#''why am i here?'' girl after listening to the goddamn pig man thing i wish i could tell ya

[marvelousmawn]

can't believe nikignik is using the hallowoods to distract from his current situation. they're just like me for real :)

[fuzzyporcupine]

lead me with your hands tied | chapter one

chapters:

1 - 

summary:

In the midst of a crumbling kingdom at war, Levi Ackerman is commissioned by King Jaeger to paint a portrait of his overzealous son.

--

"You don't think I'm worthy enough to be the king?"

"No, I think you're a spoiled brat who would rather play with pomp and circumstance than save his own people from starvation," Levi spat.He was beautiful.

And Levi hated him. 

Hated the entire royal family, in fact. It was no subject of contention that the long-standing war with the neighboring kingdom of Marley had caused many of the subjects to feel the same sentiment. Too many had been lost in a pointless war that seemed to be nothing more than a glorified pissing match between two old men. 

The results of the near decade long conflict were evident in the starving bodies perched pathetically against the crumbling stone walls of the houses that once provided comfort and warmth. For many, the only things the homes represented anymore was a stark reminder of what had been unwillingly stripped from them. 

The carriage rattled along the stretch of the dirt road, plumes of dust traveling off the large wheels and into the air behind them. Sighing, Levi leaned back into the plush seat. It would serve him well to remember why he had been called upon to travel such a distance to confer with the King of Shinganshina, and it certainly wasn’t to help rehabilitate a long-forgotten populace. 

The journey from Mitras had been exceptionally uneventful. The poor bastard of a coachman who had the unfortunate task of escorting Levi to the castle had attempted some small talk at the beginning of their voyage. However, it became quickly apparent that Levi was much more content with listening to the wind whistle past his ears than the ramblings of an underpaid deliveryman. 

Three days later, they had arrived in Shinganshina, greeted by the cries of hungry babes and the moans of dying men. 

He had not traveled to Shinganshina since he was a young teen accompanying his uncle on one of the man’s dubious business trips. Levi remembers the life and energy that used to ebb from the streets. Vendors smiled as they echoed their prices into the air. Children laughed and dashed throughout the streets in a game of tag. Existence was peaceful, not this dismal skeleton of a life once lived. 

Levi wondered silently how the people would react to the news of his arrival. Knowing that the king was spending precious coin to commission an artist rather than keep his villages fed. He doubted they would be very surprised. 

The commission had arrived in the form of a letter, ominous and bearing the king’s crest. At first, Levi had been sure it was an order of arrest - positive that some of Kenny’s misdealings had fallen to his unlucky nephew. Half expected a unit of royal soldiers to be shortly following. However, instead, the letter contained a request. Odd for the King of Shinganshina, who usually seemed to only demand, demand, demand. 

The details in the letter were cryptic. All he knew was that His Majesty had requested his presence in order to commission his skills. Remembered the taste of bile in his throat at the mere thought of appearing in front of the king. He wasn’t afraid. No, more so disgusted. The royal family was nothing more than a herd of filthy pigs bathing in riches instead of mud. 

Hopefully, though, those riches were going to save him from the poor house. Contrary to what the fine silk waistcoat and dark wool breeches might lead one to believe, Levi had lost the last of his funds long ago. No one wanted to commission a painting in the middle of a goddamn war. No one but His Majesty, it seemed. 

Regardless, who was he to deny a king?

A dead man, Levi thought.

“We’re approaching the gate, sir.” The coachman declared, voice muffled by the sound of hooves against the dirt. Icy eyes scanned ahead, spotting the extended drawbridge. The castle walls were intimidating. Despite the decaying state of the village, the fortress seemed no worse for wear. Grey stone walls stretched up into parapets, shielding the Shinganshina archers standing to attention as Levi approached the portcullis. 

“The defenses are quite impressive,” Levi stated absentmindedly as he glanced upwards at the battlements. 

“Ha! Thinking of storming the castle, are you?” 

“I’m afraid that I am hardly equipped to lay siege on Shinganshina,” Levi relayed, eyes drifting over to his bag of materials. The coachman’s shoulders shook in amusement as the carriage drifted beneath the large iron gate.  

Metal clanged and rattled the air as Levi observed multiple soldiers training off near the barracks. They seemed skilled enough for a group of soldiers who couldn’t seem to finish a bloody war. Levi’s fists clenched. 

“His Majesty will be expecting you this evening, sir.” 

Levi grunted, shifting to rest his chin on a still tightened fist as he observed the passing scenery. The courtyard was bustling, a sharp contrast to the village resting beyond the gate. Faces were brighter and spirits seemed joyful as Levi watched the numerous soldiers and servants converse. Maybe there was an end in sight, after all. 

They came to a slow stop in front of the keep. Like the rest of the castle, it was imposing. The Jaeger family crest hung proudly against the sides of the stone walls. Levi couldn’t help but sneer. 

He gathered his belongings, a simple brown bag that did the job of carrying his supplies. The coachman jostled the carriage as the hefty man jumped down from his post. As the carriage door was opened, Levi muttered his thanks, stepping out onto the cobblestone.

“You must be Mr. Ackerman.” He turned to find a woman waiting for him on the steps of the keep. She was a servant, that was clear enough from her attire. Strawberry hair was pushed behind her ears to reveal a petite, cherub face painted with a faint smile and large dark eyes. “I’m Petra Ral. His Majesty sent me to fetch you once he heard word that you had arrived.” 

Levi hummed, flexing his fingers around the handle of his bag. “A pleasure.” 

“I’ll escort you to your room to bathe. I’m sure you’re eager to rinse away the long journey.” More than she probably knew. The thought of sinking into warm water was enough to have his toes curling. 

“That would be most appreciated.” She nodded, turning on her heel to venture back up the stairs into the keep. His ankle ached as he trekked behind her, the result of an old childhood injury that never saw proper medical care. The sting was not usually this noticeable, but the joint was rebuking being sedentary for so long on the trip from Mitras. And when he finally reached the top, Petra seemed none the wiser to his lameness. 

The large and robust castle doors had been thrown open in anticipation of his arrival. Designed to resist even the strongest of armies. He paused, breath caught in the back of his throat as he contemplated the consequences of turning back. Of bribing the coachman with promises of future payment in return for a speedy voyage back to Mitras. Thinking of the worst thing that could happen should he void his duty to meet the king in the flesh.

Your head on a spike, that’s what. 

Swallowing hard, Levi continued forward, grip just a little bit tighter on his bag.

“Everything alright, sir?” 

Levi cleared his throat, “Wonderful.” Petra gave him a smile in return, but this one didn’t quite reach her eyes. Made him believe that maybe she had already seen through his facade.

The castle doors had opened into a large foyer, walls decorated in rich velvets and detailed paintings. At the center of it all was a grand staircase, cascading upwards into the higher regions of the keep. Levi tried not to appear too mystified. 

However, Petra did not give him time to gawk, moving forward toward a narrow hallway. He increased his pace, reasoning that this castle was the last place he would like to find himself lost. The destination was not too much further, only around one more bent hallway and three doors to the right.

Two servant girls giggled over the bath as he entered the room, steam emitting from the water below. 

“Ladies, I see your work is done.” The two girls immediately stiffened, faces blanched in shock. “Off with you then.” Petra waved her hand, the staff quickly shuffling out of the room and closing the door behind them. “Will you need any assistance bathing, sir?”

Levi almost swallowed his tongue, tips of his ears warming in embarrassment. “Absolutely not.” 

Petra muffled a chuckle behind her hand. “As you wish, sir.” He adverted his eyes from her seemingly all-knowing gaze. He had hardly spoken a few words to the woman, and he already felt like she knew too much. “I shall take my leave. I will return once you are finished bathing, sir.” Levi nodded, placing his bag next to a large brown coffer. 

The door opened with a quiet creak and closed with the same tune. A rush of air left his lungs as soon as he felt sure he was alone. 

“Shit,” he whispered, pulling his cravat free from his throat. Placing the fabric neatly over the furniture, he began to undress. Peeling away layers of clothes that symbolized something he never was. Probably never would be. 

Levi cringed. 

If he were a superstitious fool, he would believe this was all fate setting up some great challenge. Sending him into the lion’s den, as it were, to face the ones so despised and loathed. He was nothing more than an artist, though. An artist here to collect a sum of coin and return back to Mitras a richer man. 

As he sunk into the bathwater, he continued to remind himself even as images of the near dying flashed across his mind. An artist - nothing more nothing less. 

An artist who wanted to kill the king.

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

i’m falling again (Bakugo Katsuki X Reader) (sad ending)

Guys... Harry Style’s newest song is... heartwrenching and I fucking love it, it’s such a tearjerker and I love it so much, I NEEDED to write something with it... it’s that good and it made me cry... >.< </b>

Think of this as an extra to my ‘Dump His Ass’ series that I never expected to become oddly popular!! Thanks you guys!! <3</b>

However, while I love me some angst, I think after I’m done with this I’ll hafta write another fic with a happier ending, but for now... here’s the sad ending!! :3 

FROM: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/188898319229/i-needed-to-lose-you-to-love-me-bakugou-katsuki-x

Summary: Bakugo isn’t known for his soft heart, but when he saw you kissing another man, it physically hurt...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olGSAVOkkTI

Nothing hurt or scared Katsuki Bakugo.

Nothing. 

He’s been strong and brave-hearted since he was a child, fearless by nature he didn’t let anything get to him and never showed any moment of weakness and never cried about anything, no temper tantrums didn’t count. 

He wasn’t afraid of the dark as a child, he wasn’t afraid of the bullies who were bigger than him. His fear didn’t waver as he got older and stronger. Because he wasn’t afraid of the villains who attacked him and his classmates at the USJ. He wasn’t even scared of the villains who captured him at the summer camp.

They held him captive and tied him up so he couldn’t escape or try to fight back, he wasn’t scared then. Nothing could get to him. Nothing could make him break down, he didn’t cry when he got his first shot at the doctor, he didn’t cry when those older kids fought with him, he didn’t cry when he wiped out on his bike and hurt his ankle. 

He didn’t cry and he wasn’t afraid of anything. 

Aside from maybe getting nearly possessed by that Sludge Villain, and then All-Might going into retirement. Those were the only two moments in his life that probably scared and internally harmed him the most to bring him to tears.

However...

There’s only one person who really knew how much that scared and hurt him. And that person was you, his beloved girlfriend. Even when he didn’t want to, because Bakugo didn’t open up to people, it wasn’t in his nature. Still, somehow you knew everything about him, and even enabled him to open up to you on the rare moments where he would let you see even a SMIDGE of vulnerability from him because he trusted you.

You were always more openly emotional than him, so much it was annoying especially when you would just chat and chat about something you loved whether it was a movie, a TV show or something he thought was dumb. Still, he listened to you, and God he wished he did more of that. But he especially listened when you were being vulnerable and opening up about everything. Ever since you and him were kids, he’s had a soft spot for you and actually let you open up.

