#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'
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dayurno · 8 months ago
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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
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kevindayscrown · 8 months ago
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List of things Kevin did/was revealed he had done in TSC that broke my heart:
(TW: Mentions of suicide/suicide attempt)
TSC Spoilers below
He gave Jean postcards and magnets from his travels because Jean never got to see the world the way he did and Jean cherished them dearly.
He made Jean promise he wouldn't try to kill himself again, and Jean is still holding on to that promise. Kevin once again, making sure to protect his loved ones in the tough-love manner (truly his father's son).
He gave advice to Jeremy as to how Jeremy can help Jean adjust, revealing some truths about Raven lifestyle and probably also exposing his own vulnerabilities.
"Will you teach me when he is not watching? It could be our little secret."
Things that just made me fall more in love with Kevin overall:
He was a drama queen to the Ravens as a distraction so he could help Jean.
Kevin being described as a bitch, diva, drama queen etc
"Take Kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth."
Kevin being so caring overall with Jean (holding his hand, being soft with him and giving him a better chance with the Trojans)
Jean defending Kevin. "He has earned the right to be arrogant."
Kevin being a lot more confident, especially after changing the tattoo, standing his ground, and being something stable for Jean to lean on.
Jeremy trusting Kevin that he wouldn't fuck the Trojans over with Jean, because he knows Kevin and he knows he is a good friend.
Beautiful boy Kevin leaning into Jean's space, whispering French in secret behind Riko's back.
Nora was truly honest when she mentioned that we would be getting a whole new perspective of Kevin.
Feel free to add more if I missed any.
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stabbyfoxandrew · 6 months ago
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Vampdrew please!!!!
WIP Wednesday (7/3) | Vampire Andrew AU (Part 151)
“It doesn’t matter. I’m over that.” Andrew lies. At Kevin’s head tilt, he sighs.
“I’m just aggravated that you think you know better than me about my fucked up condition.” Andrew grits out. “All of you do. It has become cumbersome, having the three of you micromanaging me. It is frustrating that I have to be vigilant about my urges constantly. It is painful to ignore them and—” Andrew sighs. “I have no use for pity so wipe that look off your face.”
Kevin manages to school his expression, but not his thoughts. It’s enough though. Kevin sighs and comes to sit down beside him, making the mattress dip a bit. “It’s not pity,” Kevin says. “I care about you, so I worry about you.”
“I don’t need your worry either.”
“Too bad.” Kevin says with a shrug. “You’ve got it. Deal with it.”
The two of them sit there, at a stalemate of sorts, until Andrew hears the theme to Nicky’s show playing out in the living room. After another couple minutes, he scratches an itch on his forearm and turns to look at Kevin again. He finds Kevin already looking at him.
“About what you were thinking out there. Never do it. It is a nasty habit and I am not sure I would be able to resist. If you were bleeding. If there was a lot—” Andrew says, clenching his jaw. He lets out a breath. “Don’t take the choice away from me. Do not force me to be a monster in the name of saving me.”
Kevin’s mouth drops open, but Andrew refuses to let him speak. “Promise me you won’t.”
“I promise.” Kevin says after a moment, his voice low and even. And sincere. The human wets his lips and Andrew watches his tongue move. “I didn’t realize… I just want you to be okay.”
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sunwoo-hoo · 3 years ago
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↣ the boyz reaction to s/o being shy /insecure 
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 ↳ a/n: hello my darlings! we’re back with another reaction for tbz. this was requested by hanagkskgks. i’m so sorry for the wait! i hope you enjoy it. also, these reactions are canon to my as your boyfriend series! so i highly recommend reading those as well! please, if your under the age of 18 do not interact with the post. PS. all bodies are beautiful and you should never feel ashamed for being who you are. x o x o
↳ genre: flufffyyy + smutttyyy 
↳ warnings: stretch marks, pubic hair, dieting, reader with body insecurities
↳ requested? yes
↳ send me your requests here!
↳ word count: 2.8k what the actual fuck these are mini drabbles at this point
↳ the boyz x fem reader
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「 Lee Sangyeon  」
you had only been dating for 3 months when you finally had sex with sangyeon for the first time
you had just walked through the dorms from another great date together after spending some much needed quality time 
“where is everyone?” you asked looking around the living room area not hearing the laughter and bickering like you usually did
“the guys all went to get some dinner together, it’ll just be us for a couple of hours.. is that okay?” he responded 
you were nervous to say the least, of course you and sangyeon have kissed many times, even made out but it never lasted longer than 10 minutes because the other members were around and you didn’t want to risk getting caught. 
in this moment it all started to feel very real, were you ready? could fully give yourself to sangyeon? yes, you loved him, tonight was going to be the night.
“it’s perfect” you whispered walking up to him wrapping your arms around his neck giving him a kiss on the lips. 
as you broke apart he smiled at you “baby we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. i want you to be comfortable” he observed
“no.. i want too. sangyeon i love you. i want this” you whispered he smiled as he grabbed your jawline tilting your head to give you another kiss. 
before you knew it you were in sangyeon’s room, him on top of you kissing your neck making his way down to your breast. he was about to pull off your shirt when you stopped him
“wait.. i-i’m nervous for you to see all of me..” you mumbled 
his eyes soften at you “you don’t have to be baby, your absolutely perfect in my eyes. nothing is going to change that” he promised 
when he finally took of your shirt he looked deeply in your eyes “you’re so beautiful” he whispered bending down to give you an eletricfying kiss before the long night ahead. 
「 Jacob Bae  」
sex was a new thing for you and jacob. having losing your virginity to each other you were still pretty nervous when it came to your body.
while jacob was more comfortable with his you still hadn’t quite matched his level even though to him you didn’t have a single flaw.
as you both were laying in bed watching t.v he started to trail long spicy kisses along the side of your neck making his down to your collarbone. you gently pushed him away
“jacob i’m sorry.. it’s not that i don’t want to it’s just that i don’t feel pretty” you mumbled not looking at his face
in retrospect it sounded ridiculous coming out of your mouth but you just couldn’t help the way you felt
he gave you a shock expression before he lightly grabbed your face to make you look at him
“baby, how can you say something like that? you’re beautiful in every way. in fact your way out of my league.” he reassured you grabbing your hand kissing the back of it
you smiled at his words as he continued 
“you have nothing to feel embarrassed about, i love everything about you. don’t ever forget that okay?” he said giving you a temple kiss
you leaned into his touch pulling him close so that you could continue to cuddle together.
「 Kim Younghoon  」
you were both equally shy when it came to showing your bodies for the first time to each other. 
there you were naked on the bed while younghoon was hovering over you.
you quickly covered your chest and closed your legs shut trying to cover as much as you could
“a-aren’t you gonna say anything?” you whispered not looking into his eyes out of nervousness 
“you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen in my life” he said turning your head to give you a passionate kiss
it was at the moment where all your troubles went away it wasn’t about your body not being good enough for younghoon
it was about the way he saw you and how you were everything he could possibly ask for
moving your hands away from your breast your arms made it’s way to his neck as you spread opened your legs
he gently aligned himself in your entrance slowly pushing his cock deep inside your pussy as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
「 Lee Hyunjae 」
you and hyunjae were on vlive when it all happend
your relationship had been public for six months even though you were technically together for over a year
for the most part deobi’s were happy for you and hyunjae but you couldn’t deny the negative comments you would see from time to time about not being pretty enough or good enough for him
at first you chose to ignore them but as time went on it started to drag you down mentally and emotionally and hyunjae started to take notice
during the vlive when deobi’s started to ask questions about your relationship you quickly saw the comment that read ‘hyunjae break up with [name] i’m so much better looking’
after of a couple of minutes you swiftly pulled hyunjae out of camera shot and quietly told him that you wanted to end the vlive
at first he looked at you confused until you told him what you had read
appearing back on the camera by himself he told deobi’s “deobi i want you to know that i’m extremely happy with [name] it always amazes me on how beautiful she is. of course deobi’s your beautiful as well but let’s all say how gorgeous [name] looks today.
soon enough comments were rolling in about how amazing you two looked together and how everyone was rooting for you two, giving you well wishes
you scooted your chair back in the camera view and bowed your head deeply in graditude telling deobi’s thank you as hyunjae laced his fingers into yours holding on tightly
「 Lee Juyeon 」
it was one of those weeks, everything was one big blur and you didn’t have time to do your personal self care like you usually did
it all happend during one night when you were getting ready for bed with juyeon when he decided that he wanted to have a little fun before sleeping
his hands stared to caress the side of your thighs making his way up to your hips as you were finishing your skincare routine in the bathroom
“juyeon… i don’t think it’s a great time to do that right now.” you whimpered as he was trailing hot kisses along your shoulder blade making his way to your neck from behind you
“hmm? why not? baby you look so gorgeous tonight you know i can’t resist you” he whispered against your ear “especially when your wear this..”
looking at yourself in the mirror you silently cursed at yourself when you decided to put on your lacy black night gown for the night
“it’s not that it’s just… this week has been so hectic i didn’t get a chance to shave.. you know..” you mumbled covering your face with your hands out of embarrassment
he gently turned you around so that you could face him
“baby you know i don’t care about that, you’re beautiful either way” he smirked as he picked you up placing you on the bathroom counter
he gently pulled down your panties kissing your inner thighs in the process making his way up to your core
it all happend so fast your brain couldn’t even register what happend in that swift moment until you felt juyeon’s tongue on your clit licking it lightly, obviously teasing you.
you moaned trying to reach for anything to grab until your hands found it’s way to juyeon’s hair pulling tightly as you started to feel your first orgasm of the night built up
「 Kevin Moon 」
you couldn’t believe it but it was right there in front of your eyes. as you were changing you couldn’t help but see the noticeable stretch marks that made an appearance in your inner thighs
you were all for body positivity but you couldn’t deny the fact that you felt a little insecure about the new additions to your body
as first you chose to ignore them pretending that they weren’t even there, when you started to wear more jeans and pants kevin started to take notice and become suspicious but he wasn’t sure what it was
one night when you and kevin were about to have sex is when he found out about your little secret
“kevin.. do you think that maybe we can turn off the lights tonight?” you asked
he looked at you confused it was an odd request considering you two would always have the light on when you had sex
“why babe? is something wrong?” he responded
“no nothing! or maybe it’s something! i don’t know.. just look” you rambled as you removed your blanket to show him your thighs
as kevin leaned closer to take a better look he smiled as he looked up at you
“is that it? their just stretch marks babe it’s no big deal, in fact i think it’s super cute it makes you look like a tiger” he said proudly tracing his fingers along them gently kissing the lines
you smiled looking down at kevin realizing you made a big deal out of nothing. regardless of any flaw you thought you had you always knew kevin would always have a way to make you feel irresistible 
「 Choi Chanhee 」
it all started from a doctor’s visit you were just having a regular checkup when the doctor decided that he wanted to measure your height and weight
when he told you had gain a couple of pounds you were a bit confused, you didn’t look any different, to you your body was as healthy as it could be
nevertheless you decided to go on a diet and chanhee quickly took notice when you started to skip a lot of meals
“love, why haven’t you been eating?” he wondered after another afternoon when you decided to skip lunch a third time this week
“oh well… i went to the doctor and they told me that i needed to lose some weight” you mumbled
chanhee gave you a confused look before responding “that’s ridiculous! there’s nothing wrong with your body! and even if you did gain weight your cheeks would just be more cuter to squish” he nearly shouted
calming himself down he continued “love, you don’t need to lose anything i love you just the way you are. promise me you won’t skip anymore meals?” he pleaded grabbing your hand
you smiled and nodded giving him a cheek kiss “i promise” you replied
「 Ji Changmin/Q 」
you loved everything about changmin to his smile, the way he made you feel, his charisma, even his high pitched dolphin screams you would hear on occasion. he was perfect in every way
you on the other hand sometimes felt a slight sense of insecurity being with changmin, your skin wasn’t always the clearest, your body wasn’t always the skinnest, hell sometimes you thought you were too short or too tall for him
you always thought idols dated models or actresses you were just a regular girl. why would changmin like you in the first place?
changmin took notice immediately when your personality start to shift after going public with your relationship
he decided to finally talk to you about it one night before going to bed
“sweetheart what’s wrong? ever since we’ve became public with our relationship i noticed you haven’t been the same. is everything okay?” he asked as he was playing with your fingers
sighing you hesistated before finally coming clean “it’s nothing it’s just… why are you with me q? there’s so much more prettier girls that you can easily have. i’m not good enough for you” you whispered tearing up finally breaking down after it being bottled up for so long
changmin let out a gasp covering his mouth before he answered you “[name]… i never want to hear you speaking like this about yourself ever again. i love you regardless of how you look, to me your perfect” he reassured grabbing your arm as he pulled you close to his chest giving you a head kiss
you nodded as changmin lifted your jaw and wiped your tears away from your face and leaned close giving you a soft kiss
「 Juhaknyeon 」
when it came to your body juhaknyeon had no problem praising it making you feel special 24/7 
you had manage to keep it a secret until he finally saw it the one insecurity that you hated the most about yourself
when you were in high school you had gotten a permanent scar on your stomach from a car accident 
over the years it eventually faded but it was still noticeable if you stared at your stomach long enough
you and juhakyeon were both getting undressed getting ready to shower together when he finally saw your scar
“hey baby what is that?” he pointed to your stomach noticing the small yet faded white scar on your abdomen 
you quickly turned around covering your scar feeling embarrassed
“it’s nothing! i don’t know what your talking about” you stammered 
“c’mon baby let me see” he asked as you hesitantly turned around removing your hands
“aww babe it’s just a scar, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about i have some as well” he told you as he showed you his faded scars from past dance practices 
he continued “it just makes you that much more unique and beautiful”
「 Kim Sunwoo 」
one thing you always loved about sunwoo was that he was not afraid to show others how he felt especially when it came to you
he had no problem giving you kisses and holding your hand in public even though sometimes you had to remind him to behave
you were both visiting your parents when your shyness got the better of you
your parents loved sunwoo to the point where they would call you and ask about him first seeing if he was okay or if he needed anything to sunwoo they were his second parents
it was a nice sunny day when your parents decided to have a BBQ lunch for the 4 of you and sunwoo couldn’t keep his hands off you as he was behind you grabbing your waist pulling you close answering your parents questions
“how are you treating my daughter these days sunwoo?” your dad asked
“like a princess sir, she deserves nothing but the best” he answered truthfully giving you a small kiss on the cheek
“that’s wonderful! that’s what we love to hear” your mother smiled brightly enjoying the small interaction between the two of you
when your parents went inside the house to get the plates and utensils you decide now was the chance to talk to sunwoo
“sunwoo i love you but we’re at my parents house I’m a little shy when your touching me in front of them like that…” you mumbled
you knew your parents didn’t mind the loving interaction between you and sunwoo but you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed and shy about the whole ordeal
“oh… i’m sorry baby i didn’t know i just wanted to show them how deeply in love I am with their daughter” he answered putting his hands in his pockets
you smiled up at him and leaned in to give him a passionate yet inviting kiss sunwoo instantly slid his hands behind your neck deepening the kiss
before the kiss got too heated you pulled apart and replied “they’ll be more of that later if you tone it done a little okay?”
he gave you a smile and winked “you can count on it”
「 Eric Sohn 」
being best friends with eric before you got into a relationship was one of the best decisions you could ever make
he already knew everything about you, what you liked, what you hated, what your favorite color was, what you loved to eat, etc.
you loved that there was no awkwardness between you two, or so you thought.
when you finally decided to have sex for the first time after a month of dating you were extremely nervous. you knew eric for most of your life. 
sure, he’d seen you in a bathing suit plenty of times but you were still partially clothed, it was at this moment when it hit you that he was about to see everything 
as eric was about to pull down your shorts you hesitantly stopped him 
“eric wait, what if... what if you don’t find me attractive?” you shakily said
he stopped and hovered over you before he answered “[name] i’ve loved you ever since we were kids, you are the most important person in my life. i’m always going to find you beautiful, you mean the world to me” he vowed 
in that moment you felt your cheeks become wet from the hushed tears that fell 
eric wiped your tears away with his thumb before leaning down giving you a kiss full of love 
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✧・��: *✧・゚:* © sunwoo-hoo 2 0 2 1  ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
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blu-joons · 3 years ago
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When He Meets His Long Distance Partner For The First Time ~ The Boyz Reaction
Sangyeon:
Your hand tapped nervously against the top of your leg as you watched the corners of Sangyeon’s mouth turn up into a smile in response to your good news.
Your own smile grew too as he leant in closer to the screen with his hands pressed to the top of his head. “You’re really going to come to Seoul? This isn’t a wind up, right?”
Your head instantly shook, “I promise it’s not a wind up, I’ve got some holiday to use up.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he chuckled, throwing his head back in disbelief, “when are you coming? How long for? There’s so many places I want to be able to take you too.”
“We’ve still got a couple of weeks to organise everything, it’s alright.”
With a shaky breath, Sangyeon’s head nodded back at you, “of course, although I don’t really care what we do, just finally being able to spend time with you will be nice enough.”
“I agree,” you concurred, “it doesn’t matter what we’re doing, just being in Seoul is enough.”
Your eyes flickered back up to the screen as Sangyeon continued to stare, “I can’t believe I finally get to see you, properly, in real life and right beside me.”
“I’ll be there in no time, not too long to wait now.”
Jacob:
Your eyes instantly lit up as you looked around the lounge, finding Jacob sat down at the end of a row of benches, scrolling aimlessly through his phone as he waited.
Your speed picked up and in no time at all your figure was stood before him. “Hi,” he nervously whispered as he looked up and saw you stood in front of him.
Arms instantly wrapped around your waist as you dropped your suitcase, “hi, how are you?”
“So good,” he chuckled as he squeezed you tightly against his chest, “I can’t believe you’ve finally managed to get over here, and you’re definitely a real person as well.”
“I’ve always been real,” you laughed, “or did you think I was a super smart catfish.”
His head shook back at you as he pulled away so that he could meet your eyes, “I never imagined how it would really feel to be able to meet you in person, that’s all.”
“Does it feel good to finally meet me in person though?” You asked back across to him.
His head nodded straight away, “it feels amazing, I feel like I might need you to pinch me a few times to let this sink in and not let me wake up.”
“You’re not dreaming, I really am here before you.”
Younghoon:
As you lifted the plane ticket up so that it crossed over the screen, you heard a loud gasp from the screen as Younghoon leaned forwards to the camera.
His hand beckoned for you to move the ticket back where he could see it, “please tell me I’m not dreaming when that destination says to Seoul.”
Your head shook gently, “one ticket to Seoul in two weeks, that’s exactly what it says.”
“That makes this all feel so real,” he whispered in a slight haze of disbelief, “you’re really going to be here in two weeks, and not just a face on my screen anymore.”
“Hopefully we can be a bit more normal too and see the same time of day.”
A soft chuckle escaped from Younghoon, “at last I don’t have to wait until the end of my day to speak to you, but instead I can spend the entirety of my day with you.”
“Sounds pretty cool, right?” You smiled, relieved as Younghoon’s smile grew too.
His head moved back away from the camera once again, “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to wait, I just want you to fly over right now and never leave Seoul.”
“We’ve lasted months already, a couple more weeks will be nothing.”
Hyunjae:
Your eyes looked around in bemusement as you stepped foot in Jaehyun’s room for the very first time, taking in all the sights that you’d seen so many times before.
It was different on a screen though, which Jaehyun quickly realised. “I bet it feels pretty strange to be in the room you’ve seen as my background for such a long time.”
Your head nodded in agreement, “I never really pictured this room as a real place, that’s all.”
“A bit like how we never pictured each other as real,” he sympathised, “you’ll get used to this place being real soon enough, it’s home at least for now anyway.”
“I never pictured myself getting here one day on our calls.”
His smile widened as he took a seat on the edge of his bed, inviting you to join him, “why don’t I show you around a bit, that way you might feel a bit more comfortable.”
“What’s there to show me that I haven’t already seen before?” You asked with intrigue.”
His hand extended to point across to a new addition to his room, “I had to create a little spot for you, so that it felt like you’re home too.”
“That’s adorably sweet of you, but your home is also mine.”
Juyeon:
Your body jumped slightly at the feeling of a pair of arms wrapping around you, preventing you from placing anything else into your suitcase to pack your belongings up.
As you turned your head slightly, your eyes met Juyeon’s. “I don’t want you to go tomorrow, it feels like you’ve only just arrived still, doesn’t it?”
You smiled weakly with a sigh, “I wish I could stay, but I’ve got too much going on at home.”
“This could be your home,” he frowned, resting his chin against your shoulder, “I know I’ve joked about it all week, but would moving to Seoul be so bad, I’d be here with you.”
“Life isn’t that easy Ju, it’s not something I can do straight away.”
His head nodded softly, “I’ll hold onto the hope that one day things might be able to change for the two of us, that’s all that I need for now anyway.”
“Neither of us know what the future will hold for either of us,” you assured him.
“As long as you’re there, I don’t mind,” he whispered into your ear, “whether you’re here or at home, none of that matters to me, as long as I have you.”
“You’ll have me, somewhere around the world I’ll be there.”
Kevin:
Your head shook as you walked into arrivals to notice a large banner held up in the crowd with your name written on it, and a figure jumping up and down holding onto it.
As soon as Kevin spotted you, the banner fell as his arms reached out for you, “I was worried you wouldn’t see me,” he laughed as he followed your gaze.
Your eyes rolled back at him, “was a banner that big really necessary for me to spot you?”
“I wanted to make your arrival special,” he proudly smiled, “and I knew it would make you happy too, I know you’re impressed by the banner really, I worked on it all night long.”
“It’s perfect, but only because you’re the one who made it.”
His arm snaked around your waist tightly, “if you thought the banner was good, you just wait and see the rest of the things I have planned for you this week.”
“Is it too late to consider getting a flight back home?” You teased in response to him.
“No!” He yelled, tightening his grip around you, “I’ve waited too long for this moment, there’s no way I’m letting go of you all week, you’re mine.”
“I guess we’ll just have to leave the banner here then, right?”
New:
The noise that hit you as you walked into the studio left you stunned, your eyes met Chanhee’s as he looked around to face you, noticing how slow your pace was as you walked.
