#『🌈 』 — confession booth

[proselfship-confessions]

I hate that antis have taken over selfshipping. Selfshipping is a proship thing. It has always been.

it ALWAYS has been

[edraculation]

confession i am such a hopeless hate-romantic i need a cool spade to be annoyed by and to annoy in kind OTL </3<

sighhhh real.... im an introject of nepeta and i miss eridan sooo bad </3<

[xomoosexo]

Confession booth I also had a threesome dream with dnf, I pegged George it was awesome

😨 I'm 😧 happy 😳 for you 😶‍🌫️👍 follow your dreams 🤠🌈🌈🌈

[theartofimagining13]

SYNOPSIS: Loki takes a walk down memory lane to the exact, vulnerable moment that changed him and made him realize he’d always choose power over love.

WRITTEN BY: A.Wölf.

NOTES/WARNINGS: 🌈 This doesn’t really have Loki spoilers in it but it’ll make more sense if you’ve seen the 3rd episode. What this story does have is bisexual Loki 🌈 . It’s just something I wish had been truly represented and not just mentioned in the series. Of course, this would’ve only happened if Loki had been produced by HBO and not Disney lol. Also, you guys know that I prefer a darker Loki, a true villain, so... this is kinda dark.

A big shout-out to the LGBTQIA+ community. We love you. 

Enjoy!

“A little bit of both.” Loki confessed proudly with a champagne flute in one hand and his eyes fixed on Sylvie, who was sitting across from him in the booth of that train bar. “But nothing ever…”

“Real.” She finished his sentence.

Loki broke eye contact and hummed before taking a sip of champagne, clearly avoiding the answer. Sylvie smiled.

“Love is mischief then?” She asked.

Loki hesitated.

“Love is…”

He stared at the bubbles in his golden drink as an old memory seemingly began to rise to the surface. Loki allowed himself to plunge into it.

He was suddenly back in Asgard and many years younger. A prince playing king at one of the many parties he hosted back in the day; the type that would make Dionysus and Aristippus proud; surrounded by gold, wine, food, and prospects. And a canopy bed in the far end of the room, like a throne from where to watch the guests and have a little privacy.

The young God in a black and green robe exchanged glances with another man standing by the door; He was one of Asgard’s soldiers and had a very close relationship with the trickster. Without breaking eye contact, Loki walked towards the bed. He opened the curtains and saw his best friend on it, kissing a stranger. She was his confidante and sporadic lover, and the only one with an identical soul who’d understand his needs and share the bed with each of his conquests apart from her own.

Loki showed a mischievous smile and sipped on his wine while staring at them. She returned it as soon as she pulled away and saw Loki sitting on the opposite side. She greeted him with a kiss on the lips as well.

Loki tasted of sweet and strong wine.

The two pulled away when the young soldier finally joined them. He knelt on the bed and slowly crawled on top of Loki whose eyes darkened with desire. The soldier crashed his lips against the god.

Every time they kissed felt like the first time.

The next morning, the young man would be standing in his armor, with the rest of the Asgardian soldiers, taking orders from Odin. And if Loki happened to be in the same room, they would only share a look of complicity. To all of Asgard, they were just friends, but behind closed doors, they had kept the secret of being lovers for a very long time.

Loki looked away from his father and fixed his eyes on the floor instead to try and hide the sadness tainting them.

“A traitor?” He echoed Odin’s words.

“Heimdall would never lie, my son.” Odin sat at the throne looking worried. “I know there’s friendship between you and the young soldier… but I fear his intentions may have been treacherous from the beginning.”

Loki was confused and mad at himself for not realizing it on his own. He blinked several times, still looking away from his father.

“He used me.” Loki murmured. “He pretended to be my friend but why?”

Odin could hear the annoyance in his son’s tone.

“To start a war. He’s been sharing information with other realms. Loki…” He paused. “He’s to be apprehended and executed at the break of dawn.”

Loki’s eyes went wide and his lips parted as he finally looked up at Odin. He remained silent for a minute while the feelings of betrayal and misery blended into anger within him.

“Let me do it.” He pleaded. “I believe I’m owed that much.”

Loki called his lover into his bedroom that night like he often did, but this time, he offered him no smile.

“Remove your clothes.” He simply ordered.

Loki watched as the young soldier did as he was told but this time, instead of enticement, he had a bitter taste in his mouth. His eyes traveled down his body and he stood behind him to get close to his ear.

“Did you really think I would never find out?” He inquired in a whisper.

Loki noticed how every muscle in his lover’s naked back tensed up. He was frozen for a complete minute.

“I must admit I’m quite impressed.” He carried on while walking in a circle around him. “You did fool me for a while.”

The man jerked his chin up to finally look Loki in the eye, he stopped in front of him.

“You must be proud.” Loki said. “You tricked the trickster.”

