monsterxmade

[monsterxmade]

knowing i wasn’t born this way and i could have been okay is what kills me the most

[monsterxmade]

As soon as the braid is secured, Anya moves, shifting to the other end of the couch where a more comfortable distance eases some of the tension in her shoulders. Then the fidgeting resumes though this time, it is in the way she plays with the end of the braid, pulling it through her fingers, twisting and untwisting.

In answer to Jacob’s question, she gives only a single nod. Breakfast sounds amazing, actually. Anya has only been awake half an hour but her stomach was already in the process of convincing her that she’s starving.

The rest, though…

Stay or go? On one hand, staying sounds nice. She wouldn’t mind being able to let down her guard for awhile but at the same time, she’d be stuck in the house with nothing to do and that was bound to get the better of her sooner or later. Maybe she should go…

But all that she gives in answer is a quiet, “okay.”

Jacob wove the braid as quickly as he was able — with respect to ensuring that he did not hurt her. The end result was messier than he would have liked, but it would hold. His rough hands did surprisingly well with this sort of thing. Years of braiding robes, horse hair, and grass in his free time had given him a talent for it that not even stiff joints or work - hardened palms could challenge.

"There ya go," the cowboy finally said, tying off the end. "This'll help keep it neat. For a while." Jacob folded his fingers together in his lap and leaned back against the arm of the old couch. The furniture in the apartment was worn but comfortable. His grin broadened. "Y'alright if I cook us some breakfast, kiddo ?? I got a job clearin' brush later. — 's up to ya if y'want t'stay here while 'm out. Ya always got your room back there. Reminds me . . . I gotta get a key made so ya got one."

[monsterxmade]

Anya’s eyes narrow, gaze tracking even his most subtle movements. If he was going to move against her, she was going to be ready for it and even with his more…monstrous features, she’s still fairly confident she can kick his ass well enough to get away. After all, she has something he does not…something destructive and all-consuming…

“I told you, I didn’t steal anything,” she lies in repeat. “So I don’t think I’ll be finding myself in any sort of trouble anytime soon.”

"most people know to leave me the fuck alone." he expected her to run off when he caught her and she saw his grotesque features, but the girl was still standing there. she was even talking back to peyton who found it oddly impressive as he let out a short breath of amusement. "you're a tough girl, aren't ya? that's only gonna get you so far, kid. you better watch who you try stealing from before you find yourself in a whole lotta trouble."

[monsterxmade]

“Wait, really?” Her voice still wavers when she speaks but her eyes widen as she looks eagerly between Maurice and Celeste, then to the backpack as it passes hands.

His words should at least deter her somewhat, should smother some of her growing relief with trepidation, but they don’t. Maurice and cruelty are simply not concepts she can pair in any way that makes sense. Since the moment she woke in his arms that first night, he had been nothing but kind and loving, patient and reassuring. She had come to trust touch again when his proved to be nothing but gentle and was learning to accept mistakes because he met them with nothing but forgiveness and guidance. He was powerful, she knew. He was capable of doing what needed to be done to protect her and Celeste ( and who could fault anyone for that? She herself would commit every horrible atrocity she knew to keep this little family of theirs together ) but he was not cruel. After all, Anya would know. She was sure she would feel it if he was, unaware of how much he was capable of hiding from her.

So, she mentally shrugs his warnings off, focusing instead on the fact that he agreed and that she wasn’t going to spend the day anxiously fighting sleep and counting minutes. Everything he says is met with quick and eager nods while a smile slowly spread across her lips.

“I promise.” Maurice’s words are barely finished when hers sound.

Anya moves to hug Celeste goodbye before she wraps her arms around Maurice’s neck, giving a little hop to secure her legs at his waist.

“Thank you.” She presses a kiss to his cheek before her arms tighten from a secure hold to a hug, her own cheek nuzzling against his. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. I promise I’ll be so good, you won’t even know I’m there.”

He might be a 2000 year old vampire but even he was not immune to the desperation on his daughters face. Anya was his pride and his joy. Turning her was the best decision he had ever made and he would never regret it. Seeing her red-rimmed eyes, seeing the tears that filled her eyes, his resolve crumbles. He slowly holds her closely to his chest, pressing the top of her head, humming against her head. Slowly, he rubs her back before he pulls back, lips formed into a thin line.

