#'I just don't like you' honestly king shit

[beef-brisket]

Angel smiled: I'll style it, and every sinner and demon will be looking at you, but there's only one that really matters~.

Adam scoffs: I can get attention very easily... I just don't know why he's suddenly interested.

Angel: "Suddenly"? Babe. He's been interested since you got here.

Adam: Don't be offended if I tell you you're full of shit.

Adam folds his arms as Angel starts brushing his hair.

Angel: I'm very offended. The fuck went on with you two anyway? I know the whole wife thing, but I think it's more than that.

Adam: Don't know what you're talking about...

Angel: Now you're the one full of shit. I can read people, Adam. And as much as you claim to hate the short, red, and spicy king, I have a feeling that's more of a shield than anything.

Adam scoffed: A shield? Seriously? No. There's no fucking shield. I'm not a pussy, I don't need shielding.

Angel: That's what every traumatized dilf says. News flash, big guy, you're in Hell. Not Heaven. There's not of that "men don't show feelings" bullshit. We're all human, we all feel. Even the big bad exorcist.

Adam: ...It doesn't matter. Not now. Honestly, I don't think it ever did matter...

Angel: And what's this "did"?

Adam: I don't know. Shit.

Angel: I think "did" is you.

Adam: I'm not "did". "Did" is a fucking loser... I'm not a loser.

Angel pulled out the curling iron and started heating it up.

Angel: "Did" had a big role to play, right? Seemed to be a bigger role than everyone else's. Maybe "did" was forced to push their feelings down to keep others happy. To keep others comfortable. Maybe "did" was told they didn't matter, maybe "did" was told to protect his wife from his best friend, maybe "did" was being pressured by Heaven to be the big strong protector, when there was nothing to protect anyone from.

Adam stayed silent, even when Angel started curling his hair.

Angel: Heaven put a lot of pressure on "did." Making "did" feel like they didn't matter because when they failed, they were punished more servery than the ones that actually did wrong. They let Lilith off easy, didn't they. They let Lucifer off even easier. He's a fucking king. Eve, well. I have a feeling that once she became self-aware, she wasn't too keen on Heaven's whole plan, right?

Angel was silent for a minute or so before continuing.

Angel: I think "did" is Adam. And I think Adam didn't deserve any of this. I think you were doomed front the start, babe.

Adam could feel tears pool in his eyes, but he tried to hold them off as Angel crouched in front of him, amd put his hands on his knees.

Angel: Babe. You hate so much about yourself. You're not an asshole or a bastard. You're pushing people away before they get too close. You don't want to get hurt again. But I think-.

Adam looks at Angel as he cups his face, and give him the warmest smile.

Angel: I think Adam deserves love. And another chance. We all want to know the real Adam. The Adam that's behind the shield. And, think of your hair as the first step to that. A small step for others, but a massive step for you. And that's so important, Adam. So important.

Adam wiped his eyes: N-No one's loved me for thousands of years... h-he's playing me, Angel. He's probably j-just going to humiliate me, like she did...

Angel stood and pulled Adam into a hug, using all three sets of his arms. His lower set rubbed his back while his middle set held him firmly, his top set ran their fingers through his warm, golden hair.

Angel: You've been fucked over so many times, and you've held onto that pain. Loves... amazing, babe. Being in that garden, being made along with two others who are learning at the same time as you, having them be named your wife, isn't love. You were new, you all were. That wasn't love, Adam. Not saying you'll ever love Lucifer, fuck, you don't even have to forgive him. Hold onto that anger and hate all you want, but I swear, you be so much happier without it. You'll be freer without it. And you'll ve giving one of the most important people in your past, another chance. And Adam?

Angel pulls away so Adam can look up at him. His heart breaks at how defeated and tired Adam looks.

Angel: If he fucks this up. Then that's his fucking loss. And if you ever want out of this place, I know you can make a name for yourself. You're fucking amazing. You don't need anyone to be you. You just need to give you a shot.

Adam nods and blushes as Angel pulls him into another hug.

Angel: Besides. I'd happily kick his ass for you~.

Blonde!Adam au!

It's stupid and I love it.

After dying and waking up again in Hell, Adam's demon form is how he looked in Eden. Exactly.

Blonde hair and all.

Before Adam went to the hotel, he was able to fine (steal) himself some clothes, so he made sure to have a hoodie on so no one would see his hair.

