#i doubt they will be successful in fa

[the-physicality]

..

[someonegoood]

MY WHOLE LIFE pt. 1 ✫ mason mount

part 1, part 2, final part.

in which you have a fat crush on your brother’s best friend, without getting much success. (brother’s best friends troop).

CONTAINS: brother’s best friend troop, angst & fluff ! age gap, arguments...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is my first work here but anyways i hope you guys like it ! maybe I'll do a part 2...

You watch proudly in his shirt as you clap in the game's first minutes, chanting while taking pictures of him.

The first half was pretty equal, with some shots from both teams but neither could score. You could see that Mason was getting nervous. He stopped his movements abruptly when the referee called for a corner and looked at the crowd, his eyes sparkling with tenseness.

He gazed down at where his family (and therefore also yours) was and licked his lips. You couldn't help but wonder what would your brother think of your little —huge— crush on his childhood best friend.

In the 34th minute, he passed the defenders and tried to score with a pass from Ben Chilwell, making the goalkeeper lose his balance and thus scoring.

You celebrated the goal screaming it to your brother's face and he couldn’t help but smile at you, happy that you were having a good time. Your cheeks were red after Mason approached the stands and celebrated the goal, dedicating a kiss to where you were.

And that was the effect that Mason Mount had on people, especially you.

Mason was your brother's best friend, you had known him for years. It was a stupid crush that all your friends grew out of but not you. You had to keep drooling every time he was near you, that being almost every day because your brother had him over to dinner nearly every night.

You remember the day the Mount family moved next to your house, a loud and proud British family— Debbie and Tony, Stacey, Lewis and Mason. The day after they had moved in, Debbie and Tony turned up outside your door, asking if your older brother was interested in playing football with Mason.

It didn’t take long for your brother to become close to Mason, both at the cusp of boyhood. Their friendship only bloomed from there.

After spending almost every weekend watching your brother and Mason training, to spending most afternoons around the Mount house playing, you felt like family.

You always found yourself drawn to the boy next door although he was away a lot of the time, playing different matches and training. Mason’s natural affinity and talent for the game, ensured the quality of his skills.

He was slightly older so no doubt he found you childish and would always moan when his parents made him spend time with you.

—Mom, not again! I don't want to play with her, she's boring! —Mason exclaimed with an expression of obvious annoyance on his face.

Mason's mother was the first to figure out your crush on the boy. She first noticed it when you joined the Mounts at a family dinner when you were around thirteen.

Both families were playing football, as usual, while the adults were preparing supper. When you had the ball you felt your body lean way too far back and Mason tried to act on impulse, stretching his body to catch you in time.

—Hold on to me! —Mason exclaimed, extending his arms towards you. However, the weight of the fall was too much, and in an instant, they were both on the grass, in some sort of mess.

—Mase, God, I'm so sorry! I dragged you with me! —you apologized, feeling the blood rise to your cheeks, turning them crimson red.

He brushed the grass off his jacket with an angry expression. —Well done. First minutes into the game and you're already annoying.

—Thanks for trying! —you laughed, shyly. When there was a long silence, you realized that Mason was not joking and was serious. —Sorry, I…

Debbie looked from afar at the little girl carefully while she kept her eyes glued to her son's. She watched her cute little cheeks tinted red as Mason scoffed and begged you to stay away from him.

Debbie would soon get used to it as she watched you fall in love with her son over the next few years.

Until your first boyfriend. An age difference of three years was not a big deal since it was a common factor among your friend's partners. You had recently turned sixteen years old and you thought that you had met the boy who could take you out of the charm that had her wrapped around Mase.

Lyon was older, he was eighteen years old, like Mason. You had met him at school on a spring afternoon. You walked through the school hallways, books clutched to your chest. A gust of wind caused some of the books to fly out of your hands, scattering them across the hallway floor.

Lyon was passing by and noticed the scene. He approached you with a smile and that is how the story started.

Your brother didn't approve of your new boyfriend. He knew that her sister just wanted to show his best friend that the age difference wasn't that important.

Being with Lyon was great at first. You knew that he was not the love of your life, but for the moment he seemed to play the role quite well, so that was fine with you. It was a Friday night and you and your brother were at a party at the house of one of your brother's friends.

You were downstairs in the kitchen while your friends watched you drink alcohol like there was no tomorrow. They realized something was bothering you, but decided not to mention it.

—Where is the lover boy anyway? —Spoke one of your friends.

Your lack of response was when they realized that Lyon was the reason for the sadness that was painted on their best friend's face. He abandoned you, once again. This seems routine, they thought.

You slammed your empty red glass against the kitchen counter, wiping the drip from your chin as you decided that was enough.

—I'll go look for him.

From the corner of the room, your brother wished you good luck and with courage, you stumbled through the party. The house was huge. Enormous windows covered the entire house. From the kitchen window you could see the river of lights going down to the beach.

And there he sat, on the stairs leading to the illuminated outdoor pool, Lyon. A thin blonde girl was sitting on his lap, probably older than you. She took the cigarette from Lyon's lips and placed it on top of her painted red lips.

Tears welled in your eyes as you returned to the house with your heels in hand. With all the bad luck in the world, as you returned, you heard in the background:

—Baby, relax. —You ignored your boyfriend's call as you made your way through the crowd to return to the kitchen, hoping that your brother was still there.

You made it to the kitchen before your boyfriend grabbed you by the back of your arm and pushed you against the kitchen island.

—Come on, I didn't even do anything—

—She was on your lap.

—It's not that serious, okay?—

—It's a big problem! I'm humiliated! —You shouted back, creating a scene you desperately wanted to avoid. Lyon's grip tightened around your arm as he tried to wriggle out of your grasp.

—Let go of me, you're hurting me. —That only made his grip tighten around your arms.

—Let her go, mate. —Your vision was too blurry to focus on what happened next, but you felt Lyon back away.

—Oh yeah?… and what are you going to do about it, Mount? —That's when the punches were thrown and Lyon was left hunched over holding his split lip. Your now ex-boyfriend was grabbed by someone else before he could lunge at who you assumed was your brother, but when you turned your head you saw Mason shaking your hand out of pain.

His knuckles were red and his eyes were darker than what you were used to.

—Let's go to the car. —Said Mason, you nodding your head. —Get in the car. —He said. His tone was strong, not what she was used to.

Still, the ride to your house was silent, you sitting in the front with Mase, while your brother passed out in the back seat. Faint English music played on the radio as Mason's eyes were firmly fixed on the road.

Mason finally spoke. —You really don't know how to choose them, don’t you? — You could only sob again, unable to answer him mainly because he was right and you were ashamed. When the car stopped, he unbuckled his seat belt and murmured that he would walk you to your door.

Mase rocked on his heels as he watched the moonlight highlight the tear-stained cheeks of his best friend's sister. He thought you looked beautiful that night even though you had been crying for the last half hour, your hair hadn't been brushed, and you were digging through your purse like crazy.

Although he would never admit it.

—I got them! —You laughed, waving your keys in the air before bumping your nose with the keychain. You paused as you pushed the key into the door, turning to look Mason in the eye for the first time since the party.

—Thank you. —Mason didn't want to hear it. You were just her best friend’s sister.

—It's no big deal. —

—No… really thank you, Mason. —you smiled and Mason listened too, mainly because it was probably the first time you had called him Mason and not Mase.

After a moment, you dropped your bag to the floor and wrapped your arms around the boy's waist, your head resting on his chest as he quickly moved his hand and rubbed your back.

—Just... make sure the next one isn't a complete idiot, yeah? —he whispered, his chin resting on the top of your head.

That sentence broke your poor little heart.

[creepswrites]

TIRED OF RUNNING (CH 2) | Sinclairs x Reader

THIS IS THE COOLEST OMG thank you so much for 1000 followers!!! :D i know this may be silly but this is a big thing for me and i'm super happy about this!! to celebrate, i finally finished ch 2!! i hope you guys enjoy and that it was worth the wait!

SINCLAIR BROTHERS x GN!READER (they/them)

SUMMARY: Before Bo could answer, they were interrupted by a soft groan of pain as your ex lifted his head to try and take in his surroundings. Lester wondered what it looked like to him - the walls covered in wax, the unbearable heat, the churning of the big machine that'd soon encase him in his own wax prison. He hoped the man was terrified. He deserved to be, after all he put you and the boys through.

WARNING: graphic violence, child abuse, suicide

PREV || NEXT

Vincent slammed the door of the car as he stormed up to the front of the house, ignoring Bo's weak protests as he followed hot on his twin's heels. "Vince, it ain't my fault Mama's sick! What, you want her to jus' waste away and die?!"

The other man spun hard on his heel, managing to glare daggers even behind the wax mask. His hands moved harshly as he signed and ignored the way Bo sighed with annoyance. "You KNOW how important college is to me! Or, more accurately, was. Mama wanted me to be successful, I shouldn't have let you pull me back to this hellhole."

Bo scoffed. "I didn't want ya back either, believe me. But I'm the only one providin' for this fuckin' family and her medical bills're pilin' up, Vince! The money Pa gave ya for school could be used to help her! Y'know, the only woman who ever gave a damn about you-!"

He was cut off harshly as Vincent's fist smashed into his jaw with a hard cracking sound. He grunted as he took a knee to the stomach and collapsed to the pavement. Vincent climbed atop him and wailed on his face in anger, trying to ignore the tears that stung his eyes as he unleashed years and years of pent up anger onto his twin. Besides, even if Mama was cognisant enough to ask him about the bloody nose or black eye, she'd never believe it was Vincent who put them there. Her sweet angel Vinny hitting Bo? Surely not. 

Bo had always been the "evil" twin, after all.

By the time his anger ran dry, so had the blood caking Bo's face and Vincent's knuckles. They both panted heavily as Vincent stood on shaking legs, offering a hand to the other to pull him up. Angry or not, they were still brothers. And unlike Bo, he had some amount of compassion for others. Even if he'd just broken their nose.

He got a glare in response but Bo took the hand anyway. "You were always a fuckin' bitch," he grumbled as they both made their way back into the house. "You hit fuckin' hard too, the hell'd you learn to fight like that?"

Vincent made his way to the kitchen to wash off the blood. He pointedly kept his eyes off his twin as he scrubbed his hands, wincing slightly when they began to bleed again with newfound vigor. He searched the drawers for gauze and began to wrap his knuckles, fresh red staining the white wraps quickly. "I learnt from you." He signed once his hands were bandaged.

Bo just glared at him, pulling up a chair to sit in the center of the kitchen. "Gonna be hard to explain to Mama what happened, y'know."

Vincent let out a snort of laughter before setting up shop to bandage his brother's face. "She doesn't even talk anymore," he signed aggressively. "Doubt she'll waste her dying breath to ask who broke your face. Maybe she'll think you're handsome this way." He dropped his hands to grab peroxide and wet a cotton ball with it.

"Guess you'd be an expert in broken faces, huh?" Bo hissed out as Vincent dabbled at his face.

He just clenched his jaw and resisted the urge to smash all of Bo's teeth in as he cleaned up the cuts and blood from the other's face. They were silent after that, the only sounds in the kitchen coming from the leaky faucet and Bo's pained sounds. He didn't feel bad for breaking his face and relished in the fact cleaning him up hurt just as bad if not more.

They'd just finished bandaging his face when they heard their mother start screaming upstairs. Morphine must've run out, Vincent sighed internally. The twins locked in a heated staring match, a silent argument about who was going upstairs. With an exasperated sigh, Vincent finally relented and stomped upstairs to give Bo time to lick his wounds.

Pushing open the door to their mother's room was just as horrible as he remembered. Trudy Sinclair had once been a phenomenal artist, a great creator, and an average mother. Now here she was, reduced to a husk of a person hooked up to tubes and wires that kept her from immediately keeling over. The room smelt like a hospital all compressed down into one, tiny, suffocating room. Vincent was momentarily glad the mask hid his face so he could screw his face up in disgust without his mother seeing. She could only watch with wide eyes as her son's bloody bandaged hands changed her bags to get a fresh dose of morphine coursing through her veins as soon as possible.

He wondered if she'd ask him to put her out of her misery if she could still speak. Damn their father for dying before he could fix her vocal cords. Though maybe it's better she can't speak, he thought as he noticed how her eyes fixed on his hands. Who knows what she'd say if she could.

A large part of him didn't really care.

…

"Vince?" Bo's voice snapped Vincent from his stupor and he glanced over his shoulder, knives in hand. He gave a curt nod and Bo just sighed. The three met back up in the kitchen after arming themselves, listening to your ex wail on the door and heard his friends trying to sneak around to the back of the house. "Alright, I'll take the front, Vinny'll sneak 'round the side through the House of Wax. Lester, you got the back. We kill each and every one'a those fuckin' bastards but leave him alive. I got somethin' special in mind."

Lester cheered in excitement, checking the shotgun was loaded before tilting his hat. "See ya when the smoke clears."

"Don't have too much fun," Vincent signed with one hand as he retreated down into the basement to kill the lights. The dark would give Lester good cover and let Bo get the chance to surprise the ones at the door. He slid the knives into their holsters at his sides and fiddled with the breakers, shutting down everything in the town.

Time to go hunting. He hurried down the tunnel towards the House of Wax.

...

Their mothers funeral had been beautiful. Her open casket funeral had the whole town of Ambrose visiting, lamenting the loss of their talented artist. Vincent spent the day squeezing Lester's hand while he cried, fresh out of high school and still their baby brother. Bo greeted people and was a sociable host. Vincent had only been back in town for two months before their mother passed and a part of him was relieved to be here for Lester. Neither he or Bo were bad brothers to Lester but he knew Bo wouldn't be there for their little brother's emotional needs. Losing both their father and now mother over the span of three years hit them all pretty hard.

Bo played the role of the sociable host, greeting people and accepting sympathetic words with a hollow, tired smile. He'd occasionally shoot glances at his brothers who stood off to the side against the wall and silently admired Vincent's ability to pretend to grieve. He knew Lester's sorrows were real but he and Vince had long since made peace with their mother's death long before she even died.

He also knew Vincent still resented him for dragging him home.

When the guests began to clear out, the twins took a moment to stand over their mother's casket. Bo still looked nice in his fitted suit. So did Vincent, although he'd discarded the jacket ages ago. For a while, neither of them said anything. They didn't have to. Call it twin intuition or whatever, they were able to have a silent conversation in a language only they knew. Quietly, Vincent slouched over to bump their shoulders together in a gentle display of affection before quickly righting himself, like he was worried they'd get in trouble if they were caught getting along.

"Yknow, Mama said she wanted to make a whole damn museum outta this town," Bo broke the silence with a wistful sigh. "Said Ambrose was becomin' a dead town and she wanted to make a Town 'a Wax. Then she got sick, because of course she did."

"Your point?" Vincent signed.

Bo turned to look at him properly. "Let's give her what she wanted, yeah? Least we can do for her. She taught you all her tricks 'n you'll be able to do art again." He grinned at Vincent like he'd come up with something great. "Think about it, Vinny. The Town of Wax, just like Mama wanted! We could finally make her proud."

Vincent shook his head quickly, fidgeting nervously with the ends of his hair. It was beginning to grow out more. He liked it long, despite their Pa insisting he keep it short. "She never taught me how to make full statues like she could. I'd need a base of some sort to make people. Otherwise it'll just be too much wasted wax, since they'd have to be filled figures. I just can't do hollow structures." His hands moved slowly so Bo could keep up. While, yes, their mother did hope for Vincent to take over for her one day, their lessons had been cut short when she got sick. Besides, Vincent had always preferred painting over sculpting.