Celeste had shared the blood memories of the last day he'd been gone to the Council. Now that there was the ultimatum, now that he was required to be present at every council meeting, required to be present at the North American and worldwide council meetings, he knew things would have to change with Anya. He'd thought that she would sleep through the day, comforted with Celeste instead of himself. He was wrong. She'd been traumatized by nightmares, shaking when he returned home that next evening. It had taken her DAYS to fully recover back to her normal self.

He, in good faith, couldn't do that to her again. With a low sigh, his eyes flicker towards Celeste, already waiting with a backpack full of essentials. A pair of over the ear headphones he had commissioned to drown out any noise, even to their vampire ears. He had movies installed on his phone for her to watch.

"If you are to come with me, you will be wearing your headphones." He takes the backpack from Celeste, giving her a kiss on the cheek before putting the backpack securely on Anya's back.

"You will not listen to the Council meeting. I've got your favorite movies installed on my phone and you can watch those." He gently drifts a hand on her cheek, kissing the top of her head again. "Like I said, these can be ugly and I don't want you to experience any of that." Maurice could be ugly. "And...I don't want you to think badly of me if I do something...cruel, alright? You know I would never hurt you or Celeste or any of our friends. I only hurt those that need it, alright?" He hated executions. He hated ordering death.

"Let's go then. Hop on my back. I'll take us to meet Reg."

[monsterxmade]

Send 🫴 to place a hand beneath my muse's chin and tilt their head to look at yours.

[monsterxmade]

[monsterxmade]

I slept!! I’ll be playing catch up here today!!

[monsterxmade]

i am NOT a bite risk. do not listen to them

[monsterxmade]

Onto Greener Fields

"You shouldn't hold on so tight."

"Why don't you just give up?"

"Hope. It's bullshit."

"There's no reason to keep trying."

"I can't be bothered with it any more."

"I just think I shouldn't do this."

"I don't want to do it. I'm done."

"This isn't worth it. Don't you know that?"

"What's the point in this? In any of this?"

"Once upon a time, I had faith in this."

"Nothing in this world is worth hanging on for."

"I'm not staying here any more."

"I'm going off on my own."

"I don't want your help."

"You know, we could go together."

"They don't really care about you."

"If we go together, we'll be stronger."

"I'm giving up on this."

"I'm going to forge my own path."

"You know, I'll be lonely by myself."

"I'm going. Whatever happens to me, at least it'll be my choice."

"This is something new. And that's good."

"I don't want to live in this fog forever."

"There's something else out there, for me."

"There could be something out there for you, you know."

"Let's go. Let's go and see whatever is out there."

"I want this world to change."

"I can't be in this place forever."

"You. Me. Free."

"Take my hand. Trust me. Let's go. Let's leave it all behind."

[monsterxmade]

// I wanna write so bad but I’m so tired.

[monsterxmade]

just MORE great Doctor Who quotes

❛ Please, just see me. ❜

❛ Fear makes companions of us all. ❜

❛ I was going to be with you. Forever. ❜

❛ Love is not an emotion. Love is a promise. ❜

❛ Not everything ends. Not love. Not always. ❜

❛ You’d go to hell if she asked. And she would. ❜

❛ How can a man so young have eyes so old? ❜

❛ Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. ❜

❛ An enemy is just a friend you don’t really know yet. ❜

❛ You don't get to decide when and how your debt is paid! ❜

❛ You know, when I was little like you, I dreamt of the stars. ❜

❛ You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies. ❜

❛ One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel. ❜

❛ There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes. ❜

❛ Mums. Even when they are gone, they're never really done saving us. ❜

❛ You are loved, by so many and so much, and by no one more than me. ❜

❛ Nobody grows up wrong. You are what you are, and that is magnificent. ❜

❛ Everything’s got to end sometime. Otherwise, nothing would ever get started. ❜

❛ There’s no such thing as monsters, they’re just creatures you haven’t met yet. ❜

❛ I'm so old now. I used to have so much mercy. You get one warning. That was it. ❜

❛ I'm not running away from things. I'm running to them before they flare and fade forever. ❜

❛ I am, and always will be, the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes, and dreamer of improbable dreams. ❜

❛ When you love them, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. ❜

❛A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting. ❜

❛ Hardly anything is evil. But most things are hungry. Hunger looks very like evil from the wrong end of the cutlery. ❜

❛ Courage isn’t a matter of not being frightened, you know. It’s being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway. ❜

❛ I’m being very clever up here and there’s no one to stand around looking impressed. What’s the point in having you all? ❜

❛ You know what's dangerous about you? It's not that you make people take risks, it's that you make them want to impress you. ❜

❛ Love, in all its form, is the most powerful weapon we have. Because love is a form and like hope, love abides in the face of everything. ❜