You knew him, you trusted him, you loved him. And he knew you, he trusted you, and he loved you.

But then you dumped his ass, told him what a shitty boyfriend he had been and said you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him for several months as you avoided him, froze him out and showed how little you needed him because he failed you.

Now that both terrified him and hurt him...

I'm in my bed And you're not here And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands Forget what I said It's not what I meant And I can't take it back I can't unpack the baggage you left

It’s been almost half a year since the two of you have broken up, and only recently you and Bakugo got some closure and you didn’t take him back. And honestly, Bakugo knew that was nobody’s fault but his own. He hated admitting it to himself but he knew there was no one else to blame but himself.

As he lied in his bed, he tried his hardest to ignore the fact that you still weren’t with him. Valentine’s Day wasn’t long ago, but he didn’t buy you anything because you and him weren’t together anymore. 

The worst part? He didn’t even get you anything LAST Valentine’s Day because he said it was stupid, commercialized and a game that you shouldn’t have played into even as you gave him those chocolates and even a card that he still secretly kept.

He really was a shitty boyfriend. He realized that the more he lied down with an anguished scowl and growled. Bakugo was aware that he could have been a better boyfriend, but the breaking point was when he called you something he swore he’d NEVER call you.

That’s why you left him. You put up with his bullshit long enough, you could handle him being a jerk, saying ‘no’ to spending time with him, but then he insulted your appearance, your weight, and your interests. The same things all the assholes from school used to insult you for, the assholes HE protected you from.

“Dammit!!” He yelled at no one but himself, “You fucking idiot!!” Even though you said that the two of you could still be friends, Bakugo wished for more than that. He wanted you back...

He wanted you back so fucking much even though he knew he didn’t deserve you. Bakugo refused to shed any tears even as he eventually closed his eyes...

“I dump your ass!”

“WHAT?!”

“You heard me. I. DUMP. YOUR. ASS!” You enunciated the words slowly and deliberately to annoy him and he was extremely indignant and appalled that you were… seriously breaking up with him?! HIM?!

“You’re dumping me?!”

“What the fuck do you think I said it two fucking times!!” 

“You’re not seriously breaking up with me over a fucking insult?!” Bakugou’s pride started talking for him though, because he refused to let you bruise his ego by dumping HIM.

“Yes I am Katsuki, and that’s not the only reason… It’s because you’re also selfish and mean! You’re the worst boyfriend ever and I’ve put up with your shit plenty of times but this is just WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH! What you said is just too fucking much for me to even put up with, you’ve completely broken me down I feel like shit and I’ve HAD it and I’m dumping your ass!”

...

“You called me ‘fat’, ‘ugly’ and ‘lazy’ Katsuki. There’s nothing to talk about.” 

“I did NOT call you ugly!” Bakugou replied defensively, aware that he called you ‘fat’ when he really shouldn’t have and he didn’t deny it, but he did NOT call ugly at all. He never thought you were ugly, but you didn’t believe him.  

“Yeah you did… you implied it.” 

“No, I didn’t you idiot! I said shit I shouldn’t have but I never once called you ugly and I didn’t fucking imply it either!”

“You know I’ve been struggling with my self-image and my weight for years Katsuki, and yet you go and say all the things people from school had said to me for years, the people who made me feel ugly, so… you must think I’m ugly if you would say what they’ve been calling me…” 

“I don’t think you’re ugly…” His voice came out as a soft growl, but you shook your head, “Then you wouldn’t have said what you did… it’s okay… I’ve known it for years… well you know what? You’re free now, you don’t need some ugly, fat girl like me dragging you down, maybe now you can go out with that chick from Shiketsu High now..”

...

“How fucking long are you going to punish me (Y/N)?! HOW FUCKING LONG?! ARE YOU REALLY STILL PISSED OFF OVER SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED MONTHS AGO?!”

“Of COURSE, I’m still kind of pissed off! And for the record I am NOT punishing you, you narcissistic asshole, I’m TRYING to think about how I should forgive you for the things you swore to NEVER call me! Or if I even should forgive you! W-What? You want me to j-ju-ju-just… make out with you like its old times?!” You exclaimed with the same vexation that you had been keeping at bay ever since the two of you broke up, not seeing Bakugou’s narrowing eyes and shaking figure as he seethed when you once again, reminded him of the big mistake he made with you.

“I… I mean I… I can’t even look at your face Katsuki! Without… thinking about and hearing the words you said to me and the expression of anger and disgust on your face when you said that I was just some fat pig who was wasting your time!” Emotion nearly choked you up as you wiped your eyes when tears started to cloud them and you couldn’t see just how aggravated and distressed Bakugo was as he clutched his hair out of frustration.

“I FUCKED UP!! How many times do I have to say that I fucked up?! How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?!”

Throwing his hands up, he shouted that he had indeed screwed up, louder than before, frustrated with everything, with you, with himself, with the fucking guilt that just started eating away at him again.

“You can say you’re sorry all you want! I just… I can’t ignore the fact that you would stoop so low to say the same things the people YOU protected me from would say to me. Why did you do that?” 

“ARGH! Dammit! I don’t fucking know! I was pissed off! I had shit I was dealing with and I took it out on you but I shouldn’t have! I admit it!” 

“I just… god… here’s my real question… why are you such a fucking asshole to me?” 

“For God’s sake I said I was sorry for what I said all right?! I’ve said it a million goddamn times! I’m SORRY (Y/N)! I didn’t mean what I said to you! I want to take it all back because it was the worst fucking thing I could have ever said to anyone! Especially you!” He shouted his apology, the angry tears threatening to spill but you shook your head at this.

“I’m not talking about what you said, I’m talking about everything! Ever since we got together you’ve still managed to treat me like shit! Even before we got together you still treated me like shit, and yet it got worse when we became a thing! You hardly spent anytime with me, pushed me away when I tried to help you, made fun of what I liked, insulted me and called me other names for what? Cuz I’m a geek like Izuku, cuz I like geeky things and like to watch TV and eat sweets and say dumb puns and hang out with Izuku and Hitoshi, well I’m sick of it Katsuki! I’m fucking sick of it!”

...

“Look… Katsuki… I mean you no ill will. I still care about you, and I still love you but… I really, really don’t think you’re a good boyfriend…” You said a little bluntly but made your voice soften as he gasped quietly.

“You’re not a bad person… but you’re not a good boyfriend either… and I don’t really think that I can really return to a relationship like that… sorry…” 

“I know I wasn’t! But… look just… dammit (Y/N) I’m not going to say any of that shit to you ever again! I won’t fuck up like I did last time I swear!” He sounded desperate, as if he was pleading to you as he moved closer and you fought the tears starting to build in your eyes when he grabbed your hands. He would beg if he had to, he just couldn’t lose you.

“I love you.”

He said calmly and yet sincerely, out of pure impulse but that’s what he truly meant. He loved you and he just wanted to hear you say the words back to him. He knew you did…

“See that’s just it… I know you love me… I love you too… but… I thought you loving me was enough, at least… until… you said the things you did… now I know you’re sorry… and I don’t doubt that you do love me but… I started hating myself again when you said those things and it made me realize that… I need to love me too, I need to start loving myself… and I didn’t love myself when I was with you. I let you do that for me, and… I can’t do that anymore. It’s not fair to you, and not good for me.”

...

What am I now? What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? I'm fallin' again I'm fallin' again I'm fallin'...

Bakugo’s eyes snapped open as the memories played in his head like some kind of fucked up movie as he remembered every word you said, every tear you shed because of him.

And now here he was, holding in his own tears that he refused to let fall as he angrily wiped at his eyes. No, he did not and would not cry, and he couldn’t cry over spilt milk no matter much it fucking hurt. No matter how much he wanted to just sob and cry out for you to come back to him so he could tell you how fucking sorry he was.

Dammit he couldn’t fucking take it anymore. He got up out of bed so he can go to your room and knock until you answer. He needed you, he needed you now...

He outright dashed to the floor where your room was and knocked somewhat vigorously. No answer. Growling, he knocked a little bit harder but again, there was no answer.

Were you asleep? Probably, you were a pretty deep sleeper, but dammit, he wished you were awake to answer him. But then he froze as soon as he heard the tell-tale sound of laughter...

YOUR laughter.

Relief overwhelmed him as he didn’t even realize that he was running so he could find you and not look as pathetic as he probably did right now. He could still hear you, you were near. The commons, duh, you were a late sleeper and watched Netflix when you couldn’t sleep...

“That is disgraceful...” 

But then the ash-blonde stopped dead in his tracks and froze the second he heard someone else’s voice that wasn’t yours. No fucking way...

Eyebags...

“I know...! Oh my God... how humiliating... I love this show but it so uncomfortably hits close to home...” That was your voice and you were giggling as you happily watched that gross show Bakugo didn’t care about at all. Big Mouth it was called, on Netflix too. You were watching Season 3′s ‘How to Have an Orgasm’ to be specific and of course, it was hilarious...

Unlike Bakugo, Shinsou appreciated the show, and watched it with you as he had with other shows on Netflix such as Stranger Things, Kimmy Schmidt, The Good Place, and Big Mouth.  

“Tell me about it... puberty’s a bitch... still is to be honest.” And to make matters worse, Shinsou was laughing with you and it wasn’t the first time. Bakugo was never a fan of Shinsou, he knew you were friends with that bastard, but naturally he was jealous of him because it just seemed like you two were just so damn buddy-buddy and it was annoying.

And yet there was now, just watching TV with you, while he himself was probably the furthest person from your mind...

What if I'm down? What if I'm out? What if I'm someone you won't talk about? I'm fallin' again I'm fallin' again I'm fallin'...

“Hee-hee... okay~. What do you say? The Office? Since...” Sighing sadly and dramatically you raised your fist in the air, “Friends got taken off...? Or The Good Place maybe?” You binge-watched the entire series before the New Year, because Netflix took it off, but at least you still had The Office and The Good Place.

“Yeah... Friends is gone, but The Office is here for us. Thank God... So yeah... let’s watch The Office. I’d watch The Good Place but I need to watch Season 4 since it just came out but I haven’t seen it yet. And I’ve been dodging spoilers ever since...” Shinsou gave you a smile even though he was just as unhappy as you were when they took Friends off of Netflix.  

“All riiiight~! Hee-hee good idea... I haven’t seen it yet either, I’m waiting til we get the chance to see it with Fumikage, Yuga, Denki and Mina so we can watch the last one altogether~.”

Bakugo had no idea why he was still standing there, but something in him told him to just fucking move already and say something to get your attention so you could see him. He opened his mouth to speak but...

“Can you believe this show’s been out for like 15 years and it’s just getting popular? Like crazy popular?” You nudged Shinsou playfully as he chuckled a bit, “Guess they finally realized how great a show it is...”

