#━━ pope answered ｢but now i’m just making up facts what’s it matter anymore｣

[babyloncurse]

tagging system ━━ pope silas callaway

[cobwebafternoons-archived]

tagging system ━━ pope silas callaway

[feignedhues]

tagging system ━━ pope silas callaway

[skiesofthesketchy]

36, 60, and 71, if you can combine prompts for one request! was thinking like an accident happens, and jj’s freaking out, but there’s a happy ending obviously. If you only want 1 prompt, let’s go with 60 :)

congrats on 1k lovely!! you deserve it, and keep up all your amazing work ❤️

thanks for the request!! i kinda went in a different direction but i hope you like this! :)

masterlist

1k celebration blurbs

60. So I accidentally told her that I loved her. What do I do?

71. I didn't know how to tell you [before].

***

“Shit, shit, shit,” JJ murmured under his breath. His thoughts were running wild but he couldn’t process a single one of them. The confident and easy-going pogue had turned into a nervous mess, and he had nobody to blame but himself.

“JB, you better fucking answer,” he panted into his cellphone that was pressed to his face. He waited impatiently as he heard the ringing in his ear, all while basically running in the direction of the Chateau.

Right as JJ was about to hang up and try again, his best friend John B. finally picked up.

“Hey, what’s up, man? Are you coming by later? Pope and Kie are already here and we got the beer--”

“JB, I fucked up. I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up.”

“Woah, JJ, relax. What happened?” John B. immediately had a thousand different ideas of the trouble his friend could be in and ultimately assumed the worst. He had stopped everything to listen intently to JJ on the phone.

JJ sighed, still feeling like he wasn’t in complete control of his body. “JJ. What is it?” John B. asked again. He was getting more scared by the second about what could possibly be wrong. Did JJ do something to his dad? Is he running from the cops again?

“I accidentally told her that I love her. What the fuck do I do?” His tone was desperate, eyebrows creased in worry. He needed his best friend to tell him what to do.

JJ was a quick thinker, always able to escape trouble when he needed to. But this was different. Years of friendship out the window. He was convinced he had just ruined everything and that you would never want to see him again.

John B., of course, knew exactly who JJ was referring to. JJ only ever had feelings for you. Even with the string of random girls coming and leaving JJ’s bedroom, nobody compared to you.

Much to JJ’s dismay, he could hear his friend’s booming laughter through the phone. “Hey man, that’s great! Good for you,” John B. laughed. He was relieved that it wasn’t something actually bad, and was thankful JJ’s situation was amusing instead.

“It’s not great, and it’s definitely not funny,” JJ grumbled. “Can you be serious for a second? My life just blew up in my face and it’s my own damn fault.”

“Hey, seriously, you need to relax. Did she actually reject you?” John B. asked carefully.

“She would have if I would’ve stuck around to hear it.”

“What does that mean?”

“I ran away, okay?!” JJ yelled. “I got the hell out of there before she could even say anything.” Yep, he wanted to punch himself in the face for that. But he didn’t mean to spill his feelings all over you. It was all just a huge mistake.

It was something that couldn’t be helped, though. There you were, standing on the beach looking as beautiful as always. Your hair blew softly in the breeze as the golden sun gave your figure a gracious glow. The sight of you was enough to knock the air right out of JJ’s lungs.

Your smile lit up your pretty face as you told your good friend JJ all about the guy you were going on a date with tonight. The handsome stranger had been charming, and you had to admit you were a bit smitten. Not many guys have had the courage to walk up to you to ask you out.

JJ could tell you were excited, but a burning jealousy seeped into his bones. He willed himself to keep his mouth shut, but JJ had never been the best at self-control.

“I don’t think you should go out with this guy,” he said.

You looked at him confused. “Why not?”

He sighed, already kicking himself for speaking up. “Y/N, you don’t know him. He could be a murderer. He could be an asshole just wanting to get laid.” He was prepared to go on, but you cut him off.

“JJ, I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.” You couldn’t read him. You were used to JJ being protective, but he was acting strange. You could tell something else was on his mind but you couldn’t even begin to guess what it was. He couldn’t even look at you.

You grabbed a hold of his hand so that he would look back at you, finding his bright blue eyes clouded in anger? Disappointment? “What is this about?”

“What about for me? Would you ditch this guy for me?” Oh god, he’s already said too much, but it’s too late now. His gaze was fixed on you as you furrowed your brows in confusion.

“I don’t understand...”

“What if I told you I was in love with you?” It felt like the whole world stopped as he waited for your reaction. “Would you ditch him then?”

You didn’t think you heard him right. Did he just say he’s in love with you!? No, you must have water in your ears or something.

The short silence from you was the only answer he needed. With a nod and a frown, he tore himself away from you. “Just forget it,” he grumbled, already marching away.

“JJ, wait!” you called after him. He was already running from the situation and you hardly even had two seconds to process it all. “JJ!”

He didn’t listen to you and continued fleeing as fast as possible, wondering what the hell he had done.

That brings us back to the present. JJ had finally made it to the Chateau. John B. had filled Pope, Kie, and Sarah in on the situation, making JJ’s ears and face burn in embarrassment. At the same time though, he didn’t care what any of them thought. He only cared about you.

What were you calling after him for? What would you have said if JJ hadn’t run away? Do you want him out of your life because he made things weird?? Are you about to fall madly in love with this stupid guy you’re going out with right now???

“JJ, it’s okay. Come sit down and chill,” Kie brought JJ out of his wild imagination for a brief moment. It felt as if his heart was still beating much faster than it should. He felt restless but also like there was nothing he could do to fix any of it.

He only sat down in the hammock because Kiara had dragged him there. JJ felt like he was in a daze, not really paying attention to the world outside of his mind. Pope had handed him a beer and JJ gulped half of it down without even thinking about it. Conversation started up around him but he didn’t hear anything... until someone said your name.

“Oh look, Y/N’s here,” John B. announced, shoving JJ’s shoulder. “And she looks pissed.” JJ whipped his head around quickly and sure enough, there you were, beautiful as always, but fuming and marching right toward him.

“What the fuck, JJ?!” you yelled, making it obvious that you were about to either chew him out or kick his ass.

“Good luck, bud,” John B. whispered to JJ, chuckling under his breath.

“Fuck you,” JJ replied as he watched everyone go inside, leaving him alone to face your wrath. He didn’t know what the fuck to do, how to fix the mistake he made, how to make things not weird between you guys, but holy shit, he didn’t expect that you’d be so angry.

It was like he was watching you in slow motion, feeling every one of your stomps on the ground as you approached him, eyes ablaze and lips pulled into a frown. “What was that back there?” you finally asked, now standing right in front of the boy who looked scared shitless.

“I-- I know, Y/N. I’m sorry! It was a mistake--” he tried to explain rather desperately, but you cut him off.

“You can’t just dump all of that on me and then run away!” JJ finally stood up from the hammock and now towered over you, reaching for your arms without even thinking about it, wanting to make you feel calm.

“I don’t know why I said any of that! It was an accident! I'm sorry, we can talk about this--” You interrupted him yet again, but this time by launching yourself forward and crashing your lips to his.

With hands cradling his jaw, you did your best to put all of your emotions into the kiss, the one kiss that could change everything. JJ was more than surprised, freezing as you pulled him in closer, but within two seconds had relaxed and gave in-- he'd be an idiot not to. His hands fell to your waist and pulled you flush against him as his lips finally matched your ferver.

You don’t even know why you got so angry. Perhaps it was because the man you had loved since forever had told you he shared the same feelings, but then left before you could make the same confession, freeing yourself from years of secrecy. You didn’t want to hide it anymore. You needed to be sure he felt the same, like he said he did.

It almost didn’t matter now, as you poured every bit of passion you had into someone you called your best friend. He smiled against your lips, bringing his hand to the back of your neck to deepen the mind-blowing kiss. His mind was in a daze as his senses became clouded by you. In this moment, he had no doubts of his feelings for you. He was undeniably in love with you and couldn’t do a single thing to change that.

You had allowed yourself to get lost in him, but in a split second you were pulling away, not able to pull too far with JJ’s arms wrapped around you. His eyes trapped you in his gaze as you both took a moment to catch your breaths. You didn’t want to come down from the high you were experiencing, but you had to ask...

“Did you mean it?”

His brows furrowed wondering what you meant before it clicked. “Every word,” he said, only confidence and honesty in his voice. After that kiss, he wasn’t scared anymore. In fact, he felt fucking fearless. “I didn’t know how to tell you before.”

“Well, I'm glad you did,” you replied with a smile, dragging your fingers through his locks of hair before kissing him once more. The sounds of loud cheering made you pull away much sooner than either of you would have liked.

The pogues were watching from the window, cheering and making dumb kissy faces at you guys. JJ promptly flipped them off while you laughed, then he turned so that he was shielding you from the prying eyes of your friends. He loved the sound of your joyous laugh accompanied by your radiant smile.

“Next time you just wanna kiss me, can you not come over looking like you wanna kill me?” he asked, and you laughed with heat flooding your face. “Very mixed signals. I was scared for my life!” he added with a chuckle.

“Oh, shut up. I had a right to be mad at you!”

“But not anymore, right?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes and shook your head at him before throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him again. You could definitely get used to this.

“You’re an idiot,” you mumbled against his lips. “You’re lucky I love you too.” He grinned, feeling higher than the clouds now that you finally said the words he was dying to hear.

He picked you up and spun you before kissing you again. “The luckiest in the world.”

***

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[mayraki]

“enemies?” - jj maybank

-> sebastianstahn’s gif!

summary: it was clear that their smiliar strong attitudes didn’t fit together, or at least that’s what they thought until someone hurts her and he doesn’t even hesitate on protecting her.

inspired by this post by @whumpster-dumpster and all those reblogs!

warning: jj and y/n being mean. violence, fights, and cursing

masterlist

“Asshole.”

“Idiot.”

“Dumbass.”

“Stupid.”

JJ and you were throwing insults at each other after a silly fight you two had. All the Pogues thought it was silly after all, but it wasn’t for you and JJ. Everything that one did was annoying for the other, and it would just transform into a fight or just rolling eyes annoyed at the other’s actions. It didn’t matter that at the morning you two were laughing with the Pogues after a fun morning riding the waves, it would always end up with you two screaming at each other and ruining the moment for everyone.

It was a normal morning with you and the Pogues riding the waves like always. You were sitting on your surfing board looking at Kie with a smile while she was riding the wave like a fucking pro. You clapped screaming in excitement when she swam closer to you. “That’s what’s up dude!” You yelled and Kie let out a laugh.

“I want to see the real pro ride the wave now.” She answered and you smiled. Without giving Kie an answer you paddled with your hands more deeper into the ocean and waited for the perfect wave. You could feel your heart beating a little bit faster than usual. You loved those excited nerves you always had before riding a wave. You loved it so much that you couldn’t even wait for the next one, even if you were having currently one.

You saw from a far a wave that was big enough for you to ride. So without hesitating, you paddled towards it and prepared your body to ride it like there was no tomorrow. You took the opportunity to stand on your surfing board as the wave was getting closer and closer, to the point that it was already in front of you, waiting for you to ride it.

Your feet were ready to feel the wave and your body to move along with it, but instead, someone quickly moving in front of you caught you off guard, making you lose your balance and fall into the water, almost hitting your head with your board in the process.

You swam to the surface to see who was the person who stole your wave, ready to go off on their face, and the one you saw didn’t surprised you at all.

Once your feet touched the sand you dropped your board and turned around, waiting for the boy to get out of the water. Kie, who saw what just happened was now walking towards you.

“Hey, dude, let it go.” She said seeing your expression. She knew that exact face you were making, that anger in your eyes and your impatient foot going up and down. Kie knew what was coming, just like it went every day.

“Fuck that.” You said once you saw the dumb blonde boy you had so much anger in your body for walk towards where you and Kie where. “He stole my wave when I was already riding it, everyone knows you don’t do that here. He’s going to hear what I have to say.” Your firm tone made Kie understand that you weren’t going to let it go. But before she could say anything else, the blonde boy was already close enough to hear your words. “Was that funny to you?”

JJ, who was now shaking his wet hair looked at you confused and then looked back, checking if you were talking to him. “Do you see me laughing?”

“You stole my fucking wave.” You took a step forward to be more closer to JJ, who let out a grin once he looked down and nodded.

“Oh, right. That was pretty funny.”

“Wow.” You let out a fake laugh. “You love so much being the troublemaker, don’t you? The attention you seek is so sad. I feel sorry for you.”

“Why don’t you move along and leave me the fuck alone, Kook?” He said in a mocking tone since he knew you hated being called that.

At this point, you were so close to him that you could see the grin on his face more clearer now. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?”

He nodded looking at you straight in the eyes. “Takes one to know one.” He said getting closer to your face. You had the sudden urge to push him but before you could do something, you felt Kie grabbing your arm and pulling you away from JJ.

“What’s going on?” Pope asked appearing from the waves.

“What do you think it’s going on?” John B asked behind him. “Probably JJ and Y/n going at each other again, like always.”

And John B was right; ‘like always.’

It happened so often that everyone just rolled their eyes and continued with their days while you and him were throwing mean words at each other. It was so common that if it didn’t happen, it felt like something was missing from the day. But it wasn’t like you two hated each other... well, maybe it was. But it was more the fact that you two had too firm attitudes, so similar, that when they met each other they didn’t fit well. And until this day, nothing changed.

“Would you just shut up?” He said annoyed at you while you were talking to Kie, on that other morning at the Chateau.

You turned to him with a disgust expression. “Why would I do what you want? Asshole.” You rolled your eyes before turning to Kie, who just sighed knowing what was about to come.

“We were having a fun conversation until you spoke.” JJ shrugged his shoulders with a little proud smirk.

“About what? The girl that you took to your bed the other night? Yeah, real interesting and new.” You said sarcastically.

“That’s what you need. To get a good laid.” JJ pointed at you. “Too bad your perfect Kook boyfriend can’t give you that.” You felt your heart dropped to you stomach once you heard his words. Kie quickly got up from the chair right after you did, trying to ignore that pain you were feeling in your chest.

“Guys-” Pope said before getting up from the chair and walking between you and JJ. “Stop it. Really, it’s getting very tiring listening to you guys.”

“Blame JJ, he fucking started it.”

“You were the one who talked with your annoying voice, it’s not my fault my ears can’t take it.”

“You’re the annoying one.” You felt your heart beating faster than usual. You didn’t want to let JJ know that his words were starting to hurt you, you couldn’t let that happen. “Just because you aren’t happy here doesn’t mean that you get to take it out on other people!”

“Y/n...” Kie said noticing the hurt in your voice.

“Why don’t you just go back to your perfect huge fucking mansion with your perfect arrogant boyfriend and leave us the fuck alone!”

“Shut the fuck up!” You yelled like you never yelled before. After flipping your middle finger at JJ, you walked out of the Chateau followed by Kie who shook her head to JJ seconds later.

Pope turned to him before letting out a big sigh. “What?” JJ asked confused after watching his best friend’s face.

“Sometimes you’re just too blind and stupid.”

“What did I do?!” JJ asked now turning to John B who was at the kitchen shaking his head.

“Didn’t you hear?” He asked but JJ quickly shook his head. “Her mom moved out a week ago.” John B said softly. “And Rafe broke up with her a week later, because he believes she isn’t a ‘kook material’ anymore. Sarah told me.”

“Too bad.” JJ shrugged his shoulders pretending to not care. He didn’t want to show a soft spot for you and keep his annoyed expression, but this time something clicked inside of him and that strong attitude he had for you somehow didn’t appear on that moment. “She still has a lot. Things that we could only imagine.” He sat down on the couch, leaving his feet on top of the coffee table with the intention to lose himself on his phone and ignore what was going on with him, but then Pope asked softly: “Does she?”

JJ couldn’t seem to stop asking himself that question. She did. He was repeating himself that on and on. He always thought you did, you were a kook, of course you did. After that moment, he didn’t see you at all. Not even with Kie when she came back to the Chateau, or when they were all going to the Wreck to have their normal Friday free dinner that Kie’s dad would often give them.

“Kegger tonight?” John B asked wrapping his arms around Sarah.

“Fuck yeah, bro.” JJ said. He was ready to walk away from the Wreck when Pope asked behind him.

“Is Y/n ok?” He asked Kie. For some reason, JJ didn’t want to hear that conversation, so he turned around to see what John B and Sarah were doing, maybe join their conversation, but then he saw John B’s tongue going down Sarah’s throat, he thought that he didn’t have anything to add to that, so instead, he left his hands inside his pockets and looked down hoping for his ears to focus on something else. But Kie’s voice was louder than everything, or at least JJ thought of that excuse.

“I don’t know man.” Kie said. “I haven’t seen her since she left the Chateau this morning. I tried sneaking into her room but she isn’t answering.”

“Have you tried calling or texting her?”

“Pope, we don’t live in the 80’s, of course I tried that. But no luck. Hopefully she heard about the Kegger tonight, she doesn’t like to miss a party.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t. But we’re talking about a breakup- I’m not saying that I’m not happy they broke up, but, you know, can’t be easy for her.”

“I know, Pope, I know. But for now, all we can hope is that she shows up at the party, and if she doesn’t, I’ll try calling her again.”

“Sounds good.”

“Are we ready to leave or what?” John B asked clapping excited and everyone followed him to his van.

The way to the Kegger, JJ kept thinking Kie’s conversation with Pope. It was true that you and him weren’t the closest friends, not even friends most of the time, but he knew that you weren’t the type to close yourself up like that. Maybe with Pope, or John B, but Kie? That definitely wasn’t good news.

Why do you care so much now JJ? He suddenly asked to himself in his head. And the truth was, he had no fucking clue. He snapped himself out of his thoughts and on that moment noticed the music getting clearer and clearer as the van was moving.

He immediately saw teenagers dancing and drinking on the beach the moment he stepped out of the van once they arrived. It was a normal Kegger party, just like the ones before. So, like every other party, once JJ noticed where the keg was, his feet were already carrying him towards it.

“Is that Y/n?” Kie asked when JJ had his beer in hand. He turned around looking for you expecting to be hard since the beach was full, but he was horribly mistaken, it was the easiest thing.

You were dancing while you were sitting down on someone’s shoulders. Your arms were up in the air and you eyes were closed while singing the song with your entire heart. You were clearly drunk, that wasn’t something difficult to figure it out.

“I think so.” Pope said trying to see you in the dark of the night, but Kie let out a tiny smile and then nodded.

“Oh, it’s definitely Y/n.”

JJ took a sip from his beer without taking his eyes away from you. He has never seen you this drunk, even though you did like to party and have a good time. But like that... on top of some random guy shoulders, he definitely never saw you like that. Maybe the breakup with Rafe did hit you hard. “Maybe you should get her out of there.” He said not really knowing he did. He didn’t look at Kie but she definitely did look at him. She looked at him strangely, confused on why he was worrying for you or even giving a fuck about the situation at all.

“Why? She’s having fun.” This time, JJ did turned to lock eyes with Kie and noticed she had an eyebrow raised. “Why do you care?” She asked but before he could give an answer, she let out a tiny laugh and the left, to join you in the dance floor. JJ didn’t move, he kept there in his place drinking his beer not really knowing what to do with that strange feeling he was having on his stomach.

Meanwhile, the moment your feet touched the sand the same guy that had you in his shoulders wasted no time and grabbed your waist to pull you closer and enjoy the song that was playing together. You weren’t usually the type to dance with guys like this, or at least, you didn’t for a long time because you were in a relationship for as long as you can remember. This was all new for you and you wanted to be honest with yourself, you were liking it. Since the news of your breakup with Rafe started surfing around Outer Banks, specially in the Kook territory, you started to get more attention from boys. At first, that was the last thing you wanted, it still was, but the amount of alcohol you had in your system and the party itself was making you enjoy all the attention you were receiving. Your drunk self was starting to love it, maybe more than you would like.

“Having fun?” The guy asked in your ear softly. You turned around with your eyes still closed to face him with your back and get him even more closer while his hands were still glued to your waist. You nodded biting your lower lip. You opened your eyes to see with blurry eyes your friend Kie talking to some girl and you let out a tiny smile. You wondered with your eyes around the beach to see the other teenagers having fun at the party just like you, expect one. When you locked eyes with the blonde boy you were familiar with your heart skipped a beat. He had his hand inside his pocket while his other was holding his beer, but what surprised you the most was the fact that he was staring you dead in the eyes, not looking away for even a simple second.

“I’m going to have another beer.” You said without breaking the eye contact with JJ. You didn’t know what was controlling your body, or your mind to that point, but you kept staring at him waiting for him to back down and look away, and when he didn’t, you liked it even more. You grinned as you were walking towards the keg that was lonely at the corner of the beach. From the corner of your eye you noticed JJ walking towards you. A little smile escaped your lips but you covered it perfectly by taking the new cup you had in your hands towards your mouth, to take a sip of the cold beer.

“JJ!” You said once you felt him close enough to you. “Are you looking for a girl to fuck and then leave her the next morning?”

“I could ask you the same question.” He said softly and you turned to him with a grin.

“Well, there’s a lot of pretty girls here. But I’m not an asshole like you,” you paused for a second, locking eyes with him after looking around. “I would definitely call her the next morning.”

He looked up and down at you and then shook his head. “Maybe you should stop drinking.”

“Why do you care?” You spited out. “Leave me the fuck alone.”

“I don’t care,” he shook his head quickly and then added: “I just care that you’re acting like a fucking slut and I don’t want to associate with someone like that.”

You felt your heart dropping to your stomach since you’ve never heard him call you that, or anyone. It wasn’t like JJ to say things of the sort. But the alcohol you had in your system controlled your emotions and ate all of them. Your feet started to move towards him, making him take a step back.

“I should say the same thing to you. I should say that every fucking party, JJ. Going around with tourons like there’s no tomorrow. Kissing almost every girl. You don’t get to call me anything.”

“Rafe broke up with you days ago and you’re already acting like this? Can’t imagine what you’d do a week from now?” He let out a tiny laugh but you didn’t respond to his words immediately. It took you by surprise because you haven’t told him anything about the matter. It was true, rumors fly faster than birds around Outer Banks, but you didn’t expect the Pogues to know since it was all Kook news.

“How do you know?” You asked softly but firmly at the same time.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does.” You insisted. “Did Kie told you?”

“No.” You felt a tear fighting to come out of your eye but you stopped it by swallowing and eating your strong feeling in your body.

“Fuck you.” You said almost in a whisper with anger. It didn’t matter that the music was loud and that your tone wasn’t much, your distance to him was enough.

“Fuck me?” He said looking down at your lips and then back at your eyes, letting out a tiny fake laugh in the process. “Well, it seems like you want to.”

It didn’t matter to you that you were closer to him than you’ve ever been, you took another step closer and immediately felt his breathing mixing with yours. “If I wanted to fuck you,” you said firmly “I would’ve done it by now.”

Without waiting for an answer, you walked out leaving JJ with his head full of thoughts. Your heart couldn’t stop beating faster than ever, your head started to hurt thinking of your recent fight with JJ and your eyes were getting blurrier that before. Something about that fight seemed different than the ones you had before with him. You didn’t know what it was, and you didn’t want to stay to find out why. So that’s when you decided to call it a night and leave the party to forget everything about the night.

But JJ didn’t have the same plan.

When you said those last words his heart dropped to his stomach. His heart felt like a dagger had stabbed him and then was left there to hurt him until his last day. As soon as he lost you in the crowd he quickly walked to the Chateau and closed the door with strength. His heavy and quick breathing were back. He hold the side of his head and closed his eyes to try and call himself down. The imagine of you came to his head as he was hearing your words on and on. He felt like the air was running out around him, so he walked over to the window and cracked it open so fast that he almost broke it.

The moment he calmed down, he layed down in the bed hoping to fall asleep. He was so used to having moments like that that he didn’t thought much into it. But the moment he closed his eyes again the image of you appeared again in those black wholes. He sighed, already knowing that was going to be a long night.

“Has anyone seen Y/n?” That was the first thing JJ heard the first time he felt himself falling asleep. He opened his eyes and noticed the bright light of the day peeping through the window.

“No, why?” Pope asked on the living room of the Chateau.

“Because she disappeared after last night and she hasn’t come home.” Kie said and JJ noticed her heavy breathing. “Her parents are looking for her everywhere.”

JJ got up from his bed and opened the door quickly to walk towards everyone, but no one looked at him.

“Oh my god, where could she be?” Sarah asked, appearing from behind of John B.

“I don’t know! I’m kinda freaking out here!” Kie covered her face and let out a big breath, trying to take her heart beating back to normal.

“I don’t want to say this,” Pope said “but have you talked to Rafe?”

“No! That’s a good idea. I’ll talk to him. John B and Sarah,” Kie started pointing “go to the Wreck, Pope go to her house to see if she came back. JJ, check the beach.”

“Why do I have to go?” JJ asked with his sleepy voice.

“Fucking shut up! Go!” Kie yelled having non of JJ’s attitude.

Just like Kie told everyone, the whole group left the Chateau immediately. Expect for JJ. He came back to where his shirt was and put it on with a question on his mind: ‘what if what he had said to you was the thing that made you do something terrible?’

JJ knew you weren’t the type to take his insults personally, even though they were. Both of you knew that. It was just child play sometimes. If one said something hurtful, hours later you two just forgot about and carried on to the next fight. But last night, that was something different. JJ never called you that, not even jokingly, and he didn’t even know why he did it. It was one of those moments that you just say things you don’t really mean and regret it later.

As the walk to the beach was ending, JJ found himself hoping that you were there, safe and sound. Even if he didn’t like you sometimes, just like you, he would never wish anything bad happening to you. So the fact that nobody could find you was making his stomach turn a couple of times when the thought of something really bad happening to you might be a reality.

Once his feet touched the sand, he tried his hardest to locate you in the crowd of people that was at the beach that morning. He took a couple of steps closer to the water when his eyes were now going around the ocean, hoping to see your face riding the waves. But you weren’t there.

“Fuck.” He said in a whisper to himself. Just as he was losing hope on that side of the beach and started to walk away, he recognised your hair as you were sitting down letting your feet touch the water of the ocean. The feeling of relief touched his chest so he walked over to you.

The moment he could see your face more clearer he noticed your puffy eyes from crying and that you were wearing the same clothes as yesterday at the party. A sudden feeling of guilt appeared on his stomach and chest, he knew what he had to do. But he wasn’t happily waiting for it.

“Everyone is looking for you.” He said but you didn’t turned around to face him.

“Well, you found me. You can fuck off now.”

“Stop being such a brat.” He said used to the fighting between you two, even if fighting was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

“If you don’t like it, you can go.” Without hearing you, he sat down next to you. “You’re still here.” You said annoyed.

“Don’t make this harder than it already is. I think I’m going to hate myself for saying this,” you turned to him confused but JJ wasn’t looking at you, he was staring down at the sand next to his feet. “but I want to say that I’m sorry for calling you a slut. I shouldn’t have.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a tiny laugh. Even if you did believed his apology, you weren’t going to forgive him that easily. “Stop the act, JJ, you don’t care about how I feel. You never did.”

“That’s true, I don’t.” He quickly responded. You rolled your eyes once again and went back to staring at the ocean. But JJ didn’t. For some reason the sound of the ocean covered the people talking around them and that was the only thing JJ could hear. He kept staring at you and took the opportunity to see some things he never saw before. Those long eyelashes you had were slightly moving because of the wind blowing. Even if your body gave off anger and annoyance, your eyes were saying something completely different. They looked sad and disappointed. Something that JJ understood. You two did have different lives, different stories, but somehow you two ended up feeling similar things, pain, hate, sadness...