Your head shook, but he had already pushed the door open as several pairs of eyes flickered around. “Members, meet Y/N,” Chanhee smiled, excited to finally introduce you.
Your eyes darted around as a tall figure approached, “we’ve waited so long to finally meet you.”
“At least now he’ll stop talking about you too,” another voice quickly interjected, drawing your attention across the room to where you recognised Kevin’s face.
“I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me, I’m hardly that interesting.”
Kevin’s head shook back at you, ignoring the glare that Chanhee shot him. “I’ve recorded him a few times, I could play them for you if you wanted me too.”
“Maybe later, there’s too many of you to meet properly first,” you joked with them all.
Chanhee quickly appeared by your side and agreed with you, “I’m not letting you guys embarrass me when Y/N has only just arrived in the country.”
“Chan, you’re normally capable of just embarrassing yourself.”
Q:
A nervous giggle came from you as you looked across at Changmin who sat beside you in the car, quickly looking away when you realised that he had heard you.
His hand reached across the car to grab onto your hand, “why are you still so shy?” He whispered, squeezing your hand to encourage you to look back at him.
Your head shook anxiously, “I guess it still doesn’t quite feel real that we’re physically together.”
“I guess it does feel a little odd still,” he agreed, offering you a smile, “we’re so used to just talking online, and suddenly we’re able to do so much more and spend more time together.”
“I never imagined that seeing you in real life would make me even happier.”
His hand squeezed against yours once again, “I’m just glad that you’re happy here in Seoul, and that you’re happy being here with me as well.”
“Seoul is amazing, and so are you,” you assured him, “better than I ever could have imagined.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he acknowledged, leaning in closer to you, “and just so you know, you’re pretty cool yourself, I feel very lucky to be here with you.”
“Stop being cute before you really do turn my cheeks red.”
Juhaknyeon:
As your eyes flickered up from the menu, you quickly noticed Haknyeon’s eyes darting downwards to look through the menu, keeping quiet as you stared across at him.
After a few moments he looked up, noticing your eyes still firmly on him. “I don’t mean to stare; it still just feels pretty surreal that you’re in front of me right now.”
A soft laugh came from you, “would you prefer if I went back to being a laptop screen instead?”
“No way,” he chuckled, closing his menu and placing it in front of him, “being with you in person is ten times better than speaking to a screen in front of me.”
“I’ve spotted you staring at me multiple times through the week.”
A sigh gently escaped him, “I keep staring to remind myself that this is happening, I’ve dreamt about this for so long sometimes I question whether I still am dreaming.”
“What can I do to prove to you that all of this isn’t a dream at all?” You asked.
His hand lifted, using his index finger to tap against his cheek, “a kiss would be a pretty handy reminder that all of this is real right now to be honest.”
“I definitely think I can do that, any excuse to kiss you is good with me.”
Sunwoo:
Your body froze as you saw a man before you who looked just like Sunwoo, furrowing your brows together to work out whether it was really him before you or not.
As they took a few steps towards you, their smile widened. “Are you going to stand there all day?” They laughed, closing the distance between you both.
Your head shook as it slowly began to sink in, “Sunwoo? You really are real? Can I hug you?”
“Of course,” he laughed, opening his arms out for you to walk into, “I thought for a moment I’d got the wrong girl with the way that you looked at me.”
“I just didn’t know what to expect from this moment.”
His smile widened as he engulfed you gently, “neither did I, but that’s what makes it all the more special, the fact that we can just be ourselves.”
“I don’t know what to do, I think I’m just stunned,” you admitted back to him.
His head nodded understandingly, “just let it sink in for a moment that I really am this handsome in real life and then I promise you’ll be alright.”
“You’re impossible, even if you are incredibly handsome too.”
Eric:
Every corner that you turned came with a new surprise as Youngjae introduced you to the place he called home and the many sights that were around too.
As another gasp came from you, he decided to finally speak up. “Many of these buildings that you see right now are on our itinerary for this week.”
Your eyes moved across to look at him, “but they’re all so big and fancy, are you sure?”
“Of course,” he laughed, “I told you that I was going to show you the best that Seoul had to offer, plus they’re not as fancy as they look, most of them are pretty boring.”
“I’ve never seen anything like this before, it’s a far cry from what I call home.”
His head nodded back at you, “you get to explore a different part of the world with me, and I promise that by the end of this week you’ll love Seoul as well as you love me.”
“I’ve already fallen in love with Seoul, almost as quickly as I did you,” you complimented.
The corners of Youngjae’s mouth widened quickly, “you’ll have the time of your life being here, just you wait and see, you won’t ever want to go home.”
“Don’t say that I already wish I could be here forever with you.”
---
Masterlist
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fairyoftbz · 4 years ago
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lavande | l. hyunjae
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🥡 pairing: crush!hyunjae x fem!reader 🥡 wc: 3.2k 🥡 genre: fluff, university au, slice of life 🥡 tw: none? i think? 🥡 synopsis: as you are talking to Chanhee, your crush appears in the lecture room, leaving you with a hammering heart. 🥡 a/n: it's already Monday again, so posting time!! i wrote this because i kinda miss uni without covid, I had such a good time back in 2019 😩 feedback is always appreciated!! <33 🥡 requested: yes, thank you! i hope it's good enough!!
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“Have you done the readings we were supposed to?” Chanhee whispered in your ear as you turned on your computer, the screen remaining black made you frown as you quickly glanced at your friend, hand deep in your backpack to find your charger.
“Wait, let me guess. With the abandoned puppy eyes you're giving me, you want me to summarise what this was about, am I right?"
“Please Y/N, I didn't have time this week, it has been so hectic! I promise I'll buy you a coffee," you waved your hand in front of your face to let him know that he didn't need to, and you leaned your arm under the table to look for a plug while summarising what you had understood to your friend.
He listened intently until his eyes looked over your head, a smirk forming on his mouth. You frowned for a split second but continued your explanation, noticing that the smile didn't want to leave Chanhee's face. You deeply sighed, trying to make your friend pay attention, but it was to no avail. He was busy looking at something else.
“Are you listening to me, or am I talking to my computer?” you asked, and your friend returned your attention to you, his puppy look made you shake your head and roll your eyes. He looked behind you one last time, and you turned around in frustration, your breath getting stuck in your throat as you discovered what was amusing Chanhee so much.
You did a double-take when you noticed the man standing at the entrance, your pulse quickening as your hands became sweaty and hot. Every student around you, including Chanhee holding your arm to hear the rest of your explanation, disappeared from your field of view. You only had eyes for the one who stole your heart without realising it.
Hyunjae pushed the lecture door open and held it out for the group following him, politely nodding at the blushing girl that thanked him. He pursed his lips and scanned the auditorium, trying to find a familiar face to sit next to. The air was stuffy and odorous, the young man cursing the caretakers for not ventilate it more often as he was almost sweating because of his outfit. His white turtleneck and pants, as well as the lavender sweater, were thick enough for him to be warm to walk from his apartment since it was still quite chilly in the morning, but he felt like he was wearing winter clothes in the middle of a heatwave when he entered this room.
“Wow,” you murmured under your breath and looked down on your phone, trying to hide your attraction for him from your friends around you, your right hand holding your head up, hiding your eyes at the same time. You heard Chanhee mockingly exhale through his nose as he noticed you munching on your bottom lip, a habit of yours he had caught a glimpse of you doing when you were stressed or embarrassed. In this current case, you were both.
Tugging on the collar of his white turtleneck, Hyunjae sighed in annoyance as he walked down the first few steps. Cursing himself for arriving so late, he sighed as the only remaining seats were in the first few rows, where he had almost 99% of the chance of getting chosen by the professor to answer a question. He dropped his bag from his shoulder onto the table as he looked at the rows again, his eyes immediately discerning the funny stickers at the back of your computer.
“It won’t hurt anyone if I just check where he is,” you thought, but it was probably the worst idea you’ve ever had because your eyes met his dark, chocolate ones, his eyebrows lifting in relief when he recognised other familiar faces in your row.
“Y/N, you’re drooling, be careful,” your friend Chanhee whispered in your ear, teasing as you looked away from Hyunjae and wiped your mouth as quickly as possible, warmth flooding your veins as you keep your finger pressed on the power button of your computer. Your best friend laughed at your antics, but you turned a blind eye to him and mentally cursed yourself for not being as wary as you thought you were.
“Idiot, how could you be discreet if you made direct eye contact with him?” You shook your head at this thought and took a deep breath, inwardly praying that he would sit far from you as you mindlessly scrolled down through your notes.
“Hyunjae, over here!” Sunwoo stood up and raised his deep voice over all the hubbub of the auditorium, pointing at the empty spot between you and Chanhee. It was reserved for Eric who was running late, but you noticed the vacant seat next to Sunwoo and whined. You swore that the rest of the row was packed when you arrived, but it looked like a spot magically freed itself when Hyunjae appeared. It was as if your friends had planned this behind your back.
“Can I sit here?” A gentle, deep voice said, and you looked up. Much to your dismay, it was Hyunjae. “Uh, s-sure,” you stumbled on your sentence as if it were your first time speaking, closing your eyes and inner face palmed yourself at the mess you had just become in a matter of seconds.
You gathered your belongings and held them against your chest as you stood up and sat next to Chanhee, giving your crush your now empty spot. Placing your bag on the floor, you turned your head to the right and stared at your friends, only to find them laughing and bickering together. Changmin was imitating your bashful answer, and Sunwoo’s smug grin painted on his face as he cheekily winked at you, everything confirming your doubts that this situation was one of their playful plans. You sighed in exasperation and typed the title of your notes on a new document as if the entire situation weren’t bothering you.
“Thanks,” Hyunjae said as he sat down, and your heart skipped a beat when you heard his gorgeous voice that caused the hairs on your arms to stand up. His smile made him ten times more attractive, and your heart seemed to struggle to cope with his beauty.
You tried your best to ignore your crush’s presence on your left as you typed down your notes at high speed, but it was harder than you thought. He was close, too close for you to function properly and pay attention to the lecture, his presence and cologne distracting you. There were times where you could feel his gaze on you when you were typing or taking a sip of water, your hands immediately tensing and jolting under the pressure of his aura.
As the lecture finally finished, you quickly packed up your stuff and zipped your backpack before putting it on your shoulders. You didn’t even bother saying goodbye to your friends as you stood in your seat and jumped on the table of the higher row behind you to escape your group. Kevin tried to hail you by calling your name, but you were quick to pace towards the exit and vanish into the mass of the crowd.
You almost reached the library, your safe area where you always sought comfort and peace when a hand gently caught your wrist, your eyes immediately drawn to the familiar lavender knitted sleeve. You breathed heavily at the warmth of the slender hand, and you turned around to face none other than your crush.
“Gosh, you were walking so fast,” he chuckled as he finally got you, his hold still wrapped around your wrist blasting electricity through your veins. The contact felt pleasant, yet it felt so wrong to be this close to him. “I wanted to ask you something before the lecture ended, but you disappeared,” Hyunjae smiled as his cheeks became the prettiest shade of pink you had ever seen. You shyly smiled, muttering a soft apology, and you frowned, not letting him time to say another word.
He opened his mouth to say something when you drew him behind one of the colossal pillars holding up the second floor as you saw Chanhee’s bleached hair peeking out from an opened auditorium door, spying on you two. Hyunjae looked confused but let you drag him anyway.
“Sorry, what were you saying?” You tried to look unbothered, but your fidgeting hands betrayed you, making your crush smile. “Hum yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me today?” he asked, looking straight into your eyes, a big, bashful smile decorating his face. "I know a good café not too far from college, so I was wondering if-” “S-sure, why not?” you blurted out, and you heard muffled laughs coming from behind Hyunjae.
You both peeked out and noticed your friends piled up on top of each other, trying to listen to the conversation you were having with your crush. You sighed and shook your head in annoyance, tired of the lack of privacy your love life was experiencing every day because of them, Eric laughing even louder for getting caught eavesdropping like that.
A hand landed on your shoulder, and you felt a breath near your ear, making your heart skip a few beats in a row.
“Let’s go before they follow us, okay?” you glanced at Hyunjae, and he looked at you with something in his eyes that made your chest tighten, making the process of breathing troublesome. He grinned at your state and innocently grabbed your clammy hand as you two sped off towards the exit and ran past your friends into the mob.
As you slowed down in the streets, trying to look as civil as possible, you readjusted your backpack strap and caught your breath while laughing, Hyunjae smiling as brightly as you did. He found your laugh so pretty and light-hearted, he felt internally lucky to be part of the reason for it. You went down to the end of the street, still walking close to him, and he paused in front of a takeaway place. Holding the door for you, you shyly thanked him and entered the restaurant, the smell of Chinese food making your stomach grumble in hunger.
“Choose whatever you want, it’s on me,” you turned around and immediately backed up a bit, startled by the proximity of you two. Hyunjae only smiled, and you turned your attention back to the food. “Really?” you asked, and he snickered at your shocked state, nodding with a soft smile on his face. "Gosh, I am so hungry,” you muttered under your breath as your eyes roamed on the menu above your heads, heavily breathing as you were still trying to catch your breath back from the sprint you had just run to escape from your foolish friends.
Relief rushed through your veins when he took the reins and ordered for the two of you, your mouth uttering thank-yous like a mantra, only to have your crush waving it off.
“Y/N, it’s okay, don’t worry about it!” he said, and you stopped to look at him, Hyunjae beaming at you while grabbing the paper bag with your steamy food at the bottom. You quickly seized some napkins and disposable utensils and walked back to Hyunjae, who was already outside, waiting for you. “So, where are we going now?” he said, and you shrugged, looking around you, not knowing anything only outside from the library. “I know a good place, it’s not far from here,” you vaguely pointed to your right, and Hyunjae immediately started walking. “Let’s go before the food gets cold!” he exclaimed and let you take the lead.
It was a small park hidden a few streets away from your university, meeting other students since there was another park inside the campus. Bowing down to pat the grass a few meters away from the artificial pond, you sat down as it was dry, but Hyunjae handed you the food and took out his folded waterproof jacket from his bag. Placing it on the ground, he gestured you to come and sit with him.
“Here, come sit with me, you’ll be more comfortable,” he said, and you obeyed, your knees touching as you set the paper bag down next to you and handed him his food and drink. Your proximity didn’t leave you indifferent, but you tried your best to hide it as much as possible.
Hyunjae noticed your little change of behaviour and found you adorable when you looked away at each of his compliments. Your arms were now touching since his jacket underneath you wasn’t a picnic tablecloth, and you were slowly getting used to his body warmth surrounding you.
As the lunch break went by, you talked about your respective majors, and you joked about the shared lecture of this morning, getting closer and closer to each other. He was kind-hearted and became more comfortable when you were alone, gently nudging you in the elbow when you were about to lift your chopsticks to your mouth, the noodles falling back into your bowl. Wiping your mouth with a napkin, you were quick to nudge him back and laugh, still careful not to stain any of his clothes.
“You… look really nice today. I like those colours on you,” you complimented him, and he smiled at your hesitant voice, taking a sip of soda before answering. “Thank you Y/N, I appreciate it,” you nodded and started chewing on your bottom lip, eyes divagating towards the pond surrounded by plants and flowers. “You look really pretty as well,” he whispered in your ear, and you froze at his words, your heart skipping a beat as he had seized the opportunity of you letting your guard down as you were paying attention to the pond. You offered him a soft smile and took a sip of your drink as well to try and calm your racing heart.
He kept playing with it since he was having fun by making you embarrassed and shy with his compliments and proximity. Hyunjae knew that it was working despite your never-ending tries of hiding it, and he felt proud to have this effect on you. Although it was hard for him to see you chew on your lip like that, he had to force himself not to cup your face and tell you to stop, because he was really tempted to do so. However, when you started scratching your lip with your fingers, that’s when he grabbed your pitiless hand and held it in his.
“Hey, don’t do that,” he said and grabbed a napkin to dab the blood coming out of the little cuts on your bottom lip you had caused out of nervosity.
You guiltily avoided his eyes and searched for your lip balm in your bag before quickly applying some. The temptation of starting again was real when your hand was still cradled in his, your crush not giving a single sign of him being ready to let go of it. Alternatively, he rubbed his thumb over your knuckles as you both observed the pond and the people chilling around you.
Much to your dismay, your little romantic moment was interrupted by the church clock striking thirteen times, announcing 1 PM. You both didn’t pay attention at first, but it was when you couldn’t see a single student around you that you realised something.
“Oh god, Statistics! We have statistics in less than fifteen minutes,” you hurriedly said as you jumped on your feet, placing all your trash in the paper bag. “Oh shit!” Hyunjae imitated you and grabbed the bag from you, jogging to the trash can on the other side of the pond while you grabbed your belongings and quickly folded his jacket. He thanked you, and you left in a rush, under the confused eyes of your neighbours.
Even if it wasn’t too far from your college, you still jumped in the bus that was about to drive off from the stop right outside the park, the doors closing right behind Hyunjae. You sighed in relief as you both made it, and you tightly grabbed the metallic bar as the bus sped uphill.
“I’m glad this bus was here, I don’t think I could’ve walked back up there after our lunch,” you smiled at his words, his hand holding the bar above your heads, his lavender sweater going high enough for you to see his black Gucci belt keeping his turtleneck tucked in his pants. “I don’t know who had this marvellous idea of building the university on top of a hill,” you sarcastically mumbled and pressed the button next to your head as the screen announced the stop.
Hyunjae was the first to jump off the vehicle, grabbing your hand as you were quick to imitate him, the mass of students behind you forcing you out. Your crush followed you like a lost puppy through the different staircases and corridors, your great sense of orientation leading you quickly to the auditorium you were almost late to. You were out of breath when you finally arrived there, right before the clock struck 1:15 PM.
Surprisingly, the rows were practically empty, but you instantly spotted your friends in the middle, some of them still eating while the others were laughing or reading together. Hyunjae grabbed your hand for the nth time today, slowly getting used to this new feeling, and you dragged him towards them, but he resisted.
You looked at him, his eyes scanned the auditorium just like he did this morning and looked back at you with a smile before gesturing over a good spot, a bit higher and further away from your friends. Changmin, with his eagle eye, was quick to notice Hyunjae's lavender sweater and warned your friends, all turning around to observe you and your crush sitting together. Chanhee gasped as he quickly saw you holding hands, gossiping about it to his hyungs. Juyeon just shrugged, unbothered by the situation as he cracked his fingers and neck, getting ready to type.
You noticed your friends smirking at you and hid your head behind your computer screen, Eric leaning back in the vacant seats just enough for him to appear in the corner of your eye, his mouth transforming into a pout to mimic a kiss. You rolled your eyes and groaned, offering him a disapproving look, your antics sending him in a fit of giggles.
Hyunjae smiled at you before looking at your friends, who cooed and loudly gagged when he grabbed your hand and lifted it for them to see. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, embarrassment taking over your body as your friends cheered, drawing attention towards you and your crush, the latter replacing your linked hands on his lap, under the table.
“Why would you do that?” you dared to ask, and you shouldn’t have, your voice breaking mid-sentence made your crush giggle. “Let them be, they’re just happy that their best friend is getting out of their comfort zone. Plus, you look cute when you are flustered,” he said, and the professor started talking, preventing you from answering him.
He just sat there with a satisfied smile on your face, while you were trying not to pass out here and there with your heart beating this fast.
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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years ago
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After that Jake-Mac-Rosa fic, you dropped this queen: 👑 Next time, a Jake-Mac-Holt piece?
Oh dang, THAT's where I left it. Thank you for that. 🤪
Grandpa Holt is always a pleasure to write, but let's try for some Dad Holt too...
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"Is everything alright, Peralta?"
Jake has been sitting off to the side of the group for a while now, so Holt finds it necessary to inquire. He's not used to the eager detective being so closed off and quiet unless something is wrong, and nothing he can think of right now strikes him as 'wrong': they have been celebrating the end of a rather arduous case for Diaz and Boyle, and Peralta had been as helpful as he could be as a tertiary, which was not his preferred position at all. The first round at Shaw's had been paid by himself as Captain, obviously, and the next by Diaz, so Boyle has promised to shoulder the third, were it to happen. Ergo Peralta could not be thinking about his usual money problems, which have lessened anyway ever since Santiago took over his budgeting.
That means something else entirely must be 'wrong' in order for Jake to keep out of the conversation, only reply when he is mentioned by name, and drift off to a corner of the bar while the other congregate around the various game options of the room.
"I'm good, Captain, thanks." Jake answers with a smile and an obvious lie, so Holt doesn't even bother replying, just raises one of his eyebrows a quarter of an inch, which he knows usually gets him results with Peralta. The ensuing sigh shows that it is still working.
"It's just..." Jake shrugs and rubs the back of his neck, another tell of his discomfort. "This is my first night out alone since the baby."
"Indeed." Holt replies. "I remember your phone call to Amy to inform her you would be back late today."
"Yeah." His hand is still on his neck, the other one clutched around his half empty beer bottle. "She told me to have fun. But..uh... I still kinda feel like I shouldn't be here."
"Do you think having a child robs you of autonomity? I know I am not speaking from experience, here, but it does seem to me like you are allowed to enjoy time away from your family, especially if your spouse insists you do."
"Getting drunk at a bar while my kid might be crying at home doesn't feel like the responsible thing to do, is all."
"Ah, I see." Holt nods, and he does see - he actually sees a lot more than what Jake might be trying to imply in his statement. He remembers how he used to self-medicate with alcohol in the past, after ending his relationship with that defense attorney, or even before, while feeling heartbroken over Santiago. He also remembers anecdotes about his father's drinking, not from Peralta himself, obviously, but from the rest of the squad, whenever Jake would cancel on a promised night out after Roger Peralta's visits. As much as Holt hates idioms, one of his most despised is probably 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree', and Jake seems to fear it as well.
"Here is my solution, then, if you are willing to listen." Jake looks up at Holt as he's standing in front of him, and his hand drops from his neck. "You make the beer you are currently drinking your last for the night, and spend some quality time with your colleagues instead, enjoying a few parlour games, and then you head home at an agreeable time and still see your child before he falls asleep."
Jake grins and takes a sip of his beer.
"Sounds like a plan, Cap." He nods, and Holt doesn't ignore the fact that Jake has been using this shortened nickname for him a lot lately, and how eerily similar it sounds to 'Dad' in his voice.
