#╰ ❛ &. ⤑ and this is how you become deathless ╱ in character.

[disabled-dragoon]

The Disability Library

I love books, I love literature, and I love this blog, but it's only been recently that I've really been given the option to explore disabled literature, and I hate that. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be able to read about characters like me, and now as an adult, all I want is to be able to read a book that takes us seriously.

And so, friends, Romans, countrymen, I present, a special disability and chronic illness booklist, compiled by myself and through the contributions of wonderful members from this site!

As always, if there are any at all that you want me to add, please just say. I'm always looking for more!

Edit 20/10/2023: You can now suggest books using the google form at the bottom!

Updated: 31/08/2023

Articles and Chapters

The Drifting Language of Architectural Accessibility in Victor Hugo's Notre-Dame de Paris, Essaka Joshua, 2012

Early Modern Literature and Disability Studies, Allison P. Hobgood, David Houston Wood, 2017

How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult?, Elinor Greenburg, 2019

Making Do with What You Don't Have: Disabled Black Motherhood in Octavia E. Butler's Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents, Anna Hinton, 2018

Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2003 OR Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2019

Wasted Lives: Modernity and Its Outcasts, Zygmunt Bauman, 2004

Witchcraft and deformity in early modern English Literature, Scott Eaton, 2020

Books

Fiction:

Misc:

10 Things I Can See From Here, Carrie Mac

A-F:

A Curse So Dark and Lonely, (Series), Brigid Kemmerer

Akata Witch, (Series), Nnedi Okorafor

A Mango-Shaped Space, Wendy Mass

Ancillary Justice, (Series), Ann Leckie

An Unkindness of Ghosts, Rivers Solomon

An Unseen Attraction, (Series), K. J. Charles

A Shot in the Dark, Victoria Lee

A Snicker of Magic, Natalie Lloyd

A Song of Ice and Fire, (series), George R. R. Martin

A Spindle Splintered, (Series), Alix E. Harrow

A Time to Dance, Padma Venkatraman

Bath Haus, P. J. Vernon

Beasts of Prey, (Series), Ayana Gray

The Bedlam Stacks, (Series), Natasha Pulley

Black Bird, Blue Road, Sofiya Pasternack

Black Sun, (Series), Rebecca Roanhorse

Blood Price, (Series), Tanya Huff

Borderline, (Series), Mishell Baker

Breath, Donna Jo Napoli

The Broken Kingdoms, (Series), N.K. Jemisin

Brute, Kim Fielding

Cafe con Lychee, Emery Lee

Carry the Ocean, (Series), Heidi Cullinan

Challenger Deep, Neal Shusterman

Cinder, (Series), Marissa Meyer

Clean, Amy Reed

Connection Error, (Series), Annabeth Albert

Cosima Unfortunate Steals A Star, Laura Noakes

Crazy, Benjamin Lebert

Crooked Kingdom, (Series), Leigh Bardugo

Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots, (Series), Cat Sebastian

Daniel, Deconstructed, James Ramos

Dead in the Garden, (Series), Dahlia Donovan

Dear Fang, With Love, Rufi Thorpe

Deathless Divide, (Series), Justina Ireland

The Degenerates, J. Albert Mann

The Doctor's Discretion, E.E. Ottoman

Earth Girl, (Series), Janet Edwards

Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, Emily R. Austin

The Extraordinaries, (Series), T. J. Klune

The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict, (Series), Trenton Lee Stewart

Fight + Flight, Jules Machias

The Final Girl Support Group, Grady Hendrix

Finding My Voice, (Series), Aoife Dooley

The First Thing About You, Chaz Hayden

Follow My Leader, James B. Garfield

Forever Is Now, Mariama J. Lockington

Fortune Favours the Dead, (Series), Stephen Spotswood

Fresh, Margot Wood

H-0:

Harmony, London Price

Harrow the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir

Hench, (Series), Natalia Zina Walschots

Highly Illogical Behaviour, John Corey Whaley

Honey Girl, Morgan Rogers

How to Become a Planet, Nicole Melleby

How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager, (Series), D. N. Bryn

How to Sell Your Blood & Fall in Love, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, Joy Demorra

I Am Not Alone, Francisco X. Stork

The Immeasurable Depth of You, Maria Ingrande Mora

In the Ring, Sierra Isley

Into The Drowning Deep, (Series), Mira Grant

Iron Widow, (Series), Xiran Jay Zhao

Izzy at the End of the World, K. A. Reynolds

Jodie's Journey, Colin Thiele

Just by Looking at Him, Ryan O'Connell

Kissing Doorknobs, Terry Spencer Hesser

Lakelore, Anna-Marie McLemore

Learning Curves, (Series), Ceillie Simkiss

Let's Call It a Doomsday, Katie Henry

The Library of the Dead, (Series), TL Huchu

The Lion Hunter, (Series), Elizabeth Wein

Lirael, (Series), Garth Nix

Long Macchiatos and Monsters, Alison Evans

Love from A to Z, (Series), S.K. Ali

Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses, Kristen O'Neal

Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro

The Never Tilting World, (Series), Rin Chupeco

The No-Girlfriend Rule, Christen Randall

Nona the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir

Noor, Nnedi Okorafor

Odder Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Once Stolen, (Series), D. N. Bryn

One For All, Lillie Lainoff

On the Edge of Gone, Corinne Duyvis

Origami Striptease, Peggy Munson

Our Bloody Pearl, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Out of My Mind, Sharon M. Draper

P-T:

Parable of the Sower, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Parable of the Talents, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Percy Jackson & the Olympians, (series), Rick Riordan

Pomegranate, Helen Elaine Lee

The Prey of Gods, Nicky Drayden

The Pursuit Of..., (Series), Courtney Milan

The Queen's Thief, (Series), Megan Whalen Turner

The Quiet and the Loud, Helena Fox

The Raging Quiet, Sheryl Jordan

The Reanimator's Heart, (Series), Kara Jorgensen

The Remaking of Corbin Wale, Joan Parrish

Roll with It, (Series), Jamie Sumner

Russian Doll, (Series), Cristelle Comby

The Second Mango, (Series), Shira Glassman

Scar of the Bamboo Leaf, Sieni A.M

Shaman, (Series), Noah Gordon

Sick Kids in Love, Hannah Moskowitz

The Silent Boy, Lois Lowry

Six of Crows, (Series) Leigh Bardugo

Sizzle Reel, Carlyn Greenwald

The Spare Man, Mary Robinette Kowal

The Stagsblood Prince, (Series), Gideon E. Wood

Stake Sauce, Arc 1: The Secret Ingredient is Love. No, Really, (Series), RoAnna Sylver

Stars in Your Eyes, Kacen Callender [Expected release: Oct 2023]

The Storm Runner, (Series), J. C. Cervantes

Stronger Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Sweetblood, Pete Hautman

Tarnished Are the Stars, Rosiee Thor

The Theft of Sunlight, (Series), Intisar Khanani

Throwaway Girls, Andrea Contos

Top Ten, Katie Cotugno

Torch, Lyn Miller-Lachmann

Treasure, Rebekah Weatherspoon

Turtles All the Way Down, John Green

U-Z:

Unlicensed Delivery, Will Soulsby-McCreath Expected release October 2023

Verona Comics, Jennifer Dugan

Vorkosigan Saga, (Series), Lois McMaster Bujold

We Are the Ants, (Series), Shaun David Hutchinson

The Weight of Our Sky, Hanna Alkaf

Whip, Stir and Serve, Caitlyn Frost and Henry Drake

The Whispering Dark, Kelly Andrew

Wicked Sweet, Chelsea M. Cameron

Wonder, (Series), R. J. Palacio

Wrong to Need You, (Series), Alisha Rai

Ziggy, Stardust and Me, James Brandon

Graphic Novels:

A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability, (Non-Fiction), A. Andrews

Constellations, Kate Glasheen

Dancing After TEN: a graphic memoir, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Vivian Chong, Georgia Webber

Everything Is an Emergency: An OCD Story in Words Pictures, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Jason Adam Katzenstein

Frankie's World: A Graphic Novel, (Series), Aoife Dooley

The Golden Hour, Niki Smith

Nimona, N. D. Stevenson

The Third Person, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Emma Grove

Magazines and Anthologies:

Artificial Divide, (Anthology), Robert Kingett, Randy Lacey

Beneath Ceaseless Skies #175: Grandmother-nai-Leylit's Cloth of Winds, (Article), R. B. Lemburg

Defying Doomsday, (Anthology), edited by Tsana Dolichva and Holly Kench

Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, (short story) (anthology), Seiko Tanabe

Nothing Without Us, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson

Nothing Without Us Too, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson

Unbroken: 13 Stories Starring Disabled Teens, (Anthology), edited by Marieke Nijkamp

Uncanny #24: Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction, (Anthology), edited by: Elsa Sjunneson-Henry, Dominik Parisien et al.

Uncanny #30: Disabled People Destroy Fantasy, (Anthology), edited by: Nicolette Barischoff, Lisa M. Bradley, Katharine Duckett

We Shall Be Monsters, edited by Derek Newman-Stille

Manga:

Perfect World, (Series), Rie Aruga

The Sky is Blue with a Single Cloud, (Short Stories), Kuniko Tsurita

Non-Fiction:

Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education, Jay Timothy Dolmage

A Disability History of the United States, Kim E, Nielsen

The Architecture of Disability: Buildings, Cities, and Landscapes beyond Access, David Gissen

Being Seen: One Deafblind Woman's Fight to End Ableism, Elsa Sjunneson

Black Disability Politics, Sami Schalk

Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety, Dr. Elinor Greenburg

Brilliant Imperfection: Grappling with Cure, Eli Clare

The Cambridge Companion to Literature and Disability, Barker, Clare and Stuart Murray, editors.

The Capacity Contract: Intellectual Disability and the Question of Citizenship, Stacy Clifford Simplican

Capitalism and Disability, Martha Russel

Care work: Dreaming Disability Justice, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Catatonia, Shutdown and Breakdown in Autism: A Psycho-Ecological Approach, Dr Amitta Shah

The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays, Esme Weijun Wang

Crip Kinship, Shayda Kafai

Crip Up the Kitchen: Tools, Tips and Recipes for the Disabled Cook, Jules Sherred

Culture – Theory – Disability: Encounters between Disability Studies and Cultural Studies, Anne Waldschmidt, Hanjo Berressem, Moritz Ingwersen

Decarcerating Disability: Deinstitutionalization and Prison Abolition, Liat Ben-Moshe

Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to Be an Ally, Emily Ladau

Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Disability Pride: Dispatches from a Post-ADA World, Ben Mattlin

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the Twenty-First Century, Alice Wong

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability and Making Space, Amanda Leduc

Every Cripple a Superhero, Christoph Keller

Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness and Liberation, Eli Clare

Feminist Queer Crip, Alison Kafer

The Future Is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Growing Up Disabled in Australia, Carly Findlay

It's Just Nerves: Notes on a Disability, Kelly Davio

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot

Language Deprivation & Deaf Mental Health, Neil S. Glickman, Wyatte C. Hall

The Minority Body: A Theory of Disability, Elizabeth Barnes

My Body and Other Crumbling Empires: Lessons for Healing in a World That Is Sick, Lyndsey Medford

No Right to Be Idle: The Invention of Disability, 1840s-1930s, Sarah F. Rose

Nothing About Us Without Us: Disability Oppression and Empowerment, James I. Charlton

The Pedagogy of Pathologization Dis/abled Girls of Color in the School-prison Nexus, Subini Ancy Annamma

Physical Disability in British Romantic Literature, Essaka Joshua

QDA: A Queer Disability Anthology, Raymond Luczak, Editor.

