#'but did a really good job doing Serious Acting in the funny show'

[dashiellqvverty]

TED LASSO EMMY LOSER 🎉🎉🎉

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

What did you think about Jade's role in the latest book 7 chapter? I found it hilarious how between the tweel's dreams his was more chaotic. It was also funny how they brought up Jade's motion sickness since I think the only moments it's been shown was in flight class and I think in Vil's playful land vignette after a rollercoaster ride. I'm really curious about your own highlights ^~^

Honestly, I felt pretty meh about Jade’s involvement in the Octavinelle update 😅

***Book 7 part 10 spoilers below the cut!!***

His own dream segment was alright, it got a few chuckles out of me (though as expected, we didn’t really learn anything significantly new about Jade because of the shallow nature of the dream). Jade’s crybaby dream!Azul was about what I expected, but his dream!Floyd certainly wasn’t. The goofy face on his twin… It made me wonder how Jade truly sees Floyd. Does that weird face mean Jade sees his brother—who comes off as imposing to many others—as cute and harmless? Or does that mean Jade actually looks down on Floyd and thinks of him as a simpleton who likes to eat…? It’s hard to tell (personally I like the former interpretation), but it’s been fun looking at the different perspectives of the same information.

Something I find interesting is that the twins’ moments of waking mirror each other’s usual approaches to a task. Floyd usually foregoes a plan and prefers to use his fists to get the job done. However, he is slowly roused by reminiscing about his memories at NRC and the promise of being presented with a challenge. The final blow that shocks him awake is the presentation of a dream!Azul and dream!Jade who attempt to lure him deeper into the dream. Floyd doesn’t fall for it; in fact, he gets mad instead, and that fury, so biting and clear, snaps him awake. The opposite is true for Jade. He is someone who meticulously plans before acting, and would rather control the circumstances and use other roundabout methods before resorting to violence. But ironically, the master manipulator Jade is the one who falls for his own dream’s manipulations—all because he trusts himself above all else. He only wakes up because of a very strong physical force (ie Sebek’s UM) striking him. Prior to this, Jade was putting up a very good fight and the blows be was taking were not sufficient to wake fully him. So… Floyd, the brother who prefers brawns, woke up after reflecting and experiencing strong cognitive dissonance between his fake reality and bis true reality. Jade, the brother who prefers brains, woke up after being smacked the right amount. They woke up after experiencing an intense shock related to what is essentially the opposite of their preferred problem solving strategies.

I liked seeing Jade and Floyd fight! Book 7 is showing us a lot of things that were brief off-handed mentions elsewhere (like how Rook used to be in Savanaclaw, how Lilia is a war vet, etc.). The twins having violent brawls was previously brought up in Floyd’s Beach Wear vignettes, and it’s nice to be able to view the full extent of it ourselves. Floyd was NOT joking when he said they got into serious fights…

I have mixed feelings about Jade’s behavior within Azul’s dream. I’m NOT saying any of this is out of character or that all of his moments were bad. There were lots of little standouts (like Jade’s motion sickness, the passive aggressive “Azul-san”, smashing up the restaurant, and, of course, him and Floyd grabbing onto Azul and then trusting him to make it out on his own before choosing to let him go). Unfortunately, there were just as many examples of Jade wasting time and meandering, which I was a little annoyed about. The world might be done for if y’all don’t hurry it up 😭 You do NOT have the time to casually smash plant pots or to sit idly by and go “…………” while you watch Azul act like an idiot. I know you have a bigger brain than THAT, Jade. If you already knew what Azul’s weak point was, then you should be acting on it much sooner, not wasting my time like this.

I can see the reasoning for some of this to an extent. Jade is the type of person to drag things out; he wants to enjoy the show as others struggle to attain what they desire. The problem is that this segment still feels… forced or artificially drawn out simply because of the already established pattern of “well we gotta dedicate more time to the OB boy, we have so many other novel assets and scenarios to show off!!” There continues to be so little urgency while prioritizing showing off new assets or even things that seem cool in concept but may be lacking in execution because of how fast new stuff is being thrown at us. It’s just so frustrating because it creates this domino effect where the implication is that Jade doesn’t seem to be taking the situation seriously even though he, as an individual who is skilled in reading others + pinpointing their weaknesses AND as one of Azul’s close aide, should automatically clock what would reasonably wake him. But nooooo, Jade doesn’t do it right away because HEY, we need to create contrived scenarios where he, Floyd, and Azul have to use their UMs once each. Why? Because we have to follow the patterns we’ve already established in the updates before theirs! No other reason, we’re not allowed to stray from the formula! This is even worse when you think about how Jade was somehow unable to deduce that Azul would have moved the contracts to his own room… Like shouldn’t that be the FIRST place you think of, Jade????? No??? Is this an excuse so you can waste time using your Mouse mandated UM on dream!Jade to get the location??? 🤡 Okay, I guess…

The one last thing I have to note is that I’m so glad his and Floyd’s Groovies don’t show them crying. I feel like a lot of people were anticipating that because we previously had Kalim and Rook breaking down… However, it would be remiss to equate all the characters as being as emotional as those latter two are. (Lilia, Sebek, and Ortho were also limited story cards and none of them featured crying.) That’s not to say that I think the twins are incapable of expressing intense sadness, it’s that I don’t think they’d shed tears while attacking each other or Azul. Not crying doesn’t make Jade and Floyd “worse” or “less emotionally available”. It, in fact, alludes to the strength of the trio’s bond. It means they trust the others to be strong enough to take the hits, to fight back and to survive. The same thing is demonstrated when Jade and Floyd willingly let go of Azul and allow him to sink into the darkness, even wishing him well before they do. And to that, Azul just says the same to them (in a smug tone). These three trust each other, and that is why the twins don’t shed tears; how can they cry when they fully believe the ones they’ve chosen to spend their time with are strong enough to make it out on their own?

Overall, I just 💦 do not like the rigid skeleton of these dreams… (which I’ve already expressed before here!) I’m so tired of the same thing back to back, and no matter how many details they try to change to make it cool or feel unique, it always comes at the cost of pacing or, in this case, some character integrity being removed. xbjsvskwjekw Maybe I’m just more sensitive about this since I hate it when a smart character has to actively be dumbed down in order to progress the plot in a certain way. This is a much more subtler of a dumbing down than what book 2 did with Leona, but… It still doesn’t leave me feeling very good 😔 If anyone has played the first Ace Attorney game, this feels a LOT like that part in case 2 where Phoenix is too dumb to check the back of a receipt until Mia literally tells him to. The character has to actively be made stupider because the scenario calls for it, and that really rubs me the wrong way.

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker: Downfall part 3

Ultimately, I associate the Wizard Breakdown Tracker with Aeor; I began it during the middle of the Nein's Aeor arc, and even bringing it back for the Nein reunions feels like it's missing something. That thing, it turns out, is a city of Wizard Hubris.

There are no wizard PCs so we can dispense with the formalities. For the purposes of this post, while The Raven Queen is an ex-wizard, Emhira isn't and is counted as a warlock, and The Raven Queen is counted as just a straight up god. As always, in no particular order, and if a wizard is not mentioned it's because I didn't have anything funny nor serious enough to say about them.

Calamity-era Wizards

Adamar: literally no idea. I think he was stressed but he got vaporized by Meteor Swarm (completely within the realm of mortal achievement btw; Imogen Temult could take it in 4 levels) before things really broke bad. Like 7/10; he was in pitched combat but he had 3 dragons and a bunch of demons on his side.

Primarch Selena: There are going to be a few wizards in this who truly do embody a more profound breakdown than anything we've seen before. Selena is one. What does it mean to be so good at creating a mortal-made form of life that the god of beauty chooses to reside in this when picking a vessel? What does it mean to realize in the same instant that your life's work is what doomed you and its target is standing in front of you and now holds your life in their hands? In the end, she doomed her city twice while also actively repenting; it's not just gods who contain multitudes and conflict. But also 10/10.

Arcadia Cerenvetorix: Well, she got tricked by Asmodeus and stuffed in a bottle. Asmodeus did a good job of imitating her too which, as a deity of truth and knowledge cannot feel great, to know that Guy Whose Thing Is Lying has your number even if he is technically lying and therefore in his wheelhouse in pretending to be you. Then she gets let out having been saved by SILAHA, who as a result of saving her, cannot stop Selena. I have to imagine this series of consequences drives some of her decision making in the very end, although at that point she is technically not a wizard and therefore out of the scope of this post. Anyway, 9/10; she did almost die.

Cassida Previn: There's no option for this other than 10/10. Her revelations were delivered with far less kindness than even Selena's; we see her break. She has time to consider that her good intentions have doomed Aeor as well as find the deity she's risked execution to serve is a more complicated being than what she expected and does not approve of her greatest act of service. And that's before we consider that the Society of Primes is implied to have not been successful (we don't know, since the Factorum Malleus is never fired, so it could be a bluff; but the Primes are heavily indicated to be in just as much danger) and that's also before her final moments are being presumably tortured by Asmodeus. I don't know if she really renounced The Everlight; Asmodeus lies, but it's not an unexpected consequence. As The Everlight says, it doesn't matter; she was well within her rights to feel however she felt in those last moments and it does not erase all that she did before. If she didn't it was a lie from Asmodeus, and if she did, she is forgiven entirely.

Those guys who were dragons for a hot second: Honestly? What a way to go. I wouldn't even be mad. 6/10.

The Wizards In The Cognouza Ward: THEY LEFT SO EARLY. AND FOR WHAT. Like, yes, yes, you want to show the moment so you have to do it pretty early on because you won't have the viewpoint of the divine entities later on since they'll be in the Genesis Ward, but COME ON MAN. It really is like...you could have been The Ring of Brass to Aeor. If you wanted to sound the early warning you could have done some strategic teleporting of as many people you could get onto Exandria, despite the storm, and hell, you could have taken a long rest and planeshifted the next fucking day if you had to go to the Astral Plane so badly but nooooo you had to fuck everyone else over. I mean does anyone deserve a millennium of madness and horror as Cognouza eventually became? no. But like, maybe a few years for this bullshit. 5/10 because it isn't bad yet because they jumped the fucking gun. and again. for what.

843 PD Wizards watching this or just hanging out elsewhere

Essek Thelyss: I imagine he is like those pictures of the math lady except he fully understands the math. Absolute mind blown. Trying to figure out the Luxon's relationship to Tengar if there is one. Wondering why Aeor was working on Cognouza and the Factorum Malleus and not their various Luxon experiments. Trying to figure out if the gods used the same principle as consecution. Trying to reconcile the image of Lolth as weirdly adorable with the horrors he knows his people escaped. Also he has been watching a movie for like 13-ish hours but I wonder if floating means his legs haven't fallen asleep. 6/10.

Allura Vyesoren: I really like to imagine she messaged one of Bells Hells and they were like "can I call you back later we're watching a movie" and she is just like I am getting too old for this shit. 4/10 in like, the relative sense of all wizards in this 843 PD narrative are dealing with an existential threat but like within that context, 4/10.