(An hour later, he receives a picture on his cellphone from Peralta: The man himself, asleep on his couch, with his infant son equally asleep on his chest. Santiago must have commandeered his phone, and Holt is glad for it.)
-*-
"Grampa!"
The sound of that little voice echoes through the hallway as loudly as the ensuing footsteps, and Holt feels something warm and solid wrap around his legs.
"Hello, McClane." He smiles down at the little boy currently clutching his knees, and he smiles back before raising his arms in an obvious demand to be lifted up. Holt obeys it immediately.
He notices Mac looks surprisingly tired for an otherwise very energetic two year old, and Amy, who's now following him to Holt's side, looks equally exhausted.
"Good afternoon, Captain. I'm so sorry, I should've messaged you that I have to bring Mac in for an hour, the babysitter cancelled and the day care couldn't keep him longer than-"
"It is quite alright, Santiago. McClane knows how to behave himself at the precinct, right?" He gives the little boy in his arms a look, and receives a strong and eager nod in reply, the curls on his head bouncing back and forth. If anyone were ever to question Peralta's parentage, that alone would classify them as an imbecile. "I can watch him for the time being, if you have paperwork you need to get in order before leaving for the day."
"God, Captain Holt, would you- that would be so- I was going to ask Rosa, because I know she's at her desk-"
Amy seems far more frazzled than usual, and Holt realises that her regular schedule must be in quite a disarray, considering she has been a single parent for about a week now. Mac must not have been making it easy for her, either, nor must the baby currently growing in her stomach, which has started to show about a month ago, at which point they finally informed the squad about it (when everyone had already figured it out just like last time).
"RoRo!" Mac yells, happily, almost leaning out of Holt's arms, but he quickly hugs him tighter.
"Your aunt Rosa is working, McClane, and we should not interrupt her. We can spend the time in my office, and you can draw if you would like."
"Roro working." He echoes like a little parrot. "Like Daddy."
"That's right." Holt has learned from the parenting homepages he's visited that you are to encourage a child trying to talk and string together a coherent topic, no matter how long it might take.
"Daddy's working away." Mac continues, and out of the corner of his eye Holt sees Amy's forehead wrinkle in worry.
"Yes, your father is in New Jersey for the week to work on a special case." It's not a dangerous case at all, rather a boring standard task that happened to involve some out-of-state suspects, but Jake had still been trying to hand off that trip to anyone who might be willing to help him out. Seeing his son with bags under his eyes and his wife with stresslines around her mouth and her hand on her belly, Holt understands why.
"He comes back." Mac says next, and it is a statement, but the look in his eyes makes it a question, and Holt is quick to answer. He's glad that he has a definite answer to that, instead of the empty promises and assurances he sometimes has to make as the head of a police department.
"Yes, your father will be back soon. In two days, in fact."
Mac holds up two grubby little fingers, and Holt nods with so much fervor it surprises himself.
"Very good, that is two. Only two days and two nights until your father is back home." The worry in Mac's eyes seems to dimish a little at that as he stares at his own fingers. "If we go to my office, we can check on the calendar exactly how long that is." He barely waits for another nod before taking the diaper bag out of Santiago's hands, who whispers a quiet, but relieved "Thank you" to him. He understands again that it means far more than to thank him for taking care of the child for an hour so.
(If he uses that hour to assure Mac several times that no matter what, his father will always find a way back to him with far more emotion in his voice than he'd usually use, well, no one needs to know. Peralta certainly seems happy about the picture he sends him of Mac with his captain's hat behind his desk.)
-*-
"Congratulations." Holt's hand on his shoulder is heavy, but not uncomfortably so, and it gives a quick squeeze before dropping.
They've done the whole customary introduction to the newborn baby, the apparently necessary picture round, and now Kevin is having an amicable chat with Amy in her hospital bed. They've waited two days for their official visit, to give the new parents a chance to get at least a few of their bearings. (Holt was there merely an hour after the birth, of course, with the rest of the squad, but that was a moment of joyful chaos and many voices.) Now the room is filled with an almost serene quiet, Amy's and Kevin's voices low and comfortable in the background as Holt watches the man he truly considers a son hold up his new granddaughter.
"Do you want to hold her again? I know you already did for the photos but-"
Holt only nods and takes the infant out of his hands with perfect ease. He's more used to a wriggling toddler now, but he still clearly remembers the days when Mac was equally quiet and frail in his arms. The little one in them now is asleep amidst all that is happening, her tiny mouth open just a fraction, and he feels her arm bump against his chest while she seems to be having a dream.
"She is as perfect as her older brother, Jake."
"Yeah." Jake smiles, and there's nothing of that boisterous, loud, cocky detective grin left in it that he used to know. It is soft and kind and full of love, and it might be one of Holt's favourite expressions. "Amy did a superb job again."
"As did you."
"I'm sure I don't gotta explain this to you, Cap, but I didn't really do much." Jake jokes, and Holt can tell he's trying to divert the attention to a simpler topic, but sometimes things must be said.
"You do a lot, Jacob." He continues, then. "Far more than a lot of fathers do. Far more than many would expect of you. And you do it all perfectly right, with heart and determination."
Jake nods, swallowing down a lump in his throat, it seems, and it might be a step too far for his already emotional state, but Holt feels like it needs to accompany his accolades.
"I am very proud of you, son."
Jake is very obviously fighting back tears as he replies.
"Thanks, dad."
The little girl in Holt's arms stirs right at this moment, and Jake seems to want to interject immediately in fear that she'll start crying, but she simply stares up at Holt with impossibly big, brown eyes for the first time. And he realises, just as he did two years ago when Mac's little hand tightened around his finger for the first time, that there is a child in this world that he would literally do anything for. There are four of them now, even if two of them have not fallen under the category of a child for several decades.
"Hello, Maya." He says to the little face that seems to be inspecting him. "I'm Captain Raymond Holt. Your grandfather."
He looks up at Kevin and Amy, who've stopped their conversation while Amy is lifting her phone in their direction, and then at Jake, who's looking at Maya as well with shining eyes. Then he looks back down at Maya, stretching her arms out of her swaddle as if she's reaching for him.
"You are a very lucky little girl."
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delaber · 4 years ago
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Can’t Have Your Cake and Another Cake Too
Rafael Casal x Reader
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Note: Okay, I’ll stop breaking Rafa’s heart now... Last time, I swear! Thanks for the prompts to these lovely anons. Alhough this is not a prequel to Poetic Justice (Rafa x ER Nurse), poor Rafa’s facing some of the same issues. I very loosely based this story on J. Cole’s Kevin’s Heart (don’t know why I’m always incorporating J. Cole into my fics, but apparently he’s always lurking in the back of my mind) and Phlake’s So Faded. Let me know what you think!
Words: 4.7K
Warnings: Cocaine addiction! Does not have a happy ending (nobody ODs and nobody’s dying ...Only on the inside lol)
Tagging: No one! This might not be for everybody and I don’t want anybody to feel forced to read it 😌
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It was supposed to be a great night out. The entire gang was there, and at the instigation of Diggs, Rafa was supposed to be on the prowl to get laid so he could take his mind off of his broken heart.
From his seat in the booth, Rafa had a fairly good view of the dance floor and he had already spotted a few honeys who likewise had acknowledged him by smiling and sending him a couple of long looks. One of them had even twirled her hair between her fingers while blowing him a kiss. He had the green light, all systems were go!
However, of all the things that could've thrown him off his game, Rafa would not have placed a single bet on a phone call. But the minute he pulled out his vibrating phone and checked the caller ID, both the group of honeys on the dance floor and his friends occupying the seats all around him were completely forgotten. Nothing else mattered anymore.
He stared at the screen for a while, reading the name over and over again. What the fuck was Morris calling him for? Rafa had told him to stop. Morris knew he was too weak to say no even though he had promised his girl that he'd stop for good.
...Or, you weren't his girl. Not anymore.
But Rafa was still determined to win you back no matter if you had stopped answering his phone calls or not, so he took a tough decision and pressed the decline button beneath Morris' name. He even contemplated putting his phone on flight-mode to remove all unwelcome temptations - he knew you'd never take him back if he fell back in - yet, for some reason taking himself off the grid was easier said than done, and before he had pulled himself together to actually press the little airplane button, a text from Morris had ticked in. It only consisted of two words but Rafa understood perfectly.
'New candy.'
Fuck... Rafa considered the pros and cons of accepting for a few milliseconds before he came to his senses. No, no, no. The only way he'd ever win you back would be by showing you that he could stay sober even after your break-up. Morris could fuck off! As if awaking from a trance, Rafa hurriedly put his phone back in his pocket and desperately tried to forget about Morris' enticing offer by telling himself that he was strong enough to shake it.
...although deep down, he was aware that it was already too late. That no matter what, he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it now. And no matter how hard he tried to re-focus on the honeys on the dance floor and tell himself how stupid it was to hit Morris up, it was no use, the damage was done; he was desperate to get high!
Deeply, horribly ashamed of himself, Rafa texted Morris the address of the club and impatiently waited a couple of minutes before he walked outside with heavy footsteps. It felt as if he was walking to the gallows, the shame eating him up from the inside. You'd be so disappointed in him!
However, in order to make himself accept what he was about to do, he reminded himself that apparently, you didn't care if he was high or not. If you did, you would've returned his phone calls, and you would've reacted to the fact that he had been sober for three weeks now - but you hadn't. And with that in mind, Rafa managed to push away most of the shame as he laid eyes on Morris' sketchy Subaru parked by the curb on the other side of the road. He walked across the street with determined footsteps, carefully looking over his shoulder to check if anybody he knew were watching him approach what was clearly a dealer's car.
"What's up, bruh!" Morris called as he rolled down his window. He was wearing sunglasses, looking like an absolute turd in the dark night.
Rafa put his arms on the car's beltline and shot Morris a bro handshake through the open window, "what the fuck are you wearing sunglasses at night for? You look like a dick."
"Nah, man, it looks cool," Morris laughed, "do you like them? Hell, you should like them - you paid for them."
"What do you mean I paid for them?"
"With the amount of money you spend in my shop, I think it's safe to assume that you paid for these sunglasses and the rims on the ride too," Morris snorted.
"Yeah, about that," Rafa looked away, the embarrassment slowly creeping up his spine again, "you gotta stop calling me."
"You said that last time as well but look at you now," Morris laughed.
"Come on man, it's important that I stop."
"You don't wanna stop though."
Rafa let out a sigh, "look, I'm trying to prove something to my girlf- ...ex-girlfriend."
"A'ight, I respect that," Morris nodded slowly but then he quickly continued, "so did you just call me here to pin your lady troubles on me? Cause I have a customer waiting up on Seventh Ave."
Rafa blew out some air, embarrassed by the decision he was about to make.
"...Or do you wanna buy?" Morris continued as he read Rafa's body language.
"...you're not gonna tell Diggs are you?"
"Do I look like a fucking snitch?" Morris looked offended, "and you know me and Diggs don't talk no more."
"Yeah, alright. This stays between us, okay? If word gets out, I'm fucked."
"A'ight bruh," Morris laughed, "Now, how much do you need?"
"Just... just give me an eightball," Rafa mumbled.
Morris let out a small laugh, "an eightball? Man, you're not about to quit," he chuckled and handed Rafa a zip-lock bag with white powder in it.
"Shut up," Rafa mumbled and pocketed the baggie, "how much?"
"Rafa, you're my man, so I'mma give you a discount because I feel bad for you and your girl. Three hundo."
"Three hundred?! Last time it was two-eighty without the discount."
"Times are changing. I haven't seen you in three weeks, man. Plus, this is a good batch," Morris poked Rafa in the chest, "my contact got it shipped in directly from Medellín. Look, it got fish scale and everything!"
"You better not fuck me over," Rafa muttered and threw Morris three hundred-dollar bills before he turned away from him with an annoyed huff.
"Pleasure doing business as always, Casal! See you next weekend!" Morris yelled after Rafa with a small laugh, apparently not a care in the world for who knew about their illegal transaction.
"Fucking idiot," Rafa muttered to himself without turning around. He had more important things to do than to scold Morris about his indiscretion.
Rafa hurried to the restroom and carefully locked the door behind him before he frantically pulled out the zip-lock bag. He examined its contents and saw the pearl-like surface that Morris had talked about - Fuck it looked good! He opened the bag carefully but froze when he caught his own reflection in the bathroom mirror; the loving look he was sending the bag of coke was sickening. It made his stomach plummet. Had he really been reduced to snorting coke alone in a dirty bathroom of a sketchy club? He remembered when it had been a group activity. Before he couldn't control it.
Shake it off! He told himself. He had every intention of stopping after tonight. This would be the last time.
You said that last time as well, a small voice rang in the back of his head, but he ignored his guilty conscience and instead poured out a small pile of the pearl-like coke on top of the hand dryer. Quickly, he pulled out a random card from his wallet and used it to form two heavy lines. Before his guilty conscience could interfere again, he also grabbed a one-dollar bill that he neatly rolled into a small tube and put between his right nostril and one of the white lines, ready for the rush. His gaze, however, lingered on the random card he had used to break the coke into lines; it was his fucking rewards card for the small organic, artisan shit coffee house that you liked. What wouldn't you say if you knew what he was doing? In his mind's eye, he could see the disappointed look you always sent him whenever he'd come home all hyped up, rambling his mouth off. You never got angry with him and his love of coke, but somehow your disappointed demeanour was way worse. He would've taken screaming and yelling over the disappointed stare and the slow shake of your head any day.
Slowly, he removed the dollar-bill from his nostril, stood up straight and met his own eyes in the mirror again - and for a moment, he could truly see how pathetic he was. What the hell was he doing? He was throwing away his last shot at getting you back - and for what? A few hours of euphoria and confidence?
But she doesn't want you back, a small voice rang inside his head, you called, and you called, and you called. You declared yourself clean to her voicemail and she still didn't reach out. Fuck her!
"Yeah, fuck her," Rafa mumbled before he put the dollar-bill back to his nostril. Quickly, he snorted both lines of coke, shooting his head back afterwards, sniffling a bit as he cleaned his nose with the back of his hand. He knew he only had a couple of minutes before the euphoria kicked in, so he quickly brushed off the dollar-bill and the rewards card and tugged them both back in his wallet. The remainder of the coke was stowed away in his shirt's breast pocket for safe keeping.
Ready for the rush, Rafa was impatiently staring at himself in the mirror. He was thinking about how to avoid Diggs and his condescending looks for the duration of his high, when he was finally overwhelmed by the familiar fuzzy feeling. It came out of nowhere and started behind his eyeballs and continued all the way down to his toenails. It felt as if someone had pulled a large, fluffy blanket down over him, and it was slowly heating up his body, making him feel safe and secure. His pulse quickened in time with his breathing, and he had to close his eyes to get himself under control. He felt fucking powerful! Morris had not lied about this coming from a good batch. "Shit, Morris," he laughed.
There was a knock on the door, and Rafa remembered that he had occupied the men's room for a good five minutes now. He took a last look at his suddenly hazed eyes, aware that no matter how hard he tried to hide it, anyone could see that he was high as a kite. He contemplated riding out his high alone in the bathroom but also knew that with the amount of energy present in his body, he couldn't stay in the small restroom all night. He had to dance! To fuck! To fight!
With a suddenly confident bounce in his step, he opened the door, and sent the guy in line what he hoped was an apologetic nod before he confidently strode towards the honeys on the dance floor.
"Hey Rafa!" he heard someone yell behind him.
Hoping it was someone who wanted to fight, Rafa quickly turned around but was slightly disappointed to see Diggs coming towards him with a huge grin on his face. Shit! Rafa realised that he had to act nonchalant around his best friend. Diggs absolutely couldn't know about the coke in his breast pocket, or he'd be all up in Rafa's face about it.
"Diiiiiggs! My man!" Rafa yelled overly excited, clearly very, very high.
Diggs shot him a look at his weird behaviour before he continued, "where've you been, man? I've been looking for you everywhere."
"R-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrrrrrrestroom," Rafa laughed, he was too happy to pretend otherwise.
"Why are you saying it like th-" the huge grin was slowly slipping from Diggs' face, "...hey, Rafa - look at me," Diggs suddenly sounded all serious as he took Rafa's face in his hands, carefully examining his features, "Rafa, look at me."
Rafa let out a low chuckle, "Diggs, you know I think you're handsome and all that, but I don't like you that way," he joked.
"You're being weird," Diggs furrowed his eyebrows, "- and your pupils are huge. Have you been doing lines in the bathroom?"
"Maybe," Rafa laughed, unable to stop himself from revealing his dirty little secret, "why? You want some? I still have a few hits left," he padded his breast pocket.
"You know I don't do that shit anymore..." Diggs let go of Rafa with a sigh and looked away from him.
"Oh yeah, I forgot you're a fucking saint now," Rafa said a bit more harshly than he had intended to. Ever since Diggs had met Emmy, he had been boring as hell.
Diggs chose not to comment on Rafa's low blow, and managed to keep his calm, "I thought you'd stopped, bruh."
"Morris made me an offer I couldn't refuse," Rafa laughed in an accent halfway between Tony Montana and Vito Corleone.
"Yeah well, I'm not the only one who thought you were done fucking around," Diggs said seriously. He was having none of Rafa's jokes, "I just saw your girl downstairs. She wants to talk to you."
It took a few seconds before Rafa understood, but when he finally grasped Diggs' words, he felt the blood drain from his face and his mouth run dry, "what? No, you're kidding me..."
"Nope," Diggs sighed, "I've been running around trying to find you for fifteen minutes..."
"Shit! What the fuck do I do?" Rafa said in a panicked voice, licking his lips frantically, "I told her I was sober! If she sees me like this, she'll never take me back."
"Yeah, well you better pray that you don't run into her."
Rafa ran his hand through his hair, "fuck I'm screwed. She's downstairs?"
"Was fifteen minutes ago."
"Alright, I'm jumping out this window. You stall her, tell her that I got sick or something."
"You can't jump out this window?" Diggs said incredulously, "we're 50 feet up, if you do that, you die! Just walk out the doo- ...oh shit, dude, we're blown. She's here. She's coming over."
"Fuck! Can I still bolt?"
"Of course not!"
"Well how do I look? Alright?"
"You look-" Diggs cut himself off, "...maybe just try and avoid her looking into your eyes, okay?"
"How the fuck am I supposed to do that?"
"The light in here's paying you a favour but apart from that you're gonna have to pull yourself together. You brought this upon yourself," Diggs said harshly before his demeanour changed completely as his eyes interlocked with yours over Rafa's shoulder, "heeeeey," he smiled broadly, "look who I found."
Rafa slowly turned around and met you. Your stunning beauty - as always - immediately knocking him to the ground. He couldn't believe that it had been four weeks since the last time he'd seen you. He'd do anything to get you back!
"Rafa," you nodded formally with a stiff face. Rafa couldn't help but make a mental note on how weird it was to see you without a smile on your lips. You were normally always so happy. He had done this, he reminded himself.
"Hey baby," he whispered, the words weirdly familiar in his throat.
You briefly raised your eyebrows while looking away from him, clearly uncomfortable by the sound of your old pet name.
"Sorry," he continued, "force of habit. ...I'm just happy to see you."
Your gaze slowly found his face, and Rafa prayed that you couldn't see his coke-eyes from where you were standing.
"Well..." you said and clicked your tongue, "I'd like to talk to you."
"I'd like to talk to you too," Rafa said quietly.
"And you're sober? Like you said on my voicemail?"
"Yes," Rafa breathed, "completely sober," he lied thickly, hyper-aware of how awkward it was with Diggs shuffling nervously beside him. He was uncomfortably rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet.
"Good," you finally let out a small smile, "do you want to sit down?"
"Yeah," Rafa nodded.
"Yeah, I'll - uh - I'll leave you to it," Diggs cleared his throat and padded Rafa between the shoulder blades as a way of wishing him good luck.
"Thanks man," Rafa muttered before he followed you down to a vacant booth in the corner of the room. Instead of sitting down opposite you, he made sure to occupy the seat next to you, hoping that it would minimise the risk of you looking into his eyes. He just had to pretend that he was sober until the high quieted down. Fourty-five more minutes - Less if he was lucky.
"So, how've you been?" You said quietly as you were both overlooking the dance floor, avoiding looking directly at each other.
"Not good," Rafa said quietly, "like shit, actually... how about you?"
"Yeah, well I guess 'shit' sums it up neatly... How's sober life?"
"Oh, it's - yeah - it's - it's great!" He said, the lie thick in his throat, "I feel so much better now." He knew how much he had hurt you, and he knew how difficult it must be for you to face him after you'd said that you never wanted to see him again - which just really only made his lying so much worse. Fuck, how he hated himself for what he had done. What he was still doing.
Your eyes darted across his face before your gaze settled on a spot just below his chin. He was relieved that you weren't staring him square in the eyes. "I was so happy to hear your voicemail," you whispered, "you really flushed your stash?"
"Yes," he croaked.
"I'm glad that you're finally taking care of yourself," he couldn't make out your face in the dark but he could hear a hint of happiness to your voice that you were clearly trying to suppress. It made him feel horrible.
"Yeah, I want to stay sober for you," he said slowly. At least that wasn't a lie.
"You have no idea how happy that makes me," you said quietly, the happiness definitely shining through now.
Rafa's heart was fluttering in his chest, and he felt the coke-induced euphoria run amok in his brain, "...does that mean you'll forgive me?" All his senses were heightened.
"It's a step in the right direction" you said quietly, still not looking directly at him, "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too baby," Rafa said quietly and boldly took your hand in his.
Finally, you looked up at him, and to avoid you noticing his bloodshot eyes with the dilated pupils, he took a quick decision, leaned in and crashed his lips against yours.
Luckily, you mistook his desperation for passion and fiercely kissed him back, your hand releasing itself from his, and instead caressing his neck. In-between kisses you managed to mumble, "I'm still... mad... at you."
"I know," Rafa mumbled, enjoying the familiar feeling of your lips against his. Your hands switched to caressing his torso, and your small fingers travelled over his stomach and up his chest, coming to a halt over his heart. It was racing against his ribcage and he had no idea whether it was due to the coke or due to the heap of emotions he felt in his chest. He couldn't believe he was kissing you again. He had completely written it off no more than half an hour ago.