Maybe you two had more in common that you and JJ thought.

“Stop fucking staring at me or I’ll kill you.” Your words made JJ snap out of his thoughts.

“Bet, I’ll be waiting.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fuck off.”

“Happily.” JJ said with a firm tone while getting up and walking back to the road.

You two couldn’t help it. Somehow, no matter the circumstances, fighting was always going to happen with you two. It’s like when something horribly happened, fighting with each other released some type of emotion that made each other feel... safe. As strange as that sounded, it was true. Because no matter what was happening, no matter the day, the hour, the other one was there. Throwing words, fighting, being mean, but that didn’t matter, it was there. And that was what you and JJ wanted, something to be there and don’t change.

Lost in his thoughts, JJ didn’t realise that he was already far gone from the beach and that he was closer to the Chateau. The trees that were around him made the scenario more darker, even if it was the middle of the day and the sun was shining. Some voices were getting louder and louder as he was walking. After a couple of seconds, he recognised the voice immediately.

Rafe.

“What is going on?” He asked once he got closer to the group of people that was between the trees. He noticed Kie looking with anger at Rafe, you next to him trying to calm Kie down and Rafe, with a grin on his face once he saw JJ walking towards them.

“Oh, the Pogue is here.” Rafe said. “Great! The party is full.”

“Fucking idiot.” Kie said shaking her head.

“This isn’t your territory, Kook.” JJ said getting closer to Rafe to intimidate him.

“And who are you to tell me where I can be and where I can’t?”

“Guys, stop it.” You said when you saw JJ and Rafe were very close to each other, with so much anger and arrogance in each eye.

“Hold on, hold on, we’re just having fun here.” Rafe lifted his hands and then let out a tiny fake laugh.

“Yeah, so much fun.” JJ said sarcastically. “Leave our side of the island.” His jawline was now clenched and you noticed how his hands were now closed, making his knuckles more paler than they were.

��And what if I don’t?”

“Rafe, don’t.” You said firmly.

“What’s that Y/n?” Rafe said with a grin looking at you. “Should I give this Pogue a lesson?”

You looked at JJ and immediately realized that there was no out of it. This wasn’t going to end well. Your brain started to look for ways to get out, but non of them had a good ending. Calming the boys down wasn’t an option, this wasn’t a movie that with just looking at someone in the eye was going to cut it. This was real life, and sometimes, you have to do what you have to do to protect them, even if that meant hurting them in the process.

You noticed that JJ was getting closer to Rafe, but without hesitating, you quickly got in front of Rafe, making immediately eye contact with JJ. “Why don’t you just go home, JJ.” You said firmly trying to ignore the pain your chest was feeling.

“Y/n...” Kie said surprised.

You knew about JJ’s home life. You knew about his dad and the things that he did to him. But you never talked about it. JJ didn’t want to, in the first place. So that’s what you all decided when you first found out. But you knew, you knew that was going to get him angry at you and not Rafe, that was going to get him out of that situation and get off, just like you wanted.

“What’s that sweetheart?” Rafe asked getting next to you.

“Go home, JJ.” You said almost in a whisper this time. The pain and anger in his eyes made your chest hurt like a dagger had stabbed you multiple times. You wanted this to be over. Now.

“If that’s what you want.” He said, trying to fight the tears in.

“It is.” You said once you felt Rafe’s arm go around your shoulders. JJ did a little nod and then walked away, with his heart on his stomach, just like you.

“Y/n?” Kie asked softly looking at you.

You looked at her with a warm smile, trying your hardest for it to look real. “I’m safe, Kie. It’s done... don’t worry.”

“Yeah, Kie,” Rafe said looking at you with a smile. “don’t worry. She’s fine with me.”

Just like that, Kie left you and Rafe alone. That wasn’t the way that you expected this to end, but the the best ending came out of it, JJ is safe. And for some reason, that’s all that mattered to you right now.

Just like every other night where something was wrong, there was only way the Pogues wanted to fix it: a Kegger. So, with a new keg and music as louder as it can get, the group got a few Pogues and Turouns to start a party.

JJ found himself with a girl on his lap touching him on ways a lot of girls wanted to at that party. He felt the girl’s fingers going through his hair as her lips were getting closer and closer to his lips.

“Why don’t we go so somewhere more quieter?” The blonde girl asked softly against his lips with a smile.

“Maybe we will.” JJ answer, with a grin even though having a girl around wasn’t in the list of things he wanted to do on that moment. He found himself thinking of you multiple times since he left you with Rafe. What he was feeling was a mix of worry and anger, things that he was used to feeling but not because of you. He usually felt annoyed and irritated, so the fact that his feelings did a full turn was totally consuming his brain.

“What are the Kooks doing here?” He heard Kie asked behind him while the blonde girl, that JJ couldn’t seem to remember her name, was playfully touching with his hair.

He slightly turned around to find teenagers with light brown shorts and polo shirts, with their usual arrogant grins and stupid haircuts.

“This isn’t going to end well.” Pope shook his head.

“Is Y/n here?” John B asked with annoyance, once he located Rafe with her eyes.

“The last time I saw her she was with Rafe, so maybe.” Kie said looking around, hoping to find you in the crowd.

“Maybe.” JJ said more to himself than to anyone around him.

He turned around to go back to the girl that was now, even more closer to his lips than before. He needed to get you out of his head, the fact that he couldn’t even if he had a girl on his lap ready to do anything JJ ever did with different girls at parties was so strange that he even thought of moving the girl aside and ending the party and hopefully fall asleep, not like the night before, but when he saw you quickly walking towards the Chateau, his worry grew up even bigger and the thought of leaving the party seemed more interesting now.

The way that you were covering your face with your hand made him furrowed his eyebrows and gently move the girl from his lap, which she complained but JJ was already walking towards the Chateau, leaving everything behind.

“What are you doing here?” He asked once he saw you sitting down on the couch, with your elbows resting on your knees and your hands covering your face.

“Get the fuck out.” You said. The living room of the house was only being illuminated by the light of the moon so JJ couldn’t see you clearly. But he did notice your heavy breathing and your foot going quickly up and down, making the situation even more weirder.

“Y/n-”

“Get out!” You yelled so loudly and out of the blue that it caught JJ off guard, making him take a step back. But he wasn’t done.

“No, what the fuck are you doing here alone? Are you alright?”

“What do you care?” You asked. You were making sure your face wasn’t illuminated by the poor light that was hitting the room. You clearly didn’t want JJ to see you, and he noticed that. “Get out and go back to the girl you were about to fuck.”

“Stop being a fucking brat and look at me for fucks sake!”

“And why should I do what you want JJ?! Leave me the fuck alone!”

“No! No until you tell me what’s going on with you!”

“Why should I?!” You turned around to see him with the anger that you felt in your body, but quickly went back, remembering what you had in your face. “You don’t fucking care.”

JJ was starting to feel irritated and annoyed at your attitude. So he let out a big sigh and covered his face with his hands to calm himself down and not take the situation to an ever more bad turn. But his mind was playing tricks on him. “Alright! Maybe I will go back to the party and fuck the girl I was with because I can’t fucking stand you and your annoying ass!”

You didn’t respond immediately. You felt a tear coming down your cheek and your throat hurting so much you felt the need to rip it out. “I hate you.” You finally said, softer than your prior tone.

“Well... the feeling is mutual.”

“Then fucking leave.”

“You know what? Maybe you and Rafe are fucking perfect for each other. You two are just two spoiled brats that your only concerns are where to buy your next boat!”

“Is that what you think? Is that what you fucking think!?” You’ve had enough of his words, so without thinking your next move, you got up from the couch and walked closer to him. “You’re so fucking blind that you can’t see what’s in front of your eyes no matter how many times you have it in front of you!”

JJ quickly looked down to your lower lip and your chin where he noticed something new in your face. He furrowed his eyebrows and that’s when you remembered. You looked down when you realized it was too late, he saw it.

A little red scratch was on the side of your lower lip, making them a little bit more bigger than usual. The line went perfectly with another one on your chin, making a big red line on the lower side of your face. Something that you hoped JJ didn’t give much thought into it, but you were clearly so dumb to think that.

“What is that?” He asked looking at you in the eyes, but you quickly broke the eye contact.

“Nothing, leave me alone.” You walked back but JJ grabbed your arm, not giving you the opportunity to walk away from him.

“Y/n, you’re hurt!”

“And so fucking what?!” You yelled but he didn’t answered in the same tone, instead he tried to gently grab your chin to see it better.

“Let me see it.”

“Fuck off.” You pushed his hand away and tried to walk away, but the grip that JJ had in your arm didn’t let you. “JJ! Let me go!”

“No, Y/n, let me see it because I think you need to patch it up!”

“Fuck off!” With a quick move, you managed to leave JJ’s grip and walk back, but he tried to take your chin back to his hand. “Stop it JJ!” You yelled but he wasn’t listening, you tried your hardest to move but the pain that you sudden felt was so strong that you gave in, letting JJ grab your chin.

Once he saw that you were more calm, he grabbed your chin more softly and started to caress your chin with his thumb. The only thing that was on your ears was yours and JJ’s heavy breathing because of the sudden movements you just did a couple of seconds ago. He ended so close to your face that you could feel his hot breath against your skin, making you feel butterflies on your stomach.

With his eyes, he slowly started to move from your eyes to your chin while his thumb was still gently caressing your chin. Once his eyes stopped on your scratch, he pulled your face up so the light of the moon could let him see more clearly.

Your eyes couldn’t part from his, how he was watching carefully your wound and how the feeling of his thumb on your chin made you even more weak. This new feeling that you were experiencing was so unexpected that at some point, you being under his eyes, make you feel uncomfortable. Until you saw his jaw getting clenched and the anger in his eyes.

“Who this did to you?” He said firmly going straight to your eyes. His eyes felt like they were penetrating you, so with slow hands you grabbed his hand that was holding your chin with the intention to end the moment right there, but he wasn’t letting it go. “Was it Rafe?” He asked more firmly now, but with more anger in his voice. Once you gave him the eye contact that he was longing for, he immediately understood what your eyes were trying to say. He did a little nod and bit his lower lip once he let go of your chin and did a quick turn to walk out of the house, already knowing where his next stop was going to be. And you did too.

“JJ!” You yelled trying to stop him, but it was too late, he was already out of the house.

“Cameron!” You heard JJ yell once you stepped out of the house with quick steps. You saw how JJ was quickly walking towards Rafe, who was now looking at him with a grin.

“Pogue! It’s Mr. Cameron for y-” Rafe was saying, but JJ’s fist didn’t let him finish since it was already on his face, leaving it with a incredibly big pain.

John B immediately appeared after that and grabbed JJ by the arm, with the help of Pope. You saw Rafe grabbing his chin in pain, but a couple of seconds later he was already going towards JJ, clearly not letting the Pogue get the first and last punch. But your body and hand on his chest made him stop.

“Stop it!”

“You’re very stupid for doing that Pogue!” Rafe yelled with blood all over his mouth and chin, making him look even more crazier than he already was.

“Rafe! Leave him alone!” You yelled again with more anger, hoping to get his attention.

He looked at you disgusted. “You? Defending him?” He pointed at JJ with his eyes on you, but once he heard JJ moving again he went back to him and you turned around, seeing the disaster that was behind you.

“You fucking leave her alone!” JJ yelled while he was being held by his friends. “Fucking asshole!”

“JJ? What is going on?” Kie asked looking worryingly at you and your chin.

“You dirty Pogue!” Rafe moved you aside with strength that almost made you lose balance to go towards JJ, but you recovered quickly and grabbed his arm with your whole strength, making him slower his steps.

“Rafe! Please! Do not hurt him!” This time, it seemed that Rafe heard you and actually took your words into his brain, since he stopped and looked back at you.

“You’re lucky my girl is here, Maybank.” He said looking dead at you in the eyes with a grin coming out of his lips. You felt the tears fighting to come out, but you hold them back, not wanting to show any type of feeling on that moment.

“Your girl?” You heard JJ ask with anger going back and forth from you and Rafe. But after a couple of seconds he stopped on you, with his heavy breathing and the pain in his eyes, he asked softly: “Are you back with him?”

On that moment you knew that Rafe said something that led to Kie also saying something, but you didn’t hear anything of it. All your attention was on JJ and his eyes, you could feel the pain in his eyes just like they were your own. Your heart was beating faster than ever and your mind was having so many questions. Your eyes saw a single tear coming down his cheek and that made your heart drop to your stomach, making you want to leave Rafe’s side and hug him like there was no tomorrow. But before you could do anything else, he let go of John B’s grip and quickly turned around, leaving the beach behind.

Your feet stayed put since you felt Rafe’s arm going around your shoulders, the party still going around you and Kie talking shit about the Kooks, but somehow you couldn’t hear any of it. It was all silence and one thought going on and on on your mind: You don’t do all of that for someone you hate.

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[spider6oy]

Details || JJ Maybank

summary: Y/N has a crush on JJ, but he has no idea about it. Instead of confronting him and telling him, she has to suffer and listen to him brag about his hookups/watch him flirt with random tourons until she can’t anymore and ends up distancing herself from JJ. basically this is inspired by maisie peters’ song ‘details’, so i would recommend giving that a listen whilst you read this because that song would describe this better than i can.

warnings: swearing, under-age drinking, angst (if that’s even what you can call this)

word count: 2430

“Well, well, well. . . look at what the cat dragged in.” Kiara commented as she took a sip from her bottle of beer, catching the Pogues’ attention and turning it towards the blonde fast approaching the porch.

“JJ, what was the hold up, man? Didn’t we say to meet for ten?” Pope questioned, leaning against the railing.

You watched as JJ walked up the steps of The Chateau with a smirk tugging at his lips. You couldn’t help but catch glimpses of dark red bruises that started at the top of his neck and disappeared under the collar of his shirt, his blonde hair seemed shaggier than usual – as if someone had been running their fingers through it continuously and he was wearing the exact same clothes that he had been wearing the day before.

He had hooked up.

“Yeah, sorry guys, but I got a bit held up. . . if you know what I mean?” He sent the group a suggestive look that had Pope and John B hooting and hollering, congratulating the boy, but you were far from jovial.

You had been crushing on JJ since December of last year. You had always been close with him, ever since you were kids. You, JJ, and John B had been the core-3 until Pope and Kiara had joined the Pogues. But you had always been closer to JJ. You had put it down to the fact that you practically told each other everything; dreams, nightmares, future plans, current plans. There were no secrets between you two. That’s what had made the bond between you two so strong and unbreakable. Well, that was until your heart decided to latch itself onto JJ and never let go.

Ever since you had developed your crush on JJ, a rift had erupted between the two of you and you both could tell. You hung out with each other less; JJ was either with John B or some random Touron and you were either in your room (alone) or with Kie. You talked less; you couldn’t remember a time where you hadn’t had a goodnight or good morning message from JJ. Finally, you didn’t share your secrets. But, how could you? How could you tell JJ that you had a crush on him? How could you tell the boy you had known practically your whole life that you were in love with him? You couldn’t. You had decided that from the beginning.

You had gone over this conversation so many times in your head and you always came up with the same answers. One; No Pogue on Pogue macking. Two; It could (and would) potentially ruin the friendship. And three; He probably wouldn’t feel the same – that was the deal breaker. And it didn’t matter how many times Kiara would tell you that JJ felt the same, and that you should go for it, because in your mind he could never possibly feel the same way. If he did, why would he still be sleeping with other people?

“Oh my gosh, Bro, you should have seen her though. Like, when I tell you she was into some freaky shit—I mean, she was into some freaky shit. . .” You couldn’t listen anymore.

You turn towards Kie, who was sat next to you, and it seemed she already knew what you were thinking. She gives your arm a sympathetic squeeze and tells you that she would call you tomorrow, sending you a supportive smile. You try and smile back, but you know it probably looks forced.

As you stand from the bench, all eyes seem to land on your frame.

“Hey, are you leaving? We haven’t even gone fishing yet?” John B questioned, confused.

“Yeah, you can’t leave, I haven’t even gotten to the best part!” JJ added – which made you just want to burst into flames right there on the spot.

You tried to play it cool, rolling your eyes lightly and pushing the strap of your bag higher up onto your shoulder. “And I would so love to hear that, JJ, but I just remembered that I was meant to be helping my Dad with something today, and just completely forgot. I’m really sorry guys, but I promise I’ll make up for it.” You shot them all apologetic glances and quickly made your way down the steps of The Chateau, wanting nothing more than to just curl up in your bed and cry yourself to sleep.

-

It was a Friday night and the Pogues were throwing a kegger. You were currently sat on a log next to Kiara, laughing at something Pope had said, and were taking large sips from your cup of beer. “Okay, okay listen. Looking back on it now, being on the math team may have put me at a disadvantage in some perspectives--”

“Some? More like all, Pope.” Kiara argued, a laugh slipping from between her lips.

“Well, what if we had to suddenly solve an algebra equation?” Pope countered, gesturing with his hands, as if they could argue for him.

“Why would we need to suddenly solve an algebra problem? When would that ever happen?” Kiara bartered back.

You couldn’t help but giggle from your perspective of the conversation. The pair seemed to be becoming more engrossed in the argument as time went on and you couldn’t help but think that maybe they would make a cute couple – if they would stop arguing for 5 seconds. You continued to drink, laugh, and basically have a good time, until JJ showed up. With a girl.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” JJ asked as he sat down on a log opposite from you, bringing the girl down to sit on his lap. The taste of the beer in your mouth quickly began to turn sour and you suddenly had the urge to throw up.

“Hey JJ, who’s your. . . friend?” Kie questioned, subtly shifting closer towards you as a sign of comfort. Your grip on the red plastic cup tightened, almost to the point of crushing it, as you watched JJ squeeze the girls’ side – who you learnt was called Jessica.

It hurt. It hurt like hell watching as JJ acted so affectionately towards this random Touron; who he would no doubt forget about by this time tomorrow. You watched as he whispered unheard words into her ear, eliciting small giggles and flirtatious smiles from Jessica. You watched as his hand seemed to rest on the bare skin of her thigh, his thumb rubbing small circles into the skin. You watched as he stared at the girl with hunger and lust filled eyes, probably wanting nothing more than to leave the party and take her back to The Chateau. You watched every single small movement and action, feeling like your heart was tearing apart bit by bit as you continued to witness their displays of affection. All you could think about was how much you wanted to be that girl sat on JJ’s lap, wanting him to be holding you protectively and whispering sweet nothings into your ears.

You finally tore your gaze away from the couple and turned towards Kie, tears already brimming in your eyes. “Hey, Kie, I gotta—I gotta go. I just. . . I can’t stay and watch, y’know?” Your voice was a whisper, but the painful tone you used was clear as day.

Kiara nodded and gave your hand a small squeeze, “Yeah, I understand Y/N. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” You sent Kiara one last pitiful smile before standing from your spot on the log.

“Wait Y/N, are you leaving already?” You stopped at the sound of JJ’s questioning tone. You nod at him, somehow not having the confidence in yourself to speak; unsure of how your voice would come out. You didn’t want to let everyone know that you were practically on the edge of a full-blown meltdown. “But the party has barely even started? You can’t be drunk already?” You roll your eyes (silently praying that a tear wouldn’t slip out) and stifle a laugh.

“Just feeling a bit off is all JJ, must have been a bad keg, or something.” You hoped that JJ didn’t notice the lie. He used to be able to tell whenever you were lying, it was easy as breathing to him. It was just another way that showed how close you two were. You couldn’t lie to each other. But recently your lies were not being questioned, instead being taken as the truth.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?” You didn’t stay to wait for a response. Instead, you turned on your heel and headed for the road that lead you away from The Chateau.

-

You wiped the stream of tears falling down your cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt. You had left The Chateau about 10 minutes ago and had done nothing but cried as you continued to walk home. Your sobs and sniffles seemed to echo in the quiet night, easily alerting anyone around you that you were crying. You were hopeful that no one was around. You had to continually remind yourself that everyone was down by The Chateau, and that no one would be able to hear your cries from here.

“Y/N? Hey, Y/N!”

Scratch that, one person could hear your cries. Possibly the last person you would want to catch you crying.

At the sound of JJ’s fast approaching footsteps; you quickly wiped at your face, trying to rid yourself of all your tears (and any possible hint that you had been crying). You turned around to see him jogging the last few steps – no Jessica in sight. You wiped your nose as JJ came to stand a few feet away from you, hands instantly going into the pockets of his shorts. “Hey, what was that back there?” You shrugged your shoulders and silently fiddled with the sleeves of your shirt.

“I thought I told you? I’m just feeling a bit off.” You answered, staring at the ground in front of you.

“Yeah, ‘off’ is one way of putting it.” JJ remarked, kicking a random stone with his boot.

You looked up from the floor and sent him a confused look, “What’s that supposed to mean, JJ?” He scoffed as he finally looked towards you.

You prayed that the lack of light camouflaged your red and puffy eyes.

“Are you seriously going to play dumb with me right now, Y/N? Me, of all people?” You could hear the frustration and sadness in his voice, even the slight wobble that clung to the ends of his words. You nervously bit at your lip, trying to drag your eyes away from his but you couldn’t. “We both know something has been off between us recently. I don’t know when it started, and frankly I don’t care. All I care about is the fact that my best friend is pulling away from me and I need to know why?” His voice was almost at a shout now, all of his emotions seeming to get the better of him. You stood there silent; knowing what to say but not wanting to say it. “Why, Y/N?!” JJ was shouting now.

“I don’t want to talk about, okay?” You retorted, tears beginning to fall once again.

JJ dragged a hand through his hair in frustration, taking a step towards you. “No, that’s not ‘okay’ Y/N. It’s completely not ‘okay’ with me! Why have you been pulling away from me?! Do you not want to be friends anymore, or something? Is that it?!” You could tell that he was unravelling now. His emotions were finally taking over. He was all over the place; voice wavering, arms flailing, tears streaming. You sobbed at the sight; wanting nothing more than to take the step forward and wrap your arms around him. But now wasn’t the right time. Right now, he was angry with you.

“No, No, that’s not it JJ! I promise, I do want to be friends with you—”

“Then tell me what the fuck’s going on, Y/N!” His voice cracked, “Just. . . please, Y/N.” He practically begged.

You looked up at him (the both of you subconsciously moving closer and closer together) watching as the tears spilled from his pain-filled eyes, his lips wobbling as he tried to hold in the sobs that clearly wanted to escape. You didn’t doubt the fact that your expression probably mirrored his. You stifled a sob as you held your shirt sleeve up to your mouth, trying to somehow silence your cries long enough for you to get your words out.

“I’m in love with you, JJ.”

His eyes widened and more tears seemed to escape. He blinked rapidly as he took a slight step back. Your heart clenched at the very sight and you felt as though all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the air.

“You—You’re in love with me? Y/N, wha--?” His words came out in mumbles. All of his emotions seemed to water down until he was left with one; confusion.

You protectively crossed your arms over your chest, your hands resting on your shoulders -- as if in some way this would protect your heart and keep it from breaking even more. “Listen JJ, I’m not expecting you to feel the same way. Honestly, I’m not. And—and that��s fine with me, it really is. But, I can’t. . . I can’t listen to you talk about your one-night stands, and I can’t sit and watch you flirt with Jessica, or Jennifer, or whoever else you plan on macking in the future. Because it just hurts too much, JJ.” You let out a shaky breath, wiping the remnants of your fallen tears.

“Y/N—”

“So, let’s not talk about it, let’s just. . . not talk about it JJ, alright? Let’s just, pretend like it never happened okay?” You nod at your own words, more as an attempt at convincing yourself than JJ. “I’ll just keep this all to myself and then, you’ll keep it all to yourself.” You let out a bated breath as you begin to take steps away from the blonde in front of you, trying to run away from the mess you had just created. “But, just spare me the details, JJ.” You look up at JJ one last time before turning on your heels and walking away from him. Leaving him all alone under the glow of a flickering street light with only one thing on his mind; he was in love with you too.

part 2

[dynamightsfave]

Best kept secret - JJ Maybank

(not my gif! credits to owner)

JJ Maybank x kook!fem!reader

summary: reader and jj have an argument and she says she needs space, only for jj to show the world how much she means to him the next day. bonus: a hot tub moment and a little blurb of the rest of s1 because i couldn’t help myself.

warnings: there’s curse words, mention of child abuse, mention of a few illegal activities (this is obx we’re talking about)

masterlist

***

There were two things everyone knew about JJ Maybank: 1, he appeared to flirt with every girl that had a heartbeat; and 2, he hated Kooks. Now here’s one thing nobody knew: he was dating Y/n L/n, the only child of the L/ns, one of wealthiest families in the whole island that was Outer Banks. A Kook. So, as it seems, he didn’t actually flirt with every girl, everyone just thought he did. He’s loyal, he wouldn’t dare cheat on his girl.

It all started when they were around ten years old. He was on the beach, crying over how his dad had once again beat him up, when someone sat down next to him. At first, JJ had been ready to look up at that person and tell them to fuck off, but when he saw her, looking at him with that beautiful smile of hers, the only thing he could do was gawk. Y/n had been taking a walk along the beach, looking for seashells when he saw his figure shaking on the ground. She just wanted to help.

Long story short, Y/n took care of JJ’s bruises and cuts —which turned into a usual thing over the years—, and they became friends in the process. Ten year olds make friends faster than a spoiled kook spends their money.

JJ became Y/n’s best friend in a matter of days, and he couldn’t believe he had actually made friends with a Kook. But he also knew that her family wasn’t the stereotypical kook family. Nope, Y/n’s grandparents —from both her mother and her father— had worked their asses off so that her parents could have the life she has now. In other words, she came from a long line of Pogues, and her family didn’t mind at all that she hung out with the Maybank boy. They gave him a job and everything.

The L/ns were good people, and everyone loved them, which led to poor Y/n being idealized as this nice girl that was a goody two shoes. Which she wasn’t. She was nice, sure, and she liked to help; but she also liked adventure and partying and having fun —she was a teenager, after all.

JJ and N/n started dating the summer before their sophomore year, and for a whole year, nobody knew. In fact, it was still like that. Y/n was like JJ’s best kept secret. The Pogues knew he saw her, because he worked for her parents, but they’d never known he was even friends with the girl, let alone her boyfriend. He didn’t want anyone to know.

In his mind, that would ruin her reputation —Y/n rolled her eyes every time he used that excuse. But she loved JJ, so she’d wait until he was ready to tell anyone other than her parents.

 [...]

A knock on the window of her balcony made Y/n look up from her book. The outline of a person stood in the dark, and if she hadn’t memorized that figure a thousand times, she probably would’ve been scared. So she got up and opened the door, going back to her bed almost without looking back.

“I have two pages left of this chapter and I’ll be right with you, babe” she rushed, getting only the sound of the balcony closing as response.

Then, JJ fell on her bed, looking up at her ceiling. She only took one glance at him, but it was enough for her to forget her book. Her little lamp illuminated his face, and she wished she could say she had forgotten about the book because of how gorgeous he was. However, the bruises and dried blood that were on his face stood out more. His eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks wet and his nose red, twitching with every sniffle that came out of him. He looked up at his girlfriend slowly, and that was all she needed to hurriedly lay down next to him and pull his body into an embrace. He broke down again.

Y/n’s heart broke, and she tried not to cry, reminding herself she was supposed to be strong for him. So she just held him tighter, muttering sweet nothings to him and reminding him that he was okay, that she got him, passing her fingers through his hair.

