#'all of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings'

[sweetearthandnorthernsky]

"dust and ashes" from natasha, pierre and the great comet of 1812 is THEEEE gale dekarios song.

[granma-sweetie]

hey did you know that all of my life i spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings now at the end all i know that i've learned is that all that i know is i don't know a thing so easy to close off place the blame outside hiding in my room at night so terrified all the things i could've been but i never had the nerve life and love, i don't deserve so alright alright i've had my time close my eyes let the death bells chime bury me in burgundy i just don't care nothing's left i looked everywhere is this how i die was there ever any other way my life could be is this how i die such a slough of feelings inside of me but then why am i screaming why am i shaking oh god, was there something that i missed did i squander my divinity was happiness within me the whole time

[bumbling-a-bee]

Is this how I die💀?

Ridiculed😂 and laughed🤣 at

Wearing clown🤡 shoes👞

Is this how I die👻?

Furious😠 and reckless🤪

Sick🤢 with booze🥃

How did I live🧍‍♂️?

I taste😋 every wasted🗑️ minute⏱️

Every time🕢 I turned↩️ away

From the things that might🤷‍♀️ have healed🩹 me

How long⏰ have I been sleeping😴?

Is this how I die⚰️?

Frightened😨 like a child👶

Lazy😒 and numb🥶

Is this how I die☠️?

Pretending🎭 and preposterous😤

And dumb🤐

How did I live🥺?

Was I kind🧎‍♀️ enough and good😇 enough?

Did I love❤️ enough?

Did I ever look up⬆️ and see the moon🌝 and the stars✨ and the sky🌌?

Oh, why😫 have I been sleeping🛌?

They say🤫 we are asleep🥱 until we fall🍂 in love👨‍❤️‍👨

We are children🧒 of dust and ashes⚱️

But when we fall🌠 in love👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 we wake up🤸

And we are a god⛪ and angels👼 weep😭

But if I die💀 here tonight🌙

I die👻 in my sleep😴

All of my life🧬 I spent searching🔎 the words📖 of poets🖊️ and saints🙏 and prophets🗣️ and kings🤴

Now at the end🔚 all I know🤯 that I've learned🤓 is that all that I know is I don't🙅‍♂️ know a thing🤥

So easy to close🚪 off

Place the blame outside🌄

Hiding🙈 in my room🛋️ at night🌜

So terrified😬

All the things🤺 I could've been👨‍🏫

But I never😔 had the nerve😢

Life🛐 and love💟, I don't deserve🚫

So alright🙋‍♂️!

Alright🧍‍♂️!

I've had my time🕰️

Close😌 my eyes👀

Let the death☠️ bells🔔 chime!

Bury⚰️ me in burgundy🟥

I just don't care💁‍♀️!

Nothing's left☹️

I looked👀 everywhere!

Is this how I die👻?

Was there👉 ever any other way🛣️ my life could be🤔?

Is this how I die💀?

Such a slough of feelings🥴 inside of me

But then why🤷‍♀️ am I screaming🗣️?

Why am I shaking😵?

Oh god💒, was there something🤔 that I missed🔍?

Did I squander💸 my divinity😇?

Was happiness😊 within me💁‍♀️ the whole time⌛?

They say🤭 we are asleep🥱 until we fall🍃 in love👰

We are children👧 of dust🌪️ and ashes🌬️

But when we fall☄️ in love💕 we wake up☝️

And we are a god🧚‍♀️ and angles🕊️ weep😢

But if I die💀 here tonight🌝

I die☠️ in my sleep🛌

They say we are asleep💤 until we fall☄️ in love💗

And I'm so ready😼

To wake🥱 up now

I wanna wake😃 up

Don't❌ let me die☠️ while I'm like this😰

I wanna wake up🆙

God😇, don't let me die👻 while I'm like this😠

Please🥺 let me wake😪 up now

God👤, don't let me die💀 while I'm like this

I'm ready☑️

I'm ready😁

To wake up⬆️

[luxlightly]

I am BEGGING the Ultrakill fandom to consider the song "Dust and Ashes" for Gabriel during his introspection sequence after 6-2. It's a little long but it's worth the listen I promise. The basic premise is someone, at what may be the end of their life, looking back to realize they never took the chance to live and to love and coming around to finally find a desire to truly live. I wanted to grab a few lines to put here but literally every one fits so well that I'm just going to post the whole lyrics under the cut:

Is this how I die? Ridiculed and laughed at Wearing clown shoes Is this how I die? Furious and reckless Sick with booze

How did I live? I taste every wasted minute Every time I turned away From the things that might have healed me How long have I been sleeping?

