#• anya ⁝ musings ( ❤︎ )

[monsterxmade]

New Tag Dump 4

[yumeka-sxf]

Chapter 75...

I was so looking forward to a tearful reunion between Yor and Anya (since they're my favorite relationship in the series besides Twiyor) and I was not disappointed! ❤ It actually played out exactly as I thought, with Anya finally realizing the weight of what just happened and breaking down into tears before running to Yor (this is also the first time she initiated a hug from Yor instead of the other way around). Guess I got another favorite manga panel now 😭

I had to do a double take when the chapter started with the kids receiving stellas...I was like "are we really gonna skip what happened right after the previous chapter?!" But thankfully we get a flashback that fills in the gaps. I know many of us, including myself, predicted that the kids would get stellas (I personally thought they'd get more, especially Anya, but oh well).

Probably something no one saw coming was the fact that Twilight ended up being at the incident site. I know some people were confused/upset about this, but my interpretation is that he only showed up later, after everything was resolved, and he was not there when the terrorists were actually threatening the kids (I could be proven wrong later of course, but that's what I think as of now). We're told that he "raced" over, so he must have gotten the news from a source besides WISE. It could have been the television broadcast, or an informant like Franky. Plus, knowing Twilight, he probably has means of getting around faster than someone would expect, but he still needed a reasonable amount of time, hence why I don't think he could have been there any sooner than when the incident was wrapping up.

I know people were also disappointed that he reacted as calmly as he did, considering how much danger Anya was in. But I think he's simply still not ready for that level of emotion yet, especially in front of a WISE colleague. Maybe if Yor wasn't already there to comfort Anya, or if he saw exactly what happened on the bus, he would have broken down more. I feel like Twilight having a real emotional outburst (for Anya and/or Yor) would be when the series is heading towards a conclusion, and we're just not there yet. So for now, he's still continuing to spy from the shadows, but I have a feeling we'll get more of his thoughts on the whole matter later.

Another thing I predicted was that this incident would bring Anya and Damian closer - he even gave her compliments and called her a "friend!" Of course he goes all tsundere right after, but it's definitely a big step in their relationship.

And probably the biggest shock was finding out how unhinged Melinda is. At first I was like, "oh, how nice, she's actually a caring mom," but then when she switched...😳

Maybe the trigger for whatever contradictory thoughts she has going on is linked to her husband, since she changed her demeanor as soon as Damian brought him up.

There could still be another chapter or two related to this arc since there are still things yet to be resolved. For example, did Yor realize that she was lied to by Eden about what happened, and also, how does she feel about the perpetrators being Red Circus? And there's still a chance we'll get further reactions from Twilight (again, he's slow with his emotional constipation). We could get a scene of him musing about what happened, and then the impact of how serious it was finally hits him. And then there's Yuri...will he simply recover from his wound off-panel or will he have to spend time recuperating (with the Forgers)? And now we have this whole new development with Melinda. Still so much to look forward to!

[tricksheart]

❤ + spydcddy !!

Send ‘❤' + a url & I'll write positivity / what I think abt them.

it can be yours or SOMEONE ELSE !

( accepting )

@trattcria said: ❤ + spydcddy !! ( @spydcddy )

Honestly one of the best Loid / Twilight I have seen so far. And very unique too since most of the people I have seen either choose Yor or Anya as a muse, which is cool too but I really like spies over psychics and assassins. I love the whole spy genre in general so when someone picked up Loid/Twilight, I was all 'Hell Yes!'.

They really make me appreciate the main character and I think they had inspired me to look up the series. Well, their wiki pages anyways. And I love what I saw, from Loid/Twilight to the world building and story. So much that I wanted to make Akira a verse so he could interact with all of the characters because him and I think they are neat.

In all, the mun on that blog is so cool and awesome. I wish them the best and look forward to reading their headcanons and threads. Words can't describe my overly positive views on them. I can tell they put a lot of hard work into their character and it shows. Here's hoping that we can interact more in the days to come. <3

[coloradohq]

hi! who would you say is most wanted between cillian murphy, gong yoo, felix mallard, cha eunwoo, samantha logan, win metawin, anya taylor joy, valentina zenere or zendaya? sorry the list is long i was thinking of starting off w two muses!

please don't apologize for having options, we love that! personally, I would say cillian murphy, samantha logan or zendaya and admin ann says gong yoo but you really can't go wrong with any of them! members, please feel free to reply as well ❤

[awbarnes-no]

i think that's it for us for the night. we'll be back tomorrow, and if i have the muse . . . i'll be working on things over at @brooklynbred. *fingers crossed* catch me the mun on discord if you have it, and anya on wire for some sms rp. i still wanna write but i need to be off the computer for the night. ❤ ❤ ❤

[yorprincess]

❤❤❤

Send a <3 and my muse will confess one thing they find attractive about yours.

((I'm taking this to mean three things and you can't stop me. ))

"O-Oh... um well... The way you are with Anya! Yes. Your softness with her, how kind and attentive to her needs. It's quite wonderful and something I admire very much about you, Loid.

"A-and your determination, w-whether it is in making sure Anya's studying is effective, or in treating your patients, or...p-helping me through my f-struggles... It's something very a-admirable.

"L-lastly... I-um... Ireallylikeitwhenyouslickyourhairback! I-I think i left the laundry running! I-I'll see you later!"

[galaxietm]

RULES     ━     TAG 20/WHICHEVER FOLLOWERS YOU’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER .

tagged by: @scarlctta & @bcdwclves (thanks for tagging me! ily two! ❤ ) tagging: @eigona / @nmpteen / @werepatra / @pxperhearts / @streetxcat / @famebounded​ / @paramithi​ / @mythosborne​ / @mithconception​ / @pasttorn​ / @r4gn0r0k​ / @veiliisms​ / @feltbrve​ / @bondchained / @fulmiinare / @hathlived / & anyone else who might wanna do this too! if you’ve been tagged by someone else, feel free to ignore this!! (tbfh if you dont feel like doing this dont worry about it!)

