#'cause rn it seems like everyone and their mother uses it

[ladyinthebluebox]

[pepperyduck]

west end girls - hiromi higuruma

synopsis: after you filed for divorce, hiromi's been acting strange. he's got a problem that only you can fix.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: potentially triggering content, nsfw, angst, guns, reckless actions, unhealthy marriage, unhealthy relationships/attachment/obsession, hiromi is cray, unprotected sex, finishing inside, riding, on a couch, hiromi is a bad husband, very much bojack horseman behaivor, ooc hiromi. (18+ mdni!)

notes: this is me rambling and i'm sorry. i'm floating rn. love u guys. pls read the warnings. mwah. inspired by the song west end girls by petshop boys.

masterlist

although the wind was chilly outside, you buried your nose in your scarf and kept walking down the street towards the firm. it was early morning, birds chirped lightly in the trees, and you found yourself feeling off that day. you didn’t know why.

you didn’t know why, until you passed a certain coffee shop you used to visit often.

inside, pure chaos had erupted, it seemed.

a familiar man to you, and a stranger – or maniac – to the others inside, held a gun. it wasn’t pointed anywhere but to the temple of his head. tables had been knocked down, chairs had been kicked, people had been pushed into the corners of the shop, too scared to move or run away. everyone was frozen in fear, except for him.

“hiromi.”

your voice was cold as ice as you called his name from the front doors. hiromi’s back was facing you, allowing for a perfect silhouette of a man gone mad, with a barrel of a gun kissing his head. but at the sound of your voice – oh, he could go on about how much he loved your voice – the gun was dropped, and he slowly turned around.

stunts like that weren’t out of the ordinary for hiromi since the two of you had split. not divorced yet, just separated – at least, that’s what he told everyone. in reality, the date to finalize the split was creeping up. the closer it got, the more manic hiromi had turned, going from soaking in his bathtub with his suit on, to buying a gun, to now threatening to use that gun on himself in the place you first met. it seems like a wild pipeline, but really, there’s too many incidents to be listed here.

there were a lot of things that made hiromi higuruma go crazy, and unfortunately, you were one of them.

bystanders in the coffee shop looked at you as if you were the insane one, as you walked over to hiromi and snatched him out of the building, muttering a very bitter apology to everyone in there. as you touched your ex-husband’s arm, the gun consequently fell to the floor, causing the clip to fall out with a clatter.

there were no bullets inside.

yet the police had showed up minutes later, after you and hiromi were far down the sidewalk.

hiromi walked with a slump, hands hidden in the pockets of his blazer, unprepared for the winter weather that was only growing colder. you stepped alongside him, voice muffled by the thick scarf of your favorite color as you berated him. weirdly enough, you had kept your job at hiromi’s firm, even after the initiation for divorce. you had a good standing in it, and hiromi loved you too much to fire you, even if you did want to escape him. maybe one day, you’d be able to move cities, but then, you felt as if you didn’t have many places to go.

the thing is, you always were hiromi’s saving grace. it wasn’t healthy for either of you. he was too attached, using you as his lifeline, always needing your attention rather than the attention of anyone else. you told him countless times to move on, and he still continued to show out, and force you to be his superwoman and come save him.

you still loved him, but he drained you, so, so badly. that’s why you filed for divorce in the first place. however, it always felt like…you’d never be able to fully get away from him. hiromi acted as a lost puppy, briefly following it’s mother whenever it found her.

the city you and hiromi stayed in – separately, by the way; you had an apartment on the opposite side of town from him – was big. you had moved there with him after college when he proposed to you a few days after graduation. you found the city to be enjoyable, there was never a quiet moment in the streets of the most populated portions. boredom was never a problem.

hiromi, however, easily found the city overwhelming. especially when he was by himself. without you.

big lights, unfamiliar faces on billboards, whispering voices. car horns were blared, and breaks squealed every other second. sounds, so many sounds, and visuals. it was all too much for hiromi. all too much.

too much.

too. much.

maybe it was you, or the liquor. possibly it was the case he had lost earlier that day, or the phone call he received from an unhappy client, or the front office clerk that threw her badge at him and quit. either way, hiromi was in the middle of the street, drunkenly walking in front of and in between the traffic-jammed cars, flipping random people off who yelled at him. a true, rebellious, and vulgar, display of how much he had gotten away from himself.

he no longer cared about anything else in the world in that moment.

nothing. not himself, or you.

at least, until he saw your frame storming towards him. like a switch in his mind, the instant he saw you, he remembered what life was about. with your pretty heels and pretty dress, a few of your friends he had met before – and that were in your wedding – trailed out of the bar, watching as you forcefully dragged him back to the sidewalk.

“what the hell is your problem, hiromi? what the fuck? you always do this when—are you drunk?” you shot questions left and right at him, and all hiromi could do was look at you with his stupid huge eyes.

he loved you.

on the ride back to his place, and when you told him to calm the fuck down, all he was able to think about was how much he loved you. even if you hated his guts or found him to be nothing but a pest. you truthfully didn’t feel that way, though.

you often pondered about whether you should force hiromi to get help. taking into consideration everything that was on his plate every day, he needed something to make him snap out of it. hiromi was no longer the man you fell in love with. he wasn’t the same hiromi who got flowers, or took you out on dates, or wrote you notes about his love.

hiromi had turned into nothing more than an unrecognizable maniac.

unrecognizable. that would be the only adjective to describe your ex-husband when you opened your apartment door and let him inside. he had kept an indescribable expression constantly for the past months, one of which had immediately faded upon being let into your space. you noticed how he had gotten a haircut, swooped it back into its normally kempt style, and his face was freshly shaved. he had cleaned up nicely at your call.

only a few minutes into the painful conversation you planned, the both of you were crying your eyes out, spewing to one another about concerns and how hiromi felt, the complexity of his emotions and why he acted so strangely.

“i-i just…want you to get better, hiromi. you aren’t…you anymore,” you cried, honesty the only thing leaving your lips. you tightly held onto hiromi’s hand, nearly cutting off the circulation to his thin fingers.

and again, the switch in his brain flipped. a look in his eye appeared, or more like the pain and suffering he had held on to finally disappeared from his gaze, leaving nothing but the pure eyes of the hiromi higuruma you had fallen in love with. he raised his free hand to your cheek, cupping it ever-so-slightly and ran his thumb over the warm, tear-stained flesh.

“i’m okay, my love, i’m here.”

said through teary eyes, hiromi tried his best to comfort you. he wasn’t sure what was up with him, or if he would ever get better any time soon, but all that mattered to him in those moments was you. he pet your hair when you fell over to hug him, crying into his chest at the possibly false assurance. while you cried into him, hiromi looked around your apartment, relishing in the ability to see how you lived again.

against your better judgement, one thing ended up leading to another, as if both of you had been waiting for this opportunity ever since you filed for divorce.

hiromi had his hands on your waist, helping to bounce you up and down slowly and sensually, burying his length into you ‘til you hit the hilt. intimate, passionate, it all felt comparable to your wedding night. one of your hands rested atop his own, swiping over the gold wedding band he still sported.

you looked so beautiful, only wearing an old t-shirt, biting your bottom lip as he always made you do. the thought of a condom or even pulling out was long gone, he was going to stay inside of you until he felt fixed. who knew the solution to all his problems was sex?

moving you just a bit faster, hiromi quickened the pace, bucking his hips up into you to meet your walls sliding back down around his cock. he filled you up so nicely, soft tip of his hitting that sweet spot you couldn’t get anyone else to. your legs burned and shivered, overcome with the feeling of being stretched out so well, so familiar again.

“’hiro, mm-, please,” you absentmindedly begged, asking for something you didn’t know.

“please what, pretty?” hiromi’s voice was as monotone as ever, perfectly controlled although he felt himself getting closer and closer to the line of bursting inside of you.

you slumped your body over hiromi’s, crashing into his chest again, legs going halfway limp as you used all your strength to try to move on your ex-husband’s raging hard cock. hiromi took this opportunity – a familiar one of his past – and snaked his hands to under your thighs that were spread on either side of him. he held you up at a perfect height, and began hammering into you from below, planting his feet in the ground.

your little ouuu’s and whimpers swirled into his ears, making hiromi feel proud as ever, and beckoning him closer to the edge. you didn’t care what happened after that point, you just never wanted the feeling of your ex-husband pounding into you to end.

each grueling stretch felt heavenly, forcing you open in just the right way, faster, faster and faster. even as much of a romantic as the both of you were, hiromi enjoyed setting a brutal pace much more than being slow. every fast, deep stroke your ‘hiro gave you, was felt with intensity you hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. even as your body went limp against him for good, he kept you help up with whatever strength he could find.

“feels so good, ‘hiro—gonna cum,” you whined, cutely pecking his neck after. he found your little weak kisses so endearing, it was a small detail he looked forward to every time the two of you made love. the pace never faltered, hiromi kept pounding up into you, forcing the bubbles in your lower abdomen to begin to pop.

“it’s okay, pretty, cum for me,” he muttered, always a little embarrassed about dirty talking with you. but nevertheless, his words made you topple over the edge, gushing all around hiromi’s length. he fucked straight through your orgasm, still never slowing down, making you grasp reality at the feeling of being overstimulated.

immediately, you began to whine again, “too much, ‘hiro, ah—uugh.” pitiful tears rolled over your lower eyelids, staining your cheeks for the second time that night. those tears were fully pleasure-written, though.

“gonna cum, my wife,” hiromi grumbled, the last two words leaving his mouth as little less than a whisper. little mind was paid to the fact he had no intention of pulling out, the realization coming to you when you felt ropes of your ex-husband’s cum shoot straight into you.

hiromi relaxed after a few more thrusts, dropping your motionless body back onto him fully. you stayed gripped to him for a few moments, contemplating about the moments before when lust had taken over – but really, you figured it wouldn’t be so bad if all this would become a little accident.

he was – was – your husband, after all.

after a few long minutes, hiromi picked you up, just as he always did, and carried you to your bed. he carefully laid down with you, soaking in the feeling of being warm under the blankets with his wife. he watched your frame as you fell asleep, cuddled into his toned frame, his arm securely around you.

he failed to fall asleep for a while.

and when you rolled over away from him in your sleep, getting comfy in a different position, away from him – he felt off again. hiromi hated that feeling. it was uncomfortable, and just…odd.

hiromi higuruma couldn’t help it that night when he snuck out of your bed, and out of your apartment, to go back home. he left you.

he figured he would wake up later and feel guilty about it, and frantically beg you to accept him again. but then, once more, nothing mattered to hiromi.

he did think about how you’d be when you woke up. will you try to talk to him? will you cut him off for leaving like that? will you act as if it never happened? he saw you as a strong woman, it’d be easy for you to let go of him in an instant, right?

hiromi was probably wrong, but he still ended up by himself at the end of the night. he shivered alone in his bed, dressed in all the clothes he had on earlier that night, thinking. he always thought too much.

[luxaryllis]

hi!! if you're accepting requests rn could you pls write just pure angst of azul with a younger sibling who he was super close to before, but when their parents got divorced they grew distant bc the sibling went to live with their dad instead of with him and his mom. then a few years later sibling ends up attending nrc and azul recognizes them and is excited to talk to them again only to discover that they're not the same as before.

rlly loved your scared younger sibling fics. they gave me chest pains bc of how damn sad they were. keep up the good work :)

Brother Knows Best

Note: OMG!! What is this!? I, Lux, FINALLY finishing something and posting it?! Has a miracle truly happened?!

