#'but i had to do it it's all uncle's fault'
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
who those who don't know: discord was blocked by roskomnadzor (aka roskompozor aka the government's nose poking into media & net business) youtube is "slowed down" / blocked too btw goodbye dpi may not be working (at all) for some providers like rostelekom (besides, it tries to block many vpns as well) fyi, blocking sites is beneficial for the government: they do not need ppl to have the full picture on the things, they dont want different opinions and alternative sources of info, for obvious reasons. needless to say, many use youtube as a source of education (free programming, cooking, 3d modeling, drawing and other lessons for example, some even learned how to fix devices from there, etc)
"why cant you just leave" 1) shut up 2) most of people here cant afford moving to elsewhere "why dont you protest" 1) people who try to protest usually end up in prisons or dead or dead in prisons 2) people are afraid "it's all your fault you elected your own government" 1) we did't elect anyone (can tell for sure my generation (born in 80s & 90s) def didnt get to elect at all). elections here are a fake shitshow created to lick you know who's ass. 2) supporting collective responsibility is going to kick you in the ass in the nearest future. nuff said. by the way, no one even bothers to, at least, play pretend they care about simple ppl's opinions anymore. not even on fucking tv channels. they just made a statement on the thing already happening in 2k22, didnt even set up any of those fake polls. apparently it was all planned long before 14s or something. in 90s a group of criminals used the situation of chaos and starvation to their advange and took over the government. they are staying and not going to uncling from our country any time soon. for legal reasons and just in case: everything i wrote here is a description of a dream i had, everything mentioned here is fictional and any sort of coincidences matching with/ reminding of reality are accidental
Discord is officially blocked in Russia
anti-DPI programs can handle Discord here's Goodbye DPI w/ GUI here's ByeDPI, possibly nicest solution for Android other variants can be found here
regarding VPNs - Windscribe is still the real one, w/ non-standard protocols and special "hostile network" switch, one problem though - limited traffic, so you most likely have to juggle it w/ some noname VPN apps or proxy add-ons
note that it's illegal in Russia to talk about blocks circumvention, so if you don't live in Russia, please share this post, so your followers, who live there could see it and use it
#vpn stuff#polictics shit#replies on this one are such a fuss#also glad to know brainwashed kiddos are the minority for a change
26K notes
·
View notes
Note
I'll say it, I really liked Field of Revenge especially from a villain perspective. Cause for one, it's a heartbreaking chapter/battle especially if you're BL fan (granted you can mitigate that by recruiting but let's assume you don't). And second, it shows Supreme Leader at her probably most villainous with her emotional warfare i.e victim blaming, and basically deciding to spare no one. The King of Delusion scene is infuriating but in a "omg, she's dastardly" way.
Oh!
Yeah, I loved it because even if this was the first route I played, I was left with the impression that bar "wow am I supposed to know those characters?" the map conveyed what the narration had been hammering - no matter what, Supreme Leader and pals will break through to reach their goals, even if it means killing named characters I'm supposed to be sad about.
After playing the other routes -
It's again even more wonderful, because we have the "uwu don't want to kill her uwu" options in dialogues, but when it's her turn to apparently get this option, we have "Dimitri must die" and all of his generals with him (iirc this is a rout mission?).
"no u" also lampshades how Dimitri tries to understand why the frick he is being invaded, and why this war is happening, and just why the fuck he has to fight - but Supreme Leader doesn't bother explaining anything to him. Even when he is on his knees, she beheads him, after asking Hubert to give her an onion to get a few tears and goes "if only we were born in a world of peace" when, uh, she just beheaded him a few seconds ago when he was at her mercy, and specifically ordered at the beginning of the map to kill him.
Even Rhea, who is PTSD'ing hard (she brought back Seiros the Warrior's costume!) comes to regret having to fight like this - of course not because Supreme Leader's character, but because she's Willy's scion - but Supreme Leader dgaf, gives a Supreme Reply (tm) and off with her head (ah wait, it's in the next chapter).
Her interactions in this chapter are great, we play through the tonal dissonance - which is why Supreme Leader, only when everyone is dead (and Rhea retreated), contemplates the futility of Dimitri's death, blaming it on Uncle and how she wished things could have turned out differently...
Just after playing a chapter where she ignores and/or straight out refuses to be plays a different script than the one she gave at the beginning.
That's what I find fascinating and like about her character, she can say X to her "trusted" ones in private, but say Y in public - even if we all know, since we were privy to the "private" exchange that she wants to do X.
This is again shown in the next chapter - to Billy, Supreme Leader says she wants to obliterate Nabateans - but when her army is all around, she asks Rhea to surrender.
Is it only for PR? Is it to gain Billy's trust? Is she ever telling the "truthful truth" of what she wants to anyone (save for Hubert)?
IIRC some people made more detailled posts on the safflower (the flower of CF?) but I don't remember them that well.
Tl; dr : that chapter rocks.
#anon#replies#this is the chapter where if you don't recruit anyone you have real consequences from your actions#if the invasion of derdriu wasn't clear enough#now you're killing people who are defending their home#finally stakes and no over cooked steaks!#everyone during the fight 'express sadness regret and anger at having to fight'#Supreme Leader when everyone is finally dead or gone 'ah sure i am very sad look i'm crying if only dimitri didn't have to die'#'but i had to do it it's all uncle's fault'#and the parallel with the last chapter of AM? golden#FE16
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fellas? We ain't okay over here.
#I feel like shit#Still#I mean like... What else do I even feel right now#I thought my grandpa was the that offered me a place to stay#And last night he told me he was doing just fine before I moved in.#Like I even had a goddamn choice in the matter#Like it was either here or the fucking streets in my mind by that point.#And I wasn't even the one that called him it was my mother#So I don't understand how the hell this is even my fault.#And I'm the burden because I didn't have a choice on where to go???#Like I'm sorry I eat food?????? Is that the problem?????????#Because that's all I really do. I'm not breaking anything#That's my uncle. He's breaking shit all the time.#I eat the food he makes.#He asks me to do something and I do it.#I keep quiet and stay out of his way.#So the one fucking time I vent my frustration about my stuff it's like... I'm the burden now??? And my uncle isn't???????#My uncle is the one that's fucking 50 and still living here.#My uncle is putting shoes in the microwave#He's breaking the washers. He broke 2 actually.#The only thing I can think of is that I've just got 4 different things going on with my psychology#So he has to drive me to all sorts of appointments#And like... I'm sorry I was born with autism????#I'm sorry I was born with ADHD????#I'm sorry I was born with a mood disorder that makes me cry a fuck ton????#I'm sorry that after years of your daughter abusing me that I have anxiety????#Like none of that shits my fault#It's not like these things are contagious or that I can force my body to have these issues.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wow I’m alive huh?
#I think im settled in my art style for now btw?? I think it’s cute#also I have never drawn vio before AT ALL which is a crime but it also means I didn’t capture his vibe quite right#in high school he’s probably a stoner guy but he’s also a soccer player so. had to make him mildly jock-ish#also yes tk and vio couldn’t have their dyed hair at this point I know but I can dream#maybe it’s temp dye in the summer or something#peter is also not as skinny as I would’ve liked but im gonna excuse that by saying raine and their family fed him up during his stay#ALSO FAT LUCY SUPREMACY SHE LOOKS HOT LIKE THIS IDC WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS!!!!!!!#anyway. what were my tags again hold on-#minors dni#minors do not interact#your boyfriend au#goth and thembo#your boyfriend peter#your boyfriend tk#your boyfriend lucy#your boyfriend vio#your boyfriend sona#raine my beloved <3#I missed drawing these guys. maybe this time i’ll draw more than just peter and raine#btw if these outfits aren’t very early 2010’s ish ummmm it’s because I was 7 years old at the time irl and my only memories are from my-#-gay stoner uncle who was a teen at the time so any fashion sense I have for that time period is his fault
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Love the discussions around this, and I wanted to weigh in.
The other thing to note about Octavia’s upbringing is that while it’s true she was showered with constant love and affection…she seemed to have gotten that love and affection from Stolas exclusively.
All her best memories are with him, and only him, and maybe the occasional moment with her mom. Octavia has no friends and no close family relationships with anyone else but Stolas.
Just as much as Octavia was Stolas’s whole world before Blitz came along, Stolas was also Octavia’s whole world. Then Blitz came along and that world imploded.
From what I can gather, Stolas and Octavia leaned on each other to an unhealthy degree due to their shit situation, and when you’ve been stuck in such a situation like that you’re whole life, someone trying to break out of will feel like a betrayal.
So to Octavia, a parent finding an identity outside of being a parent and disentangling himself from her is going to wreck her because to her, they were in this together and now he wants to leave her behind to deal with it alone.
Stolas’s biggest fault with Octavia is not communicating with her what was actually happening and not trusting her with the truth. He left her in the dark to draw the wrong conclusions because he thought he was protecting her.
But Octavia is almost 18, she can handle the truth, and has probably been able to handle the truth for longer than Stolas gave her credit for.
What she couldn’t handle was another lie and another broken promise, and through her eyes, Stolas broke that promise three times already and she won’t give him the chance to do it again.
So what does a sheltered teenager who has been seemingly been betrayed by the only person who ever loved her and has never learned how to see beyond her own hurt?
She self-destructs. She burns that bridge with her dad before he can do it himself (how very Blitz of you, Via).
While that scene was an incredibly sad moment for Stolas, and I feel for him greatly…I am actually way more worried for Octavia.
Because as shitty of a situation Stolas is in right now, he has a community with Blitz, with Loona, and then with Millie and Moxxie.
Octavia has no one. She has frozen herself out of his life and is trapped in a palace with an abusive mother and an equally terrible uncle, both of whom have the power to subject her to everything Stolas had tried to shield her from.
Octavia is most likely going to be thrown right into the fire next season and I hope more people can understand and feel for what is going to be a really shitty time for this girl.
Maybe this is obvious, but I feel like it's important to remember that Via is just as sheltered as Stolas has been, with regard to the outside world.
Like, it's very clear from Sinsmas that Stolas had no idea how non-royals live. If you asked him before Mastermind, I doubt he could have envisioned a life for himself outside of the palace walls.
So of course Via is having trouble envisioning herself in Stolas’s life now! She doesn't know how incredibly inhospitable Stolas’s existence in the palace was, and she doesn't understand that his only chance to truly live is outside those confines.
The palace is all she's ever known; to her, that is life, and Stolas removing himself from that sphere is synonymous with leaving her behind. Unlike Blitz, she simply can't fathom a life that looks so, so different from what she's always had.
