#''could u speak more??'' yeah sure like ?? idk what I'd even say in my actual language and then would have to do that in a language I

[why-the-heck-not]

02.06.23, friday

it is friday my dudes !!

[moonswolfie]

Could we get Bokuto and 19? 🥺🥺🥺

Bokuto x gn!reader

But ofc!! Idk if u knew this nonnie but bokuto is my favourite boyo💕💕 i'm always happy to write about him🥰🥰

Time to prove to him that even his faults can be loved😤

His teammates often tell him that he's too loud, childish and irresponsible. He always feels compelled to deny it, but his teachers say the same thing. Even his parents scold him for that sometimes.

So then it must be true, no matter how much he defends himself.

In volleyball, being too loud isn't much of a problem and even excites the crowd a lot, but something like math class is a different story.

"Honey, you're too childish and irresponsible for a relationship." His mom hummed from behind the kitchen counter when hearing Bokuto whine to himself about still being single. All she got in reply was a sad groan.

Do these parts of him make him that horrible? He already had a bad day at practice today and then the boys basketball club leader decided to taunt him about still being single. Being reminded of his "bad traits" wasn't helping in the slightest.

He slowly got up, going into his room to sulk.

"I think that was too harsh, darling. You know how he is, he'll take your words to heart." His dad worriedly glanced at his mom while chopping the vegetables.

"You're right, I should have phrased that better..."

.

So he found it quite surprising when one day you, one of his classmates, approached him out of nowhere during a break.

"Hey, ummm, I'm in your class, but we don't know eachother very well." You started, fiddling with your fingers. It took a lot of convincing from your friends to even get you here, but there's no way back now.

"OOOH! I remember you!! You sit in the second row!!" He had no idea what you wanted, but it was always nice to talk to someone new.

"So, I'd like to get to know you better..." you looked into his eyes with hope. From what little you did know about Bokuto, he was very outgoing and excitable. So hopefully this goes well.

His eyes widened. "Eh? I mean, yeah, sure!! Of course!!" His face quickly returned to his usual excited expression.

"So!! I'm the coolest ace of the coolest volleyball club in Japan!! But you probably already knew that..." he started. What a cute self-introduction.

"Yeah, I went to your matches before..." you really hoped that your blush wasn't showing too much at that moment.

"REALLY?!"

.

After that day, you made it a habit to talk to him. He got to know many things he would have never guessed about you and his smile grew every day as your initial shyness dissapeared.

He grew increasingly close to you, to the point even his teammates pointed it out. He never noticed how he acts "different" around you.

But now that he thinks about it, he keeps reminding himself to speak more quietly and watch his mouth around you. That's quite strange, since he prefers to be his unfiltered self and tries not to be bothered by what others say.

Then why is he being subconsciously careful only around you, a person who never voiced their discomfort for his loudness or irresponsibility?

"Honey, you're too childish and irresponsible for a relationship."

No way.

Those words replayed in his head over and over. There's no way he's actually in love with you, right? You're just so amazing and beautiful and- UGH!

But if what everyone around him says is right, then that means he has zero chances with you, right? Ohhh, this is making him feel all sorts of sick...

Maybe google can fix this.

"Hey, bro. Come to dinne- What are you doing?" his sister's reaction shifted to one of worry when she found him laying on the bed, staring at the volleyball in his hands with a strangely solemn expression. Googling "how to get rid of your crush" did nothing for him since he doesn't want to distance himself from you.

"...Nothing."

"Are you having one of those mood swings again?" his sister sighed. "Come on, just come eat." she pulled him off the bed and he silently joined her for dinner. His family didn't question him all that much, already being used to his often times unstable mood.

Besides, they figured he needed space. Usually, a little "you're awesome" would work well in brightening his mood but instead of cheering up as he usually does he just hummed sadly, contuinuing to shovel at his food.

He himself hadn't expected those feelings to hit him like a truck. First love was supposed to be a cute, sweet, uplifting feeling...

.

"Hey, umm, Koutaro, I have to tell you something... Can you come with?" you asked one day out of the blue. The two of you were already on a first name basis, surprisingly you really clicked with him. Which made his little crush all the more bothersome.

He kept stuttering over his sentences when you smiled at him so sweetly, his heart swelling at the little things you remembered about him.

If only he wasn't so annoying and childish...

"I- Uh, sure!" he let you lead him off to a more private area, wondering what awaits him. You sounded nervous, like back when you first asked to get to know him. This could only mean something bad, right?! Or is he just overthinking it?

Since when does he do that, anyways?

"So... I kind of have a crush on you..." you looked down, too afraid to meet his eyes, missing the way his eyebrows raised and eyes blew wide.

"YOU LIKE ME?! You really like... me?" he almost couldn't believe his ears.

"Uhh, yeah.. I do." you yourself were a little surprised at his response. You thought for sure that Bokuto would just get really hyped and accept. Well, if he liked you too in the first place.

"Even though I'm loud? And childish? And irresponsible?" he asked in quick succession. What? How would those characteristics of his affect your feelings for him?

"Of course? I like you, even the less favourable parts." you smile at him happily. You think you know why he brought that up now. Judging by the amount of times the teachers scold him for those very things, he must think they're an annoyance and a hinderance to you.

You misjudged him, it seems. He lets things get to him more than you thought. Not that that's an issue at all.

"Ohhh, this might be my second favourite feeling in the world..." he said, relief evident in his tone as he hugged you tightly.

"Only second favourite?" you questioned, hugging him back.

"The first one will always belong to the feeling of a successful spike, of course!!" he squeezed you so hard you thought your bones might break.

"S-So, is that a-"

"Yes, yes!! A million times yes!! I'll be your boyfriend, your husband, your f- ANYTHING!"

oops i accidentally made it mutual pining and WAY too long bo bo tends to have that effect on me🌚

[wrongcaitlyn]

HIII i hope the eras was so fun!! i’ve been following u since the she-ra era (remember wrongcatra lol) right as i was starting to fixate on arcane and pjo. AND UR A SWIFTIE SJSJSJ!!! its so crazyy how u like everything i like! i love when editors/writers switch interests the exact same time as me

i loveeee talk ur talk and i was wondering if in the future (like far far farrrr future) solangelo would ever have kids? like adoption or biologically idk!

SDJFLASJDFLSJDFSAF OH MY GOD???sdlkFJSKLDFJ OH MY FUCKING GOD NO WAYYSDFJSDJF????lsDFKJSDF sorry im like dying here i STILL cant believe that some people know me from wrongcatra, that feels like so long ago... WOAH. thats actually so so cool to know that our interests followed like parallel lines omg <333 some sort of soulmate type shit i'd say!

ANYWAY now to actually respond to the ask - thank you so much!!! the eras tour was INCREDIBLE i truly had the time of my life <33 and honestly i have the same thing with finding editors that have the same interests... like whenever i see someone who posts both pjo and arcane im like?? omg???? are we the same person??? i can just tell you guys that i'll be starting to post abt arcane on here as november rolls closer bc the hyperfixation is already creeping up on me again... god i love that show so muchSDJKLF

as for whether theyd have children! i've been thinking about this for a while actually, and im leaning towards no. or at least- my idea is that both of their jobs are just *incredibly* time consuming, and very chaotic, with nico traveling a lot, and will- well, will's gonna be a doctor, so... yeahJKLSDF that speaks for itself! (in case u want more detail, i was thinking of him being a pediatric surgeon? idk why but i also always pictured him working in the er, maybe bc that's similar to what he does at chb, though he could also try to work in a less hectic environment as they grow older, i'm not entirely sure)

so i don't think that it'd be something that they'd even start thinking about for a very long time, just because they wouldn't have time for a kid, they wouldnt' be able to give them the attention they deserved (and with both nico and will having dealt with various levels of neglect as kids, that's definitely something they wouldn't want to put on a child)

HOWEVER. i think that. one day when they're much much older and maybe will changes his job slightly so its less of late nights and stuff, and nico decides not to tour for quite a bit and focuses more on other,,, projects, i think they would foster! probably young children, like before school, so their kids wouldn't have to deal with yk,, the attention of having a famous parent (will knows that issue all too well), but i think that they would actually feel really fulfilled and happy doing that. and who knows, maybe one of those children, they would one day adopt - i'm thinking of it now, maybe a pair of siblings or smth like that, i think it would be sweet :) but yeah, tbh, i don't have that many thoughts on what will happen past the timeline of greatest of luxuries, or at least no definite plans, but i think this is the most likely scenario :)

[rin-and-jade]

thank u for answering my ask! I appreciate u. im going to share some of my experience if that’s okay!

It feels like my identity is constantly clashing, like they are fighting for dominance over each other. How I see myself and how I want others to see myself changes. Sometimes I find myself feeling and acting younger, and other times more mature. However, these different states feel like completely different people. Two main ones in particular I’ll give fake names bc anon. I typically define them as Zach being more mature, powerful, maybe angry and sexual and having this whole other aesthetic/likes dislikes/species and age than Ruffy. Ruffy coming off younger, soft and cutesy, also having his own separate aesthetic/likes dislikes/species. Sometimes I feel other ways that I’m not sure if I should attribute to ruffy and Zach or a different identity. They each want the body to look different ways as well.. Their appearances clashing. It leads to confusion about who I am and what I should be like and look like. If I try to use the name Zach if I’m not him, it won’t feel right until he comes back around and I guess takes “control.” It would also feel very wrong for zach to be called ruffy since they are so different. Like calling someone by the wrong name. I can’t force myself to be someone. Sometimes it’s hard to define which I am. I also have nonhuman identities and as a whole I id as non physically nonhuman otherkin/therian but I also wonder if the different nonhumans are similar to ruffy/Zach as in kinda like their own individuals bc it can feel like sometimes each have their own self t them but I’m unsure. Sometimes I also speak in a voice that sounds younger and another like a speech impediment (not on purpose) and people tell me in general my voice is very fluid and changes a lot. idk if that is just something that singlets get or what like why do I have something sounding like a speech impediment and also baby voice that comes and goes

BUT it’s so confusing bc I know singlets can have a lot of different aesthetics and parts of themselves. so I’m rlly not sure if it’s typical singlet behavior of me or if it could indicate something else and systems could relate to this? rn I currently feel a wave of feelings id moreso attribute to Zach or something wash over me.. strong feelings. but those are always there. and also I looked into p-did but I’m unsure how to tell if something is passive influence or full switches if u have any insight on that? and also yea I have dissociation trauma all of that just unsure about amnesia and have absolute no communication with anyone it seems (If anyone is there). I know u can’t dx me !! but idk this is why I asked the question earlier.. is any of this relatable as a system? or like do u have any thoughts/advice or something? I’m going to bring what I said here up to my therapist and see how it goes.. but I can’t help feeling like I’m faking/dramatizing normal behavior. also I’m not sure what “taking control” feels like.. to me if I am switching its more like non possessive switches where “oh now I’m (name) and I’m no longer (other name)” like I will feel like someone else .. is that what a switch can be like?

"is any of this relatable as a system?"

I'd say, yeah it is. No singlet has a huge shift from names to speech or even the gender and having species orientation.

"do u have any thoughts/advice or something?"

I don't have anything else except suggesting you to explore a bit more meanwhile, that won't hurt. Maybe you'll discover something else that can help you.

"is that what a switch can be like?"

What you described sounds close to a normal switch between other alters to become the fronter, but i am not entirely sure because you only provided little details. Non-possessive switch is more like a shift in yourself rather than actually a shift in identity, as in going to a different mood state or energy levels.

- j

[castle-dominion]

castle 6x14 dressed to kill

the fashion designer episode liveblog

dumpster diving my beloved Canon gay characters "I had it first" No you literally didn't

Wedding stuff. Inviting my older bro to watch this w me bc he likes wedding stuff. Something a little less... intense. KB: They are all very girly, with a lot of gauzy photos of love-struck brides looking off into the distance. Love set design btw. RC: Perhaps they’re contemplating the fifty percent divorce rate? MR: Of course it was the 70s so I can't be sure... Those two r so cute & martha is great <3

Hey we've recorded this location before KB: Matilda King JE: ... Ok. .??

LP: a scarf a sash or something. RC: Blue hairs. So she was killed by a little old lady. Or Katy Perry. Or a dr seuss character

speaking of, where IS ryan?

Nice apartment!!! Ryan's outfit. I also liked Esposito's but I didn't like it. Is it legal to be on call 24/7???

Isn't this already their statement?

Ryan tech stuff

u already need to be a hottie? Stare all you want! Actually no. Ew only hiring ppl who.. i'll shut up.

Big bro: oh no it's his mom? his mom is secretly matilda king?

Like Sifu

Recognizes her!?

About 15 minutes lol that's when she did modeling!

Wow bright pink fashion man. So many canon gay characters even tho... I think they ARE canonly gay but they are intended to be gay obv

& she has a business to run!

ella's dead? how? "we're trying to find out" u KNOW how: strangled

Poor serge.

nvm.

episode title: dressed to kill.

If you're fired by matilda that's a rite of passage.

bro says the fibres could have gotten on her neck & THEN she was strangled

Pretty normal looking guy

btw love the background artists

RC: Oh! I just came up with a new title. “Murder is the New Black”. KB: Does that even make sense? KR, showing up: No it doesn't

is it REALLY bigger than fashion?

bro: i think it's the big lady (matilda) liking ella's design & someone else taking credit so they can make it big Me: I'll write that down. *not telling him he's right*

Yay cordova! house!

Usually exterminators get RID of bugs

Black coral?

"yes that's him but his hair was more like this" Knows what he wore

RC: After a tough negotiation that involved my Knicks tickets and naming a character in my next book after his Nana, my friend came up with a name. Marcus Conway.

the captions <3 "couture chick" "that's "chic"

My man looks young but with grey hair Ooh she's hot, rly tall, I love her

Corporate espionage & that's why she was killed

Bro: her cell doesnt work from home!

probs just an online zine bro

Wow art. Wow wedding dress.

Ryan pretty.

The boys watching caskett be mushy KB: can you go with martha?

U could be a regular ex-military, u don't need to make everyone ex special forces babes

Ella called Marcus on the landline oh dear!

love the murder timeline

WOuld she do it herself? Bro: maybe she was pressed for time, didn't know who she could trust

Bro: I think it's the pink guy who heard the call as she was leaving & went after her to protect matilda or he needs to secure his position or he needs to prove his loyalty or he needs to frame matilda to get her job

She's on a call? Ask her to hang up politely? idk.

Wow she be yelling.

"it;s the clothing that stitches it all together, we are their fantasy!

It...IS temper babe

Matilda king is good at this capitalist evilhood.

Yeah illegal illegal gross illegal technically legal but shitty crappy

"What information? Don't say u don't know, say you cannot share. "the weekEnd" oOOohhhhhh so it's fine if hte COPS listen!

We need more beckett+ryan

That's a lot of audio footage. THey're probably rly good at seeing what is important while listening at 2(to 3)x speed. Bro & I were arguinng if it was audio recording or direct recording. Inane to YOU esposito, probs super interesting to sm1 who know what they're talking abt. KB: This directory lists over a hundred people who work there. JE: (wistfully) Yeah. (pause) Lucky I have crazy good hearing. (I'd like to learn more abt that. The man is p musical after all.) KR: *nods* it's true (when did he learn that?) Ah, take me out to the ballgame money atm from that one movie

He's supposed to be working at a fashion place???

She cryin I don't like this gal at all lol At least she says "excuse me" The model didn't show up :(

fall 2015 not 14 babe Nice wood on the walls

MR: Then don’t. I’m sure there’s another venue out there that the two of you will just fall in love with. Bro: the station

Beckett wedding dress Bro: it's gonna be HER dress? Bro: No it's not. It's so ugly. Bro: that's the worst way to do an overskirt, and the overskirt doesn't even match the rest of the outfit it looks sooooo tacked on after the fact. doesn't meet in the front, same length all the way around no taper, nothing to hide or blend the seam/joining point especially with how bulky it is especially at the top. t looks like they misread the instructions and put the petticoats over the dress instead of under it. it's not even white-white it's a warm offwhite which doesn't go with the silver at all. I am a huge fan of overskirts so believe me when I say it would be 100000x better without the overskirt.

Me: austrian crystal, I had earrings with that. What is is tho? Wiki: A rhinestone, paste or diamante is a diamond simulant originally made from rock crystal but … In the US, these are sometimes called "Austrian crystal".

while she's gone for 5 mins send a pic to castle Bro: I like the top of the dress at least, but it looks like they assembled it wrong

She's gonna say no. At least Castle didn' t put down the stuff before he called her. Oh she just claims she didn't want to rush it. Or maybe you could plan for fall 2015!

IT'S STILL THE SAME DAY?

JE: Just Yumi. It – I guess if you don’t have a last name you can charge more. (not clipping but good face.) JE: And in addition to the fact that this model is hot – (he studies the photo) – she’s wearing black coral. Bro out of the blue: two ugly guys & a dog JE: I’m probably going to have to call her in for an interrogation. (just so he can look at a pretty girl acab lol)

Yumi: Models. Lack of food makes them so very fraught.

