we're sitting under the stars on my best friend's balcony,
and everyone but us have gone in for the night. I've just told you, hazy and drunk, that my astrology app feeds me bullshit every day, and sometimes I'm weak enough to believe it. But most of the time it's bullshit.
I don't know why I told you - to you, the stars are lifeblood, or at least a personality gauge based on spinning planets and hair size. "Leos are known for their big hair," you'd said, maybe only a few hours prior. I can't remember why I chose that bone to pick - I think I've reached a barrel-scraping desperation where I feel the need to assert, over and over again, that 'I defy you, stars!' even though it would be much easier to say that mercury in retrograde may be causing my acute depression.
You pull up your astrology app. We're friends on there, and I think I remember checking our compatibility and feeling drawn to the sex & love section, but that would be ridiculous. There's something in the bullshit my astrology app fed to me that I read out loud in drunken amusement that resonated with who I am in your eyes, sitting in front of you under the stars. Your app tells you that you might experience a big change when the sun comes up, that you'll have to reach for it with both hands, and I see your eyes flick over to me.
There's a defense mechanism that locks in, underneath my skin, that acts as a human deterrent. I look at my best friend and there is something primal and soft that begs to lean my body against her and touch her with a casual intimate care. But when she laced her fingers with mine, pushing up against my stiff palm like digging through stone, I had to look away. She knelt down by her puppy and took my hand in hers, pressing my knuckles to her forehead to show her puppy that I am safe, that I can be trusted, but the little creature watched me like a sentinel behind my best friend's back, wary and right.
I think I told you it might be bullshit; I can only remember myself contrary in the string lights. You insisted that it could be true. "What if everything changes," you said, "what if it's right and today" - we were far past midnight - "and today the-"
"The world ends?" I finished for you.
I don't think that's what you wanted to hear, the careless laughing way I said it. I stared at the back of my best friend's house today, hours after you left, and I thought about fate. I bent over backwards and stared up at the stars, framed by the staircase up to the porch we sat. The world didn't end, nor did it change substantially, and I'll admit I didn't want either. I want to stay the same forever, but the goddamn stars keep moving.
I've played this game before, and I've been the one to lose every time. I'd like to say I'm a good sport, but there's only so many hits you can take before it starts getting personal, and I'm afraid my jagged edges are sharpening in preparation. I can't let you be another meteorite I strain every muscle to push to the top of the hill only to fall back in the same bloody crater. You have to understand; where you see fate in the stars, glinting just for you, all I can see is apocalypse.
(28 August 2023, 3:26 am)
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Hiii welcome to The Thing I’ve Been Working On For Far Too Long !!!! This is an edited map of my WoF Headworld!! This map fallows my personal lore / story for what happens post-books! There are far more ideas I have regarding new structures, how the land changes, etc. , but this was just generally for labeling major locations within each territory! My hope was to wrap this up before the Felid Guide drops so I can compare my map to the canon reveal of locations but I didn’t quite get there and there are still a lot of loose ends. Unfortunately I don’t have much time to work on this anymore and will probably chip away at it privately in pieces , but for now I wanted to share this bit publicly!
The info for the labels on the map are all written out below, but I have primarily complied information in a Google Doc for easier viewing and navigation!
Link to the Google Doc !
Under construction !! Im so sorry I’m stuck on mobile and Tumblrs post editor on mobile is actual shit. the formatting is terrible I’m going bonkers in here. Also it’s stuck sideways for some reason like girl pleaseee turn the other way!!! I will rb this again once I’m able to format it properly.
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