Your right hand moved away from his heart but came to a sudden halt when you felt a small bump in Rafa's breast pocket. Still kissing him, you ran your fingers over the bump a few times before you remembered that it was where he always kept his coke. Quickly, you pulled your lips away from his.
"Wait, no, don't take kissing away from me," he hummed, completely unaware of the discovery you'd just done.
You were looking at his euphoric face with the closed eyes and the swollen lips as you moved your hand over his breast pocket once more.
When Rafa realised what was going on his eyes flew open and he spluttered, "it isn't what you think!"
But he was too slow to react, and before he had had the chance to move away, your fingers went inside his breast pocket and grabbed the small bag from there. "You've got to be kidding me!" You said angrily as you held his coke between your fingertips.
"Baby, I can explain," Rafa said quickly while desperately grabbing your wrist.
"Rafa, you fucking idiot! Don't touch me!" You wrestled yourself out of his grip, got up from your seat, and fast-paced towards the door.
"Baby! Baby!" Rafa yelled out as he ran after you.
"Don't touch me!" You cried, attracting the attention of everyone in your path.
You stormed out the door, Rafa at your heel desperately clinging to every inch of you that he could reach. When you reached the curb outside, he finally managed to run up in front of you, stopping you in your tracks, "baby, I can explain!" He said desperately.
"You said you'd flushed it all!" You were screaming at him now, the tears running down your face.
"It was a mistake, baby, I swear I didn't mean to. I flushed it all, I promise. It's just a setback."
"When did you buy this, Rafa?" You said through gritted teeth, "how long did you manage to stay sober before you decided you wanted to throw it all away?"
Rafa looked away from you, he was so embarrassed by himself, "Morris called and I tried to say no, I really did! Baby, I tried so hard to resist it. But he was persistent."
"Well, did he force you to buy?" You hissed. You were having none of his excuses.
"...No." Rafa admitted.
"When did you buy it?" You emphasised every word, "before or after you called me last weekend?"
"After..."
"When? How long after? When did you have your setback?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes! I need to know if you did it because you were physically craving it, because you just felt like getting high, or if you did it because you’d thrown the thought of us away when I didn’t answer you.”
"I tried to fight it, I swear I tried to fight it," he was getting choked up.
"Rafa, tell me when you bought it."
He considered shooting you a lie but he didn't want to fuck up any more. "I bought it tonight..." he finally muttered under his breath, avoiding your gaze.
"You're not serious!! You bought it tonight?" You bellowed, "are you trying to tell me that you planned on throwing away your soberness tonight? That if I hadn't shown up, you'd be high as balls right now?"
Rafa didn't say anything, he just looked at you with huge eyes, the embarrassment evident on his face - and first then did you notice his blood-shot eyeballs with the abnormally large pupils that had taken over most of the green that was normally present.
"No..." you whispered when you realised, "no, no, no..." you groaned quietly, clutching your chest, "you're high right now?" The heartbreak was evident in your voice.
Rafa sent you a pained look. He fucking hated himself.
"You're high..." You stated in a whisper, the tears were streaming down your face, "you lied."
He had broken your heart. Again.
"I - I didn't mean to," he croaked, "I was just so happy to see you. I knew you wouldn't want to talk to me if I told you the truth."
"So you planned on telling me when?"
"I don't know," he croaked, "I didn't think it through. I've been sober for three weeks. Tonight's just a small setback. Baby, I swear, I'll block Morris and I'll flush this baggie right now if I can just get you back," Rafa was begging, “I’ll stop if you tell me to!”
"Rafa, how many times do I have to tell you," you cried, "You have to stop because you want to. Not because I tell you to stop! I don't care about the snorting! I don't care that you party and get high! You've done lines of my tits several times for God's sake! But I can't live with the constant lying that has become part of it!"
Fuck, Rafa knew what you were building to. His life's biggest mistake. He had it coming, he knew it. He deserved it. He was a fucking cheating coke-head and he hated it. "Please don't bring it up," he sobbed.
You didn't listen to him. You had to confront him with it because he clearly hadn't understood. "Rafa, you fucked another girl! And you were so high that you didn't even realise it! And when you woke up the next day and saw what you'd done, you lied about your whereabouts and the fact that you'd been high as fuck! I had to learn about it through her!" You were sobbing, "...and instead of staying home and comforting me, you lied about having to go to the studio, and you met up with Morris and you got high! Again! If knowing that you're breaking my heart with your constant lies doesn't make you want to quit, I'm not sure what will."
"I want to stop!" he sobbed. He had never felt so horrible before, "I love you, I want to be with you," he sniffled and took your hand, "please give me another chance! I'll stop snorting. I'll stop lying. I'll do anything for you."
It looked as if you were contemplating his words but the look in your eyes darkened suddenly and you let out a whisper, "no Rafa!" as you pulled your hand away from his.
"Baby, please!" He pleaded desperately, "I love you."
"You love coke more," you whispered.
"I have a problem," Rafa tried desperately, "I know. I can't stop. But I'll get help. I'll do whatever you want me to do!"
"Rafa, if you stop snorting because I tell you to stop, it will never last! You love getting high!"
"That's not true... it's pathetic," he cried.
"Rafa, honey,” you said quietly, “- ask yourself this; would you be throwing away this baggie and deleting Morris' number if I wasn't leaving you because of it?"
"Yes," he croaked immediately.
You took a deep breath of air, hurt written all over your face, "Love," you sighed desperately as a fresh wave of tears started streaming down your face, "you're lying again..." you sobbed, and put the baggie in the palm of his hand and folded his fingers around it.
"I'm flushing it," he croaked.
"Do whatever you want," you whispered and looked him in the eye, "We're not together anymore. I'm done - it's over,” you said as you slowly turned around and started walking away from him.
“No, no, no! Please come back!”
“No Rafa… This time I'm serious,” you said before you started walking again.
This time, Rafa didn't run after you. He just watched you walk further and further away from him as your hands dried the tears off of your face every two seconds. He imagined you stopping, imagined the hurt look you'd send him. How he'd run over to you and take you in his arms. Imagined how he'd apologise and you'd both hug and cry and kiss it out. But you didn't stop. You didn't send him any look at all. And he didn’t run to you, he was glued to the pavement.
He stood as if frozen in time and looked after you even long after you'd disappeared around the corner. Suddenly, however, he noticed that he was still clutching the baggie in his closed fist. Slowly, he opened the palm to reveal the beautiful mother-of-pearl-coloured powder. He contemplated dropping it down the gutter next to him. It would all be so easy.
But instead, he closed his fingers around it and pocketed it right above his broken heart. It would help relieve the terrible thunder that he felt rolling over him. It brought along a storm of emotions. A hurricane of regrets. And he was desperate to get high.
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thatesqcrush · 4 years ago
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Time of the Month
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Kevin Mulrooney x Reader. I mentioned possibly writing him again and an anon was definitely interested. Warnings: Dark!fic - dubcon, knife play, blood play, smut (they have sex while she is on her period), language. Possibly squick for many so I am only tagging those who may be interested: @beccabarba @madpanda75 @dreamlover31 @teamsladsandgents​
AN: Final piece for Love You, Love You Not Bingo. Using South of the Border for my song of choice. 
WC: 1.8K
**
“Babe, I’m a bad wife, I got Chinese for dinner.” You replied as you made your way into your Brooklyn apartment, slamming the door behind with your foot. When you received no response, you called out for your husband again. 
“Kev?” You set down the bag of takeout and your work bag. You made your further into the apartment; it was eerily quiet. You pushed the door to the bedroom, when you felt a set of hands on your shoulders. You let out a scream as you whipped around and met the green eyes of your husband.
“Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me!” You frowned, hitting him slightly on the shoulder. “I hate when you sneak up on me like that. I thought you were a murderer or something.”
A smile twitched on Kevin’s face and he let out a small chuckle. “That’ll make the headline - ADA Kevin Mulrooney, secret slasher extraordinaire.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips.  “You got Chinese for dinner?”
“Yeah.” You sighed. “It’s that time of the month and I am having the worst cramps. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” Kevin replied. “Why don’t you change and I’ll set out the food.”
“You’re the best - this is why I married you.” You replied, wrapping your arms around his neck. 
“Ah, see I thought you married me for my looks.” Kevin murmured, stroking your chin. His hand moved down to your neck and wrapped around it so gently, you hardly noticed. Kevin could feel your pulse throb with his thumb and his cock stirred to life. 
“That too.” You replied, before raising up to kiss him once more. Kevin pulled you closer to him and you could see a glint in his eyes, causing you to arch your brow in curiosity. 
“Go change.” Kevin replied, giving your ass a squeeze. 
You rolled your eyes, “Okay my little murderer.” You turned and made way to the bedroom, where you changed into a tank-top and sweats. Your hair, which was loose, was bundled into a messy top-knot and you walked back to find that Kevin had spread out the food on the coffee table with chopsticks. 
“What movie do you want to watch?” Kevin asked as he turned on the tv. 
“Oh anything - I don’t really care.” You replied, curling up on the couch. Kevin chose a documentary, but it wasn’t really watched as the two of you ate and caught up on the day's events.
After dinner, the two of you cleaned up. You were rinsing a plate when you felt Kevin come up to you, him pressing into your back. You shivered as his lips touched your skin, trailing down kisses down the slope of your neck.
“Mmm, babe, I want to,” you protested, “but I told you, it’s that time of the month.”
“Did you know, having an orgasm can help relieve cramps?” Kevin murmured into your ear as one hand slipped under your tank top to cup your tit. He rolled your nipple with his thumb and forefinger.
“I don’t know… I have never…” You continued to protest. Kevin removed his hand from your tit and slipped down and into the waistband of your sweatpants. 
“Babe, I don’t want…” You protested once more, but Kevin ignored it as his hand pushed past the waistband of your panties and cupping your cunt. The back of his hand felt the material of what he assumed was your maxi pad. He was pleased you chose to wear one instead of your usual tampons. Kevin’s fingers quickly found your clitoris and he began to rub it in soft circles. He directed his mouth back to your neck, sucking marks into your skin. You moaned and closed your eyes as you gripped the lip of the sink as he continued to play with you. “Kev, I … oh fuck.”
Kevin could feel your wetness grow and he wondered how much of it was your arousal versus actual menstrual blood.  He slipped his hand from inside and brought it to his face, his eyes darkening at the sight of your arousal streaked with some blood.
You happened to turn around to face him and you swallowed hard as you watched him suck his fingers clean.  You opened your mouth to say something and instead you crushed your lips to his, in a rough kiss. Your hands tangled into his hair as you kissed him, hungry and desperate. “Join me in our bed.”
Kevin picked you up and smacked your ass as he brought you to the bedroom. Once in the bedroom, Kevin gave you a wicked grin before making quick removal of his clothes, his cock hard, red, and weeping. 
 “You trust me?” Kevin asked, breathless as he stood over your form. 
You nodded. “Of course.” 
You thought Kevin was going to make way to the chest in front of the bed where the two of you kept various sex toys. Instead he went to his side of the dresser and pulled out a fixed blade knife, about 5 to 6 inches in total length, with about a 3-inch blade. You scrambled up slightly, fear coursing through you as the night seemed to take an unprecedented turn.
Kevin took a step towards you, causing you to jump once more. You felt cemented in place as all you wanted to do was run but you were too panicked to do so. Kevin noticed and his gaze softened momentarily.
“I am not going to hurt you - I promise. It is sharp on one side and dull on the other.” Kevin explained as he played with the knife. 
“Kevin - I don’t know…” You stammered, feeling tears well. “I love you but…”
“Shhh, relax.” Kevin replied, sitting next to you. “I am going to make you feel so good. I’m gonna put my time in. You never live 'til you risk your life.”
He pressed his lips to yours once more, kissing you gently and softly. “Trust me.” He took the knife and ghosted it under your tank top, the feel of the cold blade grazing your skin. Your heart began to beat faster and goosebumps covered your skin.
“You’re a little crazy, but I'm just your type.” You murmured.
Kevin brought the knife back up from under. He grabbed at your tank top with his other hand and jerked up with the knife in one sharp motion, tearing the material with a pained rip. You gasped as he did so. Kevin ran the blade up between the valley of your breasts before tracing the tip around your already so sensitive nipples. His hand made way down your sweatpants again, finding its way easily to your pussy. You let out a groan as he sunk a finger inside of you. As he stroked you, Kevin continued to run the knife along your body. Part of his psyche urged him to nick you, but he fought against that, focusing on your moans to keep him locked into reality.
Kevin could feel your walls flutter against his fingers, so he slipped his fingers out of you, much to your protest. He grabbed the hem of your sweatpants and pulled them down. Kneeling in front of you, he spread your legs apart. 
“Kevin - no, that’s too much.” You protested again. Kevin took the knife and ran it along your inner thighs before bringing it to the waistband of your panties, and repeated the actions from earlier, tearing the material with ease. 
Kevin dropped the knife and encouraged you to lift your hips to remove the ruined material. Then his mouth was on your hot, wet core, eating you out as if he were a man starved. He dragged his tongue around, tasting you and enjoying the mixture of your arousal and slight metallic taste of your blood.  Your body arched in response and he moved his arm to lay it over you to keep you in place. Kevin kept a steady pace on you, watching your face as you gasped and moaned as he brought you to the edge. His teeth nipped your clit as he stroked that sensitive spot. 
“Kev, oh shit, fuck, I am gonna- fuck, gonna c--” You voice faltered as you came hard around his mouth. As more of your arousal and blood mixed into his mouth, his arousal surged through his body as if something animalistic and primal was awoken. 
You barely had a moment to come down, before Kevin was over you. He pushed your knees up and sunk his cock into you. You let out a gasp as he bottomed out and began to fuck you hard, and furious. Your foreheads touch and you pulled his face to yours, streaked with red. He captured your lips once more, and you gasp against his mouth. “Fuck me harder Kevin, give it to me.” 
Kevin growls and picks up his pace. He pounds into your mercilessly, gripping you hard and you know come morning, you would be very much sore and his marks would remain as evidence of this night.
You angled your hips, finding friction against your clit and you can  feel your orgasm begin to crest. Kevin was now chasing his own release, getting closer and closer. He let out a deep guttural groan as he stilled, coming deep inside of you. You reached between finding your clit and you rubbed until your own release crashed over you, moaning Kevin’s name.
Kevin slumped over you, and you continued to cling to him, your bodies sweaty and sticky. A thought comes across your mind and you let out a giggle. Kevin raises his head and your eyes rake over the smatters of dried blood on his face.
“I guess you earned your red wings. Oh my god, did I just say that? Still can’t believe we did that.” 
Kevin removes his now softened cock from you, and he can’t help but spread your legs apart, watching his come drip out of you, no longer virginal white.  A smile spreads on his face as he slips his fingers back into your cunt. You let out another moan as he starts stroking you once more. He leaned closely to you, his eyes meeting yours.
“Out of curiosity, how long does your period last?” 
FIN.
69 notes · View notes
binniedeactivated · 4 years ago
Text
saint. || soobin (2.10)🌪*finale*
a/n: congratulations for making it to part 2 finale! I appreciate anyone who has made it this far in reading this series! ily<3333 enjoy!
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🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 2k
parked outside your house in the car was yeonjun, and you were more than glad he was on his phone and barely paying attention to you. you sighed, thinking about soobin’s words when he told you to be good for him. you made a promise to yourself that you’d be better until he comes back.
you entered the car and sat silently until yeonjun was done scrolling through his feed. you figured maybe you could use this time to mentally prepare yourself for school today. trying not to become too stressed, soon exams will be over and you could go back to having a regular mental capacity again. 
“i don’t know. if i entered someone else’s car I’d at least greet them”. yeonjun mutters with his eyes still pasted to his phone. you slowly narrowed your eyes at him. “since when do you care if I greet you?”. you ask. he shrugs his shoulders. “common courtesy. manners too”. he replies. you huff your breath ignoring him.
“are we going anywhere?”. you ask. 
“yes”. 
“so can we go? we’re just sitting here”. 
“why are you in a rush? you have nowhere to be at 6 o’clock in the morning”. 
you cross your arms. you know what soobin said. but yeonjun wasn’t making things any easier too. 
“you’re annoying”. you retort. 
“and you’re some angel?”.
“I never said that”.
“sure as hell was acting like it when you told soobin yesterday”.
“are you not disrespectful? you don’t how to speak to people. that’s your problem”.
“surely we aren’t talking about problems when you’re 18 years old and need someone to teach you how to have sex”.
you glare at him, completely oblivious to soobin even mentioning such things to an asshole like him. 
“that’s your problem”. yeonjun twisted, using your words against you.
“I don’t know why soobin is even friends with you. I hate you”. you grumble. yeonjun nods before starting up the car. 
“good”. 
you kept your mouth shut until you both were at the diner again. you really wanted to hit him for what he said. but you ought to be good for soobin. yeonjun gets out and slams the door behind himself like the rude person he was. you entered and sat across from him. he was reading the menu and asking the same waitress questions he already knew the answer to, he just wanted to flirt. you roll your eyes and pluck up your own menu preparing to order. 
after she finished taking your orders she gave you this snarky ass look almost as if to say, “how does it feel to have your man taken?” . you wanted to assure her that you didn’t know and that yeonjun is completely on the market but you didn’t care enough. you felt yeonjun chuckling to himself at the entire situation.
trying to air out the drama you try to ask questions instead. you place your elbows on the table, 
“how do you think today is going to go for soobin?”.
“he’ll be fine. he should get out within two days if those dumb ass officers reach a verdict already”.
“why two days? it takes that long? the boys don’t have a story”.
“for some odd reason they want this to be soobin fault so the officers been desperate to frame him. it going to take them longer than usual because the want to connect invisible dots”. 
you sigh, 
“this is ridiculous”. 
“as fuck. he’ll be alright though”. 
you sit back and think further until your food was sitting in front of you. you dragged your utensils out of the napkin preparing to eat with soobin weighing heavily on your mind.
“here you go with that shit again”. yeonjun insults taking a grossed out glare at your food. 
“yes I can eat what I want. worry about your food and I’ll worry about mine”.
“I’ll worry about whatever the fuck i want to worry about”. 
“worrying about me will get you nowhere”. 
“yep, because you’re nothing”. yeonjun stated before forking a piece of fried egg into his mouth. you wanted to hit him so bad but you held back for soobin and soobin only. you ate your food quickly so you both can hurry out of there before yeonjun got hurt from going to far with his insults. 
sooner or later you were at school attending a mass. it kind of bummed you out because it would be dull without soobin whispering and talking to you as if he weren’t supposed to be praying. one of the sister’s used their fingers to beckon you to the confessional. you had to admit you were kind of scared, it’s been a long time since you confessed to some things. maybe this was the life of a normal catholic teenager. 
“good afternoon father benjamin”. you say kind of anxiously. 
“good afternoon. is there anything you want to confess?”.
you took a deep breath. “i don’t even know where to start”.
“take your time”. 
“this is kind of embarrassing but... i’ve been feeling more sexual than usual lately and i’ve been worried about exams and--someone trying to be framed for a crime they didn’t commit. i guess i’ve been too focused on my own life rather than praying that things get better for me”.
“first and foremost you must understand that sexual feelings are normal at your age. but it’s best to learn how to control them early on so they don’t spiral out of control”. you nodded, knowing you were in way too deep at this point. 
“I understand”. 
“your lack of prayer is your reason for your lack of peace. you are trying to handle all of your emotions on your own when our heavenly father doesn’t want that”. you nod once more feeling kind of guilty. 
“and your job is to never stress over things such as friends with crimes. I understand it can be difficult to deal with but sometimes people are only who we think they are”. 
“what do you mean?”.
“do not become too invested into someone you don’t entirely know about”.
you bit the inside of your cheeks thinking and nodding. “thank you father benjamin”. “you are forgiven, my saint”. 
you thought about the priests words until mass was over, trying to figure out what he was getting at. you did completely know about soobin, right? he’s changing for the better? 
all of the kids from mass were spilling back into the school building and attending their classes regularly. but it was hard to not lock eyes with yeonjun who was being guided into the principal’s office with two officers at his side. just the thought that the situation had to do with soobin made your heart race expeditiously. 
the officers closed the door behind them and yeonjun was sat down in a wooden chair, completely confused with whatever was going on.
“good afternoon choi yeonjun. you’re not in trouble at all but these gentlemen are looking for some of the people  you may have connections to”. the principal spoke while still maintaining his serious demeanor. yeonjun looks back at the officers, “what happened?”. one of them stepped forward.
“there was an incident at the Premiere hotel just weeks ago. we looked at the security footage countless times. we would like to show you so you can identify these people if that’s okay? everything you do here--even your name is extremely confidential”. 
yeonjun hid his nerves well. he shrugged. “yeah I guess that’s cool”. the officer nodded and pulled out a camcorder and turned it on, flipping it so that yeonjun could see. for starters it would be hard to figure out who anyone was, yeonjun thought. the camera quality was bad and it didn’t get the best angles. but it was easy for yeonjun’s brain of course. he spotted 5 males walk into a hotel room together. shortly after there was another male who appeared to be bringing a girl in the hotel room before leaving just minutes after. 
yeonjun wasn’t stupid. he knew the 5 males were michael, minho, seongjun, kevin and beomgyu. he knew that soobin was the male bringing mia into the room. so he spoke accordingly. 
“those 5 males, from what I can make out looks like--minho, michael, seongjun, kevin and beomgyu. I believe that female could be mia”. 
“and the male to her left?”.
yeonjun shakes his head. “I’m not quite sure”.
“this seems fairly easy for you. are you sure you can’t identify him?”. 
“the name on the credit card used that night says it belongs to someone by the name of choi soobin. do you think he has anything to do with this?”. 
“could this be him in the tape?”. they back and forthed. yeonjun shakes his head again.
“I don’t think soobin had anything to do with it i mean, those guys are also thieves. and I can’t identify the male in that tape”. 
“are you being honest?”.
yeonjun gives him a dumbfounded expression. “why would i lie to a cop?”. 
“people do it all the time buddy. especially with footage like this”. 
“welp, sorry to break it to you but your trash ass security footage has nothing to do with my integrity”.
with folded hands the principal gives him a look, 
“choi yeonjun I think you need to be a bit more respectful”.
“pfft. that isn’t the first time I’ve heard that line”. 