Stolas did his utmost to provide her with stability throughout her childhood, even at the cost of his happiness and her understanding. Of course she feels like her whole world is crumbling right now, and all she can see is that Stolas, who had been that pillar of stability for her for so long, has let go.
I'm not saying Stolas never did anything wrong, or that Via’s feelings are unjustified. They're both in such difficult, painful positions right now and will have to work hard to understand each other, and that is such an exciting thing to look forward to in the rest of the show
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad
#first of all...... treat kids with the grace + patience you wish you had been given when you were one. just. in general#second.....#god forbid a 16 year old have flaws...! especially when part of the boisterous energy is because she is masking#she has a very strong love for her home to the point she's gone into unknown territory#entirely in over her head! but she refuses to give up#it's an interesting way to look at how patriotism can affect a person when you look at the differing views of protecting wutai that her and#godo have. i'm so interested to see how 'a miserable daughter's homecoming' is gonna go in remake pt 3#given that we know they want to expand on wutai more than they could in the OG#remake intermission as well has been rolling around in my head bc i think its interesting that sonon still wants godo to be respected but#yuffie very much is like. nah fuck that old drunkard idgaf. at least thats how it comes across#i've always felt like the kleptomania was allowed to bloom because she didn't receive enough care or support on top of the patriotism from#young age... so the intermission dialogue makes me wonder if we'll delve into that potentially being the truth in part 3#anyway... rebirth gave such good yuffie + party sibling moments im excited to get more in part 3#especially with vincent because they're one of the funniest not-quite uncle and niece combos#yuffie ringing vincent post-AC and then he goes to cloud like 'tell her that's illegal' instead of just replying to her normally 💀funny af#pettiness off the charts. i adore their 'i do care about you greatly but i'd also sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip' dynamic#ultimately you like and dislike whatever characters#but its always worth looking past the surface level. you may discover that the layers have a unique charm to them#and if the charms don't appeal after that? well at least you now have a better understanding of the character. win/win#god knows i've tried to like characters and came out of diving into their facets -still- not liking them. but more often than not it#gives me some new appreciation of the character. because the depth is there you just have to put the effort in to connect the dots#(this was spurred on by brainless takes i saw in general chat of a public discord. yes i know. my own fault for looking in a godless place)#these tags are 2 short to add proper nuance to my thoughts but you get the idea. this has been my once in a blue moon ramble post o7#might delete later i just wanted the thoughts expelled teehee <3
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Parasocial relationships are bad” “it’s not creators’ responsibility to cater to your feelings”
I genuinely am still heartbroken three years later about finding out what an awful human Shane Dawson was and is and I truly still feel angry and betrayed by him and I don’t give a shit if it is parasocial.
#yes it’s not their responsibility but shane made an effort to connect with depressed fans and fans with EDs and was a role model#and he took our naivety from being fucking 14 and abused it#I felt truly understood by him and he gave me hope that it was going to get better#I don’t give a shit if it’s my fault for being emotionally attached#I was fucking 12-15#his personality is all fake if you watch his videos now#(I watch them through Jake Doolittle who makes fun of it and helps me not give shane a view)#he makes fun of being cancelled he didn’t learn a single fucking thing#and in just a few days I watched one of my role models be revealed to have such a sick and twisted past that he never took responsibility#for and continued to profit off it until he was called out#he catered to vulnerable children he called himself the uncle of youtube#to have that history and not learning from it yet still portraying yourself as this wise gentle father figure to vulnerable kids is fucking#evil#yes it’s not his fault I had such a one sided relationship#but you can’t tell me he didn’t feed into relationships like the one I had when I was 14#he interacted with the phandom for fucking views and to get the phandom on his side#phandom at this time was an average age of 12-16#he knew what he was doing and I hate him till this day for it#rae’s rambles
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that so many child abuse laws are like "its not child abuse unless it leaves a lasting mark" is so fucking crazy to me. You can hit a kid as long as your fists weren't closed and you hit them light enough
#It's actually so hard for someone to be convicted of child abuse. especially if what happened is under the guise of ''discipline''#yeah the kid was fighting me so its not MY fault that he hit his head and arm on a counter and was also on edge of having a panic attack.#this is the proper reaction to a kid being guilty of talking back and being bossy - my uncle#also my uncle: I've never been found guilty under the law for child abuse. you are wrong. also you are the one needing to grow up bc somehow#I'm circling this conversation about you assaulting me over thinking something bad was happening to your brother back around to the fact you#are still living with me#its so funny to me bc even if I did try to leave my mom would try to stop me lmao. ''you're mom is enabling your lifestyle for some reason''#my dude. my mom is ENFORCING this lifestyle. not to mention when you were shaming me for how old I was and still living here...you got my#age wrong??? do your research before talking to me.#literally told me I had no goals or plans for the future. lmao even. he only ever talks to me to tell me that he wants me out#quickly! name 8 interests I have that I did not have while in elementary school!!!#like I'm so mad. at least I can revel in the fact that my uncle was such a pussy you didn't commit to calling the police on me when he said#he would lmao. I can also revel in the fact that he fucking hates it here and tries to avoid being home. and that hes failing at parenting#his own children. I'm sorry brenna. I mean no slander. but you sneaking around and being found out about it and that all the adults knew#about it before he did thus making him look bad is so satisfying. its like watching him judging his gf and my mom for being bad parents#while his kids do much worse things (in his eyes) so fucking poetic#I'm sorry for going batshit crazy in the tags. I am. venting#tw child abuse
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
it actually makes me so angry that people are not there for you the way you need them but in a way that wants to make them feel good
#i'm pissed my friend just came to visit me at midnight on her way home bc she's leaving for california when i told her not to come#*she's leaving for california tomorrow#my uncle had to be taken to the hospital over the weekend and has been on the ventilator and she didn't call me at all to check in on how i#was doing and sent a text super late with a general how are you text because i've also been working on my qualifying exams#and i told her that was i was surprised she hadn't called me then and she said she was trying to give me my space (???????????)#meanwhile i've been dealing with stupid roommate drama and she knows that it wouldn't be ok for her to come and told her multiple times not#to and she thought i was being polite or something? when i said 'i literally do not want you to come'#there's actually been so much shit going on in my life and instead of coming when i needed you you're coming now that you have no other#time to come. i needed her this whole time and she's just been unavailable and socializing with other people and otherwise preoccupied#i do not need you to come at midnight to show me that you care it feels so disengenous#meanwhile while she was doing her phd apps i was literally glued to her side read her drafts was there for her emotionally was there#IN THE MOMENT as she was submitting them and even when she was finding out from programs and i was upset with her i was following up with#her and calling her every day. i really hate everything#i'm writing all this because i'm angry and i'm angry that i feel guilty for being upset with her when she just came over even though#i literally told her i didn't want her to come and suddenly it feels like it's my fault even though i know it's not#even today while she was on the phone she was just talking about shit going on in her life maybe to fill in the space that i wasn't filling#but like are you serious?#god i'm so upset i already can't concentrate on my work
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know that “do it out of spite” for academic achieving women is considered iconic but its so daunting. i’m hardly motivated and have the attention span of a goldfish but i’ve been trying to push myself anyway and have been barely making any progress (like 10% progress when 100% daily is like average) when i know i have the potential to do twice as much as the average person, or at least i used to. i don’t have much time left either.
i met the reason i’m doing it out of spite last week, my childhood bully. as she never openly admitted to anything she’d done and pretends to be just a childhood friend, we have a cordial relationship but anyone with a pair of eyes can sense the tension. she’s also a distant family friend, and though my family mainly cut contact with her’s after all the bullying and shit, i see her every couple of years or so.
she got into USC. she’s probably going to become a doctor in the future. she and her sisters tried to pretend she got in straight after high school, but i know she transferred bc she took the exit exam sophomore year. USC isn’t child’s play. i know they look down on me for attempting to enter a uni out of the country even though its a quicker process and still challenging, but what if i don’t get in? they don’t know this but this is my second attempt. i got my diploma a year early and attempted the exam once before and missed by 8 points.
i don’t know if my spite can fuel me any longer. what if my desire to end up better than the girl who ruined my entire childhood isn’t enough to motivate me into creating my success? i’ve always been obsessed with the perfect balance of revenge, evident in the many revenge-themed novels and comics i read and i’m not ready to accept the fact that thats rarely the case. people don’t get their perfect revenge. i was so sure it was real. whenever my dad would beat me, he would immediately face issues at work which would miraculously fix themselves once he’d apologized. people who’d say things about me behind my back would immediately bump into something or get hurt. maybe it’s the tiny things where god and the universe would be by my side, but will things work out where it really matters? i’m not so sure any more... i’ll never be better. i’ll never make her regret what she did. i’ll never make her wish she could turn back time and not isolate and bully the six year old who was so excited to see her family friend in a sea of unfamiliar faces at her new school until they were teenagers.
the perfect balance was always so important to me. i was basically obsessed with it. i had the predisposed notion that if someone had an awful home life, they’d have an amazing social life. if they had an amazing home life AND an amazing social life, they probably had financial issues or weren’t too intelligent. but i had a shitty home life and an awful, lonely school life since i was like six. we were never poor and are well-off enough even to american standards today, but back then my parents saved every penny but i guess they never made us feel poor. i was very intelligent and fine health-wise, despite the chronic headaches that have only gotten worse. but back then, the main holy balance was either a good home life with parents who don’t hit or yell at you for trivial reasons and aren’t extremely fucking strict and a school life with no bullies or isolation and a bunch of fun unique friends who hung out all the time and even outside of school, whose groupchats are never dull. my dream was to have an average balance on the scale. kind, slightly neglectful parents that i had the luxury of missing and a couple friends i could trust. lol i was pretty naive. my parents are nice now but still incredibly strict. i don’t really have any friends at all, unless you count the passive kind that i still love but never really talk to. i’m also not a genius anymore.
i should be better now. i’m not bullied anymore. my household isn’t abusive anymore. heck, they even apologized. (yes, it’s a big deal. i never thought they’d do that) it’s been so, so many months since i’ve been slapped and they get me all the little things i want too. we’ve settled into the facade of the perfect family quite well :) but i still can’t seem to focus or learn. it’s like all my energy and excitement has been sucked away from me before i even had the chance to reach eighteen. i’m sure nobody’s actually reading this lol especially not up till here but i’m so so scared i’ll never get to be anything and will end up being an average person arranged to marry some average guy and raise his children while cursing myself and my bully and complaining to anyone who will spare a second to listen about how shitty my life is and how it’s not my fault but her’s. i really hope i won’t be forced to watch her live my dreams and think about how much of a failure i am forever. still, i can’t seem to push myself to do anything to change the trajectory of my life. i’n not going to fail and then blame others for it. i’m going to have to succeed and make her wish she was my friend. i’m going to live the life of my dreams idc. (iA)
i’m going to study some more now
#do it out of spite#ok i think i was going somewhere but then i just started ranting lol#also content warning bc we have some tough topics#idc if i come off as obsessed but that was like the darkest point of my life even though it was just the beginning#it lasted for like 8 years man and i still have issues#idk i remember when i spilled a glass of water when i was at my grandpa's house and started panicking and ran to get a tissue#it was like 50 ft away cause massive house and rushed back and they were all like chill#its no big deal#even though my grandpa is so grumpy 1 hater just like me :)#and i think my grandpa aunt and uncle were all looking at me with so much pity it was a bit embarassing lol#and my mom was almost embarrassed lol#its not her fault obvi theres someone else to blame#bbygirls never yelled at me for spilling some water#even though that was like a year ago i kinda had a realization that this wasn't any way to be living#life's better now#albeit monotone#praying it only gets better from here on out#rant#academic validation#academic achievement#overachiever#burnt out gifted kid#burnt out
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
if y’all want a taste of how shit my day was today:
brother: are those [plant] too?
me: yes
brother: *angry* why did you answer like that? i asked you a normal question.
me: *on the edge of brother-induced tears for the past ten minutes* …and i gave you a normal answer?
brother: no, your tone was wrong. you sounded exasperated.
gee, why the fuck would that be?!