The Right to Maim: Debility, Capacity, Disability, Jasbir K. Puar

Sitting Pretty, (memoir), Rebecca Taussig

Sounds Like Home: Growing Up Black & Deaf in the South, Mary Herring Wright

Surviving and Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness: How to Stay Sane and Live One Step Ahead of Your Symptoms, Ilana Jacqueline

The Things We Don't Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths, Julie Morgenlender

Uncanny Bodies: Superhero Comics and Disability, Scott T. Smith, José Alaniz 

Uncomfortable Labels: My Life as a Gay Autistic Trans Woman, (memoir), Laura Kate Dale

Unmasking Autism, Devon Price

The War on Disabled People: Capitalism, Welfare and the Making of a Human Catastrophe, Ellen Clifford

We've Got This: Essays by Disabled Parents, Eliza Hull

Year of the Tiger: An Activist's Life, (memoir) (essays) Alice Wong

Picture Books:

A Day With No Words, Tiffany Hammond, Kate Cosgrove-

A Friend for Henry, Jenn Bailey, Mika Song

Ali and the Sea Stars, Ali Stroker, Gillian Reid

All Are Welcome, Alexandra Penfold, Suzanne Kaufman

All the Way to the Top, Annette Bay Pimentel, Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins, Nabi Ali

Can Bears Ski?, Raymond Antrobus, Polly Dunbar

Different -- A Great Thing to Be!, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga

Everyone Belongs, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga

I Talk Like a River, Jordan Scott, Sydney Smith

Jubilee: The First Therapy Horse and an Olympic Dream, K. T. Johnson, Anabella Ortiz

Just Ask!, Sonia Sotomayor, Rafael López

Kami and the Yaks, Andrea Stenn Stryer, Bert Dodson

My Three Best Friends and Me, Zulay, Cari Best, Vanessa Brantley-Newton

Rescue & Jessica: A Life-Changing Friendship, Jessica Kensky, Patrick Downes, Scott Magoon

Sam's Super Seats, Keah Brown, Sharee Miller

Small Knight and the Anxiety Monster, Manka Kasha

We Move Together, Kelly Fritsch, Anne McGuire, Eduardo Trejos

We're Different, We're the Same, and We're All Wonderful!, Bobbi Jane Kates, Joe Mathieu

What Happened to You?, James Catchpole, Karen George

The World Needs More Purple People, Kristen Bell, Benjamin Hart, Daniel Wiseman

You Are Enough: A Book About Inclusion, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso

You Are Loved: A Book About Families, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso

The You Kind of Kind, Nina West, Hayden Evans

Zoom!, Robert Munsch, Michael Martchenko

Plays:

Peeling, Kate O'Reilly

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With an extra special thank you to @parafoxicalk @craftybookworms @lunod @galaxyaroace @shub-s @trans-axolotl @suspicious-whumping-egg @ya-world-challenge @fictionalgirlsworld @rubyjewelqueen @some-weird-queer-writer @jacensolodjo @cherry-sys @dralthon @thebibliosphere @brynwrites @aj-grimoire @shade-and-sun @ceanothusspinosus @edhelwen1 @waltzofthewifi @spiderleggedhorse @sleepneverheardofher @highladyluck @oftheides @thecouragetobekind @nopoodles @lupadracolis @elusivemellifluence @creativiteaa @moonflowero1 @the-bi-library @chronically-chaotic-cryptid for your absolutely fantastic contributions!

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Submit a Book:

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Deathless Death

Pairing: Osferth x nameless female character (third person perspective) Warnings: Religious guilt. Smut. Fingering. Slight exhibitionism. Oral (f receiving). Gratuitous Hozier references. Word count: 3.5k

Summary: When a young woman's father is killed following Skade's attack on the priests of Alton, Osferth agrees to take responsibility for her, feeling a need to protect a fellow Christian. However, the longer they travel together the deeper they have each other questioning their faith. Based on this request. Series masterlist.

Author's note: No gods, no masters, no tag lists. Only scabs community label fics. If you find yourself tempted to slap a label on this, please block me instead.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. This is a belief that Osferth has always clung firmly to, it is the only way he can justify his existence; the result of a union between a serving girl and a deeply religious king who, so embarrassed by his extramarital indiscretion, had ensured that Osferth was enrolled as a novice monk as soon as he was old enough, and refused to ever acknowledge him as his son.

Osferth is a bastard, yet he must have a purpose, for God does not give life without intent. He feels he has found his reason for being when he crosses paths with Uhtred, a man his uncle, Leofric, had always spoken kindly of. He offers to serve Uhtred as a warrior, though he has no fighting experience. This is the divine path chosen for him, he is certain of it. He clutches the hilt of his sword as tightly as he often grips the cross that sits around his neck in times of anguish, and does his best to be brave in spite of how afraid he feels.

Reluctantly he learns the ways of ale and women, surprised when the Lord does not smite him down for his sins. He surmises that he has misinterpreted the teachings of the Holy Book; a life of piety does not have to mean an existence endured in abstinence. Though his faith in God never once falters, he grows to enjoy, and even seek out, the pleasures he’d once mistaken for temptations. They are not a means for him to stray from the light, but another outlet in which he can revere it and give thanks.

It is not until he reaches the village of Alton with Uhtred and his men that he discovers the true purpose of the journey he has embarked upon. A group of Danes with a seeress named Skade in their midst has attacked the village, killing all of its holy men.

That is where he finds her. Such a fragile looking thing, sobbing her heart out while huddled behind a vegetable cart, clutching her cross in much the same way he used to do with his.

“Don’t be afraid.” He reassures her calmly, crouching so his face is level with hers.

“Are you an angel?” She asks tearfully, her eyes wide and imploring.

Osferth cannot help but smile at that. For you I’d like to be.

With gentle persuasion, Uhtred agrees to allow Osferth to bring the girl along, provided he is responsible for her. He is all too happy to agree to that. Her mother is long dead and the attack on Alton has killed her father, she has no one else. He was meant to meet her, he feels it in his heart.

Naturally, she is fearful of the others, her only prior encounter with heathens had ended in the death of her only living relative and left her all alone in the world. She clings to Osferth, but he does not mind it. He sees a lot of himself in her, how scared he’d been when he’d first left the monastery to accompany Uhtred. But if she is anything like him, she is resilient and she will pull through this.

As the weeks pass, her face becomes less marred by fear and grief. She is beautiful, Osferth realises. He has been grateful to have someone to bow his head in prayer with, however, the way that she snuggles next to him for warmth in front of the campfire, how closely she leans back against his chest as they ride together and the proximity in which she lays her bed roll next to his no longer feel so innocent, at least not to him.

He feels ashamed for harbouring such illicit thoughts about her. Her piety makes him feel like he is the worst kind of sinner. She does not partake in ale and stays quiet when the rest of the group share lewd jokes. Where her prayers are earnest and heartfelt, his feel flimsy and disingenuous. He would renounce the Lord and worship her instead if she asked it of him. The idea makes his stones ache. When she shivers and huddles to him for warmth it occurs to him that he’d burn everything in his path if only for her to never feel cold again.

Guilt blooms heavily in his chest at the thoughts and feelings she elicits from him, especially when she looks at him, her eyes are always filled with gratitude and adoration. He has grown to crave her gaze, despite the fact that she will never view him as anything more than a protector.

When it becomes too much for him to bear, he seeks the comfort of the nearest brothel. With each thrust into the whore beneath him, he imagines her face, how those hands that fold so delicately in prayer would feel clinging to his shoulders, how soft and supple her flesh would be against the wiry hardness of his own. When he reaches his peak, picturing her, he comes harder than he ever has before in his life. It feels like he has died and approached the very gates of Heaven.

If that is how it feels merely to think about her, he wonders what it would be like to actually be inside of her. It would surely feel holy and sacred, a pleasure not meant for mere mortals. For the second time that night he craves her, and so he seeks out another woman offering her services in the pleasure house.

He pays them well, and he is not unkind to them. He is convinced that that is why they fight over him the next day. He is mortified, especially when he sees that she is watching. She will think him godless, sinful. He hopes that the Lord is merciful and does not intend for her to leave him. He sends a silent prayer of thanks when she remains by his side in the days that follow.

It is not until Uhtred, Sihtric and Finan pay a visit to Alfred, and leave Osferth and her back at camp that he realises they’ve never truly been alone together. He shifts uncomfortably on the log he sits upon, glancing up from the flames of the fire every so often at her, unsure of what to say. She eyes him curiously the entire time, the warmth from the fire and the sunny afternoon meaning she does not snuggle to him as she usually would. Secretly he is disappointed.

“Do you still believe in God?” She asks quietly.

Her gaze is timid and as Osferth turns to meet her eye, she looks to her lap as though ashamed to have asked.

“Of course I do, my lady,” He replies softly, smiling at her. He wants more than anything for her to look at him again, there is something reverent in the way she regards him that makes his chest swell and his cock twitch. He could die happily with a single glance his way from her. “My faith has never waivered.”

“You are not as devout as the people from back home.” Her fingers pinch and stroke over the fabric of her skirt as she says this, not looking up at him as he sits across from her.

“I used to be,” He admits with a slight shrug, wondering if she thinks less of him for his perceived lack of faith. “I suppose travelling with Uhtred has taught me that faith does not mean deprivation. The Lord made life for living.”

She nods, her voice barely above a whisper, as her eyes flicker to his. “Is that why you visit brothels, and why those women fight over you?”

He feels his cheeks heat up as she asks this, and suddenly it’s his turn to look away, embarrassed. He takes a moment to consider his reply, not wanting to sully her innocence with vulgarity, or say anything that might frighten her. “I was celibate when I was a monk…” He begins awkwardly. “I’m not anymore. Truthfully, partaking in the pleasures of the flesh feels like the closest experience to meeting God without dying.”

He knows he has turned pink all the way to the tips of his ears by the time he finishes speaking, he cannot bear to look at her for fear of what he might see in her eyes. She must think he is utterly depraved.

The moment of silence between them hangs thick and uncomfortable before she finally breaks it. “If that is why you are fought over…then I am eager to find out for myself.”

His head snaps up, his eyes wide, stunned and unsure of if he has heard correctly, it seems too forward a statement for such a pious little thing like her. However, her stare is steady and unwavering as it meets his, causing his breath to hitch. He hadn’t misheard her and she meant every word.

The cracking of a twig causes them to finally look away from each other, as they turn to see the others returning. He has never been displeased to see any of them before, but can’t help but wish they’d left it a little longer to come back.

Her words play on a loop in Osferth’s thoughts. I am eager to find out for myself. He frantically strokes himself to release that night, once more plagued by visions of her, the silkiness of her hair, her scent, the dulcet tone of her giggle. There is no sweeter innocence in his mind than the gentle sin that he shares with her.

There is a storm the following evening. Though they are camped beneath a thatch of trees, protected from the worst of the downpour, it does little to block out the boom of the thunder and the crackle of lightning. She whimpers at every crash, clearly frightened, and Osferth’s heart aches for her. He’d do anything to make sure the expression of fear and sadness she wore for the first few weeks they traveled together never returns.

He pulls her tight to him, wrapping the furs around them both as they sit around the fire with the others. They don’t bat an eye at the familiarity between the two, understanding of the fact that she finds comfort in a fellow Christian’s presence and that Osferth is simply offering kindness to someone in need of it.

She melts into his embrace and he allows his hands to wander over her beneath the furs, tracing the curves of her through her dress. He has never dared to touch her like this before and she looks up at him questioningly, though makes no move to stop him.

Emboldened by her silent consent, he strokes her hair with his free hand, while allowing the other to push up her skirt. She gasps at this and buries her face in his chest. He holds her tighter while Uhtred, Finan and Sihtric continue their conversation, all assuming she is just startled by the storm that rages above them.

Her inner thighs are velvety smooth as his fingertips trace over the flesh of them. Not even angel’s wings feel as divine as this, he thinks. As the pads of his digits make contact with the gusset of her smallclothes he draws in a shaky inhale at finding that it is damp with her arousal. It darkens the desire within him to have confirmation that she is just as affected by him as he is by her, and he pushes her underclothes to the side, stroking through the slickness of her folds.

