#“the desire lasted only a few days” 😭
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my-deer-history · 1 year ago
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Francis Kinloch in the Müller-Bonstetten letters (and others): Part 5
More translations, taken from various sources (here, here, here and here). The letters are to Bonstetten unless otherwise noted. Biographical details sourced from Kinloch of South Carolina.
13 May 1780
Because of Mr Kinloch, I am filled with joy and dread. Dread, because his city has been besieged by 10,000 men with a great deal of artillery; joy, because he has married a very amiable and wealthy woman*. I receive regular letters from his brother; his own are often lost due to the perils of war.
*Kinloch’s first wife was Mildred Walker, though it seems they were only married on 22 Feb 1781. She died in Nov 1784.
9 Sept 1780
Kinloch, after having performed bravely in various engagements, was wounded in the arm, whereupon South Carolina unanimously elected him as a delegate to the Continental Congress; he sits with his colleagues in Philadelphia, not very peacefully, I think.
11 Aug 1781
I spent two days sorting more than 500 letters that came from Geneva along with my books. Memories of Kinloch, Nassau, Bonnet, Tronchin, Boone, Knight, Sandys, Abbot sweetened the work
7 Dec 1782, to his mother
I have largely been happy with my life up until now: but almost never on the path that I intended to take. Twelve years ago, I wished to marry*, and to live in Schaffhausen on a few professorships; I then had various plans for England and Flanders; at one point, the greatest and best thing seemed to me to witness the blossoming and progress of a new free country with Kinloch, and the serve a free people in war and peace;
*Original annotation: The desire lasted only a few days.
January 1784
It is neither my place to compare myself with such writers nor to scorn what God has given me: but after almost losing many years of my early youth, the 33rd [year] is finally here, but in an occupation to which I was not suited, the 24th and 25th I spent with Kinloch, leaving me little time for my own studies of friendship and duty
9 Aug 1786
Nothing else has changed in my household, except that Mr Boone, Kinloch’s former guardian and governor of South Carolina, has sent his son here, and he is living with me; he does not take up any of my time, as I only see him at mealtimes; he is an amiable officer, who was also very popular at Aschaffenburg.*
*A town in Bavaria.
20 Feb 1801
In my letter writing, I had to ensure that there was also a reply to Kinloch in South Carolina. Do you remember the noble youth? Now he is a grandfather;* he lives happily besides and I have just read an excellent essay of his about the character of the revolution.**
*Kinloch’s daughter, Eliza Kinloch Nelson, gave birth to a son called Francis in 1800.
**From context, the French rather than American revolution. 
7 Jan 1803
Not enjoyable, as you can see, but rather tender in its sufferings and joys was the transition into my 52nd year. On that birthday I wrote to South Carolina, responding to two of Kinloch’s letters, full of spirit and love.
22 Oct 1803
I already wrote to you that Kinloch has arrived in Bordeaux and will soon be in Geneva; he wrote to me at once in such a brotherly way, rejoiced at the long-awaited reunion, and for a few days took me back to the charming dreams of my youth! I answered him immediately; we shall see each other in the coming year. If nothing unusual happens, I can easily get a few months' leave; should it not be possible from this or that perspective, then the one who has crossed the ocean and all of France will also make these 60 posts himself. 
25 Jan 1804
Write to me in Dresden at once. If the world quietens, or at least does not continue to burn, I hope to visit you and Kinloch in the summer.
18 June 1804
To Geneva, first, came the most beautiful letters from Berlin, gracious, joyful, inducing longing. Then Kinloch’s embrace! he is as he was; slightly fatter; his heart noble, as before; a husband, like you; a caring father; a faithful brother; a morally perfect person.
13 May 1780
Ich bin wegen Hrn. Kinloch in großer Freude und Furcht. In Furcht, weil seine Stadt von 10,000 Mann mit vieler Artillerie belagert wird; in Freude, weil er eine sehr liebenswürdige und reiche Frau geheirathet hat. Von seinem Bruder bekomme ich öftere Briefe; die seinigen gehen durch die Kriegsgefahren häufig verlohren.
9 Sept 1780
Kinloch, nachdem er sich in verschiedenen Treffen tapfer gehalten, ist am Arm verwundet worden, worauf Südcarolina ihn einmüthig zum Deputirten auf den Generalcongreß erwählt hat; er sitzt mit seinen Collegen zu Philadelphia, nicht eben ruhig, denke ich.
11 Aug 1781
Zwei Tage sind mir über der Anordnung von mehr als 500 Briefen, die nebst meinen Büchern aus Genf gekommen sind, verflossen. Manche Erinnerung an Kinloch, Nassau, Bonnet, Tronchin, Boone, Knight, Sandys, Abbot, versüßte die Arbeit
7 Dec 1782, to his mother
Ich bin in meinem Leben bis dahin meist glücklich gewesen: fast nie aber auf dem Weg, den ich gehen wollte. Vor zwölf Jahren wünschte ich zu heirathen*, und mit ein Paar Professorstellen zu Schaffhausen zu leben; ich hatte nachmals auf England und Flandern verschiedene Plane; einst schien mir das größte und beste, mit Kinloch dem Aufblühen und Fortgang eines neuen Freistaates beizuwohnen, und im Krieg und Frieden einem freien Volk zu dienen;
*Der Wunsch dauerte nur wenige Tage.
January 1784
Es kömmt weder mir zu, mich solchen Schriftstellern zu vergleichen oder zu verachten, was Gott auch mir gegeben: aber nachdem ich viele Jahre der ersten Jugend fast verloren, das 33ste endlich hier, aber in einer Beschäftigung, für die ich nicht war, das 24ste und 25ste mit Kinloch, so daß mir für eigene Studien von Freundschaft und Pflicht wenige Zeit gelassen wurde
9 Aug 1786
In meinem Hauswesen hat sich weiter nichts verändert, als daß Hr. Boone, Kinloch's ehmaliger Vormund, und von Südcarolina Gouverneur, seinen Sohn' hieher gesandt, welcher bei mir wohnt; Zeit kostet er mir keine, da ich nur bei Tafel ihn sehe; er ist ein liebenswürdiger Officier, der auch zu Aschaffenburg sehr wohl gefallen.
20 Feb 1801
Von meiner Briefschreibung muß ich nachholen, daß auch nach Südcarolina an Kinloch eine Antwort dabei war. Erinnerst du dich des edlen Jünglings? Nun ist er Großvater; lebt übrigens glücklich und ich habe so eben einen vortrefflichen Aufsatz über den Charakter der Revolution von ihm gelesen. 
7 Jan 1803
Nicht lustig war, wie du siehst, aber zärtlich in Leiden und Freuden der Uebergang in mein 52stes Jahr. An dem Geburtstag wurde nach Südcarolina geschrieben, auf zwei Briefe Kinloch's voll Geist und Liebe.
22 Oct 1803
Schrieb ich dir schon, daß Kinloch zu Bordeaux angekommen ist und nun zu Genf seyn wird; wie brüderlich er mir sogleich schrieb, des lang ersehnten Wiedersehens frohlockte, und für einige Tage mich ganz in der Jugend holde Trăume zurück versehte! Ich habe ihm sogleich geantwortet; sehen werden wir uns im zukünftigen Jahr. Wenn nichts besonderes eintritt, so kann ich Urlaub auf ein paar Monate leicht erhalten; sollte es aus der oder der Betrachtung nicht seyn können, so wird der über das Weltmeer und ganz Frankreich Hergekommene auch diese 60 Posten selbst noch machen. 
25 Jan 1804
Nach Dresden schreibe mir sogleich. Wenn die Welt ruhig, oder doch nicht weiterhin entflammt wird, so hoffe ich auf den Sommer Euch und Kinloch zu besuchen.
18 June 1804
Zu Genf erstlich die schönsten Briefe von Berlin, gnädig, freudevoll, sehnsuchterregend. Dann Kinloch's Umarmung! er ist, wie er war; etwas fetter; sein Herz edel, wie vorhin; ein Gatte, wie du; ein sorgsamer Vater; ein treuer Bruder; ein moralisch vollkommener Mensch. 
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buckyblogs · 11 days ago
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MY BUCKY FIC RECOMMENDATIONS
• ‘come home to me’ - during the rise and ruin of the second world war, a sharp-tongued brooklyn girl falls for james buchanan barnes—only to lose him to the battlefield, a presumed death, and the silence that follows. but almost two years later, when the war is long over and the wounds have scarred over, he comes back through her door, proving that some promises do survive the fire. (14.7k) @danysdaughter
! • ‘promise without ceremony’ - Bucky Barnes gave up on marriage a long time ago. But then, somewhere deep in a storm-soaked safe house, he pulls a bullet from your leg and accidentally proposes in the process. (3.9k) @cheekybarnes
• ‘lessons in lovemaking’ - You and Bucky Barnes go undercover as a married couple, but when a fake kiss gets too real, he unexpectedly finishes in his pants—leaving you both stunned. (smut masterlist) @artficlly
• ‘this is (not) fine’ - personal assistant rules: don’t crush on bucky barnes. definitely don’t misinterpret a flower purchase and spiral into silent heartbreak, and absolutely never ever get stuck alone with him in an elevator. (smut - 9.1k) @artficlly
• ‘take me home’ - the team discovers bucky's relationship with you when bucky searches for you in the hospital after hydra attacks new york (secret marriage - 1.7k) @parkers-gal
• ‘jackass’ - Everyone is horrified that Bucky is flirting with a married woman, but then they realise there's a reason why. (secret marriage - 3k) @aquaticmercy
! • ‘lumberjack!bucky series’ - Roots and Branches is the main story, Hardwood the follow-up, and the rest are one shots that you can read -or not- in the order you desire. (oh my god i love this) @vunblr
• ‘moving in’ - You're moving into your brand new apartment with Bucky. (beefy!bucky smut) @brunchable
• ‘movie night’ - You come home exhausted from another day of work, not expecting Bucky to surprise you with a little heart-warming gesture to show you how much he appreciates you. (fiance) @brunchable
• ‘my neighbour is a p⭐️’ - Things have turned awkward. You and Bucky hasn't spoken with each other for a few days now. But is the much needed space making things better or worse? (part 3/3 - other parts are in their masterlist!) @brunchable
• ‘all the apple cider and no more haunted houses’ - you and bucky barnes have a love-hate relationship—you love him and you believe he hates you—but when your friends insist on going to the scariest haunted house attraction in the area, the experience ends up forcing your real feelings for each other out into light. (smut - 11.1k) @witchywithwhiskey
• ‘the forever third wheels’ - it's the weekend of your town's annual valentine's day carnival and you go with your group of friends, though you can't help but be sad you don't have someone special in your life. your friend, and fellow third wheel, bucky barnes makes it his mission to give you a valentine's day you won't soon forget—and show you how special you are to him. (6.6k) @witchywithwhiskey
• ‘the day after’ - Your new roommate introduces you to her brother, but you met him last night. (implied smut - 2.3k+) @navybrat817
! • ‘like he means it’ - You can’t take another night of hearing Bucky fuck a girl who isn’t you. (oh my god 😭😍 - mentions of sex - 13.6k) @marvelstoriesepic
*! • ‘summer surprise’ - You've been looking forward to kicking off the summer with a week on your dads new boat. You decide to have one last night of fun before committing to a week on the sea with your family. But you're thrown into a world of shock when you realize the older man you slept with, only days prior, is not only friends with your dad, but also joining you for the trip. (age-gap! - 21k) @pome-seed
*! • ‘we couldn’t stop’ - During a sweep of a forgotten HYDRA lab, you, Steve, and Bucky trigger an old aerosol dispersal system. No one realizes what hit you until it’s too late. Now stuck in quarantine- burning, aching, and caged in with two dominant, unraveling super soldiers- you’re forced to ride out the drug’s effects together. (Bucky & Steve - 7k) @societyfolklore
* • ‘fractured light’ - In this emotional slow-burn romance, you, Steve Rogers’ best friend, find yourself homeless and jobless, seeking refuge in the Brooklyn apartment he shares with Bucky Barnes. While Steve welcomes you with open arms, Bucky is wary, his distrust rooted in a painful past tied to a silver ring from the 1940s. (oh my god - sobbing 😭 - 30k+) @onlyforsebastianstan
*! • ‘captain, stg, grumpy, and their doll!’ - (poly!relationship, Steve x Reader x Bucky | Stucky x Reader - 1.5k) @mercurial-chuckles
* • ‘a favour’ masterlist - The team is close, obviously. They thought they knew everything about each other… until Y/N drunkenly admits to the team that she’s never had sex. And she’s eagerly waiting for that to change. Everyone is happy to step up to the plate, regardless of Bucky’s feelings for Y/N. Can he confess before it’s too late? (4 parts - 7.5k+ total) @buckysbabygorl
*! • ‘tied in trust’ - You only asked for something light—just a little teasing, some rope, a blindfold. But Bucky Barnes never did anything halfway. Not when it came to you. (literally my dream scenario with Buck - 7k) @buckyseternaldoll
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WILL KEEP UPDATING!
* means new, ! means personal favourites
MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW AND CHECK OUT ALL THESE AMAZING AUTHOR’S CONTINUED WORKS!
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aventurineswife · 4 months ago
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Pls hear me out bcs this has been in my mind since FOREVER.
I have this idea of SAHSR with artist!reader 😖😖
Reader is a very talented artist that draws the characters and I like to imagine there's a whole museum filled with their arts of said characters
I like to think the paintings just spawn out of nowhere on the wall every few weeks lol
Maybe one day artist!reader has art block and no new paintings have been displayed, which makes everyone worry and confused until they started drawing their favorite character or something
"Artist note: Thank you for curing my art block, Sunday, I love you" and then 5 back to back portraits of him start appearing on the walls day by day LMAO
(If they see my drawings I'm burying myself in a grave🧍🏻‍♀️)
I'm lowkey new to your account, so I wanna be known as the 🤡 anon from now on if that's okay 😖 (Can't guarantee I'll drop by often)
NO BECAUSE THIS CONCEPT IS ACTUALLY SO PERFECT.
A self-aware HSR world where your art physically manifests into reality??? And not just that, but a whole ass museum dedicated to your work, where paintings of the characters just appear mysteriously on the walls every few weeks??? The way that would completely change how they view you is insane. 🙏😭
A grand, ethereal museum exists somewhere, where your artwork materializes on its own.
No one knows how or why it happens—only that every few weeks, new paintings appear, as if bestowed by fate itself.
The subjects of the paintings? The characters themselves. Their greatest moments. Their worst defeats. Their hidden smiles.
To the people of this world (aka the HSR verse), it’s a sacred place. A place that holds the true essence of their existence, captured by your divine hand.
Bronya, Gepard, and Argenti see it as a monument of unparalleled beauty. Your art is eternal proof of their existence.
Aventurine and Sampo act all casual about it ("Of course the great me would be featured!"), but internally, they memorize every single brushstroke you’ve painted of them.
Blade and Dan Heng? No thoughts, just ✨emotional damage✨. How do you capture their past so well? How do you see them so clearly?
Sunday and Black Swan analyze every single painting. Your art isn’t just art—it’s a glimpse into your thoughts, your emotions, your desires. And that knowledge is dangerous.
One day, the paintings stop appearing. No new portraits. No landscapes. Nothing. At first, they think it’s a test of patience. That you are simply waiting, watching. But then weeks pass. And the museum remains unchanged. Panic sets in. Did something happen? Did they offend you? Have you abandoned them? Some try to pray to you. Others try to seek out the museum’s secrets, searching for any clue as to why the paintings have stopped. Then, finally, after agonizing uncertainty, a new painting appears.
"Thank you for curing my art block, Sunday. I love you."
And with that, FIVE consecutive, highly detailed portraits of Sunday materialize on the walls, each one more extravagant than the last.
Sunday’s Reaction:
He doesn’t shut up about it for WEEKS.
Walks into the museum like it’s his own personal shrine now.
"Ah, yes. The Celestial Painter adores me. As expected."
He starts flexing it in front of the others. "Oh? No new paintings of you? Tragic. Can’t relate." (I love Sunday lmaoo)
Oh boy... If they ever find your sketchbook... I mean imagine!
The moment they find your personal sketchbook?
Yeah. No. You’re not living that one down.
Jing Yuan, Kafka, and Black Swan would be the first to pick apart every little detail in your sketches.
Himeko and Welt would be flattered but also deeply humbled. They know what it means to be immortalized in art.
March 7th would immediately take pictures and show them to everyone. "LOOK AT THIS CUTE ONE OF ME!!"
Blade and Dan Heng would absolutely implode. Seeing a soft, lovingly drawn version of themselves would wreck them emotionally.
Sunday? You already know. He frames your sketches of him. Personally.
You: "If they see my drawings, I’m burying myself in a grave."
Yeah, I'm gonna hold your hand for this one... You won’t need to. They are already worshipping you.
They revere your art because it is proof of their existence. They fear your silence because it means they’ve fallen from your favor. And when you return? They desperately seek your attention, your approval, your divine brushstrokes upon their forms.
You are not just an artist.
You are their creator, their storyteller, their muse.
And they will do anything to remain upon your canvas.
Sorry, this sounded a bit yandere now AHAHAHA...haha...ha...um... Yeah, BUG OUT!🏃‍♀️💨
Also, yes you can refer to that and don't worry!! 🫶
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bluemerakis · 5 months ago
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that last sb fic 🫡 i owe you everything for that BUT i do have a request that's been rotting in my brain for days and i need someone as talented as u to give it a go
soldier boy x vought exec daughter!! the power play, the (healthy) age gap, forbidden desires????!!! need it, thank u, i love ur work
first off, i’m so so glad you enjoyed the fic anon! 😭 you’re making my heart incredibly full with the lovely compliment!! mwah!
secondly, that pairing is actually to die for??? wait i need it too. I GOTCHU!! thank you for trusting me with this wonderful wonderful idea, i hope i did it justice!! never stop using that amazing mind of yours to brainstorm these pairings 🩵
─ ۶ৎ ─
────────── ᝰ bluemerakis ༝༚༝༚ ────
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❝ synergy ❞
part i
─ ۶ৎ ─
pairing ୨୧ soldier boy x vought!exec!daughter
warnings .ᐟ cussing, porn with plot, age gap, power play, reader has daddy issues (sorry this just makes it so much hotter), slow-burn enemies to … hate-sex partners, i guess lmfao; pet names, tension thick enough to cut with a knife, soldier boy just being typically insufferable in the best way ever
synopsis ─ as the daughter of vought’s executive director, you’ve got a pivotal role to play in the upkeep of the company. that means keeping payback in check—uniforms, brands, rehearsed speeches, and keeping a clean mouth (and nose) on the leader of them all—soldier boy.
the last task seems impossible to achieve, especially when the lead supe seizes all opportunities to get beneath your skin, and your skirt, during your every interaction. it makes working with him mostly insufferable, but you can’t deny the unspoken tension between the two of you—a tension that vouches for the slither of you that craves anything other than fleeing his presence.
word count ~ 9k
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“I’m not going to sugarcoat it, sweetheart, this job’s going to be tough on you.”
You listened to your father speak from where you stood only a few inches away from his desk—hands looped tidily behind your back, chin tilted upward in poise, and expression carved from the same stone that had built this building up from the ground. Honestly, you currently felt no different than a troop standing at their superior’s attention. And yet, you knew that it’d been by design. Your father’s design.
You tried not to pay too much mind to the way his use of sweetheart pricked the hairs of your neck. It was a name your father had spent years branding as your own term of endearment, but knowing what you knew about him, and what you meant to him, the term felt more like belittlement. You hated it.
You couldn’t help but hitch your brows at his statement—a brisk act of defiance that vanished almost as quickly as it’d come. Growing up, your father had never been anything but tough on you, and it’s a scar you’d carried well into adulthood. So you would have thought that, by now, he’d have learnt to stop doubting your capabilities.
A girl can dream, right? Because at the end of the day, entering your father’s company meant that you were fresh meat, and taking on this job wasn’t so much like being tossed into the lion’s den as it was being fed directly into the jaws of this man-operated corporate. It was a suffocating environment, but no different to the air you’d grown accustomed to breathing in the artificial circumstances of your upbringing.
After all, your father had practically raised you for this job.
You watched as the man of your nightmares circuited his unkempt desk with a chilled whiskey clutched at the ready, his hair the type of unruly that could have only been styled by a stressed hand. His head was tilted down to the ground, eyes studying his every step as though your existence before him had never been fathomable to begin with. Or demanding of the sort of respect that warranted even a second of eye contact.
His free hand whisked through the air as he spelled out all sorts of gestures tinged with subtle exasperation. “You’re going to be working with Supes,” he continued, glass lifting to his lips to down an eager gulp, as though the mere term was a distasteful pill to be swallowed. You caught his jaw unclenching for the first time this evening as his tongue waltzed with the liquor, and once the sip had lost its frisk, he discarded it with a swallow and a grunt of pleasure.
The scene before you had you stifling a wry grin. Supes were no saints, your father had always disclosed that much to you—but this? Drinking at the mere mention of them? Your father could be easily rattled at times, but for the most part, he was overly talented at holding his temper together when it came to dealing with. . . alternative groups. And drinking was a vice he’d long since worked hard to wean himself off of—for the most part, at least. So, if this atypical demeanour of his was the haunting preview for the horrors you were about to endure on this job, you knew you were in for one hell of a ride.
Your father continued his disgruntled pacing to round the corner of his desk, where he took up his throne and settled into its comfort with a dramatic creak. There, in the symbolic comfort of his importance, he found it in himself to finally acquaint your eye at last. A king addressing his lesser subject.
“Most of these Supes have been around since before me—some senility modifications they’d worked into the compound V formula. Has them looking not a day over forty,” he explained sullenly, as though perturbed by the science of it all. “Regardless of those insignificancies, the knowledge of their alterations make them presumptuous, it makes them insolent, but most importantly, it makes them dangerous—a liability, if you will.”
“A company’s kryptonite,” you droned suddenly, breaking your unspoken vow of silence with words that made your father’s lips curve up in satisfaction—and why wouldn’t it? They were his words, after all, words he’d spent all your growing years imbuing into your vocabulary of his selection so that you were not unlike his shadow. A part of you wondered, out of spite and just for a fleeting second, how he’d react to you finally stepping out of it and into your own light. Into your own legacy. Maybe, this job would be exactly the way to do it—the start of something new, born of something ancient.
“Precisely,” your father hummed gleefully, studying you though a slight narrowing of his eyes that told you all you needed to know—that he was currently admiring the fruits of his labour. His life’s work. You, a fail-safe investment, should his time to bite the dust arrive abruptly. “I taught you well,” he added with a suffocating smugness.
You taught me obedience, you retorted silently. But because he was always right, you offered a faux smile of agreement. “I’ve got big shoes to fill,” you said—lacquering his ego, maybe, but simultaneous making your future favours all the more sizeable. “I can’t give anything less than my absolute best.” He taught you that, too. Repeatedly. A mantra forged with every intent to instil a festering fear of failure, rather than nurture any hopes of sure succession. A grenade he’d planted within you, one hand always on the pin, just waiting to implode all that you were at the first mistake.
Your father never could refuse another flower in his bouquet of self-importance, so he received your praise with greedy palms, utterly oblivious to the spiteful thorns furled around their metaphorical stems—thorns that you vowed would eventually come back around to nip him where it hurt.
You watched his lips quirk with a smile that felt deeply displaced—like he’d been given a brief rundown of what to do, but lacked the practice to perfect it authentically. “Your mother would be proud,” he declared suddenly.
Admittedly, those words made the air catch in your throat for a brief second—your airways thickening with some unresolved emotion that made your lungs stutter for their next breath. You blinked in rapid succession, as if flipping through the pages of the behavioural manual your father had written into your code for instances that threatened to usurp your composure. Instances like these. But there was nothing that could’ve prepared you for your emotionally-uninvested father taking a casual stroll down memory lane.
You settled for a thick swallow and a slight perking of your chin, brows kneading with a purpose meant to push forward a steadfast narrative, but was really just a show of your greatest restraint. “I’ll have to take your word for it,” you pushed out bravely—but there was a slight hitch in your tone that you hoped your father’s attuned senses hadn’t snagged.
You’d never truly known your mother—she’d walked out of your life before you’d even learnt to crawl. But despite her apparent abandonment, your father had never failed to recall her memory in warmth—when he did bring her up. So you thought, then, that she couldn’t have been all that bad—and that, maybe, if she’d stuck around, she could have saved you from his bone-chilling, mind-numbing tundra of a heart.
Your father absentmindedly twirled his partially-emptied glass at the rim, eyes hovering on you for a duration that began nudging at your unease. They were narrowed, calculating. It was the same look he wore anytime he reviewed new proposals to implement—or those to scorn and discard without a second glance. It had always been a gift of his, to be an enigma never telling of which decision he’d eventually settle on, and it made you squirm more than you’d have liked to admit.
Eventually, he uttered a simple hm, your heart lurching at the cryptic noise—he, who always voiced his verdict with the intent for the world to hear it, settling on a sound so indefinite. Then, he drew in a deep, decided breath as he craned himself forward in his throne, free hand unfurling across the expanse of his cluttered desk to pluck up some folder he’d clearly set aside for this very conversation.
Slowly, he lifted it in your direction, a silent beckon for you to shed your salute and approach him at last. You obeyed on slightly wobbly legs drawn into rigidity by a show of confidence, striding over to a cover a distance close enough to snag the file, but not close enough to be drawn into his consuming orbit. “What’s this?” You asked, eyes buckling to skim the folder’s title for an answer that would precede your father’s.
Payback. The name placed immediately amongst the ranks of your knowledge. The super-abled team of heroes that the entirety of new York had practically claimed their new religion—deserving of praise and worship and altars in the form of billboards and big screens that spanned every skyscraper in view. The gods that could, would, and should do no wrong, according to the sheep of America. But wiser men could see through the white robes. Wiser men, like yourself, knew that Payback were nothing more than wolves loitering on the horizon, discreetly thinning out the naive herd. One by one—so sparse as to go unnoticed by the masses.
So, the question begged whether the file you currently held was cluttered with information intended to inform, or blackmail designed for your shortcomings to contain them.
“Open it,” your father instructed, earning a mildly wide-eyed glance from you. He lifted his glass with a glare that looked grim, then drained the last of the whiskey that had been slowly drowning in the glass keep as he waited for you to follow through.
You did, eventually, after watching him set down his glass, but flipping open the cover was driven by greedy curiosity, rather than the need to obey his every command—as you often found yourself doing. Your palm fanned beneath the spine to support both ends of the file as your other hand began flipping through the information-heavy sleeves.
Black Noir, Crimson Countess, Gunpowder—all the ridiculous names you tried not to pay too much attention to as you flitted through the pages. You skimmed through enough of the information to deduce that you were practically holding an old-school Wikipedia on each of Payback’s members, and it was a finding that had your heart sagging an inch lower into your chest with the sheer disappointment of it all.
You didn’t doubt that your father was hounding all the good stuff for himself. You also didn’t doubt that he’d ever hand you the key to that safe willingly. He trusted you with enough to become the skeleton of his company, but not the heart, lungs and soul of it all—hoarding the deepest, darkest secrets that would send the entire organism collapsing should it ever become public knowledge.
Fair enough. You’re new on the job. And you’re not him—even though he’d spent years trying to make you enough of a splitting image. Hell, you’re not even the child he wanted. You were the exception—the lemons he’d had to utilise to create worthwhile lemonade. You supposed that this job was your own sack of lemons to turn into something worthwhile, and that your father would have to have a taste of it before deciding when you’d have access to the more exciting information.
You hadn’t bothered to page toward the end of the file, the exploration terminating a rough three quarters in, where a picture of The TNT Twins stared back at you. You couldn’t have glanced away faster to relieve the discomfort their beady stares evoked. “What am I supposed to do with this?” You asked your father bluntly.