Bro: It's only been ONE day!?!?!? Me: that's what I said!

Bro: that sash looks like the TYPE of thing she'd have, but I didn't see it specifically.

Love his fashion scarf still lol.

Maybe they were both subconsciously getting the ideas from the air. You come up with the same ideas all on your own. Like music.

Ew copaganda.

WAIT IT WASN'T HIM?

bro: it's the guy! the assistant guy! who I was suspicious of before!

Love all these people & looking weird.

Turns out mobsters are more ethical. Love the music bwang.

Love her jacket btw. & so this entire thing happened in one day but then at the very end it was boom morning new day get julian skip the facts getting the dumpster stuff, then boom take down the murder board & do paperwork & go home?

Ooh fire on in the background Like how she's talking with her hands KB: I wish my mom knew you Me: Maybe she was the one who first bought kate a richard castle book Bro: "actually I DID bang your mom." Me: !? Bro: "So you don't have to worry, she liked me a lot"

gtg cook supper bai

[mosviqu]

IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH AND I HATE ALL OF THE THINGS I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ERA THEIR HARD WORK IS NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH WAHHH

i didn't even have the motivation to check out the last song from them ngl💔💔very sad about them but maybe i will like it after watching music shows lmao i wont give up (fully) on the 03liners💔 WAITTTT TRUE HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT INTAK WHAT THE HECK I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM (and same i saw that they are having a cb and i was like:o i forgot about u guys:o) AN AMAZING CREW!!!! also would selfishly add enhypen sunoo he is a lovely 03 liner as well🥹 (idk know mcnd☹️☹️ i heard like 2-3 of their songs but i never checked them out☹️ BUT IM HAPPY THERE IS AN 03 LINER IN THERE!!!)

IT IS IMPORTANT BUT IM STILL NOT SURE IF ITS 100% TRUE😭 i love keeho so much like that was the point where i was like yeah u are going to be my fav from here!! seeing the screenshots of it still makes me laugh so much

i can imagine that😭 my sister was in the exact same situation as u💀

IT WAS!!!! dino is lovely and i would love to see u being his body guard ngl🤣 I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DIDNT DO IT💔💔just such a big heartbreak💔💔ALSO TALKING ABOUT TREASURE DID U HEAR THE SNIPPET HE POSTED OF A SONG??? it sounds very great imo

I CAN SO RELATE TO THAT!!! english is so hard without english classes i never realized that till now💔 i only talk in english with my sister but it's a mess i even just struggle to put together sentences now😭 writing my replies takes so much brain cells from me so i always just pray that u will get what i'm trying to say even if it's not correct lmao🥸 RECORDING VLOGS IS SO MUCH FUN!! i did it for a while and it was so amazing so i recommend it only sent them to my bestie but it was actually so funny😭 THE BRITISH PEOPLE GOT US REAL HARD💔

(AHHH THANK U SO MUCH;-; I APPRECIATE IT!!! HANBIN!!! I HOPE U WILL HAVE MORE MOMENTS OVER HIM LMAO HE IS VERY GREAT😌 although be careful with asking me about zbone members cuz idk three of them;-; but working on it🤞 and u can tag me or message me ofc i dont mind🥹💕) (liebestraum anon🥳💕)

LITERALLYYYY i saw a tiktok where it compared all the other dances where its a member x woman (ten or baek) and it said "so this is okay, but this isnt?" showing enha and the comments were like "we are the problem" LMAO so at least they are self-aware.

no because i was really disappointed too >:(( but the title track still slaps i said what i said. watched them perform it too and they have cute bubbly vibes i am heartbroken for the lack of interest from my side. NO BC WHEN I STARTED BIASING INTAK AND REALISED HE WAS A 03 LINER I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. ((still am a jiung girlie at heart tho). i am really excited for their cb tho it sounds amazing!!! HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT SUNOO WHAT THE FUCK AAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY he's my fav 03 liner. ((there are actually 2 03 liners in mcnd but i forgot the other one LMAO i honestly cant remember their names anymore but i had a very short mcnd phase lol. all i know is that i'd die for minjae thats all)

i would honestly be a good bodyguard bc i have a lot of rage in me. like i could fully fight someone if i was mad enough LMAOO. everything for dino baby <3 I DID SEE THE SNIPPET I LOST MY SHIT LOWKEY HIGHKEY I AM SO EXCITED AAAAAAA

i mean english isnt really hard for me if we are talking abt writing and stuff but speaking out loud is more difficult if you don't regularly do it >:( dont worry we are on the same wavelength i always know what u mean w your replies AHAH sometimes i speak in eng w my roommate bc she is an english major (she only picked the major bc of me and then i ended up doing psychology so i owe her this bc her english isnt as good as mine) I USED TO RECORD VLOGS W MY BROTHER but we never posted them thank god. i'm still down to do it honestly its so fun LMAO

hanbin.......i looked up his name on tiktok once and now my fyp is filled with him and im so in love he's so cute and adorable and sweet like i saw clips of ppl giving him letters and how much he loves getting them and even asked if anyone has letters for him please zb1 fans give him letters!!!!!! no bc i only know ricky, hanbin, zhang hao and matthew :,) but the more i see them on my fyp the more i am convinced to stan once they debut like i legit debated on watching boys planet yesterday bc i lowkey like survival shows but when i found out the eps are 2 hours long i decided to just....not...do that...

also a small update on the tbz recs i did some progress and i really liked diamond life and survive the night :p i have like 11 songs left from the ones u recommended LMAO but yeah i loved those two

[paranoidpoltergeist]

Starscream is genuinely such a tragic character because as much as he's just kinda crazy every iteration has something that just makes u feel so bad for him.

IDW Starscream is something I couldn't scrape the surface of if you gave me 107 days. G1 Starscream's is not only mainly just used for comic relief the poor guy, but he lost his partner who then turns around and in his eyes betrays him. I mean Skyfire had every right to go "what in the fuc" and dip but the fact he went with Starscream in the first place tells me that somewhere along the way something happened to make him go coocoo.

In prime he was seemingly manipulated into joining the Decepticons and then constantly talked down to. From my perspective it honestly just seemed like Starscream was after praise or recognition which he never gets, now if this is because Megatron's a dick or because of the dark energon idk. I mean he kept the Decepticons afloat the entire time Megatron was gone chasing what was by all accounts a myth and did more then we saw Megs do THE ENTIRE SERIES. He managed to kill an Autobot, we never actually see any casualties and they've got a steady flow of energon.

I mean even in RID his main goal was to just kill Megs and tbh if I'd been beat down over everything I did, even if it was wrong bc I personally thought it was the right way to go about it, I'd be majorly pissed too. Yeah he wants control of the Decepticons but(and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong it's been a very long time since I've watched prime) I only remember him actually attempting to kill Megatron once or twice. Sure he was self serving but just bc he wants respect.

Bayverse Starscream was just the saddest thing I've ever seen. He could breathe and Megatron was drop kicking him off a building, didn't even get to be the treacherous sic jeez💀

Dude the WFC Trilogy was so wild idek how to word it so kind of a take on his character as a whole here. It was weird and characterizations were way off but I actually liked Starscream. He was still the guy we know and love but with a neat twist. He still had that tragic feeling to him especially getting traumatized and all but Dinobot telling him everything he went through wasn't an excuse to hurt other people was just *chefs kiss* bc it's really not. As tragic as Stars character is it's not an excuse for him to hurt the people around him. I mean no matter how bad I can feel for Prime Screamer he still used and manipulated everyone around him(Knockout for one). This is in no way me trying to justify or make him a good guy, a character can be tragic while still being a bad person. Somebody get him in therapy lol.

Oh man and don't get me started on the Unicron Trilogy Starscream. Probably the most tragic of them all, poor guy did not deserve any of Megatrons abuse. Allow me to let him speak for himself "I tried to gain favor from you, but nothing was ever good enough. No matter how many battles I fought, you always found fault." He really just wanted recognition, he literally sacrificed himself just so Megatron could get it through his thick head he needed to team up with the Autobots, and I recently had someone point out to me Starscream probably could have done some damage to Unicron with Swindle but he knew he was gonna die and he didn't wanna drag his mini-con down with him. Just ow.

Animated Screamer was just wild idek what he was on I can't defend him lmao bro opens the show trying and almost succeeded in killing Megan. I'd comment on Cyberverse if I could but I haven't actually got to watching that yet whoops. I feel like I remember seeing a clip of him talking about wanting the respect he deserved which honestly could have been his ego talking or really sad idk, but back to what I was originally saying.

Almost every time he shows up and you pay him any attention besides comic relief he's a super tragic character and it's not only what makes him one of my favorite but it makes me sad when I see people completely disregard everything but whats on the barest of surface levels. I feel like that's all Micheal Bay did he remembered Star being comic relief and so thats all he was. He's like an onion for lack of a better analogy, got a million layers, might make u cry, and you either love him or hate him. He could be such a compelling interesting character like with IDW but no one wants to look below the surface AND I GET IT 9/10 were literal children's shows so they're forgiven but Micheal Bay is on my hit list for that one.

edit: bro if this makes absolutely zero sense I literally wrote and posted this at 3am and then just scheduled it at a normal time for reasons I'm not actually 100% on so sorry💀

