#✶ OFTEN IT WILL COME TO YOU IN YOUR DREAMS — FILMS/TV.

[berzahoes]

“slut!” | tom blyth

summary: in a word full of boys, tom is a gentleman.

an: takes place before filming billy the kid

warnings: mean names hence the title also if you care, reader is the same age as tom lol

“so keep your boyfriends hidden because y/n is newly single!”

“how many boyfriends has she had in the last four years?”

“clearly she’s the problem if she can’t keep a boyfriend.”

you heard it all. the names people called you, the headlines, news reports. it was always the same. people would rather shame you for your love life than be quiet. in the past you did joke that you went on many dates, clearly the media didn’t care if you were joking or not.

your manager had even banned you from looking at the really negative comments on your phone. twitter was having a field day with your love life.

“slut!” was the phrase often directed towards you. while your loyal fans defend you, you could still see all the hurtful things people said about you.

“do you want to cancel tomorrow’s interview?” lisa, your manager, asked one day. you hadn’t answered your phone at all and she was concerned so she drove to your new york apartment and let herself in with the spare key she had. she had found you in the darkness of your room curled up with your plethora of blankets.

“cancel everything. i just want to rest for a while.” you managed to say. lisa was like your second mom. she cared about you more than anything.

“we can do that.” lisa assured.

“lisa?” you turned to face her.

“yes?”

“thanks for checking on me.”

“always.”

after that conversation, lisa made some calls and any movie or tv show deal you had were quickly cancelled. over the next few days, the media found out that you pulled out of many movies from big franchises like marvel and star wars. it was always a dream of yours to be in anything marvel or star wars related, but for now, those projects had to continue without you.

many friends and colleagues reached out to you, but all you could do was send a simple ‘thank you’ and be done with it.

days passed and you were still in your apartment. you didn’t mind being alone, you liked it better that way. sometimes lisa or your parents would drop by or even your upstairs neighbor, mrs. davis, a nice old lady who knew that your favorite cupcakes were red velvet so she made you some to cheer you up.

it was a tuesday afternoon when you heard someone cursing multiple out in the hallway. you figured someone got locked out so you ignored it. pretty much everyone in the entire building got locked out at least once. you were ignoring the cursing as you continued reading your book and ate your red velvet cupcake that your kind neighbor had made you. a few seconds later, you heard a knock on your door.

“no.” you groaned as you stood up to answer the door. you opened it to find tom. you had only known him because you had a mutual friend so you were surprised to see him at your door.

“hi,” he spoke. “i called and texted . . a lot. i just wanted to see how you were.”

“i’m alive as you can see.” you said.

“i know you’ve been asked this question a lot lately but are you okay?”

that’s when you broke down. you couldn’t keep it together in front of tom, but he didn’t mind comforting you. somehow he knew exactly what you needed to hear.

he would often come over to keep you company when lisa or your parents couldn’t. he understood you didn’t want to step foot outside so he didn’t force you. instead, you two would go up to the terrace of your apartment building and hang out. tom would bring lunch or dinner depending on the time that he decided to visit. during that time, you two would talk about whatever would come to mind. tom did his best to avoid talking about work, but you always asked how his filming was going or if he had auditioned for anything new.

“i got the part,” he admitted. “i’m playing billy the kid.” he smiled brightly.

“I’m so happy for you, tom! you deserve it!” you hugged him.

“it’ll be announced next week. you’re the first to know, well apart from my manager.” he chuckled.

“you deserve that and more.” you smiled.

“you do too. other people should see that,” tom said. “you’re so talented and amazing and everything about you is so. . . incredible. i wish people see you the way i do.”

you were speechless.

“are you okay?” tom asked when he noticed you were quiet.

fuck. fuck. fuck FUCK he thought to himself

“you mean it?” you managed to say. you could feel yourself start to blush.

“every bit and more. i enjoy being with you and if i could be with you for the rest of my life then i would die a happy man.”

[kaiser1ns]

𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

╹synopsis :: it doesn't take much to say or show you love someone even with the simplest of actions.

╹contents :: can be read as fem/gn reader; characters from blue lock, jjk and honkai star rail, FLUFF, ooc maybe?

╹notes :: as i was walking to go home at like 10pm i thought of this, hope you enjoy! added hsr specially for @okkalo ♡

ITOSHI SAE immediately takes you out to visit the sea when he gets some days off. The sounds of the waves, the relaxing atmosphere and you in his arms calm him down causing him to flashback to his childhood memories of when he was just a small and carefree child wanting nothing more but to play football with his little brother and personal cheerleader.

Not only he is known as the strongest but GOJO SATORU is also known for having a very strong sweet tooth. So what does he do to reduce the sugar? He shares it with you because there is nothing better than sharing his favourite thing with his lover, so let's say he gets a double dose of chocolate and candy from just seeing you and that's enough.

AVENTURINE is not afraid to take the risk and his constant smile makes it difficult for people to guess his true intentions. Not with you though, he lets his guard down, your voice soothing him to help him relax and as he gets lost in your touch. He is not Aventurine of the IPC or the Ten Stonehearts, he is just Kakavasha the little boy who once dreamed of love and now he won the biggest treasure in his life — you.

ITOSHI RIN knows how much you don't like scary movies, and that's why when you come over for the weekends you watch movies or series of your choice, be it Barbie or The Lion King. He will swallow his ego and stop watching the weekly uploads of his favourite scary games just so you can't fall asleep on purpose because of the horror films.

GETO SUGURU can't stop talking about how beautiful, amazing, and kind you are. Mimiko and Nanako are tired because they are the only ones who get to hear all his murmuring when you are away even for only 5 minutes. But they know how much he loves you and how you breathe life into him, and he wishes that someday they will become like you — strong and good-hearted.

ARGENTI thanks and prays to Idrila every moment of his life for obtaining the biggest blessing to ever exist and that is meeting you. The Knight of Beauty makes sure to give you one red rose every day to express his profound love and admiration, it's a small gesture that symbolizes his devotion to the relationship. He should protect his lover and like flowers, the tender petals are directed to you, with the thorns to the cosmic and its danger protecting you

It may seem that he is spoiled, but in fact, NAGI SEISHIRO is not, well not that much. Sometimes he takes charge of the household chores, giving you, a well-deserved break. He washed the dishes, cooked you a meal (instant noodles), and even tried to fold the laundry. And you, pleasantly surprised, sank into the couch, embracing the rare luxury of relaxation as familiar songs from your shared playlist were playing on the TV. Even if it doesn't happen often you are forever grateful for your lazy boyfriend to do something like that.

ITADORI YUJI shows genuine interest and actively listens to you talking about your current obsession be it a series, celebrity, book, food, or anything. He loves your voice, seeing your beautiful smile, and how your eyes seem to sparkle as you talk, he is so lovestruck that he sometimes just stares at you with the most soft and genuine look. Just don't be surprised when you find some merchandise on your desk with a little love note, okay?

Engaging in meaningful conversations and connecting on a deeper level with DR. RATIO seems like every other normal day for him. He approaches every interaction with a thirst for knowledge. And you take him by surprise every time and he doesn't know what to do, the great genius suddenly stops functioning. The way you hold his hand, kiss his cheek, make him stutter — he goes crazy and questions himself about how there is no logical explanation for this, but there is, it is called love.

SHIDOU RYUSEI doesn't like to share his material possessions with anyone, he worked so hard to get the last volumes of Chainsaw Man as they are now put on the shelf in his bedroom. And imagine his reaction when he sees you reading volume 10 which has Makina on the cover, cuddled nicely with his blanket on the bed. How dare you read it without him? And so he jumps onto the mattress, squishing you because that's your punishment for not telling him. You apologized to him of course but for him to fully forgive you, next time you will be on anicon cosplaying Makima and Denji.

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI remembers the small details about you and your preferences. If you don't like a certain ingredient in the food, he will order the dish without it. You like to sleep on this side of the bed, no problem he will sleep on the other side as you both cuddle and drift to Dreamland. He will immediately notice the change in your mood and even if he is not so good with words, he will always be there for you offering his warm embrace.

As a Galaxy Ranger BOOTHILL tends to travel around the cosmos a lot and sadly he can't spend time with you. But when he's with you, one of the things you do is his hair and to put cute stickers on his metal hands or guns. The scary cyborg cowboy is now a pretty princess with pigtails, heart stickers and with a very happy lover. He watches you having fun with his makeover — and will do everything possible to spend more time with you.

©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Judy Garland (Meet Me In St. Louis, A Star is Born, Summer Stock)— Judy is the GOAT when it comes to classic movie musicals. The voice of an angel who deserved so much better than she got. She can sing she can dance she can act she's a triple threat. Though she had a turbulent personal life (her treatment as a child star by the studio system makes me mad as hell like Louis b Mayer fight me ((she was made to believe that she was physically unattractive by the constant criticism of film executives who made her feel ugly and who manipulated her onscreen appearance by capping her teeth and using discs in her nose to change its shape and Mayer called her "my little hunchback" like imagine hearing that as a child and not having damage)) she always goddamn delivered on screen and in any performance she gave. She began in vaudeville performing with her sisters and was signed to MGM at 13. Starting out in supporting parts especially paired with mickey Rooney in a bunch of films (she's the best part tbh) she eventually transferred to the lead role. She is best known for her starring role in movie musicals like the iconic Wizard of Oz (somewhere over the rainbow still hits hard and is ranked the top film song of all time), meet me in St. Louis (Judy singing have your self a merry little Christmas brings tears to the eyes she is that powerful), the Harvey girls (she looks like a technicolor dream and sings a catchy af song about trains), Easter parade ( dancing and singing with Fred Astaire), for me and my gal, the pirate, and summer stock ( with pal Gene Kelly who she helped when he was starting out and he helped her when she was struggling). But she also does non- singing just as well like the clock ( her first movie where she sings no songs and is an underrated ww2 era romance), her Oscar nominated a star is born ( like the man that got away she put her whole soul in that and I have beef with the fact she lost to grace kelly ((whom I love but like still not even her best work)), and judgement at Nuremberg (a courtroom drama about the nazi war criminal trials). Outside of film she made concert appearances to record-breaking audiences, released 8 studio albums, and had her own Emmy-nominated tv series. She was the youngest (39) and first female recipient of the Cecil B DeMille award for lifetime achievement in the film industry. Girl was a lifelong democrat and was a financial and moral supporter of many causes including the civil rights movement (she was at the March on Washington and held a press conference to protest the 16th street Baptist church bombings). She was a friend of the Kennedy family and would call jfk weekly often ending the calls by singing the first few lines of somewhere over the rainbow (she thought of them as Gemini twins).She was a member of the committee for the first amendment which was formed in response to the HUAC investigations. Though she died far too young and tragically she remains an icon for her work and her life. As a girl who didn't feel like i was as pretty as everyone else I have always felt a connection to Judy and I just really love her.

Natalie Wood (West Side Story, The Great Race)—She went through so much shit which I know can be said for all these women but Natalie really was a star and her death often overshadows her career and life. She could make you cry, but she also had the capacity to be incredibly funny which I think is lost on people.

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Natalie Wood:

Judy Garland:

Judy's voice alone qualifies her for at least top ten hottest HOT VINTAGE MOVIE WOMEN. She was a truly incredible swing singer, with a stunning voice on top of her technique. Her short dark hair looked incredible in just about any style. Have I mentioned her swagger? I can’t do it justice with words. She had swagger. She was funny as hell, and clever too. Incredibly charming and cool. I adore her.

Her eyes, her voice have bewitched me

I mean how can you beat the one and only Judy? She's beautiful, her smile is contagious, the way she sings with her whole body. You can't help but love her.

Beautiful woman, love her singing voice. And she can do everything between happy or silly and angry or heartbroken

[not-goldy]

Do you think Jikook's bond (whatever it is) is a goldmine to HYBE and they are trying to profit off it?