“we’re not here to frame you,  or anyone just yet. we just want information”. the other officer informs. 
“thank you--as if I didn’t know that already I already gave you the information that I think to be true. if you want me to list random names of people in this building so you can have a solved crime then we can just say the principal did it and this can be over with”. yeonjun quips calmly. 
“we understand that and we thank you for giving us the information we needed. Principal West I think we’re done here”. 
“try not being hostile next time bud?”.
the officer closes the camcorder and the principal stands to shake both of their hands before helping them to the exit. 
yeonjun not rolls his eyes in that moment but he also was rolling his eyes to you for the whole day, each time you asked him about what happened. you didn’t understand why he couldn’t just tell you. he was calling you difficult but at this time he was being the difficult one. after school you slid into the passenger seat of his car yet again. you took a deep breath before you spoke.
“yeonjun I’m only going to ask you just one more time and it’s only for the sake of me making sure soobin is okay. what happened with the police?”.
yeonjun starts up the car and switch gears. 
“I thought I told you to mind your fucking business already?”. 
“It’s just a question I don’t understand why you have to act rude and belligerent”. 
“stop making me repeat myself and maybe I won’t act belligerent next time. stay in your place”. 
“what are you talking about? If it has anything to do with soobin then it is my place to know”.
“if you do know what the hell are you going to do about it? you have no power or authority”.
“you’re annoying I swear to god”.
“and I apologize that god has to hear your dumb ass voice swearing to him once again”.
it took everything in you to keep still. the only thing that was keeping you calm was the fact that you both were on your way to see soobin. your heart danced until you were finally able to meet his gaze and he kisses you like he always did. yeonjun rolls his eyes, “any updates for today?”. 
“they took the last of them in for questioning. they’re discussing the verdict today and I should know tomorrow”. yeonjun nodded before smirking. 
“soobin is going to be a free man?”. soobin laughs, 
“stop acting like i’ve been locked away for years”. 
“I have to talk to you about something though”.
“what is it?”, 
yeonjun hinted that you were still in the room. 
“can you give us a second princess?”. soobin requests, and you did so politely. you thought you felt his eyes on your ass while you were walking out, either that or you were going crazy. 
“you guys are fucking revolting”. yeonjun comments, watching soobin’s eyes indeed-- on your ass. 
“she’s so sexy I want to eat her pussy again”. 
“hold on, again?”.
yeonjun pretends to make gagging noises, “you can’t be serious”. soobin laughs at how dramatic he was. 
“what do you need to talk to me about?”.
“the police came to the school today and asked me to identify the people in the security footage of the hotel that night”. 
soobin’s eyes expanded and his heart nearly stopped. 
“what?”. 
“don’t worry, the camera shoots at like 20 pixels. it would be hard for anyone to identify, but i told them that I didn’t recognize you. I only identified the boys and mia. the only thing they do have on you is the fact that your credit card was swiped to pay for the hotel room”.
soobin throws his hands on top of his head, 
“fuck”. he breathes. 
“don’t even worry about this one. we’re going to get you a good lawyer and we’re going to fix this shit and make those motherfuckers go to jail for the rest of their lives alright?”. 
soobin gradually nods, “fucking bad timing though”. 
“don’t worry I think they are asking other people. it’s going to take them a while to collect data with the footage they have”.
“good. that’s good”.
“yeah it is actually”.
“how was my baby today?”. soobin asks on another note. 
“you’re asking me that as if she isn’t annoying on a daily basis”.
“you two just can’t fucking get along for shit huh?”. 
“hell no. and i don’t want to get along with her that’s your job”. 
“it’s also your job to take care of her until i come back”. 
“don’t remind me. it’s already a drag that I have to take her home”.
“you’ll be fine dipshit. make sure she’s in the house safely”. 
“yeah whatever”. yeonjun says on his way out. 
“tell her to kiss me goodbye before you guys leave”. soobin calls out shortly after. yeonjun glares at you in the waiting room. 
“yo dumbass, go say goodbye to Al Capone”. 
you scoff and do as you were told. you didn’t want to waste your energy on yeonjun especially if you were here for soobin right now. soobin kisses you again, adding a bit more tongue this time sinking your heart like so. when he pulled away you secretly wanted more. 
“be good for me okay?”. 
“hm. what do I get if I’m good?”. you reply, feeling kind of risky. soobin smirks, 
“we can see how long you last on my face”.
at this point you were beyond flustered and soobin knew it. he chuckles softly, 
“get home safely and make sure you study. yeonjun has my credit card if you need anything”. 
you thank him and give him an okay before you left. you thought you could’ve been exaggerating things but what soobin said made you kind of wet. him eating you out was amazing but you could only imagine sitting on his face. 
“a kiss shouldn’t take that long”. yeonjun complains as soon as you enter the car. you roll your eyes yet again. he starts driving.
“I didn’t know I was on a schedule”. 
“you’re not. you’re on my time”. 
“why do you always feel the need to speak? like seriously”. 
“because I can and I will. whose going to stop me?”. 
“I hope someone does soon because you’re really out of hand”.
“am I?”. 
“yes”. 
“I don’t give a fuck”. 
“you should”. 
“you should give a fuck about a lot of things”.
“I didn’t ask so mind your business”. 
“I don’t have to”.
“you’re so self centered and low it isn’t even funny”. 
“you’re so pathetic and inexperienced it actually is funny”. 
you glare at him once again, god-you hated him. 
“you’re annoying and I hate you, I hope you know that”. you say with a little more projection and attitude. 
“you’re annoying and you’re also a bitch I hope you know that too”. 
that was it, you had enough. you used all the strength you could muster to slap yeonjun across his face. with a clenched jaw he narrowed his eyes at the road ahead. 
“don’t call me that”. you uttered and anger. the car jerked to the side of the road so hard you didn’t even feel it come to a stop. you didn’t have time to blink before yeonjun was grabbing you by the collar of your shirt. he was breathing heavy and his face looked more serious than you’d ever seen it.
“don’t fucking hit me”. he growled. 
“stop being so disrespectful then”. 
he pushes his face closer to yours. 
“I can do what I want. what are you going to do about it?”. 
the both of you found yourself breathing heavy and more than angry with the other. you hated yeonjun for all he was and he hated you with the same token. but it only took one swift glance at his lips for you to give in. he presses his lips on yours and you give in, kissing back like you had no care in the world. the two of you fought for breath before going back for more. his lips were kind of forceful yet soft. and he thought yours were too innocent to get enough of. he pulls you onto his lap while you were kissing him. his hands wandered your thighs and you let them in the heat of the moment. you didn’t know what you were doing but you couldn’t stop. 
his hands grope your ass and you grinded down on his lap, resulting in your breathing becoming shaky. you were already wet from soobin’s words so it didn’t take long for you to start throbbing in your panties. you quivered when you felt yeonjun’s hand sweep past your clothed clit. 
and that’s when it hit you--what were you doing? 
you let the kissing come to a halt, “yeonjun we can’t do this”. he stares into your eyes also snapping back into reality. “you’re right, what the fuck are we doing?”. 
you felt your heart still beating at a fast pace while you crawled back to the passenger’s seat of the car. hoping and praying that this all was just a dream. you didn’t mean for it to happen. maybe you were just desperate. you bit your lips. 
“we can’t tell soobin about this”.
131 notes · View notes
pleom · 4 years ago
Note
Hi :) May I request a fluff with kevin where you both like each other and the members rat him out pls? Thx
wc: 2.1k | CW: one (1) mention of weed
Saturday called your name. You had to wait painfully as the day dragged its feet through presentations and lectures. By the time the school day ended, you held no more excitement for the weekend as you sat in one of the university’s lounges waiting for your friend to drive you home.
All tuckered out from discussing and convincing your classmates of topics neither of you particularly cared about, you almost ignored Kevin when he approached you, phone two-inches from your face, headphones blaring in your ears at maximum volume, but then you remembered that he’s Kevin Moon, and when he’s got something to say, you listen. 
“Sorry to interrupt you there,” he started, and from his backpack he pulled out a small container of—, “Brownies. I had baked them this morning and wanted to give some to you as thanks.”
“Oh,” was all you squeaked out, though it wasn’t a sound of disappointment or even mild surprise. You had heard about Kevin’s godly baking skills, from the full mouths of those he generously gave them to. Usually his classmates, sometimes the professors, and it was enough to instill that hope that maybe you'll be one of  the receivers one day. Today, it seemed like an arbitrary gift. “Thanks for what?”
“For helping me with my group project.”
“Oh...Oh, yeah!” You gently took the container from Kevin’s hands. Soft confusion still lingering in your mind. “It wasn’t that big of a deal, I barely helped.”
“We got an A because of you!”
“Are you sure it was me? Because last I remembered, you guys did all the brute work, I just filled in the minor details.”
“Aren’t minor details the toughest part?”
You shrugged. You took a single brownie out of the container and put the rest in your bag. Kevin watched as you bit into it, humming a gleeful tune at the way you melted. It tasted even better than you expected. “This is too good to eat for free. How much do you want? Twenty dollars? Fifty?”
Kevin bit down a smile and waved his hand, sheepish. You noticed a brown mark on the back of his hand that wasn’t there the last time you saw him. You figured he must’ve burned himself. 
“You’re just gassing my head.” 
“No, I’m serious.” Kevin looked pleased to see you finish his brownie. “Did the others get some?”
The others being Sunwoo, Jacob, and Juyeon, the three who were assigned to the same project. You were actually called to help by Sunwoo, who pleaded and whined and bargained after your many attempts to say no, you had too much on your plate. Then, as a last resort, he began naming his teammates; guilted you with Jacob, tried to lure you in with Juyeon, and finally—the nail in the coffin—mentioned Kevin. You could imagine the cocky face Sunwoo must’ve had when he realized he had reeled you in. 
You gave up on trying to deny his accusations. You wouldn’t say you had a full-blown crush on Kevin Moon, but you were definitely fond of him in a way that could be described as infatuation. 
Now that the project’s done, you would see to Sunwoo’s promised reparations for the emotional damages he dealt. You were pretty sure he owed you five free milk tea bobas. 
“The others?” Kevin’s face contorted in confusion for a split moment, like he had already forgotten who had worked diligently on the project with him. He didn’t sound completely sure of himself when he answered, “yes, they did. I baked an extra large batch for everyone involved. Even gave some to the professor.”
“Is that why you have that burn mark?”
Kevin looked down at his hand before covering it with the other. “Oh, that. Yeah, this is what happens when you have an oven only as big enough as you can afford.”
“When I say I feel that…” You became increasingly aware of the dwindling topics to speak about, so before an awkward silence has time to settle in, you stand up from your seat and raise a hand for Kevin to shake. “My friend is probably waiting outside for me right now. Thank you again for the treat, really appreciate it! I’ll make sure to share some with her to spread the love around. Seriously, you should patent that recipe.”
“Learned from the best,” Kevin chuckled. “Thank you for helping. See ya later.”
“See ya!” And you were outside less than a minute later. 
Maybe you were the one that owed Sunwoo free drinks.
-
Saturday called and you answered, a bit more jubilant this time. Now that you had finished most of your homework and spent an hour cursing yourself to sleep over missed interactions with Kevin, you felt revitalized. 
You took the bus to Sunwoo’s dorm and let yourself in. On weekends, Sunwoo’s dorm room was rarely locked, considering that it took the name as the unofficial common room of the apartment building. Today, it was less crowded than usual, which to you was a relief. That meant there were less people you had to fight for access to Sunwoo’s computer. At times, you felt silly for acting so starved, but when you’re a broke college student with only one shitty laptop to your name, you had to take your graces as they came. 
Juyeon and Eric lied by the foot of the couch, competing with each other over some game displayed on Sunwoo’s TV. Sangyeon snacked by himself in the kitchen, and you spotted Changmin, Sunwoo’s roommate, quietly moving from room to room down by the hall. 
You decided to head into the kitchen first, whether to steal change off counters or food from the fridge. 
The fridge was destination number one, and frankly, it was empty. It was normally the usual sight, but you still had the faint taste of chocolate fudge on your lips that led you to ask, “you guys finished the brownies already?”
“What brownies?” 
“The ones Kevin made yesterday.”
“Ah, man, Kevin made brownies?!” Eric shouted from his seat. He screamed a second later, which was followed by Juyeon’s laughter, then rose to his feet to mirror you at the fridge door. “I told him to wait till Haknyeon gave me my $20 back! Can’t believe he made edibles and handed them out without me.”
“They weren’t edibles. Kevin made regular brownies for me, Juyeon, Jacob, and Sunwoo. Said it was because we worked on a project together due last Monday,” you said. You found a seat by Sangyeon on the kitchen island. Juyeon, who had set down his controller to stroll in after Eric, looked puzzled.
“Huh? Kevin didn’t give me any brownies.”
“Kevin made brownies? Where the hell is he?” Sunwoo barged loudly into the room thereafter, with mussed hair and grease-stained shirt and looking wholly comfortable up till he heard the commotion in the kitchen. He swept the room and the living room for signs of the boy, and brushed aside ingredients in the fridge for a confectionary he apparently did not receive. He came back empty-handed and confused; you were no different.
“Uh, didn’t you get them yesterday?” You asked. You were met with Sunwoo’s blank stare. “He said he baked them for all of you. I have a few left back at my house.”
“Yeah, as far as we know, there are none,” Juyeon peeped, though he didn’t look half as bothered as Sunwoo did.
“Are we sure you’re not playing us right now?” Sunwoo narrowed his eyes at you. He looked just about ready to kick you out. Changmin walked in, eyes wide but mischievous. It’s obvious that he’d been listening this whole time, and something in his gaze said that he knew much more than both of you, and that he was withholding it for the sake of drama. 
“Why would I lie?!”
“I dunno, to brag? To make us look like second-rate friends? You’re not even in any of Kevin’s classes!”
“Maybe he pulled a raffle…” Changmin said not-so-absentmindedly.
Sunwoo’s face was contorted with semi-offense. He patted his pockets before turning to dash down the hall to his bedroom, just in time for the front door to open and reveal the star in question. Kevin entered the room with exasperation etched clearly on his face. He didn’t seem to register you, his eyes glazing over people’s faces in search of one in particular.
Changmin, this time wide-eyed with panic, darted to hide behind the island.
“Hey, is Changmin here?”
“No!” Changmin yelled, slightly muffled. “But Changmin did relay a message. He said that he’s really, really sorry for any unfortunate events his actions may have caused. But he requests an extension on—”
“I’m too tired for this, Changmin. Just give me my—”
“Kevin, that burn mark still hasn’t healed?” You found yourself speaking without ever really considering what to say. You spoke on pure reflex, when Kevin came and leaned over the island kitchen with his hands curled around the edge, and the mark had turned less brown than inflamed red; the sight made you wince. 
“Is that…!?” Eric’s jaw dropped when he laid eyes on the same sight. He dramatically fell against one of the kitchen stools. “Oh man, he really did bake brownies without telling us.”
Sunwoo came back just in time to witness the climax of Kevin’s-secret-brownie-adventure story. Kevin looked like a deer in headlights. Changmin took the moment to crawl out from beneath the island to escape into his room. Sunwoo looked genuinely betrayed by Kevin’s arrival.
“Yeah, sorry bro, but that constitutes a two week ban from our place unless you pay us back in both brownies and cookies with interest.”
“I don’t even care about the brownies itself anymore,” Eric said, still curled up over a stool. “How come they got to have some but not us?”
Something about Eric’s question set something off in Sunwoo. Suddenly, his dramatics cooled down, and he looked at Kevin slyly. 
“No idea,” you said. At this point, as confusing as the whole thing was, you quickly grew tired of it. It became too much trouble for what seemed like a simple act of gratitude by Kevin, which was never out of character for him. And to top it off, now Kevin seemed to actively avoid looking at you, and the following disappointment was hard for you to swallow.
“I have some idea,” Sunwoo said, but he made no attempt to follow up on that statement. He sat down on one of the kitchen stools, pleased with himself.
“I do, too.” Juyeon said and sounded like he had an epiphany.  “I think Kevin must really like (Y/N) to be able to do that!”
Silence. All eyes in the room shifted from you to Kevin. Too scared to look directly at the boy himself, you peeked at him from the corner of your eye and saw the look of pure devastation on his face. Juyeon seemed oblivious to it all. Sunwoo, luckily, was there to reel it in. 
“Hey, Juyeon, can I borrow you for a second?”
“Gah!” Unfortunately, the damage had been dealt. Kevin hightailed it out over Sunwoo’s apartment with you hot on his tracks.
“Kevin wait!”
You found him sitting out on the apartment steps, face buried in his hands. He didn’t respond when you called out his name, nor when you sat down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. The sight broke your heart, so you thought of ways you could help soothe his panic.
Reaching down you pulled Kevin’s hand into yours, the one with the bright red burn, and massaged it with the pads of your fingers.
“To be fair, I don’t think Juyeon’s assessment really holds any weight, so please, don’t worry about it,” you said. Kevin took a while to respond, but eventually he lifted his head. He didn’t look you in the eyes when he spoke.
“It does though,” he sighed. “I was going to wait for the right time to confess.”
His words made you halt.
“Confess?” You shot up straight, dropping his hand into your lap. “Kev,  do you actually mean that?”
You watched as his ears and cheeks began to redden. He chanced a shy glance your way, and you could feel his fingers flex in your lap.
“Uh...depending on your reaction, hopefully…?”
Returning your hand on his, you pulled it closer to you. You traced around his injury, keeping an eye on his reaction in case he pulled back or winced with pain. Then, bravely, you interlocked both of your fingers and inhaled with relief when he tightened his grip. 
You did it all without ever breaking eye contact, and with a small smile, you asked, “do you want to give it a try at least?”
Kevin’s stress seemed to have dissolved from him completely then. He mirrored your smile.
In the back of your mind, you hoped Sunwoo wasn’t scolding Juyeon too hard.
----
me mentioning sangyeon in the kitchen once before dropping him entirely from the fic 🤡🤡 anyways anon thank u for requesting!! this was kinda cringe but also kinda fun to write so lol
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corie-the-writer · 4 years ago
Text
Won’t Let Go - Ch. 4
Tag List : @talicat713 @itsdesiree86 @halsteadsway @itmejado @toomuchtv95 @panaitbeatrice
Chapter 4 
Sophia had a blast at the cabin even though a part of her had missed spending time with Jay, especially since she had left right after they had sex for the first time. She had promised herself to make the most of the girl time with Sylvie, Stella, Emily and Kim in the cabin for the weekend. 
The girls had spent their days in the sun on the lake, even though it was starting to change from summer to fall, the day time the weather was still warm enough to enjoy the water. At night, they had spent their time drinking wine, watching movies and just lounging around. 
Sophia had text Jay the night they had arrived letting him know that they had arrived safely, and they were exhausted from the drive, they had headed to bed early to enjoy the next two days of doing absolutely nothing. The next morning Sophia had woken up to a picture text from Jay, he was giving her a pouty face claiming to smell like her perfume, and expressing that he was tempted to crash their trip to steal her away. Her heart swelled with the declaration, but promising to spend an entire evening with him once she had gotten back. 
During the day, Stella had convinced a group of young men to take them out on a boat, which was a lot of fun. They had learned to water board, each taking turns with one of the guys teaching them. There were a round of photos of each girl, and Sophia had sent a picture to Jay, showing him what she had learned. He had questioned who the man was on the board next to her, and she had decided to tease him a bit, and realized that he was a cute amount of jealous. Jay had sent her a number of photos the first day, one of him laying in bed shirtless, explaining that he had absolutely no plans, and then another photo later that night when he was at Molly's, saying that Kevin and Adam had hauled him out for a guys night since he was moping around. 
The second day Sophia had decided to spend time with just the girls, sending a text to Jay, letting him know that she wasn't ignoring him, but just wanted to stay present on their final day away. 
That day the girls had went to a cook out where the young men from the boat had invited them, since they were quite younger than them, they had introduced the girls to their parents, and some of the family members that were around, along with their friends. Once the cook out was over, they had went back to their cabin to swim around at the lake and lay out in the sun, just enjoying the scenery and peace around them for the better part of the afternoon. Once the sun had went down, they had decided to have a bonfire for a little while, enjoying a nice bottle of wine, and then headed inside to have girl talk. Sophia had been questioned about her relationship with Jay, and not really knowing the title of what they were, she admitted that they had slept together the day she had left for the trip. 
Later that evening once everyone was winding down for bed, Sophia had gotten the idea to call Jay while being a little tipsy. 
"Hey beautiful..." Jay began to answer the phone call but Sophia had cut him off with a frustrated sigh. 
"So what exactly are we?" Sophia questioned, "I've been drinking, the girls started asking what was going on between us and I'm just as confused as them." Sophia admitted, "Like is this just a hook-up?" Sophia started throwing out different labels causing Jay to let out a small laugh. 
"Babe, will you let me talk?" Jay questioned into the cell phone. 
"S..Sorry..." Sophia mumbled. 
"I like you Soph...a lot..." Jay started out and Sophia had let the wine brain take over and immediately thought the worst. 
"Oh god..." Sophia had stopped him, "I shouldn't have called..." Sophia grumbled smacking herself in the forehead, thinking that he was going to tell her that he wasn't interested in anything, "I'll let you go..." Sophia quickly added, she was slightly aware of Jay saying her name, but she had hung up the phone too quickly. 
Sophia tossed her phone onto the bed in the cabin and heard the phone ringing from the mattress. Sophia cringed not thinking clearly with the amount of alcohol she had consumed through that day, well into the evening.  The ringing stopped after a moment and then started back up again causing Sophia to stand up from the bed and looked at the cell phone as if it were going to grow legs and walk to her. Once the ringing had stopped, she was expecting it to start again and she let out a sigh of relief once it remained silent in her small room. 
Deciding to walk around in circles, Sophia had put her hands on her head trying to figure out what to do next, and she jumped and screamed when the door blew open to see Stella Kidd and Kim Burgess standing in the doorway with a cell phone in hand. 
"What the hell was that?!" Jay's voice came through the speaker phone of Kim's phone. 
"That was Sophia being drunk." Stella answered, "Now Sophia you're going to sit on that bed and listen to what Halstead has to say." Stella pointed to the bed with a stern look on her face and Sophia rolled her eyes and practically stomped to the bed. Once she had sat on the bed, Kidd leaned closer to the phone, "Go ahead Halstead." 
