#…do you think the hobbits just like.

[9ofspades]

No but there should be a rumor that hobbits had sharp teeth and a separate belief that hobbits had night vision and some of the dwarves, upon seeing hobbit teeth, would be like “well now I don’t know what to believe.” Some might even just never have noticed their teeth and have spent the entire time thinking the hobbits wanted to eat second breakfast with their EXTREMELY SHARP TEETH. In the Hobbit, they’d frequently have consulted Bilbo on what’s happening at night or in dark spaces, and Bilbo would be like “oh yes that’s all part of this whole thing where I turned invisible once and now I’m the New Gandalf” and never question it, so the misconception doesn’t get corrected. Later, people are always asking hobbits to open packages, the way you ask that of your friend who always has scissors/a knife on them. Hobbits think it’s because they have a reputation for always being prepared to open parcels of food and never find out it’s because everyone thinks they bite it open with their fangs.

[prismatoxic]

"chilchuck isn't a twink, he's a DILF!" now i get why you're saying that but i feel like you've maybe forgotten what chilchuck tims canonically looks like

i'm sorry but this man is a twink. also DILF isn't a body type it's a status (and technically, an opinion) so he can be both

"but he's middle-aged!" look at him. look with your eyeballs. his age has nothing to do with the fact that he Looks Like That. he's a twink. the sooner you accept this the less angry his fandom will make you

edit bc this post has become the bane of my existence:

FAQ

Q: wtf do you mean he's a dad? he looks like a kid. A: he is 29 years old, and a half-foot. half-foots are dungeon meshi's halflings, or hobbits, or whatever you want to call them.

Q: wait, if he's 29, why the fuck are you calling him middle-aged? A: half-foots have an average lifespan of 50 years. chilchuck was originally drawn with grey hairs (you can see that in the manga fullbody) but the mangaka gave up on that over time. he's middle-aged for his race.

Q: hey, doesn't that look like a little angry face on his boot in the manga drawing? A: yea kinda

[boxheadpaint]

some day soon i will lose all restraint and start posting the characters that are very blatantly objects of desire like those cartoon girls on twitter but its not cartoon girls. Its some stuff i found on the floor

[sesamenom]

interesting how in the FA "beyond lay the wilderness of Dungortheb, where the sorcery of Sauron and the power of Melian came together, and horror and madness walked", then in the TA the Fangorn-Lorien-Mirkwood triangle of Weird Sorcery Forests exists between the domains of saruman, galadriel, necromancer-sauron, and radagast

[greeneyed-thestral]

He should never have come. He has no place amongst us.

[code-dy]

Don’t cry, Thorin. Frosting melts when you don’t let the cake cool before putting it on

[dropthecop]

why did my boromir post get notes i'm scared

[girlscience]

I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭

[nighttimeclassics]

why does expressing yourself suck so much - emotions fucking suck.

honestly this is a venting of aggravations more than anything, but I just need to get it out of my body.

why is living out loud, and expressing genuine emotion always met with disdain??? to preface what brought this on, i wrote my friend a book for his birthday - which I was nervous about because it was a last minute decision. i was initially making him a blanket, but I ran out of yarn SO FAST, and couldn't get any more so in a panic wrote him a mythology book because that is something we both enjoy,. I felt bad about it though because he's dyslexic and hates reading books, but the only thing I could afford was spending my own time, because I have no money, so it was the only thing I could think of. and he painted me the most amazing dragon for my birthday a few months back. on top of that, he is one of my best and only friends. i don't know if he knows that. he lives hundreds of miles away and has a solid social network, so I don't know if he knows he's one of the most important people in my life. fuck me that's depressing. but I know Im not one of his closest friends by a long way. i don't think I'm anyone closest friend. shit. he didn't have a bad reaction to the gift, he seems to have liked it, but these reactions were over text, so i cant read the tone at all. i thought it was weird as well considering when it was my birthday, we opened my present together over facetime, so we could talk about it, so why was this over text? but also i just have to keep reminding myself that I'm probably hormonal at the minute and reading too much into everything, especially with the rsd.

but you know, being autistic, with alexithymia and rejection sensitivity dysphoria i have a complicated relationship with birthdays. i have always loved giving people presents to show how much they mean to me, but i learnt very quickly that my elaborate weirdly personal gifts weren't appreciated by most people so i stopped doing that a while ago. but you know, recently i thought fuck that, i want to be my authentic self. i am a stupidly emotional person and i am ridiculously devoted to those i love, friends and family alike. but people always misread my emotions, assuming i fancy them or stuff like that, to the point i even have to question myself - like a reverse of that moment in arrested development when Gob and that magician think they are in love with one another but its just friendship. people should really realise given how ace i am that i am not in love with them, at least as far as i am aware. but god forbid i try and do anything nice, i just don't understand why it makes people uncomfortable? especially when i a, only 'revealing' myself in this way who i feel comfortable around - in line with my efforts in unmasking myself.