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: And the scale is what? Like a kidney or a 🚬? Janis: don't need anything off you but a lie Janis: so standard, yeah Jimmy: go on Janis: if any of my family ask, and it'll probably be Grace Janis: can you tell 'em I'm at yours, yeah Janis: they won't come over or anything cringe Jimmy: Alright Janis: sure? Janis: cool Janis: I owe you Jimmy: Standard, you said it Jimmy: meant to be with me #always Janis: you get I mean like, until further notice, right Janis: if I'm gone too long and they get aggro, just tell 'em I've gone but yeah, long as you can Jimmy: I weren't reckoning you were nipping out to get a coffee at one of my rival's Jimmy: even Gracie ain't that on one Janis: not that loyal either, sorry to report Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell her how devvo you are, make her life Jimmy: gonna have to if you leave the fans in a content draught Jimmy: how would I ever cope with becoming #irrelevant Janis: despite the fact that's exactly what you're after, supposedly Janis: and I'm there, remember, content as usually Janis: use your artiste imagination Jimmy: Now I've gotta do all the faking myself Jimmy: what kind of girlfriend Janis: I said I owed you Janis: now you get it Jimmy: You'll more than owe me when I have to seriously draft your sister in as your stand in Janis: don't Jimmy: Too many white redheads in this town Janis: I'm serious dickhead Janis: don't get with my sister Jimmy: It weren't a serious consideration Jimmy: literally no point to this if I were gonna Janis: yeah well I don't ask your reasons you don't ask mine Janis: might've changed Jimmy: not that fucking hard they won't have Jimmy: you got the lobotomy not me Janis: alright alright Janis: 😏 Janis: just can't stand to see her happy, yeah Jimmy: can't stand to see her, tah Janis: my sentiments exactly Jimmy: Better come back in a bit then Jimmy: so you won't have to see me with her Janis: 😑 stop it Jimmy: What? Janis: putting that mental image in my head Jimmy: I mean, dickhead, are you alright or what? Janis: ain't gonna off myself Janis: not that cunt, I wouldn't put that on you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: idk how to answer that Janis: don't see the point in lying but not asking this favour of ya as no cry for help Janis: alright, nothing I can't handle Jimmy: very comforting that Janis: you shouldn't of asked Janis: nothing you can do either, don't worry Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: 'course there is Janis: fake boyfriend chivalry is cute and all Jimmy: I know but stop flirting with me and you can be here instead of just saying you are Janis: 1. no one is flirting with you Janis: 2. can't sleep in your shed Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: [tells her where there is a front door key] Janis: what will your dad reckon Janis: don't you need to ask Jimmy: He ain't in Janis: yeah but I told you I need more than a coffee break Jimmy: Yeah, so you can have my room Janis: alright Janis: just 'til you get back tonight Jimmy: Til whenever Jimmy: I'll go in my brother's Janis: nah, I ain't gonna put you out Janis: I appreciate it though Jimmy: You ain't Jimmy: but alright Janis: come off it Jimmy: you Janis: what? Jimmy: I get that you scare easy, rich girl, but I'm the only 👻 round my house Janis: I ain't scared Janis: least of all of your gaff Jimmy: stick around then Janis: they been in today? Jimmy: what do you reckon? Janis: they clearly don't give a fuck Janis: idk what would it take for them to piss off, that's the truth Janis: if I knew well Jimmy: sure I could do it Janis: like the optimism Jimmy: full of it, me Jimmy: 🌞 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: 🌚 me Jimmy: there's no universe we ain't starcrossed 💔🎻 Janis: actually a tragedy Janis: I'll put it in my note Janis: f u god Jimmy: I'll post it for you, babe Janis: that's real romance Janis: 😩🤤😍 Janis: makes a girl wanna stick around Jimmy: and I ain't even said how much I'd miss you yet Janis: do I get a preview or have I gotta die for the 💕 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: Do you want me or do you wanna die? Janis: that's a big question Jimmy: I've got a big 💕 Janis: baby Jimmy: 😘 Janis: give me a night Janis: yeah Janis: then I can work out what next Jimmy: Take a night Jimmy: It's alright, I said Janis: don't wanna owe you too much Jimmy: So scared, you Janis: 😠 Jimmy: well cute Janis: I may owe ya Janis: but I will punch you Jimmy: I ain't scared, only you Janis: should be Janis: I have your keys Jimmy: I don't have a car for you to fuck up with them Jimmy: and there ain't fuck all for you to steal Jimmy: just a 🐕 Janis: you reckon I'm such a 🐰boiler Janis: should be worried for that poor pup Jimmy: that's your sister Janis: see, not a good replacement Jimmy: never said she were Janis: hmm Jimmy: Less need for a filter, like Jimmy: that's what I said Janis: you see her in person ain't ya Janis: every need for the filter, thanks Jimmy: 👩🏽 🤳🏽 Jimmy: what I'm bothered about Janis: we ain't identical Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Stop misunderstanding me, dickhead Janis: stop comparing me to her Janis: bad idea Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: such hard work, you Janis: you signed up for it Janis: and invited me over Janis: you must be cracked Jimmy: Do you wanna be uninvited or what? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: believe that when I don't hear it Janis: bollocks Janis: I never speak Janis: complained as much before Jimmy: I change my mind, you've complained before about that, mate Janis: just so unpredictable, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: stop flirting with me Jimmy: you signed up for it Janis: true Janis: that's my answer Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her] Janis: pretty good, mate Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you want me to walk this dog Jimmy: such an athlete 💕 Janis: you know it Janis: counts towards my IOU? Janis: like 25% maybe? Jimmy: Piss off Janis: worth a shot Jimmy: next time hit the 🎯 Janis: damn Janis: tough love Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: so hot Jimmy: I know Janis: that's how your shifts going then Jimmy: when don't it? Jimmy: 😎🚬☕💰💰💰 Janis: new bio Jimmy: it'll be a big hit on tinder Janis: probably just do the last 3 Jimmy: can't rip off your bio, bit rude Janis: feel free Janis: goals! Jimmy: We that type of couple, yeah? Janis: #lookingforathird Jimmy: don't tell 💀👑 though Janis: I'm not going to jail if she pegs it in the sack, fuck that Jimmy: I'd break you out, baby 💕 Janis: why are YOU not going to jail too Janis: admitting you ain't pulling your weight 😏 Jimmy: They'll deport me back to Manchester #duh Janis: ugh, can't fake ldr Jimmy: you'll have to come with when I rescue you then Janis: works for me Janis: get out of here after-all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: have to let me tag-along 'til I learn the language tho Jimmy: fuck that, I'll crack on teaching you when I get back in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [okay but hear me out, what if she lowkey just stayed at his on and off the whole time] Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge for a 🧠 or 👅 like yours, Judith Janis: [legit for her running away vibe that she would so I buy it tbh] Janis: I didn't wanna disrespect your culture Janis: being polite, like Jimmy: What culture and what decent manners? 😏 Janis: I'm catching on Janis: get me a flatcap wearing pipe smoking man in no time Jimmy: Ian is bound to show his face eventually, being my dad and the one on the lease an' all Jimmy: crack on Janis: assuming he don't wanna head back north though Janis: unless he's on the run Jimmy: he don't Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: population ain't that low Jimmy: your chances ain't that high Jimmy: grim up there, ain't you heard? Janis: and I ain't Janis: queen of the north, bitch, watch me Jimmy: won't be there to 👀 you binned me off Janis: you Janis: teaching me northern now so you can ditch me then Jimmy: you Jimmy: 'cause you wanna chain a pipe with some 👴💕 Janis: your type, first of all Janis: so welcome for me being so accomodating about the type of third we want Jimmy: hot's hot, babe Jimmy: can't fight it Janis: 😂 Janis: then don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: good Janis: sorted Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: mhmm Janis: tip you later Jimmy: if anyone else said that they'd be out on their ear, you know Janis: I'm special, you know Jimmy: Me and everyone who follows me 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want a post too Janis: hold up Janis: [some post about waiting for him to come back and a selfie on his bed like hey] Jimmy: well done for finding the right bed Janis: tnat could've been awkward Janis: where does your da sleep, actually Jimmy: garage Janis: ahh Jimmy: not in a car, like Janis: 💔 shame Jimmy: for his birds, yeah Jimmy: can't drive themselves away now Janis: 😬 Janis: who am i meant to be Janis: btw Janis: if I bump into the man Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: idk, a valid one? Jimmy: Why ain't you who you always are? Jimmy: a more valid one that Janis: I meant more like, do you have your fam or your socials or no Janis: am I your fake girlfriend to them or just a mate, like Jimmy: can't keep them off Jimmy: must be my 🥇 content Janis: who could resist Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [sends a 🔥 sext cos #mood after what she posted] Jimmy: treat your followers, mate Janis: 😏 Janis: too kind Jimmy: it's been said Janis: should run a hotline in your spare time Janis: 💰💰💰 Jimmy: How do you know I don't? Jimmy: other than the state of my room Janis: yeah aside from that Janis: literally that special, obvs mate Jimmy: Gotta keep you in 🚬 Jimmy: might bankrupt a lesser lad Janis: psh, I ain't the one with the habit Janis: and why I picked you, babe 😘 Jimmy: of all the bollocks to fake, Jasmine Janis: what Jimmy: I've 👀 yous and 👂 about the pipe you crave Jimmy: can't fool me Janis: 1. filth Janis: 2. very in to be a social smoker, just playing along with what they'd do Jimmy: 1. you better not be filthy in my bed Jimmy: 2. I'll pick you up a vape pen on my way home, yeah? Janis: 1. I'm not gonna hot box your room, better house guest than that, just Janis: 2. if you want me to peg you, just ask Jimmy: 1. Free house law, wouldn't be nowt I could do Jimmy: 2. sure that'd be very #goals but you're alright Janis: 1. see, you want me to really, perv Janis: 2. leave it at the smoke shack then, boy Jimmy: 1. you wanna really Jimmy: 2. what kind of boyfriend if I don't bring you 🎁 Janis: 1. even if I did, get what you said about this dog, won't leave me alone, what's it called? Janis: 2. bring me a ☕ Jimmy: 1. Too late to call her Mia or? Jimmy: 2. What do you actually want then? Janis: 1. 😂 no the 🐶 is too cute for that don't be mean Janis: 2. idk, what kind of smoothies do you do, something like that Jimmy: 1. You're right, she ain't half starved Jimmy: 2. 👍 Janis: 1. have to call RSPCA on you, not #goals Janis: 2. tah Jimmy: Be a quality break up story that Janis: shelf it for later Janis: no dogs actually harmed though, tah Janis: not co-signing that Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: fine Janis: you got a brother and a sister, right? Jimmy: You had a nose around my house or my 📷 IG? Janis: found the right bed on my 2nd attempt Janis: and pretty sure you've mentioned them Janis: but yeah, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't stalk all your socials Jimmy: A sane one Jimmy: yet to have one of them so crack on Janis: if I was sane they'd call me a nun Janis: gotta play to the audience Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: for you Janis: find one one day Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: cute Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: convincing denial, babe Janis: get it, you want me to tell you how cute you ain't, that's your kink Janis: busy though Jimmy: I don't want you to tell me what you're busy with in my bed though, tah Janis: walking this dog Janis: or getting it ready to Janis: idiot Jimmy: Don't bother, it's alright Janis: may as well, no Jimmy: If you want a 🥇 over my sister whose job it is Janis: oh will she be pissed off Janis: can always have 2 walks Jimmy: cute Jimmy: scared of her an' all? Janis: yeah obvs Janis: just trying not to be a dick to your fam and all Janis: they ain't done nothing to me Jimmy: Yet Jimmy: she could take you in a scrap, mate Janis: alright doubt that Janis: not gonna fight a child either you dick Jimmy: 🙀 you Janis: ain't you got hipsters and basic white girls to serve Jimmy: but my 1st priority is always you, girl 💕 Janis: thrilled about that, obvs Jimmy: I know Janis: feel the love Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you sure you wanna give up your bed Janis: I got places I can go Jimmy: I get it, it don't have a princess canopy Jimmy: you'll live Janis: but will I sleep Jimmy: alright you can borrow my 😎 Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: and I ain't begging, let's get that clear Janis: told you, got options Jimmy: and I told you, alright Jimmy: you can calm down now, my dear Jimmy: the better option is you 📷🐕💕 Janis: just saying, don't make me feel more like a cunt than I already do Janis: but obvs Janis: suckers for cuteness every time Jimmy: Leave it, I'll live too Jimmy: just don't lose the 🔑 that's our Cass' job an' all Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: #whenshedon'twantyouto💀💀💀 Janis: 💕 Janis: wait 'til I've worked on your old man so I've got an in, like Jimmy: he'll give you an alibi for 🔪🔪💀💀 long as it's only me Janis: that's the lowdown on them then Janis: what about your brother, he gonna come for me too? Jimmy: Depends, you got it in you to piss off a 6 year old or not? Janis: don't really do kids Janis: can't be as annoying as the ones I know though, not related to me for a start Jimmy: Related to me though 😏 Jimmy: just admit you 💕 me, babe Janis: shut up Janis: I'm related to my siblings and I'm great Janis: poor kid stands a chance Jimmy: He's related to Ian, no he don't Janis: bummer Janis: take him with when you get deported? Jimmy: quickest way to get arrested again that Jimmy: use your big head Janis: pretend he's yours Janis: who'd know Jimmy: Piss off I'm northern not a paddy Janis: alright and your ex ain't got a kid nah Jimmy: that's a 👶 not a kid Janis: true Janis: yeah 9 might be insane Janis: can you grow bum fluff, age yourself up before the 🚬 do Jimmy: I dunno Janis: tell him he's like 4 Janis: buy you as 18, sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that your way of telling me you wanna go pub in a bit then? Janis: duh Janis: i am part paddy Jimmy: How big's the % Jimmy: might be a dealbreaker Janis: 50% Janis: 25% scouse 25% brazilian Jimmy: Made you do maths in the holidays 😏 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: *👻 an all Jimmy: any chance you can say you're 💀💀💀 so I can leave? Janis: well my irish fam ain't even from this part of ireland but keep that to yourself 🤐 already got the ropes out, like Janis: only so many funerals I can have but sure Jimmy: I'll keep your real kinks to myself too Jimmy: put the ropes away though you'll wind up the 🐕 Janis: 💕 Janis: boo, no fun Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Best fake boyfriend you've ever had, sweetheart Janis: competition of one but 🏆 Janis: there you are Jimmy: tah Janis: fake win for a fake boy Janis: only right Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: about to pull a fake sickie, me Janis: that is actual smart though so Jimmy: and you owe me some fake nursing Jimmy: might as well cash in Janis: yeah? Jimmy: send me one of the nudes 💀👑 has sent you so I can 🤢 Janis: 😂 Janis: just don't leak 'em Janis: for my eyes only, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: I promise Janis: [sends her the latest god knows what Mia has been sending for the lols] Jimmy: she's Janis: in love with me? Janis: yeah Janis: don't be threatened Jimmy: but my fragile masculinity though! 😱😱😱 Janis: I'll nurse it better baby Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: put the outfit on, I'll be there in a bit Janis: 😏 Janis: alright Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [is there when she gets back from walking Twix because it was a long walk and he's a sneaky speedy mofo] Janis: ['fancy seeing you here' 🤓] Jimmy: [hands her the smoothie he's made specially] Janis: [is doing a #skeptical face but changes it to a 'not bad' when she tries it] Jimmy: [gives her a look like go on then, tell me what's wrong with it but goes to put kettle on for his self #northern] Janis: ['ain't just resident eye candy then, good to know'] Jimmy: [does a bow cos nerd] Janis: [just giving Twix love whilst he makes tea, shouts through 'so you gonna show me where it hurts or am I guessing?' like you don't need to play nurse yet eager bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's making her one even though she's literally got a smoothie so who else is eager, comes through with said tea after a bit and puts the mugs down so he can put a hand over his heart like an even bigger nerd] Janis: [make pouty poor boy face 'might be incurable, that'] Jimmy: ['if you can't do it, you can't' shrugs] Janis: ['making it a challenge?'] Jimmy: [sips tea with an eyebrow raised like a sassy bitch] Janis: [lols, 'okay, so your face muscles are working fine, I get it' casually squishing his face 'cos cheeky too] Jimmy: [when you give her a little smooch but it's FINE cos you've got your phone out okay] Janis: [#allforthegramsureboys how many people really wanna see you making out erryday like some yeah you fine but still] Jimmy: [we know you ain't even holding that phone properly boy and then you won't post it cos you'll say it's too blurry or whatever] Janis: [one of these days you gon just drop it and the pretense but not yet] Jimmy: [soon kids, just hold on] Janis: ['how's the heart now? just challenging to go further oh lads] Jimmy: [puts her hand over said heart like that's nbd and not at all dangerous, with a shrug like I ain't dead yet so] Janis: [we all know it'd be beating pretty fast so bold Jimothy, just looking at her hand on his chest 'cos 'real question is, do you want it to be better or do you wanna..' when you trail off but we get it] Jimmy: ['more goals if I die for you, Juliet'] Janis: [when you're taking that as a yes #bothproblematic and you just kick it up to an actual make out sec again phone is out but who cares] Jimmy: [both of you just going for it like this isn't a dangerous game, impressed that you ain't dropped that phone tbh] Janis: [also your teas going cold, jussayin, when you just straddle his lap but don't sit] Jimmy: [OMG THE TEA] Janis: [my boo like nooooo stop rn and finish that brew] Jimmy: [gonna have to microwave that in a bit] Janis: [least Twix can bark 'cos jealous and they'll think someone's about to run up in so even if they ain't it then breaks the moment] Jimmy: [Good 🐕 yeah let's not have Cass descend yet cos she can always cockblock another moment should we need] Jimmy: [just drinking that tea casually now like nothing happened okay] Janis: [my thoughts exactly, at least Janis can love said cockblocking dog now 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [#true love] Janis: [doing that post about how he's poorly/playing nurse etc gotcha covered boy] Jimmy: [doing flirty replies so you can safely flirt lol] Janis: [so blatant lads] Janis: you seen that lot today? Jimmy: [nods] Janis: shoulda messaged us Janis: final fuck you to 'em before I go, like Jimmy: soz there were a rush on Janis: no worries, got a day now Janis: drop in tomorrow, undoubtedly be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just picked up his lighter and are playing with it Jimmy: brb Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back in a bit with art hoe supplies so he can draw her] Janis: ['homework?'] Jimmy: [shows her what he's doing] Janis: [when you try to be casual and 😏 about it but are immediately like oh and self-conscious of how you look rn 'am I meant to pose or what?'] Jimmy: [just shrugs because he's helpful like that lol 'Do you want it to turn out decent or not?' because challenge always like be my muse bitch] Janis: [🙄 'if you wanna be goals you'll draw me pretty no matter what' but is her usual effortless model self 'cos 'course she can] Jimmy: [🙄 back 'By now I've had plenty of practice at faking I reckon you are, no challenge or owt'] Janis: [sighs 'must be nice having good taste, even if it's pretend, welcome' 😘] Jimmy: [sighs back dramatically without looking up from the page 'be nicer if you stopped moving your lips, dickhead'] Janis: ['mr serious artiste needs to concretrate, okay, okay' mimes zipping 'em] Jimmy: [makes a scoff news but in the next second you know he's doing a cute lil concentration face] Jimmy: [*noise] Janis: [stealth taking a picture of that 'cos is cute] Jimmy: [chewing on that pen like a cute mofo also how confident not to use pencil boy] Janis: [like you've drawn her before lol Jimmy: [giving yourself well away] Janis: [what does one even do when getting drawn, just getting so comfy on that couch, so confident bitch] Jimmy: [at least his doodle style wouldn't take an age] Janis: [trulyfe] Jimmy: [lowkey shoving it at her like well I'm done and soooo not bothered haha] Janis: [when you can't be like I LOVE IT 'cos 1. a picture of yourself 2. you're not meant to be bothered either but you do love so you're like 'you're actually good then' like fairplay] Jimmy: [when you can't deal with even such a lowkey compliment so you have to leave the room and pretend like it's cause the dog is being so annoying like fuck off to the kitchen Twix you slag but also the awks is radiating off you so she's gotta be aware] Janis: [just pocketing that drawing, like] Janis: wanna 🚬? Jimmy: [when you don't answer you just head out there] Janis: [leaves it a hot sec like well am I invited or nah but then decides to go out regardless] Jimmy: [sit on that trampoline kids] Jimmy: [when you light up for her even though you feel awks cos habit] Janis: [takes it and lies back on the trampoline looking up at the sky and smoking] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she can't see him do it as if he didn't spend however long doing that when he was drawing, okay boy] Janis: ['s'comfy' and closing her eyes 'cos in my mind she's probably had a couple nights out in town already 'cos usually how she'd do before running] Jimmy: [takes off his jacket or hoodie or whatever and spreads it over her like a blanket cos nerd] Janis: [when you just allow that] Jimmy: [Twix just jumping on her because can't get a moment gdi] Janis: [at least she can get her to settle next to her like shh] Jimmy: [just texting Cass like where are you btw because can't join in with the snuggle] Janis: [a fair point also gotta tell her dis bitch staying over like] Jimmy: [really lingering over this convo because what to say or what to do, god bless him] Janis: [she's just oblivious soz lol] Jimmy: [after a while just poking her like 'You hungry or what?'] Janis: ['oi' but getting up, leaning on her elbows 'yeah, I could eat, want me go get something?'] Jimmy: [pushes her back down but gently cos he's gonna go and does] Janis: charming Janis: wanna go twos at least Jimmy: Obviously not, 'cause yeah I am such a 👑 charming, like Jimmy: I gotta pick my brother up anyway Janis: don't be stealing my shoes Janis: know they'd probably fit you but still, not even fake like that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I've touched your feet and I wouldn't be caught 💀💀💀 Janis: nothing wrong with my feet Jimmy: If you want sell pics to pervs, crack on Jimmy: #notmykink Janis: make a lot off that Janis: I don't need it Janis: 👑💰 Jimmy: hand it over my way then Janis: called being a pimp, that Jimmy: alright so if anyone asks, this convo's fake Janis: alright, rebrand to manager and you get 20% Janis: all in the details, boy Jimmy: Am I signing in 🩸 or that only the 💀💌? Janis: what you so hesitant for Janis: my fucking feet Janis: 🗡 least you can do is suffer Jimmy: I were wondering how much of my bodily fluids you're gonna want over the course of this bollocks Janis: don't be so crude Janis: talking about making softcore fetish porn here, not your emissions, thanks very much Janis: be professional Jimmy: become a nun after you 💔 me not before Janis: you can't 💔 Janis: become a priest if you want access to that untapped source of 