#i have another story of fuckery but i hav had no energy all pm#because when we got home my bro got his laptop my dad put on a movie and mom and i made lunch#oh wait bro had a coffee meanwhile too#while he y’know waited#and after lunch my bro got his laptop and dad got his tv show and meanwhile mom and i cleaned up the table and kitchen#and bro had another coffee and mom and i set up a sweets tray#and i handwashed gym clothes while they had sweets#and then uncle came by to drop a treat and i sat there with everyone until he left#when all i wanted was to put my feet up and see if they!d stop hurting#(they haven’t)#randomness#anyway the post example isn’t even him at his meanest#oh no wait i remember why he made me cry#there was a learner’s permit car in front of us#bro asked if mine had expired#which yes. you know this. it’s been like…8 years since it expired#and he asks how it’s renewed#mom tells him of the physical tests with the weird joysticks to test handeye coordination#i say how the first and only time i did the test it took me a few minutes of actual Foing the Test to realize the handles moved#independently per hand and how i wished the dr had better explained how the test was done#y’know. basic stuff. like this is how you hold it this is what we want you to do and this is how it works#like me eye field of vision tests are stupid simple in comparison but they always clearly explain what to expect#and what you have to do and how even if it’s as simple as clucking a button#well my brother starts railing at me about see how you always blame others for your failures it’s always someone else’s fault#and just??. if a dr is giving you a test which requires your response…is it o much to ask#to be told how to fucking use the machine you’re being asked to respind with?#and then i got upset and frustrated at brother putting words in my mouth#(i never blamed the dr for any sort of shit result! i never said there was one! i just said i got sat in front of a machine and told to#work it! without being told how!#) and then he was angry at me for beung upset!
0 notes
Text
The Bolter
Sirius Black x fem!reader who meet again [5.5k words]
prompt: poly!wolfstar or just Sirius x reader in which they were friends with benefits but it was obvious they loved each other even though they acted like they weren’t. Then, reader finds out shes pregnant and before telling them, they do something stupid. so reader runs away for a few months. When she comes back (only bc she had to for some reason) shes like 6-7 months pregnant
CW: secret pregnancy, angst, FWB to strangers to lovers, second chance fic, post war trauma, both Sirius and reader are meeesssssssssssyyyyy in this! I don't approve of what they've done but I understand it
“So…she’s coming back?” Sirius asked cautiously, focusing more on the condensation pooling on the coaster underneath his pint than the concerned gazes of his two best friends.
“Well, I don’t know if she’s coming back, but she’ll be here for Harry’s birthday.” James mollified, sharing a nervous look with Remus.
“Right.” Sirius murmured around a swallow; throat tight and dry though neither the pint nor the pitcher of water in front of him looked as though they’d be able to help him with the matter.
“Are you going to be alright?” Remus queried, and Sirius offered him the most arrogant scoff he could muster; he missed by a long shot.
“Of course I’m going to be alright.” He huffed. “Why? Can’t two friends see each other after five and a half months of silence?”
“Sirius-” James started, but Sirius carried on.
“She’s the only one who’s been silent, you know?” Though he knew that they did indeed both know. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried reaching out.”
“Pads.” Remus offered consolingly, looking frustratingly like he was going to reach a hand out to Sirius as if he were some over tired toddler on the brink of a meltdown.
“Stop, no I- I’m fine, honest.” He insisted as he took a steadying breath. “I- you… talked to her, then?”
James and Remus shared another look before James allowed the segue.
“Mostly by owl, but she has spoken on the phone with Lily a few times.”
Sirius nodded as he considered this; considered the number of owls Sirius had sent that had gone unanswered - perhaps even unopened if the silence meant anything at all.
“She’s…okay?”
Remus let out a sigh as he shot Sirius a tight smile that looked more like a grimace. “She’s…vague.”
“She doesn’t share a whole lot.” James agreed. “Says she’s fine, things are good. Mostly asks about…all of us, Harry.”
“She’s still staying with that great aunt,” Remus added, “helping her with the property.”
“She seeing anyone?” There was no point in pretending that wasn’t the most pressing matter in Sirius’ mind; of course it was. And as angry and bitter as the idea made Sirius, it would have been his own fault, his own doing. He had no one to blame but himself.
And he’d have to live the rest of his life knowing he was the one who let you slip away - pushed you away - right into the arms of someone else.
“Not that she’s mentioned.” Remus responded honestly; he couldn’t say for sure that you weren’t, but if you were, you clearly hadn’t said anything about it.
“Right.” Sirius offered shortly.
“Pads, I…we would understand if it's too hard for you to see her. If you can’t come-”
“Don’t be daft.” Sirius scoffed deploringly. “I’m not going to miss my godson’s birthday. If anyone should be missing it, it should be her; I’ve been here for the past four and a half months, she’s the one who fucked off for good.”
“Sirius-”
“I don’t understand why you had to invite her!” Sirius shouted then, startling even himself when he realised how breathless he sounded all of a sudden.
James smiled at him sadly; Sirius wished he’d stop doing that. “We wanted all of Harry’s uncles and his aunt to be there, Sirius…it’s important, yeah? We…we almost didn’t get this chance.”
Sirius could feel a wicked migraine coming on; between talking about you, the close calls and the fact that the group of you were all alive following the war by nothing but chance, and the fact that the person Sirius was most angry with was himself, he downed the rest of his pint and flagged the server in favour of having to look at the pitiful gazes being shot at him by Remus and James.
Sirius couldn’t tell if he was eager for Harry’s second birthday or dreading it. But like it or not, Sirius was going to be seeing you again.
It had felt like a good idea at the time.
It felt beyond foolish now, but it had felt like a good idea at the time.
*ೃ༄.ೃ࿐
“Sirius, we just won. We just won, why do you have to leave now?” You practically begged as you followed Sirius through his flat.
“Because if I don’t get out now, I’m going to be stuck here for eternity.” He all but spat at you as he shoved articles of clothing into his duffle rather haphazardly. You felt like grabbing the bag from him and folding them properly if the act wouldn’t leave you feeling like you were aiding and abetting his abandoning you.
“But what about James? And Remus? What about Harry? You fought this war for them, and they for you - we just got them back!”
“And they’ll be here when I’m ready to come home!” Sirius shouted; turning to look at you with wild, red rimmed eyes.
“What about me?” You asked quietly, hating how small you sounded.
“What about you?” He asked; face falling painfully neutral. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought he was occluding.
“I…I don’t know.” You started awkwardly, shrugging one shoulder. “I thought…maybe we’d have a chance now. To try?.”
“Y/N.” Sirius sighed as he rubbed harshly at his eyes; entire being oozed exhaustion at having to have this conversation with you. “Have I not been entirely clear about what this was between us?”
“Right.” You agreed quickly, biting roughly on your lip and looking anywhere but at him as he let his hand fall away from his face.
“It’s…it’s not you, doll-” but even your humourless scoff didn’t derail him “I’m not the kind to settle down and be content I- I wouldn’t be enough for you.”
“I’m not asking you for any more than what we have, Sirius-”
“Yes you are.”
“-I just want you to stay.”
“That’s too much for me.” He stated; his voice never raised though he may as well have screamed it at you. “I cannot sit here and play house, I cannot be that guy for you.”
“Cannot or will not?” You asked quietly, regretting the question the second it came out of your mouth and he looked at you with nothing but pity in his eyes.
“Y/N…”
“I’m sorry I asked.” You let out with a chuckle as you harshly wiped tears from under your eyes.
“It’s…it’s not forever, yeah? I just…I can’t see myself being happy here…not right now, at least; not for a while.”
“Where will you go?” Your voice grated painfully as it came out, but you tried to keep an air of nonchalance about you. You wouldn’t look at him, but you could see his shoulders shrug helplessly.
“I don’t know…everywhere. Anywhere.”
Anywhere was better than stuck here with you, apparently.
“I hope it’s nice, wherever it is.” You offered, and you found that you meant it. As much as it hurt to say, you really, really meant it. Sirius had been fighting and running his entire life, and he finally won. If he wanted to celebrate his victory by taking off to be that rich, vague uncle who popped by with lavish gifts every so often, who were you to deny him?
You loved him.
You were in love with him.
You loved him enough to let him go.
*ೃ༄.ೃ࿐
He had sent James a postcard a few weeks later. Turns out he started in the South of France; his family had a home there that had been left untouched by the war, and Sirius was going to start by figuring out what to do with the property.
And you? Well, you found out you were pregnant.
You suppose it was a small mercy that Sirius wasn’t here to know; you’re sure it would have hurt more hearing him tell you he was leaving if there were two of you he couldn’t find it in him to love. You would have hated it even more if he felt trapped into staying with you just for this.
But all this meant was that you couldn’t stay, either.
You supposed that was alright, though; the life you wanted to build here was with Sirius. You loved your friends, but you had a little one to think about now, too.
You made up a story about a great aunt needing help tending to her property and wishing to be closer to your relatives now that you could be, now that it was safe. No one questioned it, likely because Remus had done the same following the war; moving back home to help his dad and ailing mother tend the property in whatever ways he could.
You found yourself a little cottage, you wrote to the boys and had the occasional phone call with Lily, and you grew.
It had felt like a good idea at the time.