Caleb Widogast: I feel like the Nein would be best deployed to Ria'Doin but he might be on some other weird mission given that Essek was sent to Aeor in his place, and hopefully, we get a one-shot out of this. For me. Anyway though for practical reasons he did just hear from Essek recently and Trent seems gone for good so, within the broader "Ludinus Da'leth is fucking over existence" context, also like a 4/10.

Yussa Errenis: Really hard to tell! What unhinged fuckery that doesn't require physically leaving the house is this small bastard (affectionate) up to. Is he on the moon? Is Nicodranas on a nexus point thus sending him to some far-flung region of Exandria? Did he try to question Halas and get trapped in the gem? Is he just ignoring Iva Deshin? Anyway given his track record I am going to say 9/10 and he is in some kind of peril that is low-key his own fault, but it's anyone's guess.

Astrid Becke: Imagine being screwed over so hard you have to go undercover in retail. I think that fantasizing over who gets to land a killing blow in D&D Actual Play is not terribly interesting; what happens happens, and such fantasies are usually a dull slog of "who is wronged most" which is never good. With that said I don't think she is the most wronged, if that's even a metric one can know; and also I know this is not going to happen given her very tangential nature as a minor NPC in the story being told here; and I don't think I am speaking about a just or kind world in this fantasy; but in a world that aims for justice but lands in pettiness, she would get the final blow on Ludinus Da'leth. 7/10.

Ludinus Da'leth: There's a tumblr-famous post in which someone makes a lot of wild-ass claims about the status of, iirc, women who spun thread in medieval Europe and then when people were like "I don't think that's right" posted a fuckload of links and the phrase "*steeples fingers*" and then someone actually clicked on the links and was like "uh none of these back up your point, actually; most of them have little to do with it and what few do address it either contradict what you are saying, or are similarly unsourced from non-experts." Anyway I think we can all see the value in checking the citations and vetting your sources here, a lesson The Martinet seems to have failed to internalize. He is however either at a 3/10 or an 8/10 depending on precisely how up his own ass he is and whether he realizes he showed footage far too complicated to make but a single easy argument.

[igotanidea]

Ranking: Jason Todd x fem!reader

graphic by @huedmmi (amazing job with that, thank you!!)

Summary: heroes couples ranking? Might seem like a good idea, but not every pair can make the top......

This is placed in the Ego!verse, cause been a while since I wrote for that. You can find other stories of this verse in my masterlist.

***

„What are you doing?”

„Reading.”

“What are you reading?”

“NOTHING!”

Jason sneaked behind her back, trying to sneak a peek of the article on the Internet Y/N was reading. However, all the time she spend being in the relationship with him and her vigilante instincts combined made her act quick enough to shut the laptop before he could see as much as one letter.

Jason smirked

“Oh, you’re hiding something.”

“What?” she scoffed “I’m not hiding anything.”

“You can’t lie to me, you know it.” He teased leaning forward, their faces inches away from one another

“Are you trying to intimidate me?” she moved even closer “Sorry not sorry, but it’s not working.”

“Well then maybe I just have to keep convincing you…..?”

“I’m the one playing with minds, not you, remember?”

“Come on princess….. just tell me what you’re hiding…..”

“Nope.”

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t be a tease.”

“Have you met me?” she smirked “Tease is practically my middle name.”

“Please?”

“No.” she cut him off “now stop whining, get up and let’s go.”

“Where exactly?”

“Batcave, duh! Did you think I was asking you for a date, or something?” she raised an eyebrow, looking at him teasingly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it……”

He didn’t like the idea of going to the manor for the debriefing, but….. there might be someone who could help him digging some information out.

***

“Drake. I need to talk to you.”

“Mhm….” Tim muttered not really paying attention, his head elsewhere “How about we reschedule that for next month? I’m busy…..” he tried to take a sip of coffee, but before the god’s drink found a way to his mouth, Jason snatched it out of his hands.

“Drake!”

“Give me back my coffee, Todd……”

“Not before you help me.”

“And why should I do that?”

Jason sighed in frustration. On one hand he could just tell Tim was this was about. On the other that would mean showing his vulnerable side and that was a no go. So he just settled on standing in Tim’s room, holding his mug of out his reach, considering pros and cons of each option.

“It’s about Y/N.” Jason finally said, relenting “I’m worried about her.”

“About Y/N? Why? She’s a tough one. I mean, she;s in a relationship with you, I don’t think much can break her.”

“I’m serious, Tim. You may not notice this, but lately she’s been acting… closed off. She’s…. sad.”

“Sad? Cracking jokes left and right? Two days ago she almost made Dick fall off the rooftop telling one of her funny stories.”

“Please tell me it was not a story about me…..?”

“Nope. Those are not funny anymore and she found a lot funnier subjects. Nevermind… Tim shook his head. The point is, she’s acting normal. Why would you be concerned? Wait. Why would you be concerned?

“Cause she’s my girlfriend!”

“Oh…. You do care….” Tim smiles

“Shut up!”

“You want my help or not?”

“If you helping me require me admitting I care about her…….” Jason sighed “Fine, I do. I do care about her. Please, help me?”

“Of course, I’ll help you Jason.” Tim grinned knowing well enough he just got Jason right where he wanted him “and just so you know, it’s not a secret you love her.”

“Shut up…..”

“Fine! Fine!” Tim laughed at Jason’s flustered face “What’s the deal?”

“Y/N…..” Jason said her name with the mix of affection and worry “she’s been spending a lot of time in front of her computer, lately. She claims she’s reading. And I believe her. But whatever article it is, she’s been spending her time on, makes her distracted. It’s almost like she’s been avoiding me for some reason I cannot fucking understand. She’s lost in her head!”

“The girl is a mind reader, Jason. She can hear people’s thoughts. Is this really so surprising that she’s had enough?”

“Yeah, she had those…. Phases. But it’s not like that. She;s only like that because of what she found on the net.”

“Ok… Let’s assume I believe you. But what do I have to do with it?”

Jason muttered something incoherently.

“Sorry, what was that?” Tim chuckled

“I want you to break into her computer……”

“You what now?!”

“I need you to…..”

“Oh no, I heard you. You want me to hack your girlfriend’s computer. It’s just I can’t comprehend what got into your head.”

“I’m kind of desperate…..And you’re the expert on tech…..”

“I’m not buying into this…….” Tim laughs

“Come on, Drake!”

“Not a chance, Jason. Again. Y/N is a mind reader. She’ll find out what we did in a heartbeat. And I don’t want to have my brain grilled. I saw her in action, I know what it means to make her angry. “

“Don’t tell me you’re scared of Y/N…..” Jason mocks

“You are terrified of making her angry yourself…..”

“Ok, fine! She can be scary…… Fuck! You’re no use, Drake!” Jason jumped to his feet, rushing out of Tim’s room, fists clenched, muttering something under his nose.

“It was nice to see you too, Todd!” Tim laughed. He always found it funny how Jason acted under the influence of emotions.

***

“Grayson!”

“Jaybird!” Dick grinned at Jason, the second the latter came through the door to the kitchen “came for some brothers’ bonding?”

“more like binding” Jason rolled his eyes “unless you’ll help me.”

“You must be truly desperate to come to me for help…..”

“Oh, God… have you been watching Thor again?”

“I had a whole marathon. But sure, I’ll give you a hand with whatever you need. What is this about?”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N? What about her?”

“Oh, fuck, not you too. Am I really the only person who noticed she’s been acting off lately? Are you fucking serious?!”

“Um…..relax Jace?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to relax seeing my girlfriend hurting?!”

“And it’s my fault?!” Dick exclaimed with shock in his voice.

“NO! Yes! Wait, is it?” Jason took a step towards Dick “what did you do to her Dickhead!?”

“Nothing! I swear!”

“You’re lying!”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then why won’t she talk to me?!”

“I don’t know! Come on Jace! Don’t get crazy again.”

“Talk to her.” Jason said, calming down. As much as it hurt him to admit it, he was acting erratic and he didn’t want to be aggressive. Not again. Those days were behind him. “Please, just talk to her.”

“Why me?”

“Cause you’re the only person I can trust to do this without making her suspicious. And because she won’t talk to me.”

“Jason…. She’s a mind reader….”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that today. Thank you.” Jason mocks “I kind of remember!”

“Wait…..” dick eyes grow wide…. “I might……”

“You might what, Grayson?!”

“I might know what this is about…..” Dick muttered slowly, but seeing Jason furious expression, with his eyes burning he picked up the talking pace at once “ok, so there’s this little site with superheroes couples ranking…..”

“WHAT!?”

“I mean, not that I read it…..”

“Sure you’re not Dickhead…..”

“But Barbara…. She’s actually a fan. And so it Lois …..”

“Lois? As in Lois Lane?”

“Yeah….. it’s actually pretty popular amongst the girls… I mean, it’s not any ambitious writing on anything like that but when you need something to relax and unwind after a hard day…..Steph and Cass read it too and we spend last evening going thought it and gossiping and……” Dick started rambling “sorry. Not the point.”

“Make the point then….” Jason had to fight the urge to punch his adoptive brother in the face.

“Um…. Me and Babs….. I mean, Nightwing and Batgirl  might have scored first last week……  And I might have slipped a word about it to Y/N…..”

“You scored first?”

“Yeah…..” Dick smiled wildly “I mean we are a really, really good couple but I never thought we could beat Clark and Lois to the first position. Sure, I also might have did some things to catch press attention, but still I ……”

“Grayson, I am warning you…..”Jason hissed

“Sorry. Long story short…. The news got to Y/N. and you know her. She’s the investigator. She started digging and found the site and now she’s been kind of addicted to it, checking it out every week hoping Red Hood and Ego will make it to the list, but…..”

“But what?” Jason asked but he already sensed the answer.

“You did not…..”

“So what you are telling me, is that you scored first, and I didn’t even make the first …. Ten?”

“Fifty……”

“I didn’t make the top 50?!!”

“I’m not the one making those rankings! Stop yelling at me!”

“That’s why she’s been so sad? Was she disappointed? let down?” Jason asked. What he did not form out loud was the question whether she felt unloved? Because of some crazy internet ranking. “I gotta go talk to her…..”

“Yeah…. You should….That might clear the air. You know, honesty is really important. And honest is, I scored FIRST!”

“We’ll talk about that later, Dickhead. I got more important things to do now.”

***

“Y/N.”

“Oh, hey, Jace. What’s up?”

“I know what you’ve been reading.”

“You know what?”

“Stop it”

“Ok, fine.” She sighed “I’m going to kill Grayson for spilling the bean. “

“Sorry princess, but he’s mine. But now… about this … stupid ranking thing… is that really making you this sad? Are you…. Unsatisfied with our relationship?” he asked, all his insecurity and vulnerability coming out in waves. He doubted him his entire life. He always thought that Y/N was too good for him and one day she would just …. leave. And now, it was practically coming true……”

“what?” judging by the tone she became terrified of what he was asking her. “Jace….baby….” she dived into his arms, hugging him tight. What got into your stupid pretty head, you dummy? I love you… I love being with you. If I got discouraged by something someone writes on the Internet that would be …. Childish… immature… stupid.”