Anyway, I'll just write the sibling of this one as a year younger than Azul, and the sibling was also be an octopus merfolk. I'm going to mention the reader having interests in some stuff, so please don't get offended if it doesn't apply to you. You can always just replace the traits I put as a trait of yours!

And imma just use Ashengrotto as the family name, cuz idk if Ashengrotto was the last name of Azul's bio father, or step-father, or the maiden name of his mother.

Warning/s: Parents divorcing, Split custody, Angst, Spoilers to Azul's backstory and past, Spoilers to Azul's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Reader is mentioned to have somewhat similar features to Azul (specific features aren't specified), Tell me if I missed anything

Full post under the cut!

-----

"Big brother! Why are you crying?" A slightly smaller mer-octopus swam closer with a concerned expression.

Azul, who was hiding in an octopus pot, looked up to his sweet and innocent little sibling. The 7-year-old boy's eyes soften, and Azul knew that it was only a matter of time before his baby sibling, [Name], would go through all the bullying and teasing as well.

But Azul didn't want that. He wanted [Name]'s cute smile to last forever. He wanted [Name] to not have to see and experience the horrors of simply being themself. He wanted to protect [Name] from everything and everyone who dared hurt them.

Azul's heart squeezed in his chest as he realizes that he can't. He can't protect [Name]. Azul couldn't even protect himself! He truly was... a weak, dumb, slow little octopus...

Tormented by his thoughts, Azul continued sobbing, hiding further into the octopus pot, hiding his chubby face from his little sibling.

"Don't look at me!!" Azul cries out, accidentally spitting out ink from his tentacles, staining the waters around them. The mess caused Azul to cry even more, the ugly black liquids reminding him of what the other kids told him.

[Name] frowns softly, they didn't know why their big brother was upset. The younger mer-octopus moves closer to the octo-pot, trying to coax their older brother to come out.

"Zul-ie.. what's wrong? I don't like seeing you sad..."

Upon receiving no response, the younger child purses their lips in a pout.

"Come onnn...! Mom and dad made dinner! They made fried chicken! Your favorite!!"

---

"Big brother!! Look, look! Wanna hear this song I learned on the piano?!"

Piano keys played a gorgeous melody under [Name]'s fingers, and Azul watched with wide eyes full of wonder and pride. Azul felt a small sense of envy in him, but he couldn't find it in himself to acknowledge the jealousy, because Azul was too proud of his younger sibling to do that.

And yet...

As [Name] learned more and more, Azul couldn't help but feel... left behind.

As though [Name] doesn't need him anymore.

But... but that isn't true right? [Name] needs Azul... right...?

As days and years pass by, nagging feelings of envy and worthlessness bubble up in Azul as he watches his sibling shine.

'I should be proud of them,' he thinks to himself as his mind wanders while he was studying.

---

'Mom and dad don't love each other anymore...'

Those were the thoughts in the two siblings' heads while they listened to their parents argue for what felt like the umpteenth time. And today, it seemed as though everyone in the house had finally had enough of the screams and shouts.

Around a month or so later, the Ashengrotto family were in court, for a divorce trial. It was a somewhat long process, but the judge's words hit the two children like a truck.

"Mrs. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over Azul Ashengrotto. Whilst Mr. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over [Name] Ashengrotto."

When the Ashengrotto family split up, Azul and [Name] were desperately trying to stay together. It went to the point that their parents had to pull the crying siblings apart because [Name] and their father had to leave.

"Big brother!!! NO!!"

"[Name]!!! Don't leave me please!!"

---

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

Azul wakes up with a start, sitting up from the bed with wide eyes and heavy breathing. His hair was frazzled in a bedhead, and he quickly looks around.

The Octavinelle Dorm Leader recognizes his dorm room, and breathes a sigh. Not one of relief, but one of exhaustion. Azul reaches to his bedside table and takes his glasses, putting them on as he checks the clock. 5 am.

Next to the clock, Azul sees the small picture he placed. A family picture of him, his mother, his father, and his younger sibling. It was taken before his parents had divorced. When they were all happy...

Azul stares at his younger sibling in the picture, yearning to see them again. He reaches out a bit, but stops himself and shakes his head. 'Now is not the time', he thinks to himself. He shakily stands up and starts getting ready for the welcoming ceremony of the new first years of NRC.

Azul leaves the room and passes by Jade and Floyd's shared room. The house-warden could hear Floyd's complaining through the door and he sighs, knocking on the door and speaking.

"Floyd, would you stop complaining? Jade and I have to get ready for the Welcoming Ceremony, and you and the others have to start preparing for the welcome party for our new first years."

Almost immediately, Floyd replies with a slight whiney tone. "Says the person who wasn't wrung out like a rag for some lotion! I can barely walk!!" Azul could almost hear the pout in Floyd's voice and sighs in exasperation, listening to Jade trying to calm his brother down.

Deciding to leave the twin eels alone, Azul starts to walk away and head to the Lounge to make sure the preparations are going smoothly. As he walked, his mind can't help but wander to thoughts like if he and his own younger sibling would have a similar dynamic to Jade and Floyd. Hm, or would their dynamic be more like Idia's and Ortho's? Likely not, perhaps.

These thoughts weighed in Azul's mind, and he feels himself shaking his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He hasn't seen his younger sibling for a long time; but Azul certainly hopes that [Name] didn't have such a drastic change like he did.

For some reason, Azul couldn't bear the thought of his previously happy-go-lucky and outgoing [Name] to be anything else other than such a happy mer-octopus. It was wishful thinking, but what kind of older brother would he be if he didn't wish only the best for his younger sibling?

---

When the time came for the Welcoming Ceremony to begin, the Housewardens (exceot for Malleus Draconia, who likely didn't receive the invitation, Azul thinks) were all lined in a circle surrounding the mirror, waiting for students to be sorted into their own dorms.

As each student was being sorted to their dorms, Azul takes the time to look at each student that seemed to catch his attention. None seemed very relevant thus far, maybe a few people he could exploit here and there.

"Next student!"

A student dressed in the NRC Ceremonial Robes stepped out of the crowd of the unsorted first-years. Their hood was on and casting a shadow down their face as they walked towards the mirror.

"State thy name." The mirror said when the student stepped up.

Suddenly, the student spoke a name that ran a shiver down Azul's spine. A name that Azul never thought he would hear no matter how much he wished to hear.

"[Name] Ashengrotto."

Jade raised an eyebrow and turned to Azul curiously, and some other students who recognized the last name also snuck some glances to the Octavinelle Dormleader. Azul could vaguely hear Idia's voice through the floating tablet, saying things like, 'Plot twist?!', but he paid no heed to it.

Azul's eyes were wide, and his mouth was lightly agape in surprise. His younger sibling... studying in NRC?!?

Questions ran through Azul's head in that moment. How is his younger sibling doing? Do they still like to play the piano? Or perhaps they still continued collecting those sea shells? Did [Name] still want to be a singer when they grew up? Do they still enjoy chasing their tentacles like a dog liked chasing its tail? Do they still have that same smile they always did; the one that brightened any room they were in and made their eyes glimmer like the stars land-folk liked to gaze at?

The Dark Mirror spoke again, "The shape of they soul is..."

Azul was beside himself with worry and anticipation. What dorm would his younger sibling be sorted into?

'Octavinelle, Octavinelle, Octavinelle', Azul chanted in his head, hoping for the Dark Mirror to sort [Name] in the dorm he was in.

"... Octavinelle!"

It took almost everything in Azul not to let out a sigh of relief, but he was celebrating in his mind. Suddenly remembering that he was the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle, he stepped up and made himself known to his beloved younger sibling.

Azul mustered up an amicable smile (and those who knew him were rather surprised at how genuine Azul's smile looked), and spoke. "Welcome to Octavinelle, right this way please."

[Name], not having realized who the person underneathe the hood was, nodded and walked to the crowd of Octavinelle students, waiting for the Welcoming Ceremony to be over.

---

After a rather tiring Welcoming Ceremony, with an entire fire getting started by a racoon-cat-monster named Grim, all the students (save for that one student who couldn't get sorted to a dorm) were allowed to leave and go back to their respective dorms.

The Octavinelle first-years were granted a delicious meal and celebration, and were all briefed on their duties in the Mostro Lounge. The entire time, Azul kept sneaking glances at [Name], which wasn't really left unnoticed by the twins or by [Name] themself.

Azul eventually mustered up the courage to approach his younger sibling and struck up a conversation.

"[Name], it's very nice to see you..! I'm Azul, remember? Your older brother?" Azul's voice was one of slight anxiety, did [Name] eveb remember him? It has been a while since they last even heard from each other..

[Name] turns to look at Azul and nods a bit, smiling a little. "Ah, right. It's so nice to see you again, Zulie."

Being referred to his favorite childhood nickname made Azul smile softly, but he couldn't shake off the surprise at seeing the change of demeanor in [Name]. Back when they were younger, [Name] was much more outgoing and enthusiastic compared to this [Name], who seemed to want to curl up in a ball when someone else tried making conversation with them.

Not even their smile fully reached their eyes anymore. Just what had happened to his beloved younger sibling in the time he was gone?

Internally hoping that his younger sibling hadn't changed too much, Azul tried to continue the conversation. "Ah, do you.. still play the piano?"

[Name] shook their head and smiled a little sheepishly in reply. "Oh, no I don't anymore. Atleast, not as often as before. I still play it occasionally, but I don't exactly find it as fun now."

"What about collecting sea shells? Surely, you still find that enjoyable?"

"Dad and I lived in a more colder part of the ocean, and there weren't a lot of sea shells to collect. So, no, not really."

"Ahh, I see... what do you like doing nowadays, then, [Name]?"

"Oh, well..." [Name] then proceeds to tell their older brother of their interests; though most (if not all) the things the younger Ashengrotto listed were things Azul weren't very interested in.

Regardless, Azul nods in understanding, trying not to mind how much his sibling had changed.

The next few weeks after that, Azul had found it hard to approach [Name]. Why? Well, maybe it was because of the fact that his younger sibling had grown rather attached to the Ramshackle prefect and a certain trouble-making trio (Ace, Deuce, and Grim).

Azul had enough of it, seeing his younger sibling get roped into trouble from their group of friends. When [Name] had came back to the dorm with the Heartslabyul's dorm leader's collar on them, Azul had to pull his younger sibling aside to talk.

"[Name], may I ask exactly why you have Riddle's collar on you? What did your friends bring you into this time?" Azul asked [Name] as they spoke in Azul's office. Azul was looking at his beloved younger sibling with furrowed brows and a scrutinizing expression.

[Name] replied, "It's a.. long story, big brother. Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and I were at Heartslabyul's Unbirthday Party. Dorm Leader Rosehearts got mad at us and collared us and kicked us out of the party because a rule was broken.."

Azul sighs in disappointment and exasperation. He can't believe his younger sibling associated themself with such troublemakers.

"[Name], honestly, why do you even hang out with such people?! They're getting you into trouble!"

[Name] tries to defend themself, "They don't mean to! And I can't just stand by and watch as my friends suffer on their own!"

Azul starts to get a little frustrated. Can't they see, those group of 'friends' as [Name] calls them are terrible influences. It's only a matter of time before they start using [Name] for their own benefit, Azul is sure about that. After all, [Name] has always been rather straightforward in the way that they won't hesitate to help (such values were strange to see in a school like Night Raven College). And Azul knew what happened to people like that; they get exploited, wrung out like a rag, draining them out until there's nothing left to give.

