#⁺﹒. * musing ⁄ max.

[applettoast]

They’re Jeff the killing me!!!!!

[basslinegrave]

when im waiting for a call i like to draw bunnies

[lovings4turn]

Max: "I was so subtle in dropping hints that I wanted her to move to Monaco"

Also Max: Sent you a photo of his half empty closet with the caption "this apartment is too big. I have no idea how to fill the space," "hey they have that tea you like here that was discontinued for you. It comes with 30 tea bags so you'd have to stay here for a while to finish all of them," "I bought a bigger shoe rack so that you can keep your shoes by the door." Coincidentally moves his phone on facetime to show a mug on the counter with your initial on it in the background.

STOP NONNIE I LOVE THIS 😭😭😭 he thinks he's soo slick about it until he starts telling people and they're like max ? you literally could not have been more obvious about it ? but you just pretend you had no idea at all , not wanting to spoil his pride in thinking he was so subtle about it

[supermaks]

I can show you four. - Max Verstappen, 2024.

[libraryofgage]

Harlequin Prince (2)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually

Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One | Two (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One Queen ClarisseRenaldi One | Two

This part was line-jumped on Ko-Fi, which means y'all got it sooner than I originally planned!

If you want to line jump your favorite series, you can learn more here

Ironically, even tho the post says about a week of turn around, I get so excited that somebody wants to line jump that I just write it immediately lmao

Steve finally gets a good fight in this one, but it ends way too soon the poor boy. Either way, he also gets to meet some of the party!

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

-------

Steve knew his dad wasn't in the picture, but he never knew why. He never asked, but he started to get this horrible feeling after a while. Harley Quinn's past was well known to Steve, her previous...associate and her relationship with him isn't exactly a secret, no matter how much his mother tried to keep them from him. She couldn't protect him at school, and she couldn't protect him from hearing people talking on the streets.

So, yeah, from the age of nine, Steve walked around with this horrendous knowledge in his gut, a knowledge that he wanted to think was just him being paranoid. But it wasn't. He knew it wasn't. He just couldn't admit that to himself, and he couldn't ask his mother because he didn't want to send her down that particular lane of memories. So it festered, and Steve pretended it didn't exist at all.

Until, that is, his 13th birthday. It was held at Uncle Bruce's mansion because his mother wanted to go all out. It was as much a celebration for her (a full three years without getting sent to Arkham!) as it was for him (managing to stay alive for 13 years in Gotham with Harley Quinn for a mother). Steve hadn't minded, either, especially when he saw the absolute joy she had when picking out the hugest bounce-house she could find with Uncle Bruce's sleek black credit card.

The party was catered by Steve's favorite Indian restaurant, the guests were limited to immediate friends and family, the bounce-house was extra bouncy, and a table was practically buckling under the weight of the gifts piled on top of it. It was, by far, Steve's best birthday, surpassing even the one he spent in Arkham after letting Poison Ivy out of her cell.

"Hey, Dumplin'!" his mother shouted, waving at him from the top of the bounce house she'd managed to climb. When Steve looked at her, she grinned even brighter and jumped, launching off turrets and rolling down sloped walls before landing on her feet on the ground. "Let's get to them presents!"

Steve laughed, looked at the table eagerly, and nodded. Her grin somehow getting wider, Harley turned, cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted, "GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR, EVERYONE! STEVIE'S OPENIN' PRESENTS!"

Soon enough, Steve was standing in front of the table, surrounded by everyone, and not at all sure where to start with the mountain of presents. "You should open mine first," Jason said, grinning as he gestured to a bike-shaped package.

It was, in fact, a bike. A motorcycle, specifically, with a red and black helmet and the promise of lessons from Jason whenever he wanted. Steve loved it immediately and ignored Uncle Bruce muttering about driving laws and how Steve couldn't operate any motorized vehicle until he was fifteen. "Well," he said, "as long as I don't get caught by Batman, who's gonna know?"

That had earned him a laugh and his mother's hand ruffling his hair. "Go on, Dumplin', choose another."