His hands were folded together now, elbows resting promptly atop his desk. At some point during your brief reading, he’d run another hand through his hair to recollect the class he often modelled throughout the hallways of Vought’s building. He looked almost respectable again. “Research,” he said.
“Research?” You echoed. “I’ve already done my research. And there’s nothing in here that I don’t already know. I doubt—”
“Do it again,” he cut in firmly. It sent a chill down your spine. With your lips pressed into a silent, sullen line, you watched his elbows slink from the frame of his desk as he settled back into his throne. His chin perked up as though needing to re-establish his elevated status, even from where he sat below you. “If you are to be the new manager of those Supe scoundrels, you will need to know everything there is to know about them. Every minuscule detail. From their first names, to their family history, down to every last transaction they’ve ever made.”
Manager? Of Payback? You reiterated silently. And it made your cheeks burn hot. That’s the so called job your father had been making a fuss over? That’d you’d paid all the years of your life toward preparing for? It was the coldest bucket of ice water your father could’ve dumped atop your head, but it did nothing to quench and cool the fire you felt bristling within.
The file’s covers clapped together as you closed it and held it against your chest, where you heaved an exasperated breath beneath the provided cover. “So you want me to micromanage a bunch of reckless superheroes?” You asked with practiced patience—your tone cool and level despite the irritation drawing your jaw rigid. This was not the job you’d expected after all you’d endured. After all the relentless, soul-sucking training your father had subjected you to.
Your father’s gaze narrowed in on your expression with unveiled scrutiny, and your heart must’ve felt it through the stack of paper shielding it because it began to thump rapidly. “You’re perfect for the job,” he said decidedly, and it felt like a dagger had pierced your chest to still the earthquake within your heart that had been rattling you from within. “We all had to start somewhere, sweetheart. My father didn’t hand me the other rein to the company until I’d learnt how to mount the horse without a leg-up.”
You began stroking your thumb across the file’s cover in calming patterns as you held your father’s stare. “I’m capable,” you pushed out tensely. “You know I am.” I was made for more.—that’s all you’ve ever told me. So what fucked up game are you playing with me right now?
“You are,” he agreed nonchalantly, as though oblivious to the dagger he kept on plunging further and further into your heart. “And that’s why I’m not trusting just anybody to nurture the faces of this company. I’m trusting you.”
Oh, is that right? You laughed bitterly. Silently.
A long time ago, you’d made peace with the knowledge of the childhood you’d never gotten—friends, parties, terrestrial playtime, being care-free. You’d made peace with it because you hoped you’d have had the job to compensate your losses. A job worth a damn. But this? Helicopter parenting a bunch of super-abled, overgrown babies with scorching tempers? It felt like the biggest, rankest pile of stinking shit had been hurled at the door of your housed self-respect. Yet, a part of you felt anything but surprised—the part of you that shared your father’s DNA, and that knew exactly how his brain worked.
Clutching the file against your chest even tighter than before, you drew in a calming inhale, your lips settling on words of peace. “Okay,” was all you offered, knuckling under to avoid starting a war you knew you wouldn’t win. Not now, at least. Not anytime soon. But you’d show him. When the time was right, and you’d collected all the right cards from the corporate deck, you’d show your father just how much you were capable of achieving.
A satisfied hum reverberated in his chest. “Wonderful,” he said, shifting forward in his seat to whisk a hand through the city of stacked paperwork erected along his desk. “Tomorrow morning, I’ve arranged a meeting with Payback. I’ll have you introduced to the group and leave you all to get better acquainted. I expect Soldier Boy might make a show, but word has it that he’s just been plucked from another one of his benders in some city slump.”
Your father’s head shook disdainfully as he recalled the reported skirmish. “I don’t bother to hassle myself with that Supe’s shenanigans, anymore. This isn’t the first time that fool’s nearly dragged Vought’s name through the sewers with his reckless addiction,” he grumbled, glancing up at you with another file he’d plucked from some part of his desk. “As the new manager, you’ll have to keep an extra close eye on that one, sweetheart. Here,” he added, lifting the extra-reading in your direction.
You leaned forward to receive the folder, rotating it to decipher the upside-down text. Soldier Boy. You couldn’t help but scoff at the fact that he had his very own folder separate from the rest of the group. Oh, he had to be trouble, alright.
Out of curiosity, you tore your gaze away from the new addition to glance at your father. “What happened to the last manager, anyway?”
His head had buckled again to rummage through pages laden with script you couldn’t discern. “It’s logged in the last few pages of Soldier Boy’s records,” he said distractedly.
There was a lot to question about that single sentence, but you settled for the most prompting one. “Records?” You echoed with a frown.
Your father hummed confirmation. “You’ll need to log everything Soldier Boy gets up to. It’s the conditions the board settled on last time he was picked up from some party he’d turned bloody. You have to account for all hours of his day, make sure he’s rehearsed his written speeches before airings, and that he’s not floating in the skies of narcotics throughout it all. Though, the last task has proved impossible as of late. I don’t doubt he’s got an inside man supplying him. But with everything else Vought’s got going on, we can’t spare the men to hound that particular trail. As long as he keeps his nose clean while on the job,” he finished dryly, as though he knew his hope was severely misplaced.
Your frown deepened spitefully as you heeded Soldier Boy’s repute. “Why the hell is somebody like him still running this show? He clearly can’t even keep his own life together.”
Your outburst didn’t come as a surprise to your father, whose attention didn’t stray from his desk to soothe you. “No, he can’t,” he agreed. “But he’s been around long enough to warrant the hassle. Vought’s name has piggybacked off of Soldier Boy’s past—propaganda and all—for years, now. So, you try discreetly removing America’s sweetheart from the company and dealing with the outrageous consequences of the masses.” He laughed wryly.
“Besides, as insane as it might sound, we have better control over what that imbecile gets up to under this company’s roof. There’s no telling what bullshit he might spew to the streets if he was let go from his pride and joy.”
You pressed both files against your chest, eyebrow hitching thoughtfully. “Is there no way to. . . you know, neutralise him?” You asked carefully, half-expecting your father to whip you with a horrified glare. But it seemed as though your words were as natural as the next breath he took.
“We’ve tried,” he said simply, still fixated on the documents sprawled out before him. “We can’t. Not yet, at least. But they are working on a way to contain him.”
Your interest piqued greedily. This was the type of company secrets you’d hoped to get a taste of—important details. Something worth a damn. “Who’s they? And how?”
That was enough of a probe to earn his attention finally. He halted whatever document he was sorting through, eyes upturned to yours with an earnest glint. “You need not worry about that, sweetheart.” You bit down on your tongue woefully. “All I need you to do right now, is make sure that Payback is on their best behaviour. And keep Soldier Boy in check.”
The disappointment throttled your chest, making it hard to breathe and form any genuine words to acknowledge your purpose. So you watched in silence as your father averted his gaze to reach for a loose pile of documents, humming absentmindedly as he gathered them into a neat assembly. He paused to do a sweep of his desk before setting on his stationary box, where he reached to take up a stapler. He seemed to have forgotten you were here entirely.
“Is that all?” You piped up eventually.
The stapler hovered along the corner of the stacked pages as he glanced up at you briefly. “That’ll be all,” he confirmed. “Oh, and the meeting will be at eight a.m tomorrow morning,” he added.
“Right,” you murmured, trying your best to lighten the sound into something that resembled excitement, or at the very least, acceptance. “Goodnight,” you offered meekly, and with tonight’s work clutched tightly in both hands, you turned on your heels to make an exit.
You’d barely gotten into the rhyming click-clack of your departure before your father’s voice rung out across the space. “Sweetheart?”
You came to a slow halt, casting an apprehensive glance over your shoulder. “Yes, dad?”
He’d laced his fingers atop his desk, like a judge about to rule a decision. “Watch your back,” he advised, his expression softening into something that almost looked like concern. But you hadn’t thought it humanly possible of him. “Especially around Soldier Boy. He’s crude, and exploitative, and he won’t hesitate to try and sink his fangs into you.”
The corner of your lip quirked dryly. He didn’t sound like much of a challenge you weren’t already used to encountering on a day-to-day basis. “I can handle Soldier Boy,” you assured him.
His chin dipped in the slightest of nods—curt, but enough of an acknowledgement that made you yearn for another taste of his approval. You chided that voice. The voice of the little girl who’d done everything to mimic the exact footsteps her father had laid out amongst the sand. The little girl who’d rarely gotten praise for her many victories, but had been endlessly berated for her sparse failures. You silenced her.
When the time was right, when you’d worked hard enough to make something for yourself, you’d allow that voice to have a say once more. Only then, it wouldn’t voice pleas for your father’s approval, or beg for scraps of his company. It would be to acknowledge your own hard work, to raise up your own status, and to give yourself the encouragement you’d always sought from him.
You returned your father’s nod, and without lingering on him any longer, you turned and finally exited his office.
As you clattered down the winding hallways muffled by nighttime’s silence, your gaze drifted over to the looming windows in passing, noting how the sky’s starry army saluted you at intervals. You made a beeline for the elevator up ahead, which stood open in waiting, and thankfully, with nobody else inside. You slipped into the tiny, four-walled space and hit the button for your floor, watching as the doors trailed close with a rather dramatic creak. Definitely behind on maintenance. When you reached your designated floor, the elevator dinged and parted for you to step into the open, which you did hastily.
Your eyes bowed with exhaustion now. You’d need to brew a pot of coffee as soon as possible if you had any hopes of powering through your work in preparation for tomorrow. As you made your way down the hall, you heard the elevator depart behind you. Somebody must’ve pushed the summons button, and you hoped they weren’t en route toward your floor. The thought daunted you a bit, hastening your steps toward the door marking your suite. You didn’t have the energy to entertain conversation right now.
When you reached your abode, you clutched both files beneath one arm as your free hand reached into your blazer pocket, feeling out the security card that would grant you access. You plucked one out in a smooth motion between your index and middle finger, hand outstretching to hover it over the sensor. But the light declined you with a blaring red, and your brows furrowed as you brought it forward to study the details.
It was then that you noticed you’d pulled the wrong card—one that granted access to your father’s suite. You reached back into your pocket to swap it out for the only other card, and then in the distance, the elevator dinged open.
Oh, fuck me, you groaned internally.
You tossed a glance over your shoulder just in time to see who the doors had parted to reveal. The first thing you noticed was a couple, faces connected in a heated war of the lips. The woman was pressed against the back wall of the elevator, hands wrapped around the neck of a man in a uniform that would’ve looked misplaced if it hadn’t been worn inside of Vought’s building. A superhero uniform.
Your interest piqued a hundred times over, and you found yourself staring to gather more information. The man’s hands roamed the women’s waist in messy, hungry motions, tousling her clothes about the place. You squinted at the colours of his uniform, head craning forward an inch, and then instantly recoiled with a wide-eyed stare as you recognised the colours of Soldier Boy.
Just then, the woman pushed him back at the chest with an obnoxious giggle, uttering some shrill sentence that skipped the frequency of your hearing channels entirely. Soldier Boy’s laugh, however—deep and reverberating—didn’t go unnoticed. It graced your ears almost pleasantly, and you watched as he herded her out the elevator with an exploitative study of her behind.
You were immediately drawn to his striking face. You’d seen it countless times all across the city, but somehow, it didn’t do him the justice that an in-person encounter did. His hand came forward to cup the woman’s ass with a clap that echoed down the hallway, and she let out a delighted squeal then had him chuckling in success. Neither of them noticed you loitering further down the hallway.
You grimaced at the sight of Soldier Boy. Never meet your heroes—now that was a saying that was onto something. Not that Soldier Boy had ever been your hero. Still, it did help knowing just what sort of person you’d have to deal with so thoroughly. And despite knowing what you knew about him—courtesy of your father and your research—you wished this instance hadn’t been your first impression of him. You’d count your blessings, though because by the sounds of his reputation, this behaviour of his was nothing of note.
“Come on, baby,” Soldier Boy’s voice boomed through the quiet air. “Let’s get you back to the room, hopped up on some bennies, and then I’ll show ya the best night o’ fuckin’ your life, yeah?” He chuckled, hand stringing around her shoulder to guide her around a corner that plucked them both from your view. And thankfully, in a direction away from your suite.
Benzadrine and an illegal, after-hour guest? Boy, he was not up to a great start in your books. You should have pursued them both, halted them in their tracks and started your case before bleeding his ear with repercussions, but you didn’t. Instead, you pulled out the correct access card, scanned it in, and hummed contentedly as the suite parted for you to drift inside, leaving the day’s shit outside the door.
Technically, you weren’t on the job yet. So, whatever obvious mischief Soldier Boy was currently up to was anything but tonight’s problem. You had other things to tend to for tomorrow’s big day, and there, you’d meet the leader of the Supes, anyway. Good to see he was around, after all, but it was simultaneously a fact that had you clenching your jaw an inch.
You knew men like soldier boy—avoided them like the plague, usually. But this time, with a miserable job like the one you’d been stuck with, you’d have no choice but to work with him.
ミ☬彡
You’d hardly gotten sleep last night. Between sifting through the files of Payback’s history and learning the names of the important personnel you’d have to consult at least once in your life, you’d been busy. Busy was an understatement. You’d been drowning.
When the clock had struck five in the morning, you’d wrapped up the last of your reading to take a power nap until six, and then hopped straight into a much needed shower. After drying off, dressing proper and gathering the day’s documents into a case, you’d taken a moment to grab a quick bite to eat before heading to the meeting room.
For the sake of punctuality and practicality, it helped that you lived in Vought’s tower. You’d been assigned permanent residence in one of the suites tucked into the top floors, and if you’d skimmed the blueprint correctly, it was only two floors above where most of Payback was situated. Though, judging by last night’s encounter with Soldier Boy, you could deduce that he lived on the same floor as you—likely a show of his lead-Supe status. Great for him, bothersome for you.
You had to admit to yourself that living where you worked, and working where you lived was far from the ideal lifestyle, but there wasn’t much you could do to change it now. You could only endure, so endure you would. But first, a cup of coffee to kickstart your energy reserves was a must.
After a quiet elevator ride, you’d traversed the winding hallways to reach the double doors of the meeting room. When you slipped inside, you weren’t surprised to find the room completely empty. It was only a little over seven, and that gave you roughly an hour to cram in a little more reading before the rest of the crowd arrived.
You settled at one of the chairs tracing the circumference of the large, winding table. The shape was semi-circular with the middle hollowed out to allow for addressing the members as the centre of attention, and it was a position you’d find yourself in very soon.
Around you, the world drowned into non-existence as you began skimming the first of your pages, the minutes ticking by like fleeting seconds. When you checked your watch again, it read quarter to eight. You hoarded your notes back into your case, chair screeching aside as you wandered over to the corner of the room where the coffee machine idled. You began prepping enough coffee to fill the mugs of the first four people lucky enough to claim it, and sip on a hot cuppa to ease them into this morning’s meeting.
You hovered by the machine until it brewed finish, keeping your hands entertained by aimlessly rearranging the mugs and other clutter. You were feeling slightly anxious about this big day, but at the same time, thrilled. This was your first ever job, but one you knew you could handle and blossom within until something greater came along. Until you seized something greater for yourself.
You reached for the coffee pot and began filling your mug, and it was just then that you heard the doors to the meeting room slide open, loud chatter seeping into the quiet atmosphere you’d grown comfortable in. You glanced over your shoulder briefly to spot a mixture of smart, simple uniforms and more dramatic, colourful ones trailing inside—board members and Supes alike, streaming inside in unity.
You found yourself glancing away almost instantly, head dipping to the pot of coffee that you continued to pour until your mug was filled to the brim. Your heart started to beat a little faster, now, the reality of it all sinking in. But you paced a breath or two to steady your nerves before placing the pot back into the slot.
It’s okay, you’ve got this, you steadied silently. You can’t afford to make mistakes, your father’s voice chimed in, but you pushed it away with a light frown. Bringing your mug up to your lips, you took the first, hot sip, savouring the bitter taste of it before swallowing it tensely. The warmth was soothing as it slid down to your stomach, almost enough to lay off the edge entirely.
“Mornin’, sweetheart,” the first gruff voice of the morning furled through the air to harass you from some distance outside of your view. The vanity saturating his tone almost made you want to ignore it entirely, but as the daughter of Vought’s Executive with a reputation to uphold, it would be best not to soil both your family’s name—and your own—on your first day on the job—even if you had to bust a tooth or two clenching back biting remarks.
So, you lowered your mug back onto the table, your head jerking with a slight breath of patience. The corners of your lips quirked up in forced duty before you turned on your heels to face the man so determined to believe his every one-liner was some hypnotising spell.
You were instantly greeted by a handsome face modelling a potent grin—perfect white teeth that must’ve been tirelessly polished by his sense of self-importance. And his eyes, so impressively green, held this tantalising glint to them that almost made you not want to look away. The one and only Soldier Boy, even more striking this up close. But you had a feeling—many feelings—that his mouth was about to open to invalidate everything physically appealing about him.
“There she is,” he said lowly—a melodic rumble that managed to instil goosebumps along the nape of your neck. “A face as pretty as expected. Tell me, sweetheart, would you mind pourin’ me a cup? Black, and hold off on the sugar—unless you’re offerin’,” he added with an animated wink.
His use of sweetheart made your stomach curl in a manner that paled in comparison to the emotions your father evoked when addressing you. Maybe because everything Soldier Boy said felt like it came with unvoiced strings attached that you’d climb into his bed come the end of the day. And you wouldn’t even get started on the commercial wink he’d perfected to the point of being laughable outside of rolling cameras.
God, he was a faux-fest of charm.
“Oh,” you laughed dryly, head slightly tilting to one side, if only to scorn Soldier Boy further. “You must be mistaken, I don’t work for you.”
Soldier Boy’s eyes narrowed an inch. Whether it was from a place of surprise that you’d talk to him this way, or that—for once—he was being met with mockery rather than admiration, you had no idea. Didn’t care.
“Excuse me?” He chuckled carefully, but his gaze was anything but calculated as he did a bold sweep of your figure. “Everybody works for me, sweetheart,” he countered, eyes finding yours in a frown. “That’s kinda the perk that comes with bein’ Vought’s pocket-fillin’, undeniably handsome pussy-magnet, and the face of this entire operation, ‘course.”
“Well,” you chuckled, but it lacked humour. “Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people. But, if you’d like a cup of coffee, I’d be more than happy to step aside and let you pour one yourself.” The furrow in the Supe’s brows deepened at your bluntness, and you offered another forced smile before turning your back on him.
You did good on your word and side-stepped an inch to accommodate him while recollecting your own mug. But instead of sliding in beside you to fulfil his caffeine craving, Soldier Boy’s gloved palm came down on the countertop, his exposed fingers tapping at the wood.
“Bold,” he remarked sultrily. “I like it.” He brought himself forward to hover over your shoulder, the contact so close that you felt his chest graze your shoulder. Your head sank back an inch with a breath of patience as you turned to give him the attention he so clearly couldn’t live without.
“Can I help you with something?” You asked pointedly, your hands coming up to cradle your mug against your chest.
A faint grin stretched his lips as he peered down at you, his eyes narrowing on your every feature like you were an object of fascination that needed to be thoroughly studied. “Apparently not,” he chuckled lightly, slipping an intentional glance at your coffee. When he tuned back to eye-level, his chin jerked a small gesture in your direction. “What’d you say your name was, again?”
“I didn’t,” you answered vaguely, bringing your coffee to your lips for a sip. Your eyes didn’t stray from his as your nose dipped past the rim to drain a mouthful, and neither did his as he studied your every move with a twitching lip. You were testing his patience, alright. It made you grin against the porcelain.
“Right,” Soldier Boy cleared his throat, hand coming up from the counter to join his other in a cross against his broad chest. “Well, I’m sure I need no introduction,” he chuckled haughtily. “So, why don’t you tell me your name, sweetheart?”
You lowered your mug with a dramatic swallow, weaving a look of confusion through your features. “Yeah, I know who you are,” you said. The Supe quirked an eyebrow and gave a slight nod that said well, of course. “You’re The Boy Soldier, right?” And just like that, the grin was wiped clean from his face.
The Supe leaned himself into your vicinity. “You fuckin’ with me?” He murmured, as if the foul mouth on him was any secret.
You tilted your head in mock. “Obviously,” you shot back. “But it wouldn’t hurt you to learn some modesty.”
Soldier Boy’s lips quirked with a scheme as he softened his glare. “Oh, yeah? You gonna teach me?” He jeered.
You held his stare levelly. “Careful,” you warned, your fingers tightening around the body of your mug.
The Supe relented an inch at that, tall frame straightening to full height as he stopped encroaching on your space. “Not really my style, sweetheart.”
“It should be. Especially around me,” you retorted, leaving the statement to dangle in front of his face as you brought your mug up for another sip.
Suddenly, Soldier Boy’s expression tackled something other than a shit-eating smirk, his charm sobering up into a look of apprehension. “The hell you on ‘bout?” He demanded in a hushed, but gruff tone. “Who are you?”
You downed the last of your coffee, turning to lower the mug onto the coffee table with a deliberate slowness that made the Supe grimace and draw his lower lip into a frustrated bite.
“Enough o’ the goddamn theatrics,” he snapped, hand coming down rather firmly onto the coffee table. A second later, he was glancing around to see if he’d drawn any attention, and you did the same, only to find that everybody was far too absorbed in their own conversation to eavesdrop yours.
Glancing back at Soldier Boy, you caught his returning eye with raised brows. “What? The entertainment industry got you sick of the suspense?” You jabbed. His jaw clenched, causing you to huff a soft breath of satisfaction.
“Who am I?” You continued more seriously. “I’m just somebody that saw you sneaking in your pick of the Soldier Boy kiss-ass litter last night. And, I heard you offering her drugs, no less. Not a great look when you’re supposed to be following some sort of rehab program, you know, as per the terms of your last. . . probation, if you will.”
The Supe’s face tensed with the knowledge of getting caught, and it made your chest brim with satisfaction, but it was short-lived as he took a step closer to size you up and glare you down. “Yeah? And what about it, huh?” He murmured. “You think anybody’s gonna believe a single world outta your mouth? Over me—the Soldier Boy?” He gave a huff of laughter, gaze averting to the side for a second before narrowing on you again. “Sweetheart, you have no idea who you’re messin’ with.”
You raked your glare across his figure, as if trying to comprehend his audacity. “And you think that you do?” You shot back, your own arms coming up in a cross of restraint.
The gesture was enough to earn the Supe’s attention with a condescending smirk and hitch of his brow, which only made it all the more pleasurable to continue.
“Have you forgotten that you have no idea who I am?” You pointed out. “Besides, do you actually think that your word means anything to any person with a functioning brain? You’ve got the entirety of Vought elbow-deep in NDAs and rampant insomnia trying to cover this company’s ass after all of your reckless stunts. So trust me when I say that your word is as valued as a toddler crying wolf.”
The Supe’s chin perked with the slightest, almost imperceptible movement, clearly reflecting on your speech while simultaneously attempting to conceal a mixture of indignation and unease—because Soldier Boy wouldn’t be caught dead quivering before anybody. If there’s one thing you could thank your father for, it was his unintentional hand in teaching you how to decipher a man’s mind.
Eventually, the Supe mustered up his remaining nerve, his lip taking on a slight quiver of some emotion you couldn’t exactly place. It looked. . . ailed, but his brows were so intent on memorising discontent. “You gonna tell me who you are, sweetheart, or are you just here to tease my dick til I give you somethin’ to show for it, hm?” He asked in a low murmur.
You squinted at the mouth on him. “Don’t worry, you’ll find out who I am—soon enough,” you told him, and the ambiguity made the Supe glance off to the side with a muffled for fuck sakes.
Just then, one of the board members—a shorter, elegantly dressed lady—politely inserted herself between the two of you with a soft-spoken greeting. Your attention flickered over to where she reached to pour herself a mug of coffee, then back to where Soldier Boy remained glaring you down—only silenced by the newcomer’s presence. A blissful silence. You took that as your opportunity to ditch his interrogation, flashing him one last grin before you turned on your heels and moved back to where you’d left your belongings at the table.
You gathered your things together and set it down at your seat, and it wasn’t long before the chatter around you died down, your father streaming in through the doors. Almost immediately, members were rushing to take up their seats. In either side of you, you were faced with a man and woman dressed smartly, who introduced themselves as part of the board. You exchanged your own name, but purposely neglected revealing your second name. That would come in due time—undoubtedly attached to some degree of judgement. But for now, you’d savour the last remaining moments of peace that came with your mystery.
“Good morning, all,” your father greeted, and the crowd sizzled with softer reciprocations. He brought himself to stand in the centre of the space, doing a quick turn to drink in all the surrounding faces, his stare stuttering on the view of you. He offered a small nod, which you reciprocated subtly, and then he was turned back to addressing the rest of the room’s occupants.
Just past him, on the opposite curve of the table, you saw Soldier Boy slink into his seat of choice. He caught your eye almost instantly, and already, you could see some degree of puzzle-piecing taking place amid his expression—especially as he gauged your seat amongst important personnel, as opposed to watching you leave the room with the other assistants.
That’s right, you chuckled internally, holding his stare boldly. I’m here to stay.
Soldier Boy was drawn rigid in his seat as he endured your visual probing, the singular, gloved hand he’d come to rest on the table subtly tapping at the wood. Eventually, he averted his gaze off to the side, like he’d grown exasperated with your attention, and you birthed a light smirk before turning your focus back to your father.
For the first half the meeting, he gave a quick rundown on Vought’s current dealings, soliciting input from some of the gathered board members on new strategies and information they may have. It was knowledge public enough for the Supes to listen in on, but they did so deploringly—as if it were a waste of their precious time. Your attention snagged onto Soldier Boy in particular, whose glare had wandered back over to you in the short time you’d spent ignoring him. Now, it seemed as though he just couldn’t neglect you, not even for a second.
You knew that his mind was likely on a rampage of nagging thoughts about who you were and just what the hell else you knew about him. And each time you caught his eye, you let nothing on, despite the mean amusement that made you want to grin boldly. Is this what having powers felt like? Yours was a lot less tangible than a Supe’s, but still real enough to have an effect—if Soldier Boy was any testament to that.
The meeting droned on for a while longer before your father was clearing his throat with the claim of an important announcement, and the crowd equipped a new sense of interest. Even the surrounding Supes seemed to perk, some even slipping you a glance, as though they expected you might finally be introduced. And you were.
Your father’s head turned toward you, his hand outstretching in a beckon as he called your name. “Please, join me,” he said.
You would’ve gladly done so without a second thought, but then he continued onto summoning another person to his side—and of course, it had to be Soldier Boy. You watched as the Supe made haste on his summons, intentionally avoiding your deploring eye as he drew up beside your father.
With a small, preparatory breath, you moved to relieve yourself from the table, the atmosphere falling silent enough to emphasise the harsh screech of your chair as you straightened up. You worked your way around the other seated members, turning the table’s corner to join Soldier Boy at your father’s other side—in the centre of it all.
When you reached the waiting pair, you tried not to directly acknowledge the tense scrutiny etched across Soldier Boy’s face as he watched you enter the bubble of importance. But in the corner of your eye, you caught the way he shifted his weight between his boots, and the slight, choked clearing of his voice. It coaxed forward a grin that tugged at your lips, but for the sake of remaining professional, you pursed them to ease it off.
Your father’s hand outstretched to receive you at your back as he ushered you beside him, head turning to address the room. “For those of you who haven’t yet met her, this is my daughter,” he began, sparing you a brief, enigmatic glance. “In fact, today marks the first day that she enters the Vought family—as the new manager of Payback.”
Soft murmurs of surprise arose from the gathered people, and you couldn’t help but do a sweep of the peering faces. Most of the board members looked faintly surprised, heads tilting together as they exchanged hushed words. But the rest of the crowd—the Supes, looked almost exhilarated, like you were a new game to be played. You knew it was likely an attempt to scare you off, but if anything, it only made you feel more determined.
