#'but how can you have an opinion if you haven't played it'

[funishment-time]

rain code is currently on sale (at least on the playstation store) and i was wondering ur thoughts/if ud recc it?? preferably as spoiler free as possible!!

ooh, i did mean to write up a whole big thing about this, and i still will (i think after a second playthru). apologies if you were the person who asked for a Longer Opinion a few months back!

the short answer: yes, absolutely.

and now for a slightly longer answer ✨

i'm a bit groggy so i won't sound Super Eloquent but Rain Code has:

extremely lovable characters

great comedy

lots of extras to explore if you want

quite a bit of gameplay (i don't know how long it is officially, but it felt at least as long as a full V3 playthru if you also do all the Free Times etc)

beast-ass music

interesting self-contained stories inside a bigger arc

e m o t i o n

quite a bit to say, actually, about nationalism and colonialism (yes, really)

and a few comments on misgivings i hear from people:

i've heard Shinigami is, uh, "a lot"? YMMV. i found her super adorable and charming. the Fucking Thing of all time. if you could tolerate Miu or Junko in DR, i think she'll be fine for you

how is the nonbinary character, Halara, treated? wonderfully. the only shitty comments iirc are from Shinigami who is kind of a fart cloud ghost Cartman South Park, and there's only one or two i believe? otherwise there's no shitting on the hot enbee, and Halara is a fantastic fleshed-out character overall

i've heard there's fan service? the most egregious (if you want to call it that) is via Shinigami, who is meant to be very over-the-top. there's no titties out or anything, but you have a bikini Shinigami sometimes etcetera. Desuhiko is kind of a horny character, but not like a Teruteru or even a Miu. and there's no, like, upskirts that i can remember, or anything like that. YMMV again, but overall it's more mature than DR in that regard

i've heard you don't get as attached to the characters as in DR? the structure of Rain Code is different in that you spend one main chapter with each of your fellow detectives. BUT. the others are always around to do Gumshoe Gabs (Free Times) etc and sometimes play a secondary role in certain chapters that aren't "theirs." i think people feel like they haven't gotten a lot of time with the characters because DR's been around for ages and because DR's whole thing is a death game where you may lose your best friend Kaito at any moment. but i never felt like there wasn't enough time to get attached in RC. they are precious from the start

i heard the DLCs aren't worth it? buy the version with the DLCs included if possible. (i don't even know if they sell the DLCs separately anymore. but if they do, don't fall for it. get Rain Code+!!!)

i hope this helps a bit with your decision!

[uncanny-tranny]

I know this is a very unoriginal observation (much like any other), but I'm finally reading The Great Gatsby, and even I wouldn't describe men the way Nick does.

[cheriafreya]

Penacony's 2.0-2.2 patches: genuinely HSR's peak, full of unforgettable moments. I still get chills watching the cutscenes and some of them still make me cry like the first day.

Penacony's 2.3, 2.6 and 2.7 patches:

[laugtherhyena]

3:23AM, time to post Hatamori fankid and retreat back into my hiding hole

[longagoitwastuesday]

So so indebted to u for posting those lovely illustrations from Cyrano <333 & even more so for yr tags!! I'm completely in love w yr analysis, please feel free to ramble as long as u wish! Browsing through yr Cyrano de Bergerac tag has given me glimpses of so many adaptations & translations I'd never heard of before! I'll be watching the Solès version next, which I have only discovered today through u ^_^ As for translations, have u read many/all of them? I've only encountered the Renauld & Burgess translations in the wild, & I was curious to hear yr translation thoughts that they might guide my decision on which one I buy first (not necessarily Renauld or Burgess ofc). Have a splendid day & sorry for the likespam! 💙

Sorry for the delay. Don't mind the likespam, I'm glad you enjoyed my tags about Cyrano, and that they could contribute a bit to a further appreciation of the play. I loved it a lot, I got obsessed with it for months. It's always nice to know other people deeply love too that which is loved haha I hope you enjoy the Solès version, it may well be my favourite one!

About translations, I'm touched you're asking me, but I don't really know whether mine is the best opinion to ask. I have read... four or five English translations iirc, the ones I could find online, and I do (and especially did, back when I was reading them) have a lot of opinions about them. However, nor English nor French are my first languages (they are third and fourth respectively, so not even close). I just read and compare translations because that's one of my favourite things to do.