But Bo had a point. Fulfilling her wishes would be nice.

"Shit, yeah," Bo said as he crossed his arms in thought. And then an idea came to him. Dark, twisted, and certainly coming from years of resentment towards the woman who lay dead before them. "You jus' need somethin' human-like, yeah?"

Vincent nodded once.

"I bet we got ourselves a perfectly good base sittin' right here."

Lester slipped out the back, shushing Jonesy to be quiet. Her growls were loud in the dark, silent space as he listened to the sounds of footsteps. He prided himself on being a damn good hunter so he guessed, based on the amount of steps, there were about four people sneaking around either side in hopes of scaling the fence. Excellent.

The fences were old wood that were certainly in need of replacement at this point. The only reason Jonesy didn't get out every day was because she simply wasn't aware of their weakness. Lester was momentarily grateful for the bushes that surrounded the fences because it let him know that the two on the left were hopping over.

He stood up from behind the wrought iron backyard table and fired.

... 

The day their dad disappeared had been a lot of frantic energy and screaming. Lester had only been sixteen at the time and Bo and Vince had just turned twenty-one. Mama's condition was getting worse and worse every day, her pain so terrible she couldn't even move from bed anymore. Her vocal cords had been shredded from her screaming and their Pa kept dodging the boy's attempts to get him to fix it. Some doctor he was. 

But Lester didn't mind it so much anymore. Going upstairs to visit Mama in bed had just become part of the routine now. Bo had gotten a job at the autoshop while Vincent was off in college. It was summer break so he'd come back home to help with household stuff that their father insisted was a woman's job. He never bothered to help. All he did was drink and disappear into his office to do nothing.

He wasn't stupid. Vincent and Bo weren't exactly quiet when they argued with their father about medical bills when they thought Lester couldn't hear them. He'd gotten a part time job cleaning roadkill to help pitch in but he knew it wasn't enough.

Their dad was already missing when they'd all woken up. They got the whole town to search the nearby forests, Bo took his truck around the back roads, and Lester searched with Vincent on foot. About an hour in, Bo showed back up at the house, ordering his brothers to get in the car. They'd just pulled out of the driveway when Vincent began questioning him with a flurry of hand movements. "Where is he? What did you find?"

"Vince, I can't look at you and drive."

"He asked where is he an' what ya found." Lester chimed in from the backseat, leaning forward to hover anxiously over the center console. He wanted a better view than the backseat windows.

Bo didn't answer and Lester felt his stomach sink.

Only a few miles from Ambrose, Lester spotted their fathers truck parked in a ditch and let out a quiet gasp. "Is that-?"

"Stay in the car, Les." Bo grunted as he and Vince got out of the truck.

"Fuck that!" He shot back, clambering out before Bo could lock the doors. "He's my dad too!"

Bo shared a look with Vincent and gave a resigned sigh. "Fine, whatever, keep up," he motioned for his brothers to follow. He led the way into the treeline, not even wincing when the stray twigs and branches sliced at his arms and legs..

After what felt like an eternity, they finally broke into the large, open field just past all the brush, Lester nearly took off running. Luckily, Vincent sensed that and grabbed him around the middle before he could get far.

Their father stood in the center of the field, one of his ornate pistols clenched tight in his fist and his head tilted up to stare at the sky. No one had thought to check the little glass case back home.

Everything happened in a rapid blur of chaos and terror from that point. Lester remembered Bo and their Pa getting into yet another screaming match while Vincent did his best to keep Lester from getting near the two. He'd clutched him to his chest and kept his back to Bo and their Pa, forcing Lester's face into the front of his sweater with a stern hold. He remembered protesting, wanting to go see their Pa and ask if he was okay. Vincent shook his head and held his head tighter.

Vincent's voice cracked and wheezed from disuse. "Don't look." He choked out with a cough.

The words sent a chill up Lester's spine and he clutched onto his older brother with as he tried to argue.

A deafening gunshot rang out in the open field and Lester shrieked in horror, fighting harder against Vincent's hold to try and see what happened. The heavy thud of a body ripped a sob from him and his brother's gentle shushing was doing nothing to soothe him. His ears were ringing and Bo was screaming but he didn't sound like he was hurt.

When he finally tore away from Vincent, his heart dropped to his stomach.

Their father lay in the grass, the green stained with bright red blood and brain matter. Bo was running a hand through his hair, tears streaming down his cheeks and blood splattering his face. How close had he been? Lester ran to him, narrowly dodging Vincent's attempts to hold him back.

Bo caught him this time, dragging him off and screaming at Lester to get back. 

…

The intruder's screaming was quickly silenced as Jonesy began to tear at their necks. Lester whistled her to step back, not wanting to ruin Vincent's models too much. The other man always got so pissy whenever he had to play makeshift doctor to get them to a presentable state. A shot through the head was usually easy for him but all their running and screaming had him distracted. He cocked the gun with a heavy clunk and aimed at the other two on the right who were trying to run.

The gun fired again.

…

Lester stood in front of his father's grave clutching the antler of a deer. Blinking back tears, he let out a shaky breath. "Hey Pa," his voice a wet whisper when he finally managed to choke out words. "I, uh, talked with Bo 'n Vinny today. They, um, told me 'bout what life was like growin' up with you. How you used to stap Bo to a chair to get him to eat." He sniffed and wiped his eyes with his sleeves. "I used to look up to ya, y'know? Vincent always had Mama an' I know ya didn't like Bo much, so I," he swallowed back a whimper, "I tried to be your lil' guy, but…"

Tears began to fall as a sob wracked his body. "Damnit, why'd ya have to do Bo like that?! Thought he got the scars from fightin', not from you hurtin' him! Ain't no wonder he hated ya so much…"

Lester threw the antler at the gravestone, glaring through his tears as it cracked into pieces and fell to the dirt below. The sight only made Lester angrier, wishing he could've thrown something at his father before he became rot beneath wet soil. Maybe that would've taught him regret. Maybe. He didn't want to place bets on a losing horse.

"He wanted to save ya, y'know? Even in the end, he was beggin' ya not to do it." He grimaced at the memory, like the mere idea of saving their father now disgusted him. "Been a year now and I still… I still wish you loved us enough to stay. But we weren't good enough for ya, huh? Ain't never been, yeah?"

He fell to his knees in front of the grave, grabbing a piece of the antler and scratching at the stone, relishing in the way some pieces of the letters chipped off. Served him right. He didn't deserve to be remembered.

Pa said nothing in response and paid Lester no mind. Just like always.

…

Catching and killing the others had been painfully easy. In a matter of minutes, the three brothers had the bodies piled like wood in the basement, bullet holes in their heads steadily bleeding out. Whatever, Bo brushed it off, Vince'll clean it up later if it bothers him so much.

But one man stood apart from the rest. Very alive and tied to the chair with only a minor bump to the head. Just like he'd wanted.

"We got a lotta new faces for the museum," Lester called to Bo with a wide grin on his face. "'m still a damn good shot too."

"What will we do with him?" Vincent signed, ignoring Lester and gesturing to your ex.

Bo gave his brothers a dark smile. "Well, obviously, we can't keep 'im alive. But killin' 'im quickly is too kind."

Lester leant against the nearby work table like a child listening to something fascinating, his face resting on his hands that were propped up on his elbows. "Whaddya thinki' then?"

Before Bo could answer, they were interrupted by a soft groan of pain as your ex lifted his head to try and take in his surroundings. Lester wondered what it looked like to him - the walls covered in wax, the unbearable heat, the churning of the big machine that'd soon encase him in his own wax prison. He hoped the man was terrified. He deserved to be, after all he put you and the boys through.

"Where am I?" Your ex slurred out, trying to lift his head.

"Yer own personal hell." Bo said with an unkind smile. "Punishment for yer sins, I'd reckon."

"W-wha?" He mumbled, trying to think. The head injury was clearly making it difficult though.

Vincent grabbed his hair to tilt his head up for a better look. "Don't remember?" Bo spoke up again. "Pretty thing with two lil' tykes? Ain't ringin' a bell?"

His eyes widened and he swallowed. "You know 'em?" He stammered, glancing around the room. "They put you up to this? Listen, you don't know the whole story, they-"

"They're upstairs sleepin' without a care in the world. We're gonna make sure they get good dreams goin' forward, once you're dead." Lester loudly interrupted. "Vinny, feel like strappin' this guy up?"

Vincent pulled a knife out from his sheath and began to trace the underside of your ex's jaw with the point, like he was daydreaming about stabbing the knife through his tongue and up into his brain.

"Easy, Vinny," Bo said as though soothing an animal. "All in due time. Still got stuff to do, remember?"

"Stuff to- Stuff to do?" You ex stammered as fear finally made itself clear in his hazy mind.

Lester tilted his head with a sigh, sliding out of his seat to stand. "Y'know, he ain't very bright."

Bo shrugged. "Ain't our place to judge our guest's type. 'sides, ain't exactly like we're catches."

"Says you, 'm pretty as hell." Lester laughed, only increasing in volume when Bo smacked the hat off his head. 

Vincent watched them with an exasperated eye roll before turning back to his new victim.

"Now, under normal circumstances, we'd let Vinny here do his thing," Bo said slowly as he began to search Vincent's assortment of tools, "But this here's a special occasion. We ain't take kindly to child abusers 'round here. So we're gonna give ya what's coming for ya 'fore you burn in hell."

Their prisoner began to fight against his bonds, shaking his head. "No, no, you don't get it, they tried to baby trap me! I never wanted kids, they forced me to-!"

Vincent didn't hold back the backhand he gave him, hissing under his breath at the stinging left behind.

"I'm gonna pretend I ain't just hear you lying to me," Bo said. The calm evenness of his voice never failed to unsettle his personal victims and he could tell your ex was squirming as his cheek began to blossom into a bruise. "If you're goin' to hell, you better go an honest man, yeah?"

Bo turned around, brandishing a pair of pliers and a wild, terrifying smile.

"Let's begin."

You jolted awake with a sharp gasp, covered in a thin layer of sweat that left you feeling sticky. Nightmares have become commonplace to you at this point. Your ex haunted your dreams, stealing away your boys or, god forbid, hurting them again… It never fails to leave you shaking and gasping for breath every time. Tonight, though, you'd dreamt of your ex and his friends showing up and your hosts throwing you out to the wolves, believing the sly, honey-sweet words of your abuser over your pleas.

The mere idea of that left you feeling sick and scared.

Despite that, a yawn escaped you as you shook your head as though to shake off the lingering fear of the nightmare. You gave a glance at the window and frowned at how dark it still was outside. The digital clock on your bedside revealed it was barely past 3am. God, it felt so much later than that.

You turned to look over at your boys, fast asleep in the little blanket and pillow cocoon you'd made them to sleep in so they could be on the bed. The blue night light cast dark shadows on their face and you stared at them until your eyes burned from lack of blinking. They were so soft and fragile, your heart divided in two just for these two boys. You'd burn the world down to keep them safe.

You pressed soft kisses to both their foreheads and slid carefully out of bed. The room was exactly as you left it, dark and only illuminated by a little star night light that must've once been Lester's. It was cute, you smiled to yourself. The blue walls were covered in posters for bands you didn't recognize and a few well-known horror films. He also had a small, ornate frame of pinned butterflies over the door. It suited him, the longer you thought about it.

Quietly, you opened the door and crept out into the hallway. The twins' bedroom doors were closed and you sighed internally that they were asleep. That meant you likely hadn't cried out when you awoke.

The stairs creaked and groaned as you slunk downstairs, wincing at every noise you made. In such a quiet space, the sounds were deafening.

"Y'alright?" A tired, low voice spoke up.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard Lester talk. You'd forgotten he was set up downstairs and all the noise must've woken him up. You couldn't see him in the dark but you shot a smile in the direction of the couch anyways. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Nah," Lester sighed as though stretching, "Can't sleep, 'sall." And, with a soft click, he turned on the nearby lamp. Warm yellow light bathed the downstairs, dark shadows reminiscent of the ones on your boy's faces, you thought to yourself as you looked at Lester.

"I could make us tea." You hugged yourself to try and fight off that usual nighttime chill. "Might help us both sleep."

Lester gave you a nod and smiled shyly. "Yeah, yeah, sounds great Sweetpea."

When you disappeared into the kitchen, he let out the breath he'd been holding. Quietly, he grabbed his sheathed knife that he'd left on the table and hid it under the couch as he stood up to follow you. The kitchen was still dim, even with the light of the lamp stretching out into the quiet space.

"What's got you awake?" He whispered while creeping up behind you. "Kids causin' a fuss?"

You let out a sigh while rooting around for a couple of mugs. "No, no, just… Nightmares."

Lester frowned even though you couldn't see it. "What kind?"

"Bad ones," you said while pouring some water into the two mugs and glancing around for the microwave. "Ones where he comes and hurts me or the kids. Or ones where people throw me back to him despite my pleas not to."

"I'd kick his ass for ya, y'know that right?" Lester said, his voice much closer now.

You finally looked over your shoulder and you couldn't help the butterflies his words gave you. "Yeah," your voice was quiet and you loved the way he seemed to soften. "Yeah, I know you would."

"'m serious. My brothers would too. We ain't gonna let him getcha here, promise." He seemed insistent, which raised a concern for you. You got the feeling something had happened that you weren't aware of yet.

But anxiety suffocated you. "Did, um," you swallowed anxiously as you turned back around to drum your fingers anxiously on the edge of the kitchen sink, "Did he… come by?"

A beat of silence. It felt like it went on for hours when it was only a short minute, yet you felt suffocated all the same. "No." Lester said slowly, as though trying to choose his words carefully. "No, he ain't been here."

You didn't believe him.

Then you were presented with a choice. Play it cool or freak out. Neither of which were great options but you liked your odds better if you just played nice and pretended to believe him. All you had to do was play along until the fan belt Bo ordered for you arrived and then you could leave.

If your ex wasn't here in the house then that meant he was somewhere nearby. But, based on Lester's tone, he knew where he was and wasn't telling you. That didn't sit well in your stomach but you swallowed it down and nodded. "Okay. Good."

So the two of you sat against the counters drinking tea in the dark. He happily made small talk while you nodded and listened to the trials and tributes that came with being a roadkill cleaner.

He'd been in the middle of telling you a story about a fawn with a broken leg when the basement door swung open with a heavy thud. You nearly jumped out of your skin as you shrieked, staring at the shape moving in the beacon that was the yellow basement lights.

Vincent froze in place, staring at you through the eye holes of his mask. One of his hands was wrapped crudely in a bandage and the other held a pointed carving knife. On instinct, you ducked behind Lester while peering over his shoulder at the other man, watching Vince tilt his head almost comically.

"He says he's sorry for scarin' ya." Lester said with a chuckle. "Y'alright?"

"Sorry," you sighed, bumping your forehead in the space between his shoulder blades. "Just… high strung, I guess."

Lester hummed. "Can't imagine what you've been through. I promise, things'll be easier for ya from now on."

You couldn't help but feel that as an omen of some kind. Though you weren't sure if it was good or bad.

The next time you woke up, it was morning. Sunlight peered through the blinds and hit you in the eyes, making you wince as you yawned. It felt later than you usually slept in and it struck you that no one had woken you up wanting breakfast or attention.