The only times he'd take it off is when he's in his room. He's craving that hair dye, but he's too shit scared to leave his room, let alone the hotel (he doesn't know that part of his punishment is that hair dye doesn't work on him 🤷))

So far, his hoodie has been working fine until one morning when Adam is sick and is late for one of his sessions, and Lucifer teleports into his room.

Lucifer: I'm sick of you doing nothing! I allowed you here because you're meant to be working your ass off towards redemption! Now, get up! The sooner you do that, the sooner you can get out of my realm-!

Lucifer pulls back the covers. If Adam didn't feel like shit, he would have fought back.

Lucifer stares at Adam. He completely forgot that blonde was his natural colour.

He touches a strand, making Adam groan and try to smack Lucifer's hand away.

Lucifer: ...And they say my hair is like gold...

So everything is the same but Adam is just blonde as a sinner? If hair dye didn't work he would get a wig lmao

Adams laying there feeling like shit and Lucifer is just touching his hair lol 😆

[fairyroses]

Truce?

— SMALLVILLE, “Hug” (1.11)

+ bonus

[starry-bi-sky]

don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au

this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--

his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!

So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.

Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.

Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.

And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.

Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.

Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.

He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?

Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.

Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.

They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.

Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.

He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.

His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.

Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.

It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.

He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.

Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.

He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.

He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.

Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.

It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.

It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.

"I've become my grandfather."

[dennisboobs]

:) i certainly have no issue dressing in drag :)

^guy who has no issue dressing in drag btw

glenn said that dennis' drag name is victoria von hemen btw

(Source)

[vonlipvig]

i still really love how lucian will only tell you a bit about his past if you lose against him in chess, whereas if you beat him he offers absolutely nothing. aside from being a neat little bit of gameplay (and you're probably gonna lose your first time anyway, what would the odds be of actually beating him first try? he is really good after all!), it's just a really good way of showing us his character, and even foreshadowing possible events.

he's a prideful guy! he keeps his emotions in check and is obviously a graceful winner, but he's really fucking pleased with his victory! he knows he's damn good, and having anton see that and acknowledge that must be pretty exciting for him, enough to lift his spirits and offer up pieces of his mysterious life to him. not only does he get anton's respect and admiration--something, to me, that is reciprocated, at least for now--, but he sees how important he is to anton, to the administration. his spot is secured.

but if he loses...well, he's kind of a petty bitch! again, he respects anton, of course, but...losing? him? suddenly he's not in a generous mood to offer any information anymore. it doesn't matter, obviously, but the fact that it bothers him just a biiiiit more than it should is so telling, and very subtly shows that the potential for betrayal is there, even now that he's completely on anton's side still.

i don't know, i love his petty, opportunistic ass so much.

[100-gar]

Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.

So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.

[turtlemagnum]

one of my favorite parts of strategy games like chess and advance wars is that feeling when you haven't quite won yet but the enemy has no real options so it feels like you're just sloowly wrapping around them like a snake. when all your enemy has is their king and you've managed to turn 3 of your pawns into queens, and all you've gotta do is get in juust the right position, and in the meantime all they can do is squirm. god, that's such a wonderful feeling. nothing quite like it

[kyros-tha-soldier]

King riku: *asleep in his bedroom at the palace*

Doflamingo: *BUSTS WINDOW OPEN*

T H I S K I N G D O M B E L O N G S T O

M E N O W

[mashkaroom]

i have carried 2 cups of soup and some food in between plates vertically in my back-pack back to my dorm without spilling a single drop! I can do anything. Specifically *through gritted teeth* i can do this stupid essay

[gender-euphowrya]

ik there's a whole controversy re: that catly game and its likely use of AI and all but can i just say

ai or not it looks like shit. visually i mean. god it looks fucking bad.

[fuckingrecipes]

Do you have advice on the art of sandwiches? I feel like i my best sandwich at home is still leagues below the worst sandwich ive bought at a restaurant

Since sandwiches are infinitely variable, I'm going to assume you're trying to make my favorite sandwich: the Turkey Club, sandwich style not sub style.

Your goal is to MAXIMIZE FLAVOR.

Thicker bread. Standard slice size for bread isn't going to cut it, here. You want thick-slice bread.

Sourdough, or French Bread not 'White' bread. You want it chewy, with a thicker crust. Hearty.