"Soph?" Jay's voice was gentle as he spoke over the phone, "I was saying that I really like you, a lot. I wanted to wait until you got back to have this conversation, but I want to make things official between us." Jay explained awkwardly, knowing that Kim and Stella were both listening. 
"Really?" Sophia's mouth dropped for a moment. 
"Yes really." Jay chuckled, "Do you think that you could call me so we can talk privately? No offense to Kidd and Burgess." Jay added. 
Sophia's cheeks were completely flushed in embarrassment but agreed to call him on her phone. Once Stella had confirmed to Jay that they would be back in town at eight thirty in the morning that coming morning, they said their goodbyes. 
Sophia had called Jay and was overly quiet, "I am so embarrassed right now." Sophia had admitted as she laid in the bed with Jay's hoodie on her, "I can't believe I'm wine drunk right now and turned into one of those people I loathe." Jay couldn't help but to laugh, "How much have you drank?" Jay questioned fighting back a yawn, already knowing that he had the next two days off. 
"Well, we've been drinking off and on since noon." Sophia admitted, "I don't think I am going to drink another drop of alcohol as long as I live." 
"That bad huh?" Jay chuckled, "Are you going to remember any of this conversation?" Jay questioned. 
"Oh I'll remember everything, I'll just have one hell of a hang over, and apparently wine makes me lose all common sense." Sophia explained, "So I'm really sorry for just jumping to conclusions. I sort of just panicked." 
"Well it's going on 2 in the morning and you guys are leaving in a couple of hours to head back, so you need to try to get a little bit of rest. So just know this, I want you to be my girlfriend, and I'll be waiting at your apartment for you tomorrow morning bright and early, and we are not leaving that bed for the next two days. Okay?" Jay spoke quietly and confidently, "And tomorrow once you've gotten the liquor out of your system we will talk, alright?" 
Sophia chuckled lightly, "Okay..." 
"Try to get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning." 
"Good night Jay." 
"Good night baby." 
 Sophia had felt the heaviness of her eyes, the smell of Jay's cologne lingering on the hoodie that she was wearing. Not caring in the moment that her skin was sun burnt causing her to be slightly cold as she lulled herself to sleep. 
The three and a half hours of sleep that Sophia had gotten was not enough to sleep off any of the alcohol that she had consumed. She had been grateful that Stella had shoved a large to go cup of coffee into her face as she got settled into the passenger seat of the jeep. Sophia was silently grateful that she wasn't the only one who was massively hung over. 
"So what did Jay say to you last night?" Stella questioned as she stopped off at a McDonalds for them to grab food for the ride back to town. 
"I uh...he said that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, and that he would be waiting at my place for me this morning." Sophia commented, "I'm trying to not get my hopes up because I think I'll be really sad if he's not actually there." Sophia added quietly, sleep filling her voice. 
"I think you'd be surprised." Stella commented as she pulled up to the window to grab the bags of food and drinks, "I've seen the way the guy looks at you since the moment he met you." Stella commented thanking the woman at the drive thru, then slowly pulling off, "I think he thinks you've personally hung the moon."  
"I just...I've never felt this way before. With Noah it was different. That was pure lust, but with Jay, it's lust and emotions, like everything all tied into one." Sophia explained grabbing the french fries she had ordered after taking a drink of her sweet tea, "I mean, everything is just different. When I'm with him, it's just like this huge sense of peace. It scares me because I don't know him all that well." 
"Well think about it like this..." Stella spoke with food in her mouth as she began driving on the high way, "He's a cop, a detective at that, so he has no criminal record which is a huge plus. He's served his country, and he's got a super level head on his shoulders. I mean hell, he punched a dude for grabbing your ass before he even introduced himself to you." Stella pointed out causing Sophia to laugh as she stuffed her mouth with more fries. 
"Okay, you gotta point." Sophia commented, "I think just with everything that happened with Noah, it's sort of made me apprehensive towards anyone." Sophia added. 
"Have you heard from him any?" Stella questioned. 
"No. Thankfully he had gotten mad enough when I left that he said, 'if you walk out that door do not think about coming back to me' like I had planned on it or something." Sophia chuckled fishing into the bag for her other food. 
"So I take it you haven't told Jay about Noah?" 
"What am I suppose to say?" Sophia questioned, "Hey Jay, I met this guy when I was traveling and I fell in love with his dick, and we have such great sex it turned into a toxic relationship, oh and he's a criminal but I'm not quite sure what he does exactly?" Sophia added causing Stella to snort with laughter. 
"Well I don't think I'd go that route, but obviously the relationship with Noah has caused a little bit of problems for you in trusting others, especially men." Stella suggested and Sophia gave a nod. 
"I'm sure I'll figure out what to tell him exactly when the time comes for it to be brought up. I still am not quite sure how to even dive into that entire experience." Sophia took a drink of her tea after finishing her hamburger, "Enough about me, how are you and Severide?" Sophia questioned. 
"We're really good." Stella smiled, "We are thinking about moving in together." Stella added and Sophia squealed with excitement, "We have been talking about it but we haven't quite decided yet what we're looking for in a house, so we sort of just pushed it to the back burner for the time being." 
"I'm so happy for you Stella! I think he's so good for you." Sophia grinned, leaning back into the seat, "Oh god, I can't tell if eating that food made me more intoxicated or more delirious." Sophia groaned, realizing that it was the lack of sleep doing it. 
"Well rest your eyes for a bit, we got about an hour left." Stella suggested looking towards the brunette, "It's fine Soph. You don't need to keep me company. It'll give me some time to annoy Kelly." Kidd commented. 
Sophia gave a nod and reclined the passenger seat just a little and rested her head against the head piece and closed her eyes, and before she knew it she was out cold. 
"Baby..." Sophia started to stir at the familiar voice, "Come on, open those eyes..." His voice was so gentle and quiet, causing Sophia to flutter her eyes open to see Jay Halstead in front of her. 
"You're here..." Sophia had commented lowly. 
"I told you I would be. Come on, let's get you inside and to bed." Jay ran a gentle hand across her cheek, then reached for her hand. Sophia had raised herself gently realizing her back was a little more sore because of the sunburn, and allowed Jay to help her out of the jeep. 
"Oh god..." Sophia groaned, "I need to shower." 
"Girl, I feel you." Stella agreed from the driver's seat, "I'll talk to you later Soph." 
"Bye Stella..." Sophia closed her eyes for a moment trying to focus her vision, "Oh wait my bags..." Sophia added as Stella began to drive off. 
"I already got them and put them upstairs." Jay chuckled wrapping his arm around her lower back, "Come on, I'll carry you." Jay added, "It looks like you're about to drop to the ground." 
"I feel like I'm about to drop to the ground." Sophia chuckled lightly, slightly squealing as Jay moved to lift her bridal style and carried her around the building to the side door that led to her apartment. 
"I wanna shower and then sleep for the next day." Sophia winced as Jay began to tread up the stairs, causing Jay to look at her in concern, "I got sunburnt yesterday, I'm a little sore." Sophia explained and Jay frowned a little as he reached for the door handle. 
"Here." Jay sat Sophia on her feet, "Go take a shower and get changed. I'm gonna go change into sweatpants." Jay commented as Sophia stumbled into the living room and towards the bathroom. 
Sophia had turned the shower on warm water, and stripped out of her clothes and let them fall to the floor. Noticing the tan lines, Sophia knew that this shower was going to suck tremendously, so she had decided to brush her teeth before setting pain to her skin. 
Once she had stepped into the shower and the initial pain had left she had turned the water a little warmer, and shampooed her hair, and then washed her body carefully, and then washed her face. She felt someone normal but was dead tired. After standing in the shower for a moment, she had turned the water off, grabbed a towel for her body and then a towel for her hair. 
Drying herself off carefully, Sophia had emptied her bladder, washed her hands and then headed into her bedroom to get dressed for bed. She had went to her drawers to grab a pair of panties and slipped them on, and then dropped the towel and Jay nearly gasped at how burnt she was. 
"Baby, do you have any aloe?" Jay questioned as he sat up in bed. 
"I'm not sure... the shower took the sting out of it, so it's not nearly as bad." Sophia had towel dried her hair before grabbing Jay's gray police shirt that was on the floor from him taking it off to get into bed, and slipped it on, and then tilted her head to put her damp hair in a bun, so it was out of her face. 
Climbing into the bed after turning on her fan, Sophia had stretched out her body and then curled up against Jay as he reached for the night stand lamp, and then wrapped his arms around her carefully. It didn't take long for the both of them to submit to the sleep they had been craving.
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jemej3m · 5 years ago
Text
a comprehensive set of rules (part 1)
light and breezy!! (this is not a b99 au)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
this is...long.
plot?????? what?????????
*
January:
“So you’re telling me,” Aaron repeated. “You’re pretty sure this guy is into some organised crime shit?”
Andrew made a noise, rolling over on his bed to press the phone between his ear and the pillow. Usually their calls were short and succinct, as was tradition ever since they departed from college - Andrew heading to Baltimore for policing academy and Aaron to Chicago for med-school - with Aaron doing most of the talking and Andrew occasionally humming in response.
Tonight Andrew was riddled with questions. Usually his moral compass was simple and easy to adhere to, but this was - to put it mildly - fucked. He didn’t care about authority, or loyalty to his police oath, but he couldn’t just screw a guy whilst suspecting him of murder. Or whatever Neil had gotten himself into.
You can’t talk, his own brain reminded him, so kindly, so gently. He made a scathing noise and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“A woman tried to kill him and talked shit about his family. You should’ve seen how bone-white he went at his father’s mention.”
“So - you’re just going to excuse him? On the basis of what, an inclination to murder is genetic?”
Sometimes it was genetic. Andrew almost laughed. Aaron heard the irony in his own words, too and grumbled out a low ‘Shut up.’
“He said he couldn’t date a cop, anyway.” Not that Andrew was interested in dating.
It did appear as though he and Neil was very incompatible: Neil didn’t do sex and relationships, was criminally inclined and had yet to text him since their disaster of a second date.
Andrew was only emotionally ready enough for casual sex, one-night-stands and loveless hookups, and didn’t exactly know whether or not he could ignore Neil’s background, seeing as every day he went in to work and interrogated perps with gang tattoos and blood still drying on their hands.
And yet.
Andrew still wanted to see Neil. See he was alright. Talk to him. Spend time with him. Andrew still wanted to try and set something up, something that’d benefit both of them, maybe a way that Neil could escape from his current life, a way for Andrew to get invaluable knowledge.
Andrew still wanted to try and have something with Neil. Not romantic. Not a relationship, or sex, or even friendship.
Just - something.
“That’s that, then.” Aaron said, unhelpful. “Nicky was all screechy about it on the phone. Said that the guy was cute. I bet he has no clue.”
“No,” Andrew agreed, making a mental note to check out ‘Allison’ and ensure his cousin was safe. “No clue at all.” He sighed, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. “It doesn’t matter. I doubt we’ll ever see each other again.”
*
February:
“Shit,” Andrew muttered as coffee dribbled down his vest. The taser tucked into its pocket made an odd sound, as though it were drowning or something. He fished it out and sighed: Kevin, another fresh-faced detective who seemed to think he had the right to criticise Andrew’s every move, wouldn’t let this go. Andrew seemed to always be needing new equipment, so much so that Kevin had decided to photocopy the request forms and pin them snootily to Andrew’s desk.
Andrew hated Kevin. Renee had forced him to be civil, though, and he trusted his partner enough to listen to her advice.
“Didn’t see you there,” came a familiar voice. Andrew’s head snapped up: canvasing the truly miraculous sight that stood before him. “So sorry.”
Neil’d had his haircut since Andrew had last seen him, but he bore purple shadows under his eyes, his skin pale and sickly. A hood was drawn up, the sweater too large on Neil’s wiry frame. His jeans were loose too. He was far from the well-dressed bad idea Andrew had gone on two dates with, just over two months prior.
“Come into this cafe, officer,” Neil said, voice flat. “There’s a bathroom.”  With that, he spun on his heel and marched back into the coffee-shop that he had no doubt been waiting outside of for Andrew to pass by.
Andrew followed silently, ignoring the lukewarm coffee that was dripping down his chest. There was a tiny bathroom with two cubicles, of which Neil somehow had the key for. He spun around and leant against the door, eyes dark.
“Neil,” Andrew said. “What the fuck?”
“I can’t be seen with you, or talking to you,” he managed, voice slightly raw. “Things are - not great, right now. I’m sorry I vanished.”
“You have to give me context,” Andrew insisted, stepping closer. “What the hell is going on?”
Neil shut his eyes. “If I promise you that I’ll explain everything, afterwards, will you help me?”
“I take my promises seriously,” Andrew warned.
Neil nodded weakly, wringing his fingers. “I know.”
Andrew sighed, taking some paper towel from next to the sink and patting himself dry. “What’s happening?”
Neil swallowed. “My father’s going to court, based on charges of tax evasion and money laundering.”
Andrew gestured for him to continue.
Neil hung his head. “I’m going to usurp him, him and his closest allies. I need a cop I can filter information through to, so that they can be locked up permanently. All five of them.”
“Someone once told me that they’d never be safe unless the threat was dead,” Andrew said, voice low. “You can’t fool me into thinking you just want them in jail.”
Neil had the audacity to look surprised, like maybe he thought Andrew wouldn’t remember. He’d learn to assume Andrew knew everything soon enough. “He has enough enemies that it’ll be taken care of, for me. Honest enough for you, officer?”
Andrew straightened out. “And when he and his crooks are gone? What then?”
Neil’s smile was almost sad. "Then I will take his place.”
“You could dismantle it entirely,” Andrew argued. “You don’t have to follow his footsteps.”
Neil just shook his head. “There are higher powers at work, Andrew. It’s my legacy: I have no choice." He in a shuddering breath. “If I could abandon it all, I would. I don’t want this life. I don’t want his name, or his smile, or his bloodthirst. I don’t.”
“Neil,” Andrew warned.
The man squeezed his eyes shut. “You know I watched him kill my mom? She didn’t want this life either. He was going to kill me too. Maybe he should have.”
“Neil.”
Andrew had the man’s chin pinched between his thumb and forefinger. He opened his eyes.
“I’ll help you,” Andrew said, against better judgement. “Tell me your name and I’ll help you.”
Neil’s swallow was constricted, weighted. He took out a tiny slip of paper and tucked it into Andrew’s pocket. “I'm still Neil.” His inhale was desperate. “I am still Neil.”
Andrew nodded slightly, stepping back and watching as the man unlocked the door and slipped out.
Slowly - carefully - Andrew unfolded the little piece of paper.
It was a business card, the logo embossed into the paper.
Nathan Wesninski and Co. it read, accented with gold.
*
March:
“How the fuck...” Dan said, flicking through the file. She, Wymack and Renee all sat opposite Andrew, peering over his work with trepidation.
Under a strictly Need-To-Know policy, Kevin was excluded for his previous ties to Riko Moriyama, who was the son of a yakuza boss (though that was not widely known). Matt was excluded on the basis of too many mouths to control, though Dan would probably fill him in. Seth was excluded because he sucked and Andrew hated him. That left his partner, his captain and his sergeant, all of whom were mildly shocked that Andrew had picked up such a large and intricate case independently.
“How did you find all this?” Dan demanded, recoiling from the contents of his file. Beside the many photographs laid a dried chunk of flesh in a sealed bag, of which DNA tests would confirm to be Mary Wesninski’s, who vanished over 14 years ago.  Neil said he’d cut it from the branching aorta of his mother’s heart, of which his father kept in a small container, alongside her tongue and eyes, seeing as his father would miss a whole organ, but not a chunk of the underside. He didn’t get his name the Butcher for nothing.
“Unless we have a weapon, or something with prints that connects Wesninski to that-” Wymack pointed to the piece of Mary’s heart. “It’s still circumstantial without your CI coming forward as a witness.”
“They will die,” Andrew said calmly. “I’ll keep working for a connection, but nothing about my CI gets published. Nothing.”
“Okay,” Renee agreed, smiling warmly as she rounded the table. She waited for his nod to drop a hand on his shoulder, rubbing small circles of warmth. “We’ll figure something out, Andrew.”
“I can’t believe we have a chance against Wesninski,” Wymack muttered, rubbing his temples.
“Not yet, we don’t.” Dan reminded him.
Not yet, Andrew agreed.
*
April:
Neil walked a slow circle around Andrew’s apartment, eyeing the windows and doors, the fire escape, the kettle, probably even the fucking toilet paper. Andrew watched as he toed off his shoes, pulled his sweater sleeves over his hands and finally joined Andrew in the living room.
“Got bored of figuring out the best point of exit?”
Neil scowled, settling on the couch beside him. “I shouldn’t be here.”
“Well, yours wasn’t exactly an option, was it?” 
Neil just drew his knees up to his chin, curling into a small ball on the couch. “The trial’s been set for late September.”
“I know,” Andrew agreed. 
“You haven’t brought any evidence to the prosecutor yet.”
“I haven’t.”
“Was what I gave not good enough?”
“No,” Andrew grimaced. “A chunk of Mary’s heart tells us she’s dead. Without prints, or a weapon, or DNA evidence surrounding her body, there’s no way to connect Nathan to her death.”
Neil winced, teeth biting into his lip. The minute rocking back and forth was beginning to get on Andrew’s nerves. “I can’t...I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”
“We’ll figure something out,” Andrew insisted. “We solve crimes for a living. There’s always an answer.”
Neil scoffed, body still shaking. “You’re probably aware of 20% of what goes on in this city.”
“So tell me the other 80.”
Neil stared. 
Andrew gestured vaguely. “The different gangs, the territory lines, shoot outs and brandings and who’s having an affair with who. I don’t care. Just talk.”
“What good is gossip?” Neil wondered aloud. 
“You’d be surprised,” Andrew said lightly, like this wasn’t completely for Neil’s benefit. He needed to get Neil out of his head. It looked like the man hadn’t sleep in weeks, his nails bitten down to the quick and body stiff with bandages. The fact that Andrew couldn’t help him much more than this - at least not now - was putting him through the wringer.  
“Fine,” Andrew huffed when Neil wasn’t forthcoming, getting off the couch. From under the TV he grasped a random DVD and shoved it into the player that Nicky had bought for him a few years ago. 
“What’s this?” Neil blinked, owlishly. 
Andrew just dropped back down onto the couch. “Do you trust me?”
Neil looked at him, eyes narrowed. 
Andrew reached out to push the long fringe away from Neil’s eyes. “Neil, do you trust me?”
“I...” he looked down to his hands. They slowly curled into fists. “I want to.”
Andrew tilted his chin up with the tip of his finger. For a moment there was nothing else, just blue and gold and fate and future. “Then believe me when I say I will find a way.”
Slowly, Neil nodded. 
*
May: 
“Dimaccio, Plank, and the Romero siblings,” Andrew leant on the table with his fists, the fies splayed out around them. “We lock them up, one by one. Nathan loses his circle, loses his security. He’ll put out the wrong foot without anyone else to fall back on.”
“Who should we start with, then?” Wymack inquired, letting Andrew steer this investigation down to the very last report signature. 
Andrew arched an eyebrow, momentarily recalling the jagged scars on the inside of Neil’s elbows. 
“She’d wanted to cut my tendons, once,” he said, before yanking down the sleeves again. 
“Ladies first,” he told Wymack, picking up the photo of Lola Malcom and pinning it right into the centre of their case-board.
*
June: 
Dimaccio snarled as he was lead away in shackles, hair shaved close to his skull. He was probably double Andrew’s height and width and had three police escorts shoving him into the back of a wagon. Across the back of his hand had been the characteristic X, the one Neil bore, the one Lola had worn too. 
Two down, three to go, Andrew thought, something like pride grinning wolfishly within his chest. These were only the bail hearings: proper convictions wouldn’t be till the new year. It didn’t matter: so long as they were locked up, Andrew could move forward. Wymack stood beside him, thumbs hooked into his belt loops. 
“Nice work, kiddo,” the chief acknowledged, shaking out a cigarette and gesturing to the exit. Andrew followed. 
Leaning against the courthouse’s sandstone exterior, Andrew stared up into the cloudless sky with an accusatory squint, till Wymack nudged him.
“Your phone’s ringing,” he muttered, cigarette drooping with ever syllable. 
Andrew fished out the burner that he always kept tucked into his back pocket. He flicked it open immediately: there was only one person who had this number. 
“Andrew,” Neil panted. “Thank god. Okay. Hi.”
“N -” Andrew glanced at Wymack before turning away. “What’s going on?”
“The chances of me being able to contact you from now on will be slim to none: with two of them gone, I have to step in.”
“Christ,” Andrew muttered, stubbing out his cigarette. “Where are you now?”
“Bathroom,” Neil muttered. “Some stupid event thing for his business front. I’m not who matters right now. Do you have family that’s traceable to you? A next of kin?”
“You’ve met Nicky and Erik,” Andrew said, suddenly cold all over. “My twin and his wife live in Chicago.”
“They should be alright,” Neil murmured. “But Nicky and Erik have to go. Can they win a flight overseas? I’ll wire you through money if you need it -” 
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll sort it out.”
“You need to be careful,” Neil insisted. “He’s going to come after you. That’s twice your name’s been on the front of the arrest records. I’ve sorted something out, okay?”
“Forgive me if that sounds less that appealing.”
Neil laughed weakly. “It’s not a pretty solution, but it’ll work. You have to keep working, and if I can’t keep interacting with you without blowing this whole thing over, then our only choice is...” 
“Allison,” Andrew muttered. “Jesus Christ.”
Neil hummed in agreement. “She’ll pick you up from yours in an hour. Be ready.”
“How does she know where I live?”
“Like she doesn’t track my every move, Minyard. She’s my accomplice. Gotta go, now. He’ll get suspicious.” 
Something twisted in Andrew’s throat. “Stay safe.”
Neil paused, then mumbled “You too,” and disconnected the call. 
Wymack was watching him with an arched brow. 
Andrew shrugged. “My CI’s quick.”
“Unpredictable asshole,” his boss muttered, shooing him off with a derisive flick of his fingers. Andrew saluted him as he departed, before twisting on his heel and jogging back to his car. 