😻 Jimmy: You, dickhead Janis: not gay Jimmy: No shit Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: you, dickhead Jimmy: You're a bigger dickhead Janis: awh, it's mm if at all, don't worry 💕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: how long you reckon you'll be Jimmy: Depends Janis: yeah but Janis: rough estimate Jimmy: Yeah but are you gonna tell me what you wanna eat or have I gotta guess? Janis: get whatever you lot want Janis: I'll eat anything Jimmy: Then I'll be a bit longer than it takes 💀👑 to slide in your DMs whenever you post but not as long as it takes her to take no for an answer Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: gonna go for a run then Jimmy: I won't let the 🐕 know 💔 Janis: can't keep friends, me Janis: soz babe Jimmy: my fault, should've warned her what you're like Janis: you'd have to know for that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: at it again, you Janis: what, we mates now Jimmy: who's asking? Janis: who do you think Janis: 🐕 hasn't mastered the phone Jimmy: I don't reckon you have any need to ask, Jennifer Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Stop trying to friendzone me, babe Jimmy: It ain't #goals Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: I ain't the one asking questions I know the answers to Jimmy: such a girl, you Janis: and I'm the know-it-all Janis: ok bighead Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna share the 🏆 Janis: you who don't wanna share Jimmy: What you on about? Jimmy: I love sharing, me Janis: nah Janis: ain't that bad a roomie, like Janis: don't ask gracie though Jimmy: don't ask her round, don't ask her questions, you don't want much, you Janis: shut up Janis: how often you have to see her, welcome the break Janis: I would Jimmy: I do Janis: exactly, don't complain, boy Jimmy: Or what? Janis: plenty of ways to shut you up Jimmy: Go on then Janis: 🔇 Janis: feel that mute Jimmy: 🎻🎻still playing on Janis: sorry what was that? Jimmy: come here, grub is Janis: okay, be right there Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't make me 🤢 into it like Jimmy: but that sounds so hot 💕 Jimmy: bit rude of you to take the spotlight though Jimmy: it were my sickie Janis: oh yeah, soz Janis: be a better patient and I'll be a better nurse Jimmy: be 🥇 and it wouldn't matter Janis: weren't me, was the dog Janis: but okay, round 2 Jimmy: ain't even fed me 🍇 or nowt Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 😂 you aren't a roman emperor Jimmy: I'm on my fake deathbed here Janis: so I've gotta spoil you, yeah Jimmy: do something Janis: been trying Janis: saying, have your bed back, I'll take the floor Jimmy: I don't want my bed back Janis: tell me what you want Jimmy: I have done Janis: get the grapes then shall I Janis: brb, detour Jimmy: come and eat, dickhead Janis: well alright Janis: later then Jimmy: I don't even like 🍇 alright Janis: see, how can I win Janis: honestly, setting me up, shame 😏 Jimmy: I'll spit them out off 📷 Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: you baby Janis: you can swallow Jimmy: alright, I'll do it for you 💕 Janis: true love Janis: [show up for this dinner moment] Jimmy: [Bobby and Twix casually cockblocking but not cos he made the kid sit up the table #smart while they can stay on the sofa where they make all their mems but Cass not because we may need her to actually in a bit] Janis: [good thinking boy, also Janis casually breathing a sigh of relief 'cos feels weird meeting his fam whilst it's fake tbh, not Ian fuck Ian but rude on the kids, like] Jimmy: [can you remember his house layout like was it open plan or what was the situation?] Janis: [nah we did a more closed off moment 'cos a rented house, like they had a lil hall, the garage off to one side, then the lounge then the kitchen with a table Jimmy: [okay yeah I do vaguely remember the sims house now] Janis: [so tuck in lads] Jimmy: [when it should be more awks than it is #foreverthemood] Janis: [moves so fast 'cos you so extraaaa] Jimmy: [so comfortable with each other even with all your #issues lads, love it] Janis: [#fated] Jimmy: [when you go get her a drink so you can check Twix ain't stole all Bobby's food and generally be a good big brother on the low] Janis: [yes, tis important, can't be allowed to just chill like you ain't got responsibilities] Jimmy: [she can just hear them being cute in that kitchen like] Janis: [a moment, good thing Bobby likes her when the time comes because she's not so extra with kids and in his face] Jimmy: [not always a 😒 sod, are you Jimothy? lol it's my fave when they are such a cute lil fam unit bye Ian] Janis: [we know you soft boy, and yas casually kick him out of his own home #notsoz] Jimmy: [he's back and he's raided his shit dad's stash cos never too early #fuckyouIan] Janis: [raising your brow but doing a golf clap #approved] Jimmy: [doing a cheers at her] Janis: ['you slipped the kid a nightcap, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['You wish' 😏] Janis: [😳😒] Janis: ['I meant, what passes as parenting 'round here, dickhead'] Jimmy: [to answer her question he goes to clear the table cos the little bab wants to 🎨] Janis: [get your art on babby] Jimmy: [such an unspoken I do, dickhead if there ever was one] Janis: [so domestic] Jimmy: [comes back to drink that drink and put some bollocks on the TV that neither of them care about] Janis: [standard, when you've basically downed yours 'cos nervous energy] Jimmy: [gives her a look but doesn't say anything] Janis: [a 'what?' look] Jimmy: [one back but we know he means what's wrong] Janis: [shakes head like don't worry, I'm good] Jimmy: ['Do you wanna go to my room?' Oh the MANY layers of meaning in that] Janis: [when you shrug 'if you like' but you clearly do 'cos you're halfway up] Jimmy: [when you bring more drinks as a shameless excuse to follow her cos you don't know if she meant she wants to be alone or she wants to be alone with you and you can't ask] Janis: ['purely medicinal, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod] Janis: [shrugs 'better than grapes' then puts out her hand 'do I get one?'] Jimmy: ['do you want one?' but in such a flirty manner that there is no need for] Janis: ['you know I do' matching tone 'cos obvs] Jimmy: ['take it then' boy you better stop] Janis: [does, sipping maintaining that eye contact honey] Jimmy: [likewise because gotta] Janis: ['stay' when you gotta add, quickly after a pause 'or I'll feel bad'] Jimmy: [when you make yourself comfortable cos you can make a big song and dance of doing it and hide how much you're dying rn 'can't have that, meant to be me' does the fakest cough of all time and 😏] Janis: ['oh right, yeah get in then' making a thing of getting your phone out and ready to give yourselves some time 'cos ultimately you're gonna hop on that bed and straight up put his head in your lap so you can take a pic stroking his hair] Jimmy: [when you pretend like she's got something on her face and you've gotta get it before any pics are taken but we know there isn't anything there and the boy is just being extra] Janis: ['better?' is she referring to her face or how he feels, we'll never know] Jimmy: [responds by taking her hair down #for the aesthetic bitch we all 👀 you just wanting to run your fingers through it bye] Janis: [still just stroking his hair but pulls it (gently calm down) when he takes hers down 'this is about you, not me'] Jimmy: ['it's about you an' all' when you gotta pause cos calm down with sounding like you care and also how much you wanna make that true in a sexy way 'whoever's story it ends up on'] Janis: [nods like alright and also what can she trust herself to say] Jimmy: [casually taking his top off like oh we should redo all of that as if anyone cares that much about the details #shameless] Janis: [when you're like true though and pull down whatever bottoms you have on like, gotta have that skin to skin moment bye] Jimmy: [trying not to die or look at her too shamelessly and failing at both lbr] Janis: [when you do an instagram story purely so you can kiss his forehead] Jimmy: [kill me tbh and I ain't even there] Janis: [how you gonna slow this down lads hohum] Jimmy: [literally cos we all know how he wants this his head in her lap situation to end and it isn't with a picture] Jimmy: [at least we have the kids and dog to cockblock] Janis: [true facts, gotta keep it family friendly] Jimmy: [me just forever being like how far can we push this before it's too far haha] Janis: [s'the point baby] Jimmy: [I'm thinking] Jimmy: [we need something #intimate to happen and bonus points if it's the first time too but idk] Jimmy: [not the #cute moment I was trying to think of but #duh while we've got them here we should do the ultimate playfight cliche since on a bed it's BLATANT and like she could poke him as a trampoline throwback cos they're still just lying there together #casual and be all I thought you'd fallen asleep cos pisstake at how tired he always is and of course like I said playfight ensues and we've got all that good shit like him tickling her and her squirming way more than necessary 👀 you both so of course he pins her down but not really cos we all know you could escape easily if you wanted to 👀 you still and SO much good eye contact and he pulls her hair and she bites her lip and he stares at it but OBVS before they can kiss Cass storms back through with a front door slam that puts Grace's school trip one to shame and has Twix wilding] Jimmy: [which leaves him nothing to do but say fuck's sake with more feeling than anyone has ever for all the reasons and go downstairs to talk to her aka have a row cos she's always in the mood and so's he now] Janis: [A+ idea boo] Janis: [whichever door they ain't at, she goes out] Jimmy: [don't blame you remotely girl] Janis: [lets some time pass] Janis: if you want anything bringing back, lmk Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Janis: what does that mean, easy enough question, ain't it Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: that I've gone out, and if you need some milk or some shit, I'll bring some back later Janis: not offering to do a drugs run for you, soz Jimmy: and I've been out so what the fuck else would I need Janis: alright, simple no would suffice Jimmy: Would it? Janis: try it and find out Jimmy: You wish Janis: 🙄 Janis: not that arsed Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: sounds like it Janis: your lack of manners ain't my concern Janis: didn't ask you to say thanks or anything Jimmy: You can have it anyway Jimmy: tah for doing one when I'm up to my eyes here Janis: yeah, you're welcome, sarcasm ignored Janis: nothing I could do Jimmy: try it and find out Janis: like what, read your brother a bedtime story whilst you bollock your sister Jimmy: like not take the 1st chance you can to fuck off Janis: was giving you space to sort it out in private, actually Jimmy: bollocks Janis: how is that bollocks Jimmy: how ain't it? Janis: did I look ready to go out to you or what Janis: not got anything else to do in this town tonight Jimmy: Wouldn't know, didn't get a goodbye in Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: You pissed off 'cause it got too real for you, owt else is bollocks Janis: you reckon that all you want Jimmy: Deny it all you want Jimmy: you can be full of chat about 'how this will only work if...' and how we need each other but you ain't standing by it Jimmy: gotta keep me in my box and that ain't the 4 walls of this house, yeah? Jimmy: Like I said, too real Janis: Stop being dramatic and chatting shite Janis: if that were it, I wouldn't offer to come back, would I Janis: I'd go, as planned Jimmy: Then what? Janis: what I said, dickhead Janis: I know what it is when everyone knows your family's shit Janis: I was getting out the way Jimmy: That were nowt Jimmy: you're gonna need a thicker fake skin, girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: Funny how you don't get in my way when there's washing up to be done, rich girl Janis: yeah, you caught me Jimmy: dry handed Jimmy: I know, like Janis: you're so unfunny it's unreal Jimmy: unreal is right Jimmy: you reckon you're getting my best material Janis: please, save it Jimmy: please, give me your permission again Jimmy: desperate for it, me Janis: no shit Janis: total gimp, you, s'obvious Jimmy: I get it, you want the mental pictures Jimmy: gotta do something with the alone time you've given yourself by doing one Janis: Means I've got 'em Janis: you owe me another lobotomy, or an acid deep clean Jimmy: put it on my tab, babe Janis: take it off mine and we're quits Janis: better idea Jimmy: Piss off Janis: I get it, you want me forever in your debt Jimmy: 'course I do Janis: mhmm Janis: like I said, transparent 👻 boy Jimmy: buy us 🚬 and I might let you back in 🧛 girl Jimmy: how's that for clear? Janis: pretend I don't know how much you want me back, crystal 👌 Jimmy: that's the 🐕 sweetheart, it ain't me Janis: whatever, the washing up moan was more convincing, babe Jimmy: done my convincing for the night, haven't I? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: keep it to yourself Janis: you ain't the only lad Janis: sure they'll find it very #relatable Jimmy: shut up Janis: 😂 Jimmy: such a dickhead Janis: you love being the best boyfriend in town, don't you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you know the drill Janis: sure do Jimmy: You not pulling your weight only makes me look better Jimmy: so understanding and 💕 all that bollocks Janis: fuck off Janis: I do well more than you, boys just get sucked off for doing the literal bare minimum in any scenario, especially not being a total twat to girls Janis: don't get it twisted, dickhead Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for the dance floor, that's about it Janis: bullshit Janis: you've got the easy job Janis: I've turned every bitch from saying I'm gay as a diss to being scared I'll steal their lad in no time Jimmy: You had one rumour about you 💔 I've got loads Jimmy: gotta keep up with them and prove them wrong Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you don't listen as well as you reckon Janis: 💩 Jimmy: might be 'cause you had my 👂s off Janis: get over it Janis: how you ever cope with having a real girlfriend Jimmy: never baby 💕 Janis: idiot Jimmy: stop flirting with me for 1 sec OMG Jimmy: proper sweet talker, you Janis: about as delusional as her Janis: and as much chat Jimmy: actually 💔 now Janis: ikr Janis: imagine actually being her Janis: gutting Jimmy: you're alright, tah, I won't Janis: but you love the pain Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Better ways to get a dose of it, like inviting you down the pub Jimmy: coming or what? Janis: cute 💕 Janis: guess so Janis: have to disappoint some lads but that's just how it is when you're so in demand Jimmy: so much enthusiasm be still my 💘 Jimmy: one on the corner, I'll be the mug getting them in Janis: 👍 Janis: not been gone that long Janis: remember what you look like Jimmy: #unforgettable Jimmy: send tweet Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll sign off on that Janis: pretty odd looking, it sticks with you Jimmy: You can do better Jimmy: with insults and lads obvs Janis: 🤷 I mean Janis: I'm sure you can get lads too, mate Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: 😂 that's why you wanna go pub Janis: how rude to invite me Jimmy: you wanted a third, babe Janis: well we gotta agree Jimmy: do owt to please you, you know that Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: cute Janis: don't reckon there's any fitting another person in your bed though Janis: have to wait Jimmy: the lounge has got loads of floor space, be alright Janis: oh right, lock the dog in the kitchen and the kids in their rooms Janis: it's a party Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's in here having an after work #sesh so I can whip his 🔑 off him an' all Janis: oh, a good point Janis: no one needs that Jimmy: Our 🎉 been pissed on 'cause I don't 👀 him Jimmy: @iantaylor8 do one, mate 👍 Janis: put a DND on the door Janis: old school Jimmy: DNR on the 👴💕 Janis: standard practice when you're 😈 Jimmy: you stopped blagging you're 😇 now then? Janis: can do both, multi-talented Jimmy: Good Jimmy: dunno how I feel about the end of an era Janis: you like good girls, huh Janis: don't be spreading that about me, tah Jimmy: don't get #badder than my ex so from now on, yeah Jimmy: but alright, your secret halo is safe Janis: 🍻 drown those sorrows, I'm nearly there Jimmy: had loads of 🍺 and 👴💕 already tah Jimmy: you'll have to go some to keep up Janis: slag 😏 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about me Jimmy: fighting lasses off every day as is Janis: you poor thing Janis: did you not think about just going gay Janis: fake gay, that is Jimmy: I know 🎻🎻 things I do for you, Jules Jimmy: just ain't believable that Janis: what, you're SO straight 😂 Jimmy: I mean, this lad at work is a right stunner but getting him to be my fake boyfriend would be a bit harder than it were getting you to make 😍 at me Jimmy: he's proper busy with the ☕ Janis: piss off Jimmy: needed a rich girl with nowt to do Janis: don't need to repeat myself, thanks, see above Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't smirk at me cunt Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 then Janis: go away Janis: was a school trip, no one had anything better to do Jimmy: come here Janis: outside Janis: got your cigarettes Jimmy: [appears like oh hey just casually sticking his head out the door and looking around dramatically like ?? cos nerd] Janis: [🙄 'you really are a shit actor, you know'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'got everyone I need to fooled'] Janis: [a shrug 'if you say so' and holding out the pack, which she's already taken one from] Jimmy: ['you just heard me' takes one obvs] Janis: ['what's that count for' when you've bought your own lighter so you've lit your own #ultimateshade] Jimmy: [🙄 how weird it'd feel to just light his own at this point like] Janis: [awkward] Jimmy: [awkward silent moody smoking ftw] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [leaning against the wall to show how #overit you are, oh life] Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: thanks to me Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: 👏 Janis: begins with a t Jimmy: you are being a twat, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: very clever Jimmy: 🏆🧠 Janis: go celebrate then, dickhead Jimmy: gimme chance to finish my 🚬 damn girl Janis: [walks further away to finish hers] Jimmy: [walks up to her cos that dickhead] Janis: ['What part of this aren't you getting?'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like what] Janis: ['I said, go away, remember'] Jimmy: ['what's that count for, you said that an' all, remember'] Janis: ['you're so fucking- annoying'] Jimmy: ['Is coming here gonna make me any less annoying?'] Janis: ['what?'] Jimmy: [gestures for her to come in the pub and have a drink with him] Janis: [when you're just looking at him exasperated af but then stomp in before him] Jimmy: [gets drinks and puts hers down in front of her like there you go without asking what she wanted, bit rude] Janis: [doesn't say thanks, obvs] Jimmy: [when you've swapped awkward silent moody 🚬 for awkward silent moody 🍺] Janis: [#goals lmao] Jimmy: [truly] Jimmy: You're Jimmy: [when you deliberately are vague af] Janis: go on Janis: say what you wanna say Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: [when you shake your head like NOPE abort mission] Janis: fine Janis: [🙄 and getting up to get more drinks] Jimmy: [forever not realising drinks aren't a good idea you two, god bless] Janis: [when you're probably chatting more to the bartender than you are to the person you're with rn oh lads] Jimmy: [when seeing that'd put you in an even better mood which is great Jimothy thanks so much] Janis: [coming back, putting the drinks down, then going straight to the bogs like brb] Jimmy: [you know he'll have probably downed that by the time she gets back #suchfun] Janis: [back like okay] Janis: how many you had? Jimmy: [shrugs because not enough clearly] Janis: cheat Jimmy: 1. didn't accept no challenge Jimmy: 2. rebel with only one cause, remember Jimmy: 3. you famously don't play by the rules, why should I? Janis: 1. you said catch up Janis: 2. how can i Janis: 3. dickhead Jimmy: I said you'd have to be going some Jimmy: and you will Janis: Oh, will I? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: crack on Janis: wow love it when you get all demanding Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Missed you too Janis: 'course Janis: 💘 Jimmy: [just on his phone like a rude bitch, I'm like LORD let that booze kick in soon please] Janis: [lol like boy you asked her here, twice] Jimmy: [HONESTLY give it up bitch you're ridiculous] Janis: 💬 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: your turn Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [goes] Janis: third? Jimmy: Why you trying to make me do maths in the holidays? Janis: the maths is would you bang the barman or nah Jimmy: would you? Janis: [shamelessly staring like 🤔 at this poor man who's probably 30 odd and not cute enough to go there like soz] Janis: not by first choice, nah Jimmy: There's your answer then Janis: considerate as ever, darling Jimmy: owt to please you, I said Janis: I know Janis: but we know what I said and all Jimmy: weren't listening me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [puts drink in front of her with a look like you alright then?] Janis: [look back like are you? but nods too] Jimmy: [drinking instead of answering] Janis: ['I can go, if you've got shit to sort'] Jimmy: [shaking his head so casually but the 👀 are like DON'T] Janis: ['good, break my heart if you sent me back to that lot' smiles weakly like joking but not really] Jimmy: ['What kind of dickhead would take the only job you've ever had and turn it round on you, rich girl'] Janis: [🙄 'imagine'] Jimmy: ['don't wanna, it's bloody tragic'] Janis: [kicks him under the table, but not full pelt lol] Jimmy: [throws a beer mat at her with an oi but also not that hard obvs] Janis: [just ripping it up casually] Jimmy: 🎊👰💕 Janis: [😏] Janis: lemme know when you meet her and I'll practice my overarm Jimmy: throw it over whoever you wanna bring back, gimme the warning Jimmy: 🤞👴 Janis: [lols] Janis: [takes a big look around and shakes head like nah, not feeling it] Jimmy: I get it, Ian still ain't showed 💔 Jimmy: I'll get some 🎻🎻 on the box for you, mate Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: after careful consideration, I can't hack being your step mum, thanks but no thanks Jimmy: take the 🐕 leave the rest, I know Janis: nah, your sibs seem fine too, sure Ian is the daddy I've dreamed him to be too Janis: it's all you 💔 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Poor baby Janis: want comforting again yeah Jimmy: Depends Janis: yes, it will be me doing the comforting Janis: can't guarantee anyone else at such short notice Jimmy: but are you gonna do what you did before or have you got new tricks? Janis: Depends Jimmy: On how much time you can blag for yourself by borrowing mine? Not much, girl Jimmy: not if you're using that one any road Janis: no Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what? Janis: on what angle you're hitting 📸 Janis: only so much the Instagram guidelines allow for Jimmy: that'll be every 💕 Janis: then what do you expect Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🥇 for the 'gram and 🥇 comforting ain't the same thing Janis: shocking, I know Jimmy: I said nowt about the 'gram that were you Janis: Why ever else would we do it? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gives one back] Jimmy: might fancy snapchat Janis: only if they pay Janis: 60/40 me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 Janis: don't mean I work for free Jimmy: send me a bill then, babe Janis: after Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What were you gonna say Jimmy: When? Janis: Earlier Janis: you never said what I was Jimmy: nowt Janis: bollocks Janis: you can say it Janis: heard it all before Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: leave it out Janis: fine Janis: drink up Janis: [goes bar] Jimmy: just Janis: don't bother, why'd you tell the truth anyway, yeah Jimmy: take whatever you said about me and replay it in a northern accent Jimmy: that'll do Janis: non-committal enough Janis: idek what I said so 👍 Jimmy: sorted, like Janis: sure Jimmy: I actually dunno though, alright Jimmy: what you are Janis: racist Janis: after you made me break down my heritage too Janis: plain rude Jimmy: bit rude to say I made you, Jill Janis: well, you to a T that Jimmy: you reckon you've got me to a T, yeah? Janis: want me to say I can't work you out and all? Jimmy: Do you want me to chat bollocks or leave it for you to do? Janis: chat something Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why am I here otherwise Jimmy: you wanted a drink, you've got a drink Janis: when did I ask for a drink Jimmy: no need Jimmy: I dunno how to describe you in one word that don't mean I know nowt Jimmy: could've said pisshead for a start Janis: yeah you reckoned I smoked as well Janis: nice one columbo Jimmy: and as I'm so wrong you won't want one Jimmy: [struts out] Janis: I'm gonna drink yours, twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well convincing it's only social, that Janis: what do you want me to say, I'll piss in it Janis: not that committed to fucking you up Jimmy: can't ever just leave it, can you? Jimmy: goes for nowt Janis: you started it Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: how did I? Janis: you wouldn't tell me what you said Janis: now you've pissed off Jimmy: I fucking Jimmy: I went for a smoke 'cause I can admit it's a habit Janis: Well I'm not gonna lie 'cos you wanna hear I got a drinking problem or some shit Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I've got other ways I deal with my shit, alright Jimmy: and I'm not trying to get an invite on a run, alright Janis: What you saying Janis: smoking isn't your thing, you don't own it Jimmy: it ain't yours either, you said Janis: I can do it as and when I want Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: oh, fuck off Jimmy: make up your mind Jimmy: you were trying to kick off at me for leaving your side a bit ago Janis: I'm fucking tired Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Let me finish my drink that you better not have touched and we'll go Janis: You can stay Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [reappears to down that drink like come on then] Janis: [when you go to grab his hand instinctively 'cos ages of people watching you but then drop it like it's hot like shit] Jimmy: [when you just take her hand again anyway like you gotta drag her away from here kicking and screaming lol instead of the fact you know she wants to leave so badly that you didn't even sit down to neck that pint] Janis: ['when you get up in the night, don't stand on me, like'] Jimmy: [It ain't me with the freakishly long legs, girl. How do you reckon I'm gonna make that happen from the next room?'] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ?? but less dickhead-ish than he's been doing it] Janis: [shakes head like nevermind] Jimmy: [cups her face because he can pretend he's being fake with it if he needs to even if the genuine soft tones of his voice could give him away if he knew how much of a #softboy he is 'what, babe?'] Janis: [acts like she's gonna bite his hand literal but just pushes it away hastily 'nothing, I thought you were staying'] Jimmy: ['I'll have the floor then'] Janis: [shakes head 'don't be stupid'] Jimmy: ['You'] Janis: ['s'your bed, dickhead'] Jimmy: [You're tired, dickhead. Just take it off me'] Janis: ['can sleep anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['my bed'll suit you alright then'] Janis: [shakes head like no point arguing on this anymore] Jimmy: [gives her a look like too right there isn't cos you're having my bed, end of discussion] Janis: ['don't sleep on the floor' what does that mean what are you wondering what do you know] Jimmy: [nods which is about as cryptic, oh lads] Janis: ['your sister beat you in a fight then too?'] Jimmy: ['you saying you fancy your chances?' it's really hard to make everything a question omg] Janis: [😏 'only heard her so I ain't making any bets with you, tah'] Jimmy: [😏 'spoilsport'] Janis: ['cheat' tuts like honestly] Jimmy: ['don't be throwing words like that about out loud, tah'] Janis: [looks around dramatically 's'fine, don't reckon they're tailing us'] Jimmy: [takes her hand again and like swings it how you do to a kid while he also looks around dramatically] Janis: ['left your brother at home, mate' but not pulling away or stopping him ok] Jimmy: [when you'd normally have some #bants about that but you're tired too so you're just walking and handholding nbd] Janis: [a nice lil moment] Jimmy: [I feel like the pub ain't that far from his house so may as well enjoy that while it lasts kids] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [getting back and not knowing if your dad is home or not #joys (we know he isn't but Jimmy don't have that luxury) so you immediately get tense af] Janis: [awkward, get you up in the room girl] Jimmy: [when you have to go check your siblings and tell them you're back cos you all have separation anxiety but lowkey so your fake girlfriend don't think you're weird] Jimmy: need owt? Janis: nah, I'm good Janis: thanks Jimmy: [bringing her water anyway cos you don't want the night to be over yet in case she's gone in the AM #blatant] Janis: [just smiling like 'I'll give you 5 stars'] Jimmy: ['hang on, it ain't vodka, like'] Janis: ['lucky I don't throw it in your face then' 🙄😏] Jimmy: ['least I'd impress you by catching it in my mouth if it were'] Janis: ['right little optimist, you'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what other tricks you got then, boy?'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'Don't have a dog to perform myself'] Janis: [yawns half shade/half actual] Jimmy: [when you're just leaving like okay then] Janis: ['oi'] Jimmy: [when you've basically got a hand on the door to go but you still turn around because of course you do] Janis: ['...night then' like that weren't all bitch we all know it] Jimmy: [You gonna be cold? It's april boy I doubt it but he's taking off his hoodie or jumper or whatever soft thing he's got on and putting it on her because just he just wants touch her without making that obvious but also CARES bitch] Janis: [nods all the same 'tuck us in then'] Jimmy: [does obvs, picking her up and carrying her there first if he needs to because idk if she's stood up like him by this door or wut] Janis: [allowing it 'cos I wanna] Jimmy: [when you open your mouth to say about 40000 things but you can't so you just close it again like nothing to see] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos same boy, same] Jimmy: ['I were just wondering if I should take your breakfast order but depends if I pull another sickie or bother to go in' boy you were not such a lie but that is a good question of what to do with tomorrow I'll give you that] Janis: ['make a thing of it and they might send you a fruit basket, or a search party, risk you could take, like' shrugs] Jimmy: ['if the search party's headed up by my best customers that's a massive risk, management not as much' shrugs back and once again attempts his exit] Janis: [turning over like okay night 'smoothie was good' re. if he does go in] Jimmy: [stopping like this is a mansion instead of a box room 'we can make a thing of it either way, if you want'] Janis: ['that'll be alright, yeah' when you're saying that into your pillow like hope you can hear] Jimmy: [when you nod but she can't see you] Janis: [let him go hoe] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he does but do a little time skip to later because he can't sleep obvs and I have no chill] Jimmy: Hey Janis: what's up? Janis: beside you Jimmy: you an' all Jimmy: why ain't you asleep? Janis: sleeps for the weak, like Jimmy: gimme my bed back then Janis: I said you could have it from the off Jimmy: Go to sleep, dickhead Janis: why Jimmy: 😴💤 Janis: I know you didn't start a convo just to see if I was asleep or nah Jimmy: might've done Janis: could've popped your head 'round the door Janis: or made a shit joke about snoring keeping you up Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: 🐕 snores louder than anyone and she's in here anyway Janis: cosy Jimmy: I'll chuck her in with you if you're 💔 Jimmy: and awake Janis: if you like Janis: thought you were coming to get your bed anyway Jimmy: Got your name on it tonight, mate Janis: come on, I don't need it Janis: I'll crash on your sofa 'til it's light Janis: gone before any of 'em wake up, easy Jimmy: I don't need it either Jimmy: but if I have to tie owt round the door to keep you in, challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: really Jimmy: I mean, 🤞 I tucked you in and you'll stay in, but alright Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: cute Janis: say you underestimate me but it's that optimism, yeah? Jimmy: I know how much you love it, babe Janis: hmm we'll be nice and say it's refreshing Jimmy: be nice and stay put instead of me having to rig a trip wire or some bollocks Janis: alright, alright Janis: no need to go home alone Janis: how long are you keeping me captive though Janis: things to do Jimmy: least if we were I might be able to sleep Jimmy: comes to something when you're the least annoying person I've shared a bed with Jimmy: let you out when it goes from #goals to #weird Janis: charming Janis: is he asleep or Jimmy: 👑 me Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be me tomorrow if I go work Janis: well, if you let me go Janis: can rock up at opening time and tell them how sick you still are Jimmy: if I let you go, won't see you for dust Jimmy: such an athlete, like Janis: well yeah, I will go to the gym after Janis: just hoping it's the fit one opening obvs Jimmy: get your own fit colleagues, I 😍 him first Janis: 💔 I'm faster Jimmy: that'll be why I were 🥇 in a race against you Janis: 1. you cheat Janis: 2. sure he will if you beg hard enough, don't cry Jimmy: 1. shut up I can't hear the 🎻 over you being a massive 😭 loser Jimmy: 2. piss off Janis: oh please, your one good lung would collapse before you could even eat my dust in an actual race Jimmy: long as it holds out for me to go have a 🚬 Janis: 🙄 Janis: yay or nay to the actual plan though, idiot Jimmy: Well on board for a race to my 💀💀💀 death obvs 🎊 Janis: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU OR NO Jimmy: You can calm down, your boyfriend ain't opening up, no need to shout Jimmy: nowt in it for you either Janis: not an answer Jimmy: I don't have a smoothie maker here and I ain't cashing in an IOU on that bollocks Jimmy: there you go Janis: don't need one that bad Janis: but alright Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: not out here, it's freezing Jimmy: 🤞 when I get back in Janis: all that talk of 🚬 got you excited Jimmy: keep that 💕 between us though Janis: everyone's seen you Janis: clearly your 😎 appeal is so great, they'll deal with the bad breath Jimmy: but if they ask you're my 🥇 Janis: not forgot what we're doing here Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you move here Jimmy: Why are you asking me? Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: why not Janis: reasonable question Jimmy: reasonable that you've said you don't need or wanna know owt about me an' all Jimmy: What's changed? Janis: got time to kill, ain't we Jimmy: and that's what you wanna do with it? Janis: not my first choice Jimmy: do whatever is then Janis: just don't answer Jimmy: 🙀 is you, Judith Janis: then Janis: ? Janis: hardly a probing question, calm down Jimmy: he got a job here, I didn't fancy being homeless so I came with Jimmy: alright? Janis: why wouldn't it be Jimmy: I dunno the answer you want Janis: erm, the one that's real Janis: not asking for a bedtime story here Jimmy: force of habit Jimmy: our kid has to have 6 Janis: one for every year Janis: classic Janis: gets a bit out of hand when 10 of you try it though so Jimmy: thank fuck Ian ain't that fertile then Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: it's fucking grim Jimmy: 💔 my face fits Jimmy: can't say I ain't his Jimmy: can't knock yours that hard if most of your lot looks like you do Janis: diversitys lacking but he ain't the only black man about Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: yeah but 10 kids looking like that would get you all the 👶🏆 regardless Jimmy: well 9 'cause there's Grace Janis: shut up 🙄 Janis: beautiful baby competitions aren't that lucrative Jimmy: sure my ex is 💔💔💔 Janis: cute then? Janis: that's something Janis: most babies are ugly Jimmy: nah she'd have to rig it Jimmy: cheating comes natural though Janis: ouch Jimmy: 🤷 Jimmy: there's your bedtime story Janis: not meant to be sad Janis: no wonder he's after 6 Janis: happily ever after, dickhead Jimmy: I ain't still with her 💍👶👰 so it were Jimmy: and far as he knows we're 💕 Janis: well I won't get pregnant to end this so Janis: still coming off favourably Jimmy: Ian will be chuffed Jimmy: and what greater seal of approval is there? Janis: idk Janis: starting to question his existense tbh Janis: 😎 runs in the genes too, yeah Jimmy: 👻 does Janis: same Janis: definitely not related Jimmy: don't worry I ain't gonna come round yours with a white sheet thrown on Jimmy: bit controversial Jimmy: stick to the burning ✞ Janis: come on Janis: be a laugh Janis: call it performance art Jimmy: til I get lynched myself Jimmy: proper outnumbered Janis: nah Janis: they're all pussies Janis: nothing like me, I told you Jimmy: you don't know I ain't Jimmy: never seen me fight Janis: protect you, go on Jimmy: lend us your lighter and I'll think about it Jimmy: mine's 💀👻 Janis: trace the burning ✞ back to me and all Janis: no idiot Janis: but whatever, one sec Jimmy: chuck it out the window, Juliet Jimmy: no need to run Janis: may as well have one myself Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon I can catch it Janis: I know you can't Janis: also know you won't give it back Jimmy: I'll give it you back tomorrow Janis: fucking hell, if you don't wanna even sit with me, I'll go out front, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: can't do tricks out front Janis: [comes out in his hoodie obvs 'cos you said it was freezing but we know she ain't taken it off, like] Jimmy: [is visibly cold af cos been out here ages and gave her his clothes] Janis: ['you idiot' coming at him with said hoodie] Jimmy: [is so much no because bitch you're keeping that] Janis: [🙄 like come here then and wrapping it round them both] Jimmy: [letting that happen because we all wanna] Janis: [rubbing his arms to warmth them 'can get the duvet if you want'] Jimmy: ['be going back in in a bit, it's alright'] Janis: [nods but pulls it tighter/him closer] Jimmy: [again letting that happen shamelessly lol] Janis: [they'd be like so face to face rn it'd be ridiculous 'cos same height, the only way you're avoiding that tension is if you put your head on his shoulder and that's not intimate at all nah] Jimmy: [when you're just playing with her hair like it's in your way and you gotta stop it from harassing you but 👀 you really boy] Janis: [scary grace impression 'don't mess up my hair!'] Jimmy: [lols 'don't do that, it's proper accurate'] Janis: [😏 'spent an unfortunate amount of time with her, least she can give me is a decent impression'] Jimmy: ['I don't want her here or the PTSD tah'] Janis: ['yeah, yeah, you want the lighter I ain't forgot' but not giving it him 'cos vital he be warmthed first obvs] Jimmy: ['I do but-' not finishing that sentence because #danger] Janis: [no escaping how hard she can look at you from this distance though] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna wake him up and the fucking dog will longer I leave going back in, so don't fight me on the floor thing when we do, alright?'] Janis: ['course', I'm not as arsehole' pauses 'I just don't see why you won't take the bed and I'll go on the sofa-' when you say this last bit faster than the rest '-or just share with me it's not like we haven't before'] Jimmy: [nods and tries not to breathe too much 'Really committed to warming me back up, you. Fine then.'] Janis: ['something like that' hands him the lighter] Jimmy: [we know the drill here, ladies first lol] Janis: [when you should really separate to smoke but you just turn so he's behind you 🥄🚬 moment ] Jimmy: [take your chance to shamelessly stare at her boy] Jimmy: [and he should blatantly take a pic because imagine how beautiful she'd look rn and the lighting would be so interesting] Janis: [do it for your 🎨 and 😍 boy] Jimmy: [honestly and it'll stop you saying or doing anything else that you shouldn't] Janis: ['do you reckon I could do it properly..model, like?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah' OMG he answered a question] Janis: [when she's surprised he don't shade her like oh but does best to hide that 'my sister is. Good way out, since I'm not getting deported'] Jimmy: ['I'll look forward to seeing your face on a billboard or whatever and saying I didn't know you' because don't you just hate when peeps pretend to be your bestie when you die/are famous, yep me and Jimmy too] Janis: ['tah, glad it meant so much to ya, mate'] Jimmy: ['It obvs meant everything to me, that's why I've gotta repress all those perfect memories, babe. Tah for that.'] Janis: [turns and 😘 with some smoke coming with] Jimmy: ['see, can't do better than you'] Janis: ['I know, I feel really bad for you, actually. Tragedy.'] Jimmy: [does the violin mime 'get in line, girl, let you jump it a bit 'cause I like you'] Janis: ['yeah?'] Jimmy: [😘 back at her because getting too real there] Janis: [catches it and turns back] Jimmy: [🚬 in silence for a bit because close call] Janis: 'what's your mate called, then?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like he has no idea who she means] Janis: ['Barista boy'] Jimmy: ['He ain't my mate then, is he'] Janis: ['Your mans, I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [nudges back like tell me then] Jimmy: ['Do your own homework, it's the holidays'] Janis: ['such a cockblock, you'] Jimmy: [😒 but trying not to let it show and doing the 💔 with his hands so she'll look there instead] Janis: ['yeah right' and pushing his hands down] Jimmy: [usual Oi and scuffle moment as standard] Janis: [just playfighting always] Jimmy: [when you're just like come on because can't stay out here forever] Janis: ['you finally done?'] Jimmy: [CLEARLY still in his jealousy and thinking about her fucking Pete so walking away] Janis: [just like um excuse me but going too 'cos not gonna stay outside to be awkward] Jimmy: [getting ready for bed moodily lol lol lol] Janis: [when you don't even know what's changed the vibe but what you gonna say, just taking the hoodie and whatever you put on your bottom off] Jimmy: [deliberately not looking at her cos you're in a sulk and can't trust yourself not to say something] Janis: [this won't be awkward at all, lads, time to cram into this bed like there's any option but to snuggle] Jimmy: [who is big 🥄 and who's little?] Janis: [if she's little he can be 'mad' about her hair in his face] Jimmy: [true just #fuming] Janis: ['night'] Jimmy: [when you don't say it back, we know you ain't asleep yet boy] Janis: ['dick'] Jimmy: [a very unamused sound in response like it's her fault you're a jealous dickhead okay then] Janis: [turning 'round in this bed which is treacherous tbh and poking him like what is your problem] Jimmy: [shaking his head because literally what can he say and don't even start me on the position of them both in this tiny bed] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [when she looks so CUTE that it changes your face to 😏 to hide your genuine 😍😊] Janis: ['I'd push you if I wouldn't fall too, and your brother wasn't asleep, lucky' pokes him in the chest again for emphasis on the lucky] Jimmy: ['Nah, you're well anti me being on the floor, said it loads'] Janis: ['plans change, it happens'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'ain't like it'd be the first bruise I'd had off you, least this one'd be real'] Janis: ['can be arranged] Jimmy: ['go on'] Janis: ['later'] Jimmy: ['You ain't gotta be scared or owt, do it'] Janis: ['you're too loud'] Jimmy: [does a 🤐 gesture] Janis: [just LOOKing like are we on the same page I don't think so] Jimmy: [giving her such a look back, kill me tbh] Janis: [we all know she's gonna lovebite him, like] Jimmy: [forever letting shit happen because I want to] Janis: [going hard like the time you nearly took my nip off 'cos challenged and the levels of frustration] Jimmy: [and has anyone ever bit their own lip as hard as he'd have to in this moment jfc because likewise challenged not to be a loud bitch but we know he is and wants to be] Janis: [just keeps looking up to see that struggle like 😏 but also going back in more times than is necessary like] Jimmy: [holding onto her hair not in a soft way because damn people have died struggling less than he is rn] Janis: [the struggle is shared lbr, pulling away, SOMEHOW, 'satisfied?' 😏 you know damn well neither of you are] Jimmy: [just gesturing to his closed mouth with a shrug like I'm not allowed to talk so and we all know he'd need more than a minute if he was gonna] Janis: [just, ( and not very gently), touching all the bruises she just did like 🤔 hmm] Jimmy: [dying but not stopping her because this is all so NBD of course yep] Janis: [shaking her head 'don't worry, did 'em where no one will see, can't let work know how much fun you were having in your sick bed, like'] Jimmy: I reckon the manager's a fan Jimmy: seen him scrolling Janis: well, don't let him take advantage of you, like Janis: more dubious than 🤤 Jimmy: don't do work romances me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: sure that's how my dad reckons all his feel Jimmy: probably more celebratory in reality though Jimmy: based on what they wrote in his 'glad you're fucking off' cards Janis: I get you Janis: watch out for Ian from accounts vibes Janis: not #goals Jimmy: he ain't, soz to piss on your 💍 goals Janis: oh well Janis: think of something, like Jimmy: 🏆🧠 you, like Janis: Obviously Janis: he ain't gonna be pissed off at you that I'm here, is he Janis: probably doesn't know, like Janis: can use my ninja skills Jimmy: he'd have to come home to find out Jimmy: fuck all chance of that Janis: didn't know if he had Janis: his office wifey(s), I guess? Jimmy: Why would he? I'm here, means he don't have to be Janis: yeah, who wants to spend time with their offspring Jimmy: let you know when I meet someone who does Janis: s'shit Janis: why bother reproducing Jimmy: we were all accidents, he just put his name to us Janis: I guess Janis: once is an accident, three times getting dangerously close to a habit Jimmy: full of bad habits him Janis: and not even 😎 with it Janis: actually tragic Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: oh well Janis: won't sleep with my shoes on, then Jimmy: not if you're gonna kick me Jimmy: alright for injuries, tah Janis: shut up, you wanted them Jimmy: You planning to get into the habit of giving me what I want? Janis: depends Jimmy: don't it always Janis: you tell me Jimmy: Tell you what, that it's a bad idea to go with a worse habit? Janis: worse than what Jimmy: owt I've got Jimmy: so don't do nowt for me Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't flatter yourself Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: I were flattering you Janis: sure you were Janis: you ain't more deadly than 🚬 😎boy, calm down Jimmy: you can do better, I've already said, don't have to sound like a 🚭 campaign about it, mate but if that's what gets through your 👂 to that 🧠 Janis: oh please Jimmy: begging ain't a mind changer but crack on Janis: I ain't begging no one but don't patronize me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [turns and gets as much space between as is physically possible] Jimmy: [finally says 'night' to her] Jimmy: [breaking that silence for it lol] Janis: [makes a similar noise of disgust] Jimmy: [then he's just moving and fussing for an age, soz about it] Janis: [doing a big sigh and getting up and out] Jimmy: ['hang on' before you can stop yourself or she can go] Janis: [looks back like what] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he did at the party when he dragged her away from Harry and was like DON'T] Janis: [when you can't just get back in 'cos you'll look stupid but you do change your plan 'where's your loo?'] Jimmy: [he tells her because idk the layout as usual] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: [just having a sad soft boy moment hoping she'll brb] Janis: [does and silently gets back in] Jimmy: [swap 🥄s kids, when you actually breathe a sigh of relief though that your bae is back #same] Janis: [should probably let them go to sleep lol] Jimmy: [just gotta have him whisper that he's sorry when he reckons she is but yeah sleep and snuggle guys]