She shudders against him, her breathing growing heavier and he quietly shushes her, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. He looks up to see Finan give him a sympathetic smile, clearly assuming Osferth is comforting her, before he is distracted by Uhtred swatting him softly with the back of his hand in order to gain back his attention.

Osferth looks back down at her, she is peeking up at him from where her head rests against his chest and in the flicker of the firelight he can see that her pupils are wide with lust. It is a look he has seen on the faces of many of the women within the pleasure houses he’s visited over the years. To see it burning bright within the eyes of someone so pure is enough to drive him to madness with the desire it awakens within him.

Shielded from view beneath the furs, he circles her pearl with precision, silently delighting in the way she clutches at his robes and bucks slightly up at his hand. He feels she’s growing close when her body tenses against his and she stares up at him, worry evident in how her brows pinch together. Poor thing has never peaked before.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He murmurs, coaxing her to let go.

He cradles her head to his chest as she trembles and gasps against him, before finally going limp. Osferth withdraws his hand, allowing her to slump sleepily against him, smiling softly down at her as her eyes drift closed.

He knows in that moment that she will be both his salvation and his damnation, and he welcomes both with open arms.

It is another week before they are left alone together, and life carries on as normal. They do not speak of what happened beneath the furs on the night of the storm, despite the fact that it’s all Osferth can think about.

The others head away from camp one evening to scout the locations of a possible attack from the Danes. It is too dangerous for her to come along, so Osferth remains behind so she is not left alone. This time she seats herself next to him, and he feels his mouth run dry, heart hammering in his chest as he struggles to think of what to say to her.

He startles when she places her hand on his. “You are right,” She says with a shy smile. “It felt…like something divine…when you touched me.”

Osferth swallows thickly. “You liked it?” He asks, already knowing the answer, but desperate to hear her say it.

She nods, chewing her lip nervously. “I did. Does that make me a sinner?”

His eyes widen in mild horror that she could ever consider herself such. “No, that is something you could never be.”

“I am not repentant though,” She muses, her eyes slowly meeting his. “I have thought of nothing else.”

“That is only natural.” He tells her, suddenly aware of how close their faces are, noses almost brushing. His gaze flits to her lips momentarily. Osferth has never kissed a woman before, though he has fucked plenty; the ones he exchanges coin with do not allow such intimate gestures. He desperately wants to kiss her though.

He is surprised by her boldness when she leans in first. It is a quick peck to his lips, which she rapidly withdraws from, looking sheepish. He cups her cheek, coaxing her back and presses his mouth to hers with more pressure. She softens against the movement and for a moment it feels as though time has stopped for Osferth. There is only her. It is a kiss riddled with youthful inexperience and yet he does not think there has ever been anything better.

“Will you…” She mutters against his lips, clearly uneasy with attempting to ask for what she wants.

“Touch you?” He finishes for her.

“Yes,” She whispers, “I want to feel…” She places a hand over her face, giggling. “I have never laid with a man before. I do not know what to ask for.”

“It’s okay.” He reassures her. “I understand.” Osferth coaxes her to sit on his lap as she had the night of the storm, only this time there are no furs to cover them, and he rucks her skirt up around her hips, rather than slipping his hand beneath it.

“Take these off for me.” He says, plucking at her smallclothes.

She does as he instructs and he pulls her tight against him, her back flush with his chest as his arm snakes around her waist, dipping his hand between her legs. She is wet already and he cannot help the groan that escapes him as his fingers make contact with her core.

He circles her bud slowly and she clamps her mouth shut, cutting off the mewl that threatens to spill forth.

“You don’t have to be quiet this time.” He tells her, as she turns her face into his neck, her breath coming in hot puffs against his skin.

Tentatively he dips a finger into her entrance, conscious of the fact that she has never had anything inside of her before - the thought that he is the first makes him swell painfully hard against her rear as it presses back into his lap. Her grip on his digit as he inserts it is vice-like and he wonders how she’d feel squeezing around the length of him, if she ever allows him to take things that far.

He sets a steady rhythm of dragging his finger against a rough patch inside of her that causes sounds that are prettier than any of the songs he’s heard at æfensang to spill forth from her, while circling her pearl with his thumb.

She squirms against him, her arm reaching above and behind her to wrap around his neck, her fingers scrabble desperately at the back of his robes. Her jaw is slack, her eyes glassy and Osferth believes that if the Heavens could speak then her wanton cries of pleasure would be their mouthpiece.

She falls apart with a violent shudder, clenching ceaselessly around his finger and he withdraws it slowly as she begins to calm, continuing to hold her close. Though he is pleased to have brought her to peak, he feels disappointed that the moment is over so soon. He wants, needs, longer to enjoy her.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispers to her, pressing his face to her hair. “Will you allow me to taste you?”

“Taste me?” She asks, confusion etched across her pretty features. “I do not know what you mean.”

“I will show you.” He tells her, ushering her off of him and laying down. “Come here.”

There is no question in Osferth’s mind that he would ever allow her to lay upon the ground, she is too good for that. He will gladly let her sit atop him so that she never has to experience that indignity or discomfort.

He guides her to straddle him, pushing her upwards towards his face, but she falters.

“Osferth, I’ll crush you!” She protests, hovering above him.

“You won’t, my lady.” He tells her with a soft chuckle, tugging insistently at her thighs.

She relents, hovering over his face. “What are you going to…oh!”

He cuts her off, gripping her outer thighs and runs the flat of his tongue against her centre. He can taste the remnants of her previous climax and hums at the sensation. She is sweeter than honeyed wine, an essence so pure it must be holy.

Tugging her flush against his face he laps at her like a man starved, sucking harshly against her pearl, before licking hungrily through the slick that gathers as she whines and writhes above him. If there is a Heaven then he has found it between her thighs and never wants to leave.

He strains painfully against his breeches beneath his robes as she begins to lose control, grinding against each flick of his tongue. He knows she will not last long, already sensitive from his earlier attention and so he savours each moment; her taste, her scent, the feel of her against his mouth and how she moves against him. She is a vision of beauty beyond comprehension as she sits astride him, thread thrown back, moans of ecstasy offered up to the night sky.

She was created in the image of all things good and pure, and his journey so far has led him to her; she is made for him, of this he is certain as she reaches the apex of her pleasure. He swallows down her release like it’s communion wine. In her gratification he is cleansed, reborn.

Osferth lays her down carefully on her bed roll afterwards, covering her body with his own. She appears almost drunk as she gazes up at him, eyes heavy lidded with a soft smile upon her lips.

“My sweet girl,” He coos to her, softly stroking her face. “Can you take more? Will you let me inside?”

As she opens her mouth to answer, the raucous laughter of Finan can be heard in the near distance. The group is returning.

Osferth moves quickly away from her, laying down on his own sleeping mat, watching her as her eyes flutter closed. He hopes she will dream of him. He hopes they will have further opportunities to explore each other. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and she is the most precious mystery he has yet to encounter.

[elrielffs]

This is just a loose theorizing by me about Gwyn's role in the future books and how this ties to Azriel and an Elriel story.

It's not meant to be anti-Gwyn. I actually really like Gwyn as a character but it does incorporate Lightsinger Gwyn and for some, this is anti-rhetoric.

This is just me kicking things around in my noggin' and nothing concrete but just loose attachments.

Under the cut cause it's kinda long.

I was thinking about some of the details we've been given in story and some meta things from SJM's pinterest. I don't really subscribe to the pinterest as end all be all but I do think some things are very interesting on it.

I do think SJM is pulling from various fairytales and myths, particularly Blodeuwedd, Koschei the Deathless and other Russian folktales, and The Little Mermaid. We know SJM takes inspiration from fairy tales.

First we have Blodeuwedd which SJM saved titling Elain. The story of Blodeuwedd is that she was made to be the perfect wife of Lleu Llaw Gyffes but rejects him and falls in love with another, Gronw Pebr.

In the Koschei and the Deathless, we have Ivan Tsarevich who has 3 sisters that marry 3 winged wizards. Ivan saves Marya Morevna, a warrior princess, from Koschei and marries her.

I think the first two speaks for themselves on how they relate to ACOTAR so I won't delve to much into it but you can see how it relates to the story that is playing out.

Last is The Little Mermaid. We all know this story because of Disney and also it's probably one of the more well known fairy tales' but the broad strokes of the ORIGINAL telling is: The Little Mermaid falls in love with the human prince, makes a deal with the Sea Witch for her fins to be turned into legs to be with him on land, the prince falls in love with someone else, and the Mermaid is tasked by the Sea Witch with killing the prince to get her fins back but she can't do it because she loves the prince too much and instead turns into bubbles/foam/becomes an air spirit.

How does this relate to Gwyn?

Gwyn has been described many a time with ocean/water like imagery and has been stated to have nymph heritage. Her eyes are constantly described as the sunlit sea and she even says the quote," I am the rock on which the surf crashes."

We are also told about Lightsingers in the same book that Gwyn is introduced: They are ethereal beings who will lure their prey to them, appearing as friendly faces. Only when their prey were in their arms would their true faces emerge.

This shares many similarities to Sirens: creatures that live in or by the ocean, that lure victims to them with an alluring voice. Sirens have also become synonymous with mermaids, merging into one creature with siren and mermaid being used interchangeably to describe the one being.

Gwyn has show these same characteristics in story. Gwyn is shown to be a singer and have a beautiful voice and to also glow when she sings.

When Nesta hears Gwyn sing she describes it thus:

Drawing any listener in.

Nesta also says this about Gwyn upon first meeting her:

Gwyn also tells Nesta at one point that Nesta wouldn't like the "real" her.

I won't go too in depth to the Lightsinger theory because there are plenty of other posts floating around breaking it down better than me but suffice to say that there is a correlation between Gwyn's voice/singing=some type of power. This easily translates into Lightsinger/mermaid/siren imagery and theory.

Now this next part is just me spit balling and is more fast and loose and how this could tie into an Elriel story:

We don't know too much about Koschei in story except that he's a Death God and older brother to Stryga and the Bone Carver, beings who traveled from another world to Prythian (Daglan/Asteri?) and a powerful wizard that cursed Vassa.

At one point he tells Azriel he has "been preparing for you". What could this mean? Why has he been preparing for Azriel?

Why would Koschei, who is a powerful wizard, bargain with the Acheron's father, a human nobody? Is it because he is Elain's father?

Rhysand speculates that there's a possibility that the priestess have been infiltrated. We saw with Ianthe that not all priestess's harbor good intentions and in ACOWAR that the library can be broken into.

It has been highly speculated that Merrill, a priestess in the Library, is up to something. Is she in line with Koschei?

Who works under Merrill? Gwyn.

We know from HOFAS that the cauldron is corrupted by the Asteri/Daglan, a fact speculated by Azriel himself in the bonus chapter.

Is possible that Koschei as a Daglan/Asteri had a hand in corrupting the cauldron to mix up Elain's mates? Is that how Koschei "prepared" for Azriel?

And what about Gwyn working under Merrill? Gwyn could be manipulated and unknowingly assisting Koschei/Merrill or she could be working for them for some kind of favor--returning her sister Catrin to life?

Also, the fact that Gwyn and Catrin are twins can be used for shenanigan's. What if Gwyn is actually Catrin? (This is purely speculative on my part by the fact that they were made twins rather than just sisters.)

It's also mentioned that Catrin had webbed fingers. I love this little detail and wish Gwyn had them too but is there a reason she doesn't? Could this be to distinguish Catrin and Gwyn at a later date besides hair color?

Could Merrill/Koschei know about Gwyn's Lightsinger heritage and be using her as way to lure Azriel away from Elain?

What is one of the gifts Elain gets Azriel? Ear plugs.

We know it as a gag gift but we also know that Elain has visions--we don't know how fragmented or how fully she receives them but is is possible that she saw something that inspired her to give Azriel the ear plugs?

Is this to upset the balance of the 6 pointed star mentioned in HOFAS?