Realizing the boys weren't with you, you shot up from the bed and took off downstairs. All you could focus on was your pounding heart and desperate need to find your boys.

You came to a halt when you heard laughter and voices. When you stepped off the stairs, you went straight for the kitchen and sighed with relief.

Peter and Mikey were playing at the table while Lester was making breakfast in the kitchen. Vincent had Peter in his lap who was coloring with crayons at the kitchen table while Bo sat with Mikey and helped him in lining up his dinosaur toys in front of the couch.

For the past few years since the boys came into your lives, your ex had outright refused on multiple occasions to bond with them. Peter and Mikey had learnt quickly that, when their father was around, they had to be silent and obedient.

So seeing them openly playing and laughing made you feel dizzy. While he was nowhere near, you still worried that your ex was going to round the corner and slap Mikey for getting his toys everywhere or yell at Peter for being too loud.

It felt like a weight had been lifted at the sight of them being happy.

Peter saw you and practically leapt off Vincent's lap and ran over to show you his drawings. "Dinosaurs!" He beamed up at you with pride and you could definitely tell where Vincent had done rough outlines to let him color in. The gesture was sweet and you couldn't help but smile.

"They're very nice!" You cooed as you gave Peter a kiss on the cheek.

"Breakfast'll be ready soon!" Lester called out over the sound of sizzling bacon. "Wash your hands, I ain't lettin' y'all get sick. Lord knows where Bo's been." He teased and grinned over his shoulder at his brothers. He softened when he saw you but quickly resumed cooking.

You let the twins pair off to wash up and joined Lester in the kitchen instead. "Didn't take ya for the cooking type."

Lester gave a little chuckle. "What, ya think 'cuz I clean streets, I can't cook? Mama taught me how, said it'd be good for me to learn so I ain't dependin' on her forever. Said I ain't allowed to get married to some girl 'n rely on her for everythin'."

"She sounds like a great mom." You said wistfully, approaching Lester slowly to watch him work. Eggs, bacon, pancakes beginning to stack up…

"Nah," Bo's voice from behind surprised you. Peter was in his arms, head slumped against Bo's shoulder as he stared ahead at nothing. "She wasn't all that great."

Lester didn't say anything to that.

You decided not to bring it up at breakfast.

"Store's jus' down the corner, can't miss it." Bo said, not even looking up from the television. He and Lester were watching a game when you'd offered to go get groceries as a thanks for them housing you and making you food.

They'd protested but, eventually, Vincent had suggested he go with. You hadn't liked the look they all shared but you didn't have time to dwell on it, too focused on trying to get Peter to stand still long enough to put his shoes on.

When you, Vincent, and the boys ventured outside, you were struck at how empty the town felt.

Even for a small town, you expected to see at least a few people walking around, right?

But everything felt deserted as you followed Vincent down the sidewalk towards the little general store. The boys stayed close, alternating between holding yours and each other's hands as you walked. Things got stranger and stranger the more you walked - street lights didn't work, there was no sound coming from any of the houses, and you swear that a woman across the street has peeked over at you twice in the past few seconds…

"Hey, Vincent?" You asked slowly, coming to a stop a good few feet away. Something was very, very wrong about this place and it was becoming more difficult to ignore. "What's… what's going on?"

He looked over his shoulder at you before tilting his head. You wished you had a way to communicate better but your sign language was rusty at best and his hands moved too quick for you to follow clearly.

You felt multiple pairs of eyes on you and you couldn't help but whip your head around before your eyes caught on the display case beside you. A few figures stood displaying different outfits outside what seemed to be a clothes store. You grimaced, never really being a fan of mannequins, and were about to turn away when you realized one of them looked distinctly like your ex, down to the terrible haircut and all.

Fear clogged your throat and you forced yourself to swallow yet again that day. It was a coincidence, surely, but it still deeply unsettled you. The boys were trying to hurry after Vincent but your grip was a vice around their little hands. "Vincent, I think I want to go ba-"

The figure's eyes darted down to meet yours.

You felt a scream in the back of your throat but all you could let out was a gasp. Stumbling backwards, you scooped up both kids in your arms as you tried to put distance between yourself and the figure. It didn't move - he didn't move - and that only made you feel sicker and sicker. "Vincent!" You shrieked, training your eyes on him where he stood unmoving. "What is this?!"

He stepped towards you, hands held up to placate you, and you felt all sense of fear begin to melt into relief as Vincent got closer. The tears of horror mixed with relief when he hugged you.

Your ex was dead. But you felt like this was just a new type of prison…

[wannaeatramyeon]

Jake Kim x Reader: Cinema

G/N. Soft and fluffy feat Big Deal a lil.

 "You on a date, boss?"

Jake says yes without missing a beat, flashing you a grin and snaking his arm around your waist.

He sees the smirk on Jason's face, the light nudge Lineman gives Brad, and the pride and approval on Jerry's face.

The grin soon melts away though, when Brad follows up with "You going to see Rocky XX too?" and Jake only just manages to hide his grimace.

The answer to that is also yes. But he would prefer to not have a date crashed by the rest of the crew.

Heavens above, you're patient enough with Big Deal and so sweet to everyone. Gotten to know the street and the occupants like the back of your hand, spending more evenings and weekends there than not. 

However. Even with how much Jake lives and breathes Big Deal, he misses some one on one time with you.

Away from everyone, he thinks as he takes in the sight of his boys in front of him. He can't exactly tell them to go away though, can he? A rare weekend off work where they get to just be.

He succumbs to his fate. 

Imagines everyone huddled on the one row together. Seated next to each other. Cosy. A family affair instead of a romantic date. Probably won't be able to sneak you some kisses here and there-

"We're not seeing Rocky!" comes the unmistakable sound of Lua's voice. "We're going to watch The Boy and The Pigeon! Enjoy your film!"

She disappears as quickly as she arrives. A whirlwind of hair and a force of nature. Giving you both a small wave, mind laser focused on reading the goddamn room and shoving the boys towards a different screen.

"B-but we already got the tickets!"

"I wanted to see Rocky XX!"

"Why does Jake think seeing Rocky is romantic anyway?!"

Why?

To be honest, the Rocky franchise died off somewhere along V. Who knows how the hell these films are still being greenlit. Nevertheless, the newest one is a low stakes film where Jake doesn't care what happens apart from you cuddling up to him and some kisses if he's lucky.

It's calculated and planned and Jake mentally pats himself on the back for how things have turned out.

Except-

What he didn't expect was the score to be good, the script to be great, the choreography to be amazing, and the acting to be even better. Neither of you could take your eyes off the screen. You laughed and cried and gasped together. 

Thoughts of cuddling and kissing and even making out completely out the window as you're both on the edge of your seat for the entire two hours.

It was fantastic. Perhaps the best movie he has ever seen (and he could practice some of those moves too).

You're both still talking about it as he walks you home-

"When he came back as a zombie to fight that vampire?"

"And the lizard joins the fight to win the title?" Jake chuckles, at your enthusiasm more than anything else, "Yeah. I liked that."

But as your apartment appears on the horizon, he can't help but think that maybe this was a bit of a waste. That the day is over and as good as the film was, maybe he should have arranged something else, after all it’s been a while since both your schedules have aligned.  A date where you can actually talk and be in each other's company. Instead of being captivated by the screen, your attention could have been held by him.

Jake tries to shake off the doubts and recapture the lighter mood from seconds ago.

He's not entirely successful.

You realise something is amiss.

You peer over at your boyfriend. His sudden subduedness. The small line forming between his eyebrows that you hate so much, because it means he's unhappy about something. You pause mid step and he stops alongside you.

"Don’t overthink it. I had fun," you tell him. You always have fun with him. "Thank you."

Jake's smile returns when he sees the expectant look in your eyes. The way you stretch up towards him. press yourself into his space, and he leans down; meeting you halfway.

Your lips lightly press to his, eyes closing, eyelashes fluttering on his cheeks and his own falling shut. Strong arms encircle you, pulling you ever closer, deepening the contact.

There'll be a next time, your kiss reassures him.

You tastes like popcorn. Sugar and butter and salt. Sweet and savoury and perfect.

[cyten0]

A Symphony in Crimson

Act 2: A Movement in White

Chapter 2-B

𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢

You look over the holding tank. Vital signs are good. Your brother’s craft monitor says their body's balance has leaned more physical, but within expected and necessary parameters. Given the Starchild has woken up more then a few times, it seems the procedure is successful, so far…

They're little more then a baby at this point. It’s no wonder they didn’t survive re-entry into the atmosphere, even with whatever they are. But You’ll give them a second chance. They're alive, and you’ll keep them that way.

𝄆 “Hey, Song! Are things going well?”

Oh! Your dad decided to come to the lab! He ruffles your hair a little.

𝄢 “Yep! They're still unconscious right now, but they have woken up a few times!”

𝄆 “We should probably give them a name.”

𝄢 “Been a bit busy keeping them alive to come up with one.”

𝄆 “You probably should. You’re technically their parent at this point! Even having as many sleepless nights as Suki did with your brother.”

𝄢 “I’m 13, I don’t think I can count as a parent.”

𝄆 “As if being young ever stopped you before?… Well if you won’t, I will! Besides, There’s still a few notes missing in everyone’s nicknames!”

Oh STARS really?!? You have got to be kidding. A literal revived falling star should not be named by one of the cheesiest naming conventions your music nerd of a dad could come up with! You feel your face shift into anger hearing that.

And blinding PERFECT, your brother rounds the corner. And he’s got that stupid smug grin for a pun!!

𝄞 “I wonder what name we could have for our local… FA-llen star?”

Pftttt…. BLIND IT!!!! You hate that you laughed at that!!! Even dad got a chuckle out of that!

𝄆 “Okay, now we HAVE to call them Fa!

✦ “...F̴͈̽ă̸̭?̶͍͗”

Huh?! Oh, their awake!

𝄞 “Hello! Do you like that name, Fa?”

✦ “F̵̪͐a̷̧͐!̵͔͒”

𝄆 “I think that’s a yes!”

… Your face shifts back… If they like it, that’s what matters...

𝄢 “...It appears I’m outvoted.”

You put your hand against the glass. You’d let them out, but that virus you used is still rather active for now. They press their tiny hands where yours are, reaching for you. They're so small and fragile. And even now, they're still adjusting to the forces you’ve put into play, to salvage their once dead body and mind into something that can live. You just hope it’s worth it in the end...

… You’ll do anything for them. Blind the Astravian faith, you don’t care how sacred a fallen star is! They deserve to live! Even if your methods are considered heresy by the entire nation. Even if it’ll take effort. Even if you have to change what they are on a fundamental level. You don’t care who comes for you both.

As long as they live, you don’t care. You will make sure they don’t have to suffer what you went through, before mom and dad saved you. Don’t have to hide away and pretend to be someone they aren’t, just because they're different. To be discarded like trash, left for dead, because people don’t blinding care. Because people are scared of what they don’t understand.

The world called them a corpse. Will call them a monster. But It’s up to them.

You will be there for them, as others were for you. And you will make sure. That they get to live, and find out who they are, without the world telling them.

𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢𝄢

As Fa hangs up the phone, you can’t help but think back on that memory. When they were still so innocent. When they had their own face and name. When the world hadn’t hurt them.

And now. Now they looked like they could barely hold themselves together. Wearing a face of someone else. You doubt they even know what Siffrin did to them...

… At least they have people near them who can help. Who seem to care for them. Who they can be themselves at least a bit around, given they had their eyes and horn out. And clearly people who love them.

❁ “Well, if the crabbing saviors of Vaugarde are with them, Think both Bonnie and your Fa should be safe enough.”

♫ “Actually, I was kind of wondering about that. Could you tell us more about what happened? If that’s okay of course! I know it must be rough!”

Nille looks at you all, scanning you all for information. As is fair, you are strangers.

❁ “...If you tell me what happened to YOUR country.”

...Reasonable. But very unpleasant. Nobody want’s to talk about it. You literally see them cringe at the idea. You all were at fault, in some way or another. Still hurting by all that occurred. Still seeing the faces of those lost… Still wishing you had done things differently...

But someone has to say it. Even though it’s horrible, and you’re scared Nille will take this tale poorly, It has to be done, and it’s better it’s done early. You can do it… But…

𝄢 “Very well, I’ll tell, but not here. Like I said before, I don’t want to stir up a panic from eavesdroppers or rumors.”

Given some people here are holding their heads, you presume SOME were listening in. But you're not trusting that wish's abilities with information like this, if you can help it.

𝄡 “...Let’s head out. Early start.”

❁ “Fine. Faster we reach Carrefour, the better.”

You all get up. You go and pay for the meal. Glad the royal treasury kept Vaugardian currency to deal with your neighbors. You then join the others on the way out.

>>>

You’ve walked for almost two hours, and are frankly exhausted. As is Mi clearly. Neither of you are used to outdoor traveling like this! Much less long treks like this!! Nille seems somewhat more adjusted, but even they aren’t fully used to it. You’d blame the vigor of youth if it wasn’t for Mi. And of course, the three blinding Bladeheart knights are completely unfazed!!!

Ugh, that's it, enough is enough.

𝄢 “Right, I’m making an executive decision. Even if it draws more attention, I don’t think I can walk any longer. Ti, PLEASE just summon the car?”

Ti smiles and nods, as the party stops walking. Ti pulls out their staff, and begins tracing their summoning sigil on the ground. You and Mi plop down, taking the moment to breathe and rest. Nille walks up to you, confused.

♪ “Called it. Re, pay up.”

♯ “Aw… Fine! Knew I shouldn’t have taken that bet.”

♪ “As if her Highness was going to make it till sunset.”

Re hands La some silver. Really? Well now you’re in irritate mode.

♫ “Thank you So.”

𝄢 “Ugh. There goes the LAST little trace of that ‘blend in’ plan. BLIND it all.”

Nille just looks at you all, very confused.

❁ “… Why are we stopping, and what’s a car?”

𝄢 “We are stopping, because I am a scientist, and as such, far more used to sitting in a lab then walking SEVERAL miles. So we are not doing this BLINDING trip on foot.”

♫ “And a car is-”

In a flash of craft power, the car slowly materializes into place on the road. Right on cue.

♫ “… That. That’s a car.”

It’s a pretty decent model. Sleek, retractable roof, and adorned with brass accents against it’s otherwise lightless body. Plenty of seating, should fit you all no issue. Not the most intense off-roader, but should be able to handle Vaugarde’s roads well enough. Does have a decent AC unit and music player, as your dad REFUSED to get one without that. Should let you all go a decent pace too, which means reaching Fa earlier, as you very DESPERATELY want to do.

And most importantly of all, it’s not more BLINDING walking.

Your face shifts back to normal just looking at it. Now, important next point.

𝄢 “Good. Alright, who’s driving, myself or Ti?”

You are never letting La or Re drive again, so that’s the only options left.

𝄡 “Best you go first. That was a big summon.”

𝄢 “Alright. Hop in everyone.”

You slowly pick yourself up from the ground, walk around to the drivers seat, and hop in. The others get in as well, though Nille seems a bit hesitant and confused. Ti puts your camping supplies in the trunk, and then hops in himself. This car is somewhat Limo-like in seating, so they can all sit in a nice circle while you stay up here on your own, until someone wants to hop into the passenger seat.