Still, your attention didn’t stray to where Soldier Boy stood. But you guessed he must’ve looked a combination of every member’s shock.
Your father cleared his throat, and it was the singular sound needed to quiet the room once more. “I expect great things for this company moving forward,” he continued, and you were faced with the back of his head as he glanced over at Soldier Boy. “Let us seize this new change with vigour, and show America why we are worthy of being her face.”
All around you, the members erupted with scattered claps, but as the seconds dragged on, it became more paced and prominent. You found yourself modelling a proud smile as you gazed upon the room, feeling a new sense of importance.
Maybe, just maybe, you could work with this job.
Around you, the room lit up with chatter and the shrill voices of moving chairs as the meeting dispersed. Your father’s hand on your back drifted away as he retreated a step, earning your attention back to him—and regrettably, Soldier Boy, who was now in appreciable view of you.
The Supe’s expression was stoic as he glared at you, but you saw the muscle of his jaw flicker when you met his gaze, and the way his hands had drawn into tense fists at his side.
Your father turned to face Soldier Boy. “Ben,” he addressed him—you’d almost forgotten the Supe’s very normal name, but you’d pocket it for a time when you could best use it to your advantage.
The Supe angled his body an inch to face your father, but not without sparing you a quick, accusing glance. “Sir,” he cleared his throat thickly.
If your father noticed the silent, ricocheting tension between yourself and Soldier Boy, he didn’t show it. “You’ll find that my daughter and you are quite alike,” your father said.
You grimaced at that observation, which must’ve been potent enough to beckon to the corner of the Supe’s eye because he flashed you a look of subtle offence before modelling neutrality more.
“But I hope that in your similarities, you will find yourselves working synergistically, rather than butting heads.” Your father’s words sounded oddly optimistic—almost cheesy, but you knew that everything he was saying was an indirect warning that the Supe not stir up trouble. A naive hope.
The hands Soldier Boy had bundled at his sides released to loop around his back, chin tilting up slightly to embody the essence of his name. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he answered hoarsely, then added, “sir.”
“Good,” your father murmured, a satisfied look settling into his sharp features. “Now, let us formalise this new partnership with a handshake,” he decided, his attention straying over to where you waited in silence.
“Handshake?” The Supe echoed almost dumbly, earning a side-long glance from your father.
“Is there a problem, Ben?”
Soldier Boy’s frown reached you briefly before he glanced back at your father, eyes narrowing before he lifted his head determinedly. “No, sir,” he answered firmly. And then, without further command, he took initiative by releasing his formation and strolling over to where you stood.
“I’ll leave you two to it,” your father said with a quick nod, before he strayed toward the crowd of chirping board members.
Tensely, Soldier Boy drew up before you, his gloved hand outstretching into your vicinity. When you glanced him in the eye, he looked as though he were attempting to probe your mind. Your lips stretched with a smile that was meant to be polite, but that you knew came off far too smug, and you lifted your own hand to link with his.
“I look forward to working with you, Soldier Boy,” you said, your voice clear-cut and ringing through the tense air circulating between you two—connecting all that you were.
The Supe’s lips quirked into a one-sided, insincere smirk, scrutiny heavy on his brows. But he said nothing, much to your didappintment. With a soft hm, you loosened your fingers in an attempt to shake his hold and terminate the handshake, but then his grip on you tightened, stilling you in your tracks.
“I’m sure you do, sweetheart,” he finally answered, his typical, mischievous demeanour making a formidable comeback. “I ain’t gonna lie, you’ve perched yourself on one helluva dick by takin’ on this job. But, you strike me as the typa gal that loves a challenge, so I’m gonna make damn fuckin’ sure you get it,” he promised lowly, delivering one more meaningful squeeze to your palm before you found it strung up against his lips with a single, strong pull.
There, he pressed his lips to your knuckles in a chaste kiss—an action so far from expected that you’d seized into speechless confusion. The intense green of his eyes seemed to gleam brighter as he drank in your reaction to his touch, and when he withdrew his lips and lowered your hand, you found him modelling a charming grin.
You yanked your hand free of his touch, arm flying back to your side in rigidity. “You—” you attempted to chide, but your tongue trampled itself into a hot, speechless mess. And at your side, upon the knuckles Soldier Boy had branded, you felt the lingering sensation of his lips.
“Me?” The Supe entertained, head tilting almost mockingly.
You felt your cheeks simmer, but not with embarrassment—just sheer frustration. “Behave yourself, Ben,” you choked out, arms coming up in a cross.
His expression beamed with a look of pleasant surprise, and then he was humming in approval. “Say that again,” he urged, eyes narrowing devilishly. “I could get used to the sound o’ my name on those pretty lips o’ yours,” he chuckled.
Your head tilted at his toying. “Really? Even if it’s as I’m reporting last night’s little house-party bender to the board?” You retorted. Soldier Boy’s light immediately dulled at that, and you quirked your eyebrows in accomplishment. “I expected as much,” you huffed, arms unfurling back to your side. “I’ll be seeing you around.”
And with that, you turned and took your departure, leaving Soldier Boy in the stunned rear. Just when you thought you’d heard the last of his voice for today, his insistence trailed after you in one last statement.
“Don’t be shy, sweetheart, I’ll be waitin’.”
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a/n ─ first off, sincerely sorry that i took so long to get this request out, anon!! one thing about me is that i do tend to take long with writing but literally only bc i am way too hard on myself (perfectionist tingz) and always end up changing things 10000 times until im satisfied. secondly, this dynamic is so scrumptious pls, i really enjoyed fleshing it out—anon your mind is amazing. i split this into two parts bc it became a long one (as it always does with me) and it’s already written, but i’ll be releasing it at a later stage just to edge you all 😵‍💫 not sure when yet tho as i’m driving back to college sat and i’m super busy as of now but i’ll keep yall posted. i hope you all enjoyed this first part! also my & @floralscented’s world both collided with this request so i encourage all you lovely people to go and check out her take on it as well!! i don’t think there will ever be too much of this pairing 🙂‍↕️
thank you for reading!! please show your support with likes, comments & reblogs—they are deeply appreciated ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀི
tags ─ @gibson-g1rl @bohemianblasphemy @fallbhind @angelicjackles @deansbbyx @titsout4jackles @starzify @ultravi0lence14 @floralscented @deansbeer @deansbbyx @figthoughts @dulcescorderitas @whisperingdaze @st4rmarley
want to become a part of the taglist for any future soldier boy works?
other works ─ the boys masterlist
© bluemerakis ─ do not plagiarise or steal any of my works.
414 notes · View notes
m1ckeyb3rry · 1 year ago
Note
hi mira can i pls req a sae x reader and it’s like falling in love with someone. like you know that feeling when you’re really getting to know someone and it sounds like a soft song
i love uu take care x
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Synopsis: Thanks to a chance encounter on the beach, you spend your vacation trying to apologize to the famous soccer player you inadvertently offended. Unfortunately, Sae Itoshi has other plans.
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Event Masterlist
Pairing: Sae x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 11.6k
Content Warnings: love at first sight, fluff, humor, teasing as a love language, sae does not understand emotions or relationships but he’s rich asf, reader has a little brother and loves eating, meet-cutes, summer romance, SEAGULLS
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A/N: although sae is a difficult character for me to get a hold of, i ended up having fun with this LMAO as i’m sure you can tell by the massive word count 😭 i hope he’s not horribly ooc or anything and that this is kind of what you were looking for anon!! tysm for requesting and ily too <3
Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.
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You tried to evaluate the series of choices you had made which had led to you lying atop a boy with green eyes and sand smeared across his cheeks, a blank expression on his face despite the way you were literally sprawled over him.
First: your family had decided to spend your summer vacation in Spain. This was innocuous and broad enough, considering how large the country was, so you concluded that your brother’s desire to practice his rudimentary Spanish in a more realistic setting than his high school classroom could not be blamed for your plight.
Second: your father had gotten a great deal on rooms in a luxury beachfront hotel. He was like a bloodhound when it came to haggling and discounts, so it wasn’t a surprise that you were staying in such a nice place for a relatively cheap price — and with a complimentary breakfast every morning, too! Anyways, the hotel had its own private pool that you could’ve been lounging around beside, so that probably wasn’t the cause, either.
Third: your mother had told you that the beach within walking distance of the hotel was famous for its smooth waters and pale sand. You had to visit at least once, according to her and every other travel guide written about the region, but since no one had wanted to go with you, you had decided to go alone, bringing a book, a bottle of sunscreen, and a blanket with you, throwing a dress on over your swimsuit and preparing yourself to spend the entire day soaking in the sun’s rays. This was definitely a contributor to your current predicament, although considering the miles of beach that stretched out in both directions as far as the eye could see where you could’ve been instead of right there, it wasn’t the sole factor.
Fourth: you had thought you would get hungry at some point and had had the foresight to bring a sandwich with you. That was definitely the reason. If only you hadn’t been so concerned with your stomach! If only you had just sucked it up and made the trek back to the hotel upon feeling peckish instead of being so lazy and planning ahead, you wouldn’t be in this situation.
“Can you get off of me?” the boy groaned.
“I am so sorry!” you said, scrambling to your feet and offering him your hand. He did not take it, standing on his own and doing his best to wipe the sand from his face. Then he shook his head like a dog, shaking out the grittiness from his soft hair. “I’m really sorry. I was just running so fast, and I was so worried about my sandwich that I didn’t notice you were there until it was too late!”
“Sandwich?” he said. A few paces away, a seagull landed, the remnants of your lunch held in its beak. You and the boy watched as it tilted its head back, swallowing the last few bites before cawing at you in satisfaction.
“You pig!” you shouted, pointing at it, the boy beside you temporarily forgotten as you fumed over the loss. It cocked its head at you. “That was mine!”
“Ah,” the boy said. “Your sandwich.”
The seagull hopped towards you, like it was teasing you or something, and you screeched before diving at it. Satisfied with the mischief it had caused and the food it had stolen, as well as with making a fool out of you, the seagull took wing, flying well out of reach and leaving you facedown on the ground, your stomach grumbling sadly and emptily.
A foot nudged against your rib cage. “Hey. Sandwich girl. You’re not concussed, are you?”
Being referred to as sandwich girl was so humiliating that you were instantly pushing yourself into a sitting position, folding your arms across your chest as you gazed up at the boy, who still wore that same unimpressed expression from when you had barreled into him.
“No,” you said.
“That’s great,” he said, though he did not sound particularly concerned nor relieved. “Mind elaborating a bit more on why you ran me over? You could’ve seriously injured me, and then you would’ve been in a bunch of trouble.”
“You would’ve been in a bunch of trouble,” you mocked, making your voice high and smarmy. “Jeez, what are you, some kind of celebrity or something? I ran you over because I was taking a break from reading my book, and I realized that I was hungry. Well, luckily, I had brought a sandwich along with me, so it wasn’t a huge deal. I was just about ready to dig in, when that fat pig of a bird swooped down and stole it right out of my hands! The gall! The shamelessness! It was definitely laughing at me, and I can’t stand anyone who laughs at me, so naturally I took off in pursuit, and, uh, that’s how I ended up crashing into you. Though you really should’ve been paying more attention, too. What’s so fascinating about the horizon that you just blocked out the rest of the world for it?”
“I like looking at the ocean,” he said. “But, wait. What do you mean, some kind of celebrity? Don’t you know who I am?”
You gave him a once-over. He was tall, though not impressively so, and definitely well-muscled. His hair was a warm shade, and his green eyes were framed with long eyelashes that fluttered every time he blinked. A pair of sunglasses was perched atop the crown of his head, and the top few buttons of his white shirt were undone, lending him a breezy appearance.
“You’re not handsome enough to be an actor, so that can’t be it,” you said, chewing on your lower lip in thought. “Plus, I’ve seen a bunch of movies, and I’m pretty sure you haven’t been in any of them, so if you were in the film industry, you’d be a D-lister at best, and there’s no way you’d want to flex that kind of status.”
He furrowed his brow, the first hint of a different expression than the one he had kept for the entirety of your very brief acquaintance. “What?”
“What else are people famous for?” you said. “Oh! Are you a singer or something? Were you in that one boy band from a few years ago? I’m sorry, I was too busy having a ‘not-like-other-girls’ phase when they were popular, so I never got into them. I’m over the phase now, if you were wondering, but that would be why I didn’t recognize you.”
“You are amazingly off the mark,” he said.
“I am? I’m kind of out of ideas at this point, though. Can I have a hint or something?” you said.
“Do you watch soccer?” he said. You made a face.
“Hell no,” you said. His eye twitched, so you hurried to elaborate. “My little brother is obsessed with it, so by law, I’m required to hate everything related to the sport. Do you have any siblings? You’d get it if you did.”
“Ask your brother about Sae Itoshi,” he said.
“Okay,” you said, drafting a text to your brother and sending it when you had deemed it to be a perfect blend of uninterested and cool while also underscoring the urgency of the request. “So, your name’s Sae Itoshi? I’m Y/N L/N! I’m not a celebrity, though. If you text anyone and ask them about me, they’ll probably be pretty confused.”
“Yeah, I got that impression,” he said. Your phone vibrated in your hand, and when you looked at the notification, you saw that it was from your brother.
uglier sibling: no shit i know about sae itoshi. he’s that one super talented midfielder on re al. he’s dad and i’s fav player atm.
You gulped, glancing up at Sae before returning to your phone.
me: lol wtf is re al.
uglier sibling: it’s madrid’s team lmfaooo dumbass how do you not know that
uglier sibling: actually wait why are u even asking lol
uglier sibling: did u meet him or something
me: funny story actually!
uglier sibling: WHAT
uglier sibling: y/n are u with sae itoshi rn.
uglier sibling: y/n answer pls
uglier sibling: can you at least get his autograph for me or smth???
Pretending like you were still texting your brother, you typed the name Sae Itoshi into your phone’s search engine. The photos that came up matched the boy in front of you, and the news articles made your heart pound. He actually was a celebrity, and furthermore, his earlier arrogance was deserved. If you had somehow injured such a famous player and put him out of commission for the season, then you really would’ve been done for. It hadn’t been an exaggerated sense of self-importance but an honest evaluation of himself.
“Ahem,” you said, feigning a cough to appear dignified and mature. “It seems like you are a pretty well-known soccer player, Mr. Itoshi.”
“It seems like I am,” he said.
“My brother and dad are big fans, apparently,” you said.
“Good thing you didn’t take me out permanently, then, or I’m sure they would’ve been pretty disappointed,” he said.
You cringed. “I’m sorry again.”
“Whatever. I won’t hold it against you; all’s well that ends well, after all,” he said.
“I feel really bad, though,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?”
“You didn’t do anything, so there’s nothing to make up for,” he said.
“Not true! I knocked you over and said you’re not handsome!” you said. “I’d say that warrants some kind of recompense.”
“It’ll warrant more recompense if you keep saying it,” he said.
“You agree that you deserve payment, then? Great! Um…how about I…buy you lunch?” you said, the insistent pangs of your stomach reminding you that you still hadn’t eaten.
“Is food the only thing you can think about?” he said.
“For your information, it is not, but I haven’t eaten since the morning, so I’m hungry,” you said.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he said. “It’s okay. I’m not interested, and just so you know, I’ve been asked out by plenty of girls, but by far, this has been the lamest attempt.”
You supposed, looking back, that it did seem like that was your end goal. But, of course, it had been nothing of the sort; you were just planning on going to eat yourself and thought that you might as well kill two birds with one stone. It was just your luck that he had twisted your words into such a request, though! How were you supposed to maneuver yourself out of this position? If you denied it furiously, then it would seem like you were just ashamed at getting caught, but if you didn’t say anything, then it would be akin to agreeing with his accusation.
There was only one way out of it, and even though you were usually opposed to lying, and even more opposed to bullying others, it was the only thing you could think of. So, bowing your head, you clasped your hands together in front of your heart.
“I’m sorry, but you’re not my type, Mr. Itoshi,” you said. “Like I said, you’re really not that handsome. Also, I’m into tall guys.”
That was how you found yourself sitting across from Sae Itoshi in a private booth at a fancy restaurant, your hands trembling as you read over the menu items and their associated prices.
“I’m in the mood for steak,” Sae said, stroking his chin and setting down his menu, interlacing his fingers and raising his eyebrows at you. “What about you?”
“Steak is a dinner item, don’t you think?” you said, your head spinning at the fact that he had picked the most expensive thing that was served at the entire establishment. “It’s lunchtime.”
“I’m an athlete,” he said seriously. “I need a lot of protein in all of my meals. Especially because I’m so short. It’s important for me to build muscle, don’t you agree? How else will I manage to compete with the taller, better-looking players?”
“Steak it is,” you said with a faux smile. “As for me, I’ll just get crackers.”
“Crackers? What kind of lunch is that?” he said.
“An affordable one,” you muttered under your breath.
“What?” he said.
“Nothing!” you said. “It’s nothing. I just really like crackers.”
He gave you an odd look. “Alright.”
You waved the waiter over. He had been hovering around your table for the past few minutes, and as soon as he saw you beckoning him, he sprinted to your side, fumbling with his pen and notepad before reaching you and bowing.
“Sae Itoshi, sir! I’m sorry to interrupt your date, but I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan of yours. If — if it’s not too much trouble, could I have your autograph?” he said.
Sae sighed, a long-suffering and irritable sigh. “Just take our order first. I’ll give it to you after we’ve eaten.”
“Oh, my apologies,” the waiter said. “What would you like?”
“I’ll have the steak, and I also want this sandwich, but omit the tomatoes, please,” he said, pointing at the menu items he wanted.
“Got it,” the waiter said. “What about you, miss?”
“Just the crackers,” you said. The waiter paused, but when you did not say anything more, he giggled nervously.
“Would you, uh, like some cheese with those?” he said.
“Nope,” you said. “I’m really the biggest fan of plain crackers. That’s all I want.”
“Sure, miss, if that’s what you’d like,” he said. “So, one steak, one sandwich, and a plate of crackers?”
“That’s right,” Sae said, hardly looking up from his phone when he did so. It was only once the waiter had run off to place your orders that he put the device away, resting his elbows against the table, setting his chin in his hands and giving you a bored look. “Why are you glaring at me?”
“Steak and a sandwich, really?” you said.
“A conversation with you was more than enough to increase my appetite,” he said. “Forget about that. This is the part where you ask me questions about myself and I pretend like I am interested enough to answer them.”
“Why would I do that?” you said, rolling your eyes at him. “Actually, I’m pretty sure your answer to that question will be something that makes me even more annoyed than I already am, so don’t bother. What’s your favorite movie?”
“You’re not going to ask me about soccer?” he said. “It’s Taxi Driver, by the way.”
“I don’t know that much about soccer, so what would I even ask? Based on what I’ve seen from the matches my brother and dad watch, it’s just a bunch of sweaty guys kicking around a ball and pretending like they’re dying whenever another player happens to look at them the wrong way,” you said. “Oh, actually, I am curious about that. How many of those injuries are real? Have you ever faked getting hurt?”
“Almost none of them,” he said. “Generally, players will overreact for the sake of entertainment and the possibility of the opposition receiving yellow cards. I’ve never needed to do anything like that, and I never want to, because it looks stupid. Also, soccer is more than that mediocre description you just gave me.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” you said. “Man kick ball. Ball go in net. Man happy. That’s the extent of it.”
“Women play soccer, too,” he said.
“It’s the same concept there, but with women instead of men. Not the argument you thought it was,” you said.
“I can’t believe you actually dislike soccer,” he said.
There was definitely some irony in the fact that you couldn’t care less about his chosen sport, and yet you were the one who had somehow finagled your way into eating with him — even if you were the one who was paying. There were so many people who’d do anything to be in your place, but to you, it was a begrudging chore that you were only performing because you felt obligated to. Mentally, you had already marked the entire encounter down as something that you’d laugh about to your friends later; a fun story you’d tell at parties, but little else.
“Like I told you earlier, I’m the older sister. If I didn’t rag on my brother’s interests, then I couldn’t claim that title in any way that mattered,” you said. Sae’s eyes flicked down to the ground.
“You should be nice to your brother when you can,” he said.
“Are you some kind of an only child or saint, then? There’s no way you’re saying that if you have a normal relationship with any possible siblings,” you said.
“I have a little brother,” he said. “Our relationship is okay. I haven’t seen him in a while, though.”
“Long distance?” you said, reaching over to pat him on the hand sympathetically. “That’s the worst. I miss my friends and my pets already, and I’m only here for vacation.”
He snatched his hand away. “You make it sound like we’re dating or something. It’s alright. I’m sure it’ll be the same as it was whenever I go back.”
“True, it’s not like he can dump you and find a new brother who’s both better and more conveniently located than you are. He’s kind of stuck with you forever,” you said.
“Enough about my brother,” he said. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“Okay,” you said. “What TV shows do you watch when you’re bored?”
The two of you continued on in that mindless manner until your food arrived. Your mood, which had steadily been rising as Sae proved himself to be, if nothing else, a willing conversationalist, rapidly plummeted as the waiter set the steak and sandwich in front of Sae and the crackers in front of you.
“Enjoy your meal,” the waiter said.
“I’m sure one of us will,” you said, picking up a cracker and biting into it rebelliously. Sae began to cut his steak into small pieces, using his fork to demurely place the meat on his tongue, doing nothing to disguise the indulgence of eating such a wonderfully prepared meal while you were stuck with crackers.
“What a shame,” Sae said when he was about halfway through his steak. You hadn’t spoken since the food had come, mostly because you were too busy fervently hoping that he would choke and you would somehow be awarded a free meal as an apology on the restaurant’s part, so you jumped at the sound of his voice cutting through the silence. “My eyes were bigger than my stomach. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat that sandwich after all.”
“We should send it back, then,” you said.
“What sort of place do you think this is?” he said. “It’s already been ordered, so it’s ours now.”
“Are you serious?” you said. “What now? I’ll have to pay for something that you didn’t even eat!”
“You’ll just have to have it,” he said.
“Me?” you said, already salivating at the delectable sandwich, the bread which was taunting you. Come, it seemed to be calling out to you. Eat me. You know you want to. “I guess that’s a sensible prospect. Someone’s going to have to take it.”
“Someone will,” he agreed, sliding the plate across the table and stealing a cracker for his troubles. “It might as well be you. My coach will be pretty upset if I get stomach cramps next season because I overate too much on my off time. I’d have to tell him that it was your fault, and then you’d have all of Re Al after you, and you don’t want that. They’re relentless.”
Your fingers inched towards the sandwich. “I definitely don’t. That sounds scary.”
“It would be amusing,” he said. “A waste of resources, though. They might cut my salary to make up for it. ”
“Then the only solution is for me to eat this sandwich,” you said.
“Essentially,” he said. You gave in, taking an enormous bite of the tantalizing sandwich and exhaling in delight. It really was as good as the exorbitant price tag claimed it would be, and although you would never buy such a thing for yourself, you found that you were a little more grateful for the series of events that had led you to be in this position now that your stomach was finally being greeted with something substantial.
“It’s good,” you said, your words muffled by the napkin you held in front of your mouth as you finished chewing. “I can kind of get why they charge so much now. It’s still way more than any sandwich should ever cost, ever, but…I kinda get it. Is your food good, too?”
“It is,” he said.
“Alright!” you said, giving him a double thumbs up. “Then you can consider this a worthy apology! Let’s finish eating and be done with the entire mess.”
“Hm? But how can it be a worthy apology when I’m the one who paid for everything? To me, that doesn’t sound like an apology at all,” he said. You froze, your mouth wide open, the sandwich still halfway to your mouth and drooping in your hands. Sae looked at you, still expressionless, though if you really focused, you would’ve noticed something like mirth dancing in his irises.
“What do you mean?” you said. He unlocked his phone and showed you his screen.
“You can pay by app here,” he said. “I did it as soon as we were done ordering. I was going to tell you after you ordered what you wanted for yourself, but I wasn’t expecting you to be so frugal that you’d really only order crackers!”
“But — but I was supposed to pay! To apologize for—”
“You don’t have to say it,” Sae said sourly, cutting you off. “Believe me, I remember exactly what you have to apologize for, and I’m not going to forget. I just paid this time because I was feeling generous, but you still owe me.”
It was a little suspicious, but you didn’t have any reason to accuse him of anything, so you only narrowed your eyes at him. Taking another bite of your sandwich, you mulled over the latest reveal. He was paying for the entire lunch? You still owed him? You could manipulate that in your favor, then.
“Tomorrow morning, I’ll pay for your breakfast,” you said. “The hotel I’m staying at has complimentary breakfast for guests, but outsiders can eat for a certain fee. I’ll pay for your entrance, and then we can be even.”
“Sure,” he said. “I eat breakfast early, though.”
“How early?” you said.
“I have a snack at 7:00 a.m., before I go for my morning run, and then I eat a proper meal afterwards,” he said.
“Oh!” you said. “Any chance you could not do that?”
“It’s part of my training regimen,” he said. “How about you pay for my food and come on my run with me?”
“I hate running,” you said.
“You’re apologizing. It’s supposed to be an agonizing process,” he said. “You’ve called me short and ugly at least three separate times already, not to mention the entire slamming into me ordeal. It’s really the least you can do.”
“7:00 it is,” you said, though you were fighting back tears at the mere thought of getting up so early while on vacation. “Give me your phone.”
“No way,” he said, holding the phone away from you while you tried to swipe at it. “What are you going to do, post something embarrassing on my social media accounts?”
“Why would I do that?” you said. “I was going to text myself so I had your number and could send you my location for tomorrow.”
“Or you could tell me which hotel you’re staying at now, and then my phone is entirely removed from the equation,” he suggested.
“Do you think I remember the name?” you said. “That’s a rhetorical question, by the way. I don’t.”
He handed you his phone with an aggravated huff. “Fine. Don’t abuse the privilege. I only give important people my contact information.”
“Woah, you really are stingy,” you said, scrolling through his contacts list. All of them either had the designation of work attached to their profiles, or they were clearly members of Sae’s family.
Clicking on the plus sign in the corner, you created a new contact for yourself, typing in your number and giving yourself the name Y/N L/N — sandwich. It fit the naming conventions he had going on, and if it weren’t for the reminder that you were the so-called ‘sandwich girl’, you doubted he would remember who you were in the first place.
“Of course I am. Imagine I gave every crazy fan I met my number. I’d have a million stalkers before you could say Re Al,”he said.
“I’m not a crazy fan. To clarify, I’m not a fan in the first place,” you said, texting yourself from his number before taking out your own phone and responding to the message with a thumbs up.
“Correct, which is why you get my number,” he said.
“I feel so honored,” you said dryly. “Actually, you know what? I would feel honored, if it weren’t for the fact that you’re only giving it to me because you want to wake me up at an unholy hour and make me run with you before paying for your breakfast.”
“Would you rather pay for this meal?” he said, showing you the receipt he had been emailed. Your eyes widened, and then you shook your head rapidly.
“Nope! See you tomorrow!”
The next morning, you tiptoed around the hotel room as you got ready, trying your best not to wake your mother up. She, and the rest of your family, had been up late last night, going out for dinner and dessert well past your bedtime. Far too embarrassed to tell them the realreason you were going to sleep early, you had said you were sick and went to bed as soon as the sun set.
Angrily gnawing on a granola bar from your mother’s emergency stash, you stomped down the spiraling hotel staircase, your eyes still bleary as you texted your family group chat that you were going out for a morning walk but would be back for breakfast.
Sae Itoshi was waiting for you in the lobby, doing some weird stretching routine that involved pressing his foot against the wall and leaning over it. You watched him, bemused, wondering which muscles he was trying to stretch before giving up and deciding it was probably one of those pro moves that you were too uninterested and unathletic for.
“Oh, you’re here,” he said. “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” you said, giving him another one of the granola bars you had taken from your mother’s backpack. “Sorry, it’s sort of smushed. It’s been in a backpack for the last few days.”
