#🌚🌚

[donnas-dollface]

"even the dogs in Las Almas know not to bark at me."

she's right. i bark for her

[rissouu]

it is a FACT no one does anything romantic or sexual with someone who reminds them of their parents and they NEVER will

are u tryna clock my tea or something, im confused.. when did i say anything like this?? 😥😥

[hanniehq]

need them to pass me around

[artemis32]

[hvrlots]

bite it, scum!

[just-call-mefr1es]

me watching my brother whitewash himself

(He’s now the most disrespectful little demon you’ll ever see)

[lilyko233]

Everytime I saw this helm, I think of this image 🌚

[regulusrules]

Hot take: I also adore loyalty taken to the extreme, but Merthur, specifically from Arthur's perspective in fics like this, is exactly that.

I think one of the things I will always love most about Merthur is that I adore loyalty taken to the extreme. I love someone abandoning all their morals and reframing their entire belief system around one person. I love someone willing to do absolutely anything for someone, no matter how horrendous it is. I love someone who would let their love kill them if they wanted to.

I adore loyalty taken to the extreme, and Merthur, specifically from Merlin’s perspective, is exactly that.

[screampied]

can we talk about them 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

[skeptical-saniwa]

“Well, hello there.”

This was for celebrating 3K on insta! :D

[swampybogg]

[unii-outlawed]

I’m a little bit obsessed with playing and it’s maybe just a little bit shadowheart’s fault👩‍🍳

[ddejavvu]

Hii hope you’re doing well, I was wondering if I could request a criminal minds blurb where reader is Penelope’s best friend and they’ve met for lunch in a cafe near Quantico, and reader is telling Penny about this new guy she hooked up with a few nights ago, reader tells Penny how big the guy was and then a few minutes later Spencer walks in and reader is like “P omg that’s the guy!!” And gestures towards Spencer who’s the only person ordering at the counter? I just feel like Penny would be equal parts both shocked and horrified that her sweet innocent boy Spence has a sex life but also that he’s HUNG?? I literally love you and all your Spencer works and I feel like you’d write this perfectly 🫶🫶

this post is 18+, minors dni.

Penelope is absolutely enraptured by the play-by-play you're murmuring to her over the low din of the cafe's patronage. The whirring and grinding of the machines behind the counter only further aid in your attempt to keep your conversation private, and you can smell sweet strawberries on the bubbly blonde when you lean in to give her details.

"And he reached for his fly- ooh, Penny, the way his arms looked," You gush, remembering the thick veins that had corded his bone while he'd wrestled with his belt, "He whipped his belt out of the way, and- stop!" You urge her when she wriggles her brows at you, "He took his pants off, Penny, and I swear to god I've seen thighs thinner than that dick."

Her resulting squeal is much less hushed than you'd managed to keep the rest of your conversation, and you swat at the arm that's not holding her coffee. She gets the message but resorts to stamping her feet beneath the table instead, a repeated clicking that blends in much better with the mechanical whirring of the baristas' handiwork.

"He was so thick, and Jesus- Penny, he was long, too, just big all around," You recall, insides throbbing with a phantom ache at the memory of what you'd taken last night, "I swear he had me seeing stars," You sigh, glancing down at the pale pink ring of lip gloss around the mouth of your cup, "I'd beg him to come over again tonight, but I think I need a week to recover."

"A week," She breathes dreamily, "I could barely feel the last guy I had."

"Oh, I could feel him," You laugh, "It's like I still can, I'm pretty sure he bruised- oh fuck!"

"What?" Penelope's brow dips instantly, concern etched into her pretty features, "What's wrong?"

"It's him," You grip her hand, nails digging into her skin, "It's the guy from last night!"

"Big dick dude?" She asks, and your frantic nod confirms her theory.

She tries to be subtle, bless her, when she turns to see him, but when the only person that she sees standing in line for a drink is her coworker, her brain chugs along slower than normal.

Where's big dick dude?

Oh, Spencer's here!

I don't see big dick dude.

Spencer is-

You're not sure even the most talented actor could ever recreate the sheer horror swimming in her gaze when she turns to face you again. Her eyes are blown wide and her mouth, lined in a pretty fuchsia paste, is downturned in a grimace.

"Please tell me you're not talking about the skinny mess in the sweater vest."

"That's exactly who I'm talking about!" You gush, trying to avoid his gaze lest he thinks you're trying to follow him around, "Penny, isn't he dreamy?"

"That's- oh my god," She recalls your descriptions, thicker than thighs, longer than you've ever seen, "I have to resign."

[sayyourprayers]

Chandrayaan 3 on the moon. Go babbbbbyyyyy. ISRO 🥰🥰🥰

[ozzgin]

Hellöchen popöchen

I hope no one has asked this before, but does your Rent-A-Monster offer study motivation?

Either a tutor, that can teach me the stuff I have to learn or maybe a monster that will just force me to sit my ass down and study. They could reward me with a "good boy" and I'd probably melt, trying to study even better next time I rent them, just to make them proud again and hear them call me a good boy,,

Maybe I could also get motivated by the monster with the promise of,,, certain rewards 👀✨

Anyway, I have to study for exams and I just can't seem to really do it well and I think that a big hot monster would find a way to motivate me hhh

Hope you're doing well :D -🌚

The hallöchen gave me violent flashbacks from my German uni WhatsApp group 😭

Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, NSFW

Monster!Tutor has been tasked to help you with your homework and studies. Despite, well, his monstrous appearance, he is soft spoken and polite. You found it rather comical to be greeted by an unholy beast as he clumsily adjusted his glasses, sheepishly welcomed you in and asked if you’d prefer tea or coffee.

Monster!Tutor couldn’t ask for a better student. You make him so proud, and he loves taking his time with you. He’ll praise every achievement, no matter how little, as well as your efforts. He knows you’re trying. That’s all that matters, really. For everything else, you can rely on him. You can count on him to support his favorite little human.

Monster!Tutor is determined to have you succeed at all costs. He’s noticed your dusted cheeks whenever you glance in his direction, or the way you twiddle your fingers when he comes nearby. Thus, he’s decided to use it to his advantage. “Oh, you can just sit here instead”, he’ll suggest cheekily, patting his lap. “I didn’t quite hear you”, he’ll say with a grin, pressing his large, clawed hands onto your shoulders and lowering himself close to your face. “Care to repeat?”

Monster!Tutor might have gotten a little too involved in the game he’s devised for your academic success. He yearns to see your flustered expression, so much that he forgot his original intent. It is only when he’s tracing your bare skin, gazing upon your heaving, used body, that he suddenly remembers. “The homework, of course!”, he’ll mumble, embarrassed by his lack of professionalism. “Perhaps I should…clean you up first.”

Monster!Tutor needs you to succeed, because he craves the reward as much as you do, maybe more. Won’t you bring a good result home? Then he can have his way with you again, until you’re a drooling mess and can’t even form coherent sentences anymore. Don’t worry, he’ll explain everything to you, as many times as needed. Besides, cheating is allowed every now and then.

“Do you even need to wear glasses?” you asked once, intrigued by his bizarre choice.

“Not really, no. I hoped to look more human-like for you. Does it work?”

“Uh…sure” you nod, holding back a chuckle.