Could Gwyn, unknowingly or knowingly be working for Koschei to infiltrate the IC via Nesta and the training, lure Azriel away from Elain? Could Gwyn fall in love (this part is not needed, it can be just business on Gwyn's end) with Azriel but realize thru her connections with the Valkyries and training and Azriel that she can't go thru with it?

Let me reiterate, I don't think Gwyn is evil. I think she could be manipulated, coerced, or promised something she can't refuse to help or go along with Koschei/Merrill. She might not even know it's Koschei she is helping or that she is even in fact assisting. She could be manipulated into using her unknown Lightersinger powers.

Gwyn (the Mermaid) is promised/manipulated into using her Lightsinger powers by Koschei/Merrill (Sea Witch) to lure Azriel (the prince) away from Elain (the woman the prince loves) but the end she can't go thru with it either because she realizes it's wrong, realizes she's being manipulated or because she can't do that to Azriel.

I know there is more that can be conjected but this is already quite long and I didn't even delve into the Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty parallels.

I realize this could have been posted before and nothing new but I just wanted to put my thoughts out there and hear some more of my fellow Elriels!

[reading-stains]

soukoku fics: recs and reviews

look, i really like fanfiction. and i've always felt people sometimes don't give good enough reasons to actually read a lot of it. if you scroll down enough, you'll see i did that too. so i thought i'd help out some people that don't know what to read tonight. you'll notice i took my reviewing seriously hgdsafvkhagsv i'll add more in my reblogs as i go on with this review style, but for now, here are three fanfics that pushed me to do this. fair warning, they're long ones.

A Lesson in Thorns by arkastadt

Word Count: 454,556

Tags: Arranged Marriage, BSD Beast!AU, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Happy Ending, Ghosts, So Much Smut

Review:

As one of the longest fics I’ve ever read, it took me three days to read it, and a lot of lost sleep. A Lesson in Thorns is a journey that no one is truly prepared for. It’s surprising, I think, how one only notices the slow burn in the beginning, and forget they didn’t start out together in the end. So many things happen in the span of those fifty chapters, and so many feelings arise alongside their events. The reader watches Chuuya grow into himself, despite the haunting (hehe) that surrounds him by the end. Dazai becomes a man wishing to live, despite becoming a ghost of who he used to be. It’s quite magical, the way the story builds upon itself. What is usually some home, this piece makes an empire. 

This author appealed a lot to the wants and needs within these characters, making a paced build up to the challenges the characters face. Furthermore, there is a wonderful line of thought that is unwavering, consistent to the very end. The reader meets Chuuya getting ready to be married. A deal has been struck with the Port Mafia, and as the leader of the Sheep, Chuuya must marry their boss. A questionable and confusing task, but Chuuya has no more cards under his sleeve, and he has to save Shirase from the pending prison sentence. He walks into where he is to be married, looking to find a wrinkled, aging man. Instead, he faces the bandaged limbs and cunning eye of Dazai Osamu, and the story truly begins. 

The reader already knows it’s not a choice left for random that Dazai takes Chuuya under his wing. It’s already stated that on the first day in his position as the boss, right after killing Mori and sixteen months before he and Chuuya marry, he finds the redhead. A search that is broken down as the story unravels, and an effort that builds them and breaks them apart and puts them back together. 

This fanfic is clearly derived from a lot of the factors pointed in Bungou Stray Dogs’s BEAST light novel, which in my eyes makes it all the more interesting. I tried to give a short insight into the beginning with as much care as I could without creating any spoilers for the reading. I guess from me, all my notes just say it’s worth it. This fic really drags you through so many stages of feelings and excitements, and it builds off from them until you reach a new peak all over again. 

On Deathless Feet by AbsoluteNegation

Word Count: 71,848

Tags: Caretaking, Controlling Arahabaki, Canon-Divergence, Port Mafia and Post-Port Mafia, Smut

Review:

There are some stories that find themselves tucked into a hidden corner. It does not make them any less, and it does not make them any better, it just makes them quiet. Which in turn, when they are finally found, makes them all the more surprising. That is how I feel about On Deathless Feet, tucked in a corner of Ao3, and all incredibly surprising. 

Written with a nonlinear narrative, the reader meets the famed Double Black in different moments, recently met, in the middle of their rise through the ranks, at the brink of their end, after their disconnection with years of silence. AbsoluteNegation makes a wonderful story threaded in different moments, contextualizing their uncomfortable return to each other with interruptions back to their old lives before Dazai’s split from the Port Mafia. The author mainly focuses on Arahabaki, and Chuuya’s relationship with understanding the singularity as it slips out of control. Dazai is sent in to help counter it throughout their time together, and long stretches of contact are needed to get it down to normal. 

With a state of constant carataking, the two are thrusted into communion, needing to learn to accept living with each other for the time being. It isn’t a foreign feeling, seeing the other there, but at the end of the day it’s hard for the two with all that past. A past the author explores in detail just as much, not holding back on making it layered and pretty and very intense. They are creatures of passion, that’s what drives this ship and makes it so loved, and the author doesn’t shy away from building on it. Just as well, however, does the author place their own touch to their relationship, with the care and devotion the two also experiment between them. This fanfic is a welcomed balance to the rockier roads often explored surrounding these two. It never lacks sharpness, but it definitely warms the heart.

music for our funeral by itotypes

Word Count: 67,723

Tags: No Smut, Angst, 70s, Musicians!AU, Drug Abuse, References to Child Neglect, Songwriting, Artistic Lyricism

Review:

Music for our funeral by itotypes is a breathtaking composition, and there is not much like it. Set in the 70s, the author explores the surrounding setting of the rock genre, and writes a story of struggle and connection. Starting out with a run-away teenager, we meet Dazai’s lackluster perfection, the narrative often picturing him as a clinical artist. After leaving home, we watch him make himself something, and see him survive until he looks to live. Meanwhile, the other side of the piece plays with a striving perfectionist, and a reckless guitarist, in the form of Chuuya. The man comes from a struggling family (a stark contrast to the origins of his partner), and finds himself lost in the music. 

An interesting part of the story is that we get to know the characters before they meet. In a way, it allows the reader to explore the lives privy to the explosion, and before the pining and intensity that sparks between the two. One of the most appreciative factors that make this story one of my personal favorites is the usage of images throughout it. With beautiful lyrics exploring the essence of a character’s beliefs without them needing to admit it to themselves, there is a clear view into the conflicts and selfish needs that each character has. 

This author’s work is best described as an ode to music. It comes as a surprise at times, the way words fit together in reverence to this branch of artistry. Yet the fact that it’s done through another form of storytelling, through the use of words on a screen instead of notes on one’s ear, makes it all the more captivating. There is no question this is a must read. 

[artbyblastweave]

There’s a specific needle you need to thread when you’re doing an indie cape thing. One of the most common criticisms of Big Two comics is that the editorial structure guarantees that death, when it’s even allowed to happen in the first place, is immaterial. No one stays dead in comics but Uncle Ben, and even he’s been known to twitch on occasion. “Death that sticks” therefore becomes a lynchpin selling point for a lot of indie cape stuff. But the other side of this, which I don’t see acknowledged as often, is that if you create a cape setting that’s stupidly lethal, if capes are dropping left and right, if the average contender goes on two adventures before dying in action, that would seriously affect the norms of the setting! Fewer people would do it, you’d see different strategies, attitudes and presentations amongst the ones who do, and public attitudes towards the superheroic profession would be adjusted accordingly. It wouldn’t look very much at all like the prototypical superhero setting as we envision it. To be clear, a setting that deliberately embraces those shifts as part of a broad commentary on the prototypical dynamic is a fine idea, and I can think of several works in that vein. But if you do want to maintain the vibe of a big-two setting as part of your project, you need to thread the needle, creating a setting where superheroes do get killed, but not all the time.

When you adjust for how generally violent it is, Invincible actually becomes a notably deathless narrative, at least in its front half; civillian and grunt casualties abound, but after the Guardians- who are nothing but signposts- it takes until the Lizard League fiasco for another superhero to die, and it takes until The Invincible War for a superhero with any actual character development to die; the named-character kill count, or more accurately the characters-we’re-supposed-to-weigh-significantly kill count, skyrockets from there. On balance I’m prepared to call this a good thing; it allows the Guardians massacre to stand alone as a noteworthy event in the front half, and it cements the sense of increased stakes in the back half as Mark moves into higher and higher weight classes. That said, I do think that this does suboptimal things to the adaptation, which, not having hit any of the material in the back half, has run two seasons now without any casualties in Marks orbit that don’t turn out to be fakeouts. A couple of weeks ago I was bloviating about how the adaptation handled Shrinking Rae’s “death,” only to face plant when it turned out she survived in the adaptation; I’m now effortlessly pirouetting my criticism to be about the fact that they weren’t even wiling to axe a Mauve Shirt superhero in a way that reminds us that it’s actually a possibility, which of course was the point of Ray’s death in the original. It sort of creates this sense that the show is reproducing the annoying-big-two-ism of throwing around mass civilian casualty events that nonetheless rarely if ever directly connect with anyone in a costume- when in fact what’s happening is really more like the narrative analogue to a Popeye-style comically-extended windup punch.

[luminecent-sky]

Divinity of the deathless

Tw.: Character Death('you' die repeatedly), cursing

An:

Death loop AU, Impostor AU, Isekai AU, Cult AU

I wanted to try writing an impostor au for once.... yeah, this might become a series. idk tell me if you want it.

“-retrieved this notebook from the impostor, we think that it may contain valuable information on how they impersonated our god.”

 “Yes we’ll leave it here with you. Thank you for your time acting Grand Master.”

--------------- Excerpt from the ‘Memory Book’ taken from the impostor.

How long has it been? Weeks? Months? Years? Centuries?

.

.

.

I lost count after the past few loops, but i remember the first time like it was yesterday, it was jarring, one moment, I was laying in bed playing genshin, then I was dropped into this- this twisted version of the game I loved so much. 

The first time it happened, I remembered that I approached the city of Mondstat after gaining my bearings,[to think I was that naive] only to be attacked by the knights. They claimed that I was impersonating their god and that I was to be killed for my blasphemous actions. I couldn’t run fast enough. I was caught and placed in a cell, I think a week passed by before I was dragged out of my cell. 

They placed me in front of the Acting Grand Master..... I was interrogated for days... I kept repeating that I had no idea what or who this divine god of theirs was. It never stopped. [I still have no idea who that god is, were they mentioned in the lore?]

[i know who it is now... who would have thought that it was me? how was I supposed to know that the ‘god’ they were accusing me of impersonating was just myself????]

Either way, it ended... I was executed in front of the Venti statue, quick and painless.... well, as painless as it can get when they use a claymore to lob your head off. Hah, the funny thing was that Diluc was the one to kill me.... It looks like I raised him a little too well. It must have been those artifacts I gave him

I thought it would be over, I was going to die and pass on, or maybe wake up back home thinking that this was all a dream.

I did wake up, back in my room, I cried when I realized it. but the universe hates me, so not even 20 minutes later,I was back in this hell hole..... [it’s like the universe was laughing at me. After that, I always came back to my old world, minuets before everything went wrong. or was it trying to remind me of what I wanted to return to?]

--------------- End of excerpt from the ‘Memory Book’.

As the Acting Grand Master continues to read, her eyes widen at the new revelations she was uncovering, and the ‘Impostor’ stirs in their cell. 

‘Fuck... what loop am I on? I think I had it in my- fuck- where’s my notebook?’ 