Thanks for such an intelligent question, having had one such mentally stimulating ask in a while.

Is Hybe overtly exploiting the chemistry that BTS has and that each pair has within the band, absolutely. I mean that bit should be so easy to wrap your head around.

Romance, bromance is one of the top selling genres of all time. The idea of BTS having a super strong fated bond between them is so commercially viable literal movies and songs have been written about them. 7 dates, bullet proof, and their recent Kdrama series etc to be exact.

And ships sell. I've said this since day one. The commercial viability of ships is just an offshoot of the commercial viability of bands as discussed above.

So yes, within that context, Hybe definitely would gravitate towards the two members with the most chemistry, who also happen to be two of the most liked members of the group, two of the most popular members and the most influential members of the group.

You don't go to war with your weakest soldiers.

Jikook is a very strong ship. We all know that.

They've had the most running in the group with some of the ships rising and falling over the years in terms of chemistry and popularity.

There's a lot to do with a pair like that. Reality shows, travel shows, documentaries, memoirs, tell all, cooking shows.

I watch a lot of reality TV and it's not hard to see how Jikook would fit right into that realm.

If BTS was love Island 🏝 Jikook would get their own spinoff after the season ended.

Fans love them, they get the most votes, the camera adores them and producers have so much they wanna do with them.

Am I making sense???

Going off with the Love Island analogy, just because Jikook are fan favorite, and the crew likes to follow them every where with a camera, and they are getting a spin off show of just the two of them don't necessarily mean their bond is fake that they are only existing for fan service or that the company is exploiting them.

There's just so much to do with them. They are fun entertaining adorable and a pleasure to work with.

So to answer your question I'll say yes and no.

Yes, they definitely a Goldmine for hybe in as far as content production goes.

No because they get to kill two birds with one stone. They can make money off of them, but also they create a safe space for Jikook to have that longevity to explore and nurture their relationship. They love being together. They love doing what they do. Hybe simply allows them to live their dreams and relationship much longer.

I've always said, if any queer pair in kpop were real you'd find them in a ship because ships would be their perfect cover for it. And we've seen jikook use this card very often to get out of trouble. Everything they do would be chalked down to fan service no matter how egregious they were. It can be invalidating and frustrating but In a way, it's also safe for them that way.

If I got paid to cozy up to my girlfriend, travel the world with her, eat as much as we can, hike, experience all and any culture- yall could call us anything you want I'm taking that offer🤣🤣🤣🤣

But we gotta give credit where credit is due because to me it's Jungkook that lay the foundation for all of this to be possible when he put of his first GCF with Jimin and later Jimin lay on top of him on a couch talking bout how they ought to do it again and how he would even model for him if filming is what he wanted to do.

I think they gave Hybe the idea of what it can do with them.

You can tell these things are things they both naturally want to do and have already done. During Run, they come up with a team name, they work well together, during rehearsals they stay behind and work on their routines tweaking it a bit, they come up with cooking shows to do, stay up all night doing nothing.

They are by themselves very creative and adventurous.

So like I said, I don't think this is hybe mining them but more so amplifying and giving them the production value to do what they already have been doing which they love, fans love and the company loves.

I'm sure if any other pair had this same organic pull towards eachother and wanted to be around eachother all the time too hybe would be just as curious and invested in them but as it turns out there isn't.

We are not stupid, we see them. And we see how some members act like they can't wait to get out of set when others keep it going even after they yell cut.

We see them all.

[chelseachilly]

do you want to build a snowman?

pairing: reader x ben chilwell request: "ok so you and ben have a daughter around 3 or 4 and its her first time seeing snow so they take her outside to build a snowman :)" - anonymous warnings: fluffff, dad!ben word count: 2k

author’s note: thanks for all the requests!! i'm really getting in the flow of writing rn (and inspired by the holidays) so i'm going to do my best to write as many of them as i can! ❄️

-

“Is Daddy gonna be home soon?”

It’s not the first - or the second, or the fifth - time your daughter has asked this question since she woke up this morning. 

Ben left for training shortly before 8, and neither you nor your daughter Sophie were awake yet. You could’ve happily slept a few more hours, but Sophie woke you up not long after to excitedly announce that it had snowed overnight.

In her four years of life, your daughter has never seen a significant amount of snow, at least that she can recall. It snowed quite a bit on her first Christmas, but she was far too little to remember that, and since then there’s been nothing but a few flurries here and there or a light dusting on the rooftops.

She’s quite fascinated by the concept from watching movies and TV shows featuring winter activities and is currently deep in a Frozen phase, which means she’s obsessed with the idea of building a snowman. 

Over the past month as the weather got colder, you and Ben had tried to keep her expectations low as you weren’t sure you would get enough snow to make this dream a reality. You could tell it was killing Ben to disappoint her - he hates denying his little girl anything - and a few nights ago you caught him looking into booking a holiday to Switzerland or Finland or anywhere she would be guaranteed some snow.

Thankfully, today her prayers were answered, and you were fully prepared to bundle up and go outside with her before you even had your coffee, but she insisted on waiting for Ben. It was their plan to build the snowman together, Sophie told you, and she stuck to her decision even when you reminded her he wouldn’t be home for hours.

It‘s been pretty adorable watching her anxiously await her dad’s return all morning, pacing around the house and checking for his car in the driveway often. You can tell how badly she wants to go out and play in the glistening white snow, and the remarkable restraint she’s showing is a testament to how much of a daddy’s girl she is. 

“Not too much longer, sweetheart,” you assure her as you beckon her to come cuddle with you on the couch where you’re doing a bit of work on your laptop. “He texted a while ago and said he’ll be here as soon as he can.”

“Alright,” Sophie sighs. “Can you put on Frozen?”

You’ve watched this movie more times than you can count lately, and once already today, but you remind yourself that you signed up for this when you chose to be a parent as you’re queuing up Disney Plus once again. 

Later, when you’re nearing the end of the film and you’ve given up on doing any more work as long as your daughter is screaming the lyrics to each song, you hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. 

“Daddy!”

The movie is quickly abandoned as Sophie darts toward the foyer to greet Ben. You’re not too far behind her, though by the time you reach them she’s already in her dad’s arms.

“Daddy, it snowed!” Sophie exclaims, her little arms wrapped around Ben’s neck. “We have to build a snowman!”

“I know, darling,” Ben laughs, giving Sophie another squeeze before gently setting her down. “Why don’t you go get your coat on while I say hello to Mummy?”

Sophie nods and eagerly runs toward the closet to fetch her winter coat. As Ben drops his bag and makes his way over to you, you can see how tired he is from training. When he cups your face to give you a kiss, you can tell he’s also freezing. 

“How was training, baby?” you murmur, placing your hands on his to warm them up. 

“Cold,” Ben sighs. “Forgot how brutal it is training in the snow. I’m glad the gaffer let us go home early, though.”

“You and me both,” you smile, leaning in to kiss him again. “Maybe you should warm up a bit before going out to play with Soph?”

“No, she’s been waiting for me all day,” Ben says. “I’ll be fine.”

You know there’s no changing his mind, especially when Sophie comes running back into the room in her adorable little puffer jacket that nearly swallows her whole. You help her zip it up and grab mittens, a scarf and a hat to keep her warm, as well as some for you and Ben. 

Once you’re all ready to face the cold, you head out to the garden together. You and Ben have matching grins on your faces as you watch Sophie excitedly run through the snow for the first time, a core childhood memory being created right before your eyes. 

She gets to work right away on her snowman, rolling the snowball she’s formed as long as she can before it gets too heavy for her and she has to accept Ben’s help. 

You join in on their efforts, occasionally taking a break to take some photos of your daughter and husband that you already know are going to be your new phone background.

After some hard work - certainly for a four year old - the snowman is completed with a carrot nose and hat that you had prepared just for this occasion. 

“He looks great, Sophie!” you exclaim. “What’s his name? Olaf?”

Despite it being a fairly safe guess, Sophie looks at you like you have two heads.

“No, Mummy, Olaf doesn’t have a hat,” she reminds you very matter-of-factly. “His name is Tom.”

“Like Uncle Tom?” Ben chuckles, referring to his best friend and her godfather.

Sophie seems to contemplate this for a moment before shaking her head.

“No, because I want him to be Tom.”

You and Ben look at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter. You both blame your daughter’s stubbornness on each other, though deep down you know it’s from both of you, but at times like this it’s both hilarious and adorable. 

“Fair enough, sweetie,” you say, bending down to give her a kiss on the forehead. “Now, I think some hot chocolate is in order. Ready to go in?”

“No, we have to make snow angels!”

Of course, this was another activity she had seen in films that she was dying to try for herself. 

“Alright,” you chuckle. “Why don’t we make snow angels while Daddy goes and warms up? He’s been out in the snow all day.”

The pout on Sophie’s face quickly tells you that she is not happy with this plan, and Ben swoops in before you can say anything else.

“I think I have a few snow angels left in me,” he smiles, picking Sophie up and balancing her on his hip. “Babe, can you start the hot chocolate while we finish up here?”

You raise an eyebrow at your husband but accept his proposal nonetheless, placing a quick kiss on both his and Sophie’s cheeks before heading inside. 

As you’re warming up the milk on the stovetop, you look out the window where Ben and Sophie are still playing, her excited giggles loud enough that you can hear her through the windowpane. 

Your heart is threatening to burst from the sweet scene, overflowing with love for your daughter and admiration for your amazing husband. No matter how tired he is from training, if he’s upset about a loss or injured or anything else, he always steps up for Sophie. You’ve known since you met him that he would be a great dad, but ever since you became parents, he’s continued to exceed your expectations.

Just as you’re pouring three steaming mugs of hot chocolate, you hear your family come in through the back door and begin to strip off their winter gear. 

To your delight, Sophie runs straight into the kitchen and hugs you tightly.

“I made five snow angels!” she exclaims as you run your hand up and down her back in an effort to warm her up. “Daddy made some big ones, too.”

“That’s amazing, love,” you smile, kissing her head. “You want some hot chocolate?”

“Yes! Can I put the marshmallows in?”

“Of course,” you say, lifting her up onto the counter and passing her the bag of mini marshmallows.

As much as she’s a daddy’s girl at heart, you also get your fair share of moments when your daughter seems to only want her mother. You know how special her bond is with Ben, and you really can’t blame her for how much she loves spending time with him, but you still cherish the little things that just for the two of you - making hot chocolate with extra marshmallows being one of them. 

You carry the tray of drinks into the living room with Sophie trailing behind, and find Ben already there getting the fireplace going and arranging some pillows and blankets.

“This looks cozy,” you smile, setting the drinks down and sitting on the floor across from him, Sophie following your lead. “Thanks, honey.”

“Thanks for making the hot chocolate, my loves,” Ben responds, glancing over at the tray that holds two regular Christmas mugs and one with the Frozen characters on it. He picks that one up and pretends to take a sip. “I assume this one is mine?”

“No, Daddy, that’s mine!” Sophie squeals, making both you and Ben laugh as he carefully passes it back to her. 

You all sip your drinks in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the warmth of the sweet beverages and the burning fire. 

“So, did you enjoy your first snow, Soph?” Ben asks. “Was it everything you hoped?”

“It was amazing!” Sophie confirms. “Thank you for playing, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome, angel,” Ben says with a soft smile as Sophie climbs into his lap and he kisses her rosy cheeks. 

It’s not long before she drifts off to sleep, tuckered out from playing in the snow and comforted by her dad’s embrace and the sound of you and Ben quietly talking about your days. 

Once she’s fully passed out, Ben carefully shifts her tiny frame over in his arms to make room for you on his other side and beckons you over. With him laying back against the sofa and you now laying against his chest, both of you watching your daughter sleep peacefully, you’re not sure you’ve ever felt more content. 

“That little girl absolutely adores you,” you comment, nuzzling further into Ben’s warmth.

“She must get that from her mum, then,” Ben jokes, making you roll your eyes for a moment before kissing his jaw, then his cheek.