But now you were almost six months pregnant and returning home for the first time since you moved to celebrate your nephew’s birthday with all of your closest friends, the love of your life whose child you were carrying, and none of them knew.
You wondered if you should even go, but the thought of missing out on sweet Harry’s second birthday that the lot of you almost never got the chance to see made your throat constrict with tears you refused to shed since the war.
You wondered if you should tell everyone before you arrived, but the thought of them all discussing you and your pregnancy without you being there left you feeling small and ashamed.
You wondered if you should tell Sirius, but you looked over at the stack of unopened letters he had sent to you in the past four months - the first thin, perhaps a postcard, the second and third were thicker, the fourth was by far the thickest (like he had drafted an autobiography that he wanted you to proofread for him), the fifth was similar to the second, whilst the sixth (the last) couldn’t be more than one page - and wondered how the hell you’d even start that conversation after all this time.
Hey, remember me? Yeah, the bird who caught feelings during our friends with benefits situation that we both agreed would remain platonic amidst a battle for survival and then begged you to stay with no success? Well, whilst you’ve been off probably shagging every beautiful woman across the British Isles, I’ve been pregnant. Right, with your child. How was France, by the way?
You swallowed around your gag reflex and groaned at your image in the mirror. You put on a pair of gingham pants with the baggiest band-tee you could find, planned on sucking in the best you could if anyone (when everyone) insisted on a hug and hoped to every deity that they all just assumed you’d been eating really well since the end of the war.
You smoothed the fabric over your bump one last time before you left - looking at the proof that, if nothing else, you were protecting more than just yourself, and you let that be enough - before you grabbed Harry’s birthday present and called for Potter Manor, throwing a fistfull of floo powder into your fireplace and travelling by way of the flames.
You could hear Harry squealing in delight in one of the adjacent rooms as you stepped into the floo reception room at Potter Manor; a smile taking over your face uninhibitedly at the sounds of the people you loved more than life itself, happy and celebrating.
How could you have gone so long without this?
“Y/N!” Lily shrieked as she made for you, and you sucked in before returning her hug. “Merlin, you're glowing! Where’s your aunt's place again?”
“Erm. Killarney.” You offered; not entirely untrue - you did have an aunt in Killarney.
“Well,” she let out with a breath, eyes turning a touch glassy as they darted across your face, “it seems that Irish air’s been for you.”
You smiled back at your friend before pulling her back in for another hug. “I’ve missed you, Lils.”
“Don’t let it go so long next time, yeah? We can come to you, too; I’m teaching James how to be a muggle, and Harry’s only had the odd burst of accidental magic yet. We could play the part in front of your aunt.”
“I’d love that, Lily.” You responded earnestly.
“Y/N!” James hollered then before you were being bodily tackled by the former quidditch chaser, a brief flash of anxiety at his hold around your stomach abating only when he relinquished his hold on you. “Where in the sodding hell have you been!?”
“Killarney.” Lily answered for you.
“I love Killarney!”
“Have you ever been to Killarney, Prongs?” Remus asked then, appearing in the door as he leaned against the archway.
“No! But I love it there! I just know it!”
“Hey Moony.” You greeted, quickly accepting his open arms and breathing him in.
“We’ve missed you.” He murmured into your hair, and you couldn’t help the traitorous hitch in your heart that he might’ve meant-
“Uncle Pafoo!” Harry squealed, suddenly standing right underneath you.
“That’s right, Haz!” The voice that haunts your dreams called out. “Auntie is here!”
“Hullo, Harry!” You cheered as you picked him up, sucking in before settling on your hip. “Happy birthday, little dude.”
“Am two!” He announced as he held up four fingers.
“You are two! Way to go!” You laughed. “Is everyone here?” You asked the room, shooting Sirius a tight smile so you couldn’t be accused of hostility when your heart stuttered for an entirely different reason.
He looked tired - a bone deep tired that no amount of sleep could rectify - and the bags under his eyes seemed to be chronic. But he was still so beautiful; his hair had grown slightly longer since the last time you’d seen it, the last time you’d run your fingers through it, the last time you’d brought sheers to it, and he donned more than a few new tattoos if the few you could see were enough to go by.
You had to look away.
“Reg’s going to be by after work; his part-time student called in sick so he needed to be there to close the shop himself. Thankfully, they’re only open in the morning on Sunday’s.” Remus explained kindly.
“Good, it’ll be nice to see him.” You offered, and the room fell slightly awkward.
“Uncle Pafoo, aeroplane?” Harry asked then, and whatever exhaustion seemed to be plaguing Sirius vanished as he beamed at his godson.
“Absolutely, little man!” He agreed, holding his arms out and taking Harry’s weight from you.
“Do you want something to drink, Y/N? Wine? Beer, Cider? Juice? Water?” James rapid fire, causing Lily to groan.
“We just got her back, Potter. Do try to control yourself.”
“Water would be great, Jamie. Thank you.” You laughed, following the group into the open concept kitchen-to-living room.
Save the fact that you and Sirius seemed to be doing acrobatics to avoid each other, you were almost stunned at how easy and natural being back here felt. Regulus returned and the two of you shared friendly jibes, Lily caught you up on all of the drama at the Ministry, James strong armed you into agreeing to join them for their next pub quiz night, and Remus said that your old professors all wished you well.
You loved your cottage - the home you’d built for yourself and your little one - but you found yourself feeling homesick for here, and you hadn’t even left yet.
You were leaning on your elbows against the kitchen island, watching Sirius and Regulus pretend to be knights in shining armour as they fought off a fire breathing dragon (Harry) to save the princess (James) when Remus appeared beside you and mirrored your stance.
“It’s not the same without you, you know?” He murmured then.
“But they seem to be alright.” You responded simply, and Remus allowed the two of you to fall into silence for a few beats.
“How far along are you?”
You stood up straight and turned to stare at him in horror, only to see him smiling kindly at you.
“How do you-”
“Lycanthropy - I could smell it on you.” He said with an embarrassed wrinkle of his nose. “I knew Lily was pregnant before she did.”
You shushed him and looked over your shoulder to ensure no one else could hear you.
“Come.” He said with a sigh, gently taking you by the elbow and ushering you out of the sliding doors to the back yard and closing it behind the two of you.
“Remus-”
“Is it his?” He cut you off; his face held no judgement though perhaps just a touch of concern. For you or his best friend/virtual brother-in-law, you weren’t sure.
“Yes.” You whispered, not bothering to clarify who he was talking about; you both knew.
Remus simply nodded as he looked you over. “Is that why you left?”
“He left first.” You hissed petulantly.
“He left you, but you left all of us.” Remus countered somewhat sternly. “Besides, I didn’t ask about him; is this why you left?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because, Remus!” You shouted, tears flooding your vision as you turned to look at him. “Because he didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want me. I wasn’t going to force him to come back just because… just because.”
“Don’t you think he should have been able to make that choice for himself?” Remus asked gently.
“He chose! He did choose! He told me he couldn’t play house, he told me he couldn’t be this person for me. I loved him enough to accept that. I loved him enough to let him go.”
“Loved?” Remus asked with a tilt of his head. “Past tense?”
“Remus.” You groaned. “Please.”
“He came back for you, you know.” Remus pointed out. “He left you, you left us, but he came back for you.”
“Stop it.”
“It’s true, Y/N.”
“And so what if it is?” You nearly sobbed. “So what if he did, Remus? What can I do? I can’t go back in time and change my mind, I can’t go back and fix this. He made choices, I made choices, and here we are.”
Remus heaved a sigh and looked at you sadly. “I don't think either of you realise that your choices don’t have to remain permanent; there can be an expiration date on them.”
You were catching your breath from your mini temper tantrum when you heard the glass door slide open, both you and Remus turning to see Sirius standing there almost shy - far shier than you’d ever seen him before.
“Just talk to him? Okay? You..don’t have to tell him now, just…talk to him.” Remus whispered before heading towards the door, clapping Sirius on the back before disappearing back into the house.
“Hey.” Sirius offered cautiously after a few beats of silence, coming to stand beside you as the two of you looked over the railing of the patio to the rest of the manor grounds.
“Hey.” You returned dumbly, clearing your throat before continuing. “You…you look good, Sirius.”
Sirius scoffed, and you could feel your shoulder rising before you saw him smirk at you - if not somewhat sadly - cutting you a playful glare from the corner of his eye. “Did you take up lying there in Ireland?”
You let out a breathy half-laugh. “I’m not lying.”
“Then you need glasses. I look like shite.”
“You look tired.” You amended.
“I’m exhausted.” He agreed, and the two of you lapsed into silence.
“You look good, though.” He continued. “Healthy.”
You hummed in agreement. “Funny what not having to run on rations and broken hours of sleep on military cots does for a person.”
“Why haven’t I heard from you, Y/N?” He blurted then, turning his entire body to face you.
“Sirius, I-”
“Everyone else has. You’ve spoken to Lily on the phone. James and Remus have gotten letters. Even Reg got a postcard for his birthday.”
“I’m sorry.” Was all you could manage to say.
“I wrote to you.” He continued. “Letters, a lot. Did you get them?”
You nodded your head yes shamefully.
“Did you read them?”
You felt your heart splinter at how hopeful and heartbroken he sounded over it. You felt like scum of the earth when you shook your head no, and he let out a sigh.
“I guess that makes me feel a little bit better, then.” He said as he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag.
You found yourself taking a step away from him when you asked “why does that make you feel better?”
He let out a humourless laugh that forced smoke from his lips. “At least now I know that my begging for a second chance, begging you to come home, professing my love for you isn’t what kept you away.”
“Sirius-”
“I messed up, Y/N.” He declared earnestly. “I…I was fucking scared, terrified. I’d spent so much of my life living with one foot on the threshold of hell that after the war, I didn’t know how to live amongst the undead.”
He took a moment to catch his breath as if he’d run all the way here just to tell you something. “And I ran. I bolted, I…”
“You left.” You finished for him.
“I left.” He agreed. “I… I didn’t know, Y/N.”
“Didn’t know what?” You asked as you choked back tears.
“Didn’t know what I had, or what I wanted. Or that I had everything that I wanted.”
“And you do, now? You know what you want?” You asked, and a look of determination painted his features as he met your gaze head on.
“For my entire life, I had never known what family meant, so I wasn’t even aware that I’d created my own with all of you until I’d risked it all. I was so sure I didn’t want to be like my parents that I never realised I may actually…want to be a parent someday. I was so sure I didn’t want to be my father that I never realised I actually did want to be a partner someday. I was so certain I’d never know what true love felt like that I didn’t even realise I had it right here all along with you.”