“But…..”

“No buts, Jace…..” she pulled back, grabbing his face with both her hands, looking deep into her eyes “I love you, you idiot.”

“I love you too, sweetpea…..”

“Now that is a new nickname……”

“Do you like it?” he smirks “tell me what does it do to you.”

“You’ll have to call me that a few more times just so I can figure out exactly what it does to me.” She smiles pulling him down to kiss.

***

“JASON!!”  

Next morning Y/N standardly checked out the weekly ranking. Just for fun… After that little making up and clearing the air she had with Jason all night, she couldn’t care less about what vigilante couples made the top 10 and who did not. She was happy with her boyfriend. And that was what counted.

But.

There was something so surprising that he just screamed Jason’s name the moment she opened the page.

“Y/N!!??” Jason rushed into her room, shirtless, his face confused. “Are you in danger?! What happened?!”

“THANK YOU!!” she yelled again jumping into his arms. Obviously he immediately pulled her into his chest, enjoying her warmth and hugs and kissed she started planting all over his face , but was still unsure of what was happening.

“Y/N? Not that I’m complaining, but what is this about?”

“We made the first place!! I mean, Ego and Red Hood did! Look, look….” She grabs his hand and lead him to the computer, pointing at the page, almost jumping in excitement. “do you see that?!”

“Yeah, princess I see it….” he smiles, full of smugness.

“Thank you!”

“I didn’t do a single thing…..”

“So, Red hood spotted making some sort of floral carpet for Ego was purely accidental?” she smirked, but her eyes were glistening with pure love and admiration. “You didn’t have to, you know?” she stood up, locking arms on his neck, his founding a way to her waist and pulling her close. “I told you I didn’t give a damn about those rankings and you must have been working at it for hours….”

“It was worth it, baby. Seeing that smile and those pretty eyes shining….. And maybe I deserved a little kiss?”

“Oh, you deserved so…. much…. more….” She brushed her lips over his, making that little kiss a promise of something more to come. “And…” Y/N pulled back “as a bonus, you probably pissed off Dick.”

“Oh, yeah… That was definitely my biggest motivation….” His grip on her waist tightened suggestively.

“Really?” she mutters leaning forward “maybe I can convince you otherwise? Show you what should have been your biggest motivation from the beginning?”

“You know I can’t say no to you, baby……”

[read-write-thrive]

part 1

“Waiting for the other shoe to drop”, while pessimistic, seemed to be a running theme in Charles Rowland’s life. It wasn’t really a phrase he heard when he was alive, to be fair, but at some point he’d come across it (probably hanging out with too many Americans, but can’t remember for sure) and it felt a little too much accurate. His dad’s come home angry again? Time to wait for the fallout. He’d gotten written up at school for not paying attention? Just a disaster waiting to happen. He goes against his best mate’s advice? There he goes, literally torn from Charles’s arms and back to hell, just as he’d said. Maybe the last one was a little dramatic, but that’s the gist.

The looming anxiety of it all usually slid off of him for the minor stuff, and was otherwise bottled up and shoved far away for the heavier stuff, but regardless he didn’t let it show. Have to keep up appearances and all. He’d only had one real instance of all those emotions blowing up (and he still blames the Night Nurse for all that mess) so he thought he was doing a bang-up job keeping himself together.

That was until his dad died. Yeah, it was rough, and he ended up berating the old man on his death bed, which probably was a shitty thing to do. And yeah, he’d needed a bit of a cry afterwards. So what? Blokes cried sometimes, and he was man enough to admit to his emotions and all that. The girls had done a good job of emphasising that he (and, mostly, Edwin) needed to express their emotions more. That it was healthier to let it out than bottle it all up. Not sure if they still needed healthy habits as ghosts, but it wasn’t hurting anyone. Just a little uncomfortable.

All that to say, it felt like his friends had been treading on eggshells around him ever since his dad died. Which was infuriating, yeah, but also didn’t make sense to him. Especially after he’d already cried—did they expect him to get angry again? To blow up over a dead man? He thought he’d gotten it out of his system just fine, so getting these weird vibes was starting to stress him out more than anything. He’d resolved to bring it up on their next movie night and ask why they were acting funny—didn’t want to mess up a case, after all.

However, he didn’t get the chance before it all came crashing down on his head. Ultimately, Edwin was the messenger.

“Charles, I—“ he took an unnecessary breath, “Have you checked on your mother lately?”

His undead heart went cold, but his default smiley ways were still stuck on, “Not really, why?”

Edwin’s eyes were sad, which was never good. He didn’t emote unless it was serious, “I think you need to visit her. She’s not faring well.”

And so they went. Turns out everyone hadn’t been waiting for Charles to blow up, but rather for his mother to pass and then for him to break down all over again. Edwin had been checking on her daily since his father’s passing, deducing correctly that Charles would be too swept up in the emotions around his dad dying to remember that his mum wasn’t getting any younger.

The girls weren’t free until the evening, but they promised to stay in touch and maybe visit later if they could (particularly if they could figure out how to visit the Hospice without rousing suspicion). And so Edwin and Charles were on their own.

Charles had rushed into the room, as if running at the issue would evade the emotions of it, or as if getting there quickly would reveal it was all a lie—neither of which were true.

Instead, he was face to face with a dying woman with some resemblance to the photo on the mantle in the house he grew up in—his grandmother, or maybe his great grandmother, or some favourite aunt, he couldn’t remember anymore— hair gone fully white, pulled back into a tight bun so as to keep her curls controlled, keeping her gaunt, sleeping face exposed. Unlike that photo, this woman was in a hospital gown, tucked into sterile sheets, with a tube under her nose to help her breathe. Gone were her usually loud and ornate earrings, her bare fingernails stained from years of colour. There was a singular blanket laid across her lap, on top of the sheets, that almost looked more familiar than the woman it covered. It was her, but apparently he hadn’t stopped to just look at her any time recently, if ever. It felt too much like looking at a ghost, as ironic as that felt.

She was awake, but halfway to dozing. There was someone at her side, adjusting the blanket and murmuring reassurances in what was definitely Punjabi. It had been so long since he’d heard it, added to having never properly learned anything besides English under the threat of his father, that he couldn’t make out the words. That realisation left a stinging feeling in his chest.

“A relation of yours?” Edwin asked at a whisper, coming up to stand beside Charles, almost entirely copying his position from that fateful hospital room. It didn’t seem as if either of the room’s living occupants had noticed them.

Charles blindly reached for Edwin’s hand for comfort, not looking away from the scene in front of him and matching his partner’s volume, “No idea. Don’t think I’ve seen them before.”

Edwin hummed, “Perhaps a little too young to have met you. Or someone your mother reconnected with recently—“

“I’m not really in the mood for deductions, love.” Charles said, not unkindly. Everything felt too fragile to be picked apart like that.

“Right. Apologies.” Edwin squeezed his hand and went quiet.

Charles squeezed his hand back in forgiveness, joining in the silence. He kept going back to what the stranger was saying, familiar consonants both soothing and devastating. What kind of a son was he, failing to comfort his dying mother, unable to speak her mother tongue, a stranger to his relatives? His tears were thankfully silent.

It took much longer for his mother to see them than his father. Several days passed, with the mystery relative coming and going more days than not, and the usual nurses and caregivers administering various care. Over time, the boys (the girls couldn’t figure out how to enter the space, but were supportive from their distance) had learned that the stranger’s name was Sangeeta, and she was a niece of his mother’s who’d noticed her steady decline and was the one to take her to hospital and then to hospice care. Charles’s mother had apparently stopped taking care of herself after her husband’s death, and she had refused other care, so at this point all they could do was make her comfortable. Charles spent a whole morning ranting to Edwin about it, how unfair it was that her life was so tied up in his asshole father’s that she wasn’t even trying to live after he was gone. Edwin, the deeply kind person he was, had let Charles rant until he ran out of steam, then gently pointed out that she’d been under the thumb of his father for far longer than Charles was, and that she’d now had to mourn her husband and her only child, which presumably takes a toll. Charles had started crying before Edwin had even finished talking, and Edwin had held him close on the plush sofa for the rest of the day.

It was hard to tell if it was a comfort or not when she finally saw them, but Charles decided that wasn’t important to think about right now, if ever. Right now, his mother could see him for the first time in forty years, and they didn’t know for how much longer. And yet, with all this time to prepare, he still found himself speechless when the time finally came.

“Mere laal,” She beat him to the punch, eyes glazed over but clearly locked on Charles, “I am glad to see you again, beta. It’s been so long.”

Charles let out a shakey breath, “Hi, mum. It’s—well— it’s been longer for you. I’ve visited a few times, over the years.”

She reached out a sinewy hand on a bone-thin arm, and Charles flew to the seat by her side, keeping his focus to make sure his hand stayed solid in her grasp. He vaguely noticed Edwin taking the seat beside him.

“Such a handsome boy. You were so young.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

Charles, all anxious energy and nerves, tears of his own threatening to spill, was quick to respond, “It’s alright, mum, I’m alright. No need to cry over me.”

She huffed, “Nonsense. You were the light of my life. Who else should I cry over?”

They were both crying at this point, tears streaming as they sniffled in turns. Edwin laid a careful hand on Charles’s back in a show of comfort.

However, that seemed to give Charles an idea, “No, really mum, it’s okay! See the bloke next to me? His name’s Edwin, and he’s been by my side all these years! He’s the one who first found me, and we’ve been helping people ever since. It’s been aces. Not sad one bit.”

Edwin stiffened at the mention, then all but froze when her eyes turned to him. He knew he looked night and day from Charles, and if he started talking she was bound to find him as abrasive as everyone always did, so why had Charles pointed him out!? If ghosts could sweat, Edwin would be drowning in his nerves.

Her gaze stayed on him for a long moment before she broke the silence, “He’s been good to you? Not like those other boys.”

Edwin wasn’t sure what to do with that, but thankfully Charles was quick on the uptake, “Not like them at all. He’s— he’s the best, mum. None of those tossers could even compare.”

“Because the boys— the ones who—“

Charles gripped her hand, “I know, I know. He’s a genuinely good person, Edwin. I was bad at picking friends in life, but thankfully I chose well with this one.”

His attempt at joking was overlooked completely by her, “Those boys, how could they do that? I knew their families, John Parish’s mother went to your funeral… Such cruel boys…”

“I’m alright, mum, I’m okay.” Charles kept going, smiling even as the tears continued, “It’s all in the past.”

“I should’ve fought harder for you… kept you close… mere laal, taken from me…” She was sobbing, her whole frame shaking with hiccoughs.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Charles took a steadying breath, “You know I couldn’t have stayed in that house, mum. And no one could’ve known those lads would go that far…”

Her sobs were worse for a moment, then stilled suddenly as she fought for oxygen. She coughed weakly.