They don’t know how long they stayed there, the boy shaking in the girl’s arms, but at some point, JJ‘s breath went back to normal, and Y/n looked down at him, pressing one more kiss to his hair. She felt him shuffle in her grip until his face laid next to her, and he kissed her.

“Thank you” he mumbled after the kiss.

“Hey, of course” she reassured him looking into his eyes “I love you”

JJ looked down, he couldn’t help but feel guilty every time she told him she loved him but he couldn’t say it back. She had told him millions of times that it didn’t matter, that she would wait until he was ready, but he could only wonder why it was so fucking difficult.

“Let’s clean you up a little, huh?” she pecked his lips one more time.

She stood up and entered her bathroom, to come out with the small box that was full of medical supplies she had bought for situations like this, that unfortunately happened more often than she liked. She sat behind him, lifting his head up and placing it on her lap.

“What happened this time?” she asked softly, brushing his hair out of his forehead and starting to clean the blood around the forming bruise.

JJ let out a huff and a hiss when the alcohol made contact with the cut.

“Please don’t be mad... I got arrested, again” he waited for her to make a comment, but nothing came, so he continued “Topper and Rafe jumped Pope when he was delivering some stuff, so he sunk Topper’s boat in return. I took the blame, ended up in jail, old man came to pick me up”

“You have to be more careful, J. I get that you were helping your friend, I am so proud of you for that, but at the rate you’re going, you’ll end up in jail or juvie for good” Y/n knew a thing or two about that, her dad was a lawyer, and her mother owned a company, so she needed to know about laws.

“But I’ll have you as my lawyer, and you’ll bail me out” he winked with a goofy smile.

“I’m serious, JJ. God, he got you good” she grimaced “You sure you don’t want to call child services?”

“N/n, I’ve told you a million times, I can handle it. You don’t have to worry” he leaned up and pecked her lips.

“You telling me not to worry isn’t gonna stop me from worrying, babe” she frowned, finishing his face “Do you have anything under that shirt?”

“A good eight pack of abs” he winked with a smirk, chuckling quietly when she rolled her eyes “Nah, he only got the face and arms this time. I’m fine, baby”

“How much is the fine? Don’t roll your eyes at me, JJ. I am gonna pay for that, no matter how much it is. If I don’t your dad will probably kick your ass again!”

“And I’ll be okay! I’m not gonna let you pay for my mistakes, Y/n”

“How much, JJ?” she greeted her teeth “C’mon, I just want to help you!”

“Why?”

“Are you seriously asking me why?” she incredulously asked back “Because I care about you, JJ! Fuck, I love you, you know that! I don’t want you going to jail or juvie or getting beaten up by your dad! So why won’t you let me help you?!”

By then, they were arguing, both standing up facing each other.

“I don’t want you paying for my mistakes” he repeated with a stern look “Plus, if you helped me, people would know about us”

“I still don’t know why that would be so bad. I don’t care of what people think of me. I never have, and I’m not gonna start now” Y/n stressed “You know, everyone in this goddamn island has secrets. And they all think they’re so well kept... Sarah Cameron’s dad is more dangerous than he appears, Sheriff Peterkins can be lured very easily, and there’s people out there that would kill to keep theirs. They all have secrets, but the only one that doesn’t make sense keeping is this one!” she motioned between the two of them “We’ve known each other since we were ten, and yet you’ve never even considered letting your friends know”

The blond didn’t answer, he just stood there staring at the floor. Y/n’s eyes were filled with tears. She just wanted to help him, was that so bad? He made it look like keeping the secret was a burden, when it was him that didn’t want it out.

“I don’t want it to be a secret anymore” she spoke after a moment.

“We’ve talked about this, N/n-”

“No. You didn’t understand what I was saying” she sniffled, packing up all the healing kit on her bed “I don’t want it to be a secret anymore. As in, you and I are not a secret anymore because there’s no more us” she told him, watching as his eyes widened in realization.

“Wha- No, c’mon baby don’t say that, you don’t mean it” he approached her, carefully taking her arm, tears welling up in his own eyes “I just- I can’t let you pay a 30K bill”

“You don’t want my help? Fine. I’m done helping you, for good” she tried to seem strong, but they could both see right through her mask “Please leave. Midsummers is tomorrow and my mother wanted me to get a good sleep”

“Don’t do this, N/n, don’t go to bed with us fighting” he pleaded. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Look, I don’t want to break up, we’re not doing that, I just need to relax. Give me a day, please.” she pleaded and got into bed, turning off the light.

Y/n closed her eyes tightly, whole body tensed to make sure she didn’t let out any sobs. She knew JJ was hesitating behind her, and she could perfectly picture him opening his mouth to try and say something, but then he just sighed and left how he had entered.

 [...]

Midsummers. A party that happened at the country club every year, exclusively for Kooks to enjoy how rich they were. Even if the L/ns were probably the chillest Kook family there was, they were also members of the club. In fact, F/n L/n was the best lawyer the place had had in a very long time.

Usually, Y/n was all up for pretending for a day that she was just as much of a rich kid as the Thornton son so that the other families could get their annual “resident good girl vitamin”, but this year, she didn’t even feel like getting out of her bed.

After JJ left, she had let all the tears and sobs out, and fallen sleep on a soaked pillow. It was safe to say she was not in the mood for anything but stay wrapped up in her covers and cry, and her mother actually considered letting her stay, but then her father came and told her she needed a distraction. Unfortunately, he was right.

So, with her mom’s help, Y/n put on her midnight blue dress and matching sandals, letting her mother put on some light make up and a small flower crown —because apparently, that was what everyone was going for that year, a flower crown.

[...]

And that’s how she ended up in the club’s terrace, a cup of some liquor in hand and staring at the waves that crashed at the shore. Y/n usually kept to herself in these kind of events, she had never really loved any of the rich kids. She couldn’t believe how they could give themselves so much importance, like they were part of the English royal family or something. They were kids, for fuck’s sake! Maybe that’s why she never had a problem when talking to JJ, and why she liked to hear about his friends so much.

N/n had envied him for having a friendship that strong with someone else. The closest she had gotten to that other than with him was the Kook princess herself, but it only lasted for a couple of weeks. That’s how long the project for French had lasted, and when it ended, neither of them had enough guts to ask if they were going to continue being friends, so their friendship was limited to being nice and saying hi each time they saw each other.

There were very few kids in that party she actually liked. 3, to be exact, and one of them was a Pogue and other identified as one. Kiara Carrera, Pope Heyward and Sarah Cameron. And while she tried to act all nice to the people she didn’t like, she didn’t realize how the two Pogues’ conversation had somehow turned into her.

“She’s probably the only one in this whole party that’s not self-absorbed or a bitch” Kiara said, looking at her and not bothering to hide it.

“First thing she did when she got here was get a burger” Pope told her “And she like, made it herself. She told me I was too busy with the orders, and asked if she could make it herself; and after she did, she paid me twenty bucks!” he still couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

“It’s a shame she keeps to herself. I mean, I’ve talked to her a couple of times, and she really is as nice and amazing as people say”

“Last year, I messed up an order and she literally took the blame. Said she’d been talking to me and distracting me, but she deadass just arrived”

The topic stayed on the L/n girl for a couple of more minutes, until Pope said some random fact and it changed completely. In the meantime, Y/n had realized she had forgotten to take out JJ’s ring from her middle finger, and was fiddling with it thinking about the night before. She bit her lip, choosing to down her drink and give it a rest, distract herself.

Night fell over Outer Banks, and Y/n was truly done with the party. Rafe Cameron had had the audacity to try and flirt with her, a couple of times, and because of that, now she was stuck to her mother’s side. She paid no mind to what M/n talked about with the other woman, looking around the people absentmindedly, a new glass of liquor in hand.

A mop of blond hair caught the girl’s eye. She’d recognize that head anywhere, but he had yet to realize he was being watched, too busy trying to act like he was supposed to be there. Y/n knew he wasn’t. Unfortunately for her, just as he passed by with a tray of drinks, the woman her mother was talking to stopped him.

“Bring me some more of this” she didn’t bother watching her tone or asking politely, and JJ’s jaw tensed for a second, nodding curtly.

He lifted his head to ask if the others in the small group wanted something too, and his eyes widened when they fell on her. “Goddess” was what came to mind when he saw her. He shook his head a little and gulped before asking. He’d been moping around since he left the L/n house, realizing he’d been an idiot.

“No, JJ, thank you” M/n smiled softly, letting him go.

He smiled gratefully back, eyeing Y/n once more before hurrying away. She knew that he was up to something, the poorly made flower patterned bow and the fact that he was definitely not supposed to be here, adding to the common knowledge that JJ Maybank was never up to any good, made her keep a close eye on him —and maybe she just wanted to watch him.

Thank God she kept an eye on him, because as soon as he was done giving Sarah some note, that she knew had something to do with her avoiding Topper all day long, Rafe and his goons came up to him. The Cameron boy held that stupid smile on his face, one that screamed “CAREFUL. This boy is dangerous”.

With an annoyed huff to herself, Y/n excused herself and walked to the nearest guard.

“Hey” she called, getting the man’s attention “See those boys right there? Yeah, the one dressed as a waiter is gonna run in a few seconds. I’ll give you a hundred bucks right now if you follow them and stop the pretty girls from doing something” she took the bill out of her wallet and offered it to him.

As soon as the guard took it, and after a nervous glance around with wavering smiles and shaky chuckles, JJ made a run for it. Y/n pointed at the boys running after him and ushered the guy to follow them.

Not even five minutes later, he came back with JJ in his hold, the teenager muttering all kinds of smartass comments. Y/n had to stifle a laugh, and although her mother reprimanded her softly, she could see a smile on her face too.

“What did he do this time?” the amused voice of her dad came from behind, making her let out an “eh...” accompanied by a shrug.

However, the L/n family seemed to be the only ones that found it amusing, because all around them gasps and muttering was all that could be heard.

“Whoo!” JJ suddenly exclaimed, and Y/n arched a brow in anticipation to whatever antics he was going to pull “It’s okay everybody! Do not panic, let’s leave it to the men and women in uniform, huh! Let’s hear it for them!” he continued, clapping, as the guard escorted him outside. Then he spotted Rose Cameron “Rose! You look like Lady Liberty, it’s good to see you again” the man turned him around, and he kept getting people’s food and drinks on the way.

“Let go of him!” Kiara came to the rescue, having all heads snap towards her as her parents tried to stop her, but she paid no mind “You can’t just boot him! I invited him here! I’m a member of this club!” she came up with all kinds of excuses, and Y/n couldn’t help but smile.

All of a sudden, JJ pushed the man that held him away, a rush of adrenaline pumping through his veins.

“Ey! Mandatory Power hour at Rixon’s, Kie! Pope, that goes for you too!” the blond turned around, walking backwards “Workers of the world unite! Throw off your chains!” and then Y/n couldn’t hold it anymore, she started laughing.

JJ stopped for a second, his eyes falling on the grinning girl, looking incredible and like she was actually having fun in that place for the first time. The adrenaline kicked again. He saluted John B before turning back around again, this time pointing straight at the girl he loved.

“Hey, N/n!” he called, smiling brightly at her and ignoring the stares people were giving at him, most of hatred because “how dare this nobody troublemaker even look at their precious girl?!”. “You look absolutely stunning, but then again, you always do” his confidence grew when she bit down her lower lip and looked down to hide her smile, like she always did when he flirted with her “You didn’t want it to be a secret, right?” he arched an amused brow, with what she knew as his “challenge accepted” smirk “Everyone, I want you to know that I am helplessly in love with that girl over there! That’s right, Y/n L/n! I love you, gorgeous!” he blew a kiss her way and winked, smirk permanently placed on his lips as he urged his friends to go.

All the Kooks stared at the four carefree teens as they left the place, astounded. Y/n on the other hand, held a huge smile over her lips, and she felt invincible. M/n and F/n took their daughter’s hands, squeezing them in a happy manner. She giggled to herself a couple more times and then jumped, throwing a loud laugh to the air without caring how the others looked at her.

[...]

Later that night, Y/n parked her car right behind the Tannyhill property, where she knew Sarah would sneak out. Sure enough, she didn’t even have to wait five minutes when the girl came out.

“Need a ride?” she offered, startling Sarah.

“Shit Y/n! You almost gave me a heart attack” she placed a hand on her chest.

“Hop in, Cameron” she chuckled “You’ve got a Prince Charming to meet”

“How do you know?” she inquired, but still opened the door of the Jeep and got inside.

“I know a lot of the stuff that happens in this island. On both sides” she waved off.

“Okay, so I have a Prince Charming to meet, wat about you?” she wiggled her brows “What was that with JJ before, huh?”

“What I have is a crackhead idiot to talk to” she huffed with a smile, once again biting her lip as she thought of the events from the party.

Sarah arched a brow at her, but didn’t say anything.

[...]

Y/n spent around ten minutes leaning back against her Jeep before the Pogue van appeared van John B came out of it.

“Princess is on top of the tower, Prince Charming” she told him, and he jumped in his spot, making her chuckle “She’s waiting, dude”

“Thank you” he smiled; she nodded and ushered him out.

She approached the van, where three heads poked from the back door and the passenger seat.

“Hi, Kiara. Hey Pope” she waved with a soft smile, and they returned the gesture a little confused “JJ”

“N/n” he greeted, the confidence from before had washed off and now he wasn’t sure about he was supposed to act “What are you doing here?”

“Gave Sarah a ride so she could meet her Prince Charming” she jerked her head back “Thought it was the perfect excuse to see my crackhead idiot” she swayed back and forth on her feet with an innocent smile, as the blond had formed a perfect “o” with his mouth and a faint blush had settle on his cheeks “Rafe didn’t get you too hard, right?” she furrowed her brows this time, taking a step forwards in worry.

“U-Uh, no, I’m- Wait how do you know about that?” he stuttered, and the other two Pogues couldn’t believe what they were seeing in front of them.

JJ had never stuttered in front of a girl, never even faltered in his flirty behavior. When he had declared his love for the L/n daughter, they had thought it was a joke, but apparently it wasn’t.

“How do you think the guard knew where to look?” she arched her perfect brow at him, smirking when he gaped at her.

“I thought you were done helping me. For good. Thought you said you needed space” he muttered, looking down at his arms that were against the window.

“I thought you didn’t want anyone to know” she shot back “I also didn’t know you loved me” she added after a few seconds of her biting the inside of her cheek.

“Love” he corrected “I love you, as in present, right now” he looked straight into her eyes for a second, and then hesitated “Do you- do you still love me?”

“Still?” Y/n heard Pope whisper, only to be shushed by Kiara.

She paid no mind to them, focusing on JJ in front of her, as she smiled at him and nodded bashfully.

“I told you I loved you not even 24 hours ago, feelings like that don’t just disappear, dummy. Besides, I told you we weren’t breaking up” he grinned, quickly opening the passenger door and basically launching at her.

“I love you” he muttered into her neck, placing a kiss there “I love you so fucking much”

“I love you too” she answered in pure glee “You know what else I love? How you shouted it to all those Kooks! Did you see their faces?! Oh, they were glorious!” she tilted her head backwards laughing.

“I know! You were right, we should’ve done this sooner” he told her, earning a punch.

“And you realize that now?! What the hell, dude? I’ve been telling you for ages! This is just another proof that you need to listen to me more” JJ shook his head with a smile, leaning down to capture her lips in his.

“Okay, whoa, hold on” Pope interrupted again “How long has this been going on?”

“Us knowing each other or us dating?”

“Both!” Kiara exclaimed this time, unable to contain her smile.

“We’ve been best friends since we were ten, and we started dating a little over a year ago”

“How did we not know?!”

“N/n’s been my best kept secret since I met her. Nobody knew until now, but she’s been bugging me forever”

“It’s just so stupid the way you were worried about what they’d think! Who effing cares?!” Y/n shook her head, then looked at the others with a nervous expression “Hey, so umm... This might be out of place, and you can all say no, but uh... could I join you guys in your little treasure hunt? I don’t want a part of it, I just want the adventure. I-I could give you stuff you need and don’t have, that way you won’t have to steal it, o-or give you access to places...”

The three seemed to share an unspoken conversation, like the ones she had with JJ when they spent nights in the living room with her parents. Then, all at the same time, they smiled and nodded. She jumped forward, wrapping the other two in a hug. They laughed and hugged back.

“Welcome to the Pogues” Kiara smiled “I guess the “No Pogue on Pogue macking” rule is out the window now” she chuckled, as JJ passed his arm around his girl’s waist.

“Oh, you’ve no idea” he said, pressing her against his body, laughing softly when she hit him in the chest.

“I have to warn you. We’re not the only ones after the gold”

“How do you know?”

“She just knows stuff about what happens in the Outer Banks, you learn not to question it. I don’t even know how she knows about us going after it, I didn’t tell her”

JJ was right. Y/n knew a lot of stuff about a lot of people, and you just had to learn not to question it. It was like she had eyes and ears all over the place, but at the same time, she worked alone. People in Outer Banks all had secrets, and so did Y/n L/n.

bonus: hot tub moment + end of s1

 The Pogues —plus Sarah and Y/n now— had found the gold!

They had to leave Kiara and Sarah on a boat together for a whole day so that they would make up, then sneak into the haunted house of an axe murderer, the girls almost had a chimney metal stick thingy speared through their heads, and then they got shot at —which apparently wasn’t the first time it happened, and Y/n almost killed JJ for not telling her— but they found it!

Unfortunately, everything seemed to go downhill from there. Their glory was short lived and when they went to sell the few gold gallons John had taken with him, they were set up. A shotgun pointed straight at the brunette at the wheel, and then they were all pressing themselves against the floor. JJ had not been happy with that. In fact, he’d been so furious, he’d driven them all to the guy’s house and stolen 25K from him.

“Here you go babe” he handed Y/n a stack of bills.

“J, you can’t do this” she carefully told him. She’d been with him inside the house and witnessed how he’d reacted to JB; she didn’t want to make it worse “I understand that you are mad, but stealing money from a drug dealer that pointed a gun at us is not a good idea”

The blond inhaled through his nose, his eyebrows meeting in the middle. He was sick and tired of being messed with, first by Kooks and now by the asshole that sold his dad coke. He wasn’t gonna put it back.

“We’re tired of your shit” John B told him, and from the corner of his eye he could see Y/n take a sharp breath.

“Oh, my shit?”

“Yeah, your shit”

“Your “pulling guns on people” shit” Kiara continued.

“You’re acting like a maniac!”

“Okay, hey! Let’s calm down a little, alright?” Y/n pushed herself to be in front of her boyfriend.

“I took the fall for you, Pope!” JJ ignored her “Know how much I owe because of you?”

“I was gonna pay you back!”

“I just did!” he hollered “Pay it back. Right here, right now, by myself. You know what? That’s exactly what I’m gonna do. Go off by myself” he took the bag with the money and left, ignoring his girlfriend’s calls.

Y/n tried to go after him, but John B and Kiara got a hold of her and shook their heads.

[...]

“Maybe he’ll go home?” Sarah proposed.

They were all sitting on The Wreck, trying to decide what to do with the whole situation. They didn’t know what to do of JJ’s outburst, and they still hadn’t talked about how or when to take out the gold. Everything was a whole mess.

“There’s a 0% chance that JJ goes home” Pope assured.

However, the more Y/n thought about it, the more she was convinced JJ would go to his own house. She frowned at her hands, that rested in her lap, and then two more hands were placed on top of hers. She looked up to see the other two girls smiling at her, and she nodded with a smile.

“I don’t know about that, Pope. He said he just paid for restitution, and who is the person that was angriest at him for owing 30K?” she arched a brow, biting her lip. She was worried for the boy “I think he may want to prove Luke he can solve this... I’m gonna go look for him” she got up, ready to go search for her boyfriend.

“Hey, N/n” John B called “Be careful, okay?” he smiled softly at the girl.

It was incredible how easily the Pogues had let her in their group, honestly. She would’ve guessed they’d be as reluctant to her as they had been to Sarah, but there was none of that, and she was truly grateful for her new friends.

“I will”

First place she went to was JJ’s house. She approached the porch carefully, ringing the bell. A beat up and drunk Luke opened the door harshly, and looked her up and down.

“What do you want?"

”I’m looking for JJ” she told the man, and those words seemed to make him angry.

“That son of a bitch left a while ago, after he gave me this” he pointed to his nose and mouth, where dried blood stuck to it.

Without another word, Y/n backed away, basically running out of the property and getting on her bike. If Maybank father looked like that, who knew how Maybank son had. Now she really was scared and worried.

“Mom! Dad!” she burst inside her house, shouting for her parents “Lauren, Lauren hey!” M/n’s business partner and best friend came in her view from the kitchen, sipping on a coffee “Has JJ been here? Have you seen him today?”

“No sweetie, I haven’t. Is everything okay? Are you alright?” the woman had seen the teenager grow up, she was part of the family.

“I just, I need to find him” tears had started falling down her cheeks, and her breathing was getting heavier.

“Wait, honey, you need to sit down” Lauren got a chair and made Y/n sit down “Breathe, Y/n. What happened?”

“JJ, he- he and his friends had a fight, and he stormed out. I-I went over to his house looking for him, and his father opened up. He was bleeding, said JJ did that to him. If he has a busted lip, JJ is probably worse, and I need to know he’s okay” Y/n completely broke down in her aunt’s arms.

Lauren hugged her tightly, rubbing her back and trying to soothe her. They stayed like that for a little, until the teenager girl relaxed and got her breathing back to normal. She sniffled a little, meeting her aunt’s soft gaze and she nodded to let her know she was okay. Then her phone rung.

“Hello?” she answered, voice still a little shaky.

“N/n! We found him” Kiara didn’t sound very happy “He’s drunk at John B’s, and he’s wasted all the money”

“Hey! Don’t put it like that! I invested it!” JJ’s words were slurred and sounded distant.

“I’ll be there in ten” Y/n told her friend, and hung up “That asshole was getting drunk while I was over here worried about him!” she stormed out of her house, getting her car’s keys on the way out.

[...]

When Y/n got to John B’s, she jumped out of her Jeep, slamming the door behind her and followed the fairy lights —that she was positive were her boyfriend’s doing— to the part of the Chateau where you could see the water.

“Stop being emotional!” she heard JJ exclaim.

“What’s going on?” she asked, seeing Kie and Pope’s distraught faces.

The blonde boy in the Jacuzzi let his head fall and muttered a “shit”. Even drunk he knew that he was about to hear it from his girlfriend. Kie and Pope had barely taken their eyes off of him to look at the newly arrived girl. Pope motioned for her to go over to them. So she did, and he heard her gasp when she saw his front.

“Don’t say anything, please” JJ tried to keep his voice steady, but it cracked “I know what you��re gonna say, and-”

Y/n shook her head and hurried over to him, getting in the water without caring about her shoes or clothes. She just needed to hold him, and when she put her arms around him, he hunched over, pulling her closer and finally reaching breaking point.

“I can’t handle him anymore... I was going to kill him” he cried into her shoulder “I just wanted to do the right thing”

“I know, baby” she assured him, feeling another two pairs of arms wrap around the two of them “It’s gonna be okay, I promise”

Like she had done with her aunt before, they all stayed there for a while. When JJ calmed down, and Y/n was sure she wouldn’t start crying again when seeing his front, they all pulled away, and she led him to the guest room. She made him lay down and wait for her as she took the med kit from the bathroom. It wasn’t the box she had in hers that was specifically made to treat him, but she’d make it work.

After that, she threw herself next to him, and pulled the covers over the both of them. JJ shifted until he was able to rest his head on the crook of her neck, passing his arms around her frame and pulling himself closer to her as she tangled their legs together and put her hand in his hair, massaging his head and tracing patterns on his arm with her other hand.

“I still don’t wanna call child services” he muttered after a few moments “I don’t want him going to jail”

“I know” Y/n said, her voice as low as his “But I’m not letting you go into that house alone ever again. From now on you either sleep at mine, or here”

“You’re giving me a free card to sleep with you every day?” a small smirk made its way into his features “What would your parents think?” Y/n scoffed.

“Okay, first of all, there’s plenty of guest rooms I can leave you in. But you already had that free card. You’ve had it since we were ten. And you know that my parents don’t actually care if you stay, they’re even more relaxed when you do. They care about you, J”

“I know... Your parents are the best” he nuzzled his face in her neck, leaving a kiss. Y/n sighed and smiled when she felt his nose nudging her “Hey babe?” she hummed “I love you. A lot. Thank you for not leaving me”

“I love you a lot too. Don’t you ever thank anyone for something you deserve. You deserve the world; you hear me?” she propped herself up a little, taking his face in her hands and looking straight into his blue eyes.

She kissed him softly to convince him that he in fact deserved so much more than what life had given him. After she pulled away, she pecked his lips again and looked into his eyes again. He smiled and nodded, and Y/n rested her back once again, feeling JJ go back to his previous position too, and they drifted to sleep.

[...]

Things only seemed to get worse and worse for the group of teenagers. Their biggest problem was Ward Cameron, Sarah’s dad. Y/n knew he was dangerous; she didn’t know it was this bad. The guy was a power hungry, manipulative psycho.

He had killed Big John, then tried to kill John B, taken all the gold and tried to kidnap his daughter and take her to the Bahamas, only to end up not leaving Kildare County because his son fucked up big time. Rafe Cameron had shot and killed Sheriff Peterkin, and the two had blamed it on John B.

So now the teenager had a bounty on his head and was running around the Outer Banks.

“You think they’ll get out in time?” Y/n chewed on her lip as she watched The Phantom get into the water.

JJ had had to go back into his house to get the keys, and as promised, Y/n hadn’t let him go in alone. She’d stood in the corner of the living room as a drunk Luke Maybank hugged his son and raved about school.

Y/n stood on the ground as Pope and JJ lowered the boat into the water. She had a scratch on her cheek from the fight with Rafe and Barry they just had, and her arm already had a bruise that looked like a hand, along with more scratches on her elbows. Next to her, Kiara also had a hand bruise, only hers was placed on her neck, from Rafe’s attempt on choking her before Pope had showed up and hit him with a metal pole.

“JJ says the boat runs like none other, so they should be good. They just have to get here” as if on cue, a car sounded from the road.

“Baby girl, Kie, get over here. That’s a police car, in the boat” instead of listening, the girls squinted their eyes at the driver’s seat “Girls! C’mon!”

“Is that...”

The car came to a stop, and surprisingly, John Booker Routledge came out of it.

“Nice ride, right?” he exclaimed with a teasing smile “Shoupe lend it to me” he laughed, going to hug Kiara.

“I’ll believe that for now” she answered.

“Where’s Sarah?” the boy of the day asked once he was on the boat “She said we’d meet here”

“She uh- we haven’t seen her, John B” Y/n softly laid the news to him “You have to leave without her. Quick, the police are gonna be here any minute”

“She’s right, JB” Pope told him, but he was no longer listening.

JJ explained to him what he had to do once he got out, but John B could only focus on the empty road, hoping his girlfriend would suddenly appear running from the corner. But she didn’t. Still, he had to go. He turned to look at his friends one last time.

“Hey, I-I-I’m sorry” he breathed “For, you know, dragging all of you down with the gold hunt and basically throwing us off a cliff”

“John B yo- we were bound to fall off a cliff at some point” JJ smiles, pulling the other three closer “I’m glad we did it our way. Pogue Style” the Pogues chuckled, and Pope nudged Y/n.

“You’re a Pogue too now, N/n”

“That’s right! For life” John B nodded “I love you guys”

“We love you too. Now leave!”

