#“you know i / i’m afraid of change / guess that’s why we stay the same so tell me to leave i’ll pack my bags get on the road / find someone

[userautumn]

july noah cyrus didn't have to be Like That. and yet.

[lvmoure]

Jump Then Fall CS55 Part 2

Pairings: Carlos Sainz x childhoodbff!reader

Summary: In which he realized that it has always been you.

Warnings: none, pure fluff

Part 1 Part 3

Carlos Sainz was just 7 when he met you for the first time, his new next-door neighbor. He remembered the way you’d stood there, small and uncertain, a hand clutching the hem of your dress as your parents introduced you. He’d given you a big, toothy grin, thinking you looked a little lost. From that day on, the two of you were inseparable, spending every moment you could together. Whether it was riding bikes, playing soccer in the park, or inventing silly games only the two of you understood, Carlos knew you’d always be by his side.

One golden afternoon, the two of you were at the playground, taking turns pushing each other on the swings. Carlos could see the joy on your face as you laughed, your head tilted back, eyes shining in the sunlight. Something about that moment made him pause, a weird, fluttery feeling stirring in his chest. He didn’t understand it, but he liked it.

“Bet I can swing higher than you!” he shouted, hopping onto the swing next to yours.

You laughed, challenging him back. “No way, Carlos! I’m going to win!”

The two of you raced to see who could go higher, each laughing louder and louder as you tried to outdo each other. Carlos didn’t care if he won or lost; he was just happy to see you smile like that.

But then, in the midst of all the fun, he noticed you staring at him with this faraway look. He waved a hand in front of your face, grinning. “Hey, are you even listening to me?”

Your cheeks turned pink as you stammered something, and he couldn’t help but laugh, wondering why you seemed so flustered. You weren’t usually like this; you were usually the one to tease him! But he liked this side of you, too, even if he didn’t understand why it made him feel… strange.

“Come on,” he said, reaching out his hand, “Let’s go get ice cream. Loser has to buy!” He grinned, watching you roll your eyes and accept his challenge. As you both ran off to the ice cream shop, Carlos felt that same warm feeling again, lingering, making him realize how much he loved moments like this. He didn’t know it yet, but these simple memories would be some of his most cherished, ones he’d look back on years from now, as the start of something he couldn’t quite name.

By the time high school rolled around, Carlos had grown accustomed to that fluttery feeling in his chest whenever he was around you. He told himself it was just because you were his best friend; after all, you’d been there with him through everything—good and bad. But there was something else, a longing he didn’t fully understand, a wish he kept tucked away in the back of his mind. He was afraid that if he acknowledged it, it would change everything between you.

He didn’t want to lose you. So he stayed quiet, kept his feelings hidden, and tried to be content with just being your friend. It wasn’t always easy, especially when he caught himself watching you from across the classroom or noticing the way you laughed at his jokes. Sometimes, he wondered if you might feel the same, but he was too scared to ask.

One afternoon, the two of you were walking home from school together, chatting about nothing in particular. Carlos noticed the way you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and his heart did that strange flutter again.

“Do you ever think about the future?” he asked suddenly, not even sure why he was asking.

You looked at him, surprised. “Sometimes. Why?”

Carlos shrugged, kicking a pebble on the sidewalk. “I don’t know… I guess I wonder if things will change. Like, if we’ll still be friends.”

“Of course we will!” you said, sounding so sure it made his heart ache. “We’ve been friends forever, right?”

He forced a smile, trying to shake off the feelings bubbling up inside him. “Yeah, you’re right. We’re like… inseparable.”

For the rest of the walk, he stayed quiet, lost in his thoughts. He knew he wanted to be more than just friends, but he couldn’t risk losing you. So he buried his feelings, hoping that somehow, being close to you would be enough.

Carlos didn’t think it would hurt this much, but the day he introduced his girlfriend to you, he felt an odd pang in his chest. He’d met Isabela a few months ago, and she was everything he thought he wanted—confident, funny, beautiful. But the moment he saw the look on your face as he introduced her, something inside him twisted painfully.

“This is Isabella,” he said, trying to ignore the way his voice sounded too bright, too forced. “She’s… well, she’s amazing, isn’t she?”

You smiled, but he could see it didn’t reach your eyes. “Yeah, she seems great,” you replied, but something about your tone didn’t match the words. For a split second, he wondered if you felt the same way he did. But he brushed the thought away; it was probably just wishful thinking.

The weeks that followed were strange. He saw less of you, but every time he was with Isabella, he found himself thinking about you—wondering what you were doing, if you missed him, or if you even cared that things felt different. There were nights he stayed up, wondering if he’d made a mistake, if he was hurting you. But he was too scared to ask.

One day, as the two of you were walking home from school, Carlos finally worked up the courage to say something.

“Hey… are you okay?” he asked, keeping his tone casual.

You smiled, but there was a sadness in your eyes he couldn’t ignore. “Of course, I’m just tired.”

He didn’t believe you, but he didn’t push. Maybe it was better this way, he told himself. Maybe it was better if he never knew how you really felt.

The breakup with Isabela hit him harder than he’d expected. One evening, he showed up at your door, feeling lost and alone. He didn’t even need to explain; the moment you saw his face, you pulled him into a hug, holding him tight.

“It’s okay,” you whispered, your voice gentle and soothing. “I’m here for you, Carlos. I’ll always be here.”

Carlos clung to you, feeling a mix of relief and regret. He’d been so focused on someone who didn’t truly understand him, while the one person who knew him better than anyone else had been right in front of him all along.

As you comforted him, he felt something shift between you. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew he was grateful for it. In that moment, he realized how lucky he was to have you by his side, even if he wasn’t ready to admit the feelings bubbling up in his heart.

After the breakup, Carlos found himself looking at you differently. He started noticing the way you laughed at his jokes, the way you knew exactly how to cheer him up, and the way you always seemed to understand him in a way no one else could. A thought began to creep into his mind, one he couldn’t shake—maybe, all this time, you’d been the one he was looking for.

But he was still afraid. Afraid of ruining what the two of you had, afraid of losing the friendship that meant everything to him. So he decided to keep his feelings hidden, admiring you from afar and hoping that one day, he’d have the courage to tell you.

Because deep down, he knew that love, the kind he felt for you, was worth waiting for.

[jamesdaycare]

“Jessie… Jessie wake up! You’re wetting your pull-ups. Yes you are! I couldn’t sleep and I started hearing a hissing sound. And when I pulled your covers I saw the front of your diaper getting all yellow and warm. Look, even the stars on the front disappeared!”

“My mom told me you threw quite a fit when she suggested you should wear pull-ups since it was the first time you were staying over at our house. But I guess she was right after all… It’s a miracle you didn’t leak!”

“Well of course you didn’t realize, duh! That’s the whole point of wetting the bed! When your pee pee is not mature enough he doesn’t realize he can’t go potty at that moment. So he just lets go! And thank god you had your pull-ups, if not you would have wet all the bed!”

“Yes, I know we’re the same age, but do you see me wearing a diaper? No I’m not! Unlike you, I’m a big girl, and big girls wake up dry! But it’s okay baby, maybe you’re not ready for being a big kid yet.” 

“Wait, are you gonna cry? I see your lip quivering, you’re definitely gonna cry. Oh you really thought there was a chance for us to be something more than friends? Look Jessie, you’re cute and all, but I’ve always seen you more like a little brother than a potential boyfriend. You’ve always been quite immature. And you can’t prove me wrong dressed in a t-shirt and a wet pull-up, and two second away from bawling your eyes out.”

“Here, suck your thumb and try to calm down. This definitely is being too much for you.”

“Now why don’t we go tell my mom what happened? Here, take my hand. I want you to use your baby voice and tell her everything in detail: 

“Jen’s mommy, I had an accident. I was sleeping and I made a pee pee in my pull-ups. You were right, I’m not ready for sleepovers, and I’m not ready for big boy underwear either. Could you change me into a dry pair of pull-ups? And could you also please call my mommy so she can pick me up? I really miss her and I’m very afraid that if I don’t go back home to her I’ll have another pee pee accident and I’ll end up crying like the little boy I am” 

“You think you can do that? Uh-oh, I think someone already added a little bit more to his pull-ups!”