The fact is that no translation is perfect, of course. I barely remember Renauld's, but I think it was quite literal; that's good for understanding the basics of the text, concepts and characters, but form is subject, and there's always something that escapes too literal translations. Thomas and Guillemard's if I recall correctly is similar to Hooker's in cadence. It had some beautiful fragments, some I preferred over Hooker's, but overall I think to recall I liked Hooker's more. If memory serves, Hooker's was the most traditionally poetic and beautiful in my opinion. Burgess' is a whole different thing, with its perks and drawbacks.

Something noticeable in the other translations is that they are too... "epic". They do well the poetic, sorrowful, grief stricken, crushed by regrets aspects of Cyrano and the play in general, but they fall quite short in the funny and even pathetic aspects, and that too is key in Cyrano, both character and play. Given the characteristics of both languages, following the cadence of the French too literally, with those long verses, makes an English version sound far too solemn at times when the French text isn't. Thus Burgess changes the very cadence of the text, adapting it more to the English language. This translation is the one that best sets the different moods in the play, and as I said before form is subject, and that too is key: after all, the poetic aspect of Cyrano is as much true as his angry facet and his goofy one. If Cyrano isn't funny he isn't Cyrano, just as he wouldn't be Cyrano without his devotion to Roxane or his insecurities; Cyrano is who he is precisely because he has all these facets, because one side covers the other, because one trait is born from another, because one facet is used as weapon to protect the others, like a game of mirrors and smoke. We see them at different points through the play, often converging. Burgess' enhances that. He plays with the language itself in form and musicality, with words and absences, with truths masking other truths, with things stated but untold, much like Cyrano does. And the stage directions, poetic and with literary value in their own right in a way that reminded me of Valle Inclán and Oscar Wilde, interact with the text at times in an almost metatextual dimension that enhances that bond Cyrano has with words, giving them a sort of liminal air and strengthening that constant in the play: that words both conceal and unveil Cyrano, that in words he hides and words give him away.

But not all is good, at all. Unlike Hooker, Burgess reads to me as not entirely understanding every facet of the characters, and as if he didn't even like the play all that much, as if he had a bit of a disdainful attitude towards it, and found it too mushy. Which I can understand, but then why do you translate it? In my opinion the Burgess' translation does well bending English to transmit the different moods the French text does, and does pretty well understanding the more solemn, cool, funny, angry, poetic aspects of Cyrano, but less so his devotion, vulnerability, insecurities and his pathetism. It doesn't seem to get Roxane at all, how similar she is to Cyrano, nor why she has so many admirers. It does a very poor job at understanding Christian and his value, and writes him off as stupid imo. While I enjoyed the language aspect of the Burgess translation, I remember being quite angry at certain points reading it because of what it did to the characters and some changes he introduces. I think he did something very questionable with Le Bret and Castel-Jaloux, and I remember being incensed because of Roxane at times (for instance, she doesn't go to Arras in his version, which is a key scene to show just how much fire Roxane has, and that establishes several parallels with Cyrano, in attitude and words, but even in act since she does a bit what Cyrano later does with the nuns in the last act), and being very angry at several choices about Christian too. While not explicitly stated, I think the McAvoy production and the musical both follow this translation, because they too introduce these changes, and they make Christian as a character, and to an extent the entire play, not make sense.

For instance, once such change is that Christian is afraid that Roxane will be cultured (McAvoy's version has that infamous "shit"/"fuck" that I detest), when in the original French it's literally the opposite. He is not afraid she will be cultured, he is afraid she won't, because he does love and appreciate and admires those aspects of her, as he appreciates and admires them in Cyrano. That's key! Just as Cyrano longs to have what Christian has, Christian wants the same! That words escape him doesn't mean he doesn't understand or appreciate them. The dynamics make no sense without this aspect, and Burgess (and the productions that directly or indirectly follow him) constantly erases this core trait of Christian.