At that, Charles’s crying intensified, despite all he did to keep himself together. He could tell. He knew what was coming. It was still devastating to see. Edwin pulled him in for a proper side hug, taking care not to jostle his grip on his mum.

This did not go unnoticed, and the dying woman suddenly smiled, as if the devastation was forgotten with the oxygen. She looked back to her son, “I am glad you have been happy, beta. You deserved happiness.”

“I’m happy, I’ve been so happy mum, I promise,” Charles tried to calm himself down, stuck in his reassuring her.

“Mere laal, light of my life, darling boy,” She breathed with difficulty, smile dropping, “Can you forgive me? I failed you…”

Charles’s frame shook with his vigorous nodding, “I forgive you, mum, you did the best you could, I love you so much—“

Her weak smile returned, glinting in the lamplight of the evening room, “Thank you, beta. You were too good for me, for this world…”

“All because of you, I swear it, all thanks to you—“

“Charles.”

“I love you, I’m sorry I wasn’t a better son, I’m could’ve been better, gotten you out of that house—“

“Charles, darling.”

“You deserved better, I love you, I forgive you—“

“My love, the light—“

Edwin was right, a deep blue light had filled the space, illuminating the still body of his mother. Her face was pulled into a slight smile, eyes closed, as if she was having a pleasant dream, even as the tear tracks dried on her cheeks.

“No, no I’m not ready—“ Charles immediately started to protest, gripping onto her hand like a lifeline.

“Charles—“

“I only just got to see her! She only just got free of him! No, no, I won’t—“

Edwin gently but solidly grabbed under Charles’s arms, “I’m sorry my love but we should go—“

Charles was nothing but hysterics by this point, head thudding onto the sheets for a moment before Edwin fully pulled him away. He said more, but Charles was too overwhelmed to process it properly, buzzing in his ears and headache behind his eyes making him feel alive in all the worst ways. Maybe it was just the first time he had cried this hard in his afterlife, or maybe being this close to an active death did something to their physiology—

Everything was a blur as they returned to the flat, Edwin all but carrying him through the mirror so that he wouldn’t get lost on the way. They collapsed onto the sofa, extra large cushions taken up by their ghostly presences. The girls were already there, and joined into the cuddle pile without another word (or perhaps with a few, Charles still wasn’t all there yet). Edwin jostled them all slightly to better position everyone before settling in again, making sure Charles was properly surrounded.

Charles sobbed for a while longer. He wasn’t quite sure for how long, or what day it was, or if he was bothering his friends by taking up their time and space like this. His devastation had seemed to take over his entire being. But, when he did breathe a little easier, when he was finally able to sit up, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. His mom was dead, yes, but so was he, and dying had granted them both freedom from that man, from that house, from the cruelties of the world. And in his death he was surrounded by people who loved him, people who were there for him when he needed them and would still be there for him tomorrow, and the next, and the next. The other shoe had dropped, and it certainly hurt, but thankfully he had people around him to help him through it. He was truly lucky to have them.

~

hope you enjoyed this impromptu series exploring Charles and his parents and grief and loss and all those lovely things. this was inspired by the complicated emotions I have / had after my grandparents passing, and I heavily encourage you to do something similar if you’re ever struggling with these big emotions—therapists and such will say that journaling is where it’s at, but sometimes it’s easier to project onto fictional characters and that’s ok !!! and, just to drive the point home, I want to reiterate that you are loved, and there are people around you who are there to support you, I promise ❤️

also, just to make it abundantly clear, I’m a v white midwestern american and as such have vvv limited knowledge of cultural aspects of Charles’s mom—I did research and tried my best, but if I screwed anything up PLEASE let me know so I can fix it!!!!! same goes for Britishisms ig but mostly looking for feedback on her Punjabi and her various cultural elements :)

[matan4il]

Buddie 617 meta

I’m gonna be honest here, this was one of the funniest 911 eps to me. I loved how this ep showed us both Buck and Eddie completely sucking at dating. It was very obvious in Buck’s case, what with each attempt to have quality time with Natalia being ruined by one of his past decisions, but then when he called out Eddie for also sucking at it, Buck wasn’t wrong. Eddie’s attempts seem half-hearted at best. First off, if he really wanted to date, then Tia Pepa’s help and dating apps are actually not that awful as options. Magic might happen there as well. The right person could even stand out more against a sea of not so great choices, turning the dreary experience into a colorful, magical one. But even when Eddie tries on his own, his attempts are LAME. Seriously, there are pastime activities that offer way more potential to start a conversation, and maybe a romance, than the ones Eddie chose. Not only that, these are not his actual hobbies, where he knows he’ll find someone who likes the same thing he does (the way he shares so much with one tall firefighter that we’re all thinking of right now. Eddie’s also being dumb about wanting it to “just happen” as if that’s not exactly what he got with buck. Also, just a friendly reminder that Buddie have been dating for almost 5 years, and they are GREAT at it when it’s with each other).

On top of that, we for real got a guy checking Eddie out (hi, hello, should I start a collection of him checking and being checked out by guys?) as well as him witnessing a woman he was looking at being embraced by another one. Why the hints at being surrounded by queer people? Your guess is as good as mine, but I’m here for it no matter what. ;D Now, I’ve talked before about the ongoing theme of Buddie’s dating life being intertwined in terms of when they start dating someone, or of why they break up, but now in addition to them dating at the same time, we also see them simultaneously sucking at it? Yeah, that takes the connectedness of their dating life up a notch. ~~

Which brings me to one line that grabbed my attention in this ep. THE line that offers the explicit resolution for the most important romantic plot here is the one from Gina, the insurance lady, to Chimney, about not regretting the attempt. Yes, even when the result is bad. That’s what Madney will embrace. One of the biggest obstacles to Buck and Eddie, besides their obliviousness, is the fear of ruining the good thing they have by attempting to take it to the next level. But here we have Chimney being reminded by Gina that it’s worth it, to try. Because the good thing you can have, if it works out? Is worth it. And you never have to live with the “what if” of it all. Now look at Buck and Eddie being once more adorable morons together on the job! Imagine the moment when they stop running around and let themselves try taking it to the next level, because they realize no matter what the result will be, they would never regret the attempt. ~~

Speaking of Buddie paralleling one of the canon couples on the show who were acting lovey dovey in this ep, the way Bobby described what made him and Athena happen reminded me of Buddie connecting. In both cases, there’s an intense and upsetting call, after which one of our first responders turns to find support (Buddie promising to have each other’s back) and comfort (Eddie wants to go grab something to eat together) in the other one. ~~

I did not miss Taylor Kelly, and true to form, she was back because she’s advancing her career by exploiting her personal connection to Buck and the exposure to the 118 it provided her. I’m pretty sure this basically buries any option of any showrunner ever trying to re-set these two as a romance, since it echoed and reinforced Buck’s decision to break up with her. It WAS funny to see her and Lucy cockblock Buck (I do think Lucy’s tone with which she spoke of their past also closes the door on anyone ever trying to set her and Buck up as a serious couple), but what I found to be funniest is that Buck tells Natalia he was trying to figure out the perfect place for their date, and then he took her to the bar where he kissed Lucy. A bar reminiscent of the one where he hooked up with Taylor. Possibly a spot where he hooked with other women during his Buck 1.0 stage based on how it’s THE hang out place for the 118 and we know Buck had no issues hooking up anywhere back then. Natalia, hon. This is not a good sign for your r/s with him. ~~

Speaking of which, there’s an ex who didn’t come back in this ep, but her spirit loomed large over Buck and Natalia IMO, and that is Ali. The reason why she and Buck broke up after 218 is because at the end of the day, she couldn’t accept the choices he had made in his professional life (hoping he would move on from firefighting). In the same way, Natalia revealed in this ep that she can’t accept Buck’s choices in his personal life. A small reminder the only partner we’ve ever witnessed truly seeing and accepting Buck, in every aspect of his life, has been Eddie. ~~

Another funny thing about this (911 is a comedy, y’all) is how Natalia flees the second she comes across Kameron. I mean, this is in addition to the hilarity of the death doula’s first name connecting her to birth and to all things natal, yet she flees the second that she sees a pregnant lady. Because if this is Natalia’s reaction when it comes to a bio kid that Buck explicitly said he is not going to raise, what would she do once she realizes he co-parents a fully grown kid? (and a very sassy one, too. LBR, Natalia doesn’t stand a chance in a show down with either Diaz boy) ~~

Much like Natalia doesn’t seem like the right fit for Buck based on this ep (or based on 616), neither does Marisol. Can I point out the fact that Eddie’s disapproval in the last ep of Buck dating Natalia applies here, too? They both met these women on calls. Second, Eddie wanted it to happen naturally, which is why it’s so lame he tried through all sorts of activities that he’s not ACTUALLY into and wouldn’t continue doing past the initial stage of meeting someone else. And that holds true for Marisol as well. We saw that her brother and her are very into DYI, which I guess was meant to lay the groundwork for Eddie running into her in a DYI shop. But the thing is, Eddie himself isn’t into this! Sure, he can do it, because as a single dad he’s had to, but it’s not something we’ve ever seen him being passionate about. He’s only at this store because of Christopher’s project. And then once more, just like he steps away from Pepa’s help, dating apps and chooses the wost places for a chance romantic connection, he walks away from Marisol even when the whole scene plays out as if she’s the climax of his search throughout this whole ep. This might all hint that despite initial appearances, just like the people he came across while golfing and hiking wouldn’t be the right fit, Marisol wouldn’t be either. Even more importantly, just like Ana at first appeared like she would be perfect for Eddie in 312, starting out in a “it just happened” sort of way and with supposedly being fated because she happened to guess correctly that Eddie stands for Edmundo, this thing with Marisol might look in the moment like it’s exactly what he was looking for, but it will fizzle out as well.

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the incredible @whosoldherout​​, there are no words to describe how much I love your gifs and appreciate you!

~~ Thank you to anyone supporting these meta posts. I could never express enough how grateful I am and that they continue to exist thanks to you!

[heartfullofleeches]

I think Sunshine prince will be trust fund kid with brag a docious ton of Lamborghini in moderen au

Works for me

Modern Au Sunshine/"Innocent" Prince/Stoic Bodyguard Reader

The "Prince" is a spoiled brat with living parents that have the entire city under their thumb. He's given the title for his looks and charms; the sweetest little devil you could probably met - until you get on his bad side. When he's in one of his moods, generations will be ruined if anyone dares try to talk to him, even if it's to cheer him up. The week he found out his parents were getting him a guard - nobody was safe. Everyone's favorite teacher lost their job of thirty years for giving him a quick pep talk while he was seething. This all came after he had an altercation with another student for play flirting with their partner though he was the clear victor. His parents thought the world was too dangerous for their sweet baby. They thought he was a child - weak. He'd show them. He'd ruin his guards life and make them regret stepping one foot his house and-

"Lunar, meet Y/n. They will be attending the same college as you, but outside their studies they will be with you at all times."