Extra-Heavy Mayo. Restaurants do not use standard mayo from the grocery. Extra-heavy mayo has a higher ratio of egg yolks, giving it a richer flavor and thicker consistency for both spreading and using in tuna or egg salad. It's also more of a warm ivory color, rather than 'white.'

Instead of yellow deli mustard, try a ground-whole-seed mustard. It has a spicier, richer profile, and a little more vinegar.

Be generous with condiments. You're making a good sandwich, not cutting calories.

SEASON your sandwich. Dust the vegetables - salt and pepper goes a long way! Dried oregano, onion powder, garlic powder are also champs. My fave is to take a spicy blend (like a fajita seasoning blend) and sprinkle generously over the mayo before adding other stuff.

Lettuce CRUNCH is important. Include the pale crispy parts in your sandwich, not just the soft green leaf parts. Use romaine and arugula, not 'iceburg' lettuce, which has next to zero flavor.

If you're using texture leafy greens like arugula, toss it in a vinaigrette before piling it onto the sandwich. The vinegar zing makes a statement.

The tomato should have a strong flavor of its own. Salt & pepper on ripe tomato is heavenly. Make sure your seasoning hits the tomato.

If you're adding onion, make sure the slices are super duper thin-sliced. Like, mandolin-thin. Translucent-thin. Red onion is king.

If you want it toasted, make sure the cheese and meat gets hot, but the greens/tomato/onion is added afterward so it stays cold and crisp.

Don't be afraid to STACK IT TALL. CRAM IT FULL! How many sandwiches from restaurants feel impossible to fit in your mouth at first glance? Most of 'em. Make it big. With the meat, especially, they often CRAM the meat in there. No single-layer of ham slices here.

It's ok to MIX MEATS. Fry up some bacon (extra crispy!) or crisp up some pepperoni and layer it with your turkey.

Once you're done, wrap your sandwich in parchment paper (not WAX paper, there's a difference), then slice in half. By wrapping it, you force all the ingredients to smush together and start blending flavors. This makes 'em all a little better and stops them from sliding around, so it's easy to get a bite with every ingredient at once, and stops the sandwich from actually falling apart.

--

Honestly, the biggest 'secrets' of sandwich making is:

MAXIMIZE FLAVOR. USE RICHLY FLAVORED INGREDIENTS.

SEASON ALL YOUR SHIT FOR MORE FLAVOR

DON'T BE AFRAID TO PILE ON MORE GOOD SHIT.

[childofaura]

LittleKuriboh’s being a virtue-signaling moron on Twitter and I’m just-

It’s the whole “Minorities should ALWAYS voice their respective races” argument and like... It’s the most shallow thing for him to say for ass-pats.

At least people are tearing his ass apart in the QRTs.

[love-belle]

every dead end street led you straight to me !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which no one knows how they're both each other's daylight.

or

for when you find the one you were meant to find all along. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // f1 drivers x platonic!driver!fem!reader // milo manheim x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - i am SO sorry for leaving u all but i had my finals going on and now i am DONE with school i just have my college entrance exams left and then im free free FREEEEEE !!!! i love u all sm thank you <333 i hope u like this !!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by milomanheim, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 2,528,519 others

yourusername me n baby boy

edit : he says it's baby MAN i disagree ☝️‼️

11,528 comments

username NAHHHH HOLD UP ☝️☝️☝️☝️

username who u calling baby boy 😞

username gf reveal his face we won't be mean to him pls pls pslase

username screaming what in the world in this

username y/n soft launching her man wasn't on my bingo card this year like OH KAY

username bf reveal when ‼️‼️‼️

username LMAOOOO THE EDIT

username cannot wait for the grid to be summoned and be Weird

landonorris i thought i was the baby boy

-> yourusername girl u r a problem species

-> yourusername he says u can be his baby boy tho 🫵🫵

-> landonorris no thanks

-> yourusername FUCK UUUU FUCKKKKKK U - the bf

-> username lord what is this

username speechless who is THAT

username milo 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 did u get lost 🤨🤨🤨🤨

-> milomanheim wdym i'm not even here

-> username gaslighter 🫵🫵

username cannot wait for race weekend it's gonna be sooooooo fun 🤞🗣️🗣️🗣️

alexandrasaintmleux the cutest 💘

-> yourusername no u 🫵🫵🫵

-> charles_leclerc stop trying to steal my girlfriend please

-> yourusername stop flirting with my bf maybe ?????