[edenmemes]

tloz: twilight princess (manga) starters

❝ i was shattered. i lost everything. ❞ ❝ i warned you not to take me lightly. ❞ ❝ we’re partners, aren’t we? ❞ ❝ ever since we’ve met, you’ve been disobedient and rude. ❞ ❝ take suffering as your companion, and unease and fear as friends. if you do, darkness will become light. ❞ ❝ it’s a cold world out there. you’ve gotta learn to trust folks. ❞ ❝ as you stand before me now, you’re all desperation and bravado. that is not true bravery. ❞ ❝ you can’t change your past and you can’t change who you were. you can only decide who you’re going to be. ❞ ❝ resentment is a trap of the heart into which everyone falls. ❞ ❝ you don’t look well. are you ill? ❞ ❝ you were born into life with a destiny. you cannot run away from that. ❞ ❝ you carry a smouldering darkness inside you. ❞ ❝ it’s considered impolite not to give your all in a fight. ❞ ❝ at dusk and dawn...it’s easy for all sorts of things to sneak by. ❞ ❝ since that day, so much has changed for me. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. it’s been hard, huh? ❞ ❝ a true hero must shoulder a heavy responsibility. ❞ ❝ stay calm. move cautiously and remain vigilant. ❞ ❝ one more time. try telling the truth. ❞ ❝ why keep fighting until you’re just a broken wreck? ❞ ❝ if we start a fight, we must be ready to hit back. ❞ ❝ in the end, it’s easier just to be selfish. ❞ ❝ i was lost without you. i was lonely. ❞ ❝ why do i so often taste this sense of loss? ❞ ❝ i think both our journeys are pointing to the same place. ❞ ❝ power does not inhabit a blade without bravery. ❞ ❝ did you hear something? like the cry of a beast... ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? if you’re too weak, then just leave. ❞ ❝ what is strength? is it displays of power mocking the weak? destroying beauty simply to satisfy your greed? ❞ ❝ you get too worked up over things. ❞ ❝ easy for you to say. i’m the one getting beat up. ❞ ❝ i don’t need thanks. i didn’t do it for you. ❞ ❝ depending on your attitude...i might be able to help. ❞ ❝ if you don’t do as i say, i’ll take your arm off. ❞ ❝ as leader, i will not choose the path of pain and death for my people. i must protect them. ❞ ❝ strength isn’t about power...it’s about being brave. ❞ ❝ you have good eyes. the eyes of a proud beast. ❞ ❝ if the need arises, i will not hesitate to pick up a sword and fight. ❞ ❝ i guessed you had a secret past.   people can try to hide it, but nature shows through. ❞ ❝ i was lying when i said i’d never held a sword.❞ ❝ there’s no time for sentimentality. ❞ ❝ if someone comes in who knows about your past, i’ll protect you if they try to hurt you. ❞ ❝ is there something strange about me? ❞ ❝ be careful...there have been monsters around here lately. ❞ ❝ choose...surrender or die. ❞ ❝ when i feel uneasy or afraid i just think: ‘this is my mission’. ❞ ❝ don’t take me for nothing more than a fine doll good only for decoration. ❞ ❝ i’m nothing more than dirt. i’m not worth all that effort. ❞ ❝ why do you think we’re any safer here? ❞ ❝ don’t die on me now. ❞ ❝ ha! even you have a good idea sometimes. ❞ ❝ i fought through all kinds of monsters to get here...and i survived. ❞ ❝ i’ve spent so long looking for you! i’m so glad you’re safe. ❞ ❝ people are always hovering over me...and it’s so suffocating! ❞ ❝ some detours lead to unexpected good luck. ❞ ❝ you say whatever you think...i’ve never done that. ❞ ❝ there is no greater joy than helping a friend. ❞ ❝ what do you mean ‘never mind’? ❞ ❝ these days such peaceful travels are rare indeed. ❞ ❝ wildly rushing into danger isn’t courage. ❞ ❝ didn’t you say there’s something you need to do, no matter what it takes? ❞ ❝ i sense unprecedented danger approaching. ❞ ❝ how do you feel now, looking back upon yourself at that time? ❞ ❝ as usual, you’re a wimp. ❞ ❝ resentment is dangerous. it comes in through the slightest crack in your heart. ❞ ❝ i’d go to the ends of the earth for you. ❞ ❝ it really hasn’t been that long, but you’ve grown into a fine man. ❞ ❝ now is the time for us to take back all that was stolen. ❞ ❝ one thing’s certain --- those aren’t human. ❞ ❝ what do you fight to protect? answer. ❞ ❝ i wish you wouldn’t do such dangerous things. ❞ ❝ if you got hurt due to my mistakes...i don’t think i could live with that. ❞ ❝ why would you do all that...when we’ve only just met? ❞ ❝ it’s a pretty name. perfect for you. ❞ ❝ once your wounds heal, you’ll need to leave right away. ❞ ❝ the hero on his knees! quite a sight. ❞ ❝ how does it feel to be so strong? quite a rush, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ you’re all puffed up on your own arrogance...drunk on your own pride. ❞ ❝ i once wondered how good you are...now i see you’re really skilled. ❞ ❝ i’m not physically strong like you...but my wits, brains and analysis can be helpful. ❞ ❝ don’t say you can’t accept that this is the end. ❞ ❝ you just want to satisfy your own ambition and lust for power. ❞ ❝ it’ll be all right because we’re together. ❞ ❝ why would you leave me at a time like this? ❞ ❝ for the first time i feel like i’m overflowing with incredible power. ❞ ❝ there’s no time for doubt. you are the chosen one. ❞ ❝ your problem is that you demand absolute perfection. ❞ ❝ there is no easy path. but you can definitely overcome it. ❞ ❝ i’m so very sorry. i broke my promise. i hurt you. ❞ ❝ that’s the spirit. hate me more. only then will this fight be worthwhile. ❞ ❝ i thought you were dead. ❞ ❝ well...? say something. or has my beauty left you speechless? ❞ ❝ i never forgot you. not for one moment. ❞ ❝ sorry for killing the mood. ❞ ❝ light and shadow are two sides of the same coin. one cannot exist without the other. ❞ ❝ if you desire something...then that is my desire too. ❞ ❝ who says i’m afraid of you? ❞ ❝ your weapon is little better than a toy. ❞ ❝ all that awaits you is despair. ❞ ❝ i’ve done the unforgivable. i betrayed you. ❞ ❝ i’m here to repay you for what you’ve done. ❞ ❝ since i’ve met you, we’ve travelled a long way...and a lot has happened. ❞ ❝ are you on a journey of self-discovery? ❞ ❝ that was a great strike. if i was a hair slower, you’d have gutted me. ❞ ❝ when i was young, i wanted to be a hero. ❞ ❝ your struggle is futile. ❞ ❝ as you can see, i know how to fight. ❞ ❝ my hatred toward you will not be satisfied by merely killing you once or twice. ❞ ❝ you’ve been through a lot. ❞ ❝ whose side are you on? light or shadow? ❞ ❝ if you run then we’re done for! fight to survive! ❞ ❝ i’m not strong enough. not good enough. ❞ ❝ i must crush your bones, rip out your organs and relish your lingering cries of pain. ❞ ❝ that was close, huh? ❞ ❝ rest now. you don’t have to fight any more. ❞ ❝ i bear this sword so i can protect my home in times like this. ❞

[itgetzweird08]

Stuck.

Katsuki Bakugo x Gender Neutral!Reader Angst Hcs

A fic based on July by Noah Cyrus (I am so NOT sorry for this :)

Warnings: Nothing major, just mentions of drinking, implied cheating, and heavy language. Also general angst

A/N: I know a lot of y'all want the next part of Endevour's Secret Daughter and The Spark That Lit His Fuse. I'm working on it I swear, just got a little writer's block. But I promise I'll get it done soon! For now, enjoy this sob fest :))

I've been holding my breath

I've been counting to ten

Over something you said 

The stress of growing as a hero was heavy, of course, you knew, but recently Bakugo seemed to be taking it out on you. When there was a bad mission, he would come home with a hard slam of the door, sparing you nothing but a hard glare. He would push you off and away when you would offer comfort, and when you tried to suggest he take a breath, he raised his voice to you.

“Can you get fuckin lost? Hell, I wish you would stop being so fucking annoying!”

I've been holding back tears

While you're throwing back beers

I'm alone in bed

This wasn’t a once-off either, as now it seemed like he would snap every time you would look at him. You felt like you had to hold your breath every time you were around him. But now, it seemed like everything was only getting worse. At least for a while, he would still come home, but now there were nights where you laid in the cold bed alone for hours until he would come back smelling like sweat and beer... and perfume.

You know I, I'm afraid of change

Guess that's why we stay the same

You knew you could leave, you knew you should. But fuck- something in you just couldn’t handle the thought of losing him. You had been together for so long, you liked the consistency of your relationship. And you didn’t want to feel as if you were giving up. You never gave up. To you, this was all just a hard challenge that you would overcome eventually. This hard roadblock would pass…wouldn’t it?

So tell me to leave

I'll pack my bags, get on the road

If he told you to leave, you would. But you wouldn’t be able to just give up on your own, not while you still felt some semblance of hope that your relationship could survive this.

Find someone that loves you

Better than I do, darling, I know

You wouldn’t be mad if he did decide to leave. Maybe he was right, maybe you weren’t cut out to be the partner of the number two hero. You were quirkless, and went to school for art. You knew nothing about having a special ability or hero work for that matter. Maybe he needed someone who did understand. 

'Cause you remind me every day

I'm not enough, but I still stay 

“What the hell do you know? You’re quirkless, you’re nothing. You’ll never be able to understand what I’m going through.”

Feels like a lifetime

Just trying to get by while we're dying inside

Six months…you’ve been stuck like this with Bakugo for six months. Nothing has gotten better. The small spark of hope you had for the relationship was slowly fizzling out. Now every bit of this relationship felt like torture. And yet you didn’t go anywhere.

I've done a lot of things wrong

Loving you being one

But I can't move on

You knew there were probably plenty of people in this world for you. But none of them were Katsuki. Maybe falling for him was a mistake. Everyone had warned you whenever news got out that you were dating him. Even his own friends, while teasing, dropped subtle hints.

‘I’m surprised anyone could stand him’

‘I can’t believe he found someone he’s considered worthy’

‘Thanks for putting up with him, I know he can be..a lot’ 

No matter what they said, you didn’t listen. You could never regret loving Katsuki.

So tell me to leave

I'll pack my bags, get on the road

“You’re too much of a distraction. You’re only holding me back.”

“What are you saying, Kats?”

“...I’m done, Y/N. I need to focus on being number one, not on being your boyfriend.”