He pinched the wrapper between his forefinger and thumb, looking at the granola bar with a disgusted expression. You didn’t think it was thategregious, but according to Sae, it must have been all but an offense against humanity, as he tossed it into the trash can within seconds of having it within his grasp.
“I already ate my snack,” he said.
“Why did you throw that away? I could’ve eaten it!” you said.
“That thing had probably melted and reformed at least twice. It was most definitely radioactive. I did you a favor, so you should say thank you,” he said.
“Thank you, Mr. Itoshi, for protecting me from the horrors of a slightly misshapen granola bar. I’m sure that, by throwing away that still edible brick of deliciousness, you have done me a great service. Possibly, you have even saved my life. I am eternally grateful,” you said.
He snorted. “You’re terrible at groveling. No wonder you have to do all of this ridiculous stuff to apologize to me instead of just saying sorry and moving on like a normal person.”
“Look, it’s a product of my upbringing,” you said. He finished stretching and headed out of the door; you followed after him with a smile at the hotel concierge, who seemed surprised to watch you go — whether it was the hour or your company, you weren’t sure. “Whenever my parents did something to upset me, they never apologized. They just came to my room with a bowl of fruit they had cut for me.”
“At least you got fruit,” he said. “My parents just told me to go practice soccer until I had cooled off.”
“Wow, really? That’s hardcore,” you said. Sae began to jog, and you did the same, though it was closer to a run for you than anything. “Did you just kick around the ball until you were less mad?”
“Pretty much,” he said.
“How horrible,” you said.
“Eh, it’s fine. It was a good way to get my anger out, and it had the added benefit of making me better at the sport, so it was pretty constructive overall,” he said.
“I still can’t imagine it,” you said, shaking your head. “What’s it like, being a professional athlete? Your entire life revolves around a game. What about when you can’t play anymore? When you’re too old, or if you get injured?”
His upper lip curled. “Do you want that to happen or something? Why are you speaking it into existence?”
“Not the injury part, but everyone grows old. You can’t stop that,” you said.
“I’ll play for as long as I can, and then I’ll coach for longer,” he said. “After that, I’ll retire and make sure my kids follow in my footsteps. Athletes make a lot of money, so I luckily won’t ever have to worry much about my finances.”
“What if your kids don’t want to play soccer?” you said. He actually sneered this time, the expression at home on his cold face.
“What else would they do with themselves? If they don’t want to play soccer, or if they have no talent at it, then they’re definitely not my children in the first place,” he said.
“Hm, maybe cooking? What if they want to be a chef?” you said.
“Then I’d wonder how your kids snuck into my house,” he said. You gasped, though it was as much for breath as it was out of offense.
“Stop it! You just happened to catch me at a hungry time!” you said.
“Sure,” he said.
“Just entertain the hypothetical that you really did somehow father children that were into cooking instead of soccer. How would you react?” you said.
“I would put them up for adoption,” he said.
“Seriously?” you said.
“No, obviously not,” he said. “What kind of person do you think I am? Why did you actually find that to be within the realm of possibility?”
“I think you’re some kind of soccer fiend. Who knows how dedicated you are to the cause?” you said.
“Not that dedicated,” he said. “I’d be disappointed if my kids can’t play soccer, and our relationship would probably be a bit distant, as I don’t know much about anything else, but I wouldn’t disown them.”
“You don’t know much about anything besides soccer? That’s a little sad,” you said.
“Kind of,” he said.
“Do you wish you knew about other things?” you said.
“Everyone has something they specialize in. It’s not uncommon for someone to know a lot about one thing and only a little about others,” he said. “My ‘thing’ is soccer. If it wasn’t that, then it’d be something else, so if I was in the business of wishing, I’d always be unsatisfied.”
You were already panting for breath when Sae picked up the pace, though he had not so much as broken a sweat yet. He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, taking in your obvious struggles, and then he made the decision to not slow down at all.
“I get it,” you said. “You’ll face no judgment from me.”
“Like I would care if you did judge me,” he said. “You’re already dying, and we haven’t even started running yet.”
“This isn’t running?” you said. “What the hell? How much faster can you even go?”
“If you think that this is anywhere near the pace of an average soccer match, then I don’t even know where to begin with you,” he said.
“You look slower on TV!”
“What, so you think I’m slow, too?”
You and Sae returned to the hotel in markedly different conditions. He wasn’t even warm, still appearing to be perfectly put together and entirely perspiration-free, smelling faintly like body soap and cologne. On the other hand, you were still trying to regain your wits about you, leaning on his shoulder so that you did not fall over from exhaustion.
“This is embarrassing for you,” he informed you as you walked towards the breakfast area.
“You’re a professional athlete and I’m a normal girl! It would be embarrassing for you if I could keep up!” you argued weakly.
“That would be true, if I wasn’t going easy on you,” he said, pulling out a chair for you and helping you into it, brushing his arm off when he was sure you were seated. “I’m going to go to the bathroom. Be right back.”
“Have fun,” you said, resting your head in your hands, already knowing what you wanted to get. “We can walk through the buffet together. I’ll take the time to recover.”
“You do that,” he said.
While he was gone, you opened your phone, catching up on all of the texts in the family group chat that you hadn’t been able to read while you were attempting to run with Sae.
me: going for a morning walk but i’ll be back for breakfast
me: just wanted to let you all know so you weren’t worried!
uglier sibling: yeah nobody was worried LMFAO
mom: Hope you’re feeling better, honey!
dad: Make sure you’re back before 10. That’s when the complimentary breakfast ends, and we’re not paying for overpriced toast with jam.
uglier sibling: i still can’t believe u went for a morning walk
uglier sibling: like
uglier sibling: since when do u voluntarily wake up in the mornings at all let alone leave ur bed LET ALONE TAKE A WALK
uglier sibling: bitches will meet sae itoshi one time and suddenly they’re fitness influencers or wtvr
uglier sibling: btw i’m still mad that u didn’t get his autograph or a photo with him or anything
uglier sibling: i bet u made it up
uglier sibling: LIAR. FRAUD. HACK.
mom: Honey, leave your sister alone. Why would she make something like that up? 
dad: Your mother is right. Y/N doesn’t even know who Sae Itoshi is.
So it was a typical conversation, then. You hadn’t missed much; just your brother being salty and your parents showing some care for your well-being, as well as your father worrying for his wallet like he was prone to do. You didn’t even bother responding, just liking your father’s two messages and then putting your phone away.
“Y/N, you’re back already? What good timing!” your father called out to you from the entrance to the hotel restaurant. The world slowed as you turned to see the rest of your family walking into the restaurant, dressed in their typical touristy outfits. Your mother waved at you, and your brother faked gagging.
“Wow, you look like shit,” he said. “The fuck kinda morning walk were you on?”
“Gross, it’s you,” you said. “Go away! I’m busy.”
“You don’t even have any food with you,” he pointed out. “Can I sit with you? The parents are way too chipper in the mornings.”
“No!” you said.
“But there’s an empty seat at your table. Are you saving it for someone?” he said.
“Yes,” you said, wishing that for once they would’ve all slept in instead of getting here at the exact time that you and Sae had.
“No, you’re not,” he said.
“Come on, you two, let’s sit together and have a family breakfast!” your father said, motioning you and your brother over from where he and your mother had settled at a four-person table. Your brother gave you a pleading look.
“I’ll owe you forever,” he said. “I’ll grind on all of your video games for you the entire plane ride home!”
“I’m not lying, dude, I actually am sitting with someone. Now fuck off and leave me alone!” you hissed.
“Who?” he said, crossing his arms. “Your imaginary friend? Or your imaginary boyfriend!”
“Excuse me? Sorry, I was sitting there. Do you mind—?”
The most comical expression you had ever seen flashed over your brother’s face just then. It was horror mixed with incredulity mixed with extreme confusion. He turned slowly, his jaw dropping as he made eye contact with Sae Itoshi, whose dry countenance and perfect posture were as off-putting as ever.
“What?” your brother said. “What is going on?”
Sae sat opposite you. “This hotel has the most confusing first floor layout I’ve ever encountered. It took me ages just to find the bathroom.”
“There’s signs. Can you not read?” you said. He stared at you dully.
“I can read. I just happened not to look up at them,” he said.
“If I didn’t want to pay for even more food, I’d make another short joke, but I shall refrain,” you said.
“That was cutting it close,” he said.
“Y/N. My beautiful, amazing, wonderful older sister,” your brother said.
“Yes?” you said, preparing yourself for the incoming explosion. “Also, that’s not what you were calling me in the group chat earlier, was it?”
“Is that Sae Itoshi?” he said.
“Liar, fraud, hack, was that what it was?” you said. “Run along, loser. Maybe if you were nicer to me, I’d let you sit with us.”
Your brother opened his mouth to argue, but then, like he had remembered he was standing in front of his idol, he hung his head and trudged off, scuffing his toes against the floor as he did and giving you a betrayed look over his shoulder.
“That’s your little brother?” Sae said.
“Yup,” you said. “Your self-proclaimed biggest fan.”
“And you made him go sit with your parents instead of talking to me? You’re super mean, big sister,” Sae said.
“He wouldn’t shut up if I let him stay here, and considering the goal of this is for you to eat and then leave me alone for the rest of my vacation, that would not be conducive,” you said.
“I see,” he said. “I didn’t realize that was the goal.”
“Isn’t it yours, as well? I’m sure you’d like to enjoy yourself on your time off from soccer,” you said.
“Who says I’m not enjoying myself?” he said. You furrowed your brow at him.
“You’ve had the same expression on your face every time we’ve spoken,” you pointed out, lowering your eyelids and pursing your lips in an imitation of his resting mien. “Like this. It’s totally amphibious.”
“Amphibious?” he repeated. “What does that even mean?”
“You don’t know what amphibious means? Man, when you said you only focused on soccer, I didn’t think it was this bad!” you said.
“I know what amphibious means! I just don’t see how the word applies,” he said.
“Oh, right. Well, you kind of look like the frog emoji,” you said. “Sorry, I could’ve been clearer. That’s my bad.”
“Were you dropped on the head as a baby? I’m asking this from a place of concern, not anger,” Sae said. “It’s because you say so many nonsensical things. After all, I look nothing like the frog emoji.”
“Sure, and people tell me I look like a famous actress,” you said.
“Really?” he said.
“No, I thought we were both saying things that aren’t true,” you said.
“I think you look like a famous actress,” he said. “There. Now we’re both saying things that are true.”
“Well done, Mr. Itoshi! That was clever,” you said, knowing when to concede.
“Thank you,” he said. “Let’s go get our food now. If you die of starvation on my watch, it’ll be a major scandal for Re Al.”
“Your manager must love you,” you said. “So conscientious of your public image.”
“Nope, he’s usually pretty pissed at me,” he said as the two of you got in the buffet line.
“What for?” you said.
“Contrary to what you think, I’m pretty unconcerned with my public image. I’m a soccer player, not some kind of philanthropist or actor or whatever,” he said. “What does it matter if I offend people? My value is in playing well, not being friendly or kind.”
“No one ever accused you of being either of those two,” you said, spreading butter and jam over your toast. “You’re not that bad, though.”
“You’re not that bad, either,” he said. “At least, you’re better company than my manager.”
“I’ll take it as a compliment,” you said. He scoffed.
“You have low standards,” he said.
“Yours are lower,” you said.
“Very mature response.”
“Thanks!”
Sae was a pretty agreeable breakfast partner. He wasn’t as impossibly cheerful as your parents, who generally drove you crazy with their talkativeness so early in the day, but he also wasn’t as silent and closed off as your brother, who was prone to snapping at others until he had finished at least half of his meal. As with lunch yesterday, it was almost an enjoyable experience, right up until you remembered whose card he was eating on.
“Where are you going?” he said when your plates had been cleared and you had pushed yourself to your feet. He followed after you as you made your way to the hostess’s station, ignoring the whispers that echoed behind the two of you.
“To pay for you to be here, duh,” you said, fishing around in your purse for your wallet. “I know you’re famous and all, but that doesn’t mean you get to eat for free. In fact, that was kind of the point of the meal.”
“I already paid for myself, so you can go and sit back down with your family if you’d like,” he said.
“What? When?” you said.
“I wouldn’t spend that long in a bathroom,” he said. “Not a public one.”
“You little—! Now what?” you said.
“Now you have to see me tomorrow,” he said. “Bye. I’ll pick you up for dinner, so make sure to wear something nice, and bring your credit card. It’s your treat.”
He walked off with a jaunty wave, leaving you standing there, confounded by the development. He had paid for himself again? What was the point of making you take him places if he was just going to cough up the cash himself anyways?
“Psst. Y/N,” your brother said. You weren’t sure when or where he had appeared, but it remained that he was suddenly tapping you on the shoulder and whispering in your ear. “Does Sae Itoshi have a crush on you? If so, please ask if he can get tickets for dad and I to attend his next game.”
“What?” you said, a shockwave running through your entire body at the mere thought of Sae having a crush on you. It was so juvenile and cliched as to be out of Sae’s character entirely. “No! I just owe him.”
“For what?” your brother said.
“I ran into him, called him ugly, and said that he was short,” you said. “Indirectly, of course, but it still happened. I was supposed to buy him lunch yesterday as an apology, but then he ended up paying for us both, and then today, I went on a run with him, and I was going to pay for him to have breakfast here, but guess what?”
“He paid for himself?” your brother said.
“He paid for — yeah, how did you know?” you said.
“There weren’t that many ways the story could’ve gone. Also, I overheard you guys talking,” he said.
“Creep,” you said.
“Weirdo,” he said.
“Freak,” you said.
“Stupid,” he said. “I bet he has a crush on you.”
“Why would he? We have zero common interests, and I’ve mostly only insulted him in our very short time knowing one another,” you said.
“Maybe he’s into that. Some guys are. My one friend is — actually, I’m not exposing him like that,” he said.
“Thank you, because I really didn’t want to know,” you said.
“Anyways, where I was going with that is some guys like girls who humble them a bit. Especially someone like Sae Itoshi; he’s probably so used to people falling all over themselves to get his attention that it’s nice for him to hang out with someone who’s too oblivious to care about that kind of stuff,” he said.
“People like you?” you said. “I told him you were his biggest fan, just so you know.”
“Why would you do that?” your brother said, his eyes bugging out and his mouth forming a pained grimace. “He probably thinks I’m a nerd now!”
“You do it to yourself, buddy,” you said. “Let’s go. It looks like the parents want us to go sit with them. Think you can handle it?”
“After learning that my hero has a crush on my sister and, furthermore, probably thinks of me as some kind of dweeb, I can handle anything,” he said.
The entire day, you pondered your brother’s words. Did Sae have a crush on you? Running through his actions and every conversation you both had ever had led you to think that he did not. It didn’t seem like he liked you very much in even a platonic sense, so how could anyone begin to think he liked you romantically? It was just tolerance for the sake of his pride, that was all.
And you definitely didn’t like him. He was emotionless and conceited and teased you far too often. What did it matter that he was somewhat attractive? He had a terrible personality, and you bet that if more of his fans knew what he was like, he wouldn’t have any to begin with.
No wonder Sae’s manager hated him. He was probably a jerk to his poor employees, too.
“We’re thinking of going here for dinner tonight,” your father said the next day. “Look, their reviews are pretty high, and their prices aren’t crazy. What does everyone think?”
“I’m fine with anything,” your mother said.
“Same here,” your brother said.
“Y/N?” your father said. You were about to respond when your own phone buzzed. You knew exactly who it was texting you, and you sighed as you opened it.
sae itoshi (dumb haircut): I will be there in one hour.
sae itoshi (dumb haircut): You better not have forgotten about our plans for tonight.
sae itoshi (dumb haircut): I made a reservation, so I’ll really be mad if you stand me up.
sae itoshi (dumb haircut): Especially because you’re paying.
me: I WILL BE THERE OMFG STOP TEXTING ME
sae itoshi (dumb haircut): Okay.
“I can’t,” you said.
“Why not? Are you on some new diet or something? They should have vegetarian options, so that won’t be a problem,” your father said. “We can look at their menu beforehand if you prefer, and if you really don’t like anything, then we can find somewhere else.”
“I already have plans,” you said, your lower lip jutting out childishly. “Not that I want to! But I made a promise.”
“You already have plans? What’s that supposed to mean?” your mother said.
“I’m having dinner with someone,” you said.
“Ooh, how exciting! With who?” she said.
“I bet I can guess!” your brother sang.
“Enough out of you!” you said, kicking him in the back of the leg. He doubled over, though that did not stop him from smirking at you.
“Y/N and Sae, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” he said.
“You’re going out with Sae Itoshi?” your father said. “You should’ve just said so! That’s perfectly alright, honey. Actually, he’s the one man I’m not upset about you dating!”
“We are not dating!” you said. “It’s a more transactional relationship than that. No feelings involved. It’s just me apologizing to him.”
“Are you close enough to him to get an autograph for your brother and I?” your dad said.
“Um.” You thought about it. Would Sae give you an autograph for them? You weren’t sure. There was a chance he would, but there was also a high chance he would not. “I dunno. I can ask.”
“You’ll ask for dad, but not for me? Wow, I see how it is,” your brother said.
“Yeah, because you’re annoying!” you said. “Ugh. I have to get ready now. He’ll be here to get me in an hour. Have fun at dinner, all of you. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.”
“You have fun as well,” your mother said. “Make sure not to bring any money with you. Gentlemen should always pay on the first date.”
“I’ll be sure to tell him that,” you said, giving up on explaining things to your family for the sake of your sanity.
Sae was aggressively punctual. Exactly an hour after he had texted you, a shiny black car was pulling up in the valet lane, and a tall, bald man in a suit was opening the door for you. You climbed in awkwardly, finding Sae to be sitting on the other side, gazing out of the window pensively.
“Hello,” you said, smoothing your dress and buckling your seatbelt. “You have a driver?”
“Of course I do,” he said. “I usually walk places when I’m on vacation, but this restaurant is kind of far, so I thought it’d be more prudent to have the driver take us.”
“I see,” you said. “Thank you, driver, sir.”
The driver hummed in acknowledgement but did not say anything else. You supposed he probably wasn’t used to talking with his passengers; you doubted Sae ever spoke to him much.
“It’s been so hot out recently,” Sae said stiffly.
“That’s what happens during the summer, yes,” you said.
“That’s true,” he said.
“You’re right, though,” you said. “It has been hot.”
“Super hot,” he said.
“Yes,” you said. “Super hot.”
That must’ve been why there was a slight redness to his cheeks. There was definitely no other reason. And there wasn’t any other reason for why you felt uncomfortably warm, shifting in your seat to dissipate the feeling in your stomach. It was the temperature. That was all.
Given the trend, you really should have anticipated it when Sae paid for your dinner while you were freshening up in the bathroom, but you really had not seen it coming in the slightest. He scrunched up his face when you argued, simply telling you that he would see you tomorrow before dropping you back off at your hotel, the receipt in your hand, his flourishing signature scrawled across the back.
“For your brother,” he had said, handing it to you before you could even ask him for his autograph. “You said he was a fan, right? I’ll get him a better one later, but for now, this should do.”
You spent every day of the rest of that vacation with Sae Itoshi. Some days, you would accompany him on a morning walk — he had softened to slowing his pace, so that he was only barely jogging instead of the full on run that he had forced you into that first time — and on others, the two of you would have some meal or another together. The common theme was that, if there was money involved, he would take care of it. Without question, without hesitation, he always slapped your hand back and pulled out his own credit card, telling you that now you both had to meet again, and the next time you really would be the one paying, or else he’d never be able to forgive you for your terrible behavior.
Your parents and brother complained about it at first, as your new friendship with Sae — could it be considered a friendship, or was it something else? — meant you did not see them much on what was supposed to be a family vacation.
You brought it up with Sae, and he responded with something about how it wouldn’t have been a problem at all if you weren’t such a freeloader and actually paid for him, like you were supposed to. This resulted in a lighthearted squabble between you both, which in turn made you forget your family’s whining, and as well you should have. You could take a million more vacations with them, but you’d likely never get a chance to hang out with Sae Itoshi again, so why wouldn’t you take advantage of it when you could?
Sae didn’t forget, though. He sent you back from dinner the next evening with a soccer ball he had won in one of his games, his signature and a note of gratitude scribbled on it in black marker.
Thank you for letting me borrow your daughter and sister from you while you’re on your trip. I really appreciate it, even if she doesn’t know anything about soccer. — Sae Itoshi
They stopped complaining after that. The ball became your brother’s most prized possession, and every day, your father would tell you how happy he was that you had made such a considerate friend.
“And you know, if you ever want to date him,” he’d say, elbowing you in the side with an obnoxious wink. “We wouldn’t be opposed!”
Your mother was in the same boat. “He really cares about you, I think. Enough that he gave your family something so precious just because he thought we didn’t like him. You could do a lot worse than that.”
“Plus, he’s rich and famous!” your brother would chime in without fail. “Double win!”
“You guys are all nuts,” you’d tell them, shaking your head to disguise how pleased the thought of dating Sae made you.
It could never happen. Like your brother was so happy to remind you, he was rich and famous, an athlete that was adored worldwide and played for the best soccer club in history. He could have any girl he wanted, so why would he ever choose you? You and he were from two different planes of existence. Maybe you could pretend for a little bit that you weren’t, but the date for your eventual departure from Spain was drawing closer and closer, and that day meant the certain end of the fever dream that was your closeness with Sae.
You had been prepared from the start for it to finish in this way. You would go home and tell all of your friends about your trip, how you had spent almost every day with the famous soccer player Sae Itoshi, how he had given you his phone number and made you go on runs with him, how together, you and him had eaten lunch and dinner and breakfast and several meals that you were convinced he had just made up to have an excuse to buy food for the two of you — brunch, linner, midnight snacks and third desserts.
There were other things that you wouldn’t tell them, too, things that Sae had not necessarily said to you in confidence but which you sensed were held close to his heart and which you would therefore hold close to yours. His little brother was named Rin, and they had the same eyes, though Rin’s were quicker to water and perpetually had hair falling into them. He still watched the same shows he used to when he was very small, because they reminded him of his parents’ home. He thought that a person’s athletic potential could be determined by the shape of their butt, but he tended to avoid looking as a form of respect for others.
“That’s a pretty cool skill, Sae! What do you think my athletic potential is?” you had asked when he had revealed that last fact.
“If it’s possible for a person to have negative potential, then that’s about what yours is. If it’s not, then you’re definitely at a zero,” he had responded.
“You didn’t even look,” you had said, shoving a French fry into his mouth as punishment. He hated French fries for how unhealthy they were, and you had half-expected him to lecture you about fats and oils and salts, but instead, he had dutifully chewed and swallowed without any theatrics.
“Don’t need to, and don’t plan to,” he had said, and that was that. “I’ve already seen you run, and that told me all I needed to know about your athletic skills. Or, in this case, your lack thereof.”
If you took his words at face value, then you would’ve thought he truly hated you. He never missed a chance to make fun of you, and you were the same way — certainly, anyone who overheard your conversations would’ve been convinced that you and he were bitter enemies. But that was because they didn’t see the way he always positioned himself on the sidewalk so that he was between you and the oncoming traffic. They didn’t see the way he’d pull out your chair and only pretend to frown when you’d thank him for it. They didn’t see the way his ears would turn pink if you dared to smile in his direction or, heaven forbid, agreed with what he was saying instead of arguing, as was your go-to.
No, you were pretty confident that Sae Itoshi did not hate you. It was just that soccer was his thing and all other areas were beyond him, areas which included such fields as emotional awareness and sensitivity.
Maybe you might tell the friends you were particularly close to about that. Sae Itoshi treated me pretty well, you’d say, with grand, sweeping hand motions to emphasize the point. As well as he knew how to, which was well enough for me. If I ever get a boyfriend, they’ll have a lot to live up to. Seems kind of unfair to whatever poor schmuck gets stuck with the task, don’t you think? Considering the two of us never even dated…
“I'm going home tomorrow morning,” you said. The sun was setting, and the two of you were walking along the same stretch of beach that you had first met at. “I finished packing all of my things before dinner. It’s surreal, almost. I feel like an entirely different person now, compared to when I came here.”
“Is that so?” he said, the corners of his lips twitching slightly. “I wonder why.”
“Did you just smile?” you said. Immediately, he scowled.
“No way,” he said. “I’d never smile because of something you said.”
“Uh-huh, uh-huh, you definitely smiled. I made you smile! I made you smile! I made you smile!” you said, poking him in the cheek repeatedly. Sae’s expressions were so subtle that it was easy to overlook them before they had vanished, but there was no overlooking what you had just seen. He had definitely smiled at you, or at least he had been about to.
“Stop poking me,” he grumbled.
“No,” you said, poking him again. “Only if you smile again.”
“Hell no,” he said. You poked his cheek again. “Y/N. Stop it.”
“Will you miss me?” you said.
“Not if you don’t quit that!” he said, grabbing your wrist when you prepared to poke him again. Heat rose to your cheeks at the way his thumb rested against your pulse, and when he realized he was holding your hand so familiarly, his own cheeks flushed. “No. I won’t.”
“I’ll miss you,” you said, digging your feet into the sand, turning out to the sea because you couldn’t stand to look at him when you were being so vulnerable. “I’ll tell everyone I know about you, of course, but it won’t be the same. Something funny will happen, and I’ll think to myself, oh, Sae would’ve snorted at that — but not laughed, because you don’t laugh. Or I’ll order shitty French fries, and it’ll remind me of how much you’d scold me for eating them. You’d say something like, those are basically heart attacks in a box, and then you’d pour a bottle of salted kombucha down my throat to cleanse my system.”
Somewhere in the distance, a seagull squawked, reminding you of the fateful encounter from so long ago. You wished you could go back and get to know Sae all over again. You wished you could ask him the same questions and not know the answers, so that you were surprised when he told them to you. You wished you could argue with him for a little bit longer. You wished that, one more time, you could imply he was short and ugly and slow and a thousand other rude adjectives, even if he was really none of those things, none of them at all.
“I’m going to ask you one last question, okay?” you said. “Please think over your answer carefully. It’s important.”
“Okay,” he said, uncharacteristically gently. “I’ll really consider it well.”
“What’s your favorite animal?” you said.
“Seagulls,” he said immediately, directly contradicting his solemn oath. You laughed at this, burying your face in your hands to hide the hitch in your throat.
“You traitor,” you said. “You know all about the feud between seagulls and I, and yet you’re still claiming they’re your favorites?”
“They always have been,” he said. “I like migratory birds, how they don’t stay in one place but are always moving around. It must be such a blissful life.”
“But it’s probably pretty lonely, too,” you said. “They don’t have anywhere to call home.”
“I like lonely things,” he said. “That’s why the end of the summer is my favorite season.”
“Hm,” you said. “Then, if I tell you that I’ll be lonely once I leave here, will you like me, too?”
He looked at you, but you stared resolutely ahead, your gaze trained on the horizon, the way his had been on the day you had run into him. It was such a kiddish question, and internally, you were beating yourself up for asking it, but deep down, you wanted to know, so you did not move to retract it.
“Well, I like seagulls for a different reason now,” he said.
So that was your answer, then. The waves crashed against the shore, and a balmy wind blew through your hair and clothes, carrying the light scent of Sae’s cologne to your nose, the same one he had worn for as long as you could remember.
“I understand,” you said.
“These days, it’s a specific seagull I’m fond of, actually,” he said.
“Huh? Like a breed or something?” you said.
“No, just one bird in particular,” he said. “It did me a really huge favor recently.”
“What are you talking about? You always say that you suspect I was dropped on the head as a baby, but between the two of us, I think the one that was dropped was you,” you said, the fraying ends of your rejected feelings driving you to irascibility.
“A while ago, I was standing on the beach, feeling pretty annoyed with the world — as usual,” he said. “I had had to run from the paparazzi in order to go on this vacation without being bothered, you know, and I honestly was starting to question if I’d ever be seen as a normal person. I get that the only thing I’m good at is soccer, but it’s pretty tiring to be thought of as a guy who kicks balls around and nothing more.”