-> alexandrasaintmleux charles ?

-> charles_leclerc this isn't what it looks like

username y/n casually wrecking homes and stealing her colleagues gfs lile yasssss queen i support it

-> username support women's rights and wrongs 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️🤞🤞🤞

username madly obsessed with her this is life altering to me

milomanheim real life angel visited the angel store !!!!!!! employees must've been happy

-> maxverstappen1 biblically accurate angel but sure

-> yourusername i pray on ur downfall every minute

milomanheim "baby boy" wasn't even directed at me and i blushed

-> yourusername homewrecker vibes stay AWAY!!!! 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

-> milomanheim wow

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, alex_albon and 2,157,816 others

milomanheim ur in her dms i'm on google searching nutrient rich soils i'd keep her in if she was a worm

10,996 comments

username DEAD GONE DECEASED SIX FEET UNDER

username usually i don't get men but like,,,,,,okayyyyshajshsjsjsd haha hi!!!!!!!!!

username HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS

*liked by yourusername*

-> username MISS GIRL WTFFF

-> username no y/n get UPPPPP

username prettiest boy oh my god

username not to alarm anyone but half the grid is here and i am having Thoughts

username Y/N??? LANDO??? ALEX???

-> username my met gala honestly

alex_albon delete the caption before lily sees it 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

-> milomanheim let the queen know she shouldn't settle for less ☝️🗣️

-> lilymhe yeah alex you're being a 🚩🚩🚩 right now

-> alex_albon oh god

username ALEX AND LILY BEING BSF WITH MILO????? WHAT IS THIS????? WHAT WILL BE NEXT????? LEWIS GIVING HIM FASHION ADVICE????? CHARLES SAYING SOME INCOHERENT SHIT?????

-> username baby breathe

-> username FUCK OFF LUCAS

lewishamilton i see someone's challenging my paddock icon title

-> milomanheim watch your back hamilton (U ARE ICONIC I COULD NEVER U ALWAYS POP OFF KING LIKE EAT UP EVERY SINGLE TIME)

-> lewishamilton i really like you

-> milomanheim DIED

username i feel things looking at those pictures OH MY GOD

username no bc if y/n and milo are together i will simply combust bc HAVE U SEEN THEM???? I BI PANIC I BI PANICKED

username everyday i wake up and bless god for milo manheim ❤️

username the way i KNOW he posted this for y/n like just trust me

-> username girl they don't even know each other ☝️

-> username TRUST ✊✊✊

yourusername HANDS HANDS HANDS HANSD HSNDS

*this comment was deleted*

yourusername nice

-> milomanheim ty

yourusername i see the vibe we went for was "raided grandpa's closest that was in my inheritance"

-> milomanheim sadly the only thing i inherited

-> yourusername that and those genes 😮‍💨

-> milomanheim that too 🥰

-> username oh yeah they're dating alright 👍

yourusername the filter is so cool

-> milomanheim ahahahahhaa rhank y

-> milomanheim thank you********

yourusername 🦕

-> milomanheim why

-> yourusername cute

-> milomanheim yes u are

-> username THE GASP I JUST GASPED

username y/n's engagement under this post goes WILD like

-> username girlie really commented the most random bullshit

username i bet the driver's gc is going CRAZY rn

-> username somewhere on this earth there is a george russell yelling at everyone in the gc to keep it strictly for professional things

-> username russell george i am sorry they are putting u through that😞😞😞

username MILOOOOOOOOOO AND Y/N IM SCREAMING

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

yourusername added to their close friends' stories

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by milomanheim, maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 2,517,986 others

yourusername there are things (inappropriate stuff) i wanna say to u (my BOYFRIEND) but i'll just let u (my COLLEAGUES) live

11,962 comments

username she's so real for this

username speak ur truth queen 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

username her pr team is trying so HARD like i feel like they don't get paid enough to deal with all this

-> yourusername i'll take that as a compliment thank u

username the power couple and we don't even know who he is

-> username mama y papa

-> username honestly they eat up everyone with these pictures

username hidden and secret and private??? girl really picked out her battles

username LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE this for her

landonorris thank you because i saw what you texted him this morning and osc had to physically stop me from bathing with bleach

-> yourusername why are u acting as if u literally didn't just straight up ask us if we "needed a third"

-> landonorris LIES SHE LIES SHE'S A LIAR

-> oscarpiastri mate the entire paddock was there

-> landonorris details but like..........do u

-> yourusername do we what.