Find someone that loves you

Better than I do, darling, I know

‘Dynamite and Uravity, Japan’s new IT Couple’

'Cause you remind me every day

I'm not enough, but I still stay

[agi-ppangx]

💭childhood friends to lovers (100 followers special)

chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin

“some things never change, huh?” you heard jeongin’s voice coming from the porch. you looked up to see him approaching you, the sun beginning to set in the background. 

jeongin and you were inseparable for as long as you could remember. he lived across the street and you always spent time together thanks to your parents being really good friends. you played almost every day, hanging out in your backyard or in his house, never getting tired of each other. as children, you knew all your secrets and fears, you trusted each other with your lives and swore you were never going to grow apart. 

but time verified your friendship and you failed to maintain such a tight bond. you didn’t have any arguments, you just simply started to drift apart in high school. jeongin started to spend less and less time with you, too caught up with his new friends. you tried to fight for your friendship, you believed that not everything was lost, but every time you wanted to talk to him, he would brush you off and leave without a word. and even though you weren’t as close as before anymore, one day you noticed you were staring a bit too much at jeongin, admiring him from afar. he always seemed so happy with his group of friends, hanging out with them every day after school and attending parties with them. and even if you tried to be happy for him you couldn’t stop the jealousy spreading through your body. because you were supposed to do these things with him, you were supposed to stay friends. maybe even more than friends, you thought to yourself one day. but then you completely parted ways, going to college and having absolutely no clue what was going on with each other.

until now. your parents decided to invite jeongin's family for dinner, since they haven't properly talked with his parents in years. with that, they thought that it would be a great idea for you and jeongin to reconnect and spend some time together, just like you used to as kids.

"you still use the same swing," jeongin continued, sitting next to you on the swing set. you looked at him, kind of confused and he clarified. "you always used the one on the left. you claimed it can go higher." you scoffed at his words. “because it does go higher,” you giggled and so did jeongin. then the silence settled between you two and you just sat there, trying to gather thoughts and actually start a proper conversation. you wanted to ask him so many things - what do you major in at college? are you dating anyone? why did you move away from me without a word? 

“how have you been lately?” it was jeongin who broke the silence first, not looking at you. his voice was faint, almost unsure, as if he was afraid. you thought about your response for a moment and then spoke softly, “i’m fine, just kind of tired of everything.” jeongin nodded, as if he was trying to say me too. “i missed you,” he then whispered and it made you finally look up at him. the air between you got thicker, your heart was racing and you didn’t know if you were mad at him or relieved that he missed you just as you missed him. “then why didn’t you call me? or message me? you could’ve done anything, i don’t understand why you didn’t,” you said eventually, too tired to even try to lie and tell him “oh i missed you too, we should totally forget about all those years we didn’t spend together and catch up”. you needed some kind of explanation. jeongin sighed loudly at your words. “i- i don’t know… i guess i was afraid?” he responded, though it sounded more like a question rather than a statement. “afraid of what?” you asked, trying to get him speaking. he started this whole i missed you conversation and now he needed to tell you everything if he wanted to restore your relationship.

jeongin was silent, he didn’t respond to your question and you started to grow impatient. “i know that… when people grow up they tend to part their ways, it’s normal and it happened to us. what i didn’t like is that you suddenly started treating me like air when i tried to talk to you and now you come back and say you missed me,” you hissed through clenched teeth and got up from the swing. “well, guess what, i missed you too, but i actually made an effort to save this friendship while you decided to completely ignore me,” you continued and felt jeongin’s fingers wrap around your wrist. “yn, i-” “i just think it’s unfair, because you come here from nowhere, saying you missed me, when it’s me who sent you birthday wishes every year, it's me who left all those christmas gifts for you in your parents’ house and it’s me who offered meeting up a few times and all those times you ignored me, you never responded, you never said a stupid thank you, you just left me and the worst thing is that i still like you and i still want to be with you and-” you stopped, suddenly aware that you may have confessed a bit too much. you felt your cheeks grow warmer and the tears started to wail in your eyes. you desperately tried to blink them away, not wanting jeongin to see you crying, but he already got up and stood right in front of you. he wiped the single tear from your face that managed to fall down and hugged you tightly. you wanted to escape his embrace at first, but then you simply gave up and let yourself cry into his chest. you wanted to remember this moment, in case you ruined everything and your friendship was lost. 

“i’m really sorry,” jeongin whispered into your hair. “i was acting like an asshole, i- i was so scared to admit that you’re more than a friend to me that i decided to push you away. and i know it's a shitty explanation and i understand if you don’t forgive me, but i’m genuinely sorry for my behaviour,” he continued, his voice unstable. you pulled away a bit to look him in the eyes. more than a friend? “you did act like an asshole, i must admit,” you started slowly, wiping your eyes. “and it hurt me, it still hurts, but… i wanna give you a chance, because i like you a bit too much and- and i’m just tired of this whole situation,” you mumbled and hugged him again to hide your rosy cheeks. jeongin started gently stroking your head, rocking you side to side. “i’ve never purposefully meant to hurt you but i know i have and i want you to know i’ll do anything to atone for my actions.” you giggled at his serious tone and pulled away once again. “anything?” you asked him, your gaze wandered between his eyes and his lips. “anything.” “then kiss me,” you whispered, leaning closer and closer to him with every passing second. “with pleasure,” he responded and captured your lips in a soft kiss. not everything was said and you both knew you were in for a serious conversation, but in that moment your heart was finally full after so many years of longing and you thought that it was more than enough for then. 

feedback and reblogs highly appreciated🫶🏽

[ironbabey]

July

Peter Parker x Reader

angst, maybe fluff?