“We’ll see you in two months down in Mexico”

The Phantom left the docks, and the four friends watched it disappear. Y/n left for the car, wanting to call her parents with JJ on her tow. F/n and M/n had called her earlier, and she could only rush her words, telling them that she and JJ were okay and that they needed to help John B, because he was innocent, then hung up. Her boyfriend wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, propping his chin on her shoulder and placing a kiss on her cheek. He nudged her softly and gestured forward. Kiara and Pope were kissing. N/n smiled and bit her lip, happy for the two.

But, sirens were heard from the end of the driveway, and soon police cars were piled up in front of them. JJ’s grip on Y/n’s tightened, and he pushed her behind him, maintaining his hand on her. Shoupe climbed out of the front car, and sighed at the group, gun up.

“Where’s John B?” he interrogated, as if he genuinely believed they’d tell him. When he didn’t get the answer he wanted, he moved forward and told them to put their hands up “JJ Maybank, I see you’re living up to the name”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/n immediately snapped, narrowing her eyes at the officer.

“Y/N L/n? What the hell are you doing here?”

“I’m hanging out with my boyfriend and my friends” she told him without hesitating “Don’t look at me like I’ve gone to the dark side, Shoupe. You don’t know me; you just see what you want to. Like everyone else” she scoffed “You gonna cuff me too or what?”

“Careful with how you treat her, asshole” JJ growled at the guy that cuffed her.

They were taken to a carp near the bay, just as the storm broke into Outer Banks and told to wait. They were all a wreck of nerves, Y/n could hardly sit still, and was trying to stay calm so that her gradually angrier boyfriend next to her wouldn’t try anything or pull something stupidly reckless. Her leg bounced up and down on her spot, until a hand landed on her thigh. JJ squeezed her thigh, and gave her a try of a reassuring smile, but she knew that he too was scared for their friends.

At some point of the night, the lights started functioning again, and suddenly everyone outside the carp started shouting. The Pogues all tensed and jumped up from their seats, trying to look outside and get a glance at what was happening.

“They’ll get out in time” Pope affirmed curtly.

“Yeah, The Phantom is the best there is. She’ll get them out safe” JJ went along. Kiara and Y/n nodded nervously, hoping that if they all just agreed on that, Sarah and John B would really be safe.

But their prayers weren’t answered.

“What do you mean you lost them?!” Pope shouted, bringing Y/n back to the real world.

Next thing she noticed was JJ jumping away from her loose grip and lunging at Shoupe. She should’ve gone after him, tried to stop her, but she couldn’t register how to move. Sarah and John B were lost at sea... they had driven them into the storm. Around her, Y/n could hear Kiara’s sobs and JJ’s angry shouts, along with Pope’s also angry voice trying to get answers. Then, she felt the tears falling down her own cheeks, and she forced herself to move forwards.

“Let go of him” she muttered at the officers “Please, he won’t try anything”

“You heard her. Let me go” he yanked his arms away from them and wrapped them around her frame.

They didn’t last long, they immediately broke down, only letting go to join Pope and Kiara in a group hug.

“Kiara!”

“Pope!”

Their parents had arrived. Kiara and Pope broke away from the embrace, falling into their parents’ arms and sobbing harder. Still joined, JJ and Y/n hugged each other tighter. Y/n looked up at him, and placed her hands on his face, bringing him down to a salty, quivering kiss.

“Y/n, JJ!” the L/ns entered the carp, barreling into the two teenagers.

“Mom, they’re lost” the girl cried into her mother’s arms, shaking her head as M/n and F/n did their best to calm her and JJ down.

The night ended with those two falling asleep in her bed. Dried tears in both their faces and arms tightly holding each other, even in their sleep. They didn’t know what would happen next with their summer, they had no idea what happened with Sarah and John B, but they surely hoped for the best.

[sunnysidekit]

Summary: All is fair in love and war. And boxing, too, apparently.

Pairing: Ben ‘Benny’ Miller x F!Reader (no y/n, reader’s boxing nickname is ‘Nyx’)

Warnings: Language, mentions of violence.

Word count: 2.2k

My masterlist

Everyone likes a good mystery. Don’t even try to deny it; whether you like Sherlock Holmes or if you’re more of an Agatha Christie fan, none of us can really escape the allure of a good conundrum every now and again. Some people can stare in the face of their mystery and not recognize it for quite some time, while others can practically smell them from a mile away. Ben Miller is part of, well, both groups.

Personally, he likes mysteries and surprises and such, but his army days have taught him all of those are a bad thing. A mission can collapse after the smallest detail changes, after all. Sometimes those missions are called off; other than the fact that he can’t do his job when that happens, he’s not really bothered by it. But when something catches him and his team by surprise during a mission and they have to get on with it anyway, things tend to… let’s say, not end well for everyone. And that’s gently put, of course.

Which is why when he’s at home between deployments, he likes his simple habits. They provide joy and adrenaline, and boy does he need both to function well. One of those habits is boxing. He likes it because of its simplicity; you punch your opponent, they punch you back, and so on and so forth until one of you stops. He’s good at it, too. Will always says that’s because he practiced a lot on him when they were younger. Ben says he’s the one with the good genes. Their mother was a fighter, too, after all.

The other reason he likes boxing is because your opponents always try to surprise you with a little mystery move. It’s fun for him to figure out how to respond in a split second, and the rush he gets when he does so successfully is almost unparalleled. Today, though, the only real surprise is the sudden appearance of his very own mystery. And, hey, you might know where this one’s going: it appears in the shape of a woman…

Benny whoops when he kicks open the door to his old high school gym’s changing room, but it sounds a bit less enthusiastic than it did after his last match. He knew he should have listened to Will and gone somewhere, anywhere else than back to Red Feather Lakes, but he’s not about to mention it when he can already imagine the smug grin spreading across his brother’s face.

He won, that’s what counts. And it’s not that bad to have done so after what is sure to be America’s easiest boxing match. That just means he’s good at it. The crowd went just as wild as it usually does, even though there were significantly less attendants than two weeks ago. Somehow, none of the arguments he tells himself really convinces him.

“All right!” Catfish says triumphantly from behind him. “Looks like all that training paid off, didn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Benny trails off as his slightly blurry vision comes back into focus. There’s someone sitting on one of the benches, someone he doesn’t know. It’s a woman; her aura tells him she’s all business, but her clothes tell him she also definitely plays. “Who’re you?”

The woman doesn’t respond immediately; only after half a minute of casually typing away on her phone does she look up and meet his eye. “Name’s Val,” she says, her facial expression one he can’t quite place. “And I’m about to ask you something you won’t be able to ignore.”

It’s important to notice that Benny isn’t particularly patient in his post-fight high, something Frankie knows very well. He becomes a bomb of electric energy that, once set off, won’t stop until every single muscle in his body gives out. And he’s about to be set off.

“Val, is it?” Frankie smiles at the woman, swiftly moving his friend to the showers. “Why don’t we talk while he cools down, hm?”

“You’re not the one I want to ask a question,” she says calmly, not taking her eyes off Benny. “You’re a Delta boy, aren’t you? I can see it in the way you fight. It takes regular boxers years to develop such a sensitive, quick response capability.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And that makes me think that oaf out there’s a long way from even thinking of acquiring your skillset. It’s impressive how easily you had him on the mat.”

“Ma’am, if you want an autograph-” Frankie tries, sensing the ticking time-bomb next to him is about to blow, but Val immediately interjects.

“Which is precisely what caught my eye. These men are no challenge for you anymore, but I think I know someone who could be. Should you accept their invitation, that is.”

“Do I know him?” Benny narrows his eyes at her, trying by god to figure out her angle in all of this. She smirks and closes her eyes a few seconds longer than a normal blink would take; touchy subject, maybe? Or perhaps he’s right and he has seen the guy before.

“You might have seen them around, sure. But I doubt you’d remember them.”

“So, what? I say yes and I’ll fight your friend here next week or something?” Benny snatches his towel from his bag and snaps it against the wall in annoyance.

“I’m afraid my friend’s a little more… complex than that, Mr. Miller.”

“Hey, uh, no thanks,” Frankie cuts in, waving his hands as if to dissipate the words in the air. “He doesn’t do illegal fights.”

“He’d have plausible deniability,” Val says with a slight tilt of her head, then turns back to face Benny and hands him a business card. "Anyway, the choice is yours, Mr. Miller, not your friend’s. I don’t need an answer right now. Do take your time to think it over, sleep on it a bit. Once you’re a little more comfortable with the idea, give this number a call. I’ve got a feeling they’d very much like to bruise that pretty face of yours until it looks like a Monet.”

She gets up from the bench and walks out of the changing room without looking back. Benny slips the business card into his jacket pocket, something that catches Frankie’s attention.

“Don’t do it, Ben,” he sighs. “I’m serious. You could get arrested, get your ass thrown in jail. You’ll get kicked out of the army.”

“Stop whining, Fish. I’m not gonna do it anyway.”

Despite explicitly telling Frankie he wouldn’t do it, here he is, standing outside his local gym with his phone in one hand and the curious looking business card in the other. There’s not a lot of info on it, but, hey, what did he expect? That an illegal streetfighter would publish their own name, address and contact info on a bunch of business cards?

There are only two things printed on the grey little card: Nyx, which must be the fighter’s nickname or something, and a phone number. It’s been in his jacket pocket ever since he left his old high school, but it felt like it’s been burning a hole in it the entire time. It’s exactly as Val said it would be. He can’t get her proposition out of his mind, no matter how hard he tries.

She’s right about the competition. They’re no match for him, not the ones here in Red Feather Lakes. And, sure, he could always just sign up for something three towns over, but it wouldn’t matter much. How she found out he’s in the Delta Force is beyond him, though. It’s policy not to broadcast such a position if you want to stay in it. Maybe she has connections in the army…

That’s another thing; his place in the army. It would be gone as soon as he gets caught, and it’s not like he’s got great job prospects waiting for him back home when all he’s done for the past ten years is train to get where he is now. No college degree, no other jobs to list on his resume, no wealthy parents to fall back on… His whole life would go up in smoke.

But it does entice him. He technically does illegal things for his job all the time, and the matches he engages in when he has some down time aren’t really scratching that one particular itch anymore. Let’s face it: one phone call can’t hurt, right? He can still refuse, say no, put his foot down. Maybe even convince this guy to go legit.

He pushes the little green receiver on the screen, then puts his phone to his ear. The dial tone beeps three times before someone picks up. He opens his mouth to say something, but the person on the other side is quicker.

“Ben Miller, I presume?” It’s… a woman. But not Val. “Val told me you’d be giving me a call.”

“And you’re…” he quickly flips over the card just to be sure, “…Nyx, then?”

“Got it in one. I do so hate it when Val forgets to mention my name in the initial interview.”

Benny huffs out a confused laugh. “Interview?”

“You aced it, by the way. Not saying too much is best when talking with my… let’s call her my associate,” the woman says. Her voice is softer than Val’s, and a lot smoother. It sounds like what taking a sip of hot chocolate feels like. “Shall we get on with it and discuss the rules of this little arrangement?”

“I don’t-- rules? I haven’t even given you an answer.”

“Oh, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ve got any restraint left,” she chuckles. “You want to tell me you called just to say hello to a total stranger?”

“No, but-” Benny splutters, but he doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

“Then your answer, even if you haven’t given it to me yet, is as clear as the Pope’s Holy Water. Now then, the rules. In order to keep you in the warm, sunny, light side of the law, I’ll arrange a time and place. All you have to do is show up.”

He can’t help but grin. She’s clearly on top of this whole cloak and dagger operation, that much he can tell. Who she is, though, he can’t say. Not yet. Maybe he’ll recognize her when he sees her. “What about my gear?”

“Do take it with you, please. I’m not a charity, giving away free gear to any John, Charles or Mary.”

“All right,” he says, clicking his tongue. “Anything else?”

“Val will pick you up and get you back home safely, so don’t worry about the whole transport situation.”

“This doesn’t sound very... safe. I mean, you do realize this sounds a lot like kidnapping, right? Or murder, or something like that?”

The woman laughs. It sounds like the melody to a song he knows but has never heard at the same time. It’s the kind of laugh that makes everyone around laugh as well. “Why would I tell you all this and then still proceed with it if my intent was malicious? You can easily call the cops and have my dear Val arrested for whatever crime you think me capable of, and that wouldn’t be very good for my business.”

“Fair enough.”

“Speaking of Val, she’ll pick you up next Wednesday at nine.”

Benny kicks a piece of gravel onto the street next to him and swallows away the last of his pride and dignity. “All right, I guess I’ll see you then.”

“Good lord, I can’t believe Val forgot to tell you that, too,” she laughs again, then clears her throat and continues a lot more seriously. “I only dance in the dark. Have a good night, Mr. Miller.”

Usually, waiting takes ages, but not this time. For Benny the rest of the week practically flew by him and before he knows it, it’s already Wednesday. He went training with Frankie just like any other week, only this time he accidentally forgot to mention his fight with Nyx. He told himself that the less people know about his, uh, date, the better, but he also knows Frankie would have immediately pulled the plug.

Val arrives at nine o’clock sharp in the front seat of a cab, which is no surprise. The drive that follows doesn’t take very long; he also isn’t blindfolded or anything like they do in the movies. The car stops in front of an old warehouse in the east side of town, and that’s when Val turns around in her seat and very concisely tells him to get his ass out of her cab himself, since she’s not going to hold open the door for him.

Instead of driving off, Val simply pulls the keys from the ignition and tosses them to him, calling it his ‘insurance policy’. Then she waves her hand as if to tell him to hurry up and get inside, which he promptly does.

Well, that whole dancing in the dark reference seems to have been meant literally; as soon as the warehouse door closes behind him, an inky, suffocating darkness envelopes Benny and makes a shiver run up and down his spine. He takes a few tentative steps, holding out his arms and moving them around to make sure he doesn’t hit anything while he walks.

Suddenly, a voice calls out to him from a bit further into the sole, big room this warehouse seems to consist of.

“Good evening, Mr. Miller. Let’s get swinging, shall we?”

A/N: Hey there, you made it to the end! Thanks for reading through the whole thing, I hope you liked it. If you’ve got any suggestions or spotted a mistake or two, don’t hesitate to tell me so that I might fix it. I hope you’ll stick around for round two!

[maddiwrites]

Secrets of the Shore (Chapter 22)

Pairing: JJ x OC

Summary: This is just my rewrite of the show Outer Banks with my own twist by adding another main character which also happens to be John B’s twin sister.

Note: Happy Sunday (: Only two more chapters left and I’m sad about it.

Word Count: 6.8k

Chapter 21 Masterlist

My friends drag each other to Heyward's shed where he stores all his useless junk he'll probably never touch again. I always said Pope's dad was a borderline hoarder. But the clutter does nothing to distract me from what's happening to my brother.

I pace back and forth with my hands interlocked on the top of my head. As I move back and forth, my friends keep their eyes trained on me as if I might sprint back to the airstrip.

No one says anything. The four of us are try to defuse the ticking time bomb thats about to blow in all of our heads without actually losing our minds.

I freeze when I hear the familiar hum of a plane fly overhead. I feel my throat tighten and my face heat with frustration. And just like that, Ward Cameron wins again.

"There goes the gold," Pope says and throws his hat across the room.

"Shit!" JJ kicks the closest thing to him which happens to be a three legged wooden table.

"Fuck!" Pope picks up a metal trash bin and throws it across the room, just like his hat.

"Pope!" Kie yells.

"God damn it!" He continues to throw anything he can find. His bomb exploded and he's destroying anything in his path. "Shit! Fuck!" He finds a wooden baseball bat in the heap of the clutter and hits whatever he can find. Glass tables, wooden chairs, more trash bins. I'm almost mesmerized by his movements because I have never seen this side of Pope before. "Shit! Damn it!"

"Pope!" Kie's trying to clam him down while JJ and I just watch with open mouths and raised brows. However, Pope just ignores her and continues to yell and break shit. "Pope!" I can imagine the release Pope must be feeling from this. All my life, I've never seen him act like this. He's usually so composed, always the one to keep us from doing shit like this. I don't know how to react now that roles are reversed. "Pope!"

Pope eventually falls with exhaustion against the arm of a musty green couch and pants to catch his breath.

"Yeah, dude," JJ says slowly. He puts his hand on Pope's shoulder and squeezes. "I was wondering when this was gonna happen. Here you go, chief." JJ holds out his dab pen for Pope to take. Pope looks at it and for the first time, he actually considers it. "A little weed never hurt no one."

"JJ," Kie says, disapproving.

"Relax, Kie."

"You know he doesn't smoke."

Pope ignores both of them and takes the pen from JJ and inhales a large hit. As if this kid couldn't shock me more today.

"Well, maybe not until today."

"Pope."

"Yeah, what is that gonna help?" Pope says. "I lost my scholarship. Walked out in the middle of the interview. Every -" Pope inhales sharply and shakes his head. "It's gone. It's not gonna happen."

"You did that for us?" Kie asks.

"No, not for us. For nothing."

I never thought of silence as being physically heavy, but right now, I feel like I'm being weighed down by a thick fog that I can't swim out of. Pope's right. Despite everything we did right this summer to get something we all deserve, we ended up with nothing except for more problems.

"I'm here for you, Pope," JJ says. "Welcome to my world, okay?"

Kie looks at me for some kind of assistance, but I have nothing to offer. She sighs and looks back at the boys. "JJ -"

"What, Kie? He's right. It doesn't matter anymore."

"You don't have to do that," Kie tells Pope and motions to the weed.

"What do you care?" Pope snaps.

Before this can get any worse, I turn at the sound of footsteps approaching us. My jaw physically hits the ground, at least that's what it feels like, when I see John B.

His eyes are facing forward and his clothes are covered in blood. He looks like he's in some kind of state of shock and I am terrified to find out why.

But my sisterly instincts kick in first. I'm running to him before the others even see him and my hands are pulling his shirt up to make sure the blood isn't his. John B reacts as if I'm not even there and stares ahead.

"John B what happened?" My voice shakes as my eyes scan his body. There's not a even a scratch on him, but I almost wish there was. Because this means the blood belongs to someone else, and I don't want to think that my brother is the reason for it.

"Dude! Dude, you good?" JJ runs up behind me and looks over John B's body with big eyes.

"Oh, my God! John B!"

"Is this yours?"

"Whose blood is that?"

I cup John B's face in my hands and make him look at me. When his eyes finally find mine, I ask, "What happened?"

Before he can answer, cop cars with their sirens on pass us on the road behind us. John B grabs me by the arm and shoves us all back into the shed and we duck behind a wooden slack.

"Shit," Pope curses as his chest moves up and down heavily.

When the coast is clear, John B tells us what happened. Sheriff Peterkin showed up. At first Ward thought she was going to arrest John B for breaking into the airstrip and almost causing a catastrophic accident, but she was there to arrest Ward. Of course Ward wasn't going to go down without a fight and before Peterkin could react, she was shot in the chest. By none other than Rafe Cameron.

"Rafe shot Sheriff Peterkin?" I ask in disbelief.

I always thought Rafe was a lot of things, but I never had cop killer written down on my list. However, I do know that Rafe is the kind of kid who would do absolutely anything to impress his dad. He's been fighting for his attention since he was a tween. Maybe in his own sick way, he thought killing Peterkin was saving his dad.

John B nods. He tells us Peterkin told him to run. And as much as he didn't want to, he was better off with us than dead. Sarah even told him to go as she protected him with her own body while he ran away. Rafe tried to shoot him too but couldn't get his aim down as he sprinted through the woods to get to us.

"What?" I feel my blood turn ice cold when I think about Rafe trying to kill my brother. The one family member I have left. "Why would Rafe want to kill you too?"

John B shrugs. "Because I saw the whole thing."

"So did his sister," I say. "Do you think Sarah is okay?"

"Rafe wouldn't hurt her."

I scoff. "Yeah right."

Now I know that Rafe is pretty much capable of anything worthy to an eternity in hell.  I don't think anyone is safe in his company. Not even Sarah. Maybe Ward.

"Kie, can you give me a ride somewhere?" John B asks.

We sneak through the back roads to get to Kie's house. When we get in her car, John B directs her to the police station. By the time we get there, the sun is completely set, blanketing the town in an eery indigo color.

Everything seems so silent to me now. The hum of Kie's radio, the shuffling of leaves brushing against each other, the bickering between my friends and brother. There's a ringing in my ear that won't go away until my hands are wrapped around Rafe's neck.

I feel like my brain as been replaced by a dark cloud. No ideas, no thoughts, no plans can make me feel any better or lighter. It's like an invisible hand has reached down my throat and twisted my heart right out of my chest.

Peterkin was the one and only person that actually helped John B and I. She kept DCS off our backs for as long as she could, she never rubbed it mine or John B's face that the whole island thought we were delusional when we said our dad was coming back, and she was even going to arrest Ward Cameron for my father's murder.

She didn't deserve to die. Although I wasn't the one who pulled the trigger, I can't help but think that her death is somehow my fault. It was my family she was protecting. She was doing her job, but she could have easily written my dad's death off as an accident like every other cop on this island.

"John B, what are we doing at the police station?" JJ asks when Kie parks the car right outside of the front entrance.

"Somebody's gotta tell them what happened." John B's voice is filled with sadness and guilt. I wish I could pull all this weight off his shoulders and add it to mine. He use to be so optimistic - always the one to cheer me up. Now that it's the other way around, I'm dumbfounded on what to do.

Pope takes another hit of JJ's juul and ends up coughing most of the hit up.

"Oh," JJ says from his seat behind Pope and pats his shoulder twice. "Easy there, chief. Damn."

I ignore the fact that Pope sounds like he's hacking up a lung and turn to look at my brother.

"Are you sure?" I ask him.

"All right. I'm just gonna be real with you right now," JJ says to my brother. "You might end up in the lion's den, but you don't go there on purpose. It's fundamental. Just like my old man always told me, you should never ever trust cops, no matter what the circumstance is."

I scoff at the idea of taking advice from JJ's dad.

"Your old man's an abusive liar," Kie says, looking through the rearview mirror with a scowl on her face.

"I agree with JJ," Pope says. "Fuck the police."

Kie turns to look at him. "You going dark side now?"

"When's the last time the police helped us?" Pope says.

"Peterkin looked out for me, all right?" John B says loud enough to grab everyone's attention. "Tried to, at least." He looks at me. "They need to know."

John B steps out of the car with his head hanging low on his shoulders. I bite down on my bottom lip, contemplating what our next move should be. All I know is that I can't let him do this by himself.

"Wait, John B!" I jump out of the car and follow him to the front door. "You're not going to do this alone."

I wait for John B to argue with me but he doesn't. Instead, he nods his head and leads me into the police station, a place I've been in a couple times by force. Never by choice.

There's a woman at the front desk who looks exhausted and busy. I can hear the mumbling of her radio on her desk and the static after each statement. I'm pretty sure I hear Peterkin's name but I don't know if it's my own head repeating her name over and over again.

"Um...excuse me, ma'am," John B says.

The woman barely looks up from her desk and writes something down on her pad of paper in front of her. "This is not a good time, kid." Had she just taken the time to look up, she would see the guy standing in front of her is covered in blood. Maybe then, she would be more worried. Instead, she focuses on her radio. "Adam, advise if you need air tran."

I open my mouth to give this woman a piece of my mind, but John B cuts me off. His voice soft and broken. "I know who shot the Sheriff."

I force myself to look up at him. He looks like he's trying his best to keep himself composed when all I know he wants to do is collapse on the nearest chair and just...breathe.

The woman freezes and finally takes in John B's appearance. She studies the stain on his shirt and the sweat on his skin, the hollowness behind his eyes and his shaky hands.

"You stay put," She says as she backs away. "I'll get a deputy."

I look around the station and feel an uneasy swirling motion in my stomach. It's unsettling. Like JJ's words are getting in my head. Maybe coming to the cops wasn't such a good idea.

My head snaps towards the radio when it statics to life again. "Central, three Vick. We have a suspect in our 31. John Routledge."

My blood runs cold and my eyes flash up to meet John B's. He's staring down at the radio like it's an actual person and he's frozen in shock.

Another woman's voice comes up on the radio. "Copy that. All units, be on the lookout for John B Routledge."

"Sixteen year old white male. Six foot. Last seen wearing board shorts, a 'Bad Brains' T shirt, and a faded red hoodie."

"Copy that."

My hands grab John B's to drag him out of here. My head scrambles to come up with our best plan, but I know staying here isn't it. Ward somehow managed to spin this around on my brother. I shouldn't be shocked, but I keep managing to be knocked out with more surprises right when I think things couldn't get any worse.

Just as I'm about to pull John B out of there, two cops come out from the back and stare at the two of us with big eyes. A man and woman dressed in their faded brown deputy uniforms. My eyes trail down to their hands that are both steady on the gun in their holster, ready to aim if they need to.

"Just...breathe. All right?" The woman cops holds out her hand as if to tell John B to stay calm.

The other officer nods. "John B. Do what she says."

"Look, I didn't...I didn't do it, okay?" John B tries to explain but his voice his shaky and lacks any sort of confidence.

"Dont...move."

"Go..." My voice is barely a hushed whisper but my tug on his arm is strong. "Go, go, go. Run!"

John B and I sprint out of the station before any officers can guard the door. I can barely hear them yelling after us through the drumming in my ears.

"Kie! Start the car!" John B yells as we basically body slam ourselves into her car. "Start the car, Kie!"

I basically rip the back door open and stumble into JJ's lap after tripping on my own feet. Everyone's yelling. The people in the car. The people running out of the police station.

"What? John B!" Kie yells as her hands shake. She tries putting the keys back into the ignition but her hands are trembling too much.

"The cops!"

"Shit!" JJ curses and looks over my shoulder at the cops who are sprinting towards us.

"Go!" John B yells at her. She turns the key but of course the car decides not to start. "Kie, drive! Go!"

"Go Kie!" Now I'm yelling at her.

"Stop the car!" One of the cops yell with her gun raised at the back window.

"I'm going! I'm sorry!" Kie says as anxiety cripples through her.

"Right now!" The woman cop from inside approaches the car. She tries to open it but the door is locked.

"What did you do?" Kie yells at us.

Kie moves the vehicle slowly out of the parking lot, but the woman is relentless. She runs with us side by side and hooks her fingers around the door handle.

"Open it!" JJ yells at John B.

John B opens the door to knock the cop off the car. The tactic works and she rolls on the ground. Only now we'll probably be written up for assault too.

I fall back into my seat and pant for breath. My head falls back against the cushioned seat and my eyes close. Okay, okay, think, Marleigh. Think.

Ward killed my dad. Ward stole my gold. Rafe killed Peterkin. And somehow, my brother is the one being framed for murder. Make it all make sense.

I hate them. The Camerons. Kooks. All entitled, greedy sons of bitches who don't know how to handle rejection or the word 'no.' They think all their meals should be served on a silver platter and kids like us are born for the sole purpose to serve them. They deserve to rot. They deserve to feel all the pain we do.

And yet, they don't. And they never will because that's the life we live. A life where people like Ward and Rafe Cameron can get a way with murder because no one would blink twice at their lame excuse of a story.

A lie.

It all boils down to money. Money we almost had right in our pockets. But now it's gone as is pretty much everything else in my life. My house. My dad. Maybe now my brother.

JJ laces his fingers with mine and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. I keep my eyes closed but let my head fall on his shoulder. I focus on his touch. How his thumb delicately rubs against my skin in a light up and down motion. How his lips are able to make my heart flutter when they kiss the top of my head. How his soft whispers, telling me everything is going to be okay, are sweet enough to make me melt into a buttery mess.

Maybe not everything's gone. I still have JJ. The constant in my life. The one who can always make me feel better even in the shittiest of situations. My sun on my darkest nights. My sight into the future when I can't even think of tomorrow.