[dramayeoja]

Goblin ❣︎ 도깨비

Kim Shin, an undefeated war general, is ultimately killed by a jealous young king named Wang Yeo. After death, Shin is revived by the gods—but his revival is by no means miraculous. He becomes a 도깨비 (dokkaebi, goblin), and is cursed. He will have to pay for all the lives he took in battle by living alone in immortality, witnessing everyone he's ever loved, die. Remaining lodged in his chest is the very sword that killed him. There is only person who can see that sword, and draw from his heart so that he can finally rest in peace: his bride... whom he's yet to meet.

Things get spoilery under the cut—you've been warned! ;)

Chipper, yeah? Haha so, right off the bat, the premises of Goblin remind me of like, a much more morbid version of the legend of King Arthur. You know, a man draws a sword from stone to prove himself the greatest king in all of Britain? Yeah. Just to be clear: this is a good thing (imo). Like, I personally think this is just such a cool idea for a drama 😍

Let's jump right in. I'm gonna be honest and say that, at first, I felt a little turned off at the female lead, Eun Tak, being nineteen (in the beginning of the show), meanwhile the male lead, Shin, is 900+ years old (but physically looks to be in his thirties). It just... rubbed me weird. But hey, the Twilight series (both the books and the movies) is exactly the same—high school girl, century-old man, bananas yet somehow romantic storyline... And I loved me some Twilight as a young adult. So I mean, I have no right to judge, really. Plus, Eun Tak soon turns twenty anyway. So that's an improvement I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ We follow her character into her late twenties, nearly thirty. So things are definitely fine by then haha! 👍

Don't let that previous bit make you think I didn't enjoy Goblin—I LOVED it. That detail is just a lil funky to me, is all. Back during my Twilight obsession days, I was nearly twenty myself, and the thought of being pursued by an older man was exciting. Hell, I mean, it still is! But now that I'm two years shy of my 30th Birthday, I feel differently sometimes. I think, LAWD get that girl away from that man, she too young for him LOL. I am definitely getting old... Enough about Twilight now, apologies! I'm only using it for the sake of conveying similarities seen in Goblin 🙏 Let's talk cast!

Kim Go Eun as Ji Eun Tak and Gong Yoo as Kim Shin

Eun Tak is a bubbly young woman with limitless energy! While still in her mother's womb, Mama Ji was involved in a hit-and-run incident which, sadly, took her life. During Mama Ji's dying moments, she prayed to anyone above that her child's life be spared. Sat on a rooftop from afar, beer in hand (lol), Shin hears her prayers, as he is a god of sorts. He appears before Mama Ji, and shows mercy to her unborn baby. Eun Tak grows up with the ability to see/speak to ghosts. Said ghosts tell her constantly that she is the goblin's bride. How do they know? A strange birthmark on the back of Eun Tak's neck tips them off. Eun Tak unfortunately was taken in by her abusive bitch of an aunt, who jabs Eun Tak every chance she gets. Her cousins are assholes. Eun Tak's aunt really only keeps her around in hopes of collecting Mama Ji's savings (intended for Eun Tak) one day. Sad, right? I mean, isn't Eun Tak being born without her mother enough as it is? Life can be so cruel 😔

Lee Dong Wook as Grim Reaper/Reaper/Wang Yeo

This is Grim Reaper (or Reaper for short), portrayed by the handsome Lee Dong Wook. His character is just this strange, not at all tech-savvy man with a constant deadpan facial expression. Said facial expression provokes so many giggles during funny moments, and drives home the longing and desperation during sad times. We learn quite a ways in that he, in his previous life (again, just in case: spoiler), was Wang Yeo G A S P ! The young king that is essentially responsible for Shin's death, as well as all the misdeeds that were done to Shin's family. Again, this is something I don't want to spoil. Well, more, anyway 😆 You gotta see it!

Yoo In Na as Kim Sun/Sunny

Kim Sun, or simply, Sunny (she loves to spell her name for people lol, S-U-N-N-Y!) is the second female lead. Yoo In Na is so gorgeous that one look at her makes you feel like such a potato hahhah. 🥔 This fact about her beauty bleeds over into the show itself—every time another character meets Sunny, the camera does this slow motion pan into her lmao. She really is that pretty! Sunny's personality comes across so odd at first... Having watched all of the episodes now, I feel the intention of Goblin's creators was to make her seem like a soul searching for something it has lost in a previous life. idk if that makes sense, but yeah. She has this way about her, like she's disconnected from others, and is sifting through the haziness to find this thing she feels she's lost.

Yook Sungjae (my BtoB bias 😍) as Yoo Deok Hwa

Sungjaeeee ahhhh 💘💘💘 I had to gush, sorry! Hehe. Meet Deok Hwa: unofficial nephew of Shin. Deok Hwa is a third-generation chaebol (heir to a family-owned corporation) and spoiled man-child, always seeking his credit card hahaha 🤣 But I love him so much. Between Gong Yoo, Lee Dong Wook, and BtoB Sungjae? Man, I'm dying over here! Deok Hwa's true identity is revealed later in the show, which if you haven't seen it yet, I won't spoil it. Just watch. But his ending sucked. Like where did he go? Everyone else's endings got tied up neatly except for his. What gives, man? 🤔 Edit: I was actually reading an online conversation about what happened to Deok Hwa online—someone jokingly said he was reincarnated as BtoB Sungjae LOL 💯

Other various comments

AMAZING OST 😍😍😍

Good pace, episodes drag at times. A little confusing in the beginning, but you get there eventually. Maybe this is just me though, viewers who are a little more keen than I will likely catch on sooner ;) My mom was a little confused as well, and actually said at one point, "This should be called the 'what-the-hell-is-going-on' show," hahaha. Like I said though, we quickly moved on from this, and loved all the things. There are actually, I think, three (?) specials that were made to aid viewers in making sure they understand the complex events and relationships clearly. I haven't watched them yet, but want to!

Quite repetitive tbh, as there are unnecessary flashbacks often. Probably for two reasons: the obvious of reminding you what's what, but also to create suspense. Typical duration of most tvN dramas seems to be about 16 episodes, so it's possible these flashbacks and things are, for lack of a better word, filler. I don't know how rigid or lax tvN is about having a drama set at 16 eps, but I get the idea this is their preference. Seeing as so many of their programs on average last that long, I feel this must be what they want. Such has the potential to affect the writing, either positively or negatively.

A continuation of the previous bullet: I think Goblin's creators oversimplified the plot at times. I'm unsure if this is due to possible pressures to meet a specific requirement(s), or what. I'd rather forgo ALL restrictions and let creativity flow, let the story be told without pressure to fill a specific amount of time, etc. but TV production is weird. And contracts are weird. tvN might not to blame for these issues, could simply be that storytelling isn't always easy, man. I'm a writer myself, it's hard! I'M being redundant now lmfao! Anyway, yeah ~

Absolutely LOVED all the scenes that were filmed on location in beautiful Québec City, Canada 🍁 Tall, romantic trees, the fall foliage, historic buildings... sigh. Now all I need is Gong Yoo chasing me and we're all set! ;D

In addition to Shin being revived, my crush on Gong Yoo has been revived as well LOL. He fine 🔥 A classic K drama crush, can't go wrong with GY👌

Gong Yoo is always stellar at doing kiseu (kiss) scenes, and in Goblin, he does not disappoint. He really goes at it 🙈 which is preferred vs. the typical person kissing a stone statue that you see so often. He even did a lift kiss with Kim Go Eun that was reminiscent of THEE Coffee Prince kiss he did with actress Yoon Eun Hye! 😍

I never saw it coming, how the sword would wind up being removed from Shin's chest. I worried what the writers were going to do, how would they approach this, and just wow. The way things turned out is such a relief. It also told me that Shin's love for Eun Tak is true. I mean, I didn't need that scene to occur for me to know that, rather it just adds extra oomph that yes, Shin really does love Eun Tak. He didn't want her to suffer knowing she was responsible for his "death," so he thought quick and used her hands WITH his hands asdfghjkl. How dumb (bc noooo now you're gonna die) and amazing he is at the same time 💜

I love how Shin made his way back to Eun Tak after passing away, it was such a powerful scene. I could really feel his struggle, and kept yelling at my TV for him to stand up lol!

Devastated that Eun Tak died 😭 I really thought as many times as she'd cheated death before, she would somehow continue cheating death again and again for the rest of her days. But no... What a selfless person, Ji Eun Tak. Her being reincarnated as Park So Min gave me some closure. Not the closure I wanted, but closure.

The relationship between Shin and Reaper is ADORABLE. Whenever they interact with each other, they just have this great dialogue. Shin pings, Reaper pongs, Reaper pings, Shin pongs. It's great 😄 I still laugh about the slow-mo scene of them returning from the market with green onions HAHAHA 😂

I love Sunny & Reaper ~ However, their history as Kim Sun & Wang Yeo in their past lives is so very sad. I don't even know where to start RE: my feelings on this 💔 imo, their ending kinda sucked. I just wasn't satisfied with them having had this complicated, tragic story, only to be reincarnated in this fashion that I ultimately found to be just... idk, disappointing 😩 Again, closure, but not the closure I wanted.