“Mhm,” you nod, smiling as you reach his lips and kiss him slowly. 

When you pull back, Ben gazes lovingly at you for a moment before his eyes return to Sophie, her little hand curling around the material of his hoodie in her sleep.

“Babe?” Ben murmurs, and you nod again. “How would you feel about trying for another one?”

It takes everything in you not to betray yourself with a grin as you think about the tiny Christmas onesie and pregnancy test you boxed up and placed under the tree yesterday while Ben was picking Sophie up from daycare. 

It’s less than a week until Christmas - you can make it that long. 

“Let’s talk about it after the holidays?” you say for now, pressing another kiss to Ben’s lips. 

He nods with a smile, though you can see his mind wandering with thoughts of another little one to play in the snow and curl up by the fire and watching the same movies over and over with. 

It’s been the greatest joy of your life raising Sophie side by side with him, and you absolutely can’t wait to do it all again. 

[fallingtowers]

so i'm watching dollhouse currently, and watching a non-buffyverse whedon joint has got me thinking about the phenomenon of whedonspeak. it's fascinating to me, because there have been plenty of moments in dollhouse where a character has said something patently whedonesque and i've been like :/ ahh yeah i see why people can't stand this style of writing. but on btvs, where the dialogue is generally a lot more heightened than on dollhouse, it really doesn't bother me at all (outside of a handful of really egregious examples).

the big reason for this, i think, and the one i always bring up when i'm defending the dialogue on btvs, is that on btvs it always felt like a tool of characterization. at first blush it may seem like e.g. buffy and willow have very similar voices, but the truth is it's all stylized, but in different ways. and btvs is so good at characterization (a lot better, i would argue, than dollhouse) that by the end of the show you know the characters' voices so well that you can clock it instantly when a line isn't 100% in character. it helps, i think, that btvs is patient zero for this kind of dialogue -- it became an established style of the show, but it wasn't yet an established style of writing in general (note that before it was known as whedonspeak, it used to be called "buffyspeak"). it works well because it's tailored to the tonal sensibilities of btvs, whereas if you just slap it onto any old story it's bound to feel incongruous and grating.

(also, as a sidenote, by and large, btvs knew exactly when to drop the banter. that's another thing -- these days whedonspeak as a concept is so bound up in people's minds [and with good reason!] with that particular brand of annoying mcu-ass ironic storytelling that has to mock itself at every turn for fear of coming across as self-serious. but btvs is a very heartfelt work of art! it [not always, but often] takes the emotions of its characters seriously! when buffy comes home and finds her mom dead on the couch, she doesn't go "well that just happened." you hit a certain threshold of dramatic weight and the whedonspeak falls away.)

there's another reason it's become so pervasive, though, i think, and it's one i kind of sympathize with. it's got to do with the demands of television as a medium. i think modern tv and film is the form of storytelling that has the biggest gulf between Showing and Telling. like, in a novel or a comic or whatever, you can just use narration to shed light on a character's thoughts or plans or whatever, but on screen you don't have that luxury, and these days voiceovers and flashbacks and stuff are generally regarded as being kind of graceless. so you've got Showing, which always runs the risk of being too vague and confusing, and you've got Telling -- and dialogue is really your only method of Telling -- which comes with a whole host of potential pitfalls. it might feel too on-the-nose, or too stiff and contrived. or it might commit the cardinal sin of 21st century entertainment: being Boring.

that's the thing, right. screenwriters are always trying to figure out how to do good exposition. one instance of dialogue i found grating on dollhouse is a scene where echo is dreaming, and the audience needs to be told she understands she's dreaming. so what do you do? in writing, you'd just describe her moment of realization, but on tv you can't do that. so instead, they have echo go, "oookay... i think we can all agree this isn't real." which like, if we view it as an attempt to content with the limitations of the medium, it makes sense! she's alone, so she has no reason to say "this is a dream," so we solve that problem by having her make a little joke to herself. but in practice, it just kind of falls flat.

in conclusion, the art of writing dialogue is one thing and the art of writing exposition is another, and neither is at all easy, and in screenwriting specifically they often dovetail in a particularly torturous way. we're still gonna be trying to figure this out when the sun burns out probably. i certainly don't have an answer. i do have a piece of advice though: watch buffy the vampire slayer. it's really good, and the dialogue is only a little annoying

[stvrdrops]

the american actress pt 1 | pt 2 ☆ shuri x fem!reader

an invitation to the most lavish and private wakandan ball suddenly makes its way into your lap, despite you being only a regular old actress compared to the world leaders who usually attend. could it be the princess invited you herself..? surely not.

warnings : some implicit actions , fluff & cute flirting between the two !

word count : 2,861

note : this is the first shuri fanfic i’ve written after coming back from my terrible writers block so i apologize if it’s not the best lol i’ve just been so obsessed with her lately that i had to write something for her :)

wakanda is a kingdom of utter extravagance. ever since they opened up their walls they had begun throwing lavish balls and galas to keep the countries distracted from stealing vibranium. the world leaders saw it as an elite gala while wakanda saw it as a way to share their wealth without actually sharing. only the most classy and most important of people could even dream about attending the wakandan dances. the most famous of these balls being the wakandan international gala. something so simply named would have to be but a simple event, right? you would be incredibly mistaken. women dressed to the nines while men wore their most expensive designer suits. governors would discuss politics while tribe leaders ate and danced. princesses and daughters of government officials would gossip and flirt with the many men eyeing them down. most importantly, the avengers themselves would attend. they treated the night as one of their many vacation days from work. the black widow would forgo her iconic black suit, captain america would drop the shield for a glass of whiskey, tony stark would still bring his suit but only to show off, thor’s cape became a tuxedo, hawkeye managed to go without his bow, and bruce banner left the green man at home.

this was your first and what you thought to be your last time attending the infamous event. you were certain to be an outlier compared to the world’s most important people. you happened to be just a simple actress. you didn’t sign treaties or protect the universe. all you did was read off a script and perform some stunts for a living. it was safe to say you believed the invitation to be a mistake, but your agent assured you it was not. apparently you had been invited allegedly by someone with high wakandan authority. they had left their identity a mystery which drove you wild. it made you laugh to think the person who invited you was the princess of wakanda, shuri. you happened to form a crush on her some time ago after seeing her on tv discussing world politics. somehow she made the war over vibranium sound sexy and adorable at the same time. which was quite insane.

you often found yourself wondering if the princess had seen any of your movies. she was far too busy to sit down and watch some silly academy nominated films. after all, she was the princess of a whole nation and led only the best scientists all on her own.

you currently stood in front of large doors made purely out of vibranium. it was carved with thousands of little people telling the story of how wakanda was formed. the attention to detail had been nothing short of incredible. it was so incredible, in fact, that your breathing even hitched a little. you had never seen anything quite like that with its craftsmanship. yet again, you hadn’t seen anything quite like wakanda.

the trip to wakanda had been fairly short despite the long distance needing to be traveled. a limo showed up at your quaint loft in nyc right when the invitation said transportation would arrive. after that you were taken to what seemed to be an army base. wakandan jets were lined along as you watched others enter. they went in groups, while you had a jet all of your own. the next thing you knew was arriving in wakanda and standing in front of these doors. everything had happened so quick!

“ehem.”

your gaze shifts from the top of the door to the two women standing on both sides of it. you blushed out of embarrassment, the red on your checks too bright for your brown skin to hide. out of your astonishment you forgot the two women had even been standing there. they oozed poise and bravery. not to mention they were incredibly sexy.

somehow you felt underdressed when you stared at them. they were wearing their normal dora milaje gear, but still it matched the regality of the gala. you looked down at your thousand dollar gown and frowned a little. it had stuck to your body like a glove, showing off every curve. you felt a little self conscious due to the low back and high leg slit. it almost felt too grown for such an event, but your stylist assured you it would be the right choice for the occasion. so maybe you weren’t overdressed, but perhaps just feeling like you didn’t dress for the right kind of gala.

it made you feel so much older than nineteen. the black sparkles shined bright as the lights in the hall hit every single one of them. your dark stilettos positioned you higher than normal, but you were just of the same height as the dora milaje women. your hair had been done up in a bun style updo, showcasing your collarbones and soft neck. the makeup you wore was soft glam, and that was just how you liked it. you knew you were beautiful but the nerves of keeping up appearances was eating you alive.

you move closer to the door and smile to the two women. they do not reciprocate the smile, but you know they would if they could. their training probably prohibited them from doing such things at events like these.

spears hit the ground causing the large vibranium doors to open. it caught you by surprise seeing how easily the moved open despite how much they had to of weighed. once they opened it revealed to you just how many people were truly at this gala.

your eyes land on everyone below and grow wide at the realization that everyone is staring back at you. you even make eye contact with one of the avengers, natasha romanoff. you quickly turn your eyesight away out of embarrassment, however, it’s just your luck that your eyes land right on princess shuri right after. you could feel yourself freezing as a wide smile grew onto her face. she looked happy? like as if she was happy to see you attending.

“introducing y/n y/l/n, the american actress.” a thick accent shouts before the spears hit the ground again.

everyone’s eyes linger on you for a second while you make your way into the room. the doors close suddenly behind you. you can’t help but feel totally exposed. somehow being in front of a million people at a premiere is better than this, because at least you know those people love you.

music fills your ears as you see the band has begun playing again. people go back to normal as the music starts and you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief. you finally allow yourself to go down the stairs without the risk of tripping from your anxiety.

the room looked much smaller from above, but as you’re in the middle of it all you realize the room is quite large. you can’t help but allow your eyes to scan the room as you take in all the lavish decor and beautiful greenery. the walls were covered in flowers and vines native to wakanda. sculptures of panthers made purely out of vibranium lined the walls and the pillars reaching from out of them. dora milaje stood in little doorways towards the top of the walls, watching down on the guests.

the large glass roof allowed for the stars to shine so beautifully on your sparkly dress. it also helped to create the perfect atmosphere as people danced and laughed. it was just the perfect amount of light.

you hadn’t realized you made your way to the bar until someone tapped your shoulder with a sharp nail.

“are you lost?” a sultry voice spoke.

“oh,” you quickly turn yourself around to see the black widow standing in front of you. you find it hard to form the correct words, only saying, “i’m sorry.”

she laughs, “for what?”

“i- i just…” your mouth goes dry, “i guess i don’t know.”

“hm,” she raises a brow, “you’re just as pretty in person as you are in the movies.”

you gasp, “you watch my movies?”

“who doesn’t?” a thick wakandan accent speaks from behind you.

you feel your legs go weak when you recognize who’s voice it was. it couldn’t be, could it? you turn to the side and your eyes land on the princess of wakanda, shuri. she flashes you a charming smile and you can feel your face heat up once again. she’s not that much older than you, but she looked incredibly mature. she didn’t wear a typical dress, instead opting for a suit that had no under shirt. you could see the most modest part of her chest and how toned her collarbones were. it’s almost as if you could see her muscles underneath the suit. shuri could feel you undressing her with your eyes, but said nothing about it.

“you do not mind if i take my guest, do you romanoff?” shuri spoke to natasha while gripping your hand. the russian spy looked down at the hang gripping and then up again.

“not at all.” she said before going back to sipping on her incredibly dark red wine.

“come y/n, i must show you something.” shuri speaks while flashing another smile and dragging you away from the party. you’re far too starstruck to even say anything, only nodding as a response.

you’re lead through the many corridors of the wakandan palace before reaching the least guarded area in the whole place. the doors were white and looked futuristic. you watch as shuri begins to type some password into a keypad.

“you’re the princess”

ugh, you cant believe you’ve said that out loud.

“yes, i am.” she chuckles, “and you’re a famous american actress.”

“why does everyone refer to me as that? i have a name.” you cant help but frown.