Shinsou thought outloud, having gotten closer to you over the past couple of months and spent a lot of time chilling out with you and also training with you as well. Then there were days when you and he would just spend the hours gabbing away about things you both liked. 

“That’s true... some people thought it was uncomfortable... but then they started to like it... which is nice.” You smiled a bit even though you were kind of sad for some reason. The last few months had been... awkward. After all, you had broken up with your boyfriend and went through quite a bit of drama until you cleared it up and made up with Bakugo. You didn’t get together with him, but the two of you reached an understanding and were still friends.

You still talked to him, and you lost your hostility towards him and became more cordial towards him. Although you’d be lying if you said you didn’t still love him. But this was for the best, you couldn’t go back to that, and you were in a better place anyway. You started to feel better and you were able to use your quirk again to fly without your sadness holding you back. You were happier, and not only that...

“Like me.” Shinsou smirked a little bit even though it was a self-deprecating joke which made you roll your eyes. “Hitoshi... okay... you’re a little uncomfortable to be around sometimes, but that was like only in the beginning, you’re great! You’re super great... and awesome. I mean your quirk is so cool, you can fight and punch someone hard enough to knock them out now! AND... you also like Friends, The Office, The Good Place, Stranger Things, smart as hell and you’re nice... well, not nice, but you have a nice side... anyone who can do all those things and like all of that HAS to be great in my book.” You kinda poked at him a bit as he playfully smacked your shoulder with a little grin which made you giggle.

And Bakugo hated it...

“Oh yeah? Well... you’re giving me too much credit (Y/N)... Here’s the truth... I think... you’re great.” 

But Bakugo’s eyes widened when he heard Shinsou say those words to you and you blushed and looked at him with wide eyes that practically shined with stars in them. “Really?”

“Yeah...” He sounded kind of flustered but he didn’t really stop because this was something he needed to tell you even though his face was getting increasingly hot just saying all of this as he nervously scratched the back of his neck, “I mean... your quirk is unique. You made yourself fly, you gave yourself wings to fly, no one else did that but you, you used your quirk creatively and it shows even outside of that, when something bad happens, you managed to make yourself fly again. And you’re weird... in a good way, everyone’s so fake and plastic that they don’t even try to be who they are, but you’re not fake, you’re just... you. Even if you know not everyone will like it, you don’t try to hide it or change yourself for anyone whether they like it or not, and that’s just... great.... I try to do that, I make no effort to change myself but... when you do it it’s actually cool.  I guess... I mean... yeah I just... I think that’s all great. I think... you’re great (Y/N).”

Shinsou stopped making eye contact with you as he felt somewhat bashful, but only when he finished is when he finally looked at you and saw your (E/C) eyes wide and your cheeks flushed. Neither of you aware that Bakugo was still there, listening...

That stupid brainwasher was right... you were great but dammit... HE wanted to tell you that... HE wanted to tell you how great your were and everything else that you were. Beautiful, amazing, intelligent, powerful...

However...

You were so stunned by everything Shinsou told you that you didn’t even think, you acted on pure impulse as you quickly leaned in and you didn’t even hear the gasp coming from your ex-boyfriend’s mouth once he saw your lips on Shinsou’s.

And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again...

He was falling. Bakugo felt like he was falling as he watched you kiss that brainwashing bastard who made a startled, surprised sound once he felt your warm kiss. Yet Shinsou didn’t deter as Bakugo clenched his fists when he saw his eyes closing as he kissed you back.

He didn’t exist. You didn’t even see him and he knew it because you were lost in such a deep kiss with this extra and it fucking hurt...

He wanted to scream, he wanted to push Shinsou away and tell him to fuck off and tell you that he wanted you back, but he did nothing...

And he knew he was just a fucking loser because all he did was stand there, until his feet started moving as he turned his back so he could get the hell out of here. No, Bakugo couldn’t bear to see you kissing that bastard, he couldn’t bear to see that you had officially moved on.

He didn’t matter anymore to you, he knew it...

Nothing hurt or scared Katsuki Bakugo. Nothing. Except for seeing the love of his life kissing another man. He was a coward, a fucking weakling because now everything was hurting, his chest ached as he lied back in his bed. And he was letting this hurt him, but dammit... it hurt because he loved you. He still loved you and still wanted you here...

What am I now? What am I now? What if you’re someone I just want around? I'm fallin' again I'm fallin' again I'm fallin'...

You were his biggest fan,  his biggest supporter. Not anymore. He knew that... but he didn’t love you just because of that, he loved you because you were you. A dork, a weirdo, unafraid to be your loving and quirky self. You softened his heart and yet he let his own stupidity and asshole self treat you like garbage when you deserved better than that.

He refused to cry, but because he was such a damn weakling the tears just fell and betrayed him by streaming down his face as he swallowed the hard lump in his throat that was threatening to crawl up and make it’s presence known. His breath hitching as he stared up at his ceiling and his mind just showed the image of you kissing Shinsou.

Along with the image of him yelling at you and you ending it with him. It was all he could see through his teary eyes as a soft sob choked him while tears continued to fall and drip down his neck. 

Because you didn’t love him anymore, and you weren’t going to need him again and that fucking terrified him more than anything as he cried and fell back into his misery and wished that it was him kissing you, and wishing that you were here with him to catch him as he fell.

What if I’m down? What if I’m out? What if I'm someone you won’t talk about? I'm fallin' again I'm fallin' again I'm fallin'...

[def-initely-soul]

20,14 Smut Jin 😏

*I knew this was coming and still I…*

Bias: Seokjin from BTS

Prompt(s): #20 “Would you like to join me?” + #14 “Just one bite.”

Genre: Supernatural/Fluff/Smut/Explicit

Warnings: Sexual Contents/Smut/Unprotected Intercourse/Fingering/Orgasm Denial/Blood Fetish/Dirty Talk/Misogynistic Themes/Seokjin being a thoughtful king

Words: 5.3k (LMFAO what the fuck? hahaha)

It’s been forever since the two of you got into that little game of yours.

Into the game of teasing remarks that only managed to rile up the sexual tension between you two, the game of “accidental” touches that send goosebumps down your body and promises of what those hands could do and the game of lingering eyes, telling more about the underlying longing and desire than any words could.

Ever since the two of you met, you were attracted to him. Maybe it was because of his dark and alluring image, or maybe because he was “out of limits” as your best friend Yoongi had once said. Sidenote, he was the connecting link between you and the vampire boy but since you were merely a fairy, your best friend felt the need to protect you.

But even so, Yoongi’s stern warning wasn’t enough to keep you away from the tall, dark-haired boy. Actually, you don’t think anything would be that powerful. He is so goddamn handsome and inviting. One look from him has you ready to fall to your knees for him and no one else. One word and you’re ready to be left at his mercy.

You don’t know how he does it. But you’re hooked.

And you’re pretty sure he’s attracted to you as well if his staring at your ass is anything to go by. And he doesn’t even look remorseful when you catch him staring. All he does is flash you his signature smirk, one that’s full of promises of the things he can do.

But unfortunately, there’s a ‘but’.

Because, you see when Yoongi had that conversation with you upon meeting him, he didn’t waste any time in having that conversation with him too. And he’s a way too good friend to disrespect Yoongi’s wishes.

Or maybe it has something to do with him being a vampire? You don’t know.

All you know is you can’t get him out of your head.

And even now, at Taehyung’s party where you’ve already flirted with at least four guys, his figure is the one your eyes keep returning to every five seconds.

He stands at the corner of the room, one red cup of alcohol in his right hand as the other one rests comfortably in the pocket of his black jeans. Yoongi is right next to him, talking about something but he doesn’t seem interested in his friend’s words. Instead, his eyes are focused on you, hooded and dark as he takes a sip of his drink.

His gaze sends a chill down your spine, completely helpless under his eyes, not bothering to pay attention to the guy currently trying to get into your pants.

But unfortunately for you, the guy notices.

“Hey, are you listening to me?”

You snap your head back, thoughts hazy under the influence of his stare but you manage to focus on the werewolf guy right in front of you. You think it’s safe to say he’s pissed.

“Oh, um, yeah, sure…?” you mumble nervously and the guy sighs in exasperation.

What was his name? God, you’ve already forgotten.

“Jesus, it’s always the same with you girls, huh? You all believe you’re better and that gives you the right to look down on us? Well, newsflash, you’ll never find a boyfriend to treat you right like this! All girls are the same, never dating the good guy and simply putting us in the friend zone!” the guy goes on a rant that makes you really uncomfortable. When you first met him, he wasn’t like this. 

Now you wrap your arms around yourself protectively, feeling your throat closing up but nonetheless you raise your chin up to confront him.

“Wow, okay, good thing I didn’t pay attention to you or else I wouldn’t have known what kind of misogynistic pig you are!” you manage to say confidently even though your voice shakes.

The guy’s eyes glint in sudden rage, nostrils flaring as he steps closer. “What did you say, you little-?”

“I wouldn’t finish that sentence if I were you.”

The familiar voice surprises you and you turn around to find him staring at the guy with a polite smile. And yet his eyes are swimming in scarlet, an undeniable tone of threat lying in them as he stares ominously at the guy.

The guy visibly cowers but then he shakes his head as if to get rid of the sudden submissiveness in the face of the powerful vampire boy.

“You can’t tell me what to do, bat-boy,” the werewolf almost growls in defiance, showing his front teeth as yellow flakes appear in his eyes.

But the vampire doesn’t falter at the pathetic show of power.

He chuckles.

“You’re right, I can’t. No one can. But that means you have to be ready for the consequences of your actions,” he responds calmly, showing his pearly whites with that confident smile still on his lips.

“And while I’d love to put an insolent mutt in its place, sadly it isn’t my place to do so. But I have this urge to let you know you’re talking to one of the most powerful fairies at this party, nay, the city. So I’d be extremely careful to who I talk to like this, in case I want my head attached to my body,” The vampire concludes with a victorious smile on his lips and a confident tilt of his head while you’re left speechless.

“Now, I’d advise you to leave if you want your body to stay intact. Am I clear, dog?” the last word comes almost as a growl and you’re both scared and aroused by the timber in his voice.

The werewolf gulps, all signs of disobedience erased by the vampire’s indisputable demonstration of power and he walks away with his tail between his legs, quite literally.

As soon as the guy is out of earshot, you return your attention to the vampire next to you. His eyes are ominous upon the departing werewolf but once he realizes you’re looking at him he brings his focus on you. Now his eyes soften, the red disappearing little by little and his smile looks a little more tender.

“You didn’t really have to do that, Seokjin…” you mumble quietly, fumbling with your hands as you look at the floor. Suddenly it doesn’t feel right for him to witness you in such a state when all the interactions you have with him are purely between the lines of teasing and flirting.

He simply nods. “I know. Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to.”

Your eyes are back on his and for once you realize there’s nothing dark and carnal there like all the times you’ve met his gaze before. There’s only tenderness in them and slight worry. After all, he just saw a guy throwing a fit at you and he wants to make sure you’re okay.