I thought Reaper, the other grim reapers, the name cards, the depiction of what happens immediately following death with the brewing of the tea, the afterlife, etc. was all very creative. We really don't know what awaits us when our time comes—it's interesting to wonder if it's anything like it is in Goblin 🍵

Can't stop thinking about Goblin, even though I'm now watching Thirty but Seventeen & Mr. Sunshine! I'm emotionally cheating lol halp.

Photo credits: tvN & AsianWiki

Yo yo! I'm sorry I took so long to watch + write up this review! It's been a long couple of weeks for me, I wasn't always able to watch when I wanted. It was maddening 😆 But I have finally watched, and feel like the most accomplished person on the planet hahaha. xoxo 💜

[pilotheather]

hii ok

n- i slept all day today and woke up fucked up as hell. so i missed it while it was live BUT i havent seen anything and i got a good feeling abt this ep honestly like

- prelim thoughts and stuff: i seriously do wish the weeping angels were left alone. a lot of ppl have been like "erhghh its been 8 years since the last ep-" yeah and hot take! all the weeping angel eps past Blink SUCKED <3 LOLLLLL<3 like i think they only rlly work when you do em properly and bringing them back really . makes them ineffective as hell. i dont even think they should rlly be in cameos like- it just..... feels off to me.

- that being said im giving this a chance bc i do think its going back to its roots and i think from the previews this could rlly work. esp if the writer who wrote the haunting of villa diodati is doing it, yah? yah she was rlly good anyways

- (also aside im eating dinner and wtf its so weird bc im like... eating just vegetables you know..... isnt that so strange. eveyrthing im eating is a vegetables. absurd)

- omg...

- (sees wings framing the subject) the cinnamon topology

- wait uhm. perhaps nevermund

- dare i also say btw. fucking ahrhghrod what was i gon- OH YESH. i wonder how much this is going to feed into the actual plot. ep 2 was pretty removed, and i saw some ppl saying maybe these alternate eps (ep 6 notwithstanding) are gonna be more asides but hmmm.....

- bc the weeping angels are also more timey wimey you know

-speak OF the devil theres bel

- fuck out my way when u see me

im rolling with the lgbt

- gerald what is going on "i dont know gene but i dont like it :/" BITCH IS THAT UYOUR [0GPSDGJSDGPDS ME .

- can i also say. so yeah the angels, like, have their hands over their eyes so they dont see each other mmhm? but then like...every so often they'll take them away- like you always see one or two without its hands on its eyes. do u think theyre coordinated besties. i think i'd be the little nuisance angel bc i dont have very good rhythm and i'd accidentally take a peep whilst my angel bestie was and i'd be like EEEK and keep us frozen for like. forever or until someeone intervenes, help

- i assume that missus that told the vicar to count the stones is peggy yes?

- also hmmmmmm i was abt to say somethign hat was i abt to say oh well lols

- OH YEAH. you know that whole the image of an angel thing bcomes an angel. like i find that kinda scary but also idk it doesnt feel........ like it doesnt rlly work for me. it just feels like such a strange thing to tack onto them as creatures that doesnt make so much sense with the rest of it. does that make sense. idk

- like it felt like it was just put in to like. solve plot issues when its like. they were already scary enough and i think again what MAKES them scary is their simplicity and stuff

- that being said that effect of the doctor setting fire to the paper and the angel appearing on fire was sick as fuck

- also also also it does stress me out like when they were at the tardis in the beginning and they dont coordinate their blinking do you know what i mean. like three ppl u dont have to all stare and hurt ur eyes babes u could like.... squeeze the other persons hand when ur abt to blink so u know to keep them open . or if ur gonna look away yah

- like how sally and her poor little meow meow did.

- similarly with the image of an angel thing: i think them killing the lights and stuff also . yeah sure i can get aboard it but also it feels so WEIRD when they jsut... can do shit for th e sake of it. like that ripped up drawing reforming all by itself? again that whole thing LOOKED sick and im not one to split hairs over things like this it jsut. feels strange

- AND WHATS THIS? ITS THE TIMELORD WEEPING ANGEL THEORISTS COMING IN WITH A METAL CHAIR

- OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY

[kirishwima]

Hey there cool bean! So.. I absolutely love Hance and I also absolutely love Fake Dating, Wrong Number and that "whatever you write on your skin appears on your soulmates skin" Soulmate AUs and I'd love you forever and beyond if you could write a normal life/pre-Boltron OS about one of these because that would be like the most awesome thing ever ;^;

Hey lovely!

So funny thing is, I love Hance a lot too and also really like all three ideas sooo i tried adding all of them into one fic lol ;u; hope you like it!

*****

Hunk stared at the text, his phone’s screen blearing and blurring his vision with its brightness.

To say he was…confused, would be an understatement.

He looked to the message once more, giving it another quick read.

From: Unknown

>Dude hi, look, i knw we ain’t that close or anythin but i rly rly RLY need u to call me and pretend ur my bf rn

Hunk sighed and scrolled down, reading the next chain of messages.

From: Unknown

>this creepy dude is hittin on me and idk how to tell him to back off so cmon pls call me n pretend ur my bf u don’t even have to talk or anythin

From: Unkown

>im gonna owe u like 100000 coffees cMON

It was a do-or-die moment, Hunk knew that.

He knew that the best option would be to ignore this messages-they were obviously not intended for him in the first place.

On the other hand…the person did seem really stressed out. Hunk knew if he was in the situation this person was in, he’d more than likely do the same thing, his fingers shooting a text to his best friend Pidge faster than you could say ‘burrito’.

It was a do-or-die moment.And Hunk decided to go for it full force, before the little anxious thoughts tugging on his skin pulled his barely existent bravado away from his grip.

He clicked on the unknown number and let his phone ring, shakily bringing it close to his ear.

The first beep went by unanswered, Hunk’s anxiety only heightening at the sound.The second beep followed, yet before a third one could be heard, the person on the other line picked up.

“Hello?”

The voice was sweet, a light pitch of anxiety clouding over it, yet even with the added stress and the distress of the phone, it was still one of the nicest sound Hunk’s ears had ever heard.

“U-uh, yes?”

Hunk mentally slapped himself, shutting his eyes and shaking his head.Nice going Hunk, he chided himself, way to show you’re intimidated by a person you haven’t even seen before

“Awe babe!” the voice cooed, the words of affection making goosebumps run over Hunk’s body, “you changed your phone number after all? I told you it was about time to!” the person continued, the sounds of background music and chatter now registering in Hunk’s mind.

“I-uh-yeah. Phone number. That’s right.” he stumbled, somewhat astounded at how easily this play of affection rolled through this person’s mouth.

“Well I’m glad you called me. I was just at your favourite coffee shop and wanted to ask you what coffee you wanted me to bring over! I didn’t see you at all today, I missed you.”

Hunk run a hand through his mark absent-mindedly, enjoying the soft voice over the line.

“A coffee would be great, yeah.” he mumbled, slowly feeling more at ease.He wondered if this person had him on loud speaker, or if his own little show of fake-dating this person was more unnecessary than helpful.

“What? You want me to go over straight away? Are you sure?”

A-ha.

Hunk huffed a laugh, quickly realising that the only person that could hear him right now was this guy he was talking to.

“Alright, alright, I’m on my way! Love you, see you in a bit!”

He heard the person mutter something, another somewhat gruffer voice answering back to him, quickly followed by shuffling, the sounds of the coffee shop promptly disappearing.

“…are you still there?” the voice asked, the tone much quieter than before.

The high pitch and sweetness was a show, after all.

“Yup.” Hunk replied, a profound comfort washing over him, all his previous stress diminished.He slumped onto his bed with relief and sighed, waiting to hear an explanation from this unknown person.

“I’ll just go ahead and assume you’re not Steve, are you?”

He laughed at that, shaking his head despite knowing the person he was speaking to couldn’t see him.

“Afraid not. And I guess you didn’t actually mean to text me did you?”

The voice laughed, the sound like water from a creek, crystal clear and joyous to Hunk’s ears.

“No, no, definitely not.” he laughed, “Still, thanks for helping me out. There was this dude that wouldn’t take no for an answer. He only backed away when he thought I was talking to my boyfriend or, whatever.”

“Yeah dude, I hear you, this kind of people are the worst” Hunk grumbled, scrunching his nose in distaste, “Why can’t they just respect another person’s boundaries and get that ‘no’ means ‘no’?!”

The person on the phone hummed in agreement.

“Thank you, that’s exactly what I was thinking!”  he huffed, “it’s so easy and yet some people are just..ugh” he groaned in defeat.

Hunk laughed, letting a short silence stretch that really wasn’t as uncomfortable as Hunk thought it should be.

“I never got your name by the way.” the voice spoke up, a shyer tone in their sound, “I’m Lance, Lance Sanchez.”

He let the name roll through his mind for a moment, trying to think if he’d ever heard it before. He was certain he never did, but there was something about it, about this person’s voice, their mannerism, that made Hunk feel a familiar tinge in his chest, as if something in his heart was tugging it’s way to his brain, smacking it and saying ’of course you know it, silly!’

“Hello?”

Hunk shook himself out of his trance.

“Yeah hi! Sorry, sorry, just tryin’ to figure out if I know you from somewhere. I’m Hunk Garett.”

The voice-Lance, Lance huffed, the sound making white noise travel through Hunk’s speaker.

“Man, I thought you were going to hung up on me or something. Which I’d totally get, but you know, putting a name to my life-saver would be nice-“

“Life-saver? I hardly did anything!” Hunk interrupted, his face reddening at the characterisation. Here he was, talking to thus guy with this soothing voice, that was calling him a life-saver?

“Yes life-saver, don’t be humble, and anyway, as I was saying, putting a name to the voice would be nice, but you know what would be better?”

“W-what?”

“Taking said life-saver with his honey-sweet voice out for a coffee. You know, as a thank-you for getting me away from a creepy flirt even though you had zero obligation to?”

The words died in Hunk’s mouth, his eyes widening at face heating up.

Coffee? Honey-sweet?

Was…was this guy asking him out on a date?!

“I-no-there’s no need-“

“Aw come on, I did promise you a bunch of coffees in the text. Well, I thought I was promising Steve coffees, until I realised I’d saved his phone number wrongly in the first place, but anyway! The offer stands if you want it!” Lance cheered, the sounds of a bustling street failing to dull his loud voice.

Hunk mulled over the idea, feeling like a fish far, far, far out of it’s waters. So far it could just as well be a fish that boarded a plane and landed onto the Sahara desert.

“Look”, Lance continued, his voice more sullen than before, “it’s totally cool if you don’t want to, and I’m sorry if I over-stepped my bounds. Hell, I just escaped a creepy guy, I don’t wanna sound anything like him myself. All I’m saying is, I owe you one, and if you want to, I’ll be more than happy to repay you.”

“You can even hit me up on social media if you want. I’m pretty much everywhere with my full name, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, you name it. Or you can just hung up and we never speak again, that is totally cool too, and uh, thanks again for helping me out-“

Lance started rumbling, and something in Hunk just lit up, a small bold voice flexing and yelling at him to just do it, completely trampling the shyer, more worrisome voices nibbling at his mind.

“I’ll add you on Facebook. Or snapchat or something and we can uh, see and decide. I mean, are we even in the same city? Or the same country?! You could be in the other side of the world for all we know!” Hunk mused, suddenly realising all the ways this could go wrong. Even his little just do it voice had no come-back to that.

“I mean, your phone number’s nearly the same as my friend Steve’s, and it’s a local phone number so…probably not?”

Hunk stilled.Oh. Right.

They both laughed, slowly understanding how obscure the situation they found themselves in was.

“Alright. I’ll add you on facebook. I’ll talk to you there?”

Lance hummed, his smirk evident even through a phone conversation.

“Sure thing”, he smiled, and continued, “Nice to meet you, Hunk.”

His voice calling Hunk’s name felt more surreal than any conspiracy theory Pidge had ever brought his way.

“I-Nice to meet you too Lance.”

Hunk was hooked.This was a do-or-die moment, and he was pretty sure he just broke the do-or-die system.

*****

Lance’s squeal was loud enough to wake up his flatmate, if the knock on his door along with Keith’s rumble of ‘cut it out Sanchez’ was enough of an indication.

But he didn’t care, not right then and there.

He held his phone in his hand since the moment he clicked the hung up button after his conversation with Hunk, holding it tightly like prayer beads, as if that would make his wishes come true.

He waited for this blessed notification for over an hour, a cruel, agonising, torturous hour, and no, he was not being dramatic, or extra as his friends liked to call him, he was being dead-ass serious.

The moment Hunk uttered one single word to him, he felt the heat rise to his face, his heart thudding and threatening to jump out of his ribcage and run around the city to find the cause for it’s irregular beating.

His voice was like honey and cinnamon and spice and everything nice, dammit, Lance was no poet, but the way this boy talked and the way he laughed did things to his brain, things he was certain brains were not supposed to do, like agonise for an hour wether or not a stranger he knew for a total of five minutes would add him on any of his social media or not.

So when his phone beeped with a Facebook notification that spelled out ‘Hunk Garett has sent you a Friend Request’, Lance was not ashamed to admit he screamed louder than he did that one time he saw Justin Timberlake walking down the street.

With shaky hands, he unlocked his phone and clicked on the notification, the screen immediately loading Hunk’s Facebook Profile.

What awaited him was….it was too good to be true, that’s for sure.

The profile greeted him with a picture of the most beautiful boy in existence, a close up of his face, dark chocolate skin and amber eyes, and the sweetest, softest smile one could ever lay their eyes on.

His heart threatened to stop and he still had only looked at the guy’s profile picture.

He scrolled down, taking a look at his profile, which was set to public view.

Another photo awaited him, this time of the same gorgeous face, now placed in a full-body picture, that displayed Hunk sitting cross-legged in a grassy field, a big cheerful dog with golden fur and droopy ears trying to fit itself onto Hunk’s lap, the boy in question fitting his hands around the dog and hugging it, the biggest of grins on his face, enough to make his eyes squint and crinkle at the corners.

‘Did i adopt him or did he adopt me?’ the photo’s caption said, and Lance wasted no time in his next course of action.

He promptly got off of his bed, where he was squealing and agonising in for the past hour, and headed out to the living room, where Keith sat with a bowl of cereal in his lap, a weird alien documentary playing on the TV.

Lance sat by him and placed the phone in front of Keith’s face.

“Mothboy, what do you think of this guy?” he asked, making Keith squint and turn his attention to the phone in front of him.

Keith studied the picture as he took another spoonful of his cereal, humming before swallowing and turning to Lance.

“I don’t even know him and I’d willingly let him hug me to death.” he deadpanned.

“I know right?!” Lance screeched, and before he could re-think it, scrolled up on Hunk’s profile and clicked ‘accept’ on his friend request.

He had never been more thankful to his clumsy fingers for typing a wrong number more than he was in that very second.

*****The familiar ring of his phone made him shake his head and look away from the books in front of him, earning himself a glare from the tiny girl sitting across of him, although it was a short-lived one-her glare turned to a smirk in less than a nano-second.

“Is that the Snapchat notification sound I hear?” she smirked, raising an eyebrow and leaning closer to her friend.

“You got freakin’ bat ears Pidge, let me tell you”, Hunk grimaced, backing away from her stare  with his phone in hand, “And even if it was, what’s it to you again?”

“Nothing?” she blinked, morphing her expression to the purest most innocent face she could conjure, “I’m merely wondering who it is that’s snap-chatting you, that’s important enough for you to stop mid-way of studying quantum physics of all things, so you could answer.”

“That puppy face stopped working like, two years ago, and no, I’m not gonna tell you who I’m talking with.”

“Please, as if I don’t know it’s that Lance guy you keep going on and on about” she huffed, rolling her eyes in distaste.

Hunk  knew better than to try and argue with her on that-Pidge had been his best friend since forever, and if it’s one thing he could never do to her, it was lie.

Besides, he couldn’t ever lie to save his life, nevertheless lie to his best friend about anything.

“Okay yeah, it’s Lance, so?” he asked, not looking up from his phone as he opened the snapchat application and waited for Lance’s snap to load.

When did the two become so close?

It was only a month since that fated phone call, and yet they were talking more and more each day, to the point that Hunk sometimes forgot they hadn’t actually physically met yet.

“Hunk, my dude, my man”, she started, pushing her glasses up with the tip of her finger, “the guy is practically your boyfriend already.”

“No he’s-“

“Must I remind you your full 20-minute freak-out session when you found his Facebook? You said, and I quote” she paused, clearing her throat and turning to Hunk with wide eyes, “His eyes are so blue and sparkly how can a man be so pretty Pidge I am going to dIE” she sing-songed, mimicking her best Hunk voice.

“I definitely did not say that, and for the thousandth time, he is not my boyfriend! He’s just a-“

He meant to continue, but the loaded snapchat caught him mid-sentence, his mouth slack and turning into a soft fond smile.

The snap was of Lance, a quick selfie with a wink and a wide grin, the tip of Lance’s nose reddened as the sun beat down of him, the glimpse of ocean blue waves behind him, neck and chest bare and peeking into the photograph.