Dick got him a literal outfit's worth of Wonder Woman merch, accessories included, that made Bruce look ready to pop a blood vessel. Tim gave him small tracking pins and a hacked handheld game console to watch the trackers with the promise of free upgrades anytime he wanted. Damien gave him daggers since he "wasn't good enough for real swords, but everyone should have a blade" on them, just in case. Cass, Steph, and Barbara pooled their skills together (and Alfred, they borrowed Alfred a lot) to make him an Unofficial Robin costume, complete with shorts only slightly less scandalous than Dick's original costume.

Bruce, when he finally stopped glaring at the three of them, gave Steve a fingerprint panic button shaped like a bat and easily attached to a key ring. "For emergencies, Steve," he said, "Just hold your thumb to it for three seconds."

"This is perfect for the next time we run out of ice cream," Steve said, grinning as he attached it to his key chain.

"Emergencies."

"Oh. So if we run out of mint chip, specifically. Got it."

Bruce merely sighed and let him return to opening gifts.

Alfred gave him a tin of homemade cookies that Steve immediately had to protect from the others. Poison Ivy gave him a Venus flytrap and the promise to help him grow it properly. Selina couldn't be there, but Bruce passed along her gift: a pair of goggles Bruce had handed over with a sigh and quiet request for him to use them responsibly.

Steve opened Duke's present last, eyes widening at the red leather jacket. "Wait, seriously?" he asked, holding it up as he looked at Duke.

"You're gonna be a troublemaker, Steve," Duke said. "Might as well make sure you're bulletproof for it."

Steve grinned wider and pulled on the jacket, swimming in the leather but eager to grow into it all the same.

There was nothing from his mother in the pile, but Steve figured the party itself was his present since she'd done all the planning. When she pulled him away to a secluded room in the manor after they'd all had cake, Steve realized it was just because she didn't want to share this moment with anyone.

She smiled at him, reaching up and gently tucking a few strands of hair behind Steve's ears. "You grew up so fast, Dumplin'," she said, sighing softly.

"Ivy says I'm like a weed."

"Ives is right," Harley said, nodding once before looking away. "Okay, ready for your present?"

"Wasn't the party my present?"

"No, no, Dumplin'. The party was for fun," she said, grinning as she reached behind her and pulled a comically-large mallet from seemingly nowhere. "This is your present."

Steve blinked, leaning over to look around Harley. "Where'd that even come from?" he asked.

"Jester Logic, Dumplin'. Don't worry about it. I'll teach you the trick later," she promised, holding the mallet out to Steve with an expectant expression.

When Steve took it, the weight threw him off. He frowned, shifted his grip, and suddenly had no problem holding it up. He took a closer look, noting the scratches and marks on the mallet and the faded paint. "This was yours," he said.

"Yeah, it was."

"I've never seen it before."

Harley sighed, tugging on one of her pigtails with a slight frown. "Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly a great person when I used it, Dumplin'. Tried to forget about that Harley and all," she explained.

"Then why give it to me?"

Harley looked back at Steve and smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek. "Cuz you're so much better than me," she said. "I think you'll do some great things, Dumplin', and maybe all the good you do will erase most of the bad this mallet's got."

Her words were so serious, her smile was so bittersweet, and she looked ready to cry and deny it. This was the closest he'd ever gotten to learning about her past straight from the source, a past he knew about it, a past that involved a certain person that haunts Steve's mind with terrifying potential. Suddenly, he had to know.

Steve didn't really think before blurting out, "Is the Joker my father?"

Harley froze, her shoulders tensing and her eyes widening as she stared at Steve. "You don't got a father, Dumplin'," she finally said, her voice quiet and her expression conflicted.

"Fine. Was he the sperm donor?"

With a sigh, Harley stepped closer and placed her hands on Steve's shoulders. "I won't lie," she said. "He is, but that don't mean a thing. His crazy ain't hereditary, Dumplin', and he's never gettin' anywhere near you."

"Does...does he know?" Steve whispered, "About me, I mean."

"It don't matter," Harley said, her voice firm and her eyes more serious than Steve had ever seen them. "I'll kill him before he gets near ya. Ives will kill him. Hell, Brucie wil---no, wait, he's got those pesky morals. Fine, Jason will kill him before he gets near ya. Actually, Jason'd kill him anyway, but the excuse will be good if Brucie scolds him for it."