Your gazes linger, finding yourselves unfamiliar with the altered aura that surrounds you. It feels softer and calmer, wholly inappropriate for a house party such as this one but none of you seems to mind the change. Instead, you’re confident you’re not in the same party anymore. It’s just you and him and the sudden shift in your dynamics doesn’t seem to go by unnoticed by the two of you.

But whatever it is, you welcome it willingly.

Seokjin coughs to get rid of the sudden tension, dragging his eyes away from you, although the tips of his ears turn red. “Taehyung claims the view from his roof is astounding, so I decided to pay a visit…”

You look at him confused. Why would he tell you that?

But Seokjin’s gentle smile returns.

“Would you like to join me?”

.

.

Taehyung was right. The view is amazing.

You’re immediately in awe as you gaze at the rest of the city from up here. The glittering lights resemble the stars in the night sky as the sounds of the party are getting lost in the serenity of the night.

Up here feels like a different world from down there. It’s calmer, somehow safer and definitely some kind of liberating.

Your arms rest on the railing as you gaze at the city below you, finding yourself relaxing with each intake of breath. 

You feel Seokjin stepping beside you, turning to see him rest his upper body against the railing as he stares at the night sky above him.

You lose focus for a second, already forgetting the bustling city below you, eyes stuck on the handsome man beside you. From this angle, you can clearly see the curves of his face. 

Your eyes follow the line of his eyebrows, thick and expressive as he stares at the dark sky ceiling in awe. His eyes look full of wonderment as they follow the constellations visible in the darkness of the night and crunching adorably once he sees something he likes.

Then you move down to the slope his nose, which is cute as a button, you admit in the danger of sounding almost cliche.

Your eyes move to the jut of his jaw, clean-cut edges that feel dangerous to get close to in fear of cutting yourself. His skin is pale like porcelain, glistening faintly under the light of the stars.

And his lips. Oh, how you wish to kiss them, to finally find out if they’re as soft and pillowy as they look, to taste the sweetness of his skin and find solace in this pressing of his body against yours-.

“Is there something on my face?”

His voice breaks your reverie and once you realize he has caught you staring, you feel the incriminating blushing of your cheeks.

You turn away your face immediately, letting your hair fall in front of your rose-colored cheeks to hide your embarrassment.

Seokjin chuckles quietly before turning around to mirror your stance and though his eyes are facing you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, you have my apologies…” his voice is light, telling you he won’t drag this any longer if you don’t want to and you nod your head in gratitude.

The silence stretches around you but once the embarrassment from before is gone you feel more comfortable as time passes. Being next to Seokjin always felt thrilling and addicting in the sense of what only a forbidden thing could feel like. But now, as you simply stand next to each other and look at the view before you, a sense of calmness and serenity overwhelms you. One that makes you safe and warm and feels like it’s where you belong.

“Y/N, can I ask you something?”

His soft voice causes you to turn around to face him once more and you’re met with soft, careful eyes that, you swear, hold the universe in them.

You’re left speechless at the proximity of him but quickly offer a shy smile. “Go ahead.”

His lips stretch to match your smile, leaving you breathless before he responds. “Did I ever make you feel… awkward around me?” he concludes with the intake of breath and you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion once you the nervousness hiding in his features.

You rush to deny this. “No, no at all, what makes you say that?”

Seokjin chuckles nervously, rubbing the base of his neck. “Well, it’s just that I can be awfully unusual from time to time and also blunt. Hence why I’m not quite popular with other people, except, of course, of you and Yoongi… And while I know for sure where Yoongi stands in this, I couldn’t help but… feel uncertain for your part…” he concludes in a small voice, almost as a little child afraid it’ll be scolded.

But when you’re about to put his worries to rest, he keeps on talking.

“Which, I would assume, comes unconsciously as an answer to me being somewhat uncomfortable around you…” he whispers lowly and you falter.

He feels uncomfortable around you? That can’t be good.

“I… I make you feel uncomfortable…?” you ask with a timid voice, once Seokjin doesn’t take notice of as he’s too preoccupied with the thoughts running in his mind.

“Well, some times I suppose. But it’s not your fault, I can assure you, you can’t help it,” he tries to comfort you but it only makes you feel worse.

“Oh, nice to know it’s nothing I do, but more like something about me that I have no control over, great…” you mutter, your words drowning in sarcasm and Seokjin’s eyes grow wide once he realizes his mistake.

“No, I didn’t mean that, I-  Shit, that sounded wrong…” he mumbles quickly, panic in his eyes as he runs a hand through his black locks.

You almost swoon at that.

But let’s stay focused.

“What I meant was, -and I hope this doesn’t offend you in any way-, that I felt uncomfortable around you only when…” he hesitates, “only when…”

His voice drowns out, clearly afraid to go on but his face is serious as if talking himself into it. You realize he might need a push.

“When…?” you ask carefully, anticipating his next words.

But what he says takes you entirely by surprise.

“Only when… I’m hungry.”

You blink at him, slowly working through the words and once you understand what he means, your whole face burns red.

He means he felt hunger for you. For your blood. One of the most intimate acts a vampire can perform on another and Seokjin had felt the need to do that with you.

You don’t know how to process this. But your body does instead of your mind and sends a pool of arousal right between your legs.

One that hits Seokjin’s heightened senses like a tidal wave.

His eyes grow wide, lust pooling in them as they turn red, nostrils flaring and he gasps as if the smell overwhelms him. He leans forward with heavy breaths, unable to support himself to dig his nails in the railings, leaving permanent marks on the metal.

“I-, fuck…” he curses lowly, sending another chill down your spine and another pleasurable wave down to your folds, one that affects him again.

“Goddamnit, Y/N, I…” he curses, words loud in contrast with the silence of the roof and they take you by surprise. You lick your lips unconsciously, not knowing what to do until he speaks again.

“…You should go…” he mumbles, his voice deep and guttural as if trying to keep himself in check and your eyes fly to his hands, only to see his knuckles turned white. He tries to hold himself back, to keep his hands on the railing instead of reaching out to you. For Yoongi but also for you.

You know you should listen to him. You know you should get out of here, go back to the party, to your friends who will no doubt be looking for you at some point, back to safety. After all, you promised Yoongi you’d stay away. You both did.

But why can’t you find it in yourself to move?

Instead, you take a breath.

“Why?” you simply ask.

Seokjin groans at your answer, not at all ready to teach you the cautions of staying close to a vampire when he’s hungry but nonetheless, he turns to explain.

“Because I can’t promise I-” but he stops once he sees the look in your eyes.

The look that tells him you didn’t ask that because you don’t know.

You do know. You know perfectly. 

You just don’t care.

Seokjin remains speechless when you take a step closer to him and place your hands on his cheeks.

You’re not quite sure what you’re doing yourself. If he’s okay with it or not, but you leave him space to push you away if he’s not.

But he doesn’t.

And the thought that crosses your mind is the following:

Screw Yoongi and his rules, screw everyone else. This is what you want. It’s what both of you want.

You can’t deny it any longer.

And so you lean down and press a soft kiss to his lips.

And once your skins touch the spell breaks.

Seokjin is immediately on you, hands traveling to your back to press you against him fervently. His lips are soft, yet rough in their movements, sliding against your own in urgency. Hands moving to tangle in his hair, grasping them tightly and Seokjin moans into your mouth. His palms move to your ass, molding the flesh in his grip, making you move against him with a tilt of your hips.

He gasps into your mouth, biting roughly at your bottom lip but not hard enough to draw blood. You hum appreciatively as his hands fly to your thighs to lift you up against him and your legs wrap around his torso.

He pushes you up against the nearest wall, sliding his tongue against your own to taste you urgently, his crotch moving instinctively against your own, sending exciting timbers throughout your body.

Small whimpers escape your lips at the stimulation, immediately moving your hips to get more friction. Fingers clawing at his back, bunching up his shirt as his lips move down to mouth at your jaw, before they rest at the column of your throat.

You moan out loud as he sucks at a particularly sensitive spot at the crook of your neck, certain there’ll be marks tomorrow morning.

You can’t get enough. Your hands are everywhere, clutching his hair, clawing at his back, grasping at his biceps, they’re everywhere because you want everything that is him. You want to feel every little spot, every hidden crease of his body, you want him.

Your heavy breaths and moans are being masked by the sounds of the party, the only recipients of the sinful sounds being the two of you and Seokjin ruts his hips against you once more, making another moan of his name fall from your lips.

He curses, the sound sending another wave of arousal down to your folds before he rests his head on your neck to catch his breath.

“Y/N, I-…,” he says between breaths, “, shit, I shouldn’t ask you this…” he mutters almost to himself, shaking his head softly. You run your fingers through his hair to comfort him before he raises his head to look at you.

His eyes are red and wide, pupils full-blown out in lust as he stares at you with a sort of hunger in his gaze, one you know the meaning of.

“Could I…” he stops, visibly shaken by your interaction as his hands tighten at your thighs. You look at him with soft eyes, waiting for the rest of his sentence.

He takes another breath.

“Could I… taste you…?” he asks tentatively, eyes still full of desire but his words are calm and not at all compelling, leaving you an opening to say no. “You can refuse of course and we’ll forget I ever asked, it’s just that, god, you smile divine and, well, I can assure you it will be just one bite-” you interrupt him with a passionate kiss on the lips as you move against him.

He gets lost in your kiss, momentarily forgetting what he asked of you before you break apart to whisper with a sultry look in your eyes- “Please, Seokjin, please.”

Your pleading has him feeling weak and he curses softly before his mouth is on yours again. 

His movements are erratic, hands grasping whatever he can reach as his mouth devours yours, the sinful sounds of your make-out session turning you on even more, as you feel the muscles in Seokjin’s back ripple underneath his shirt.

His lips are quick to move to your throat, placing thousand of kisses and hickeys on your skin before he feels you relax against him completely. Eyes closed, a blissful expression on your face as you lick your lips and hum in appreciation.

And then his fangs pierce your skin.

You gasp out loud, hands tightening around Seokjin’s hair and he moans out loud when the first droplets of your blood meet his tastebuds.  

And then he simply can’t control himself. He drinks from your neck as if he’s a man thirsty and you’re a fountain of water in the deep desert. The act itself is so erotic, it rouses you, erecting your nipples against the fabric of your shirt as you press your chest against Seokjin for relief.

He feels this and the moan that breaks free from his lips is nothing short of lewd, making the hair on your arms raise. But he doesn’t lean back from your neck. Instead, he keeps on drinking as one of his hands travel to the hem of your skirt that has bunched up to your hips.

You’re quick to move the fabric as much away as you can, giving him the freedom to do whatever he wants to you. You know you can’t say no to him. You want to feel him everywhere. You want to feel his hands on you, his fingers inside you so deep he won’t be able to leave.

His hand travels beneath your skirt, caressing the inside of your thighs before resting on top of the wet spot in your panties.