And-

"A pleasure, Sir."

And....oh. He's never been called that before. Makes him feel like he's aged a century - but he likes the respect. You aren't as ugly as he thought you'd be either.

" I hear you have a reputation of being called a prince at your college. Would you prefer if I called you "Your Majesty" instead?"

There's no hint of mockery in your tone. You're serious.... Is it to late to take back what he said about ruining your life?

Princey here is all over his hired protection. He really lives up the "harmless babe, silly clumsy boy who can do no wrong." part of his act when you're around. He prefers bottled soda over canned because he can get you to crack them open for him and compliment your strength. He kicks open the doors of your class mid-lecture and whines about being hungry a whole two hours before break. You're quick to scold him for the latter, and your intervention plus his self dumbifcation leads to let mishaps among your peers - and eyes on you. Nobody is smart enough to make a move on you in his line of sight, but you pretty much become the school eye candy when he's off on his own.

The Prince moves out of his parent's four story mansion and into your dorm for a taste of that domestic bliss. Your living space gets upgraded to a two bedroom apartment because even his parents are wise enough to know putting you in one room would lead to trouble - but he weasels his way into your bed most nights regardless. He pushes his innocent act a little too far when he tries to get in the shower or bath with you, but rubbing his face on the towel you used is fine enough for now. Unbridled, unfiltered rage is casted at whoever may need your aid. You are his knight guard, and his alone.

-

[Bodyguard Guard Reader carries an unconscious peer out of the pool after they nearly drowned, their lips pale blue.]

"Oh my God. I don't think they're breathing -"

Bodyguard Reader: Don't worry - I know CPR

Prince Yan, pulling up with a vacuum: I got you covered!

-

Prince Yan: You pathetic, worthless, no good, low life, homewrecking, stupid, repulsive whor-

[Bodyguard Reader walks in]

Prince Yan: Y/n! I've been looking for you everywhere! Can you peel this apple for me with your teeth?

-

[Some thugs Prince paid off walking in limping and covered in bruises]

"Dude what the hell!? You said this was a joke

Prince Yan: The joke was it's funny you think Y/n would allow anyone to put hands on me. I would say you should see what they can do with a watermelon or pumpkin and their thighs - but if you did I'd have to skin you all alive

[cloverthebarbearian]

I am here to feed the Rugan community to the very best of my ability 😌❤️ she's a long list fella's so get comfy

Masterlist of Rugan HCs (NSFW under cut)

Rugan on the Road

With the Zhentarim

He's incredibly bossy while never doing much hands on work himself

He's always trying to find shortcuts to getting a job done quick and easy

Constantly pulling 'we're a team here we're family c'mon now' if his crew starts bickering

Empty promises of promotions or good words put in for low ranking recruits if they do extra work for him

But if you ACTUALLY manage to impress him though? He will show favoritism and not even try to hide it

Doesn't care much for following orders if he can get more from a better deal, but has been getting sloppier about hiding his schemes with age (girl why did you offer to split profits on a smuggling job with a complete stranger for real)

Big drinker, heavy sleeper, still somehow the first to wake up every morning

Also the first one to duck during a battle if he finds an opening

First one to act like 'we sure showed them! By working together. As a team.' When the fights been won

As much as he loves to slack off and take shortcuts, you'll never catch him complaining about the 'little' things. Low rations? Not hungry. Long journey? We need the exercise. Small crew? Good for stealth, travel light.

Even though he's a selfish asshole, he has a really charming demeanor and good enough attitude during the shittiest of situations that most people find themselves enjoying the journey with him by the end of the day

With Tav's Party

(Let's say after you've saved him from being near beat to death for finally getting caught scamming the Zhents, you convince him to let you escort him to Baldur's Gate just to make sure he doesn't get jumped again and fucking Die)

The man is SO flirty. He can't stop flirting. Depends on if Tav is into it or not will drastically change how he comes onto them, but note its not JUST Tav hes flirting with. He's got eyes on practically everyone. (Except Laezel. He tried, once. She threatened to kill him) No one knows if hes serious or if its just his personality but the man can't stop flirting.

At first, he puts in some work. Wanting to put in a little effort to carry his own weight and not be a burden, though Tav insists on him resting after the ordeal

But it doesn't take long for him to milk the mothering. His injuries suddenly become too distractingly painful. Even though Shadowheart absolutely mended that broken rib two nights prior. He insists the bruising is still pretty serious. He needs to save his strength for travel.

The entire party gets pretty sick of his BS after a while, but its not enough to kick him out or anything

Phrases like 'shut up rugan' or 'fuck off rugan' become campsite mottos

Once you all get to Baldur's Gate, its a funny, bittersweet dynamic of everyone saying they're releaved he's finally leaving, but reluctant to say goodbye

The first night without him is unusually quiet without his drunken campfire stories and earth shakingly loud snores

Rugan as a Mentor

No ulterior motives in the sense that, he only ever recruits people he also finds attract. A bias he refuses to outright acknowledge ('I have an eye for talent! Not my fault the talents also a looker 😏') so he would recruit Tav with every intention of possibly bedding them. The motives are not ulterior. They are perfectly apparent.

Similar to in game canon, he'd recruit them by trying to come to some sort of sale arrangement. Though lets say instead of selling the chest to split profits for themselves, he convinces Tav that rescuing him would surely warrant a reward back at their base, which would in turn lead to more jobs, which would lead to more money for them

Always insists on training his personal recruitments himself (for the non-ulterior ulterior motives)

Is FULLY the type of coach who has to insist their stance is all wrong so he can stand intimately behind them and guide their limbs to the proper position

He's got his cheek pressed to their's, gruff voice low, talk'm'bout 'You're far too tense, Sweetheart. You really need to relax those shoulders and widen your stance, like this...'

He's entirely aware of what he's doing and makes Zero effort to be subtle about it

General Rugan HCs

SFW

Drinks a lot but holds it well

Getting him truly drunk is VERY funny and usually ends up with him gushing about how much he cares about his friends, his guild mates, stuff he'd never be caught dead saying sober, and will insist he never said drunk either

Has 101 stories of his decades running jobs on the road, most of which you're certain are entirely made up... Until you meet an old business partner of his one day, who can corroborate the tale

For such an experienced merc/trader, surprisingly light on battle scars

Very, VERY ready for retirement. May have even been getting sloppy with his scams on purpose in the hopes of being kicked from the zhents all along...

NSFW

The man fucks. The man FUCKS. Rough and sloppy and hard and like its the last romp he'll ever have every single time.

Will always make sure his partner finishes, typically more than once

Likes to choke his partners

Likes to cum on their face

*Gasp*! Oh noooo, we can't find/afford a room to rent for the night. I guess I'm just gonna have to take you right here in this ally by the bar 🤷🏼‍♂️ but you better be quiet, unless you want to get caught...

Big into dirty talk and will practically narrate his plans for the evening as he acts on them

Has the stamina to last hours and prefers to take his time but still always down for a quickie where he can get it

Sorry everyone, but the idea of aftercare is lost on him. When you're both finally spent he's literally tossing you a damp rag while he steps out to smoke a Fantasy Cigarette

Cuddles in his sleep, and doesn't even know this about himself. But you will wake up in a near-suffocating bearhug if you fall asleep together

[sturniolo-rat]

Am I the Villain? I Don’t Think I’m the Villain.

Part Two: I Might Be The Villain. Coming soon

Sub!chris X hard dom!reader

A/N: Please forgive me this is mostly just foreplay but it's 1,000 words long so I needed the chop the original fic in half

Contains: little choking, mostly just reader being dominant

TW: It's just vibes tbh

In which Chris misbehaves at dinner and needs to be punished

“Baby, I need you to behave tonight,” I tell my boyfriend. It’s only an hour before my boyfriend, and I have to head out to dinner with his brothers. He’s been rowdy today, and I really need to make an excellent first impression. I can’t have him saying anything unhinged about me or our relationship tonight.

“Sure thing, Mamas.” He says as he slaps my ass.

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Chris, I’m serious.”

He puts his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll be good, I promise.” I give him a stern look, and he smiles sweetly back. I take his hand and lead him upstairs and to the master bath so we can shower together before we get ready.

I ask him to undress and sit on the counter as I turn the shower to his favorite temperature. Personally, I think it’s way too cold, but I’m hoping if I treat him really nicely and show him what will be waiting for him if he acts right, he’ll control himself at dinner. When I get the water at his perfect temperature, I turn to stand facing him. He stares at me with anticipation. He’s unsure what I plan, but he’s happy to participate. He’s a good boy, and he loves to do his part.

I slowly take my shirt and pants off. I’m only in my bra and pants when I say, “You can take the rest off, Baby.” His cock jumps at the thought. He starts with my bra. It hooks in the front, and I can see his eyes light up as my breasts become available to him.

“Can I touch them, Mommy?”

I hold his chin and tell him, “No, Baby. You haven’t finished your job yet.”

“I’m sorry, Mommy.”

“It’s okay, Baby. This is a present. You promised to be good, and since I believe you, you deserve a reward.” I push him to his knees so his face is level with my pussy.

“So, finish your job so we can get to the good part.” He kisses both of my hips softly before slowly pulling my panties down. He’s so sweet. I love it when he acts all nice and thankful. I lift my left foot, then my right foot, and step out of my panties. He looks up at me and waits patiently, holding my hips.

“Did you wanna be the boss for a little bit, Love.” He shakes his head enthusiastically.

His grip on my hips gets harder. “Yes, please.”

I hold his face in my hand, kneel to kiss him on the cheek, and trace my thumb on his bottom lip. “Only for a little while, Baby, so don’t get too excited.”

He bites my thumb, and we rise to our feet together. Standing at his full height, my face comes up to his chest. I have to look up at him. He looks down at me with darkened eyes and tells me to get in the shower. I do as I’m told, and he follows behind me. He positions me so I’m directly in front of him, facing the stream of water. The water is cold, and my nipples pebble instantly at the sensation. His boner pokes me, and I wiggle my ass on it in response. Chris grabs my hips hard and forces me to stop. “Stay still.”

I stand there quiet and obedient as he gets the bottle of soap and drizzles it over my breasts. Chris wets his hands, cups my tits from behind, and pulls my body flush to his chest. I can feel the cold metal of his necklace on my back. “You’re so fucking pretty, Mommy.” He whispers as he begins washing me, making sure to squeeze my boobs gently and stop periodically to tease my nipples. He pours more soap and lets his hands roam over my arms, torso, and hips until he’s satisfied they’ve all been washed. I never asked Chris to wash me. It’s funny how he still chooses to be useful to me even when I give him free rein over my body. He doesn’t know what to do with himself if he’s not servicing me.