Word Count: 1k

Inspired by the song July by Noah Cyrus

~~~~~~~~

I've been holding my breath, I've been counting to ten, over something you said

“So uh, what do ya say? Wanna give it a shot?” Please say yes please say yes please say yes-

“I’m sorry, I really am, but I’m gonna have to say no.”

No. He said no.

It took you months to work up the courage to finally tell him how you felt, ironically you told yourself the worst he could say was no. Fuck, it hurt.

You were crushed. “Oh uh, that's okay. We can just stay friends.” It’s not okay, you don’t want to be friends. Well, you do. You also wanted-no, hoped- for something more.

He smiled, god you loved that smile. It never failed to make your heart skip a beat, even breaking it at the same time.  “Glad this won’t change our friendship. I care about you a lot.” He says, you can hear the pity in his voice.

He cared, just not in the way you wanted.

I've been holding back tears, while you're throwing back beers, I'm alone in bed

You were always told rejection hurt but you didn’t think it’d be this painful. Peter went out while you were sulking in your bed. There’s more fish in the sea, right? You shouldn’t have fallen for him, everyone told you not to, and yet here you are.

How could you be so stupid?

Of course he didn’t like you.

You were nothing compared to her.

You didn't have the perfect teeth, the perfect hair, the perfect skin, the perfect...anything. You were just you.

You stupidly thought that it would be enough for him, she didn't even remember him, but you made new memories with him.

You know I, I'm afraid of change. Guess that's why we stay the same

You two were fighting now. It's your fault anyways. You lashed out on him just because he hadn’t reached out to you since that day. He's ignored your texts, calls, hell you even tried an email for the fun of it. He stilled ignored you.

The day you confessed really fucked things up.

You decided to be the bigger person and show up at his door. He would've known you were going over if he read your messages.

“I thought we agreed that wouldn’t change us. You said you wanted to be friends so why are you being such a dick?”

 “I’m being a dick? Oh, that’s real funny coming from you. I have a life full of other people, not just you. I don’t see why I have to be the one to do everything.”

You bit your lip and looked at the ground, embarrassed that you were acting childish, “No, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

So, tell me to leave, I'll pack my bags, get on the road

Peter let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair, the soft hair you used to play with during the times you'd study together. “I think you should go. I can’t handle this—you—right now.”

You refused to cry in front of him. “Yeah, okay.” You grabbed your bag and slammed the door shut on your way out. You fucked everything up, didn’t you?

Find someone that loves you better than I do, darling, I know

A week went by, and he finally texted you, asking you to go over and talk it out. In the end you were still his best friend, and he didn't want to lose you.

You picked up a photo that was in a beautiful golden frame on the coffee table, you knew who the woman was, Peter talked about her all the time, and it killed you. You thought he was over her.

 “What are you doing with that?” He grabbed the framed photo from your hands as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

You blinked back the tears that were threatening to come out, “It was just sitting here, she’s pretty. Really pretty.”

Peter smiled, “Yeah, she was. The greatest too.”

‘Cause you remind me everyday, I’m not enough but I still stay

You two sat in uncomfortable silence. He wanted to make up, wanted things to be normal again, but you had other plans. You wanted answers. “What does she have that I don’t? What’s so different?”

He groaned. “Please, don’t start this right now.”

You stood up from the couch, “No! I want to know why you’re after someone who moved on. Someone who doesn't even rem-“

“She was the only one there for me through all of it! She helped me from beginning to end! I ruined everything just to make sure she got into the school she worked so hard for!" His voice went soft, he couldn't hold back the tears that went streaming down his face. His brown eyes were hardly visible through them, "She was all I had. She was the only girl that ever looked my way and actually liked me.”

Then what am I?

I've done a lot of things wrong, Loving you being one. But I can't move on

“What?”

“Then what am I?”, you repeated deep down you knew you were being a little selfish, but he had no right to say you didn't care, “I’ve been there for you. I’ve laughed with you, cried with you, I even fought with you and you’re still tossing me aside?”

“Listen-“

“No! You listen to me! I’ve done nothing but love and care about you but clearly that’s not enough! Nothing is ever enough for you! I-I’m not enough.”

Peter stood to hug you. To tell you that you was more than enough. To tell you he was just afraid of being more than what you were now.

If you want me to leave, then tell me to leave, and baby, I'll go

You moved away from his attempted hug. How dare he cry when it was him who was hurting you? “N-No, you don’t get-get to cry.” you choked out through your own tears.

“I’m sorry please just understand.” He begged.

“Tell me to leave. Tell me you don't want to see me again and I’ll stop. I’ll leave you alone just like you want.” That’s not what he wanted, not at all. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if you left him too.

“That’s not-I want you to stay.”

You remind me every day, I'm not enough, but I still stay

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

[andrewmoocow]

Meanwhile, in a parallel universe....

L-48: What are you doing?!

Galindorion Pax: It's over, L. Everyone in Emeracon knows the truth.

L-48: So do I! He took everything from us! I have to do this!

Galindorion: No, you don't. Rebuilding Emeracon cannot begin with an execution.

L-48: He deserves to die! Can't you see that?!

Galindorion: We're better than this. Don't be like Wiztinel.

L-48: (angered once more by Galindorion's insensitivity) Galinda, you need to move out of the way before I move you myself.

Galindorion: Elphie, please. (L-48 shoves Galindorion out of the way and prepares to kill Wiztinel once and for all, but Galinda takes the bullet and L-48's fusion cannon wipes out her right half. She nearly falls off the edge into the abyss before L-48 saves her)

L-48: (horrified over what she's done) No! No, no, no, no... why?! WHY did you do that?! WHY?! (starts hyperventilating as something changes within her, and Galindorion tries to stop her dear friend from what she's about to do)

Galindorion: Elphie, no.....

(L-48 stops hyperventilating as she looks down. Then she glares straight at Galindorion with piercing red eyes)

Wickedtron: I'M DONE SAVING YOU.

--

(meanwhile, in another parallel universe)

Optimus: D-16, why couldn’t you have stayed calm so we could resolve this peacefully, Instead of becoming just like Sentinel?! I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re happy now, I hope you’re happy that you’ve broken our bond forever, I hope you think you’re clever.

Megatron: I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re happy how you Would rather become the system, Instead of fighting for the victims.

Optimus/Megatron: So though I can’t imagine how, I hope you’re happy right now!

Optimus: We could’ve built the future together, D.

Optimus: You could still change Cybertron. What you’ve wanted for so long. You could have all you ever wanted.

Megatron: I know, Pax, but I don’t want it. No, I can’t want it anymore.

Something has changed within me, Something is not the same. I’m through with everyone deceiving me, Now I am the one who will run this game! Too late for second guessing, Too late to go to sleep. It’s time to trust my spark, Close my optics and leap!

It’s time to try defying gravity, I think I’ll try defying gravity, And you can’t bring me down!

Optimus: Can’t I make you understand That you’re having delusions of grandeur?

Megatron: I’m through accepting limits, Just because someone says they’re so! There might be some things I cannot change, ’Til I try, I’ll never know!

Too long, I’ve been afraid of, Losing love, but I guess I’ve lost. If that is what you call love, It comes at too high of a cost!

I’d sooner buy defying gravity, Kiss me goodbye, I’m defying gravity! And no one can bring me down!

Megatron: Orion, come with me. Think of what we could do together!

Megatron: Unlimited. Together, we’re unlimited. Together, we’ll be the greatest team Cybertron has ever seen. Orion, dreams the way we planned them.

Optimus: If the two of us worked in tandem.

Optimus/Megatron: There’s no fight we cannot win, Just you and I, defying gravity! With you and I defying gravity!

Megatron: They will never bring us down!

Megatron: Well, are you coming, Pax?

Optimus: I hope you’re happy, Now that you are choosing this.

Megatron: You too. I hope this brings you bliss.

Optimus/Megatron: I really hope you get it, And you don’t live to regret it. I hope you’re happy in the end, I hope you’re happy, my friend.

Megatron: So if you care to find me, Look to Cybertron’s sky! As a certain someone once told me, “Everyone deserves the chance to fly!” I will build our future myself, After I tear down everyone in my way! To everyone who oppressed me, This is my message today!

I’ll tell them how I’m defying gravity, I shall rise up, defying gravity! And soon, I’ll match Megatronus in renown! And nobody on Cybertron, No Prime that ever is or was, Is ever going to bring, me, DOOOOOOWN!!!

Optimus: I hope you’re happy!

Decepticons: Praise be to Decepticon! All hail our emperor, Megatron!

Megatron: Bring me down!

Autobots: We’ll wage our battles till all are one! To bring those Decepticons-

Megatron: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!

Autobots: DOWN!

[kywaslost]

Hello!

Can I pls rq a platonic aizawa x student reader where he's noticed that you've been acting differently as of late. You're much more aggressive, rude, tired, glaring at everyone, etc.

So on day he tells you to stay after class. So you do.

He immediately asks you "what happened to you? What happened? Bc this isn't you." And you just glared up at him and said "what would you know abt me?"

What Happened? - Aizawa Shouta

A/N: Hi! I hope this turned out ok. Should I make a part 2?

Maybe he hadn’t been paying close enough attention, or maybe the change was so sudden there was nothing he could have noticed. He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t approve of this new you. You were one of the best-behaving students in his class, or, at least you used to be. You were quiet when you needed to be, but talkative when you were allowed to. You made good grades and got along with everyone, even if you didn’t quite like them.

But things had changed. You weren’t this perfect student anymore. You were really quiet now, but you got very angry very quickly when provoked. Mineta had gotten on your nerves one day and you blew up at him. There was screaming, yelling, and your quirk got a little out of hand for a moment. Aizawa had to use his quirk on you and order you to take a walk to calm down.

Everything you now said to anyone was rude and mean. Enough to the point that your classmates now avoided you at all costs. Even your closest friends didn’t want to be around you. You sat alone during lunch, and no one wanted to spar with you during gym. You looked exhausted all the time, which may explain why you were being so mean. But you always went to bed early, not long after Bakugou would turn in for the night. And you were sleeping in a lot more, too. No one knew what was going on with you.

Eventually Aizawa had had enough and asked you to stay after class one day. You didn’t think anything of it, just assuming that he was asking you to do something for him, or to grade papers for him like you used to do. But when he asked you to sit down, you were afraid of what he was going to say.

“Y/N, I’d like to talk about your change in behavior as of late,” Aizawa began. “You’re not the same person anymore. Can you tell me what happened to cause you to make such a drastic change?”

You only glared in response. “What do you mean?” There was an edge to your tone. “I’m just fine if I do say so myself.”

You thought you were hiding it well, but Aizawa could see right through you. Tears were welling in your eyes, and you were biting your lip ever so slightly. The man sighed sadly and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. His red eyes met your glaring (e/c) ones. “Something’s happened to you,” he said slowly. “I’m guessing it happened over the break we had a few weeks ago. So,” he smiled softly. “What happened?”

You huffed, turning your head to the side. “What would you know about me, Eraser?” you spat harshly. You shoved his hand off of your shoulder, stood, and shouldered your backpack. “You don’t know me, and you don’t know my life. Quit acting like you do.” Storming out into the hall, you slammed the door shut behind you.

This wasn’t like you one bit, and now Aizawa has to find a way to get to you without angering you even more.

[shunin-gumis]

Temptation Towards Apoptosis - Track 11

L4mps 1st Feature Event

This chapter was translated by Aca!

Location:  HAMA Tours - Office

Toi: Chief! Thanks for your hard work!

Chief: Toi-kun, ward 15’s feature tour is finally tomorrow.

Chief: It seems like the final checks are going well. Even though Nayuki practically did all of it… 

Nayuki: It’s fine. However… Manager, you could at least pretend to work instead of just standing around.

Daniel: Nonono, wouldn’t it be bad if I couldn’t log on again like last time? Lemme off the hook with this shoulder massage. 

Chief: You’re the same as ever… So what’s up, Toi-kun?

Toi: Here. I thought I should hand over the weekly report cassette tape before the actual day.

Chief: Thank you. 

Toi: Then, I’m going to go to Nagi’s bouquet-making class now!

Chief: … It’s great that Toi-kun’s feeling better.

Nayuki: I heard that he suffered from hypothermia on the last day of the trip and had to be sent to the hospital… 

Daniel: Yeah, and he got better the very next day, it was like nothin’ ever happened. The doctors were just as surprised as we were. 

Nayuki: I’m glad everything’s alright now. Let’s make sure that tomorrow’s feature tour is as flawless as possible. 

Chief: Right. I’ll be taking a little break now, so maybe I should go listen to Toi-kun’s report.

Location: HAMA Tours -  Rooftop

Chief: (That day… Toi-kun’s report after we found him that day with Ryui-kun all tattered up… I wonder what he recorded.)

Toi: “Um… Firstly, Chief… I’m sorry for the trouble that I have caused.”

Toi: “It’s not just what happened with Ani-sama. I’m sure both you and Yodaka-san were worried, seeing me walk barefoot around the hotel, but you didn’t ask any questions.”

Toi: “Thanks to our conversation. I was able to sort out a little of what was bothering me at the time.”

Toi: “It gave me the courage to say what I couldn’t say to Ani-sama before because of it. Though… I probably should have conveyed it better.”

Chief: (That’s true. It was the first time I’ve seen Toi-kun and Ryui-kun raise their voices at each other like that.)

Chief: (However, it’s not really strange for siblings to fight like that sometimes. Even I have fights with my sibling.)

Toi: “I… I’ve told you before that I was afraid of myself changing.”

Toi: “However, taking Yodaka-san’s advice, Both Ani-sama and I thought about what will happen  in the future if I change.”

Toi: “I’ve come to realize what I truly want. I don’t want Ani-sama to stay by my side, but rather, I want to stay by his side.”

Chief: (…I wonder if it’s related to what happened that day in the blizzard.)

Toi: “It might not seem like much, but it’s a very important difference to me.”

Toi: That’s why I thought it would be nice for everyone to experience a “journey to face one’s self” for this tour. 

Toi: Chief, I’d like you to watch over our hospitality until the very end.

Chief: Toi-kun… It seems like he’s recovered mentally and physically too.

Chief: (I might not know the full details concerning Toi-kun and Ryui-kun’s family circumstances…)

~~~(flashback)

Ryui: …Well, I guess anyone that doesn’t know is better off that way.

Location: HAMA Tours - Rooftop

Chief: (I’m sure keeping us in the dark is their own way of showing their kindness.) 

Chief: (That’s why, when the day they both ask us for help comes, I’ll do my best to support them.) Chief: (I’ll keep supporting them so that they continue to be happy…!)

Location: HAMA House 2nd Floor’s Hallway

Nagi: Oh, Ryui.

Ryui: What d’ya want? We gotta get up early tomorrow, I wanna sleep early.

Nagi: I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your calls.

Ryui: Calls?

Nagi: On that day, You called me too, right? I saw my call history.

Ryui: …

~~~(flashback)

Yodaka: Did anyone manage to get through them?

Chief: No. I’ve been trying to get a hold of them for a while now…!

Nagi: Seems like I can’t reach them either.

Location: HAMA House 2nd Floor Hallway

Nagi: At the time, I thought I couldn’t reach you, but apparently I forgot that I set my phone to airplane mode.

Ryui: …Figured it was somethin’ like that.

Nagi: That’s why I’m sorry.

Nagi: But, thank you for relying on me.

Ryui: …You’re gettin’ the wrong idea. It just happened that your name was on top of the call list.

Nagi: Oh, but Ryui, I think you should apologize to everyone. We were worried because you went on your own without telling anyone where you were going.

Ryui: Well… I was gonna apologize anyways even if you hadn’t said anything.

Nagi: Then… since we’re here, do you want to practice? SorryI’msorryIapologizepleaseforgivemeI’lldoanythingtomakeituptoyouI’llpaywithmylife…

Ryui: Shut the fuck up!!

Location: mahorova Lobby

Hassaku: Now then… It seems like the metaverse is being used as a venue again, similar to the tour in Ward 11 last time.  Hassaku: Last time, it was an escape game, but I wonder what it will be this time…

Yunyun: Oh~? Hey, you’re the gramps who stopped by at our bar during the First Tour, yeah?

Hassaku: Oh? …And you must be?

Yunyun: Just a lil ‘ol employee working at the Ten Nights of Dreams BAR in Ward 17.

Hassaku: I see. You remembered my face. How impressive of you. 

Yunyun: It’s the least I can do~ Thank you for your continuous patronage. 

Yunyun: Takin’ part in the tour? Come by HAMA often, gramps? 

Hassaku: *coughs* Well, it is for work after all.

Chief: The entrance to “A Night Spent in a Custom Cocoon Hut Tour” by HAMA Tours is right over here!

Daniel: The temperature in the tour area has been lowered, so please make sure to give your avatars something warm to wear beforehand.

Yunyun: Oh, looks like Hiroshi’s doin’ his job for once.  Hassaku: Very well, shall we go have a look?

Event Masterpost

Next Track

[mylovesstuffs]

Namjoon version !

series masterlist

This is my personal opinion and perspective. It may not accurately reflect their real-life personalities or behaviors.

Namjoon is completely oblivious at first (😩). He’s always been incredibly kind and supportive, but he never really considered that you might see him as anything other than a friend. After all, he’s your big brother figure, right? He doesn’t want to think there’s something more, so it stays out of his mind.

However, as time goes on, little things start to bother him. Like the way your guy best friend’s name lights up on your phone when he walks into the room, or how you giggle when he sends you a message. Namjoon doesn't want to admit it, but something about that jealousy stirs deep within him.

When you mention your guy best friend’s new plans or funny stories, he forces a smile, but his eyes betray him. He’s just… hurt, and he doesn’t understand why.

His entire mood changes when he notices that you’re canceling plans with him to hang out with your best friend. He had plans for the two of you, but you’d rather spend time with him. At first, it’s subtle; he brushes it off, telling himself it’s fine. But the more you prioritize him, the more frustrated he becomes.

Namjoon doesn't want to show his jealousy, but it starts leaking out. Little remarks like, “I guess I’m just not important enough for you today?” escape without him realizing. And when you don’t pick up on them, he feels embarrassed, but also frustrated 😭

The turning point comes when you completely ignore his messages to spend time with your best friend.

Joon feels like his world has tilted. That familiar hurt in his chest deepens, and he decides to confront it the only way he knows how—by pushing you away.

When he sees you laughing and talking to your guy best friend, he suddenly feels like an outsider. He doesn’t want to interrupt, but he can’t help himself—he has this nagging feeling that something isn't right.

He becomes a bit distant, not because he’s mad at you, but because he doesn’t know how to act around you anymore. His jealousy takes over, and he starts second-guessing every interaction, wondering if you’re thinking of your best friend instead of him.

He gives you space to see if you’ll notice. But when you don’t, it stings. Every part of him wants to confess, but he holds back. What if you only see him as a friend? He can’t bear the idea of losing the friendship over some so stupid like love, so he suffers in silence.

He becomes less talkative. He retreats into his own head, figuring out what he wants to do with his feelings. He doesn’t want to be that guy—the one who gets jealous over something so trivial—but it feels impossible to suppress it.

One day, Namjoon stops texting you altogether. When you finally ask what’s wrong, his response is brief, and the space between you two grows even more noticeable. He can’t handle being close to you when his feelings are All Over The Place.

There are moments when he wants to pull you close, hold you tight, and make you understand how much he cares. But then, he remembers that you see him as just a friend and pulls away, even more confused than before.

As time passes, he starts to act like he’s okay, but deep down, it’s eating away at him. It’s like he’s stuck in this perpetual loop of wanting to get closer but also being afraid of what’ll happen if you don’t feel the same way.

He finally pushes you away—in the most Namjoon way possible. “Maybe we should take a break from hanging out for a bit,” he says, his voice soft but stern. “You should focus on what makes you happy.” Deep down, he’s hoping it’ll either make you realize what he means to you, or it’ll give him the space he needs to sort things out.

When you ask if it’s about your best friend, his answer is surprisingly calm. “I just think it’s better if you do your thing and I do mine for a while. I don’t want to complicate things.”

But in his heart, he’s torn. He wants you to realize what you’re doing, but he can’t bring himself to confess. That fear of being rejected weighs on him, and his mind keeps telling him, you’ll always be just a friend to her, Namjoon.

The closure comes when you finally confront him, telling him how you feel and that you never meant to hurt him. It’s like a weight is lifted off his shoulders. He smiles softly, admitting that he was jealous and that he’s been holding back his feelings. The moment he finally confesses, he lets out a sigh of relief. "I’ve always cared about you more than just a friend," he admits quietly. And just like that, everything changes.

The moment you reciprocate his feelings, Namjoon lets out the biggest, most genuine smile you’ve ever seen. His dimples make an appearance, and his eyes crinkle in a way that makes you feel the feels.

He’s immediately apologetic for being distant before. “I should’ve just told you,” he says, ruffling the back of his hair. “I wasted so much time being in my head.” You assure him it’s okay, and he just looks at you with so much warmth it’s almost overwhelming. (HE'S THE SWEETEST BOYFRIEND!!)

Namjoon’s love language? Acts of service and words of affirmation, without a doubt. From the moment you start dating, he’s constantly making little gestures to show his love—

He starts sending you sweet, heartfelt texts randomly throughout the day. They’re simple, but they make your heart flutter every single time.

He gets ridiculously shy whenever you compliment him. Call him handsome, and he’ll duck his head, trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

Namjoon starts bringing you into his creative process, asking for your opinions on lyrics or showing you drafts of songs he’s working on. He loves seeing your eyes light up when you hear something you like.

The books? Oh, they’re endless. He starts gifting you novels that remind him of you, with little notes scribbled on the inside covers. He also gets ridiculously excited when you borrow his books and return them with your thoughts written in the margins.

He treasures your guy best friend but teases you endlessly about it now. “Guess I should thank him,” he jokes, “or else I wouldn’t have realized how much I love you.” He’s genuinely thankful there’s no awkwardness between the three of you anymore.

Namjoon loves quiet moments with you. Whether it’s sitting on a park bench, or just lying in bed talking about life, he thrives in the simplicity of just being with you.

He starts writing poetry about you. He doesn’t tell you at first, but you catch a glimpse of his notebook one day and see lines like, “Her laughter feels like sunlight cutting through clouds.” When you confront him about it, he just shrugs and smiles.

Joon’s hugs become your safe space. They’re warm, grounding, and full of love. He always holds you just a little longer than necessary, as if he’s afraid to let go.

The way he says “I love you” is so casual yet meaningful. He’ll slip it in during the most mundane moments, like when you’re picking out snacks at the store or tying your shoes. And every time, it leaves you completely flustered.

He often gets lost in thought while looking at you, his eyes soft and full of adoration.

Namjoon calls you his safe haven. After long days, he always finds comfort in your presence, and he’s not shy about letting you know about it.

He never stops being amazed by the fact that you chose him. Every day, he works to show you how grateful he is, whether it’s with big romantic gestures or small, quiet moments of love.

[batgirlsay]

Fallen Threads Across the Dancefloor

An Obiyuki Week 2024 Playlist for Day 7: West Coast Swing (Free Day) by @snowwhite-andtheknight

Been waiting to use these songs for over a year after remembering some perfect Postal Service songs and discovering some new Beths songs! The playlist started out with a “Red String of Fate” theme, but it also works for this swinging friends-to-lovers theme. There’s even kinda a swing beat in the title lyric track “Our Braided Lives” and maybe a few more. I actually used to swing dance for fun and I’m glad West Coast Swing was added to the prompt list, it’s perfect for Obiyuki!