Steve couldn't help laughing at that, feeling a little lighter when his mother smiled back at him. When his laughter trickled to nothing more than a smile, he asked, "Then, was I the reason you left?"

Harley nodded and gently tugged Steve into her arms, holding him to her and cradling the back of his head. "Yeah, you were," she said, her voice soft and soothing. "I was excited to tell 'im when I learned about you, but then I heard him talking to some goons. He was laughin' about running a kid over, breakin' their legs, and I realized...you wouldn't be special to him. You'd've been like his goons, all expendable and not even worth a glance. I couldn't put you through that, and I couldn't put me through it, either. So, I got us out the only way I knew how."

"By finding Uncle Bruce," Steve said.

He felt her nod. "By finding Brucie," she agreed. "He tried to deny bein' the Bat and all, but your mama ain't dumb, Dumplin'. I'd done my homework, and the butts matched. Once I explained it all, once I told him about you, he agreed to help."

Steve nodded, listening to his mother's heart beating against his ear. He glances down at the mallet again, tightens his grip, and takes a deep breath. "Thank you," he said, "for the gift and for telling me. I'll do good with it, I promise."

"That's my boy," Harley said, pulling back and ruffling his hair. "Now, lemme explain that Jester Logic to ya."

----------

Hawkins remains boring even after meeting Eddie. After all, Eddie's in high school (his second attempt at senior year, apparently), and Steve...isn't. He should be, probably, but there's no way he's stepping one foot in that suburban nightmare of a building. He can feel the normalcy, the utter boredom, oozing from the place, and he'd rather not subject himself to that.

So, he spends his day wandering around Hawkins, getting a feel for the little town until he could navigate the place blindfolded. He can do the same in Gotham, but it's more impressive there with the winding streets and sprawling sidewalks. Here, it's nothing special.

The most interesting part of his day is when he's sitting on the roof of a video store, one leg dangling over the edge with the other pulled to his chest so he can rest his arm on his knee. He's about halfway through a cigarette when a cop car pulls into the lot and a middle-aged man steps out.

He looks up at Steve, frowning as he calls up, "You shouldn't be there, son."

"I ain't your son," he calls back, grinning as he takes another drag and blows smoke out as the guy rests his hands on his belt. It reminds him so much of Gotham PD rookies trying to posture that Steve can't help laughing. "Is that supposed to intimidate me?"

"I'm serious, kid," the cop says, apparently ignoring Steve's question. "It's dangerous up there. If you don't come down, I'm gonna have to call the Fire Department to bring the ladder."

Steve sighs and puts his cigarette out on the roof. He gets up, stretches his arms above his head, and stands on the ledge of the roof. He grins at the cop, casually stepping into empty air and hearing the guy shout as he falls. He lands in a crouch on the awning over the door, swings to hang from it, and lands on his feet on the sidewalk.

It wasn't even much of a fall, but the cop looks like he's about to have a heart attack. Steve glances at the badge on his chest. "We done now, Officer Hopper?" he asks.

"Don't do that again," Hopper says, pointing a finger at Steve, "Or I will drag your ass to the station and call your parents."

Steve snorts, doing his best to hold his smile back. "I'll keep that in mind, sir," he says, giving a mocking two-finger salute before turning on his heels and walking down the street.

After a few blocks, he veers off into the forest, figuring he'll wander around the trees for a while before going to the Hideout to bother Bev and stare at Eddie and quietly pray someone else is gonna look for a fight.

Did he mention Hawkins is boring? Because it's fucking boring.

Steve sighs, kicking a stick as he shoves his hands into his jacket. He idly notes the forest is healthy. Sure, a few pieces of litter are strewn around, but it's not as bad as the parks in Gotham can get. Poison Ivy would find this place barely passable, which is hard to manage, and he's tempted to call her when he gets home to tell her about it.

He hums softly as he walks, enjoying the sounds of the forest until they just...stop.

The entire forest falls silent, which is weird; forests are too full of life to go silent. Even the bugs seem to have frozen in place, too scared to risk making a sound by moving. Steve stops, looking around him with a frown and trying to figure out what's caused this.