I feel his body pull away from mine, and I groan. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed him close. It almost hurts now that he’s stepped away. I’m distracted from my despair by liquid soap dripping down my backside. Chris massages my ass with both hands. It’s not soft like how he was with my tits. It’s hard and desperate. He stops to give my ass a few taps. I look back and smile at him before shaking my ass again. He moves closer and lines himself up so he fits between my cheeks. He grabs my hips and digs his fingernails into my skin, and rocks me back and forth on his cock at a slow controlled pace. He’s using my ass to tease himself. He’s such a good boy.

His slow pace doesn’t last long. He lets go of my hip with one hand, wraps it around my throat, and keeps me in place with the other. When I look back at him, he kisses me roughly and starts rutting into me relentlessly. “Thank you, Mommy.”

I can feel his sharp, shaky breaths on my neck. Chris can’t help but be frustrated. He’s aching to fuck me, but he knows it’s the one thing I won’t allow. “Time’s up! You can cum when we get back.”

He yells, “Fuck!” And it’s not your typical upset fuck. It's a grown man’s favorite team just lost the championship fuck. It comes from deep in his gut and expresses his pain perfectly.

“Let’s finish washing up.

He grabs my hand. “Mommy, please!” His puppy dog eyes break me down a bit, and I tell him

“Fine. You can make yourself cum once I leave to get dressed.”

“Thank you so fucking much.” He kisses me on the cheek, but I can tell he’s unsatisfied. I feel a little bit bad for him, looking all mopey and sad as he watches me rinse off. I’m one step out of the shower when I see him reach for his cock.

“Not now, Baby. You get yourself nice and clean before you touch yourself.” He lets out a pathetic groan as he pumps the soap onto his hand. I genuinely am torturing this man. Am I the villain? I turn around to reach for my towel when Chris suddenly gives my ass a really hard playful pinch. He’s right back on his bullshit. I don’t think I’m the villain.

@rafecameronsbitch @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @mrsmiagreer @lovergirl4387 @gdsvhtwa @ashley9282828 @j-worlds-blog @stephanienwf @achrisgirly @draculaura123 @abbypost @Cind2224 @crazychrisl0v3r @ryli3sworld @bkwrld @pinkishpearls @pepsienthusiasts @stunza @chrattstromboli @sturnssmuts @angelic-sturniolos111 @69isabella69 @maryx2xx @sturniolo04 @bigbeefybitch @klaus223492 @r93339 @sturnzsblog @spotconlon55 @robins-scoop @junovrsmp4 @sturnlover4eva @blahbel668 @lilahnowheretobefound @luxy-nyx @tuffsturns @m0r94n @sturnstvs @pepsicolapussy333 @maddyslifesstuff @dogblof @honeymoonxxz @xplr-sturns-e-m @hayhjelmstad15 @thetriplets3 @y0urm4m

@slxtformatt

[droidders]

Transformers One review

I'll start off with a non spoiler review.

First of all, amazing voice acting especially from Chris Hemsworth and Brian Tyree!! I didnt think Chris would be able to do a good orion/optimus voice but boy was I WRONG. They did amazing. Scarlett Johansson's voice for Elita was an amazing pick and keagan michael for bee's voice is also good.

Stellar voice acting with so much emotion!!

The animation is amazing. And the way they showed the world of cybertron is amazing. The world building in this movie is so good, i seriously feel like cybertron is a real planet with real creatures with its own rules, history, culture. They made the planet feel so alive, its insane.

All the characters were likeable, i was really vouching for all of them to succeed in their goals. The movie knows when to be funny and when to be serious, and it can get REALLY serious when it needs to be. The movie talks about real world problems and reflects it so well.

THE TRAILERS DID NOT DO THE MOVIE JUSTICE.

The trailers really made it look like a kids power ranger type of movie. The trailers gave it a vibe of:

"Bumblebee, you go left! D-16, you go right! And Elita.. well, you just be elita."

When the actual movie really wasnt. I kept my hopes low cause the trailers weren't really hyping me up that much and i didnt expect much from the movie overall but holy moly my expectations were blown away. The movie does have its flaws like any movie but yeah. This genuinely feels like the spiderverse of transformers. Truly amazing.

Overall 9.8/10, amazing job to everyone who worked on this movie, YOU COOKED!!!

I highly reccommend watching it in cinemas. Its worth it, just trust me on this!!!

Waiter! Waiter! I'd like a trilogy of transformers movies that are as good as this!

Id also like to add that this movie is the best transformers movie. And you dont have to be an insane transformers fan like me to like the movie, nor do you have to watch any other transformer movie to understand it. Its a great standalone movie. Its a movie great for both new and old transformer fans and people who are just looking for a good movie to watch.

GO WATCH IT NOW.

Now onto the spoiler review

I said all that i wanted to say about the overall movie in the non spoiler review. Here, I'll talk about the actual characters and story.

THIS IS CINEMA HOLY MOLY.

I had to resist screaming in theaters especially the part where Orion and D16 went to that thruster thing to get a better view of the Iacon 5000 and d16 is all like: "You did all this for me?"

AAAGWGSFEGWGSGDGDHHYDTST

The character development with D16 slowly turning into the monster that is megatron is BEAUTIFUL.

The movie writes d16 in a way that makes us NOT want him to turn evil which makes him slowly turning into megatron and betraying orion all the more heartbreaking. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

Seriously, his descension into evil makes me wanna cry. His unbridled rage towards Sentinel portrayed through the voice acting is just WOW. You can really feel his anger through his voice.

The way his eyes change as the movie progresses is just great. They did great writing him, deep down I really wanted him to be redeemed and for him to NOT turn into a brute like sentinel even though I knew it was inevitable. Some transformations are good, useful even, but in the case of Megatron it was a terrifying transformation thats unfortunately permanent.

Sentinel prime, as much as I hate him he is still such a great character. I hate him so much I love him. THE SCENE WHERE HE WAS BEGGING D16 TO NOT KILL HIM SENT CHILLS. You can feel the amount of fear in his voice. It was a striking contrast to his confident demeanor, his ruthlessness as a 'leader', and he who is the literal killer of the Primes,

to see him BEG for his life truly shows how terrifying D16 is.

ORION PAX AKA THE GLORIOUS OPTIMUS PRIME.

A wonderful and entertaining main character. THE SCENE WHERE HE JUMPS OUT OF THE PIT AS OPTIMUS PRIME??? Holy moly that was so badass. AND THE LINE WHERE HE SAYS:

"We could've built the future together."

GOD IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY.

The expression he made when he saw D16 being absolutely BRUTAL to Starscream as he realizes that his friend is slowly transforming into someone evil is gut-wrenching.

And throughout the first part of the movie he was this reckless character who did stupid things, he had hope and determination unlike anyone. It made me question 'How could this guy possibly turn out to be the strong leader that Optimus is?'

But during that scene where he talked to the other miners and led the High Guard to sentinel made me 100% sure that yeah, this guy definitely can be a great leader. And the way he gave the miners a CHOICE to join him or not. That is PRIME.

Elita was a straight up girlboss. I love how they didn't make her just another love interest for Orion or made her just this girl who was a good fighter. She was sassy, witty, and a hard worker. I almost feel bad for her getting demoted and having to deal with the mess that is Orion, D16 and Bee. But anyways, shes an amazing character, really likeable personality who is way more than just a bot who's a good fighter (which was the impression i unfortunately got from the trailers)

Her pep talk with Orion was both funny and beautiful. She knows how to break someone down with her words and build them back up to be stronger. I loved her. Not to mention her design looks gorgeous??? Probably my fav elita design of all time.

At first I found Bee a strange addition to the movie and I was scared they were gonna make him an annoying character but thank god he really wasnt! He was a great comic relief character who had a lot of funny lines. He adds so much silliness into a serious movie and not in a bad way.

He knew when to be serious and the gravity of the situation with Sentinel being a terrible, corrupt leader. I loved the portrayal of him as this almost crazy guy whos been stuck being alone talking to inanimate objects in a place where all he does is burn trash all day (makes sense as to why he talks so much).

A really good character, thank primus they didnt make him annoying or overbearing.

Lastly, Cybertron itself. THE WORLD BUILDING IS SO GOOD. It's environment, its people (or bots?) make the planet feel so real. All of these cool mechanisms with the road and trains, the landscape during the train scene with the vapor wave-esque sun is just gorgeous. Such a beautiful portrayal of Cybertron that I love.

I personally dont think the movie NEEDS a sequel since the rest of the transformers just takes place after this, but if they make another movie thats as good as this, Im not complaining. If they do make a new movie though, I'll guess that it probably has something to do with the Quintessons or something idk.

Its a really beautiful take on Megatron and Optimus' backstory. And though there are many takes on it like how megatron was a gladiator and not a miner, etc,

This is still probably my favorite take on their story, its a really interesting portrayal of them and their fallout.

Anyways thats the end of my yap, honorable mentions to the music, it helped the immersion of the movie, and its really good.

Do note that Ive only seen it once, i might've gotten some stuff wrong but ill be looking to watch it again somehow in the future. My review may be subject to change but yeah.

Buh-bye!!

[revserrayyu]

2.5 Xianzhou continuance thoughts [part 2]

**SPOILER warning** for March first boarding the Skysplitter, Feixiao coming to Yukong’s aide, a healer in need of a medic and the fight against Hoolay. As always, refrain from reading further if you haven’t reached the first boss battle or finished the entirety of the 2.5 story because I’ll probably mention some things that happen later on.

Amidst the serious wolf hunt going on, I appreciate the silly conversations the game threw our way to ease the tension once we switched back to March’s perspective. Now that we know Hoolay is capable of turning foxians into borisin with just his fangs, it’s good for our Trailblazing companion to be a bit suspicious of everyone at the event, but thankfully this one soldier is just an awkward man doing his job.

We continue to be such a bad influence on our friends, even when we’re not around. I can’t even be mad that the game insults our mental health because this whole scene is just too funny. And most likely true because the Trailblazer is far from normal.

The whole situation with Hoolay’s plague-mark spreading fear and the danger it presents alongside these lines of Feixiao’s just reminds me of that one line from Serval during the Belobog story when we first escape the Underworld and request her help: “I know Cocolia’s style - get everyone into a frenzy first.” (yes of course I remember random Serval quotes.)

Wise words from our resolute General. She would make a good mentor, but I believe it was said (no clue on when or by who exactly), that she can’t really take on an apprentice because of her busy schedule and/or shortened lifespan due to her moon rage. Something like that. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong but I know there was a reason she doesn’t take apprentices somewhere.

Finally getting to the borisin attack scene that they teased us with during the 2.5 trailer and I’m truly impressed by how Feixiao manages to arrive at Starskiff Haven from Exalting Sanctum so quickly.

Granted, the speed at which she arrives is mostly due to her riding on top of a starskiff that she.. somehow acquired from who knows where, but the cutscenes switch up so fast from Feixiao reassuring Yukong she’s on her way one moment to then seeing her flying into the fray the next. I found it incredible.