If [Name]'s friends were anything like the other students of NRC (like how Azul would treat his 'clients'), it would be so, so much worse for [Name]. Oh, Azul could practically see it now; it'll start small, like helping out with homework or lending some money. Eventually, it'll be like his younger sibling got the life and kindness sucked out of them, leaving them burnt out like a poor, unfortunate soul!

And Azul can't and won't let his beloved younger sibling go through that. He won't let [Name] fall from grace so terribly like the people who've broken their end of the deal with him.

And that is what Azul tells [Name] (leaving out the parts that paint Azul as the scheming businessman he is, of course) in an effort and attempt to dissuade his sibling from staying friends with their troublemaking friends.

"Don't you see, my dear sibling? They're only using you and their troublemaking schemes would run your student record through the mud. They're getting you involved in so much drama and troubles, and as your older brother, I'd hate for you to be surrounded by such terrible influences," Azul says.

[Name] frowns a bit. Azul worded it as though they hadn't done anything wrong, which wasn't all that far from the truth, though. However, [Name] also knew that Azul was thinking that they were being dragged against their will to help out, which they weren't.

"Big brother... I'm helping out willingly, because I want to. Besides, they're my friends. Didn't the Sea Witch always help other people? We're Octavinelle students, we must always follow the Sea Witch's values."

[Name] replies. The facts about Octavinelle and the Sea Witch were things that the younger Ashengrotto used to try convincing Azul to let them go.

Azul clicks his tongue, his eyes narrowing as he pushes up his glasses that were starting to fall a bit. "Then perhaps you should try getting better, more behaved friends instead of the ones you have right now. What happened to the well-behaved [Name] I used to know?" Azul mutters under his breath, but [Name] could still hear Azul's words.

[Name] frowns at the last question. "What 'happened' is that life happened, Azul. Not everyone stays the same! I've changed!!"

Azul, however, has difficulty getting behind the thought, shaking his head in denial, "Then change back!! [Name], I want the old you! The one who'd listen and trust me without a second thought! The one who was dependent on me! The one who actually made me feel special!!"

That was the last straw for [Name]. They have grown tired of their older brother trying to keep them the same as they used to when they were a child. Can't Azul just let go of the past? "Well that [Name] is gone!! I'm independent now, Azul! I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one!"

[Name] shouts in a burst of anger, before their eyes widen, not having expected themself to actually blow up like that. Not necessarily regretting it, though, the young Ashengrotto quickly turns away and leaves Azul's office, ignoring their older brother's shouts for them to come back.

---

Azul breathes heavily as he falls to his knees, watching as his younger sibling walks away from him, closing the door behind them. The sight can't help but remind Azul of the time when he and [Name] were separated; just this time, [Name] was being pulled away by their 'friends' instead of their father.

Azul can't believe this!! Did [Name] really just walk away from him?! After everything Azul did in hopes of having his dearest sibling back?! How dare they!

How dare they change! How dare they change so much to the point Azul barely recognizes them! How dare they move on from the past so quickly, as if it didn't bother them! And how dare they even think of choosing their friends over him!

How dare they make him cry! How dare they say words that hurt far more than when those pesky merfolk would bully him!! How dare they leave him there, with tears falling down his eyes and with a heart aching for family!

How dare they, how dare they, how dare they!!

Azul takes a deep breath of resolution, his eyes narrowing behind the glint of his glasses. Never mind, then. He'll show them, he just knows it.

Azul calls the Leech twins over to the office, preparing to make a plan for the upcoming exam season, a list of specific names he wants them to target.

He'll show [Name]. He'll show them that he's right. That big brother knows best.

[tw1l1te]

Ooohh , I just read about the flustered links reacting to showing skin and flirty-ness (it’s great!), but how do you think Legend or Four would react? For some reason I feel like Legend would be really surprised initially and caught off guard, but then get used to it pretty fast. For Four, (going with the concept that he is four people in one) I feel like, from his sides, Red would be flustered, Green would try to act respectfully and avert his gaze, Blue would blush, but would try to not bring attention to it and act normally, and Vio would be 100% unaffected. Meaning that Four is a mess or reactions all at once.

Ugh I'm having so much Legend brainrot rn :>

I feel like Legend is the more suave one in this scenario. He's used to people being flirty with him, sexual innuendos, yada yada. But when it's you that insinuates that? He's smitten, turned on, all of the above.

Four is kinda similar in the sense that he hears sooo much stuff about people's sex lives in the blacksmith shop, like an ungodly amount, so he doesn't really react to it much. The colors internally are wreaking havoc mentally, though.

Here's some scenarios for the two<3

Legend

He was sewing up Wild's tunic after dinner, as the fabric was so full of holes, it was hardly a piece of clothing.

You wandered off to go wash up in the nearby stream

The group setup camp for the night, so everyone was taking inventory of weapons and food and doing whatever hygiene/self care regimes that needed to be done

Mistakingly, however, you grabbed Legend's spare clothes instead of your own. Of course you fucking did.

Your presense was made known with a wolf whistle from Wars, causing Legend to look up from his work, choking on his spit when he noticed what you were wearing.

You were wearing his dark green long tunic and shorts, hair loose from your typical up-do.

Mother of- seeing you wearing his clothes was doing something to him. He felt... hot. His mouth was dry, eyes glued onto your form. The clothes were a bit big on you, your neck and shoulders exposed to him.

"Sorry, I meant to grab my own clothes but it seems like I accidentaly took yours. I can go change-"

"Don't. Please don't."

Oh. Oh. Oh-

A sly smile spread on your lips, Legend already regretting his vocal admittance.

You sit next to him, head on his shoulder. Breathing on to his neck, you whisper "You like me in your clothes don't you? Why don't we see how much you like me without them."

Four

He was hammering away at a sword, sheltered from the downpour outside. The others were in the other room, looking over their materials and planning next steps for their journey

Suddenly the door slams open, you standing thoroughly soaked through from the rain.

"Holy- What were you doing out there?! Get in get in-"

Four quickly places the hot blade somewhere safe so either of you don't get burnt or catch something on fire.

Four runs to the broom closet, grabbing an old blanket to warm you with, coming back to you and bundling you in it, but not before noticing that you had been wearing all white meaning-

Meaning he could see everything

The curve of your chest, the outline of your hips, even your dark green lacy panties that he bought for you a month ago

"I-uh was out doing some errands and somehow took the long way back and I got lost. Also, got caught in the storm, as you can obviously tell.

He clears his throat, trying to avoid gazing downwards, which was done not very subtly at all. He was practically looking at the ceiling.

"-Ah you can see everything, can you?"

He nods, ears burning red.

"I probably shouldn't wear all white when I know its going to rain, that's my bad. Although..."

You place a delicate hand on his chest, playing with a button on his tunic, his heart hammering hundreds of miles a second and the colors were going haywire-

"I do like the color of panties you chose for me. Why don't we go see how the others you bought look on me, hm?"

teehee :3

[hihimihwa]

OMORI in PJO

Omori characters as demigods with very complicated family drama for some reason

Let's start happy- Kel and Hero are both sons of Apollo with different mortal parents who... married each other. So like the they're step siblings in the mortal side but also siblings in the Godly side 😭 Their Mama, with Aphrodite's gift passed down, fell in love with Apollo first, giving birth to Hero. Papa got mad for a bit but he also fell in love with Apollo and brought Kel. Orrr they met after getting kids, and became a couple as exes of Apollo, but I thought the former was funnier.

Kel, child of Apollo, Legacy of Hephaestus

Has the gift of Archery, but he mostly uses his perfect aim for basketball. Pretty fast and athletic. Curses rhyming couplets speech on others for pranks hehehe

Really likes music(ref: his jukebox in his room) but doesn't sing or play instruments much. Or well, he doesn't sing the lyrics- he keeps forgetting them lol

Can't heal, but his fast recovery(slightly more than average demigods) makes up for the random injuries he keeps getting running around

This applies to Hero too but they can't lie. They might get better in the future but rn, everyone's alive timeline, they suck at lying(ref: the poker game photos)

I actually added the Hephaestus thing last minute. It's pretty far down the family tree, so the only thing he inherited was speaking to machines(ref: the rock hector) no Kel, the messiness wasn't passed down, stop blaming your great great grandfather.

Hero, child of Apollo, legacy of Aphrodite

Their mother is from a legacy of Aphrodite, so not only did he get Apollo's gift of healing from his fatherly side, he also got Charmspeak from his motherly side.

Since he's naturally good at music, he learnt that one piano piece from Mari very quickly. I have a headcanon that he can't sing but like it's a headcanon so you can ignore that if you want.

Unlike his lil brother and other demigod half siblings, he does NOT have any athletic abilities. Man will run for barely a minute and can't go on any longer. He sticks to healing ppl.

The one time he's actively trying to (nonserious)charm someone, Mari seems sooo unaffected lolol

Next- Sunny and Mari. Mari is a daughter of a mortal mother and demigod father of Poseidon.

Later on, though, Mommy fell in love with Hypnos(God of sleep) which was the beginning of Father's dislike for Sunny.

Sunny, child of Hypnos

Demigod powers were kept a secret from the kids bec that'd be admitting Mommy cheated. Sunny always had conscious and vivid dreams, thinking it was normal.

Later on, him and Mari are taught by Hecate bec of their good visualisation and memory, though Sunny used it for fun and battle while Mari only manipulated the mist to keep up her good student record at school. Ok wait shoot this supposed to be abt Sunny.

Uhhh when their demigod sides were revealed, Sunny used his power to manipulate his friends' dreams when they come to him for nightmares (ex: Aubrey, Basil.)

Mari, legacy of Poseidon

Ok yall are gonna be like "why didn't you make Mari child of Apollo instead of Kel and Hero" ok it's because she'd been more sporty before she started learning piano (i think?? Ok maybe that was more fanon than canon) but her piano skills had to be learned.

Her knee was bad for a while and bec of that she avoided swimming. That time Sunny was drowning, however, Mari didn't care and just jumped in to save him. Looky here, her knee healed up! Should've gone swimming sooner.

Can't control the water, can't stay dry, can't speak to animals, but they all like her so she'll never die of tsunamis and sharks. Can't drown either, but it still isn't a good idea to stay underwater for too long..

Actually no she can control a tiny sprinkle of water, just enough to make Iris messages or cause distractions. Or scare monsters into thinking she has more powers from Poseidon.

Aubrey, child of Zeus

Please don't just think I'm gonns make her like Thalia. I mean her mom's messed up too and they got the cool aesthetic and. Um. Sighs.

Latched onto Mari immediately bec of the Big Three Godly power attracting monsters. She's more powerful than her, being a direct daughter of Zeus, but respects her a lot ++

Can fly but she'd rather ride her motorbike. Bec of this, people thought she's a kid of Ares. The war god does wish she was his kid, but alas, he cannot adopt.

Hera hates her the most. The feeling is mutal.

Gives tiny shocks to Kel when he's annoying her. He always thought she was being too harsh on him, until he saw what she does to the real enemies. It's very dangerous to be in her vicinity when she's mad.

Basil, child of Dionysus

Thought he was a child of Demeter? So did he. IM SORRY DJWNDNSAHAHAH I thought it'd be hilarious. This isn't plot convenient, it's joke convenient.

""Basil.. My daughter- I mean, your mother died when you were so young.. Please forgive me for letting this happen.." Grandma held his hand sorrowfully.

"It's okay, I understand," Basil smiled kindly, all the while thinking his mom was a lesbian who fell in love with Demeter.