Is this how I die? Frightened like a child Lazy and numb Is this how I die? Pretending and preposterous And dumb

How did I live? Was I kind enough and good enough? Did I love enough? Did I ever look up And see the moon And the stars And the sky? Oh why have I been sleeping? They say we are asleep Until we fall in love We are children of dust and ashes But when we fall in love we wake up And we are a God And angels weep But if I die here tonight I die in my sleep

All of my life I spent searching the words Of poets and saints and prophets and kings And now at the end all I know that I’ve learned Is that all that I know is I don’t know a thing

So easy to close off Place the blame outside Hiding in my room at night So terrified All the things I could have been But I never had the nerve Life and love I don’t deserve

So all right, all right I’ve had my time Close my eyes Let the death bells chime Bury me in burgundy I just don’t care Nothing’s left I looked everywhere Is this how I die? Was there ever any other way my life could be? Is this how I die? Such a storm of feelings inside of me?

But then why am I screaming? Why am I shaking? Oh God, was there something that I missed? Did I squander my divinity? Was happiness within me the whole time?

They say we are asleep Until we fall in love We are children of dust and ashes But when we fall in love we wake up And we are a God And angels weep But if I die here tonight I die in my sleep

They say we are asleep Until we fall in love And I’m so ready To wake up now I want to wake up Don’t let me die while I’m like this I want to wake up God don’t let me die while I’m like this Please let me wake up now God don’t let me die while I’m like this I’m ready I’m ready To wake up

[redwinesupernova]

all of my life i spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings now at the end all i know that ive learned is that all that i know is i dont know a thing..

[medievalthymes]

Hi Sarah! All I know is that you are the only beautiful, aesthetic, classic literature, sometimes musical theatre girly that I follow so you're the first person I thought of to ask this question (which is not time sensitive and is zero pressure lol). It's really just curiosity, but have you ever read War and Peace and do you know if Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 is a good adaptation? I'd be happy to hear your thoughts on literally anything honestly. I've been obsessively listening to musical soundtracks at work which is really dumb because that means I'm near tears every 5 minutes. Someone might notice soon, my face is expressive lmao. But Josh Groban is sick and twisted for Dust and Ashes so I can't help it 😭😭🖤

I have not read war and peace (yet) BUT I LOVE THE GREAT COMET DJSJSHHSBS

my uni doesn’t do grad caps for graduation but if they did I would have 100% put “All of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings/Now at the end all I know that I've learned is that all that I know is I don't know a thing" on it because it’s so in synch with a history degree lmao. I need a tgc revival IMMEDIATELY or at least a proshot release. The fact that it ended so soon is my Roman Empire, knowing it never got big enough to make its way to Toronto so I could see it 😭😭😭dust and ashes is so good josh groban did not need to go that hard

[joprompts]

natasha, pierre and the great comet of 1812 lyric starters. *starters from the 2021 movie. adjust as necessary.

god, don’t let me die while i’m like this!

there's a war going on out there, somewhere.

you are at the opera.

i can hurt you.

they say you can see your future in the long row of candles, stretching back and back and back into the depths of the mirror. in the dim confused last square, you’ll see a coffin or a man. everyone sees a man.

one thing i beg of you, consider me your friend.

i know you might just run away.

i will stand here, right outside your door.

if you ever need help, or simply to open your heart to someone, not now, but when your mind is clear, think of me.

these dresses suit you.

i know you so well, my friend.

what am i to do if i love him and the other one too?

don't speak to me of that when i tell you that i am madly, madly in love with you! is it my fault that you're enchanting?

did you love that bad man?

you don't know what love is.

i will stand in the dark for you.

don't lower your eyes. i love you. i am in love, dear. i am in love.

is this how i die? was there ever any other way my life could be?

i wish i were there, with death at my heels.

none of us are great men we're caught in the wave of history. nothing matters. everything matters. it's all the same.

i pity you.

i pity you, i pity me, i pity you.

i have no friends. no, never go anywhere, never invited.

i must love you or die. if you love me, say yes and i will come and steal you away, steal you out of the dark. i want nothing more. just say yes.

now, you know we love one another.

what am i to do? who do i ask for help?

i am betrothed i love another.

i love you, trust no one but you..

was happiness within me the whole time?

they say we are asleep until we fall in love and i’m so ready to wake up now.

bury me in burgundy i just don’t care.

will i ever be anyone's wife?

but then why am i screaming? why am i shaking?

i will kill him one day.

we won't speak of it anymore.

i know you are capable of anything.

he spends his money on women and wine.

the war can't touch us here!

the rudeness of that man! i'll straighten him out.

all is over for me.