It was also amusing to see Feixiao just ram the starskiff into an unfortunate borisin and crash land the whole thing while she remains perfectly unharmed.

Eeehehe, I just love that kind of pose where people hold their weapon over their shoulder like that. Not to mention that confident smirk of hers too.. aaahh she’s so cool~ And Yukong too. I still adore her. Shame we didn’t get to see her fight more than what the 2.5 trailer already showed us but hey, I’ll take what we can get. Better than nothing.

With the way you move, sweetie, everything is swift.

My assumption about Feixiao using Yukong’s bow from the patch trailer turned out to be correct. From wielding swords, gun blades, battle axe and bows, she can do it all folks! We love a multi-talented queen.

So that giant flash of light in the sky turned out to be Feixiao’s arrow.. good lord. At least she gave everyone a heads up about it so we could try to move out of range, but with how quick she acts, it couldn’t have be that much time. Thankfully Moze is kind enough to offer us some assistance.

Ma’am.. please calm down with the amazing cutscenes. You’re too much for my heart to handle. The powerful attack did seem to hurt her a bit though in the end, or it was her moon rage acting up.

Now there’s a question I’d like the answer to. How did people react to her bloodline? Or do they really not know about it and just see her as a foxian? Whenever I read about the Yaoqing, I see that moon rage is kinda common among foxians of that ship because of their close ties with the borisin, so perhaps other ships really don’t mind Feixiao’s backstory. After all her military accomplishments, I wouldn’t either, honestly.

Looks like we won’t be getting a definite answer either as she chooses to just taunt him instead. She’s perfect. I love her. I’d gladly beg for her.

Jumping back to the Skysplitter where March & Yunli meet up with Yanqing, the girls are rightfully suspicious of his sudden arrival and wonder if he’s a disguised borisin. It’s a fair assumption since they last heard he was supposed to be helping Feixiao, but he reasons with swift logic that ultimately makes fun of his own height and the truth surrounding that fact is hilarious.

For a whole side mission taking place back on the Luofu, there’s not as much Jing Yuan as I originally thought there would be. At least he’s working behind the scenes though, setting up a well thought of trap to lead Hoolay into by setting up a fake Wardance ceremony to draw him out into the ring.

The fight with the warhead himself was fine. I wish I remembered more of it but I didn’t really have any trouble with him.

The fight probably would’ve been more memorable if they didn’t cut to a flashback of a seriously injured Jiaoqiu right in the middle of it! AAHH! I’m actually kinda surprised that Hoolay kept him alive for this long (and didn’t completely eat him after everything either), but since there was no more use for him.. yeah, makes sense he would eventually toss our healer aside like trash and leave him to die on his own.

Oh goodie, yet another flashback to pull at my heartstrings. I wasn’t expecting Feixiao to be so much younger than Jiaoqiu..? Or more like I never really thought of who’s older/who’s younger between them before. I just assumed they were about the same age. Hearing him lose his patience with her was a bit unexpected, but when you remember how tired of Jiaoqiu is of learning that his patients lost their lives upon returning to battle and how the previous General asked him to personally save Feixiao, his annoyance is understandable.

Before Hoolay leaves Jiaoqiu, our healer reveals he knows about the bloodwine custom where borisin kill off their prisoners and drink their blood before battle to increase their madness. Hoolay confirms this and I can only assume that he drinks said blood from the gash across our foxian’s chest. Unfortunately for the warhead, Jiaoqiu seemed to have an ace up his sleeve.. which just so happens to be poison.

During my 2.4 posts (part 2 I think), I jokingly said that “this man could very well poison someone if he wanted to,” but sir, I didn’t want it to be yourself!? And with the most lethal of poisons too?? Goddamn.. that’s so extreme, honey. I’m not even gonna question how or when Jiaoqiu actually drink the poison, but he definitely needed to make sure Hoolay had a taste of his blood or else his impressive last ditch effort would’ve been all for nothing. Thankfully, his plan is a success and the sly fox skillfully uses the same advice he previously told Mok Tok & Hoolay about with feeding a child with picky eating habits: you hide the thing you want them to eat among something else. Green peppers chopped up into meatballs. Deadly poison mixed in foxian blood.

Nooo no no, stop this self loathing at once! Your life is nothing close to insignificant! Aahh.. he’s making me so upset. Half the reason being he’s seemingly dying, the other half is because of Mark’s brilliant voice acting. He was so dang good throughout this entire scene, from sounding broken and losing hope, to the weak chuckles when he finds the tiniest bit of amusement about his poison plan taking effect. Actually, his performance was wonderful throughout the entire story so far.

What isn’t wonderful however.. is how Hoyo baited all of us into thinking that Jingliu was going to return! All those mentions of her name and the cameo of her during the 2.5 trailer.. worthless! The Jingliu from the cutscene is nothing but Hoolay being reminded of her style when Yanqing launches a serious counterattack by taking inspiration from his own experiences of battling against Jingliu during her companion mission.

Like.. yeah, good for you young man for freezing the beast so effectively, but I’m still so twisted that our ice queen doesn’t actually show up. I know it makes the most sense that she doesn’t, considering she and Luocha are locked up on another Xianzhou ship, but maaann.. it would’ve been so cool to see her again.

Despite turning into a popsicle, Hoolay still manages to strike back against Yanqing, only for a true queen to descend onto the battlefield and stop his large blade effortlessly, just as she did to both Yunli & Yanqing’s last patch with just a couple fingers.

Sigh.. what an amazing woman. And there’s gonna be a whole lot of fangirling over her during the next post too. (probably).

[tonydaddingham]

✨ episode 1/2 - running commentary✨

- ok so im slightly disappointed that it's the eps i watched in the screening BUT IM DETERMINED TO LOVE IT ANYWAY SO WE REMAIN OPTIMISTIC AND WE MOVE~~

- angel crowley is so young and innocent my poor boy he's been through so much

- like now im watching it, it feels like putting it in a cinema was a Bad Choice and maybe that's why I didn't like it??? it feels way more authentic and cosy on tv

- im sorry but crowley sounds like such an old man in the park scene, "frozen peas... it's good for them too🙂"

- seriously this is so much more palatable on tv format i can't get over it

- OH MAGGIE I LOVE YOU

- aziraphale god bless ur little cotton socks

- god crowley's legs got me SWEATIN

- ugh crowleys hand in the cafe is so FRUITY

- lmao "purely selfish action" aziraphale is so self aware and I love it

- no im sorry but goob is the fucking star of the show you cannot change my mind but dialogue and delivery wise he is currently CARRYING

- Dartmoor mention had me creasing, that's literally on my doorstep

- aziraphale's bitchy ass face then he sits down in the backroom honestly watered my crops and healed nature

- okay im sorry but the dialogue is still a little off for me I won't lie💀

- beelzebub's accent is just 😘👌 perfect, but equally feel like they'd be perfect in a production of oliver

- god believe me i feel for nina but... I... do not like her, and they are NOT suited for each other at all

- I LEARNT MY PASSION IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED SCHOOL OF LOVER BOYS

- that dance is so low effort I'm sorry it should have been the macarena or cha cha slide

- crowley's bow tho is so hot he's so graceful he looks like a swan

- and yeah the refs to the other years that aziraphale did the dance is GIVING ME HEART PALPITATIONS ugh

- he and goob are like cats on a hot tin roof like IMMEDIATE hissing vibes

- lmao ok so that episode does end there then... such a weird ending im sorry but yeah let's fully retract the alternate episode theory (but @prime you need to hire me for s3 just a thought bc 👀)

- anyway ep2 I'm sorry but the angelic herald speech thing is cute and funny but also so cringe hmmm

- gabriel is lord farquaad ugh

- I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS IS A COMEDY UGH but i miss the slightly serious undertones in s1 sob god I hope they come back later on

- UGH THE TURTLENECK🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

- shax is mommy I don't make the rules

- I noted it in the screening but angel wings for earrings, Maggie????

- nice job on the lie aziraphale well done once again making excellent choices you're so smart and valid (utter moron)

- "SOUNDS A BIT UNLIKELY" LMAO GET FUCKED CROWLEY

- oh goob you really are going through it my bby I love u

- crowley's face after may god forgive you KILLS ME this scene is honestly the stand out one in both ep1 and ep2 if you ask me

- TY TY TY god bless u but you also make me so uncomfortable

- jobs youngest kid truly gives me life

- lmao the fact that aziraphale does actually recognise when crowley tempts him is hilarious tho bc he just conveniently disregards it by the bench scene in s1 hmmm character development or character regression WHO KNOWS

- ok no I'm sorry but the mukbang scene is so unnecessary and uncomfortable

- "whack the kids" honestly the best line of this scene imo, but upon reflection and rewatching it, crowley's demeanour is rather heartbreaking whilst he's reclined getting ratted

- FRANCES FRANCES FRANCES ✨💓

- 'but just to be able to ask the question' UGH CROWLEY STOP

- lmao shoemaking and obstetrics what a combo god bless

- THEY CAN ARRIVE AT ANY SIZE lmao and Michael is too sharp for their own good... but I do hate that gabriel is utterly inept, he came across as cruel and calculating if a little ignorant in s1 but not this comedically stupid

- "yes I bloody am" TY MY LOVE

- Michael sheen and David Tennant deserve nominations for the children swap scene alone, imo the strongest bit of acting in the ep im sorry 'you have my word as an angel' KILL ME

- why is nina obsessed with crowley, like I get it babes but also why

- THEY ARE SO MARRIED MT PARTNER AND I ARGUE OVER THE CAR ALWAYS "our car" LMAO 💀💀💀

- ✨✨✨IT WAS A NICE DAY, ALL THE DAYS HAD BEEN NICE✨✨✨

- ok the rock scene is so much more emotional on tv, so much better

OKAY RIGHT EP3 LETS HAVE ITTTTT

[wienersmosh]

rapid fire list of my smosh-related opinions:

noah grossman needs to have been phased out 3 months ago. people acting like FREELANCER contracts are so fucking ironclad and that's why smosh couldn't do anything are so disingenuous. they phased out saige in 2022, they could've very easily done the same to noah -- they just didn't want to.

eat it or yeet it was fun for the first few episodes, but they ran it to the ground when they realized it was a hit with the locals/casual viewers and they needed those numbers. it's SO absurd that they made 89 episodes and it got really boring, really fast. (i'm glad anthony got to be on it before they got rid of it tho)

i've always found garrett annoying and unfunny for the most part. he's maybe said one or two funny things in all of my time watching smosh and i will never understand how some people stan him or find him attractive.

to be clear even if they replaced garrett as host on eioyi, it would still be boring and stale to me.

i miss kimmy being on camera. she wasn't the funniest and the smiley sunshine persona can be a bit much but she was one of the better sketch actors imo.

i do not want the og smosh games cast back. it's also weird they keep bringing up smosh on their ogsog content. i'm glad they appear to be on good terms with ian and anthony but unless there's ACTUALLY a future collab in the works they need to stop namedropping smosh so much.

i don't necessarily miss saige on smosh but i do miss damien and saige as a couple.

i don't care if people don't like anthony or don't find him funny, but the way a LOT of fans (mostly on twitter and reddit) blatantly disrespect him, the fact that he started smosh, and him literally reuniting with his best friend, just bc they got rid of the unscripted series on main really pisses me off. also he's not to blame for EVERYTHING wrong with smosh today.