Another key moment of Christian Burgess butchers is the scene in Arras in which Christian discovers the truth. Burgess writes their discussion masterfully in form, it's both funny and poignant, but it falls short in concept: when Cyrano tells him the whole discussion about who does Roxane love and what will happen, what they'll do, is academic because they're both going to die, Christian states that dying is his role now. This destroys entirely the thing with Christian wanting Roxane to have the right to know, and the freedom to choose, or to refuse them both. As much as Cyrano proclaims his love for truth and not mincing words even in the face of authority, Cyrano is constantly drunk on lies and mirages, masks and metaphors. It's Christian who wants it all to end, the one who wants real things, the one who wants to risk his own happiness for the chance of his friend's, as well as for the woman he loves to stop living in a lie. That is a very interesting aspect of Christian, and another aspect in which he is written as both paralleling and contrasting Cyrano. It's interesting from a moral perspective and how that works with the characters, but it's also interesting from a conceptual point of view, both in text and metatextually: what they hold most dear, what they most want, what most fulfills them, what they most fear, their different approaches to life, but also metatextually another instance of that tears/blood motif and its ramifications constant through the whole text. Erasing that climatic decision and making him just simply suicidal erases those aspects of Christian and his place in the Christian/Cyrano/Roxane dynamic, all for plain superficial angst, that perhaps hits more in the moment, but holds less meaning.

Being more literal, and more solemn, Hooker's translation (or any of the others, but Hooker's seems to love the characters and understand them) doesn't make these conceptual mistakes. Now, would I not recommend reading Burgess' translation? I can't also say that. I had a lot of fun reading it, despite the occasional anger and indignation haha Would I recommend buying it? I recommend you give an eye to it first, if you're tempted and can initially only buy one.

You can read Burgess' translation entirely in archive.com. You can also find online the complete translations of Renauld, Hooker and Thomas and Guillemard. I also found a fifth one, iirc, but I can't recall it right now (I could give a look). You could read them before choosing, or read your favourite scenes and fragments in the different translations, and choose the one in which you like them better. That's often what I do.

Edit: I've checked to make sure and Roxane does appear in Arras in the translation. It's in the introduction in which it is stated that she doesn't appear in the production for which the translation was made. The conceptualisation of Roxane I criticise and that in my opinion is constant through the text does stay, though.

[iridescentis]

Chapter 5 of We Were Younger has a very important choice at the end, and I will be bringing those choices over here! Since most people are more comfortable clicking a button than leaving a comment :)

Should Noel report Talia's YouTube account, getting her banned so Mischa never meets her at all, or should he just leave it, drop a comment of his own and let fate take its course?

[gender-euphowrya]

wouldn't it be nice. if people made sure they knew what the fuck they're talking about before talking about it

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I forgot to mention that I saw the trailer for the new the The Hunger Games movie when I went and saw Blue Beetle (the prequel, you know?) and it does look really good (even though at first I was unsure about it). I'm probably for sure going to see it when it comes out. Though this will be the first time that I haven't read the book first... unless I do end up reading the book between now and then.

[optiwashere]

what are your thoughts on the differences between Early Access characters and full release? Did you play it?

I don't play early access games. I don't have the time for it, believe it or not, and I also don't want to burn myself out on (usually) shittier versions of games without experiencing the full scope. If someone wants me to beta test their game, they can pay me.

I played the first Darkest Dungeon in the earliest patches, and it's forever tainted my perception of early access games for me personally.

That said, I can only go off of what people say about those versions of the characters and that is exceedingly difficult without just watching playthroughs of those various versions. Why? There are plenty of people who have their heads on straight, but I see enough mythologizing of cut content, older sketches of things, etc. for me to be wary of relying on second-hand accounts. And I definitely don't have time to watch playthroughs of an obsolete version of this video game lol.

Anywho, my point is: I like the game at release. Thinking about what was and what could have been is as useful to me as rocks in my shoes. I prefer to discuss what we have.

[vilelittlecritter]

I hate when I'm trying to enjoy something and then I turn around and there's a hoard of gatekeeping assholes going

"THAT PERSON ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING SUPER CONTROVERSIAL 8 YEARS AGO AND IF YOU LIKE THEIR CONTENT YOU SHOULD GO STRAIGHT TO HELL BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES YOU AND YOUR INTERESTS ARE SHIT"

Like nice as if I wasn't already self conscious about letting myself just enjoy a piece of media which has helped me cope through my increasingly declining mental health because I'm scared of coming across as "cringe" or "weird" because I've forced myself into this mindset that I need to constantly be super mature which has led me to just straight up not be able to just enjoy doing things.

I'm tired, feel nauseous and angry and I just want to enjoy something and not feel like I shouldn't enjoy it at all.

[the-physicality]

..

[biromanticwritergal]

I have no idea what I'm going to do for NaNoWriMo this year. I feel very uninspired lately.

I just want to do well in my class and my energy has been low lately (season change on my new medicine, I'm guessing???). I need some energy because it's Shakespeare and I need to keep my grades up to stay in the honors society (no pressure lol).