“I am not proud, Loki. Not proud at all.” He admitted. “I was sent on a mission and that’s all it was in the beginning but I never fathomed I w-”

“Oh, for God’s sake, don’t.” Loki warned.

But the soldier ignored him and inched closer to cup his lover’s face in his hands and felt how Loki stiffened at his touch.

“You couldn’t see my true intentions and you know why.” He said. “I may not have been truthful in the beginning but things changed along the way and the more I got to know you…” He trailed off. “I’m sure you can feel that.”

Loki glared at him. He wanted to believe him but it was too late and he was too proud to give second chances and risk being fooled ever again in his life. His ego had been hurt like never before, and a god who had been mislead so easily wasn’t worthy of the throne. Loki wanted to rule Asgard, even the nine realms. He could not be thought of as weak or naive.

The soldier brought Loki’s face closer to his and kissed him with passion and hints of sadness. He only pulled away to stare into his soul.

“It was real.” He whispered.

Loki clenched his jaw and stared at his lips. He wondered if it was true but realized that opening his heart for the first time only led him to this and the many doubts forming in his mind. He could not allow himself to be vulnerable if he was going to be king. Loki abruptly and brusquely pulled the soldier back in, and conjured up a dagger in his right hand. He immediately stabbed his lover in the stomach. 

The soldier pulled away with widened eyes as he gasped in pain.

“Then you’re even more foolish than I thought.” Loki murmured. There was no room for love and power. He had made up his mind. “Rule number one…” He added. “Never fall in love.”

He felt how his lover got weaker and weaker in his arms but he held onto him. Loki followed, kneeling without letting go of him as he started to slide down to the floor.

“It was real… it w-was r-real.” He kept promising in faint whispers as he bled out but made sure to look Loki in the eye.

When life finally left the soldier, a big sob escaped from Loki’s lips as he finally let his walls come down in solitude, and continued to cradle his dead body on the floor. 

Loki entered the throne room, got down on one knee before Odin with his eyes on the floor, and lifted his dead lover’s severed head like an offering.

There was a knock on her bedroom door in the middle of the night, and she opened it to find Loki covered in tears and blood.

She had never seen his friend in such deep pain. She held him tight and Loki cried like he hadn’t since he was a child. She knew that he wouldn’t be able to talk for a while, so she just drew him a bath to wash the blood off him. After several minutes, and with his legs pressed to his chest, and his chin resting on top of his knees, Loki began to recount the events. By the time he was done, she could see him already starting to change.

This, she confirmed the next morning when she woke up and her friend was gone. Vulnerable Loki had spent the night next to her to not be alone, but she knew she’d never see this side of him again. She finally saw him wandering around the palace with his chin up higher than usual and pretending like nothing had happened. 

After that, Loki started hosting twice as many parties, slept with twice as many men and women, and gave himself into the pleasures of life completely. Perhaps looking for the soldier in everybody else.

“How long are you going to keep on pretending like you’re not in pain?” She asked him one evening and watched how his smile faded for a split second but he tried to hide it by eating more grapes out of the bowl in his hands. “If you don’t let it out, it’s going to eat you up inside.”

Loki glanced at the floor still without uttering a single word. She sighed.

“I know you loved him, Loki.” His friend pushed.

Loki glared at her.

“I’m not a child.” He complained. “Love is for the weak.”

“Why didn’t you let Odin execute him then?” She challenged. “If you truly didn’t care, you would’ve let him. But you knew it would’ve been a much more horrible and merciless death than you and your dagger.” 

Loki blinked several times, still staring at his champagne as he returned to the present in that train bar.

He smiled at the memory of his one true friend and her ability to see through him and read him like an open book. 

Loki finally looked Sylvie in the eye ready to give her a truthful yet confusing answer; one only he could understand.

“Love is a dagger.”

[proselfship-confessions]

(Warning: pedophilia accusation)

One of my f/os is Sir Hiss from Robin Hood, and I remember asking a disney villain imagine blog if I could have some romantic headcanons of Hiss. They obliged, but their post included text saying I was a child predator, all because I labelled myself as a proshipper; (all of my fictional others are older than me (I'm 30 years old) because that's what I'm attracted to.)

It was extremely rude and petty, posting the headcanons anyway but also including shit like "You don't deserve these headcanons" and "Hiss doesn't love you because you're disgusting". I sort of laugh about it, but I still feel hurt sometimes.

Idk, I randomly remembered it today. And it's so stupid because they literally could've just privately messaged me saying "I don't want to make a headcanon post for you, sorry" or whatever. Anything but making a mockery and using one of my favourite characters to hurt me.

--🐍 anon (if it's not taken)

That’s so rude for no reason?? Literally so uncalled for.