“Sirius-”
“I messed up. I left. But what I don’t understand is why you did. Or why you stayed away.” He took a step towards you with his cigarette long forgotten in one of his hands, the ash threatening to burn his fingers before you plucked it and stubbed it out on the stone railing. He barely flinched. “Why’d you go?”
“I didn’t want to sit around and wait for you, Sirius. I- it hurt, I was hurt. And then-”
“I’m sorry.” He offered quickly, but you shook your head.
“I’m not telling you this for you to be sorry, I just-”
“I came back for you.”
“But it wasn’t just about me anymore, Sirius!” You shouted then, and you watched his brows furrow before his face fell in horror.
“You’re seeing someone.” He asked, though he phrased it as more of a statement; like he’d been expecting it.
“I’m not seeing anyone, Sirius.” You sighed.
“Then why’d you leave? Why’d you stay away?”
“Because I’m pregnant.” You blurted, and Sirius fell silent. “I’m almost six months pregnant.”
“Six-” He started, eyes falling to your stomach still hidden behind the baggy article of clothing before you smoothed the fabric over your ever rounding bump. “Six months. Six…”
You let him do the maths in the head as he stared hard at your stomach like he was sitting in divination and it was a crystal ball that might just give him the answers if only he stared at it long enough.
“It’s mine?” He finally concluded.
“Yes.” You whispered.
“It’s mine. You’re pregnant, it’s mine.” He murmured, before his eyes met yours again. “You’re pregnant with my child?”
“Right.” You agreed, and he crumpled to a heap on the floor.
“Sirius Orion Black,” Sirius heard Remus hiss, clearly hovering somewhere over him, “I swear to Godric if you do not wake up and eat some of this godsdamned vanilla cake you bought, your brother is going to skin you alive.”
“It’s true.” James agreed from somewhere on Sirius’ other side. “He actually ran to the store when he found out you bought vanilla because he knew Remus wouldn’t eat any of it. Remus is going to get his chocolate cake, and you’re going to get egged.”
“Shut up.” Sirius hissed as he scrunched his eyes closed. “Fuck.”
“How do you feel, mate?” James asked rather jovially as he clapped him roughy on the shoulder.
“Like hell.”
“Why’s that?” Remus joined in.
“Because I was in the middle of a dream and you sods woke me up going on about cake.” He muttered as he opened his eyes, realising then that he’d been propped up on a number of cushions in one of Lily and James’ spare rooms.
“S’he awake?” Lily whispered, and Sirius craned his neck to see you and Lily poke your heads into the room.
“Oh my gods.” Sirius breathed as he sat up, likely far too fast for someone who fell unconscious mere moments ago. “Oh my gods, you’re actually here?”
“Did you hit your head, mate?” James asked as he prodded at Sirius’ head, causing Sirius to swat his arms away as he shifted towards the edge of the bed.
“You’re here.” He whispered as you slowly made your way into the room.
“I’m here.” You offered cautiously, eyes darting around at your oldest friends like there might be some secret threat lurking in the room.
“You’re pregnant…” He tried then, punching the air right out of Lily and James who both spun to stare at you in shock.
You smoothed the fabric of your shirt over your midsection again to expose a very obvious (now that everyone could actually see it) baby bump.
“Oh my gods!” Lily and James chorused, causing Remus to snort.
“You knew, didn’t you!?” Lily accused Remus who held his hands up in surrender.
“Only when she walked in, and not a second sooner.”
“With my child.” Sirius continued, and you nodded at him.
“Y/N.” Lily winced. “You-”
“You sodding scared me!” You shrilled then, grabbing one of the throw pillows James had dumped onto the ground to make room for Sirius and swinging it at him.
“I scared you!?” Sirius shrieked right back, much to the delight of Harry who started banging on the throw pillow that had landed beside him.
“I thought I killed you!”
“Oh, well I’m terribly sorry that finding out the woman I’ve been in love with for years and pining hopelessly over for months - who was missing for all intents and purposes, may I remind you - is pregnant with my child happened to be a little shocking.” Sirius sneered sarcastically.
“Well I only went ‘missing’ because the man I’ve been hopelessly in love with for years and pining hopelessly over for months took off an-” The abrupt end of your statement nearly gave the room whiplash as you cut yourself off mid sentence and stared at Sirius like you’d never seen him before.
“What…what just happened?” James whispered carefully.
“Years?” You whispered then, and Sirius hated every version of himself that deigned to let you go without knowing just how loved you were.
“Probably when we were still just cosmic dust.” Sirius smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I didn’t always realise, I’m sorry I didn’t make sure that you knew.”
“I take it to guess there isn’t an aunt in Killarney?” Lily offered then, smiling kindly at you when you turned your attention towards her.
“No, I- I think there actually is an aunt in Killarney, I just don’t live with her.”
“Where do you live?” Sirius asked eagerly, wondering if you could hear it in his voice or even see on his face just how desperate he was to know everything about you.
“Near Tintagel.” You offered abashedly as Remus slapped his hand on his thigh.
“You minx!” He scolded you. “You lived basically across the channel from me this whole time!”
“I hope it’s nice, wherever it is” You offered him then, smiling through your tears as Sirius swallowed around his bile threatening its way up his oesophagus.
“I hope it’s nice.” Sirius blurted suddenly, and Sirius thanked the heavens for Remus John Lupin who seemed to understand that the conversation delved beyond the need of an audience, scooping Harry up and closing the door behind Lily, James, and himself to give you two some privacy.
“It’s nice.” You offered wetly. “It’s quiet.”
Sirius hummed in acknowledgement. “In Tintagel, near Merlin’s cave?”
You laughed, which saw Sirius smiling. “I’m not right in Tintagel, just outside. My neighbours are mostly sheep.”
“Does it have a picket fence?”
“To keep the sheep out of my garden.” You nodded with a smile.
“Flowers; lots of them.” Sirius deduced, you nodded again though Sirius watched your smile falter.
“You’d probably hate it.”
“Are you there?” He asked quickly.
“Well, usually, yes.” You offered, and Sirius shrugged easily.
“Sounds as though it might be my favourite place in the world, then.”
The next breath that left you shuddered on its way out, and Sirius finally stood and met you in the middle of the room; close enough to touch but not daring to. He hadn’t earned that right yet.
“Take me with you?” He all but begged then, and your face crumpled in misery.
“Sirius, I don’t want you to follow me because you have to, I-”
“I don’t have to though, I know I don’t; I know you’d never make me.” He assured you then, lifting a hand but pausing to wait for you to nod at him before he placed it on your upper arm. “The letters, Y/N, I- I’ve been looking for you for months.”
A sob tore through you as you lowered your head, and Sirius allowed himself to catch it in his free hand.
“I don’t want you to feel bad; I’m not telling you so that you feel bad, love.” The endearment falling off his tongue so easily now that he had you in his arms. “But I need you to know that I want you - any of you, all of you - and have for a very long time.”
“It’s just…you said-” and Sirius knew exactly what he said; he had played that conversation over and over and over in his mind until he found himself sick over it more than once. But we waited for you to tell him anyhow; he’d always wait for you. “You couldn’t settle down and be content, you couldn’t play house; you weren’t that kind of guy.”
“I know, doll. I know.” He whispered. “I…I didn’t think I was capable of it. I didn’t think I deserved everything I wanted and I knew that you deserved better. That you deserve better.”
“But?”
“But I’d be happy to spend the rest of my life trying to prove you otherwise; trying to give you everything you deserve.”
“Sirius…” You sighed, and Sirius could see your walls cracking. “I…I’m-”
“Take me home? Please?” He begged then, words interrupted by a sob of his own. “To Tintagel, to Killarney, to bloody fucking Azkaban or the bottom of the sodding ocean, I don’t care where it is just as long as it’s with you, please. Please.”
Your hands landed on Sirius’ chest and he was sure you could feel his hummingbird heart beating under your fingertips. He only hoped you knew how it beat for you.
“Please bring me home?”
James didn’t know if he could consider this a success or not.
His motivation was not singular; it was a ‘hit two fairies with one gobstone’ sort of scenario, so to speak. Was his son turning two? Indeed he was! Was James throwing a party for said son’s birthday? You’re damned right he was. But was it also a really good excuse to force two of his idiot best friends into the same room again? Absolutely.
Except James seems to have gotten slightly more than he bargained for; Sirius falling unconscious in his childhood backyard, you sobbing into Lily’s shoulder out in the hallway as he and Remus tried to bring him back from the dead, Remus sneering at a slice of birthday cake like it personally offended him and Regulus threatening to defend his boyfriend’s honour, and - apparently - a new niece or nephew coming in the next three-ish months.
But when he looked over to see you and Sirius emerging from the spare room - both of your faces tear stained and puffy from the grief and torment you no doubt put yourselves through - hands intertwined between your bodies and your hand resting protectively over your growing bump, and a spark in Sirius’ eyes James had thought he lost in the war but now realised he only lost when he lost you…
…yeah, James figured he could probably consider this a success.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#sirius black x fem!reader#fem!reader#pregnancy fic#second chance romance#fwb#fwb to strangers to lovers#fwb to lovers#sirius black angst#sirius black hurt/comfort#sirius black fic#sirius black ficlet#sirius black imagine#sirius black fanfiction#post war fic#angst with a happy ending#ellecdc fics
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Dark Platonic! Fire Nation Royal Family x Non-bender Reader
Part 2
With Ozai:
At first he didn't accept the fact that you, his youngest child, is a non-bender, and ignored your existence.
That was until he noticed how his older brother, Iroh, spends time with you, Ozai got extremely jealous.
And decided to spend time with you, only to realize that you are his favorite child, and felt like an actual father.
Yes, you can't firebend nor do you even have the ability to protect yourself.
But why would you need to protect yourself when your father is going to be the Phoenix king of the fire nation?
Ozai will burn down the world for you.
"You, my sweet child, will grow up in the presence of a very powerful father"
With Ursa:
When Ursa found out that you couldn't bend, she became overprotective of you to the point of paranoia.
Since childhood, she refused to allow you to play with anyone except Zuko.
One time, one of her handmaidens scolded you harshly for playing outside without your mother's permission which resulted in you bursting into tears.
The next day, that handmaiden was fired and Ursa made sure that she gets no other jobs.
While thinking of escaping, she thought to take you with her.
However, Ozai has forbidden that from happening.
"When you find out the truth, promise to come find me"
With Azulon
While still alive, he made sure you had the best education and guards.
Azulon also made sure to have you believe that the fire nation is without mistakes or faults.
He tried manipulating you into believing that just your loyalty to your people is enough duty.
However, you are kind, too kind.
Yet, he Azulon didn't hate you for it even if he considered a weak trait to have in the royal family.