Much More in the tags as per usual... :P

[astrolovecosmos]

How to Get in Touch with Your North Node

Aries NN: Play more games or join more competitions. Make a list of YOUR wants and needs. Go see a movie alone or do more errands alone to exercise independence. Allow yourself to experience anger and passion. Work on healthy anger management tools and skills. Embrace change and the new. Take action more. Don't be afraid to be a little more impulsive. Make a vision board. Focus on your interests from when you were much younger.

Taurus NN: Do some spring cleaning - and even more so, throwing away. Sit or lay on the ground more. How can you enjoy or incorporate nature into your life more? Forgive yourself from times you were tricked, betrayed, or made an ignorant decision. Practice routine. Take time to disconnect from social media. Address your insecurities in a direct or even tangible way. Remember to see the beauty and strengths in yourself. Lean into resourcefulness.

Gemini NN: Try journaling. Read - read - read. Appreciate or accept your inner child, your flaws, your insecurities. If you can't be honest with a friend, partner, or family member reconsider your boundaries with them. Speak your mind more often. Be open to changing your opinions. Take technology breaks. Yet a meditation or self-care app may be useful. Explore different methods of self-expression. Speak as much as you listen and vice versa. Try something new often.

Cancer NN: Take your mental health seriously. Self-care is worth it. Cook a new recipe or learn how to cook. Practice self-awareness/introspection more often. Consider therapy or self-help books and media. Appreciating and finding strength in your soft side will be a needed challenge. Taking care of something even if it is a plant or pet can be fulfilling. Listen to your intuition. Practicing gratitude and giving can be helpful. Go where you feel safe!

Leo NN: Always schedule time for enjoyment, pleasure, hobbies, indulgence. Hike. Spoil yourself but be sure to spoil others too. Go out to more parties and events. Channel your passion and anger into productivity. Stretch and practice yoga. Do breathing exercises. Get up early more often. Make art - create something. Be open minded to romance and/or affection. Take pride in yourself and life.

Virgo NN: Practice more realism and/or humility. Take part in puzzles, riddles, and anything that uses logic or critical thinking. Tap into your society's common sense and norms that can be most helpful to you. Volunteer or take part in charities. Be part of a team somehow. Reexamine your relationship with work. Surprise someone you care about with a gift, favor, trip, etc. Recognize your talents and skills. Learn a new skill or work on improving a craft. Practice healthy eating and exercise habits!

Libra NN: Be more mindful and selective of who you befriend and date. Practicing self-love is a must. Return favors often. Spend more quality time with that person you haven't seen lately. Be open to frequent date nights, couples counseling, couple events, and double dates if you have a partner. Balance alone time with social time. Get in touch with your romantic and artistic side. Practice objectivity when you can. Don't compare yourself to others. Embrace independence but don't forget to also embrace giving and receiving in relationships.

Scorpio NN: INTROSPECTION NEEDED. Distance yourself from media or people that cause anger, frustration, or heavy sadness or doubt. Self-control is important to practice. Don't lie to yourself! Journal, maybe try a dream journal. Don't underestimate your intuition. Go out in nature. Try something new based on your hunches. Examine yours and others intentions closely. Celebrate the small wins. Get out of your head and get out of your own way. Focus on your goals. Practice and enforce self-respect.

Sagittarius NN: Don't be afraid to explore beliefs and ideals that are very different from yours. Practice independence. Take a few more risks. Give yourself a pep talk. Try power poses. Stick to your morals and your gut. Be honest. Look at the big picture more often. Knowledge is power should be your motto. Learn something new. Speak confidently. Practice authenticity. Try to be present. Make a plan to accomplish small goals and eventually move onto larger goals.

Capricorn NN: Speak up more in meetings! Try going for that promotion or position. Understand the power and importance of money and materialism. Practice self-control and self-discipline. Be more patient. Study or look into history, economics, investments, politics, or business. Work on your boundaries actively. Practice decisiveness when you can. Put yourself first responsibly. Question authority often. Make moves that are more thoughtful or strategic. Pay attention to who supports you and who doesn't. Avoid rushing. Work on trusting yourself.

Aquarius NN: Understand and accept other's intentions. Let go of unhealthy attachments. Practice independence often. Explore themes of rebellion and empowerment. Practice cooperation. Don't resist change. Materialism is not your friend. Try to find what inspires you and be around it often. Cultivating healthy friendships is important. Explore unconventional ideas. Face the unknown when you can. Look at the big picture. Laugh when you can. Practice more tolerance.

