#and the general fear of forming a connection with anyone new or a strong connection with anyone I already know

[starkidlabs]

I don’t think a set of lyrics will ever hit me as hard, yet be consistently so relevant, than

‘All of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings. Now at the end all I know that I've learned is that all that I know is I don't know a thing.

So easy to close off place the blame outside, hiding in my room at night so terrified.

All the things I could’ve been but never had the nerve. Life and Love I don’t deserve.’

[cyberclouddream]

How to Spot: Air Signs Edition

Gemini Rising

- come off as if they’re all over the place, shallow, or flaky, constantly changing their appearance or vibe to fit the current trend

- they can charm the room without anyone really knowing who they are, though people can get annoyed with their inconsistency or superficiality

- when they feel good they’re generously spending, but when life gets tough they’re constantly hoarding things

- they overthink their spending to the point of paranoia, tying sentimental value to items and hate letting go of things

- they have an opinion on everything, and want to make sure you know it; they’re overly prideful of their ideas, even when they’re wrong

- home life may feel like a boot camp and family members may find them naggy and hard to please; nothings every clean, organized, or perfect enough for them

- may have a deep interest in family history or genealogy

- they fall in love with an image, not a person or thing, since they prioritize status and looks over emotional connection or creative expression

- either they’re completely dedicated or they’re not interested at all

- they don’t like sharing details about their work or health, and they’re prone to burnout from trying to maintain total control

- they start off hot and passionate but when they feel trapped they either ghost or pick fights to justify their need for space

- they can be hypocritical, demanding freedom while not necessarily granting it to their commitments or partners

- they often seem emotionally distant or rigid, treating emotional vulnerability like business transactions

- they can be too contrary, shoving their “open-mindedness” down other people’s throats; people can see them as someone who likes concepts over real-world practicality

- they can seem flaky or unreliable in their workplace; expect them to “find themselves” through many career changes or false starts

- they’re quick to argue and steamroll others to get what they want; if someone challenges their position in groups they’ll either fight to the top or abandon the group all together

- they can be stuck in their ways, preferring to suffer in silence rather than confront their fears or let go of habits

- they can get too comfortable with their emotional status quo, no matter how damaging it is

Libra Rising

- they desperately want to be liked and admired so they’re always putting on their “best face” in public, too busy trying to make everyone happy

- they avoid conflict like the plague, even if it means letting things fester under the surface

- they hide their true financial state from others, and may hoard money or material possessions; they may pull strings behind the scenes to ensure their financial security

- they dominate conversations, usually lecturing others rather than engaging in dialogue

- they treat family like a job, prioritizing order and structure over emotional connection; they’re not the nurturing type, which make the environment feel dry or lacking affection

- their love and creative life is more about experimenting than connecting emotionally; they want to stand out as different and can be disconnected from emotional aspects

- their daily routines are a disaster and they’re often late, forgetful, or completely checked out; their work ethic is inconsistent and they may overindulge in unhealthy habits, like procrastination or poor diets

- they attract strong-willed partners which often leads to power struggles

- they want harmony but are quick to start a fight if they don’t get their way; their partners may feel confused by the switch from charming to aggressive

- they’re very stubborn and can be slow to make any kind of personal transformation

- their approach to intimacy is sensual and drawn-out, but they’re resistant to any emotional change

- they’re an eternal student, always picking a new subject but never really mastering anything

- may travel often, but more as a form of bragging rights than true adventure

- they’re sensitive to how they’re perceived in their career and can be easily hurt by criticism

- they crave recognition for their compassion but they can also come across as overly emotional or clingy in professional settings

- they can alienate their friends by trying to show off by showboating all the time in social groups, since they’re not good at sharing the spotlight

- they’re secretly very self-critical, always worrying about whether they’re good enough; behind their calm exterior they’re picking apart themselves for every little flaw

- their anxieties may come out in the form of passive-aggressive behavior or nitpicking others in attempt to deflect their own insecurities

Aquarius Rising

- most people find them cool at first, then realize they’re cold as ice and emotional unavailable

- they’re highly unpredictable and refuse to conform to anything, so others find it hard to connect with them

- they often change their appearance or interests without warning, easily getting board with anything mainstream

- inconsistent income is a theme, and they may be confused about where their money went

- they either giving away too much money or floating from one financial mishap to the other

- conversations with then can feel like debates and they’re quick to anger if someone challenges their viewpoints

- when it comes to their personal space they’re not as flexible as they claim to be, they’re borderline possessive; they want stability but are resistant to change

- they’re great at flirting and terrible at commitment, and they often have a half-dozen projects lying around; they love the idea of creation more than follow through

- they let their emotions dictate their routines; one bad mood and their thrown off the entire day

- they create drama in relationships just to feel important; they struggle to balance their desire for independence with their need for validation from their partner

- when it comes to shared resources or intimacy they can be control freaks and micro-manage every detail, demanding perfection from themselves and their partners

- pursue higher education in unconventional philosophies or spiritual practices

- they talk about “justice” and “fairness” but rarely take a stand on anything, using intellectual posturing to mask their lack of depth

- come off secretive and intimidating in their professional life, and can appear ruthless if their reputation or authority is challenged

- they guard their ambitions fiercely and don’t let anyone know their true intentions or how much they crave power

- their social groups seem large and varied, but their connections can feel superficial; they come off as the flaky friend who’s always onto the next big thing

- they’re secretly terrified of failing or losing control, their hidden fear of inadequacy eating away at them

- they pretend everything is fine but behind-the-scenes there’s burnout or self-sabotage

[tiamathh]

Your life in a parallel universe?

Note: Hi! Tysm for the person who left this idea in the suggestions form <3 if anyone wants you can send ideas here: FORM as well! Take care and Like and Rb if you enjoy!

♡ Masterlist ♡

Pile 1

Hi Pile 1! Your life in a parallel universe is filled with learning, you may be an academician or a "guru" of sorts. You may live in seclusion, preferring your own space and having a lot of books especially on the occult, you could also be very committed to spreading knowledge and could have apprentices. Your job may be related to spirituality and magik as well, where you could help people out through rituals and communication with deities. You may have to face a lot of obstacles and could also face troubles with fatigue, especially recovering from spiritual fatigue that can manifest physically. You may not have a lot of luxury or money, but you will be content, satisfied and happy with your life, you will also be extremely knowledgeable.

There will be A LOT of good people in your life, ones on the same wavelength as you who you can rely on, and a lot of romance too. You may have like a lifelong partner, like the first person you date turns into the person you spend the rest of your life with. You could have a fear of travel and prefer staying where you are, you could live on the outskirts of some town or the countryside, somewhere with a lot of nature where you can essentially grow your own food and stuff, all natural here, living with what the earth gives you, does not mean you will like abandon society or technology or anything you will just like living from the earth and in nature. Talking about your love life because it seems very prominent here, you and your partner will be similar in so many ways and have businesses together, probably online like tarot, reiki, etc and your partner will be extremely optimistic and strong and charming!

Song: That old feeling - Chet Baker

Pile 2

Hello Pile 2~ In a parallel universe, you are probably at the top of the career ladder and living a life of luxury and fame. Not only do you have anything you could ask for materially, you also hold a lot of power over people, which could sometimes make you a little bit arrogant. In general, you will be a social butterfly and almost like a socialite where you run in circles with famous wealthy people as well. You may have gotten the success through a startup or idea you came up with on your own during a time of feeling lost and directionless, a true rags-to-riches type story. Your belief, originality and slight recklessness with your leaps of faith that brought you there. In a parallel universe, you are impatient and impulsive, but your intellect and charge pulls you out of any mess you may find yourself in. You are a spendthrift and want nothing but the best from life because you can afford it and will be very worldly, travelling whenever you can.

You may retire early and let someone else deal with the workload while you can spend your time seeing the world, experiencing new cultures and new food, especially. Moreover, you may have a lot of friends who you can have fun with, but they could also be overly ambitious, the kind of people who will look for others weaknesses to exploit them, leading to you having to be cautious around them. You may have a lot of flings and romantic rendezvous' but you may feel a lack of connection when it comes to having long term romantic partners. You are also very courageous with the decisions you make, and could love extreme sports like paragliding and bungee jumping and stuff. Lastly you may not have the best relations with your family because you could have cut or minimised contact with them in this universe.

Song: The Leaders - ATEEZ

Pile 3

Hey Pile 3 my star pile (literally)! In a parallel universe you are definitely in the public eye, probably as an artist or performer. You may have a lot of fame and reputation and live a life of thrill, there could be drugs and alcohol involved as well, and you may feel like you have to depend on them to be able to fully unleash your potential as an artist. You are rich but also charitable, I'm getting for some of you guys it's because your PR manager wants you photographed while doing charity to improve your reputation with fans and potential collaborators. Although you will feel fulfilled because you can share your art with the world, you won't feel satisfied because you may feel stuck having to cater to an audience or the people around you and could often feel lonely and left out from the bigger picture, feeling like if you make any changes to your art or style, or start experimenting, people will abandon you, and you will have a fall from grace leading to a downhill spiral.

Parallel universe you is stressed and anxious about their future even though they are good at saving and may be good at investing as well, however they don't get to spend enough time with their friends and family which may lead to feelings of unhappiness. You are also very emotionally mature and connected with how you feel I just keep seeing water flowing, in a parallel universe you go with the flow, even if you are anxious and stressed you will just let it be and ignore it with a staunch belief that at the end of the day things will be okay. You may have an older feminine energy in your life to help you through everything, this may be like an older sister figure and could be with you through thick and thin. Your romantic life could be lacking because you may not feel confident enough in your ability to be committed to someone.

Song: Need you Now - Lady A

[sliverslipped]

Messages from the universe

Please be mindful of your words and as it's said not everything might resonate. This is a general reading. Take what resonates and leave the rest. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath after taking a close look at the images. Choose the one that attracts you the most. Feel free to choose two piles if you feel drawn to both.

Credits: Pictures aren't mine. I got it from Pinterest. I've also used the divider from @cafekitsune

Comments and feedback are appreciated.

PILE 1

The empress You should embrace your nurturing, compassionate side of yours. You should believe in the creative power that resides within you. Allow the angels and spirits to guide you as you focus on manifestation and abundance. Strength Embrace your inner strength and believe in yourself. Trust your own abilities and let the universe guide you forward. Even if things may seem difficult you'll be able to overcome those with your strength. Two of wands Trust your intuition and vision. The potential lies within you. Two of pentacles Trust your ability to adapt to the changes that are coming your way. You may need to balance your personal life and new relationship giving equal attention to both. If you're already in a relationship, you may have to balance your love life and relationship by managing time and energy.