-> landonorris ............need a third

-> mclaren oh hello ! guess who just lost their phone PRIVILEGES

username screaming bc they're already parents

-> username he's an absent father but ok

username babe come home the kids and the cats and the cow and that goat miss u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username mother never misses

username lewis WISHES he was her

-> yourusername RIGHTTTT

-> lewishamilton roscoe's godmother privileges REVOKED

username f1 grid will never fail to make to laugh bc what do u mean lando asked y/n and the bf if he needed a third and what do u MEAN that y/n is roscoe's godmother

username live laugh toaster bath sayonara 😞

-> username felt this in my bones

milomanheim speak out ur truth queen !!!!!!

-> yourusername i did

-> charles_leclerc is that why he's redder than my car righOH MY GOD PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU

-> yourusername charles LOOK AWAY !!!!!!

-> username no bc

-> username oh

-> username she bout to be yelled at by her manager i can FEEL her anger rn

username that man better know how to fight bc the grid can and WILL come for him if he does something

-> milomanheim i am scared

-> yourusername uh

-> milomanheim for him i mean haha autocorrect

-> username did he just

-> username oh yeah

-> username all that build up and for milo to just

-> username guess who's sleeping on the couch

milomanheim before u say anything

-> yourusername i am SO disappointed rn

-> milomanheim I'M SORRY

-> yourusername :(( i had 3 months of soft/hard launch planned with annotations and notes

-> milomanheim we can still do that!!! anything u want!!!

milomanheim i love u

-> yourusername ok

-> milomanheim girl

-> yourusername wow ok damn i love u more then ig 😒

-> milomanheim ❤️

-> username fuck u both STOP RUINING SINGLE PEOPLE'S LIVES

-> username crazy about them

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 2,317,637 others

milomanheim something about how taylor swift said every dead end street led u straight to me 💘

tagged yourusername

11,628 comments

username I SCREECHED OH MY GOD

username we knew but OH MY GOD THE REVEAL

username and everyone cheered

username roman empire or roman empire

username THAT DOODLE IS SO CUTE WHAT THE FUCK I WILL CRY RN

-> yourusername it's how he won me over

-> milomanheim wait actually

-> yourusername yes 🥰

-> milomanheim i thought it was me saying PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE till u agreed

-> yourusername that probably sealed the deal 💘

-> username i love how he's so "golden retriever" bf and she's "just proud of him in whatever case" gf

-> username truly mom and dad

username i don't wanna hear bitches say love ain't real anymore bc how do u explain THIS

username taylor wrote that song for them trust she told me herself

username WHAT THE FUCK THE LEGO FLOWERS IM CRYING

-> username he set the bar so high it's a dash at this point

username in love with both of them honestly

username crying LOOK AT THEM!!!!!

landonorris how you've both grown up! i still remember the first time she saw you and cried to me about how fucking pretty you are :)

-> milomanheim OHHHH ????

-> yourusername im gonna jump u this weekend WATCH UR FUCKING BACK

-> username nah bc y/n is so real for this

username milo with that drawing is so "what if i told u i'm a mastermind"

-> username NAH HONESTLY

-> username bro prophesied his relationship

username if my relationship isn't like this then i don't want it 💔💔💔

username lord i see how kind u have been to others

username and adding onto my 252719262 reasons we have THIS

username all the love songs in the universe are about them fyi !!!!!!

username AHHSHSHSHDHSJJDJDNX 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yourusername also about how she said i wanna teach u how forever feels

-> milomanheim nah bc u will like where r u gonna go 🤨

-> yourusername baby we were having a cute moment there

-> milomanheim BABY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️😬😬😬😬🤞🤞🤞🤞🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯

-> charles_leclerc give him some time he's buffering

-> username something tells me that this is a very regular occurrence

-> oscarpiastri it is

yourusername my baby's fit like a daydream

-> milomanheim 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️❤️❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯🥰🥰🥰🥰☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

-> username what is happening

-> oscarpiastri just give him some time

yourusername not to be a hopeful romantic loser on the main but i find u in every love song i listen to so yea