❛ You are unique in the universe. There is only one you and there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn't a sacrifice, it's a waste! ❜

❛ I think it's fair to say in the language of your age, that I lived my dream, I owned the stage, gave it a hundred and ten percent. I hope you have as much fun as I did. ❜

❛ I carry them with me. What they would have thought and said and done. Make them a part of who I am. So even though they’re gone from the world, they’re never gone from me. ❜

❛ We all change, when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s okay, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. ❜

❛ We're all dead eventually. There's hardly any time that we're not dead. Which is a good thing, too. We've got to keep the pace up, otherwise nothing would get done. Dying defines us. Snow isn't snow until it falls. ❜

[monsterxmade]

🐝  *  ―  𝑻𝑾𝑶 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  act natural.  ❜ ❛  be careful.  ❜ ❛  but why?  ❜ ❛  calm down.  ❜ ❛  come here.  ❜ ❛  do you?  ❜ ❛  don't ask.  ❜ ❛  don't cry.  ❜ ❛  don't go.  ❜ ❛  don't move.  ❜ ❛  for what?  ❜ ❛  good idea.  ❜ ❛  guess what?  ❜ ❛  hurry up.  ❜ ❛  i forgot.  ❜ ❛  it's nothing.  ❜ ❛  join me.  ❜ ❛  keep quiet.  ❜ ❛  leave it.  ❜ ❛  let's go.  ❜ ❛  not bad.  ❜ ❛  not now.  ❜ ❛  now what?  ❜ ❛  shut up.  ❜ ❛  take care.  ❜ ❛  take this.  ❜ ❛  that's impossible.  ❜ ❛  then when?  ❜ ❛  think quickly.  ❜ ❛  time's up.  ❜ ❛  try me.  ❜ ❛  wake up.  ❜ ❛  watch out!  ❜ ❛  well done.  ❜ ❛  what happened?  ❜ ❛  what now?  ❜ ❛  who knows?  ❜ ❛  why me?  ❜ ❛  your turn.  ❜ ❛  you're wrong.  ❜

[monsterxmade]

“I’m a monster, you know. One of the dangerous ones.”

A STUDY IN: the identity you’re given vs. the identity you make, the strength of survival, ruthlessness as mercy upon oneself, the goodness buried deep inside, healing one’s inner child, overcoming impossible odds, learning to love and be loved, rewriting one’s own story, choosing kindness in the face of cruelty, the strength in asking for help, & the defining of family.

CARRD.

Promo made by @animuscomms.

[monsterxmade]

you ever loved someone so much, you tried to understand them while they were hurting you

[monsterxmade]

Aris had wondered if the vampire would follow. It seemed likely enough to consider though he had honestly thought he would have more time, that a winding path through the back alleys of central Columbus would make it harder for Maurice to catch up. Threats were so often exaggerations, after all, and surely his wife would not actually arrive so quickly. He genuinely thought he had a chance. Aris believed it enough to let his mind wander forward down the linear path of his developing plan. Some serious research on vampires was the first priority - to weed fact from fiction, to learn their weaknesses and how a human could exploit them…or even how to utilize something nonhuman to do it, if there was such a creature and if Aris would have an easier time controlling it. And of course, there was the possibility of cutting the middle man, of putting himself on equal footing. Maurice had turned Anya; someone could turn him too. What could Maurice do to stop him then? He certainly would not have as easy a time of it as he did tonight.

But then he hears the vampire drop behind him, the dull thud of boots hitting concrete hard. Aris does not get the opportunity to react. In the next second, the brick exterior of the nearest building is rough against his cheek, the hand on the back of his neck as cold as death. A shudder runs down his spine, hands rising to push against the wall but Maurice - as scrawny as he looks - is shockingly strong. ( What Aris could do with that strength! Even if it was only through his daughter! ) And then, just as quickly, he finds himself laid out on the ground, bones aching from the impact. His hands fly out to catch him and pain radiates worst in his broken fingers. A low sound escapes him, equal parts pain and frustration, as he looks back up at his attacker, amber eyes narrowed in what had always been a dangerous warning. Until now. Until they meet the eyes of someone far more dangerous than he is. It’s almost a shock that Maurice doesn’t shy away from it.

“This is the problem with all of you,” he growls through his teeth, temper rising again. It’s an easy thing to smother fear with anger and aggression, to trade helplessness for a false sense of power. Or at least it was for Aris Calwyn. “You lack vision. The fear is supposed to be temporary but people like you and her goddamned mother keep fucking it up!”