He also still has the flower crown you made him stored away safely so it doesn't rot.
It is rumored that the last word he muttered was your name.
With Iroh
Uncle Iroh isn't really as possessive as the other characters, but he focuses on advising you from time to time.
You enjoy drinking tea with him and gossiping about everything.
Even though, Ozai has forbidden him from speaking with you, you would sneak behind your father's back to drink tea with him.
After the loss of his son in the war, Lu Ten, Iroh felt depressed.
Yet you managed to comfort him with your cheerfulness and playful attitude.
It reminded him of his son.
"The best quality in a princess is her kindness, something which your sister clearly lacks"
With Zuko
Zuko thought you would be like Azula but you have proven him wrong.
You are kind, gentle, and nurturing just like your and his mother.
That's why Zuko always found himself by your side, being your playmate...being your protecter.
His mother told him that it's his duty to protect you from danger considering that he is your older brother.
Even though Azula has never hurt you, but Zuko was always wary of her, especially after his mother disappeared.
When Ozai challenged him to an Agni Kai, you were the first to cry out and plead with him to let Zuko off, but Ozai felt jealous of your relationship with Zuko and was determined to teach his son a lesson.
However when your brother got banished, Zuko took you with him in secret not wanting you to be left with Azula.
"I know the journey will take long but once I restore my honor we can return home together"
With Azula
Azula was extremely jealous when you were born, thinking that you will take all the attention from her.
But she realized that you deserve all the attention.
You didn't treat her like a monster, you weren't scared of her.
Instead you showed her love and called her 'big sister'
You would cling to her as a toddler, whenever there was lightning, you would secretly sneak to her room and sleep beside her.
"How can you be scared of lightning, we control it, silly"
Mai and Ty Lee saw how Azula softens whenever you are around.
And when Azula discovered that you have left with Zuko, she destroyed everything in her way and burned a few servants.
"She's mine, and only MINE"
#tw: toxic relationships#avatar the last airbender#Yandere#platonic yandere#zuko x reader#yandere ozai#Yandere zuko#Yandere Azula#sister reader#daughter reader#readerinsert
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
fight the alchemy (s.s)
Plot | After a tumultuous year, Sebastian’s life was finally okay – passable, up-to-scratch, satisfactory. And he had just almost reached peace – when his brilliant, painfully observant, carelessly crude genius of a friend, Garreth Weasley, started pointing out unnecessary facts that could rip all that harmony to shreds.
or, Garreth asks why Sebastian isn’t dating you. Sebastian spirals.
Tags | fluff, sebastian is a thought daughter, low self esteem, seb is a playboy BUT NOT REALLY, horny thots but we keep it pg, insecurity so deep you try to fight cupid, cupid fights back
An Ashwinder’s wand to his neck and Sebastian could honestly and truly say that he was … alright.
Life wasn’t perfect, by any means. His uncle was murdered dead, an estranged twin sister in Paris who refuses to answer his letters, a mistrustful Ominis that breathes on his neck, and a tattered companionship that was barely hanging on by a thread.
But he was okay.
Thankfully, Solomon was still dead, Anne was still alive, and still cranky Ominis is now open to reconciliation. Plus, if all else had fallen, he at least managed to save your cherished friendship thanks to your forgiving nature.
Thus, as thanks to the people who had not yet given up on him, he had sworn to live the rest of his academic life as a meek, unassuming, law-abiding student of Hogwarts.
And he did such a good job at it.
The professors are now impressed at his steadily increasing grades (so much so that the Ravenclaws are now finally seeing him as a threat again) and he even managed to make Imelda’s team as her beater to keep him occupied.
The latter, however, had a grating consequence – he had become popular.
It was thrilling, at first, he went on dates to make up for the years he had lost, kissed the pretty girls because it felt like he should (as one of the few bastards lucky enough to live every raging teenager’s dream), and accepted the slaps on the face politely when they inevitably broke up.
But now he’s just gotten tired and bored of it all.
Ominis says it’s a genius’ folly, to always find a fault in something and then drop it when it doesn’t quite meet his standard of perfect. Leander says he’s just a bastard.
He cups his face with his hand, wincing. Her fucking ring caught on his skin and he can’t be arsed to suffer through the bitterness of a Wiggenweld Potion for a mere scratch.
Garreth doesn’t bother to swallow his bread before saying, “Really, mate? I thought you liked this one?”
“Liked her rack, more likely,” Andrew quipped from his seat on the stone steps of the boathouse.
Sebastian threw his scarf on his face, satisfied at his squawk.
“No talking about my ex-girlfriends,” he warned. It was one of his few rules when it came to his male friends. He may be a bastard but as someone with a sister and a couple of good female friendships, he makes it a point to never become one of those losers who talk badly about women they have a history with. Just so he can have a moral high ground when he beats up anyone who might do it to his friends.
“All right, all right,” Andrew raised his hands in playful surrender, throwing Sebastian’s scarf back to him. “But as your friend, I think it’s about time you stop swapping out girls every time you get bored of them.”
“I don’t swap them out,” he rolls his eyes. “Breakups are normal.”
“Breakups are normal,” Garreth points out. “Six breakups in 2 years is an issue.”
“Maybe I’m just meant for the bachelor life,” he mumbles, ignoring the pointed accusation from Garreth. Fucking perceptive prick. “Not everyone gets to meet their soulmate in Hogwarts, asshole.”
Garreth grins, “Natty’s great, isn’t she?”
Sebastian and Andrew both throw their scarves at him, the three of them bursting out in laughter and boos.
“To the Three Broomsticks, then?” Andrew stood up, patting his pants.
As 7th years it was nearly impossible to take a breather with the looming threat of exams that will dictate the rest of your life and the inescapable trap of adulthood that awaits them in a couple of months. So, his friends had made it a point to at least go out once every week whenever they could, really take advantage of their last year as students where they had no other responsibility but to survive the week.
In a year’s time, seeing each other as often as they do will be nothing short of a miracle.
“Leander and Everett are already there, saved up a table since it’s a Friday, it’s gonna be packed full,” Andrew explains.
Sebastian looks around, eyes scanning the castle in the setting sun. “You go on ahead I’m waiting for –”
“Sebastian!”
A flash of movement appeared rushing down the stairs towards the boathouse, your face beaming as you waved to the three of them. When you were a foot away from him you jumped into his arms, shrieking energetically when he grabbed your waist and lifted you above his head.
“Sorry, I’m late,” you pant, smiling at your friends once you’re back on the ground. “Professor Hecate asked me to stay back for a minute, something about revisions on my research.”
“I can’t believe you got permission to research in The Restricted Section after the crazy nonsense you pulled in 5th year,” Garreth shook his head. Sebastian wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his side, beaming in pride. Nobody knows but the two of you that the very thing you were researching were the technicalities of how you broke Anne’s curse so it could be taught to the nurses in St. Mungos and hopefully spread to the rest of wizardkind.
“It’s exactly because I had the nerve to break the rules that I was given the honorable opportunity,” you dramatically curtsied. “And they said Gryffindors were the brave ones.”
That made Sebastian laugh. Garreth blinks, eyes squinting at him for a second but he doesn’t look offended, more … focused on Sebastian.
“Alright, no more of that House Rivalry. Quidditch Season is over,” Andrew quips.
“Wiped your asses there too, Larson,” he quipped, Andrew’s jaw drops, looking at Garreth for help and receiving none. He was still staring at Sebastian, eyes shifting between him and you.
Andrew groans. “Slytherins are assholes.”
Slytherins are, apparently, also light-weights.
Well, at least one of them is.
He adjusts his hold on your body as the other hand wraps his coat around your body properly. After your last ‘improved’ butterbeer you had slumped into his lap, rudely snoozing off on the crook of his neck and refusing to wake up even when it was time for your group to leave – not that he would’ve allowed that to happen, with your demanding research it was a miracle to get you to sleep let alone let loose.
The rest of the group had gone in first to scope the scenery and bribe the patrolling Head students with leftover chips while he and Garreth were stuck carrying you and an unconscious Amit that they had managed to catch last-minute in Hogsmeade. Poor bastard.
“I was thinking –”
“Please don’t,” he groans.
“Why have you two never dated?”
Sebastian stops his fussing, barely able to use his head to ensure he keeps walking, and continue to Act Normal, now using both of his hands to hold you tighter.
“You’re drunk,” he deflects. The puffs of your breath warm his entire body.
“Because! When I think about it …”
Please, for the love of the great Merlin stop thinking.
“You’ve been inseparable from the start! I can’t believe it’s escaped my notice you’ve never dated. You say your past relationships got boring and got annoying but you’ve never been bored and annoyed with her and you’ve been friends for years!”
Bored with you? He’s had more near-fatal heart attacks because of you than breakups. Sebastian barely had the time to be bored. And sometimes you do get at each other’s throats but it was always fixed after a proper conversation. If his killing his uncle couldn’t turn you away then he doubts anything you do could ever turn him away.
“Plus, with all the respect and love to my beautiful darling Natty, she’s a fucking catch, mate!”
If Garreth wasn’t carrying a sinless half-dead Amit, Sebastian would’ve punched him in his mouth just to stop him from talking.
“I’m just saying,” Garreth walks ahead of him, clearly aware of the fuse he had just lit. Sebastian was tempted to kick the back of his knees just for the satisfaction of seeing him fall. “Maybe you can join the club and find your soulmate in Hogwarts.”
Garreth winks.
“We’re still accepting members.”
He’s decided.
He needs to kill Garreth.
He has not been able to sleep properly for the past week and it’s all because of that ginger prick and his needless remarks.
“Why have you two never dated?”
Sebastian’s pencil cracks in his hand.
“Is he alright?” he hears an underclassman whisper on the other table. He glances at them and they flinch. Quickly, he softens his expression ("You really need to stop scowling at people, Sebastian."), unaware he had glared at them and sent a wary smile in apology. It would just be unfair to aim his ire at innocent people when he could just use it to rip out every strand of Weasley’s hair.
“He’s been staring at that page for an hour. Maybe we should call –”
He stands up, escaping.
Sebastian never realized just how much he spent his time with you until people were looking at him funny when he was walking or sitting alone in public places. At first, he thought there had been crumbs on his face or one of his asshole friends stuck a note on his back like a kid. Plus, he hadn’t been feeling his best since that night but he thought it had been the lack of sleep.
It wasn’t until he had met Imelda on the grounds that he found his answer:
“Where’s the rest of you?”
He blinked at his captain, “I’m sorry?”
She shook her head. “Man, it feels weird seeing you alone. Did you guys have a fight? You’re usually shadowing her like a puppy after class.”