Has pretty powerful vine control. He only used his powers for battle and never for his planting hobby, so he didn't realise that his powers were limited to grapevines.

Besties with Aubrey, especially when she told him her home situation. Made all her mother's alcohol taste bad. Hates Hera along with her and calls her granny.

Extras:

Kim and Vance are children of Hermes. It's the catalyst for their mortal parents' divorce

Angel is a child of Ares. Again, I thought it was funny 👉👈 his sister(Artist) is completely mortal but can see through the mist, even ones made by other half-bloods

Charlene and her siblings are children of Hades. Doesn't she have 5 siblings? Hades what the heck.

Mikhael, Daphne, and Bowen are children of Athena. I did this for Mikhael's journey throughout the game, trying to find another talent to separate himself from his family. Absolutely hates his cap of invisibility.

Cris is a child of Poseidon, very cool and lowkey. Actually the one to tell him *not* to claim her bec swimming had been her favourite thing until she spiraled wondering if it was because she was a child of the sea god or if it was really her. :)

Mincy is a child of Demeter! :D she likes to use her powers to make places look prettier(ex:playground) and practice flower drawings.. and when she's on the art grind, she just summons a fruit to eat rq and continue. Gotta be careful, if she overworks herself, she gets artblock until the next spring.

Polly, all hail Polly, I heard ppl theorize that Sally from pjo was a daughter of Aphrodite so I'm gonna do that with her. Polly's a daughter of Aphrodite. Ofc she is.

[calamaroo]

Wassup California love!

Do you have any Dashi HC's from any of your AU's or just for Dashi in general.

Also lowkey would love to hear some more pirate AU stuff cause I love it!

THE LIST IS GROWING!!! CALIFORNIA LOVE!!!

(I love beyond words all the absolute absurd nick names/various ways to say my name, I cherish each and every one 🥹)

Dashi Masina Dachshund

Some general headcanons:

She/her, 34 years old, Bisexual (I dont know a lot about different sexualities, but that seems fitting).

Loves fashion (along with Kwazii) and their styles are the most out there compared to everyone else's. They modify their uniforms the most out of the crew, and Dashi has a particularly love for a pink, tropic, and techy aesthetics.

This is how I imagine her general aesthetic and/or vibe looks (Absolutely drop dead gorgeous) :

AfroAmer + Samoan ( original idea from @animalsalvationassociation ) grew up in Australia with her mother, who was a wildlife photographer. They traveled often but always returned home eventually. --- mother is Samoan, and father was AfroAmer

Her middle name : "Masina," mean "moon" in Samoan. I think it's fitting because the moon affects the tides, and having the moon in your good graces would grant you safe passage on the sea.

Was a pilot before the Octonauts, where she continued to travel and took photos of all her destinations. Even now, she sends almost all of the pictures she takes back to her mother.

( @hers-underwraps ) said she would be into meteorology, and that sounds very fitting.

Pirate!Dashi

AU Lore/Headcanons :

Is the Black Ice's Navigatior (like a Skipper). She pilots the ship and is the best at it. She could dock even the biggest warship on a dabloon if she wanted.

Met the Gentleman Blue (+ crew, which was only Tweak and Kwazii at the time) after she tried to steal his ship. Barnacles was impressed by her skills and bravery and asked if she'd like to join them. She agreed.

She is closest with Shellington (the new guy) and occasionally helps him with his alchemy.

Primary weapons would be something focusing on distance. Poison darts, throwing knives, and the occasional flintlock shot. Knives and darts are quicker than guns to reload, so she sticks to that. She doesn't fight often though, as on the rare occasion an enemy managed to get on to the Black Ice, they are quickly removed or killed before they can reach the helm.

Master of seduction and trickery. She knows she's drop-dead gorgeous and will use that to her advantage. (Because she's hot like that, and a pirate. She's gotta be a least a little evil and sexy.)

Nicknamed : "The Black Ice Siren"

Extremely competitive at card games/fun stuff they do on board in their free time. She wins most of the time, and it infuriates Kwazii (who is twice as competitive)

This is what I envision for her pirate design (which I have yet to draw, but have a vision/general idea of) :

That's all I can think of rn, i hope you like it <3

Tried to make it look pretty to impress you 👉👈

[jakes3resin]

gosh!! magic au!! theseus! chaos of having at the base and it’s like two bucky. gale would definitely be shocked!

That au really hit me like a fever dream, my dear anon. I was thinking about the Twin Cleven AU and the Blond Bucky bit I added when I remembered I tacked on a tiny Theseus Easter egg. 30 minutes later I had Magic AU in my drafts with no memory of writing it.

But I've sketched out some thoughts for you and for those who are interested (please keep in mind the last time I watched Fantastic Beasts was a few years ago so I don't remember much):

Bucky's a Scamander by his father (Theseus and Newt's uncle) but goes by his mother's maiden name as he was taken in by her brother and his wife.

Both his parents were magic, but they died near the end of the First World War. Bucky stayed with the Scamanders for a little while before eventually going to America before he turned 4. Theseus was very close with him, and they were occasionally mistaken as father and son due to the age difference (Theseus was a war hero during the First World War if I remember correctly?) (Also that could be an AU now that I think about it but not rn)

He has a bit of a British accent, comes out more when he's using magic. Or when he's around his cousins. First time Buck hears it, he just about faints.

Went to Hogwarts solely because his parents went there, and he wanted to feel close to them. Not sure what House but leaning Hufflepuff. He seems like he'd be happy there.

Enjoyed the school somewhat, but he dealt with some bullying due to his American upbringing as well as some of the students still remembered Newt and bullied him for that connection.

His favorite animal is still the unicorn. It's just not extinct like he said to Buck. What can I say? Every Scamander is good with magical animals.

Had an accidental falling out with the Scamander family who wanted him to move permanently to England and stay with them during his schooling, but he prefered spending his summers in America and winter holidays in the castle.

Came home before he turned 18 (I guess started Hogwarts young for his grade? Idk.) And decided to blend in to Muggle/No-Maj society by going to college and later joining the Air Force.

After Bucky's revelation to the RAF pilots, one of them writes home saying he met Theseus Scamander's cousin! This gets passed through Wizarding society until it lands in the ears of Theseus who didn't have a clue his cousin was in England, let alone serving in a Muggle unit. And after hearing about the death toll, he gets scared.

Theseus resolves to pop down there and check in on his cousin. And unknowingly reeks havoc upon Thorpes Abbotts.

Looks like this:

(This is in a nebulous point before Curtis' death because he deserves to be alive my baby boy)

Literally everyone that sees him is flabbergasted because 1) Major Egan is handsome but he never dresses like That and 2) Major Egan is supposed to be flying back from a mission right now. Word travels through base, and it's alight with rumors.

Theseus gets dragged to Kidd's office because literally everyone is freaking out, and he's quite confused why everyone keeps calling him Bucky. He tries to explain that he's Theseus and that he's here to see his cousin John, but every time he speaks the people around him all jump (its cause his accent spooks them. That accent should not be coming from someone who looks so much like Bucky in their mind. Boy are they in for a rude awakening.)

Bucky flies back in, and after interrogation, he doesn't even get a chance to change clothes before he's being dragged to Kidd's office. Buck and a few of the boys follow utterly confused. If Bucky's in trouble, Buck's not just gonna stand by.

Theseus happily greets Bucky when he walks into the office, and the pair have an okay reunion before Theseus states that he's here to check on his younger cousin, heavily implying that he's here to transfer Bucky to a British outfit as he's a British citizen and their family connections want to keep him safe (really a Wizard one but among Muggles he's better at speaking around the issue)

Thus an argument breaks out. Bucky's accent also comes out, and nearly everyone around him loses their minds.

Buck really, really does not want to talk about what that accent does to him. It's confusing and concerning. (Clegan are together, but when your partner busts out the London Accent, well that's a gamechanger)

Anyways idk where it goes after that, but now everyone has to deal with the fallout that Bucky is British and has a nearly identical cousin who pops in to check on him.

[shjiyemis]

Gonna be so real rn.

I barely care about the election rn and my frustrations are focused on the people of minority groups who decided to vote for The parody version of the Annoying Orange, People who voted 3rd Party, and People who didnt vote at all and people who voted for Kamala wishing death upon people who dont deserve it to make the other voters feel guilty. etc. etc.

I have empathy for the people who just didnt want to support genocide and even the killer of their families but at the end of the day. No matter who you picked, America nor any other problem in the world is gonna change if you decide to let worst of all options win. We have to be smart about destroying the system and rebuilding bc guess what? No matter who you voted for or didnt vote at all, its all complicit which aint something we can control if youre living in this country.

Every single President INCLUDING Obama have supported all genocides going on. INCLUDING the silent ones going on here in America. Trump winning simply made the fire to those genocides much stronger bc now? The average citizens who support these disgusting actions are PROUDER THAN EVER.

No politician in this world is good, that was everyones first mistake. No politician in this world is good. Its just like all cops are pigs. There may be SOME good ones but that literally never matters because they're the people those systems will throw out of their gangs or they simply silence them until they become complicit or brainwashed.

Voting may not be an act of defiance but absolutely is a tactic to make it EASIER for us to defy and even riot.

My whole life, I was never given proper autonomy and I refuse to give up the autonomy ive gained through out my time in college. I refuse to be fucking scared. If I die, I die. but if I live, Im gonna fucking live.

I cant transition due to not only my psychotic diagnosis but because I will NEVER trust a medical professional when it comes to putting things in my body. My blackness was stripped away from me my whole life by my BLACK family who made me insecure about everything I couldnt control and forced the start to having so much internalized Anti-Blackness towards myself. Abortion has been illegal where I am for a WHILE before Trump became President and even than family have shown that they wouldnt support it if it seemed unjustifiable to them.

All the things ive seen people worry about has already been taken away from me so nothing has really changed for me, things ive had to worry about my whole life. So I cant imagine the fear that all of you may be having but this is why we need access to information and community.

Learn the things you refused to look at. Observe and learn the complexity of not only the people you love but the people whom you hate as well. Understand community, understand love. Stop seperating. Stop excluding the people who NEED community. CREATE COMMUNITY.

(Ive been hoping that we recreate ballrooms again cause like, I need that shit tbh. Need me a real mother fr.)

There are many things weve been through throughout history and we survived. Things were always hard and it shouldnt be but it wont get better if we become divisive. (Which is what ive been seeing for a long time from almost every minorty group. which sucks.)

I hope yall read this with not only love but with sterness. Not only empathy but with disappointment. Not only support but with warning.

Every person who simply wants to exist as a person should be given just that and I not only want that for me. But everybody in this world.

[fruitcolouredninja]

The Awakening Storm - fanfiction

This is a fic I posted to ao3,, I wanted to post it here too :] it’s got 5 chapters rn :) All current chapters on ao3 -> https://archiveofourown.org/works/61282432/chapters/156626599

Summary:

Jay’s biological mother shows up, literally, at their doorstep. Secrets are unfolded as the team learns about his past, and that it is catching up to both of them sooner than they know it.

They will stop at nothing to get their hands on the elemental power of lightning.

Chapter 1 -

“Come on, Jay! Cole won fair and square.” Kai admitted, making Jay huff out some anger at his terrible loss. “Yeah, admit it Jay. Cole’s better, you’re not the best at video games after all.” Lloyd teased him too, with a smirk on his face, which made all the others laugh under their breaths too.

Nya laughed while walking to Jay’s side, putting her arms on his shoulders,”Come on.” She called them all, “Zane should almost be done with dinner.”