Took a while to figure out a good order for this playlist without putting two songs by the same band next to each other… ended up starting with a night out and the consequences (and feelings) that ensued… ending in Obi style with his overwhelming doubts.

Fallen Threads Across the Dancefloor

A Tattered Line of String- The Postal Service Untangled Love- Brandon Flowers Our Braided Lives- Matt Pond PA Brand New Colony- The Postal Service Jump Rope Gazers- The Beths Sugar River- Matt Pond PA Just Shy of Sure- The Beths Glory of the Snow- Clairo Unraveling- Violents and Monica Martin Keep The Distance (Demo)- The Beths

Summary lyrics are cited after the cut (and bonus feels Obi):

A Tattered Line of String- The Postal Service

You've got a tattered line of string And you tied 'round everything That you want to call your own But it never seems to hold

When we walk, we agreed That we would not ever speak of of this night to anyone that we both knew

Then you said "Every time we kissed I felt something that couldn't exist"

Untangled Love- Brandon Flowers

Well let's say that now's the time to start Blessed all, the young at heart

I've been looking for untangled love But it's hard to get a handle on I always hoped I'd see the light Break the bad luck in my life

It's been twenty-one years since I left home I've been looking for a place to call my own I see the silver lining shining like polished gold

Untangled love I can see it in your eyes Untangled love You took me by surprise

Our Braided Lives- Matt Pond PA

Our braided lives At times I'm tied Fallen threads across The bedroom floor

Will this not end? Will this star claim us all?

The space between Our wandering hands I might not have to be Alone anymore The night could end The dark could leave us all

Far below the glowing Ceiling sky The night will end The dark will leave The time begins For us to see it all

Brand New Colony- The Postal Service

I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back As you're lying there, drifting off to sleep

I'll be the platform shoes, undo what heredity's done to you You won't have to strain to look into my eyes

I'll be your winter coat, buttoned and zipped straight to the throat With the collar up, so you won't catch a cold

Start a brand new colony Where everything will change We'll give ourselves new names, identities erased The sun will heat the grounds Under our bare feet in this brand new colony

Jump Rope Gazers- The Beths

I've never been the dramatic type But if I don't see your face tonight I, well I guess I'll be fine

Decipher the signs Like we're slowly coming together Yeah it's slowly coming out about us

Oh I, I think I love you And I think that I loved you the whole time

How could this happen We were jump rope gazers in the middle of the night Hide my heart behind a brighter light So you struggle straining eyes to find Why we made it this way

My hopes are prone to elevate But the way your mind and mine relate It breaks the patterns we make

I was just waiting for the grazes on my hands to mend I was afraid of the sting

And I wanna give it my best try How could this happen We were jump rope gazers

Sugar River- Matt Pond PA

Hollow hearts don't know their wrong from right The world we're waiting for won't disappear The world we're waiting for is all right here

Along the river bank the root stays strong Heart of hearts you know there's nothing wrong

The world we're waiting for will shake our dreams Move them through the dark and down the street

Reaching and rallying they merge every time Our ties become part of the way we survive To stare down the shadows Made up in the hollows We're safe in these seconds There's proof in your eyes

Sugar river rolling through the night Rushing under the midnight sky

Just Shy of Sure- The Beths

Love in memory Was a plague that consumed me Shifted all my priorities

I have kept the hurt buried deep into winter dirt I watch at night when the mound stirs This is not the burn I've known It's an ache in my every bone Maybe you want to be alone

When do things suffice? Can you be happy all your life? Do you think it can happen twice? Maybe that's a swing Hey, you can't win without entering Are you cool to lose everything?

Weak, but I'll pretend That you still want me I'm the one you adore But I'm just shy of sure

Glory of the Snow- Clairo

I can feel there's something in the between For a moment, I heard you talking to me

I pull on the string that binds me To memories of the way I loved you I push on the door, the one I've ignored The one that leads me to you

Glory of the snow I'm waking up and now I know

I can see there's someone looking for me For a moment, I heard the rustling lеaves

Sweeping under rugs, the one I was not gonna Gonna dance on again

Unraveling- Violents and Monica Martin

Wide-eyed wonder, where did you go? Pagan cynic, constant critic, friend to a foe I'm unraveling

I much prefer you the way that I found you And I hate who I am when I am around you But you're far away and I need you close to me A sad simple truth that's lost in the irony

Keep The Distance (Demo)- The Beths

We kept the distance Kept it at no one’s insistence Pushing against no resistance but ourselves It’s not complicated Lovers get humiliated I wanted you but couldn’t say it out loud

There's a hole in my memory It's widening with each new entry Blooming like a flower when everything falls through Each death and redemption Each second of increasing tension Every ounce of pure prevention we hеld to

If you’re heading out then I insist you make a move But if it’s not the moment Then bottle up the breath I’m holding Sorry to my serotonin Some bad news

We’re caught, torn in the fabric Enthrallеd, drawn like a magnet But we keep the distance Just an attempt to get by

[changingplumbob]

New Goth: Chapter 4, Part 6

James practices his dad skills with some uncle time.

CW: Low Level sim spice. Content Warning Guide

To wind down from the social worker interview James decides to see if any of the fishing crew are free for the afternoon. He looks in the lake opposite his house while he waits for them to show up. Nothing too tricky in there, maybe he could catch something for Alexander to cook.

Harvey: Adoption eh

James: Yeah. Ophelia and I didn’t have kids but, I want to leave behind someone I’ve raised

Harvey: I can get that. I’m the same, keep hoping mine will announce impending grandfather-hood

James: The young do things in their own time

Harvey: I guess, when I think of being in my twenties it feels like lifetimes ago

James: I know what you mean

James: Where is your son anyway

Harvey: He said something about needing the internet. I thought the internet was what we had on our phones

James: No I think that’s wifi

Bob: That’s data actually

James: *sighs* I don’t know, technology keeps changing. Now fishing, that’s something that has remained the same

The group murmur in agreement as they enjoy the moment of peace.

James: Hello girls

Savannah: Good afternoon Uncle James

Mercedes: Hi Uncle James

James: What are you two doing here

Savannah: Papa had to go into the lab today for work so mama told us to get the bus here after school

Mercedes: She doesn’t think we’re old enough to look after Viola and nana says the three of us are a handful for her

James: I’m afraid I agree with your mama, come on in

Savannah: I’m going to go find Milton. Try and show him a proper doll story

James: How about you Mercedes? You like math right? Care to play some chess

While James and Mercedes face off on the chess board Savannah and Milton play with the dollhouse.

Savannah: I didn’t realise you can wear bear suits to your school

Milton: I can wear whatever

Savannah: I wish that was us

Mercedes: Having unicorns (uniforms) can be fun

James: And why is that

Mercedes: *grins mischievously* The teachers have trouble telling us apart

James: Fancy that

Savannah: Well our main teacher can tell but not the other ones

Rahul swings by to pick the twins up as Alexander gets home and heads for the kitchen. He’s considering what to cook when Milton comes to find him.

Milton: Can I help with dinner

Alexander: Sure. I just need to figure out what to make

James: Make some Poke bowls, I caught some fresh fish today

Alexander: Okay, meal is set. Milton grab the stool so you can reach the counter

Milton drags over the step and is at a proper height to work on the counter. Alexander provides help here and there but since he’s preparing his own ingredients it’s mainly James who makes sure Milton doesn’t get his paws dirty.

James: Mrs Ali said she’ll accompany her here for dinner tomorrow

Milton: Is she trialling us or are we trialling her

Alexander: Both I imagine, sweets?

James: Yes. It’s a chance for us to make sure we don’t clash with her, and it’s a chance for her to meet us before agreeing to stay

Milton: Did the social worker say what she’s like

James: I imagine she’ll keep us on our toes, but she’s not mean, I made sure

Alexander: Why don’t you think about what you want to ask her tomorrow Milton? Then you'll have some stuff prepared

Milton seems pleased at this idea, although it is hard to judge his feelings in the bear suit. Following dinner for humans and cats James makes sure to fit in snuggle time with his furbabies.

After making sure Milton gets to sleep James finds Alexander in their office finishing the day's work column.

Alexander: She’ll keep us on our toes will she

James: Mrs Ali did say she can be competitive for attention, and tricks gullible people, but we can handle that. When I tell you her background you'll understand

Alexander: You have faith in my abilities to handle her?

James: Yes I do. You’re sharp, you’ll see through fictions I imagine, and you’ll have me. If there’s something I can spot it’s a lying teenager

Alexander: I'm finished here so... care to go and pretend we’re still lying teenagers

James: And what would we be lying about

Alexander: My level of experience? And our relationship status

James: *laughs* Do you need me to teach you again

Alexander: What can I say? I’m just a boy in love with my tutor

Yeah... they go woohoo.

With an important dinner coming up Hamlet and Gertrude get some cute new threads. Hamlet opts for a tidy sweater while Gertrude gets a fancy dress that she’s happy to sleep in. Milton pats Hamlet before heading off for school, Alexander assures James he won’t work late and eventually James starts to vacuum the mansion. He wants to make a good impression on Ariadne, can’t have her thinking she’d be living in a pigsty. Or that he would expect her to clean like some sort of Cinderella character.

Of course as a retiree James can spend a large chunk of his day living my dream, snuggling cats. He also likes programming and from chats with Joey feels like he should try to teach himself. There are a few online courses but Joey emailed copies of his old coursework for James to get a ground level understanding of coding. Both cats stay near despite Gertrude being aloof, she’s James companion so she likes to keep an eye on him.

Milton: Hey Uncle James

James: Hey kiddo, how was school

Milton: Not bad. Reynaldo and I discussed voidcritters for most of lunch

James: Do you want to invite him over after school some day

Milton: Maybe. Hey do you know math as well as volcano stuff

James: Of course. What seems to be the problem

Milton: Times tables. I know the tens but my teacher said I need to start on the fives

James: Don’t worry, we can work on it together, we have time before our dinner guests arrive

Previous ... Next

[jiliansky-blog]

Spell of the heart. Chapter 6. Revelations

Pairing: Morpheus x FemaleReader

Rating: PG

Words: 1400

Morpheus

I didn’t want to go on this adventure. I didn’t believe Destruction wanted to be found. But I can’t resist Delirium. And perhaps, I can find Thessaly. And even more, I didn’t want to take the mortal with us. But she indeed was useful and surprisingly a good company. She reminds me Hob. She was full of life and compassion.

“What do you want to talk about?” asked Ishtar.

The woman was beautiful, but sad.

“Did you see my brother?” I asked. “Recently.”

“No,” she said. “If he wants to hide, you won’t find him.”

“But he could tell you something,” I said with disappointment.

“Don’t look at me with such annoyance and arrogance,” she said. “You have never liked women, Dream Lord, haven’t you?”

“That is not your business”, I said.

“But you brought mortals with you,” she said.

“Yes, my sister insists on it,” I replied.

“You despised mortals once,” the goddess said. “What changed?”

“Perhaps I changed,” I said. “She is…different. She sees better in me even when I’m not good to her. And she is a random mortal who just appear in my realm.”

“You did change,” she said. “But I can’t help you.”

“Very well,” I said. “I guess I’ll go now.”

“When the time comes, only love can save you,” she suddenly said in a mysterious way.

“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.

“You will know,” she said, closing her eyes.

“Love only brought me a misery,” I replied, and I left her.

That adventure brought nothing but disappointment. And now I’m going to find Delirium and Y\N. Perhaps, it was the time to go home.

Morpheus appeared very suddenly next to you. He frowned when he saw you next to your room. Perhaps, the conversation with Ishtari didn’t go well.

“What is it?” he asked.

“A room,” you said. “As you mentioned earlier, I need rest. And they didn’t want to give us a room unless we were a couple.”

“So we are in the same room now,” he concluded.

“Yes,” you said. “And Delirium in the room next door.”

“Then I go into her room,” he said.

“She doesn’t want to open the door,” you said. “Are you afraid of staying in one room with me? I don’t bite.”

“I can bite,” he said, and the corners of his lips twitched.

“I’m not afraid, then,” you smirked. “You are like a wild cat that used to be domestic once upon a time. You just forget how to.”

“You analyzed me again,” he said. “Very well.”

“So, what did Ishtari say?” you asked, lying on the only bed. “Does she know where your brother is?”

“No, she doesn’t”, he said, and he sat on the bed next to me. “And I doubt she would tell me, even if she knew.”

“Why is that?” you asked.

“She thinks I’m an arrogant and don’t like women,” he replied.

“And do you?” you asked.

“I thought that I didn’t,” he sighed. “I was always a gentle lover. And I hope for a generous one. Perhaps it is the aftermath that counts.”

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“I could easily lose my feelings,” Morpheus replied. “But I wasn’t cruel.”

“Feelings change,” you admitted. “It’s not a crime to fall out of love.”

“Was I cruel to you?” he asked suddenly.

That caught you out of guard. Perhaps, that goddess told him something about you too.

“No,” you said and he relaxed a bit. “You were…very serious and cold. But I can’t say that you were cruel.”

“I’m sorry then,” he whispered. You hardly heard him.

“That’s alright,” you smiled. “I understood that you didn’t know me and didn’t want someone unknown to roam your world.”

He looked at you with his cosmic eyes and you felt your heart flip. He indeed was very beautiful. And sad.

“I was…unfair to you,” he said. “You are a great listener.”

“I’m flattered,” you smiled.

“Why are you so kind to me?” Morpheus asked.

“I don’t know,” you said. “Perhaps, I saw that you were unhappy and unhappy people want to make other people feel miserable too. But I felt that you deserve kindness.”

“And still you don’t know anything about me,” he sighed.

“It’s never too late to get to know you,” you smiled.

And he almost smiled. Even this hint of a smile changed him. Made him younger and even more handsome. You felt like you are drowning.

“I know that I am no one to you,” you said. “Just a random mortal girl. But I want to help. And I will stay with you till the end of your journey.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “It means a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” you smiled.

He suddenly looked at you like he saw you for the first time. And then suddenly he kissed you. His lips were warm and soft. You were shocked but then kissed him back, felling butterflies in your stomach. You were kissing god of dreams.

When you touched your shoulders, you felt that he was trembling. And you want him to feel safe. “Come on, you should rest a little bit,” you said and pushed him on the bed and lie down near him.

“I don’t need rest,” he replied.

“Technically, yes,” you smiled. “But it seems to me that you are tired. You just need some moment of peace.”

“It’s hardly solve problems,” he said.

“You’re right,” you said. “But it can bring some peace and you can’t solve problems if you are exhausted.”

“Very well,” he said and closed his eyes.

You can look at his long black eyelashes now. And you can touch his raven messy hair. It turned out to be soft.

“What are you doing?” he asked without opening his eyes.

“Petting your hair,” you said. “It should have calming effect.”

“On whom?” Morpheus asked.

“On you,” you smiled. “Does it help?”

“Perhaps,” he replied. “It’s…pleasant.”

“Does anyone touch your hair before?” you asked.

“Not like this,” he said, and almost purred.

He was such a cat at this moment. And this also brings you adoration and butterflies. It seems to you that he was lonely and in need of gentle touch and warmth.

“Do you like it?” you asked.

“You’re tempting your luck,” Morpheus purred.

“Probably,” you giggled. “But do you really like it ?”

“Yes, I do,” he murmured. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” you smiled, touching his soft, silky hair. “Let me guess. You have a reputation to behold”.

“I'm the King of Nightmares,” he said.           

“Yes, very cute King of nightmares,” you said, sleepy without thinking. “Now let’s rest a little bit before the next day.”

He didn’t say anything, and you both fell asleep.

On the next morning, Morpheus was already awake, when you got up. It was still too early. But he decided that it’s time to continue your travel.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked calmly.

Nothing in his behavior tells you about last night, when he was so open and vulnerable.

“Yes,” you smiled. ”And you? Did you rest?”

“I did,” Morpheus replied. “Thank you for…taking care of me.”

“My pleasure,” you smiled.

But our cheerful mood didn’t last long, as soon as we left the club, we found out that it had burned. And Ishtari died.

“That is my fault,” Morpheus said.

“No, I’m sure there is another explanation for this,” you said.

“Destruction doesn’t want to be found out,” he said.

“But how could you know that these things happened?” you asked. “You don’t need to blame yourself…”

“They died because I tried to find him,” he said stubbornly. “We need to stop this quest.”

“But…” Delirium tried to object, but he didn’t listen.

“I go back to my realm, and you should too, sister,” he said.

Delirium got upset. And you didn’t know what to do or say to fix this situation.

“He is upset,” you said to her. “Give him time.”

“I see”, she said, and she disappeared without a trace, and you hurried to Morpheus.

“You upset her,” you noted.

“She easily gets upset,” he replied.

“But you were too harsh to her,” you said. “You could let me talk to her instead. Now I don’t know what she is thinking.”

“You can never guess what she is thinking about,” Morpheus said coldly. “Now I need to return to the Dreaming. I have a lot of work to do.”

You understood that he wasn’t in the talking mood right and followed him, hoping to bring him to his senses.

@shadowqueen1322 @mypsychoticlove @justathirstyhoe​ @ladymoztaza @sapphireonline @deniixlovezelda

[lqbeo]

IN MY DREAMS …

ELEVEN / HITCH HIKE

WARNINGS / POORLY WRITTEN & BAD CHAPTER, SWEARING, NOT PROOFREAD WC / 1534

IN WHICH / You join the photography club to be with your crush, jeongin. But on the first day of the club you notice he wasn't there but instead his best friend, beomgyu, was.

“If only stupid emo boy wasn’t getting into trouble you wouldn’t be in these crutches” Chaewon said as you both walked side by side to exit the school. You hummed agreeing, while Chaewon wrapped her hand around your right arm. Yunjin who was behind you guys started running towards you and when she did she aggressively tapped your arm. “Yah! Yah! You know the new internet cafe? I heard the guy who works there is super hot!” Yunjin excitedly mentioned “Ooh! Yeah!” Chaewon smiled widely before clapping her hands. Yunjin’s face lit up and soon started jumping “Let’s go see!”

“You guys go ahead, I have photography” You told your two best friends. Yunjin glared at you and Chaewon did the same then groaned at annoyance “Come on! Let’s go together!” Yunjin tried to convince you with a pleading and whining tone “Yeah, to keep your mind off him”

“I just can’t, you guys go” You tried turning around to go to a place you can take pictures, however, of course they had to stop you. “Let’s just go see him!” Yunjin whines more and pulls your arm like a baby who wants to buy a new toy. “I gotta stay” Now it’s both Chaewon and Yunjin pulling your arms that were holding on to the crutches for dear life. But before anything else could happen, a loud sound of a motor revving came from afar. All your eyes’ darted at the boy driving a motorcycle and to your surprise they stopped the motor right in front of you and your friends. Yunjin and Chaewon’s jaw fell open when the guy took off his helmet, did you guess it? it was Jeongin.

You locked eyes with Jeongin and that was enough to make you want to bang his head against a wall, but his words are worse. “Yn, get on” Your eyes widened at his offer, so did Chaewon and Yunjins. “Why?”

“I’ll drive you home” He replied and in his hand, he’s offering a helmet. No one gave you time to react as Yunjin gave Chaewon a hi-5 then excitedly grabbed the helmet from his hands. “He wants you to go! Get on that bike” Yunjin scolds you but you refuse. you tried to defend yourself, hopefully trying to change their minds, but that ain’t happening. “Just go!” Chaewon whispers but you still didn’t want him to drive you home. But your friends managed to get you on his motorcycle.

He was going at a normal speed as you rested your hand on his shoulder. You peeked over this left shoulder to see the road and thankfully you saw a turn, you were kind of afraid you had gotten lost. “Hey, we gotta take a right over here ok?” You pointed at the turn but the response you got was much more scarier to you than getting lost “I don’t know how to turn right��� Jeongin straight up said, with no sugar coating or guilty tone. With eyes fuming once again, you said back “Huh? Ya!—” it felt like your soul was leaving your body when Jeongin drove up a ramp. “Ya! Where are we going? Make a U-turn!” you commanded but that did not help “I don’t know how to do that either” Jeongin mumbled” you could only let out a groan, when stopped and parked his motor by a railing.

Jeongin removed his helmet and casually got off the vehicle, much to your demise. You believe it was unbelievable that can act so casually when he brought you to some random location, but you can't lie about how it looked beautiful. You release another groan when you take off your own helmet and stand up with the help of your crutches “Hey! How can you drive like that?” You rebuke angrily from behind while he walks. “Sorry, I’m still learning. I borrowed it from a guy I know so I could give you a ride” He finally stopped walking and turned to you.

You sigh from exhaustion and you stare at him, as he does to you. “Why?” You were able to ask between your shortness of breath. “Well, it’s my fault you got hurt, also Beomgyus” hearing his name made your blood boil, your cheeks and ears turn scarlet when Jeongin walked step by step to get closer to you. What was he doing? You thought yet your eyes widened when he was about 2 feet apart from you and that did not let him stop to lean forward to reach your height. You took a couple steps back “So why’d you do it?” his small smirk you’d love to get used to appeared. “Well I—” You stuttered, not to be dramatic but it’s like your soul left the second time.

What were you supposed to say? Oh I have liked you since the start of this semester! You were most definitely not gonna say that. Nervousness and anxiety talking to your long term crush did not help you think of a reply “You didn’t want me to get hurt?” god, why was he making this even harder than it already is. All you could do is stare at him and exhale deeply, your brain felt like it was malfunctioning. You broke your stare and looked at the scenery to avoid his gaze. “I was afraid they’d beat you up. Was I just supposed to let that happen? Huh?” You half lied, there was another reason why you helped Jeongin but you were just scared to admit it.

“Also, you shouldn’t be nice to just anyone. It’s annoying for other people” You continued your rant and when you finished you carried on avoiding to look at him. You failed miserably when he asks you

“You wanna go out?”

Speechless would be the second best word to describe your state right now. The best word is dumb-founded. Did he just ask me out? you questioned yourself. You chuckle in disbelief “Huh? you, want to go out with me? Who made you do this?” You joke around, really not believing what he said. “No one” He stood up normalt again after saying that. Surely this was what you wanted, but why weren’t you believing him. “This is ridiculous, I need to take pictures for photography” you attempted to hide your disbelief when he just laughs “Then get a picture of me! I’m sure people would love it” Jeongin then started posing. You didn’t like how he was teasing or joking so you playfully hit his shoulder and he dramatically moans “god, fine, let’s go”

He gets past you going towards his motorcycle. You stand there for a minute trying to process that Yang Jeongin just asked you out on a date. You stared into oblivion just replaying the moment in your head. God this is gonna create so much tension.

When you turn around and stand in front of his motor to put on a helmet, Jeongin slowly looks at you “It’s, uh, not starting.” This day just keeps getting worse and worse for you huh? Of course you froze “what?” before you aggressively and angrily take your helmet off “Ya!” if looks can kill, your glare at him would have made him fall into his death. “Hey! I can do this”

he in fact couldn’t do it.

You both ended up hitch hiking with a guy with a truck. You two were at the back with some boxes. You were hugging your legs while Jeongin held your bag. Just like you expected there was tension and awkwardness, but the silence broke when your stomach grumbled. You move your head to hopefully see he didn’t notice but he gave you a look that already said ‘i heard your stomach’. Fortunately, he finds it funny and offers you to eat with him. You said yes but only because you were hungry.

The truck dropped you at this restaurant and you both bow and thank the driver. You and Jeongin entered and went up the stairs, with him holding his crutches for you. When you got to the floor you looked up to see Beomgyu, shit you forgot about him. Jeongin gives you back your crutches and tells you to find a seat. He leaves to order something on the counter and you and Beomgyu awkwardly stand in front of one another. You looked at him up and down, you never thought he’d work at a place like this. He wore a brown apron, a white polo shirt, and black pants while he held a tray. He looked cute on him, but you didn’t want to say that. “Were you, uh, waiting for us? Sorry” You apologise, nut he just walks away. You gave him a side eye before finding somewhere to sit.

After waiting, you finally got to eat. You were currently slurping a kind of pasta and you moan when you taste it. Why was it so good? you wondered. Jeongin rested his chin on his palm as he watched you clear your plate with heart eyes.

“Still wanna go out?”

Your chewing paused and your eyes slowly fell on him. Why is he bringing this up again? “What?”

“I like you”

MLIST / TWELVE / PREV

A/N: this sucks i apologise i wrote this on my phone and at 1am 😭 i also apologise for making this update a day late 🥶 But don't worry updates will be back to the regular schedule because i have my summer break this weekend!

TAGLIST: @captivq @beomomb @flowerbe0m @rosenatorfirst @xtra-cheese @tya0 @catsyoon @woncheecks @ioszzn @kaeebtch @fairy-of-sugar @kaewonie @huening-ly @aernx @yumilovesloona @i2lain @myknifeyourlife @xrvrqs @sandhyaaa-aa @wasteofoxygenn @ajakaashi ( taglist is open )

2023 © lqbeo

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

My mother stayed with us. 😩 I was hoping 🙏🙏 that she would leave today, but..... she wouldn’t be such a pain, if she really left after just one night.

And Nico... he has nothing better to do, than talk to me about our probs early in the morning. I just woke up!! I hardly opened my eyes, he already started to dictate to me. He told me not to go to Dominick’s funeral. I was sick and should stay in bed. And well, he was right, so I’m not gonna be at Dominick’s funeral. Tbh, I wouldn’t have been able to handle this well anyway.... N. & I also talked about something else and... I felt much better after our conversation.

Nico: You’re still mad at me. I get it, but it’s not gonna go on. The stiuation between you & Daniel. I had to talk to him. You told me your version of the story, but I also wanted to hear his opinion, to understand. I think I know why it's so difficult for him to sign the divorce papers. But he’ll explain that to you, as soon as you get better.

Me: What does that mean? I mean... US!

Nico: We both know what we want. We want to stay together and we love our Baby . You don’t want to be with Daniel. You would have stayed with him last week, but you came back home and told me everything. You think you betrayed me. But I see it differently. You backed out at the last moment because... you love me. Even though you were mad at me, you ended up saying no to him.

Me: But I wanted Daniel. And I kissed him.

Nico: Maybe it’s a good thing. At least now you know... what’s important to you.

Me: Your reaction really surprised me... While you’ve changed, I’m still the same insecure person, as I was then. Bcs... I still find it hard to trust you. I mean when you’re abroad for so long. And soon, you'll have to leave anyway.

Nico: You come with me, or I won’t go. I’ll stay home with you.

Me: You didn’t really mean that. And I don’t want you to give up your dream for me.

Nico: You're my dream. If I go abroad without you, then only with the certainty that between us, everything's fine. Or I'll quit soccer.

Nico: Anyway. Rn you should just focus on our Baby and the pregnancy. The doctor told you yesterday. You need to relax! And I think you should tell your Mom that you increased your dose.

Me: You don't understand that. I’m ashamed of it. You have no idea how I feel about it. The truth is, I suspected it. Somehow I knew our baby was suffering. I felt a tremor in my belly, all day yesterday. I knew our Baby was moving, but it was different than usual. And when the doctor confirmed my guess, I just wanted to die.

Nico: It’s not your fault. The main thing, he's fine.

Me: I always think you’ll blame me one day. But I’m also relieved. It’s not easy to talk about it but as it looks, it works quite well with you.

Nico: I will never blame you. You’re trying your best to get him born healthy.

I kissed N. That moment I felt a.... deep connection between him, me and our baby. I was not that afraid anymore. But suddenly my Mom came up to the bedroom. 🤦‍♀️

She totally annoyed me!  She was a little stressed out because Nico and I haven’t prepared anything for the baby yet. Besides, I still haven’t divorced Daniel. This has upset her. She was worried.

And why Nico and I had to move out is because his lease was only temporary. We had to decide, whether to extend the contract, or move out. Since his apartment had no nursery, we decided to look for a bigger home. Otherwise, the contract would have been extended for another 2 years. I didn't want that. But if I had known, how long we have waited in the end to move into our new apartment, I would have preferred to stay here. There were delays on the construction site, our apartment was newly built. We had to wait 6 months longer than agreed, until we could move into our new home. Our baby was almost a year old (10 Months) when we could finally move.... Ugh, it’s gonna be... hard for me.

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