“hmm, fine. i will refer to you as y/n, the princess of all american actresses.”

what a stupid nickname, but it sounded so cute coming from her that you couldn’t help but smile. she noticed this and beamed with pride. her little flirting had been working nicely.

“that works.” you joke with her. for the first time tonight you didn’t find yourself feeling anxiety.

“ah! here we are.” shuri speaks as the white door begins to open. it slides from both sides to reveal what seems to be the infamous lab. you don’t have time to register much of anything due to shuri dragging you inside and up some stairs to a ledge. she stops in front of a table covered in different little trinkets and inventions.

“forgive me princess, but what am i supposed to be looking at?”

“hm?” she looks up at you, tearing her gaze away from the table. “oh yes, hold on.”

you watch as she picks through the items.

“to be honest i didn’t know you knew of my existence.”

she laughs and you can feel butterflies forming inside you. your schoolgirl crush on shuri was truly getting worse and worse by every moment you spend with her. surely she could never see you that way though. hell, you didn’t even know if she was into girls.

“i watch every movie of yours. you are quite an incredible actress. which is why i wanted you to test these for me.” she says while handing you what seemed to be a pair of black glasses. they were the exact same frames as ones you wore in your last movie.

shuri sees you raising a brow at this realization and says, “i liked how well they complimented you.”

“i see.” you say as you hear the subtle cockiness in her voice begin to dwell. you couldn’t help but think about how much taller she was even in your heels. so to look up at her with the glasses on made you feel a bit silly. you enjoyed it though.

suddenly words appear in your eyesight. the glasses lenses turn into screens that display what seems to be a script. it tracks what you read and what you haven’t, highlights certain parts of the text for you, and seemingly more. your mouth can’t help but gape open at how cool it all is.

“did you make these?” a stupid question, but you had to ask.

“of course, with you in mind.”

“why me?”

“it gave me a good excuse to get you in my lab, and trust me, i needed to get you in here somehow.”

oh. my. god.

“why wait until this fancy gala?” you blushed as you spoke, still searching through the words on the lenses.

“i just wanted to see you in a pretty dress. i guessed you’d look amazing based off your premiere pics, but somehow it’s so much better in person. you’re so much better in person.”

suddenly you feel her hand resting on your hip. you don’t refuse her, and she can feel you’re enjoying the reaction. she took pleasure in knowing your hairs probably stood up under that tight dress from her finger tips. she lifts the glasses up, allowing for you to make eye contact with her. she was looking at you like you were the only person in the world. she was looking at you as if she wanted to devour you.

how suave.

“you are much shorter in person, but i prefer it this way. much easier to do this.”

“do what—“ you begin to ask, but unable to finish as a gasp escapes from your plump lips. shuri had lifted you up onto the glass table so easily that it caught you by surprise. you swore you could feel your heart beating out of your chest. your body aches for her and she could tell.

her fingers trail up the slit in your dress as you both hold eye contact. she smiles as they slip under the dress, finding your black panties. the space between you two becomes much less by every passing second.

“i should’ve flown you out to wakanda much sooner if i knew you would let me get this far. perhaps even request you film a movie here.”

“a movie? for the wakandans?”

she laughs, “no silly. our own personal movie. one that involves little clothing. i’m sure you’d be a natural at it since it involves no real acting.”

holy shit she’s good.

she leans in while keeping eye contact. you began growing impatient so you grab her face and push your lips into hers. suddenly the space between you is no longer existing. her hands are on your hips as you attempt to chase some kind of high.

shuri takes pleasure in knowing just how fast you crumbled beneath her. you two didn’t even know each other for two hours and here you were grinding yourself into her and the table trying to chase a high.

your hands dug into the curly hair on top of her head as she dove to your exposed neck. her nails dug into your skin when you pulled slightly on the hair. her teeth sank into your neck and you moaned from the contact. it was almost as if she was a vampire with the way she was sucking and biting on you. she just couldn’t get enough of how fruity you had tasted.

you couldn’t help but melt underneath her and turn into a mess as she pushed your legs up. she was incredibly charming and the best kisser you’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing. this certainly isn’t what you had planned for the night, but it would do nicely.

“princess shuri—“

“not,” she came up from your neck and kissing you to speak, “now.”

“but—“

shuri ignored the voice speaking from the walls. you were too busy taking everything in to notice the voice.

“princess shuri!”

a voice booms through the lab and suddenly shuri is pushing herself off of you. you quickly fix your position to keep from falling off of the glass table as you realize someone other than the both of you was in the room.

“okoye, how many times have i told you to not enter when the doors are shut?!”

the woman only raises a brow as she looks between you and the princess. you give a weak but embarrassed smile. her expression drops into a slight smile when she sees shuri’s hand still on your waist.

“i apologize to break up whatever this is, but the queen is requesting your presence.”

shuri sighs, “i better not keep mother waiting.” she looks back at you and attempts to hide a smile from seeing how flustered you look, “i will be back. do not move a muscle!”

you can only find it in yourself to nod your head, already missing how good it felt to have her lips on your neck.

she hurries after okoye and the doors to the lab open.

“must you have sex in the lab?”

“we were not going to have sex okoye!”

“lying is not good for the soul shuri.”

“hmph. you know how long i’ve been crushing on her.”

“oh yes, you never shut up about her last movie. such a lover girl aren’t you? at least take the girl out on a date first.”

“maybe i will.” shuri states in a matter of fact manner.

the doors shut cutting off the conversation to you. however, you heard all you needed to hear, a smile spreading across your lips.

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike! Can you talk about your experience going from Absentia to Oculus? That process after Absentia went on its festival run to pitching Oculus? Would love to learn about that time in your life & career!

I moved to Los Angeles in 2003, right after I graduated college. I went to Towson University in Maryland, was an EMF major (Electronic Media & Film) and had wanted nothing more than to make movies my whole life. We were a comfortable middle class military family (my dad was in the Coast Guard) and for most of my life, making movies for a living felt like an impossible dream.

When I moved to LA I took whatever work I could find. I shot and edited those local car commercials you see on TV at 2am, I was a logger and an AE for reality TV shows, and I eventually worked my way to editing.

I said I'd give myself 5 years to make it in Hollwood. By the time we shot Absentia, I'd been here for 7 years, and in that time I hadn't gotten any closer to my dream.

I've already written at length about how Absentia came along and what it was like to make that little movie, and I've recently blogged about how the Oculus premiere changed my life and birthed my career, so I won't rehash those - but I don't often talk about what went on in between.

I finished editing Absentia just before my oldest son was born in 2010, and went back to working full-time as a reality TV editor. In fact, in the months leading up to his birth, I was working double-time - I spent my days at a company called Film Garden working on a series for DIY Network, and my nights editing packages at Nash Entertainment for those true crime clip shows. Whatever it took to keep the lights on and provide as much support as I could for my son.

While this was happening, I'd submitted Absentia to a pile of film festivals. We didn't get into any of the majors - Sundance, SXSW, and Toronto all passed on the film. Our world premiere was at the Fargo Film Festival, where Tom Brandau, one of my former professors from Towson - and one of my mentors - was teaching.

(Our original festival poster, WAY better than the weird clip art that would come later)

The movie got into a fair amount of film festivals, and we traveled with it as much as we could. I have fond memories of the Phoenix Film Festival, San Luis Obispo (where I met Greg Kinnear at a party and very awkwardly asked for a picture - you can see how thrilled he is about it) and my personal favorite: the Fantastia Film Festival in Montreal.

(At one of the screenings, I believe the San Luis Obispo Film Festival)

While this was happening, the film was picked up for a tiny VOD and DVD release through Phase 4 Films.

They were a Canadian distribution company whose claim to fame was putting out Kevin Smith's Red State under a very unusual distribution model. They acquired the movie, which led to a company holiday part in Hollywood.

There, I briefly met Kevin Smith for the first time. We've met again since, and I've now had a chance to thank him for the kindness he showed me back then - I was just some starstruck kid at a party, but he was gracious and available and inspiring. I really admire the way Kevin deals with his fans, and I've tried to emulate it over the years.

So that was kind of it for Absentia. We went to a few festivals, went to a few parties, and posed for a few pictures with some people we admired. Phase 4 designed some truly godawful cover art, dropped the movie into video stores, and that was that.

($2.99 is a pretty good deal)

So Absentia had pretty much run its course. It had a passionate following of fans, but between the crappy art design and glut of low budget horror films on the market, its moment had already come and gone. I was back at work, editing a series for DIY Network called Extra Yardage, and yearning for another chance to make a movie.

Absentia might not have broken open the industry doors like I'd wanted it to, but one thing it did yield was a meeting with an entertainment attorney named Joel VanderKloot.

I had been represented a few times over the years by various managers (to be honest, they were actually Jeff Howard's managers, and they took me on because we had a co-written project together.) But those relationships hadn't gone anywhere, I'd never sold a script or booked a job, and when I suggested making Absentia they were not supportive ("You've already tried the indie thing, haven't you?") so by the time Absentia was made, I was completely unrepped.

Joel was a family friend of Jason Poh, who was one of our Absentia Kickstarter backers. He was a guy who'd just found the project online and donated a thousand bucks. He kept up with us, and loved the final movie. He told me he knew an entertainment lawyer and offered to arrange a lunch.

I left my editing job at Film Garden for a long lunch and met Joel in Santa Monica (this was a day-killing drive for me). Joel had seen the movie and really liked it. We had a good lunch, but wasn't immediately sure about taking me on - it's a lot of work to take on a new client, and there wasn't much heat on my movie. But there was something there that he liked, and he called later that day to say he would take me on as a client.

I was elated. I felt like I'd made my movie to the best of my ability, and that it had flashed in the pan and then died... no one had noticed outside of a few festival audiences and critics. But here was someone who worked in the industry and he saw something in the film that he believed in.

Joel started looking for managers while I clung to my day job. He passed the movie around and we had a few nibbles, which led to the first manager in my career who wanted to simply represent ME: Nicholas Bogner.

Bogner went about setting general meetings at production companies who specialized in horror films. There weren't a lot of takers, and not everyone was willing to watch an entire feature film in consideration of a general meeting. So it was hit or miss - I was a nobody, after all, and they get these kinds of incoming inquiries all the time.

But there were a few takers. And the very first meeting I had was with Anil Kurian at Intrepid Pictures.

Again, I took an extended lunch from my editing job and drove across town to Intrepid's offices in Santa Monica. I was beyond nervous when I sat in the waiting room. The young man working the front desk signed me in and offered me a water. And then, just before the meeting started, he leaned over and he said "I loved Absentia, by the way."

Anil was a really cool executive and we had a good general meeting. At the end of it, he introduced me to the heads of Intrepid: Marc Evans, and Trevor Macy.

We all ended up in the conference room, where posters for Intrepid's other movies - at that time, The Strangers and The Raven - were hanging. I vividly remember staring at them while I pitched all five of the ideas I had for movies.

One of them was a story about a little boy whose dreams manifested in real life, and another was a take on Stephen King's novel Gerald's Game. But at the time, none of these ideas worked. The meeting was over, and everyone was politely going about their day.

I felt a panic in me. It was my first real meeting, the door had been cracked open just an inch by Absentia, and I was about to walk away with nothing. Would my new manager want to keep me? Would my new lawyer think he was wasting his time?

I stopped in the doorway and turned back. "I've got one other thing," I said. "I made a short years ago about a haunted mirror, and I have a take for a feature."

They kind of laughed at the idea of a haunted mirror. "How do you make that scary?" Trevor asked. I said "Think of it like a portable Overlook Hotel," and the room got a little quieter.

"I'd like to see that short," Trevor said. I agreed to send it immediately.

I ran back to work, stayed a few hours late to make up the time I'd burned on my lunch hour, and went home to find a DVD copy of Oculus: The Man with the Plan.

I'd made that short in 2005. It was 20 mins long, and a lot of fun. Over the years whenever I'd get into meetings (all courtesy of Jeff Howard, who had sold scripts long before we started writing together), people would see it and ask about a feature. Every time, though, the conversation stalled because they wanted the film to be a found footage movie, or they'd balk at the idea of me directing a feature.