Tagging:

@meimeimeirin​, @esthelily

[aroaessidhe]

Some more aromantic YA books

THE GRIMROSE GIRLS / boarding school/fairytale fantasy / one of the 4 MCs is aroace

FUNERAL GIRL / paranormal contemporary / aro-coded ace MC

FIRE BECOMES HER / historical fantasy / demi-demi MC 

THIS GOLDEN FLAME /  ancient greek insp high fantasy / aroace MC

ELATSOE / contemporary fantasy/paranormal / aro-coded ace MC

THE BUTTERFLY ASSASSIN / contemporary dystopian thriller / aroace MC (canon in 2nd book)

NOT YOUR BACKUP (sidekick squad #3) / contemporary superhero sci-fi / aroace-spec questioning MC 

NOT EVEN BONES / contemporary paranormal thriller / both MCs are probably aroace-spec, have qpr-like relationship (by book 3)

DEATHLESS DIVIDE / historical zombie fantasy / aroace MC (dual pov, she’s a side character in book 1)

*as a note, some of these only briefly explore aromanticism, and/or explore the ace part of the aroace character more. If you want more details on how much things are explored, see my database!    

[seaprofound]

Hot Take: so long as you're willing to adapt to another person's portrayal, it's perfectly fine to have a default interpretation of a certain character and their relationship with your muse.

and, by this, I don’t mean “oh, I really like the way my mutual portrays this character—so, we are now affiliated with each other”—I mean this is how you personally view said character without any outside influence.

to use myself as an example, I’ve always been vocal about preferring Medusa as how she was portrayed by Hesiod because—undying distaste for Ovid aside—there’s something just so heartwarming about a monster being loved tenderly by one of the deathless immortals. (the imagery of Po laying with Medusa in a soft meadow during the springtime will forever be engraved in my heart, okay.)

that said, I always felt sorta strangely guilty for also preferring Medusa’s true form to be that of a hideous monster—hideous in the same way as the Beast from Beauty and the Beauty, though, rather than having zero attractiveness whatsoever—because of how prevalent the interpretation of Medusa as a beautiful maiden generally is. (also, speaking of that interpretation, the idea that Medusa was once famed for her beauty did NOT begin with Ovid; it started becoming popular, in fact, with late classical poets that predate him—with one myth even claiming that Medusa was so vain, that she boasted that she was more beautiful than Athena. as a result, she got cursed—but I digress.)

the reason why I prefer the monster to be the true form rather than the maiden, btw, is because it’s more narratively powerful. feeling a strong kinship with monsters is a core aspect of Po’s identity—for a variety of factors—so, I like to interpret her romance with Medusa as not so much a straightforward Beauty and the Beast tale but rather as a case of two monsters finding a home in each other.

these thoughts are, by far, not my only ones on Medusa and Po’s relationship with her��I also have it so that Po didn’t sleep with Medusa in Athena’s temple, for example, because it would be OOC for her to do so based on how I write her—but they are the most prevalent ones that come to mind whenever I think about them.

to get back to my hot take: although I’ve had all these thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head for as long as I can remember, I’ve hesitated to make them part of my personal canon because what if a roleplayer who writes a certain character gets offended? like. “wow. who are you to dictate what my muse is like? 😤”

over the past couple of years, though, I realized how incredibly flawed that line of thinking is. people are going to have their own unique interpretation of your muse before ever interacting with and learning about yours. it’s inevitable. that doesn’t make them selfish any more than it makes your interpretation inferior.

people are going to see characters differently and that’s the beauty of roleplay.

so long as we can respect each other’s differences, we should be okay.

[dmbakura]

I need a palate cleanser after reading really dumb opinions and I really like your analysis- What's your take on Cazador's detect thoughts monologue (as in, what it means?)

And if you feel up to it id also love seeing your take on astarions spawn epilogue when he talks about accepting himself and not obsessing over the choices people have made for him, because ive also seen varying opinions on what it means somehow :P

Cazador's "the monster that will not end" dialogue, right? Cazador I find a really fascinating character even though most of him and his backstory is left up to interpretation/hc. This monologue in particular I feel demonstrates Cazador is just as trapped in the cycle of violence that he perpetuates.

"These deathless dreams hold memories of a mortal life once-forgotten. Of the boy I was, the man I became, the monster that will not end. I sleep, but cannot rest. I live, but cannot die. I am eternal, and I grieve."

It seems like pretty straightforward vampire angst to me. In dnd becoming a true vampire can basically rot your brain (amplifying obsessions and warping/diminishing emotions) and it sounds like Cazador is actually very self aware about what he is. We know he was essentially groomed by Vellioth too, so I feel like that plays into it as well. Mostly, I feel like he's just tired and old and desperate for an out. You would HAVE to be desperate to take contracts from devils (they prey on that shit too.) Once he's defeated, even in the version of his ending where Astarion is there, he doesn't really make much of an effort to resist either? Idk, I feel there's some level of grieving that he couldn't have been different? Fulfilled in some other way? Not that I think he's sympathetic or has any real chance of redemption, but I feel there are several humanizing aspects of Cazador that often go overlooked, and he does serve as a pretty harrowing mirror image to how Astarion could have turned out (or does turn out in the ascended ending.)

As for Astarion's epilogue. "I spent too long defined by what other people did to me. The choices other people made for me - but that's over now." Well let's just say I think it's a really beautiful perfect summation of his character arc (that apparently goes over some people's heads........ 🤭)

[voidcommascreamintothe]

Cassian is not going to die in the next acotar book, what are y’all on?

I’m talking about acotar again. I gotta. The thoughts must be let out!

Come, walk with me here.

I’ve seen a couple of tiktoks saying that Cassian is likely to die, or that he is fated to die. But I am convinced that media literacy is much lower than the experts thought, because some of the arguments are just… inaccurate interpretations of canon?

My arguments are as follows:

1. Elain saying it wouldn’t take much to kill him, was only in the context of the battle with Hybern. And i know this because acotar was supposed to be a trilogy!!! You dont even need to read between the lines here, you just have to read. It was supposed to end with Wings and Ruin. It was planned out and plotted as a trilogy; altho i am partly convinced that Maas never intended the books to continue past the first one (more on that another time). Elain either saw that Cassian dies and intervened because she saw that his death leads to Nesta’s death, or she warned him, to let him know that he is not infallible. His death means Nesta will probably die too, as is established when Nesta refuses to leave Cassian and covers his body with hers, so Elain warned him to not do anything stupid. Altho the fae people have long lives, they are not Deathless. They can still die. So that warning of Elain’s, only served as a reminder to Cassian.

2. We have canonical resurrections. Rhysand died and came back. All three Archeron sisters died and came back.

2.1. We also get a cop-out. Near the end of acosf, when Bryarlin is controling him, he turns the knife on himself and pretends to fall to his death, so that Nesta can unleash her power to its fullest. This fake “Cass dying” scenario happens like two or three times over the course of the books. It would be poor cheap writing on Mass’s part if it happens AGAIN. And poor and cheap writer she is not.

3. What would be the point?

No, i am serious here. Narratively, what purpose would a Major Character Death serve at this point in the story? When has an important character died, and stayed dead in these books?

I truly believe that Amren’s death would’ve served a narrative purpose. If she sacrificed herself - and stayed dead- for the sake of everyone else, it would’ve been definitive proof that she was more fae than cold blooded monster. She was not one for sentiments and warm hugs. This act would have been her showing just how much she changed, how much the love she received from her friends changed her for the better. But no, she gets scooped up from the magic cookware and becomes yet another powerful female character that looses her powers.

Side eye. Major side eye to Maas for that one.

And thats for Amren, a secondary character. I do not for one second believe that permadeath is in the cards for any of the acotar characters.

4. Maas got her start in writing Sailor Moon fanfics. Do you think that someone who writes Sailor Moon fanfics would NOT write a HEA?

Ok this is more of a meta-textual reading of the text, looking at the bigger picture and incorporating details from real life into the contextual interpretation of the text, but it is important still.

Maas’s stories are high fantasy with a hard magic system and also a focus on love and loving relationships between people. Throne of Glass specifically, but the Maasverse generally, follow this kind of pattern and genre. A Court of Thorns and Roses is much more of a Romantic Fantasy. Romantic not as in smut, but as in Princess Bride. Romantic as in the Romantic movement in literature. It is idealistic. It shows a world through pink lenses in the shape of love hearts. It is much more of a 80s or 90s fantasy movie than anything else.

Game of Thrones these books are not. GRRM, Sara is not. The tonal shift that would come with a Major Character Death would be jarring. It would be off putting to a lot of the core audiences, and if Maas doesn’t see this, then Bloomsberry does. Or someone on her team does. If they cut a threesome scene, citing messiness and over complicating character relationships, then they most likely advise to stick with the status quo: HEA.

Love and loving connections is a huge part of the plot in Sailor Moon. The meaning of love, life, bonds with other people, all of this warm fuzzy way of telling a story is the point of the immaculate conception of Maas’s world building. She will bot go against it. It is not within her style nor her pattern of storytelling.

4.1. My loves, Aelin made it out of the box. Aelin got her happy ending with Rowan by her side and a crown on her head. Her Majesty the Queen of Therassen, got out of the box and got her happy ending- without her powers (side eye) but that is for another post. We were worried for a second there, but it was a HEA at the end wasn’t it?

When Maas said that we should be worried for Hunt, (or Rhun really, both are in a bit of a pickle at the point the story left them), I am confident she meant we should worry for them in the same way we were worried for Aelin. Who went through hell, but came back. To her HEA. Do you see what in putting down?

4.2. I also don’t really have a way of saying this, but smutty romantasy books do not kill off their breeding pairs. The style/subgenre of smutty romantasy does not come with main girl/boy death. Side characters, maybe; parrents or siblings (often off-screen) definitely.

But not your breeding pair. Cmon. We’ve read enough of those books to see the established pattern right girls?

I am by no means an athority on ACoTaR lore. Im just a girl in the world, reading smut. But I do have reading comprehension skills. Well developed ones, in thanks to all that classic literature i read as assigned reading in school. If I can analyze the motivations and traits of Raskolnikov and the original Lady Marmalade, as well as accurately surmise the plot of War and Peace, a book that gave me no peace and gives me war flashbacks, then a book about hot people having hot skysex is not an issue babez, truly it is not.

Bonsoir.

[sweetshire]

Friend, mutual, beloved.

I am having Feelings about Eowyn of Rohan and the "what do you fear" exchange and I have no place to put them to avoid becoming a puddle of overwhelm on the floor of a storage closet in Retail Hell.

*ugly cries all over your dash*

*vibrating with excitement* hi, my friend!! You have come to the right place. I am literally always having feelings about eowyn. God, where do i even begin abt that exchange?? Honestly, i LOVE this convo sm bc i relate to it. I know that feeling of desperation and of anger all too well. I’ve stood in her place & i’ve felt it in my bones. It has me in such a chokehold even now. Top three eowyn moments for sure. Perfectly encapsulates what i love abt her. Not to mention miranda otto’s excellent acting in this scene. Her eyes express her feelings sooo well. The resentment. The bitterness. The anger. The despair. You can feel everything she’s felt, she feels about her life and the ‘duty’ that has been imposed on her in your veins.

Here, look at a couple of lines of hers, what a badass:

“All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honour, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more.”

“But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund's daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.” Look at that quiet determination! How can u not be in love w her?!

Don’t even get me started abt her character arc, it’s my fav in all of lotr and we’ll be here all day if i start talking lol. Anyway, i’m SO glad u sent this message <3. Hmu if u wanna chat abt her, i’m always up for it. Also, thank u for giving me this chance to ramble on lolll i’m sure you didn’t ask for this.

*rushes to look up some posts to share with you* keep an eye on your dash, snazz, imma reblog a bunch of posts abt her

[thevalleyisjolly]

Another theory: Sutekh is an aspect of the Beast (from Season 2 "The Impossible Planet"/"The Satan Pit"). Apart from being voiced by the same actor (Gabriel Woolf), both Sutekh and the Beast use very similar language when they speak. Compare the words and the cadence of their speeches at the ends of "The Impossible Planet" / "The Legend of Ruby Sunday."