❁ “Okay, this looks really fancy, but I’m still confused. It looks like a weird carriage or something.”

♯ “That’s right on the mark! Works just like a carriage! And it’s comfy!”

❁ “Okay, but we don’t have a horse?”

Better just demonstrate. You start the car up, and it thrums to life. Nille jumps a bit at that, and you start it moving. You keep it slow and steady, as you hear them talk behind you.

❁ “Oh. Okay. So just. Magic.”

𝄢 “Just craft and some decent Astravian tech. Though I’ll admit this model is a bit more advanced then most.”

♫ “Oh, we should get some music going!”

You hear Mi pull out their guitar and plug it in. And then her ever-great music fills the car. Heh, she even has a track to play some of Fa’s vocals… You know this song, Fa sang it on their first day out. You’re so glad Mi helped them sing more often. Tracks like these remind you of better times…

As everyone relaxes, and Re shows Nille some more of the little features, you simply take in the road. Have a few more hours to go till it gets dark and you set up camp.

This is a far nicer way to travel. You keep the car going fairly slow, since these roads are built for foot traffic and carts. Slow pace means it’ll take longer, but it also means no accidentally running someone over or anything. You want to see Fa soon, but your reason wins out in the end.

After little more then a few minutes, Nille climbs over into the passenger seat.

❁ “Alright, I’ve waited long enough. You said you’d tell me about what happened to your home.”

Ah, right. Guess this is a good time as any.

𝄢 “Right, and you’d tell about what happened here. So then, you want to go first or should I? Personally I’d rather do mine after, given it’s a very sore subject.”

❁ "A sore subject after seven years?"

𝄢 "Yes. It was VERY bad. And we were... very close to it's center."

Nille thinks for a bit. They seem hesitant.

❁ “...Promise you’ll tell if I do?”

𝄢 “Of course, Promise. You deserve to know, if you're traveling with us... For many reasons.”

You see in the front mirror that Nille is looking directly at you. You wonder if they can see the guilt on your face…

❁ “Fine.”

Nille recounts to you the story of the King’s curse. How someone used what you presume to be wishcraft to slowly freeze the entire country in time. How they were powerful enough to fight off anyone sent against them. How they commanded the very sadnesses created from the trauma their actions inflicted.

How everyone was living in fear, trying to cope in their own way with the fact there was no way to stop it… How no one told her it was coming before it was on their doorstep.

❁ “… When it came by.. I didn’t know if we’d ever wake up. I… When I pushed Bonnie out of the way of the curse, called out to them to run… I thought that would be the last thing I did. When I felt that curse creeping up my legs and into my body… It was so cold, and I couldn’t move, or breathe or… or...”

You notice her shaking. You get it. Watching everything fall apart, unsure of what to do. Not sure if you’ll make it… And this curse.. It must have been horrible. They remind you of Fa, back in the day...

𝄢 “You did well. And now both of you are okay. That’s the best anyone could have asked for.”

❁ “...Yeah.”

♪ “So that’s what that timecraft was when we first arrived. Most likely wishcraft.”

❁ “Wishcraft?”

♪ “Astravian art. Turns one’s desires into the tools to make it happen. One of the few known ways to actually alter something like time. But freezing a whole country…”

𝄡 “Best ask Fa and the others how that happened. That’s a lot of power for one person.”

♯ “Yeah, even us Bladeheart knights don’t get THAT strong!”

Nille looks confused by that comment, but doesn’t seem interested enough right now to press it.

❁ “Well, it’s now your turn. What happened to your home?”

Right. This isn’t going to be easy…

You do as your brother once did. Like Ti taught you both. Breath in. And breathe out. In. And out….

Alright. Where to start…

𝄢 “… Let me start this off with the roughest part… There are no other survivors. Everyone on that island is dead or worse.”

Nille goes stiff. Trying to process that.

𝄢 “I did warn you. It’s not good… But that’s not the only reason we’re hesitant to talk about it…”

Nille waits, then nods, curious for more… Very well. If their not deterred.

𝄢 “… I’ll work our way backwards. The basics of what occurred is that a highly infectious, mind and body altering plague swept the entire country. Those infected would mutate rapidly, then hunt down any living creature and consume them, converting the remains into more infected. The only reason we had any survivors is because there was a mind in charge of the plague that was trying to stop it. Had someone not sabotaged our bunker, we would have had a couple hundred survivors.”

❁ “Hold, on, step back, a plague that can think? And you said it was Holding back?!? What and how in the crab?!? Are any of you infected?!”

♪ “I assure you, none of us are infected. Even if the infection method wasn’t highly obvious and visible, none of the infected would even touch us, due to said mind in charge, though there were some close calls.”

It was horrible. Watching those creatures try and attack you, only for you to hear them rip themselves apart, begging and screaming to stop in Fa’s voice… They tried so hard...

𝄡 “We did double check everything on the ship, and ourselves, before we came ashore though. Just in case.”

❁ “...Fine. As long as you're sure.”

𝄢 “Yes. As for the thinking plague thing, It… It was… The source was someone I had saved... a long time ago. They had full conscious control of that plague originally, which kept them alive. But then someone ruined that. Lied to them, told them they could clear the plague entirely. We didn’t stop them in time…”

He knew the risks. Knew Fa couldn’t just wish away their symptoms but… He still had them try it, and now...

❁ “Wait, are you implying-”

𝄢 “That I made the plague in the first place? Yes. It was my responsibility to them not to let this happen, and I failed them.”

You feel your hands clench the wheel. If you had just been there, if you had persuaded your stupid brother to stop, if you had warned Fa of the dangers…

❁ “I guess you probs regret that now huh?”

The car jolts to a stop as you slam the brakes. Your face shifts into it’s most vicious expression as you turn to them. You will NOT take that.

𝄢 “No. I would do it a thousand more times. They deserved to live.”

❁ “I, look, I wasn’t- I mean...”

𝄢 “...Bonnie is your siblings name, yes? If it had been poor innocent Bonnie, would YOU have left them to die?”

Nille freezes, looking at you. Horrified.

𝄢 “If people told you to kill Bonnie with your own two hands, because it MIGHT save others, could you blinding do it?”

Nille can’t meet your gaze.

𝄡 "Song-"

𝄢 “I thought not. But let me tell YOU, Petronille. They were an INFANT. But because of what they were, All of Astravia was willing to leave them for DEAD. I was the ONLY one who even CARED to save them. I do NOT regret my choice. No matter what changes, I will ALWAYS stand by that decision.”

You look away from them. Trying to get back to normal.

𝄢 “... If anything, I regret not doing enough."

… Ugh. You start the car moving again. You don’t look at Nille. You get they weren’t there but you refuse to even humor that idea. And you will put it in the ground now. You would never be the kind of person who willingly let’s people die.

NONE of this changes how you feel for them. NONE of this makes you regret having saved them. Even though everything has changed, in the end, You will NOT let that change.

>>>

… The trip continues, in relative silence. Nobody has anything to say. To any of this. When you all make camp at nightfall, you do it in silence.

As you lie down in your tent… You just… Blind it all!

You start to cry. You failed them. You failed them! You failed Fa, You failed your Brother, You failed your parents, You failed the survivors!

You even failed the Empress Arcana! She told you to keep them safe! That was the price of that gift! That it would save Fa! And now! And now!!!

Now, everything is GONE. Fa doesn’t remember you, your home is gone, your brother is gone, and Fa. Fa’s been hurt. Hurt so badly just seeing you nearly brought them to tears. Stars, you just wish you could charge over there and comfort them now!

...You just hope Fa doesn’t remember that day. That the memories of that day are as lost as those of you all. Then at least it’ll be a mercy. One burden you can carry for them. Blind it, you really hope! But something in the back of your mind says otherwise…

Hah. You’re a terrible mother, aren’t you?

[darklinaforever]

Criston Cole defeated Daemon by attacking him from behind. I don't call that a success. Daemon is a real soldier who went into the field, literally fought a war for real, and won. Criston Cole has never been on the battlefield. Also, the post only concerned Aemond and only makes him think he is a match for Daemon.

Also, what does Daemyra have in there ? Is not the subject.

And aren't the antis tired of bringing out the same incoherent strangulation scene as a sort of magic joker ? And then sorry, but where the hell is Rhaenyra afraid of verbally challenging Daemon ? She does the complete opposite, even after that stupid scene that makes no sense...

For this post :

For this post :

For this post :

Ableist meaning : Discrimination or prejudice against individuals with disabilities. 

So again ; Wtf ?

And then the last one that I know about one of my most recent post :

Once again, what does that mean ? I'm not talking about Aemond and his internal debates. I'm talking about the drastic difference in treatment between him and Daemon on the fact that the writers constantly question his loyalty to the monarch through the other characters, while there is no real proof that his loyalty can be questioned but who nevertheless never ceases to be so, but Aemond on the other hand, the one who directly says a sentence that could call his loyalty into doubt, strangely the screenwriters will never talk about a possible doubt about his loyalty to the characters, even by Criston, the one who witnessed Aemond's jealousy. That's what I'm talking about. Not Aemond's internal emotions.

Honestly, the antis Daemon, Rhaenyra and Daemyra, have nothing better to do than go to posts that don't concern them to piss off ? What kind of mentality do they have ?

[destinyc1020]

can we even put tom and timothee in the same category though, I feel like there very different and I feel timothee has now found the perfect balance which I feel tom really hasnt

Tom can bring people to theatres and insanely popular like r+j sold out within two hours and of course spiderman but outside of spiderman the quality of the projects are more miss than they are hit and really struggles with finding good scripts or working with directors. Timothee while a vastly different journey and its not until recently he found blockbuster success hes no doubt a draw while simulataneoulsy still working on quality projects and working with the best directors and also having found a ton of success in independent film world even something like bones and all while finacially poor I would say the genre is more to blame at least it was a good movie, with great performances and critically successful whereas cherry and chaos walking were bombs but horrendously awful films.

I feel timmy has found the perfect balance and knows how to pick roles that suit him whereas tom is financially successful but a little iffy if his name attracts the best directors or stars tbh.

Though I do think his move to theatre is great perfect for him especially a well known play like r+j and jamie llyod and a opportunity tp hone your craft.

Ohhhh....here we go yet again....

*Checks date on Calendar*

Yup.... Every 10 days, I swear....we get SOME variation of the usual "Worried about Tom's Career" ask.

🤦🏾‍♀️

Anon, I think you and other fans who constantly worry about Tom's career need to realize that actors all have different journeys in the industry. Every actor doesn't have to do EXACTLY what their acting peer is doing, nor do they have to have the same exact path?? 🥴

whereas cherry and chaos walking were bombs but horrendously awful films.

HOLD UP..... Now, I'll give you "Chaos Walking" (which...in Tom's defense, was supposed to be released YEARS before it actually came out, and he signed on to that project early in his career), BUT "Cherry"?? 🥴 I don't care what anyone says, "Cherry" was NOT an "horrendously awful" film. Was it maybe not your cup of tea? Okay... sure. Was the narration throughout the film unnecessary? Okay....yes. But let's get REAL here. Both Tom and Ciara acted their butts off in that film. I feel like Tom really transformed himself in that film, and played a drug addict extremely WELL. That was the first film where I was like: "Geez man...you're an AWESOME actor!" That car scene!?? Like, come on. That was peak acting right there.

I feel timmy has found the perfect balance and knows how to pick roles that suit him whereas tom is financially successful but a little iffy if his name attracts the best directors or stars tbh.

Tom has worked with awesome directors. He's about to work with Paul King on the FA biopic, JUST like Timmy worked with him on "Wonka". Tom has also worked with Akiva Goldsman on TCR who's also famously known for films such as "A Beautiful Mind", "The Da Vinci Code", "A Time to Kill".....all AWESOME films.

How come it is, when Timmy does something, it's amazing, but when Tom does the very same thing, it's: "Idk...kinda iffy!" 🤔

Some of you all are letting Film Twitter run your minds instead of thinking for yourselves.

Have I liked EVERY single project that Tom has chosen to do? No... Not necessarily.... But I would put Tom's diverse filmography over Timothee's at the current moment, because Tom has at least shown me that he can play a wide range of characters and roles. He's gone from Arvin in TDATT, to Ian Lightfoot in "Onward".

Timmy is a decent actor (don't get me wrong!), and he's done great work over the years... But Tom has done more DIVERSE work imo. Timmy is just now starting to branch out and do blockbusters, children's films, etc (things that Tom has already been doing for years).... Just saying! 🤷🏾‍♀️

Actors don't have to follow one set path. They can go in and out from whatever filming roles they wish. Tom doesn't have to follow the same path as Timmy or any other actor out here. Most actors just focus on their OWN work, and admire the work of others that they personally appreciate. But it's not some competition.

I definitely think Timmy getting nominated for an Oscar at such a young age definitely put his name on the map for a lot of directors and such. Just being nominated for massive awards helps a LOT. You don't even have to win.

One day, Tom will be accepting an award for "Best Actor", and he will have all of Film Twitter eating their words.

I personally can't wait for that day lol 😊

[purplehrts7]

Losing Control ( A Carlisle Cullen x BOC Story (Chapter 2: The Struggle Begins (Part 2 of 2)

[Carlisle's POV]

The sun had long since dipped below the horizon, casting the university campus in shadow. Carlisle's lecture had ended hours ago, but he lingered in the empty classroom, his thoughts a tangled web of memories and emotions. He should have felt satisfaction after a successful first day, but instead, a strange disquiet gnawed at him.

Zuri.

Her name whispered through his mind, as persistent as the hunger that simmered just beneath the surface. He had tried to ignore it, to push it aside, but she had taken root in his thoughts, a constant presence that he couldn't shake. And it wasn't just her blood that called to him—it was something more, something deeper.

*This isn't right.*

He exhaled slowly, gathered his things and left the classroom. The campus was quiet now, the usual hustle and bustle replaced by the soft rustle of leaves in the evening breeze. As Carlisle walked, he pulled out his phone, his fingers moving instinctively to call home. It had become a ritual of sorts—these nightly calls to check in with his family, to remind himself of who he was and what mattered.

The phone rang only once before Alice's bright voice answered, "Carlisle! I was just thinking about you."

A small smile tugged at his lips. "Is that so? Or did you see me calling in one of your visions?"

"Both," she replied, her tone playful. "How's Georgia treating you?"

"Well enough," he answered, though his voice was laced with a tinge of doubt that didn't go unnoticed by Alice. "The seminar is going smoothly, and the students are eager to learn. It's... different, being away from home, but I'm managing."

Alice was silent for a moment, and he could almost picture her brow furrowing in concern. "You don't sound like yourself, Carlisle. Is something wrong?"

He hesitated, unsure how to answer. How could he explain what he was feeling when he himself barely understood it? The pull toward Zuri, the way her presence lingered in hid mind even now—it was all so unprecedented, so unsettling.

Before he could respond, Alice spoke again, her voice softer now. "Whatever it is, you know we're here for you. Esme misses you terribly, you know."

A pang of guilt shot through him at the mention of Esme. She had always been his anchor, his unwavering support through centuries of turmoil. But since meeting Zuri, he wasn't sure about telling her about Zuri or the strange and powerful connection he felt, even though the omission weighed heavily on him.

"I miss her too," Carlisle said quietly, though the words felt hollow. He did miss Esme—more than he could express—but there was an undeniable rift forming between them, one that would grow bigger as time passed, especially now with Zuri in the mix.