Pisces NN: Tapping into your beliefs and exploring spirituality or religion is a major theme. Embrace sensitivity, empathy, and kindness. Give when you can. Don't just relate to others - see yourself in them. Find beauty in yours and others' flaws. Take the scenic route. Practice self-reflection. Practice flexibility and leave behind energy-draining goals or pursuits that don't offer personal fulfillment. Idealism and positive thinking can be helpful at times. Honestly... get lost in yourself or even another sometimes, just remember to come back up to the surface.

[jello-chennie]

✧ todoroki who is completely in love w his gf!

✧ genre/tw fluff ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ (nsfw at the end ⚠︎)

todoroki shouto who, once you get together, cant seem to hide a single bit of the love he holds in his heart for you

todoroki who absolutely bleeds affection for you

he grew up in what was, obviously, a very unaffectionate household, so once he gets a taste of pure, loving affection from someone, he cant seem to hold himself back

and tbh, he doesn't really catch onto very many social cues or norms, so it's not like he really cares to hold himself back

so pda is on the table, all the time

you could be sat at a table, in the middle of a conversation with your friends, and shouto will be passing by

he will proceed to lean over the back of your chair and press two or three loving kisses onto various parts of your face, and then one final one onto your lips, and will continue on his way without a single word uttered to you or your friends

bc realistically, how could he just pass you by and not kiss you?

shouto who always has to sit next to you, where ever the two of you are, and needs to have a hand on you at all times

will absentmindedly play with your hair if you can't give your full attention

is your hype man 100%

your opinions are his opinions

when you're telling him a story or complaining about something, you're always in the right in his eyes

even when you're clearly in the wrong, you're right

"yeah and she pissed me off so much that i literally just rear ended her car smh"

"no that's actually her fault, she should've been driving faster"

shouto spends a lot of time watching you, and taking in your features

he loves you sm and could spend all day looking at you

has repeatedly gotten himself into trouble bc he was looking at you, or distracted by the thought of you will doing something important on the job

he's a smart boy, and that transfers over into your relationship, bc he can memorize every little or big detail about yourself as soon as you tell him

probably keeps track of ur cycle in his head as soon as u mention having cramps (if ur afab)

if you have curly hair, he is adamant about having you teach him how you take care of your hair so he can do it for you

he really really really loves the intimacy of sitting you on a chair and tipping ur head back into the sink so he can wash your hair for you, and sneaking in lingering kisses throughout

later into the relationship, he finds himself mirroring your little habits and taking little bits of your personality

if you haven't been able to spend time together at all on a particular day, once he can finally steal you away, even just for a few moments in a semi private area (for your sake, bc you're always getting so flustered whenever he shows you a lot of affection, which he doesn't get at all why you're embarrassed), he will wrap his arms around you, and just hold you as tight as he can with his head tucked into your hair

says he's "recharging"

if you've both been busy for a while, and this is your first moment together in days, he will insists he needs to be "closer" to you to properly recharge

wants to feel your skin on his

wants be inside you (yes he would do it in semi public, he's a little desperate for you)

and you can't deny him, bc tbqh you need to recharge too

you're just as smitten w him as he is w you

[pomefioredove]

Hai hai! I wanted to request HCs for Riddle, Ace, Cater, Leona, Jamil, Azul, Floyd, Jade, Vil, and Malleus (apologies, that's a lot of characters-) with a reader that is normally awkward/easy to fluster but will randomly do or say something really bold. If that's already been done then please ignore!

Hope you have a nice day! Or night! Or secret third thing???? :3

I think this is rather similar to this, but I haven't done some of these characters with this prompt so I'll just write them here :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ the boys do a flirt (part 2)

type of post: headcanons characters: ace, cater, floyd, jade additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

we all know that Ace prides himself on his flirting skills

what can he say?

seeing you get all shy and giggly is a huge ego boost for him

he can't help himself!

even his corniest lines get a reaction out of you, it's too easy

(and giving Deuce secondhand embarrassment is a big bonus)

he starts to think that maybe he's overdone it when you start using his own lines against him

it catches him by surprise every time

and he can't even play it cool!

but, he'll admit, he's... kinda into it

turns out the taste of his own medicine is pretty sweet

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

not unlike Ace, Cater just really likes getting a reaction out of you

for one, it's good for his self-esteem

for another, you're the cutest thing he's even seen

and, finally, he knows just how to press your buttons

even his brain works on an algorithm

he figures out what you react to the most, and then uses that until you're reduced to a flustered mess

rinse and repeat

and when you start giving back the same energy, he's...

well, surprised, but also...

damn...

what's a friendship without a little tension that makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable, anyway?