first time i heard your voice, moonlight burst into the room.

i know they'll like me. everyone has always liked me!

how goes the war?

i’ll take you where you must go.

do you struggle too?

keep drinking, old man!

it means that you are kind, noble and splendid and i could not help loving you.

i'm so frightened. i don't understand anything tonight.

vodka and wine are dangerous for me, but i drink a great deal.

it's dawned on me suddenly and for no obvious reason that i can't go on living as i am.

you empty and stupid, contented fellows, satisfied with your place.

i sit at home and read.

don't speak to me like that. i am not worth it.

i will make love to her!

all the things i could have been but i never had the nerve.

but i can't bear this waiting.

how else could we have kissed?

you can't love her!

drink with me, my love, for there's fire in the sky and there's ice on the ground. either way, my soul will die!

we were angels once, don't you remember?

you're hurting my hands!

do you hear what i'm saying or not?

but it’s not nice to enter a family against a father’s will.

i see nothing but the candle in the mirror, no visions of the future, so lost and alone.

just as a duck is made to swim in water god has made me as i am.

i'm different from you! i'm different from you! i still want to do something!

from the things that might have healed me how long have i been sleeping?

all of my life i spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings and now at the end all i know that i’ve learned is that all that i know is i don’t know a thing!

bring me my slippers!

did i ever look up and see the moon and the stars and the sky? oh, why have i been sleeping?

i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.

i'm married but not in love.

but if i die here tonight, i die in my sleep.

i used to love, i used to love, i used to be better.

where to now? where can i go now?

i've aged. i've aged so very much. i fall asleep at the table, my napkin drops to the floor.

there's a ringing my head.

god, to think i married a man like you!

you dirty, nasty wench of a thing.

gonna drink tonight.

how did i live? was i kind enough and good enough? did i love enough?

here's to the health of married women and their lovers!

i feel like putting my arms round my knees and squeezing tight as possible and flying away.

i shall never be happy again!

there's a sickness in the world and everyone knows, but pretends that they don't see.

i used to be better.

i forget things and live in the past.

if i were not myself but the brightest, handsomest, best man on earth and if i were free—i would get down on my knees this minute and ask you for your hand and for your love.

i challenge you.

i will protect your name and your heart because i miss my friend.

is this how i die?

they say we are asleep until we fall in love. we are children of dust and ashes. but when we fall in love, we wake up.

[destielgaysex]

All of my life i spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings. Now at the end all I know that I've learned is that all that I know is I don't know a thing

[leninisms]

all of my life i spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings and now at the end all i know that i’ve learned is that all that i know is i don’t know a thing

[transsexualprophet]

all of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings and now at the end all I know that I’ve learned is that all that I know is I don’t know a thing so easy to close off place the blame outside hiding in my room at night so terrified all the things I could have been but I never had the nerve life and love I don’t deserve so all right, all right I’ve had my time close my eyes let the death bells chime bury me in burgundy I just don't care nothing's left I've looked everywhere is this how I die was there ever any other way my life could be is this how I die such a storm of feelings inside of me but then why am I screaming why am I shaking oh god was there something that I missed did I squander my divinity was happiness within me the whole time they say we are asleep until we fall in love we are children of dust and ashes but when we fall in love we wake up and we are a god and angels weep but if I die here tonight I die in my sleep they say we are asleep until we fall in love and I’m so ready to wake up now I want to wake up don’t let me die while I’m like this I want to wake up god don’t let me die while I’m like this please let me wake up now god don’t let me die while I’m like this I’m ready I’m ready to wake up

[stunfiskz]

all of my life i spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings and now at the end all i know that i’ve learned is that all that i know is i don’t know a thing so easy to close off place the blame outside hiding in my room at night so terrified all the things i could’ve been but i never had the nerve life and love i don’t deserve

[positivelybeastly]

About a week out from the big reunion. How ya feeling

"Mutantkind is counting on me. I will settle for no less than complete and total success. If you're angling for a hint as to my intentions, then you can try and find it elsewhere. I have precious little time to entertain distractions, whether they be yours . . . or X-Force's."

"Would you believe me for even a moment if I said I felt fine? Because I really don't. Nervous, anxious, a whole lot of other words ending with ous . . . I don't know if I'm ready to face him. Either, him.

The other me.

Simon.

I know less now than I've ever known, I'm a stranger in a strange land, I'm clueless, I'm . . . frightened. I'm frightened, that's how I'm feeling. Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

". . . All of my life, I've spent searching the words of poets, and saints, and prophets, and kings, and now, at the end, all I know that I've learned, is that all that I know, is I don't know a thing. I don't know what's going to happen, I can't even begin to guess, and I . . . well."