I sent the DVD to Intrepid and waited. About a week later, they called and asked me to come back in.

I took another long lunch (this would become quite a habit as the project advanced) and drove back down. We met again in the conference room, but this time the mood was a little different.

Trevor said "We're interested in this. How would you expand it? I know there are cameras in the room with the man and the mirror, which begs the question of found footage..."

My heart sank.

"... but we're thinking that's a mistake. It looks like all the fun is in playing with reality, and you can't do that with found footage. So how would you do it?"

And we were off.

I won't rehash the long journey between this meeting and the Oculus premiere at Toronto (scroll down to find another blog about that), but that was really the moment when things changed.

I drove back to work a little giddy. Intrepid optioned the short film, I called Jeff Howard to see if he'd still want to work on a feature with me, and we were commissioned to write the script.

It was my first Hollywood job. I was paid the bare minimum, but I was also able to join the WGA because of the deal. I still didn't quit my day job (and wouldn't for a long time, not until the movie was really shooting in Alabama the following year) but I was off to the races.

Once the script was done, Oculus would lead to my first agents (at APA, and they treated me very well) and my first "real" movie.

What's particularly neat about this time, looking back, is that I owe it all to Absentia. We'd made this tiny little movie to try to kick open the door of Hollywood and start a career. And despite the enormous pride I had in the finished film, it felt for a long time like it hadn't quite succeeded in that.

But quietly, subtly, the movie did exactly what I hoped it would. The festival screenings built up a small but confident word of mouth. The movie led directly to my attorney Joel (who still represents me to this day), which led directly to my first real representation, which led directly to Intrepid Pictures.

Trevor Macy is now my business partner and has produced every single thing I've ever made since. We run Intrepid Pictures together, and I see that same eagerness in the faces of young filmmakers who find their way to us for general meetings. I try to be as supportive and accessible to them as I possibly can, because I remember very well what it feels like to stand in their shoes.

And Trevor even ended up making those other pitches he'd rejected all those years ago - Before I Wake and Gerald's Game followed soon after Oculus was done.

Absentia did everything I could have wanted it to do, and much more. I'll always remember that period of time with great affection... but man, it was stressful. The uncertainty of those years still exists in me, I don't think it'll ever leave.

Someone told me, along the way, that there wouldn't be a moment when I realized I "made it." It would happen while I wasn't looking. That ended up being absolutely true.

[lightyaoigami]

welcome to my long promised grief media master post! my credentials: card carrying member of the dead dads club. i chose the books, tv, and movies based on vibes alone and i was guided by divine vision. possible spoilers below the cut.

Books

Catcher in the Rye

I was only thirteen, and they were going to have me psychoanalyzed and all, because I broke all the windows in the garage. I don’t blame them. I really don’t. I slept in the garage the night he died, and I broke all the goddam windows with my fist, just for the hell of it. It was a very stupid thing to do, I’ll admit, but I hardly didn’t even know I was doing it and you didn’t know Allie.

The Goldfinch

And what would I do? Part of me was immobile, stunned with despair, like those rats that lose hope in laboratory experiments and lie down in the maze to starve. I tried to pull my thoughts together. For a while, it had almost seemed that if I sat still enough, and waited, things might straighten themselves out somehow. Objects in the apartment wobbled with my fatigue: halos shimmered around the table lamp; the stripe of the wallpaper seemed to vibrate.

Hard Boiled and Hard Luck

Sometimes you go back again to the place you’ve just come from, stop and close your eyes, and realize that not a second has passed, and time just leaves you there, stranded, in the darkness.

The Fellowship of the Ring

I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.

The Stranger

 At that time, I often thought that if I had had to live in the trunk of a dead tree, with nothing to do but look up at the sky flowing overhead, little by little I would have gotten used to it. 

Life of Pi

I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart.

TV Shows

Severance

the grief and loss show of all time. 10/10. don't look it up just watch.

Euphoria

i like this show because it depicts someone whose life just sucks after their dad dies. like she just becomes a worse person with a more unhappy life. real!

Never Have I Ever

people hate this show because the main character is a nasty little pill but i hate to tell you that that is literally what happens when you lose a loved one unexpectedly and traumatically. sorry.

Movies

Eternal Sunshine

captures the surreal nature of forgetting someone you love(d) and knowing exactly what's happening despite being powerless to stop it.

Menashe

truly beautiful and moving film about the utter listlessness of life after loss. if you have ever felt unmoored, this movie is for you. one of the most beautiful soundtracks ever, too.

The Farewell

people were weird about this movie but the final scene where billie is being driven away from her nainai's house is one of the realest things i can remember seeing in a recent movie.

Games

Disco Elysium

just play it. don't look anything up about it just play it immediately.

Life is Strange

people found the dialogue in this stilted but this scene (spoilers) is so true to life especially for the early 2010s.

Comics

for unknown reasons this panel of calvin mourning a raccoon that he found is the ultimate expression of grief - the horror and resignation and dissonance are captured so well in his sunken eyes. i think about this all the time.

[crescent-dreams]

Creator's Corner - NoProbllama92

How did you become a fan of the Inuyasha fandom?

I've loved Inuyasha since the days of Adult Swim in the early 2000s, when I was still in middle school. It was the second anime I ever got into (after Sailor Moon). However, I didn't start reading Inuyasha fanfiction until 2021 and writing until 2023.

What are your favourite fanfic tropes as a writer?

Soulmates, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Enemies to Lovers, and smut, of course. There's just something about a good love story that I find hard to resist.

And as a reader?

Same as above, really. I just really love love, y'know? And I love reading about my favorite characters falling in love. Though, I always need to have a happy ending, too!

Which work of yours is your personal favourite? The one you are most proud of?

Hmm, so far, I'm really proud of "in a barbie world". It was such a fun fic to write, though "the second hand unwinds" is a very close second. It's my baby, so I imagine in the end, it'll take first place.

Which SessKag fanfiction of another author is your go-to choice for a great read?

"Transgressions" by @wbficaholic. I can't hype this fic enough. It's the perfect combination of smut, romance, humor, and angst with a happy ending, and I tend to reread it often.

What makes a good story?

Character development, but also world-building. I love to be able to close my eyes and see the scenes play out in my head. 

Is there anything you need while writing? Snacks? Music? A comfy blanket?

My playlists and noise-canceling earbuds, a hot cup of green tea, and my computer. I do my best work when I can block out the world.

How do you get your ideas? In your dreams? In the shower?

Usually, they come to me when I'm lying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep—which then means I never actually get to sleep because I'm too busy planning things out in my mind. Sometimes inspiration will come from a song that's stuck in my head, or maybe a movie or a TV show. My Barbie fic, for instance, came to me when I came across the VHS case for the film "Life-Size".

If you could meet an Inuyasha character, what would you tell them?

Kagome—girl, aim higher. You deserve so much more than to feel like second best. Also, there's a certain daiyoukai lord who would surely treat you like the treasure you are. 

As a writer, what would your spirit animal be?

The llama (or alpaca), naturally.

What is your kryptonite as a writer?

I struggle the most with dialogue and having confidence in my work. I'm really introverted, so conversations don't come all that easily for me, and I think that's what causes me the most anxiety. Does this flow well? Is it a natural progression? Would the characters actually say something like this? I also tend to second-guess myself a lot and hesitate when it actually comes to hitting the post button.

What advice would you give someone who wants to start writing?

The easiest way to begin writing is to read read read. Find your style, develop your voice, and let your ideas flow. Write what you want to write, not what you think other people will want to read. You are your number one audience.

You can find @noprobllama92 on Ao3 and Tumbl!! And please check out our Creator’s Corner Masterlist for all our past creators!

[sheena-isa-punkrocker]

Miguel Ángel Félix Gallardo Fluff Alphabet

warning: reader's gender is not specifically stated but is hinted to be female in some paragraphs

A = Activities (What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

Miguel likes to spend quality time with you, period. After a long day at his office, he likes to come home to you sitting on the couch, watching tv. There he can lay his head in your lap or chest as you comb your fingers through his dark tresses, listening to him vent about the day or him listening about how your day was. He also likes doing small domestic tasks with you, helping you cook and washing the dishes afterwards. After dinner, when he can, he likes cuddling on the sofa while a movie is playing. He enjoys seeing your reactions to whatever the film plot is, your surprised gasps, your jokes about how dumb the main characters are, your predictions on who the murderer is, it’s all very fun for him to watch.

Miguel was never much of a swimmer before he met you, and really the huge pool in the yard was used for parties anyways. But one night you convinced him to take a late night swim with you. Swimming in the cool water during hot summer nights, the stars shining above you both, you playfully splashing him before he grabs you and gives a tickle to your side… Yes, he enjoys swimming now.

B = Beauty (What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?)

Miguel greatly admires your high intelligence. Having deep conversations about life, your lives before the cartel, business strategies, his plans for your future together, the fact that he can talk about anything and everything and be completely understood by you is what makes you different from everyone else for him. It's what drew him to you since the first day you met. Your charismatic humor is also something he admires. Miguel can get stuck in his own head often, pulling him into a darker headspace. It’s your humor and lively attitude that pulls him out of that mentality and he’s forever grateful for it.

C = Comfort (How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

The minute Miguel senses that you are feeling melancholic, he’s willing to stop everything he’s doing, pull you aside and have you sit on his lap while he listens to you vent it all out. He’ll rub your back, hold you close and press soft kisses to your hair to calm you down. It physically pains him to see you in any kind of distress. He wishes he could protect you from these emotions even though he knows it’s futile. Anything you need to feel better, consider it done, he only wants the best for you. But oftentimes you both just sit and hold each other until you feel better.

D = Dreams (How do they picture their future with their s/o?)

A life without you is a life not worth living in his mind. He can’t imagine you not being next to him. Waking up next to you cuddled to his side in your shared bed, cooking dinner with you at night, spending weekend getaways at the beach together when he can, meeting your eyes and instantly smiling as he sees you across the dance floor at a party. Your soft touch, your unending support, your laugh, he can’t imagine being without you at all. While he continues to grow his cartel empire, the one thing that keeps him going is the fact that he’ll be coming home to you, his vida, every night.

E = Equal (Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?)

Surprisingly, he likes an equal partnership in his romantic relationship. Miguel admires that you are a strong, independent individual that has no problem voicing their own ideas or opinions. While he is naturally dominant in both his cartel organization and in private, he appreciates how you take charge of your own daily life and business. He also trusts your judgment on how you run your shared household. He enjoys having a partner that is on his level like that. Definite power couple vibes with him.

F = Fight (Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?)

Actual fights don’t really happen between you both. There have been some disagreements, but they are easily resolved when you both sit down and talk it out with each other. If a fight does happen it’s never because of you or what you did, it comes from a place of fear. Miguel lives a dangerous lifestyle, one where anyone could easily come and harm him or worse, you. And that scares him. So if you come home late from work without calling him, he’s not upset at you, he was just scared for your well being. After reassuring him that you are alive and okay, holding each other close, he’ll calm down.

G = Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

He doesn’t know what he did to deserve you, his rock, his support, his life, his soul, his everything. Truly he is grateful for everything that you do. He knows that he would be emotionally lost without your influence on him. You keep him grounded in reality. The other cartel members also like to remind him how lucky he is to have you in his life and that it’s a miracle how you put up with his antics all the time. Miguel can’t help but agree with them.

H = Honesty (Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

On the whole, yes he shares most things. Miguel has put his complete trust in you and feels safe enough in your private conversations that he feels he can talk about anything with you. However, there will always be a few things where he’s deemed too dangerous for you to know and will keep that information secret. It’s for your protection, really. It comes with the territory of being with a drug lord.

I = Inspiration (Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helping them overcome personal problems?)