^ Riddle hates you both

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I had to think about how Floyd would flirt for longer than I'd like to admit

like... he bites people, right? we agree that he bites?

generally just annoying on purpose

closing books while you're reading them, stealing your things (and then pretending he doesn't have them), holding your things above his head where you can't reach...

anything to get you all riled up

it's adorable!

he's more used to being yelled at than flirted back with, though

this is much better, in his opinion

let's hope you're more clever than he is, though

he adapts fast

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

flirting with Jade means a lot of subtle comments and subdued looks

let's hope you're good at reading subtext...

you're going to need all the help you can get with this one

one careless glance in your direction could be him checking you out, and you'd never know

being, perhaps, the most subtle of flirts in this post, your boldness almost makes him blush

it's as if you're not even afraid of him

how... interesting

if you hadn't caught his full attention before, you surely have now

[jogetsobsessed]

One Night - Paul Lahote x reader

She's backkkkk! I know this isn't what you want, however, this survived the great laptop crash of 2024 (unlike the half-finished prophecy pt2 doc). This however is cutie in my opinion and I would be open to writing a part 2 (if anyone wants it). Also, I'm almost to 200 followers which is so crazy? Thank you for all the love!

---------------

“No, no, no, no”, you wailed as you looked at your hands. They were shaking as you clutched the plastic, the plus sign clear as day. Your body slumped down the wall of the bathroom, your body curling into itself as you hit the ground. 

What are you going to do? 

You were young, too young in your life to start thinking about starting a family. It's not even like you were seeing anyone. This whole situation came about after you had a bad day and just wanted to forget. To forget life and all your problems. 

You let yourself have fun, with someone you only kind of knew.  At the time that had seemed like the best plan. You knew of him and had met a few times through your friend Emily. It was better than prowling on some meaningless app that you would just delete the next morning. He was nice to look at, extremely cocky, kind of an asshole to everyone else, but always kind to you. 

The few times you had met Paul Lahote before your night of fun he had never gone out of his way to talk to you but that was okay with you. All the other boys that hung around Emily’s house could be way too much. Just dropping her off after work would lead to you being pulled into a two-hour conversation because none of them knew when to shut up. Paul however would always hover on the porch or somewhere else in your eyeline. He never came up to join the conversation but never left his spot of isolation either. 

So after a bad day at the clinic, Emily invited you back to her place for a drink and you accepted. Emily was your friend, one of the only actual friends you had made since moving to the Forks area six months prior. But you haven't spent much time together outside of work, except for riding to and from the clinic. 

But this shift had been so rough on both of you that you needed to vent to each other and get something in your system to make you forget a little. Cut to hours later neither of you notice her fiance and his friends walking in the house to you and Emily losing it on the couch, clutching your sides from how hard you were laughing. 

It wasn't even the alcohol necessarily, the two of you had split a bottle of wine but that wasn't enough to get you messed up to the point of uncontrollable laughter. No, it was finally being able to relax in good company, let loose and enjoy yourself. 

The boys had just snickered at the two of you, Emily’s fiance ushering them back into the kitchen to give the two of you some space. However, at some point, hunger struck and the kitchen was calling your name. 

Emily had declared nachos as the snack of choice and you couldn't agree more. She had charged through the sea of testosterone while you decided to timidly hug the doorframe, not knowing where to place yourself down. The kitchen was full of Sam’s friends and there wasn't a place to sit. You were thinking of slipping into the kitchen and leaning against the counter while Emily assembled plates of goodness.

That was until a particular tanned-skin boy stood up and very subtly gestured towards the chair. A sudden confidence had taken over you, and you certainly can blame that on the wine. Crossing the room in just a few paces you lower yourself onto the previously occupied seat and join the rowdy group at the table. 

Looking up you gave him a silent look of thanks as he stood, leaning his back against the countertop. He reciprocated a small smirk before returning his attention to the intense game of spoons that the other boys were trying to rope you into. 

After that, the night was a blur. You had played a few rounds of the card game, Emily eventually joining with heaping plates of nachos, placing herself in her fiance's lap. Paul had disappeared momentarily, reappearing with an old wooden stool, sitting directly to your left. 