Jay smiled once she spoke, feeling a little calmer at her words, maybe thinking that it wasn’t that serious after all. But he couldn’t take the loss, he’d have to prove himself better another time.

They left the common room and all made their way to the dining room, where when they arrived, Zane had made a collection of different things to put onto everyone’s plates. There was rice, chicken, many selections of other meats, pasta and lots of different sauces. Even a cake in the middle for dessert.

“Wow! Zane, you didn’t have to put this much effort in for us.” Nya seemed shocked, though they should all be used to the effort he would put into them by now.

They all sat down, happy to eat after a long day of training and that rather stressful video game tournament. “Tomorrow, we’ll rematch.” Jay eyed Cole, which caused Lloyd to laugh under his breath a little.

They all began to talk about their day, like the funny moments from training, or who beat who in the sparring and what they’ll be doing the Wednesday coming, as it’s their day off.

Their busy conversations were interrupted by a loud bang coming from outside, around where the door would be. However, it didn’t sound like a knock, more like someone had rammed right into it.

“Jay, you’re closest, go see what it is.” Kai told him, to which he sighed deeply and got up to see what it was.

Once he got to the door, he opened it a little cautiously as the bang from before was loud, “Hey, um—“ he said as he peeked outside, but he couldn’t see anyone until his eyes looked down for a moment.

A woman, with long blonde hair that seemed to be slightly stained with dirt, hunched over on the ground, struggling to get up.

“I- oh my gosh!” He opened the door wide, trying to grab the woman, but she was quite heavy for her small size, a lot of muscle which made her seem like a fighter.

But what looked to be a gi of some sorts was distorted and less identifiable than what it should be. It had rips in a lot of places, like one across her chest, and all scattered throughout her arms and legs. “Cuts… what happened?” He whispered to himself, he even saw more on her face.

He managed to find some strength and pick her up to run inside, “Guys!” He shouted, he didn’t think they answered until they all came running out when he was already half way down the hallway to the dining room.

“Oh my gosh what happened? Who is it?” Nya asked concerned, going to grab her from Jay as he seemed to be struggling to keep her up in his arms.

Nya was always stronger than Jay, so she could get her secure in her arms and make their way to the med bay with everyone swiftly. “I don’t know, she was just- collapsed on the floor!”

Everyone turned their heads to the mysterious woman when she groaned slightly, opening her eyes just a hunch to the point where most wouldn’t notice.

“No-my-my…Jay…” she said quietly, her words unclear, she tried to say more but she collapsed again, seconds before she was placed onto a bed.

Zane began tending to her, as the rest of them surrounded her, concerned at what had happened to have injured her like this and who she even was.

Pixal came from her room, noticing the chaos and she gasped when she saw the state of this woman who she’d never seen before. She went to Zane.

“She has multiple lacerations in her arms, legs, face and chest. Someone needs to apply pressure to the wound on her chest.” Jay stepped up, grabbing a hand towel that sat on the bedside table and putting pressure down.

“Will she be okay?” Nya asked.

Zane nodded, receiving a sigh of relief from everyone,”She just has some small lacerations across her limbs, minus the larger one across her chest, I also think she may have hit her head, prompting her collapse. But she should be awake soon.”

A silence fell after Zane told them of her state, and Zane continued to work on the woman, wrapping her up in bandages or just cleaning the smaller cuts. He wrapped up the wound on he chest in many thick layers of bandages, which stopped the bleeding enough to the point where she didn’t need stitches.

Once Zane finished his work and had her settled into the bed, one question rose up between the six ninja.

“Who is she?” Lloyd questioned,”Do any of you recognise her?” This promoted a few seconds of humming and tapping their feet to try and think of a time any of them have seen this person, but no one could.

However, Jay thought for a little longer than the others, feeling that there was something oddly familiar about this woman, like they shared something together.

Something felt…off.

He hummed and walked over to the bed and looked at her from the side,”I don’t know guys- she feels…familiar?” He observed the gi on her body, a dark deep blue, it was relatively plain, no extra gear to match what looks like a ninja outfit.

The only decoration were some lightning strikes, it seemed like, that ran from the bottom to the middle of the top of her gi.

Suddenly, as Jay touched her shoulder to analyse her clothing more, she opened her eyes and groaned. She looked around the room and held herself up slightly by her lower arm.

She looked tired, exhausted from what seemed like a battle. But who could she have been fighting?

As she looked around, her eyes half drooped down, where if you looked from a different angle they would basically be closed, she breathed quite heavily.

“Are you okay?” Pixal scurried to her side and helped her up, grabbing a pillow from the collection of them stored under the bed in the medical room. She put it behind her, still using a hand to prop her up, trying not to disturb the wound on her chest.

“I-“ she huffed, eyes suddenly wide from shock.”Where is he?” Everyone looked around, confused at what she could mean.

“ Who are you looking for? Are you okay?” Kai questioned her, prompting her to wave her head around more, like she needs something desperately.

That was until her head came to a stop and she looked directly at Jay.

“Jay.” She said weakly, with a small smile on her face,”My son.”

[house-on-sand]

the jason playlist (the jaylist if you will)

bonus -> favourite / most fitting lyrics

any in depth thoughts abt the lyrics might come later idk im sleepy rn

bathtub - tfb: still i scrub and scrub till my body bleeds / convince myself i am coming clean / forget and ignore who i used to be / that kid is never coming back & and all of a sudden, i am scared / all of a sudden, i can't breathe / all of a sudden, i am nothing / in this moment, you are everything

bleed - connor kauffman: you lie through your teeth, feels so incomplete / wait for your story to take you too deep / and i call out your name

wide eyes - badflower: my innocence was taken / i'll never be that boy again / i guess i'm only speculating but there's no use in hearing the truth from a liar & rage! / i'm the bad guy, i'm the bad guy / i'm the cynical kid, i'm the rage / i'm the big lie / i'm the goddamn shame of the goddamn pride! & i'm the bad guy, i'm the nice try / i'm the typical bitch with the rage!

the worst in me - bad omens: it seems no matter where i look, it's always gone / with you i know i'll never win / and it's hard to say where it went so wrong / and failed me in the end & is there forgiveness in the end?

family line - conan gray: scattered 'cross my family line / i'm so good at telling lies / that came from my mother's side / told a million to survive & all that i did to try and undo it / all of my pain and all your excuses / i was a kid, but i wasn't clueless / someone who loves you wouldn't do this

memento mori - crywank: in my life, will i make a difference? / in my death, will i be missed? / will i be granted some sort of an afterlife? / or will i just cease to exist?

bloody! bloody! - junie & thehutfriends: you're so down bad for everything / been mad since you were seventeen / you drink to forget everything / and now you're seeking blood & and you're driving with your hands, not believing all the bleeding / and they're calling you bloody / and the knife sits gleaming in the red back seating and they're calling you bloody / and theyre all still screaming in your head, and their lips dead / calling you bloody / and theyre calling you bloody, bloody

funeral derangements - ink: slave to the plot / let 'em rot / or bring 'em back forever / sometimes / sometimes / dead is better & they say, "beyond those gates, eternal life awaits" / but those beyond the grave, come back beyond depraved & i'll dig through sorrow and disgust / ashes to ashes, dust to dust / don't give up, don't let go / i'll make this right & they say that time heals all / but i won't heed the call / buried in misery / spare me the eulogy / still, i can't escape this struggle / driven when push comes to shovel / whether god's hand or my own / nothing here is set in stone & the flesh is living but the souls have spoiled / the wrath of god lays beneath this soil

let you down - nf: yeah, i guess im a disappointment doin' everything i can / i don't wanna make you disappointed, it's annoying / i just wanna make you feel like everything i ever do was never tryna make an issue for you, but i guess the more you thought about everything you were never wrong in the first place, right? & yeah, you don't wanna make this work / you just wanna make this worse / want me to listen to you, but you don't ever hear my words / you don't wanna know my hurt, yeah / let me guess, you want an apology, probably / how can we keep going at a rate like this? & i feel like every time i talk to you, you're in an awful mood / what else can i offer you? / there's nothing left right now, i gave it all to you

family - badflower: this home of mine / i see it in my dreams / where everyone looks happy / and everyone still likes me / this home of mine / i miss it all the time / what happened to this family? / what happened to this family? & first fifteen years, i'm the favorite son / last fifteen years, i'm the hated one & 'cause i let you down / and i lost my fucking mind / then everything got messy / and everyone got angry / i cursed my blood tonight / it happens all the time / is everyone against me? / has everyone goddamned me?

take a bullet - NOTHING MORE: your lips are poison and sweet / but trust doesn't come cheap / talk is nothing to me / take a bullet for me / maybe then i'll believe! & your words mean nothing to me / it's time to eat what you speak / take a bullet for me / maybe then i'll believe!

friendly fire - NOTHING MORE: i don't care about the story / i don't care about the myth / i don't care how you see my life / you haven't witnessed it / use fear as a weapon / pity as a whip / convince everyone around that i'm a piece of... & make me a sinner / because you paint the picture / buy your believers / you couldn't resist you couldn't resist

let's bury the hatchet... in your head - ink: i'm pulling all the strings i have with god / i'm hoping to find a better way / i pray the only thing i need is time / to rid the world of your lunacy! & you're as faithful as a false prophet / so, here's a prophecy for you / you'll remember me (remember me, remember me!) / when you're struggling to breathe! & can't you see the monster you've become? / i couldn't watch the world through your eyes / salvation for you's in the hands of god / so save your prayers and beg for your life!

a sadness runs through him - the hoosiers: time and again, boys race to be men / impatient they start, fearful they end / but here was a man, mourning tomorrow / he drank, but finally drowned in his sorrow & he looked in the wrong place for redemption & don't look at me with those eyes / i tried to anaesthetize / turn back the time that drew him / but he couldn't be saved / a sadness runs through him

connect the cuts - ink: doubt has dragged me down to rock bottom this time / despite the weight on my shoulders, i continue to climb / in my final hours towards a higher power to find / i'm damaged by design

the three of us (jason todd) - edward caldwell: now you say that i haven't learned, gotta be better than them / maybe you don't care or maybe you're just scared / so your greatest failures here yeah you have to choose / the man who ripped us apart or the son you had to lose & not upset you couldn't make it in time to save me / not upset you found someone new had to replace me / but why on god's green earth is he still breathing / especially when he took me from you / i mean dammit he took me from you

if i'm crazy - amigo the devil: we live in a castle made out of sand / i stood there and wondered how much you could stand / both of us float in the same kind of dark / but i was the storm and you were always the ark / you've already heard everything that i've said / i'm a man of my word and that word is regret

[sunshinebingo]

idk if your request is still open but i’ll try my luck 😭

could you please do a gwynriel angst where they have to attend a friend’s wedding party and their friends didn’t know they have broken up and they were forced into a seven minutes in heaven game but instead of what their friends have expected, the seven minutes turned out to be tears and heartbreak

i’m feeling kinda sad rn and this idea suddenly popped into my head. If you couldn’t do it, totally fine

Hi anon!! My request is always open so please feel free to send me any suggestion you might have.

Thank you so so much for having sent this one. It made me cry a bit ngl 😂 I hope you like it 🤭

Gwynriel - 1.8k - No warning - Angst only

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

*****

Love is a losing game

Some said better to love and lose than to have never known love. Right now, Gwyn wished she had never known love at all. As she watched the two newlyweds dressed in lace and silks whiter than the roses that filled the small garden, their eyes sparkling with happiness and love, their laughs rising above that of the small party who had gathered to celebrate this new step in their life, Gwyn saw what she would never have. And she wished, more than anything, that she had never known what being in love felt like.