He gets the answer a second later when he hears a scream. The voice sounds young and cracks slightly, so it definitely belongs to a child. Despite himself, Steve can't help grinning as he takes off in the direction of the scream.

This is the most exciting thing to happen in the four weeks he's been stuck in Hawkins. As he runs through trees and easily jumps over bushes to take the shortest path, he makes guesses on what he'll find. Maybe Hawkins has a villain that's only now showing up. Maybe the town has a secret alligator or something that's decided to have a midday snack. Hell, maybe someone just decided to be a dick today.

He realizes every guess is wrong when he slides into a clearing to see a few kids (two boys, one girl) surrounded by some weird dog-looking...things. They have heads but no faces, crouched low to the ground and growling at the kids they've cornered. There's around ten of them, which would normally make Steve hesitate, but he's so desperate at this point for a real fight that he doesn't care.

Instead, he reaches over his shoulder, thinks about how fucking hilarious it's gonna be to jump out of nowhere with a giant mallet, and grips the handle as he swings it over his shoulder. "Hey, monster mutts!" he shouts, grinning when all the monsters and the kids finally notice him. "Let's play."

Pure, unfiltered joy rushes through him when the first monster-dog jumps at him. Steve's eyes are bright and his grin is positively feral as he swings the mallet and sends it flying into a tree. He roundhouse kicks another dog, using the momentum to bring his foot down on the head of a third before smashing its body with the mallet.

"Are you insane?!" one of the kids shouts.

"Certifiably!" he shouts back, watching as another monster-dog jumps at him. He waits for the perfect moment to back flip, bringing his feet under the dog to send it flying. He brings the mallet up as he lands, clocking another monster under the jaw. It yelps, crashing into another dog.

"Where'd this guy even come from?" the girl asks, turning to look at the boys with her.

"I don't know, but I'm happy to let him deal with the demodogs."

Oh. That's what they're called. Steve hums softly at the name, grinning as he twirls the mallet and swings with all his strength at one of the demodog. He rests the mallet on his shoulder like a baseball bat, watching the demodog arch in the air with an appreciative whistle. "Solid air," he says, nodding once before looking at the remaining demodogs.

There's only three, the others scattered in the clearing. He can't tell if they're dead or not, but he could always smash them to mush when he's done. Steve grins at the remaining dogs. "C'mon, then," he says, only to be filled with disappointment when they creep back, turn heel, and run.

"Damn, that's no fun," Steve says, sighing as he rests the mallet on the ground and leans on the handle. He looks at the kids. "You guys okay?"

The girl has orange hair pulled back into a messy braid. She's staring at him like he's got two heads but is kind of impressed by it. One of the boys has curly hair being smothered by his hat, and the other is wearing a basketball jersey. They're also staring at Steve like he's crazy. "Dude," the curly-haired one says, "that was awesome!"

"Where'd you get that mallet from?" the girl asks.

"Jester Logic," Steve explains, shrugging as he picks the mallet up and walks over. "Wanna hold it?"

When the girl lights up, he passes the mallet to her, snorting when she immediately staggers under its weight. "How do you hold this so easily?"

"Jester Logic. Again. It's funnier when other people find it heavy."

"That makes no sense," basketball jersey says.

"Who are you?" curly hair asks.

"Steve. Moved here recently. What about y'all?"

"Dustin," curly hair says.

"Lucas," basketball jersey says.

"Max," the girl says, her voice strained until Steve takes the mallet back, twirling it like it weighs nothing.

"Great. Nice to meet y'all. Now, what the fuck were those?"

"How much time you got?" Dustin asks.

Steve grins, thinking he's finally found something that can keep him entertained when he's not hanging around Eddie. "Plenty."

---------

Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added!)

@nectandra, @y4r3luv, @just-a-tiny-void,

[cripplepunkbarbarian]

I am so glad that the kid spectrals have such normal and caring spirits who will definitely not physically endanger and/or cruelly betray them in the midst of their lives already being destroyed by cults, monsters, and interpersonal drama. It’s so cool and nice 👍

[stars-n-spice]

Ugh.