GENDER :  female! ASTROLOGICAL SIGN :  gemini! i’m a summer baby who loves the cold / winter ❤   HEIGHT :  around about 5′8 last i checked! (sometimes i forget this bc my brother is 6′4 sadsfdg) SEXUALITY :  asexual panromantic!!  HOGWARTS HOUSE : hufflepuff through and through! FAVOURITE ANIMALS :  uuhhh i love animals in general, but if i had to choose a handful, then i’d choose cats / kittens, wolves, corgis (yes, them or the big ol floofy dogs bc i love hugs!! my mom has a dog that’s part golden retriever and her hugs are so great!! gimmie all the doggo hugs tbh)   AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP :  anywhere from 4 to 9! i never keep track even though i should adsfdgfh NUMBER OF BLANKETS : normally 1! sometimes 2, but i love big and soft / fluffy blankets, and those are normally pretty warm! (my mom got me a big one for christmas and im so happy bc it’s really comfee ohh my gosh)  WHERE I AM FROM : washington state! the southern part of it tho tbh, but i love making trips to the northern part of it! (it’s around a 4-5 hour drive to portland from where im at and like anywhere from 4-6 hours to seattle, haha) DREAM TRIP :   not quite sure! i’d love to make a trip to japan (and almost planned to go with some friends a few years ago, but those fell through and then life happened, haha) but i’d also love love LOVE to meet some of my longtime mutuals / best friends i’ve made since i started writing on here! WHEN I CREATED THIS ACCOUNT :  this one in particular? febuary 2018! (holy shit it’s almost been a year) WHY I CREATED THIS ACCOUNT : honestly? a big ol reason was because i decided to finally leave the rw/.b.y fandom back in 2017 when i made my fandomless oc Noah- but after a few months, i REALLY missed writing some of my muses like Nora, Sora, Gou, Shiro, Anya, & some more! so i decided ‘what the heck, why not’ and decided to make a multi with some of my older muses i wrote as well as some that i never got the chance to write before (like jess, william, abigail and some others!)  honestly, i have my bad days sometimes where i dont want to get online, but people on my dash now have been so much more chill now on this blog than my dash before- and im so glad and appreciate everyone here so much. FOLLOWERS : uuhhh about 457? it’s gone up and down a lot within the last month, and i’m p sure that a good amount of my followers are inactive, but i appreciate you all anyway! i’d love to interact with more of you guys! ❤ (i’ve been considering remaking / moving the multi to another blog, but we’ll see!) 

[monsterxmade]

Following Anya's near escape at five years old, Aris Calwyn came to the grim conclusion that her mother had instilled far too much humanity in his weapon while caring for her those first few years. She showed too much empathy, the beginnings of a moral compass that contradicted his goals, and a desire for connection that had her thinking of the other children as potential friends instead of means to an end the way they were meant to be. A desire to leave the facility because of these traits was especially dangerous considering that if he did his job well enough, the only thing that would make her compliance a 100% surety was a desire to be compliant.

So, he begins to create something inhuman out of her - a dog whose only desire and sense of worth is related to following orders, a sheep who blindly follows the shepherd, a monster who cares for nothing and possesses no desire other than to kill on command. To do this, he begins to convince her that she is something other to the people outside, that there is something inherently wrong with her that makes her less human but more powerful all the same, that isolating her is a way of maintaining her safety and that of others until she is ready for the missions that would lead her out beyond these walls. He convinces her that she was not made for contact and connection because she will destroy anyone or anything she loves, just like the mother she murdered and the items that turned to ash in her hands.

Anya internalizes this, as any child would, over the next ( 9 or 16 ) years but it isn't enough to kill the craving and as her "short-comings" were tolerated less and less and "punishments" became more frequent and painful, as the desire to please her father enough to earn something like love became a more impossible feat than ever before, the want to flee only grows. When the opportunity presents itself, she takes it.

This is a massive part of why Anya finds it hard to connect to others, or rather feel secure in the connections she actually makes more readily than most might think. She actually believes there's something wrong with her, that she is inherently dangerous and destined to destroy anything she loves, so the more she loves someone, the more terrified she becomes of losing them whether she does so because she harms them in some way or because they find out what she is and abandon her before it can happen.

The way she reacts to these fears depends a lot on age, verse, and the influence of the people she's connecting with but generally speaking, fourteen-year-old Anya is usually more prone to panic attacks but less likely to leave. Sometimes, certain things trigger them - mistakes or perceived rejections - but sometimes, it's nothing more than a passing thought that spirals out of control. She clings to the connection like a lifeline while simultaneously hating herself for being "too selfish" to let go. She tends to use a fawning or people-pleasing approach to basically "convince" people that they love her and tries her best to "pretend" to be more girl than monster, hoping if they don't see the truth and she manages to control the bad thing inside her that she can keep her loved ones longer, maybe even forever.

Twenty-one-year-old Anya has grown into more of a stance involving feigned apathy. She tells herself she doesn't need anyone, that she's actually better off alone, and tends to avoid loss by avoiding connection in the first place. She's a lot harder to form any sort of bond with and way more likely to leave someone if she feels rejection may be approaching. She still struggles with a lot of anxiety but is more adept at suppressing her emotions, unfortunately also making herself more prone to letting things build up until she explodes.

Five-year-old Anya still craves love and fear rejection, still fawns as a response to her trauma, and is still prone to lots of anxiety but she has far less of these beliefs instilled in her and is the easiest to connect with and the easiest to help heal from the abuse she endured.