The Beast:

These are the words of the Beast. And he has woken. He is the heart that beats in the darkness. He is the blood that will never cease. And now he will rise. […] He has woven himself in the fabric of your life since the dawn of time. Some may call him Abaddon. Some may call him Kroptor. Some may call him Satan or Lucifer. Or the Bringer of Despair, the Deathless Prince, the Bringer of Night. These are the words that shall set him free. I shall become manifest. I shall walk in might. My Legions shall swarm across the worlds. I am the sin and the temptation and the desire. I am the pain and the loss and the [unclear]. I have been imprisoned for eternity. But no more. The Pit is open. And I am free.

Sutekh:

He has hidden in the howling void. He has hidden within the tempest. He has braved the storm and the darkness and the pain. And he whispered to the vessel. All this time, he whispered and delighted and seduced, and the vessel did obey, for none should be more mighty and none should be more wise than the King himself. And the Lord of Time was blind and vain, and knew nothing. But in every dream, I’m there. [...] And standing on high is the mother and father and other of them all. For the god of all gods has returned. And his names are many. His name has been Set. And Seth. And Sithifer. And his one true name for evermore is… Sutekh! Sutekh is the god of death, and by his hand, all creation shall fall into dust and ashes and ruin! I bring Sutekh's gift of death to all humanity. I am Sutekh, the god of death. I am the night. I am the terror. I am the loss. And all life will perish at my hand! […] I bring Sutekh's gift… of death… for you and for all your tiny, vile, incessant universe!

Both speeches are similar in cadence and structure. The way they switch between third person and first person. How the speeches are structured - the entity stating where they've been; the targeted attacks against specific characters (cut from the first excerpt but the Beast makes jabs at different characters while Sutekh calls the Doctor "blind and vain" and boasts about how little he knows); the assertion of their presence; the announcement of their titles; the declaration of their intent; a personal reassertion of their powers. There's a claim to omnipresence, and specifically an interfering and personal omnipresence - "He has woven himself into the fabric of your life" vs "But in every dream, I'm there." The cadence with which both the Beast and Sutekh have their servants announce their titles, with each name given its own moment of emphasis. The specific syntax with which they boast about their claimed spheres of influence - "I am the sin and the temptation and the desire. I am the pain and the loss." vs "I am the night. I am the terror. I am the loss."

It's relevant to note that "The Impossible Planet" / "The Satan Pit" were written by Matt Jones, not RTD, which to me makes it far less likely that the similarities in language are a case of "same writer, same writing style 20 years later." And particularly with a finale two-parter and how deliberate everything is, there's seems something very intentional about how much the speeches and the style parallel each other.

Other coincidences/possible points of connection:

Both the Beast and Sutekh use similar tactics, possessing/planting sleeper agents in place ahead of time, who are then visibly transformed as their masters speak through them to announce their presence

The Beast claimed that it had "woven himself into the fabric of your life since the dawn of time." The image of Susan Triad was woven into the Doctor's travels across time and space, no matter where he and Ruby went

Carla, upon seeing Sutekh in the Time Window, exclaims "I know its name. It's the Beast!"

When Colonel Chidozie is murdered in the Time Window, he says "I am lost. I am in Hell. It's seen me. It's seen right into my soul. And it's so old..." Both the Beast and Sutekh explicitly claim to be "the loss" in their speeches and both claim to be inside people's lives/minds. At the same time, Sutekh's realm isn't really associated with the afterlife, either in ancient Egyptian mythology or in the Doctor Who universe. What is explicitly tied to the concept of Hell though - Satan, one of the identities claimed by the Beast, and...

In "Pyramids of Mars," "Satan" is said to be one of the names that Sutekh has had. Also, in "The Satan Pit," the Beast claimed to be all the devils of every religion, the truth behind the myth. If Sutekh was ever seen as a Satan or devil figure (according to the in-universe lore), then according to the Beast's claim, he should be the true idea behind Sutekh.

In Ten's monologue to the Beast, he says this line, "I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods, and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing, I believe in her." Sutekh, in "The Legend of Ruby Sunday," makes a point of listing a pantheon of different god-like entities, many of whom the Doctor has faced before, before saying "And standing on high is the mother and father and other of them all. For the god of all gods has returned."

Sutekh claims to have hidden in "the howling void." The Beast was defeated by being sent through a black hole. Black holes in science fiction are often theorized to be gateways to other universes, while the Void in the Doctor Who universe is specifically said to be the space between universes, dimensions and realities. The Tenth Doctor also explicitly states in "Army of Ghosts" that most people call the Void "Hell." In addition, the genre shift and the Toymaker's re-introduction into the universe was instigated by the Doctor and Donna's encounter with the Not-things in Doctor Who at the very edge of the universe by the Void.

Outside of the in-universe lore, I think RTD said somewhere in an promo interview that he'd been planning some of the things in this episode for a while? As mentioned above, Gabriel Woolf voices both Sutekh and the Beast - what's interesting to note is that Sutekh came first. Gabriel Woolf was the original voice of Sutekh in "Pyramids of Mars" and was much later cast as the Beast in the 2005 revival before now reprising his role once again as Sutekh. Perhaps RTD was playing with the idea of bringing back Sutekh at some point and laid some potential foundations by casting the same actor in a similar role, just in case the opportunity arose in the future to organically take the story there?

[EDIT] Also, in "The Impossible Planet," it was established that the Beast's writing was beyond the ability of the TARDIS to translate. In "The Legend of Ruby Sunday," it appears that Sutekh is powerful enough to overpower the TARDIS.

I've seen a couple of early reactions to the episode commenting that as per Sutekh's lore, he's a very powerful Osirian but not necessarily any greater as a god-like figure than the other entities he mentioned. However, if Sutekh is one of the Beast's aspects (perhaps the Beast first insinuated himself into Sutekh's mythology when Sutekh first began gaining power and then later took over the Sutekh identity more fully when they both found themselves in the Void?), his claim of ascendancy over the other gods carries a little more water - the devil figure across multiple belief systems, one constant idea made manifest in this entity.

Does it make a narrative difference if it's really the Beast behind everything instead of Sutekh? As of yet, probably not - the stakes are still extremely high either way and neither of these entities want good things for the universe. The only thing I can currently think of that might give a reason for the Beast as the real hidden antagonist is the Doctor's assertion during "The Satan Pit" that out of all the gods in existence, he believes in Rose. If Sutekh is the Beast and is specifically seeking revenge against the Doctor, one of the biggest blows he could try to deal him is to attack his faith in his companions by revealing that Ruby was his vessel all along - Susan Triad did not seem to be aware that she was Sutekh's tool until the end, so Ruby could very genuinely not know (or remember?) that she was part of Sutekh's grand design.

In any case, Sutekh's speech just tickled something in my brain when I heard it, and I found it interesting how similar the language and the style of his reveal was to the Beast's speech at the end of "The Impossible Planet."

[pseudoquiddity]

"Clara is Going to Kill Mark" (the theory)

Mark Immortell as one of the few potentially linear characters in Pathologic 2 is fascinating to me and I've been ruminating on it for a while, so here's my attempt to put it down into words. This does require looking at Mark a little more closely, but I'll get there.

I think it's necessary to clarify that I'm reasonably certain Mark Immortell is some format of Koschei the Deathless, an archetypical antagonist in eastern Slavic folklore. This is less concerned with him literally being responsible for, say, capturing a princess some hundreds of years ago, and moreso the implications of both Koschei and Mark in narrative structure, since Mark in the game is all about the impact of stories. Mark as Koschei isn't anything new, but here are my (opinionated) sources:

Бессме́ртный (Deathless) and Бессмертник (Translated for eng. as Immortell) are very similar.

A needle touch quote only available in the prologue, "His death is hidden inside a needle, which is in an egg, which is in a duck..." In folklore, Koschei's death is rumored to be hidden inside these exact layers, plus some.

Mark's my path line, heard only on the first day, "I had several paths and liked none. One had me as a beast-man; another as a hunchback; the third... as the indentured servant of some outside force." Folktales are messy and don't always agree, especially when it comes to Koschei. Very often, Koschei's described as physically abnormal - beastlike, overly-scrawny, hunched. You name it. He's also a slave to Baba Yaga in Hellboy, if that's the exact reference ... but there's precedent to Koschei existing among or being captured by greater powers.

With that settled, here's the Koschei paradox: In every single story he's featured as the main antagonist in, he dies. And yet, the general assumption of him as a transcendental facet of Slavic folklore is that he's immortal. Despite the fact that he's died around three times, one for each concrete Koschei story that exists, he's immortal - it's an accepted fact of his character, and any media inspired by or using Koschei as a character solidifies this. If Mark Immortell is Koschei, he's immortal through a funny little story-telling fluke made possible through many iterations and generations of story telling.

Mark talks about the role of characters in a narrative perspective and how, despite the fact that the Player has died any number of times, the Haruspex is one cohesive story about a man who is essentially human and has never died. The similarity between what Mark is doing with the Player/Haruspex and what Mark has (in theory) gone through to become immortal is because Mark is actively trying to explore immortality as he knows it, as he's experienced it.

Here's an idea:

Mark Immortell: The actor gets into the role so deeply, they become the original. If charged particles can charge their nature, why wouldn't the same apply to the people charged with the same idea, dream, or bad fortune?

The concept that Mark is driving at is that the "original" Haruspex is the Artemy Burakh that is actively running through the streets. When that Artemy dies, he becomes a "prototype" for the newest Artemy actor to look toward. When that actor surpasses the "original-turned-prototype," he becomes the "original." Not as-good-as, but legitimately the original. Looking at this from the Koschei theory, perhaps Koschei's continuation usurps his deaths. Who knows? I believe that the Haruspex is only one part of Mark exploring immortality, with the Bachelor as the next step. But we do know that the most genuine we see Mark is in the Deal ending, when he's furiously expressing that he doesn't know what it's like to "brush against death." He then says that he's moving on to the Bachelor.

Here's another little tid-bit:

Haruspex: Are you human? Mark Immortell: Can't you tell? If I weren't, I'd never be stuck in this hellhole … 'All this,' as you put it, started because of you, not me. I just took the chance to experiment in the heart of this triumph of death.

Humanity here, as defined by: none of the characters are humans because they're characters. That being said, they are human because you need to believe they are for the story, so within the framework of the game, they're human. Ergo, Mark Immortell is as human as Bad Grief, or any other person therein. Ergo, Mark Immortell is "human," and also very much someone in the town.

The difference between P1 Mark and P2 Mark is that, in P1, he was content to idle, but now, in P2, he's "experimenting." P2 could mechanically exist without Mark, the implication here being that Mark is willfully working within to meet his own interests/ends. I think this would also explain why he's both within and outside the town, as someone whom you could complain to Saburov about, in theory, but also someone who has no personal life.

To summarize: Mark is Immortal through a quirky trick of storytelling; He's exploring this through you, the Player; His theories are evolving linearly; He wants to brush with death in a meaningful way; and he's still just a character and knows this.

Finally circling back around to the preface, while the vast majority of characters will grow differently over three routes, Mark is in the unique position of progressing through P1 -> P2 Haruspex -> P2 Bachelor -> P2 Changeling linearly, or, really, with the Player. He's experiencing the games as they're produced, the same way we are. I believe that, in the upcoming Bachelor's route, he'll progress but come to the same conclusion as he has with the Haruspex - the production was a success, but it's not quite what he wants; in the same way that the Haruspex and the Bachelor preserve their own parts of the town but can't have everything. Contrarily, the Changeling can have everything, and in her route, Mark Immortell will come to a conclusion that satisfies him. With it being the final P2 game, he (and the Player) will finish his arc and tie up the loose ends of his "experimentations."

That's all a fine discussion on Mark, but here's the theory, here at the end:

Katerina Saburova: If it's the same sickness, all measures are pointless. Wishful thinking; delusional actions. For it's clear what we're dealing with. Fire from heaven. The Great Flood. No one shall be spared, save for the ten righteous men.

Personally, I don't think Katerina knows what she's talking about. Her prophecies are fairly hit-and-miss because of her connection with the Rat Prophet, and this is at the start of the game before she goes through anything, but "the ten righteous men" ... I'd bet she's referring to the Humble faction. Since I'm guessing, I'll assume that these people are righteous because they're martyrs, not because the plague will spare them (though Clara will be sparing them from a death by plague, so Katerina might be right, in her own convoluted way). ... But in P1, there were nine people, not ten. So who's the extra?