-> milomanheim look at u being nice for once

-> yourusername boy i will block u

yourusername love u

-> milomanheim who love me

-> yourusername *i* love you

-> milomanheim ilyt

-> username NO HE DID NOT 😭😭😭

-> username bro needs to learn how to hesitate

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by milomanheim, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux and 2,785,159 others

yourusername if the whole world was watching i'd still dance with u

tagged milomanheim

12,628 comments

username GOODBYE

username this post right here your honour

username the way i teleported to the railway track

username SCREAMING SJSJTRBCUCJ

username pls block me b4 posting happy stuff (im so happy i cry)

landonorris you can't even order on your own sir DOWN

-> yourusername FUCK UUUUU OMG

username i just ascended to the pearly gates

username DRIVE HIGHWAYS AND BYWAYS TO BE THERE WITH U

-> username OVER AND OVER THE ONLY TRUTH

-> username EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO YOU

-> username i shed tears

username they're literally winning in life BOTH OF THEM

username NOT HIM PEELING ORANGES FOR HER IM GONNA SCREAM

username the orange theory is true and it's real because y/n and milo just proved it argue with air

username is no one gonna talk about how his name is saved as "mylo(ve) <3333"

-> username i had to take SEVERAL deep breaths so as to not break down in front of my family

-> username no one's doing it like them

username IN A WORLD OF BOYS HE'S A GENTLEMAN

*liked by yourusername*

lilymhe with me obviously 🙄

-> yourusername obviously

-> milomanheim 😧

-> alex_albon 😧

username if he doesn't stand outside my window with a sign asking when can he see me HE IS NOT THE ONE

-> username FRRRRR like stop‼️settling‼️for‼️less‼️

username going crazy over these photos like there's SO MUCH content

username y/n feeding us those milo crumbs

-> username nah she gave us whole PLATES with utensils and all ☝️☝️☝️

username i truly cannot wait for milo to be in her garage bc we all know that they're stupidly in love with each other and watching them giggling and smiling and laughing will be much more entertaining than racing

-> username nah bc bro doesn't know how to function with her around

-> username i don't even blame him bc that's Y/N Y/L/N

charles_leclerc how is this relationship gonna work when none of you has the guts to go and say that they got your order wrong

-> yourusername ur saying this as if alex hasn't been the one to go up and say that u asked for no pickles

-> charles_leclerc that was classified information

-> yourusername not anymore 🤗

username i live for y/n terrorizing the grid fueled by nothing but coffee and/or spite

username they're soooooooooooo disgusting im just gonna cry in a corner bc i do not have someone to peel my oranges for me and i have to do it myself like a common peasant

milomanheim i would peel oranges for u forever dw baby i got u 🍊🍊🍊

-> yourusername this is so sweet i cried stfu

milomanheim cannot believe i get to tell everyone ur my gf like OH MY GOD 😭😭😭

-> yourusername bf

-> milomanheim gf

-> landonorris bf AND gf ?

-> yourusername STOP ASKING

milomanheim wdym i cannot love u more than life itself 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 lies bc i do love u more than life itself

-> yourusername i would sacrifice max for u

-> milomanheim doesn't mean that much bc i know u would sacrifice him for a juice box

-> maxverstappen1 OH REALLLLLLLLY

milomanheim angel 🍒

-> yourusername no u

milomanheim u make me feel all golden like daylight

-> yourusername u make me feel all i like shiny things but i'd marry u with paper rings

-> username bye y'all this was fun

-> username brb i need to test if my toaster is waterproof or not

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine being pregnant with King's child and not knowing about it until you give birth

At a distant Beast Pirate base

You: [has been away from Onigashima for seven months]

Jack: are you sure you're okay?

You: [hunched over, grasping your sore back, and sweating profusely while trying to catch your breath] Yes, I'm fine, my sciatica is just acting up.

Jack: I think you should go to the infirmary.

You: [snaps] Dude, seriously? I said - [feels a deluge of fluid flood your pants] ... you know what, I think I need to go to the infirmary. In fact, you need to carry me.

Jack: bitch, you have legs, how about you walk?

You: [doubles over and shrieks in pain]

Jack: ugh [rolls his eyes and runs you to the infirmary]

Twenty-six hours later

You: [looking at your infant in shock]

Infant: [a beautiful chubby Lunarian baby girl with a tiny set of black wings]

Jack: congratulations on the baby! [walks in to see said baby] fuck... need to go call King.

You: ... kill the medical staff first, no one can know about her.

The staff: ( ' O__O)

You: Once you're done with that, can you please get us out here?