A muffled sound, similar to “fuck”, comes from Seokjin’s lips before he retracts his hands from your neck and his fingers move your panties aside.

They caress your folds, gathering your slick to press it softly against your clit and you whine against his neck.

Seokjin’s chuckle is nothing sort of kind, as his fingers pick up their pace against your bundle of nerves. “Look at you. Such a pretty little fairy, being so fucking wet for me…” his words are mean and yet they make the wetness in your cunt pool in more.

“What would your fairy friends say if they saw you like this, hm? What would they say seeing their innocent little friend being so fucked out by just my fingers?” he whispers to your ear as he suddenly moves two digits into your soaking cunt.

“Oh!” you can’t help the moan that leaves you, arching your back to feel him more as his fingers move relentlessly inside you, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

“God, you’re stunning… I can’t get enough of you…” he says right before licking the two trails of blood on your neck from where his fangs have been. His fingers still move inside you and you begin gyrating your hips in time with his fingers as you feel your orgasm approaching.

“Seokjin, I-” you find it hard to form coherent sentences, whines leaving your lips instead as you move more urgently against his palm. Hoping he’ll realize what you need and help you.

But instead, he moves his fingers away.

A loud gasp tears through your throat at the sudden emptiness, a frown masking your features as you stare at Seokjin ominously for denying you your orgasm.

He chuckles lightly before softly kissing your pout away. “Don’t worry, love, I’m not done with you yet…” he says and another shiver runs down your spine when he moves his hands to unbutton his jeans.

Excitement runs through your veins as you move quickly to take his shirt out of his jeans to help him get undressed faster. Your palms move beneath the fabric to trace the outline of his abs, your nails slightly scratching the skin and Seokjin hisses at the contact, making your mouth water.

He lowers his jeans, revealing his black boxers and you waste no time in pulling the waistband down to reveal his already hard cock.

You stare at it in awe, licking your lips unconsciously. You’ve always guessed he was big but you weren’t expecting him to be this big. Not only is his cock lengthier than most, but it’s thick too with veins running down its length, making your mouth water. But you also wonder how it’s gonna fit.

Seokjin takes his cock in his hand and presses its tip on your clit, making your eyes flutter shut and a whine escapes your lips. Already forgotten about your previous doubts you move your hips instinctively for more.

He moves his length lower to rub against your folds and gather the slick to smear it against his shaft.

But then his eyes are on you again. “Are you ready? We can stop this anytime you want…”

You chuckle breathlessly before grabbing him by the neck and kiss him roughly. He gladly reciprocates before you lean back. “Seokjin, I need your cock. Right. Now,” you conclude, grasping his dick in your hands, guiding it to your entrance and sink on top of it with a loud moan.

Seokjin gasps out loud, fingers leaving bruises in your thighs by how tight he’s clutching them as he struggles to control his breath.

Oh, god, he’s so thick.

You take another breath, willing yourself to relax more and take a little bit more of him each time. Seokjin guides you through it, caressing your hair and whispering praises to your ears.

By the time he’s into you fully, you swear you’re gonna burst. You take slow, deep breaths to let yourself get used to the intrusion as Seokjin peppers kisses to your face, neck, and shoulder.

“You’re so good, love, you’re doing great, such a good girl for me…” he mumbles against your skin between each kiss, trying to calm you down until you feel ready for more.

And you take him by surprise by thrusting your hips forward.

Both of you break out in moans, Seokjin’s head resting against your shoulder before he starts pounding slowly into you.

His pace starts out rather calmly, wanting to feel every inch as he sinks in you, dragging out your pleasure longer as soft whimpers accompany his thrusts. He bottoms out once and then slaps his hips against yours roughly, luring a moan of his name out of your lips.

He cursed at this before slamming back into you. “Fuck, I love the way you say my name; like you need me…” he admits, picking up his pace, his hands holding your thighs for leverage.

“Look at how good you take my cock, love. It’s like your pussy was meant for me…” his thrusts are faster now, drilling into you, body banging uncomfortably against the wall, but you don’t care. The only sound that comes out of you is the continuous moans that come out after each thrust of Seokjin’s hips. 

He groans each time, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as his cock drives into you, finding your sweet spot repeatedly, making you feel closer and closer to the orgasm he denied you merely minutes ago.

You clench at him at the thought and Seokjin hisses as his mouth falls to your lips. He takes them with fervor, moving his lips passionately against yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth to taste you as he fucks into you. You grasp his hair for leverage, feeling every thrust in your core, wanting him to stay there forever, to always have him make you feel like this. You can’t get enough.

His mouth moves to your little identical wounds on your neck and sinks his fangs into you once more.

“Seokjin!” you moan, a new wave of pleasure you didn’t know you were capable of experiencing surges through you, your arms, legs, and cunt tightening around him. He keeps on drinking and drinking while his hips move with more force.

His thrusts become erratic, sloppier as he nears his high, but he tries to control himself and let you come first. So he moves his fingers to your clit once more while he sucks on your blood and the stimulation from all three areas has you tumbling over the edge. 

A bright white light appears behind your eyelids as your orgasm overwhelms you, more powerful than any other orgasm you’ve had and you cry out loud by the overpowering feeling of bliss.

Your orgasm makes you clench your hole as tight you possibly can which in turn makes Seokjin retract his fangs and come after a few seconds with a moan of your name. 

You both remain there, panting against each other breathless, his cock softening inside you but neither one moves.

Seokjin then slowly drags his soft cock out of you and he apologizes with a timid smile when you hiss. He puts himself back into his pants, careful not to drop you and then he takes out a handkerchief out of the back pocket of his jeans.

He uses this to help you clean up yourself from his cum that already started trickling out of you and you smile at the caring gesture. 

But then he throws the handkerchief off the building.

“Ah, we could have washed that…” you mumble in regret and Seokjin chuckles before placing you down and fixing your skirt.

“It’s alright, it wasn’t anything of importance…” he whispers softly before he stands back up to look at you. The look in his eyes is quite confusing; you can’t decipher it for the life of you and it has you suddenly feeling nervous about what’s to come next.

You just had sex with Seokjin. When Yoongi was so obviously against it. At the roof of Taehyung’s party. 

Oh god. What does that mean for the two of you for now on?

Seeing you worrying yourself silly, Seokjin takes one step closer. He places his hands on your cheek and rests a soft kiss on top of your welcoming lips. This kiss is gentle, in no way the same as the kisses you shared earlier, but for some reason it makes you feel giddy, sparks flying through your entire body as you reciprocate.

Seokjin stops the kiss and leans back slightly to look you in the eyes.

“So… would you like to go on a date with me?”

At the sudden proposition, you can’t help but burst into laughter by the absurdity of the situation.

Seokjin looks at you perplexed and a bit disappointed but you press your lips on his cheek to soothe him.

“Normally, people go for the date first and then the hot sex session…” you joke with a light smile on your lips and Seokjin finds himself smiling back immediately.

His hands wrap around your waist to bring you closer and he kisses your forehead tenderly. “Is that a yes?”

You chuckle and hide your face in his chest, which is currently all red from embarrassment. “Only if you agree to be the one to tell Yoongi.”

He shakes his head with a laugh before, “Oh, he’s already aware.”

That manages to win your attention. “What? What do you mean?” you ask bewildered as Seokjin smiles at you as if he knows something you don’t.

“I talked to him before the party. Made him see I was serious about you and I wouldn’t try to toy with your feelings,” he responds softly and you grunt in annoyance.

“Jesus, he’s not my father…” you mumble and Seokjin laughs at your cuteness.

“Well, that’s what he said as well. He knew he had no right to forbid us from seeing each other, he was just trying to protect you by warning both of us of what might happen. But in the end, he knew it was our decision to make,” he shrugs carelessly before his smile returns.

“So what do you say? Go back to the party?” he asks, nuzzling his nose against your neck and a shiver travels through your body.

You smile before answering. “Actually, I have a better idea.”

Seokjin turns to look at you curiously but the glint in his eyes informs you he’s somewhat aware of your idea. “Do tell,” he replies with a smirk.

Your smile turns seductive as you run a finger up his chest.

“How far is your house from here?”

Seokjin smirk turns wider before he places a quick, intense kiss on your lips and then he drags you out of the party and into the night.

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Ranma 2/4

Part 3; Final: chapter 26-38

After this it’s on to good and proper timeline deliberation

These two are honest-to-God morons and I want to punch them in the face

*sigh* Ranma…

Y’know I almost had hope that this differed in the manga

Guess not

I DO NOT approve of alienation

However, getting emotional character development out of Ranma is like pulling teeth

So alienate away

Emotional Oof

THANK YOU!

*chuckles* Ryoga, you’re great

BREATHE

He’s dying don’t kill him early

FINALLY!

Ooo

didn’t see that coming

*tightly* I’m fine

okay, Ranma, you know what to do

*heaves giant ass sigh* RANMA!

*screams*

Look I know no chill, kay, shut up

RIP my shipping heart

*sighs* FUCK!

Not gonna lie, I’m Ranma

Careful, Akane might kill you

And with the way Hinako’s acting she deserves it

I’m actually with Nabiki on this one

I love how Ranma is rolling with this

Ooo that’s gonna sting

Those 3 are terrifying, honestly

Hinako, your timing is awful

STOP USING RANMA AS YOUR LANDING PAD SHAMPOO!

Ranma blubbering hurts WAY more than I thought it would

Ranma, you’re digging your own grave here

Someone call me when he learns his lesson FINALLY

*cringes* Yikes, tbh I can’t tell if she’s playing him

Ranma you shit

WHY

Why is it always Kuno?!

Oof this gonna hurt w Kuno’s understanding of Ranma’s curse

Expect all Ranma and Kuno- especially Ranko- interactions to hurt really bad

Ukyo, you’re an idiot

You too Ryoga

Honestly

Alright, that’s funny

Ukyo, you’re lucky they’re dumb

Oh God, you two are SO wrong, but I love it

Aaand what does that say about you two Akane?

Ooo I could make this really mean

It’s SO tempting

Well, that went nowhere

Poor Ranma

So many trans vibes, honestly

*screams* HOW? Who? WHY?!

Wha-wha-what?!?!

Ouch, that’s gonna sting SO bad

heheh

Ouch, that hurt surprisingly more than I thought it would

Further proof that Genma SUCKS

Just this once, gimme soft

PLEASE

Close enough…

Okay, this fight was AWESOME!!

*sigh* Why am I even surprised by Genma’s reasoning anymore?

If Ranma cries, Imma cry

Excuse me while I go scream

I literally don’t even know what to do with this

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on, I guess

okay, the end was funny though

Soun, is that bird didn’t look out of it’s gourd I’d believe you

*Chucks whole birdhouse* “fair”

A+ pic of Ranma

In his defense, he can argue something else, they just won’t listen cuz Shampoo won’t go with the truth

Alright, so Shampoo is smart, but with Ranma she’s an idiot

Wouldn’t the smart idea be to send Ranma AND Akane in with all 4 objects at the start?