I don't let JJ go. Even when Kie parks the car back at Heyward's shed under an open roof. We have literally nowhere else to go. The cops will undoubtedly check all of our homes, including Kie's. The Chateau is definitely surrounded by cops, waiting for John B and I to make the dumb move of going back there. And Tannyhill isn't an option anymore.

The sun is already poking out behind the trees as morning approaches. My body aches from sleeping in this cramped car, but I try to ignore the pain and focus on the fact that we're all still together. For now.

The five of us sit in silence. Some of us try to wrap our heads around what just happened and try to come up with another plan. The rest of us, like me, are so tired, they can't even remember what their middle name is.

The only noise in the car comes from Kie's radio. "...should be functional within twenty four hours." Meanwhile, another cop car with loud sirens pass us on the road without sparing this car a second glance. "And still, no arrest in the shooting death of Sheriff Susan Peterkin. The state police have issued a statement regarding a local person of interest, a juvenile from -"

Kie switches the radio off and glances back at John B and I. My brother has his seat reclined all the way back and is staring up the at the ceiling of the car. JJ has moved so his back is against the car door with one leg bent at the back of the seat and the other one on the floor. I sit between his legs and play with the necklace he gave me a couple days ago. Crazy enough, it feels like years since he gifted me this.

"Let's game this out," JJ is the first to speak. He looks at Kie and Pope in the front seat. "Maybe you guys can help, being the smart ones and all, but..." He sighs. "...who are the cops going to believe? Ward Cameron or us? So the accuser is a big shot developer, kind of lord of the island, got the governor on speed dial kind of person, and the accused...is John B, who is...pretty much a homeless sixteen year old boy at the moment."

"Thanks." John B deadpans.

"Okay, man. Yucatan, all right? I'm saying that's the only option." John B gives him a look to stop talking but of course JJ doesn't take the hint. "What other options do you have?"

"Enough with the Mexico bullshit," Kie says.

"Sarah will bail me out," John B says a lot more confidently than I feel about the situation.

"She did witness the whole thing," Kie says.

"Thank you."

"You really think she's going to pick you over her own family?" I can't help the attitude that drips off my tongue with each word. Sarah's a nice girl and I really liked her. But Rafe and Ward are her family. "No offense, but you've really only known each other for a few weeks."

"Not happening, bro. Okay?" JJ says, agreeing with me. "We gotta get you off the island."

"The ferry," Pope speaks up for the first time all morning. "It's the only way."

"Exit stage left while you still can. Before the entire island is on lockdown."

"Guys, just get down," Kie slumps further into her seat as another round of sirens pass us.

"Sarah's not a Pogue, John B," Pope says. He has a point. Sarah hasn't been friends with all of us for that long. I almost wouldn't even blame her if she took her family's side.

"Yeah. You can't stay here, man," JJ says, tightening his hold on me.

Another moment of silence passes through us and I wonder if JJ's right. Adrenaline on the island is at an all time high. No cop, no lawyer, no person is going to believe John B over Ward. Not without evidence. We need time to clear John B's name. So maybe getting him off the island would be best. Even if it's just temporary.

~ ~ ~

When Kie parks in front of the ferry, Pope hops out to buy the tickets and Kie moves to the passenger seat. I offered to go with him but JJ told me that was a bad idea because I would get recognized as John B's sister.

So here I am, useless and laying down as flat as I can next to John B to avoid being seen through the windows.

I look at John B. His eyes are closed and his chest moves heavily up and down. His fingers flex and clench into fists every couple of seconds. I wonder if his fractured hand is starting to hurt him.

"The first thing we're doing when we get off this stupid island is buying you a new outfit," I say. I cringe in disgust when I look at Peterkin's blood stain on his clothes. Another reminder that she's dead.

I look up to the front seat window when Pope comes back to the car. He's mumbling to himself and I think he has something in his hand.

"Okay. All right, no."

"Pope, can you act normal?" Kie says through clenched teeth and unlocks the door for Pope to get in.

"Okay, um...okay, so, bad news. The ferry's closed, and there is this."

Kie takes a piece of paper from his hand and looks at it. Her eyes close for half a second and she shakes her head. "Shit."

"What is that? What is this?" John B asks.

JJ snags the paper out of Kie's hand and looks at it. "Well, John B, uh...this is a good framer of you." He turns the paper over and shows my brother and I a picture of John B on a 'WANTED' sign with a cash reward of $25,000.

"Okay, so the whole island's looking for John B right now," Pope says.

"That's a lot of money," I can't help but laugh. "Gotta say, John B. Didn't think you would be worth that much. Hell, maybe I'll turn you in."

"Congratulations John B, you're famous," JJ says.

John B slaps the outside of my thigh with the back of his hand. I scoff and slap him back, which causes a strings of slaps and hits, though mostly playful, and some a little harder.

"Stop. Guys, stop!" Kie says loudly. JJ pulls my hands away from my brother and folds them in my lap. He gives me a warning look, like a teacher would their student, and it makes me want to laugh about how bizarre this whole thing is. "We got to get to the HMS. We need small, no running lights -"

"It's at the Chateau, Kie," John B says.

"And I wonder if the cops got the entire place taken out," JJ says sarcastically. "Let me think. Oh, yeah. No. they definitely have that place locked down."

"Let me think. Just give me a second," John B says frustratingly.

"JJ," Pope says.

"What?" He looks up.

"Does your dad still have the boat? The cigarette boat, the Phantom. The one he used to race."

I look up at JJ, but I can't read his emotions. He keeps his face unfazed. "Maybe."

"You could get right up the coast, no problem. Okay, look - "

"It won't be easy, Pope."

"The surf's running from three to four."

"I don't know where the keys are."

"Well, find them."

"I'm thinking," JJ snaps.

"Why is nobody moving forward?" Pope yells at the car in front of us and bangs the palm of his hand on the steering wheel.

I rub my fingers in a circular motion on my temples and close my eyes again. Words are being spat at about a million miles per hour. It's hard to keep up and my blood vessels twist with anxiety.

"Can you relax?" Kie hisses. "JJ, how much weed did you give him?"

"Guys," John B says. "Your car's on the poster."

Pope ignores everyone and hits his fist against the horn of the car. "Can we move it?"

"Pope!"

I'm going to puke.

"Come on!"

"Don't honk the horn!" Kie says, hitting Pope's arms away from the wheel.

"It's that guy. Right there!" I hear a voice outside our window say. The voice sounds young. Kid-like.

"Shit," John B tries pushing himself further into his seat. I didn't even realize he sat up in the first place.

"We got a snitch. Pope, turn the car on," JJ says, sitting up in his seat and leaning forward to hit Pope on the shoulder.

"We get $25,000 if we find him!" The kid says.

"Hey! He's right there!" Another voice. Manly. Great, we're drawing a crowd.

"Hey! We gotta go!" Kie yells.

"Pope, go!" I yell.

"Turn the car on!" JJ yells.

We're all yelling and I think my eardrums might burst.

"I found him first!" The kid says to the man.

"Hell you did, you little bastard!"

"Pope, turn the frickin' car on!" JJ yells.

The crowd starts growing around the car. John B turns into my side and pulls his hood up over his head.

"I am trying!" Pope yells back at us.

"Turn the car on!"

"Go, go, go!"

Pope jerks the car forward and hits the car in front of us. I jolt forward in the middle seat and stop myself from going through the windshield by pressing my two arms on the front two seats.

I hear the crowd gasp and move backwards to avoid the nutso in the front seat. Now that I think about it, who let Pope drive in the first place?

"Pope! Jeez!" JJ curses.

"Dude, back up!" Kie yells.

Pope puts the car in reverse and steps on the gas, but hits another car in the process.

"Hey!"

"The other way!"

JJ pats Pope's shoulder again. "It's okay! Pope, just go!"

Pope hits the corner of Kie's front bumper against the car in front of us again but continues to step on the gas until we're completely out of our spot.

"What are you doing?" Kie yells at him.

"We'll bump out!"

"Watch out!" I yell when I spot a couple of people crossing the street before Pope can kill them.

"Whoa! Whoa! Watch out!" Pope yells and swings his hands in front of him to motion for the people to jump out of the way. "Watch out!" My back hits the back of my seat, hard. Pope has the audacity to laugh. Head back and all. "Oh my god."

"Pope!" Kie yells. "What the fuck?"

"I'm living my best life right now," Pope says through laughter.

Kie slumps in her seat. "My mom's gonna kill me."

"I should be the last to say this, but you are not okay to drive," JJ says. I turn to glare at him and he puts his hands up in the air to surrender. He looks back out to the road and yells, "Stop!"

Pope stomps on the brakes and sends us skidding to a stop. JJ's arm whips out to the right to stop me from flying forward.

We're gonna die.

Pope looks over his shoulder at my brother. "John B, get out."

"What?" I glare.

"He's right," JJ says and my head snaps to him. He ignores me. "We'll draw the cops, you run."

"Shit," John B curses and unbuckles himself.

"I'll get the rig, and I'll meet you in the dump tomorrow, okay? Three o'clock, okay?"

"Wait, I'm coming with you," I say, but John B shakes his head.

"No. You stay here. Stay with them."

"I'm not leaving you!" I fight back and look at him like he has two heads. He must think I'm crazy if he thinks I'm going to let him run away by himself.

"JJ -" John B looks at him.

"On it. Go!" JJ's hands wrap around my waist, forcing me to stay in the car. I try prying his fingers off of me, but he's a lot stronger than I am. John B starts running off. "Three tomorrow at the dump!" When John B disappears behind the tree, JJ finally lets me go. I turn around and shove him back by his chest and slide over to the seat that John B was just in. JJ sighs and looks forward again. "Come on, go, go, go!"

Pope steps on the gas again and veers forward.

I look out the window and ignore the queasiness that has fully taken over my stomach. I know John B and JJ were right to keep me in the car. I would only slow John B down and get myself in trouble and therefore, be completely useless in helping my brother. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm abandoning him.

~ ~ ~

Pope, for some reason, is still driving. I don't know where he's going but it seems like we're on our way to Figure Eight. Pope turns on the radio, blasting one of North Carolina's hip hop stations.

JJ leans forward in the middle seat and pushes his head between Kie and Pope. He's managing to laugh like we're on some joy ride on Memorial Day weekend. "Pope, you clocked that car, man. Like that was so bad!" JJ shakes his head. "I'm just glad I'm not driving now."

" Pull over." Kie tells Pope. "JJ, it's not funny. He shouldn't be driving."

JJ grimaces. "Mama's mad."

Pope pulls the car over and switches seats with Kie. A delirious grin stays on the high boy's lips as he settles in the passenger seat.

"What are you -"

"Where are we going?" I ask Kie as she makes a familiar right turn.

"The last place they're gonna look." Kie says.

~ ~ ~

By the time Kie pulls up to Tannyhill, the sun has disappeared into the horizon and the pit of my stomach is the size of a category five hurricane. I can't remember the last time I ate or drank anything and the pounding in my head feels like a hundred bullets are penetrating my skull.

Kie's brilliant idea is to somehow get to Sarah and convince her to go to the police to confess what actually happened.

"Perfectly focused," Pope says to himself, which makes me glare at him. Pope is anything but focused.

"You sure this is a good idea?" JJ says.

"She's the only one who can clear John B," Kie says.

"Last place they'll look because of how stupid it is."

Kie ignores JJ and gets out of the car with Pope following right behind her. When I open the door, JJ pulls me back and closes the door again.

I look at him. My first reaction is to be concerned. Something in JJ's expression makes me fold. For a second I forget the mess we're in and I get lost in his blue eyes. It's just me and JJ and the world outside of this car no longer exists.

His warm hand wraps around my smaller one and he pulls me closer into him. His other hand cups my face, right underneath my jaw. My face feels like it's physically sparkling with the touch of his breath and forget butterflies - there is a zoo in the pit of my stomach. I glide into JJ like magnet.

His lips press into mine and I cave in. I pull him close enough to where I'm straddling him. Time stops as does my breathing. My fingers run through his blonde hair, tugging on the ends. He stifles back a moan and my face flushes pink.

I pull back for breath and rest my forehead against his. I don't know how many more times we're going to get to do that. And it hurts me thinking it might come to an end.

"I'm sorry," I say.

JJ ignores me. "When we get to Yucatan, we're getting a bungalow. We're going to live in bathing suits and get drunk off of pina coladas every day. Skinny dipping is going to be our main source of exercise - well, other than the hot dangerous sex we're gonna have every night. I'm never going to leave your side and I'm going to keep you safe until the day we die. In a few years, we'll get married. You're gonna wear that dress you wore to Midsummers and we're gonna have beautiful beach babies who will go on to win surfing championships by the time they're ten because they're going to be prodigies. Our prodigies. And John B is going to be there with us. Because he's not going to jail for a crime he didn't commit. Okay?"

I don't even realize tears are streaming down my face until he's wiping his thumb against my wet cheek.

"Promise?" My voice cracks and I really wish it didn't. But that's the life I want. That's the life I need. I don't care if it's in Yucatan or in the middle of a deserted island. I just need my boys, Kie, and Pope.

JJ kisses my left cheek. Then my right and my nose. "I promise."

"I love you, J."

"And I love you. Everything is going to be okay. I'm going to make sure you're okay."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

JJ laughs. "Okay."

As much as I don't want to leave him, as much as I'd rather stay here with JJ and forget about all our problems, I know I can't. Because Kie is probably freaking out, waiting for me. Because John B is on the run somewhere and I need to do something, anything to help him.

"I should probably..."

JJ rolls his eyes playfully. "Yeah I know. Be quick. Okay?"

I nod and jump out of the car before my head or my heart can make me do otherwise. I push my legs, that feel like rubber, over the stone wall that lines the Cameron's property.

I stop in my tracks when I hear Pope and Kie in some kind of intense conversation...well as intense as Pope can handle right now. I think he's still super high.

"Pope! Pope! Pope! Sh!" Kie says in a hushed tone.

"Hey, I'm trying to tell you, I love you."

Oh shit. I look at the stone wall I just jumped over and consider jumping back over it to avoid eavesdropping on this conversation.

"First of all, I need you to be quiet," Kie says.

"Okay, yeah. Quiet, I mean -"

"No. Stop talking, like, now." Kie says. This time, Pope doesn't speak. "Second of all...thank you for saying that."

I can't help but physically cringe at that statement. Because I know what's coming next.

"Okay," Pope chuckles.

"Now, that's very sweet, but it's - look it's not gonna happen."

"Okay, well, why not?"

This is like a car wreck you can't look away from. I had a feeling Pope was in love with Kie for years now. But he never acted on it. Didn't even flirt with her the way JJ did before we were together. A part of me always hoped he did. Because I wanted to see how Kie would react. I think the two of them would be really cute together. Kie could teach Pope to take more risks and Pope could give her a beautiful life that didn't require her working for her parents forever. They compliment each other. Always have.

"Because Pogues can't mack on other Pogues."

Pope scoffs. "That rule doesn't make sense, and nobody follows it. I mean look at JJ and Marleigh -"

"Look, I - I want something different."

"Okay, I-"

"I - I wanna go to Antartica, and I wanna ride camels..."

"I want to do those things with you."

"No. Pope, it's not gonna work."

"I want to be that person!"

"No. It's not gonna happen," Kie shakes her head. God, this is brutal. I can't wait to tell JJ. "Do you understand what I'm saying? Like..." Kie sighs. "Look, I know that that's really hard to hear right now, but we don't have time for this, and this is a really bad place to do it." She pauses and Pope doesn't respond. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." He says, but his voice has completely changed. It's dark and cold and doesn't match my Pope's personality.

"Are you ready for the plan, or..."

"Yeah."

"Okay..." Kie says and this is when I decide to make my entrance. I can't help with the situation at hand but at least I can cause a distraction.

So I cough. "Sorry for the hold up. JJ and I were just fighting over who has to be look out. So..." I force myself to look between Pope and Kie as if I didn't just witness their whole conversation. I try not to focus on the tear streak down Pope's cheek and look at Kie. "Ready?"

Kie nods and leads us towards the Cameron's. A house I almost called my home.

Kie is in charge of getting to Sarah Cameron by her bedroom window while I stay with Pope and create a distraction. We decided it was best if one of us stayed with Pope so I offered myself, considering what I just watched.

Pope still seems to be upset. He's not exactly being quiet trying to stay hidden like we should be.

"Gotta stick to the plan," Pope mumbles to himself and plays with the grill. I find the closest pillow on their patio set and place it on top of it. "I like camels. I like Antartica."

"Pope..." I say softly. The last thing I want is to piss him off more but he's making me nervous.

He ignores me. "What's wrong with that plan?" He bends down and picks up a rubber duck in a paramedic costume and looks at it thoughtfully. "Same." I don't know exactly what that means but he throws the duck into the grill and finds the lighter fluid. When he saturates the pillow...and duck, he turns the grill on. The fluid quickly ignites and flames shoot out from the grill. Pope's head is close enough to the fire that his hat catches on fire. "Shit!"

"Holy shit," I throw my arm at his head and knock the hat off of him. I stomp on it until the flame dies under my sneakers and pull him behind the closest tree that can hide us both.

Less than a minute later, I hear two pairs of footsteps come out. I recognize Ward's voice as he curses at the destructed grill until he stops and mutters the name "Sarah" under his breath and makes a beeline back in side.

Taglist: @notyourcupofteax @acvross-the-universe @jjmaybankzz @moniamaybank @realistic-breadstick @urbinoutfiters @jeeperky @brebear121 @x-lulu @freddymaybank @jjpouggues @lemur46 @is-it-really-a-secret @kkmikayla @folkloverr @alexa-playafricabytoto @jjxrudy @migilini @stellarskys @rochyu @itsagurl @dazzlingnights 

[pappydaddy]

Deal? (j.m.)

A/N: I recently added Outer Banks to the list of shows I write for because I am actually in love with the show. So, if you want to request for Outer Banks, send me a request but please look at the rules before doing so! 

Anyway, I am also writing a OB imagine because I want to see if people are actually seeing my posts or not. In the past, my little Outer Banks posts about JJ have gotten lots of interaction. Therefore, I am writing a JJ fic. 

Paring: JJ Maybank x Fem!reader

Show: Outer Banks

Warnings: Jealously, protectiveness, some creepy dude, some punches but nothing horrible. Some blood. 

This takes place in an alternate universe where John B Sarah don’t capsize or even get on the boat in general. Just for the sake of this imagine.

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation 

- not my gif -

  Boneyard parties were fun, there was no doubt about that fact, but sometimes an extravagant Kook party thrown by some rich snob wanting to rebel against their perfect little shoe box life was just as fun. The Pogues especially liked them since their presence at the party always ticked the Kooks off, but they couldn’t do anything about it unless they wanted the cops to bust their party full of minors drinking and doing drugs. Since the Pogues befriending Sarah Cameron, they had an excuse to make more appearances at Kook parties. Of course, JJ couldn’t pass up an opportunity to rile up some Kooks. Especially not when he’s dating the most attractive girl on the island: Y/n L/n. Rich enough to live comfortably, but not rich enough to be in Figure Eight. 

  “Come on, Jay! It’s a pool party,” Y/n whined to her boyfriend, her hands gripping his large bicep as she shook his arm lightly. “Put the swim trunks I gave you on!” She pleaded with him. Her blonde and stubborn boyfriend simply sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at his phone as she shook his arm more violently. Many people were surprised when JJ had entered the serious, long-term relationship with the youngest (and only daughter) of the L/n family for many reasons. The main one being that he settled down in the first place. JJ Maybank didn’t seem like the type for commitment, but with their second year anniversary fast approaching - they were left with their heads spinning. The other reason was the fact that Y/n had two older and very protective brothers. Everybody was almost positive that JJ wouldn’t even get past her brothers, either they would have crushed him to a pulp or he would have thought it to be too much work for a girl. 

  “But I don’t want to get in an overcrowded pool with a bunch of Kooks.” JJ grunted, trying to type a text to John B to see if the group was almost to Y/n’s house to pick them up. Though JJ was the designated driver for the party (he drew the short straw), he still needed the van in order to cart all The Pogues home at the end of the night. Y/n groaned, plunking herself down on the bed beside him, her hands still gripping his arm. 

  “You don’t have to get in the pool! I don’t want to get in the pool either, but I am still wearing a bathing suit!” JJ looked up from his phone and gave his pouting girlfriend a look. That was the thing about their relationship, it even surprised JJ. It downright scared him when he started to have feelings for Y/n. At first, he didn’t know what had happen to make him want a relationship, but then he realized that there was just something about her. Something that made him want to spend every waking second with her, want to protect her. 

  “Why does it matter if I wear the swim trunks you bought me or not?” He asked, locking his phone and setting it on the bed beside him. She shrugged, one hand sliding down to pick play with his fingers, her eyes locked on them. They had been friends for a good year before they started dating, their feelings having come to light when the great treasure hunt ensued. That meant they could read each other decently well. Having gone through that together while their relationship was blooming into a romantic one made them more perceptive to each other. As he sat there, watching her play with his fingers, he could tell that she was bashful about the reason. 

  “Because I think you’d look really hot in them.” She mumbled, her cheeks heating up. She tucked her chin closer to her chest, wanting to make sure JJ didn’t see her red cheeks, but even without seeing her face, he knew she had the adorable redness flooding her cheeks and nose. He didn’t even try to fight the smile as he watched her try to avoid his gaze while playing it cool. 

  “Alright, if that’s what you really want, I’ll wear the trunks.” He agreed. He knew that he would have ended up putting them on before they left, not matter how much he ‘fought’ against it. She snapped her head up to look at him, her eyes wide and happy. 

  “Yay,” She celebrated with a little bounce. “Now, can I bother you for one teeny tiny favour?” She asked sweetly, taking her hand from his to pinch her pointer finger and thumb together so that they were just barely touching. JJ hummed, reaching his hand up to grab her hand back, entangling their fingers together. 

  “Any thing for you, Pretty Girl.” He nodded, rubbing his thumb across her soft skin gently. The action felt nice on her hand but also sent tingles shooting up her arm, giving her a fuzzy feeling. 

  “I need advice on my bathing suit, I put it on earlier, but now I don’t know about it,” She paused, standing up, trying to free her hand reluctantly. JJ’s hand held firm, not wanting to let her hand go until it was completely necessary. Giving up, she settled with standing between his legs as he stayed sitting. “Is it too much?” She asked nervously, popping the buttons on her high-waisted jean shorts before letting them slide down her legs. Next came the shirt, leaving her in her rather racy bathing suit. 

  “Too much of what?” JJ asked, confused since there wasn’t too much of anything. It was a bathing suit. A normal bathing suit like all of her others. 

  “Too skimpy,” She clarified, turning her head to glance at the full body mirror by the foot of her bed. “This is by far the most scandalous bathing suit I own, but Kie and Sarah convinced me to buy it last week and I don’t want to not wear it, ya know?” She rambled, inspecting it. The stringy bikini was gorgeous and totally for relaxing poolside, not for swimming. The colour of it complemented her skin, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was showing too much. 

  “Why would you even think that? You look gorgeous in it,” JJ’s eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t get where you think it’s too ‘skimpy’? I mean, it covers everything,” He questioned, his eyes scanning over his girlfriend. She looked absolutely stunning. He grabbed her other hand as it picked at the strings tying her top up. She looked down at him, her eyes meeting his captivating blue eyes. “You look amazing in it. Does it make you uncomfortable?”

  “No, I actually really like it. I feel amazing in it,” She answered quickly. “But I don’t want guys staring at me and coming up to me all night. I just want to go and have fun with you and the others, not fend guys off with a stick.” She grunted, bending her knees to sit on one of JJ’s legs, her knees poking into the other one. He let go of her hands, wrapping his arms around her waist to make sure she didn’t fall off. 

  “I get that, but you don’t have anything to worry about. I’ll be right by your side the entire night,” He reassured. “And if I’m not right by you, I won’t be anymore than ten feet away. If some asshole comes up to you, I’ll take care of him. Anything as long as you get to wear what you want to the party, deal?” His eyebrows bounced as he calmed her down. 

  “Deal, but I get to wear your shirt.” She bargained, her hands gripping his open button up. It was a nice black one, though it was ratty, it was still her favourite button up of his. He glanced down at it. She was always taking it, leaving him to snatch it back by stuffing it in his overnight bag when he left. He had just gotten it back two weeks ago when he had to wash it. He knew that her attempts of stealing it were coming, but he would have thought she’d be a little bit more subtle about it. 

  “Whatever you want, Princess.” He pressed a kiss to her lips before sliding her off his lap to stand up, grabbing the swim trunks from the bed. 

 _____________________________________________________________________

  The party certainly was in full swing. Coke was on the tables, people handing off wads of cash towards the smug guy who brought it. John B and Sarah were already sloshed and they had only been there for an hour and a half. Kie had only one beer, but was currently sharing a blunt with John B and Sarah while Pope nursed his second beer. Y/n and JJ were standing off to the side, Y/n’s back pressed against the living room wall, JJ’s hand pressed into the wall by her head. He sipped at his water bottle while she finally had her first beer of the night. She didn’t like getting intoxicated, especially not when JJ was sober. She wanted to talk to her boyfriend, not make a complete fool out of herself. 

  “Can you believe that Pope is actually drinking more than one beer tonight? I think I even saw him try a hit of the blunt.” Y/n asked JJ, proud of her uptight friend for finally letting loose. Dating Kie has been such a good thing for him, he’s gotten so much more relaxed. JJ glanced over his shoulder, still hovering over his girlfriend. 

  “’Atta boy, Pope,” He hollered over the thumping music, tossing his empty water bottle to the floor and rising his now free fist in the air to fist pump. Pope sending him a ‘Whoop’ and a fist pump back from where he sat on the fancy leather couch. “Princess, I need to go get another water bottle. You want to come with me or sit with the others?” He asked, holding her hand gently while his other one slid off the wall. 

  “You go, I’ll sit with the inebriated and keep them company.” She smiled up at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. The two of them glanced over at their friend group as they laughed loudly about something. Their intoxicated minds finding the smallest things funny. 

  “If you’re sure,” JJ looked back at Y/n wanting to make sure she was completely okay with him grabbing another drink. She nodded, a wide smile on her face at his protectiveness. “Okay, I’ll be there in like five seconds, ten tops. Love you.” He rushed, bouncing out of her sight in an effort to rush back to her. She laughed, shaking her head before taking a sip of her beer. Making her way towards the group falling all over each other with laughter, she suddenly felt the weight of eyes burning into her back. 

  Glancing behind her, she didn’t see anyone staring at her. Shrugging it off, she continued her short walk, sitting down next to John B who didn’t even notice her presence yet. “Hey, Y/n, where’s JJ?” Pope asked, noticing only one half of the duo joining them. John B looked beside him, his eyes lighting up at the sight of his best friend’s girlfriend. 

  “Getting another water bottle, he’ll be here in a sec.” She told him, downing the rest of her beer, not wanting to set it down anywhere. John B slung his arm around Y/n’s shoulders, using the hand holding his own solo cup to point at her. 

  “She sleeps with my best friend, but not only does she do that, but she also makes him happy,” John B slurred, nearly poking Y/n in the face by accident. “Like, really happy - happier than I’ve ever seen him,” John B took his arm off Y/n creating big gestures with his hands as he talked. Dodging his flailing arms, Y/n smiled at his drunken sweetness. “I think that JJ might marry her someday, then everyone will know that they have sex!” John B carried on, making Y/n’s cheeks flare up. 