"You should call her," Alice suggested gently. "It might help."

"Yes, I will," he promised, though a part of him dreaded the conversation. "How is everyone else? How are things in Forks?"

"Oh, the usual," Alice said with a lightness that made him smile. "Edward and Bella have been homeschooling Renesmee, Jasper's been reading a lot lately, and Emmett's causing mischief wherever he can. And Rosalie... well, she's Rosalie."

Carlisle chuckled softly, the familiar banter easing some of the tension in his chest. "And you? How are you, Alice? Is there anything on the horizon I should be on the lookout for?"

"I'm fine. Everything is.. fine," she said, though there was a hint of something in her voice that made him wonder if she was holding something back. But before he could ask, she added, "Just promise me you'll take care of yourself, Carlisle. We all need you."

The sincerity in her voice struck a chord within him, and he nodded, though she couldn't see it. "I will. Thank you, Alice."

They exchanged a few more pleasantries before hanging up, and as he slipped the phone back into his pocket, he found himself standing outside his apartment building. The night air was crisp, carrying the faint scent of pine and earth. He stood there for a moment, staring up at the darkened windows, trying to gather the courage to make the next call. Finally, he dialed Esme's number, the familiar sound of her voice greeting him after a few rings.

"Carlisle," she breathed, and the warmth in her voice was like a balm to his soul. "I'm so glad you called."

"I'm sorry I took so long. It's been a whirlwind of a day." He began, but she cut him off gently.

"It's okay," she said. "I know you're busy, and I understand. How are you holding up?"

He hesitated, the words catching in his throat. How could he tell her about the turmoil inside of him, about the inexplicable connection he felt to another woman? He couldn't—*wouldn't*—hurt her like that. But the silence stretched on, and he knew she could sense his unease.

"Carlisle," she said softly, her voice tinged with worry. "Is everything all right?"

"I... I'm fine, Esme," he lied, forcing a smile that she couldn't see. "It's just... different here. Being away from you, from the family, it's harder than I expected."

There was a pause, and when she spoke again, her voice was barely above a whisper. "I miss you too, Carlisle. More than you know."

The guilt gnawed at him, a heavyweight in his chest. "I'll be home soon," I promised, though the words felt uncertain. "This seminar won't last forever."

"I know," she replied, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

He loved Esme with all his heart, and he would do anything to protect what they had. But the doubts lingered, shadowing his thoughts, and he knew that things between them were not as simple as they once were. At least he could pretend until he could no longer. They talked a little longer, exchanging stories and updates, but the conversation felt strained, the unspoken tension hanging between them.

When they finally said their goodbyes, Carlisle felt more alone than ever, the quiet of the night pressing in around him. As he made his way up to his apartment, the weight of the day settled heavily on his shoulders. He couldn't deny that things were changing, that his feelings for Zuri—however inexplicable—were complicating everything. But he didn't know how to stop it, how to return to the life he had known before. And so, he was left with nothing but questions, doubts, and the faintest hint of hope that somehow, he would find his way through the darkness.

[cerealmonster15]

Omg for kiss prompts I'm having a moment of weakness thinking abt book 7 SO #43 between anyone from diasomnia 🥺 forehead kisses are just so sweet wahh

OUUGHGHGHGHGHGHHH i love diasomnia family SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

[Posted to Ao3!] [Link to prompt list]

Summary: Silver checks on Lilia to make sure his dad doesn't stay up all night gaming.

Prompt 43: A kiss pressed to the top of the head.

Silver found himself shuffling through the dark halls of the Diasomnia dorm. Squinting at his phone, he could see the time was only 4:30AM. One of the many downsides that came with falling asleep at the drop of a hat meant that Silver also often would wake up at odd hours of the night.

That being said, he was often not the only one awake at such an hour. As expected, sounds of cackling laughter and clacking of computer keyboard buttons could be heard coming from the other side of Lilia’s dorm room.

“Aha! Down he goes!” Lilia shouted to himself in triumph as he no doubt had just concluded another of those raid boss battles with his online gaming buddy. The two had been putting in extra hours every night for the past week to try and achieve some sort of limited time quest… Silver couldn’t really remember the details, but Lilia and his friend seemed pretty intense about it.

“Fa- Um, Lilia?” Silver called gently as he knocked on the door, quickly correcting himself just in case there were others in the room with Lilia, or perhaps also wandering around the halls in a sleepless state.

“Oho? Come on in, Silver. The door’s unlocked,” Lilia replied as he removed his headphones. “Gloomurai and I just concluded another successful raid!”

Sliver came to stand beside Lilia’s desk. “Have you been taking enough breaks to rest your eyes? You really shouldn’t stay up so late at your age.”

“Well, aren’t you thoughtful? Don’t you worry; I was just about… to sign off… Once I message Gloomurai…” Lilia’s sentence trailed off into a deep yawn.

“Father…” Silver sighed, already fighting the urge to yawn back in response.

“Yes, yes, just a moment…” Lilia insisted as he typed up his departing message for the night to his gaming buddy.

Muscle Red: I’m afraid I must depart for the night; my dormmates are getting quite concerned by how late I’ve stayed up.

Muscle Red: Though I must admit it’s hard to pull away when we’re so close to our goal! 

Muscle Red: Same time tomorrow?

Gloomurai: whoops.  i guess i should probs go too, i have class in like 4 hours lololol

Gloomurai: ya tht works for me. ttyl!

Muscle Red: Until next time!

Lilia leaned back into his chair with a big yawn. “Mmm… Perhaps I’ll just rest my eyes for a moment…”

“You should at least get into bed first. You’re just going to fall asleep anyway,” Silver protested, but Lilia seemed to be perfectly comfortable in his chair already.

“Go on back to your room… I’ll be fine right here…” Lilia mumbled as his breath started to even out and his voice fell into a quiet mumble.

It was times like this that Silver was glad his dad was so much smaller than him. He bent down over the chair, slid his arms underneath Lilia’s body, and effortlessly scooped him up into his arms to carry him back to his bed for a proper rest.

As Silver lowered Lilia’s body down onto the bed, Lilia chuckled sleepily. “So the student becomes the teacher… hehe… You’re all grown up, aren’t you, Silver?”

Silver’s eyes widened slightly, pausing as he was about to pull away and let Lilia rest. “I… Um…”

It was true, wasn’t it? All his life, for as long as he could remember, Lilia was looking after him. There were countless times Lilia had to pick a sleepy baby Silver up off the ground from where he’d fallen asleep and carried him to bed, and now…

“...Yeah. I suppose you’re right,” Silver said gently. He leaned forward again, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Lilia’s head. “Goodnight, father. Rest well.”

Lilia smiled, and snuggled cozily into his covers.

[unitedbydevils]

A dressing room leakier than Old Trafford's roof: why fans must ignore the nonsense

Another day of drama for Manchester United. Another day of ridiculous media coverage because guess which club has the biggest news pull.. that's right, it's the (temporarily not so) mighty reds.

Unity is needed to fix our poor form, but I think an inquisition is needed to root out the leakers because it's boring. Years of shit being passed out from Carrington like it's a paper note in a classroom. Grow up.

Does Erik Ten Hag have favourites? Perhaps. Does this mean you should down tools? Absolutely not. The attitude here forgets several things:

You are an asset in of yourself. If you give up, other teams notice. This will lessen your value for a sale.

It also reduces your personal growth as a player. 6 months of not trying might have been the period where you level up your skill set and playstyle.

Football is a game of small margins. Anything less than your best could be the difference between a salvaged point and a painful defeat.

The rumoured leakers are obvious: Sancho, Maguire, McTominay, and maybe Donny Van de Beek (I doubt this last one). Henderson was also rumoured to be leaking before, as was Eric Bailly. Disgruntled players are the obvious suspects, and normally it's correct.

Roy Keane, seen here on Sky Sports, has the right take: players are failing to take responsibility for their poor performances, and are giving up too easily. Could ETH make better subs or quicker tactical changes? Sure. But it's his second season, having finished 3rd, won the League Cup, and reached the FA Cup final, all with Weghorst up front for crying out loud. Give the man a chance, believe in his plans. We can't keep cycling through managers. United will just be a graveyard for talent and a money pit.

The latest 'leak' or drama is about David De Gea's departure. People have short memories. He was a good goalkeeper, and kept United alive for many shitty seasons, but his last few years saw his shot stopping - the star attribute - fall off in terms of stats and success. This is an issue. Onana is a solid replacement for the keeping metrics, but with great feet to help play out from the back.

Our current form isn't derived from Onana playing badly. It's derived from an injured Varane showing the gulf of skill between him and Lindelof, and how important Varane is to getting the best out of Lissandro Martinez. Hence the need for Kim Min Jae in the summer.

Beyond that, Eriksen starting games at 31 with a heart condition. What the fuck. Casemiro looks overweight and slow and needs to be eased in to the season. Last year he played more games in the season than he EVER did at Madrid. Ever. They're playing though because Mount, Amrabat, Mainoo are all injured. All three would be playing if they were fit. They might all feature tomorrow versus Burnley, and they'll make a huge difference going forward.

The media is to blame as much as the players though. The Daily Mail published an article about Onana dropping his car keys. How is that journalism? The same goes for Samuel Luckhurst, seen above. There's a lot of stirring the pot to cause drama, to generate clicks.

The reality is that people shouldn't be taking the Manchester Evening News (M.E.N) seriously because they're clickbait these days. The death of local/regional news; clamouring for clicks and views rather than offering actual substance and building loyalty and respect.

United are in a rough spot, and perhaps this poor start means we fail to make the top 4 this season, but if - in the grand scheme of things - Ten Hag gets United playing the way he wants to then so be it. I want us fixed, and I'm willing to back this manager to get it done. If everyone was pulling the same way, trying, and it just wasn't working then fair dos, Erik might not be the man, but no. He hasn't had his preferred first XI. He hasn't had players properly trying. He's had issues with leaks, player insubordination, scandals off the field, and the takeover farse.

There are better managers, but I guarantee they cannot be arsed with United and the Glazers. Lets get behind Ten Hag, back his authority, lose the dregs and crybabies, and see what we can achieve with a committed squad of battlers and ballers. Up the reds.

[findasongblog]

Find A Song confronting the lies we tell ourselves in the pursuit of success

Tom Emlyn - It Doesn't Bother Me

“This song is from the mind of an unreliable narrator, trying to convince himself of his own aloofness as much as he is the listener. It paints a nightmare picture of self-doubt, anxiety, dead-end jobs, bad decisions, time running out. Schizophrenic images of audible lights in the engine yard. Losing your real self in the pursuit of money, recognition, anything. The masks we wear to convince ourselves and others of our resilience.” “Honky-tonk Bob, mentioned in the lyrics, was a real person I met who played around the open mic nights of North Wales. He used to play amateurish piano, with his foot tapping a rudimentary beat on a hi hat with some kind of stuffed animal attached to it. The last I heard of him, he'd joined the army. A lost and misguided soul. This song tries to use sarcasm and absurdity to overcome uncertainty and dread, even if that involves a certain amount of self-deception. The keyboards and bass synth on the track were all done in the moment and improvised in one take.”

Added to FAS Spotify playlist indie folk/country/americana.

via Musosoup

[hitmeinthehead]

Dubbi | Marracash

Nothing great about my story

Niente di eccezionale la mia storia

Mine were neither doctors nor thieves

I miei non eran dottori e nemmeno ladri

Where I come from, you know, that was something

Dalle miei parti, sa, era già qualcosa

The real stars for us were the criminals

Le vere star per noi erano i criminali

No dialogue at a table, I don't blame them

No dialogo a un tavolo, non li biasimo

Sporadic work, eviction and two dependent children

Lavoro sporadico, sfratto e due figli a carico

And saying it is bad, it's like we didn't know each other

E dirlo è pessimo, è come non ci conoscessimo

What they dreamed I can not imagine

Cosa sognassero non me lo immagino

Now she's my squeeze, she says normalcy terrifies me

Ora lei è il mio strizza, dice che la normalità mi terrorizza

That it has nothing to do with the family?

Che non c'entri proprio la famiglia?

Years ago, I would fucking die laughing

Anni fa, cazzo, sarei crepato dal ridere

I don't fear death, but I fear not living

Non temo la morte, ma ho paura di non vivere

(Not to live? Like yours?)

(Di non vivere? Come i tuoi?)

(Do you think this? Of living now that you're successful?)

(Pensi questo? Di stare vivendo adesso che hai successo?)

I have played my cards

Ho giocate le mie carte

The struggle for life is cruel, but fascinating

La lotta per la vita è crudele, ma affascinante

I made an art of it, I was part of it

Ne ho ho fatto un'arte, ne ho fatto parte

Marracash next to an older brother

Marracash affianco un fratello più grande

One who delves into reality, an escape from a heavy reality

Uno che fruga nella realtà, la fuga da una realtà pesante

Trying to make some money on it during

Cercando di farci dei soldi durante

Despite the stupid years and all the risks taken

Malgrado poi gli anni balordi e tutti i rischi corsi

Watching those big problems get huge

Guardando quei problemi grossi che si fanno enormi

The bad ones have become good memories

Quelli brutti sono diventati bei ricordi

The bad ones I removed

Quelli troppo brutti li ho rimossi

And the doubts, doubts, doubts remained

E sono rimasti i dubbi, dubbi, dubbi

Pounding doubts, doubts, doubts, doubts

Martellanti dubbi, dubbi, dubbi, dubbi

Doubts, doubts, doubts

Dubbi, dubbi, dubbi

Pounding doubts, doubts, doubts, doubts

Martellanti dubbi, dubbi, dubbi, dubbi

Years ago, yes, I pulled it, now it's rare

Anni fa, sì, la tiravo, ora è raro

Reeds are still enslaved, straws falling

Canne sono ancora schiavo, paglie in calo

I have trouble sleeping more than anything

Ho problemi con il sonno più che altro

Without pills I haven't slept in a long time

Senza pillole non dormo ormai da tanto

"How much?", he asks, more than four years, don't look at me wrong

"Quanto?", chiede, più di quattro anni, non mi guardi male

I know the slip said: "Max four weeks"

So che il foglietto diceva: "Max quattro settimane"

I have weird swings and I don't know what causes them

Ho strani sbalzi e non so cosa li causi

The mind lies, it finds new ways to deceive me

La mente mente, trova nuovi modi di ingannarmi

The love?

L'amore?

The love he talks about

L'amore di cui parla

That is, to squeeze something tightly until it suffocates?

Cioè stringere una cosa forte fino a soffocarla?

A game in which I hurt myself or hurt another

Un gioco in cui mi faccio male o faccio male a un'altra

I'm forty and never seen a bond that stays

Ho quarant'anni e mai visto un legame che rimanga

A maternal, viscous love, I don't need it, I don't want it

Un amore materno, viscoso, non mi serve, non lo voglio

For me it's just a way to hide from the world

Per me è solo un modo per nascondersi dal mondo

(Your brother has two beautiful children, you will never have them)

(Tuo fratello ha due bambini splendidi, non li avrai mai)

(Nobody waits for you, give a fuck how you are)

(Nessuno ti aspetta, si fotte di come stai)

This too, all of this

Anche questo, tutto questo

Did I really want this?

Volevo davvero questo?

All my life I think about it

Tutta la vita che ci penso

Maybe I no longer believe in the product I sell

Forse non credo più al prodotto che vendo

What a paradox, right?