Sometimes I remember that Bad Batch gave us this badass Black woman who was a liberator of ancient wonders and was like Indiana Jones but fucking cooler and witty, charming, and FUN and so so so nice and caring and understanding and she befriended the Bad Batch and gave them a safe place in the galaxy to call home and then made her the love interest of the heavily autistic coded white-washed Maori man and thus made them an interracial couple

AND THEN-

they killed off Tech and then used Phee as an uber driver for s3 and didn't give her any closure or anything for his death.

[razziematazz]

yeah sexy bitches it’s extremely goofy headcanon time

(disclaimer: some of this would be specific to a human and/or modern au, because i love drawing them as humans, love the designs i gave them, and was not yet born in 2000- let alone conscious to remember anything about it. also i like giving them tails, even in the human au. this ended up being very long, so here’s a courtesy cut!)

max goof:

this man is BISEXUAL!!!!!!! he and roxanne were bi4bi, but they (mutually) broke up their senior year of highschool bc roxanne was moving for college across the country. after a bit of time, they went to just being close friends :3

speaking of college: we know that the goof family is poor. THEREFORE, i raise you: max is at college via a full ride scholarship. he worked his ASS off to be able to go to college without having to take out loans or “leech” from his dad, and it paid off!

he’s actually REALLY smart but a lot of people don’t know that bc “oh that’s some alt skater boy. he’s probably scraping by with a C average at best”.

he’s also the only reason bobby has passed any classes since junior year of hs

he came out to goofy the summer after he graduated high school. goofy cried bc he was so happy max trusted him enough with that and threw max 2 parties. he is the type of dad to buy max pride socks and wear a shirt that says “i love my gay son” for all of june. max is more than a little embarrassed, but overall? he loves his dad, and he’s really glad his dad loves him no matter what

idc what yall say he is NOT a little white boy as a human 😭😭😭 was literally jump scared the first time i saw him drawn white bc like i just thought it was agreed upon that he’s a POC

continuing with him as a human: yall will see this when i post my designs, but he’s pierced UP ‼️ he’s got snakebites he wears rings in (outwardly mimicking his buck teeth, since i draw the rings thick), both a madonna and monroe piercing, heavily gauged lobes, a double conch and double helix on his right ear, an industrial on his left, a right eyebrow piercing, and a tongue piercing. i also toyed w the idea of hip piercings but thinking abt dermal piercings makes me genuinely sick so

he also taught himself how to do piercings and pierced bobby’s lobe. a good half of his piercings were done at home. do not follow his example <3

(he tried to pierce his nipples and failed horribly, so he just took out the jewelry bc he was NOT having uneven nipples. this is based on one of my friend’s experiences!)

yall already KNOW he’s got that smudgy eyeliner look going on

that takes about 2 minutes. his hair, however, takes him a good 30! and an ungodly amount of hairspray.

his mom left when he was 5 and he barely remembers her

he and the goof troop became quick friends with tank after the x-games, and max definitely had a hand in tank giving bradley another chance

has a pet king snake and a pet tarantula! he got them when his powerline phase was still SUPER strong and named them both after him/his songs. whenever people ask him to explain their names, he gets lowkey embarrassed

got a matching trap stamp w bobby. peej was going to join too but he chickened out as soon as the needle touched down 😭

(the first time bradley accidentally caught a glimpse of max’s tramp stamp, he malfunctioned, fled the room, and had a crisis)

long, double coated black tail

bradley uppercrust III

closeted gay man

he’s the typical frat boy who’s been with a ton of girls, and he just kind of assumed that sex was a chore people went through and it was supposed to be be kind of unfulfilling for everyone

nah it’s just bc he wasn’t actually attracted to women 😭😭 he didn’t realize that he’s gay until his junior year of undergrad

(max and his stupid mouth full of stupid piercings that pours out stupid words and dumber retorts is what made him realize)

(he was literally like a little boy pulling on his crush’s pigtails and didn’t even realize it until about two weeks after the x-games, when he couldn’t stop thinking about how max still smiled at him and called off the bet afterwards)

on this topic: realizing he was gay caused an absolutely gigantic crisis, especially since he didn’t have a support system at all

(tank needed a lot of time to process everything, and even longer to begin forgiving bradley)