and our friendhsip is tentative anyways because he's thought I had feelings for him a while ago - but I don't think that I do - everyone always thinks I'm in love with my friends. but its not my fault that we are all queer, suspected or confirmed neurodivergent nerds. I'm rambling like there is no tomorrow but I think basically what I'm saying is that his reaction made me overthink everything (it doesn't help that we went from talking on facetime a lot to now only talking on text after the accusation that I had feelings for him back in like January) I only just got him back as a friend, I don't want to lose him and I wish I was allowed to live out loud and express myself the way I want to without judgement from society, and those that I trust. I'm bored of hiding myself or walking on eggshells. and I feel like a twat because all of this is over a fucking shitty birthday present that I probably shouldn't have written in the first place. fucks sake. i hold on too tight to people I think. and that is never received well. i try to be normal in my friendships - especially the two I have at the minute. i get that they are the only two friends I have, and they have a bunch so I try not to annoy them when they are the only people I can talk to, but I don't think its working. gods all of this is just a fucking pity party and I need to get a fucking grip jesus christ

[thefabelmans2022]

hobbits celebrate yule. so what the fuck does that mean.

[bombusbombus]

How long can I procrastinate learning how to shave before I look like shit... 🤔

[greeneyed-thestral]

[code-dy]

Wouldn't it be hilarious if during the time Thorin worked as a blacksmith, he ended up marrying Bilbo for his money but Bilbo ended up agreeing to the marriage because the blue mountains is prime mushroom farming estate and the dwarrow just doesn't see the value to it? Like, they're both golddiggers who thinks the other is their sugardaddy or something and they both feel really guilty for only marrying the other for their material possession.

A slow burn fic where they slowly fall in love with one another but feels supper guilty in doing so.

Bilbo, who probably has gift-giving as his love language, keeps on buying things for Thorin and Thorin being super guilty about taking advantage of Bilbo's generosity and is now panicking that maybe Bilbo will stop supporting him financially when Bilbo finds out that he only married him for his money.

Thorin, who probably has acts-of-service or quality time as his love language, spends more time with Bilbo doing menial tasks and just is always there and Bilbo being super guilty that he's taking advantage of Thorin's "genuine feelings" to get access to those mushrooms that made all the other hobbits green with envy and is now panicking that maybe Thorin might stop his mushroom gathering privilegea once Thorin picks up on the real reason that he said yes to him.

Also dwarrow and hobbit cultural difference and miscommunication on what they value the most (dwarrow thinking that mushrooms as a courting gift is just scandalous, while hobbits thinks that giving money is akin to buying someone's affection or something)

[goatsorcery]

i know so much writing advice boils down to "what some people hate other people will love and vice versa" but honestly thats it though; like going on goodreads or other similar sites and reading one-star reviews for your favorite books/popular books is so reassuring because you will find that the things that made people hate it are often the things that made you love it!

[interstellar-elf]

Sometimes I think a good piece of writing advice is you don't need to explain everything. Sometimes I feel like some of you writers need to write an appendix for your fantasy story because that would be nice. You can have your story and a little aside about the linguistic tics of the Dwarves or the textile history of the Elves etc. And I think that's nice.

[rohirric-hunter]

One of the funny things about LotR is that almost every people in it professes to disbelieve in the supernatural, but because they live in a fantasy world their baseline for "natural" is so jacked up. The Rohirrim are like, yeah, there's a wizard in this tower and ancient tradition that we have no reason to doubt says this mountain is full of ghosts, but walking trees? Short people? I don't think so. Galadriel is like, "Listen I heard you describe what I do as magic and look I just gotta clear some things up, okay." Gondorians are like, yeah, of course the Enemy has spectres of men who lived long ago and never died and can now fly above us and incapacitate us with just their voices. This is just a fact of life, okay? But shut up about this magic weed that makes comatose people better. That's an old wives' tale. Royalty? Press X to doubt.

The people group in Tolkien's work who seem most receptive to magic and least restricted by their own notions of what it can do actually seem to be the hobbits. And they use it to avoid meeting people they don't want to talk to