Oracle Stop overthinking. You're on the right path. Do not rush it. You will receive your rewards. Be patient. Break out of old routines. Again be patient.

PILE 2

Seven of cups You may have potential partners lining up for you. You need not rush into a relationship but rather take your time and evaluate. You might also be confused by different options, may this be romantic or career. Spirits are asking you to stay grounded and take your time. High priestess Pay attention to your intuition. Universe is asking you to slow down your pace and take time to meditate and reflect on your actions and behavior. The hierophant Universe wants you to honour your beliefs and focus on the spiritual journey. Be open minded and accept learning in whatever form it may appear. You should also prioritize building relationships with strong foundation. Six of wands You're on the right path. Your hard work will be paid off. Keep up the energy and move forward, victory is on your side.

Oracle You might be going through a period of spontaneous awakening and having experiences that are out of ordinary. Be devoted, stay focused. Honour yourself. Don't compare yourself to anyone and don't let anyone have power over you. Respect who you are.

PILE 3

Knight of swords Trust your intuition to guide you. You're also encouraged to take leadership roles. Four of wands Celebrate your victories no matter how small or big they might be. Cherish your loved ones and express gratitude for the blessings that you've been showered upon. Be open to receiving more blessings. If you have someone on your mind, the universe is asking you to take things slow and get to know each other more. Six of cups Focus on yourself and your spiritual growth and release any fears or insecurity that might be holding you down. Let go of the judgements that you may harbor. Sun The universe is asking you to stay optimistic. Have faith in your abilities and strengths. You're also being called to connect with your inner child and experience the joy that life has offered to you.

Oracle Whatever you're called to do, that is your calling. Don't overthink it. Don't wait for permission. Just say yes and do it. You're encouraged to answer the call and follow what lights you up. You will triumph against all odds. It is important that you set loving boundaries and allow only positive energy to sustain you. Keep up the boundaries and be careful who you let in.

Ⓒsliverslipped

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Helloo there, I hope you had a nice new year!

I'm an INTP here, and I need some guidance on how I can handle cultivating more empathy and social skills. I've had a lack of empathy since I was young. I am not sure what triggered it or led to it. But It's hard for me to form proper connections with people as a result.

When I was younger, I was a silent kid because i had almost no interest in socializing. I've noticed an issue where i was extremely selfish or cruel. For example, around the age of 6 to 12, I would get a sort of gratification when I purposely made my friend sad, I would find tiny reason to break of the friendship, and feel no remorse to it. I treated people more like experiments than friends. The only major fear I had was towards authority figures such as teachers.

Another thing I've noticed is that I have no strong recollection of good/bad memories. I can not remember the times I have been emotionally hurt or happy memories. The only major emotions I show are annoyance, happiness, and sadness if something happened to me only and never for anyone else.

I also find it hard to remember any important details of conversations and how I talked with people. Leading to fights because they bring up something i did, which i can not recall. My conversations are dull, I can't seem to generate emotions naturally. It feels like I have to fake every expression at times, as friends have previously called me a robot, due to my monotone behaviour.

I also find it hard to speak without saying something awkward and unfit for the conversation. It seems like my thoughts are many degrees away from the original path of the conversation. While everyone else can talk smoothly and reply in a way that continues the conversations, my replies fall flat and end with an awkward laugh.

As you might be able to guess, my friendships are quite shallow and unfulfilling, too. I often find it a chore to maintain relationships, almost taking an extreme amount of energy to reply to a text. Even if the other person has a keen interest in me.

But I still so desire good friendships, I keep myself cheerful and smiley, so that people don't turn off from me at first glance.

I've noticed these traits so often and spiralled down into sadness, believing that I might be sociopathic and that I am intrinsically a bad person. (I am prone to victim mentality, which made it worse).

It's only after I reached college and got into a failed relationship that I've consciously tried to fix myself. I've realised what an unfulfilling and selfish life I've been living.

I've tried living in the moment, trying to feel peoples emotions, putting in effort, listening more, trying to converse more, approach people, and, in general, involve myself in the class. But all it takes is one bad mood for me to undo all my progress and turn silent again.

My feelings of insecurity and envy have been raised, too, as my ex is now dating someone who is empathetic, sensitive, and socially adept.

I want to know

How to get out of this constant rut of motivation and failure to change.

How to live in the moment and talk, getting over the fear that I will say something unfit.

How to be more empathetic in general.

How to be more secure inside so that i can focus more outside and on my friendships.

---------------------

Lack of empathy or empathy deficit is a complicated topic in psychology, so this might be a lot for you to process. Yes, empathy can be conceptualized as a skill to improve and build up through learning and practice. However, like any skill, some people will have more genetic aptitude with it than others, so some people struggle with it more than others.

It sounds like you've already done some research and tried a few techniques with meh results. Unfortunately, your way of working toward a solution is very slow because you still don't know the "why". It's hard to solve a problem when you don't know the root cause because then the only method available to you is trial-and-error. It can indeed become very discouraging when you get error after error or don't see any meaningful progress.

Empathy deficit can be thought of as a symptom, which means there are many possible psychological issues/disorders that can give rise to it. It might benefit you to get assessed by a mental health professional with expertise about empathy deficit. It's important to investigate what lies behind it in order to discover the right way to address it.

For example, both autism and narcissism can produce empathy deficit but the mechanisms that impede empathy development are very different when you compare the two, so the treatment plans would end up looking very different once you tailor them to each individual's needs. Some people lack empathy simply because they have never been loved by anyone due to growing up in an environment of extreme neglect. Having never felt love, they don't know what it is and of course don't know how to show it.

One reason empathy deficit is a thorny subject is because of social stigma, especially since it often gets associated with psychopathy or sociopathy as you mentioned. Many psychologists don't use these labels because of the stigma and because they are imprecise. When a psychological term is widely used by the general public, it starts to lose meaning or the meaning gets extremely fuzzy, which renders it less and less useful for diagnostic purposes. People think "psychopath" and they picture a serial killer, which isn't helpful.

Personally, I'm even wary of using the word "disorder" because it often leads people to believe they are somehow "broken"; the way they behave is "wrong" and has to be changed to the "right" way. While some psychological problems should be called a disorder, I personally don't believe that empathy deficit itself should be, unless it is accompanied by dysfunctional behavior that indicates the presence of a serious mental disorder.

My understanding of empathy deficit is that it's more like a "disability", similar to blindness or deafness. What's the advantage of approaching empathy deficit as a disability? A) It's not your fault that your brain has low aptitude for empathy, so shame is completely unwarranted. B) A disability is something you can come to comfortably accept as a part of you, but also something you need to learn to adapt to, in order to live a fuller life. Thus, the question isn't "what's wrong with me?" but rather "how can I adapt better to having this disability?"

Empathy isn't an on/off switch. There are degrees of empathy. Some people have minimal to no empathy. Some people have too much empathy. Most people fall somewhere in the middle of having empathy much of the time but still capable of acting like a selfish jerk some of the time.

The way INTPs approach the world tends to be conceptual and intellectual, so it might help you to approach empathy in more cognitive rather than emotional terms. The most basic way to explain empathy is the ability to conceptualize/visualize another person's mind and understand what's going on in there. There are many paths to reaching that understanding, so psychologists distinguish between different kinds of empathy:

Affective empathy or emotional empathy is about sharing someone else's feelings and emotions. For instance, people with normal empathy would feel sad upon seeing their friend feeling sad about their dog dying. By sharing feelings and emotions with someone, it can lessen their burden and help them feel better. Expressing empathy in this way is a common method of showing how much you care about someone's well-being. When people talk about empathy deficit, it is usually affective empathy they are referring to. Try as they might, some people just can't muster enough care or concern about others.

Another kind of empathy is cognitive empathy, which is basically about modeling someone else's mind. Ti+Ne might help you with this. You could take your own experience and try to extrapolate from it to understand someone else.

For example, do you feel anything when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you, such as ask how you're doing, give you a gift, or answer a question for you online? People with normal empathy would feel warmth, appreciation, gratitude, closeness/intimacy, care, love, or a sense of mattering. If you feel good when someone does something nice for you, you can extrapolate from it and guess that someone else may also feel good when you do something nice for them. This is the rationale behind the common advice of treating others the way you would like to be treated.

Even if you aren't capable of feeling good when someone does something nice for you, you can still observe that it is a common phenomenon in the general population. Therefore, you can deduce, through empirical investigation of cause and effect, that people doing nice things for each other is an important aspect of maintaining good relations. This can then be turned into a good principle or practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you have to occasionally do nice things for them (so that they can feel justified in continuing the friendship)." You don't have to use your own emotion to arrive at good principles of action; you can also use logic and common sense to get a similar result.

Empathy is also closely linked to compassion, which is about taking action in accordance with empathic feelings. For example, seeing a friend get injured on the street, it isn't enough to just stand there and feel for them, right? Feeling bad for them should also prompt you to take action to help or save them from further injury or death.

If you can't feel bad for people who are injured, you can still understand, intellectually, that it's not a great situation. Instead of acting on empathic feelings you don't have, you could act out of logic and common sense, knowing that, universally, nobody likes to lie there vulnerable and bleeding on the street. Once again, this could lead you to create a principle/practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you should take action whenever they need help."

If you're not capable of affective empathy, you are still capable of cognitive empathy as long as you are of normal intelligence. Most people rely more on affective than cognitive empathy. However, since you suffer this "disability" of not being able to generate enough affective empathy, you could rely more on cognitive empathy as an adaptation.

Maybe it's impossible for you to become the beloved social butterfly wowing everyone with your charisma, but you can still form meaningful relationships with a handful of people. When you meet a good candidate for friendship, be open and honest about your challenges, then they will know to show you more empathy and patience. As long as you're willing to put out some effort for them, they will return it. Relationships require reciprocity.

This brings us to the last point of "effort", which relates to motivation. Motivation often arises from emotionality; people have a strong desire or feel strongly about something, so they take action. What happens when your feelings and emotions are too muted to motivate action?

Human beings are motivated by a great number of things. The motivation to connect with other people is but one of them. In many cases, empathy deficit doesn't mean a person is incapable of empathizing. It's more precise to say that they can empathize but the motivation is too easily overridden by other conflicting motivations.

To give you a simple example, maybe you just worked a long day on your feet and you're utterly exhausted. You get on the bus to go home and there's only one seat left that's reserved for the disabled or elderly. You take it because no one else wants it. Later, a very frail old man gets on the bus and eyes your seat. What do you do? Many people, out of empathy, would yield the seat. A low empathy person can still feel bad for the old man. The issue is that their empathy level isn't strong enough to override the more pressing motivation to rest.