(speaking of that, while bradley was still officially the president of the gamma mu mu fraternity on paper [his dad paid everyone off], tank took over his position after the x-games. bradley was basically ostracized)

the main part of why his being gay was such a horrible realization for him is because his dad is the epitome of conservative. his mom believes queer people are just misled.

oh good lord, now it’s time to talk about his horrible father!!

as we’ve said, bradley’s dad is extremely homophobic. he’s the kind of guy to say spew absolutely every false “fact” or “statistic” and homophobic rhetoric anyone could have, and did this to bradley

he also put insane amounts of pressure on bradley

in the words of myself after watching a sad tiktok:

“[bradley is] so comphet and horrible neglectful parents who put far too much pressure on him core. he’s such a trust fund baby except the people who created that trust aren’t even in his life. he’s so simultaneously absent father and father who is constantly There, in his mind, judging him. he’s so internalized homophobia [because of this]”.

his father is definitely financially abusive btw

while he’s extremely rich, he threatens to take away any and all funding and shut down bradley’s cards at even the slightest hint of failure

being gay wouldn’t just get bradley’s funds cuts, though. it’d get him cut entirely from the family.

he’s meant to be perfect because he’s meant to be exactly like his dad and take over his dad’s place after retirement.

even one mistake would “warrant” his dad yelling at him for hours

bradley’s extreme daddy issues is what caused him to react so strongly to goofy saying “well clearly you don’t understand the bond between a father and son 🙄”

also bradley’s dad is the kind of guy to go for younger girls. he had four wives before bradley’s mom, but would leave them as soon as he found out his spawn was to be a girl instead of a boy. he needed a son to take on his “legacy”, and if they couldn’t provide that, they were worthless

and them being ~21 means they wouldn’t know any better

plus, he believes in the stupid “a woman’s prime childbearing years are 16-23 🤓” bs

so like even as he got older, he kept getting with women in that age range instead of those of his own

aka bradley’s mom was 21 and his dad 36 when they got married and had bradley within the same year.

on this note , bradley’s mom is.. not as bad

she holds the same values as his father, but isn’t nearly as extreme

she wouldn’t disown bradley for him being gay, but she would cry and cry because she thought it was a sign she failed as a mother. she’d beg him to “take it back”

to bradley, this is even worse than his father’s anger, since he was a mamas boy through and through.

she wouldn’t ever stand up to his dad, but even when he was young, bradley understood that it was out of fear

if she could get away with it, his mom would always comfort him after his dad’s outbursts

but if she was caught, his father would yell that all this soft treatment would turn him into a (slur i’m not comfortable saying!) and he needed to learn his lesson

all im gonna say is she blames herself

however, speaking of when bradley was young..

his mom has wavy/curly blonde hair

when he was young, he had the exact same hair as his mom

however, as he got older, his hair got darker

until it eventually became the same shade as his dad’s

bradley knew this made his mom a bit sad, but neither of them commented on it, because they both knew bradley was even more upset

it meant that he was now a near carbon copy of his father- minus his hair still being curly, and his lack of facial hair

however, when he got older and his hair became darker, his dad started pressuring him to straighten it, too

of course, he did, even though he hated it

… and at college, as a very subtle way of rebelling, he stopped straightening his hair until he had to see his father

anywayssss onto lighter headcanons!

(roxanne as well interlude !!)

bradley’s maternal uncle is married to roxanne’s maternal aunt!!

(this has absolutely zero basis btw 😭)

minus tank, roxanne was the closest friend to bradley growing up

his dad wasn’t really happy he was so close to a girl, but since roxanne is family, he let it slide; he’s supposed to be such a good family man, after all! it’s the uppercrust image!

anyways, as i said, they were super close

they would gravitate to each other every family get together (christmas, thanksgiving, etc) and would beg their parents to let them visit each other as often as possible

it was much more common for bradley to visit roxanne’s house than vice versa, since roxanne’s parents just have a feeling about bradley’s father. bradley had no issue with this at all

however.. max knew absolutely nothing about this!

