one aspect of schizophrenia i dont see talked about very much is one that is, in my experience, the most personally upsetting. and thats the breakdown of word articulation. as i write this i'm havign trouble even putting words to describe how its hard to put words.
i used to be a prolific (fanfiction) writer. i can barely formulate tumblr posts at this point. it's not even that i was a particularly good writer, but it came so easily to me to put words on paper. i've always been a little bad at talking out loud due to my autism, but that used to be much better too.
it's just genuinely upsetting to me. i would trade my medication out in a heartbeat if there was one that treated this instead of my positive symptoms, my ability to pass as 'normal' be damned.
☆ ⸺ ; hey i'm cookie .ᐟ 29y, she/her, bi .ᐟ remade on 7|05|24 didn't unf or blk . i mostly post vocaloid & various aesthetics here but i also treat this as my personal, hope u enjoy your time on my blog . ♡
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PAIRING. idol! akito shinonome x fem! idol! reader
SYNOPSIS. after your successful comeback as a soloist with your album called “angel destroyed”, your sudden fame rose and landed you a contract with the most famous japanese idol company called project sekai entertainment. not to long after, a rampage on idoltwt involving with you and vivid bad squad member akito shinonome after he mentioned you in his live. unknown to him, this led to massive changes to your new and upcoming relationships with him.
WARNINGS. slightly suggestive (but no nsfw!), sexual and inappropriate language used, music used is from other artists or made up, mentioning of ed and vomiting, stupid ppl, criticism = hate comments, mentions of hiatuses.
TAGS, GENRE & FEATURES. smau + writing, idol! au, this is me trying to have humour 👎, drama cause of twitter lol, akito is there ig obv, chapters with (🚦) have written parts. featuring the following: vivid bad squad, nightcord at 25:00’s ena, more more jump!’s airi and shizuku.
STATUS. 250624 - ??? PLAYLIST / TRACKLIST
PROFILES. ➜ totally spies but make them singers | vacation bible study
OK SO DURING JIMMYS STREAM WITH GRIAN THERE WAS A TON OF HINTS TO THE LIFE SERIES AND GRIAN SAID HE HAD TO GO BECAUSE IT WAS TIME TO "PREPARE FOR THE THING" THERES BEEN SO MUCH HINTING FOR THE NEW LIFE SERIES RECENTLY BUT LIKE IDK I FEEL LIKE IT MIGHT BE BEING RECORDED TOMMOROW.. okay so jimmy said he wouldn't stream tommorow grian said he would be busy preparing tonight for the thing, pearl said she couldn't stream on Monday because SOMETHING was conflicting with it and she would need sleep After, scar tweeted a traffic lights gif on twitter, bdubs changed his minecraft skin, and Geminitay tweeted photos with the captions❤️💛💚
UPDATE: TANGO JUST POSTED ON HIS TWITTER "IMPORTANT RECORDING TOMMOROW AFTERNOON" OMG WAS MY THEORY ACTUALLY RIGHT?!?!