Unbidden, you inhaled sharply, because the story was starting to sound familiar. Spinning on your heel, you were met with the sight of Sae smiling shyly, peering down at you through his unfairly long eyelashes.
“That seagull must’ve known how I was feeling. There’s no other explanation for it all. It must’ve known how I was feeling, and somehow, it managed to find the one person in the entire world that saw me as something other than that. Do you know what it did next? It stole that person’s sandwich, and it led her right to me,” he said.
“Are you talking about me?” you said.
“How many people do you think have called me a short, ugly, D-list celebrity instead of asking for my autograph upon meeting me?” he said.
“Probably not very many,” you said. He chuckled.
“Probably not any,” he said. You rested your forehead against his shoulder.
“Probably not,” you said. He stroked your hair, though his motions were like a marionette’s — he was not very used to this type of relationship, after all. But he was trying his best, and you found that to be far more endearing than any suave gestures might’ve been.
“I know you have to go soon, so I was planning on not saying anything,” he said. “What would be the point? I figured this was just a summer fling for you. But then you had to go and be all sentimental, and I had to say something.”
“I’m glad you did,” you said. “It would’ve been worse if I had returned home without knowing at all. Where do we go from here, though?”
“Where do we go from here? Let me think. Well, I’ll ask you to be my girlfriend,” he said. “And you’ll say yes, because who would ever reject me? Then we’ll talk on the phone every day, and you can send me photos of things you find funny, and I’ll have a sixth sense for when you’re eating French fries and I’ll send you strongly worded texts in reprimand. You’ll fly over to watch my matches whenever possible, and when I’m on my next break, I’ll come visit you and meet your family and friends properly.”
“Getting a little presumptuous, aren’t we? What if I say no?” you said.
“Will you?” he said.
“Not sure. How about you ask and find out?” you said.
“If you’re going to say no, then I don’t want to,” he said. You stuck your tongue out at him.
“I can’t be with a man who’s afraid of rejection. It was nice knowing you, Sae,” you said. “See you around. Hope you lose the Champions League.”
“Wait! I’m not afraid of rejection,” he said. “Y/N, will you be my girlfriend? Officially, I mean.”
“Yes, of course,” you said. “But you’re going to have to buy my plane tickets if you want me to watch you. Even with frequent flier miles, I doubt I can afford coming to see you that often.”
“Consider it done,” he said. You grinned at him.
“You know, if you’re my boyfriend, then you’re going to have to keep paying for our dates, as well. My mother said that’s the gentlemanly thing for you to do,” you said.
“Right, I was expecting that,” he said. “Don’t you think there’s a reason why I haven’t let you buy anything yet?”
“Then how am I ever supposed to apologize to you for the circumstances of our first meeting? I mean, I was pretty harsh,” you said.
“That’s true,” he said. “Let me think.”
“Mhm,” you said. “I know that that’s out of your comfort zone, so I’ll give you a minute.”
“I have an idea,” he said, though it was accompanied by a slight glare at your jab.
“What is it?” you said.
“Close your eyes,” he said. You obliged, squeezing them shut, though not without widening your feet into the defensive stance he had demonstrated to you on the day he had attempted to teach you basic soccer skills.
“What are you going to do, tackle me or something? I’m using the position you taught me, but please be gentle, you’re way more muscular than—!”
You were cut off by him pressing his lips to yours. It was a soft kiss, gentle and light, like feathers in the air or water against the sand, and he pulled away before you could really react or reciprocate. He had left you wanting, and you knew he knew that, because there was a smugness to his voice when he spoke next.
“Apology accepted,” he said as you blinked at him in shock, your mind still lagging well behind your body. “Now we’re even.”
“Hold on,” you said. “I’m suddenly feeling very repentant and remorseful. Are you quite sure you forgive me with just that?”
He laughed. It was such a lovely sound, his laugh, and you would’ve told him so if you weren’t afraid that he’d stop when you pointed it out.
“Maybe not,” he said. “You might have to apologize a bit more.”
“That sounds doable,” you said. “Yeah, I might be able to work that in. It’ll be agonizing, but a wise man once told me that that’s just the nature of apologizing, so it’s the least I can do, right?”
“Oh, shut up,” he said, holding your face in his hands and leaning in. You did the same, your eyes closing all on their own as you sought out the connection he had deprived you of earlier.
As the sun set over the horizon and the seagulls settled in for the night, he kissed you again.
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rafecameronssl4t · 6 months ago
Note
Omg Pt 2 of unfinished lap??? Reader makes him eat his heart out looking super hot and he grovels??? PUHLEASE
Unfinished lap pt.2 || F1 driver!Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
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A/n: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭😭😭
Warnings: angst!!!!
Word count: 1,396
MASTERLIST (F1 driver!Rafe x reader au masterlist)
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PART ONE HERE
The Monaco Grand Prix was undoubtedly one of the most highly anticipated races of the year, and it was clear why. The energy was electric from the moment you stepped into the paddock. Journalists swarmed, eager to capture every headline-worthy moment, while paparazzi darted about, snapping photos of drivers and their glamorous entourages.
Team crew members hustled through the maze of garages, their focused expressions a stark contrast to the spectacle of it all. It was a world that thrived on chaos, glitz, and precision—a breathtaking display of Formula 1’s allure. Austin had accompanied you this time, his calm presence a stark contrast to the whirlwind around you.
It had been a week since you last spoke to Rafe, your communication routed exclusively through Austin. The distance had been intentional. After the heated fallout at the Miami Grand Prix, you had felt the need to step away, to find a moment to breathe. So, you flew back home for a few days, seeking solace in the familiar before making your way to France just 24 hours ago.
Of course, your arrival had been made seamless, courtesy of Rafe's private jet. It was his unspoken way of showing care, even in the midst of a strained silence. He had respected your desire for space, understanding the weight of what had transpired between you. Yet, the air still felt charged, the unresolved tension from Miami lingering like an invisible thread pulling at both of you.
Now, standing in the heart of Monaco’s bustling paddock, you couldn’t help but wonder how this weekend would unfold. The aftermath of Miami still clung to you like a stubborn shadow. Your abrupt departure before the race had even ended—and without Rafe by your side—had set social media ablaze. Fans were quick to notice, flooding timelines with speculation.
Did you and Rafe have a falling out? Was this the beginning of cracks in what many saw as a perfect relationship? The whispers of gossip added another layer to the weight you already carried. As you stepped into the paddock, the flashing cameras were almost blinding. Paparazzi immediately swarmed, their voices rising as they called your name. You offered them a small, polite smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes but was enough to quell the barrage of questions—for now.
The murmurs and shutter clicks followed you like a persistent hum, a reminder that every move you made here was under scrutiny. Austin, always the reliable mediator, had informed you that Rafe was already at the paddock. His presence was palpable even without seeing him, a tension that hung in the air. But finding him wasn’t your priority at the moment. The thought of facing him so soon felt daunting, not when your emotions were still tangled from the events in Miami.
Instead, you sought comfort in familiar company, meeting up with some friends at Ferrari’s hospitality complex. The atmosphere was lively but far more relaxed than the frenzy outside. You eased into the plush seating, a chilled glass of champagne in hand, while plates of gourmet food were passed around. The warm laughter and light conversation helped loosen the knot in your chest, even if only temporarily.
Yet, even as you tried to immerse yourself in the moment, you couldn’t ignore the faint buzz of your phone in your bag.
Rafe
Austin says you're here, where are you?
Y/n
Hospitality.
Without waiting for Rafe's response, you silenced your phone, flipping it face down on the table with a snap. You didn’t want to be distracted, not when there were conversations to be had with friends who actually cared—or at least, that’s what you told yourself as you leaned back into the easy rhythm of small talk with Sofia and the others. Your smile was polite, but hollow, just like the words coming out of your mouth.
Inside, you were still seething, and nothing about the pre-race buzz seemed to settle the storm inside you. As the race approached, the paddock swelled with even more energy. "Y/n! Over here!" You hear paparazzi call out as you turn your head to see them all flashing their camera as you give them a wave. "They grow more obsessive over you every day, I swear," Sofia chuckles, as you let out a soft snort, knowing this dress was your petty version of a revenge dress.
The air crackled with excitement, but you were numb to it, your thoughts wrapped tightly around everything that had been left unsaid between you and Rafe. Sofia nudged you, a knowing glint in her eyes, breaking your daze. You frowned, her questioning look making you snap out of your thoughts. "What?" you asked.
She nodded subtly, gesturing with her chin, and you followed her gaze. Your heart clenched. Rafe was approaching, his racing suit snug against his toned frame, the helmet in his hand an afterthought. His eyes, however, were locked onto you with an intensity that made you want to look away. He walked through the chaos of the grid like he was moving in slow motion, cutting through the noise, determined.
The sea of people, the flashes of cameras, none of it seemed to matter. It was like he was trying to pull you back in, but you weren’t sure you wanted to be pulled anymore. Sofia gave you a small, almost sympathetic smile before slipping away toward her boyfriend. You stayed rooted to the spot, knowing full well what was coming. Your eyes met his when he finally reached you, and the force of his gaze nearly knocked the air out of your lungs.
There was something there—something unreadable. You hated how it made you feel. You offered him a smile, but you knew it didn’t reach your eyes. It was stiff, polite, barely enough to hide the way you felt. He saw it, of course, because he always did. He could read you better than anyone else. “Good luck,” you said, the words coming out more as a formality than genuine well-wishing. Your voice was even, but it didn’t carry the warmth it usually did when you said it to him.
You stepped closer, placing your hands lightly on his shoulders, doing it out of habit rather than any lingering affection. It was an automatic move, like you’d done it a thousand times before. Rising onto your toes, you kissed his cheek. The kiss was longer than it should have been, the seconds stretching into an eternity as your lips lingered. But it didn’t feel like affection. It felt like something you didn’t want to face.
“Wait.” His voice sliced through the noise, barely audible over the rising hum of the grid as his hand grips your forearm. Your body froze at the sound of it, tension building in your chest. You hated how much it affected you. You hadn’t wanted to see him, hadn’t wanted to be anywhere near him after the things he’d said, yet here he was, pulling you back into his orbit with just two words. You looked over your shoulder, meeting his gaze.
The vulnerability there was almost too much. You turned, your gaze cold. "What?" you snapped, not hiding the edge of frustration in your voice. “Can we talk, please?” he asked, the words soft, almost pleading. His face was a mix of urgency and something you didn’t want to acknowledge. You wanted to scream at him. To tell him you weren’t some emotional ragdoll he could throw aside whenever it suited him. But all that came out was silence.
You glanced around at the sea of people—team members huddled together, journalists with cameras in hand, all capturing this moment. Everything about this was wrong. You could already feel the eyes on you both, the pressure mounting. This was the last place you wanted to have this conversation. "Right now?" you asked, your voice biting. "But—"
Before you could finish, Austin materialized at Rafe’s side, his timing as impeccable as always. You almost resented him for it. “Rafe, the anthem is happening soon,” he said, his voice carrying a firm but unspoken reminder that the world didn’t stop for personal drama. He looked at you briefly, offering a polite smile, but it felt more like an apology for the situation than anything else.
“Go,” you said, your voice colder than you meant it to be. You gently moved his hand from your forearm, the briefest contact of your fingers almost too much. His touch lingered even after he let go, the warmth of it burning into you. His shoulders sagged slightly, a deep exhale leaving his lips. He nodded, but it was a hollow gesture, a promise that didn’t carry weight. “After the race,” he muttered, his voice low, as if he were speaking more to himself than to you.
~
Rafe’s victory, though impressive, only seemed to amplify the tension between you both. As you stood near the podium, clapping along with the others, you felt the anger simmering beneath your skin. The sound of Ferrari’s team celebrating—their cheers, the clapping—was a distant noise, something that barely registered to you. Rafe stood there, triumphant, raising his trophy high as the crowd cheered around him.
But despite his success, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel anything other than the sharp ache that had settled in your chest. Your smile, if you could even call it that, was a thin mask you wore out of habit, an automatic response to the situation. You tried to focus on the celebrations, but every part of you was focused on him. You could feel his eyes on you, the weight of his gaze intense and unyielding.
You stared at the big screen, watching his expression shift as he looked directly down at you, a brief flicker of something—regret, maybe—flashing across his face. You hated it. You hated how that tiny moment made you question everything. You refused to acknowledge it, refused to let yourself feel anything beyond the cold distance you had wrapped around your emotions.
Instead, you kept your focus on the screen, acting like you didn’t care. You could almost hear his voice in your mind, calling out to you, asking for forgiveness, but you shut it out. The ache from his words—those careless, hurtful things he’d said—was still so raw, and you were not ready to let it go. The second the podium ceremony ended, you wasted no time in leaving the crowd behind.
You moved quickly through the cluster of team members, your steps deliberate as you walked away, trying to escape the noise and the energy that had once felt like home.
~
You hesitated outside the door to Rafe’s private room, your hand hovering over the handle. The paddock’s noise was a faint hum in the distance now, replaced by the deafening sound of your own thoughts. You didn’t want to be here—every fibre of your being told you to turn around, to walk away, to protect yourself. But you also couldn’t leave things like this. Not after everything.
With a deep breath, you pushed the door open. The room was dimly lit, quiet, a stark contrast to the chaos outside. Rafe sat on the small couch, his racing suit unzipped and hanging around his waist, his head resting in his hands. The sight of him—so unguarded, so unlike the Rafe everyone else knew—sent a pang through your chest.
His head snapped up when he heard the door close behind you. His blue eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. The tension was thick, suffocating, as he straightened up, his gaze flickering with something you couldn’t quite place. “You didn’t stay,” he said finally, his voice low, almost accusing.
You crossed your arms over your chest, the anger bubbling up again. “What did you expect, Rafe? A standing ovation for the way you spoke to me in Miami?” His jaw tightened, and he stood, his movements stiff and deliberate as he closed some of the space between you. “I wasn’t thinking straight,” he admitted, his voice strained. “I said things I shouldn’t have.”
“You think an apology fixes everything?” you snapped, your voice sharper than you intended. “Do you even understand how much you hurt me? I was trying to help you, Rafe. To be there for you. And you acted like I was just… in your way. Like I didn’t matter.” His shoulders sagged, and he ran a hand through his messy hair, his frustration evident. “You don’t think I know that?” he shot back, his voice rising slightly.
“I know I messed up, okay? I know I was out of line. But I didn’t mean any of it.” “Then why say it?” you countered, your voice cracking despite your best efforts to stay composed. “Why do you always push me away when all I’m trying to do is be there for you?” Rafe let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Because I don’t know how to deal with this!” he admitted, his voice raw.
“I don’t know how to let people in without feeling like they’re gonna see how much of a failure I feel like sometimes. It’s easier to shut you out than to risk you seeing that.” Your heart clenched at his admission, but the sting of his earlier words still lingered. “You don’t get to make that choice for me, Rafe,” you said softly, your tone firm. “You don’t get to decide how much of you I can handle. That’s not fair. Not to me, and not to us.”
He stepped closer, his hands twitching at his sides as if he wanted to reach for you but didn’t quite dare. “You’re right,” he said, his voice quieter now. “It’s not fair. And I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix this, but I want to. I need to.”You searched his face, looking for any sign of insincerity, but all you saw was regret. And fear. “I don’t need you to be perfect, Rafe,” you said, your voice softening slightly. “I just need you to let me in. To stop shutting me out every time things get hard.”
He nodded, his throat working as he swallowed hard. “I’ll try,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how yet, but I’ll try. Because losing you… I can’t do that. I won’t.” Your resolve wavered, the walls you’d built around yourself beginning to crack. “I’m holding you to that,” you said quietly, letting him close the remaining distance between you.
Rafe’s hand hovered near yours for a moment before he finally took it, his grip tentative but steady. “You deserve better,” he said, his voice laced with a sincerity that made your chest ache. “And I’m going to do better. I promise.”The anger and hurt didn’t disappear completely, but for the first time that day, you felt a flicker of hope. Maybe, just maybe, things could change.
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wcnderlnds · 26 days ago
Text
greenlight [ part three ] ★ choi seung-hyun (t.o.p)
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・❥・ summary: seunghyun finally comes home and makes good on all those promises you made on your last phone call ・❥・word count: 2.3k ・❥・warnings: 18+, mdni. hand stuff, oral (f receiving), swearing. virgin!reader ・❥・ authors note: this took me so long to write so hopefully it paid off 😭
PART ONE | PART TWO
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Today was the day. Seunghyun would be home in just a few hours and your excitement was palpable. There weren’t enough words in the dictionary to explain how much you missed him. This was what you’d signed up for when you’d first begun dating, knowing that there would be periods of time when he’d be away for work but it didn’t make it any easier. The more serious your relationship got, the more it was harder to be away from each other. The days had gone slower, felt longer without him by your side.
That one phone call from last week had constantly played in your mind since it happened. It had been like nothing you’d ever experienced before. The way he’d spoken to you through the phone, the way he’d made you feel with just his voice? There was no other man who could have that effect on you. It had only made the longing worse.
The hours dragged on, the clock ticking too slowly. Each time you looked at your phone for the time it felt like it was getting slower and slower. The anticipation at seeing your boyfriend for the first time after a month made you giddy. Nervous but giddy. You were waiting on the couch, some stupid show on in the background that you weren’t really paying attention to.
Then, you heard it. The click of the front door opening.
In an instant you were up on your feet practically bounding to the door to greet him. There he was. His pink hair messy, black rimmed glasses adorning his face, his favourite NASA hoodie hanging off his body. He looked so damn good. Seunghyun’s tired eyes instantly locked onto yours, his lips turning up into a bright smile showing off his dimples.
“God, I fucking missed you,” he took one long stride up to you, his hand cupping your cheek to tilt your head up to look at him. “I’m taking you with me next time, I don’t care.”
“You better,” you laughed softly, your hands fisting into into the fabric of his hoodie to pull him closer to you. Seunghyun didn’t need telling twice, he pressed his body against yours, leaning down and capturing your lips in a breathtaking kiss.
His lips moved against yours slowly, savouring the feeling of feeling your lips on his after four weeks apart. It felt like heaven; it made him feel whole again. He pulled back very briefly, his lips still lingering against yours. His forehead gently rested against yours, a shaky breath leaving his lips.
“It’s good to be home.”
“It’s good to have you home. It was lonely here without you.”
“Let me make it up to you.”
His breath ghosted over your face, the taste of the coffee he’d had on the flight back hitting your senses. It was so him. Your eyes met his, a hint of desire and longing shining back in them. That was all that he needed. His lips pressed against yours firmly. This kiss was different, full of hunger. His tongue traced the seam of your lips, his hands making their way down your body to land on your ass. He squeezed the supple flesh, causing your lips to part and he took that opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. His tongue danced with yours, the kiss growing more and more heated by the second.
Slowly but surely, he backed you up until your back hit the cool surface of the wall. One of his hands found its way under your shirt, resting on your side just below your breast. His thumb slowly stroked your skin igniting a spark in you, goosebumps forming against his touch. Whether it was that you’d missed him or you were feeling more comfortable in these situations now, your own hand moved to ever so gently brush against the bulge in his sweatpants.
Seunghyun’s hips bucked into your hand, wanting, needing to feel your touch. It was hesitantly that you began to palm his hardening length, your fingers brushing against him, tracing the outline of his cock. Seunghyun groaned into the kiss, the pads of his fingers digging into your skin like he was anchoring himself to you.
“Remember those promises we made?” You breathed against his lips.
“Like I’d forget,” he let out a shaky exhale, a strained chuckle following. “I’m supposed to be making it up to you.”
“Shush and let me do this. Just… tell me what you like, okay?”
Seunghyun was about to argue, adamant to make this about you but the fierce determination in your eyes made him pause. He could tell you needed to do this. That you wanted to. It was new terroritory for you, you needed to do this for yourself. So, he relaxed, letting your hands explore his body.
You slipped your hands past the waistband of his sweatpants, Seunghyun watched you with eager eyes as your hand toyed with the edge of his boxers. He was already hard just at the mere thought of you touching him for the first time, there was no hope for him when you finally did.
“Take your time, princess. Go at your pace,” he assured you. His voice was strained, eyes hooded as he watched your every move. He had been thinking of this moment ever since that phone call. It had got him through the lonely nights, occupied his thoughts when he wrapped his own hand around himself and took his pleasure into his own hands.
It was a couple of minutes later when your hands finally dipped inside the final barrier, your soft fingers grazing along his cock. It made him hiss, the urge to grab your hand and show you how it’s done strong but he knew this needed to be on your terms. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you away, not when you were finally feeling ready enough to explore intimacy with him. You rubbed your palm against him, getting a feel for him. He was big, that much you knew. There had been many times when you’d been making out when you’d felt him pressing insistently against you but now really feeling it, you could tell he was packing.
You pulled your hand from him for a moment, tugging his sweatpants and boxers down in one fell swoop, his cock sprang free hard against his stomach. He watched your face, the slight gasp that came from you as you finally saw his most intimate parts sending a thrill straight through him. His lips pressed against yours, a chaste kiss letting you know that he was right there and ready for whatever you were willing to do.
“Go on, baby, wrap your hand around me just like this,” he guided your hand to his length, showing you how to wrap your hand around him just right. “Get a feel for it and when you’re ready just explore. Move your hand up and down.”
Seunghyun could sense your nerves from a mile away. He wanted to soothe your nerves so he brought his hand up to cup your cheek. “You don’t have to do this.”
“No, I want to,” you said, your voice laced with fierce determination. Your hand began to explore, your thumb running over the head of his cock. He let out a strangled groan against your lips, his forehead resting against yours. Judging by his reaction, that must have been good so you continued, feeling the precum that was leaking from his tip. Hesitantly, you began to move your hand down his cock then back up again, your grip light as you set a slow rhythm. Seunghyun’s breath was heavy, the feeling of your hand finally wrapped around him enough to make him bust on the spot but he wanted to savour the feeling, he wanted this to be a moment he remembered. “Is that good?”
“Y-yeah. Grip me a little tighter and don’t be scared to move a little faster.”
At his encouragement, you tightened your grip around his length, your fist forming a perfect circle around him. He let out a shaky exhale when you finally sped up your movements, pumping his cock perfectly. He couldn’t help but thrust into your closed fist, the feeling of your hand around him was way better than he could’ve ever imagined.
“Fuck, baby, that feels good. Don’t stop,” he all but panted, his lips crushing to yours, all teeth and tongue. His hand fisted in the back of your hair, holding you against him as he kissed you like a man possessed. Your hand kept pumping him, his hips thrusting into your hand erratically. “I’m gonna cum. Holy shit.”
Seunghyun groaned loudly, his head hiding in the crook of your neck while his hips jerked forward, his release coating your hand. You stroked him through his orgasm, pulling away only when you were sure he was done. You could feel his heavy breath on your neck, the way he was panting sent a chill through you. The fact you’d made him feel like that filled you with a sense of pride and confidence. There had been no need to be nervous especially with the way your boyfriend was now lazily pressing sloppy kisses along your neck, all the way up to your earlobe. He lightly tugged on it with his teeth before whispering his next words huskily in your ear. “My turn.”
You didn’t have time to react before he’d picked you up, heading towards the bedroom. He kicked the door open, tossing you down on the bed and climbing on top of you. His lips found your neck once again, muttering praises for the pleasure you’d just given him. “That was so good, baby. So fucking good. You deserve a reward for being so good to me.”
He pulled back from your neck, hands trailing down your body to the waistband of your shorts. He looked up at you, almost as if he was asking for approval. When you nodded, he hooked his fingers in them and your panties, tugging them down and off your legs. He groaned at the sight of you laid bare before him, his cock twitching yet again. His fingers danced along your inner thigh until they reached the apex, his index finger trailing along your folds causing you to gasp at the feeling. You’d touched yourself plenty of times but you’d never had another person's hands on you like that. There hadn’t been anyone you trusted enough until Seunghyun came along.
His thumb pressed against your clit, rubbing tight circles against the sensitive bud. His eyes found yours as he tried to gauge your reaction. “That feel good?”
All you could do was nod, too overwhelmed by the feeling of him playing with your clit. Once he was certain you were wet enough, he pushed a finger inside you. Your body arched off the bed, Seunghyun groaning as he sank it inside you. “Fuck, baby. You’re so goddamn tight.”
He withdrew his finger then pushed back in, setting a steady pace, all the while his thumb still working your clit. His eyes never left you, watching in awe as you whimpered and moaned, your body reacting to his touch better than he’d ever dreamed off. Soon enough, he pushed a second finger in to join, speeding up his movements.
“Oh my God, Seunghyun,” you moaned, grabbing on to the back of his hoodie, pulling him to your lips. He kissed you fiercely, his fingers still working you. By now, your hips were chasing his hand. You were so wet, it drove him crazy.
“I want to taste you so bad, princess. I want to bury my face in this pretty pussy and finally taste you. Can I?” He tucked some of your hair behind your ear, his heart beating in anticipation as he waited for your answer.
“Yes,” you gasped as his fingers curled inside you, hitting that special spot that made your toes curl. “Please.”
Seunghyun didn’t need telling twice. His head was between your thighs before you knew it. His fingers were still plunging in and out of your hole but now, his tongue was darting out to lick a long, slow stripe up your pussy. It tore a loud moan from your throat, the feeling better than anything you’d ever felt. He smirked against you, lapping up your juices as he kept his tongue moving up and down your folds. Then, without warning, his tongue darted out to flick your clit. That had your body arching, hands flying to his hair to tangle in his pink locks. He sucked, your hips chasing his lips with every movement. It was ridiculous how hard he was again just from eating you out. That was the effect you had on him, though.
“Come for me,” he demanded, his voice thick and rough. “I know you’re close, I can feel you tightening around my fingers. Let go, baby. I want to taste all of you.”
One more flick of his tongue and you were coming undone. Your hips bucking wildly, body arching up off the bed as his name fell from your lips like a prayer. Seunghyun groaned, the sound vibrating against you. The taste of you on his tongue was so exquisite — he knew he’d never get tired of it. He worked you through your orgasm with slow pumps of his fingers and kitten licks before finally pulling away. He took in your appearance — your flushed cheeks, kiss swollen lips and the way your chest rose and fell with heavy breaths.
You were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
He crawled back up your body, peppering your face in kisses. “You okay?”
“I’m great,” you laughed breathlessly. You hid your flushed cheeks into his chest, Seunghyun wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close.
“I love you,” he said softly.
“I love you too,” you peered up at him, nothing but love and admiration shining in your eyes. “Welcome home.”
taglist (ask to be added): @ldydeath @infinetlyforgotten @berfgrimm @loveesiren @justsisse @sherrayyyyy @aizshallnotbefound @fleabagspurplewife @gemzyy @bettelaboure @gdinthehouseee @breakmeoff @babyrvis @flymetothexmoon @forevervibezzzz1 @ttturnitup @szonyix6277 @riddlerloveb0t @youlikeex @str8t2video
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moonstruckme · 1 year ago
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Hi lovely! Me again but with an actual request this time 😭😭 would you be able to write poly!marauders with reader who just got their wisdom teeth out and they’re all taking her home and taking care of her while she’s all loopy and hyped up on pain meds. I think it’d be so silly and cute. Only if you want to though! Much love and thanks!
-🍓
Thanks for requesting lovely!
cw: mention of blood, effects of anesthesia
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
Sirius had offered to be the one to drive you, but no one had let him because of how upset you all knew he’d get. As soon as you come through the door, Remus knows they’d made the right decision. 
“I know, darling,” James' voice is low, sympathetic, and a bit panicked, “but I promise you can have them in a couple of days, alright?”
Sirius leaves the dishwater to get cold, beelining for the front door. Remus is hot on his tail. They find James kneeling in front of you, untying your shoes while tears dribble off your chin and into his hair.
“I can make you a smoothie, or mashed potatoes, or any non-solid your heart desires.” He turns his head, mouthing help. 