*
“Guest room, guest bathroom, living room, kitchen, blah, blah.” Allison waved her hand around emphatically, her manicured nails glittering with rhinestones and pearls. They were probably real, if her apartment was anything to go by. 
Everything was white, grey or pink, aside from the dark-oak parquetry on her floors. The marble countertops were polished to sparkle, every device in her kitchen practically unused. It was Nicky’s dream penthouse. 
“It pays to murder, doesn’t it?” Andrew wondered when he’d inherited Neil’s loose tongue. 
The look Allison gave him was withering. “I don’t murder. I clean up.”
“Because complacency is so much better than participation.”
She rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe Nicky didn’t tell me you were a fucking cop. Would’ve never set you up on a date if I knew.”
“I’m going to have his father in max security by the end of the year,” Andrew reminded her. “Don’t make me abandon the case.”
She grinned. “You wouldn’t. He’s got you wrapped around his finger.” At Andrew’s glare, she waved him off. “Don’t worry: he’s just like that. I never said that I ain’t wrapped around his finger too. It’s impossible to not want to shield him away, wrap him in copious amounts of blankets, kiss his forehead and tell him it’ll be okay. I tried it once,” she grimaced. “It didn’t work.”
Andrew didn’t picture Neil, a mobster’s son, wrapped in blankets on Andrew’s couch, smiling (genuinely) as Andrew pressed a kiss to the corner of his eye. He did not picture that. He did not. 
“For what it’s worth,” Allison said, in a voice softer than Andrew thought she was capable of as she looked out the enormous windows that overlooked Baltimore’s busiest district. “I’m glad he trusts you. And I’m glad you’re helping us.”
“Don’t get sappy on me, Reynolds,” he pointed at her in warning. “I’ll lock you up too, if you give me a reason to.”
Her laugh was pearlescent, her grin cat-like. “Neil would scalp you before you could even say my full name. Don’t forget, Minyard,” she winked. “I’ve got him wrapped around my finger, too.”
*
this will continue in p.2 with july-december!! after that we’ll go back to our regularly scheduled softness and humour. i’ve already got another one-shot planned around kevin and neil.... :D
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markonasurface · 4 years ago
Text
things you said i wouldn’t understand
things you said but not out loud
Thea stared down at Neil. He looked confused but stepped aside to let her pass.
“He’s sleeping,” Nicky called over his shoulder.
She walked down the short hallway and let herself into their room. Nicky was wrong. Kevin sat precariously on the window, long legs dangling outside. He didn’t turn around.
“You gonna jump?” she asked and she had to grab his arm to make sure he didn’t actually fall out. There was a loud shattering noise that let her know her idiot boyfriend was indeed sitting on the edge of a top story window, drinking.
Kevin turned and slipped back into the room with surprising coordination. His eyes passed over her as he crossed to the dresser on the other side of the room and grabbed a half full bottle of - “Are you drinking vodka? At ten-thirty am on a Monday?”
He raised the bottle to his lips and took in a mouthful. He grimaced slightly, then leaned back against the dresser. “I didn’t know you were coming,” he told her with overcareful pronunciation. “When did you get in?”
“An hour ago. Wymack picked me up.”
Kevin drank again. She waited for him to say something. He drank again.
“It’s ten-thirty in the morning, Kevin.”
“You’ve already said,” he answered and drank yet again, pointedly this time.
This was a mistake, she thought but didn’t say. Instead, she turned and walked out.
Neil leaned against the doorframe ten minutes later and asked, “Is Thea okay?” Before Kevin could ask what he was talking about, he said, “She was pulled from the lineup 30 minutes before her game last night.”
Kevin shrugged and waited for Neil to leave before digging in his pocket for his phone. He had to plug it in and wait for it to get a decent enough charge for him to turn it on. He called his girlfriend but it went straight to voicemail.
He grabbed his computer and pulled up an internet browser, typing in her name. He read a few headlines.
Theodora Muldani Missing From Friday Night Lineup
Why Thea Didn’t Play
Muldani Missing in Siren’s Lineup, Food Poisoning to Blame?
Kevin tried calling her again but was once again sent to voicemail.
“Hey,” he said, voice quiet but firm. “I’m sorry about this morning. I just heard about last night though. Are you okay? Call me back.”
.
Kevin caught the ball and hurled it toward Jack. Jack missed it and Kevin immediately positioned himself in front of Dan’s path to steal it back. He ignored Jack’s shout of, “I’m open!” and fired at the goal from halfway down the court.
Renee missed it by half a centimeter.
Wymack called for a break.
One of the other freshmen complained about how many balls Jack missed this scrimmage. Jack took off his helmet and said, “We’re only three points down. I’m playing better than you.”
“And yet, Kevin is five shots in this morning and outplaying both of you so that’s not really saying much, is it?”
As he walked off the court, Wymack called his name. Kevin rubbed his forehead on his shirt sleeve and walked toward his father.
“Andrew’s just talking shit,” he said. “I haven’t had anything to drink this morning.” His pounding head was a constant reminder.
Wymack looked a little skeptical but said, “Great. If you’re sober, you can go pick up Thea from the airport.” He held out keys and Kevin stared at them.
“She didn’t tell me she was coming,” he said before he could stop himself.
“Twice in one month?” Nicky raised his eyebrows but kept walking.
“She said she’s texted and called you.”
Kevin went to change. After puking, showering, puking in the shower, dressing, taking a handful of ibuprofen, and downing a bottle of water, he left for the airport. Thea was waiting out front by the time he got there.
“Hey,” she said, leaning across and kissing him.
He held her hand as they drove back toward campus. “How long are you staying?”
“I’m going back in the morning,” she answered, her voice was soft. He shot her a look but she was staring out the window.
Thea was not a soft person.
“Are you just here to check on me or …?”
“Yeah,” she said. “You weren’t answering any of my calls or texts so I just needed to come see you.”
“Sorry,” he said. “My phone is dead and I just haven’t gotten around to charging  -”
“You look like shit.”
He gave her an amused sort of grimace.
.
They got to Fox Tower a little after three. As soon as she closed the door behind her, she grabbed his hand, forcing him to turn back to her. He closed the space between them and she leaned back into the door.
He looked into her eyes, then she watched as his eyes moved to her lips, then the tip of one of her Dutch braids that he was twisting between his thumb and pointer finger. When he looked into her eyes again, she pulled him in.
His hand moved to her hip, then slowly down her thigh as he quickly deepened their kiss. His body pressed hers into the door. His fingertips trailed under her dress and she lifted her leg so her knee was pressing into his hip.
.
He opened his mouth, breathing hard, hands still gripping the back of her thighs. He lifted her higher for a brief moment before letting her slide her feet back to the floor.
We need to talk, she meant to say.
"Again,” she told him instead, shoulder throbbing from where he’d just bitten her. She kissed him and guided him backwards until they reached the bedroom.
.
When he opened his eyes, Thea was staring at him. He closed his eyes again and breathed deeply. He kissed her shoulder where a bruise was forming and asked, “What time is it?”
“I don’t know,” she answered, sounding distracted.
His arm was over her waist and he pulled her closer so their chests were pressed together. He moved to kiss her jaw and she wanted to say again but she forced herself to say, “We need to talk.”
Kevin pulled away, looking displeased. Talking was his least favorite thing to do these days, mostly because whenever someone talked to him, they wanted to discuss his “drinking problem.”
So he was surprised when the next words out of her mouth were, “I’m pregnant.”
Only then did he realize neither of them had thought to use a condom today, though it was probably deliberate on her part because she already knew they didn’t need one. Kevin had been careless.
His eyes narrowed slightly and he sat up. “Pregnant? We haven’t since -”
“Riko’s funeral,” she reminded him, sitting up, too. “This baby was probably conceived in the same bed you lost your virginity to - what was her name? Lauren? Liv?”
Her tone was cold. Thea was trying to rile him. He didn’t bother correcting her.
“Maybe we should have that bed shipped to us -”
He tuned her out, trying to do the math in his head. Riko had died in April. His funeral was held in May. She was still talking but he asked, “What are you, seven, eight weeks along?”
“Something like that.”
“Have you been to a doctor? Does your team doctor know?”
“Of course not,” she hissed, looking offended.
Kevin considered the information he had. “Are you going to keep it?”
Immediately he knew he had said the wrong thing. Thea turned. “Am I going to keep it?”
“That’s not what I meant -”
“I’m the woman so of course it falls on me, right? I shouldn’t have told you.”
He grabbed her arm to stop her from climbing out of his bed. “Thea, that’s not what I meant. I-I-I -” His head was spinning. He felt himself start to shake. He needed a drink.
Thea pulled her arm out of his grasp and pulled the sheet higher. “I just told you I’m pregnant and you’re thinking about your next drink.”
He wanted to refute it but he didn’t want to be a liar.
“I’ve been patient,” she said, a tear slipping down her cheek. “After everything you’ve been through and not being able to tell anyone for so long. I’ve tried to be supportive even as you destroy yourself and try to push everyone away.
“I thought when I told you I was looking for an answer from you, a-a-a declaration, a promise?” She shook her head. “Now I know I should’ve taken care of this myself and left you out of it completely.”
He offered his hand but she didn’t take it. He shook his head at it. “Thea, I’ll promise you anything you want if you want this baby,” he said. When she looked away he huffed a short laugh. “That’s what I thought.”
“You wouldn’t understand. You don’t know how much harder women have to work. I train twice as much as the men on my team because if I don’t, coaches will think I’m not dedicated enough. I stop 73 percent more attempts at the quarter line than Thompson and he still gets paid twice as much as I do.”
Kevin never dared to interrupt Thea when she was making a point.
“I can’t risk throwing away my career in the hopes that you’ll stop drinking and you’ll be there for us.” A tear fell down her cheek. “Even if it upsets my parents or you, I don’t think I can have this baby.”
He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and shook his head. He wanted to tell her she had nothing to worry about, but he knew everything she was saying was true. He was a 21 year old alcoholic with so many traumas he hadn’t even tried to start processing. Even without his issues, he would never ask her to give up Exy.
Thea climbed down the ladder and pulled her dress over her head. When she opened the bedroom door voices carried in.
“No one wants you in this apartment,” Nicky said.
“I just wanted to see if Kevin wants to run some drills tonight,” came Jack’s voice. “Oh.”
Kevin opened his mouth but Thea walked out.
“Thea! Nice to see you -”
She pushed past Nicky and snatched her bra from Jack’s outstretched hand. She stooped to pick up her panties and Wymack’s car keys, slipped on her shoes and left.
She sat in the car for awhile, trying to stop crying.
.
Four weeks later
When she left practice, she was surprised to see Kevin leaning against her car. She heard some of her teammates whispering. Even in the pros Kevin Day was a big deal.
He straightened as she came near. She stopped in from of him, a hand on her hip.
She expected him to ask her if they could talk. Instead, he reached out and took her hand, eyes never leaving hers. Her eyes narrowed slightly but then she realized there was something in the hand he had taken hers with.
Slowly, she opened her hand so she could see what was there. On her palm was a round, red chip. She looked back at him, eyes slightly rounder and wet.
She moved her duffle bag around to her front and opened the side pocket. She removed the envelope and held it out to Kevin.
His eyebrows furrowed and she saw his fingers trembling a little as he opened it. He took out the photo, stared, the crease in his forehead getting deeper. She saw the moment it registered as he glanced back up at her face, a question in his eyes. She nodded.
When he grabbed her hand again, Thea felt the tears falling down her cheeks. He pulled her to him, his other hand coming around to cup the back of her head as he pressed his lips firmly to hers.
She heard some wolf-whistles as she fisted the front of his jacket in her hands, a mixture of relief and nerves fluttering around in her chest.
They pulled apart only for Kevin to pull her back in again. They would have to talk but for now the red chip said everything she need to hear.
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colbybrocksmolder · 5 years ago
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Lie Detector - Colby Brock x Reader (self-love issues)
“Mike! You’re next!” Sam yelled, Colby slapping him on the ass when he went to stand up.
“This is fucking terrifying” Mike laughed, his hands already sweating. You had recorded a few videos earlier but now you were just messing around. The lie detector operator slowly got him hooked up to the machine and your whole group started throwing questions at him.
“Which guy in the room would you date if you HAD to date one of them” you asked, Mike being one of your best friends, you loved messing with him. He looked around and considered his options.
“I can’t pick Kevin. He’s hung like a horse. I don’t think I could handle that” Mike quipped, everyone in the room busting out in laughter. “Honestly? I’d have to say Colby. It would be like having a pet cat. All you need to do is put on some good music, feed him, and give him cuddles.”
“Why is that so accurate?” Sam laughed.
“I’m offended you think Kevin has a bigger dick than me!” Colby dramatically argued.
“I don’t know! I’ve never seen your dick!” Mike laughed looking to you. “Is Colby hung like a horse or a cat?” He asked, expecting you to have an answer.
“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” You threw your arms up in defense.
“Wait, really?” Jake asked. “I thought you two were...well never mind then” he laughed. “I thought Colby had finally gotten the balls to...”
“Hey! Don’t insult my dick AND my balls!” Colby blushed and fake shoved Jake, not letting him finish his sentence.
Mike laughed “Can I be done with my turn?”
“Pick someone to go next” Sam told him.
“Y/n! Get your ass in the hot seat!” Mike called, your heart immediately starting to race.
“Do I have to?” You pleaded. “I’ll do anything not to be hooked up to that thing.”
“Don’t be a pussy!” Kevin called out.
“We all have to do it” Kat added.
“Fuuuuck.” You sat in the chair, trying to calm yourself.
“Okay, y/n. Who is the funniest person in the room?” Kevin asked.
“Mike. 100%.” You answered.
“True” everyone heard your answer confirmed by the lie detector operator.
“Awww, I feel all fuzzy inside” Mike said, making you laugh.
“Who is the most attractive” Sam asked.
“Everyone is attractive for different reasons” you argued.
“Fuck that, you have to pick” he argued.
“Colby” you answered, looking over at his cheeks turn pink.
“True”
Jake jumped right into the next question. “Would you sleep with anyone in this room?” He asked.
“No.” You answered, seeing a few confused faces.
“True”
“WHAT?” Kat stared at you. She knew you were in love with Colby, so she didn’t know how you managed to slide by on that one. “Hmmm...would you date anyone in this room?” She asked, trying to catch you in what she thought was a lie.
“No.” You answered confidently, seeing her mouth drop open.
“True”
“Damn. Either she’s a really good liar or she thinks we’re all gremlins” Kevin laughed.
“Am I done yet?” You asked, just wanting to get the fuck out of this apartment.
“One more” Mike said. “Would you rather LOOK happy and be wealthy and popular or BE happy and be poor and unknown.”
“I’d rather actually be happy” You answered.
“True” the operator said, moving to take the equipment off of you.
“Pick someone to go next” Sam reminded you.
“Colby” you answered, reaching for your bag and sliding on your shoes.
Colby stood up to head to the hot seat. “Where are you going?” He asked.
“I have to get going. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten” you answered, walking out the door and ignoring calls of your name.
Colby went to stand up, but he was already hooked up to the lie detector. “Is she alright?” He asked Kat.
“I think so.” She answered. “I’ll check on her in a little bit. I don’t want to bug her while she’s driving.”
“I’m mad I don’t get to ask you this in front of her, now” Jake smirked at Colby. “Are you in love?”
“No.” He answered.
“False” the lie detector operator said.
“Colbyyy” Jake said in a knowing voice.
“Yes” Colby sighed.
“True”
“Is the person here?” Sam continued.
“Not anymore” Colby looked towards the door with a sad look on his face.
“True”
“Why haven’t you asked y/n out?” Mike asked. “I honestly thought you guys were together.”
“You heard her. She doesn’t like me.” Colby answered, undoing the lie detector equipment himself. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Colby!” Kat ran after him. “I don’t know how she passed the lie detector, but I know she loves you. She’s told me. I’m just as confused as you are.”
“No one else got away with any lies, Kat.” Colby said, walking to his apartment and closing the door.
A full week had passed and nobody had heard from you. You had ignored messages, you had avoided social media, and you were definitely skipping Pizza Night tonight. The one thing you had done is listen to a voicemail that Colby had left you. And you regretted that.
“Hey, Y/n.” Colby sighed, already a few drinks in at Sam’s. “I know I haven’t seen you at all this week, but I still hoped I’d see you at Sam’s tonight. I know sometimes you just want to be alone and I’ve always respected that. I’m the same way, but come on...a week? Is the thought of me caring about you so fucking horrible? I don’t care if you don’t want to date me, but Jesus y/n...does our friendship not mean anything to you? You just left. Kat keeps trying to convince me you tricked that stupid machine but I know better than her. You aren’t a liar. That’s why you can’t answer my fucking phone calls.”
And with that, Colby hung up. He downed a few more shots and threw himself into the festivities that accompany Pizza Night.
“Colby, come on.” Mike was helping Sam by dragging Colby to his own apartment.
“I can walk on my own” he frowned at Mike.
“I know, buddy. I just wanted to walk with you.” Mike smiled over at him, knowing not to argue with a drunk friend.
“That’s so nice of you.” Colby smiled at Mike.
“You really went hard tonight” Mike teased him, setting Colby down on the edge of his own bed.
“Y/n hates me. Didn’t want to think about it anymore.” Colby answered, watching Mike take his shoes and socks off for him.
“Y/n doesn’t hate you.” Mike gave Colby a sad look.
“That’s what it feels like.” Colby answered. “It feels like the first time I convinced myself someone could maybe like me for me they ran away and deleted my number.”
“Colby, a lot of people like you for you.” Mike argued, helping him out of his jeans.
“Nope.” Colby insisted. “They like money, followers, parties, sex, popularity, attention...they like who I know...they like drama.” His ramble fizzled out.
“I’m offended.” Mike tried to lighten the mood, looking for a pair of sweatpants for Colby to wear. “I like you for your body and nowhere in there did you say anything about that.”
Colby genuinely chuckled at what Mike had said. “I don’t mean you. You’re my brother, brother. You’re one of the trusted few.”
“Glad to hear it.” Mike said, getting Colby into the sweatpants.
“You know the thought of asking her out terrified me.” Colby said.
“Why is that?” Mike asked, pulling Colby’s button up shirt off of his shoulders.
“Because she doesn’t need me, dude.” He said, letting Mike pull a t-shirt over his head and falling back on the bed. He snuggled into his bed and continued. “She doesn’t want more followers or fame or attention. She hates drama. She doesn’t let people buy her things or pay for her meals. I have nothing to offer her.”
Mike sat down on the bed next to Colby. “Isn’t that what we’re all looking for, though? We want to find someone who chooses us because they want to. Not because they need something.”
“Exactly.” Colby said, sadly. “And she didn’t choose me.”
Mike looked over at Colby and saw his eyes were closed. He pulled a blanket over his friend and left.
You heard banging on your door and flew out of bed to peek out your window. “Y/N! Let me the fuck in!” You heard Mike yell, followed closely by a “Sorry Mrs. Norris. I’ll be sure to watch my language from now on, I promise.”
You laughed a little, seeing the tiny elderly woman scolding Mike.
You opened the door and Mike walked straight in. “Come in, I guess?” You said, closing your door.
Mike sat on your counter, waiting for you to follow him. “What do I need to do to get you to talk to me? Do we need to get drunk? High? Go for a drive?” Mike asked, a blank expression on his face.
“What do you mean?” You asked.
“I want to pick your brain apart, because the Y/n I know wouldn’t have let tonight go down like it did.” Mike hopped off your counter looking mad.
You backed away a step. “What happened? Is everyone okay?”
Mike humorlessly laughed. “You don’t get to know that, y/n. Wanna know why? Because you weren’t fucking there.”
“Mike, I can’t.” You said, feeling your eyes well with tears. You tried to keep them from spilling over. “Every time I’m around you guys, I start to let myself think I belong there. Every time Colby asks me about my day or follows me around or pulls me to sit by him...I’m not going to let myself fantasize about something I’m never going to have.”
“Y/n.” Mike said softly, pulling you into his arms. “Why do you think you can’t have it?”
“Because I can’t.” You stepped out of Mike’s arms and walked back towards your room.
“I know you care about Colby.” Mike said, following you. “Why didn’t the lie detector catch that? It makes zero sense.”
“I said I wouldn’t date anyone in the room.” You crawled into your bed. “If I refuse to date anyone ever, that applies to the people in the room, yes?”
“Fuuuuuck” Mike sighed. He sat on your bed next to where you were laying down. “Why are you so afraid to let him in?”
“I’m fine by myself. It’s safer alone.” You tried to halt your tears, taking a deep breath.
“Y/n, if you always take the safe road you’re going to miss out on so much.” He said, shaking his head. He knew you struggled with letting people in, but he didn’t think it fucked you up as much as it did.
“If I live my little life in my little apartment with my little goals…I don’t have to starve myself or compete with anyone else.” Word started flying out of your mouth with little permission from you. “I don’t have to be the prettiest or the skinniest or the one with the best skin. I don’t have to worry about having the person I love wish I looked more like that girl he met at a party or be afraid to show off their average girlfriend. I refuse to be someone’s regret, Mike. I’m not going to waste anyone’s time. I’m better off by myself and he’s better off just skipping me instead of stressing out about letting me down easy when the next girl comes along.”
The both of you were silent. You were cried out and Mike was heartbroken for you. “Colby got hammered tonight.” Mike sighed. “He told me he was terrified to tell you how he felt because he knows you don’t need him…so if that was your goal, your message was heard loud and clear.”
“He called me” you whispered.
“And?” Mike prodded.
“He’s really mad at me.” Your voice caught in your throat.
“He’s not mad, Y/n. He’s heartbroken.” Mike so wanted to fix this for the two of you. “You know he doesn’t let anyone in either? He doesn’t think anyone is going to love him for him. Those are his words.”
“Everyone loves him, Mike.” You said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“That’s what I said, but he made a good point.” Mike tried to explain. “He comes with a lot of things that people want more than him. Fame and money and bullshit. The good news is that he thinks that you’re different. The bad news is that he thinks you don’t care.”
“I care too much.” You said quietly into your pillow.
“Well at least have the balls to tell him that to his face because he tried letting you in and you left. And that’s not fair. You’re so worried about keeping yourself safe that you’re hurting everyone that cares about you. You broke both of your hearts in the process of trying not to break your own.” Mike stood to leave.
“Where is he?” you asked, sitting up.
“Alone.” Mike shook his head. “I left his apartment unlocked so that Sam and Kat can check on him.”
You pulled your phone out and listened to his voicemail for the 100th time. “Can you drive me over there?” you asked, looking for your shoes.
“Why do you think I’m here?” Mike laughed, chucking one of your flip flops at you.
When you got to Colby’s apartment, Mike went and laid down on the couch. He had planned on coming back and crashing there regardless of whether or not you came. You ditched your shoes and walked into Colby’s room. He was curled into a ball, laying on his side. The stuffed animal you always teased him for having tucked against his chest. “Colby” you said, sitting down on the side of his bed. “Colby, wake up.” When he didn’t budge, you shook his shoulder and pulled the stuffed Koala out of his grip.
“Mike, I just want to sleep.” He said, rolling over to the other side of the bed, facing the wall.
“I’m sorry” you said, moving to lay behind him. You slipped your arm around his waist and hugged him to your chest. “We can talk in the morning.”
“Y/n?” he asked, holding your arms tight against him but not rolling over to face you.
“I’m sorry, Colby.” You softly said, trying not to break down in tears again.
Colby started mumbling something that sounded like “This is a dream. It’s just a dream.”
“Do you want me to go?” you asked, moving to pull your arm back.
Colby held your arm tight to his chest. “This isn’t a dream?”
“No” you answered, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.
Colby turned over to face you, seeing your face wet with tears. “Why are you crying?” he asked, leaning in to clumsily press kisses to both of your cheeks.
“That shouldn’t be your first question when I’m the one that fucked this up so badly.” You said, closing your eyes. “I’m so sorry.” You tried to calm your sobs.
“Y/n, I love you. I’m not going to stop loving you just because you fucked something up once.” He said, slipping his arms around you. “Come here.”
You moved to lay against Colby’s side. “I love you too, you know.”
“I don’t know if I can let myself believe that.” He said, his breath stuttering like he was afraid to speak. “I’m terrified that the second I believe it you’re gonna leave again.”
You sat up a bit so you could look him in the eyes, your hand moving to caress his cheek. “Colby, I’m just as scared as you are. I’m so so sorry I let you think I didn’t love you.” You leaned down to connect your lips, feeling his move against yours. “I promise I won’t leave again.”
Colby rolled the two of you over, his face hovered above yours. “Y/n, don’t promise me something you don’t mean.”
You could feel his breath against your face, his soft blue eyes set on yours waiting for your answer. You gently set your hands on either side of his face, speaking softly. “Colby, I am so scared. And I’m probably going to freak out a few times because I stopped letting people in a long time ago…but I promise you, I won’t leave.”
Colby let his weight gently rest against you as he captured your lips in another kiss. “Thank you for coming back.” He said, adjusting his body down the bed so he could cuddle his face into your soft chest. “It’s okay if you freak out, y/n. As long as you let me, I’ll be there to help you every single time.”
“That’s a big job you’re applying for.” You softly laughed, running your fingers through his hair.
“So?” He replied. “It’s the most important one I’ve got.”
“How did I get so lucky?” you said, dumbfounded by his words.
“It’s not luck.” He mumbled, slowly falling closer to slumber. “You’re worth it…I love you.”
“I love you too, Colby.” You felt him snuggle just a bit closer. “So much.”
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fairyoftbz · 4 years ago
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rêveur | b. jacob
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☕ pairing: (shy) pastry chef! jacob x fem! reader (with barista!kevin) ☕ word count: 4.2k (。_。) (oops i got carried away) ☕ genre: fluff, sort of slow-burn (more like jacob and the reader rejecting their feelings) ☕ tw: maybe some occasional swear words and one (1) mention of the reader’s ex but nothing too crazy.  ☕ synopsis: you find yourself always coming back to the café down the street where you absolutely loved the pastries and befriended the barista, but you’ll soon discover the culprit of your sweet tooth. ☕ a/n: gosh it’s long but i couldn’t stop myself writing for him 🥺 i’m just too soft for him. ☕ requested: yes! i hope it’s not too bad!
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No matter how hard you tried, the efforts you put to prevent you from coming back, you always found yourself going at the local café every single week. You didn’t understand if it was the atmosphere or the warmth of the place, but you always found yourself there. The fact that it was located just down the road gave you the excuse of hanging around there more often than you should.
You could be busy, studying for finals or hang out with friends, the café was always hidden in the corner of your mind. As soon as the street works ended, your neighbourhood became the most tranquil place you’ve ever lived in. All your neighbours were friendly and polite, sticking a little note in the lift to warn the other neighbours of a potential party or loud reunion, helping each other at any occasion. Some residents, including you, owned a pet, and you were grateful that none of them was a pain in the butt for the rest of the building. When you told your friends how quiet and different it was from your former apartment, they never believed you.
While some of them would have killed to study or sleep at a place like your current one, you always found yourself going back to this local café. This little, Japanese-like coffee shop became your new obsession over the months, randomly finding it once while you wanted to go to a flower shop at the end of this street. The employees were welcoming and caring, completely catching you off guard as you were used to going to Starbucks, where some baristas and waiters could use a good lecture about politeness and respect. In the small coffee shop, their goal wasn’t to make the most money possible, it was more to please people and make them discover new coffee or pastries flavours. Everything was homemade, and that’s what encouraged you to become their number one fan. The workers, especially one, started recognising you by dint of your regular appearances at the shop, remembering one of your visits.
“Morning Y/N! Caramel macchiato, as usual? Nothing else?” Kevin, the barista, greeted you with a smile, which you returned alongside with a nod.
This barista was a social butterfly, always striking up a conversation with everyone. And he didn’t care, he just kept going, even if the customers were rude or remained quiet. You were admiring because you were among the people that stayed reserved yet polite when he started talking to you, but his ease made you comfortable enough to joke and laugh with him, striking a conversation with him whenever you had the chance, quickly becoming friends over your many visits.
“Yes, please! I need a lot of caffeine today,” you murmured, and he sadly chuckled, understanding your great need for energy. “Rough night?” he asked, and you agreed again, chuckling as you realised how lame it was. “I assisted my dog being in pain while giving birth,” you explained, and the barista’s eyes widened, his mouth falling agape in excitement. “But that’s amazing! How many did she have?” he seized your credit card without even telling you the price of your purchase - in his defence, you were so used to coming here that you knew the price of your order by heart by now - and typed on his screen, closing the cash register in a slam as it randomly opened.   “She gave birth to four healthy puppies, they’re so adorable,” you replied, and the man in front of you smiled as brightly as you were.
“Those are great news! Oh, by the way, would you like to have a taste of the discovery of our pastry chef? You should have seen how happy he looked when he finished the batch this morning,” he explained, and you followed him to the window display, indicating with his finger what resembled a mille-feuille. “That looks nice, I’ll have one, then,” you stated as you were to hand him your credit card again, which he hesitantly took before looking at the back office. You asked him if something was wrong, but he shook his head with a smile and gave you a tray with your drink and the pastry. “Have a great day Kevin!” you thanked him while he washed his hands, head turning to you before shooting you a friendly wink. “You too, Y/N! And you can always tell me if you need someone to take one of the puppies, I’ll gladly adopt one. I only have to talk with my girlfriend first,” your eyes turned into crescent moons filled with joy at his words, and you lifted your thumb excitedly. He quickly waved before serving the next customer, his signature undying smile plastered on his face.
Comfortably sitting down at an empty table, you took off your coat and gulped a sip of your drink, your mouth salivating at the sight of the food. Grabbing the fork, you slid it against the pastry and brought it to your mouth, the sugary taste melting against your tongue. You ate more and more until you finished, almost tempted to go back to Kevin and ask him for another one. But you ignored your love of good food and started getting to work, getting a book and your computer out of your bag, touching up your project that you had spent a lot of time working on. It was one of the last things you had to do for university, and you were delighted to get it done to finally move on.
“Is everything okay?” You recognised the voice of your favourite barista, smiling as you watched him clearing your tray. “Yeah, thanks! Actually, can you tell the chef that it was amazing? I loved how incredible it tasted,” you explained, and Kevin smiled brightly, nodding. “I promise I’ll do it. Jacob gets so happy when he receives recognition, I’m sure it’s going to brighten his day,” nodding at you, he took your empty tray back to the counter.
Quickly saving your paper on your computer, you turned your head to the side to stare at the barista, smiling as you noticed him disappearing in the back as he called his friend’s name.
“Jacob!” Kevin spoke as he wiped his wet hands on his apron, his friend slightly flinching as the voice filled the silence he was used to working in. “Are we out of something?” the baker worriedly asked, and Kevin shook his head, a chuckle escaping from his mouth. “No, no, I’m just doing my job, being a messenger,” Jacob slightly frowned and stopped spreading yolk on the biscuits. “One of my friends, Y/N, came and ate the mille-feuille you made this morning. She said that it was excellent, and she wanted me to tell you,” Kevin explained, and the baker blinked a few times, the tip of his ears getting progressively red as he processed his friend’s words. “Thank you, I appreciate it,” the baker replied with a smile, peeking out of the back office to try and get a look at the customers. “Is she still there?” he asked, and Kevin peered closer, shaking his head as your seat was now found empty.
Jacob nodded and went back to work, a bit disappointed to not have been able to see you, hence the pout forming onto his face, but he was touched that someone complimented him on his skills. Of course, it was his job after all, but it always felt nice to receive compliments and validation that what you do is fantastic. Jacob wasn’t the most confident person in the world, so your words only brought him the daily dose of happiness and the credits he deserved.
You came back the next week, the atmosphere of the café had changed into something quite hectic, almost stressing you out when you came here to relax and chill out from your day at uni. Now that your project was done and submitted, you had some hours to kill before meeting up with some friends. Without even noticing, you arrived in the middle of rush hour, people jostling one another to get some pastries or a quick coffee before going back to work. You had to put back into place a businessman that tried to overtake you to place his order, feeling your heart hammering in your chest while doing so. The excuse of being in a rush didn’t persuade you, riposting that you also had to go somewhere so he went back behind you, breathing out of frustration to make you feel guilty, but it didn’t work. You only rolled your eyes and waited, smirking to yourself as the man behind you gave up and left, cussing.
A hand settled the pastries in the window display in a rush, people massing together to decide on their order. Kevin was all over the place but still an angel, a tired yet bright smile adorning his face. Once it was your turn, a man walked behind your friend and recognised the thin hands that placed the pastries in front of you a few minutes earlier. “Jacob? We ran out of chocolate chip cookies, we need a new batch asap, bro. We’re selling them like hot cakes.Y/N, hi, the usual?” Kevin said, and you looked up at the name, the baker stopping in his tracks and nodded, a tired look on his face. Kevin seized the opportunity to grab a chocolate croissant from the tray his friend was holding, wrapping it in a napkin.
Your eyes connected with Jacob’s for a second, his light brown pupils holding something warm and gentle towards you. He wiped the flour off his apron before quickly looking back at you, pushing the strands of hair away from his eyes before replacing his baker cap. He looked in great need of sleep, the bags under his eyes enhancing the empathy you had for him. He was handsome and adorable at the same time, your heart not being able to choose what side to fall for. The baker tiredly nodded at his friend’s request and disappeared, hearing him hastily get back to work.
“Oh uhm, yes, please,” you stammered, and Kevin smirked, humming in agreement, and typed on his screen. You shyly cleared your throat as your friend probably understood your train of thoughts since you weren’t so discrete in observing the baker, but thankfully, he didn’t raise it.
Once the rush hour had calmed down, and the coffee shop quieted down again, just like it was when you came last time, Kevin took his break with Jacob. The manager took over, leaving the two employees time to take a much-needed break and breathe for a while, gathering enough energy to make it to the end of the afternoon.
“It was her that complimented your mille-feuille,” Kevin revealed as he motioned to your table with a nod, where you were happily calling a friend and munching on the pastry the barista had placed on your tray.
Jacob followed his friend’s finger, and an honest, tired smile emerged on his face when he noticed how bright and sunny you looked. You looked so soft and nice to have around, making the baker wonder how it was to have a conversation with you. Eyes turning into crescent moons as you laughed at one of your friend’s joke, you failed to notice the employee looking in your direction, his colleague observing him out of the corner of his eye while sipping his iced americano.  
“She’s pretty, right?” Kevin mumbled, but Jacob didn’t hear him. “What did you say?” The pastry chef mindlessly asked, gaze trailing on your figure. “Y/N. She’s pretty, don’t you think?” Jacob’s eyes widened and stared back at his friend, who was giggling. “It’s okay, I’ll keep it a secret,” the barista nudged his tired friend in the ribs, finishing his drink. “You better,” his colleague finished his coffee, throwing the paper cup in a bin before going back to work, leaving a chuckling Kevin behind. “Why do I feel like cupid out of a sudden?” the barista mumbled to himself, a smirk appearing on his face as he stood up and went back inside.
The next week, as you hung around, you felt the same way of tension as soon as you stepped into the café as last time. Jacob was surprisingly serving customers, juggling between the coffees and the pastries baking in the back office. “H-hi!” you greeted Jacob, and he slightly froze at your word, greeting you with a bright smile. You were surprised when he didn’t even ask for your order, getting straight to work and wishing him a nice day as you walked to your usual seat. However, as you took your first sip, you felt your stomach churn and a disgusting taste landing on your throat. Shivers travelled down your spine as you swallowed the bitter liquid you recognised that belonged to the iced americano. A wave of memories invaded your mind as you remembered how terrible it tasted once you took a sip from your ex’s drink, who was addicted to this type of beverage.
Jacob got your order wrong, and you swallowed thickly several times, pondering if it were a good idea to add more stress to the poor baker’s shoulders by pointing at his mistake, but you couldn’t bring yourself to drink this no matter how hard you tried. You stood up and walked to the side of the counter, waiting for the people to get served before you caught the baker’s attention. You started to calmly explain the uncomfortable situation you were in to the barista, his ears became bright red as another customer came and seemed to have your drink in your hand. The customer got extremely mad as he was apparently in a rush, yelling and cursing at the baker.
“You are paid for doing this, how could you make an order wrong? It’s not that difficult!” the man exclaimed, and you noticed Jacob’s eyes darkening. You knew that he wanted to talk back to the customer, but he didn’t plan on getting fired, so he just listened and nodded. “Jacob, don’t worry I can wait, serve him first,” you said before walking back to the table after offering him a smile, noticing him nodding again and take the two drinks that you and the other man laid on the counter.
The baker cleared his throat as he arrived a few minutes later with your correct order and a slice of chocolate cake.
“I’m sorry for giving you the wrong order. I am the only one here because Kevin is on holiday and my manager was supposed to come, but he left me in the lurch. So… I’m a bit stressed out,” Jacob explained quickly, earning a reassuring smile from him. He swallowed thickly but felt a wave of relief crash onto him as you didn’t look mad at all.  “It’s okay, Jacob, it’s human to make mistakes. If it were another drink, I wouldn’t have said anything but I really can’t drink strong coffee. Thank you for the pastry, and uhm… good luck for today?” you said as he stood up, his tired eyes shining with thankfulness as he got back behind the counter. You quickly enjoyed your food and left after trying to wave at him timidly, but sadly, he didn’t notice you.
When you visited the café on the other days, he disappeared again in the back office, Kevin taking back the lead. There, with your caramel macchiato in hand, you started daydreaming about the pastry chef, his dreamy hands and beauteous face. You imagined romantic dates and activities you could do together, such as baking you new pastries before offering them at the coffee shop or even spending a day at the park together, a lost yet gentle smile on your face.
Everything about him made you dream. He exuded comfort, fondness, and warmth, his eyes always pearly with delight. Even a blind man would not have missed how amazing and passionate he is when it came to baking. You once overheard a conversation between him and Kevin, talking about a new receipt he found on the internet and how excited he was to try it out. His soft voice never failed to make you smile, his fluffy hair making you wonder how soft it was and how good it’d feel if you carded your fingers through his locks as you hugged him.
It was undeniable and inevitable, you had tried to deny those feelings during the past few weeks, but you couldn’t reject the fact that you had a massive crush on Jacob. Kevin gently teased you about this when his friend appeared, making sure to say his name aloud to catch your attention when you sat at a table, only to watch him quickly find a hiding place. You also wished you would see him more often, feeling quite defeated to see him escape your gaze as soon as he saw you. With the number of times you came to the coffee shop and saw your friend, your crush’s brief appearances weren’t enough to fulfil your little heart’s happiness. You wanted more of him, but, much to your dismay – and secretly Jacob’s – you didn’t know what to do.
“Ah Y/N! I talked with my girlfriend today, and I was wondering if I could adopt one of the puppies? I showed her the pictures you sent me, and she is all over the moon for this one,” Kevin said as he placed your order on the tray, quickly getting his phone out after checking whether some customers were waiting or not. “Yeah, no problem!” you smiled as you recognised the crazy, adventurous one. “I asked the vet, and he told me that they are old enough to be adopted. Is it okay if you come with your girlfriend within the next few days? I can’t wait for you to have one, they are precious!” you exclaimed but calmed instantly, heart hammering in your chest as your lovely baker appeared from the back office, visibly in a bad mood. He didn’t even glance at you, his attitude sent a pang in your heart, but Kevin just shook his head, winking at you. “Can we come tonight to your place? I’m excited to meet my future baby boy!” Kevin made sure that his friend heard, noticing that he was listening carefully yet discreetly, hence his movements coming suddenly to a halt. The barista gave you a knowing smile and kept on chatting with you as if nothing happened.
That night, someone knocked at your door, and you excitedly walked to the main entrance, happily greeting the couple, and welcoming them in, eyes widening as Jacob had tagged along.
“What a great surprise!” you awkwardly mumbled, and he nodded, his smile outshining the sun as you let them all inside. Kevin and his girlfriend were quick to follow the yaps of your dogs to her newborns, leaving you with Jacob, who was quick to grab your wrist gently to make you stay with him. You mindlessly smiled, but deep down, you were sure that Kevin did this on purpose.
“I couldn’t help but hear your conversation with Kevin, and I’ve always loved dogs, and since yours gave birth, I wanted to see them,” he explained, and you smiled, heart hammering in your chest. “Yeah no worries, you are welcome here! Let’s go see them before they steal all the puppies.” 
With Jacob on your heels, you went to the spare room that became your dog’s nursery, the couple already cooing at the black puppy as you slowly opened the door.
“Look how proud she is,” his girlfriend said, looking at you with twinkling eyes. Your dog walked up to you, tail wagging as she got all the attention on her and the puppies. Since your dog only allowed you to reach inside the box, you were quick to lift the only black puppy out of the four and placed it in your friend’s arms. “I named him Squishy, I had no inspiration for the names,” you giggled as Kevin pet its belly, the puppy trying to lick his finger.
You brought everyone to the living room, where you offered your guests some drinks and started talking together. Your friend’s girlfriend was adorable, over the moon with the dog, just like Kevin had predicted it. Jacob was more on the reserved side, just like at the café, your dog climbing up the couch to rest her head on his thigh, asking for caresses. You felt a sense of betrayal rushing through your veins as she preferred a perfect stranger over you, retrieving her head every time you tried to pet her. Your dog looked at you almost with a mocking look, as if she wanted to show you that she dared to go up to him, unlike you.
It was getting late, but you were having fun, the couple confirming that they adopted the puppy. You helped packing everything necessary for the puppy and got ready to leave, thanking you for your kindness and hospitality. You were happy but felt a bit sad that someone already adopted one of the puppies. It was hard not to get attached to those cute little creatures, but you were reassured that he’d be treated like a king by living with your friends.
Jacob, on the other hand, was stuck on the couch as your dog prevented him from doing the slightest movement.
“She is quite stubborn,” Jacob shyly giggled as he tried to move his leg, only to have the dog whining and yapping. “Luna, stop! Let Jacob go, now!” you walked up to the couch, and she fled, strolling away from you each time you tried to get closer to her.
After many unsuccessful attempts, you managed to lure her into the nursery, shutting the door shut and she barked, but the apartment was quick to fall in silence.
“Finally,” you said as you went back to the living room, where Jacob was quietly admiring the photos on the wall. He gave you a quick smile and went back to his observations, you standing next to him with a slightly embarrassed smile. “It was nice to come here, but I’ll still reconsider my choices. I don’t want to decide on a whim, I wanna make sure that I’m settled and ready to welcome a puppy.” You nodded at his words, throwing him a reassuring gaze. “I completely understand, Jacob. You can take all the time you need. I’m planning on keeping one anyway, so if you change your mind, you can always come and visit,” you said, and an awkward silence installed around you two, Jacob scratching his neck as he avoided your gaze.
“Y-you know. I enjoy… what you bake, really, and I can’t wait for your next pastries,” you shyly mumbled to the man in front of you, who looked up with red adorning his cheeks. “I’m touched by what you’re telling me, thank you so much,” he said and quickly looked outside before inhaling and turning back to you.
“I’m going to go, but… I was wondering Y/N… y-you know, you’ve been friends with Kevin for a while and come around the café regularly, so I was wondering if we could also hang out, but you know… only the two of us? Maybe without Kevin?” Jacob was finding his words, thickly swallowing as he tried his best to tell you what he wanted. You giggled at the way he said things, imagining Kevin on his own while you were together. “Sure! Sure thing! You probably have a hectic schedule, but we can find something that works for the two of us?” you suggested, and he smiled, taking out his phone from his jeans pocket, holding the device with a nervous grip.
“Can I get your number, then? It’s gonna be easier to communicate rather than you coming around the café all the time. I- It’s not what I mean though, I really like having you around the shop, but you know, it’d be easier for the two of us,” you both shyly giggled as he messed up, the tip of his ears glowing bright red.
You were quick to enter your number in a new contact, confirming it before returning the phone to its owner, who gave you the warmest smile you had ever seen on his face.
“I’ll call you tomorrow then,” Jacob said as you walked him to the door, him thanking you just like your friends did. “Drive safe,” you whispered, and he nodded, giving you a soft smile before getting closer to you and softly pressing his lips on your cheek.
Your eyes widened at the sudden display of affection but smiled, feeling a wave of embarrassment invading your body. You waved at him until the elevator arrived, closing the front door with your heart pounding in your chest, doing a little dance of joy in the corridor as something concrete was starting to form between the two of you.
And the best was still yet to come. ♡
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