whenever roxanne would say “sorry, i’ve got family over right now, i can’t hang out today”, he just wouldn’t question it

and bradley would passively listen to roxanne talk about her crushes, but since he couldn’t relate, it just sort of went into one ear and out the other

they also started to drift a bit during highschool

roxanne coming out to bradley was.. a lot. but he loves her, and knows she’s the best person he’s ever met, and so slowly, he begins to unlearn what his parents taught

roxanne is extremely proud (lol!) of bradley and bradley is.. feeling a lot of things, but he can’t say hate for others is one of them

for a long time, even when bradley was growing closer to the goof troop, winning back tanks everything, and accepting his feelings for max, roxanne was who bradley could always count on. she’s the person he came out to first, and he actually went to her for boy (max) advice multiple times 😭

she caught on quickly but didn’t mind at all

anyways, neither roxanne nor bradley knew that the other knows max- let alone that they eventually both date him

for the first time max is friends with bradley and roxanne comes back to spoonersville for christmas, max introduces them

except they already know each other.

and instead of “hello, im ___”, what he sees is them absolutely booking it towards each other with an “OH MY GODDDD!! HIIIII!! IT’S BEEN WAYYY TO LONG!! I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN, LIKE, 2 THANKSGIVINGS!!!!! HOWVE YOU BEEEN OMG WE NEED TO CATCH UP!!!!”

they both completely ignore max and he’s stood there absolutely DUMBFOUNDED

he is STUNNED

he is the EPITOME of ?!?!?!

bc what are the chances they know each other?? roxanne is NOTHING like the front bradley puts on, and her parents sure as hell aren’t millionaires

and what are the CHANCES max ends up not only having a crush on, but ends up DATING both?????

more roxanne: curled, medium-short haired, solid ginger tail

back to bradley

secretly loves it when max calls him brad instead of his full name

before max, no one had ever shortened his name

it feels like a separation from himself and the uppercrust name

it feels like he’s his own person, and not just an extension of his father- bradley uppercrust II

it takes him a good while and a few drinks to ever admit this, but afterwards, “brad” stops being only a teasing nickname- it has a new undercurrent of warmth

an everything shower takes him about 2 hours. he has very long, very specific skin care (both face and body), hair care, nail care, and grooming routines

these include the usages of no less than 30 different products

he has glasses but would rather wear contacts or just not be able to see than EVER wear them in public.

curled, very fluffy tail with a white bottom and tan top

(his dad forced him to always be in complete control of his tail; to never let it wag, never tuck it, anything. always hold it up high and steady)

(the only time he would let himself forgo these rules is when he was with only roxanne)

(the first time he felt the tell that his tail was about to wag when with max, he left IMMEDIATELY, and it took a while to unlearn all of this)

bobby zimmeruski

biggest stoner any of them have ever met

he’s high for the entirety of both movies

genuinely uses brainrot speak (rizz, sigma, gyatt, etc)

this spread to max, and eventually pj

…and when bradley caught himself thinking a brainrot word for the first time, he was absolutely MORTIFIED

he refuses to say the words.

however, beret girl is never infected!!

religious game grumps viewer

he tried to be a twitch streamer for like two days

pasty ass mf 😭😭

he has to wear spf100 every single time he goes outside in the summer or he WILL get 3rd degree sunburns

short and short-haired ginger tail

PJ

absolutely, 100% in love with bianca

im talking he’s already saving up for an engagement ring

(she would say yes in a heartbeat)

he stops wearing the beret he’s seen in at the end of the movie after a while

bianca assured him that, although she’s flattered, she’d love him just as much if he stayed the exact same as when they first met

his new found love of poetry is as genuine as can be tho

the designated driver for SURE

the “what the flip” to max’s “what the fuck” and bobby’s “what the sigma”

(PJ very rarely curses bc his dad does often. if yall didn’t know, his dad. erm. canonically sucks!! not as badly as bradley’s, but his dad is the “your kids should respect (FEAR) you” type)

has a short haired, black bobtail

beret girl

her name is bianca roan greene (b for beret, roan bc i like it, and g for girl)

she goes by roan bc i want her to escape being BG

(credit to Lian_mail on ao3 for the roan part!!)

also bi but leans heavily towards women

she’s a psychology major

she bonds with max over piercings bc she’s also got a few non-standard piercings!