  “Hey, John B, Imma go get you a water, actually-” Pope paused, glancing at the group. Through he was slightly tipsy, he still knew that he needed to be more responsible for the ones who were way passed tipsy. “I’m gonna get you all a water, want one, Y/n?” He asked, knowing that she was probably in much better shape than him, but he also knew that she shouldn’t be venturing off into the crowd alone, let alone her being comfortable to do so. 

  “Sure! Thanks Pope!” She smiled, Pope returning the gesture before heading off the same direction JJ went off in. John B started to talk loudly to Sarah, the two in their conversation while Kie rattled off about Microplastics in the ocean, nobody really listening to her. A hand landing on her shoulder was odd, since JJ never walked up behind her at a party and touched her from behind, always wanting her to know that it was him and not some creep. That’s why her blood seemed to still in her body at the hand. 

  “Looks like you could use some better company.” Someone spoke, sliding into the spot next to her, his arm resting around her shoulders much like John B’s had seconds before. She glanced at him, everything about him screaming Touron, especially since he thought hitting on her would get him anywhere. Thought their relationship surprised every local, that still meant that they all knew about it. 

  “No, I’m really okay. These are my friends, also, by boyfriend and my other friend will be back in a couple of seconds, but if you’re looking for someone to talk to, there is a lot of Lacrosse players over there playing Beer Pong.” She pointed towards the herd of boys playing Beer Pong on the grand mahogany dinning table. The Touron glanced over there, his slicked back hair catching the light with the amount of gel he had in it. He pulled a face, shrugging and tightening his arm around her shoulders. 

  “I don’t know, I think you’d be better company,” He denied, obviously not taking the hint. Instead, he just stomped on the hint and punted it into the world’s farthest dumpster. “Besides, I don’t really think you have a boyfriend, you’re probably just telling me that so I leave you alone.” 

  “I can assure you, I am telling the whole truth when I tell you my boyfriend is going to be right back. And I do want you to leave me alone, that’s why I said ‘no’ earlier.” She remarked, her voice biting. He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he dramatically looked around. 

  “I certainly don’t see anyone coming ‘right back’,” He mocked, air-quoting her words. She huffed, rolling her eyes. “So I really don’t think you were telling me the truth about you boyfriend, Sweetheart-” 

  “Well, prepare to be proven wrong,” A new voice joined the conversation, the two of them looking to the side where there was a space at the corner of the two couches. There stood JJ, he dumped the two water bottles he held into Pope’s hands. Pope stood slightly behind JJ, looking rather nervous about what was going to happen as he dropped the bottles to the couch kie was laid out on. “Meet the boyfriend who’s now back and wanting you to leave before you leave with a limp.” He threatened the posh boy. 

  “So what? She wasn’t lying about the boyfriend, but can she really except not to be hit on when wearing that kind of a bikini,” He asked, speaking as if he was the victim being harassed. JJ’s knuckles cracked as he clenched them into a fist, his nostrils flaring, his eyes lighting up with anger. Even in their drunken and high daze, John B, Kie, and Sarah looked up with nervous eyes, watching the events unfolding. “And how can you be mad when you’re the one who left her alone after you let her leave the house wearing it?” He asked, Pope cringed, know what that comment ignited in JJ. Y/n watched, her mouth hanging open when he implied that she was JJ’s property. 

  “I see you’ve made your choice,” JJ spoke with a voice so calm that it scared the group. They had never heard his voice so calm in a situation like this. It was normally aggressive and raspy, strained from him trying to suppress his anger. It was as if he didn’t have anger issues and he was going to deal with this rationally. Just as the group was questioned what the blonde’s next moves were going to be, he lunged forward, gripping the collar of the guys polo, his fist connecting to his nose with a loud crack. “Did you really expect me not to break your nose being that much of a dick? You can’t be mad that your buddies aren’t here to protect you if they left you alone!” JJ’s normal aggressive voice returned, his fist painted with the guy’s blood as he sent blow after blow to the guy’s face. 

  “JJ! JJ! He’s had enough! This isn’t worth getting arrested again! JJ,” Y/n pleaded with her angry boyfriend, seeing him slamming the preppy boy against the wall, scarlet blood dropping to the dark hardwood floors of the house. “JJ,” She tried again, her voice scratchy from yelling so loud. “Pope! Help me grab his arm!” She called, a crowd forming to watch the fight. She knew John B was still too drunk to be able to help. Pope rushed towards JJ, the pair grabbing his arm when he went to power up another punch. 

  “Come on, man! We gotta go!” Pope called, but JJ stomped his foot into the Prep’s foot, a strangled scream leaving the Prep’s mouth as the tiny bones in his foot cracked. 

  “JJ! Stop!” Y/n yelled, tugging on the arm she clutched to her. JJ, having just sent a harsh kick to the shin of the opposite leg that he had just stepped on, glanced at her. Her eyes pleaded with him to stop as she tugged on his arm once again. He couldn’t help but compare her to earlier that night. Her arms were wrapped around his like they were right them, she shook it, just like she was doing right then, but her eyes were different. Earlier, they were light and big, resembling a puppy dog. Now, her eyes were wide and nervous, scared that he’d get in trouble over her - knowing that the Prep was no match for him. 

  “Let’s get out of here,” JJ nodded. his heart was still thumping with pure fury, but he knew he needed to walk away for her. She nodded, letting go of his arm, thinking he was completely done. “You get the others, I’ll be right there-” He didn’t even wait a second before he sent his knee into the Prep’s groin, hitting him square on. A loud ‘humph’ left the guy as he tried to double over, but JJ held him up by his polo collar. “You touch my girl, I break you. You try to press charges, I finish the job without her here to stop me, deal?” He hissed in a low voice. 

  “JJ! Stop and come,” Y/n ordered, realizing what her boyfriend was still fighting. JJ’s eyes hardened at the lack of response from the scared Prep, making him nod frantically. Once JJ’s hands left his collar, the boy crumpled to the ground, groaning in pain. “Let’s go, someone probably called the cops - the drug dealers took off.” She alerted JJ, Pope already trying to get the other three to follow him towards the van. Y/n grabbed JJ’s hand, pulling him through the watchful crowd. 

  The run to the van was all Pope, Y/n, and JJ trying to get the other three to run, basically pulling them along behind them. Once they were in the van though, that was another story. Tires squealing as JJ pulled off, speeding down the road, Y/n sitting in the passenger seat as she gripped on for dear life, and the other four being tossed around. “I’m sorry for leaving you for so long, someone decided to take an ice bath in the cooler, it took three of us to pull him out because his ass got stuck.” JJ spoke up, his voice soft. The van was quiet as eyelids became heavy in the back. Y/n looked over at him, his speed slowing once they got into Pogue territory. 

  “It’s okay, JJ. You protected me, though you went a little over and beyond, but none-the-less, you still protected me. Just like you promised,” Her voice was just as soft, the couple sharing a sweet moment. Cruising down the street, JJ couldn’t help but look over at her. “But, next time, please take yourself into account, Jay. It’s really not worth getting arrested again.” She pleaded. 

  “What are you talking about? Your safety is totally worth getting arrested for. I’d rather get arrested protecting you than you getting hurt. I would lose my mind if you got hurt.” He argued. She perked an eyebrow at him, but he didn’t see it since he turned his head to glance in front of them before looking back at her. 

  “And what happened back there wasn’t you losing your mind,” She asked. He shook his head, a light smile on his face as the air became lighter. “No matter that, how about we make a deal? You learn when to walk away and, to help you learn, every time you walk away from a fight - you get a little treat. How does that sound? We got a deal?” She proposed with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. JJ chuckled, taking one hand off the wheel to attach to her thigh, squeezing it affectionately. 

  “We got a deal.” He agreed, his blue eyes pouring all his love and affection into hers. It was like they were the only ones in the van. JJ’s heart swelled with love so much that it throbbed painfully, feeling like it was ready to burst with all the love being confined within it. Their moment was quickly interrupted by Pope sticking his head between the seats, breaking their eye contact. 

  “Yeah, as cute and sickening this moment between you two is, I would still like to get to John B’s in one piece. So, eyes on the road, Maybank!” He exclaimed, pointing to the empty road. JJ huffed, setting his eyes on the dark road ahead, leaving his hand on Y/n’s thigh. 

  “Fine, but Y/n and I call the spare room!” JJ announced to Pope who settled in the back once again. Pope groaned, kicking himself that he hadn’t called dibs on it sooner. 

  “You two always get the spare! Kie and I get it next time.” Pope bargained, his tone low. 

  “Deal.” JJ smirked, shooting Y/n a wink, flashing his crossed fingers while still keeping them from Pope’s sight. 

  “I saw that, Maybank!”               

[moonknightly]

and you keep me holding on : santiago “pope” garcia x reader (two)

Word Count: 3.4k

Excerpt: “‘I’m her husband,’ he interrupts, anger coursing through his bloodstream at the Lieutenant’s word choice. He swallows thickly, pushing the rage down and crossing his arms over his chest. ‘And I would prefer for you to use her name.’”

Warnings: Mentions of blood, kidnapping, violence. 

[SERIES MASTERLIST]

The address the deputy finds is for an apartment complex in Princeton. Santi briefly wonders when Nathan had moved out of New York, but he knows that it doesn’t matter. Nothing really matters except for the fact that he’s one step closer to finding her and one step closer to making sure her Nathan never sees another day outside of a prison cell.

Jay and Santi are in one squad car while Cameron and Parker take up the one directly behind. Three police cruisers lead the way, lights blazing and sirens blaring. Santi’s head is pounding, though he knows that the lights and sirens have nothing to do with it — he’s grown immune to both over the years. No, he knows that he’s beginning to make himself physically ill from the stress and anxiety, but he also knows that there was no way that he could possibly even begin to calm himself down. He didn’t want to calm down.

He also knows that Jay keeps a bottle of ibuprofen stashed away in the glovebox, but even so, he’s not going to pop a pill to take the edge off because the pain is the only thing keeping him grounded — the only thing that makes him feel a little bit sane, the only thing keeping him from spiraling completely. And not only is the ache keeping him there and in the moment, but he also feels like he doesn’t deserve to numb it.

She’s out there somewhere, without a doubt in more pain than he’s even close to being in, and it wouldn’t be fair. He knows that it’s twisted and that she would chastise him if he ever told her that his head had been in such a place, but why should he be free of his pain while she’s still suffering? When it’s all his fault in the first place?

Santi glances towards the clock, and his chest clenches at the time. It's just after three in the morning. She’d left his office right before eight that night, and Santi’s guessing that she'd arrived home at around nine. He didn’t make it home until a little after midnight and for all he knew, Nathan could have already been in the apartment by the time she got there which meant that she’d been missing for six hours already. 

Santi doesn’t like that, not at all, and the pressure in his head only seems to intensify as he starts to think of all the different variables and possibilities.

He rips his eyes away from the glowing numbers, instead deciding to focus his gaze down towards his knees. The orange glow of overhead streetlamps gives little light in the tiny car, but it’s still enough for Santi to notice the stains that cover his pants.

Dry blood. Her blood.

He’d stumbled upon entering the bathroom — had fallen to his knees, hand coming up to clutch his chest as he felt like the wind had been forcefully knocked from his lungs. 

He doesn’t remember much else from the first hour after arriving home to an empty, bloodsoaked apartment. He remembers fumbling for his phone while still kneeling on the bathroom floor, and he remembers shakily dialing Cameron’s number. He doesn’t remember what he had told her, or how long it took for them to arrive after he hung up, but he does remember that it had felt like hours when in reality, it had probably only been ten minutes tops.

But did he even hang up, or had she kept him on the line? Had he been crying? He remembers Cameron placing a hand on his shoulder, he remembers her asking him what happened, her voice far too calm for the situation, and he remembers briefly wondering if she thought that he’d done something to her. He remembers not being able to answer Cameron’s question, his words coming out a jumbled mess, and then there were arms, Jay’s arms, hooking themselves underneath his, hoisting his body off of the floor and dragging him to the bed.

And then there’s nothing for another hour. He doesn’t remember what questions had been asked, or what his answers had been, if he had even answered at all. If they’d found anything of significance. It was like he'd been asleep the entire time, only waking when his irritation had reached a level that forced him to break through the haze.

Santi continues to stare at the blood, trying his hardest to further piece together the events of the night, but he just can’t and the panic starts to creep its way into his veins once more. His skin starts to burn and he brings his hand up in a futile attempt to scratch away the blood, though he knows that it’s pointless. He knows he’ll never be able to get rid of the stain no matter how hard he scratches or rubs, or how many times he washes them.

He doesn’t get a chance to really work at it though, because his hand freezes as soon as it comes into contact with the fabric, and his jaw clenches as he notices the crimson caked around his cuticles, under his nails, settled between the lines that covered his palm.

So much blood, so much red.

All he can do is stare, for how long he doesn’t know, but he does manage to finally retract his hand, deciding to rest it on his stomach overtop of his DEA vest. He brings his attention back to the trees flying by.

“How much longer?” Santi asks, his voice cracking towards the end, though he makes no effort to try and cover it up.

Jay briefly looks towards the GPS, then towards Santi before settling his eyes back on the road in front of him. “Any minute now.”

Santi internally groans, letting his head fall against the cool glass of the window. He’s been quiet for the entire drive, and Jay would be lying if he said the silence doesn’t worry him, but then again he doesn’t think he would be up to talk about the weather or what song was being overplayed on the radio if he were in Santi’s position. He can’t blame him.

Jay hadn't been lying when he said that they were just a few minutes out from the complex, and Santi feels his pulse quicken exponentially as the street sign comes into view. Jay quickly, and probably a little sharper than he should have, turns off the main road and comes to an abrupt stop in a small, cop-filled parking lot.

Santi counts at least seven Princeton PD cars, a SWAT van, and two ambulances. They’d called Princeton as they were leaving Manhattan, Cameron giving strict instructions to call her back if they found anything, but as far as Santi knew, she had never received a call. He was sure she would’ve called him had they found her, would have told him to go to the hospital rather than the apartment complex. He can feel his hope slipping further and further away as he steps out of the car. He doesn’t see a coroner, so he takes that as one good sign.

Jay calls his name, but Santi ignores him. He weaves his way through the crowd of officers, looking for any sign of her or any indication that they had found something, anything at all. There are a few hushed whispers — a deputy telling an EMT that they were searching for the wife of a DEA agent, something about pictures, but nothing that brings him any sense of comfort. Jay finally catches up with him and tugs on his arm in order to get his attention.

“What was the apartment number again?”

“311,” Santi responds, his eyes still searching the crowd.

He’s not even sure what he’s looking for anymore.

He curses under his breath when the realization that she’s not there finally finds its way past the denial. He lets his head fall, a hand flying to his face so he can pinch the bridge of his nose. His head feels as if somebody’s pushing a metal stake through his skull, and he can feel his lungs begin to burn as he struggles to breathe properly. He doesn’t really remember how.

Jay watches as Santi fights to compose himself. He wants to comfort him, to let him know that everything will be okay, but if he’s being completely honest he doesn’t know how. He only gently, encouragingly slaps Santi’s shoulder, effectively getting the other man to finally glance up at him.

“Come on, let’s go up. Maybe they found something.”

Santi seems to think about it for a moment. Does he really want to be in Nathan’s apartment? The short answer is no, he wants to be anywhere but there, but he nods his head anyways. He takes a deep breath and nods one more time before following Jay.

It’s not hard to tell which apartment belongs to Nathan — a cop would enter, and two more would exit. The standard, yellow police tape blocks off a small perimeter around the doorway, and Santi and Jay both flash their badges to the attending officer before ducking underneath.

The small apartment is filled with law enforcement, and for some reason, Santi feels very out of place. He frowns as the feeling settles deep in the pit of his stomach, but he tries his best to ignore it.

But Jay picks up on the fact that something’s wrong, because he stops in the doorway and turns to Santi with furrowed eyebrows, his hand coming up to the other man’s chest to keep him from moving any further into the apartment.

“What’s up?”

Santi shakes his head, his eyes roaming around the room almost frantically. He subconsciously begins to tap his foot against the floor, a nervous habit that took him years to break but suddenly decided to creep back in. “I feel like I shouldn’t be here.”

“Why, because you’re her husband or because she’s not here?”

He takes a moment to answer, seeming to weigh both options in his mind. “Both.”

“Listen, you know you don’t have to be here. Like, you really shouldn’t be here at all to begin with.”

Santi knows that. He knows the problems that could arise from him getting involved, both from a professional and a personal standpoint, knows he could compromise her case if he lets his emotions and attachment get the best of him. Fuck, he isn’t even a detective anymore, he’s not with his squad. Cameron is really pulling some strings to allow him in, but he’s also sure no one else knows that he’s involving himself.

“I just feel like we’re wasting time.”

He feels like he could do a better job on his own, with his boys.

“Pope, we don’t have anything else to go off of...”

“I know that, I’m just-”

Santi isn’t sure how to finish his thought. He’s just stressed, just worried and anxious, just wants nothing more than to have her back in his arms, safe and sound and protected.

“I dunno,” he finishes after another moment, a sigh falling from his lips as he shrugs his shoulders. He really doesn’t know.

Jay nods, seeming to understand what Santi means even though he can’t explain it. “This is our best starting point. We can go from here, alright?”

Santi nods once again, and the pair turn to start making their way through the apartment when they’re almost immediately stopped by someone wearing a Princeton PD jacket.

“Manhattan?”

Jay nods, extending his hand out.

“Lieutenant Anderson,” the officer says, returning the handshake while glancing between the pair. Jay introduces them both, then shoves his hands back into the pocket of his jeans while Santi just stands there, looking a little disinterested. To him, pleasantries are only another waste of time.

But Anderson’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the mention of Santi’s name before settling into a thin line across his forehead. His eyes roam downwards for just a brief second, taking notice that Santiago isn’t wearing a standard NYPD vest. 

“Garcia?”

Santi frowns, eyes narrowing as the Lieutenant repeats his name, his tone sounding almost accusatory, questioning, and the three stand in silence for several seconds, Santi and Anderson not once looking away from each other. 

Anderson is the first to break.

“What’s your relation to the vic-”

“I’m her husband,” he interrupts, anger coursing through his bloodstream at the Lieutenant’s word choice. He swallows thickly, pushing the rage down and crossing his arms over his chest. “And I would prefer for you to use her name.”

Anderson smiles coldly. He shoves his own hands into the pockets of his jacket and rocks back and forth on his heels a few times, appearing as if he’s actually enjoying Pope’s discomfort. “Of course. My mistake. Didn’t mean to offend you or Mrs. Garcia.”

Santi is seething but he keeps his mouth shut, keeps his fists hidden. The last thing he needs to do is lashout at another law enforcement officer and have Cameron revoke his privileges. He doubts that she would in the end, but she would at least threaten it. And then his boss will hear about it and that’s just something Santi isn’t willing to deal with, no matter how hard he wants to land one swift, solid punch to Anderson’s jaw.

Another man in a PDP vest approaches them just then, after another short bout of silence, and he whispers something into Anderson’s ear that neither Santi nor Jay can hear while handing over a small white box.

“What’s that?” Santi asks, his impatience definitely showing.

Anderson merely shoves the box under his arm and waves for them to follow before walking towards the kitchen, the one room that seemed to be unoccupied at the time. Santi is growing more and more annoyed with the Lieutenant with each passing second. Jay’s trying his hardest to stay neutral, but even he’s growing irritated with Anderson’s apparent arrogance and disinterest.

She deserves more than that.

Anderson sets the box down on the counter then take a step away, causing Jay to scoff and Santi to roll his eyes at how dramatic the simple action appeared, but before anyone can comment on it, Santi reaches forward and flips the top off of the box without a second thought.

His frustration is quickly replaced by horror.

Santi feels his heart drop and his face turn pale. His stomach flips as he feels the urge to throw up for what felt like the hundredth time that night. He’s dizzy and has to blink several times to make sure that he’s really looking at what he thinks he is, needs to be one hundred percent sure that’s he’s not hallucinating. Jay looks just as alarmed, and he has half a mind to pull Santi away from the box and out of that goddamn apartment, but they’re both frozen in place, their eyes locked on what has to be hundreds of black and white photographs.

Hundreds of black and white photographs of her and Santi.

Anderson reaches into the box and takes a handful before laying them across the counter so they can get a better look, not that either of them really want to.

There’s pictures of the two of them standing in line at their favorite coffee shop, the one on the first floor of their apartment building — they stopped in nearly every morning before work to get their caffeine fix, and she would sometimes pop in on her way home if she left work early enough. His arm is around her shoulders or around her waist in most of them, something that he always did when they were out in public together because he likes to touch her, to feel her just so he always know that she’s there. There are some where she’s alone and Santi faces the fact that Nathan could’ve easily grabbed her then.

There are pictures of them outside of the hospital, outside of the DEA. Some of them at restaurants and a few from the grocery store. A handful taken outside of her mother’s house, where they went every Sunday morning for breakfast.

There’s even a few sets of them inside their apartment, taken from their fire escape. Santi feels his cheeks heat up as those are laid out in front of him, because not all of them are innocent and the fact that they’d been watched and photographed while making love had him dizzy.

But he’s not embarrassed because they’d been watched — sure it bothers him, of course it does, but he's not embarrassed. No, he’s embarrassed by the fact that he never once noticed Nathan.

The date on the pictures span over a course of thirteen months, the first one taken on September 20th of the previous year while the last one was taken on October 4th, just a few weeks before, and he had been oblivious to each and every one.

Jay’s seen enough. He firmly takes hold of Santi’s arm and drags him out of the tiny apartment, down the three flights of stairs, and out to the car, completely ignoring and bypassing Cameron and Parker, ignoring how they call out to them. Santi pulls away right as Jay throws open the car door, stumbling towards the grass before falling to his knees for the second time that night. He coughs, then splutters, the water Jay had forced him to drink on their way to Princeton coming back up and burning his throat as he heaves into the grass.

It’s his fault. It’s all Santi’s fault and if he had just been a little more observant, he could’ve kept her safe. If he had just been able to spot Nathan even once, he could’ve had him arrested for violating the restraining order and then maybe, fucking maybe she would be at home, tucked underneath the covers and safe.

Cameron quickly rushes over to Santi, though she makes no move to touch him. He’s breathing heavily, struggling to pull air into his lungs. The pain in his head is now close to unbearable, but he still refuses to verbally acknowledge it. He still doesn’t cry, still refuses to let himself break completely. He doesn’t want anyone worrying about him, though he knows they already were.

And he’s right. They’ve never seen Santi so shaken up before, though no one can blame him. It’s completely expected and absolutely warranted.

Cameron gives Santi a couple of minutes to calm himself before she speaks softly to him, gently reaching forward to place a hand on his shoulder. “You need to go home and get some rest.”

“I can’t,” Santi replies without missing a beat. “I need to find her.”

“There’s nothing more you can do tonight Pope. Let Jay take you home.”

Santi stays quiet. He’s mentally and physically exhausted, and he knows that there’s no way he can continue to work in the condition his body is in. And not only that, but he knows that Cameron is right — there’s nothing more to be done. Their hunt led them to a dead end, and like Jay had said earlier, they had nothing else to go off of.

He decides to save his energy, he knows it’s not worth fighting them on it because he would only lose, and Cameron would eventually force him to at least lay down even if he stayed wide awake, even if it was at a hotel in Princeton.

He grumbles out a short, clipped “fine” and stands without another word. He flinches at the irritation that’s evident in his voice because he knows the squad doesn’t deserve it, but he can’t find the energy to care any further, can’t find the energy to apologize. He just hopes that Cameron doesn’t take it personally.

And she doesn’t. She watches closely, cautiously as Santi walks back to the car and settles into the passenger’s seat. The squad all glance at one another, their worry evident, radiating from them and bouncing off one another.

“The same goes for you two,” Cameron instructs, her voice holding no room for argument. “We won’t be of any use to Garcia if we’re all exhausted.”

Neither of them feel the need to ask which of the Garcia’s Cameron is referring to — they know that both need them at their best and on top of their game.

But the wait — the not being able to do anything because they didn’t have anything is already agonizing.

Sleep won’t come easy for any of them.

[lightininglydia]

We’re the same you know- T.T

Pairings: John B x Reader, Topper Thornton x reader

Warnings: cheating, mentions of sex, swearing

I hope you enjoy reading this :)

You smiled as you happily skipped over to the chateau with a few bags in your hands. You hadn’t seen your boyfriend in a few days due to your busy work schedule but today you both finally had the day off. There was supposed to be a party tonight that the two of you were going to meet at but you figured you'd surprise your boyfriend earlier so you could spend some quality time together.

You had bought yours and John B’s favourite take out food and a few of John B's favourite films, having a cute little day planned out for the two of you. You had definitely been longing to spend some alone time with him and figured today would be the perfect day to do so.... Pope and JJ were hopefully busy and Kiara was working all day so you knew there would be little to no disruptions to your perfectly planned day.

You walked into the chateau and called out your boyfriends name but didn't get a reply. You looked outside and saw the HMS Pogue and the Twinkie so he couldn't possibly be out with the boys. This caused a small frown to settle on your face. you shook your head slightly and made your way to his room. Your heart swelled when you saw him fast asleep but quickly broke when you noticed what was next to him.... a mop of blonde hair you knew all too well.

Sarah Cameron.

" What the FUCK " you yelled causing both John B and Sarah to shoot up out of bed and look at you, the two of them barely in any clothing and marks spread across their bodies, giving away what they had just done. John B's face softened when he saw yours and he jumped up and quickly began explaining it to you.

" it just happened " and " I'm so sorry baby " but you couldn't even really hear what he was saying. Everything was in slow motion just like in the movies as you tried pushing him away from you, tears falling down your face as you pushed past him, desperately trying to get out of the chateau and as far away from him and Sarah as possible.

Once you were out you were met with Pope and JJ, their faces quickly showing a look of concern as they rushed over to you but you pushed them back not trusting anything or anyone.

" did you know " your voice broke as you prayed the answer was no but by the looks on their faces they did.... they knew

" does Kie know? " and they shook their heads no which made you let out a sigh of relief

" I caught them the other day.... I knew I couldn't tell Kie or she'd tell you " JJ mumbled

" so what? You were just going to cover for John b JJ? For how long? How long were you going to fucking LIE to me " you shouted at him but you instantly felt bad. This wasn’t his fault.

" I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled... I'm sorry " you quickly apologized knowing he gets enough of that when he's at home but JJ shook his head

" no... I deserve it " he mumbled and your heart clenched... how did you end up feeling like a monster in this situation?

" no JJ you don't.... John B's your best friend. This is on him not you and I shouldn't have yelled no matter how angry I am " your voice was soft as you spoke to JJ.

While what JJ did was fucked up you never wanted to hurt him or make him feel like he wasn’t worth it or like he deserved all the pain he experienced because he didn’t.

" I'm sorry (Y/N) JJ is John B's best friend but I'm not... I have no excuse as to why I didn't tell you. I guess I just wanted to protect him " Pope whispered feeling guilty

" protect him? What about me? Your best friend.... if it was you getting cheated on....I would have told you " you said to Pope but directing it at both boys

You said nothing else to the two boys as you got into your car. You drove straight to the wreck ignoring the calls from John B. You knew Kiara was working today and to be honest all you wanted was to see her, hoping she could provide you a sense of comfort and happiness. You knew how much she hated Sarah Cameron so hopefully she'd be equally as pissed as you at John B and the guys.

You parked your car and made your way inside, sitting at your usual table. Kie saw you almost immediately and smiled but her face dropped when she saw your state. She turned to her dad and pointed at you probably explaining something was wrong and that she needed to take a break.

