#“people improve when they get external love and support”

[potato-on-your-head]

Yes! And not only that, but it's also heavily implied that whatever family Fink did have was... not good. His lines about his mom's parenting style are played for laughs, and they're absolutely funny in the moment ("swimming's easy! I can teach him the same way my mom taught me. SWIM!" *drop-kicks the child*) ("My mom used to rock me to sleep. LIKE THIS! *swings a literal rock*). And yet, moments later, when they're addressed in a serious manner, you realize that Fink was actually confessing just how messed up his childhood was.

Right after the rock incident, he tells Roz, "Hey! I turned out just fine." That's the CLASSIC line that (cw child abuse) plenty of people whose parents hit them as a kid will say in response to how you, like, should not hit your kids. The fact that his mom threw him into water and said sink or swim and also got him to sleep in a forceful way is indicative of nature's harshness, yes... but it's also a metaphor for cruelty in real-life parenting. And boy does that resonate.

He reveals it all when Roz asks how he can tell a story about something he claims not to understand: love. Fink's body language shifts to both protective and vulnerable as he's all curled up. Then he admits, "Yeah, well, when you grow up without something... you spend a lot of time thinking about it." Okay, ouch. Major character motivation unlocked.

Once Roz powers down, Fink looks wistfully at her, leaves his comfy bed, and goes and settles in under her arm, curled up close to her with Brightbill above. It speaks volumes about how he admitted something and now finally has someone caring about him - and now that she's not awake, he's free to actually seek out the affection he wants without having to explain it away with a witty one-liner.

We don't get a lot of details. Fink definitely could've lost his family young. And however long he had his mom clearly damaged him and his worldview. Roz is the first one to care about him not just in a long time, but possibly ever. Which makes it all the more poignant when you see him helping raise Brightbill with things he never got.

The story Fink told Brightbill might not have even been something his mom told him. It might have been what Fink wished his mom had told him. A story he thought up late at night, imagining it being narrated by someone who loved him.

An aspect I highly admire about The Wild Robot is the manner they explore Fink’s implied trauma, when he helps Brightbill go to sleep with that story about a loving mother finding her son. Likely a story Fink’s mom shared with him as a child to help put the guy to sleep.

It’s never outright stated word for word, but God you can feel Fink’s underlying solitude, pain, and sadness throughout this film’s run time. Fink clearly lost his own mother, along with whatever other relatives, he had at a young age to nature’s harshness, leading to a selfish loner attitude, until Roz crashed into his life.

One moment that seriously stood out to me is before the winter storm slammed into their island Roz asked Fink about love and he says, “Dunno. I wouldn’t know anything about it…”, as he walked away with a crushed look on his face into the darker part of the forest. Going deep into his lowly nest curled up into a ball alone. It says so much, by doing very little dialogue, about Fink’s life he has led up to now.

Love it when movies have you read more in between the lines on scenes to get an answer.

[pokimoko]

The fact that Main-verse Ooo is as good and as kind as it is (relative to the other universes shown so far, at least, it's obviously not perfect) all because of the same character that starts off as the OG series' antagonist, the person we were made to see as the bad guy (albeit an often ineffectual one) for several seasons, is making me lose my mind.

Imagine finding out the guy you spent your childhood beating up and saving princesses from is in fact a driving catalyst behind you being able to exist, and not only exist but also live in a world that knows what kindness is. All because that man, the same man who you've witnessed do terrible things, once met a little girl and taught her how to be good.

Simon's story really shows us that even if you lose your way and forget how it is to be good yourself, the world keeps the memory for you. That act of love Simon showed Marcy by protecting her and seeing her as more than the monster she thought herself to be created ripples upon ripples, small at first but eventually enough to help give their wreckage of a world—a world that easily could have been forsaken, its goodness overlooked because of its inhospitable remains—a chance to grow into something beautiful. Because of those very same ripples Simon created, the people of Ooo grew up in a world where they know enough about kindness that they were able and willing to spare the 'bad guy' some, to see beyond the wreckage and allow him to grow too.

In saving Marceline, Simon helped to not only to save the world, but also himself.

[fullscoreshenanigans]

What's your thoughts on Ray and Norman's conversation after the spy reveal, where Ray says Norman should've discarded him and Norman says he would've but Emma convinced him otherwise? Was Norman really going to do that? (sorry if you've already talked about it but I missed;;)

You're good! I talked about the framing of the end of the scene here forever ago in internet time, touch on it here as an add-on to a post regarding the false belief there was a rivalry founded on the basis of a classic love triangle inextricably integrated into the core of the narrative (i.e., Norman and Ray actually dislike each other because they're both vying for Emma's romantic affection), and a brief summary of those feelings in this paragraph from this post, so my thoughts on it are kind of scattered about lol

Ray knows Norman, knows his sense of rigid morality well enough to account for him discovering his alliance with Isabella and using that to his advantage, to further push Norman away so he’ll be more comfortable with using him (he even chides Norman for not keeping his original plan to do this a secret) and so his death will hurt him and Emma less. And for roughly the entire back half of October 2045, Norman did genuinely hate Ray for his betrayal in the same way he hated Isabella, his reaction so visceral at being deceived and hurt by people he had loved all his life. He would have been willing to sacrifice Ray if not for intervention from Emma, which opened him up to directly confronting Ray and, in turn, led him to discover Ray’s true motives. He was so humbled and taken aback by the depths of Ray’s love and loyalty he returned to his original categorization of him: a dear friend who needed to be saved from his intended fate in their cruel world. Even if saving him came at the cost of his own life; even if he desperately wanted to live.