[proselfship-confessions]

Honestly i kinda ship myself with myself in a sort of shipcest way? I perceive myself as like multiple different "versions" of me, like my ideal self, or who i present as in public, etc. and i think i selfship with all of them. its just self love with extra steps :)

that’s actually so sweet and fun!!

[proselfship-confessions]

I recently gained a shota F/O... and literally the second I did, I've been searching Tumblr in a mad panic for any scrap of SFW shotacontent.

And he's from a less-known anime. He's ALSO... the main antagonist.

yay shotas!

[proselfship-confessions]

I love being a lesbian that selfships with a gay man,,

is it queerplatonic? is it romantic? No one knows, including the both of us, we're just here to kiss and fuck when we're bored and we're each other's comfort and that's beautiful I think <3

this is so real

[proselfship-confessions]

Selfship confession but i kinda do not understand not sharing. Im not hating. I usually don't share an f/o anyway so it's not a problem. But I just do not get it. Part of it could just be exposure therapy. My selfship is a kin related ship, and because i kin an unpopular character, the two are very very rarely seen in the same room romantically. So I'm just used to seeing other, more popular ships.

Idk.

Like i said, I'm not hating. I just do not understand lmao

-🦠anon if that isn't taken yet

That’s totally understandable. I personally have an f/o that I see on the same level of commitment as my irl spouse, and sharing is a nick for me with him. It could be a different reason for everyone.

[proselfship-confessions]

Sorry this is a little bit of a vent

I got doxxed not too long ago, it was a whole stupid thing, after I called them out they came into my inbox and said all this horrible shit but they also said “btw if those characters met you irl they would hate you” and I tried to brush it off as a stupid immature thing to say after committing an literal crime but I’m not gonna lie it’s gotten to me honestly it got under my skin worse than the doxxing did and I know that sounds stupid but my life has been ruined for years I could not give less of shit if some immature brat wants to call up my workplace(oh no don’t get me fired from my easily replaceable fast food job!) but my men mean a lot to me and being told they’d hate me just for being myself really hurt

Like I know it’s not true but I can’t get it out of my mind after all that

-🔧 anon if it’s not taken

What an idiot, dude!

Your f/os would be disgusted at the fact that they were being used to make you feel bad, because they would care about you! They’d hate to be used as ammunition for an argument like that. They’d be dusgusted that someone would talk shit about them as a way to insult you, and they’d probably want a restraining order against that creep.

[proselfship-confessions]

sometimes i want to interact with some of the selfship reblog game but it either has a pro/comship DNI on it or it allows proship/profic safe but if i do it people might recognize me and attack me : (

Yeah, I get that fear. Valid, anon

[proselfship-confessions]

not a f/o but he's still a fictional character whom i find hot

is it weird to love a character but hate him at the same time? i'm talking about Kimura (from Azumanga Daioh). i think he's pretty cute but at the same time i despise him (because of the scene with Kaorin and the fact he made Sakaki cry once) 😭

𝄞 anon

Love hate relationships…

[proselfship-confessions]

Having selfship autism is so rough bc why did I see someone share their opinion on why they didn't like my F/O and my initial mental response was "I respect your opinion but I dislike the way you worded this because the single word you used kinda doesn't grasp the real reason he changed in the story and also-" on and on while I blocked them 😭😭😭

Felt that anon, we all felt that 😔

[proselfship-confessions]

I definitely have a favorite F/O and I feel a little bad about it

I think it’s okay to have a favorite f/o, for what it’s worth :]

[proselfship-confessions]

Hello again! So, I was the one who asked if vent confessions are okay. Thank you for answering!

I don't think it involves serious issues other than just this weird (and perhaps irrational) jealousy I have over a character that gets commonly shipped with my F/O. The character in question is Kazuha from Genshin Impact, and my F/O is the Wanderer.

Forgive the incoming TMI, I don't know how else to explain it huhu

Kazuha has a new line of merchandise coming up (autumn wear), and they're really pretty, not gonna lie! I do like them, but it looked similar to Wanderer's own line, and the fact that the artwork in the keychain (that comes with the purchase) looks like they can be put side-by-side is what triggered me and my insecurities. Some fans, especially the canon x canon shippers, are already pointing it out the characters' aesthetic similarities.

https://twitter.com/GenshinUpdate/status/1699998676092096870

https://twitter.com/GenshinUpdate/status/1833356121878524301

I like to imagine my self-insert OC wearing modern stuff like this for the immersive experience, and I hate that a simple set of merch ruined it for me.

this really sucks, i’m sorry! i bet your f/o is super uncomfy to have matching merch made with a canon character when they actually love you, anon!

[proselfship-confessions]

Hi, um! Still figuring out the whole selfship thing, but wanted to be in here so older proshippers/proselfshippers can feel comfortable! (Bodily 30)

Can we claim 🎪anon?

Lots of love to older proshippers and older selfshippers!!