He just nodded and offered you a small smiled. He hated the boys, thought they were dirty and troublesome but both him and Mrs. C loved you. You knew you were always welcome at their house and if you didn't already have a job as a cart girl at the country club you would have been offered a job here.

" What happened " Kie asked as she placed a large plate of fries on the table along with two glasses of soda. You smiled softly at her actions and looked up at her as she sat down across from you. Your small smile quickly faltered as you knew how hard this was going to be. She hated Sarah.... and everyone knew that especially John B. This betrayal would hit her too and you knew it.

" You're going to hate this " you mumbled as you tried to prepare the girl, she nodded and motioned for you to continue.

" I went to see John B today.... brought his favourite food and movies hoping to have a couple-y day but when I found him he was in bed.... with Sarah Cameron. I guess they've been sleeping around for a while and the guys knew " your voice broke again as you looked down at your hands trying to somewhat hold it together.

" What? " she asked in disbelief feeling like she didn’t quite hear you right

" yeah " you laughed bitterly as tears flowed down your face

" (Y/N) I'm so sorry " she whispered as she reached across the table and took your hand in hers. You just nodded as you tried not to cry any harder, this was embarrassing enough you didn’t need to be sobbing at the wreck.

" The worst part is he didn't even sound sorry as he listed his excuses.... he almost sounded relieved that I caught him.... relieved that he no longer had to lie to me and pretend that he loved me “

" Pope and JJ knew? JJ is expected but Pope? How could he do that to you? And why didn't they tell me? " she asked feeling confused by the situation at hand

" Pope said he didn't have an excuse... he just wanted to protect John B which is really fucking shitty because why did he need protecting? He was breaking MY heart and lying to me.... They didn't tell you because they knew you'd tell me " you answered

" Damn right " she muttered suddenly feeling very angry at her best friends

" I left the chateau and came straight here.... you're the only person I want to see for the rest of my life and our parents too but still " you said

" God I'm going to kill him! All of them actually... for him to cheat on you when you were the best girlfriend EVER with Sarah Cameron is the worst thing he could have ever done.... you're our best friend (Y/N) and I can't believe those two idiots knew and didn't say shit " Kie spat starting to get really angry

" I honestly don't even know how to feel about it.... I want to say I hate them I really do but I don't. I yelled at JJ and instantly felt horrible and apologized! At the end of the day Pope and JJ are still two of my best friends which really sucks because it doesn't seem like they feel the same way " you sighed as you looked down at the floor

" Well I do... you're my best friend (Y/N) out of all of them I would pick you every single time okay? If I would have known I probably would have beat John B up before coming to tell you " she said in a matter of fact tone which made you laugh

" You're my best friend too Kie.... I'd pick you every single time without a doubt... i'm gonna let you go back to work but you can come pick me up before the party later " you said to her

" wait you still wanna go? " she asked slightly confused as to why you would want to go to a party where John B would most definitely be at with Sarah on his arm.

" you've been looking forward to it for days and you can't go by yourself when you hate all your friends.... so I'm going to come with you and we can't hate all our friends together okay? "

" okay " she said as she let go of your hand and went back to work. You knew the fries and drinks were on the house but you never left the wreck without slipping at least a $20 to Mr. C who tried to refuse it every time but eventually caved.

So you made your way up to him and gave him the bill. He didn't protest as he saw the state you were in.

" You okay (Y/N) " he asked

" no.... teenage boys suck but I'll get over it eventually " you said weakly

He said nothing as he pulled you in for a hug. He considered you to be another daughter just like your parents did with Kie.

Mr. Carrera and your father had grown up on the cut together, they were best friends so naturally when they had daughters around the same time they decided that the two of you would also grow up together and be best friends.

You pulled away from the hug and gave him a smile and a wave as you made your way to your car. You drove home and went straight to your room ignoring the calls from your parents and cried.... you cried and cried and cried until you couldn’t cry anymore.

Thankfully you always had spoons in your freezer so when it was time to get ready you showered and then held two ice cold spoons under your eyes to depuff them. You didn’t need the whole island knowing you just had your heart ripped from your chest and stomped on.

You then put on your usual jean shorts and oversized Tshirt on, tucking the shirt into your shorts because it looked nicer in your opinion. You then added a few necklaces and let your now dry hair down.

Normally girls would go all out to try and show their ex what they were missing but you didn't have the energy to do that nor did you care that much about John B.... the moment you caught him was the moment he became dead to you, you had nothing to prove to him because he was no longer worth it.... especially because you had caught him with Sarah Cameron someone you had grown to hate over the years due to her constant attitude with you and Kie.

You heard a car honk from outside and you knew that was your que to leave. You said goodbye to your parents and made your way downstairs and out the door. You greeted Kiara with a smile and small hello as you got into her car.

The drive was short and before you knew it the two of you were pulling up to the party. You took a deep breath and tried to calm your nerves. You knew John B would be here with Sarah... Pope and JJ by his side as if his betrayal was nothing... as if you were nothing.

" we can turn around and have a girls night instead " Kie whispered as she turned to you

" no... it's okay " you stated and then got out of the car

Kie grabbed your hand in hers as the two of you walked to the beach.

" I'm scared " you said to her

" I'm scared too... "

" why are you scared? " you asked

" because I don't know what I'm going to do when I see John B parade around here with Sarah as if he didn't just absolutely break your heart like it was nothing.... it doesn't help dumb and dumber are going to be with him instead of us either " she said and you laughed

" I love you ya know "

" I love you too (Y/N) .... I'm gonna go get us drinks which you know they are probably in charge of so go sit over there " she said as she pointed towards a large open spot on the beach.

You just nodded and let go of her hand, both of you going opposite ways. You sighed as you sat in the sand feeling sad.

" mind if I sit next to you " a familiar voice asked from behind you

Topper.

" sure Top " you said using his nickname.

The two of you weren't friends but you also didn't play into the kooks vs Pogues with each other. Topper admired how cool and honest you were so he was always kind to you. That was something you appreciated. He respected you enough to leave the boys alone when you asked and even somehow got Rafe to back down from a few fights with JJ and in return you would defend him to your friends. The relationship you had with each other was odd and very unexpected.... a kook and a Pogue having a pretty high level of respect for one another was practically unheard of if you excused Kiara from her kook title.

" you okay? " he asked knowing all too well what you were feeling

" No... are you? "

" not really.... it just sucks that she cheated on me with a- " he stopped himself

" sorry " he apologized

" don't apologize.... there's a lot of mean shit I could say about kooks too right now " you laughed lightly trying to make him feel better about what he had just apologized for.

" You didn't deserve it.... you're so kind and caring John B didn't deserve you " he mumbled

" You didn't deserve it either.... yeah you kinda suck sometimes but you've always been nice to me and from what I saw you were pretty good to her too so Sarah didn't deserve you either " you said as you leaned your head on his shoulder

" Maybe they are perfect for each other then " he muttered as he turned his head, eyeing John B and Sarah.

" when did you find out " you asked him noticing he was sad but definitely not as sad as you which lead you to the conclusion he had found out before you and obviously not today

" Midsummers " he responded and you sat up faster than you ever had before suddenly feeling sick to your stomach, this made Topper look at you with concern written all over his face.

Midsummers was three weeks ago.

" I found out this afternoon " your voice broke as you realized just how long this was going on for and you couldn’t help but wonder how long it was going on for before midsummers.

" he promised.... he promised me he'd tell you " Topper whispered more to himself than you

" what? " you asked turning to look at him

" when I caught them... I lost it, yelled and screamed at them and then I said I was going to find you.... he stopped me and promised he'd tell you in the morning " Topper said in disbelief

" wait.... your first thought was to yell at them and then come and find me? Why? " you asked

" because I care about and respect you.... I admire how honest and cool you are if I'm being honest I like you and respect how you're always quick to call me and my friends out on my shit so yeah when I found out one of my first thoughts was to come find you " he mumbled as he looked down at the sand feeling slightly embarrassed by his own confession but it was true.

He cared about you.

" Thank you " you whispered to him really meaning it and feeling grateful at least someone who knew seemed to have your back.

" Topper? (Y/N) ? " Kie asked as she approached the two of you with drinks in her hand, confused as to why the blonde haired kook was siting next to you

" Kie I know you just got these but I need them both" you stated with a look of determination on your face. She didn't say anything as you stood up and took them from her hands and just watched as you marched over to John B and Sarah.

" (Y/N) - " Pope started but your harsh glare was quick to silence him. You tapped John B on the shoulder causing him and Sarah to turn around and before either of them could even register it was you the drinks ended up being thrown in their faces

" You're a real piece of shit John B.... Topper caught the two of you at midsummers? That was THREE weeks ago and god knows how long the two of you were sneaking around before that.... I was good to you! always so good to you and this is what I get in return? You promised him you were going to break up with me the next day but instead you decided to string me along? For what? Your own selfish enjoyment? For the thrill of sneaking around? " you spat and he was speechless so you turned to Sarah

" and you.... did you enjoy sneaking around behind my back? Stealing my boyfriend? Cheating on your own? I hope you guys are happy together because you truly deserve one another.... " you spat and then turned around storming off back towards where Topper and Kie sat

" sorry about the drinks " you mumbled as you sat next to Kiara

" don't be.... three weeks? That's fucking disgusting " Kiara scoffed feeling even angrier than she had before.

" I'm really sorry (Y/N) I thought you knew.... I swear to god I would have told you " Topper said, guilt laced in his voice.

" I know Top.... don't worry about it " you reassured him as you moved closer to him, resting your head back on his shoulder.

Being near him right now was oddly comforting.

" I don't think I want to be friends with John B anymore " Kie announced as she looked over at you and Topper

" are you sure Kie? " you asked

" yeah.... I love the carefree lifestyle of being his friend but he hurt you (Y/N) and he hurt me and it doesn't even seem like he cares " she mumbled as she looked down at the and you nodded as you realized just how much this was hurting her too.

" we don't need em.... we can live a mix of a kook and Pogue life just the two of us like it used to be " you said

" I mean.... I know we kinda suck but you could always hang out with the guys and I " Topper said which caused both you and Kie to snort

" Top... you and Kelce are fine but Rafe? He hates us" you laughed

" yeah... my bad but hey maybe we can change that " he laughed with you and you just smiled at him feeling grateful he was trying his best to make you feel better.

" (Y/N) can we talk " JJ asked as he approached the three of you. You looked over at Kie asking for her opinion and she just shrugged. You patted Topper on the leg before standing up and following JJ

" I didn't know it was that long " he mumbled

" I know " was all you said as you walked down the beach with him

" are we gonna be okay? " he asked feeling scared of your answer. He didn’t want to lose you

" eventually.... but things are never gonna be the same. I'm not gonna be around anymore and by the looks of it neither is Kie " you said

" I get it.... soooo you and Topper looked pretty cosy" JJ joked which caused you to roll your eyes and laugh

" I've always enjoyed Topper's company and I mean.... he gets it more than anyone else does so I guess having him as a friend won't be the worst thing ever " you mumbled

" I can't stand him but he's always been nice to you so there's no reason not to be his friend " JJ huffed still not liking the idea

" Where's Pope? " you asked as you scanned the crowd looking for him

" after you threw drinks in John B and Sarah's face and yelled at them he yelled at John B and then left.... he feels horrible " JJ sighed as the two of you turned around and began walking back towards Topper and Kie

" It's okay.... you've both been friends with John B longer and you didn't know how long it had been going on for " you stated simply

" I went after him but he said he needed space so I let him go.... I'm sure you can expect him at your door sometime tomorrow "

" I hope so because you and Pope are still my best friends despite all this shit "

" good.... I'm really sorry (Y/N) "

" it's alright JJ.... I'm not about to flush several years of friendship down the toilet over this. At least not with the two of you. In John B's case he'll be lucky if I ever even look at him again "

The two of you were now back in front of Topper and Kie. You gave JJ a hug and a quick goodbye before sitting back down next to Topper and then watched as he returned to where John B and Sarah stood, Sarah looked to be having a mini melt down as her makeup ran down her face. This caused you to laugh a little bit enjoying her current state.

" we're the same you know " Topper mumbled which caused you to look away from Sarah and over at him

" yeah but that's okay because we have each other. We'll get over this.... together " you smiled softly

" You're really pretty " Topper said suddenly which caused Kie to snort

" dude.... she's been single for like 6 hours I think you might wanna give it at LEAST a day or two before you make your move " Kie said while laughing which caused you to lean over and whack her arm.

" You're really pretty too Top " you giggled as you looked at him

He just rolled his eyes and leaned into you and you couldn’t help but feel as if this was the start of a beautiful friendship..... maybe even something more.

[collecting-stories]

Dear John - John B Routledge

Request: can i request dear john by taylor swift with John B

A/N: I love this song so much, I think it always gets over looked as just another breakup song but it really is deeper than that.

TS Anthology Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

_ . ◦ ⭐︎:*.☾.*:⭐︎◦∙._

Maybe the ocean should’ve given away the temperate feeling that cascaded over you as you stepped off the ferry, or maybe you should’ve known that the Outer Banks wouldn’t feel like home any longer. Either way, the warning signs were ignored as you stood on the dock hands clutching onto the straps of your backpack, that familiar feeling settling into the pit of your stomach. The feeling that had haunted you for a year, a long, excruciating year, of nothing but emptiness. And if it wasn’t for Pope graduating you thought, you wouldn’t be here at all.

-

“I’m going to fall!” You’re voice felt like it echoed in the darkness as you climbed out of the window and onto the roof with John B, your hand gripping onto his.

“You’re not gonna fall, I’ve got you.” He promised, pulling you as your knees found ground, collapsing against him. “See?”

“I see,” you laughed, leaning into the space between the two of you to kiss him.

The sun was just rising and he’d woken you up, insisting that the two of you watch the morning sky together. You had stayed up late with him the night before because he couldn’t sleep, plagued by nightmares of his father out at sea, and had practically begged you to come over and ease them. Exhausted yourself, though feeling guilty instantly for thinking you’d rather sleep, you had snuck out of the house and gone to the chateau.

“Hey,” he nudged you when you leaned your head on his shoulder, “stay awake.”

“I am,” you promised.

“No, you’re falling asleep. I want you to see this.”

“I am, I promise.” You repeated, blinking back sleep to watch the sun.

-

The road back down the cut to the Chateau was etched into your memory. A recent hurricane had taken down the tree you always thought was shaped like an arm, reaching out to grip passers by in terror, dragging them back to the woods. It was cut up in pieces now, lying on the shoulder, defeated by the storm and then again by men with chainsaws determined not to let some old tree stand between them and the rest of the island.

You steadied your breathing as you drew closer, heart pounding in your chest as your mind did it’s best to conjure up images of John B. You couldn’t help yourself. You had gotten so far away that you told yourself you forgot what he looked like, what his town looked like, and yet each landmark seemed to jump out at you along the way, familiar to you, however changed. You wondered how much of that would be true of John B. If he too was familiar but changed and in what ways? A new coat of paint, like the Wreck, just a fresh color covering up all the disappointment and manipulation. Or would he be like the ghost tree, cut down and pushed aside, had he retired his condescension and his snark.

-

“No, of course not,” you swore, holding your phone against your ear as you sat up on your bed, trying to apply enough pressure to the heating pad on your stomach, “I just don’t feel good, JB, the last thing I wanna do is go out tonight.”

It wasn’t technically your anniversary, that had been three days prior, when John B was busy with ‘stuff’ as he so eloquently put it and couldn’t get together. He’d promised to make it up to you and tonight he had intended to fulfill that promise, which might’ve been fine if you weren’t laid up in bed with ginger ale and saltines, trying to keep anything down.

“Oh well, I’m sorry that the last thing you wanna do tonight is spend time with me!” He snapped and you could hear the sound of things being slammed around.

“That’s not what I said!” You snapped. You were exhausted, the stomach bug had kept you unable to relax for the entirety of the day and all you were really hoping for was a little relief now.

“Look whatever, you’re still pressed about not spending the actual day together but I rearranged my whole day just to go out tonight!”

You knew it was a lie, it wasn’t even a necessarily good one. But still, the anger in his voice would’ve made you get up and go out if you didn’t think you could puke at any given moment. “I’m not upset about the other day,” you promised, “I know you had work.” You replied, “I’m really sick though John B, ask Pope, he’ll tell you.” You just wanted him off your back and for a split second you failed to realize that telling him Pope knew you were sick would only send him into a tailspin.

“Ask Pope?” John B repeated, “should I call him or do you just wanna slide the phone over…maybe he could do a fake sick voice too?”

“He’s not here!” You snapped, frustrated and a little more confident since he wasn’t physically in your room, just a disembodied voice on a phone. “He came by earlier cause I called Heyward’s for groceries. God, what is your problem today?”

“My problem is that my girlfriend is unappreciative of the fact that I had other shit to do and I put it aside to take you out.”

“I’m sick!” You practically yelled it, hanging up the phone and throwing it across the room before pulling your blankets over your head and closing your eyes. The phone rang again, ten more times in total but you ignored the calls, trying to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow John B would be feeling different, better.

-

You pulled off the road and down the dirt driveway that Big John had always sworn he was going to pave. It had never happened, mostly because saying things and doing them were not actions easily connected in either of the Routledge’s minds. You parked behind an older Subaru that you recognised as Kiara’s, a ‘save the turtles’ bumper sticker on display near the license plate.

There were other cars, some familiar to you, like Luke Maybank’s truck, no doubt driven over by JJ, or Sarah’s SUV, but there were other cars you didn’t recognise. Ones that belonged to people you didn’t know well enough or know at all. You cut the engine but didn’t open the door, sitting there in the yard just staring at the house. Could you do this? Could you walk back in there? Would the parts of you that had taken so long to reconstruct, the pieces that you had to reassemble into some new version of a past you, survive inside that place?

It had been some months, years really, since you had run. Not so long that you had erased all the bad memories but long enough that they no longer played on a loop in your mind. John B wasn’t your only example of love, just the worst one.

The car door felt heavy when you shut it though not so much as the screen door on the porch of the chateau. It was Sarah who answered when you knocked, graduation gift tucked securely under your arm. She hugged you, looking a little more tired than you remembered and you wondered how much of a place you had to step in and say something. Was she there yet? That desperate place where she would listen because this wasn’t what she remembered wanting.

“How’re you?” You had never been mad at Sarah. Everyone always acted like you were, they scarcely talked about her, as if you were waiting for the chance to villainize her. In actuality, you liked Sarah, she was too good for this.

“Good,” her smile strained, “we didn’t think you’d make it.”

“I promised Pope I’d be at his graduation.” You replied, stepping inside with her. Pope looked up at the sound of his name, smiling at you, “I never break a promise.”

-

You stood there in the Chateau, eyes cast just to the side of John B as he tried to explain some trip to Chapel Hill that he took. You stared down the picture of his mom, smiling, and wondered if Big John was the same sort of man his son had become. Had she left because she was selfish or because she wanted her freedom back?

“…and I needed to get into the college to see the paper-“ he kept going, overfilling the story with details you didn’t think actually mattered at all.

“So what’s your point?” You tried again to get him there. Maybe it was the after effects of being sick but the exhaustion that you’d been feeling for the past year and a half had crept into your bones and settled there, wrapping you up like a blanket. You had no other way to explain yourself other than to say that you felt done. Done with this conversation, with his roundabout way of telling you something you didn’t want to hear, as if he got brownie points for ‘breaking the news’ delicately.

“Sarah and I kissed.” John B replied.

“Oh.” What emotion did he want you to have, which did he think you were still capable of mustering?

“I don’t love you anymore, I don’t think I ever did.”

You had to agree, really. You hoped he didn’t, at least, because if this was the way John B loved people, by draining them of any kind of life at all, you hated yourself even more for hanging on.

-

“Oh my god!” Kiara hugged you next, followed by Pope. John B was by the table, you had seen him immediately, waited for the ache but it didn’t come. He was watching you though, as if he was assessing the damage. “You look good,” Kiara said, “happy.

“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling, “I am.”

The house was just a house after all, just walls put together and not a prison. And John B was just a boy.

-

Taglist: @heavenlymama @vindictive-hearts @alexa-playafricabytoto @dontjinx-it @randomficsandshit @niamhobrien @strangerthanfanfiction713 @tovvaa @freckled-and-daydreaming @harleylynn @bibliophilewednesday @dpaccione @bolaurel @poguestyleskye @beautyandthebleh @under-a-canyon-moon @mysterious-adventurer @minigranger @obxsummer 

[guessimwritingficsagain]

To Be Seen, Part Seven

Warnings : depression

Author's note : I based my depiction of Frankie's wife on the movie Laggies that I mentioned before. It's not exactly the same thing but I liked the way the mom was depicted in the movie and how, in the end, everybody made mistakes. I'm still very sad Lynn Shelton left us. So I guess, in a way, this is dedicated to her.

Chapter One ; Chapter Two ; Chapter Three ; Chapter Four ; Chapter Five ; Chapter Six

------

Two weeks later, you broke down. You’d felt it coming, used as you were to that grey cloud slowly sneaking its way into your brain. You called in sick on a Saturday night and turned off your phone, not even feeling guilty about that.

Linda had had her meeting with her ex, and they’d both been tentatively hanging out, trying to fix something that was so broken you didn’t know if there was ever a chance it could be fixed. You’d stayed out of the way, of course. You hadn’t spoken to Linda except for the occasional text to check on her. That left a sinking feeling in your stomach, one that came with the realization that even though you considered Linda your friend, you were also her ex, first and foremost, and though she didn’t mind poking into your love life, she seemed reluctant for you to know about hers. Even though you couldn’t really blame her, that heaviness never went away. That was the first sign.

Jessie’s story was something else altogether. James and Will had set up a tight sleeping schedule at Jessie’s house - a tight schedule of following her to work and staying with her all day, too. Will had involved all the boys except Frankie. They were taking turn watching her, making sure she and her kid were safe. You’d managed to talk them out of going to the guy’s place and beating him up - barely. But you knew that couldn’t last. The way Will had vibrated when you explained the situation told you everything you needed to know about that. Talking to Jessie hadn’t been easy either, because she’d first shut you out completely and resented her brother for telling you, you for telling Will, and Will for telling everybody else. That was understandable too, but things were tense between the two of you, and since none of the men wanted to include you in what you called the Jessie Watch in your head, you were left to watch and worry from afar.

But the worst thing was the complete and utter silence from Frankie. He wouldn’t answer your texts or your calls. You kept replaying the only phone call he’d answered to just like you’d kept replaying the moment he’d offered you wine and chocolates for Christmas - God, you wished you could go back to that time.

You dial his phone number, hoping he picks up. He does, starting with :

‘Listen, now’s not a good time. I’m sorry but I got some things to deal with right now. I’ll call you back.’

Unnerved by the tone of his voice, unnerved by his answer, and thinking we don’t even see each other anymore and I thought you liked me and trusted me you bluntly answer :

‘Pope told me.’

The silence on the other end in unbearable, so you continue :

‘Frankie, talk to me. Don’t shut me out, please.’

You’re begging, and you don’t care that you are.

‘It’s fine.’ He eventually mumbles, his voice unconvincing. ‘I’ll sort this out. I just need some time.’

Some time was more than two weeks apparently, and two weeks was your breaking point.

You felt alone in a way you’d never felt before.

That led you here, right to this moment, you opening a bottle of wine, all by yourself. You sat on your couch, and drank a glass. Then, a second. By the third, you were turning on your phone and dialing your mother. When she picked up, you completely broke down. After the phone call, exhausted by all the crying, you left your phone on the couch and went to bed. The battery was empty when you woke up the next morning, feeling puffy and barely keeping it together. You didn’t bother to plug it in.

As agreed upon the night before, your father picked you up a bit before noon. Starbuck was in her bag, and you’d thrown some clothes in a luggage. You felt a wave of relief wash over you when you put it in your childhood’s bedroom, Starbuck already carefully sniffing around the house. You called your boss to ask to use all of the vacation days you had. You didn’t know what deity to thank for the fact that he agreed. You knew it was all wrong. You knew you should be here for Jessie, for everyone. You father covered that : he went to Anna and Phil, told them about the situation and made them promise not to say a word.

You had three weeks of vacation, and nothing to do but pretend you were a teenager again, living with your parents.

Your father kept in touch with Phil and Anna, if only to get news about what was going on with your friends. At the end of the first week, he came back with a letter. You felt yourself shaking until he added :

‘It’s from Anna.’

He heard your sigh of relief but didn’t say a word, turning around to leave you in peace. As he got to the door, though, he turned around and announced :

‘One of these days, I’m gonna have to have a talk with that boy of yours.’

He looked tired, and worried. Your voice wavered as you answered :

‘You won’t have to if he’s not my boy anymore, Dad.’

You felt like crying, but you didn’t. You turned your attention to the letter instead, and smiled at the first line. Anna had taken to give you your own nickname every time you compared her to Jane from Pride and Prejudice.

Dear Elizabeth,

How long and lonely are the days without you. Our dear cook is not quite himself, since you’ve been away, as he has to endure me without you to soothe the pain in his ass that I am. The counter has lost its light, and even the birds seem to sing in a more quiet manner, as if they were missing their dear friend too.

I hope your dear feline companion Starbuck is doing well in her new surroundings. I do not worry much, though: change can be difficult, but she is anything but faint-hearted.

I will keep writing to you, dear Elizabeth, if only to let you know if a respectable gentleman of good fortune ever comes in to charm me. You must promise, though, that you shall write back.

Your Jane.

The letter was so sweet and thoughtful , with Anna’s clumsy attempt at sounding Jane Austen-ish, you finally cried, only this time, the tears were not all bitter. You could call her, but this seemed more fun. You fumbled around to find a piece of paper and picked up a pen.

Dear Jane,

How sweet of you to write to me. I cannot express how much I miss you too. Do not worry about Phil, for he is softer for you than you know. I am sure you are quite exaggerating to hasten my return. Alas, I will remain where I am, for I find this retreat is beneficial to my health.

Starbuck has taken to her new life quite readily, and is currently enjoying a lovely nap in the sun.

Guard your feelings well, my dear. Experience has taught us much in this matter, recently.

I’m writing a return address on the back, so you can write to me through the post-office and avoid my poor father the task of being the delivery man.

Your Elizabeth.

You left the house for the first time this week to mail the letter.

Those three weeks went by like this.

You learnt that Linda and her ex had called it quits for good. You learnt that Will eventually drove to Jessie’s now-ex-boyfriend’s house and beat the shit out of him, and that everybody watched it happen with glee. You learnt that Frankie’s ex-wife was still in town. Staying on the couch.

You wanted to throw up all the time, these days.

You still didn’t turn on your phone. You used your parents’ line to get an appointment to the doctor. The woman only had to look at you to say :

‘Yeah, you’re not going back to work.’

You knew what she meant : you barely recognized yourself when you looked in the mirror. You didn’t sleep much, you didn’t eat much, and it all showed. When you came home, your father hesitantly said :

‘They’re starting to be worried. They’re asking a lot of questions to Anna.’

You found that you didn’t care, and a little voice at the back of your head warned you that this was worrying but you ignored it. It was so easy not to think. You enjoyed the feeling - maybe a little too much, said the voice again. You ignored it again. You were standing on that fine line : you were aware that you weren’t fine, but you weren’t doing anything about it. You knew it would only take a push to bring you to the other side : and then, you wouldn’t be aware anymore that you were not fine.

‘I got two weeks more.’ You answered instead.

———

You hadn’t seen Frankie in five weeks.