Slowly, he moves again to stand. He’ll be damned if he’s going to look up at this boy for much longer, ego smarting despite the knowledge that the “teenager” before him is something older and more powerful than he could even realize. It is hard for his mind to conceptualize, putting his young features and small stature in line with something that could actually be a threat to him.

“She wasn’t like that months ago!” One hand moves but only to point in the direction they’d come from. “All that fucking crying, the neediness, the clinging…like she’s a fucking child! That’s all you! I pushed her beyond that! And yes, it requires a push. She is supposed to be something great, something powerful. You don’t achieve that by coddling!”

Aris dares to meet Maurice’s gaze, dares to speak like he actually thinks he can actually make him understand, dares to believe even a little that any sort of argument will work.

“She still can be. If you just open your eyes…all the potential…even more with the gift you’ve given her…just imagine what she could become if you just step out of my way and let me do what I have to do.”

Her grip upon him does not loosen, despite the rumbling in his chest, the growl that was building. He was furious, practically furious enough to see red. Most of all, he wanted Aris to hurt, he wanted to feel his life drain from underneath his fingers. He wanted the man to hurt just as much as Anya hurt, just as much as he had seen in her memories. Sometimes, her memories bled over in her sleep and he can see the horrors she went though. The people she was forced to kill, the way that Aris manipulated her into his perfect little weapon.

The thought makes his stomach roll in disgust. When Aris settles his gaze upon Anya, speaking those vile words about her being a monster, the growl lingers in his chest, reverberating out. For Anya to be a monster, would mean that Maurice was a monster. And if Aris wanted a monster, he would get a monster.

For so many years, Claude had wanted to make Maurice just as evil as him. Maurice had murdered and for what? To satisfy the bloodlust of his brother? To drink gallons of blood and glutton himself on the taste? He might not have done it for LONG but he still had done it. And he hated every lingering reminder of it. Sometimes, when he was drinking from his current victims, he saw the faces of those that fell to his teeth. He would never take another innocent life, but it didn't make it any easier.

"Shhh, Anya." He whispers to her. "Shh. I know, sweetheart." He knows what she has done because he has done so much worse. How many people had he hurt? How much suffering had he caused? He would never judge her for what she'd had to do because he knew he'd always done worse.

"You're my daughter, Anya. My girl. I will never hate you. I will never want you to go back to him, I promise." He ignores Aris' words for the moment, allowing the man to slink into the shadows. He gently clings to Anya, only pulling her hands off himself once Celeste has arrived. For a moment, they share an identical murderous look. His wife might have a gentle soul but she could kill the same as he could and he knew she would protect Anya with her life. She would fight with the best of them. Vicious and unafraid to take risks, the both of them together made a formidable pair. Her hands gently take Anya from Maurice, despite the young girls protests. He hates it, hates the pleading in her voice.

He knows that she needs him. And the thought that he was just going to GO hurt him more than anything, a reminder of when he LEFT Daisy. For a minute, he's back in 1929 Chicago and they're about to raid the distillery. But NO. This wasn't then and Celeste would keep Anya safe with her life.

Anya wasn't Daisy and Maurice was going to remove the last threat to her existence. He wasn't going to let Aris Calwyn take her away from him. Although he might have told the man he was able to leave, there was no way he was going to allow that to happen. Searching within Anya's blood, while she was upset and defenses were down, he quickly locates Aris, giving his wife a nod as she leads Anya away, clutching to the girl.

Maurice takes to the top of the roofs again, trailing after the human, breathing in the smell of his fear, the smell of his relief. And then he pounces, landing easily behind him, a hand grasping at the back of his neck, easily pinning him against the wall of the alley.

"Surely you knew that I wouldn't let you fucking escape. Surely you knew that I would follow you." He growls, pressing him harder against the wall, lips formed into a snarl as he throws him to the ground. Sword is drawn, twisting it easily between his hands, leaning against it.

"Now, the question is how I should kill you." Voice cold, colder than he ever thought possible. "I want you to feel as scared as she is. I want you to know what it's like to be SCARED."

[monsterxmade]

Megan Nolan, from her novel titled "Acts of Desperation," originally published in March 2021

[monsterxmade]

// Stayed up til after midnight trying to finish this research assignment so I’m running on ~5 hours of sleep and cheap, mediocre coffee. Gonna try and wake up a bit and then I’ll be here and / or tackling some stuff for Celeste on the multi. She and Anya are competing for who can be the loudest lately, it seems. 😅