Ok, Shampoo Sleep-Fighting is funny

Ranma is so underwhelmed that he’s just not even caring anymore

How Kasumi the scariest one to be possessed

Alright, anything with Nabiki on the cover worries me

Holy Shit he played Nabiki

I’d be impressed if I wasn’t annoyed to hell

Let’s all be glad right now that Genma never mastered this

Where do you think he would’ve sent it?

My inclination’s the Tendos

If nothing else I’m impressed by Nabiki

Now play this man like a kazoo PLEASE

When Ranma lectures you on how you’re acting like kids, you done fucked up

I’m with Ranma

Are you sure Akane?

Cuz I’m not

Heheheheh

Thems the breaks Ranma

You deserve it

Holy Shit Ryoga, nice

Now, I understand that Pigs are your life, but you might be dead

And honestly, I don’t blame him

Okay, that one’s gonna hurt

No matter how you slice it

Morality, Ranma, I know you have it

I hate this

Ok, that was uncalled for

Ranma he’s gonna kill you

Also WTF are you thinking?!?

Oof

Wait… what?

I’m officially concerned

Ok, I actually kinda like this interlude

Akane… seriously, trust is a thing you need to learn

One would think she’d learn…

Okay, that is actually creepy

I would too Ranma, I would too

Jesus fucking Christ, you suck Happosai

LetRanmaMeetHisMomCOVID19!

Gemma you shit

Happosai, go fuck yourself

Nevermind, don’t let him meet her, this is ridiculous

“Where’s the fridge?” “Akane wanted it”

I shouldn’t’ve laughed as hard as I did

*sigh* I just want Ranma to have ONE normal parental figure in his life, is that too much to ask?!

I already hate this idea

He comes back Imma scream

Since when?

On what planet does penpal = boyfriend/girlfriend?

Ryoga, PICK ONE!

I’m getting annoyed with you Ryoga, which sucks cuz you’re one of my faves

Ryoga, how are you this gullible?

You deserved that Ranma

I would wish the fate of being Kuno’s wife on no one

Ever

Congrats Ukyo you’ve actually made me freak out

I don’t appreciate it

At all

*shudders*

Oh this is SO weird

Of y’all keep making comments like this WHY do you keep trying?!

Nevermind it’s Hiroshi and Daisuke, they’re in the know

I’m going to say it again

AKANE LEARNS TO SWIM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

This is why you don’t buy cheap food people

I can’t lie, I’ve been waiting for Akane to get possessed

That moment when the ghost is honestly being a bit too sensitive

Actually, he didn’t, so shut up

I could make the Hawaiian thing so Explicit

But I won’t, cuz y’know consequences and stuff

I’m not going to ask how Ashura drowned at Josenkyo

Taro, quit being a dick, you turn into a Minatour-like thing

God he’s dumb

When Crazy and Crazy wanna duke it out, Ranma’s got the right idea

Excuse me, what?!

Ooo, now you’ve made Akane mad, run

Wtf is wrong with you, Kodachi, he’s literally unconscious!

I think that was almost character development?

I can’t tell

Ranma should not look that good in a suit

Whoa, she actually like… said it

Damn

Everyone’s got 4 sec to start treating Ranma like a person

Oof, right in his pride

Akane, I need you to stop being cute for 3 sec so I can focus

Yeah, I ain’t making it dormant

Ranma, I can’t tell if this is sexism or jealousy, either way it looks ugly on you

“At least he’s scaring the cats” harsh Kasumi

Okay, so I’m 90% sure it’s just jealousy, which better but still ugh

Ranma, you can be kickass when Akane is too

Ya goddamn moron

I’m going to beat that into him

There will probs be some angst about that

Not gonna lie

Look I’m good at it

Sorry

Ranma, if you want to get MURDERED that’s the way to do it

Smooth one, idiot

Called out

You better do this right or I swear, I’ll kill you myself, Ranma

I believe that is a fail

Of epic proportions, congrats

You NEED to learn to keep your mouth shut Soun

Awww

But he’s not lying!

Ranma, just run, she’s actually pissed this time

FUCKING RUN!

Alright, Akane, NO

You’re playing into the patriarchy

Oh, right… 80’s...

I’m changing that!!

Oh My God PLEASE tell me Ranma gets deaged!! Please!

Ranma’s got more patience for assholes than I do

Jesus

Hah

He deserved that

Part of me wants to see Kasumi actually get pissed off

YES!!

I LOVE degaging plots!

Ranma, I want you to math that one out, just a little

YES!

I am LIVING for this!

There is so much wrong with that sentence Kodachi

Ok, that was a little too cruel Akane

Someone either get Mousse recognized as Legally Blind

Or someone get him glasses that work!

Either one, but PLEASE

I just got a “draw me like one of your french girls” joke from a horse

Even though the widespread joke is LITERALLY at least 30 years later than this image

OOF

Ice Cold

We’re running out of chapters for her to find out

She better have a canon way of doing it otherwise I’m gonna be really mean with it…

Bean… Gun… Plant…

Eh Seen weirder

Aww Valentine’s Day chapter!

Yes!

Poor Ranma

These two are blind to each other

Heheh

Aww

I love these dorks

Heheh oops, busted

I still just find the principal an honest annoyance

Wait… when did Ranma start wearing a school uniform?

Congrats Miss Hinako!

I just now realized that I’m going to have write someone who is ok with having a female chest

Gag me with a spoon

Bleh

I’m bad at that

I really do want to give Ranma clothes that do actually fit his female form

Ranma needs to look at the terms and conditions of good curse

Cuz this is getting creative

Uh oh

Ranma you have a brain, please use it

Hehe, she’s doing her body laundry

Oh shit

THANK YOU SOUN!

Fucking Happosai

Why are you the actual worst!

Oh shit

Goddammit Nodoka

That one was ALL on you

I expected this from Nabiki, but wtf Nodoka?!

Happosai you twisted fuck

Heheheh alright that’s funny

If nothing else Shampoo is sneaky

WHY is that the only way to undo it?!

Poor Akane she is so lost

Aw, poor Ryoga

Definitely not, Akane, but thank you for posing that question

Thank you for calling him out on his ego

This would be hilarious to see this before anyone had any bit of a clue about Ranma’s two forms

Also, Ranma, you need to keep her safe from the Kunos 

 *sigh* Akane, you’re wrong 

 Ooo, not good 

 And that is what no self control looks like folks 

 What is with that ending? 

 And this is what manipulation look like folks 

Also, y’know, robbing someone blind 

 I’m assuming this is Konatsu and I love them already 

 I’m using they/them cuz I’m unsure of what pronouns to use 

 Y’know I thought the Cinderella thing was a joke, turns out I was wrong 

 I do not understand Konatsu’s thought process w Ukyo at all 

 Also, can you not knock them out? 

 I am forgetting the name of that one Hero from Supergirl but if my understanding Konatsu is correct I’m DEFINITELY going to do that

Yeah, that’s NOT how that’s gonna go over 

 Okay, can we all agree that the trick Kuno used on Ranma is HORRIBLE, right? 

 Wholeass mood for Ranma 

 Like you two need to shut up 

 I just want Ranma to wear a sun shirt and trunks to the beach ONCE 

Ryoga… how are you so lost that you came up through the ground? 

Ranma, how are you both a dick and a good friend at the same time? 

 Just tell me How on Earth did Akari justify the hot water for Ryoga with revealing that he’s Pchan 

 I’d like to think that’d be something they wouldn’t skip over 

 No questions, just punches a grave 

 Why does that grave hit back? 

 Honestly Nodoka almost finding is stressing me out 

 I could be SO angsty with the Neko-ken Fear thing 

 Someone tell me not to I’m that much of an asshole 

So glad that she’s apparently gonna learn bc I would’ve been SO mean 

God, Genma you actually suck 

 Oh, thank God she’s not too smart 

 The fact that he’s 300% ready to die is actually depressing 

 That was actually quite touching

If we ignore the way Ranma phrasing that is just plain wrong

Uhm… what?

 C-can she do that?

I hope not

God, you two are so dumb!

Is her definition of “manly” emotionless?!

Bitch, have a heart!

Oh God make them ALL leave! ALL OF THEM!

You feel? You said “you’re leaving”

 Ranma, the fact that you didn’t put that together I can’t help you Like my dad says “I can’t fix stupid”

The fact that he feels the need to run screaming from his own house…

Nabiki, WHY

I’m convinced at this point that there is something Nabiki HATES about Ranma and that’s why she’s making his life a living hell

Cuz you do realize at least ⅓ of his problems are because she told someone something that was private

I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a backhanded comment

Either way, RUDE

I can’t tell, is that Konatsu or is that Tsubasa?

Must go back and check cuz Akane’s comment about “trasvestite and a homosexual” confused me since Ranma mentioned being “the first male kunoichi”But then who HAS TO BE Tsubasa says they’re a straight guy

*sigh*

 Yep, nope, that’s Konatsu

My understanding was that Konatsu was like actually trans in canon

Apparently I mixed that up

I’m making it canon

 MtF Konatsu

 Bisexual Konatsu

One of these days someone is going to teach people to cook before assuming they know what they’re doing

 Seriously It’s not that hard

Did they seriously just try to marry an unconscious Akane to Ranma?!

What The Fuck?!

Aww, she’s cute

Ryoga has a bad sense of direction, but he’s never missed before…

Okay, that’s a little strange

Why is she hatching?

Poor Mousse

Lol, that was so sweet until Ranma was dumb

It’s still sweet, who am I kidding

“Do I look like I wear Totoro underwear” oh that’s GOLDEN

Le shit

 Firstly, Genma is still and idiot

Second, how is he already in Moscow?!

Third, why do I find this hilarious

Oh fuck

YES Kick her ass Akane!

I’m confused

Ok, was heralding back to the first chapter intentional?

Why does he have the staff in the bath?

Ok, I THINK I know what’s happening here…

Oof Can you two leave?

Ok, I was DEAD wrong

Wait…

If she…

If the DROWNED AKANE Imma commit murder

Damn, if you wanna piss off Ranma that’s how you do it

I don’t know why anyone would think pissing him off is smart

Oh, thank God, she’s okay

What is with this kid?

Why is he such a pain in the ASS?!

So I know she’s not dead

Unless SEVERAL DOZEN Fanfics have lied to me

Which is entirely possible since they were all listed as AUs

Uhm… Ranma… you okay?

Good, get him out cuz he’s clearly in shock

 This hurts

Okay, hate to be the one who complains that Akane’s not dead, but that doesn’t track

At all

Can I rescience this?

Please?

Am I going to be an ass about it, probably, but it’s me no one should be surprised by that in any way

“Honored and crazy guest” I mean, accurate

Alright, Shampoo you’ve got exactly 1 chance

Then I’ll maybe apologize for calling you names constantly

Oh I am gonna be such an asshole in this scene

Also extend it some

Oh, God I could be such a dick

I’ll restrain

I’ll just write one-shots instead

Mousse do the right thing

You have a Moral Compass I know that!