Your face only crumples miserably, and James looks nearly like he might cry too but Sirius comes to his rescue. 
“Hey, sweet girl.” He palms the back of your head, careful of your face as he tilts it up towards him. “What’s got you so wound up, huh?” 
“He won’t let me have marshmallows,” you cry, words all garbled by the gauze in your mouth. 
“So mean,” Sirius commiserates. “I’ll do you one better and make you a chocolate milk, how’s that sound?” 
Your tears dry instantly. James lifts your ankle to take off your shoe, and you grip Sirius’ arms, beaming up at him. Or beaming as best you can, with your mouth all numb and full of cotton. 
“That sounds amazing,” you sigh, blissful. 
Sirius grins right back at you, his hand coasting down your neck and back up again. Remus can tell he’s dying to touch your face the way he normally would, but he restrains himself. “You’ve got a deal,” he says as James pries off your other shoe. “Come watch me work.” 
He steers you toward the kitchen, Remus passing a hand over your head as you go by. You give him a sweet, lovelorn look in return. 
“Can she have her gauze out soon?” he asks James once you’re in the kitchen. 
He sets your shoes by the door. “Yeah, it should be fine by now. They said a half hour.” James leans against the couch and passes a hand over his face. He looks so worn out Remus can’t help but cross the room to him, taking his hand and kissing it lightly.
“Was she very upset the whole time?” he asks.
“No, she’s been all over the place. Far worse than you, though.” 
Remus feels heat rise to his face at the memory. He’d had his wisdom teeth out last summer and reportedly spent the rest of the day clinging to whoever was nearest, grousing about how tired he was but never actually going to sleep. 
“Oh, uh…” James digs in his pocket. A few receipts and a dime come out, then a small bottle of pills. “They said she should start on these once she got home, but I can’t get them open. Can you try?” 
“Mhm.”
“Thanks.” James’ eyes widen, and he rushes off to the kitchen, saying something to Sirius about how they can’t let you use a straw. Remus follows a few steps behind, reading the label of the pill bottle before twisting the top off. It was childproofed, bless him. 
When he enters the kitchen, Sirius has you sat up on the counter and is poking around in your mouth. He takes out the gauze carefully, one piece at a time, and sets it on the counter. Remus makes a mental note to deep-clean that later. Your eyes follow Sirius’ movements, slowly widening. 
“Is all that blood from me?” Your voice carries a slight quiver. 
“That?” Sirius says swiftly. “No, that’s old blood. You’re good as new now.” 
“Oh,” you breathe, deflating a bit in relief. Remus chuckles, and your eyes fly to him, lighting. “Rem!” 
You open your arms wide. He steps into them, raising his eyebrows at James as you grip his shoulders tightly. 
“Told you,” James stage-whispers. “All over the place.” 
“I can hear you,” you say, words muffled into Remus’ sweater. He pets the back of your head pacifyingly. 
“How are you, sweetheart?” 
You take some time to mull this over. “M’okay,” you decide. “I’m a little sad they had to take my tongue, but it could be worse I guess.” 
“They didn’t take your tongue,” James says, like it’s not the first time he’s had to tell you this, “you just had some teeth removed.” 
“They’re dismantling me,” you say morosely. It’s clear you’ve accepted your fate. 
Remus strokes your hair again, leaning away slightly so you’ll look up at him. You do, and even with your glassed-over eyes and puffy cheeks you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen. 
“I’m glad you’re not hurting too badly,” he hums, cupping the side of your head. You smile dopily and lean into the touch. “I’ve got a pill that’ll help make sure you don’t hurt later, too.” 
Sirius passes you your chocolate milk so you can take it, and James clucks about how you need to take slow, careful sips all the way until you’ve drained the glass. As soon as it’s out of your grasp you’ve replaced it with Remus’ hand, your fingers tracing the lines of his palm with idle fascination. 
“Feel like watching a film?” he asks you softly. 
You hum. “That sounds nice. Can I have the fuzzy pillow because they’re taking me apart?” 
Remus huffs a laugh, and James groans. “Nobody’s taking you apart, darling,” he reasons. “The dentist only took the unimportant bits.” 
“Bit by bit,” you sigh. 
James looks in distress, so Remus takes the crook of his elbow in hand, squeezing lightly as Sirius eases you off the counter and into his hold. Remus thinks you’ll be lucky if he releases you before tomorrow. 
“You can have all the pillows if you want them,” Sirius promises you. “My poor girl, being taken apart bit by bit. You can have whatever you want.”
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kunoiashifts · 2 months ago
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·˚ ༘ ~ ʜᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱʜɪꜰᴛɪɴɢ ɴᴏɴꜱᴛᴏᴘ ꜰᴏʀ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ~ ·˚ ༘
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✩ for the past few weeks, i had been spiraling repeatedly.
✩ it was like whenever i got newfound motivation and a feeling that i'd actually shift, i'd just spiral over and over. i was stuck in a loop of having a good mindset, to having a worse one all over again.
✩ last weekend, i decided enough was enough. i wanted to shift, and i wanted my mindset to be suitable for shifting in general.
✩ i read up on these two posts and realized that i was basically just self sabotaging myself all along. 😭
✩ when i cried and worried about not shifting, i let my thoughts run rampant and persist in the fact that i hadn't shifted yet. it wasn't bad that i felt emotional, it was bad that i felt like my emotions would set me back. and i let them do so. this is why people tell you it's okay to be upset. it's okay to cry. just don't let your emotions dictate your shifting journey because you will get there no matter what.
✩ what i should have been doing was instead of persisting in negative thoughts, i should have swapped them out (i used the photo in the first post linked to help me understand how to do it). even if it hurt to even try to affirm or stop them, i'd let them go if i just forgot about them on my own. after a while, i found myself putting way less pressure on myself.
✩ and to help me normalize revision, i used it for other undesirable thoughts throughout my days. eg. "i hate math class— wait, i love math class because it's so easy!" (and guess what? it became easy just like that!!)
✩ and now, for the fun part. :3 after learning how to revise my negative thoughts, i decided to figure out how to actually get what i want.
✩ and the only key was to know i already have it.
✩ but i had already heard that 1,000 times before. however, when i read up on the second post and learned more about imagination, i realized i had been doing it all wrong.
✩ manifesting isn't about getting. it's about remembering you already have it.
✩ i had heard countless times about how you should "live in the end" and "act as if," but nothing ever stuck with my stubborn brain.
✩ so when i actually sat down and learned how the 3d and 4d worked through imagination using the video linked in the second post, i knew how to get to my dr.
some of the other edward art videos i watched, i genuinely find him so helpful:
Don't Try, But Experience - literally everything clicked for me in this video the most
Imagination is Not A State
Imagination is Self
✩ tldr: once i imagined it, i experienced it. no matter what the 3d throws my way. whenever i got a fleeting doubt, i'd simply revise it. "i haven't shifted yet— what? i'm in my dr right now, what am i talking about?"
✩ obviously it's easier said than done. but trust me, my brain was extremely stubborn before this and didn't take in ANY info i mindlessly bombarded it with. if you just take a second and actually try to understand law of assumption, it will click. and for me, all it took was these two simple posts.
if you'd like to know how i've been getting extremely close to shifting, then here :3 — every night, after using the HMM method and imagining my dr before sleeping, I've gotten very vivid dreams, (multiple about me successfully shifting) a flash of light behind my eyes as if i shifted for a split second, feeling way more connected towards my visualizations, (because now i see them as truth, they're genuine memories from my desired reality.) and overall feeling way more confident in myself. doubts have barely popped up, even if i wake back up in the old story. because i'm living the truth in my true reality (4d). my mind is all i need.
this is why people tell you your mind shifts first.
take that and run with it.
persist in the fact that you've already shifted.
imagine your dr, not as a faraway place, but as a place you've already been to. a place you're already in.
- ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ɴᴏɪᴀ
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castieltrash1 · 2 months ago
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Heyyy! Would you be willing to write a Saxon x fem!reader story with the she fell first but he fell harder trope? I need to see that man crash out when he realizes he’s in love with her (like in that tweet about this trope where the “fell harder” person is like “if I can’t get married tomorrow I will start biting people” 😭😂) thanks!
ty for the req saxon is like a brain worm to me i became addicted to him so im excited for this :3
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saxon ratliff x fem!reader; mutual pining, she fell first/he fell harder trope, mentions of sex, canonical doucheyness heh
you’re not someone saxon would initially concern himself with, especially when you begin to show interest in him quickly after meeting. he likes the chase, the ego boost he gets from convincing someone to change their mind about him. it’s less about turning hate into love, and more about the slight shift from bashful resistance to feeble acceptance. if he knows he has power over you right away, the spark dissipates. this isn’t to say he won’t fuck you -- but that’s probably all he’ll do. whoever you’re on vacation with in thailand (friends, family, even your own brain) will continually remind you of that. hit it and quit it, one night stand, muay thai and chill -- you hear it all.
but you’re determined, which he likes. if you asked why, he’d said he’s not used to women in his life being so forward with their wants/desires, though it’s clear that assumption comes from a very warped perspective of female sexuality. you’re simply the first person he’s really noticed doing it, something he attributes to a lack of external distractions. without pornhub and an explore page full of instagram models, saxon is forced to acknowledge that you want him, not just in the way he's used to, and you’re not afraid to show it.
of course, as he accepts this massive mind-fuck and spirals, you shift your attention elsewhere. if he’s not going to share your passion, why waste your time? you’ve got all of ko samui to explore, with or without him! spoiler alert, it will be WITH him because now he’s trailing behind you like a lost dog. it’s what he’s used to -- the hunt -- but he hates it this time. he hates watching you devote your time to anything or anyone that doesn’t revolve around him. you shouldn’t expect anything less from such a spoiled guy, honestly.
you don’t need to open your eyes to see what, or who, suddenly covered the sun from shining down on you, interrupting your scheduled tanning time. still, you turn toward the emerging shadow, cracking a single lid open to peer at saxon through your tinted shades. he’s in just a pair of swimming shorts, a conscious decision if the subtle flexing of his muscles and position of his crotch inches from your face is any indication.
“if i wanted an umbrella, i would’ve sat under one,” you casually remark, ignoring the way his gaze drags over your exposed skin, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip.
“i think we should have dinner together. tonight.”
“can’t. busy.”
his smile falters, brows twitching together in confusion. he knows he hasn’t been reading the last few days wrong -- you want him, and he’s ready to make your wishes come true. he blinks in disbelief, the silence between you two thick with anticipation, before he scoffs, fingers flexing at his sides.
“uh, okay. fine,” he says, feigning indifference as he stomps off like a tantrum-throwing toddler. “whatever.”
+ once saxon’s groveled enough to get you back, he is NOT letting you go. whatever outings you’ve planned or hotel accommodations you’ve scheduled will now be a couple’s experience! if it’s not something he can join (or make you cancel,) he’ll whine about it for hours before and after, only shutting up when you offer him some form of reassurance. basically, let him help you christen every surface of your suite and he’ll call it even.
white lotus weekend 🪷
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rafedaddy01 · 3 months ago
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Rafe fing his babysitter outside in the snow
His whole family and wife inside the house only a few meters away
And they are fing outside on the ground
Not being able to keep their hands of each other
A/N: guys I’m so sorry 😭 I know I haven’t posted in awhile and I have requests that have been in my inbox for a long time. But I am getting around to them. I promise 🙌
-
You hadn’t expected to end up like this—flat on your back in the snow, freezing, your winter jacket soaked through. The cold bit at your skin, but it was nothing compared to the fire burning through you. And it was all because of him. Rafe Cameron had a way of getting under your skin, of turning any situation on its head. One second, you were standing your ground; the next, you were tangled up with him, breathless, his lips crashing against yours. His hands gripped your waist, his body pressing into yours, and suddenly, the cold didn’t seem so unbearable. Because when Rafe kissed you, the whole world blurred.
This was all wrong. Every part of it. Rafe Cameron was your boss. You were practically part of the family, a second mother to his kids, there every day, tucked into the rhythms of their lives. You practically lived with the Camerons. And Mrs. Cameron—she was so kind, so trusting. How could you do this to her? But when Rafe’s lips traveled down your neck, when his hands gripped your waist like he couldn’t bear to let go, all those thoughts blurred, drowned out by the heat of the moment. Because for now, none of it seemed to matter.
All you could think about was the heat—the way it spread through your body, drowning out every last shred of reason. Rafe Cameron, the most wanted man on the island, was unbuttoning your jeans. His hands, chilled from the night air, warmed against your skin as they slipped lower, fingers teasing over the thin fabric between you. Each touch sent a new wave of fire through you, making it impossible to think about anything—anyone—but him.
A soft moan escaped against his lips as his knuckles brushed over you, sending a tremor through your legs. The ache, the need—it was almost unbearable. Rafe smirked, drinking in every sound you made, reveling in how easily you unraveled beneath his touch. But you both knew time wasn’t on your side. Just beyond these walls, his family was inside, only a few meters away from your reckless, sinful indulgence. And yet, that only made it more exhilarating.
Your fingers fumbled with Rafe’s belt, urgency making them clumsy as you undid it and pushed his jeans down. A sharp breath left him when your cold hands wrapped around him, quickly warming against his skin. But he didn’t falter. His lips stayed locked with yours, his touch relentless, knuckles brushing over your core, drawing out every shaky breath, every quiet gasp. The world beyond this moment didn’t matter—only him, only this.
He quickly lost all patience, shoving your jeans and panties further down in one swift motion. A shiver ran through you—not from the cold, but from the way he looked at you, eyes dark with hunger. Then, without hesitation, he lined himself up and thrust forward, stealing the breath from your lips.
Your nails dug into his forearms as he braced himself above you, palms pressing into the snow on either side of your head. The cold left imprints beneath his hands, but neither of you felt it—too lost in the heat of the moment, in the way your bodies moved against each other.
The only sounds filling the night were your ragged breaths, mingling in the cold air. Rafe’s piercing blue eyes glistened under the moonlight, his gaze heavy with desire. Each exhale came in soft, visible puffs, matching your own. He didn’t look away—not for a second. Lust darkened his features as his hips moved in a slow, deliberate torment against you, dragging you deeper into the heat of him, into the moment neither of you could resist.
He felt so good inside you, every movement sending a fresh wave of pleasure through your body. Every time you did this, it was a rush—intoxicating, addictive. A feeling you never wanted to end.And you knew Rafe felt the same. It was in his eyes, in the way his body responded to yours, in the unspoken words that lingered between you. The way he looked at you when you were around his kids, the way his voice softened when he spoke to you—it was all there, impossible to ignore.
He thrust faster, harder, driving you to the edge until a loud, uncontrollable wail tore from your lips. Before another sound could escape, Rafe’s palm came down over your mouth, muffling your cries. “Shh,” he murmured, his breath hot against your skin, though the smirk tugging at his lips told you he loved every sound you made.
You shot him an apologetic look, your eyes pleading for mercy, but before you could say a word, your head fell back, your eyes rolling in pleasure. The sight only fueled Rafe’s ego, a smug smirk spreading across his face. He knew the effect he had on you, and it only made him hunger for more.
He fought to keep quiet, his jaw clenched, struggling to hold back the sounds threatening to escape. But the closer he got to the edge, the harder it became, each movement, each breath making it impossible to stay silent. His groans grew louder, raw with need, as he lost the battle against his own pleasure.
The way you clenched around him, tight and desperate, drove him absolutely wild. Each movement, each soft gasp, only made him lose control more, pushing him further into the edge of madness. He could barely hold himself together, every inch of him consumed by the intensity of it.
That’s when you felt it—the warmth of release, of tension unwinding inside you. His ragged breaths mixed with yours as his body started to soften, but he didn’t stop. He kept moving, steady and persistent, not easing up until he felt you reach the peak of your own pleasure. His hips continued their rhythm, deep and measured, making sure you finished before he allowed himself to let go.
“Fuck,” was the last thing you managed to whisper before your back arched, the world narrowing to nothing but the rush of pleasure that overtook you. Your body tensed, every muscle igniting as you finally let go, a wave of release crashing over you.
Taglist
@f4ll-for-you @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf @rafescokenostril @thievin-stealing @rafemotherfuckingcameron @starkeysheart @wearemadeofstardust0 @theoraekenslover @mema10 @writingroom21 @wtfdudesblog @akobx @obxrafeandjj @romantasyreader2024
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olivianyx · 1 year ago
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'OF COURSE' METHOD ♡
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I think I found a new method based on those trending tiktok trend that goes like 'we're besties, of course we make fun of the same person for the 700th time and never get bored' or 'I'm the oldest child, of course I'm responsible for my siblings' mistakes' and blah blah blah. I made this as a method 😭 (don't judge me, it's just for fun)
This method mostly helps for rampaging or vaunting. You can use this as robotic affirming too.
THE METHOD ♡
Step 1: know clearly what you desire. Cus sometimes you prob be confused what you want, so know what you really desire.
Step 2: have a mental idea of it or a visual of it. If you can visualise, that's fine. If not, go on Pinterest to find it.
Step 3: Ask yourself, if you have what you already desire, what will you feel or do with it. If it's a material, how would you wear or keep it. If it's love or peace or something that's not materialistic, how would you feel everytime. Ask yourself and write it down or type it in your notes app.
Step 4: the actual method! suppose you wanna be an IT girl/boy, so you go affirming in front of the mirror or to yourself! If you have a friend who's manifesting just like you, try this trend in terms of manifestation with your bestie 😭 you need to affirm or rampage like ----->
'I'm an IT girl, of course I'm the most prettiest of them all'
'I'm an IT boy, of course I'm the most handsome of them all'
'I'm an IT girl/boy, of course I'm rich asf'
'I'm an IT girl/boy, of course I'm sexy'
you can use anything that implies the fulfillment of your desire aka which you already have. So you can affirm that you're rich, pretty, handsome, successful, happily married or you have your desired job or you were accepted into your desired university or anything you desire.
MY EXPERIENCE WITH THIS METHOD ♡
Flashback to 2019
I manifested meeting my old friend with this method. The last time we had met was back in 2019, and she moved to Germany in 2020. We still had contact through Instagram. But still we we're besties since we were like 7 😭 as I had no friends back in quarantine, I only had a few online friends and her (her name's Dina btw)
Time skip to now
So I saw this tiktok trend was everywhere, so I wondered why can't use this as a method. So I went affirming in front of the mirror (actually you don't have affirm in front of the mirror if not comfortable) 'we're besties, of course we're together since 13 years and we'll still be always' and 'we're besties, of course we can't wait to meet each other everyday'. Guess what? In the next days, she texted me that she's moving back to Sydney 😭😭😭 I was fucking sunghooned 😭😭
I was like gurl what? How? When? Why? Where? She told me that she wanted to medicals along with me since arts is not interesting 😭 she was accepted into our uni a month ago and did not tell me 😭 now she's gonna join my junior batch and study with me! I was sooo happy y'all 🥹🥹🥹
Believe in yourselves, there's already movement. Just like in my case there's always movement even before you notice. So don't give up! Keep persisting in your assumptions! Love y'all bye 🫶
(I'm sorry it was short, since uni's being a bitch 😭 comment if you have any doubts, I'll gladly answer them 🫶)
- olivia 🤍
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unintentionalseductress · 3 months ago
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Hi! I had a request if it's okay and I thought I'd send it to your inbox like you asked me to :))
The vision I kinda had for it was ultimately inspired by the fanart and now that I actually think about it, perhaps it's something like rafayel's an outlaw and she's the future queen or sm and they're having a secret affair and ultimately they're caught one day and so her father's furious cs like as you said in the Nanami one, she's supposed to be absolutely pure until marriage so when she's caught with Rafayel doing the dirty, it's absolutely js like 😨😡🤯 for her father, I didn't know how else to explain it srry 😭😭 but yh and so now her father's in a rush to marry her off without further embarrassment but then her and rafayel elope but they go through the deserts, like in the fanart, so nobody can chase after them and uh yh 😭 the only smut I envisioned would be at the beginning of it cs personally, I can't see them doing it in a hot and sandy desert 😖 so uh yh
But tyyy 🫶🫶🫶
-📚
Promised Sands
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Warnings: MDNI, sex, angst, mentions of death and violence, reader experiences depression and thoughts of taking her own life briefly A/n: Book anon and I had a chat about this fic, and after getting more details, she said she wanted it loosely based off the Aladdin AU I wrote for Nanami . I am still writing the Zayne and Dawnbreaker fic but inspiration somehow found me and this ended up being written quite quickly. And this is only my second oneshot for Rafayel, like WHAT?! I don't write enough for him.
You sit miserably on your bed, staring out of the barred window at the silhouette of the city in the distance. The bars were a recent addition, placed to discourage you from trying to pull a Houdini a few days before your wedding. 
Your future in-laws were already at the palace, no doubt being shown the lavish grounds and amenities they could expect once their son officially became your husband. The thought made you sick to your stomach because you neither asked nor wanted this wedding. The setting sun cast long shadows across the palace grounds and painted the sky various shades of gold, tangerine, and magenta, and your mind couldn’t help but wander to last week, when you had been unburdened by the prospects of marriage and your heart had been full of love. 
You supposed you should have known better, but how was one expected to resist the natural pull of desires coming alive when your loved one was near? The longing of wanting to be tucked into their embrace, of feeling their lips on yours, and the press of your skin coming together as passions overflowed, the magic of it all glowing like embers from a fire, rising and disappearing into the air.
No one had suspected the Lemurian initially. It was well-known he was a gift to you, and that due to their unwavering loyalty bond, he would never be able to take advantage of you. But what the royal family hadn’t anticipated was that you would consent to being taken advantage of by the Lemurian.
Rafayel had been your steadfast companion for years, since you were a child and he had been presented to you on your birthday. And although you had given his freedom, he returned to visit regularly, bringing back gifts each time; bangles for your wrists, fancy hair ornaments, and little glass figurines that littered the small tables all around your room. No one had suspected that as both of you grew older, that you’d develop feelings for each other that went beyond master and servant. No one thought the princess with the blessed heart would choose him, someone that they had considered less than human, unfit to be your romantic companion in their eyes. But how wrong they had been, and when the king had discovered the extent of your affair, his wrath was terrifying. 
When Rafayel had been discovered in your bedchamber fully clothed, while you lay naked on the bed with nothing more than a bedsheet wrapped around you, the king had demanded his life as retribution. You had screamed, begged and pleaded, and the memory of the king’s look of disgust was burned in your mind as you kneeled at his feet, clutching the bedsheet like it was armor. It had taken 4 men to restrain Rafayel, and as they dragged him away, you could still hear his grunts of pain as the guards had kicked and punched him as they took him away to the jail underneath the palace. 
It had been a week since then, and you had trailed pathetically behind the king ever since, until he had coldly informed you that Rafayel had been beaten to death. There was no remorse in his tone, not even a slight offer of comfort. In the same deadpan voice, the king had informed you that your marriage to the prince of a neighboring kingdom had been arranged, and that no one needed to know you had been “ruined” before your wedding night.
Shortly after, he had hired some servants to put bars on all the windows in your bedchamber, and security constantly patrolled the wing where your living quarters were. It wasn’t necessary; you had lost the will to fight after learning about Rafayel’s demise. 
You cried, feeling like your heart was breaking into pieces, bleeding, yet cruelly refusing to stop beating. Why couldn’t it halt, just give out and end it all? You’d considered taking your own life, yet each time you eyed the small dagger that you’d hidden under your mattress, an overwhelming bond held you in place; perhaps your self-preservation instincts were too strong. And thus, you fell into a trance, a state of being on autopilot. Dutifully, you had presented yourself to the prince, had allowed your handmaidens to preen and fuss over you, dressing you in fine silks, painting your lips the reddest of reds and patting rouge onto your cheeks to give you the look of a blushing bride besotted with her betrothed.
Internally, you were screaming, but your body felt too exhausted to muster the energy to match the rage boiling inside you. You had looked in the mirror, not recognizing the reflection that stared back at you. There were bags under your eyes, a grief-stricken droop in your posture, yet all your ladies in waiting tittered on about how beautiful you looked, and that once you were married you’d have more dresses than your wardrobe could accommodate. You felt ashamed. If any other person had been as close to you as Rafayel had, you’d be wearing the standard black gown that signified mourning. It felt like a smear on Rafayel’s memory that you were lamenting his loss so keenly, yet unable to show it in your attire. 
Now with two days left to your wedding, you had resigned to your fate. Dusk had fallen, yet you can hear the cacophony of voices from the balcony. A pre-weddng celebration. Delicious smells wafted into your bedchamber, accompanied by the sounds of laughter and music. Everyone was celebrating your upcoming nuptials except you. Your handmaiden had attempted to get you dressed for the evening but you had been so uncooperative and listless that she’d given up, settling for the reassurance that at least you weren’t trying to escape anymore. 
Suddenly, your stomach roiled, feelings of deep disgust welling up inside you and bubbling out like molten lava. You slammed all the windows shut, making no effort to hide your disdain for the sham of a welcoming party the king had put together for your supposed fiancé. You locked the door and began to tear apart everything in the room. You knocked over lamps unflinchingly as the delicate glass shattered onto the floor. You threw the fairytale books from their shelves, ripping out pages from some of them, tearing the pretty illustrations depicting princes and princesses getting their happy ending. You dipped your calligraphy brushes into various pots of ink and dragged them along the walls, haphazardly stroking chaotic lines of color into the walls. And you screamed all the while this happened. Tears flowed unrestrainedly down your cheeks. If they refused to let you honor him quietly in black, then you’d do it loudly, in the most violent shades you could find. 
This was your grief. It was not theirs to control, and you felt the dam of emotions you had been holding back come flooding through. You allowed yourself to remember everything; nights spent on the balcony whispering your fears and secrets to him, using little henna cones to trace patterns onto his hands, and letting him do the same for you, marveling at how much bigger they were than yours, with those long, slender fingers. You remembered the softness of his hair and how the wind messed up his bangs and how his eyes turned into the most breathtaking shade of lilac as the sun caught them. The way his eyelashes rested like fans on his cheeks while he was sleeping, and the gentleness of his lips as he kissed you. 
You didn’t care about the purity laws. You had done nothing impure, nothing worthy of the scorn the king had been giving you the past few days. What was revolting was the way everyone else was behaving, acting nonchalant like your childhood companion hadn’t been beaten to death within the very walls of this palace you had called home. So you kicked, your voice calling out his name like a wild animal, holding yourself to prevent your being from falling apart at the seams, your fingernails leaving little bloody marks in your sides as you did so. 
When the rage finally quieted down, the room was in shambles. It brought you a great sense of satisfaction, your throat raw from your lamenting. Exhausted, you collapsed on the bed, and the anguish turned quiet. You could feel it still crawling under your skin but the cathartic destruction of your bedchamber had dulled it. 
You knew you’d never love the man who was to be your husband. How were you to sleep with this man? This person who hadn’t even questioned the circumstances under which this marriage had been proposed? 
Shivering from the adrenaline withdrawal, you bury your face into your pillow, desperately recalling all the times Rafayel had made love to you. Your hands start to wander, softly touching yourself, cupping your breasts, and sighing as your fingers wandered to the space between your legs.
Rafayel’s lips were cool against the heat of your bare skin. You were blushing from your lack of experience. There’s a playful mischievousness in his eyes as he trailed kisses down the column of your neck, coming to the valley between your breasts.
“Is your highness pleased?” He had teased, looking up at you slyly, enjoying the way your cheeks turned pink. You had averted your gaze, trying not to make it obvious how much he was affecting you, which had only amused him. 
“It pleases me when you’re pleased, ya know?” His mouth had closed over a pert nipple, suckling with the perfect pressure that had made you whimper needily, feeling moisture gathering in your core. Heat gathered in your belly and your toes kept curling into the sheets as he pleasured you. 
When you dared to look at him again, his eyes glittered with dark desire. 