Che paradosso, no?

That I to be myself

Che io per essere me stesso

I'm forced to go where they don't recognize me

Sia costretto a andare dove non mi riconoscono

There will be more than just the glitz to the effort

Ci sarà dell'altro oltre lo sfarzo per lo sforzo

Here from above I think I sacrificed too much

Qui dall'alto penso che ho sacrificato troppo

I love chaos, I hate everything under control

Amo il caos, odio sia tutto sotto controllo

I just don't want to make tons of money

Non mi va che fare soldi a palate

Make me a rich man who can't tie his shoes anymore

Mi faccia un ricco che non sa più allacciarsi le scarpe

It's clear, it's already happening right now

È lampante, accade già in questo istante

Smile my conflict goes right into your pockets

Sorrida il mio conflitto va dritto nelle sue tasche

Maybe making music is the only solution

Forse fare musica è l'unica soluzione

Maybe there's no hole that encloses your pain

Forse non c'è buca che racchiuda il tuo dolore

Perhaps there is no escape that leads to escape

Forse non c'è fuga che conduca all'evasione

Maybe I was okay with the losers and idealists

Forse stavo bene tra i perdenti e gli idealisti

Maybe mental health is for the rich

Forse la salute mentale è roba da ricchi

Maybe you don't have to listen to yourself to move forward

Forse per andare avanti non devi ascoltarti

How do others do?

Come fanno gli altri?

I see them so convinced

Li vedo così convinti

And no doubts, doubts, doubts

E senza dubbi, dubbi, dubbi

All without doubts, doubts, doubts, doubts

Tutti senza dubbi, dubbi, dubbi, dubbi

Everyone, everyone, everyone

Tutti, tutti, tutti

All without doubts, doubts, doubts, doubts

Tutti senza dubbi, dubbi, dubbi, dubbi

Yes, I'll take you on a trip just you and me

Sì, ti porto a fare un viaggio solo io e te

But if we go private, I don't mean jet

Ma se andiamo sul privato, non intendo il jet

There is no destination

Non c'è una destinazione

And I don't know if it will come (eh, where?)

E non so se si arriverà (eh, dove?)

There is no destination

Non c'è una destinazione

Into the blue

Nel blu

[fan-of-mulligan]

FOM BLOG: GILLINGHAM SUPPORTERS BLOG SEASON 2023 / 2024 SEASON - FINAL PART

At The Start Of The Season, For The First Supporters Blog, I Asked Gillingham Supporters for there thoughts and opinions on Gillingham’s Summer Signings, Performances and results in pre-season friendlies, Gillingham keeping the core of the squad together from The 2022 / 2023 Season heading into The 2023 / 2024 Season, and the score prediction for Stockport County V Gillingham on the opening day of the season, And the link to that blog is here - LINK - https://fan-of-mulligan.tumblr.com/post/724767191346642945/fom-blog-gillingham-supporters-blog-season and in the second Gillingham Supporters Blog LINK IS HERE - https://fan-of-mulligan.tumblr.com/post/734461185061224448/fom-blog-gillingham-supporters-blog-season-2023 - I asked supporters for there thoughts and opinions on Gillingham appointing Stephen Clemence As Head Coach, FA Cup Replays and the score prediction for Gillingham V Salford City, and in the most recent supporters blog - LINK IS HERE - https://fan-of-mulligan.tumblr.com/post/745696927011700736/fom-blog-gillingham-supporters-blog-season-2023 - I asked supporters for there thoughts and opinions on Gillingham’s Player Recruitment In The January Transfer Window, Gillingham Singing - The Last Waltz - before home matches, And Can Gillingham Qualify For The Playoff Position’s In League Two ???

This Blog Is A Follow Up Blog and the final supporters blog of The 2023 / 2024 season, as we look back on a season which promised so much, but unfortunately, Gillingham missed out on reaching the playoffs, but it is good to look at all four supporters blogs and make the comparison’s between different supporters different answers to questions at various points throughout the season, and see how supporters opinions have changed on various topics from the start of the season to the end of the season.

Answering these questions are the following Gillingham Supporters,,,,, Paul, Mark, Colin, Rob, Ben, Cian, Gillingham Legends - I want to thank everyone who has participated in the latest Gillingham Supporters Blog, as well as thank those who participated in The Gillingham Supporters Blogs throughout this season and in the previous seasons, It is because of the involvement of everyone who has participated in the previous blogs which have made these blogs so successful, so once again, thank you, Now on to the questions and answers……..

1. ON MONDAY THE 29TH OF APRIL 2024, GILLINGHAM MADE THE DECISION TO SACK HEAD COACH STEPHEN CLEMENCE AS GILLINGHAM FINISHED 12TH IN LEAGUE TWO, SIX POINTS OFF THE PLAYOFFS WITH CRAWLEY TOWN SECURING THE FINAL PLAYOFF POSITION ON SEVENTY POINTS, DO YOU THINK THE DECISION TO SACK STEPHEN CLEMENCE WAS THE CORRECT DECISION, OR, DO YOU THINK STEPHEN CLEMENCE SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN MORE TIME AND AN OPPORTUNITY TO ASSEMBLE HIS OWN SQUAD OF PLAYERS DURING THE SUMMER TRANSFER WINDOW ???

Paul -  I was amazed to see SC sacked as I thought he would be given the chance to bring in better strikers and search had already started on a targeted list to which I assume he agreed, I preferred the better possession under him and to me the reason we didn’t make the play offs were the defeats at Harrogate and Bradford over Easter, Had we got the play offs I think we could have gone up, I am glad he and Robbie have a new job at a competitors now.

Mark - The only thing that was 100% right was to make a decision and make it quickly, If there was doubt that he was the right man for next season then make a change, if not back him 100%. We've made the decision now time will tell if it was the right one. Personally I'm glad we made the change. Too many draws under Clemence and I think we needed someone with league 2 experience. 

Colin - I think Clemence was a bit unlucky having had to make the best of Neil Harris’s squad and then losing Nichols and Bonne in the January window without getting usable replacements. The stats showed that he managed to get the squad playing in a different style, further down the pitch and with more possession. It’s a results business and we still weren’t scoring goals. The collapse at Harrogate was the tipping point. 

Rob - I still think it was a harsh decision but the stats did tell a story. Plenty of times last season it wasn't clear what identity or style of play we were trying, and just before summer is an ideal time to get a replacement.

Ben - I think if he was given the chance to assemble his own team capable of playing the way he wants, Clemence would’ve excelled, you could see what he was trying to do in his first few games but the players we had were just not up to playing that way, so he reverted back to playing the way which suited the players more, which I think was his biggest mistake, he should’ve stuck to his beliefs and philosophy.

Cian - I think that the decision to sack Clemence was a safe decision – we proved last season that getting rid of a manager mid-season is not a viable option for teams chasing promotion. Bonner was recruited quickly, and I think that plays a role in ensuring the decision has been accepted. In all honesty I was not completely sold on Clemence and am interested to see how he fairs at Barrow. I hope he does a decent job and wish him well.

Gillingham Legends - I was very surprised with the decision given that Brad had said not long before that Clemence would be in charge for the new season. I felt it was a little harsh as he hadn't been there long. However, performances and results saw little improvement (if any) from NH. 

2. WHAT DO YOU THINK WERE GILLINGHAM’S BEST PERFORMANCES / BEST RESULTS UNDER STEPHEN CLEMENCE’S SHORT TENURE AS GILLINGHAM HEAD COACH, AND ALSO, WHICH MATCHES DO YOU THINK WERE THE WORST PERFORMANCES / WORST RESULTS ???

Paul - The worse for me was against Harrogate over Easter and the best was against Doncaster end of the season. 

Mark - I didn't see either but would assume notts county away was the best and Harrogate away the worse. Of the games I saw the second half against Swindon was the best we played. 

Colin - The 3-1 win at Meadow Lane made for a good overnighter. The defeat at Harrogate was abysmal. 

Rob - I can't think to any specifics, but the home performances were not up to scratch at all.

Ben - In terms of best results, Charlton in the FA Cup, Notts County away and Wrexham at home spring to mind, the worst probably has to be Harrogate away.

Cian - Living in Wales for university I didn’t manage to see us as a Clemence side in the flesh – I managed 6 away games, including Hereford at the start of his tenure as well as 3 home games in the Christmas period and in all honesty can only think of Notts County as an enjoyable experience watching his side. For the games I saw live both Tranmere and Newport stand out as exceptionally dreadful.  

Gillingham Legends - The Wrexham win was probably our best result. We had great performances away to Salford and Notts County. At home the wins against Charlton and Barrow also stand out. But there wasn't enough consistency between these matches. The 5-1 defeat to Harrogate was just woeful. 

3. ON THE 7TH MAY 2024, GILLINGHAM APPOINTED MARK BONNER AS FIRST TEAM MANAGER, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON MARK BONNER BEING APPOINTED AS GILLINGHAM MANAGER, AND YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SHORT TIME FRAME BETWEEN THE SACKING OF STEPHEN CLEMENCE, AND THE HIRING OF MARK BONNER DURING THE MANAGERIAL PROCESS ???

Paul - The appointment of Mark was probably based in his success with Cambridge, but although he talks well, I am not convinced he will do any better than Steve or Neil ( both of whom were top professional footballers ) We moaned about Steve being a coach and not a manager then we employ a guy who has never played professionally but been a coach for many years, albeit briefly as a manager at Cambridge.

Mark - Short time frame shows it was planned, which is exactly how it should be. Bonner has experience at this level and I think that will be important. 

Colin - Bonner seems to be from a similar mould to Clemence but is a bit more experienced having managed Cambridge United  to promotion. He seems to have been popular with the Cambridge fans. Whether he is the right man for the job time will tell but he is getting the backing that Clemence didn’t get.

Rob - I think it's good. We needed to make a quick, but sensible, decision and we did. Bonner has experience of getting promoted from this level and I look forward to seeing his team play

Ben - I like the profile of managers we are currently going for, younger managers with a point to prove, I think it also helps with being able to relate to players especially the younger ones. He comes across well so far, with him being given the chance to have a full pre season and assemble his own squad, I think he’ll do well for us, automatic promotion could be a possibility.

Cian - Bonner is a manager who has tasted success at this level before as well as being a young manager – his time at Cambridge was exceptional and he performed well on the budget he had available. It was clear that the club weren’t messing around with the turnaround and can only applaud the appointment – he seems charismatic and from the interviews i’ve seen of him highly enthusiastic about us as a club and a project.

Gillingham Legends - I was quite pleased, he had a decent record at Cambridge and knows the lower leagues probably a lot better than both Harris and Clemence. It was good to get someone else in asap and not waste any time.

4. AND HOW DOES MARK BONNER MAKE GILLINGHAM A MUCH BETTER SIDE FOR THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON ???

Paul - He just use tactics to impress the fans and help the team score more goals to cheer, How he does it I have no idea.

Mark - Pace and Goals. Our early transfer business shows we are focussed on the goals part, still think we need more pace but time for that. 

Colin - Bonner is going to have the benefit of a lot of new players who look to be upgrades on what we had before particularly in terms of attacking capability. It would be disappointing if he couldn’t improve on last season. How much better depends on the rest of the window and Bonner’s own capabilities.

Rob - I think he's more experienced, while still being a younger coach that's learning the game.

Ben - Pace, mobility and width in the forward areas was the main thing we lacked last year, he’s already addressed that with the signings of Nevitt, Rowe and Nolan, selling Hawkins should be a priority in terms of outgoings too, I’ve seen Sunday league strikers move more and quicker than him.

Cian - Quite simply we need to score goals! Which has clearly been a priority in the recruitment we’ve already achieved.

Gillingham Legends - Obviously we need to score more goals, which has been a huge problem for 3 seasons now. We need to be more consistent and dominate matches more, particularly at home.

5. ON MAY 15TH, GILLINGHAM ANNOUNCED THE RELEASE / RETAIN LIST WITH SHAUN WILLIAMS, MACAULEY BONNE, IKE ORJI, MATTY MACARTHUR, RONALD SITHOLE, JOSH CHAMBERS, KIERON AGBEBI AND NATHAN HARVEY ALL GETTING RELEASED, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE EIGHT PLAYERS LEAVING GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB ??? ANY PLAYERS ON THIS LIST WHO YOU WOULD HAVE KEPT ON FOR NEXT SEASON, OR, WERE YOU NOT SURPRISED WITH ALL EIGHT PLAYERS MENTIONED BEING RELEASED ???

Paul - I was surprised that so many released but I suspect we no longer have a B team and just going to have reserves now, So basically no space for the youngsters and I hope they quickly get professional status elsewhere

Mark - No great surprises really. It was a shame that some of the youngsters never get a chance but if they aren't closer to first XV then no point in retaining them. Hopefully they will go on and build their careers somewhere else. No surprises the more senior players. 

Colin - I was surprised that Orji and MacArthur didn’t get more time to develop. I suppose once the B Team got cut out there wasn’t an obvious pathway for them. The other departures were expected.

Rob - I'm not surprised about any of them leaving, if I'm honest. I guess I would have expected Chambers or Orji to stay on given we resigned Josh a few summers ago and signed Ike from Chatham. Clearly a different approach to our development squad next year.

Ben - Not really surprised about any of them except Ike Orji, who looked like he had a bit about him.

Cian - The retained list wasn’t very surprising in all honesty – maybe there could be arguments made regarding some younger players and potentially keeping them but I certainly haven’t lost any sleep worrying about them.

Gillingham Legends - Not surprised by any of them. A couple of the youngsters I thought may have stayed but don't know enough about them to pass judgement. I still feel Bonne is a good player and could come good at this level but due to his probable high wages and under achievement, not surprised to see him go.

6. GLENN MORRIS AND DOM JEFFERIES WERE BOTH OFFERED NEW CONTRACTS BY GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB, AND GLENN MORRIS HAS SIGNED A ONE YEAR CONTRACT EXTENSION WITH GILLINGHAM, HOWEVER, WE ARE UNCLEAR ON DOM JEFFERIES FUTURE AT GILLINGHAM, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON GLENN MORRIS SIGNING A ONE YEAR CONTRACT EXTENSION ??? - AND DO YOU THINK DOM JEFFERIES WILL SIGN A NEW CONTRACT AT GILLINGHAM, OR, SIGN FOR ANOTHER FOOTBALL CLUB ???

Paul - I think it’s a good decision keeping Glenn as a back up keeper and potential goal-keeper coach

Mark - Glenn Morris is a decent backup keeper, we need to focus on transfers up front so no surprise we took the option to extend his stay. I'd like to see DJ stay but suspect he'll move on. Just hope he doesn't drag it out like others have. Stay or leave but be quick about it. 

Colin - Glenn is getting on a bit but did OK last season. Bringing in a new keeper isn’t a priority. Lack of goals was the problem. Jefferies may get a better offer and if so probably from a League One club in which case he will be gone.

Rob - Jefferies was always going to get a deal so that we could claim a fee if he left. I hope he does stay, but I can imagine him joining a League 1 side. Morris I thought might be going, but again, he's a solid keeper and we can focus on that area next year.

Ben - Glenn Morris being offered a new deal surprised me given his age, I would’ve preferred for us to go for a new keeper as number one, I’m not a huge fan of Turner either. I think we need to keep hold of Jefferies as he brings energy to the team that most don’t, he’ll also look way better in a possession oriented team.