“Anytime THIS YEAR!” Damn the witty quips

Yeah, but you won morally

That’s what’s important

Why the Scooby-Doo line?

Go Ranma!

Ok, so that comment about Ranma basically fighting a God is NOT an overstatement

Noted

Congrats Ranma you made me Google a word

Turns out it is a word that had its height of use in the 80s

Neat

Explains why I had no clue what it meant

Someone shoot those damn chicken brains OUT OF THE SKY!

 “Only rocks”, rocks Ryoga just confirmed are 3 Tons

*sigh* I’m gonna have to physics the shit out of that

Joy

I cannot tell you the amount my heart dropped when I saw a full color double spread

Jesus Christ

DAMN

You’re gonna make me cry, dammit

Aww

YAY!

Heheh poor Ranma

Chill, hun, you’re good

Aww he’s tiny!

WHAT IS WITH YOU 2?!

STOP trying to marry your kids while they’re unconscious!

I’m not crying you are!

*tightly* I’m fine

Kodachi LET IT GO

 Literally everyone else too! I hate you all

Just so it’s on the record I’m pissed

Ok, so “back to the start” is definitely an oversimplification because Akane knows Ranma loves her Ranma knows she knows

Akane! Your turn!

Ooo, IDEA!

[leadkiss]

disenchantment prompts: season one

[+]  —  feel free to adjust wording, pronouns, etc.

1x01: “A PRINCESS, AN ELF AND A DEMON WALK INTO A BAR”

“I’m actually hoping for death. Thanks, though!" "I thought that I’d get married for true love or because I was wasted." "First off, not a ghost. Ghosts are losers that got murdered. I’m a demon." "Your whining really turns me on." "I wanna taste something other than sweetness." "I’d rather die a big death than live a small life." "You know that little voice in your head that tells you to do the right thing? I’m the guy yelling over it." "I never said I’m your friend." "Well, I like war, but I wouldn’t say I love it." "Times when you really shouldn’t are exactly when you really should." "I was raised by a pack of drinking buddies and I came out perfect." "I’m not here to answer cat questions." "I’ve never had a nightmare. Is this one?" "Cool night air, sky full of stars. This sucks. How much further?" "Hey, he’s making fun of my dreams! That’s what friends do!" "You can sleep down by my feet. I call it the friend zone." "Pardon my language, but destiny is baloney!”

1x02: “FOR WHOM THE PIG OINKS”

“You don’t scare me. I was born scared!” “Your cruddy life is worth living! And so is mine, if you live.” “I know. It felt weird when I said it.” “I don’t see anyone else storming your castle, princess.” “Uh, you know what? I’m just not comfortable with murder.” “Selfish? Maybe. But cruel? Eh, also maybe.” “I must admit, the quantity blood exceeded my expectations.” “That’s not fair! You’re playing to your strengths and not mine!”

1x03: “THE PRINCESS OF DARKNESS”

“What a naughty night we had.” “May I interest you in a joy ride?” “Get ready. Next week, we’re going to try arson.” “You know they prey on the weak in prison? At least, I intend to.” “I’m kinda scared to try this. Will you peer pressure me?” “That is the most fun I’ve ever had without remembering a single moment of it.” “Trust me! I haven’t led you astray in minutes.” “I guess I’m gonna do this, unless someone talks me out of it.” “If I spend any more time with my family they’re going to start asking me why I’m not married.” “This is not good for my hangover.” “Great, you’re gonna make me be the good guy? Ugh, I hate that.” “Like I said on our first date, nothing could be worse than this.”

1x04: “CASTLE PARTY MASSACRE”

“You doing anything weird in here I said “no” about?” “Just making murder plans with my cat.” “If I find so much as a misplaced hair when I come back, I’ll cut off your arm.” “Dude. Decide what you want, drink ‘til you have the nerve to go for it, then keep drinking so the inevitable rejection doesn’t hurt so bad.” “I didn’t know you were interesting.” “Let’s make this night so legendary they caution children about it.” “I’m gonna march up and say something I’ll have figured out by the time I get there.” “Nice! She drank her way out of depression like a pro.”

1x05: “FASTER, PRINCESS! KILL! KILL!”

“You have got to learn to read the room.” “How dare you bring logic into God’s house?” “You know, I would have left willingly!” “Sorry. I’m done threatening you.” “This ain’t about my impulse control.” “You’re a good-for-nothing, and you’re good at nothing.” “Just remember, this job is easier than it looks.” “Every time I turn my head away, something bad happens.” “I would not kiss me right now.” “If you’re gonna crawl back, can I ride you like a horse?” “Are you crazy or under a curse?” “I’m not sure I can do this. I’ve never killed anyone before. (Who wasn’t trying to kill me first. Or bother me. Or marry me.)” “This is a goddamn solemn occasion so shut the hell up, all right?” “What is wrong with you? It’s like you WANT me to cut your head off.” “Every time that girl gets a little responsibility somebody winds up alive.” “I suck. The only thing I’m good at is sitting on this rock and crying.” “I’m confused. Does he want to die?” “I like this, but as a friend.” “All right, the creepy laughter has to stop before we can have a real conversation.” “You did it. You finally killed someone intentionally. I’m so proud of you.”

1x06: “SWAMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE” 

“It’s drunk and I’m late. We better sneak in quietly.” “Oh floor, you’re always there for me. So supportive. Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.” “I’d like to have a role to play in your life. I’m tired of feeling useless.” “You’re a great writer! I read your diary.” “I’ll bring you what you deserve.” “Hey, I’m an enabler. There’s a big difference.” “Just once can we go on a family vacation without having to run away screaming?” “I hope you can sense my sarcasm through your drunken haze.” “See, this is why I always tell you not to try things.”

1x07: “LOVE’S TENDER RAMPAGE” 

“If you could be any mythical creature, what would it be?” “We should go home before we pass out in the street. Again.” “I haven’t lived long enough to give up on my dreams yet.” “I can’t believe he stuck to his story no matter how hard I laughed.” “Why would I do you any favors?” “Don’t try to be my friend.” “What are you coming to me for? We don’t got that kind of relationship.” “Make room on the dance floor, cause I’m full of shrimp and I need to lay down.” “What can I say? I’m attracted to people who are good at their job.” “None of this would’ve happened if you’d just told the truth!” “I lied because I was too insecure to admit I tried to kiss you.”

1x08: “THE LIMITS OF IMMORTALITY” 

"Entertainment is just a tool that pacifies the masses and leads to the decay and ultimate collapse of civilization. Let's clap along!" "I prefer to stay safe the old fashioned way: running like a coward." "I'd rather die than listen to this." "Immortality is a curse. When life is endless, so is everything else." "What part of "no thanks" do you not understand?" "I didn't save you so much as you fell on me." "Unlike other villains, I shan't be telling you my plan. Good day." "I am all about the easy way." "Eh, I've beheld better." "Now the only pain is humiliation." "Forty-five years of necromancing have led me to this moment." "See you in hell, weirdo!" "You know, I'm profoundly lonely, but I think you should leave."

1x09: “TO THINE OWN ELF BE TRUE”

"Where is the monster I married?" "I'm not a god. I'm not even a healthy man." "We lost him, but cured his headache." "How can you keep messing up a recipe with two ingredients?" "Lying to me in any other way but flattery is a mortal crime!" "You know, I just realized something: You're the reason I have a drinking problem." "Nice typical reaction, Mr. Predictable." "I wish you the best of luck embarrassing some other kingdom." "I found him! Wait a minute. It's just three quarters of a dead raccoon." "You do realize you're still hitting me?" "Hey, hey, hey. Slow down, champ. Oh, god I'm turning into my bartender." "You're never gonna be whole until you figure out who you really are, and there's only one way to find the answer." "I can't go home! It'll wreck my image as a total badass." "I smell cocoa, caramel and conformity." "I owe you an apology. Relatively speaking, you're a badass." "It's times like this I wish I had 3,000 fists." "I'll be watching. And judging. And generalizing." "I've been meaning to—but the thing is, I—so you see—well, I'm glad we had this talk. How about you talk now?" "I'm down to my second to last emergency flask, so let's have a toast." "I was waiting to tell you until after I was dead, so I wouldn't have to tell you." "Hey! Nobody calls me [name] except my best friends, and my worst enemies." "Ah, screw team spirit." "It's okay. I always wanted to go out when I was still young and hot." "Oh, man. If this is sadness, I don't like it one bit." "Nothing you can do can fix this!" "I don't even think it's real. It’s just some myth in a book." "You lied to me and betrayed me! Get out!" "Well, hey, good thing is, I swiped the only thing he cares about." "That's gotta make you feel a little better, right?" "Sorry, it's just... you have snot, like, all over your face." "Just close your eyes and don't think too much." 

1x10: “DREAMLAND FALLS”

"I had to choose you." "Thank you for your kind gasps." "They taught me the fine art of stabbing." "It's just too painful seeing the truth all the time." "I blame myself, cause I didn't even notice." "I'm much more embarrassed than I am aroused." "Ha! I foresee trouble in someone's future." "What a horrific day you've had. Let's have too much wine and forget about it all." "I can't believe I'm reduced to talking to you." "It's gonna be another long, lonely night." "How did you get like this?" "Pour a drink, light a cigar, and hand 'em both to me." "This is where I come to clear my head. Or to sleep it off." "It's almost like you were never away." "Can you steer my stumbles in the direction of the bed?" "I have to take action. I hate action!" "My clothes are really heavy. Can we have this conversation sitting down?" "I used to spend many nights up here, watching the stars, the moon, the neighbors." "The truth has been right under your nose the whole time." "You know, we could've just gone to marriage counseling." "I do know how to pick 'em, don't I?" "I should be the one killing everyone. I should be the one creeping everyone out." "It was the only way to get you to stop talking." "I guess the only bright side is, now I got nothing left to lose."