You know where I'm going with this. It's not likely to be Block, since Aglaya was never subsumed into the Haruspex's official Bound. Vlad the Younger seems to be pretty firmly a Utopian, based on either when he dies in the pit or in his ending. In both, he discusses future aspirations and utopias and still seems to function as the hopeful capitalist. Clara herself could be a part of the Bound, either her or her sister, and in that case ... I don't know. Maybe she has to decide which "her" will be sacrificed. That's neat. But I'm going to bet it's Mark.

Here's why: He's a character. He admitted it himself. And all substantial characters are beholden to arcs and change. I also think that, in his trials to brush death, he'll have to literally brush death. Maybe finally shake the Fellow Traveler's hand. By finding how immortality works through Clara, he himself will be sacrificed. In P1, he aligned with Utopians because, as a semi stand-in for the developers, the pursuit of an unorthodox story/game is Utopian by nature. It's a tongue-in-cheek way of condemning Utopianism all while admitting to the aspiration of it. In P2, he's described as "having once been content with playing a fool and is now set with a personal goal in mind." A change in goals would be a good reason for a change in faction.

How cool would it be, for the game's main tormenter and someone who at least feels omnipotent from the perspective of the Player (even though he says he isn't) to end up dead? At the end of it all? He runs narrative-structure circles around you for three routes and then you wrap it all up with wrapping him up, so to speak.

You've made it. You're done with three Pathologic routes. For the last and final time, you leave, and you leave without Mark's instruction or the haunting promise of another try.

[rhaenella]

Ed Speleers: Filmography 2010-2023 🎥

Deathless (2010) — John Ray

A Lonely Place to Die (2011) — Ed

“It was certainly a physical experience, definitely. I think from a stunt element, I try to do as much as producer jurisdiction would allow me to do. But you can’t take any credit away from a fantastic stunt team, and Jamie Edgell was a brilliant stunt coordinator. […] Wherever possible I tried to be as hands-on and do as much as Julian [director] wanted me to do.” [x]

The Ride (2011) — Student

Metamorphosis: Titian (2012) — Actaeon

“I was very excited to get involved. I think the initial reaction was to see Luke and Remi [directors] and seeing some of their previous work was what really drew me in at first. And then you start looking at the National Gallery, and then you start realising that Titian is, obviously, a fantastic artist. To be able to recreate one of the great paintings was a fantastic opportunity for me.” [x]

Love Bite (2012) — Jamie

“My mum told me I was always comfortable with nudity as a kid, but I think as I got older I’ve become rather uncomfortable with it. It’s one of those things where the director just comes up to you ‘right, Ed, today you’re naked, and you will be running through the streets of Glasgow’ – ‘alright, okay, let’s do it, yeah fine’. And the cameras are rolling, and whilst they’re rolling you think nothing of it. But it’s when the cameras go off and cut, you suddenly look around and there’s fifteen men in North Face coats with cigarettes and big, burly beards just staring at you, and you think ‘yeah, I’m definitely naked, alright then, wicked’.” [x]

Turncoat (2013) — Nathan Reece

Plastic (2014) — Sam

Downton Abbey (2012-2014) — Jimmy Kent

“It was a very special time working on the show. But the character himself wasn’t at the forefront. When you’re downstairs, and Julian Fellowes, the writer, his emphasis is on the upstairs – that’s the world he knows very well. And the downstairs characters quite often bridge the gap between upstairs and downstairs, but you’re not always front and centre, which is fine. You’re part of an ensemble, part of the process. And actually, there I had to learn how to be a part of an ensemble, or learn how to be a part of the big scene, maybe not having to say a great deal all the time but learning how to be present. Learning how to be on the ball. Learning how to respond to others, whether it be very subtle looks or whether it be just learning how to play a little bit.” [x]

Wolf Hall (2015) — Edward Seymour

Howl (2015) — Joe

Partners in Crime (2015) — Carl Denim

Interview with Ed for BBC’s Saturday Kitchen hosted by James Martin. James: Your character is like a playboy character, would that be right? Ed: I wouldn’t say playboy… James: Rides a motorbike? Ed: He rides a motorbike, yeah… He rides a motorbike. [Audience laughs] James: I know this cause he [Ed] didn’t ride a motorbike. Ed: No, no… I unfortunately couldn’t ride the motorbike. I’m really rock ‘n roll, clearly. It was a beautiful bike as well, a Triumph Tiger. So, I think, at some point, you will see a shot of me riding off on the bike and then it’ll cut to a slightly wider back. [x]

Remainder (2015) — Greg

Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) — James Harcourt

“Getting to work with some of the people that are involved was a key element, and knowing I was gonna get scenes with Mia Wasikowska was a massive drawcard. I think as a young actor, it’s not just about scripts sometimes, it’s who you might be able to be rubbing shoulders with and in the sense of who you might be able to bounce off with. And also, working with James, it was a real delight to work with James Bobin. I thought he was a wicked director, really in touch with comedy and comedic timing. For me, it was a nice opportunity to get together with some really good people so, it made sense to me to do it.” [x]

Beowulf: Return to the Shieldlands (2016) — Slean

Interviewer: Slean is very angsty and frustrated when we meet him. Do we discover any new layers to him as well? Ed: I hope so. I suppose that depends on how well I play him, really. But I think characters – good characters always have some sort of light and dark anyway, and I don’t think it’s a clear-cut case of him being a bad guy. Yes, he’s angsty, but he’s got a lot to be angry about. [x]

Breathe (2017) — Colin Campbell

The House That Jack Built (2018) — Ed

“It was like being on a stage. There was nothing to worry about. […] We were allowed to do whatever we wanted, and we kind of tore the place apart. You could feel the camera coming in close, you could feel it going wide. It was such a liberating way to work. […] He [von Trier – director] gave me one note: ‘can you get some chewing gum?’ Not because my breath stank by the way, it wasn’t because of that. It was because he just wanted the detail of the chewing gum, he said, ‘try that’. And a mate and I went to go and watch it, because I was curious to see how the whole film had turned out, and he was like ‘mate, you chewing gum, what a great move’, and I was like, ‘yeah, yeah, I thought that’d be good’. [Laughs] No, I did go on to tell him it was Lars von Trier’s idea. But I thought, that tiny detail, I was a small supporting role but to have little ideas like that, they are minute details and behaviour things, I suppose. But it shows someone who’s got great attention to detail to be able to offer that up.” [x]

Zoo/Death Do Us Part (2018) — John

For Love or Money (2019) — Johnny

Outlander (2018-2020) — Stephen Bonnet

“His physicality is immensely important. I looked at a lot of rockstars. Because I think a lot of frontmen and rockstars, don’t quote me, they have sociopathic/psychopathic tendencies. [Laughs] There’s something about a frontman, like Liam Gallagher or Mick Jagger, and all of those… I’m not saying I took directly from them, but I think I did try and play with the notion of Stephen Bonnet being this 18th century rockstar. I mean… I just did. [Laughs] I thought with the piracy thing and everything, but then you intertwine that with the fact he also considers himself a gentleman, that to me just sounds like a modern-day rockstar. That sort of confidence that they exude, that’s where a lot of the swaggering element came from.” [x]

Against the Ice (2022) — Bessel

You (2023) — Rhys Montrose

“The difficulty was how to place myself, mentally, in that state of being tortured. What that would be like, what substitutions I could find and what power of imagination I could use. […] But I think we [Penn Badgley and I] had a really strong respect for one another and what one another was trying to do. And actually, we just trusted each other. So, when you get to a scene like that, it all comes down to trust. And he’s so great to act against – it’s not minimum requirement because that’s lazy and I don’t think that’s true. But if you offer yourself over to someone who is going for it inherently, something is gonna work, something is gonna happen.” [x]

Star Trek: Picard (2023) — Jack Crusher

“I think the time period is one thing, and obviously you have to adapt to that, but I feel that the skillset is still the same. You need to be applying to what’s the script telling me? What’s the character telling me? What am I feeling, what am I thinking? ‘How am I gonna get out of this situation?’ is normally what Jack’s thinking. […] But what I did feel early on in some of those scenes was: I can’t let other people down here. I’m stepping up to the plate with some big heavy hitters who know this inside out and they’re not gonna, even if they’re the nicest people in the world, which they are, they’re not gonna take prisoners or suffer fools gladly. So, you’ve got to match them and you’ve got to surpass that as well, I felt. I relish that because I felt it tuned into Jack as well. So, it was a lovely little way for me to step into something that was like, ‘Okay, come on there, guys. What have you got? I’m gonna bring you this. Let’s see what you guys have got. Let’s have some fun and let’s play.’ And I love that.” [x]

[adarkrainbow]

So... I have watched "The Last Bogatyr"! Sorry, "The Last Knight/The Last Warrior/The Last Hero". The 2017 movie.

Due to the recent world events, I had to pause away from anything related to Russian folklore - but I still will dip my fingers into it from time to time.

If you do not know about this movie, "The Last Warrior" is a 2017 Russian movie part of the "fairytale fantasy" category, and... it is one of the rare movies produced by the Russian branch of the Disney Company (in collaboration with the Russian company "Yellow, Black and White"). The title is actually weirdly translated because the whole focus on the story is on the "bogatyr" - a type of semi-historical semi-legendary character of Russian culture who could be best compared to the Knights of the Round Table in the Arthurian world. They are not knights in the Western sense of the world, though they do fill their role in the traditional fairytales as the heroic military warriors that kill monster and save princesses ; and merely calling them "heroes" is a bit too vast for the very specific thing they are. Anyway...

The Last Bogatyr is a typical "portal fantasy" type of story. In modern-day Russia (there's a reference to the President, and this made me grit my teeth, because fuck Putin), lives Ivan, a famous star-magician, professional medium and dedicated scammer, who poses as "Svetozar, the wizard of light". But one day, after fleeing from the goons of a person he ended up pissing off, Ivan finds himself teleported in "Belogoria", the world of Russian fairytales.

There he is welcomed by Dobrynya Nikitich, and discovers he is not an orphan as he always believed but the son of Ilya Muromets, send to another world as a baby. (Dobrynya and Ilya are two of the most famous bogatyr of legends) However he is soon imprisoned by Dobrynya's sorcerous wife, the witch-queen Varvara, and discovers that almost all of the supernatural beings of Belogoria have been hunted down and persecuted by Varvara's crusade against all things "evil". This forced the once great villains of the land to become heroes against the tyrannical oppresor, and as such Ivan (because of course, as the main hero he has to be called Ivan) is forced to team up with Koschei the Deathless and Baba-Yaga to subvert Varvara's evil plans. Other folktales character that join the party include The Frog Princess/Vasilisa the Wise, and the Vodianoy ; and the purpose of their quest is to find the legendary "Kladenets sword" (magical sword).

This movie is... weird. Not weird in a "cult movie" type of way, no, no. This movie definitively is Russian and feels Russian, but at the same time it has Disney smeared all over it. As in: the plot and character types of this movie are all the cliches and stereotypes of Disney live-action fantasy movies. If you just take Ivan's character here - he is just a recycled version of the Wizard of Oz from Disney's "Oz The Great and Powerful". Once you understand you are in a "typical Disney movie", you can easily guess and expect what is going to happen. (Except for the very end, which has a real twist. It is the post-credit scene, if I recall well, and oh boy I did NOT see that coming, that was good) So yes, if you are used to Disney movies, in the likes of Tangled or Pirates of the Caribbean or the like, you'll know exactly where this movie is going.