"Whatever happens . . . I'm going to do my best. I owe it to everyone to do no less."

Fuckin' terrified. You have no idea how eagle eyed I am for the preview pages for #49 to hit. Even the slightest hint is going to hit my eyeballs like a goddamn freight truck.

This, and #50, could be the single greatest thing to happen to Hank in the last 10 years, or it could be the shit icing on a shit sundae, I don't know. I really don't know.

Let's hope for the best, aye?

[starkidlabs]

I don’t think a set of lyrics will ever hit me as hard, yet be consistently so relevant, than

‘All of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings. Now at the end all I know that I've learned is that all that I know is I don't know a thing.

So easy to close off place the blame outside, hiding in my room at night so terrified.

All the things I could’ve been but never had the nerve. Life and Love I don’t deserve.’

[theswampghost]

seriously though what the fuck. in 2017 dave malloy was like is this how i die? ridiculed and laughed at, wearing clown shoes? is this how i die? furious and reckless, sick with booze? how did i live? i taste every wasted minute. every time i turned away from the things that might have healed me. how long have i been sleeping? is this how i die? frightened like a child, lazy and numb? is this is how i die? pretending and preposterous and dumb? how did i live? was i kind enough and good enough? did i love enough? did i ever look up and see the moon and the stars and the sky—oh, why have i been sleeping? they say we are asleep until we fall in love. we are children of dust and ashes. but when we fall in love we wake up, and we are a god and angels weep… but if i die here tonight, i die in my sleep. all of my life i spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings, and now, at the end, all i know that i’ve learned is that all that i know is i don’t know a thing! so easy to close off, place the blame outside, hiding in my room at night, so terrified. all the things i could have been, but i never had the nerve; life and love i don’t deserve. so alright! alright! i’ve had my time. close my eyes, let the death bells chime, bury me in burgundy, i just don’t care. nothing’s left; i’ve looked everywhere. is this how i die? was there ever any other way my life could be? is this how i die? such a storm of feelings inside of me? but then—why am i screaming? why am i shaking? oh god, was there something that i missed? did i squander my divinity? was happiness within me the whole time? they say we are asleep until we fall in love. we are children of dust and ashes. but when we fall in love we wake up, and we are a god and angels weep… but if i die here tonight, i die in my sleep. they say we are asleep until we fall in love—and i’m so ready to wake up now. i want to wake up. don’t let me die while i’m like this. i want to wake up! god, don’t let me die while i’m like this. please let me wake up now—god, don’t let me die while i’m like this! i’m ready. i’m ready to wake up.

[boydykedevo]

All of my life I’ve spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings and now at the end all I know that I’ve learned is that all that I know is I don’t know a thing…

[cannotflyarc]

@stjusts ( starter call. ) d.ust and ashes from n.atasha, p.ierre and the gr.eat co.met of 1812

in london, there was a grandfather clock in the hallway. she hardly had the opportunity to flit past the giant time-keeper a few meters away from her door, but she could hear it chime every single night. ding-ding-ding for three o'clock in the morning. in another three, the judge would be awake. johanna is beyond grateful for the hospitality she has been given due to the mere fact she's only given a handful of information to a handful of people. those she know would help her. johanna never expected to live a life closer to the one the beggar woman on kearney's lane faced, but once she was able to slip past the judge in church, she's relied on almost nothing but christian charity alone. yet, for all of her gratefulness, she wishes there was a clock. perhaps, if she could hear a familiar chime alerting her of whatever dark hour it was, she wouldn't have allowed her thoughts to run mad like this.

❝ marguerite, ❞ johanna whispers, as to not give away the fact that her voice trembles, ❝ all of my life i've spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings and now at the end, all that i know is i don't know a thing. ❞ knees bend to rest against her chest, arms settling to cradle them and to tuck her skirts in properly. is she wearing too many petticoats today? perhaps, it wasn't the best idea to wear so many. is she dying? is she doing to overheat and perish? ❝ so easy to close off --- ❞ each word tumbles out quicker than the last ❝ --- place the blame outside. hiding in my room at night so terrified. all the things i could have been, but i never had the nerve! ❞ she doesn't want to die now. or does she? does it really matter? even if johanna lives, the judge will find her eventually. he'll confine her to a life of studying scripture after scripture and poem after poem, never allowing her to think about it for herself. the judge always had his way. she's going to die without an ounce of knowledge or a spare thought.

❝ i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i didn't mean to. i'm sorry for rambling. ❞ hearing her pulse clearly pounding in her ears, she looks up. she doesn't want to loose a friend for rambling the way she does.