Congrats, you single handedly wormed your way into Miguel Ángel Félix Gallardo’s life and changed him from being a lonely businessman haunted by his past to a loving, committed partner that’s willing to sacrifice anything for you. You’ve supported him in his darkest times, showed him that he wasn’t the monster that he believed himself to be. That he deserved happiness in his life no matter the things he’s done in the past. That he was capable of love again. God, you are literally the light of his life. And in return Miguel has always accepted you as you are, provided anything you needed or wanted, has kept you safe from harm, made efforts to spend quality time with you without fail. In his mind the least he can do is give you the world.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

Miguel is pretty secure in your relationship. He knows that you’re quite attractive looking and charming and that will make anyone become interested in you, he doesn’t blame them. He puts his complete trust in you that you’ll never stray. If anything, he might be jealous when you spend time with your friends solely for the fact that they can see you freely without complications unlike him. 

There was one time where Miguel saw you and Pacho Herrera dancing together at one of the Cali Gang’s parties and was a little annoyed about it. You told him Pacho was gay, he felt embarrassed after that.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?)

Miguel Ángel is the best kisser. The way he pours all his love into one kiss, leading to a super passionate make out. How he cradles your back, holding you close in his arms as you return his affections. Or when he delicately holds your face in his hands as he presses besitos all over your face because you’re just too cute. How he knows exactly when to give you sensually slow kisses versus rough make outs during more intimate times. Oh yeah, Miguel knows what he’s doing, and he goes all in when he does. 

Your first kiss was on your first date. You two had previously met at plaza parties multiple times and developed somewhat of a friendship that developed into romantic feelings as you continued talking over the phone. One day he showed up at your house near dinner time which led to having a cute dinner date. You both had been feeling strongly for each other for some time by that point. Miguel was cleaning the dishes while you were drying them, he commented on how nice the dinner was and how he loved spending time with you. You shyly expressed similar feelings. One thing led to another and he sweetly kissed you right there in your small kitchen.

L = Love Confession (How would they confess to their s/o?)

Actually, you both said ‘I love you’ at the same time. While you were dating, Miguel liked to spend the night at your house and leave for work in the morning. He wished he could spend the whole day with you and there were a few times where he did, but his busy schedule prevented it mostly. One morning while he was getting ready to leave, you hugged each other while saying your goodbyes. “Adiós, mi amor, te quiero…” It just tumbled out of your mouths with ease. Miguel was stunned for a second, as were you, but his eyes softened and he proceeded to give you the most loving kiss he could place on your soft lips.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?)

Yes, Miguel wants to marry you someday. He wants to be wholly committed to you and only you, he’s a secret romantic like that but shh don’t tell anyone. One would think that Miguel would go all out for a proposal and throw a huge surprise party full of people so he can formally ask you in front of everyone but that wasn’t the case. He wanted the proposal to just be you and him. He had organized a weekend vacation for you both at a private beach in Puerto Vallarta. However, Miguel wasn’t really sure when he would pop the question during the trip. You could tell something was off about him for sure, but brushed it off as something work related. After spending the day at the beach and a fancy private dinner he still hadn’t popped the question. It wasn’t that Miguel had cold feet or anything, he really wanted to marry you, he just wanted the moment to be absolutely perfect. It wasn’t until he saw you on your hotel balcony, looking up at the stars in the beautiful night sky in your satin night gown, that he thought “Fuck it” and joined you. As he gently held your hands in his he expressed his undying love for you, how you are his other half in not only this life but in all lifetimes, thankful that you have supported him through all aspects of life, been with him through thick and thin and how he wants to spend the rest of his life by your side, if you’ll have him? The happiness you saw in his eyes as he looked up at you when you said yes is forever ingrained in your memory. And of course, the rock was huge.

N = Nicknames (What do they call their s/o?)

His favorite nickname for you is mi vida, because you are literally his life-line in this crazy world. Mi alma is another one he uses for the same sentiment. There 's also: mi tesoro, mi precioso, bebe, querido, cariño, hermosa, mi corazón, the list could go on for him.

O = On Cloud Nine (What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

Miguel thought he could hide his true feelings for you at the beginning. He’s one to deny he has any romantic feelings or thoughts until someone (Neto) sits him down and helps him face the facts. See, Miguel thought he wasn’t being obvious by always making sure he called you every day, sending you expensive yet thoughtful gifts, stopped seeing other women, and going on dates with you but it was clear as day to everyone around him that he was deeply in love from the start. 

Once Miguel accepted that he wanted to spend his life by your side, everything else felt easy. It felt easy to let you into his life, to want you near him all the time, to spoil you with gifts, to take walks with you in your backyard garden, to kiss you in front of a party full of drug lords and their sicarios. It felt easy to put his all in everything he did because his love for you fueled him.

P = PDA (Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?)

It’s obvious to everyone who you are to Miguel. They don’t miss the softening of his eyes whenever he looks at you. The small smile he has on his lips as he watches you interact with others at parties. How you always show up to events with him consistently while everyone else’s plus one is paid to be there. In public, Miguel will hold your hand or the small of your back. In private though? Miguel is more comfortable being a cuddle bug. Wrapped up in each other's limbs on the couch. Hugging you from behind as you fix his cafécito for him. Swaying side to side as you dance together in the kitchen while your favorite album is playing on the stereo. Sitting on his lap in his office as you both look at his documents and strategize together. You two are on each other like velcro in private.

Q = Quirk (Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship)

Miguel loves your cooking, so much so that he can differentiate it between the household cook’s. He swears he can feel your love through the ingredients or something, you playfully swatted his shoulder for being cheesy.  If he could have your cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner, he would but due to both your work schedules, he’ll just settle for dinner. But really, he prefers your cooking above anyone else’s. You’ve tried to trick him by saying the cook made conchas one morning instead of you but he figured you out. "¿Estás segura, cariño? Porque estos saben como los tuyos". And with a smug look on his face too.

R = Romance (How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

Miguel is an old school romantic. You’ll be taken out to fancy dinners, have flowers delivered to you, he’ll put his jacket across your shoulders if you mention you’re a bit cold, always makes sure he’s in between you and the road when walking down the sidewalk, opens doors for you, etc., etc. He’s a real gentleman like that. Miguel is open to hearing any new romantic ideas you have, though. Whether it’s a new restaurant you want to visit, a cute couple game you two can play in bed together (maybe it’s a fun sexy game for more intimate sessions), or a simple night in which you’re eating pizza in your pajamas, Miguel is open to your suggestions. He likes how creatively you think.

S = Support (Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?)

He is extremely supportive of you. If you have a dream of opening your own business, he’ll help you with anything you need for it, including financially. If you preferred to build your own business from the ground up without his help? No problem, he would still celebrate your accomplishments with you without fail. Miguel is not only financially supportive of you, but he is greatly emotionally supportive. He loves to hear you talk passionately about your interests, whether it be a new tv show you like or a hobby you’ve picked up recently. He’s so proud of you when you succeed in any personal goals you set for yourself. 

T = Thrill (Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?)

Miguel can get stuck in his routines, especially since he is always strategizing about his cartel. But that’s where you come in. He needs someone like you to check up on him and remind him to take care of himself because when left to his own devices he’ll forget. You’re usually the one to suggest small getaways or stay at home dates, trying out new things together. Miguel likes hearing the new ideas you come up with, he thinks they’re refreshing.

U = Understanding (How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

Miguel knows you better than you know yourself, and you can say the same about him. Your relationship with each other is one of complete understanding of one another. He knows your ins and outs, you know his good and bad sides. He can take a good guess on what your opinion on a certain topic is before you can express it. You can tell from the way he stares off into space that a lot is on his mind. He can pick up when you’re having a down day and need to vent about it. One shared look between you can make giggles erupt from your chests. It’s almost scary how in sync you two are to the other cartel members. They swear you’ve achieved telepathy somehow.

V = Value (How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

Miguel places an extremely high importance on you and your relationship. You are his alma and his vida after all. Perhaps some of the other narcos thought that your relationship would be a fleeting romance in the beginning but they were so wrong. After spending several years together, you can honestly say your relationship with Miguel has only grown stronger. Sure the cartel is his priority, but you are the true love of his life and nothing can replace you.

W = Wild Card (A random Fluff Headcanon)

He likes picking outfits with you. When he has time during the morning he likes to ask your opinion on what suit he’ll wear that day. You joke that before he met you he only wore gray and black suits and now he has a few more colors in his wardrobe. He’ll tease that it’s because you make his life more colorful. Miguel has a pretty good idea of what clothing looks best on you, still needs to work on what colors you prefer though. Loves buying you jewelry to match your dresses and shirts. You’ve found that Miguel loves wearing the cuff-links you bought him for his birthday. It’s like he’s carrying you around with him wherever he goes, along with the necklace you gave him when you first started dating. When going to events together, he likes that you help coordinate your outfits together. Not super match-y but it’s obvious that you two are a unit. Trying on different dresses can lead to more sexual moments as well, which you both clearly enjoy.

X = XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

In your own home, yes he is exceptionally affectionate. Miguel is all up for cuddling on the couch together to watch a mindless tv show. Entangling your legs together, your head on his chest, his hand stroking up and down your back as you play with the fingers on his other hand, him pressing a soft kiss to your hair every so often. That’s heaven to him. He’s one to sneak up and wrap his arms around your waist while you’re busy cooking, his head resting on your shoulder as you ask him to taste test the caldo de res you’re making. Or the times when you’re both taking a walk in a park at night together, hand in hand, and he just brings your hand to his lips for a sweet kiss. Or when he’s driving you to a surprise destination for a mini getaway together, and he gently places his hand on your thigh, giving tender squeezes now and then to let you know he loves you.  

Y = Yearning (How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?)

There’s always a level of wistfulness that Miguel experiences daily when he’s at his hotel office and you’re at work or home. He wishes you could be with him all the time, the velcro couple that you are. But he knows it’s not realistic or helpful to be near you all the time. This is why he really looks forward to going home and spending the rest of the evening and night with his favorite person in the world. He’ll call to check up on you at times if he’s really missing you that day, just to hear your voice. 

The yearning is worse when he’s out of town. Then he’ll be calling you every night to ask you how your day was, sometimes he vents about the business deal he has going on, you’ll ask him to describe the city he’s in at the moment and he’ll gladly paint a picture for you with his words. Miguel will keep talking on the phone with you until you both are falling asleep while still on the line.

Z = Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

The answer is obvious at this point, yes. Miguel Ángel Félix Gallardo is willing to go above and beyond for you. He always has his most trusted men watching after you for your protection, anything you need or want he’s willing to provide, if at any point you need to vent about something he’ll stop everything to sit and listen.  You do a lot for him, and he knows it. His way of returning the favor so to speak is by putting his all in your relationship. Miguel knew he was a goner when he fell in love with you and he hasn’t had any regrets about it since. You are the light of his world, his favorite person, his best friend, his confidant, his vida, his alma, los latidos de su corazón, his everything.

[mosneakers]

The spirit of Agnes and Coraleye enter the elegant Sunset Valley estate. Vintage melodies from a record player swirl, enveloping Coraleye in a sense of nostalgia that she had only known from classic romance films up until this moment.

Agnes: Welcome home, darling. 230 Redwood Parkway, fondly known as "August Moon" by some.

Coraleye: Wow, that's such a magical name. This home is breathtaking, Grandma!

Agnes: It's always been my envisioned haven for raising children. Coraleye: And you owned it? Even while you lived in Moonlight Falls? Who took care of it when you weren't here?

Agnes: My sister, Cornelia, tended to her in my absence. This home held a special place in my heart, and she, understanding its significance, made occasional upgrades, just in case we ever decided to sell. Or, perhaps... return.

Coraleye: Return? As in move back? Agnes: Come, dear. Looks like dinner is finished, and now we're clearing up. I want you to hear this conversation.