Then everything clicks, the strange looks, the feeling of missing something (like a forgotten important homework after he had reached the top of the Astronomy Tower) – it’s been a side effect of avoiding you.
Okay, it’s not that he’s avoiding you per se. He just needs space. He needs to think and he finds that can’t do that once he feels your eyes on him. With his luck, you’re going to see right through him and that would just be unideal if not a fucking catastrophe.
That’s why he’s taken it upon himself to stay off your way until he puts his thoughts in a row and finally screws his head on straight again. Or he could just kill Garreth, get sent straight to Azakaban, and avoid confronting these complicated thoughts altogether.
“I can’t believe it’s escaped my notice you’ve never dated!”
He sits on a bench, hands on his head as he let out a prolonged groan, “The fucking bastard.”
Why did he have to point it out? Why did Garreth have to bring what he, upon reflection, had buried on the back of his head, just waiting for that one little flick of acknowledgment before it blew his brains out.
Because Sebastian is a lot of things but he’s not a fucking moron.
It’s not that the thought of being together is unpleasant. If he lets himself consider it his chest feels like it would escape his ribcage both in excitement and utter terror.
But Garreth was right: he’d never thought about it before – hadn’t thought the idea was conceivable in this reality.
He has a feeling it was his way of preserving whatever pure relationship he had left. He’s not exactly rich with true companionship and he’s not idiotic enough to risk it all over a bloody crush.
And not just any crush – his best friend, the person who saved his life and then helped him rebuild it when he was finished smashing it to pieces. The one who never turned her back even when his blood had given up. The girl who has a line of eligible bachelors following her on their knees for a single chance, ones who could offer her more than he ever could – ones who could offer her the world.
So, yeah – forgive him, but he’s never really allowed himself to entertain the idea of them dating. Sebastian has tested his luck enough.
Unless the roles switch and he gets to save the wizarding world this time then maybe … yeah, maybe -- maybe in another fucking life.
The thought makes him stand up, walking straight out of the campus to hopefully drown the sorrows of the depressing state of his love life with the best fire whiskey Hogshead could offer. How does he even move on from this? How does he make peace with the fact that he has sealed his fate of living the rest of his life alone?
It’s impossible, he’s decided. Even if he graduates at the top of the classes he is taking and gets accepted into the Auror Programme that Sharp had recommended him for, their social standing is still heavens apart. He’s an orphan, with a husk of an extended family and no money to his name.
It wouldn’t matter to you, never really cared for pure bloodlines or lineages and he knows anyone who brings that up when they’re courting you will receive the most disgusted look on your face.
But he cares – you are the most special person in his life. He wants the best for you. And the best is not something he can provide.
His depressing thoughts halt as his steps falter, a familiar scent tickling his nose. A familiar scent that leads straight into the Forbidden Forest. When he looks up to the sky, he realizes the sun has almost finished setting.
She can’t be that reckless, right?
He was barely surprised when he chanted the incantation that triggered the charm they had both put in their necklaces, the sparkling thread leads straight into the forest. And if he knows you half as well as he thinks he does then he knows exactly where it’s gonna lead to.
There goes his late-night plan.
It isn’t exactly his first jaunt in the forbidden space but it still gives him the creeps especially so close to the night. Why you’re so fond of the place is something he’ll never understand.
But that’s just the way you were, just another part of your quirks that makes you so endearing.
How you throw your head back when you laugh, that you get so cranky when you’re studying that no one dares to approach you but him, even the way you messily eat your favorite chocolate pastry of the week yet never fail to share a piece with him.
With this new revelation, he bitterly accepts the reason for his philandering ways. That he simply is another prick who is coping with not being able to attain the love of his life at the expense of those poor girls.
His self-condemnation however was cut short when he heard the waterfall, not being able to help the smirk on his face when he turned the corner and found you just as he had expected: in the middle of the clear, dark, water, floating carelessly on your back.
Gods, you are a beauty. He’s always thought so, the entire male population in Hogwarts thought so too. If they somehow get to break through your walls and manage to get to know you, he might just have to beat them away with an actual stick.
“Sebastian,” you smile, his heart stops. “I knew you’d find me.”
You swim to him gracefully, barely disturbing the water with only your eyes above the water but there was no hiding the grin in your face. Like a pitiful sailor seduced by a siren, his feet dragged him to the edge, a short ledge above from where you were looking up at him.
“You left your scent on purpose,” he states, kneeling to get a closer look at you. What a beauty – mischievous, cunning, irresistible. He’s never loved anyone more. “Naughty, naughty, darling.”
She pulls herself up the ledge, their faces inches away from each other. He nails his eyes to yours so they wouldn’t be tempted to look down at your soaking figure cloaked only by a thin chemise “I had to get you somehow, knew you couldn’t resist a damsel in distress.”
“Funny,” he softly glares, chuckling when she preens, clearly satisfied that her plan worked perfectly. “With all the water in the Black Lake, you had to pick the Forbidden Forest to swim in.”
You dip yourself back down in the water, swimming away but still facing him. “Come, Sebastian. I’ve been bored all week since you’ve been avoiding me.”
Guilt runs through his spine at the sudden coldness in your offhanded comment. Clearly, his absence hasn’t escaped your notice as he had hoped.
Like a scolded pup, he follows your command to a T. Eyes never leaving your floating figure as he removed his coat, folding it neatly along with the rest of his clothes until he was left in his underclothes.
He winces at the touch of the freezing water. A heating charm would do wonders but the way your unsympathetic eyes never left his figure gave him a feeling that this was a punishment he was meant to endure.
He steels himself, diving into the water and only resurfacing when he is right in front of you. “You called?”
“You’re so fucking full of yourself,” you splash the cold water at him, shrieking when he reaches out for your arms and barely managing to slip away.
He dives again, grinning at your confused flounder, until you realize your mistake, looking down just as he catches your waist, your surprised shriek, and his unrestrained laughter breaks through the quiet of the forest.
“You done running now, pet?” he locks his hands on your back, pushing you close until he is carrying both your weight in the water, chin resting on your chest as your hands run through his soaking hair.
Your darkened hair frames your face, like a sheer curtain it drops, teasing his cheeks, and hiding your conversation from the rest of the forest – in the dimness, your eyes have never been more radiant, even if it was clearly pissed at him.
Skinship wasn’t foreign between the two of you. When you’ve saved each other’s lives from certain death more times than you care to count, cuddling is the least of your worries.
But there is something about the forest's silence, the sparse moonlight that peaks through the dense trees, the sound of the droplets falling from your hair to the water, and the distant echoes of the animals that make everything intimate. -- more intimate than usual.
“Are you?” you throw his question back at him mercilessly, your hands on the back of his neck, locking his face to look up at you – finally at you. The weeklong separation had been torture and now that the distance had cut his regular contact with his favorite witch, he finally realized how fast his heart was beating when he was around her.
He smiles.
He was satisfied, he swore he was.
Sebastian’s life was finally okay – passable, up-to-scratch, satisfactory. He shouldn’t strive for more, couldn’t allow himself that luxury – the luxury of love, the luxury of you.
But as he stares at your eyes, as he feels the ice in your skin, as he imagines a future where it wasn't him that gets to bite the plump of your lips – that dirty, greedy part of him crawls out of the hole he had shoved it in.
He feels it win.
“Are you done running now?” you whisper, a droplet falls from the tip of your nose to the space just below his eyes, his breath hitches, like your magnetic presence had sucked out all the air of the forest.
“I wasn’t running,” she raises a brow, and Sebastian presses his lips to your ears. “I was thinking.”
“And?”
Leander was right: he really is a bastard.
But he’s a bastard who will no longer wait for another life to love you. He's a bastard who will get what he wants.
“I think,” he whispers, at peace. “I think I’m gonna marry you someday.”
#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x reader#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hogwarts legacy sebastian#hogwarts legacy fanfiction
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
viking!b.katsuki x fem!reader
a.n; i wanted to give viking!bakugou a try, and honestly, this is all @imaginationmess fault for feeding me fanarts of bakugou and his dragon🙃 luv you tho🤍
Viking Bakugou Katsuki who rides the biggest and most terrifying dragon that has ever existed.
A legend said that his dragon in particular had been going on for generations in his family, no one willing to risk their life to tame it. Until Katsuki’s uncle, Bakugou Kudo, did it. He had been the first in generations to ride this dragon. Yet he understood that the bond between dragon and riders was not consolidated between them.
When Katsuki was eight, the little shit escaped the hut and went towards where the nests were. Kudo almost had a heart attack when he saw the brat far off and almost there. He sprinted as fast as he could, a tragedy already displaying in his head –the kid being incinerated, turned to ashes, and his sister cutting his dick off for being a sorry ass uncle. Fuck, and he would had deserved it. Because even though he had tamed the beast, it was still very unstable to let anyone close to it; one of his own men had suffered the consequences of trying to get close, more than half his body had been burned. He was no longer part of their battles.
However, Kudo saw in first person how a dragon’s bond was created. Between his terrifying dragon and his little nephew.
It hadn’t looked much from his perspective, yet he felt the magical aura surrounding them. Katsuki laughed as he touched the dragon’s snot like it was a mer pup, happy and excited while climbing its leg with such ease until he was up on its back, right behind the head. The dragon himself helped the kid to reach the place. Kudo noticed then the beast’s eyes shining a very resplendent gold. Yep, that was definitely a bond.The kid was anything but scared, as he caressed the dragon's head, hugging it even.
Kudo smiled, shaking his head, hands over his hips as he took a deep breath, relaxing. The dragon was only letting him ride it because it knew that Katsuki was his bonded rider and Kudo was related by blood to the kid.
As years went by, the bond only became stronger and deeper. Kudo would ride it in battles, but once at home, the brat and the beast were like one. When Katsuki turned eighteen, Kudo retired from battles and settled down with a wife and kids at the village located next to that of where their family originally came from. From that day on, the brat became the dragon’s one and only owner.
Katsuki was the only human being able to control, care for and command this massive dragon, also becoming the nightmare of most villages in the world. Both, dragon and rider were vicious, deadly and feared.
You still remember the day Bakugou Katsuki landed on your lands. The bright blue sky suddenly turned dark, the huge dragon he rode clouding the sun above. Everyone knew what it meant. Destruction and chaos, the end of their peaceful lives.
The Leader of the village, your dad, didn’t waste time in trying to negotiate a truce between them.
And that truce is you.
You are forced to marry him, to leave your family, friends and life there and go with this barbaric man. You are a bit afraid he is some sort of savage. Rumors told how violent he was, how scary he looked with his scars and aggressive attitude towards everyone. Now that you have said man in front of you, you agreed with all of them.
You were expecting him to manhandle you, to treat you like another woman he picked to use for his own pleasure. Yet all you received since you stepped foot in his village, in his home, had been nothing but coldness and distance. He has kept to himself, doing his stuff and trying not to get in your way. Least to say, it has been completely awkward since the ceremony.
When you are getting ready for it, his mom enters his-your hut. She smiles, a sincere feeling in her eyes, “Being the daughter of a Leader sucks, ain’t it?”
You look down, a slight smile on your face that agrees with her but eyes filled with tears you’re holding back. “It does.”
You feel her hand on your shoulder, and the little squish she gives it in reassurance makes the knot in your throat tighter.
“My son is not a charming prince; however, I know the kind of man I raised him to be. You’re gonna be okay.”
You don’t say anything in response. You don’t even look back at her, but you think she didn’t expect it either as she walks out, leaving you alone. As you walk towards the entrance, fully knowing that once you cross it, your soon to be husband will be waiting at the end of the aisle, all you can wish is that Ms. Bakugou is right.
When the ceremony reaches its end, the old lady of his village drawing the symbols of union, love and family in your foreheads, Bakugou extends his hands for you to lay yours over his. You still haven’t looked him in the eyes, but you do what's expected for the ceremony. When your hands touch the skin of his, you can't avoid thinking how warm they feel. Big calloused, rough and strong hands surround yours, and you don't hate the feeling. On the contrary, it’s quite comforting. The old lady ties a beautifully white and gold silk ribbon around your hands, symbolizing the union of the souls.
While everyone cheers, you finally decide to raise your eyes towards him. Deep red eyes collide with yours, making a shudder run your body at their intensity. Surprisingly, it isn’t a bad feeling, but it is something you have never felt before.
A tingly feeling swirls in your stomach as you realize Bakugou Katsuki's face is getting closer and closer to yours, his intent clear. He is going to kiss you. Your first kiss. You close your eyes instinctively and his lips touch yours in a quick and short peck. Yet it feels like all the tingles in your stomach exploded, sending warmth throughout your whole body.
That has been the only close and physical interaction you have had until today.
Bakugou Katsuki decides to give you space to accommodate and get to know his village and people around.
It doesn't mean he doesn't want you. However, he never makes any sort of move towards you.
Until one day…
Bakugou got back that morning to the village after being away for almost four days with the victory of conquering another village, so you decide to bring him some of the sweet bread you have cooked as a welcome back. You have to admit, this time with him since the marriage ceremony hasn’t been bad. Civil, even. Despite his distance and cold attitude, he has never disrespected or forced you to nothing. Not even that first night as husband and wife. He didn’t even try, he simply picked one of the pillows and clothes to make a bed on the floor, closer to the entrance door, and slept there. You have been very confused. Your mum had previously told you everything of what was expected from a woman on the night of the ceremony. You expected even a fight between you two, because of course you didn’t want that to happen with a complete stranger like he was still to you.
Nevertheless, he never hovers over you. But you do feel his eyes on you whenever he’s around. He always makes some sort of sound for you to acknowledge that his presence is close. Katsuki is attentive to your reactions whenever you are both alone and doesn't even raise his voice at you. Ever.
Then again, he is his ruthless self with everyone else.
You tried looking for him around the village, but couldn't find Bakugou anywhere. So you walk towards the woods where you know the dragon's nests are, where they rest. Even though Bakugou has explicitly forbidden you to go near there, due to the danger their dragons were most of the time, even for the riders.
You are confident Katsuki will be there, so probably he will see you from a distance and you wont need to get that close. But when you arrive, you come face to face with the massive beast: Bakugou's dragon, Cweorth.
You have seen it at a distance, but having the beast up close is a completely different experience. Its whole body is red, with golden piercing eyes that feel very much like Bakugou’s itself. Its wings are huge as they spread in a stretching movement up high, almost taller than the big trees that surround the woods. You can even see some flare of gold in its scale that actually looks mesmerizing. Majestic.
Your basket falls to the floor in shock when the beast finally looks down at your small, minuscule being. It watches you intently, with a scowl on its face –like beast, like owner. But far away from feeling scared by it, you feel intrigued. You feel enamored even as you stand there, looking at such majestic creature.
Bakugou is actually several meters away, taking a bath in the lake close to the nests, cleaning all the blood and dirt off his body before going to the hut he shares with you. He has some scratches and cuts from the fights, but nothing deep or worrisome. He is very proud in saying he is the fucking best out there.
When he's walking through the woods back to the nests of their dragons, he sees it.
His whole body freezes. You are standing there, your arm and hand stretched upwards. His own dragon, the one who eats men like candy at Katsuki's own command, the one who has burned villages in seconds with his strong fire, the one who hates anyone’s touch or closeness that isn't Bakugou himself... His dragon has his snot close to you, letting you pet him with its eyes closed, enjoying your affection like a small puppy dog.
And he can not fucking believe what his eyes are seeing.
Of all the women he has had before you, none were brave enough to even look at the beast. They had all been afraid to death.
And there you stand, looking even fascinated by it. Eyes shining and smiling as you feel for the first time what its skin is like under your touch. You look… beautiful. Gorgeous. Heavenly sent. Fuck. You have him in your hands already.
Bakugou Katsuki then decides:
He will fucking kiss the ground you walk. He will give you everything you ask of him.
You want certain clothes to wear? He will search for them for you. You want certain foods? He will fly his dragon to wherever they are made or grown on. You want a land? He will fucking burn every single thing or life it takes to give it to you.
You want him? He will gladly give himself completely to you.
Well, he already is.
#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#mha bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#viking!bakugou katsuki#uncle!kudo#mha bakugou x reader#mha bakugou katsuki x reader#bnha bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou katsuki x reader#mha scenario#mha imagines#mha drabble#bnha imagines#bnha drabble#bnha scenarios
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Good People
Part One🦇Part Two🦇Final Part
Wayne knows eavesdropping isn't the done thing. He's definitely old enough to know better, and he wasn't going to. He had a plan. He was going to walk directly into the living room, so they'd know he was awake, and after he'd fixed his cup of coffee, he'd plopped into his perfectly worn in recliner and subtly glare at the Harrington boy until he squirmed.
Mostly because it amused Wayne, but also just a little sliver of it was because he wanted the Harrington boy to know Wayne didn't think he was good enough for his boy. But only a little! Lord knows that Wayne couldn't do anything to make Eddie change his mind about Steve Harrington, short of Harrington proving Wayne right. Which he doesn't actually want because he doesn't want Eddie hurt.
He's just... He expects it to happen. That's what boys like Harrington do to boys like Eddie. He's seen it enough times to know that this song and dance leave no room for improvisation. Boys like Harrington play around, get their kicks with the devotion Eddie shows them, and then when they've had their fill, they leave.
Boys like Harrington will never be good enough for Eddie, but they always leave with Eddie feeling like he's not enough. Wayne hates it.
Anyway, his plan wasn't to eavesdrop. It's just that Harrington said his name and Wayne found himself standing still instead of continuing.
"Why doesn't Wayne like me?" Harrington asks.
"This again?" Eddie says dismissively, which has Wayne agreeing. His opinion shouldn't have bearing on their friendship.
A deep sigh from Harrington before, "I just. It's- he means so much to you. And, like, I- nevermind. It's stupid. I'm stupid."
"Hey," Eddie sounds a type of serious that Wayne rarely hears from him, "you're not stupid. And you gotta quit fucking saying that. You say it enough and you'll start to believe it and it's not true."
"Hard to quit feeling stupid when people dismiss my concerns like they are stupid," Harrington snaps back, bitchy as can be. The tone makes Wayne bristle on behalf of Eddie. His boy doesn't reply immediately, though. Doesn't bite back like Wayne's used to hearing. Huh. Maybe he's growing up, just a little.
"You're right, Steve," Eddie says when he finally speaks. "That was dismissive. I'm sorry. Explain it to me. Why does it matter to you whether Wayne likes you or not?"
"Well, because he's your family."
"Yeah," Eddie agrees, "he is. But that doesn't explain why it matters. I don't care if your parents like me or not."
"That's different!"
"How?" Eddie asks, soft but firm.
"Because their opinion doesn't matter. It's not- It's irrelevant. What they think."
"That makes no sense. Wayne's opinion matters because he's my family, but your parents' opinion doesn't even though they're your family?"
"Yes!"
"But why?" Eddie presses.
"Because they're bad people!" Steve bursts, not quite shouting but close. "Because when bad people don't think highly of you, it's not a fault in you. Their disproval is, like, a compliment. They don't like you because you're too different from them. And that's great! You shouldn't want their approval. It's different, because your uncle is a good person. And when a good person doesn't like you, it is your fault. It's something- it's..." Harrington loses steam here, voice dropping low and defeated, "there's something wrong with me. Something in me that- that he just knows. Senses about me or whatever. Something wrong or rotten or-"
"Steve! That's bullshit. Sure, Wayne's been standoffish, but he'll come around. You're not wrong, or rotten, or whatever else you think you are."
"How do you know that? I was an asshole most of life and what if that's just the real me? What if that's who I'll always be deep down. 'Cause I'm trying so damn hard, man. I'm giving it my all trying to be a better person and it's not enough! Everyone still talks about who I was in high school and even you-" Harrington snaps his mouth closed so hard that Wayne hears the clack of his teeth from his position in the hallway. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I'm sorry."
"Steve. This is about more than just my uncle's opinion of you, isn't it?"
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
"I want you, too. I want to know if I've ever done anything to make you feel like you aren't enough."
Wayne really shouldn't be listening. He should back down the hall and into his room. Give them time to talk.
"No, Eddie, you don't make me feel like- that's not what I meant. I just. I'm...."
"Hey, Stevie, you can tell me."
"I'm just so afraid that... That one day everyone will wake up and realize what Wayne already knows. That I'm not good enough for them. For you."
Oh. Wayne really shouldn't be listening.
"I'll admit that Wayne's opinion is important to me, for a lot of things. But not about you. What I feel about you, how I feel about you, isn't dictated by Wayne."
"Sure. I mean, I know that, like, logically or whatever. But it's. I can't convince my brain that you won't just. Hate me one day. And I- fuck, Eddie, I'm already halfway in love with you and-"
"You're in love with me?" Eddie interrupts, sounding awed, starstruck, and Wayne cannot be listening anymore. He backs down the hall silently and back into his room.
Steve Harrington seems to think that he's a good person, but he's not feeling like a good person at the moment.
He's got some thinking to do.
#steddie#my fic#wayne munson#eddie munson#steve harrington#wayne pov#wayne doesnt like steve and steve cannot accept that#not doing a readmore because its very short.
4K notes
·
View notes