You tried to focus on everything happening, but it was no use. All you could think about was that simple gesture of kindness. The act of chivalry that no doubt was gonna earn him some teasing from his buddies, which is what made it and him so much more attractive. 

Thoughts of the beautiful man plagued your mind the whole night and when he offered to drive you back home at the end of the night you accepted. He blamed it on the fact that he wouldn't feel right if he let you drive home after drinking, even if it was just a few glasses of wine and that had been hours ago. 

Even though you felt completely sober at this point as it had been hours and you had eaten your fair share of nachos you obliged, how could you pass up the opportunity for one of the most attractive men you had laid eyes on in a long time to drive you home? 

Attractive and chivalrous, two things he had going for him. 

The ride home was nice, the windows rolled down, and your hair flowed in the breeze. He drove smoothly and slowly, taking the winding corners with ease. A song that occupied the radio 24/7 played, and you were in such a state of comfort that you allowed yourself to sing along softly. 

It was weird, you barely knew this man, yet you felt so comfortable around him. Being in his presence was easy. 

Once your headlights illuminated the front of your modest home you felt your heart sink. This was it, your night of bliss was going to end. He threw the truck in park, turning to face where you sat. He opened his mouth, to say what you have no idea because you cut him off before he got the chance to speak. 

“Do you wanna come in?”. 

--------------

That night had been six weeks ago. And since then you hadn't seen or heard from him once. Not that you had reached out much. The last thing you needed was to make things awkward and complicated with a friend of a friend. 

Only now things were gonna have to be awkward and complicated, it was sorta unavoidable. 

Time paused as you sat there on the bathroom floor. Staring at the pinked-capped stick. Part of you wished you hadn't taken the test, even if that would have just avoided the inevitable for a few days, maybe a couple of weeks. 

Your head was reeling as you attempted to comprehend the news. On one hand, you had always wanted to be a mom and had dreamed of it. However part of the dream was a perfect house, a perfect job, and a perfect husband. Someone that loved you and supported you. Having a baby daddy that you hardly knew wasn't exactly in the picture. 

------------

At some point your body went on autopilot, you picked yourself off the ground and went through the motions of getting ready for the day. You didn't know what you were getting ready to do, you had already called out after you had woken up before the sun to empty your stomach of last night's dinner. 

The brain fog seemed to slightly lift once you were closing your car door, clutching the steering wheel as your life preserver. The pregnancy test in your pocket feels as if it weighs a thousand pounds. 

You felt insane. 

Who were you to go to this man who you barely knew and just throw this information at him, even if he deserved to know? Because this was his burden too. This wasn't an instance of immaculate conception, it took both of you to get into this situation. 

Recalling an earlier conversation with Emily where you had not so subtly asked what Paul did for work you remembered her mentioning the name of the garage. 

Since today simply could not get more insane you decided to embrace the insanity and started the drive towards the reservation. 

You practiced what you were gonna say over and over, but nothing sounded right. 

“Hey, remember me? I'm the girl you slept with once and ghosted, well I'm pregnant”. 

“Paul, remember me? Y/N, yeah so you kinda got me pregnant”. 

“Hey so remember when I told you that you didn't need a condom, well I say dumb things I don't mean when I’m around pretty people”. 

You were so screwed. 

----------

The parking lot was practically empty because of course, it was. Of course, there wouldn't be enough cars for you to blend in and hide for a little bit to gather your confidence. No besides your car there were only three others, and since you knew that Paul's truck was one of them there was a decent chance that the other two were also employees. The large bay doors of the shop were opening, one of the bays occupied with an old Volvo on the lift. 

Crossing the parking lot, the man of the hour caught your attention. Paul was alone in the garage. Grease and oil covered his hands and forearms as his attention was focused on the car above him. Patting your jacket pocket you made sure your proof was still there. You had only made it about halfway once he spotted you. He did a double take, a minor look of confusion showing. I mean why wouldn't he be confused, you weren't friends and here you were just randomly showing up at his place of business. 

Deciding to pull whatever last shred of confidence you had buried deep down you didn't turn chicken and run back to your car. No, you carried on walking, right up to the edge of his behemoth of a toolbox, slightly leaning on it to gain some support. The nerves make your whole body feel unstable. 

The wrench was abandoned, clattering inside said toolbox and he found a discarded towel that was so dirty it looked like it was only gonna make his hands worse. You couldn't help but study the way his body moved, how he looked in his work clothes, and how his muscles were contracting as he attempted to clean off the grime. Jesus Christ you need to get a hold of yourself, you thought. 

What you didn't notice was he was doing the same to you, looking you up and down searching for a reason as to why you were here. It wasn't until a breeze blew through the garage, that he realized he didn't only smell the dense forest and the various scents of the garage. It carried a faint smell of vanilla and lavender. But it wasn't just that, it was mixed with pine and rosemary. He bristled at the realization, the unique combination meant one thing and one thing only. It had been weeks since he last saw you there’s no way his scent would hang out on you that long unless…

Suddenly nothing else mattered except what you had to say. He wanted to help, to try and make the situation better. So he started to speak, to try and break this ice. But just like you had done weeks prior you beat him to the punch. 

“I’m pregnant”. 

The visible look of relief caused him to calm down, the last thing he wanted in this situation was for you to be stressed out. And the thought of you being so scared to talk to him broke his heart a little bit if he was being honest. 

“Is it mine?”. 

Paul could have ended it all in that moment. Why was he like this? 

He knew it was his, he had definitive proof, and he chose to play the idiot and make the woman who was carrying his child feel worse than she already did. 

“What the hell are you suggesting Paul? Yes it's yours, I wouldn't be telling you if it wasn't”. You crossed your arms across your chest, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable and exposed. The confidence meter has fully run out. 

“Yeah no yeah. That um makes sense, I’m sorry. That was a real jackass thing to say. Of course you wouldn't tell me if it wasn't mine”. Paul rubbed the back of his neck as he rambled, avoiding eye contact with you. The magic inside of him was screaming at him, his instincts to protect almost taking over what little composure he held. 

He hadn't planned on telling you about the bond you shared. At least not for a while. 

You were still kinda new to town, and it wasn't fair to derail your life because you had decided to be a kind person and drop Emily off just a few weeks after you had moved. The bond had set in that day, as he was leaving Emily’s house and heading out to his truck. His eyes had darted up upon hearing Em’s voice and what he hadn't expected was to almost fall flat on his face. 

Because for a split second, the two of you made eye contact, it was fleeting and you had returned your eyes to your friend immediately. It had meant nothing to you and everything to him. 

Since that day he vowed to protect you but also to not act selfish and to allow you to make your own decisions.  Which is why he couldn't help but feel horrible. He had ruined your life. 

Paul thinks back to that night, running his mind over every minute, had you been drunk? He had only used that as an excuse to drive you home. But if you had been too intoxicated to make coherent decisions he would never forgive himself. 

“Yeah that was a real jackass thing to say”, you sniffled proud of yourself for not bursting out into heavy sobs. Because in all honesty while it felt like a physical blow hearing him question your morals he was handling the situation better than you would have if you were in his position. It was a fair question, you had only slept together once. 

The next few minutes seemed to pass slowly. After standing there basking in the awkward silence he told you to wait a second and walked into the attached office. You did as he said, too nervous to take the opportunity and leave. He returned a few moments later with much cleaner hands and a small smile graced his face. God, how you were growing to love that smile. 

“Boss told me to head out for the day, don't worry I only told him that I need to take a certain pretty girl out to lunch”, he sent you a wink as he slammed the lid on the toolbox down. Your cheeks grew warm at the compliment, even with how pg it was. I mean this man got you pregnant but him calling you pretty had your chest hammering. 

His hand found its way to the small of your back as he walked, ushering you out of the garage so he could lower the bay door. Once it was down he turned to face you with a smirk replacing the kind smile from earlier. 

“Come on doll, looks like I gotta feed my baby mama”. He howled with laughter as the small tinge of red on your cheeks turned into your whole face going crimson. “Oh this is gonna be fun”, he said through his laughs. 

His warmth on your skin brought you back to that state of peace that you remembered so fondly. You let him lead you towards his truck, thanking him as he shut your door. 

As Paul jogged to the driver's side a smile fought against the smirk. This wasn't how he pictured everything going but he wasn't mad. It wasn't like he got some random girl pregnant, no he got you pregnant. And while you may believe that you were just a random girl to him that was not how he felt. But he wasn't going to tell you that, at least not right now. The last thing he wanted to do was stress you out even more than you already were. 

So he was going to wait. 

He could learn to be content with you being in his life as a girlfriend, or even just the mother of his child. And when the time was right he would tell you.

But for now, he could wait.