Her own bridesmaid outfit was a mockery of it. The ivory dress that Emerie had wanted her chosen sisters to wear when walking her down the aisle had seemed to laugh at Gwyn with every step she had made, blue bouquet in hand, towards the alter. It was all a cruel, sick joke and she hated it. Hated herself for having so stupidly walked into it.

“Hey,” Nesta’s gentle voice broke through her thoughts.

Gwyn turned to look at sister, blinking away the tears of anger that had started to fill her eyes. Nesta narrowed her eyes inquisitively. “Are you okay?”

No.

“I am,” she offered Nesta one the fakest smile she had ever forced onto her face. Gwyn shrugged at her sister’s silent insistence. “I’m just so happy for them.”

Nesta laughed and picked up her crystal glass. “You’ve always been the most romantic of the three of us,” she said, referring to Gwyn, Emerie and herself. Emerie and Nesta. The only true loves of her life besides her twin and her mother.

“And the funniest,” Gwyn added with none of the joy that usually accompanied her sass.

“And the sweetest and the smartest,” Emerie chimed in across from them, fingers entwined in her new wife’s.

Nesta hummed her approval. Gwyn wondered how long it would take for them to notice the walls she had built around herself to hide her misery. She hoped that the cracks forming in this wall as she watched everyone’s happy faces would not make the whole thing crumble before she could get far away from them.

An eruption of voices caused another crack to form. It got worse when Cassian’s boisterous voice called her name on the other side of Nesta, along with another.

“Gwyn and Azriel. It’s time to find out the truth.”

Gwyn tensed and blurted a, “What?”

She felt a wave of panic rising. Gwyn internally added more bricks to her wall. She slammed her hands against the cracks even as more tears threatened to bring it all down. She couldn’t be weak. Not now. Not in front of him. Not ever.

Not now. Please. Please.

“We need to find out if you two can spend seven minutes in heaven and keep things clean,” Rhysand explained across from Cassian, no doubt mistaking her dread for confusion. His words settled in Gwyn before she could sigh at the fact that no one had yet learned the real truth.

Only then, hours after having stepped foot here, did she look at him for more than a second. His hazel eyes were already on her. Gwyn refused to read any emotion in them. She could not bear anymore lies from him.

“Come on Gwynnie,” Cassian went on. “We already placed the bets. And I know I will win because Az hasn’t stopped looking at you.”

Feyre giggled next to Rhys. “That’s nothing new Cass.”

“I know but it’s different today. His stare has been...,” Cassian placed a finger on his chin as though he was looking for the perfect word. “...harder,” he finally added with a wink that earned him a laugh from everyone around the table.

“It’s probably the white dress,” Mor wiggled her perfect eyebrows at Gwyn.

A flush crept up Gwyn’s cheeks. Not because of the insinuation from the beautiful blond, but because there had been a time where she would have believed everything that they were saying. What a fool she had been. What a stupid, romantic, naive fool.

“Oh that pretty blush is promising,” Nesta teased next to her. “Come on.”

Before she could give any response, Nesta was out of her chair and pulling Gwyn up by the arm. Next to her, Cassian had already pulled a semi-reluctant Azriel out of his seat and was dragging him across the garden towards the small shed.

All words evaded Gwyn. All she could focus on was trying to keep herself together. She could do this. Seven minutes. She would be strong. For seven minutes.

“And no less,” Cassian exclaimed after pushing both her and Azriel in the shed. Gwyn stared at the closed door after the loud click of the lock sounded from outside.

The silence in the small dark place was louder than the faint voices on the other side. It stretched on for what felt like ten times more than seven minutes. Everything was so still around her that despite having her back to him, Gwyn felt Azriel lift his hand and reach towards her.

“Gwy-,”

“Don’t,” she took a step to the side before he could touch her shoulder.

“Gwyn plea-,”

“Don’t,” she said more firmly. Though her next words came out in a whisper. “Please, don’t.”

She turned around and faced him. She begged her heart to keep quiet and pleaded with reason to not abandon her. This situation seemed like a mirror of the last time that they had been in the same room. Suddenly, the last month faded into nothing. Gwyn felt like she was still in his living room, staring into his eyes and wondering why on earth she had ever trusted him. It was pity for herself that she had felt before she had stormed out of his apartment that night.

“Gwyn. Please,” he took a step forward and she took one back. “Let me explain.”

“What I saw was explanation enough,” she snapped.

“It’s not what you think.” His voice was laced with impatience. If she believed in his lies, she would have also discerned hurt in it. But it was probably a bit of wishful thinking from her part.

Gwyn let out a sardonic laugh. “And what would you have thought, Azriel,” she spat his name like it had become the hardest thing for her to say, “if you had seen me doing what you were doing with her.”

He ran a hand through his hair, pulling on the dark strands in frustration like he usually did.

“It was a mistake. A huge, fucking mistake. And I regret every fucking second of it.”

“A mistake...,” Gwyn tasted the word on her tongue. It was the same word he had used that day. That same word that she had turned around and around in her head for the past month while she had thought back on the years that they had spent together.

“This should have never happened, you have to believe me.”

“But it did.”

“It was a fucking mistake.” That godforsaken word again. As if saying it enough times would remove his involvement in the act he had committed. “I swear love, I never wanted to hurt you. She - ”

“She what?” her voice rose above his and made him freeze. “Did she force you to do anything?”

Azriel didn’t react. His silence was answer enough. And when he kept staring at her with those deep hazel eyes that she adored so much, with that same intensity that had made her lose her godsdamned mind so many times since she had first looked into them, her wall crumbled. Her strength to keep it up left her, running away to the darkest corner of the shed along with her resolve to keep her mouth shut.

“I thought that you would be the one to finally make me believe that I deserve this kind of love. But y-you...,” she wasn’t sure what to say except that she had to let out what had been plaguing her mind for a whole month.

“I trusted you. I...”

He took another step towards her but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. She ignored what touching him was doing to her. Ignored that she wasn’t the only one that had touched him and kept talking despite her voice coming out as sobs

“I never forced you to stay with me. You always had a choice. And you chose to hurt me.”

“I didn’t want –,”

“BUT YOU DID,” she shouted.

She didn’t notice the sudden quiet of the voices outside nor did she care. Azriel fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. “Please, my love. This will never happen again.”

Looking at him like this made something twist inside Gwyn. Her whole body was trembling with anger and pain. An endless flow of tears started streaming down her face. How dare he make such empty promises after having ripped her heart out like he did.

“I know you still love me, Gwyn.”

She huffed. “Of course I love you.” There was no point in denying it. “I hate myself for loving you so much.”

Azriel grabbed one of her hands and brought it to his lips. “Please let me fix this. I love you more than anything.”

Another sentence that she had heard back then. As if trust could be fixed by simply snapping one’s fingers. As if those images that had haunted her for an entire month would disappear by simply piling new ones on top.

“If this is your idea of love, then it’s wrong,” she said, slowly removing her hand from his. She closed her eyes as she did so, knowing well that this would be last time she would ever let him touch her. Perhaps the last time she would ever let any man touch her. It seemed impossible in this moment that she would ever trust a man again with her heart. Not when it would always remain with the one kneeling at her feet. The sight was another mockery of the future she had dreamed for them. Another sick and cruel joke of life.

A knock sounded at the door followed by Cassian’s deep voice. “You still decent in there? Time’s over.”

Time wasn’t the only thing that was over. Gwyn was almost at the door when Azriel abruptly stood up and grabbed her wrist. Without even thinking, she turned around and slapped him so hard that the incessant knocking on the door stopped.

Azriel released her wrist and brought his hand to his cheek. His hazel eyes found hers again. His eyes were red and filled with tears, his expression full of something that she refused to acknowledge.

Since she had nothing left to say and so much more tears left to shed, Gwyn turned around and walked out, to somewhere she could mourn the loss of her heart.

[totallynoteggos]

lol hey this is just a vent post abt my life rn I don’t really expect any on u to read this

Tw if you do read this: talk of Anxiety, ppl not understanding neurological limitations, talk of vauge self exit and SH (its very minor) overall vent post shit

Sorry u have to see me in such a shifty mental state but I need to get this off my chest before I resort to violence

Once again, not KND stuff this is a Vent Post

I’m not neurotypical by any means I'm on some spectrum but all we know so far is that I have OCD and Anxiety. Also I'm going into the 9th grade which that In of itself is a stressful situation but in the last four years I've never stayed in the same school so seeing the same people is hella new to me. I have this really bad habit of going no contact with people after the school year is over because I usually never see them again. My mom can't seem to understand that there are simply things I can't do because of the anxiety & OCD (and I'm not using this as a reason to act out or defy her) abt 2 weeks ago we went to get food, now usually I order my food to make sure I get what I like and not have a mixup. And pls notice this was after a week long “vacation” that ended up being stressful and draining. But anyways there was a mixup and I ended up with a burger with all toppings instead of plain, which caused me to panic because I was hungry and stressed before already. And instead of trying to accommodate she stood firm in her beliefs that I need to get over it and just eat the damn burger. And I heavily insisted on not eating it and eating the fries instead. After a argument (and at the instance of my grandma) she bought me another burger and while in line I told her outright that there are some things that I physically can't do or else they send me into a panic. She that said that she “gets that” but I don't have to act out In front of my grandma which she idolized. And now like I said with the whole start of school she's saying “it wont be your best years if you don't let it be your best years” but I don't think she understands that I don't know how to do that. I've moved around a lot and I've been made fun of a lot due to my interests, hobbies and simply just to be the clown. Most of the people I befriend end up getting annoyed or just keep me around until I say something that doesn't make me the dumb and “quirky” one. And like I said I suck at keeping contact and now everyone still has their old friend groups and mine just see me as a joke or weirdo now. Its stressing me out so much and its only been two days, hell yesterday I would have thrown up from the stress but because I was so stressed I didn't eat shit so I didn't throw up. School stresses me out so much it's unimaginable, its the people, the sounds, the halls, the fact that people won't leave you alone, someone always talking or screaming, just please shut the fuck up so I can learn and be out of here. And god its so fucking hard not feeling what everyone else around you feels. My moms getting upset at me for not wanting to go on the busses when I have gone on one and it left 20 fucking minutes from my house cus the lady was screaming and I got scared as was about to cry. And now she wants me to try again with kids I don't fucking know who some how don't know personal space or manners. And back to the emotions things, why the fuck don't I feel the same as them, god I feel so fucking robotic compared to my mother and everybody else but they also make me feel like a god damned mutt. On one hand they think it's weird that I don't want to talk or to Interact but somehow don't realize that it's their fault I don't want to, and on the other hand whenever I'm upset or angry and actually show it its MY fault. Because apparently since I'm the youngest of my family im supposed to have the personality of pinkie pie and I have no problems. And because I'm quiet, friendly or just shy and I'm supposed to control my emotions because I'm a “young lady”. I've tried talking to my mom about home school because my school has that as a option but she says that I can't hide when she's been doing that too. Sometimes I feel like she cares more for the happiness of those she wants to impress rather than that of her family. But god if all of life feels like this then count me out cus its too much to be alive right now. I think ima take a shot or three of night quill and hopefully sleep until ITs to late to go to school

Goodnight

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

WHY IS EVERYONE SAYING GOJO IS ATTRACTED TO OLDER WOMEN???

Gege never said that pls, he said that if he could ever imagine himself as anything other than a jujutsu sorcerer which is a “probably not” and then a freeloader and swallow was mentioned

Where tf is him being attracted to older women mentioned???? Also we can say that it insinuates him being separated from him mother from a young age causing him to have mommy issues AND he needs someone to love and care for him not that he needs an older rich woman

Let’s not forget how there’s so much emphasis on him needing someone to understand him.. An older rich woman is not what he needs…. He’s already filthy dirt rich 🙏

A younger girl can also understand and love and care for him?? Like let’s not make up gojos preferences for age which ironically alot of older women are doing all over social media rn with this tiny piece of information that never specified his preferences

ITS PISSING ME OFF ARIIII HOPE YOU GET ME HERE 💔💔💔

😭😭😭 WELL . honestly i don’t see gojo liking women period in the manga so i might not be the best person to ask here anon……….

hmmmmm honestly i don’t have a problem with people saying he likes older women? it’s seems mostly harmless to me? :3 overall i don’t think he’s the type to fixate on age too much though…

anyway. if you want more info on the interview question then please check out soukatsu’s tweets <33 they went over both terms akutami used to describe gojo, ヒモ and ツバメ!! the former seems to imply a degree of uselessness (freeloader, leech, etc) while the latter is less derogatory and more so just… a younger guy who dates older women + lives off their money. i have zerooo clue if these terms are used only for hetero relationships or if they’re also used for men living off their older bf’s money, and so on, but yeah!! those are the terms :3

if you wanna be reeeally technical and clear cut then i think it’s kinda obvious this is a bit of a troll answer 😭 akutami is basically calling gojo a useless leech in the first part LMAO. but i do think it says something about gojo’s character!! my own take is that when he does fantasize about not being a sorcerer (which, like akutami said - it’s unlikely that he ever does), he fantasizes about being pampered and free from responsibility <3 as he should be!!!!!

as for the mommy issues 👀👀👀 i will always support gojo having them. i think it adds flavour to his character. but i definitely don’t think that’s what akutami was implying with that answer 😭 i doubt gojo thinks about his mother much at all. but the idea of him having a subconscious longing for maternal love is tasty to me… for hurt/comfort purposes….

anyway <3 bottom line, i definitely agree that gojo would need someone who understands him (even if i don’t think anyone really could). when he falls for someone i think he sticks to them no matter what, and i doubt age is a real factor in that :3 don’t get me wrong i do think he deserves a hot sugar daddy boyfriend but that’s just me being me. i really don’t see him caring about age much at all!!!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas!!!

Recently i wrote a poem and decided I loved it and send you an ask with it 2 days ago but i think it got lost or smth.

Little backstory here so I live in a family full of artists and very creative people so sharing my work always made me self concious since I always compared my work with theirs. Turns out I also have a problem with openly sharring my work with others which is a bit of a problem considering I need to do share my work for school. Because of that I've decided to share my poem with someone cause I'm really proud of it but I also want someone to tell me their honest opinion/feedback. So here it is I guess??? Also english is not my first language so sorry if there s any mistakes 🦖

Earth breaking beneth my feet

Hands holding my arms

While pushing me down

Sinking into the ground

Divine paintings flashing before my mind

Their meanings going up my mouth

Watching me choke down all the noble words

Blocking their way out

Only to laugh

As the Devil listens to all the broken sounds

Coming from my eyes

Crimson tears staining my cheeks

Honey dripping from my lips

Straight into a vase near my feet

Angles are gathering the golden liquid

Collectiong memories I missed

Reminding me things I did

That are straining my guilt

People I left forgoten

Are sitting faceless

Waiting for my jugement

God is listening to everyone

Except for me

As I bleed out on a light floor in front of him

Staining red everything I could see

While room fillds with blood

That's comimg from my wounded heart

Drowning me

Ending my tortures

While our outstanding preformance goes on

The capitol's laughing

The kids are dying

But why do I care?

About them when I'm away

Maybe these scary meaningfull portraits

Maybe paintings that left me empty

Are happening somewhere on Earth

Someones mother is dying

But all we do is drink honey

Someones child is fighting

But all we do is play a song

Song of Army Dreamers

And say 'scary things happened years back'

While ignoring the fact

That those things are also happening now

Somehow I made a poem about war with my religious trauma, Kate Bush reference and few Crimson Rivers references. Thats cute. When im rereading it now it seems a bit silly and kinda looks like i tried using 'big words' but i still love it.

Also the way you ate up last Caledenstine(HOW TO WRITE THAT????😭) chapter??? Ate and left no crumbs? Yessir. I support Regs rights and wrongs even if his wrongs are treaky(?) sometimes and make me want to hit him with a paper (just jk i would probably hug him and then make him some good soup)

Losts of love for you and your wife and your cat(s) (pretty sure you have a cat or two but maybe im mixing people???? Prolly should go to sleep but this was more important for me?????) Hope your sleep shedule is better then the rests of the fandom tho you are a teacher, an ao3 writer and a trumble user so its probably not the best while school year but still! 💃All the best ❤️

Hi hon!!! Your original ask was actually next on my list lol but I'm responding to this one because you added some things.

Damn, that ending though.

And say 'scary things happened years back' While ignoring the fact That those things are also happening now

This is SO real, and so poignant. You absolutely should share this with others, it's a very powerful poem. I love the imagery you have throughout. Please don't compare your work to others- art is supposed to be unique, you know?

hahah yeah Reg is in his Rep Era rn I feel. I'll not elaborate more.

My sleep schedule is...well it's 12:30am and I am not planning on sleeping for a while, as I need to edit and then post the next chapter. By the time this ask is posted (I'm scheduling it) the next chapter should be out! yay, summer?

Sending you all the love!

[vivacissimx]

Sitting here on a Sunday morning reading through some of your Aly x Jae parental issues posting and I just got to thinking how Jaehaerys is the way he is due to his complex of "must not be (seen) as weak as his father" but Aenys' weakness was his desperation to be liked TM, which made him too soft TM. But Jae is also "desperate to be liked/for approval TM" (by the homies, by the Faith, etc), it's just the toxic masculinity version of it all.

The integrity of the family is the one thing Aenys wouldn't give up even for that, and the thing Jae serves on a platter almost right away in exchange for what Aenys could not have (starting with sending the mother who saved him and gave him a throne, then fought for having it taken away from him by her own husband, and then sending her to be a proper wife to said husband once all that is done).

Jae is the embodiment of that tweet that goes like: "if you say no to your girl cause you don't want to seem whipped to your boys then don't worry about it cause you're already whipped by the boys" RE dealing with his daddy issues vs family/women in it in particular.

He became so engrossed in this impression/complex that this is some cross of his own alone that he's bearing, that this was all revolved around HIS making, that he becomes blind to the fact that his father's House, in its own flaws, also allowed room for the development of two women that eventually defied Maegor whom anyone else was afraid of, and the wife that made half of his "glorious rule".

NOO I MISSED THIS (as you can see I'm cleaning out my inbox rn) FORGIVE ME

I completely agree naturally. With Jaehaerys unlike Aenys who was a true people-pleaser, there is this feeling that he's "sacrificing" by accommodating the max number of perspectives yet also getting it over on everyone because he uses that goodwill to manipulate out an outcome he desires. "Cross of his own alone" say That! It's kinda funny how Rhaena, Jaehaerys, and Alysanne all thought they were the sacrificial lambs of their trio... but "I totally support XYZ progressive policy but it's just not realistic right now" is absolutely a cop-out Men use & Jaehaerys was definitely of that mind.

On the matter of abolishing First Night:

What the queen proposed would be difficult, Jaehaerys said. Lords grew troublesome when kings began taking things that they regarded as their own.

On Alysanne being attacked while pregnant:

Lord Mooton hanged the guilty, and might have hanged the innocent as well, save for Queen Alysanne’s intervention. Jaehaerys was furious.

Including the last one because Jaehaerys doesn't do anything beyond be mad and in fact it's explicitly Alysanne who pushes forth on both the issues of legislating away First Night & of delivering half-mercy half-justice to those who disapprove of Targaryen incest, two policies which are technically Jaehaerys' but are LOUDLY placed on Alysanne's shoulders. Which is important!!! Because when Jaehaerys needs to be the absolute King who holds All The Power, Rhaena/Alysanne are just extensions of his will: he is. When Jaehaerys needs to navigate unpopular policy through larger social tensions while not losing the favor of his noblemen: well you know, my wife handles that. (See Daella's marriage and Viserra's betrothal when she tries to get Jaehaerys to intercede, lol)

As you pointed out, Alyssa Velaryon is the one who buys Jaehaerys his rebel army in the Baratheons, by fulfilling the expected quid pro quo when she marries Rogar and he initially seizes power through her (you cannot convince me that Rogar was not angling to take Rhaena to wife at first, and Alyssa V spared her that much in part from actual love, in part because it quickly became clear Rhaena would not be taking power herself). In general Alysanne as well as Rhaena do a lot of invisible legwork as well. Like, the comparisons here:

King Jaehaerys descended the Iron Throne and bade Lord Rogar follow him. He led his lordship from the hall to the inner ward where Vermithor was being fed. A bull had been slaughtered for his morning meal and lay upon the stones charred and smoking, for dragons always burn their meat before consuming it. Vermithor was feasting on the flesh, tearing loose great chunks of meat with each bite, but when the king approached with Lord Rogar, the dragon raised his head and gazed at them with eyes like pools of molten bronze. “He grows larger every day,” Jaehaerys said as he scratched the great wyrm under his jaw. “Keep your nieces and your nephews, my lord. Why would I need hostages? I have your word, that is all that I require.” But Grand Maester Benifer heard the words he did not speak. “Every man and maid and child in the stormlands is my hostage, whilst I ride him, His Grace said without saying,” wrote Benifer, “and Lord Rogar heard him plain.”

+

[Rhaena] turned away to kiss her brother on the cheek and embrace her younger sister. The two queens held each other for a long while, it is said, but when the midwife offered Rhaena the newborn babe to hold, she refused. “Where is Rogar?” she asked. She found him below in his great hall with his young son, Boremund, in his lap, surrounded by his brothers and his knights. Rhaena Targaryen pushed through all of them to stand over him, and began to curse him to his face. “Her blood is on your hands,” she raged at him. “[...] She gave you one son, that should have been enough. Save my wife, you should have said, but what are wives to men like you?” Rhaena reached out and grabbed his beard and pulled his face to hers. “Hear this, my lord. Do not think to wed again. Take care of the whelps my mother gave you, my half-brother and half-sister. See that they want for nothing. Do that, and I will let you be. If I should hear even a whisper of your taking some other poor maid to wife, I will make another Harrenhal of Storm’s End, with you and her inside it.”

+

How can my words tell of the grief that swept the Seven Kingdoms then, of the pain felt by King Jaehaerys and Queen Alysanne, of Lady Jocelyn’s empty bed and bitter tears, and the way Princess Rhaenys wept to know that her father would never hold the child she was carrying? Far easier to speak of Prince Baelon’s wroth, and how he came down upon Tarth on Vhagar, howling for vengeance [...] When [Baelon] returned to King’s Landing with his brother’s corpse, the smallfolk lined the streets screaming his name and hailing him as a hero. But it is said that when he saw his mother again, he fell into her arms and wept. “I slew a thousand of them,” he said, “but it will not bring him back.” And the queen stroked his hair and said, “I know, I know.”