As they step into the kitchen, tension hangs thick in the air. Erik diligently washes the dishes while Agnes busies herself preparing ingredients for tomorrow's meals. Neither utter a word, until Agnes finally breaks the silence.

Agnes: Erik, I... I must apologize for snapping at you during dinner. That was quite unwarranted. You were right—I ought to have shared the news with you about the fire. I know the Seymour house was so dear to your heart. It was for me, too. I hope you're not angry with me.

Erik: Ain't mad at ya, Aggy. Gee, I suppose I overreacted too. It's not just about the house; I can live without that. My decent paying job in Moonlight Falls, no chance nobody here'll pay the same. Cost of living's a lot higher, and...well, I've been hoping you'd eventually come 'round to having another baby with me, honey...

Coraleye: [eyes misting] Grandpa really wanted another baby, didn't he? Agnes: [Smiles fondly] Oh yes. But I was quite stubborn. Coraleye: I think Janie mentioned a bit about the fire being the reason for you moving back here. Did you figure out how it happened? Agnes: No, we never did. But the Crumplebottom Sisters informed me that it destroyed everything. Even their great powers couldn't reverse the damage. I had planned to tell Erik, but Belinda beat me to it with a telephone call.

Agnes: [Continuing with Erik] You know I've always said that I'm content with our two. Erik: I know baby, I've just had my fingers crossed one day you'd change your mind. Just a pipe dream, that's all. Agnes: [Sighs] Well, darling... We'll need to sort through our finances. It seems you might just be getting your way, after all...

Erik: What are you telling me, woman? Agnes: It's still early yet to, but... I find myself a tad late.

Erik: Late for tea and crumpets with the ladies at the country club, or are we talking more along the lines of a bun in the oven? Agnes: It could be. Again, it's still very early. Just three days.

Erik joyfully sweeps Agnes into his arms, twirling her as they share a tender kiss. A soft giggle escapes Agnes's lips.

Erik: Aggy baby, you make me the luckiest man to ever live or die!

Coraleye's heart swells with emotion as she witnesses her great-grandfather express his unconditional love for Agnes with such passion and honesty. They follow the Darling pair into the living area to join the girls, particularly Gwendolyn, who are engrossed in the television.

Coraleye: Gosh, look at how you two lovebirds are gazing at each other. TV not holding your attention much, is it? [Grins]

Agnes: Well, I've always preferred books. [Smiles] The television often broadcasted troubling news, especially that year when the government confirmed the existence of aliens. I made the children turn it off promptly if I heard any talk of extraterrestrials.

Coraleye quickly averts eye contact, wondering how much Agnes knows about the current state of the world, particularly Sunglo, his abduction, and how those events resulted in the birth of his beloved daughter.

Knowing her great-grandmother's well-documented phobia centered around extraterrestrials, Coraleye opts to change the subject for the time being.

Coraleye: Hey, Grandma? How did you and Grandpa know to bring the family photos along on your trip to Sunset Valley? Most people don't bring all their family photos on vacations.

Agnes: [Grins] My, I did say you were observant, didn't I? Coraleye: Well, astute. But yes. I hope to land a career in journalism, just like Grandpa! Agnes: [Nods approvingly] A journalist in the making, just like your Grandpa. No, the decision to take the photos along was merely a coincidence. Like you heard your Grandfather say, I make him "the luckiest man to ever live or die!"

[onpurposeilovehimonpurpose]

Get to Know Me!

Tagged by @rockingtheorange

Last song: Mi Gente - J. Balvin & Willy William 🎶 From my playlist, because I'm not counting "If I Loved You" by Vagabond even though my tv happens to be playing that scene right now.

Last film: Red, White & Royal Blue because I'm currently watching it as usual. (but if I have to choose one that isn't that... Oh yeah, I introduced my mom to The Beat Beneath My Feet a couple of days ago. A non-Nick movie? Probably Barbie in the theater months ago.

Currently reading: "Rojo, Blanco y Sangre Azul" by Casey McQuiston

Currently watching: It's a theme here. I'm watching "Red, White & Royal Blue", to be specific, it's the museum scene.

Currently consuming: queso and chips

Currently craving: strawberry milkshake

Were you named after anyone?

No, and I suppose in a way, I named myself.

When was the last time you cried?

While I was writing a fic today, there are just some things that my characters must go through, but I go through it with them.

Do you have kids?

No, but I am a very proud aunt.

What sports do you play/have you played?

I've played many, none of them well though. My favorite was something I haven't played since junior high called "Volley Tennis", it was so fun.

Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, but I try to tone it down, though it's a go-to defense and a go-to ice breaker that I probably use way too often.

What's the first thing people notice about you?

Usually that I look much younger than I actually am? Because it seems to be a thing that always comes up a few minutes into a conversation? I think anyway. I honestly am not sure though.

What's your eye color?

Green, but maybe more like a sea glass green.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all day! But oh please give me truly understandable angst and slow burn first.

Any talents?

I believe I'm a talented writer and baker, maybe I have some other ones, but I'm not sure anymore what they are as mostly those are the things I do most often.

Where were you born?

Chicago

What are your hobbies?

I have so many, maybe too many. Writing, reading, arts & crafts, building miniatures, going to SPN cons, collecting RWRB books in all languages available, singing, listening to music, road trips, watching baking shows.... probably a lot more.

Do you have any pets?

Right now, I have one dog. But it hurts to say that because I will always have more than that in my heart.

How tall are you?

1.67m

Favorite subject in school?

Art, because that was my reprieve from the otherwise hellish experience. Even if I wasn't good at it, it never mattered to my teacher.

Dream job?

I would like to be a published author who makes enough money not to do anything else but write. Or, I would like to work in the film industry as the person who organizes and keeps track of props and clothing. I've heard so many different titles for that role, so I won't be specific, lol. I just love organizing and doing that job would be awesome.

I'm tagging @radberryz @didsomeonesaybuffet @poisonfayri @sunnysideprince

[russenoire]

Getting to Know You Meme

tagged by @ygodmyy20! thankee kindly.

01) are you currently in a serious relationship? nope. can't say i miss it.

02) what was your dream growing up? i had a new one every month. the one that stuck around the longest was 'astronaut' until i learned that NASA's manned space program hasn't done much since skylab, outside of testing the limits of human endurance in low earth orbit. still cool! but i'll keep my unnaturally dense bones, thanks.

03) what talent do you wish you had? the talent to work any job i wanted without medication.

04) if someone bought you a drink what would it be? a cocktail of some sort. most likely a gin and tonic, a negroni or a mojito.

05) favorite vegetable? too many to count. easier for me to tell you what i don't like: green beans. if they're only palatable tempura-fried, i don't need them in my life.

06) what was the last book you read? currently working through your brain's not broken, by tamara rosier, ph.d.

07) what zodiac sign are you? virgo. and no, i don't wanna hear about how virgos are hyper-organized control freaks. i am neither of these things.

08) any tattoos and/or piercings? five in a single ear, one in the other. two make up an industrial piercing. i have no tattoos but want one of the kageyama brothers from mp100 someday.

09) worst habit? getting too hung up on the 'right time' to do things.

10) what is your favorite sport? to play? dodgeball. to watch? either figure skating or tennis.

11) do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude? recovering pessimist here. i'm optimistic about some things and nihilistic about others.

12) tell me one weird fact about you. i never learned to ride a bicycle.

13) do you have any pets? no. i love cats and regularly-washed dogs though.

14) do you think clowns are cute or scary? i don't have a strong opinion about clowns, tbh.

15) if you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? nothing. anything i can change is changeable.

16) what color eyes do you have? brown.

17) ever been arrested? nope.

18) bottle or can soda? bottle. though i don't soda very often.

19) if you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? pay off my student loans and save the rest.

20) what's your favorite place to hang out at? a vedanta temple in the foothills here, or a park on a hill with a historic frank lloyd-wright-designed home.

21) do you believe in ghosts? maybe. i know people who can see them.

22) favorite thing to do in your spare time? singing. or learning.

23) do you swear a lot? very much so.

24) biggest pet peeve? how long you got? we could be here all week.

25) in one word, how would you describe yourself? iconoclastic.

26) do you believe in/appreciate romance? *shrug* i believe in and appreciate love, wherever it comes from.

27) favourite and least favourite food? does anyone have a single favorite? anyone? i do not. least favorite food is canned vegetables, except for beets and corn.

28) do you believe in god? i believe in the divine, a Self that we are one with and all have access to. whatever you choose to call that is up to you.

29) what makes you happy: soft fluffy things, palpable texture in weaves and knits, sweet or creamy fruits, singing and/or listening to music, my friends, learning something new.

30) currently listening/the last thing you listened to: hiroko suzuki, 'bara wa utsukushiku chiru'.

31) favorite place to spend time: at home.

32) favorite lyric: 'love is like the scabs from sunburn' from the OP to kenda master ken.

33) recommend a film: at random? good morning, by yasujirō ōzu.

34) recommend a book: oranges are not the only fruit, by jeannette winterson; islands, the universe, home, by gretel ehrlich.

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album: uchikubi gokumon doukoukai, 'shufu no michi' (way of the house-husband)

36) recommend a TV show: rose of versailles. soapy as hell, but great if you love historical dramas and anime. it's fairly well-researched too.

37) where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived? the pacific north american coast; i'm still here. i've lived in texas and georgia, USA.

38) do you have any pets or animals in your life? how did you find/get them? no pets.

39) what's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? bull penis. 0/10 do not recommend. the most unusual thing i've actually enjoyed is probably fried crickets.

40) how did you 'find' fandom? got obsessed with a story and wanted to share that love with other people. didn't happen until my mid-thirties though with steven universe.

41) make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up. a heat gun, a soldering iron that i have never used for actual soldering, the laptop i'm typing this on, the laptop connected to my projector, a plastic mask.

42) how do you style your hair? usually a tall bun. my hair is long enough to sit on and this keeps it out of my way.

as always, no pressure: @yaraneechan @eshithepetty @impmansloot @gumy-shark @sukunekatano

@cheese-enjoyer9471 @sulfurousmirrorscapes @creativenicocorner or anyone else who sees this and wants to!

[cynicalruins]

Changérion Bible - Aizawa Kazunari interview

Translation by Windii, scans by me

(Spoiler alert for a few episodes)

Hayami Katsuhiko is a just and handsome hero cadet who failed to become the righteous hero Changéríon. He is a hot-blooded and frank guy with seriousness as his strong point, but he is quite a klutz. He is supposed to save the day, but is instead saved, and he partners up with Akira in an odd but funny two-man team before he knows it, yet he's a superhero who dreams big… In reality, however, he is an aggressive and fiery young man who moved to Tokyo when he was drunk.

"I honestly can't believe that Changéríon was such a memorable work for so many people."

-Like Hayami, who played the role in the past, he says so with a mysterious look on his face. However, contrary to his own feelings, he says he is still receiving feedback from various sources.

"The other day, I was participating in a theater workshop."

-It was a full-fledged one, inviting a teacher from England for professionals.

"There were about 10 participants, some of whom were from Bungeiza, Daisan Erotica, and former members of Yume no Yuuminsha, so it was quite exciting. On the last day, one of them told me that they had seen Changéríon. I was surprised. They seemed to have been thinking for a long time about when they were going to say it, since it was the last day. That's when I realized that someone had seen it."

-It was the same thing on stage.

"Sometimes people who have been fans since the Changéríon days come to watch me, which is kind of incredible."

-He confesses that he never intended to become an actor in the first place.

"I know I'm being cheeky, but I just didn't like the normal routine."

-It all started with a movie. He happened to see a film on holiday that was so romantic and interesting that he wanted to play such a role.

"The name of the work is too faddist, so I won't tell you. But I like romantic stories. That's why I often watch romantic movies."

-He was born and raised in Miyagi Prefecture. After graduating from high school, he took it for granted that he would work for a local company.

"That was a very nice place to work, everyone was kind, and I was blessed."

-He was assigned to a factory. He wore a uniform and did the same work day in and day out.