“Tell me my lady,” he had whispered as he’d pushed your knees apart to settle in between them. “Are you in need of my services? All you need to do is ask.”
Your breath had caught in your throat as his fingers gently spread your wet lips apart, revealing the little engorged bud in between them. Rafayel’s tongue gave it a wet lick and your back had arched in pleasure, a wanton noise escaping you. You had waited for him to continue but when you felt nothing, your eyes cracked open for a second only to see him gazing intently at you.
“I await your command my princess,” he had said patiently even though desire was eating away at him. 
“Rafayel, please,” you had gasped. “I’m yours.” 
Relief had flooded your system as his tongue found purchase between your folds, his spit gathering onto the swollen membranes as he tasted you. Your body felt like it was in heaven, becoming lighter and alive under his ministrations. The room had filled with the lewd, moist noises of his tongue lapping away at your slick folds, sucking your clit with care until your mind was a mess of hot need. You had struggled to reach the peak, almost losing concentration until Rafayel’s hand had reassuringly held yours and your fingers had interlaced with his.
The thoughtful gesture had been the thing needed for you to find the courage to tip into the abyss of desire where all that existed was him and the desires of your own body. You felt all the senses leave you as you orgasmed, your clit spasming in ecstasy as your hole fluttered in urgent need. Your thighs trembled and you moaned his name as he licked through the aftershocks. 
After every last drop of your pleasure had been drawn, he’d held you against him, helping you come down from the intensity of the high. You could feel his erection pressing hotly against your thigh, barely contained by the thin fabric of his underwear. Boldly, your hand had slipped into it, grasping his length and stroking, drawing a hiss from him. 
“Impatient princess?” he had asked with a lilt, trying to fluster you again, but his teeth were gritted at how good your small hand felt on his cock. He’d guided you, showing you how to hold him, how much pressure he liked, and once you’d mastered the movements, he’d allowed himself a brief moment of indulgence, surprising you when he stilled your hand.
“I won’t last long if you keep this up.” His hand brushed your cheek and he’d kissed you before rolling you under him. 
“I promise this won’t hurt too much.”
Your body tensed when you felt his thick, rounded head probe your entrance, carefully notching into the tight space.
“Don’t worry.” Rafayel snuggled your body close to his, peppering your face with little kisses. “I’ve got you. Just keep breathing. Nice and deep.” His hands cushioned behind the back of your head and you trained your eye to focus on the fine ring of inky black that surrounded his mesmerizing irises. Your body stretched around him, the tightness almost unbearably painful, and Rafayel had paused several times to let you adjust, gently sheathing himself inch by inch, kissing away your tears. He’d stilled when he had finally bottomed out, and you realized your body no longer felt like it was being split apart. You let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in, and everything inside you changed.
Rafayel gave a testing roll of his hips and when you clung to him moaning, he’d picked up the pace, thrusting into you, merging your bodies into one. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist and you held on tight as he pushed into new realms of discovery. 
You withdraw your sticky fingers from your cunt, skin slick with sweat, glowing with the effort of giving yourself that orgasm. They could marry you off, tell the world whatever they wanted, but they couldn’t take away what Rafayel had shown you. You would play the obedient, meek, little princess for now. But someday, you didn’t know when, you would leave. You would find a way to escape from this gilded cage, and never look back. 
This newly found resolve calms you, and you manage to fall into a fatigued sleep. 
𓇼 ⋆。˚ 𓆝⋆。˚ 𓇼
There’s a tapping noise on the glass of your window, and you awaken abruptly, eyes blinking to adjust the darkness of the night. You find your heartbeat quickening as you spy a shadowy figure lurking outside the glass. Who had managed to get up there? You glance around your room for a weapon, then freeze when an achingly familiar voice calls, muffled through the closed window.
“Open up!”
You blink, looking wildly at the blurred stranger. It couldn’t be. He was dead. You scramble to your feet, trying to calm your frazzled nerves. 
A ghost? Had he come to say goodbye? 
With a trembling hand, you reach out to undo the lock, not daring to breathe as a tall man dressed in black leather pulls out a strange looking tool, cutting the iron bars in one go before swiftly entering your room. 
“Rafayel?” Your voice is unsteady. You can tell he’s injured. His wrist had been splinted and his beautiful face bore bruises. 
“Yeah, who else did you think it was?”
“They told me you were dead!” The words were a broken whisper.
“What, did you think I’m that easy to kill?” Rafayel tries to smile but his lips bear a half-healed cut and he winces as he does so. “Princess, I could never die so easily. Didn’t I promise that I’d get you out of here someday?”
Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. Needing confirmation that he was indeed whole and human, you cup his uninjured cheek with an unsteady hand, feeling the heat of his skin, and the soft expulsion of air as it left his nostrils. Rafayel’s eyes soften, and he pulls you into a tight hug, reassuringly patting your hair. 
“I’m here my love.” He presses a kiss to your hair. “But we have to move. Quickly. My comrades said they’d keep watch, but it won’t be long until they give the signal. We need to leave as soon as they do so.” 
He looks around the room, inspecting the havoc. “What happened here?” 
You manage a watery smile, dashing away a tear. “A funeral.” 
No sooner had you said the word than a sudden flash of light burst into the sky. Peering outside the window, you see it ascend into the sky, before exploding like a firecracker, the lights arranging themselves to form a fishtail. Screams erupted from the palace grounds which had otherwise been peaceful.
“We’re under attack! Call the guards!” Voices echoed from the din, panic setting in amongst the citizens. 
“That’s our cue.” Rafayel looks at you and there’s a hint of uncertainty in them. “Unless you’d rather stay?”
“Never.” You quickly tiptoe to plant a kiss on Rafayel’s lips. He’s startled for a brief moment, then breaks into a wide grin. 
“Time to go my beautiful bride.” 
He takes your hand and helps you out onto the narrow ledge of the window. It was pitch black outside, the fishtail signal’s brightness engulfing all the stars glimmering in the background. 
“We jump.” He holds your hand firmly. “One, two, three!”
You wisely hold in your scream as you leap off the edge with cold nothing underneath your feet, plummeting a few feet before you suddenly bob up into the air. Looking down, you realize you’re standing on something soft and fluid. A flapping noise can be heard as whatever it is rises into the clouds and whisks you away from the palace. Night air wipes your hair as Rafayel holds you tightly to his side. 
Once you begin to sail through an unbroken patch of moonlight, you glance down to see your vehicle was a giant manta ray, its flat, pancake-like membranes lazily undulating in the sky as it carried you into unknown lands. 
Rafayel helps you sit on the massive creature’s back and joins you, protectively pulling you against him to shield you from the wind. You glance up at him. 
“So you heard about the wedding then.” You probe and Rafayel nods, but you notice a flicker of rage in his eyes when you brought it up. Hastily, you add, “I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it. I only asked because you called me a ‘beautiful bride’.”
He turns to look at you, lowering his hood as he does so. “If I recall, I called you my beautiful bride.” The intensity of his gaze makes you blush and you quickly avert your eyes to the starry sky. 
“What do you mean?” you ask shyly, then your breath catches in your throat as Rafayel digs into an inner pocket of his garb and pulls out a ring of gold, with a large sapphire set in the middle. 
“My beautiful bride,” he repeats, and wordlessly slips the ring onto your finger. You look at it with tears in your eyes, then sniff as you’re pulled into his loving embrace. It was almost presumptuous of him not to ask, but wholly unnecessary in your opinion. You didn’t want to be anyone else’s but his. 
Very little was said for the rest of the journey, but words weren’t needed. You knew there would be plenty to talk about once you got off this ride, once you were presented to Rafayel’s entourage, wherever they were. Instead you settled for the knowledge that he was alive, and that you were free from the expectations of the palace. 
It was uncertain how much time had passed, but the manta ray began to descend, the air growing warmer as it got lower to the ground, casting a long shadow as it did so. You look around and sense the dry quality of the air, seeing the sand dunes that were everywhere and realize you were in the middle of the desert. The area was still and quiet as your ride landed with a soft thump on the sand. You and Rafayel disembark, and the creature vanishes into thin air. 
“Where-?”
“Back to the sea. A god never forces a creature of the deep to remain on land for too long.” 
You glance around and squint, seeing silhouettes in the distance that seem to be heading your way. 
“That’s our party. Right on time.” Rafayel offers his hand to you, smiling.
“Let’s go say hi. I want to properly introduce them to the future queen of Lemuria.”
Your heart swells with affection, remembering all the times you’d talked about marrying him, about being completely his for all of time. Holding onto his entwined fingers, you take your first step into a life of beautiful freedom. 
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© unintentionalseductress original work | no copying, plagiarizing or translating
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xoxochb · 7 months ago
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Hi! how are you? I hope well. I'm super stressed studying for college finals, and your Percy stories help me with all the stress. Do you think you could do, if you want of course, a Percy Jackson x daughter of Zeus? where she is stressed with college and he helps her? something nice and softhave a nice and sunny day!!
— high achiever ꣑ৎ‧₊˚.
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warnings: none! pairing: percy jackson x daughter of zeus a/n: I wrote this kinda quick I’m sorry I was in a rush trying to finish this and study myself 😭
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ambition was a strong personality trait consisting with children of zeus. you got this strongly— the desire to achieve high academic goals, nearly impossibly goals sometimes. and yes, studying was fun, but studying was additionally stressful. and in these times of stress you were lucky to have your boyfriend sit beside you.
“you’re gonna overwork yourself, sweet girl.”
“I know— I know, but I really need to finish this.”
percy sighs. “did you realize you’ve drank four cups of coffee in the last hour? and you’ve chewed half your pencil off?”
“shit—” for a moment you take your eyes off your notebook and look at your desk where two separate mugs sit, completely empty. then you look at your pencil that has tiny teeth marks on it. you frown. “just give me five more minutes, kay? then I’m all yours.”
“what does five minutes mean to you? another half an hour? because that’s what you said thirty minutes ago.”
“I know,” gods, why are you going to cry? you weren’t the one being ignored so percy could study. “but I really need to finish— I can’t fail my finals of everything.”
“and I get that, angel,” percy takes a few strands of your messy around his fingers, attempting to calm you down. “but relaxing is just as important as your studying is. you need an equal balance.”
he gently takes the pencil from your hand and places it down on your notebook, then takes your face between his hands, kissing your forehead lightly.
“just let me take care of you, alright?”
you want to fight this— to tell him no and that you need more studying time. on the other hand, you know he’s not going to give up until he’s got you calmed down from your over-stressed state of mind. you sigh and nod your head obediently. percy smiles and pecks your forehead again, beginning to close your books shut. he takes them all between his arms and walks to your desk, placing them into a neat pile atop it.
he walks back over to your bed where you sit, outstretching his hand and ushering you to take it. which you do— because who would you be to say no? he drags you to your dresser, picking out comfortable clothes for you to sleep in (which consist of a pair of shorts and one of his shirts you had stole).
“you know… I can do this myself, perce.”
“I know,” he smiles, beginning to discard of your day clothes and exchange them for the new ones. “but I like to help.”
again, you can’t find it in yourself to fight him. you let him place on your new clothes and then drag you back to your bed. he instructs you to lay down as he walks to your desk and blows out your candle (this is one of the only times you’ve seen him so responsible) and shutting off your lamp before at last re-joining you on your bed.
“c’mere, sweet girl.” he beckons you into his arms. without a second thought you allow yourself to be wrapped around him, and his hand rubbing comfortably over your back. “go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“are you sure?”
“you know what? now that you say it, I’m not too sure…”
you perk your head up from his neck skeptically, squinting your eyes at him. he only gives you a boyish smirk in return.
“saw this nightclub down the street, might head there for a while. y’know, get drunk, hook up with a few girls…”
“shut up,” you laugh. he makes a zipper motion over his mouth, throwing the invisible key somewhere in your room. “you’re an idiot.”
“I like to think that I’m your idiot.”
“proving my point… what happened to your zipper? did it break?”
“guess so. but only so I could do this,” he pecks your lips. “and so I can scold you about sleeping.”
“my eyes are closed, kay?” you return your head to his neck with closed eyes.
“great, now try shutting off that brain of yours.” he taps the top of your head twice. like magic, you feel a sudden drowsiness wash over you. in response to his asking, you hum quietly.
“‘s off.”
“now zip your lips and sleep.”
“kiss ‘em first. please?”
he doesn’t say no to that, happily giving you what you ask for. and you hold up your end of the deal too.
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mehiwilldoitlater · 9 months ago
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please my dear author , please!!!!! I'm begging you, Give me satisfaction with your story, please😭❤️...
May i've a reaquest headcannon for, wife s/o x sun wukong,They both are always together and fight together, even die together 😭... Please my dear author, you are my only hope .
(btw, s/o is good at healing magic, she even fights using magic)
How funny and how ironic, Wukong thought, to be held in his last moments in the arms of the sword brother that once he had tò defeat in battle.
His breath reduced by a raspy whisper, his chest now covered in blood by the wound... eh, come to think of it, he didn't feel any pain now, just numbness.
His hears, then, grasped One of the many breaths there, one that, like him, was reaching their last moments. He could recognize that breath between thousands, and then he sensed a feeling of dread. He wanted to reach her. The bull sensed his desire and obliged.
In a pool of blood, a feminine body lay. Her chest covered in arrows, her once white hanfu now in a Splendid Crimson shade. The eyes of the monkey gleam from the sad view.
A bride, even in her last moments. His bride, his wife, his everything.
You were his, and he was yours, and so the sage wanted to be until the end.
The bull was able to lay him down next to you, a small moment of peace on the battlefield.
You two really did a lot together?
///
You were mere servants for one of the seven fairies, a body between many. You never asked for something more, you never asked to be different, and you never asked to be noticed by anyone. Too much trouble, you always thought.
But you were different. Despite your humble position, you were born with abilities that, even amongst many immortals, were quite rare. Healing powers, a sacred ability that just a few could learn but were born with? You were special, but you just hoped for a humble life. 
But even in the celestial realm, nothing can just stay the same.
You first saw him when he was ordered to the Jade Emperor. Hiding behind some officials and other servants, the first thing that caught you was his manners. He wasn't a bride; he was just treating the most important being in the world like some random people. You should be shocked, but... It's nice? You wondered what kind of person was the new keeper of the horses...
///
"Master Wukong Is Amazing!"
"Since he's the one who's taking care of the celestial steed, all of the beasts are in great shape!"
Wukong was always someone who loved the praise and the compliments, but something was quite off. It was true, he was the best keeper that the Celestial stables everything had, but he had noticed something a little strange.
Sometimes, maybe by accidents or by distraction of the owner, one of the horses came back injured or with some small wounds. He had always done his best to take care of them, of course, and the next day the same wound was soon gone. More than anyone, he was supposed to be happy or proud by this, but he knew something was playing a trick on him. Surely, another one would have believed that it was the same horse that had such an ability like that, or everything that stables themselves, but why then call for someone to take care of the horses if there was something like that?
One day, he finally knew the answer.
When the day was almost over and the Night Patrol deity started to prepare for his work, Wukong wanted to check on the horses and remembered that one of them seemed quite unwell after a bad day with its owner. 
When he reached the stables, he seemed quite pleased to find the door unlocked, especially since he knew that all of his helpers had left for the night. He noticed there the light of a small lantern, and there he decided to move. Taking the form of a fly, he started to buzz in the direction of the light, and what he saw left him pleased.
"Poor one, did they mistreat you, uh?"
Your voice seemed so kind and gentle; the horse was immediately putty in your hands. Sitting on an overturned bucket, you gently caressed its snout and Maine, coercing it to give you its injured leg.
"I know what it means; don't worry, I'll treat you right away."
And, under the incredulous eyes of the Great Sage, a dim light started to shine in your hand, and, by just caressing it, the wound was good and gone!
"There, all done!" You said happily, keepnon caressing the horse, "Now you look good as new!"
The Great Sage couldn't control himself; you had picked up his curiosity like nothing before! Like a bolt, he immediately took back his true form and started you and the horse.
"Easy horse, brother!" He esclaimed, calming the beast, "Do not scare the precious one!"
You feel a sense of panic. You were caught, red-handed, in the celestial stables tending the horses that weren't even your own duty, by the keeper himself. You kneel before him, your face in the dirt, hoping to appeal to his kindness.
"Forgive me, master! I didn't intend to do any harm! I just wanted to cure these poor creatures! Please don't report me! I beg you!"
He looked at you with quite the interest, bent down to touch your head, laughing a little.
"Come now, precious one! I'm not in need of this kind of guidance! I punish who's wrong me, not who does good!"
You raised your head a little, your forhead dry from the mud of the pavement.
"You...you won't?"
"Not as long as you're going to share with me that trick of yours, precious one!"
"My Lord, I'm not precious at all! I'm just a servant."
"Tell me your name; even if you'll be precious to me!"
"I'm Y/N, master; I work under the Seven Fairies, daighters of the Jade Emperor. And...my powers are just my powers; I was born with them."
"Oh, a servant?!" He seemed indignant by your statement, "How can it be?! Such powers are for gods and immortals! Not for servants and cleaners! They had made a mistake with your position!"
"Oh, no, master! I'm where I wanted to be! I do not care for my position; I just enjoy my life as it is."
He pondered, Little, what a strange little thing you were. Such amazing powers, and yet so humble?! So interesting, very much indeed! He circled you a few times, causing you to emit a few giggles, even if you tried to keep them in your mouth. 
"Say, do you like these horses?"
"Yes, master! Quite Indeed!"
"Then! Come to me every day at this same time! I want to know you better!"
///
And so you kept your promise. Every day, after your choirs, you were welcomed in his own palace, treated like an equal. Sometimes you've dined, sometimes you've just drunk tea, but every time talking with him seems so natural. You showed interest in his home, to the point that he wanted you to pay a visit there with him next time.
He loved having you around; you've never looked him down, always so modest and kind. You were truly a precious one to him! He never loses a chance to greate you, even in front of the other servants and celestials.
And so rumors started to spread. 
The Bimawen found a friend in the Seven Fairies servant. The girl likes to spend time with horses and monkeys, they said. Some even complained that you smelled of animals.
Once, one of the seven sisters even forced you to take a bath and tò not touch anything until you were completely cleaned. It was so humiliating.
But you decide not to tell anything to the Bimawen, afraid of some reaction. And yet, something still happened.
One incautious immortal had decided that he needed to provoke the monkey and reveal his true position in the heavens! You were sure he was aware of it. Instead, they decided not to inform him! He was furious! He destroyed the stables and fled away from Heaven.
He had one regret: leave you there alongside those foolish arrogants! But he could not force you, not someone like you.
So imagine his surprise when the youngest monkey proclaimed to have captured an immortal, only to come to him withbyour in their grasp!
"Y/n?!" He screamed, reaching you with a jump and taking you in a bone-crashing hug. "My precious! Why are you here?! Did you finally decide to come and green my children?!"
"Oh Wukong," you caressed his head. "The Celestial Palace is enraged! They want to capture you! They're sending an army here!"
He laughed, finally setting you down, caressing your delicate hand.
"Old Wukong is not afraid of them; I'll let them regret having provoked the Great Sage equal to Heaven!"
And while you wondered when the battle could begin, he showed you his kingdom. A land with no palaces, no rules, only swore brothers and sisters that believed in each other's strength and power. They were equal in each eye, and all of them were ready to fight for each other. It felt right...
Sun Wukong had shown you to everyone with pride, calling you his precious one, the one that can heal with her hands. And even if he loved to braga about you to everyone, he had always shown respect and never forced you around. He wanted to praise you like he should, but he wanted you happy.
It was the first time in his life.
///
"My precious... I wonder...do any of those morsels up there ever tried to court you before?" He lay on the ground, enjoying your scratch on his head.
"Not at all, my Lord. They never looked me at all, and since I know you, they avoided me."
"It feels me with pride then! That I'm the only one that had the chance and the right to court you properly!"
"You...courting me, my lord?" Your cheeks took a crimson shade, embarrassed but yet intrigued.
"But...why me? Of all the matches, why me?"
"Because you had made something that a few had done, you had intrigued me." His hand taking yours, covering them in kisses, "so say yes, bye mine forever. Let's live in peace!"
And so, with a kiss on his lips, you accepted.
///
He did keep his promise; he defeated the immortals that had been sent to capture him. He forced him to find a new strategy, giving him what he wanted!
And most definitely, he decided to have you have his own. His wife, his precious wife, was the only one that he really cared to have by his side.
You wanted to be more—not for everyone to acknowledge you, but for him. Rakshasi had you as her disciple. She taught you, and she was able to unlock your true potential. And he knew, and he loved you for that.
When you both returned to the Celestial Palace, he wanted people to greet you both, but your hopes weren't so high.
In their eyes, you were still a servant, and he was still just a monkey. That was something that they would never stop seeing.
But you learned that respect should be earned, not given, so you stopped being the respectful one. If someone offended you, you responded, well, know that now not only your own fury was feared, but the one of your husbands too.
///
"My love, this is wrong!" You tried to convince him, whispering between the peach trees. "We shouldn't! We should guard the immortal peaches! Not eating them!"
"AH!" He picked another one, giving it a huge bite. "I'm the Guardian! Why shouldn't I? And those knuckles head Will never noticed of a few have been eaten, my dear." 
He extended the same peach, his mischievous eyes tempting you.
"You and I... We deserved more, my love. Why deny it?"
Yes, why? The immortals were never Just with both of you, that was the right payment that he deserved. Your mouth became full of the peach pulp, and soon the lips of the monkey claimed your now immortal ones.
You desecrated even the same soul of that orchad.
And soon, you both were meant to desecrate more.
///
When he learned from your former masters, the Seven Fairies, that you weren't invited to the banquet of the mother of the west, he was furious.
You were at his side when the Seven Maiden started to mock him and yourself.
"A stone monkey and his mate to the royal banquet? How absurd!"
"He can come and make a dance for us; she can serve us for sure!"
Their laugh was what enraged him the most. How dare they mock you in front of him?! How dare they make funny of the Great Sage wife?!
When the maidens were immobilized by his spell, by the look on his face, it was clear that he planned nothing but troubles.
When the two of you came in the Great All, he put everyone to sleep and then started to drink and eat everything that his eyes could possibly lay on.
"Wukong, this...this is not necessary! We should stop!"
"Stop?!" He looked at you, throwing away a cup full of wine. "They made me do it! They've never been fair to us! I won't stop! I refuse! Come, my beloved, let's drink and wine at their own expense! Let's feast! And when we're full, let's bring the rest to the children!"
And so you did; you drank and drank wine with him, uncertain of this action. The emperor... he would be enraged... but he was right, they treat you both poorly... still...
And so you drank, trying to put down your worries in the alcohol, afraid of the future. You tried to put at rest the fear. And so, Cup After Cup, you fell asleep. You didn't remember all; only your spouse brought you something shining in your mouth, with a huge grin on his face.
When you woke up, you were both back to your mountain, and your fear was true.
///
"I BEG YOU!" your head on the ground, like the first day you both met, "ask forgiveness! Do as they say! Don't bring your people to war! Do not harm them! Please!"
His swore brothers Look at you with pity while he keeps on looking at the thundering skies. He couldn't turn back down.
"My precious one, I refuse to beg for Mercy! I'll make them see what happens when they play against me!"
Then his eyes became gentle only when he looked at you. His hand cupped your face, looking at your crying eyes. How he hates to see your gorgeus face crying.
"Go with Who can't fight my beloved; stay with them! The world of war is not meant for you."
"If you refuse to beg for Mercy," you held his hands against your trembling chest, "then I'll fight with you."
///
And so you did; you did fight alongside him and his generals against the celestial army... but it wasn't enough.
Not against Erlang Shen.
When he was taken away, you were held hostage in the palace, forced to see the tortures and every plan to kill him. But in the world, nothing has ever worked.
When they put him in the Lao Tsu Trigram furnace, you thought they had lost him. No matter how much they torment you, no matter what pain, the thought of the loss of your husband was too. much to bear, but he wasn't dead; no, he became stronger.
Nothing could have beat him, and, for a moment, you really thought that he could become the new emperor...
But he played against more capable opponents.
///
You could still Hear him moving, struggling against the rock, gnawing at the mud, trying to get out and break free from the golden sigyl.
"You're hurting yourself more..."
"WAIT until I break free!"
"You won't..."
"Are you doubting me?! "
You get, starting to walk away, your cold expression couldn't even manage to hold his fiery eyes longer than a second.
"Where are you going?! Stop!"
"I'm going to find our people. They fled in the fight. I'll do what I can."
"We'll do it when I'll break free! WAIT!"
When you turned around, you were the one holding an enraged expression. Your fists were so tight that your hands were white, and your lovely (y/c) eyes were of a deep red color.
"I wanted you to stop! To reconsider it! But you didn't listen! We could have been happy and serene, but you... you just wanted more."
He wanted to scream back, but he heard it—your hiccups, your sobs.
"No, please! Don't cry! I can hold everything, but seeing you cry breaks me deeper." He struggled again to reach you, to console you, but another strike from the sigyl stopped him. You didn't want to hear him again; you just wanted to leave, and so you started to walk away again, ignoring his screams.
"PLEASE! I'll Fix Everything! I'LL DO IT! PRECIOUS ONE, PLEASE!"
///
As the seasons change, you change for the worst. You became something else.
Your power, once maid to help and protect, became cold like ice. Your colors disappear, pure white, like a ghost you became. You even started to forget your name.
With no one to come back, your people were hunted by the Celestials, abandoned, and hated by everyone. With no place to go, you became a demon.
For 500 years you prey on mortals, other demons, and such, until fate acts again and a monk and three pilgrims cross your path.
And your heart longed for two things: your husband and the flash of the Tang monk.
But your story was short-lived, you guessed. 
///
Wukong held you in his arms, your fragile body against him. You were like a child, deep in slumber, while your old color started to come back.
He did what he could; he suffered enough, all for one thing: a second chance for you.
He sensed your struggle in your sleep, his footsteps echoing in the depths of Mount Huaguo. 
"Shhhh...sleep..."
Yor hands grasped his tunic, feeling the rasp material under your finger.
"Wukong, I had... a dream."
"A Dream? It was good?"
"No, it was a nightmare. I did so many bad things... I hurt you and someone you care for."
He stayed silent, only holding you closer to him. "It was Just a Dream, my love...nothing more."
He laid you down on the altar, covering you with some furr. He stayed there, admiring your tired expression.
"Sleep now; when I'll be back, you'll tell me all."
"Where are you going?"
"...finish a job...but I'll come back soon, so do not fret. Your husband would never abandon you."
You smiled, feeling his lips caressing your forhead. You felt safer now; he would come back soon.
And so he closed the door made of rock of your secluded prison. A sygil, one similar to the one that he once had, and a spell made to you sleep.
He didn't noticed, but he started to weep while he was closing It.
///
He did it; he finished the job. He became Buddha; he obtained a position so secure that he could grant you and himself freedom.
But he was never meant to be free, wasn't he?
He wanted you out of this conflict; he tried to protect you, but you were so stubborn, so eager to protect the husband that had pulled you back from those 500 years of misery...and instead there you were, at the brink of death.
How ironic and unkind...
He felt something—a warm touch to his chest. Your palm emitted that kind light; you tried to use your power on him one more time. He held your hand and stopped you.
You were so tired and you looked at him. He seemed so tired...and yet he smiled.
It's fine. That's enough. No more.
In your last moment, you couldn't help but cry, sobbing, with one consolation of dying at his side.
He wanted to hold you close to him, tell you that everything would be okay, and not be scared because he was there with you. He could only caress your face, trying to stay closer to you, avoiding more pain from the arrows.
And while the divine light was ready to engulf you both, he prayed one last time.
He prays that, if his plan works out, to meet you again, to fix the mistakes of the past, and to tell you how much he love you one more time.
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a-kind-of-merry-war · 2 months ago
Text
Ok. Ok right SO. This is inspired by this piece of art by @scrunggly-art. I had not intended for it to be this long. Or this... heartfelt?? I don't know what happened 😭 It's not even as smutty as I had intended it to be!!
In which Hans awaits Henry's return from a mission, planning how to give him the Best (Fucking) Evening of his life. 5.6k words. Rated a very firm (lol) E. Basically PWP with a side of "Hans has feelings and gets angsty about it".
-> Also on AO3! <-
⚔ ⚔ ⚔
The problem, Hans thinks, is that Henry is simply too skilled a lover.
It's an absurd thing to complain about. Anyone else would be thrilled to have such competent, gentle hands taking them to pieces every night. And he is: no mistaking that, Hans is very content with he and Henry's blossoming relationship. Yet still - in the morning, once the glow has faded - there's that mean little voice in his head.
Henry's just too good.
It isn't about the sex, not really. Hans isn't stupid enough to assume this is about the prowess of Henry's hands and mouth and cock. It's because he's Henry, because he's fucking fantastic at everything he does. He's a skilled swordsman, hunter, speaker, archer, blacksmith… he even rides better than Hans. He's trained his damn dog to do things Hans had assumed impossible. Everything he touches turns to gold, and Hans can't help but suspect that everything his noble hands touch eventually turns to shit.
No: that's not quite right. Hans is an accomplished fighter: he's survived more battles than most men have even seen. He’s an excellent bowman. He's charming, most of the time. He's a good hunter, even if his skinning leaves a lot to be desired. And he is a good lover. He's never had any complaints, in any case, and certainly not from Henry.
Yet still, he fears, he could be better. Henry leaves him a boneless mess: more sweat and lust than man. Hans is needy - he always has been, always grasping and grabbing for things he wants.
He begs. And, sure, Henry asks, Henry wants. Henry gives him that look across the yard while they're sparring which means the only sword he's thinking about is the one in his braies. But it doesn't feel like enough.
No matter what they're doing, no matter who is where, whose mouth is on whose cock or who is buried balls-deep inside the other, Hans is left ruined, and he thinks - no, he fears - that Henry doesn't feel the same.
Besides, more than anything - more important than Hans’s ego and his foolish anxieties - he wants Henry to feel good. He wants him to feel better than good, after all he’s done for Hans and what feels like half the population of Bohemia. Henry is always giving. 
But no more. He's Sir Hans Capon. He's the last one to back down from a challenge.
He's going to make it fucking perfect.
He plans it to the letter. They’ve been apart for a few days: Henry is off helping Zizka and a handful of others with something, always eager to get stuck in. He won’t be back until midafternoon at the earliest, and even then there’ll be drinking and carousing and the typical celebration that inevitably follows a job well done. They won’t be alone for hours, and for once, that’s just what Hans wants.
He prepares their room first. Technically it’s Hans’s room, but Henry has all but moved in over these past few weeks. Their clothes tangle together in the chest at the foot of the bed, their shoes warm by the fireplace. The various trinkets they’ve picked up - books, charms, ornaments - sit side-by-side on the single shelf. Hans suspects that the others have noticed how intimately intertwined their lives have become, but no one has yet seen fit to point it out.
Despite being a lord, and thus it is very much not his job, he strips the bed and replaces the sheets with clean ones: the softest he can find. He even sweeps the floor, clears out the spent ashes from the fireplace, and hauls up a couple of armfuls of fresh logs, ready for the evening. He rides out towards the nearest town, where - dressed as plainly as he dares - he speaks to a merchant and buys a vial of oil. He pauses with the coins warming in his hand.
Two vials.
He also purchases a few handfuls of dried marigold, which he adds to the vials as he stops to rest at the side of the road. They say it’s good for lovers, but frankly, he knows Henry likes the smell.
Henry and Zizka haven’t returned by the time he gets back to Devil’s Den, so he has a little time to place the bottles somewhere close to the bed and ensure everything else is in order. He fills a jug with fresh water, sluices out the basin, and finds a couple of clean rags - well, clean enough - for the inevitable mess that will follow that night.
He changes, too, stripping out of the somewhat ragged gambeson he’s been wearing and back into his favourite golden yellow pourpoint. This is one of Henry’s favourites too: a week or so after the end of the siege and their return to Devil’s Den, Henry had pushed him against the back wall of the stables, his warm hands gripping Hans’s waist, his lips whispering over Hans’s ear.
“This fucking thing—” he’d said, hands tightening. “I’ve always thought— I’ve wanted—”
The rest had been a blur of murmurs and sighs. Hans feels like he’ll carry that memory with him forever, and certainly every time he wears the yellow pourpoint. It’s like a secret signal now: when Henry sees it, his eyebrows raise and his expression turns devilish.
With nothing much else to do, Hans feels a little lost. He’s prepared the room as best he can, and he knows for a fact the innkeeper has already made sure there's enough barrels of beer in the basement to sustain them. All he can do is wait.
It’s absurd to feel so nervous. He and Henry have been friends - friends, and something else besides - for what feels like an age now. It’s not as if they’ve never fucked before. But he’s been twisting this little idea around in his head for so long that it’s all he can think of, all he can focus on.
He heads down into the tavern. He refuses a drink - if he starts now, by the time the sun sets he’ll be utterly useless for anything besides falling asleep - and instead challenges the innkeeper to a game of dice. It feels like a fucking age has passed, although it can’t be more than a couple of hours, before he hears the tell-tale sound of horses and chatter and Mutt’s low bark.
He’s back. Hans is on his feet in an instant, getting up with such haste that he nearly sends the table flying. He attempts to correct himself to not appear overkeen, decides it’s not worth it, then rushes outside.
Zizka is leading their little rabble, as always, Henry and Kubyenka close behind. Henry spots Hans immediately, giving him a small wave. He’s covered in blood but, Hans thinks, what’s new there? It’s more important to ensure that it’s all someone else’s blood. Zizka dismounts swiftly and Katherine rushes over, their heads bent in clandestine discussion as they lead his horse to the stables. 
“You survived, then?” Hans asks, sauntering over as Henry leaps down from Pebbles’s back.
“Aye,” he grins. “Just about.”
“Good.” Hans claps a hand to his shoulder, the most he dares get away with when the others are watching. “You fucking stink.”
Henry pulls off his helmet. His hair is slick and stuck to his forehead: he’s clearly worked up a sweat to go with his coating of blood.
“I need a bath,” he says, wiping his face with the back of his hand. The effort does very little, save smear a streak of blood across his forehead.
Hans rolls his eyes at him. His grand plans can wait: he doesn’t want Henry in his bed like this.
“You really do,” he agrees. “Come on, before the others use up all the clean water.”
He drags him towards the baths, shoos away the lingering bathwench and closes the flaps of the tent. He starts to help Henry out of his armour, doing his very best not to get viscera on his pourpoint. This is not, exactly, how he had anticipated this afternoon going. That’s his own fault, he supposes: he should know by now that any expedition involving Henry is more likely to end in bloodshed than not. He places the armour, and Henry’s clothes, aside to be cleaned.
It’s not all terrible. Helping Henry bathe counts amongst the more pleasant things he could be doing, after all, even if that’s all he’s permitted to do right now, exposed as they are. And there’s no better place to begin the noble art of seduction, either.
He unbuttons his sleeves and rolls them up as best he can so he can dunk his hands beneath the water. He smooths his hands down Henry’s back, pressing into the taught muscle, wiping away blood and grime and sweat. He moves lower, as low as he can without falling into the bath himself. Henry makes a broken-off little sound as he does; clearly his mind is drifting the same way as Hans’s. He turns to his arms, next, enjoying the feeling of the taut muscle beneath his palms, then down his sides. He can’t reach much deeper without getting himself sodden, and placates himself with the soft brush of Henry’s chest.
“Hans—” Henry makes a low noise, shuffling out of Hans’s reach.
“What?” Hans says, all innocence. “Can’t I help my friend bathe after several days’ hard work?”
Henry does that fond little head shake that makes Hans’s stomach flip.
“You can,” he mutters, leaning against the rim of the tub, “but if you continue like that I’ll pull you in here with me.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?”
“And ruin this?” Henry reaches out, stroking a single finger across the silk of Hans’s pourpoint. 
Hans hums. He knows Henry’s right - they certainly can’t get up to anything here, anyway, when anyone could walk in - and he really doesn’t fancy a dunk in the tepid water right now.
“Fine. But I am helping you bathe. You’re covered in shit.”
“It’s blood, actually.”
“Wonderful.”
Next comes Henry’s legs - his knees, really, which Henry lets fall open obscenely as Hans moves around to kneel at the other side of the bath, giving Hans a truly marvellous view of his cock and balls between his thighs, his prick already hard beneath the water. Hans sucks air in through his teeth. Maybe it’s worth ruining his pourpoint afterall.
He’s rudely disturbed from those thoughts by Henry shoving at him with his wet foot, making him stumble back on his arse.
“You fucking prick—”
From the tub, Henry laughs, as Hans gets back to his feet and stares down at him, arms folded across his chest.
“What?” Henry asks, grinning.
“You’re a boor,” Hans huffs. 
“Says the man staring at my cock.” 
“Hurry up, then, if I’m not allowed to help. I’m famished.”
Henry rolls his eyes at him and gets to quickly scrubbing away the rest of the blood and sweat.
“Didn’t you eat while you were waiting for us to get back?” he says, while Hans tries not to think about how attractive his fucking armpits are.
“I—” Hans blinks. He had, in fact, been too distracted that morning to eat more than a couple of figs which he’d poached from Godwin’s plate.
Henry shakes his head as he gets out of the tub. Water cascades from his body, rushing down his chest and legs. Hans momentarily forgets what they’re talking about, before grabbing a sheet and for Henry to dry off with and tossing it towards him.
Hans stands back as he exits the tub, dripping. Henry’s skin is pink from the heat and scrubbing. Hans takes a quick look around, ensuring they’re alone, then ducks forwards and presses a quick, sudden kiss to Henry’s back. Henry spins around and Hans dances away, already out of his reach.
“Now, now,” he teases, grinning at him. “Behave, peasant boy.”
Henry dries himself off quickly, Hans looking away as he does, well aware that his self control has never been that good, then dresses from the pile of clean clothes that Hans dug out for him. They’re simple, comfortable things: Henry always complains after wearing heavy armour and thick, suffocating gambesons, and Hans can see the relief in the slump of his shoulders to be dressed in something easy again.
“How do I look?” Henry asks cheekily, extending his arms.
He looks - normal. He’d ridden back into Devil’s Den looking like a knight, like a bloodied man returning from war. In the simple dark blue tunic and green hose he looks like any other man, like a blacksmith, like one of the gang. Like Henry.
“Perfect,” Hans says, truthfully. “You look perfect.”
Henry blushes. Hans doesn’t pretend he hasn’t seen it, looping an arm around his shoulders and leading him back towards the tavern. As he pushes him inside, he moves his hand to the very small of Henry’s back, letting his fingers linger for just a moment. He swears he can feel the muscles there tense.
The tavern is already noisy, the fire roaring and the ale flowing freely. Hans is assaulted by the cloying scent of fresh-cooked meat, and makes a beeline for the table, pulling Henry behind him.
The afternoon drags into evening. Henry sits at his side, a mug in his hands and laughter on his lips. Hans presses against him, their knees knocking together. Hans steals his cup when his own is empty; Henry snatches the last chicken leg from Hans’s plate before he can eat it. It’s a little dance, like two bodies moving as one.
Beneath the table, where no one can see, he places his hand on Henry’s thigh. Henry doesn’t even react - save a brief glance at him from the corner of his eye. Hans slides his hand higher. Henry’s leg is warm, the muscle firm.
Neither of them speak - at least, not to each other. Henry carries on his conversation with Katherine like Hans isn’t inches away from his prick.
Hans grins to himself.
The night whirls on. Someone starts singing, the others joining in. It’s so loud in the tavern with the cacophony of voices and stamping and mugs banged on tables that no one else can hear when Hans leans into Henry’s space and whispers in his ear.
He intends to say something salacious, something to heat Henry’s blood, ready for the sensual feast Hans intends to gift him later. But what slips out, unbidden, is anything but.
“I missed you,” he says, the words out before he’s even realised he’s saying them.
Henry, too, seems surprised. He’s used to Hans whispering filth into his ear, not soft confessions. He turns, eyes wide and gentle.
“Oh.” He laughs. “I missed you too.”
Hans’s chest squeezes, his heart missing a beat. He swallows.
“Of course you did,” he says, trying to batter through the sincerity with a joke. “I don’t know what you do without me.”
Henry laughs again, shakes his head in that soft, terrible way once more, and Hans suddenly wants nothing more than to kiss him, to grab him by his wide shoulders and press their lips together, right here, in front of everyone. Fuck his plans, fuck fucking: he just wants Henry.
He doesn’t do that. Of course he doesn’t. He pushes that thought down, and does what he does best: he pushes. With no one looking their way and their backs facing the wall, Hans reaches around and gives Henry’s arse a swift, tight squeeze. Before Henry can react, he takes his mug from his hand.
“I’ll top us up, shall I?”
Hans takes the moment alone to calm himself, to refocus his mind. He isn’t the only one after more beer, and he’s considering simply shoving Kubyenka out of his way when Katherine appears at his side with a sigh.
“By the time he’s done it’ll all be gone,” she says.
“Do you think he’ll notice if we push him over?”
“Like that? I doubt it.” She turns to him. “Are you alright?”
Hans blinks. “Of course,” he says. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
She purses her lips, then turns to look across the room. By the fireplace across the way, Henry is staring at them. When he spots her, he quickly looks down.
“No reason.”
Katherine saunters past him and goes to fill her own mug from the barrel. Hans hadn’t even noticed Kubyenka stagger away. When he looks across the room again, Henry’s gaze has returned to him - so sure it’s like he can feel it drifting across his skin. Something in his chest goes numb.
He puts the mugs down beside the barrel and is hurrying outside into the cool night air before he even realises what he’s doing. There’s a handful of people out here, drunkenly slumped over benches or chatting, and he quickly darts around the corner of the building. 
He leans against the wall in the dark, staring ahead at the treetops slowly moving in the breeze. What’s wrong with him? He’s Hans fucking Capon, not some blushing virgin village girl having her first fumble. He shouldn’t be acting like this, not over a fuck with a man he’s done the deed with several times before.
An owl hoots in the darkness, as if chastising him. He takes several deep breaths. His mind is warring with him, playing tricks on him. It’s like that fucking canon, how for weeks every ceiling felt lower and every wall felt closer. It’s not real, whatever this is he’s feeling.
But it is real. His heart is pounding and his skin is tingling with sweat and every time he thinks of Henry he loses a part of himself - and every time Henry is by his side that part returns, better and brighter. Every time Henry goes off on some new adventure Hans has to bury down the hot, tight anxiety that tells him this time, Henry won’t come back. He doesn’t allow himself time to examine it closer when Henry returns: it’s easier to be happy, and lusty - simple needs, simply fulfilled.
The night before Henry left during the siege on Suchdol feels like it was months ago, years. The man who sat on that bed terrified that Henry would die and the man leaning against the wall, terrified of losing him, are a thousand leagues apart. Hans stands by what he said that night: he doesn’t know what he’d do without Henry. He cannot imagine going on without him.
Things have changed since then, of course they have. Their friendship, strong as ever, is now supporting something more. But the soft vulnerable heart that Hans exposed to Henry that long night has been shut away again. 
He peers up into the sky, the twinkling stars, the slender dash of the moon like a knife hung in the heavens. 
He knows the truth of the thing. He’s not stupid: not entirely stupid, no matter what others think. When he’d heard the story of the two knights, his heart had ached. He knows what it means, what this feeling is, even if he keeps it locked in his ribs where it belongs.
“Hans?”
“Shit—” 
His treacherous heart nearly jumps out of his mouth. He spins around, pulse thundering, to see Henry standing there, looking worried.
“You scared the shit out of me, Henry! Jesus Christ!”
Henry looks abashed. “Sorry,” he says, coming to lean beside Hans on the wall. “You alright? You just ran off.”
“Fine, fine,” Hans lies. “I just— needed some fresh air.”
“Right.”
Henry clearly doesn’t believe him. He edges closer, pressing their arms together. Hans resits for just a second before leaning his head on Henry’s shoulder with a sigh. This was supposed to be perfect, he was supposed to prove himself. And now - as he does all things - he’s fucked it up.
“Hans…”
He turns with a huff. “Wha—”
Henry kisses him, cupping his jaw, keeping him close. Hans’s whole body goes soft beneath his gentle touch - all parts bar one - his bones loosening, his muscles relaxing. He leans into the kiss unthinkingly, giving himself over. Henry takes his bottom lip into his mouth, catching it between his teeth, and—
Hans breaks the kiss. He should tell Henry to stop, warn him about the others…
He grabs the front of Henry’s shirt. “My room?”
Henry grins. “With pleasure, my Lord.”
They stumble past the others. Hans cannot tell and doesn’t care if they notice them skittering past, laughing and shoving at each other. They make it to his room in a hot rush, falling over each other. Henry shuts the door, sliding the bolt to ensure they’re not disturbed. As soon as he’s done, Hans grabs his shoulders, twists him around and pushes him against the locked door with a thud.
Henry barely has a moment to take a breath before Hans is on him. He forces him against the wood and kisses him like he’ll die if he doesn’t, one hand pressed to his shoulder, the other to his hip. Henry makes a noise of shock, smothered beneath Hans’s mouth, then grabs him back, his hands going - as Hans knew they would - to his waist.
It’s only been a matter of weeks, but Hans has spent those weeks as a devoted scholar to Henry’s body, to his desires, to all the things he likes most. He kisses him roughly, fiercely, sliding his tongue past Henry’s lips. Henry allows the intrusion willingly, grabbing him even tighter. 
Hans wants to draw this out, wants to make Henry desperate before he grants him release, but it’s hard to do so dressed as they both are in these damned high-necked, form fitting clothes. He tugs at Henry’s collar, attempting to undo the ties one-handed, then gives up and sets to them with his teeth. Henry makes a hollow noise when he realises what Hans is doing, sliding his hands up Hans’s back.
Finally, the ties come loose. Hans tugs the fabric down so he can press his lips to Henry’s skin, nuzzling into his neck, coating him in hungry kisses. Henry hisses. Hans opens his mouth wider, scraping his teeth softly against Henry’s skin. This is one benefit to such high collars: it’ll be easier to hide the bruises he intends to leave there.
He holds Henry against the door, kissing all the places he’s able. He can feel Henry’s cock hardening between his legs, rubbing against Hans’s thigh. He presses closer, grinding down upon it. Henry curses under his breath.
At this rate, Hans fears, he’ll inflame them both so much that there won’t be any damn time to please Henry in the way he wants to. He grabs Henry’s arms and tugs him away from the door and towards the bed. Henry grins at him, letting him lead. Hans can almost hear the words Henry isn’t saying out loud: anything you say, my lord.
They fall onto the thin mattress, panting and eager. Hans sits astride Henry’s lap to finish the important task of removing his gambeson so he can run his hands across the warm, soft flesh beneath. Henry grins up at him, his expression open and adoring. Hans feels like he might perish being the subject of that gaze: he’s not sure he deserves it.
Henry pushes himself up, grabbing Hans around the middle so he doesn't fall, and kisses him deeply. Hans melts into it, humming into Henry’s mouth, holding onto his shoulders. Henry gets to work at the buttons of Hans’s pourpoint with well-practised hands. The first time they’d pulled him out of the garment it had taken an age - all those fucking buttons, which they’d cursed the whole time - but since they’ve learned exactly how few it takes to get it off and on the floor in as short a time as possible.
It’s not long before it's off, followed by Hans’s undershirt. He leans down to kiss Henry, pressing their bodies together. His prick grinds against Henry’s through the thin fabric of their braies. He leans back so he can appreciate him more fully: there is no sight he likes quite as much as the view of Henry’s cock tenting the fabric of his underclothes, framed indecently between his hose. It makes him want to touch, want to kiss and fondle and suck. It would be a shame to strip him entirely, if he weren’t so majestic underneath as well.
“Hans?”
Henry is watching him, Hans realises. He’s lingered too long, gazing down at him. 
“What?” he says, lowering himself down to kiss him. “Am I not allowed to appreciate my—” 
He hesitates. What is Henry, to him? His page? His bodyguard? His lover? It’s too big a question, especially with the spectre of his own future looming behind his shoulder. He’s Henry. He’s everything.
He doesn’t finish the sentence; it’s too hard. Instead, he kisses Henry into silence and gets to work on the ties of his hose. Henry seems happy to be distracted, wriggling out of them as Hans tugs them down and tosses them aside. Next goes his braies, the thin fabric threatening to tear beneath Hans’s eager grip. 
Henry smooths his hands down Hans’s chest, sliding his fingers beneath the edge of his underclothes. He brushes across the sensitive skin, teasing, soft and gentle: a question. Hans kisses him - his answer - and soon Hans is bare too. Henry makes a soft little hum as he looks up at him, and Hans can’t help but feel a smug beat of pride in his chest at how eagerly Henry takes him in.
“Hans…” his eyes are wide and staring, his lashes absurdly long even in the flickering dark. His lips hang open. “Hans, I—”
Hans panics. He doesn’t know what Henry is going to say next - he cannot let himself think that way - but his expression is so vulnerable and true that it makes Hans’s chest hurt. No, no: you can’t, don’t—
He silences him with a kiss, simultaneously wrapping his fingers around his prick. Henry moans into his mouth. Hans doesn’t know if he’s swallowed down whatever he’d been about to say or has forgotten it, but what comes next is further sighs and stuttered sounds as Hans works him.
God, but he’s beautiful. Hans can’t stand it. Typically he’d be jealous, but when Henry falls apart in his arms all he can feel is honor that he’s his.
…in a way. For now he can claim that Henry belongs to him, at least in the safety of his own head.
Henry groans again, and Hans wants. Wants more than he ever has done before. He rolls Henry over, getting behind him, placing his legs to either side of Henry’s hips. Henry makes a startled sound as he settles between Hans’s thighs, his arse pressing against Hans’s prick. Hans shuffles back, maneuvering them both so he’s leaning against the wooden headboard, sandwiched between the cool wood and Henry’s flushed skin.
He slides his hand down Henry’s chest, dragging his fingernails through his dark hair, feeling the chiselled-out depression of his muscles, the twitch of his hips and hitch of his breath as Hans sneaks ever-lower. He brushes his fingers through the thatch of hair between Henry’s legs.
Henry arches his back, stretching his arms. He reaches backwards, one of his hands coming to grab at the poster of the bed behind Hans, the other grasping desperately for Hans himself. Hans leans into his touch as Henry’s fingers slide through his hair, cupping the side of his head, clinging to him. Hans takes Henry’s face in his free hand, turning his jaw gently. He can feel the hot huff of Henry’s breath against his mouth, the shared air between them.
Hans clings tighter. Slowly, he brushes a gentle finger down Henry’s cock. He’s velvet soft and desperately hard, and for a brief moment Hans regrets putting himself here where he cannot properly appreciate it: with his tongue, for example. Henry makes a low noise in the back of this throat, his legs opening, knees parting as Hans rubs his thumb over his head.
Finally, he gives Henry what he needs, wrapping his fingers around his prick. Henry pushes back against Hans’s own cock, nestled in the cleft of Henry’s arse, and Hans whimpers right into his ear. He begins to move his hand, stroking him, squeezing him, the shape of Henry’s length against his palm almost as familiar as his own. Hans digs his fingers into Henry’s jaw, keeping him in place: he wants to look at him, wants to see, when he tumbles over the edge.
Henry’s cheeks are flushed, his mouth hanging open and lips glistening with kisses. 
“Hans—” it’s barely a whisper. “Please—”
How could he deny that? How could he deny Henry anything? Hans knows that Henry would do anything for him - does Henry know he’d do the same for him? 
He does as Henry asks, moving surer, more quickly. He wishes he’d thought this through more - the oil is just on the table, just out of reach - but his intentions to use it are ephemeral and smoky, now. Henry is in his lap, between his legs, begging him. Hans wouldn’t let him go for the world. The building could collapse around them and he wouldn't untangle their limbs.
Henry moves against him, his breath coming in sharp bursts like they’ve been punched from him. Hans moves faster, surer, his dextrous archer’s hands finally put to good use. Henry makes a bitten-off noise and tenses, and Hans can tell he’s close. There’s a single suspended moment, then Henry groans, and releases across his stomach. Hans guides him through it, not letting go until he’s entirely spent.
The air is hot and sweet. Henry slumps back against Hans chest, finally releasing the bedpost. Hans is surprised there aren’t indentations carved into it from where he was gripping it so tightly. He drags a lazy hand up and down Henry’s chest, making him shudder.
Something hot and urgent builds in his chest. It’s not the familiar urgency in his belly, the one making his cock twitch against Henry’s arse, but something else: something sweeter, and more dangerous. Henry sighs, twisting himself around between Hans’s legs so he can better hold him, better see him.
He looks at him with those huge, blue eyes, lidded with sleep and satiated lust. A laugh bubbles from Hans’s chest, borne through shock: shock that he’s even here, that he’s even allowed this. Henry looks at him as if he’s gone utterly mad.
“Are you—”
“Fuck it.” Hans kisses him, nuzzling their noses together. “I love you, you filthy bloody blacksmith’s boy.”
Henry goes still in his arms, his fingers hesitating where they’re playing against Hans’s skin. He swallows. His lips twitch. Shit. That was the wrong thing to say. It was true, and beautiful, and wrong. Perhaps he can play it off as a joke, or a declaration of companionship, not love. He tries to sit up, but finds himself trapped beneath Henry’s bulk.
“I—”
He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else. Henry kisses him with such fierceness that Hans thinks he might just die, there and then. They’ll have to bury him out the back in the woods, and poor Henry will have to explain why. 
When Henry pulls back, Hans is seeing stars.
“I love you too,” Henry says, his face split into a wide grin. “Jesus Christ, though, Hans, why say it now?”
Hans shrugs. “It felt right,” he says. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about since you left.”
He realises it’s true as he says it. The eagerness for Henry to return, the panic about making it perfect, the bone-deep fear that he isn’t enough. Getting the feeling out of his chest and into the air is a relief unlike any other.
Henry laughs at him, shaking his head, before pressing another kiss to his lips, his cheek, his jaw.
“I—” he frowns, brow furrowing. “I’ve thought about it too,” he says. “All the time. I keep thinking— I keep worrying it’s not allowed. That I’m not enough.”
If it wasn’t so damn sad - and so damn untrue - Hans would laugh. They’ve both been mired in their own fears - their own fears of the same thing.
“You are everything,” he says instead. “Frankly… I’ve worried the same. That you’re so perfect that I’ll never match up.”
Henry’s mouth opens a little. “So that’s what all this is about,” he says, slowly. “Have you spent three days worrying you’re not good enough for me?”
Hans hates how easily Henry sees through him. “No,” he pouts.
Henry knows it’s a lie. He kisses him again, then rolls them both over so they’re face to face on the bed. 
“I love you,” he whispers, the words tumbling to the sheets between them. “I love you. All of you.”
Hans’s chest is tight. However much he plays at being good with words, true ones, like this, always leave him breathless. Henry notices, gifting him a teasing smile.
“So,” he says, as if the matter of them being apparently in love with each other can be moved on from so quickly. “I saw there’s a new bottle of oil on the table. Any reason?”
“Two bottles,” Hans corrects him.
“Someone’s been spending all their money.”
“Someone else,” Hans says, shuffling closer, “is an insatiable harlot.”
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”
“Henry!”
“What?”
Hans kisses him again, kisses him into silence, kisses him into submission. Henry rolls onto his back, taking Hans with him, holding him tight.
“Now what?” Henry says, watching him carefully.
Hans considers the question for a moment. Now comes the future, navigating the world with this love in his chest. Now comes marriage and duty. Now comes making a choice, a real choice. Now comes war.
He kisses him.
“I don’t know,” he says truthfully. “But I think we should start with the oil.”
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