Oftentimes in relationships, you are faced with a dilemma of having to choose between yourself and others. Instead of thinking of it in terms of "I only care about me and I don't care about them", you can think of it like this:

I have multiple motivations. 1) I want to do what I want to do. 2) But I also want to keep this person as my friend. Just because motivation 1 is always stronger than 2 doesn't mean I always have to choose that way.

Since my feelings and emotions are muted, I do not have the mental resources to satisfy all of my motivations all of the time. I must ensure that I am not too otherwise stressed/taxed when trying to socialize. And I must calculate which motivation is most worthwhile to follow based on the situation.

When faced with a social dilemma, I must analyze which motivation is going to lead me to a better outcome via weighing the pros and cons objectively. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking care of my own needs. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking action to keep my friend. In some situations, I can be super smooth and efficient and do something that will benefit both of us at the same time. Make the smartest choice given the circumstances.

Taking some extra time to think through possible outcomes helps you make better social decisions (and develop Ne properly). Just like a visually impaired person has to put out effort to read braille or a hearing impaired person has to put out effort to use sign language, you must put out some effort to learn adaptations that will help you participate better in relationships and social situations.

You don't have to overthink. You can learn about people through observation and asking them simple questions. You can follow some basic principles like: compliment people when they do something good; offer help on occasion; say please and thank you; etc. Perhaps read about social etiquette to learn some good rules of thumb. Perhaps study communication skills so that you can express yourself more effectively.

An important aspect of maintaining motivation is regularly getting good results along the way. As INTP, you should be good at analyzing past mistakes for lessons to learn, in a scientific or experimental way. Try something and it doesn't work, don't do it again. Something worked well, try it again. It only works some of the time? Isolate the relevant factors to predict which situations it's more likely to work. You've obviously made some progress since childhood because you now actually care about this issue enough to feel bad and reach out for guidance. When feeling down, people tend to fixate on failure and it's easy to lose sight of all the little improvements achieved. Make sure to review the things you've done well, no matter how small, as a way to keep your motivation up.

Although empathy is an important ingredient in relationships, there are still ways to proceed without it. As long as you have some motivation to socialize, no matter how small or muted, there is hope to build something more out of it. Use those feelings of loneliness, regret, or sadness you just told me about to enhance your motivation and your desire to live your life in a better way (as opposed to wallowing in negativity).

You don't have to be "noble" and take action for others purely because you care deeply about them. Maybe it's enough to do it as a thank you to them for sticking around to make your life more fulfilling. It's not a competition of "me vs them", so don't think of relationships as a "sacrifice". By making them happy, you also make yourself happy, because you get to have a friend. Fe teaches you that good relationships should be win-win, even when you care more about your win than theirs.

[anangelforsure]

I am asexual. Many of my favorite fictional characters and robots or inhuman. What do those things have in common? I’m glad you asked.

In this essay I aim to highlight some connections between inhuman characters and the ace community, largely based off of my own experiences and the experiences of others I have read on the internet. This is going to be a niche and personal piece, as sexuality is a unique experience for every individual.

Some of the characters and media I will touch upon include Mettaton from Undertale, the animatronics from the Five Nights at Freddy’s series, Crowley from Good Omens (tv), AM from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream (radio show), and the dolls from the Barbie movie.

(*gentle CW for a bit of a vent about personal experiences in paragraph 6- after the FNAF bit. As much as I’d like to have a professional analysis style, this is an art piece)

Asexuality is a difficult topic due to its complicated and varying nature. Identifying as asexual does not mean one straightforward thing, and it can be hard to explain what it means without being too narrow in the definition. So, to briefly explain for anyone who does not know: to be asexual generally means a person does not experience sexual attraction towards others. There are people who identify as being under the ace umbrella who do experience some sort of limited or condition-dependant sexual attraction. An ace person can experience romantic attraction, or maybe they don’t, and are aromantic as well as ace (research the Split Attraction Model for more detail. Aromanticism and asexuality can overlap in many areas, but I will be focusing on asexuality). An asexual person may have sex with others for various reasons, or they may not. Libido and sexual attraction are separate entities.

Now that we have a basic understanding of asexuality, let me get into the fun part, character analysis!

I will start with Mettaton. Mettaton is a hugely popular character in the trans community due to his backstory being an obvious allegory for transitioning. Hundreds of people have written about it better than I ever could, and so I will not waste my time trying to add something new to the discussion. My take on his hypothetical sexuality is what I think sets my views apart. Now, I adore all interpretations of this character, the delightful thing about headcanons is that as many versions of a character as you want can exist simultaneously. Due to his flirty personality, Mettaton is very commonly sexualized (and we do! Wholeheartedly! /ref). But in order to make everything about me, I take it upon myself to headcanon his robotic existence as a metaphor for asexuality. Think about it, a character who so desperately wanted to become something more, to take a form that will make him more relatable and palatable to the masses. The possibilities for gender/ sexuality headcanons are endless. To get more literal, he is a robot. And robots do not generally contain the hardware required for human procreation, you know? So his attitude can be seen as an overcompensation for that void, the lack of true understanding of human sexuality. Or rather, an attempt to cover the unavoidable truth that he will never be truly human. Avoiding alienation is a task many ace people perform in their daily lives, as it is frowned upon by some to be uncomfortable with sex, as the topic of discussion or jokes, not to mention the issues it raises in potential romantic relationships. Sometimes ace people will take part in uncomfortable conversations, or even perform sexual actions they don’t want to, simply to fit in. For example, many of us have a history of making up crushes to relate to our peers at school, rather than admit we didn’t feel that way about anyone. The fear of being unable to relate is an ever present and strong one.

Another example of robots representing asexuality is FNAF. This stems mainly from the many amazing fan works that have come from this fandom, giving the animatronics distinct personalities seperate from the canon possession from the games. As much as I adore the messy franchise, I am partial to the idea of sentient robots, rather than haunted. It is a fascinating idea, the animatronics having artificial intelligence so advanced that they are self aware, they know that they were used in the missing child incidents but were powerless to stop anything. The few canon instances of sentient AI that I cling to come from Security Breach, once is when Freddy is brought into a room with spare endoskeletons he has a moment of panic where he questions his creation and the nature of his existence. The other is when Gregory asks Freddy why he is helping him rather than hunting him like the other bots, and Freddy struggles to answer. The other robots are his friends, and yet they are monsters. My heart aches for him in those brief moments, his touchingly human feelings are distinct from our own because of their roots in artificiality. A sort of isolation, as asexuality can be. Knowing there is something slightly off about yourself, a barrier that prevents you from fully understanding others.

You can come to feel like a monster, when you’ve tried so hard yet failed to feel the way you’re supposed to in a relationship. When you end up hurting the person you were supposed to love, because you’re not the person you thought you could be. You go through the motions, hoping that something changes, maybe once you get comfortable things will click and you’ll be normal.

The realization that those feelings are not going to happen is sickening. You’ve strung them along, wasted their time trying to fix a broken machine. And the worst part is that underneath it all you knew. You knew it was never going to work, and you selfishly tried it anyways. Even more selfishly, you know in your heart that their injury is not what is causing the pain gripping your chest. It’s the cold weight of your darkest fear coming true. You are broken. You’re incomplete. Unforgivable…

Which brings me to my next character. The demon Crowley from the Good Omens TV series. While he is not a robot, Crowley is certainly not human. And despite living on earth for thousands of years, as an immortal being he struggles to totally understand human existence, the power of free will. His experience with free will is that it turns you into a monster. “I won’t be forgiven. Not ever. It’s in the demon job description. Unforgivable, that’s what I am”. It applies to all queer people, because it really is just… part of our job description. There will always be people who see something wrong with you. Crowley’s relationship with Aziraphale drives the point home even harder. Aziraphale, as Crowley’s closest companion, cannot understand him either. The line between them, Aziraphale believing in the existence of a ‘right’ side, while Crowley knows there is no such thing, means he ultimately walks alone. It can be difficult to connect with other asexual people, I have always been the only one in my friend groups. As much as I know I am loved and accepted by my friends, they can’t understand this aspect of me.

I do not have a strong lead in for my next character, but I feel so strongly about them considering the source material is only half an hour long. AM, from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, specifically the radio show. This character is a horrifically evil totalitarian AI, created by the very species he despised so much he wiped them from the planet. How exactly could a villain like AM tie into this? Well, I fully believed he was going to be completely cold and unlikeable, up until this one line: “Because in all this wonderful, beautiful, miraculous world, I alone had no BODY, no SENSES, no feelings. Never for me to plunge my hands in cool water on a hot day. Never for me to play Mozart on the ivory keys of a forte piano. Never for ME to MAKE LOVE. I was in hell, looking at heaven. I was machine and you- Were flesh.” This says it all, literally. I would highly recommend listening to the radio drama, the written lines don’t do it justice. The wavering in AM’s bitter, hatred-soaked voice struck me right in my core as I went ‘oh’… and all of a sudden he wasn’t quite as much of a tyrannical evil as before. AM has no physical form, and that is the cause of his endless suffering. More than anything, he wants to be the very thing he hates so much. Human. To experience corporeal existence in all its limited glory. As heavy handed as it sounds, yes, this really hits hard as an ace person. The emptiness, once you recognize it, is incredible.

Another form of the no-body/ no genitals thing we have going on with AM and the robots comes from the Barbie movie. They flat out state that the dolls have no genitalia. Again, I will admit that is a heavy handed way to present an ace allegory, especially considering the nuance that goes into ace identities, remember that it’s not all about the act of sex. But the thing about art is that it doesn’t have to be taken literally. A lack of genitals can be more of a metaphor for lacking what they represent. I also want to draw from the music in this movie. ‘I’m Just Ken’ sung by Ryan Gosling, as silly and fun as it is, contains the line “I want to know what it’s like to love, to be the real thing” which is surprisingly impactful. Coming from an inhuman character, wanting to experience the real thing.. I fear I’m getting a little repetitive here as I try to come up with unique ways to drive my points home. Barbie and Ken each struggle with their existence, and wanting to be more than they are. The song ‘What Was I Made For?’ by Billie Eilish Is another really good piece of this movie. Ace people often have the titular question on their mind. Without attraction driving us to procreate, what is the purpose of our lives? Obviously it is ridiculous to reduce humanity down to that in this day and age, but it is subtly ingrained into society so much so that it can be shocking to family members and friends when an individual is not looking to start a family. There is also a common misconception that sex/love are what define us as human. We are so much more than that.

Now that I mention music, I have a small selection of songs that encompass some of the feelings I am trying to convey, sticking to the theme of asexuality and otherness with the robotic/inhuman metaphor as best I can.