‘Water’s great! Wish you were here too xo’ said the caption and Hunk’s soul immediately transcended to the seventh gate of heaven, if that was even a thing-which it should, because only one was just not enough to contain how blessed he felt in that moment.

“He’s just so…pretty…”

“Called it” Pidge snorted, rolling back on her chair and folding her arms over her chest.

She let Hunk have his small blissed-out moment, even let him reply to Lance with a quick selfie that showcased him and the row of books on their table, Pidge pouting at them in the background, before she coughed and nodded at Hunk.

“Do you think he’s maybe…you know.” she nodded again, pointing to Hunk’s right arm, her point of interest hidden behind his t-shirt.

He looked down to his arm too, soft smile fading as he remembered what was hidden in the inner corner of his right arm, an image hidden from the world under bulky sweaters or light t-shirts.

“Do I think he’s my…soulmate?” he dreaded that last word, the thought itself bringing up bile and anxiety into his stomach.

Pidge nodded again, her face open and hands reaching out to rest in-between their piles of books and closer to Hunk.

“The only way to find out is if you meet him you know? You’re getting along so well already.” she prompted.

“I guess.” Hunk sighed and shook his head, averting his gaze in favour of grabbing his cup of coffee and taking a sip, then fiddling with the cover of one of his books.

Damn summer reading and extra work-load. He’d much rather be at the beach right now, enjoying his college years with a certain blue-eyed someone-

Okay. Wrong train of thought. Very, very, very wrong train of thought.

It wasn’t that Hunk hadn’t thought about it.Could Lance be his soulmate?

Yes.With the way his heart fluttered and stomach clenched with each joke or silly meme Lance sent him, with each quick ‘good morning’ text and short Skype sessions, it was no wonder he grew more and more fond of the bright-eyed boy with each passing day.

Hunk was in deep and he knew it.

But what if Lance just wasn’t his soulmate?

What if they met but there was no glow in their eyes, no burning of their respective marks and swirling colours that’d make each of their marks whole again?

He absent-mindedly scratched at his arm, the thought of that bright yellow circle etched onto his skin, waiting to find the colour it’d mix and match with, that’d make the colour that’d bind him to another person for life.

He already had an idea of who he wished that person to be.

He just didn’t know if fate would agree with him.

*****From: Hunky Hunk

>Hey Lance. I’m soooo sorry but i can’t make it today ;-; Jimmy got sick and i had to take her to the vet asap. raincheck?

Lance sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before replying.

>>hey dude!! ya no problem, dont worry! hope jimmy feels better soon

The reply he got was instantaneous.

From: Hunky Hunk

>thanks man. will do. sorry again! i’ll make it up to you on your next day off :)

He smiled at the text, even though a certain disappointment gnawed at the pit of his chest.

He understood that life was hard and sometimes things just happened.

He just didn’t understand how life could work it’s way and destroy his plans five times in the same month.

The first time he asked Hunk if he wanted to meet up, was two months after they started talking, gathering up his courage and asking him out for that coffee he’d promised him.

Hunk sounded excited, but sent him a text the next day, profusely apologising because he’d forgotten to tell Lance he’d be out of town for the weekend.

Lance told him not to worry about it, they’d be able to figure out another day.

Then the next week it was his friend’s birthday, so they’d gone out to celebrate.

Then it was his workload that got Hunk slumped and unable to make it.

Then, surprisingly, it was Lance’s turn to be unavailable, his part time work friend getting sick and needing someone to fill his place for a few days, something that Lance wouldn’t ever say no to.

But this was the fifth time in a row that they tried making plans to meet up, and through he knew it was neither of their faults, it still felt like a blow to the side every time, his ego bruised and his hope battered.

He stared at the offensive blue mark on his left wrist and sighed in defeat.

Through their everyday talks with Hunk, the silly pictures and cute selfies he’d sent (that Lance had to fight off the urge to screenshot and keep by his bed every single time), to their common excitement and bonding over astronomy and flying, Lance had slowly started to get this inkling, this small hunch that maybe just maybe….

….There was perhaps a small, tiny, minuscule chance that Hunk could be his soulmate.

He tried not to get his hopes up, he really, truly did, but it became harder to do so with each sweet text and shy phone-call Hunk sent his way.The boy was sugar moulded into a human being and Lance wanted nothing more than to shove himself into a self-induced sugar coma. A Hunk coma, if you will.

He sighed, slumping onto his elbows on the kitchen table, earning a groan from Keith who was sitting across of him with his computer open and his pale skin reflecting the light off of it.

“What are you moping about?” he asked, his voice all bark but no bite. Lance learned by now that this was just his friend’s way of showing concern. “Is it about Hunk again?”

Lance’s lower lip quivered, his eyebrows scrunching.

“It’s the fifth time we’re unable to meet up Keith! The fifth time! Fate is against me and the universe hates me.”

“The universe is too busy minding its own business to hate you. And you and Hunk are practically dating anyway, stop being so sad about it.”

“But we’re not! I’m just-what if he’s not…the one, you know? What if I’m thinking things too much and he’s not even into me at all?!” Lance gasped, sitting up and bringing his hands to Keith’s shoulders, shaking the lethargic boy with intense emotion.

“What if he doesn’t even want to talk to me and he just feels forced to because he’s too sweet to say no?!”

“Lance, I get that you think the guy’s all sunshine and rainbows, and he probably is, but if he didn’t want to talk to you, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. It’s not that hard to block someone.” he sighed, moving away from Lance’s grip in favour of carrying on typing on his computer.

“…Besides,” Keith continued, peeking up from his work to look at Lance, “I met his best friend Pidge once and trust me, if he didn’t want to talk to you…she’d have obliterated you a long, long time ago.” he shuddered.

Lance slumped back in his seat, face thoughtful.

“That…is oddly comforting. Thanks buddy.”

Keith shrugged, tugging a strand of loose hair back into his messy ponytail.

“Also, your phone just beeped. I’ll take my best guess and say it’s from Hunk.”

Lance turned to face his phone. Sure enough, his Facebook messenger beeped with a new message, alerting him that Hunk had sent him an attachment.

“Conspiracy confirmed cryptid boy.” he smirked, ignoring Keith’s protest in favour of opening up the chat and looking at what Hunk had sent him.

Attached was a photo of Hunk’s dog Emmy, with half of Hunk’s face in the shot, standing right outside a veterinary clinic.

“Doc said she’ll be in perfect health soon! She just ate something bad. Gave her a hug and told her it’s from you and she wagged her tail a lot so that’s got to mean she likes you!” said the message that followed.

Lance let his phone back down and slumped face-first into the table, ignoring the cackle that came from Keith.

“You really like him huh.” Keith stated.

“…I would willingly eat a bottle of hot sauce for him in a heartbeat.” Lance answered.

The scariest part of the situation was that Lance really, truly meant it.

He was wrapped around the finger of a boy he’d never met before.

*****

Hunk felt his phone beep in his pocket, but for the first time in forever, didn’t move to check it, as much as his mind and heart screamed and begged him to.

He was late, he was so, so late and he’d never hear the end of it from Coran if he was late to his first lecture of the year.

He hadn’t even realised how fast summer came and left.Never realised how fast a certain boy named Lance sneaked his way into Hunk’s life even if he’d yet to see him face to face.

He pushed the thought aside in favour of speeding up his step, only pausing for a moment to take out his phone and promptly check the time.

7.30 a.m

Seven. Thirty. In the morning.

In his dazed state, he’d never realised he read the time wrong. The school was only a half hour away from his house, and thinking it was 8.30 when he woke up and his class was at 9.00, he had run the apartment upside down looking for clothes and his toothbrush so he could run out and into the first bus he could catch

But now it was seven thirty and he was five minutes away from the school campus and he honestly never hated himself as much as he did right then and there.

Luckily that hate wouldn’t stand for long-he noticed a local coffee shop across the street, already busy with people shuffling in and out despite the early hour of the morning.

Hunk rushed inside, placing his order to a cheerful yet tired-looking cashier, then moving to the queue waiting for their coffee, his eyes never leaving his phone as he checked through his to-do list and replying to Lance’s text from last night, figuring the boy must’ve been still asleep when he got no reply.

“One cold brew coffee with caramel syrup and soy milk?” the cashier all but yawned, and Hunk turned his head to her with a smile, reaching for the coffee she’d just placed onto the small waiting table.

He stilled when he felt a warm hand clash with his, tan slender fingers with a blue circle on the wrist of said hand.

His eyes widened when the circle glowed, and swirled, his own mark heating up and his eyes burning, the blues and yellows merging into a vibrant green.

There was no need to look up, to realise who it was he’d just felt this connection to.

He’d known from the first time they talked.From that very first, awkward, embarrassing phone call.

Yet he still looked anyway, if anything, just to see the face he could wait not longer to kiss the smirk off of.

“Morning Lance.” he beamed, noticing the green glow subduing from Lance’s eyes, replaced with the baby blues he loved to finally see up close, the smile on Lance’s face too surreal to even try and describe.

“Morning hunky Hunk.” Lance grinned, “glad to finally know what your taste in coffee’s like.” he added with a wink, and before Hunk could reply, he got his arms full of Lance, the scent of sea salt and comfort and home.

It felt right.

It felt stupid to even question it, to ever wonder if this was his person.

Hunk looked down at the boy in his arms, a lip-splitting grin of his own lacing his face, burying himself into Lance’s neck.

“I guess I can finally treat you to that coffee I owed you?” Lance laughed, the warmth vibrating off his neck and onto Hunk.

Hunk huffed, his eyes already watering before Lance leaned closer and kissed his forehead.

“Idiot” Hunk whispered, “You’ve got a lifetime to do that.”

******

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[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Drew

Carly: hey Carly: gimme more of what i got last time yea Carly: she had fun on that Drew: Yeah? Drew: tah for the tip-off Drew: doubt she's in the party mood rn though Drew: not seen her for days Carly: ha Carly: heard u need em boy Carly: im bringing the party thats why uve not seen her Drew: who fed you that bullshit like Drew: you still gotta get yours from somewhere Carly: idk 😢 girl @ the other nights party Carly: k so gimme Carly: im not paying tho Carly: u made her sad u make it better Drew: hmm well you know what girls are like, yeah Drew: don't all play nice like yous two Carly: yea & i kno what lads say girls r like too Drew: ain't saying nothing that ain't true me Drew: so I didn't make her sad Carly: dont u kno the truth hurts Drew: better than bullshit though Carly: u like her Carly: u want her to like you Carly: be nice Carly: be fun Drew: how do i know you won't just take it all girl Carly: aw u wanna watch Carly: cute Drew: if it's cute you're doing it wrong Carly: ha Carly: u dont kno her v well do u Drew: I know her well as you do Drew: always up for more Carly: when you run out of drugs you should pick up a 🎤 & try comedy Carly: everyone knows im the one who plays rough Carly: shes sweet Drew: stock is pretty depleted so thanks for the suggestion Drew: reckon you could stock shelves Drew: maccies, maybe Drew: like I said, maybe yous ain't doing it right Carly: ha ty baby 💛 Carly: gimme what i need for free & im good Carly: like i said love that u want an invite Carly: but idk if shed be into it Carly: she dont like ur hair Drew: you expect me to remember what you order? Drew: cute Drew: yeah she does Carly: like u forget anything about her Carly: cuter Drew: where are you then Carly: [sends location] Drew: you together or what Carly: shes on her way if you wanna wait for her Drew: I should talk to her, actually Drew: she's not told you then Carly: that her bro came to you yea Carly: why wouldn't she Drew: so, not total bullshit Drew: just not the full truth Carly: ? Drew: you said she's sad yeah Drew: don't be thick Drew: why would she be sad if he was just getting a few tabs or something Carly: cos he wasnt Carly: im not that thick Carly: i dont need her to spell out his exact order tho not working under the golden arches yet am i Drew: maybe not Drew: maybe if you were paying I'd say different but do you think getting her high is the best thing for her right now Carly: aw u think u kno better Carly: uve got it really bad Drew: so you don't fuck Drew: and you don't talk Drew: what do you actually do Drew: or is it all just for attention like Carly: we do everything Carly: its cute that you think im gonna get graphic so u can wank about it but like Drew: never been shy before Drew: everyone knows Carly: never been in love before boy Carly: everyone knows that too Drew: and I've got it bad Drew: Jesus Carly: this is mutual tho Carly: different vibe Carly: take ur pining to church if u wanna Carly: loves a trier he do Carly: i been schooled on all that Carly: probably keep your hands off yourself tho its a sin Drew: how long though eh Drew: her last didn't last very long Drew: but you know all about that, like Carly: ill take the credit yea Carly: dont be jealous Carly: youre cute too Carly: just not as cute as me Drew: this month maybe Carly: ha Carly: the flavour's 🍓 Carly: what are you? Drew: you already stoned babe? Carly: you gonna be even more 💔 if I am Carly: or that you're vanilla Drew: I know that girl didn't tell you that Carly: do u Drew: like i said Drew: probably lying anyway Drew: idk who you mean Carly: k Drew: you take the piss Drew: no more freebies Carly: after this im not asking baby Carly: relax Drew: yeah right Drew: that rep precedes you too Carly: didnt ask just got Carly: cos yea my rep does Drew: no one gets freebies forever girl Carly: nobodys talking about forever but you boy Drew: you'll still be needing it when you're cleaning up kid's vom from the ballpit Drew: trust me Drew: i know all the types Carly: u get paid for that Carly: be able to afford u Drew: afford my merchandise anyway Drew: my time's a whole other thing babe Drew: speaking of, be there in 15 so be there alright Carly: im there Carly: 💛 Drew: good girl Carly: did that work on the girl from the party? Drew: you wish you knew Carly: ha maybe Carly: but i wouldnt tell u if i did Drew: why not Carly: not me u like Drew: aw don't be jealous Drew: nuff to go round Carly: im not jealous & ur not slick Carly: but k ill try & remember Drew: yeah right Drew: you already told be Carly: what Drew: you so want me Drew: ha Carly: ur pretty ive told lots of people i think u are Carly: so Drew: you're so weird Carly: can be Carly: like you said my rep is well known Drew: yeah Carly: tell me how u like it & ill be that if the day ever comes Carly: but it probably wont Drew: you flirt a lot for someone who's so in love Carly: aw u think im flirting Carly: u havent seen me do it yet Carly: this is talking Carly: im bored Drew: i know Drew: you said Drew: sweet, right Carly: im not gonna tell her ur a good listener Drew: she knows Carly: how? Drew: we talked loads about her brother like Carly: mean then i have 2 ask u to make shit better u kno Carly: shes special u should be trying harder Drew: i can't make her brother not a junkie can i Carly: neither can she Carly: so she dont wanna think about it Carly: feel about it Drew: i'm coming ain't i Carly: u were gonna make me beg tho Carly: least i kno now thats ur thing Drew: this is still my living ain't it Carly: not asking for ur whole stash Carly: bet u gave party girl freebies & u dont even remember her Drew: i bet she didn't need as much as you 2 Carly: ha Carly: if u kno my rep u kno how needy i am baby Drew: ha yeah Drew: not my thing babe Carly: 😢💔 Carly: ur cute Drew: yeah yeah you said Carly: i said pretty Carly: different words Drew: same bollocks Carly: mean Carly: & untrue Drew: i told you that ain't my thing Carly: being nice? Carly: she won't like u Carly: too late to be in her bad boyfriends club Drew: i ain't bad Carly: what are you Drew: wouldn't you like to know Drew: maybe one day Carly: nvm i kno Carly: ur boring Drew: just giving you your chat back Drew: told you it weren't it babe Carly: aw u want my good chat Drew: be less of a waste of time sure Carly: ur one of those lads Carly: cant get hard til ive talked u up Drew: well you ain't paying so Carly: so u want me to fuck you Carly: or what Drew: obviously not Drew: it's a favour for her Carly: so u want her to fuck you Carly: good luck Drew: no Drew: jesus Drew: shut up and i'll be there sooner Carly: be more fun when u are here Carly: so boring Drew: why ain't you with her Carly: shes on her way remember Drew: need a job walsh Drew: no time to be bored Carly: aw u offering Drew: haha Drew: fuck no Drew: you'd be the worst drug dealer in the world Carly: would i Drew: yeah Drew: you can't be doing half the shit Carly: so u never dip in Carly: like i said boring Drew: got money tho ain't i Carly: i dont need money Drew: yet Drew: you've got a few years at best before you ain't young and pretty enough Drew: already told you Carly: i knew u thought i was pretty too Carly: aw Drew: have that on the house as well Drew: you are desperate weren't wrong Carly: never said u were Carly: not here cos i dont want drugs am i Drew: not what i was chatting on but yeah Drew: save some face now girl Carly: u reckon i need you to tell me im pretty Carly: why would i need you to be the first lad to chat like that to me Drew: you're bored? Drew: fuck knows Carly: not trying to get more bored then Drew: me either Drew: g2g Drew: you're next drop Carly: k Carly: have fun