"…I am embarrassed to say this, but one day I saw my reflection in the glass as I was working in my uniform. I am now living with my parents, and I can see a future where I will get a wife, build a house, and have children. And I wondered if that was what I wanted."

-He went for a drink with agonizing thoughts and then went straight into action.

"I drank until morning and took the bullet train to Tokyo first thing in the morning (laughs)."

-It was truly an "impulse."

"One thing I remember very well was the news of the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait that was playing at Tokyo Station. It was still early in the morning, but people were gathering around the TVs in the storefronts, and I wondered what was going on. Oh, it's war, they said."

-That day the Gulf War broke out. Unbeknownst to others, his life also changed dramatically.

"That was when I was 20 or 21. I moved in and lived at my senior's house for a while, but my parents scolded me. They said, "It's your choice to go to Tokyo, but you should do the bare minimum as a human being," and that was a good point. I had no more money, so I went back to my parents' house to visit my workplace and sell my car to make money… It was a great place to work, and I still feel bad about it, and I am grateful to my parents for not stopping me."

-Thus, he finally arrived in Tokyo. However, even at that point, he did not have a firm goal in mind.

"Since I was tall, I had been told since high school that I should model, so I decided to try modeling in Tokyo. So I looked at magazines and looked for an agency… Then I saw a movie, and I had a goal of becoming an actor. I guess I couldn't allow myself to make an escape route, so I gave up on the modeling agency. But I didn't know how to become an actor, so I asked for introductions and auditions. When you are alone in Tokyo, you have to help yourself to survive, so in that sense it is a tough city, although you can get by with your own efforts."

-However, he decided to live here.

Scouted out in the hallway?! First serial drama!

"I went to Toei's headquarters with my office manager to say hello."

-It was on the production floor, where the desks of the producers belonging to the company were lined up.

"While the manager was greeting the executives, I was waiting in the hallway and my shoelace came undone, so I had to sit down and tie it back on."

-Then a man appeared (he seemed to be a very important guy).

"He suddenly asked me who I was, and when I told him I was an actor, he said, 'I see, now come with me.'"

-He didn't know why, but he was called in for an audition for Racing Squadron Carranger that was being prepared at the time. Unfortunately, he was too tall to fit in with the other members and was rejected. He then decided to take on Super Shining Soldier Changéríon.

"When I received the script for the first episode, I thought that if it was going to be a choice between Akira and Hayami, I should be Hayami because of my personality. I heard that the two of them were competing with each other until the very end, but they decided on me at the last minute."

-However, he confesses that he did not really feel it.

"I mean, I was readily selected to appear in a serialized drama series, and I wondered if it would be so quick and easy."

-However, after that, he ended up having to work very hard (laughs).

Changéríon was a "playground"

"At first, Hayami was supposed to be more cool and carry the shadow of not being a hero. But before I knew it, he turned out to be such a serious fool."

-It was your own fault, said scriptwriter Inoue at the time, or not (laughs).

"I guess it's my fault. I was often told by Mr. Shirakura and Mr. Inoue that Hayami was not really this kind of guy. It is true that I was a bit aware of it, and there was a part of me that got carried away. It was my first acting job, and I had the strength of not knowing, you could say, or the feeling that it would be fine if it was funny. And I went overboard."

-However, his fearless vigor has created an image of Hayami as a hot-blooded, upright, stubborn, and good-natured person. In episode 9 "The Radiant Hayami!", for example, he transforms into the long-sought Changéríon in place of Akira, but his good-naturedness causes the dark creature, who begs him to change his ways, to flee. The hero is unable to wield his sword in the face of the apologetic opponent… Akira was an unconventional hero too, but is it our imagination that Hayami has also created a stir in the image of heroes of the past? Indeed, a hero is a being who slaughters his enemies in the name of justice. The antithesis of this attitude seems to have led to the current Kamen Rider Ryuuki.

"I feel that Mr. Inoue and Mr. Shirakura have successfully created an amusement park or, well, a more primitive park or playground for us. It's like we were just playing there. For example, "We made swings. But this is a swing set, so how would you play on it?" So we all thought hard about what we would do. We were really just having fun playing. If you could see the antithesis of that, I think it was because Mr. Shirakura and Mr. Inoue were so great."

-The only regret he has is that the program, which he says he played around in with all his might, was terminated in the middle of the cour. To be precise, it was not cancelled, but rather not renewed for a fourth cour, which was a shock to him since he thought it would continue.

"I guess I wanted more of a sense of convergence from everyone, because it ended without any. But now I think that last episode was good. The idea of a loop between a carefree daily life and a serious battlefield is amazing, isn't it? But I also think that maybe that's the way life is. As for myself, I wanted to settle things as Hayami. I think Hayami has always been a guy with a very negative attitude, thinking that he was supposed to be the one to make it. Just as it would have been nice to have a hero who was not cool and had no sense of justice, which Akira symbolized, it would have been nice to have someone with darker thoughts. Likewise, I think it would have been okay for Kuroiwa (Ogawa Atsushi) to be a villain and still fall in love with Eri (Kochihira Chika). …When you think about it like that, it was certainly a work that broke a lot of stereotypes."

-Hayami, who was in the midst of a conflict, however, finally achieves his longed-for transformation in episode 32 "Enter the Second Warrior!"… but this is Changéríon, after all, and Hayami transforms by eating dried plums (is he Suppaman?).

"For a long time, there were rumors. I wondered how it would turn out, and then it happened (laughs). I like the fact that Hayami is unaware of it, it's just like him."

-We asked him about his memorable episodes.

"I was happy to see the transformation. The scene where he eats Chief Munakata's seed of darkness and gets down on his knees saying, "That was delicious!" was funny. Then there was the scene where Akira and I switched places in "The Radiant Hayami!" That was a difficult episode. We were looking at each other and laughing, thinking, "This is not how it's supposed to be!" From that time on, I learned to do small acts in the frame, and we would restlessly do things together in the background. And the dubbing was separate, so it was mostly wasted (laughs)."

-What he did not like was dubbing.

"I hated it. When I saw the first episode, I thought it was so robotic. I thought that was so bad. I had a very hard time getting into the right mood for each episode."

-It was also around this time that he received his first fan letter.

"There was a one-time event called 'Cinefan' at Toei's Ooizumi Studios, and I wasn't scheduled to perform, but I went for one day and was surprised by the huge crowd. It was the first time for me to see fans in person, and I was surprised and happy to be called Hayami by a little kid, which was a strange feeling. I didn't really feel like I was playing the hero. I was more like "Detective Story" or "Tired Detective," which Akira likes, and we had said we would do something like that. So I was unexpectedly happy."

What Aizawa, an actor, thinks

"This job is more often hard and painful than fun, and there are more times when I don't do well, but sometimes I feel very fulfilled, and I want to savor it even more. At the time of Changéríon, I didn't think about these things, I was just playing like crazy, and I probably didn't wake up until later. But I learned a lot of things to wake up. Akira really has something that only he can do. I was very jealous of him because he had something that I could never have… but I was sure that there was a role that only I could play, so I decided to find it, because no matter what I played, I would always be me. I left because I didn't want to live a normal life, but at my age, when I interact with people from different professions, I often find myself empathizing with them, and I think that being an actor is not special. I hope that this will be a source of fertilizer. For me, Changéríon is like a "park where I went to during elementary school." I remember playing in the mud in the daytime, and I remember the dusk and the night scenery—If I had to give a word to my fans… I would say thank you. That's all I have to say."

-Thank you for a good time, too. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Akira & Hayami

Akira: The snakeskin jacket I'm wearing in Kamen Rider (Asakura) right now is my own. Hayami: Oh, I've seen it before! Akira: It's in my room, you know? I'm not wearing it outside. Hayami: No, I saw it outside! You were walking around with it on. Akira: You're lying! Totally lying! Hayami: Just kidding. ♡ Akira: (laughs) You know, I was thinking that if you found out that I was playing a Rider wearing such a thing, you would say, "Akira, what the heck… I'm so upset!" (*) Hayami: You're right (laughs). Rider, huh? I'm so sad, Akira. Akira: Actually, I know you're worried. ♡

Hayami: At the time, I was just so absorbed in things, so I'm glad that people still remember me after 6 years like this. Akira: Yes. But now, when I hear people say that my acting has improved as a rider, I'm like, "What?!" But it's true, we weren't very good at acting (laughs). The director would joke that if we were better, we would be able to do the long takes on camera, and the cutaways were very detailed. Hayami: Yes, there was a time when I was quite particular about getting a long take someday. Akira: Then, in the middle of the series, Director Konaka started making long takes of your scenes. Hayami: That made the acting more exciting. Then, I would make mistakes and get yelled at. Akira: And I get depressed (laughs). And it shows on my face. I can't smile when I should be smiling, and that's not good. Hayami: But I know that he is angry with me with love. I'm going to do my best.

Hayami: We've been talking about making a movie together for a long time, but it's not easy. Akira: But I would love to make a film! Let's really make it happen. *Editor's note: Actually, there was an initial plan for Hayami to visit Akira's Rider shooting site to correct his ways (?) as a hero. But unfortunately, it did not come true.

Aizawa Kazunari: Born August 1, 1969 in Miyagi Prefecture. After working as a model, he was scouted (?) in the hallway of Toei's headquarters and auditioned, making his debut as Super Shining Soldier Changéríon's Hayami Katsuhiko. Since then, he has been active in film and stage. He appeared in the movie "Dolls" directed by Kitano Takeshi, which will be released in the fall, and in the movie "SEMI" directed by Yokoi Kenji, which will be released at the end of the year.

[merakiui]

me when you post a writers ask game : （ ๑✧∀✧๑ ）

can i request 9, 17, 33, and 44!

( ੭ ･ᴗ･ )੭ hehe I love yapping about writing whenever I can!!! Thank you for requesting! <3

(writer asks)

9. in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

!!!!! a movie or tv adaptation would be so cool! There's always something so fascinating about written fiction becoming film, as there are some aspects and stylistic choices that can be portrayed much clearer in a visual format. >w< also,,, more than just a film or tv adaptation, it would be a dream come true to have a video essay made based on said adaptation. I always love to see how others interpret and dissect my writing, so it would be interesting to watch someone share their thoughts on the adaptation.

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

There are too many... truthfully, there are times when I read through my work again and I come across a banger line and I think to myself: "Who wrote this?????" (in a positive way). I think some of my favorite lines stem from The Most Dangerous Game. I may have gone overboard with the sugary poetry in tmdg, but this is Jade Leech in love. I had to capture the essence of a romance that is so all-consuming on both sides, and what better way to do so than use every flowery figurative in the book? (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

I could sift through the sands of my writing until I find dozens of lines I consider gems, but I'll select just one as per the question! I think one of my favorite lines would have to be this one from everything is going to be okay. The line is: Soup is what becomes of your brain when your body is too itchy. This line is just so gutting to me! In the context of the story, it's a great way to describe the reader's trauma and the tumultuous disconnect between brain and body.

33. do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

It's a bit of both! Sometimes I craft the plot first and then see which characters would fit into it and other times I start with characters and build the plot around them. The best way I can think to describe it is that it's like putting a puzzle together. Sometimes you start with the border pieces so that you can fill in the whole picture and other times you do it in reverse.

44. any writing advice you want to share?

The best advice I hold onto (for all kinds of writing) is that every first draft will be terrible/awkward/imperfect, and this is normal. I often remind myself that all great statues and busts began as chunks of stone and that it took lots of continuous work to shape them into the way they are today. That is to say, it's okay to cringe at a bad first draft because, in most cases, it is meant to be this way so that you can return to it and continue sculpting it into something that suits your vision! forgive my unusual metaphor. I hope it's not confusing,, ;;;;

In other words, don't be so harsh in the first draft stage. This is a time to simply put words on the page. The rough edges will always be smoothed out in later stages! ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )