#❀ —— COUNTERED ( answers . )

[sewerdraws]

this is technically partially sniperspy but, support sandwich?

can't catch a fucking break with these two they even followed him to the gay bar

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: Check out. The fully-sexual charged cinematic movement design.

Cnetizens: How did the director come up with the idea to have him kneel on a playing card, adding so much aesthetic energy, is that some kind of genius?

[canisalbus]

Machete and Vasco are so pomegranate-and-the-hand-that-slices coded. To me.

Pomegranates are seen as messy, bloody, inconvenient fruits. You slice or tear or bite and in return for your effort you come away underwhelmed, disgusted, and stained too deep to wash. The consumption of a pomegranate is a violent act of defilement, for both the fruit and the eater.

But that is because most do not understand how to open a pomegranate. They have little patience for the precise carving. They see no point in coreing the fruit gently, no reason to be reverent as they pull the quarters apart. When done correctly, opening a pomegranate leaves little mess. Your fingers will still stain, your knife will still slick, but there will be no pool of crimson drowning both you and the fruit.

The seeds are only sweet to those who understand the merit of a light hand and intricate slicing. Why put in so much effort for a food so bitter and clearly armored against consumption? Surely it must not yearn to be eaten.

(^insane about silly catholic dogs)

.

[owlbee-writing]

TMA season five where everything is the same but Martin has a water bottle and spritzes Jon every time he answers a question ominously

[falseroar]

"Why did the characters in Edge of Sleep make that decision?" "Why didn't they do this obvious thing?"

Because they're sleep-deprived as hell. Look me in the eye and tell me you haven't made a series of questionable decisions at three in the morning.

[thevioletcaptain]

i make a nickel / boss makes a buck / so at work i write fic / where the characters fuck

idk is this anything?

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

I may be going insane

[unexpectedbrickattack]

I bet Gustavo knows how’s exactly small he is and uses his charms and adorableness to get tips , and it’d work

Peppino pays Gus very well (esp after postgame) so theres no need to have tips. He lets Gus have the jar there anyway, but at the cost of having Pep occasionally come up behind him and catch him conning these poor customers

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 762

Wanda: “Why do your ears have knives?”

Agatha: “You like them? I decided I needed some earrings that would also function as a weapon - so I used some tiny little daggers. This way, I’m never without a violent option!”

Y/N: “But you have Wanda!”

Wanda: “HEY”

[skibasyndrome]

wilmon + "it's okay, baby" 👀👀👀👀

cw: murderer boyfriends universe (as seen here) although you probably don't notice it too much? either way, definitely nsfw, also light panic attack, also also: this Wille is a little bit broken and likes a little bit of praise sometimes i also definitely cheated by adding sentences before the sentence, whoops

When Simon reaches out a hand towards Wille's face his first instinct is to flinch away, but he's a bit too dazed for that, to weighted down by Simon moving on his lap, hands too occupied with helping Simon raise his body up and sink back down onto Wille's cock again. So he lets it happen, watches with bated breath as Simon extends two long, slim fingers, raises them to his cheek and brushes a wayward strand of hair out of his face, behind his ear for him. And somehow, this is the last thing Wille would have expected. He immediately stills the movement of his hands, lets his heavy body sack back against the headboard, feels his own eyebrows furrow in confusion. "It's okay, baby," Simon whispers, not a trace of confusion, not a trace of urgency in his voice. "Wille... ," he brings the hand towards Wille's face again, hesitating for a second, then brushes the pad of a finger over the healing cut under Wille's eye. "It's okay, Wille."

But nothing is okay, nothing feels okay right now, because whatever this is, Wille is not fucking prepared for it. He feels his stilted breathing kick into gear, feels it go from zero to a hundred. This isn't- This isn't what they do, this isn't the way they normally fuck, this isn't brain empty, fire in the pit of his stomach, grunts and pants and fingers grabbing and clawing and sweaty bodies rutting against each other until bliss takes over. This isn't what they do, this isn't what Simon normally does, this isn't- Wille is sucked out of the whirling mess of his own thoughts by Simon putting pressure against his sternum, then sliding his palm over his pec, pressing, rubbing in gentle circles over the sweat-slick skin that's only barely containing Wille's heavily thumping heart. The panic threatens to rise again. How does Simon- how did he-?

"Baby..." The pet name, every vowel drawn out sweetly, cuts through the the racing of Wille's mind, precise and searing like a knife. Wille swallows hard and lifts his gaze, meeting soft, brown eyes that look so kind it's hard to fathom. These aren't Simon's sex eyes, normally gorgeously half-lidded and blinking up at Wille slowly by this point, these are the eyes he gives Wille when he drags a damp rag down his neck to help him clean the blood off, these are the eyes he gives Wille when he tells him to be careful out there. Simon continues pushing his palm against Wille's rising chest, warm and sure and just firm enough to give him that grounding he needs and Wille feels something else rise up in the back of his throat. He swallows against it uselessly. "Do you like this, baby?" Simon asks, putting just a smidgen more pressure, grazing his fingers over Wille's collarbone so softly that the urge to fucking cry is getting harder and harder to fight. But Wille pushes through, he always does, presses his mouth shut and nods. Fuck, yes he does. He does, and he doesn't get it, but all he knows is he's going to fucking lose it if Simon stops now. And as if that was his cue, Simon works his thighs around him, lifts himself up again, stirring up that sweetly burning feeling in the pit of his stomach again. When Simon raises himself once, then sinks back down on him again, hot and tight and fucking breathtaking, they both moan out in unison. There he is again, the Simon he knows, the one that makes Wille's head feel so beautifully empty, but he's still pressing that hand against Wille's chest, now gently thumbing over Wille's jawline with the other and this is- fuck, Wille doesn't know what to fucking focus on. Simon's voice comes through to him again, reminding him that he's got hands, too, making him press one against the small of Simon's back - they moan again as it sends Simon closer - the other grabbing a handful of Simon's ass. "You're doing so well, baby," Simon gasps out, and they both know he doesn't mean Wille's uncoordinated thrusts. And yet Wille just nods stupidly, pushing Simon closer, tilting his head towards his touch, letting himself be consumed by the sensations Simon is sending through his entire fucking body. "So good for me, Wille, so perfect."

i am ONCE AGAIN thanking you profusely for enabling the murderer AU agenda, Martina 😭🤝💜 THANK YOU for the best fucking sentence to make... this happen 💜💜💜

Send me "Wilmon" + a sentence and I'll write you (a lot more than) 5 more

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

[b0tster]

So I've been playing BBPSX again and again instead of playing the other games I've been meaning to (I swear I'm playing Signalis after this run) and I was wondering what went into what weapons made the cut, especially with the new weapons. Some seem pretty self explanatory, like the axe and BoM are already in there, may as well make them usable. Although it is interesting that you moved the axe to after Gascoigne.

great question!

basically i wanted each stat to have at least one dedicated trick weapon for each stat so no one felt left out. this meant that i converted the saw spear to scale off of bloodtinge and why the tonitrus was added as well (for arcane users).

i made the axe a weapon u find in the game world instead of a starter weapon because theres only 6 weapons in the game, meaning that if there were 3 starter weapons that would be literally half the entire roster which felt imbalanced.

[canisalbus]

do u have a specific year in mind or is it just general 16th century vibes

Very late 16th century. I'm reluctant to assign them specific years because I prefer to have just a little bit of wiggle room, I'd go crazy if I had to map out their timeline to follow real life historical details to a T (it's not impossible to do that by any means, I'm just not strong enough weh). For example, I tend to use a lot of early to mid 1500's references for Vasco's wardrobe, by the end of the century fashion had already started to take somewhat darker and more rigid direction and I like to keep Vasco's attires colorful, voluminous and eyecatching. Mostly to highlight their visual contrast to Machete's angular and constricted silhouettes and predominantly black palette.

I keep calling them late Renaissance dogs but in truth they're closer to early Baroque. At the moment I'd say they were probably born in the 1570's, Vasco is a couple years older than Machete but in the grand picture they're practically the same age. In the bad ending Machete dies in his early/mid 40's, that would mean a little after the turn of the century. Vasco lives to his 70's so he'd still be around in... 1640, right? But again, I don't like giving them fixed dates, I'm just thinking out loud. Might go back and retcon this in the future if I change my mind in a way or another.

[carlyraejepsans]

hey I'm really sorry but I really need to clarify this. Did you post a sans vs reigen Tumblr sexyman art on the anniversary? and in that did sans happen to obliterate reigen before knocking on queen Liz's door? Because it really seems like I'm crazy cuz like. It's June 8th.

this is hilarious bc saying i posted it on the anniversary is like saying your parents celebrated your birthday the day you were born. like yeah i guess it's technically right, but not what people would think lol. anyway you're probably thinking of this one. it's still my most popular post to this day

[midgardian-witch]

Fran, Fran, Fran, you have smutty William Tell thoughts you say? 👉👈 Would this picture convince you to share them? 👉👈

Of course it would, Fen! I mean look at him!

So, smutty thoughts 😈

alright so the man enjoys routine right?

what better and sexier routine could there be than the D/s lifestyle!

he's absolutely tried solo bondage at least once

poor guy is traumatized by the things he's done to people and yearns to be punished

so what if he pays for a professional Dominant to order him around to make sure he takes care of himself and also gets his ass spanked raw???

maybe even be locked in a dog cage and not being allowed to sleep on a real bed

and just imagine that man with a collar around his neck or a cage around his cock

getting whipped and slapped and punished just so he can be forgiven after

to be held close and have someone tell him he's good, he's forgiven, it's over

getting 'salvation through an orgasm' type deal

[shiftythrifting]

What's the weirdest thing you've seen in a thrift shop? By the way thanks for this blog. I always get a good laugh out of the stuff here

Most recently it was one of the Avatar reborn dolls under the glass that looked like it had been hastily thrown in, back arched with its anatomically correct blue dongus pointed to the sky. Enough to bring me to a full stop.