[theskyexists]

Fleabag

ok that sweater pull is just

that got me 

the way that was set up

i can't really stop laughing

but what comes after is just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa too knife edge for me really

my favourite relationship is already the one with her sister

fleabag wow she is a disaster. i always used to think - at least im not dysfunctional in that way. then i used to think, yeah but there's big advantages to it because you can lash shit out and away from you and idk fake it until you make it - coping for independence babey. but now im like nope. being that ragged and defensive and incapable of yielding at the right time or fix things sucks.

this rabbit teeth man apparently can hold a conversation all on his own.

this is fascinating because this woman i so extremely different from me it's insane. she just - what a dick oh my god hahahaha. she feels like she fucked up at being closer with her sister, hangs out with some dude she doesn't really like, has a horrible time, steals money, feels guilty over rejecting him and stealing from him, so tries to blame him and project on him for being a dick and get it all over with fakely. not to say that he isn't a dick. financial insecurity is a TRIP of mental bandwidth going narrower and narrower i imagine. (edit: oh and yeah grief)

no good deed goes unpunished lol

woah she can't be vulnerable with anyone? oh she did it. but then her dad is an idiot who deflects her one attempt with humour. wow this dude. well she instantly does payback. omg it's olivia colman. this dialogue is searing. it's not even that they were sleeping, it's just that they dont fuckin want her there. 'look after yourself' - yeah the point is that she came here for somebody to look after HER.

this is fucking DRAMA

makes perfect sense to me that she'd steal that statue though. by that time it's like why the fuck not nobody fuckin cares about me anyway im beholden to no one hey

so the one person she had a good relationship with ACCIDENTALLY killed herself. yikes. YIKES

im liking the bi vibes

damn all the men in this series are.........awful. lol

she really lives on the edge doesn't she. why seek out a confrontation with olivia colman that just seems like punching above your weight.

every single of her romantic options are SHIT. except possibly the girl in the sex shop but i guess that one's not real.

what the fuck.

allllll the men in this series are awful??? so far. fuckin FUCK!!!

so what im getting from this is that the whole series spins on the thwarted potential for fleabag to connect with her sister be vulnerable, and gain a smithereen of acknowledgement?

WHY.

god woman love yourself and kick the guy in the nuts again verbally like he deserves. like, make him fuck off oh my god. stop playing nice!!!!!

though i am kind of liking how this show has so many sex scenes but they're played pretty realistically but none of em make me feel disgusted. guess it's cos of the subjectivity that goes into it.

she pet the guinea pig! first step in recovery??

god i love her and claire's relationship but like. they're both totally not okay lol.

but they do seem to be the only ones who consistently get the truth out of each other

well wow this series does go There.

why is it that everytime she makes claire laugh she cries?? what is going on??? ah god i LOVE THESE TWO

why is every single fuckin man in this show pretty much awful (except possibly i suppose the man trying genuinely to be better at better man camp)

at end of the season: can't believe he was the one good man in this goddamn show. 

---- intermission ----

im just so fucking angry about this last episode of fleabag

so goddamn fucking furious

by how every single fucking person in her life abandons and betrays her!!!

but most of all her goddamn fucking DAD - he KNOWS that he wronged them for  fucking hooking up with their GODMOTHER, he KNOWS that his fucking wife is a monster to them - he’s right THERE when she says these horrible things to her, he SEES her SLAP HER, and he won’t fucking support her in ANY way - not emotionally, not financially (when he should know and DOES know that that cafe is all she has left of her friend), and then he has the AUDACITY to blame HER!!! HER!!!! for ‘fucking him up’??!??!!

when he basically JUST told her to FUCK OFF out of his life?? and then she’s nice to him??? she apologises to him??? he deserves to get punched out! he deserves to get screamed at

her sister betrays her and blames her for her best friend’s death?? leaves her humiliated and completely alone in the world when she’s just looking out for her?

AFTER she’s lost her best friend in the world with intense guilt issues?

she cannot rely on anyone - ANYONE. she’s right about that - and that’s the most devastating thing. but i feel like she needs to scream at them - stop pushing it down, stop keeping up appearances, stop stop stop.

show your pain.

makes me think her childhood was also one where she could never count on support, or a listening ear, or trust, or belief, after their mother died.

i can barely continue. this is the LAST episode. she’s clearly valued by fucking no one. are they trying to recreate - like, show how Boo felt? that maybe if you hurt yourself, then they may finally fucking CARE?

wow i was right.

well i suppose he did save her life

and…this total stranger….did more for her than any of the people that were supposed to care for her.

-------end

anyway. when love is scarce, you take anything you get. that's fleabag.

i wish she could cut out every motherfucker that betrayed her in that last episode. i know her sister is going to be a big character next season - but i will find it enormously hard to forgive her. BECAUSE she was the one person who cared for her, supported her, was real with her, appreciated her - and the other way round. that betrayal is worse than anything (apart from the dad's betrayal - he deserves to burn in hell, not get apologised to)  im sure fleabag will just let it go. like she seems to let everything go - every single goddamn insult and humiliation and hurt that other people put her through.

she never addresses any of it outright - never. never does she call people out. she internalises everything. she internalises even! 'i fucked up my family' NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T

she cleans up the things she shattered? the most frustrating thing. they hurt her but she never dares to hurt them back - not really. she doesn't even dare show her pain or anger.

but the end is life-affirming af. and phoebe waller bridge did that very right.

[liddolmushroomboy]

Lonely.

It’s one of those nights. 

Those nights where all I want to do is curl up in someone’s arms and cry. Or at the very least, just fall asleep. It’s one of those nights where I wish I had someone to talk to and rant to, someone who I could pour my heart and soul out to. Or at the very least, someone who would listen to me, someone who’d be my shoulder, and hold me when I inevitably break down. 

It’s one of those nights where I wish I had someone to love, someone who loved me back, appreciate me, kissed me, held me, told me I was beautiful. 

I just watched a video of a youtuber I follow talk about how she left her boyfriend of over a year because he cheated on her, and it reminded me partially of my own issues with love, and why I struggle so much with even just the idea of it. 

My situation was not as bad as hers, I will be the first to admit that. And to most, it may seem even ridiculous for me to still be this affected by it, considering, but I went through a similar situation, though on a much, much smaller scale.

When I was young and impressionable, I, like many other people, dealt with bullies. My bullies normally went after my weight. That was #1 on their list of things to pick on me about. And I dealt with it from as far back as I can honestly remember. They always had something to say about how I looked. In third grade, it was braces and my baby fat. 

In what I remember to be fourth or fifth grade, it was my batwings that ‘wouldn’t stop jiggling’ when I danced. In fifth grade is was me going through puberty, growing body hair in places I had never even realized was a thing, or the fact that my boobs were huge for a fifth grader. In sixth grade is was more my weight than anything -- hell, a guy I was ‘friends’ with and crushing on said I ‘looked like a fat pig from far away.’ I still remember that moment clearly, like it’s been sewed into the synapses of my brain.

This kept on, but they always came back to my weight, and over the years, it never got better. I even had a goddamned PE teacher that picked on me for my weight. A GROWN ASS MAN, picking on an eighth grader because she couldn’t run the mile. It never seemed to stop, and through all of this, I watched friends slip in and out of relationships here and there. 

I had a few instances in junior high, two of which were, disgustingly, your sterotypical ‘I dare you to ask out the fat girl to see her reaction’ type things. One played along for a few days, while the other laughed right in my face in front of everyone sitting out by the lunch tables. The third was genuine, but my mom made me break off because I was too young. I hated her for it then, but I understand it now, truly. Turns out he ended up being a dick anyways. 

But the one memory I have was from Freshman year of highschool. My confidence’s absolute plummet into the very depths of the universe. 

I had been learning stuff about myself, growing more confidence with myself, I was starting to sort of get better even. Like the more people there were in school, the less people cared about me. And I liked that. It allowed me a chance to express myself more freely without consequence. During this time, I realized I wasn’t straight, and I reconnected with a girl I used to know waaaay back to when I was YOUNG. 

We got swept up. I was scared and nervous but I had strong feelings for her, and it seemed she felt the same way for me. Everything was wonderful, and she seemed okay with me taking it slow, like she understood my troubles from the past and was willing to help me through it. 

Two weeks pass, and I’m home sick, and she asks me to meet her by the ramps we would take down to classes. I tell her I can’t, because I’m at home and no feeling well. She says we’ll talk later, but I tell her if it’s important, she can tell me now. She proceeds to break up with me, and tells me that when we kiss, she ‘felt no sparks’. As if little pecks on the lips from a terrified young girl just figuring herself out is going to elicit much of anything.

I was shattered by that alone. 

This beautiful girl that I was finally happy with just told me that I made her feel nothing. 

And then come to find that she had basically cheated on me behind my back. With my best friend at the time. One of the friends in my group let me know that she’d caught her making out with said best friend at the busstop. She admitted to it, which was fine, but then she had the audacity to act as though we could still stay friends after everything. I told her I needed space, and that I didn’t want to speak to her at all, and things eventually settled. 

I left that school and went into homeschooling and lost touch. Over the years since then, she’s tried multiple times to apologize, but I could never forget her. 

See, for the first time, I felt wonderful. I felt beautiful and worth something. I felt like I was on top of the world, and like I could conquer anything, and without a thought, she crushed it all like a bug under her boot heel. I was still young, still impressionable, and all it did was make me feel like I would never be enough. I would never be good enough, or pretty enough, or funny enough, or ENOUGH enough. I would never make anyone feel sparks, I would never make anyone swoon. 

It’s only been compacted over the years by how many times I have watched people I fell for go after my friends, always passing over me like I was chopped liver. Now, my friends are beautiful, and I’m not discounting that at all, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was being jipped. Why did no one ever want me?

Still, to this day, it feels that way. My friends are sought after, and people take one look at me and I can see the disgust in their eyes. If not disgust, it’s pity. Like they feel bad for me because I am worthless. I am not worth anyone’s time or worth anyone’s love. Only once in the last six ( seven? ) years has there been an opportunity for me to have love, but that was ruined by outside factors, and friendship was a better option for us anyways. 

But I sit here now and type this, my chest feeling hollow and achy, my eyes wet with tears that feel like they’re not allowed to fall. I feel shaky and lonely, alone. My heart yearns for that feeling, that happiness I so often see my friends feel, and it makes it worse because anytime I see other people happy about their love, I get bitter, because I have never been allowed such a pleasure. I was never given a chance, and still, to this day, have nothing. 

There were many small relationships within those years I did not touch on, one that only sort of further impacted my feeling of worthlessness, but they were insignificant blips on the radar. 

Everyone tells me I just need to get out more, be more social and confident, but they don’t know how hard it actually is for me. I don’t even feel comfortable playing a game of spin the bottle while I’m WASTED, let alone sober. I fear I’m not a good kisser, that I’ll never be a good kisser. That I’ll never be good enough in bed, that no one will ever want to see me naked. I’m convinced that my mental and physical state of being will never be good enough for anyone, and no one throughout the years has truly tried to help me unlearn that conviction. 

Worse still, I have fallen for friends who I feel like are so close, but they always end up with someone else....

My mind is a mess, and everything in this blog is out of order. 

But I’m tired and lonely and my heart aches. I do not wish to base my happiness upon the love of another, but I can’t even know if it would make me happy anyhow, as I’ve never had the chance to try in the first place. 

I just want someone to look at me like I am the most beautiful thing in the world, or at the very least, one of the most beautiful things in the world. I’m just tired of feeling like I am not even last choice. Like I’m not even on the menu at all. I’m the crusts of bread that are cut off and tossed away to make the slices look prettier. 

I’m just tired of it. 

Being single is fun and all; there are no constraints. But at the same time, I just wishe I could call someone mine, and that someone else would call me theirs.