HOWEVER, that being said, i do believe there was a better way to transition smosh main. they could've had anthony do a speed run of all of their unscripted series to give them a proper goodbye, and THEN uploaded the sketches.

EBE was a hit or miss, but when they did it well they did it REALLY well.

other than ian, anthony, and finnerty, syd and olivia were their best sketch writers.

people who are genuinely mad that they have memberships now are overreacting. i get that paying for anything sucks but if you're an adult with a job in a first world country $10 USD a month *maximum* really isn't that much. also, they're independent now, that's just the reality of capitalism.

people who act like smosh is above any and all criticism genuinely terrify me. they're a youtube channel and a company, and as audience members we're allowed to critique them.

the old smoshcast was better than smosh mouth, but i might be biased bc ian did host most of them.

agree to disagree was a good series, but they botched it when they started using more serious prompts which caused a lot of viewers to lose respect for some of the cast for problematic opinions.

i used to like olivia but considering she was only in 30 videos last year and she really doesn't seem like she cares anymore, i don't get how they expect any of us to still care about her. also she posted something in support of israel on her story, but hardly anyone knows about it.

i love the guy but shayne doesn't need to be in every video. i get that he brings in the views, but jesus christ.

smosh pit theater is their best pit series, followed closely by beopardy.

i find a lot of their defy era series on pit eg sleepover, show with no name, put it in my mouth, etc to be really boring and i’m glad they got out of defy and sarah whittle was more in charge of pit.

i didn’t like angela at first but i love her now.

[scarredwoods]

Since Leo is your favorite obviously lol! What’s your opinion on Raph for 03 and 12

Haha, so fun fact, Raph actually used to be my favorite until Leo took over first place when I got older

Out of all the turtles, Raph became one of my first fictional crushes (plus one of my gay awakenings) when I was a kid, but I'll gladly still answer that question

(Warning, it's a bit long and has episode spoilers)

I was born in 2004, but I did grow up with 03 because I found all the episodes free on YouTube one day and continuously binge watched them while also watching 2012 at the same time. While I resonated with Leo a lot now because of the oldest sibling syndrome, Raph was the one who captured my young little heart with how cool he was.

12Raph: He's a sassy fucker who won't waste an opportunity to say something snippy towards one of his brothers. 1st episode immediately showed that when Leo was talking out loud so Snake could hear them talking. Although Raph followed his lead, he couldn’t help himself but make fun of him during the interaction and put the blame on Leo on how Snake got away. He's a very fleshed out character with multiple flaws that all tie together with his character. Despite the discussion of his anger issues having their own episodes, sometimes I wish the writers actually had Splinter show him or give him private lessons on how to control his anger instead of having everyone around him tell him that he needs to control it and how it's getting in the way of their team/mission. Sure Splinter gave him a breathing exercise, but that was a bout it, and Raph barely ever uses it in the show.

Thankfully, the show didn't make it seem like anger was his only personality and made an effort to show the audience that he had a kind and softer side using the animals around him like Spike, the roof pigeons, and Chompy. Also, Raph getting a girlfriend and Mona Lisa coming back was one of the best decisions the writers ever did. To me, they are the definition of ship so good, even the gays love it. I love Mona Lisa to death, and I love her relationship with Raph. They are truly meant for each other. *chefs kiss*

Overall, I give 12Raph 8.5/10, the writers giving Raph a bug phobia was so funny bit very fitting that tough guy like him is afraid of a tiny bug

03Raph: Where do I start. Obviously, gotta start with the obvious and put out how sassy he is. This guy will not hesitate to make a sarcastic comment even in the most dangerous of situations. I see it as his personal comedic relief. Yeah, he has a short temper, everyone knows that, but he only lashes it out to people his age or older people he knows can take it. But when it comes to little kids and animals, he'll be patient for as long as he needs to. It's clear that his tough guy persona is a shield to protect himself from all backlash of being a mutant turtle in a human populated place where he knows he will never be accepted. Yet when he finds people who do, he puts the shield down and lets himself let loose. The obvious example of this is with the old lady who mistook him for the neighbor's son. Yeah, Raph needed to get away from the purple dragons, but he could've easily left once the coast was clear. Instead, he stayed and helped the old lady and took the time to enjoy his break from the shield. He even came back to give her a briefcase filled with money after hearing how she was losing her apartment.

The guy loves his family and even drops the shield during moments where he thinks he's about to lose one o le if something serious happens to them. He was even one of the first people to notice Leo changing because of how similar he was acting to himself.

A thing that the writers did a good job here is during the episode when they addressed his anger issues (after almost bashing Mikey with a pipe) and finally resolved it in the end, the character development stuck with him. Which I'm really glad. Cause honestly, it's tiring when shows show that a character is getting better from something, only for it to be forgotten in the next episode.

Overall, this Raph gets a 9/10, especially because I love it when he laughs

Sorry if this was long, but I love yapping when someone gives me the opportunity to. If you have any more questions for me, please ask, I'll answer all :)

[lady-phasma]

Daemon is not a character I enjoy and I don’t feel any attraction to him. But I absolutely love Matt Smith. I am vastly more attracted to him when he is himself or the Doctor, than as Daemon. I think I just vibe more with his personality. What Matt character (other than the Doctor or Daemon) do you enjoy most? 💖

HI nonnie! Daemon certainly isn't for everyone, I get it. Eleven is goofy and funny and has his dark moments.

That's a tough ask. Like runner up I guess? So Eleven is definitely my favorite, Daemon a close second. Probably Prince Philip in The Crown (and not only for these two lines) is my third.

I thought I would do some honorable mentions as well and one where Matt has given his all to a role in a pretty terrible film. People might think of Morbius when I say that, but the one that comes to my mind first is always Terminator Genisys (2015).

Wow this movie is bad and I love the Terminator franchise. It was one of the first films he did after he left Doctor Who. I really want to spoil it for everyone but I won't. His character "Alex" isn't who he seems (you can google it if you want to). Matt really did a great job here, but it's painful to watch this movie fall apart over the 2 hours. My man gave it his all. (Not to mention that I like this haircut despite loving his crazy, floppy hair.)

Another honorable mention has to go to Jack, in the absolutely amazing Last Night in Soho (2021)! Matt is so good at playing villains that I really enjoy those roles. Jack is the absolute worst, but Matt makes him believable yet not over the top. Sleazy. It's a wonderful performance.

You can literally find some of my gifs of him by searching words like "Matt Smith's ears" because I have a serious problem.

So, I'm not going to review every role he's ever had because that's not what you asked. I will say I have yet to get my hands on a copy of Mapplethorpe (specifically the Director's Cut) and will watch it as soon as I can. I know it's been out for a while but it's hard to get. Until I have watched it, my last honorable mention is his role as Martin in Official Secrets (2019). It's his most understated supporting role, in my opinion. When he's the lead or part of an ensemble, he has loads of personality, almost overwhelmingly. This film is well written and well cast and that always helps. His role isn't huge but he performs it with sincerity and authenticity.

Rescue me chin boy and show me the stars. sigh. that chin though.

Was that long enough for you anon? LoL If you follow me (seems like you might), you know that I'm longwinded when I talk about Matt's acting. If you haven't seen these, I suggest you save the best for last and get Genisys out of the way first so you can enjoy the others more thoroughly. Most Matt fans have seen more of his work than they realize as his career his been relatively short and he takes time off from film/tv to do theater. He only left Doctor Who 10 years ago so you don't have a long filmography if you decide to work your way through it.

Always feel free to pop by and tell me more about your favorite roles he has played or let me know when you watch new ones! And that goes for this anon and anyone else. My blog is definitely one third Matt Smith, if not more. This ask made me so happy because I don't often get to talk about my man, since I mostly write fics. Thank you, anon!

[wendytestabrat]

wendy was AWFUL in season 20 (FROM THE VAULT [like 2020 or 2021 idfk])

Season 20 is really the season that ruined Wendy’s character like I know Wendy was always inconsistent because she was voiced by a million different people, but I feel like once they settled on April Stewart as her new voice actress around Season 8 they did a decent enough job developing her character in a new way and setting her up for something, because before that Wendy was just seen as Stan’s crazy ass girlfriend, the girl who got breast implants and shot a substitute teacher into the sun and kissed Cartman which were all things Wendy did in the early seasons before she was voiced by April Stewart. But then April Stewart gave her that more mature voice, and then we got some pretty good Wendy episodes like “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”, “Breast Cancer Show Ever”, “Dances With Smurfs”, “The Cissy”, even kinda liked her in “The Hobbit” even tho she was kinda annoying in that one DJSJSJSJ. But what all of these episodes had in common was Wendy was like the protagonist in a plot or subplot and we understood things from her side and could root for her, like Wendy was usually put in a completely ridiculous situation where she got to be the hero and the only smart and sensible one surrounding a certain issue, which was usually about feminism. Like I felt like I agreed with Wendy in “Breast Cancer Show Ever” that breast cancer is a serious issue and people shouldn’t be making fun of it, and I agreed with her that photoshop and our unrealistic beauty standard is harmful to girls. But then out of nowhere Season 20 pulled a total 180 on her character and made her that villainaous antagonistic person again where she completely irrationally started a gender war and turned all the girls against the boys and then broke up with Stan for no reason and then it just gave me war flashbacks from all the times in early seasons and stuff when we saw Wendy act careless and selfish and treat Stan like shit. Like when she dressed as chewbacca for halloween and told Stan to dress up as raggedy andy, all of the little obnoxious things like that that made her unlikable and antagonistic before. I’m just sooo tired of not knowing if I should be rooting for or against Wendy. Because it’s easy to make a protagonist or an antagonist or anti-hero likable u just need to know which side they’re on if they’re good or evil DJSJSJ and Wendy will do something good that makes us like her one minute and then she’ll just be a complete asshole another minute. Even Kyle who is rlly flawed and stuff is still more of a likable character than Wendy in my opinion because he’s still consistent, Kyle is usually just put in that protagonistic/anti-hero position where he fights to take down Cartman in every episode with him. Because in a lot of the episodes that focus on Stan it feels like Wendy is Stan’s antagonist and like she’s against him, but Stan is literally the main character of the show so they need to make it clear if Wendy is on Stan’s side and fighting for the same good causes that he fights for or if she is just against him DHSJSKKSKS.

UPDATE 2024:

also the shit when she made fun of heidi for being with cartman was CRINGE but it was funny when she was roasting heidi after she turned into cartman 2.0 bc she deserved it when that happened DJSJSKSDG heidi didn’t deserve the bullying when she was still the same sweet heidi