You’d been feeling better, lately, but still considered going back to work. And by that you meant going back to work at all, ever again. You weren’t good at facing your problems, you knew that, and that whole existential crisis about your future sounded a lot like running away but you didn’t have the strength to face anything right now. You wanted Frankie and your friends to make some king of grand gesture while knowing they didn’t have the means to reach you. You knew that was ridiculous and a little bit fucked up. You kept at it anyway.

Anna visited you more and more. The first time she’d shown up unannounced, she looked so hesitant it broke your heart. You’d hugged her so hard and she’d given it back the same way. She took to showing up in the morning, when your parents were on their daily stroll, though she happily stayed for lunch. Your parents, of course, adored her.

So, that morning, when someone rang at the door, you expected it to be her. You realized your mistake the second you opened it. You took a step back, speechless, and Will and Santi used your surprise to push past you and come in, very much uninvited.

On autopilot, your brain pretty much gone, you turned around and just stared at them. They stared right back, Pope with a hard look on his face. Will, though, looked like he wanted to hug you but didn’t dare. He seemed to struggle for a minute, before opening with :

‘Benny is very upset you missed his last fight. It was a big one.’

You found your tongue, even if it felt heavy in your mouth.

‘Well, I’ve been…’

‘You’ve been what ?’ Interrupted Santi, his arms crossed and his gaze unforgiving. ‘Ignoring us for five weeks ?’

‘My phone is dead.’

‘For five weeks ? Cut the crap.’

‘How did you find me ?’

You crossed your arms too. Whatever reunion you’d imagined, that wasn’t it. The reality of the situation was starting to sink in and you were trying to get angry, because if you got angry, then you wouldn’t break down. You could feel the tension building up your spine, knew exactly what it meant too : that conversation was not going to go well because whatever happened, whatever your reaction would be, the part of your brain labeled stupid and self-destructive was going to take over.

‘How did you find me ?’ You repeated, your fingers digging into the flesh of your arms to try and ground you.

Apparently, though, your brain wasn’t the only one with a part labeled stupid because instead of answering the question, Pope just decided to go with :

‘Do you realize how Jessie feels ? Do you realize how we all feel ? We had to take care of your friend, your friend because you just bailed on us while her fucking ex-boyfriend was beating the shit out of her.’

The silence that followed was heavy, as you could feel both the anger coming off of Santi and the panic that was shaking Will. Your voice was cold, emotionless, as you answered :

‘I was there. Except nobody wanted me there. I was completely useless.’

‘Bullshit. So what, you disappear ? Jesus, Frankie must have a thing for women who pull that kind of stunt because you’re the second one. The boy’s not very smart, apparently.’

‘Pope.’ Will’s voice rang loud in your ears, but you were frozen to the spot. You wanted to answer with some smartass remark, something petty along the line of well she’s back now, so who needs me anyway, just to get back at Santi because you knew in your heart Frankie wouldn’t just leave you like that. You knew there was more to the story but Frankie had completely shut you out before you went off the grid and now Santi was in front of you, scolding you as if you were a child, the whole thing feeling too much and not real at all, like you were having a really bad nightmare.

Pope ignored Will’s warning and went on :

‘You know the worst part ? He’s so worried he’s going crazy right now. We’re fucking back to square one, when I had to pick up the pieces when the other one left.’

‘Pope, stop.’ You heard Will say.

You opened your mouth, just a reflex, because your brain was empty. You couldn’t think anymore. But you opened your mouth anyway and realized too late you wouldn’t be able to contain the sob crawling up your throat. Breaking down it is, then, was your last thought before you started crying and shaking uncontrollably. So you ran to your room, leaning on the walls to avoid falling.

You were crying so hard you didn’t hear the door open, some time later. You felt the bed dip, though, when someone sat next to you.

‘Go away.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Will’s voice answered as a hand went to your hair. ‘Come on, deep breaths. Everything’s gonna be okay but I need you to breathe, okay ?’

Your hand shot up to grab his arm in a steely grip to steady yourself. You complied, though. After a while, you felt like you could breathe again. Will’s hand kept stroking your hair as he started talking :

‘Listen, Pope’s an asshole, we all know that. Anna briefed me a bit about everything. She wasn’t the one who gave us your address, by the way. I swear, the woman is unbreakable. Linda just figured you might be at your parents’ house and we looked it up. I’m a bit ashamed it took us that long to think about it, honestly.’

He chuckled, and went on :

‘Anyway, listen. Frankie’s been really overwhelmed by his ex coming back, and he didn’t react well, though I must say you answered in kind but I get it. He told me how he kept you out of the loop and I know how hard that must have been for you because I can see how much you care about him. It’s so obvious, the two of you. It was even before anything happened. I know Frankie is, you know, the quiet one, and he’s not all sharp angles and shit like the rest of us, but he turns into a puddle when you’re here. He’s unburdened when you’re around. We used to give him shit because he wouldn’t talk to the cute bartender.’

You smiled, still not looking at Will, but he was looking at you and he saw it.

‘Remember when he came to ask you, for Maria’s birthday ? We made him do it. Benny taunted him. He said that if he had to get up and ask you that, he’d also get your phone number and a date with you.’

‘I’d never go on a date with Benny.’ You replied, your voice hoarse.

‘Yeah, you’re smarter than that. Remember the Christmas presents ? Frankie was having a bloody existential crisis over this. He wanted to buy you a book. Linda gave him ideas but he was freaking out because he was scared he was going to buy you a book you wouldn’t like. I actually had to text Jessie about your favorite wine and get Frankie to go shopping with me so he would stop freaking out. Pretty sure I’ve never seen him stressed out like that and we served together.’

‘You already had Jessie’s number ?’ You asked, pretty sure Jessie would have told you right away about that.

His voice grew quiet, thoughtful.

‘Yeah. I had asked for her number one day. But I was really drunk so I never used it. Figured she’d given it to me because she felt obligated or something since I was a regular. I thought I was taking advantage. If I had made a move earlier …’

You turned your head towards Will, then, knowing you looked like a mess and not caring one bit.

‘What happened is not your fault, Will.’

And then, it hit you.

‘Wait, earlier ? That means you did it ?’

His smile was blinding. You squeezed his arm.

‘Good for you.’

You both fell silent for a moment but Will wasn’t done.

‘Listen, that thing with Frankie’s ex, it’s not what you think, even though he’s been an idiot for not telling you. Wendy came back because she’s lost. She thinks she made a mistake, leaving like that, and she’s still trying to figure out if she wants to be a mom. It’s not about Frankie and her, okay ? It’s about Maria. She wants to try, maybe. She still doesn’t know. Pope shouldn’t have talked to you like that but he’s right : Catfish is lost right now, because he misses you and he doesn’t know how to fix it. He’s too damn respectful to show up here unannounced, too. That’s why we came.’

He kept stroking your hair as your mind processed everything.

When you left the room, Santi was waiting in the garden. You went over to him and hugged him. He whispered apologies in your ear.

-------------------

Taglist :

@pedritobalmando @ubri8

[cinnamon-roll-seth]

Where Were You || JJ Maybank

After staying out all night, leaving you at home worried, JJ finally comes home wasted. You’re determined to get to the bottom of why.

Contains drunk JJ, him being whiny, you being angry, lots of arguing, and some really cute fluff at the end. Also you’re John B’s sister.

You jumped and stood up hastily as the porch door slammed, watching as JJ stumbled into the house. Instantly you were hit with the smell of alcohol and weed, which you’d never found to be a very good mix, and had to fight to urge to gag.

It was 5AM and you hadn’t slept at all, being too worried about JJ to allow yourself to drift off. He’d left to go get some things from his house and hadn’t returned. You’d insisted on going to check on him but John B advised you not to, especially with his dad being there.

JJ practically lived at the chateau and you and your brother were happy to have him there. Of course it wasn’t official and he was always welcome to come and go as he pleased but normally he would tell you when he wouldn’t be staying there. The last you knew he was fully planning on coming back before he left last night and that fact that you hadn’t heard from him at all worried you.

“Oh, hey Y/N.” He slurred, nearly tripping over his own feet before falling into the couch next to you.

You crossed your arms, “JJ, you’re drunk.”

“That’s what they all say. I only took like a couple beers. Maybe two?” He answered, holding up six fingers. You rolled your eyes, not even attempting to make sense of the nonsense that had just come out of his mouth. It wasn’t even beer that you smelled on him.

“Go lay down and sober up and then you and I are going to talk.” You told him sternly.

“What are you gonna do if I don’t? Spank me? That’s my job,” He broke into a fit of drunken giggling while you once again rolled your eyes and grabbed his arm, pulling him to his feet.

“I’m serious JJ, go.” You lightly pushed him towards the hallway and he stumbled, grabbing onto the wall. You sighed, realizing that there was no way he was making it to bed without your help.

“No, I don’t want to sleep in there!” He whined as you dragged him towards the guest room, which he’d practically claimed as his own.

“Where the fuck are you going to sleep then? In the bathroom over the toilet?”

He pouted like a child and pointed towards your bedroom door. You sighed and opened the door, pulling him into your room and towards your bed.

“JJ I swear to god if you puke on my bed I’m going to murder you.” You warn, watching as he curls up underneath your comforter. He doesn’t answer and when you look back down at him he’s already sleeping, his chest rising up and down as quiet snores leave his mouth.

At that moment you hear your phone ringing and rush out to the living room, softly closing your bedroom door behind you. You grabbed your phone, which had Kie’s contact photo displayed on the screen, and pushed the answer button.

“Heard anything from JJ yet?” She asks in a concerned tone.

“Yeah. He got home a few minutes ago. He’s wasted out of his ass, I could smell the alcohol on him as soon as he walked through the door. I told him to lay down and sleep it off and that we need to talk when he’s sober enough to pronounce my name properly.” You answer, walking out onto the porch so you don’t wake him up.

“Are you gonna chew his ass out?”

“Hell yeah I am. But first I’m gonna make sure he’s okay. That’s not like JJ, he never stays out all night like that without telling me or John B, he knows I worry. And the way he fell asleep so easily, like he was waiting until he was safe to fall asleep. I don’t know what happened, if it was something with his dad or if he ran in to Topper or Rafe or something but as soon as he’s sober enough to tell me I’m going to get it out of him.”

“Yeah somethings definitely not right. I’m just glad he’s home and safe. I gotta get ready for work. Keep me updated? Love you, bye!” She rushes before hanging up the phone. You sigh and walk back into the chateau, deciding to clean up a bit while waiting for JJ to wake up.

It’s not until nearly seven hours later when he finally comes shuffling out of your bedroom, groaning as he holds a hand to his head which you’re almost positive is absolutely throbbing in pain.

“Here, take these.” You hand him four ibuprofen, which despite being above the recommended dose, is probably the only thing that will be able to dull the hangover headache. He mumbled a ‘thanks’ before putting them in his mouth and swallowing them all at once.

He sat next to you on the couch and it was silent for a moment before you spoke softly, “Where were you JJ?”

“Y/N-“ He started but you cut him off.

“No seriously. You scared the shit out of me JJ, I didn’t sleep all night because I was worried about you.”

“I was on my way back here and ran into a couple of tourists throwing a party on the beach. They offered me a couple shots of vodka and it turned in to more shots. I’m sorry I scared you.” He shrugs and takes a sip of the water bottle you had sitting next to you.

“Bullshit. Even if you only intended to stop for ten minutes you still would’ve called me JJ. You always do.”

“I forgot okay? Jesus get off my ass.”

“So me being worried about you is me being on your ass? JJ I was up all fucking night waiting for you to come home. I was half tempted to go to your dad’s house to look for you. If you had come home an hour later I would’ve already been to the police station to file a damn report.” You snap, standing up angrily.

“Why the fuck does it matter where I was anyway? Last time I checked Y/N you’re my girlfriend, not my fucking mother. I don’t have to tell you every tiny little aspect of where I am or what I’m doing at all times. What, did you think I was out cheating?”

“Of course not you jackass! I thought you’d been jumped or something. I thought you were fucking hurt or dead while you were out getting wasted, obviously not giving a fuck about how I was feeling after you didn’t bother to come home or even call.” You scream. If John B hadn’t already left a few hours before you would’ve been worried of waking him up.

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not your fucking dad, I’m not just going to fucking leave and disappear!” You were taken back by his comment as he stood up so the two of you were only a few inches apart.

It was true that you worried more than you should. Your mothering instinct was high and you often tended to care more for others than yourself. You’d been taking care of John B for practically your entire life despite being thirteen months younger. After the two of you became friends with Kie, Pope, and JJ you started to care for them too and were basically deemed the mother of the group.

After your dad’s disappearance you were a wreck, obviously. You started to worry more about not only John B but the others as well. You’d find yourself calling them more frequently just to make sure they were okay. You didn’t mean to be overbearing, you just couldn’t stand to loose anybody else you love. Nobody had called out on it before now.

You stepped back, hurt evident on your face, “I never said- You know what, fine. You can do whatever the hell you want JJ, I don’t care anymore.” And with that you turned and went into your bedroom before slamming the door behind you.

“Y/N!” He called, knocking on your door a second later, “Y/N please I didn’t mean it.”

“Why did you say it then?” You called, listening to him sigh.

“I- I don’t know okay. Look I’m sorry. I just- you were making me feel suffocated and I just lashed out. I didn’t mean what I said about your dad.”

“You know that’s a touchy subject JJ. Why would you even bring him up. You’ve never done that before.” You reply softly.

“What? Y/N I’m sorry but I can’t hear you. Can I come in?”

“Yeah I guess.” You answer as he opens the door and walks in. You can tell he’s sorry by the way his face softens when he sees the tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“Hey hey, baby I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for what I said and I’m sorry for worrying you last night. Please don’t cry.” He apologizes profusely as he rushes to you.

You shake your head softly, “Where were you? Please JJ, I want the truth.”

He sighs and lifts up his shirt, revealing large dark bruises littering his torso. Your eyes widen and you gasp quietly as you sit up quickly, looking over all the huge dark circles.

“Oh JJ,” You whisper, “What happened.”

“Turns out my dad wasn’t in too good of a mood. After he beat me senseless I waited outside for awhile until he fell asleep then I went inside and raided whatever alcohol I could find. I tried to make it home but I drank more than I should’ve and ended up just sitting by a tree hoping he didn’t find me and go for round two. I sat there for hours until the sun came up and I could finally see to make my way back.”

You didn’t say anything, instead wrapping your arms around his torso in an attempt to hug him, which you found to be a mistake as he hissed in pain and you quickly let go.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You ask softly, pulling him down onto the bed beside you.

He shrugs, “Didn’t want you to think I’m a dumbass. Ooh I get beat up by my alcoholic father so what do I do? Drown my sorrows in alcohol.”

“That was kind of stupid.” You tell him softly and he nods.

“Yeah I know.”

“JJ?” You ask, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t ever scare me like that again.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He whispers, planting I kiss on the top of your head.

Drunk JJ, that’s all I have to say. Also him getting so concerned when he sees you about to cry, I’m soft 🥺💕God I’m so whipped for this idiot

[literallythebiggestfuckingsimp]

SECRETS AND LIES

jj maybank x reader

( NOT MY GIF !!! credits to whoever made it ! )

Gentle fingers touch your sides, pulling you closer. You relax into the touch, knowing who it is. The warm breeze on your exposed midriff makes you shiver slightly, and you feel him wrap you up with his arms. You could’ve just told him that you weren’t really cold, but you were enjoying the touch of your best friend far too much for that — in fact, you were enjoying it a lot more than you should.

You can feel his skin against yours as he rests his head in the crook of your neck. Your good friend John B sits across from you both, telling some story you aren’t paying attention to. Kie is giving you a suggestive glance, noticing the way JJ is holding you, but you don’t see it. You‘re too busy wrapped up in his overwhelming presence, enjoying what little comfort you have now before you’d be forced to head back to an empty home.

“You good?” JJ speaks against your neck, and for a second you’re startled.

His breath feels warm, emitting goosebumps on your skin. You feel yourself nod half-heartedly. His head pulls back and he leans around to face you from where you’re sat in his lap. “Hey, what’s up? You can tell me.”

You sigh. “Nothin’, just thinking.” You don’t want to look at him because you know he already has that look on his face — the one that simultaneously makes you want to scream and yell at him whilst also wanting to come clean and cuddle up to him. It’s the one that reads ‘bullshit’, the one that makes you feel safe in the way that you could reveal all your secrets and he’d make everything okay again by just being there. You don’t look at him because you know that if you did you’d give in. But you can’t give in. You can’t.

“Really, I’m fine,” you stress.

He knows it’s a lie and so do you. But you can’t tell the truth, because you know it would break him. You can’t tell anyone. Not yet.

“Y/N, you know I can tell when you’re lying, right?” he asks, and you want to jump off the HMS Pogue and swim away.

Your friends aren’t watching you and JJ talk, having sensed something was up and moved away to give you guys some space.

“Pffft,” you wave him off. “I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are,” JJ argues. “Everyone has a tell.”

You scrunch your nose up and turn to face him. You think you can look at him now because he’s just handed you the perfect opportunity to change the subject. This way, you don’t have to confront your issues.

“Okay, then what’s mine?” You want to hit yourself for the obvious attempt, because given a clearer headspace, you think you could’ve done it much smoother, in a way that would rouse up a lot less suspicion. JJ knows you inside and out.

He rolls his eyes. “Great way to change the subject,” he comments dryly. “Also, if I told you then you’re just gonna try your hardest to stop doing it and then I won’t be able to tell when you’re lying anymore.”

“I think you’re wrong,” you speak up, turning away from him. JJ frowns. “I don’t have a tell, you just think I’m hiding something and want to get it out of me.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Maybe,” he shrugs. “Or maybe I just know you well enough to be able to tell when you’re lying. Maybe I also know you well enough to know that you’re trying to change the subject right now. But you know me well enough to know that I’m not gonna stop trying to get it out of you, dumbass.”

“Don’t insult me,” you snap playfully, hitting his arm. He doesn’t join in with your light teasing like he normally would, though. There’s still a frown etched upon his lips as he looks at you, and you feel stuck. You know there’s no way to get out of it now. Maybe you could just come up with something, a quick lie to convince him that everything’s fine. Or maybe you could come clean, tell him— No! You couldn’t do that. You don’t want to do that, because that means that you’d have to face the truth, too.

“Come on, Y/N.” He’s pleading now. You cant bring yourself to look away from his face, but you know that you have to. You have to look away or else you’ll get absorbed in that look, and you’ll spill everything. “Just tell me.” Three. For a second you thought he was actually going to say please, but you know he wouldn’t. JJ Maybank is too prideful to use the word please. “Whatever it is cant be that bad.” Two. Just look away, Y/N! You can do this. “I thought we didn’t keep secrets.” He says it likes it’s a joke, but you know it’s not. He’s trying to guilt-trip you, and it’s working. Oh, it’s working alright. But you won’t give in. One.

You’ve done it! You’ve looked away!

But you can’t bring yourself to feel proud that you resisted the boy who stole your heart when you were just thirteen. You didn’t know it then, of course, but you think you’ve always liked him as more than a friend. With you and JJ there was always just that little bit more.

Guilt embeds itself in your stomach, weighing you down. It all feels so stupid, keeping secrets from your best friend. But you’re defence mechanism has always been ignorance. Forever the procrastinator.

“I told you, Jay,” you say firmly. You’re surprised at how strong your voice sounds, and so is he. You expected it to crack and shake but you were glad it didn’t. “I’m fine. Nothing’s going on.”

JJ inches away from you slightly. It’s a small action, barely noticeable, but not to you. To you it makes all the difference of a global pandemic. You feel the hurt with a pang in your chest, but you don’t let yourself feel it too much. You deserved it, you know you did. You deserve that little bit of rejection and hurt and you deserve more — worse.

You’re keeping a secret from your friends because you’re too weak to face the truth. You hate yourself for it, but at the end of the day, that’s just who you are. Someone who relishes in the bliss fitfulness of teetering upon the line of nothing and everything. Someone who keeps their problems to themself and, even when at the verge of breaking, conjures up the brightest smile to give to their friends. You’re someone who’d run away from their problems instead of sitting down and sorting that shit out.

You wish you weren’t that person, but you are.

“Yeah? ‘Cause it sure doesn’t look like it,” JJ says. You think you hear a tinge of anger to his tone, though you know he’s tried to keep it at bay for you. You don’t deserve that — you don’t deserve him, and you know it.

You don’t answer him. You just turn away. “I should probably head home now, anyway,” you say, your voice so quiet and muffled that you’re surprised he even heard you, but he did. He always has done.

You hear him scoff and walk away, and you know you’ve blown it this time. There’s no way you can make things up to him without coming clean, but there’s no way you could do that, either.

Footsteps pad along the floor of the small boat and someone sits down next to you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You don’t look to see who it is, just continue to stare out into the water, tears threatening to break free.

“You okay?” You’re not surprised to hear the familiar voice of John B, but you didn’t really expect him. You thought it might be Kie, but she’s probably better off trying to get JJ out of the mood he’ll be in after your little disagreement.

“Fine,” you mumble back. You know he doesn’t buy it because, come on, who are you trying to kid? It was a half-assed condolence and you know it. John B leans closer to you for a second, giving you a quick side-hug.

“We’ll head back now, drop you off,” he says. You nod, mumbling a small “‘kay, thanks.” That’s all. He gets up and walks away, and you can feel the worried stares of your friends on your back.

This wasn’t how you wanted to spend the rest of the time you had left with your friends. This wasn’t how it should be happening. It’s not fair. None of it is. In fact, the whole situation is bullshit. Maybe you can find a way to fix it before your time is up, and then everything will be okay again.

You’re not unaware of the muffled voices behind you, whispering harshly to each other. You choose to ignore it.

“What’d you do to her, man?” John B says. JJ frowns at him.

“I didn’t do anything!” he argues, and Kiara gives him a deadpan look.

“You’re an asshole and an idiot, of course you did something,” she states matter-of-factly, malice lacing her tone. JJ glares at her.

“I’m serious,” he says. “I didn’t do shit. She was just acting off and I asked her what was wrong and she started getting all pissy at me. She’s been acting off for weeks now. I know I’m not the only one who’s noticed.”

“She has?” John B asks. He seems surprised by the fact that everyone nodded along to JJ’s words and he hadn’t noticed a single thing wrong until today.

Kiara rolls her eyes. “Oh, my god, you’re stupid.”

“Dude, she’s literally been acting weird for, like, two weeks, now,” Pope says. John B’s eyebrows furrow.

John B mutters a small, “oh.”

“Don’t worry, man. It’s not your fault. You’ve probably been so busy macking Sarah that you’ve forgotten how to function,” JJ snickers. “Ooooh! John B! Yes, right there!” he mocks. John B goes red.

“You’re disgusting,” Kiara states with a look on her face. JJ shrugs and winks at her.

—

A loud knock disturbs your thoughts. You’ve been sat in bed, trying to get to sleep for hours now, but to no avail. The knocking comes again, and you get up, sighing. It’s not like you were getting much sleep anyway.

“Hello—?“ you start at you open the door, revealing a distressed looking JJ. “JJ? What are you doing here?”

He ignores you, barging past and running his fingers through his hair. You’re not sure what’s got him in such a state, but the argument from before is forgotten to you as you grab his arm.

“Jay?” you ask. His eyes snap to meet yours in an instant. “What’s wrong?”

“May’s dead.” You feel the colour leaving your face, the breath being sucked out of you. How did he know? How could he have know? You suppose it was only really a matter of time. It’s a small island, news travels fast.

“May’s dead, and you didn’t tell me.” You want to cry, scream, anything, but all you can do is stand there, mouth agape. “And now you’re leaving. And you didn’t tell me any of it. Nothing, Y/N. Why? Why the hell didn’t you trust me, your best friend, enough to tell me that you were going away and I’d never get see you again!?”

He’s shouting now, demanding answers. He knows everything and you feel woozy. Now that it’s out, you’re gonna have to face it. But you didn’t want to face it. You didn’t want to face the fact that your aunt died and it was your fault, and now you were being moved away and you would never get to see your friends— your family, again.

“Jay, I- I didn’t mean to keep it from you, I just—“ You break off your sentence with a gulp, seeing your vision blurred with tears and the familiar lump in your throat that meant you were close to breaking down. “I don’t want to go. I dont want to. It’s my fault May’s dead, mine. And now I’m leaving but I don’t want to. I don’t want to— I don’t—“

The air in the room in getting thinner and it’s getting harder and harder to breath with every second that’s passing. You feel hands on your face, caressing your cheek. You can see the minimal movement of his lips, talking to you, but you can’t hear him. Everything’s blurry. Everything’s quiet. When did the room start spinning? You don’t know.

You’re thinking about the car again. About how May lost control when she came to pick you up from the kegger on the beach. You were wasted, and you called her for a ride. And then she died. And it was all your fault.

Hands shake you, but not more than the sobs that rack your body.

You feel the hands hold your cheeks and move your head to look in front of you, but you’re still not seeing anything except the consistent blur. You blink, closing your eyes.

There are two hands in front of your face, and you hear the faint sounds of counting.

He’s counting his fingers, you realise, and telling you to count with him. You’re starting to gather your bearings as you do. Your panic is fading but heaviness in your heart never, for a second, eases.

You see JJ now, as he is, with his blond hair messy on his head and his eyes blue with worry. You don’t waste another second, fists gripping onto the fabric of his shirt, wrapping our arms around him and burying your face in his neck. He holds you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

That’s what it’s like for the rest of the night. It’s just you and him, basking in the comfortable silence of being in each others presence during this time of need.

It’s the next day when he asks again. “Why didn’t you tell me?” There’s an edge of vulnerability to his voice. You know he’s hurt because you never keep secrets from him, and you know you never should, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“I ... I guess I thought that maybe if i just ignored it, it would go away,” you admit, looking down. “I’m sorry.”

His hands fiddly with your hair, something he likes to do often, and he stays quiet for a moment. “You can trust me with anything, you know.”

A small smile creeps across your lips amongst all the heartbreak and loss in the room. “I know,” you say. Your voice is almost a whisper but you know JJ heard you.

“I’m not just gonna let you up and run, you know,” he says.

“I don’t want to, but they’re moving me. They think I’m staying with May’s boyfriend, but he dipped right after the— the accident. I’ve got a week, more or less.”

“We’ll find a way,” JJ promises. You nod. “But just in case we don’t ... “

You look up to him, confused. He takes a breath, his eyes searching yours. You don’t notice them flicker to your lips. “What—“ He cuts you off, pressing his lips to yours. You freeze. Taking that as a sign of rejection, JJ pulls away. His cheeks flush pink in embarrassment, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen JJ blush — not in recent years, at least.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so so sorry, Y/N. I just thought — shit, I don’t know what I thought. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

This time, you’re the one who cuts him off. Your lips move hungrily against his, the feelings you’ve pushed off for so long coming free into your kiss. His eyes widen, and before you know it, he’s kissing you back, smiling against your lips.

You sit on your bed, eyes bloodshot, skin flushed and blotchy, all with crying. Your hair’s a mess, and you’re wearing one of his sweatshirts with a pair of pyjama shorts.

But in this moment, you don’t care, because you’re kissing your best friend, and he’s kissing you back, and all your problems are forgotten in the moment. And you know that you’ll figure something out, because there’s no way you’re going to leave him. Not now, not ever. You wouldn’t have dreamt of it before, but you had given up, and now he’s given you hope. You won’t leave your family behind.

And from now on, no more secrets and lies.

a/n: idk wtf i was thinking when i wrote this but eh. also i’m a wattpad writer so i like suck at using tumblr ?? like idek what happened to the layout lmao. nonetheless, i hoped whatever poor soul has read this enjoyed it.