Despite being very generic in terms of plot and character handling, being a very Disneyified product, this movie has the great interest of showing how Disney would handle the Russian fairytales. It is not everyday you can say "I watched the Disney version of Baba-Yaga" or "I watched Disney's take on Vasilisa the Wise". Plus the movie does look pretty, I will not lie. On the other side, this is definitively a movie for kids and all audiences. It is a semi-humoristic movie, a fantasy-comedy mostly filled with jokes (but one that won't make you "laugh out loud", and not one I would call the funniest movie). There is no gore, no brutal violence, no adult jokes. The "softening" or "Disneyification" is especially seen by the handling of Koschei and Baba-Yaga, who lose the darkness, the horror and the morbid typically associated with them and become comical side-characters, fitting more your typical Disney cast of anti-heroes and funny sidekicks... But don't get me wrong, it does not mean they are done wrong. In fact, Baba-Yaga, Vasilisa, Koschei are without a doubt the BEST parts of his movie.

Because Ivan, the protagonist, is one of the most insufferable characters I have ever met. He is a bad man (morally speaking) as much as a bad character (writing speaking). He is a jerk that has nothing pleasant to him, his moments of "goodness", "kindness" and "heroism" are SO artifical and SO forced it feels out-of-character for him. I understand he is supposed to embody the archetype of "Ivan the Fool", and they do relie in some scenes on the fact he is indeed not a hero but a cowardly, idiotic jerk... But then in other scenes he suddenly becomes this great hero hidden underneath and this kind man that just looks like a pathetic idiot and... yeah I hate this character. If the movie had been all about Koschei and Baba-Yaga and Vasilisa as their own team, it would have been such a better and great movie. The villains are good, the side-characters are good - it is just the main protagonist that is... bleh.

I know that the movie was popular enough to get not one but TWO sequels. I might watch them one day - I heard they are better. As for this movie... What I'd say is that it is not an excellent movie, nor a bad one - depending on your own taste and preferences, it ranges from a "good but not great" movie to a "neutral/middle-ground/meh" movie. It is not groundbreaking or inventive, but it is pretty, and honestly, the real interest of watching this movie is to see how Disney handles Russian folktales. This is the reason I watched this movie, and the main if not only reason I would advise people to go check it out - it is the improbable and bizarre crossover of Russian media and Disney movies, it is a Russian Disney fairytale movie, uniting the beloved folklore of the Soviet world and the traditional movie-making of American culture, and as such it is a very... weird piece that one must at least know about.

(And the character of Varvara is SUCH a good character. I love how she is presented, the visuals, how she plays out in the plot. I don't know if she is inspired by any specific folktale character - from what I have seen around she was invented for the movie and while fitting the fairytale world is not meant to represent a specific folk-character? But that's a very cool character)

[yalocalfanficaddict]

*vibrating to the point of combusting over the need to write something and title it with a Hozier song/lyric*

Ayo, new music obsession just dropped! Here's a random prompt list of Hozier stuff because my mind is rotting! Anything with Pt 1 and Pt 2 beside it, is just complimentary titles for potential series titles.

Take me to church:

Giggle At A Funeral

Born Sick

Like A Dog At The Shrine

Offer Me Your Deathless Death

Take Me To Church (A lil obvious with this one, but just imagine the Corpse Bride AU's)

My Lover's The Sunlight (Pt 1)

She Demands A Sacrifice (Pt 2)

This is Hungry Work

No Masters Or Kings (Pt 1)

When The Ritual Begins (Pt 2)

THERE IS NO SWEETER INNOCENCE THAN OUR GENTLE SIN (THE ANGST FOR THIS ONE *folds*)

Let Me Give You My Life

Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene:

Toying Somewhere Between Love And Abuse (Please just hit me with the back of a metal chair) (and by metal chair I mean angst)

The Wretched And Joyful

Shaking The Wings Of Their Terrible Youth (Arch-angels? Anybody?)

Freshly Disowned...Frozen Devotion

Sweetened Breath And Tongue So Mean (Removed pronouns for inclusivity)

Feeling More Human

I Lay My Heart Down (Pt 1)

It's Bloody It's Raw, But I Swear It's Sweet (Pt 2)

Wonder If Better Now Having Survived (Pt 1)

I'm Alive (Pt 2)

Jackie and Wilson:

From Behind The Red In My Eyes (Literally any character with red eyes will rule this title)

No Better Version Of Me

Most Familiar of Swine (Enemies to Lovers WHERE YOU AT??)

Wretched And Divine (I don't watch Good Omens, but think of the potential!!!!)

Laughing Away Through My Feeble Disguise

Found Me Just In Time

My Mid-Youth Crisis All Said And Done (Pt 1)

Never Felt So Young (Pt 2)

Call Me "Baby"

Hands Through My Hair

Soothe Me Daily

Raise 'Em On Rhythm And Blues

It'd Be Great To Find A Place We Could Escape Sometime

Dead And Buried In The Yard Outside

Watch The World Go By (Pt 1)

Watch It Burn And Rust (Pt 2)

It Wasn't For Us (Pt 3????)

Cut Clean From The Dream (Childhood Friends To Strangers???)

Let My Mind Reset

Looking Up From A Cigarette

Someone New:

Don't Take This The Wrong Way

You Knew Who I Was (Pt 1)

Every Step I Ran To You (Pt 2)

Electing Strange Perfections

Just A Little Ol' Little Bit

Everyday With Someone New (Here me out...Soulmate AU)

(There's An) Art To Life's Distractions (Pt 1)

The Art Of Scraping Through (Pt 2)

Some Like To Imagine

I Guess Any Thrill Will Do (Grumpy x Sunshine adventure!)

My Heart's Already Sinned

How Pure, How Sweet A Love

'Cause God Knows I Fall In Love (Denial for their feelings >>>)

The Stranger The Better

To Be Alone:

Never Feel Too Good In Crowds (Angst? Trauma Recovery?)

Crude And Proud Creatures Baying

All I've Ever Done Is Hide

When You Kill The Lights And Kiss My Eyes (FORBIDDEN LOVERS!!!!!)

I Feel Like A Person For A Moment Of My Life (Pt 1)

But You Don't Know What Hell You Put Me Through (Pt 2)

Kiss The Skin That Crawls From You

Oh, To Be Alone With You (Pt 1)

Questions I Can't Ask (Pt 2)

At Last, The Worst Is Over (BANANA FISH IF THEY HAD A HAPPY ENDING) (I'M SOBBING)

Not A Trace Of Me Would Argue (Whipped characters be like)

We Should Run Away

From Eden:

Something So Tragic About You (Please combine the next few lines as Pt 1s, 2s, 3s, etc. as you see fit!)

Something So Magic About You

Something Lonesome About You

Something Wholesome About You

Get Closer To Me

No Time For Me

You're Familiar Like My Mirror Years Ago

Idealism Sits In Prison

Chivalry Fell On It's Sword

Innocence Died Screaming

Something So Wretched About This (Hozier's favourite word unlocked lol)

Where To Begin?

What A Sin

To Hang From A Tree

In a Week (Ft. Karen Cowley):

I Have Never Known Peace

Like These Insects That Feast On Me

Our Heartbeats Becoming Slow

(We Lay Here) For Years Or For Hours (HANAHAKI WRITERS PLEASE HEAR ME OUT)

Two Corpses We Were (Pt1)

Two Corpses I Saw (Pt 2)

I'd Be Home With You (Could be used as a Hurt/Comfort or a Hurt/No Comfort)

The Slumber That Creeps To Me

I Have Never Known Color (Soulmate AU!!)

Flesh Calmly Going Cold

Your Hand In My Hand

So Still And Discreet

When The Weather Gets Hot

After The Foxes Have Known Our Taste (Pt 1)

After The Raven Has Had It's Say (Pt 2)

Sedated:

Just A Little Rush

To Feel Dizzy, To Derail The Mind

My Heart's In Atrophy

Nursing On A Poison That Never Stung (Pt 1)

Our Teeth And Lungs Are Lined From The Scum Of It (Pt 2)

We Are Deaf (Pt 1)

We Are Numb (Pt 2)

Something Isn't Right (Trapped in an Alternate Universe, anyone?)

Little Words

Slaves To Any Semblance Of Touch (Touched Starved Character's are gonna have a field day with this one lol)

We Should Quit But We Love It So Much (Never meant to be romances >>>)

Come And Save Me From It? (THE QUESTION MARK IS WHAT MAKES ME GO FERAL AHSBWBEDKSI)

Drag Me Away From It

Work Song:

Workin' On Empty

I Just Think About My Baby

I Could Barely Eat

Nothing Sweeter Than My Baby

Once From The Cherry Tree

Give Me Toothaches Just From Kissin' Me

When My Time Comes Around (Pt 1)

Lay Me Gently In The Cold Dark Earth (Pt 2) (THE ANGSSTTTTT)

Three Days On Drunken Sin (We aaaall know the smut writers will have a field day with this one, haha!)

An Empty Crib

No Grave Can Hold My Body Down

What My Hands And My Body Done

If The Lord Don't Forgive Me

Heaven And Hell Were Words To Me

Like Real People Do:

Why Were You Digging? (Pt 1)

What Did You Bury (Pt 2)

Those Hands Pulled Me From The Earth

(I Will Not Ask You) Where You Came From

Kiss Like Real People Do (AHKUDHUSdHBE JUST IMAGINE THE POTENTIAL-)

Eyes Always Seeking

In Some Sad Way, I Already Know

It Will Come Back:

You Know Better, Babe

Talk To It Like That (My mind went STRAIGHT to the gutter when I read it out of context)

Don't Give It A Hand, Offer A Soul

Leave It To The Land

Don't Let It In With No Intentions To Keep It

It Will Come Back

Smile At Me Like That

Hold Me

I'm Something Else When I See You (Myyy heaaart!!! Grumpy x Sunshine title for sure!!)

You Don't Understand, You Should Never Know

How Easy You Are To Need

It Can't Be Unlearned

The Warmth Of Your Doorways

Oh, Please, Give Me Mercy No More (WHUMP POTENTIAL!!!)

A Kindness You Can't Afford

Howling Outside Your Door

Foreigner's God:

Moved In Shameless Wonder

The Perfect Creature Rarely Seen

When The Land Was Godless And Free

Into The Empty Parts Of Me

My Heart Is Heavy

Always A Well Dressed Fraud

Never For Me

The Purest Expression Of Grief (HEAR ME OUT!! HEAR ME OUT!!)

Tender Charm

The Broken Love I Made To Them (Changed pronouns for inclusivity!)

Foreign To Me

Cherry Wine:

Eyes And Words Are So Icy

Like Rum On A Fire

Hot And Fast And Angry (Mad smut mad smut mad smut mad smut mad-)

I Walk My Days On A Wire

Oh Mama, Don't Fuss Over Me

The Blood Is Rare And Sweet As Cherry Wine (*glances at the Twilight fandom nervously*)

The Sheets Of Some Other

But I Want It, It's A Crime

Not Around Most Of The Time

I'm Their's And They're Mine (Inclusivity!!)

Fight And Fury Is Fiery

Loves Like Sleep To The Freezing

Sweet And Right And Merciful

It's Worth It (Pt 1)

It's Divine (Pt 2)

In The Woods Somewhere:

My Head Was Warm, My Skin Was Soaked

When I Awoke, The Moon Still Hung

The Darkness Hummed

I Prayed My Mind Be Good To Me

Into The Trees With Empty Hands

His Bone Exposed, His Hind Was Lame, I Raise A Stone To End His Pain (A lil long, but I think it sounds nice✨)

What Caused The Wound?

To Save A Life I Didn't Have

Forgot All Prayers Of Joining You

My Dearest Love, I'm Not Done Yet

Something In The Woods Somewhere

Run:

Rare Is This Love, Keep It Covered (FORBIDDEN LOVERS!!! I'LL DIE ON THIS HILL OF THIS BEING THE BEST TROPE)

Run To Me, Lover

Until You Feel Your Lungs Bleeding (HANAHAKI?? HANAHAKI!!)

To Be Twisted By Something (A knife? A rope? Possibilities are endless!)

A Shame Without A Sin

Rushing To The Shore To Meet