Jack: of course [turns to the staff and cracks his knuckles] Also don't tell me what to do. [gets to work]

You: [cradles your child closer so she can't see or hear what's happening, and laughs] Thank you for being so reliable, Jack.

Jack: I just... I wish you had told me sooner that you were pregnant.

You: I didn't know until today that I was pregnant.

Jack: How could you not know you were pregnant? That shit seems hard to miss.

You: We've been out at sea for months, I figure I was just the normal amount of nauseous, sore, fatigued, cranky, and hungry.

Jack: [breaks the neck of the last nurse] Ugh, now you get three weeks of seafaring with a newborn because I'm taking you to King.

You: Why would you think my baby would be safe with King?

Jack: [gives you a "bitch, really?" look]

You: ...

Jack: ...

You: Oh my god, he's a Lunarian too

Jack: How have you been fucking him enough to make a baby, and not know he's a Lunarian.

You: Do you really wanna know the answer to that?

Jack: You two are gross. I'm taking you to a safe house until we are ready to set sail.

At the safe house

King, via den den mushi: What do you mean you're pregnant?!

You: no, I said I was pregnant, not I am pregnant.

King: what the fuck does that mean?

Your daughter: [starts to fuss]

King: please tell me that is not a goddamn baby, I hear.

You: Yeah, sorry, I didn't know until she decided it was time to come out.

King: what color is her hair?

You: She's a newborn, she doesn't have hair yet.

King: [stumbling over his words] Does she look a little... Is she ... fuck... Is there anything off with the baby?

You: No, the doctors said she was healthy, especially her lungs. She came out screaming, it was so loud that she made the doctor's ears ring.

King: So she has your loud ass voice, great.

You: And she's got a cute little set of wings like her daddy.

King: oh, don't call me that... Are there any other features I should know about?

You: She's got your fat head, too.

Kaido: [cackling in the background on King's end]

King: Is that so? Jack, how long until they can set sail?

Jack: On such short notice, three days.

Three weeks later in Onigashima

King: Alright, let me see her.

You: [hands her over]

King: [lifts her up to get a good look at her] She has your nose.

Queen: [mutters] She really does have your fat head.

King: Get away from my child, I don't want you even looking at her]

Queen: I, honestly, never would have pegged you as the paternal type, but then again, I always thought I'd have kids before you.

You: You would have to have sex with someone to have a child, and last time I checked you couldn't pull any bitches. But also, seriously, stay the fuck away from my kid.

List of Up-and-coming works || Master list || Twitter| Kofi || Patreon

[r0-boat]

Whb kingley group chat and reader

Sfw and NSFW sprinkled throughout but this is mostly just crack

[Beel summoned Satan to the group chat]

[Beel summoned Mammon to the group chat]

Satan: Oh, are we actually doing this?

Beel: yur

[Beel summoned Lucifer to the group chat]

[Beel summoned Belphegor to the group chat]

[Beel summoned Asmodeus to the group chat]

Lucifer: an interesting way to improve political relations, very well My interest has peaked.

Mammon: agreed it would be useful to have all of you at my fingertips.

Satan: That sentence pisses me off and I don't know why.

Mammon: is there something wrong with having easy access to your possessions 🤨

Satan: Al'right adding 'beating your ass' to my list of things to do today

Asmodeus: kinky.

Lucifer: Asmodeus I thought you were on earth?

Asmodeus: I am, it's lovely here by the way, but the cell phone service is relatively lackluster compared to hell, so that I won't be talking here as much.

Mammon: speaking of my possessions Beelzebub You have forgotten Leviathan.

Beel: Actually no I haven't you'll see why.

[Beel summoned Leviathan to the group chat]

Satan: LEVI!!!

[Leviathan has left the group chat]

Satan: LOLOL

Mammon: I don't know why I'm surprised.

[Beel summoned Leviathan to the group chat]

[Leviathan has left the group chat]

Lucifer: if he does not wish to be in the group chat that much then don't add him.

Beel: nah cuz if he's not added then I won't hear the end of it later. That kind of shit drives him crazy.

[Beel summoned Leviathan to the group chat]

[Leviathan has left the group chat]

Satan: Wait I have an idea.

Satan: add him again.

Beel: Aight

[Beel summoned Leviathan to the group chat]

Beel: Levi is still typing quick Satan!

[Satan summoned MC to the group chat]

Mammon: lmao he stopped typing.

Beel: btw Thank you for that I was going to add them anyway.

Satan: no problem! Happy to help you annoy Levi

Leviathan: if you annoying Fucks what me to waste my time so badly then so be it!

Lucifer: That is not why you stayed...

Mc: ??? What's happening?

Satan: we planned a group chat about a decade ago and we're finally doing it. And we thought you would like to join us! :)

Mc: ooh! I hardly see all of you together like this!:3

Mammon: Master seems extremely happy and excited we will not disappoint you.🥰

Belphegor: 👋

Mc: Hi Belphie

Satan: Oh? did the king of sloth just wake up?? 😏

Belphegor: Actually i've been awake for the past 30 minutes my phone wouldn't stop going off

Mc: I'm surprised you didn't have your notifications turned off.

Belphegor: They were but i turned them on when i got your phone number

Mc: Aww! 🥰

Satan: regretting giving you a phone suddenly.

Mc: You can pry out of my cold dead hands♥️

Mammon: the current phone MC has is so outdated I could get you many more up-to-date models. Ones with advanced AI features are all the rage in tartaros

Mc: no thanks I'm not interested in anything with AI

Mammon: 😭 I understand Master

Asmodeus: I would assume that phones on Earth would have a hard time connecting in hell just as much as hell devices have a hard time connecting on earth.

Mc: OH! ASMODEUS! HELLO!!

Asmodeus: Hi sweetheart, sadly I won't be able to talk to you very often but we will soon have a more proper meeting.

Leviathan: I don't think Asmodeus and MC should be in the same room.

Satan: for once Levi, I agree with you.

Beel: they're combined horniness will be enough to take out heaven hell and earth

Lucifer: lol

Mammon: All hail King horny of the three realms

Leviathan: All hail

Lucifer: All hail

Satan: All hail

Beel: All hail

Belphegor: all hail

Mc: Y'all are such assholes

Satan: That's like 90% of my personality

Beel: you like it

Leviathan: demons are assholes and the sky is blue, What are you expecting??

Mammon: Master, I, for one, do not mind if you actually start your crusade.

Asmodeus: Don't listen to them dear They don't understand our power 😈

Lucifer: is this what an 'inside joke' is? It was actually quite funny.

Asmodeus: honestly I should be jealous of you guys, while I'm on vacation you guys are having all the fun...😔

Mc: Don't worry, will have plenty of time to make it up for the lost time.🫣

Satan: NOPE fUUUUCK THAT.

Leviathan: DIE.

Lucifer: ... I'll prepare your medical bed preemptively.

Beel: Make sure you film it.

Mammon: without me 😔 smh

Belphegor: y'all are so funny I think I might like it here.

[slackerlifewhere]

random thought #1

You know...I had a sudden realization as I'm starting to re-read the novel so I can catch up to the second part (I'm getting really impatient and I just want to read more of their chaos).

Despite how easy he makes it seems, Cale's natural charisma is one of the reasons why a lot of people are quick to trust him.

Like imagine meeting all these distrustful characters (Molan father and son, Choi Han, the kids, Alberu, the dragons) and have them trust, follow, and care for you for the whole story? And he also handles them like it's a piece of cake? He's "scared" but he sometimes lets them get away with doing stuff like a tired old man. Like I know it's a thing that his friends and family are so done with him being a chaotic little shit who faints every few minutes but imagine being in his shoes and dealing with all these dangerous and equally chaotic little shits.

That's basically impossible. It's extremely hard to do the same thing he did. If it were another person, they won't even last a minute with them. They'll probably experience different kinds of trauma or death or worse.

And this guy is completely oblivious to it.

I mean, if you know his past as Kim Rok Soo, it makes a lot of sense but even then, I don't think he was in the right headspace to notice his charisma in his previous world. He's so in denial about himself even in this new world though and I honestly understand why some nobles were so scared of him. Sand Ailan was right. He's like a king.

At this point, I don't know who's babysitting who, especially if you remember the mess Choi Han and Mary did when he was away. Or when Rosalyn did something explosive. Or the kids. Or Ron. I guess it's because he's so extra in the way he does things that it kind of hides how crazy the rest of the characters are.

At best, Alberu, Beacrox, Bud, and Lock are the "normal" ones in the group if you can even call anyone "normal" in this story. You can't change my mind. Even Eruhaben doesn't count. He's also a little shit from time to time and he's proud of it.