Cian - Glenn is a model professional and a great goalkeeper who will only help us this season – he is a reliable figure to have in the camp and will only help in Jake Turner’s development. I don’t think DJ will end up staying sadly – however he’s a quality player and we would be a better side with him in it and therefore i’m hanging onto hopes of him staying.

Gillingham Legends - Was actually surprised that we offered Morris a deal as thought we may have gone for a younger understudy and thought Morris would either want to play or revenge retire. I'll be very surprised if Jefferies signs, think they'll be interest at a higher level. 

7. SCOTT MALONE, GEORGE LAPSLIE, ASHLEY NADESAN AND OLI HAWKINS HAVE ALL BEEN MADE AVAILABLE FOR TRANSFER AND DEEMED SURPLUS TO REQUIREMENTS, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON SCOTT MALONE, GEORGE LAPSLIE, ASHLEY NADESAN AND OLI HAWKINS BEING MADE AVAILABLE FOR TRANSFER ??? - AND DO YOU THINK ANY OF THE FOUR PLAYERS LISTED SHOULD STILL REMAIN AT GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB FOR THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON ???

Paul - I liked all the players but clearly they are not in the future plans either through cost or other reasons, We were very excited when Scott Malone signed and under Neil he was very good, but seemed to slip under Steve for some reason. 

Mark - Not that surprised. Hawkins is to immobile and Andrews will have that role next season. Lapslie really under performed, he should be class at this level. Maybe Bonner could make him click but I'm sure he'll get offers elsewhere. Nads looked poor and disinterested so time from him to go. Malone had his moments but I think Clark is decent at LB. 

Colin - Nadesan has lost confidence and gone completely off the boil. Lapslie has been a big disappointment. Hawkins looked like a Centre Back being asked to play up top. Malone was an old mate of Harris and is past his sell by date. Whether they move in will depend on whether someone else will match their salaries or whether we will pay off all or part of their contracts.

Rob - Malone hasn't been the same since Harris left. Lapslie is a quality player but it really hasn't clicked for him at all at Gills. Nadesan isn't good enough and Hawkins is too immobile.

Ben - I agree with all of them being listed, Malone is probably on a decent wage, Lapslie hasn’t done enough to convince me he’s worth keeping, Nadesan probably doesn’t have enough confidence to be prolific for an entire season and Hawkins is probably the worst of the lot of them.

Cian - I feel that Malone and Nadders were always going to be available and hope they are able to find respective moves for their own careers. It’s a shame with Malone as during the Harris period of the season he was a fan favourite and an asset – he certainly can play at the level but feel like he would benefit from a move away – it’s a shame its ended how it has.

Nadders failed to impress many and won’t be missed – I’m sure he’s a sound bloke but just not a footballer I particularly want to watch in a Gillingham Shirt. Lapslie and Hawkins are two players that I feel deserve the respect and well wishes of Gills fans – Hawkins has been upgraded on with the addition of Andrews in January – they won't work as a duo as funny as it might have been to play the two as a partnership. Lapslie is someone who has not lived up to the expectations many had of him – if he doesn’t get a move, I’m sure he will be able to provide depth and fight for a place in Bonner’s team.

Gillingham Legends - As good as he is, Malone is probably our highest earner and good business to try and get rid of him if he's unlikely to play that much. Lapslie has been very underwhelming since arriving with a big reputation. Too many times he's not involved in games and agree to move him on. Nadesan has also been largely ineffectual and felt we should've got rid of him ahead of Bonne and Nichols in January. Another who has very little impact on games. I like Hawkins and think he has generally done a good job for us. But I think Andrews is a younger, more mobile version so can see why it would be time to sell Hawkins.

8. JOSH WALKER, CONNOR MAHONEY AND JORGE HURTADO HAVE ALL LEFT GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB AT THE END OF THERE LOAN SPELLS, CAN YOU SEE ANY OF THESE THREE PLAYERS COMING BACK TO GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB FOR THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON EITHER ON LOAN, OR, ON A PERMANENT BASIS ???

Paul - Only Jorge Hurtado as a loan

Mark - Walker did nothing to suggest he should return. Mahoney was decent but not consistent enough and I think the young family in the North will keep him up there. As we've signed two wide players already I can't see spending out on him as well. I would love Hurtado back - he gets people off their seats with his pace and running at players. Thats a possibility I think. 

Colin - Josh Walker looked totally lost during his few appearances and will probably go back to the National League. Mahoney will probably stay up North. I think Hurtado might return as he was seen around Priestfield after being injured.

Rob - We might sign Mahoney, although his wage demands will need to drop and we clearly haven't made it a priority. Hurtado could come back on loan, but again, it's difficult to judge him on his limited appearances. Sure he was exciting, but end product may be in question for him. Walker wasn't good enough.

Ben - Personally don’t see any of them coming back, Walker was anonymous, Mahoney will probably be asking for decent wages and can’t see Watford risking sending Hurtado back to L2 to get smashed up again.

Cian - Walker was a failure of a loan, and I don’t think anybody will be wanting him to rejoin.  Mahoney is undoubtedly a good player at the level but can't see a return after our recruitment but would provide good quality to our team. I am desperate to see Jorge in a Gill's shirt again. The boy captured the imagination of the whole fanbase and is a cult hero. He’s the type of player that excites and I would love to see him again.

Gillingham Legends - Would've loved to have gotten Mahoney permanently but he's just signed for Barrow. I thought he was a class player, technically our best player last season and the most dangerous. Thought he'd play at higher level than league two to be honest. Hurtado was a breath of fresh air, very exciting and just what we needed until his unfortunate injury after just 3 subs appearances. He frightened the life out of defences and got the crowd off their seats so would love to get him back on loan if we can. Walker was a huge disappointment and inferior to Bonne or Nichols. One that didn't work out.

9. THREE YOUNG PLAYERS IN TAITE HOLTAM, STAN SKIPPER AND JOSH BAYLISS HAVE ALL SIGNED THERE FIRST PROFESSIONAL CONTRACTS AT GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS ANNOUNCEMENT ???

Paul - I think those three will do well

Mark - I know nothing about them. Will they get a chance, I doubt it and suspect they will be released at the end of their contracts. 

Colin - I wish them the best of luck. We don’t have a great record in bringing through players from the youth ranks.

Rob - Fine. Never seen any of them play so can't comment either way.

Ben - Hopefully they can all make an impact in the first team, I wonder if Bayliss’ family being one of our main sponsors had anything to do with him getting a contract though

Cian - I can't pretend to be incredibly knowledgeable regarding these three lads. I'm sure all three will undoubtedly benefit from the experience of being around the first team and hope all can get good loan moves to help their progression.

Gillingham Legends - Always good to see young players come through. Whether they'll get near to the first team is another question. It's been a while since anyone did with any sort of impact. Good luck to them though.

10. SKY SPORTS HAVE ANNOUNCED A NEW TV DEAL FOR THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE FOR THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON, AND WHILST GILLINGHAM AND OTHER FOOTBALL LEAGUE CLUBS GAIN FINANCIALLY FROM THIS NEW TV DEAL, THE DRAWBACK TO THIS DEAL WILL BE FEWER SATURDAY 3PM KICK OFF TIMES, BECAUSE MORE MATCHES WILL BE TELEVISED AND THE 3PM BLACKOUT WILL REMAIN INTACT, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON THE LIKELIHOOD OF FEWER 3PM KICK OFF TIMES FOR GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB THROUGHOUT THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON ???

Paul - The kick off times won’t affect me as I am retired and free but it’s a pain for others and for away matches

Mark - I live local so not to fussed about a few early / late KOs if I am honest. A pain for those who have to travel though. 

Colin - As someone who goes to most games home and away it’s not great. For me an away-day consists of a few beers pre match in some decent pubs and the off to the match for 3pm. That won’t be possible with Noon kick offs and Friday nights. I am sure it will suit the TV fans and hopefully the clubs but for many of us who go to away games it’s a bit of a kick in the teeth from the EFL.

Rob - As someone who travels a distance to get to the games, having home games moved about will be very annoying indeed. That said, if I can watch some away games, then that's a bonus

Ben - I think every game on a Saturday should be a 3PM kickoff, the TV blackout rule is such an outdated and unnecessary rule.

Cian - My understanding of the deal is that it won't drastically affect the number of games played at times other than the Blackout – with Tuesday night games and EFL trophy counting? I hope that games that are moved are the more local ones we have, and we don’t have trips to sides like Barrow and Carlisle at midday.

Gillingham Legends - It's the way football is going unfortunately. You can't beat a 3pm kick off, I'm very nostalgic and that is what is should be in my mind, so not happy about that. But TV and money dictates and if the lower league clubs can finally benefit then that's a good thing.

11. ON THE FINAL DAY OF THE 2023 / 2024 SEASON, GILLINGHAM DREW 2-2 AGAINST DONCASTER ROVERS, BUT THIS MATCH WAS ALSO MAX EHMER’S 400TH APPEARANCE IN A GILLINGHAM SHIRT, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON MAX EHMER MAKING 400 APPEARANCES FOR GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB ???

Paul - Max is a strong defender and pleased he is still with us, We should have won that game as well and showed our talent against the then in form Doncaster

Mark - 400 is a great effort and well done Max. He's not my favourite player and 100% should not be captain. A decent enough CB at this level but not captain, he's not vocal enough. 

Colin - Max has obviously been good enough to earn those 400 starts. I was a bit surprised we took him back after he left us for the Gas and didn’t exactly impress over there. 

Rob - Max has been a great servant to the club and comes in for some unfair criticism at times. He's been captain under 4 or 5 managers now and clearly is a very competent League 2, lower League 1 centre back. Here's to another 100!

Ben - Max has been a pretty loyal servant to the club, he’s always been pretty reliable, doesn’t miss many games through injury or suspension, and at this level there aren’t too many better than him. He’s always been at his best with a solid and consistent partner. I think he’s getting to a stage where we might have to think about him no longer being a starter though, Ogie and Masterson are the future and should start together in a back 4.

Cian - Max has been and will continue to be a great servant to the club. He has been an ever-present throughout a majority of my time following the Gills and albeit not being the flashiest player he is one that consistently does a solid job – and brings the best out of younger partners.

Gillingham Legends - He's taken a lot of flak over the years, when we've struggled he's usually been made the scapegoat but he's still there. He wouldn’t be classed as one of the greatest defenders we've ever had but to play 400 matches for one club is incredibly rare in the modern game, especially at our level. You don’t play that many games if you're a bad player. I've always liked Max, he's a reliable, solid defender and now is using his experience to help the younger defenders too. 

12. FA CUP REPLAYS HAVE BEEN SCRAPPED FROM THE FIRST ROUND AT THE START OF THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON, THE REASONING FOR FA CUP REPLAYS BEING SCRAPPED IS THE EXPANSION OF THE UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, AND THE CLUB WORLD CUP ALSO BEING EXPANDED, AND  WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON FA CUP REPLAYS BEING SCRAPPED ???

Paul - Not impressed to be honest as the FA cup brings valuable income to lower leagues, I think replays should only have been scrapped after the fourth round 

Mark - It’s a shocking decision. A lucrative replay can keep lower league / NL clubs afloat. Shocking decision.

Colin - Replays against top sides are an exciting part of the football landscape for the fans of smaller clubs. At the end of the day the big boys don’t want to be playing smaller clubs. Money talks. Another kick in the teeth this time from the FA.

Rob - There's absolutely no reason why FA Cup replays should have been scrapped before the 3rd round. I can see the financial argument for why PL clubs want them scrapped although I don't agree with it.

Ben - Horrendous decision, just more evidence that the top clubs get a bigger say in how the game is run, smaller clubs rely heavily on revenue generated from FA Cup replays. 

Cian - I think that FA cup replays being scrapped is scandalous – not because I’m thrilled about potential replays against the lower league sides but because of the magic appeal of potential trips to bigger clubs. The fact is Gillingham FC play more games than a majority of the bigger clubs in the country its because of the mentality of the bigger sides and their lack of respect for the competition.

Gillingham Legends - Think it's disgusting! Another change to benefit the big clubs without any thought of the small clubs. The chance to get a replay back at big club is what the FA Cup has always been about. A pay day for the clubs and a day out for the fans. These Premier League teams have squads of 50 international players on £100k+ a week, so you can't tell me they can't fit in a few extra games. Gillingham have had some fantastic games and memories that have happened because of replays over the years. It makes me sick that the small clubs are again overlooked and everything revolves around the big boys. The magic of the FA Cup will really go now. Football in general was so much better 20 - 30 years ago.

13. THE LEAGUE CUP WILL ALSO EXPERIENCE SOME CHANGES FROM THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON, WITH A SEEDING SYSTEM IMPLEMENTED TO ENSURE THAT THE BIG CLUBS AVOID PLAYING AGAINST EACH OTHER, AND WHILST THE SPECIFICS HAVE NOT BEEN MENTIONED CLEARLY ON WHAT HAPPENS TO THE LEAGUE CUP FROM NEXT SEASON, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE LEAGUE CUP MAKING CHANGES TO SUIT THE BIGGER PREMIER LEAGUE SIDES ???

Paul - Again not impressed but we just have to cope with playing our seeded opponents

Mark - Not really sure I understand it. If it means the little clubs are more likely to draw a big club then I'm probably OK with it. 

Colin - It’s always good to draw a big club in a cup competition. Whether the changes will make this more or less likely I don’t know. Generally I am against fiddling around with pulling names out of a hat and playing whoever fate throws up.

Rob - I'm not fussed about the League Cup and think it's probably a competition we could do without. We're one of the few countries that still do it - France scrapped theirs in 2020.

Ben - Pretty much the same answer as the above, everything is being changed to suit the top clubs and not one single thought on how it affects the smaller clubs.

Cian - Although I'm not sure on the specifics I think it's very dangerous to design the whole countries system to suit the elite few. This hierarchy of influence is not something that football should entertain – the interests of Gillingham should be equally respected to that of the Rich 6.

Gillingham Legends - Another change because we have to make changes. The League Cup lost its magic a long time ago as it has been demeaned by so many clubs. I suppose it will be good as there's more chance of a Gills playing an Arsenal or someone. But will the Premier teams taking it even less seriously? I'm not sure. 

14. BROMLEY BEAT SOLIHULL MOORS IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE PLAYOFF FINAL AT WEMBLEY STADIUM TO SECURE PROMOTION INTO THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE, AND BROMLEY WILL PLAY AGAINST GILLINGHAM IN LEAGUE TWO, NOW MY QUESTION IS THIS, DO YOU CONSIDER GILLINGHAM V BROMLEY TO BE A KENT DERBY ???

Paul - Yes it’s two teams from Kent but Bromley are hardly a league team yet so I hope we get enough away places at their non league ground

Mark - If we win it Yes and if we lose it then no - seriously I'm not sure either way and actually don't think its that important either. That will be our Boxing day, New Years day or Easter fixture so lets just enjoy having a local game. 

Colin - My take has always been that a derby is played against a team from the same city. Playing someone from the same county or area is more of a rivalry. That said we have no history with Bromley. We will certainly want to beat them. I just hope I can get a ticket for the away game as the allocation won’t be great.

Rob - No. Bromley is part of Greater London and has been since the 1960s.

Ben - Bromley is basically London and I think they consider themselves to be an outer suburb of London, it will be nice to have a local game though and League Two looks very northern this year.