‘A Human’s Touch’ by TWRP is the first song on my list. I have seen this song used by many of the fandoms I have referenced above, which really fuels the personal connection here. The song is, a lament of technology past that doubles as a metaphor for a broken relationship. Things we used to adore but no longer have a use for, yearning for someone to pick them back up and make them useable again. From an ace perspective, the notion of being replaced or discarded when a newer, better version shows up is all too real. Sometimes ace people are treated by allosexual people as a last resort, or a placeholder until the other person finds someone more compatible, more willing to do or able to feel the things ‘normal’ people should. “Am I just a toy to you, my love?” Is a question I have asked myself when someone I used to know would come back to me whenever their ‘real’ relationships ended badly.

Steam Powered Giraffe is a really cool band, I love that almost every song is about being a robot. “Brass Goggles” was the song that put me onto them. There’s a lot going on in this song, but there are some really hard lines lamenting robotic life. “Will I ever be something with feelings to hide? Or am I just a boiler with nothing inside?” Wondering why they are alive, what constitutes being alive and human. I think I’ve said as much as I can say about the connection between robots wondering why they exist and can’t feel what a human does, and an ace person wondering why they can’t feel what others do, and why they were born that way.

‘Cabinet Man’ by Lemon Demon is such a cool song for the robotic metaphor. It is about a person who is somehow reanimated as an arcade machine, and is no longer quite human. In particular I like this line- about having people come from all over to see and to play this machine- “this must be what love would have felt like”. It can weigh on you sometimes, thinking that maybe something else is the closest you will ever get to ‘true’ love. Maybe you can’t feel what the humans feel, but isn’t it nice to know that maybe this is what it would have been like…

‘Fake Plastic Trees’ by Radiohead is a little more abstract, as is classic Radiohead fashion. But the general theme is the fakeness of society. To me, this resonates with the way society imposes itself upon asexual people. A culture steeped in sex, where everything is catered towards allosexual people. Simply put,“It wears me out”. Another notable line “she looks like the real thing, she tastes like the real thing, my fake plastic love” I see as coming from the partner of an ace person, resigned to loving a shallow imitation of a human. It’s how I fear I will be seen by a partner, not quite the real thing, but close enough for now.

Now to end on a lighter note, I do love being ace. As much as it can be difficult to navigate the world as an under-acknowledged queer identity, it is beautiful. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. We are an integral piece of the infinite variety that comes from humans. If you are ace, I love you. If you can relate to my experiences, we’re gonna figure it all out someday, I promise.

So, in summary, I really enjoy an inhuman character’s inability to totally grasp humanity as an allegory for queerness, asexuality in particular. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading!

[missstarwitty]

presentation of my Oc jjk "Oshima Yuka" + fan art

Oshima Yuka

Origin : Japanese / French

Age: ~1000yo (apparence 22yo) (15 August ♌️)

Gender: female

Job: Exorcist specializing in possessed people and class S curses

Lore :

Oshima was once a human living at the time when exorcism had just appeared, she was chosen to become an angel after the death of her parents, she was friends with Ryomen Sukuna (at least from her point of view) but Sukuna lost his mind, it was only after his death that he became the most powerful curse, Oshima is therefore a superior class angel and holder of the powers of the 7 deadly sins and protects men from future bad omens and guides good soul towards the light but she had to hide her status as an angel because in fact at that time the celestial beings were invoked for the simple purpose of fulfilling vulgar wishes, she finally allied herself with the exorcists in order to stop her old friend Sukuna. After that to avoid harm to her because rumors said that some lower class angels had their wings torn off by the humans that she said she trusted, she lived alone for years learning the news day by day era and wonder if humans deserve a second chance, she try to learn to no longer fear them and to offer them a second chance, she became nothing more than the cold and suspicious angel

Her ability:

Her change color when she use a sins

• Blazing Wrath (Wrath):

Oshima can generate devastating celestial flames, scorching everything in their path.

She spreads like a heatwave, increasing the range of his Wrath-based attacks. The opponent is trapped in a fiery cage, which holds them until the exhaustion of Wrath.

• Enthralling Chains (Envy):

This technique creates spiritual chains that imprison the enemy, slowly draining their life force. It also allows tracking if the enemy is struck and tries to flee. These chains limit the opponent's movements.

• Abundant Regeneration (Gluttony):

Oshima can instantly heal wounds by transferring divine energy. A healing zone is created where allies recover faster and she can rebuild her body if a part of her body is cut

• Soothing Serenity (Sloth):

Force anyone to sleep, Oshima can lull opponents into a state of drowsiness for up to an hour. Depending on her intent, this effect may last longer, potentially extending to days if the intent is strong.

• Ethereal Illusions (Greed):

Oshima manipulates perception by creating dazzling illusions that deceive the senses. He can also materialize objects, which may either remain as illusions until Greed is deactivated or become real objects, marked to solidify their reality.

• Arrow of Truth (Pride):

The arrow strikes targets, revealing their weaknesses and predicting their next move for 5 seconds. The power of these attacks increases when another sin is combined.

• Eclipse of Desire (Lust):

The enemy becomes trapped in their own mind, with irresistible whispers teasing their senses. Visions manifest around the victim, inducing a trance-like state. These seductive illusions begin to sap the victim’s spiritual essence, gradually draining their life force. If the victim succumbs to their desires without finding the will to resist, Oshima will use this desire to increase her power, but even if this technique seems very simple it is difficult not to resist our desires.

• Heavenly Sanctuary:

Oshima’s domain expansion, a divine dimension where the seven deadly sins are connected to Oshima in his angelic form. He can activate the zone of a specific sin, causing the enemy to suffer from their sins until death.

• At the center, a source of celestial light emanates from the angel, symbolizing the harmony between the sins and purification.

• Each sin would have its own distinct realm, with landscapes reflecting its characteristics. For example, flames for Wrath, illusions for Pride, etc.

• Pillars of purification would rise throughout the dimension, healing allies and purifying the environment. Enemies would feel a spiritual weight corresponding to their sins, weakening their resistance.

Total Power: 92/100

(I still working on her ability I'm sorry if it's not perfect)

Fun facts:

-when she was young, before she increased her angel rank, Sukuna revealed to the people of the village that she was an angel (she never knew that he had denounced her), which led to the loss of her wings which hid her face, she therefore has only 6 wings remaining. moreover he was there the day her wings were taken

-she was chosen to protect the Gojo clan and blessed Satoru's mother so that he could be born, she secretly considers him a bit like her child and stays close to him throughout his childhood, of course Satoru knows the fact that Oshima is an angel

-she is secretly in love with Kento Nanami (yes it's an Oc x canon)

- her MBTI is ESFJ

-she likes to wear luxury suits

[ocil91]

Last round of Head Witches! Those present for the Incident at Hexside!

Adrian Graye Vernworth - The charming Head of the Illusions Coven! Adrian fancies himself a superstar and definitely feels entitled to everything that entails. He loves to talk about his (completely untrue) rags-to-riches story and generally talk about himself. He's the one with the starring role, after all.

He demonstrates a remarkable mastery of illusion magic to dazzle and confuse the senses. He's able to control an absolutely astonishing number of illusions at one time, a feat that he's quick to utilize.

His completely self-absorbed nature causes him to butt heads with pretty much all of the other Head Witches. He views himself as their superior in pretty much every way. He has a bitter rivalry with Vitimir and the two are always looking to one-up each other. Also, he'd never admit it but he is absolutely terrified of Hettie.

------------------------

Darius Deamonne - The haughty Head of the Abominations Coven. He's an incredibly fastidious witch who is known far and wide for his trendsetting looks and awe-inspiring power. For Darius, everything has its place and he very much prefers to keep things neat an orderly. Many have attempted to comment on how little since it makes for someone obsessed with tidiness to be an Abomination Witch but, like, they just don't get it.

He has an unparalleled degree of control over Abomination magic, even able to steal control from someone else's Abomination. Most impressive however is his ability to transform his body into an Abomination. He's not merely hiding inside the goop, he actually becomes it. In this form he's incredibly strong, fast and durable. Being made of the squishy material means that most attacks pass harmlessly through him. However the form does have a few weaknesses...

Among his peers Darius doesn't seem to get along with anyone, aside from an utterly inexplicable bond he has with Eberwolf. And he rather prefers for things to appear that way. As a member of the Rebellion, he is fast friends with Raine Whispers. He has nothing but unwavering faith in the Bard and fully believes that they are the key to moving things forwards.

Outside of his peers, Darius comes across as incredibly unapproachable and, as a result, he has very few connections. Having trained under a previous Golden Guard, he definitely has his eyes on the new one. Though he's totally unsure of how to proceed on that front. Also he's recently found some respect for the Blight kids and their friends.

------------------------

Hettie Cutburn - The implacable Head of the Healing Coven. I already made a post talking about Hettie's origin in more detail. She was born blind and with high expectations on her. She's always loved gore and viscera and anything that she can get her hands on which led her to a fervent passion for Healing Magic! (Particularly odd or gruesome surgeries are what truly make her happy.)

In spite of her interests she's become a very powerful and respected Healer who many view as saintly for the many life-saving procedures she's performed, even hailed as a miracle worker by some.

Her peers all know her better than that though. Those who don't fear her outright are wary of her and that's exactly how she likes it. The only exception is Terra who doesn't fear her, she simply looks down on the Healer for her disability. That makes her the only one Hettie truly hates instead of merely dislikes.

Her mastery of Healing Magic and the precision with which she wields it are absolutely unmatched. She can speed up her own healing processes to the point that her wounds close nearly instantly and her knowledge of anatomy enables her to very swiftly and efficiently remove threats.

She's trained herself to sense magic to compensate for her lack of sight and it makes it quite difficult to escape her. However, her dependence on it means that those with very weak or no magic are able to sneak up on her.

Sitting at the top of her craft for so long has left her bored. She's looking for a new thrill and in the halls of Hexside she found some very interesting witches...

[willowhaired]

hi! could i get a lotr or hobbit matchup please?

general info

lu, nonbinary, pansexual

looks

tall (6'2), androgynous, short black curly hair, black eyes, extremely pale skin, dressing in goth lolita and ouji style

personality

intj, mix of a kuudere and himedere, brutally honest, introverted, calm, quiet, reserved, sophisticated, polite, snarky, witty, sarcastic, blunt, apathetic, intimidating, mysterious, morbid, unfazed

hobbies

science, learning new things, fencing, knitting, gardening, cooking, baking, playing chess, taking long solitary walks to secluded places, reading, writing, drawing, sculpting, taxidermy, making clothes and jewelry

likes

plants, animals, insects and bugs, philosophy, thanatology, criminology, anthropology, psychology, mythology

history, forensics, horror media, serial killers, witchcraft, classical, goth and vkei music, classical and gothic literature, dancing, art, poetry, fashion

dislikes: people in general (i tolerate only few chosen ones), noises, mess, unannounced guests

love language

quality time and acts of service

random stuff

i have morbid sense of humor

i'm ballet dancer and figure skater

i sew most of my clothes myself

i like to sing when i'm in the mood

i can play on violin, church organ, cello, piano, guitar, and harp

people hate watching movies/cartoons with me because i'm overanalyzing everything

i like making jewelry

thanks for your time and have a wonderful fall!

hey! of course, hope you have a nice day! 😊

i ship you with Thranduil!

You passed through Mirkwood with a travelling dance performance; it was actually Legolas who begged his father to let your group perform, and, seeing that the autumn festivities had just started, it blended perfectly into the feast. The King's eyes were fixed on you - he admired your movements and felt almost enchanted by your performance. Although remaining cold and calculated, he invited you to stay in his realm. At first, you had been reluctant but soon realised that this would allow you more alone time and the opportunity to explore the woods that mesmerised you on your way in. Thus you remained at his court, enjoying a very undisturbed time - Thranduil was no fan of guests, and he often kept you around. From time to time, you were asked to train a few elves a choreography or two, but these occasions were sparse. You commented to the King that he must be keeping you around for decoration to which he replied: "The most beautiful jewels are not to be worn every day." This puzzled you, but throughout the months you had stayed there, the two of you had developed a kind of rapport that downright shocked the Elves at times. You would make sarcastic comments, and he'd be quick with a response - so, you chalked his words up to that. The truth was, he had slowly fallen for you. How could a human be so mesmerising? He used every opportunity to rest his hand on your back or to stroke your arm; at times it could border on intimacy, but never in a way that made you uncomfortable. Sitting in silence with you was comforting, and he was taken with your intelligence. It wasn't long before he started confiding in you about issues of his realm or asking for your advice. Upon learning that you liked to walk the forest on your own, he insisted on accompanying you and showed you a path no one else, but him knew about. However, he cautioned you not to wander off too far, for the woods were infested with the creatures of darkness. Soon, his own feelings became apparent to him. He feared to love someone he could lose to death and very suddenly he cut off all contact with you. This left you hurt since you had formed a strong bond with him. You felt better understood by Thraduil than anyone else and losing this connection to no cause was painful. You kept analysing your conversations, trying to find the point where you might've gone too far, or maybe if you had become too touchy with him (you allowed yourself to sometimes touch his upper arm or nudge him jokingly, but was it unacceptable by Elvish standard?). These thoughts kept you busy while walking the woods alone, often opting for the very path he had shown you - only this time, you ventured farther into the denseness of the forest. Was it inattention or anger not to heed his advice, you couldn't quite tell, but it wasn't long before you encountered the very beast he was afraid you'd meet. Before you was a huge spider, and in a second, you were stung on the neck and lost consciousness. When you came to, Thranduil was by your side. He dismissed the healers, then scolded you for leaving the borders of his land: "If you wish to leave, you first let me know." "I thought you wanted me to leave." "I would have you forever around, though my heart would ache seeing you be slowly consumed by death." He brushed a strand from your cheek and placed a kiss on your lips. He spent the rest of your days in the healing wards next to you, and after that, you were always by his side.

[entheogeninstitute]

Understanding PTSD: A Mental Disorder

PTSD, otherwise referred to as post-traumatic stress disorder, is a complicated mental health condition with very strong effects on the victim of the disease. Misconceived and at times overlooked by many people, PTSD is one such mental disorder that proves it to be much more than just a simple reaction to trauma. Instead, it is a serious PTSD mental disorder that requires due treatment and support.

What is PTSD?

PTSD is a kind of mental disorder that normally sets in after one either goes through or witnesses a very dangerous or life-threatening situation. Common examples may include military combat, natural disasters, accidents, or individual assaults. Generally, symptoms can become such a problem that they not only affect an individual's mental health but cause physical problems and interfere with daily life.

Intrusive Thoughts: Most of the time, individuals who suffer from PTSD have flashbacks and nightmares recurrently with intrusive thoughts regarding the event.

Avoidance: Avoiding places, people, or activities that serve as a reminder of the experienced trauma may be one coping mechanism for some.

Hyperarousal: It is evidenced by being on edge always, difficulty sleeping, and intense emotional reactions.

Trauma and Effects on Mental Health

More than just reliving a horrible event, PTSD  mental health can also be affected. This produces intense anxiety, depression, and detachment from the world in a person. In case of no treatment, PTSD can get increasingly worse with time. This finally leads to relentless stress, problems in relationships, and substance abuse.

Depression and Anxiety: When one keeps on reliving the traumatic events, it often triggers feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, and fear that feel overwhelming.

Isolation: Most of the PTSD cases isolated themselves from social life, feeling lonely and misunderstood by people.

Physical Health: Stress will also tend to produce more physical symptoms, such as headaches, gastrointestinal issues, and weakened immunity in body systems.

Identifying PTSD as a Psychiatric Disorder

Although it causes a severe impact, PTSD is at times belittled or even misunderstood. Understanding PTSD will go a long way toward ensuring the affected are treated and taken care of accordingly. Understand that PTSD does not mean you are weak or something you can just get over; rather, it's a serious condition that requires professional help.

Misconceptions: Many people believe that PTSD only affects military veterans, but it can, in fact, affect anyone who has experienced trauma.

Stigma: It is this same stigma that prevents an individual from seeking treatment for his or her symptoms, which then continue to worsen over time due to the stigma associated with mental health.

Need for Awareness: This awareness of PTSD reduces the stigma and encourages those affected to seek out the help they need.

PTSD: Seeking to Help a Recovery Path

The good news is that PTSD can be treated. People who get the right treatment can learn to cope with their symptoms and lead productive lives. Treatment for PTSD almost always includes a combination of psychotherapy, medication, and social support.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This is one of the most common, very useful ways for treating PTSD, in which one learns how one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected and how to change them.

EMDR Therapy: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a form of therapy that enables patients to deal with traumatic memories and reduces their effects.

Support Networks: A good support network consisting of friends, family, and support groups is crucial in the road to recovery.

How Entheogen Institute Can Help

At Entheogen Institute, we specialize in offering comprehensive care for individuals suffering from PTSD. That essentially means we at Entheogen Institute understand the complexities of this mental disorder and offer a holistic linking of traditional therapies with innovative practices.

Personalized Treatment Plans: No two journeys across sufferers are alike, and so we take our time in designing our treatment plans according to each client.

Compassionate Care: A group of skilled professionals have undertaken compassionate, non-judgmental care for the creating of a safe space to heal.

Holistic Approach: Other than the traditional approaches of therapy, we have alternative treatments working on the whole person—mind, body, and spirit.

Conclusion

PTSD mental illness is a serious issue that needs attention, care, and professional treatment. First of all, the process of recovery from PTSD includes understanding the nature of the disease and the realization of the fact that it is a real mental health problem. Help is within reach for those suffering from PTSD or for a loved one. At  Entheogen Institute, we will stand by you through your path to recovery, equipping you with the tools and means to regain your life.

[agreatagency]

All knees bow down to love, The purest form from above. God is love, the ultimate guide, Without it, only tolerance resides.

Agape love, selfless and true, A force that binds me and you. In its embrace, we find peace, And all our worries and fears cease.

Let us cherish this love divine, And let it in our hearts entwine. For in its, we find our way, And in its light, we see a brighter day.

*All Rights Reserved

Thank you for giving me the gift of reading my poem. My name is Kimberly McNamee, I wrote Agape Love Poem and I hope this message finds you well.

If you have not heard the gossip I wanted to share with you regarding our agency's hiring process.

A Great Agency, a top-notch Billion Dollar Company, is currently seeking Independent Contractors to join our team. I have included a job description below for your review. We are looking for someone who is passionate about Real Estate, Tourism and/or Insurance, and who is ready to take on new and grow with our company. This is an opportunity to work with a dynamic team of professionals and make a real impact in the industry. If you know anyone who would be good for this position, please feel free to share the job description with them.

We will always be hiring for this role, so any referrals are greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your time and consideration. Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is anything else I can assist you with. Best regards, ~Kimberly McNamee

See you soon!

Description:

Our company is a garden, rooted by connections, Where faith and business meet, and flourish in perfection. For over four years, my fiance and I have labored In Real Estate, Tourism, and Insurance, we've savored.

Now, we're seeking independent contractors to join our team, To help us grow and thrive, and fulfill our dream. I'm a faith-based writer, with gifts of lead generation, And virtual assistance, I bring to the equation.

My better half, the business guru, handles the laws, And tech support, he's the one never pauses. Together, we're a power couple, unstoppable and strong, With a vision to change lives, and right what's been wrong.

We believe in diligence, and the power of hard work, For a slack hand causes poverty, and that's a fact that lurks. But with us, you'll have the dream life-changing job, On your terms, with the Keys to the Kingdom, you'll be on top.

Wisdom is better than diamonds and gold, And with us, you'll have both, as we unfold. Our company is the most watched business in history, And working here, you'll have the chance to make your own victory.

So, if you're ready to commit your work to the Lord, And establish your plans with us, you'll never be bored. Call us at 301-781-3123, and let's begin, The journey to success, where everyone wins.

[love-bookrelease]

From Trance To Creative Bliss by Preet Juneja

About the Book

This book will help you learn how to get CREATIVE BLISS ‘organically’, nurture your creative and expressive spirit by using powerful states of Mind and tapping into your Intuition & also your sensual life force. We ALL have powerful creative energies within us and our authentic expression is waiting for an outlet. This book helps you open those inner channels.

This container is for anyone who intends to connect with their creative & expressive powers, let go of inner resistance and fears in the context, seek solutions from ‘within’, be it personal or professional, feel confident about their creation, needs creative inspiration, understand and tap into Creative Trance organically and attain that bliss, learn how to tap into Flow and Intuition & also work with the structure to bring about holistic powerful outcomes, create various art forms, generate ideas, build powerful rapport with their intuition, connect with their sensuality, tap into powerful states of mind, seek newness and variety in way of life/perspective/approach towards work and lead a creatively fulfilling and joyfully expressive life with less of struggle and more of ease. About the Author

Preet Juneja, is an Intuitive Artist (Writer, Dancer and Painter), who uses her Transformative Arts & other sacred tools to help people fall in love with themselves & initiate their inner healing journey, through her retreats and individual sessions.

Backed by her strong experience of over 15 years in Learning & Development, Art, and Mentoring, she contributes to the world as a Self-Love, Authentic Self-Expression and Creativity Catalyst. For many years, she has been on an immense self-healing journey that has brought her closer to her being, growth & enigmatic transformation.

She now continues to embrace and support others in embodying deeply intimate self-healing practices. Many of these practices involve inner work through a blend of over 20 modalities. Shop Now on Amazon, Flipkart and BlueroseOne

[manaboook]

Fear is often as strong as love

Most people are looking for love and need love. They desire and need the closeness of their own kind. However, fear can often be as strong as propulsion.

That is why these two feelings often compete.

There are people who feel more secure when they are alone or when they are in an “emotionally non-committal relationship” with someone than when they are emotionally committed, vulnerable through the intimacy.

We prefer not to commit to someone rather than love them who may not be able to satisfy our needs and desires.

In this way, we do not risk falling into the trap of insecurity and vulnerability that excessive proximity sometimes hides behind its beautiful veil.

We also avoid the risk of feeling the pain that love is capable of causing us — and for many of us, love has indeed brought great pain.

We don’t risk getting into any unproductive and pointless relationships. We also don’t risk being who we are, which means admitting to our feelings and bearing the consequences of possible rejection.

We also avoid the risk of being abandoned and generally try to reduce risks to a minimum, to a zero. In this way, we also protect ourselves from the inconveniences associated with creating a new relationship.

We avoid getting close to people, so at least we know what to expect from them — nothing. Denying love protects us from the anxieties that come with it.

Love and intimacy often bring with it a sense of a loss of control. They raise the agonizing and frightening questions about who we are, whether there is anything wrong with being just the way we are.

Love, closeness, and commitment to people are actually the biggest risks a person can take. They require honesty, openness, vulnerability, trust, responsibility and a willingness to accept others and ourselves.

Love is a source of joy and warmth, but sometimes it requires us to be willing to bear the pain and emptiness that we often carry with us.

For this reason, some of us prefer to run away from intimacy and the risks associated with it.

One can reject intimacy and love in many ways.

We purposely push people away or cause them pain in order to drive them away from us forever. We delude ourselves with all kinds of ridiculousness, thus trying to convince ourselves that we do not want to maintain a close relationship with anyone.

We find fault with all the people we meet and reject them before they even think to reject us. We put on masks and pretend that we are not who we really are.

We squander our energy and emotions on all kinds of superficial relationships, thus failing to get close to anyone. We create artificial connections from which no particular closeness can really be expected.

We play different roles instead of behaving naturally. We withdraw emotionally from already formed relationships. Sometimes we reject intimacy simply by refusing to be honest and open.

Very often we are so paralyzed by fear that we can neither start a new relationship nor enjoy our existing relationships. Often, we literally run away from any situation where love or emotional intimacy might happen.

We run away from intimacy for many reasons.

Some of us have simply never learned how to handle intimacy in our relationships. In such families, closeness is something uncertain, something that no one teaches anyone, and sometimes it is even forbidden because as soon as it happens you reveal a weakness that would be surely exploited.

Thus, for many people, excessively caring for others and substance abuse have become a substitute for intimacy. Others have allowed themselves to experience intimacy several times but have gotten hurt and eventually stopped doing so.

That’s why they’ve decided /knowingly or not/ that it’s better not to commit to anyone, as a possible closeness could hurt them yet again. Closeness with people often seems frightening and dangerous to us, but this is not so.

Achieving and maintaining closeness should bring us positive emotions — we just need to relax and let it enter our lives.

We need to allow love and closeness to ourselves and feel a pleasant feeling from giving and receiving love.

Each of us is capable of deciding whom to love and when to do so. It is quite normal to be who we are in front of others. Take that risk. Trust yourself.

You have the strength to overcome the difficulties and painful moments that are almost inevitable when creating a new relationship. You are able to behave openly and honestly and not to deceive yourself. You have the strength to deal with pain and rejection.

You can love without losing yourself and your personal boundaries. You are capable of loving and at the same time think rationally.

Please, support us at:

[zenmai--jikake--no--komoriuta]

MiqoMarch'24, Day #14: - dark -

Even as the vaunted Warrior of Light (and Darkness), D'nyr is not a perfect infallible individual-- the reliable outward persona the wider populace knows is just like the surface of a lake. They might see the ripples of his personal trauma on the otherwise still surface from time to time, but rarely do they get to see below the waters to know the root cause of his struggles…

Flaws: ◎ Is often a doormat to other’s whims and demands, compromises way too often for others’ sake at the expense of his own . Too trusting of others at times, assumes the best of people until proven otherwise . Borderline obsessively unwilling to injure innocents, accidental or otherwise-- will do whatever he can to prevent this (even if it puts him in lethal harm doing so), and shuts off emotionally if these kinds of casualties are incurred by his hand . Cold and unrelenting fury when properly angered (a very hard thing to accomplish but when it happens, oh boy) . Bottles things up entirely too much (it takes a lot of pressure to cause him to unload on others)-– thinks too much and never says enough, and is prone to the occasional bout of regret-filled melancholy over it . Repressing wayyyyy too many things, for a variety of reasons (his feelings towards others (loneliness, anger/the need to lash out sometimes, not always saying how he feels, his dislike of others putting him on a pedestal, etc.), towards the world at large (eg. the fragility of life, futility of some things, etc.) and towards his unfulfilled hopes and wants (to live unfettered by responsibility to the world, to settle down with a family of his own someday, etc.)) Struggles With: . Communicating and social interaction in general . Committing to and prioritising too many tasks at once (he’ll try to give them all his best effort and end up running himself into the ground or running out of time) . Struggles to form strong, lasting connections with others-- he finds it hard to make a genuine connection when he’s always on the move as an adventurer, taking him far away from anyone he gets close to… should someone be persistent enough to keep in touch in spite of that, he would let them in… but as he's (metaphorically) cursed to wander and never settle, that's a tall order that may never come! Fears & Insecurities: . Powerlessness/loss of control . Hurting or causing harm to anybody dear to him (no matter whether emotionally, physically, etc.) . Loss of those he’s grown fond of (via death, abandonment, temporary separation, etc.) . Rejection (social or otherwise) . Failure . Speaking to new people . Fame . Loud noises Phobias: ◎ Fanged clams ◎ Suffocation ◎ Sustaining grievous injuries to his hands (beyond just breaking bones)

(the formatting is driving me bonkers; every possible way I have tried to make it stay consistently subscript it just goes and turns another few letters normal again elsewhere, so apologies for the weird text sizing! it's been 15mins and I am at my wit's end lol)

[rezzyromance]

Could I request Heisenberg with a female s/o who's negatively pent up from anxiety and depression and feeling like they're not good enough for Karl but they always put on a brave face to not look weak? They just want to make him happy and proud maybe maybe when they're either fucking or just working, maybe he says an offhand comment that hits home, idk being called useless is a good one to feel like being stabbed. They love him but they've been hiding all their mental struggles and bottling it up be a use they always focused on him first? Mental health feels neglected rn and could use the hurt/comfort if you're okay with this! Up to you if you want to add smut or not, with or without is great

Of course, baby. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the story. (CW: Hurt/Comfort, mentions of anxiety and depression. Sexual scenarios: Fingering, face riding, praising, general NSFW)

Living with Karl is a task that can be mentally taxing on anyone. For you, this wasn't an exception. There was no doubt in your mind that you loved him, but that dragged along a few issues with it. You loved him so much, that you constantly felt an unbearable pressure that pushed you to attempt to impress him out of fear that he may view you as inferior to him. Karl is without a doubt strong, insanely intelligent, passionate, and all around tremendously powerful. Often times you wondered why he even keeps you around.

You had grown very close with him over time. He never put a real title on your relationship, but you both knew that he loved you. He loved you enough to let you help out on his work. He assigned little tasks for you to do such as organizing his blueprints, creating blueprints, and organizing his tools. Each time you did something, he would reward you with praise. Sometimes the praise would be heart to heart while other times it may be skin to skin. While the praise he provided felt rewarding, you began to worry what may happen if your work wasn't good enough. What if you weren't good enough? What if he stopped finding you useful or attractive? These troubling thoughts had been torturing you recently. But, you kept it all bottled up, worried that he may view you as weak if he knew you were so afraid of failure. Whenever you would work on something, you would sit there for hours on end. Nothing could stop you until you were finished. You did this as a way to imitate Karl and his tireless work. Though, Karl does have powers that help keep his body from shutting down the way yours does. That didn't stop you from constantly pushing yourself overboard, though.

A knot grew larger and larger in your throat as you attempted to sketch out a new blueprint, slouching while sitting on your bed. He had asked you to work on it that morning and it was nearly midnight now. The lines were uneven, your hand writing was messy, and it was easy to see where you had erased and redrawn a lot of little details all over the paper. A single tear fell from your eye and onto the paper, causing a wet spot where the ink began to smear. You ignore your body and minds cry for help by quickly wiping your eyes and acting as if it didn't happen. Your hands were shaking as you applied more details, not being close to finish. Your eyes were twitching, fed up with staring down so harshly at the paper for so long. Suddenly, the door to the room opens.

You jump and face the door, realizing how cramped your neck was from your poor posture. Karl entered the room, obviously tired from a long days work. His eyes looked heavy and he was running his hands through his hair. "Still working on that blueprint, buttercup?", he asks as he walks towards you. You look back at the paper and realize how low quality it was, along with unfinished. You quickly hold the paper to your chest, attempting to block it from him. 'Um it's almost finished I swear! I just n-need to add a few more little details.", you assure him. He holds his hand out. "Let me see.", he raises an eyebrow and begins to wiggle his fingers. You attempt to swallow the knot in your throat as you shakily hand it over.

Your hands clutch each other tightly, digging what's left of your bitten nails into your skin. His eyes scan each inch of the paper and his eyebrows begin to furrow. "What.. is this?", he looks over to you. "What?", you're voice is shaky and cracking, but you attempt to cover it up by clearing your throat. "(Y/N)... you've been in here all day and THIS is all you could do? What have you been doing all day?", his voice began to grow into a semi-shout. It felt like thunder as it shook your body. You take a deep breath, attempting to toughen up to his words. "I really did try! I did exactly what you told me an-" he cuts you off before you can finish. "Really? You did exactly as I told you?! You said you could have this done by tonight and i trusted your judgement. But (Y/N) this shit is useless!"

He continues to fuss, but it was all silent to you. All you could hear was the echo of his voice saying that word. "Useless." The one thing you feared of becoming. The one thing you feared of creating. Your balled fists begin to shake. Your lip begins to quiver and your eyes grow cloudy.

"I'M SORRY!", you cry out before looking down at the floor, failing to control your tears as they fell to the floor. Suddenly, your eyes began to flood. Your stomach and heart felt like they were twisting and turning with guilt. He froze, unsure of how to handle this sudden outburst. "Was I too harsh?", he thought. "I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO BE GOOD ENOUGH. GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! I'VE TRIED TO PERFECT YOUR WORK. I'VE TRIED TO LOOK MY BEST EVERY DAY! FOR YOU! I'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOU'VE TOLD ME TO!", your whole body shakes as you break down. "I never told you that you had to do any of that! What the hell have you been pushing yourself so hard for?", his tone was still stern, but he wasn't angry. He was very concerned, but had no idea how to express it. "I WANTED TO MAKE YOU PROUD!", you continue to cry.

The room was silent other than your quiet sobbing. He didn't know what to say. He had no clue that you had put so much pressure on yourself to impress him. He had no idea on why it mattered so much to you. And in that moment, something in him began to ache. He remembered being like that once. So dead set on making others proud of him no matter what it took. He had no clue what to say due to no one ever being there for him in his time of struggle, so instead he goes for a more physical approach.

He grabs you by the arm and pulls you to his body, holding you close. You bury your face in his chest to try and muffle your cries. He runs his hand through your hair, still confused as to why you pushed yourself so hard for him. "I just..", you sniffle. "I just wanted to be good enough.. for you...", you say as you try to stop crying. He lifted you up, carrying you bridal style to the bed. He crawled up and sat his back against a pillow, continuing to hold you close as you buried your face in his neck.

"Look at me.", he held your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger and waited for you to face him. You sniffle and pull your head up to meet him eye to eye. There was a new look in his eyes. Something unfamiliar to the both of you. Tenderness. "You are good enough. And I am so proud of you. Everyday you make me proud. Every time I look at you I'm proud.", he begins to wipe the tears from your face, struggling to find the right words to say. "Look. You don't need to overwork yourself. The fact that you stick around with me to begin with is enough for me." A small smile begins to grow on your face. The sight warms him and helps reassure him that he didn't say anything dumb.

Once you've seemed to calm down, he pulls you in for a kiss. It was warmer than usual. Softer than usual. And Karl isn't a man known for being soft or gentle. But this kiss was far from rough, but just as passionate. It was reassuring and safe. He pulls away and smiles at the sight of your now blushing face. "There's my pretty girl. Now, if you feel like it... since we're already on the bed.. I think I know a thing or two you can do if you still wanna feel useful.", he offers with a sly grin. You giggle and begin to straddle his lap. "Sounds good to me." you say as his hands start to wander around your hips.

"But, we're gonna be doing something different.", he says as his eyes scan every inch of your body. "What's that?", you go to unbuckle his belt but he grabs your wrist before you can continue. "Tonight's all about you. I wanna make you feel good.", he says. During every sexual situation you've had, you had focused on pleasing him first, not thinking about yourself and your own wants and desires. You don't object, so he moves his hands back to your hips and pulls you off of his body, effortlessly tossing you onto your back on the bed.

He then pins himself above you, towering over you. Your heart races at the new experience and your face glows more and more pink. His eyes meet yours and the sight alone is enough to start making your panties grow wet. He lowers his face down to your neck where he begins to place little kisses. Chills run through your body like ocean waves and you let out a quiet gasp as a kiss turns into a nibble. A hickey begins to form and he lets go, moving his mouth to your ear. "I want you to tell me what you want, buttercup." he whispers in your ear as one of his hands begins to wander across your body. It starts up near your breast where he fondles it gently, earning a lip bite from you. Then, he goes lower to your stomach where he scratches lightly at your skin. You squirm beneath his hand. He smiles and begins to kiss you once more before going even further, slipping his hands into your pants and cupping your vagina through your soaking panties. You gasp while your lips are still connected and he gently tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, pleased at the reaction he's gotten from you.

"Is this what you want?", he slips two of his fingers into your panties and finds your clit, rubbing it slowly. "Mhm", you whine and press yourself into him. "Goodgirl.", he moves from where he was and makes his way down to your pants. He unbottons them and begins to pull them off. He throws the pants across the room and crawls back towards you on the bed. He removes your shirt and your bra underneath, throwing them in the same direction of the pants. He lowers his head down to one of your hard nipples and wraps his mouth around it, caressing it with his tongue. This causes you to moan quietly and grip the sheets beneath you. Your nipple was already so tender, so the feeling of his tongue was powerful enough to make you squirm. He lowers his hand back into your panties, rubbing your clit with his thumb. Your knees bend inward, trapping his hand between your legs. He chuckles with your nipple gently between his teeth. "Looks like you like this, huh?" You moan in response.

It didn't take long for you to feel a climax building inside you, coming closer and closer to exploding with each touch he inflicted onto your throbbing clit. Moans of all volumes filled the room as you got closer and closer. Then, right when you were about to cum, he stops. You groan in disappointment and look over at him. "I was just warming you up.", he smirks and lays on his back. "Come here.", he commands and pats on his chest, signaling for you to sit there. You do as he says and sit upon his chest. The second you sit down, His strong hands grip onto your hips and he begins to pull your body towards his face. He places you on top of his mouth. The next thing you know, your soaked pussy is being attacked by his tongue. You can't help but let a moan slip out between your lips as he closes is eyes, fully focused on bringing you maximum pleasure. He places each hand on each thigh, gripping them slightly all while his tongue swirls around your clit. You use one hand to grip the headboard of the bed and the other one to grip his hair, tangling your fingers in the grey strands. You grip harder as he sucks on your clit, causing you to throw your head back in pleasure. He let loose a few muffled moans and groans, causing vibrations on your pulsing clit. "Oh fuck Karl!", you feel your body weight sink lower and lower as you melt into the pleasure of his tongue. You begin to grind your hips back and forth, riding out your orgasm. He doesn't mind at all and begins to work harder to finally push you to your limit. With a loud moan, you cum into his mouth.

As you catch your breath and shake on top of him, he grabs you once again and pushes you over onto the bed. His beard was shiny around his lips due to a mixture of your sweat and cum. He looks down at your flustered and flushed face, pleased with what he'd done. You noticed a large bulge protruding from his pants. "I want you.", you pant as you reach over, massaging the hard lump. He responds by stripping, too breathless to verbally respond. Once he's fully naked, he makes his way onto the bed. You take him by the shoulder and pull his face into yours, initiating a passionate make out session. Your tongues caressing one another as you both toss and turn, ending up with you straddling him.

You rub his already throbbing dick, preparing for its entry. It was quite large and veiny. The hair that led from his lower stomach to his pubic area glistened with precum. You position yourself and begin to sit on his dick, letting it slowly fit inside you. Your extra wetness helped lube it. Once it was completely in, Karl groaned, grabbing your ass in his calloused hands. "Fuck.. you're so good.", he encourages. You begin to slowly rise and fall, letting your pussy stretch to comfortably fit his girth. You both moaned quietly. Once you feel comfortable, you wrap your arms around his neck and begin to bounce on it, feeling each thick vein add texture. 'What a good girl..." Every time you made your way back down, you could feel the tip of his dick reach your special spot, making your knees feel weak. As overwhelming as it felt, you couldn't stop. You continued to bounce up and down on his dick as his fingers grip your ass for dear life. "You're doing so good.", he praises you and you thank him by clashing your lips together, sharing sloppy kisses as you both moan with each up and down motion. "Such a good girl.", he begins to squeeze your breast, causing you to squeal and pick up the pace. It felt amazing, but your legs grew weaker and weaker with each motion, and he could tell. You were panting as you fucked yourself senseless on his dick.

"Wait a sec.", he gently pats your ass to get you to stop. You stop and rest your sweaty forehead to his, legs shaking beneath you. You didn't want to stop, but you weren't sure how much longer you could continue. Your legs felt like they were on fire. 'Let me help you.", his hands glide up to your waist where he clutches your sides and begins to bounce you up and down, continuing the motion you could no longer do yourself. You kiss him and whine into his lips as he slams your body up and down, grunting harder each time. "Such a pretty girl.." he pants. "Riding my cock so good..", he begins to slam his hips into you, reaching a point inside you that he's never reached before. You throw your head back and moan, tears of pleasure and bliss begin to form in your eyes. You're both exhausted and so close to finishing. You're whole body felt like it was numb and on fire at the same time as your climax creeped closer and closer.

And with a few more strong pumps into you, you both cum. He lets loose of your sides and wraps his arms around your back, drenching in sweat. You collapse on top of him, unable to move any of your body. Karl places a few more sloppy kisses across your face, his facial hair tickling your skin. "Don't you ever.. ever believe you're not good enough. Got it?", he pressures. You're too exhausted to form words, so you simply nod your head, laying down on his chest. His heart beat was rapid but soothing. Soon enough, it lulled you to sleep. He soon followed, keeping his arms wrapped tight around you the entire time.

[five-rivers]

@lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks came up with this op!Danny/Marvel AU!

BTW I need help naming this newest proof that I can't keep anything to a short little one-shot.

.

Loki was not, and never had been, a good man. For that matter, whether or not he’d ever been a good boy was debatable. His mother would argue that he had, but she would very likely be the only one. Well, except for Thor, perhaps, but that was because he was an idiot who could drown in three inches of nostalgia. Like he didn’t remember every time Loki had humiliated him. Maybe he didn’t, for all that he kept falling for the same trick over and over again.

It made Loki’s late nights studying the arts of illusion, misdirection, and lying seem redundant. Almost. Not everyone was as dense as his big brother.

No. Loki had never been a good man. He had, however, been a free man.

Free to run or hide. Free to explore the nooks and crannies of Asgard, to uncover her secrets in ways few cared to do. Free to walk hidden paths between the Nine Realms and even farther flung territories, where his people did not and had never ruled, to play games, make deals, have adventures, take risks. To be. To exist as his own creature.

He had been free. He had.

But on one of those little secret excursions, he had discovered something that had made even his flippant, slippery heart clench with fear. A ravening plague, spreading across the stars. The death of half of everything on the horizon.

Loki was not a good man. What cause did he have to care for all the sundry others in the universe? There were too many. It was too much to ask.

But Asgard—His home, even though the had long ago realized the blood in his veins originated on very different soil. That was different.

Asgard, he could help. Asgard could survive.

But it had to be strong. It had to have strong allies. None of this barely-held peace, this enemy eternally at their gates. It needed strong leadership. Not his brother’s simplistic view and longing for the glory of war.

Loki was not a good man. But he was one who could get things done.

Before he knew it, he had burned all his bridges behind him. In one case, a literal bridge that was literally broken.

And he fell.

And he fell.

And he fell right into the hands of the one he had feared enough to do this. Broken enough for poison to drip into the cracks. No one knew where he was, no one could know where he was, except, perhaps, Heimdal, and Loki sincerely doubted Heimdal cared. No one was coming for him. No one was looking for him. No rescue was forthcoming.

He was alone.

Asgardians were considered gods for a reason. Their bodies and minds were much more resilient than the average mortal’s. But Thanos’s people had been titans, and there was a reason for that, too.

Thanos enjoyed breaking him.

And Loki turned his lies on himself. A skilled master of games always had one gifted opponent, even alone. Hadn’t he wanted to rule? To command? To see a world, any world, prostrate at his feet? To be given the recognition and praise of which he was so worth?

To pull something, anything, out of the fire?

(If he had spent less time learning how to spin lies and more on how to see the truth, he might not have believed it. A better, wiser, man would have. But Loki was not a good man. And he was very skilled in his craft.)

So, his new master put a weapon in his hands, and he went off to conquer a world.

.

Danny was used to rude awakenings. He was used to those rude awakenings being full body chills and ghosts, not someone knocking on his door.

Blearily, he pulled himself out from under the blankets. Quasi-military government facility or not, the beds were comfortable. Maybe Mom or Dad had gotten themselves locked out of their room? Or Jazz—No, not Jazz, she hadn’t come with them. She was at college, not being flown places by Mom and Dad’s suspiciously generous new consulting job.

At least it wasn’t the GIW.

He stood on tiptoe (curse his perpetually short body) to peer out the peephole. His parents’ buff, one-eyed, and incredibly imposing new boss stood in front of the door, hands on his hips, slightly sweeping back his long dark coat. If Danny listened carefully, he could hear two other people near the door, and… was that an alarm? Yes. Faint, but present, was a warning klaxon.

Okay. Danny would bet his right arm that something had gone horribly wrong with whatever his parents were consulting on. Didn’t explain why the boss was in front of his door.

Unless they’d gotten the rooms mixed up, somehow?

Ugh. Danny wasn’t paid enough to deal with this.

He opened the door. “What-?”

“Phantom,” intoned eyepatch guy with great solemnity.

Danny immediately tried to close the door. The guy stuck his foot in the jamb, and, sure, Danny could have crushed it, but that would be a jerk move. He didn’t think this guy was going for a pirate look, after all.

“We need your help.”

.

“I’m not sure what you think I can help you with,” yelled Danny over the beating of the helicopter blades. He’d remained stubbornly in human form. “My parents are the scientists. This sounds like a science thing. Not a punching-people thing.”

“We spoke to them earlier,” said Fury, “and we have plenty of scientists working on the theories they brought up. You’re the one with practical experience.”

“Practical experience in what?”

“Interdimensional portals,” said the woman, who had yet to introduce herself.

As if this whole thing wasn’t already giving him a bad feeling. “My parents built an interdimensional portal. Again, you should be talking to them. They’re the ones you’re paying.”

“We could pay you, too,” said Fury, “but we assumed you would want to avoid letting your parents know about this, as you’re still a minor and they have control of your bank accounts.”

Danny stared flatly. “This is blackmail.”

“We aren’t threatening you,” pointed out the woman.

“Emotional blackmail,” said Danny, glaring, daring her to challenge him on whether or not he actually knew what blackmail was.

In the meantime, the helicopter landed. Danny unbuckled and hopped out, trailing slightly awkwardly behind Fury and the woman. He didn’t want to stand out, but he suspected that, being the only kid here and being in the general vicinity of Fury, who radiated authority, that was a lost cause.

“This is Agent Coulson. Coulson, this is Phantom.”

Danny’s mouth went dry(er) at how casual the introduction was. His eyes went nervously to all the other people running around the field. With all the noise, it was unlikely anyone had heard, but still…

“Can you not? Secret identity and all? Unless you’ve told everyone herealready, which, rude.”

Fury sighed. “How bad is it?” he asked Coulson.

“We’re not sure,” said Coulson. “That’s the problem. Big fan of your work, by the way,” he added as an aside to Danny. He glanced at the woman. “Agent Hill.”

“Background?” asked Fury as he led the way into the building.

“The first energy surge was four hours ago. Dr. Selvig’s equipment picked it up – He’s the head scientist on this project.”

“Dr. Selvig isn’t authorized to test,” said Fury. “We wanted to run his plans by the Fentons.”

“He wasn’t testing. He wasn’t even in the room. He called it ‘spontaneous advancement.’”

“It turned itself on?”

“What are the energy levels?” asked Fury before Hill’s question could be answered.

“Climbing,” said Coulson.

“Mr. Fenton,” said Fury, “any comments?”

“Look, I don’t even know what this thing that you built looks like or what it’s a door to.” Danny frowned as a thought occurred to him. “You’re not expecting me to fight whatever comes out of it, are you? Because, unless you’ve got a ghost portal down there, I can’t make guarantees.”

“It’s called the Tesseract,” said Coulson. “It’s supposed to be a connection to the other side of space. A source of unlimited energy. At least,” there was a note of humor in his voice despite the evacuation taking place around them, “that’s what the scientists say.”

“A door to space?” asked Danny, firmly shoving down his excitement at the prospect. “Like, a Stargate?” It was no good, he could practically feel himself sparkling. He took a firm grip of his core and reminded himself he might need to fight before the end of the day.

“Well, no,” said Coulson. “It’s this little… cube… thing.” He made a shape with his hands.

“Oh,” said Danny, mind still whirring. “You know, if it’s really a tesseract, it isn’t a cube in just three dimensions, so bigger things could come out of it than you’d think.” He’d seen some weird portals in the Ghost Zone.

“Well, right now, we’re just getting energy.” They entered a large room with an extremely sci-fi setup. It looked like they were planning to shoot some kind of laser across the room onto a platform surrounded by strange-looking panels. There were men with guns scattered around in what was probably a well thought out formation Danny couldn’t see. There was also a dude with a bow sitting up in the rafters. He frowned down at Danny as he noticed Danny noticing him.

“Dr. Selvig!”

“Director!”

“What do we know?”

Danny allowed himself to be distracted by the centerpiece of the room, a piece of machinery built around what was indeed a little cube thing. He tilted his head and approached, trying to get a better view of it around the people in lab coats and protective gear currently swarming it. He caught mention of radiation a grimaced.

It was unlikely to kill him, but, really, everyone here should probably be wearing more PPE. You never knew what was going to come out of an interdimensional portal, after all. Except trouble. Trouble was a pretty safe bet.

It was pretty. Blue. Reminded him a little of a blue raspberry ice pop. Part of him wanted to lick it. Which was stupid. He didn’t want to wind up half what-ever-lived-on-the-other-side on top of his regular ghost nonsense.

“Mr. Fenton?”

Danny jumped and turned, refocusing on the adults, who had multiplied while he’d been daydreaming. The guy with the bow had joined them.

“Mr. Fenton? Like the Doctors Fenton I spoke to earlier?” asked Selvig.

“Yeah, it’s—”

This, of course, was when everything decided to explode. Sort of.

The blue cube shot out a beam of energy that had more than a little in common with the Fenton Bazooka’s portal setting. The beam terminated on the platform, a portal rapidly forming.

Danny slid into a fighting stance, and barely even noticed as blue energy washed over the room, throwing many less-prepared people back.

Something shaped like a man stepped through the portal.

Danny did not break his stance. Still. “An alien,” he whispered, eyes wide. If they were friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space. If they weren’t friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space after Danny beat them up.

(Danny did not go ghost. Did not even think about going ghost. There were too many people here, and the space was too open.)

Fury attempted to negotiate. Danny approved. Not everything that came through an interdimensional portal was necessarily evil.

Except this guy apparently was. Go figure. He could also deflect bullets and was very good with throwing knives, which led to Danny having to pull several of the gun guys out of their own line of fire as well as the alien’s line of knife. Who would have thought an alien’s weapon of choice would be throwing knives? The energy-blasting spear was much more in line with his expectations.

The bow guy proved to be more competent than the gun guys. This didn’t really surprise Danny. Bow guy sort of had to be competent. Otherwise, no way would they let him go around with a bow. Like, seriously. A bow.

Even so, bow guy was fighting an alien and—

“You have heart,” said the alien, raising the spear.

Danny pushed bow guy out of the way, and his mind fuzzed out.

(The human part of it, anyway.)

.

Loki didn’t know what a child was doing here, and he didn’t particularly care. The boy would do for a hostage, at least. He had a mission he had to fulfil, or else…

Or else.

“Please don’t,” he said turning with a shadow of his usual lazy affect, vaguely insulted that the human thought he could be sneaker that him, “I still need that.”

The human went on and on, apparently burdened with the delusion that he was on the same level as Loki.

Loki was burdened with other things. A glorious purpose. Glad tidings. Freedom. What could be better than freedom?

“A world free from what?” asked the human.

“From freedom,” said Loki, and wasn’t that what he believed, now? Wasn’t that what he’d been shown? “Freedom is life’s great lie.” He would know. He was an excellent liar. “Once you accept that, in your heart—” He batted away an arrow and tsked. “Shield me, boy,” he demanded. Had Thanos misrepresented the scepter’s powers? Or was the boy merely—

A dome of green surrounded him and the boy, thrumming with magic the likes of which he had only seen once, in a tome thrice forbidden.

“Oh,” said Loki, almost purring. “You are interesting. What are you?”

“Half human, half ghost,” replied the boy, tersely.

Loki had never heard of such a creature. No matter. He’d be sure to make good use of him.

“Grab the scientist,” he said, nodding at the balding man who had been with his brother when he’d fought the Destroyer in the desert.

Loki wanted the archer. He seemed interesting. Useful.

.

Fenton was under thrall. Phantom knew what that felt like. A hundred feet under red water, trying not to drown, whispers everywhere. Pulling. Pushing. Prodding.

This was different, but the principle was the same.

Neither half of him could truly ‘fight’ the other. Fenton and Phantom were a single entity. Not two in lockstep. Even so.

Fenton grabbed onto Dr. Selvig, as ordered. Phantom made sure that was all they did.

“What are you doing, boy?” snapped Loki. “Follow me! Bring the scientist.”

And so, they followed.

.

Loki breathed. Acquiring Barton had been the right choice. The boy was powerful, but, perhaps because of his unique biology, did not have Barton’s presence of mind, and couldn’t have led him to such wonderful allies.

Allies.

These weren’t truly his allies. Nor were they subjects. They were…

Loki forced himself to breathe. He just had to follow the mission. Follow the mission, let Thanos’s army through. He’d been promised this world. He would have this world.

And then he could be… His mind stuttered over the next word, and he shook his head, trying to drive out the painful buzz of Thanos’s herald and mouthpiece trying to contact him.

He looked up at the drones bustling around, all according to his will. Except the boy, who stared at him, somehow managing to be both utterly blank and challenging at the same time.

He was alone, here.

He was alone.

But what did it matter? Bad men always wound up alone, and Loki… Loki could never be a good man.