she’s got double lobes, a helix, a forward helix, a conch and a daith on both sides

she wants a nose piercing but feels like, in regards to her future field of work, she’s already pushing her luck with all of the ear piercings

they’re partially why she wears her hair so long

by far the best at advice and the most level-headed out of the (extended, which includes her, roxanne, bradley, and tank) goof troop

has a long, smooth, long-haired tail the same color as her hair

[wickwackity]

need a win from him so badly

[doomfungus]

Ohkay here's my theory that nobody asked for:

So the problem I keep having is that of textiles. Where are a thousand war boys getting functionally matching pants and scarves? I'm going to say they are not relics from before the Fall, when someone with an odd amount of foresight raided a Kmart. They'd be looking like the rags the wretched wear within a few years at most, IF they ever change them, which I doubt. (Yikes). Their red and black scarves would have to be dyed to match each other, at least. And the wives' gauzy robes? Where did they get those?

Meanwhile I've seen the question raised about how the fuck Furiosa survives as a woman in the Immortan's military, which is pretty fair. I do kind of have a problem with nobody looking for her when she escapes from Rictus and some new kid shows up, and they don't make the kid a war pup, but something adjacent, BUT I do think that once she reveals herself and Jack takes her on, she's probably fine after maybe a few annoying conversations. I think she's like a woman pirate – she's tough as hell, has a loyal crew, she probably does get fucked with some, but that's not the point of the story - this is her legend. But this woman pirate lives within an apocalyptic roman empire, where they don't even talk about women in favor of bloodsport, chariot races and begetting sons - that we don't see them is telling of the world they live in. My point being, the women are there. Furiosa, a few pretty girls, and a small handful of others are not the only women at the citadel.

Someone grows flax, spins it and weaves delicate garments for Joe's wives. Someone makes clothes and dyes scarves, someone mends war boy pants. Someone takes special care for someone she likes and steals glances at him when he's heading out to do war, someone's heart is broken when he doesn't return. Someone's son is made a war pup and her friends console her - it's for the glory of the Immortan, after all. The women are there, living their lives in the background, but, much like in our own world, their stories just haven't made it into the history books.

[blood-starved-beast]

Time-cubing aside, were Zagreus try to fight Chronos one on one, he would lose. Zagreus's fighting style is highly speed dependent. He's all about the tons of dashes and dash-strikes. He can fight more methodically sure, but it's not his norm of fighting and he's not the type, really.

Anyways what I'm saying is someone who fights based on speed (Distance/time reference goes here or something) would struggle a lot to fight someone who can slow down and otherwise manipulate time. Just saying.

[etherealperrie]

so here’s the thing, does anyone want or care for L Word fanfics in the year of 2024?? Bc…I have an idea…

[lovings4turn]

Max V. setting up a little desk for you to work/do a hobby next to his racing simulator that he streams from. Both of you love the peacefulness of just existing next to each other. He got you one of those fancy gamer chairs in your favorite color and maybe with cat/bunny ears on top. You both jokingly call you his pit crew since you pass him things during streams (water/tissues/kisses). He gets so excited and has you lean over to watch replays when he wins (with his real life world champion trophy in the background lol).

STOP RIGHT NOW NONNIE LOVELY THIS IS TOO SWEET I CAN'T COPE ??? max is definitely the type of guy who doesn't care if you guys are doing two completely different things , as long as you're doing them in each other's company , so this is so something he would do omg !! you definitely scolded him a lil when he first bought you the set up because it must have cost a fortune , but he's quick to remind you that he gets paid a ton and so why wouldn't he want to spoil you ???

also definitely claims you're better than his actual pit crew (then makes you swear not to repeat that lest they plot his downfall in revenge) and gets just as excited over his virtual wins as he does his real ones too 😭😭😭

[thissying]

Thinking about that RBR mechanics IG post from summer break, the calendar one. So much potential. Get Thommo and Vlad to do the pictures. Use tyres for tasteful strategic placement. A 'me and my wheelgun' picture. Max with his racesuit half off in between them all for December.

[escapismsworld]

Urania (Muse of Astronomy)

Gabriel von Max 🇦🇹 (1840–1915)

[johannestevans]

cashier in the shop, wryly, and with an arched eyebrow: no pepsi?

me: i already have some at home

him: hmm.