Jaehaerys uses Vermithor to communicate what he can't say without seeming... vulgar. He lets Rhaena threaten Rogar (again) while he himself remains outwardly unemotional, even-handed. Alysanne is the one to comfort Baelon such that he can accept Jaehaerys' controversial decree which makes him Prince of Dragonstone.

I am not a Jaehaerys hater per se (actually I really like all the questions he presents) but if we are doing the gender analysis of asoiaf we can't exactly leave this feast untouched on the table! Targaryens complicate gender via incest/non-gendered accessibility to dragons. The "two Targaryen genders" as such are first invented via the split between Rhaena & Jaehaerys, Rhaena being the bad Targaryen who Jaehaerys contrasts against, therefore being the "better" option between. Aenys' effeminacy is mirrored in Alyssa V who Jaehaerys takes power from as the first symbol of his Manhood. Later, Alysanne is used in a similar way. Obviously the emotional realities have nuance and whatever but SOCIALLY speaking everything you've said about the mechanisms is completely correct.

[petrichor-idyllic]

hihi ^^

so i have another request but for spiderman (mcu) where it takes place post no way home, basically fem!reader doesnt end up losing her memory abt peter and she's always been by his side even after everything. But peter thought she would just lose her memory as well so when she finds him one day he gets shocked and emotional and the whole thing's js fluffy, comfort with some hurt/angst

i dont mean to rush or anything cuz u prolly have other reqs😭 but i js came up with this rn and wanted to drop it to u <33

Oh my god, a request not for the Maze Runner??? My time has come. I'm joking, I love writing for TMR, but there is a range of universes I write for on my masterlist and I'm actually thinking of updating it, so keep an eye out :))

LONG TIME COMING

MASTERLIST | PETER PARKER MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Takes place after the events of No Way Home.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, teenage angst and loneliness, sad times.

You'd known Peter Parker your whole life.

You went to the same pre-school, kindergarten, middle school and high school together. You were connected at the hip for life, even when Ned joined in with your little group.

When you and Ned accidentally found out that Peter is Spiderman, neither of you knew how to react or what to do. But, over time, you all got used to it.

Ned used to always tease you because he thought you had a crush on Peter. You always brushed him off and told him he was dumb, until Peter started to crush on MJ. You weren't even bothered when he liked Liz, but that was different.

MJ was like you guys. A loser and a nerd who was smart and sarcastic, and she was gorgeous. Peter loved her, and when they started dating after MJ figured out he was Spiderman, you didn't have a chance.

Then Mysterio leaked Peter's face and he was desperate to change that. Seeking out Doctor Strange and accidentally causing a tear in the Multiverse.

You met his other universe counterparts, and enemies, and everything changed after that.

Peter vanished.

Your best friend for your whole life had disappeared.

But the weird thing was no one seemed to care. No one even remembered him.

MJ, Ned, everyone you went to school with- nothing.

You asked MJ day in, day out, you spoke to Ned about him all the time. But they just thought you were losing your mind or that this boy was someone you'd met and had mistakenly thought you'd introduced.

But you knew Peter. You heard the spell Docter Strange had cast- but you remembered him. Somehow, his spell left you unaffected.

Maybe it was a strange override- you'd known him your whole life, so without Peter, you'd have no memories left. And that would definitely be suspicious. Or maybe it was how close the two of you were, some unspoken rule that you can't forget the one you love most.

Peter was your entire life- he is your entire life.

And now he's gone.

But if Peter taught you anything, it's that you can't give up. He's got to be somewhere in the city, and you're going to keep looking, no matter how big New York may be.

"You're going out again?" You mother stands in the doorway of the living room of your small apartment. You've been fighting with your shoes for the last couple of minutes, accidentally waking her up. "It's very early."

"I have to, Mom, I can't waste any time-"

"I know, I know," she sighs. Your mother is your biggest supporter, but even she is doubtful. "This... boy, your friend that no one remembers- an Avenger, a superhero. You have to find him, but... but, sweetheart, are you sure that-?"

"Yes, I'm sure- no, I'm not losing my mind, even if everyone thinks I am. I'm going to find him, if it's the last thing I do." You put your foot down, standing with your arms crossed.

Your mother sighs. "Okay- but at least wear a coat; it's horrendous out there."

You give her a sheepish smile, then a nod. Grabbing your coat off of the hook in front of your door, you pull it over your shoulders. You open the door, slamming it behind you and taking to the streets, once again.

Darkness still consumes the rougher area you live in, sunlight just starting to peek over the buildings. Your mother was right; the rain beats down on the stone streets, sending a chill through you as it sinks in through your jeans- your coat keeps your upper body dry, though.

You prefer the mornings. It's still quiet, the only people about are coming home from night shifts or having to make early commutes to work. On your days off from work, this is how you spend your time. Walking the streets every chance you can get. Every chance you've had for the last few months.

The only hint you got was when a strange boy came into MJ's work. You just knew it had to be Peter, but you were too busy covering a shift to be there.

As the shops start to open, businesses coming into full swing, the creeping thought that this might be another day wasted starts to take over. You're starting to think you're never going to see him again.

You should've said something. Before him and MJ started dating, you should've realised your feelings sooner and told him how much he meant to you- maybe then he would have come looking for you as well.

You stand outside a corner shop, taking the moment to check your phone. MJ has sent a picture of the view from MIT with Ned in it. You smile. Your friends went to college and whilst you stay in touch, you chose to start working after school to help your mother instead.

And to stay and look for Peter.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Miss," the voice strikes you as you look up. You blink repeatedly like you're imagining it.

Peter stands, having just come out of the shop, a bag of groceries in his hands as he talks to a woman he's just bumped into by mistake. You'd think his Spider Sense would make him less clumsy.

They have a brief interaction, before she slips past him and into the store. And he, of course, holds the door open for her.

"Peter," your voice barely comes out as a croak, watching him adjust his bag to carry it easier. "Peter!" You scream.

He freezes, looking up and meeting your eye as you stand in the pouring rain.

It's him. You can't believe it's him.

"(Y/N)?" He stands in some form of disbelief, completely unable to process that you just said his name.

"Peter!" You move forward, jogging towards him. You throw your arms around him, making him stumble backwards as he stiffens for a second.

In a heartbeat, his shopping scatters to the floor, his strong arms encasing you, pulling you in closer.

"(Y/N), oh my God," he mumbles into your damp hair. He pulls away, his hands on your shoulders as tears threaten to fall from your eyes. "How..? I don't understand- you remember me?"

You nod, frantically. "Of course, I do."

"But... how? How is that possible?"

"I-I don't know," you shake your head, your emotions finally caving as tears roll down your cheeks.

He pulls you back into a hug, clinging onto you like he never has before.

"Why didn't you come and find me?" You sob into his shoulder. "You spoke to MJ and Ned, I know you did." You sniff. "Why didn't you find me?"

"I-I couldn't... it's hard to explain," he sighs, pulling away again. "How about we talk about it somewhere dry, hm? I've got a place not too far away."

You give a stiff nod after a moment's hesitation. "Okay."

Peter's place is somehow worse than yours. It's a shitty one room apartment with a bed, a desk and a kitchen in the same vicinity.

"Nice place," you attempt to joke to break the awkward tension from the mainly silent walk here.

He scoffs in response. "It's not much... but, yanno, it'll do." He takes his jacket it off, hanging it up. "Here, give me your coat." You obey, taking it off and handing it to him for him to do the same.

He sits on the end of his bed. "Guess I better explain why I've not found you, huh?"

"I mean, it'd be appreciated." You rock on your heels, staying where you're stood instead of joining his side.

"I just... I couldn't..." He lets out a deep sigh. "When I saw MJ and Ned in the café, I was almost relieved you weren't there. Standing there and watching them have no idea who I was... hurt. It hurt so much. But it would've been so much worse if you were there. I couldn't bare the thought of looking at you and you not knowing who I was. Looking at me like I'm a complete stranger- I could handle MJ and Ned," he pauses, looking at you as you step closer.

Standing in front of him, he reaches for your hands, taking them in his and playing with the old ring he gave you as a birthday gift. He smiles slightly, the fact you still wear it warming him.

"But, I couldn't handle it with you." He looks up. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't face you as a stranger. My (Y/N) looking at me like I don't know anything -everything- about her?" He shakes his head, pushing his lips into a thin line. "I just... couldn't."

"I remember you. You should've."

He snorts. "Yeah, well, I know that now, don't I? You found me instead. Guess you've learnt something from me."

"Not really," you scoff. "I looked for you. Everyday for months since you vanished. I felt crazy- everyone thinks I'm losing my mind. But I knew I wasn't; I had to find you."

"I can't believe the spell didn't work on you," he chuckles lightly, and you grin, laughing too,in disbelief more than anything.

"Must be special," you joke, giving him a mischievous grin.

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I coulda told ya that."

Your face suddenly becomes serious. All of your feelings for Peter flooding back in the damn breaks. It's rolling over in your mind. You swore you would tell him how you felt when you found him, that you should've done it earlier.

But now, him sitting in front of you, still playing with your fingers like they're a fidget toy, you don't know if you can.

"Hey," his voice is soft, easily able to see the internal anguish you're facing. "I know that face," he nudges you, letting his hands fall to his sides. "What's wrong?"

You shake your head, taking in a deep breath. "You know, when I lost you, I thought over and over what I'd say when I found you again. And..." You trail off.

"And what? You can tell me anything, that hasn't changed."

"I know," you huff, "and I know that you're probably still in love with MJ, and I get that but... screw it, I have to tell you. I like you. More than just a friend, and it shouldn't have taken you getting a girlfriend and vanishing off of the face of the Earth for me to realise."

You look at him, in the eyes, his expression is blank but you keep going.

"I love you, Peter Parker. And I think I always have."

"You... love me?"

"You don't have to love me back. I get it, but I just had to tell you just in case I don't get another chance and lose you again."

He laughs.

Like, he actually laughs at you, making you feel even more insecure.

"What? Why are you..? Okay, it's not that funny, asshole."

"I'm not.." He grins, leaning forward before standing up, making you step back. "I've had a crush on you since we were five. I've wanted you for as long as I can remember, but I figured you didn't feel the same- I mean, you didn't act like you did. So, I tried pushing it down, dating other girls. A-and MJ meant a lot to me, but there's a reason you were the person I couldn't face."

His hand comes to your face, cupping your cheek and lifting your head to look more at him. "It's just funny because I... well, I have always loved you- and I think I probably always will."

You can hear your heartbeat in your ears, heat flushing your body as you step closer to him. Your noses brush, glancing at his lips before he fully leans in.

Your lips connect. Your hands pull on his damp shirt, his coming to your waist. You want to kiss him forever, feel him every chance you get. The heat quickly becomes more heated, the loneliness he felt washing away and the anxiety you had vanishing.

He's here.

And he's yours.

You're interrupted when your ringtone goes off.

"Sorry," you mumble as you pull away, pulling your phone out of your pocket and reading the name flashing up on your screen. "Shit, it's my Mom. Do you mind..?"

"No," he clears his throat, stepping back "'course not.

You pick up. "(Y/N)? Where are you? I've been texting you non-stop. You know I get worried when you-"

"Mom," you cut her off and she stops talking as a beat skips.

"...You found him, didn't you?" Her voice is almost happy for you, relief audibly filling her.

Yooo, this was actually very fun to write and I very much enjoyed writing for the mcu for a change.

"Yeah," you squeak, emotions once again getting the best of you, "I found him."

I have a fair few requests in atm so new requests may take a while for me to get to, but I will try to get through them ASAP.

I know most of you follow me for TMR content, but I hope you enjoyed something a bit different :))