Cian - I’m not sure in all honesty – even disregarding questions regarding Bromley's county status at this moment in time there is no bad blood between the two of us. Maybe a mutual competitive rivalry will be formed as traditionally we’ve lacked a local rivalry where we consistently are in the same divisions RE; Maidstone, Millwall, Charlton.

Gillingham Legends - It's not a Kent Derby as Bromley isn't in Kent. It is a local Derby though due to the distance and very much looking forward to it.

15. WITH WREXHAM, STOCKPORT COUNTY AND MANSFIELD TOWN ALL GETTING PROMOTED FROM LEAGUE TWO INTO LEAGUE ONE, AND CHELTENHAM TOWN, FLEETWOOD TOWN, PORT VALE AND CARLISLE UNITED GETTING RELEGATED FROM LEAGUE ONE INTO LEAGUE TWO, DO YOU THINK THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON MIGHT BE EASIER FOR GILLINGHAM TO CHALLENGE FOR PROMOTION, OR, DO YOU THINK LEAGUE TWO WILL BE JUST AS CHALLENGING AND JUST AS DIFFICULT, BECAUSE OTHER SIDES IN THE DIVISION MIGHT BE THINKING THE SAME-THING ???

Paul - Still be a tough physical league, As no doubt any newcomers will find out

Mark - It SHOULD be easier but nothing is certain. WE SHOULD be strong enough to be right up there this season no matter what others do..............but only if we score more, a lot more. 

Colin - It is surprising how many teams are able to splash the cash. I don’t think it will be easier to get results unless you have decent goal-scorers. We seem to be in a better position in that regard than we were last season. 

Rob - I think it's going to be an easier league in that there's a few big spenders gone, but more competitive in that many clubs will be challenging. I expect teams to be 5th and 6th yet only 4 or 5 points off top.

Ben - I think automatic promotion is more of a possibility this year as the promoted sides were spending a lot of money and creating a bit of a disparity between themselves and the rest of L2. I think Fleetwood and Port Vale might challenge, along with the likes of MK Dons and Notts County again.

Cian - I think that this is a league that is always difficult to get out of and we need to be prepared for a long slog. In regard to teams coming down, us amongst others proved that getting relegated does not make you a favourite for this league – with many teams struggling for at least the first season. Chesterfield coming up will prove to be difficult and if sides such as Notts County and Bradford recruit well it will be a tough division.

Gillingham Legends - Possibly easier as there's less teams with money. However, it's really down to us and we should be competing with whoever is up there regardless, if we want to challenge. We should've done this last season too.

16. GILLINGHAM WENT ELEVEN HOME GAMES UNBEATEN IN THE LEAGUE FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE 2023 / 2024 SEASON, AND THE LAST TIME GILLINGHAM LOST A HOME LEAGUE GAME WAS A 2-0 HOME DEFEAT AGAINST CRAWLEY TOWN ON BOXING DAY, HOWEVER, GILLINGHAM WON THREE AND DREW EIGHT HOME GAMES IN THAT ELEVEN HOME GAME UNBEATEN RUN, HOW DO GILLINGHAM TURN SOME OF THOSE DRAWS INTO WINS FOR THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON ???

Paul - By scoring more goals which was our weakness last two seasons

Mark - Pace and goal scorers. Hawkins slowed us right down and we were on a one trick pony - out to Hutton and cross to Hawkins - very predictable. We need crosses and pace from both flanks and pace up front.  

Colin - That’s an easy one. We score some goals.

Rob - We need to be more attacking, simple as that. I think our new signings will do that.

Ben - A big reason we didn’t get more wins last season is because we set ourselves up to try and not lose, rather than setting up to go and win games, the pace and width in the team now will be a game changer and we should start getting more positive results because of that.

Cian - We need to score goals! It's that simple in all honesty – I'm sure Bonner will have us attacking teams and playing more on the front foot rather than sitting back and defending games.  

Gillingham Legends - Score more goals! Defensively we weren't too bad but if you don't score enough goals, it puts pressure on the defence not to concede and makes it hard to win.

17. WHO DID YOU VOTE FOR, FOR GILLINGHAM’S PLAYER OF THE SEASON, AND GILLINGHAM’S GOAL OF THE SEASON ???

Paul - Player Of The Season - Conor Masterson - Goal Of The Season - Scott Malone

Mark - Masterson and Mahoney (against Morecambe I think) 

Colin - I voted for Glenn Morris and Mahoney’s goal away to Swindon.

Rob - Conor Masterson

Ben - My player of the season was Ethan Coleman and goal of the season was Malone’s rocket.

Cian - I personally voted for Ethan Coleman as my player of the season – he was a consistent good performer for us and stepped up impressively. My goal of the season personally was Scott Malone’s screamer against Sutton. It was one of the only home games I managed to make last season and it was a quality volley.

Gillingham Legends - I voted for Ethan Coleman as I felt he was generally excellent throughout. He maybe dropped off a bit towards the end but he made that position his own and has become a very important player. I voted for Malone's goal against Sutton which was a technically excellent finish.

18. WHICH PLAYER WHO PLAYED FOR GILLINGHAM DURING THE 2023 / 2024 SEASON CAN YOU SEE PERFORMING BETTER FOR GILLINGHAM FOR THE 2024 / 2025 SEASON ???

Paul - Youngsters tend to improve but I want to see Jonny score goals

Mark - Jonny Williams. He should be class at this level and I hope with more movement around him that he will show that for us last season. We should build a team around his ability but last season he was very ineffective most of the time. I think a new style and new manager might bring out the best in him. 

Colin - I think Ogie will press on. He had a good season last time round but made a few mistakes. I think he can be a big player for us.

Rob - Andrews. With quality wingers either side of him and Williams playing centrally, he should get a bucket load of chances to score.

Ben - I think Ogie has a really bright future and if he can take out the bit of rashness and add just a bit more composure to his game we will have a serious player on our hands, I think and I hope Jonny Williams will also thrive more in a more possession oriented team, as his output in terms of goals and assists was nowhere near good enough last year.

Cian - I hope that we see a lot more from Jonny Williams personally – I think with the upgrades we have made in the attacking third he will be able to fulfil his abilities – hopefully we see more of him from No10 with the quality around him. I also think that Hutton will see a massive improvement in his assists tally!

Gillingham Legends - Hopefully Jonny Williams. He's a very good, experienced player who's played at much higher levels and I think he only showed in patches what he was capable of and was a bit disappointing. I'd like to see much more from him on a consistent basis, which I believe he can do. 

19. THERE HAVE BEEN A FEW CHANGES IN FOOTBALL IN RECENT YEARS LIKE EXPANDING THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, SCRAPPING FA CUP REPLAYS AND INCREASING THE NUMBER OF SUBSTITUTIONS FROM THREE TO FIVE, BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL BE THE NEXT CHANGE TO HAPPEN IN FOOTBALL ???

Paul - It’s tough to know what’s next in rule changes

Mark - Great question. At the top then I think a multinational league is inevitable, don't like it but TV money talks. At our end I think we will see more clubs go bust and maybe regional leagues in league 2 may return. 

Colin - Hopefully getting rid of the Prem B teams in the EFL Trophy. 

Rob - I do wonder if we'll see sin bins, or even the clock stopping when the ball goes out of play. I'd be in favour of the latter, especially at the top level.

Ben - I would hate it, but at the top level I think there are bound to be league games that are played overseas soon enough, how that will work I don’t know, but you can see with the amount of teams that play overseas friendlies now that it’s a matter of time. Newcastle and Spurs played each other in Australia just 3 days after the last premier league game as an example.

Cian - Thats a very interesting question – I'll remain hopeful and wish for an adaptation to the EFL Trophy. I hope that the tournament will return to a no B-Team format, or even integrate National League teams into the competition.

Gillingham Legends - God knows but I do fear it. I think very few of these changes have been for the benefit of the game and fear that our beautiful game is started to be ruined. 

20. AND FINALLY, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WISH TO ADD (EXAMPLE: IS THERE SOMETHING I HAVE NOT COVERED IN THE NINETEEN QUESTIONS ASKED ABOVE YOU WANT TO EXPAND UPON) ???

Paul - A very comprehensive list Lee, Well done

Mark - Could have done a poll on where will finish - top 3 for me

Colin - That’s all from me.

Rob - No, thanks for doing this Lee. Up the Gills!

Ben - I think the club is in a really good place going into this season, we finally have owners that care, they won’t get everything right but they will try and that’s what counts, I also think Joe Comper has done an excellent job. Here’s to a great season, up the Gills!

Cian - I’d like to say thank you for asking me to contribute as always Lee. Up the Gills!

Gillingham Legends - Nothing to add, well done. UTG!

Once again, thank you to everyone for participating in this blog, and if anyone who is reading this wishes to participate in The Next Gillingham Supporters Blog, then feel free to send me a message, and your more than welcome to participate in The Next Gillingham Supporters Blog, The Strength Of The Gillingham Supporters Blog comes from everyone who has contributed, so once again, thank you to everyone who has participated in every single Gillingham Supporters Blog.

[kanisema-blog]

Re-yal or Fa-ke?

Eli was a talented web designer who had always dreamed of starting her own web development company. She was ambitious, driven, and determined to succeed in the fast-paced world of technology. Parson, on the other hand, was a successful CEO of a booming tech company. He was charming, charismatic, and known for his sharp business acumen.

The two of them met at a networking event for tech professionals, and sparks instantly flew between them. They had an instant connection and soon found themselves spending more and more time together. It wasn't long before they started dating, and their relationship quickly became the talk of the town.

However, as their relationship progressed, Eli began to have doubts about Parson's true feelings for her. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was only interested in her for her connections and not for who she truly was. Parson, on the other hand, was struggling with his own feelings of guilt. He knew that he was keeping a big secret from Eli, and it was starting to weigh on him.

One day, as they sat down for dinner at a fancy restaurant, Eli finally mustered up the courage to confront Parson about her suspicions. "Parson, I need to know the truth. Are your feelings for me real, or am I just a pawn in your game?" she asked, her voice trembling with emotion.

Parson was taken aback by her question, but he knew he couldn't keep lying to her. "Eli, I have to be honest with you. Our relationship started off as a business arrangement, but I've come to care for you deeply. I never expected to fall for you, but I have," he confessed, his eyes filled with sincerity.

Eli was shocked by his confession, but also relieved to finally have some clarity. "So, what you're saying is that our whole relationship has been based on lies and manipulation?" she asked, feeling a mixture of anger and hurt.

Parson reached out to hold her hand, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. "I know I've made mistakes, but please believe me when I say that my feelings for you are real now. I want to make things right and show you that I truly care for you," he said, his voice full of sincerity.

Eli stared into his eyes, searching for any sign of deceit. But all she saw was honesty and vulnerability. She knew that she had a decision to make – whether to walk away from the man she had grown to care for, or to give him a chance to prove his love.

As days passed, Eli found herself unable to shake her feelings for Parson. Despite everything, she couldn't deny the connection they shared. And so, she decided to give him another chance, albeit with caution.

Their relationship continued to evolve, this time with a newfound sense of honesty and openness. They became each other's support system, leaning on one another during both the good times and the bad. And through it all, their love only grew stronger.

One day, as they sat on the rooftop of Eli's apartment, watching the sunset, Parson took her hand in his and looked into her eyes. "Eli, I know I messed up in the beginning, but I hope you can see how much I truly love you now. You mean everything to me, and I never want to lose you," he said, his voice filled with emotion.

Eli smiled, her heart full of love for the man who had once been a stranger. "Parson, I believe you. I've seen the changes you've made, and I know that your feelings for me are real. I love you too, and I'm willing to give us a real chance at happiness," she said, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks.

And as they embraced each other, watching the stars twinkle in the night sky, they knew that their love was no longer fake – it was as real as it could be. And so, Eli and Parson embarked on a new chapter of their love story, one filled with honesty, trust, and the promise of a bright future together.

[kyrodo]

The loneliest star shines the brightest. I spend a lot of time musing over things I post, especially content I made or got commission'd, like gameplay art or music. I used to and still to some degree get upset or frustrated that I can't seem to get any views or recognition over virtually anything. The only exception so far has been the flute art by Hyrika. I lack the public speaking ability to want to be an interactive streamer or a YouTuber that actually talks to the audience but I also desire even a fraction of the amount of views a casual poster would often get.

But to some degree a lot of it is lone self admiration. A narcissistic appraisal of myself that I am always hoping anyone else would share with me. Because I see those small channels I've subscribed to that have anywhere between a few dozen to a 100+ views on some videos, hardly doing much more than I do and I can't even hit the triple digits on anything. I only ever get my feet wet when it comes to content creation but the lack of feedback sometimes leads me to doubt myself or wonder if I even made anything good.

And I always blame it on my social ineptitude. I hardly start conversations let alone continue them. I choke up whenever I get nervous and it happens so easily. I even had a hard time interacting with my own friend chat without getting a heart attack. At least until Discordant Discourse. At least until I started building my own circle instead of constantly relying on Red's. Especially given he's a 100x more antisocial than he used to be.

While I regret the actions I took going after a rando crush for my first attempt at outside interaction without Red's help, vrchat was my saving grace. No more days of being awkward and subtexting on Twitter, and my social attempts are successes far more often than not. Just tonight I got invited to yet another discord server within the same week.

That said I still get a bit frustrated when there's engagement on what other people show and next to nothing on mine, even in my groups. As many friends as I've made near and far, that part never seems to change. I am more upset at myself for caring about things that trivial but at least I am able to recognize as much. I didn't woo Choskey with things I've shown off. It was time we spent together having fun that did that.

But that is admittedly why my character's eyes shine so strongly. I simply seek attention. I seek admiration. I seek simple joys like people saying they like what I did or what I've been working on. And because of that I seek a cool flaming beauty in my own artistic self expression. I seeked it enough to cause drama when everything else fails. The amount of traffic I get is so close to non-existent that I always feel like I'm lacking whatever it is I need to make me likeable. So much so that whenever I got views on FA I always assumed it was because of my stalker and not actual people viewing my page or content. Because who else would actually give a shit. Since when do regular people care what I post. The pull of self-doubt often got me to do things like threaten to delete my account or put things in scraps.

I try to steer clear of that now. I find comfort in how easy it has been for me to make friends in vrchat. So much so that such things don't bother me nearly as much as they used to. But nothing stops me from wanting to shine as brightly as I can.

I no longer need to act out against my fate. Because I finally found a way around the challenges that matter.

[rashfordxbruno]

Matchday! United head to Wembley for the fourth time in Erik ten Hag's tenure this weekend, with the objective of reaching the Emirates FA Cup final for a second successive season.

Our last-four tie against Coventry City is the reward for that unforgettable 4-3 win over arch-rivals Liverpool in the quarter-final at Old Trafford, the only home game we have played in the competition this season after winning away at League One club Wigan Athletic (2-0), League Two outfit Newport County (4-2) and our fellow top-flight side Nottingham Forest (1-0).

The man who scored United's winner when we also won 1-0 at Forest in the FA Cup third round in 1990, Mark Robins, is now the manager of our next opponents. And he will no doubt be relishing the opportunity to cause a major upset, given the 21 league places between the clubs make Championship club Coventry the clear underdogs.

No matter what I think of Ten Hag this season, I hope we get to our fifth Wembley outing. Come on you Reds!