So I do believe Norman would have done it given the circumstances, and that Ray was banking on him doing so if Norman suspected him of being the traitor (and from Ray's perspective, this was the more likely outcome because of how much stock he puts in Norman's intelligence).

It fits with Ray's meticulous planning, Norman's overall morality when left on his own at this point in his life plus his pride and ruthlessness, and the series' themes of redemption/second chances for those who genuinely work toward change and the positive influence of friendship/solidarity over isolation.

Upon discovering the truth of the house, Norman's first instinct is to grab Emma and Ray and get out of there.

His mind is absolutely fried by what's just taken place and its implications, and he's scrambling to come up with a plan, focusing on whatever he believes is still familiar and safe to ground himself so he can shake off the emotional and mental paralysis he's in. I love how both the manga and anime convey how shell-shocked he is with the weary lines under his eyes and the thousand-yard stare he's got going on as he's floating outside himself. It's all completely understandable.

This is one of my most-cited details about the anime taking advantage of the medium shift. Both Emma and Norman are completely shocked by Isabella being there, but it only takes Norman a second to shift between that initial shock to sorrow over realizing what it means that the woman who he’s viewed as his mother his entire life is here casually talking with demons and not recoiling in horror at what’s taken place. He genuinely loved her.

(Chapter 6)

It's part of why he reacts so viscerally to her betrayal, another being his pride taking a hit due to being outmaneuvered by her. He's scored perfect 300s on his test since the day he started taking them at four-years-old, the first child in the history of Grace Field ever to do so. While he's never haughty or smug over this, he does find comfort in his intelligence. This undermines him in a way that not only cuts him to the quick, but also puts his family at risk, and he's determined to come out on top in this game of high-stakes wits and save them.

(Chapter 10)

So after being dealt the crushing blow that Isabella was raising him and his siblings just to be food for demons, a few days later he's dealt another one when Krone's appearance leads him to instantly suspect Ray as the most probable and convenient informant for her. Ray was one of his two main pillars of strength he could fall back on in a time where his whole world has shifted beneath him. They had been together ever since he could remember, and he was disgusted with himself for even thinking Ray could do this. Like Isabella, he genuinely loved him too. In the face of the insurmountable conclusion he'd drawn, however, he couldn't ignore reality, not when the lives of Emma and his siblings hinged on him not making any more mistakes.

The revelation of this betrayal silently festers over the course of roughly two weeks. During that time, Ray even encourages Norman to be ruthless when dealing with his enemies.

(Chapter 7)

It doesn't take long for Norman to get on board.

(Chapter 9)

And while he ultimately comes to the conclusion that suppressing the adults is the better course of action,

(Chapter 10)

the poignancy of the fork symbolism is still there: stay vigilant, stay sharp, stay ruthless. Even if it means discarding one of your best friends once he's no longer useful in the escape plan. (I'll use this as an opportunity to plug one of my favorite pieces of art on the subject by @nekokat42. It's funny how over the course of the story, Norman ends up taking after Isabella the most out of the trio on this front.)

In the same way his categorization of Isabella has shifted in his mind, so too has his categorization of Ray, and he would have stayed there if Norman hadn't sought Emma's perspective on the matter. It parallels nicely to when she acts as his moral compass in chapter 1/episode 1.

Emma's automatic, genuine desire to save everyone quickly sobers him up from his stupor and his plan for just the three of them to escape. He's touched by this, her being far more selfless than him, and he silently chides himself for not even considering trying before resolving to make Emma's ideal outcome a reality.

(Chapter 13)

Emma reaffirms the importance of considering the nuance and material circumstances of their situation, what the logical fallout would be for the traitor if they were left behind during the escape, and the biggest thing for Norman, striving for better instead of settling for pragmatism when you still have the opportunity to effect change on the world around you and reach an outcome you'll be happier with.

(Chapter 14)

(Chapter 13)

Norman being willing to use and discard Ray makes the impact of him switching his stance on the matter and later realization of Ray's true motives hit harder while also providing a basis for his actions and beliefs during later arcs after he's been isolated from the positive influence of his family.

(The Good Place; borrowing because I like the conciseness and feel it's applicable to Norman, Ray, and Yuugo.)

With the way the final seconds of this sequence are framed in the anime—going from a shot of a giddy yet harried Norman to a self-chiding Ray to Eugene's drawing of a trio of children—I feel like they wanted to draw attention to this aspect of his realization more than chapter 14 did where Norman's more focused on what Ray's position as Isabella's spy affords the plan. Here it looks like he's taking in the full ramifications of the choice he would have made if he hadn't talked with Emma; a future where he threw away a dear friend who had made years of impossible decisions as Isabella's sheepdog and was willing to die so that they could have one, because for Ray it's always been about Emma and Norman. What once appeared to be a selfish choice to save his own skin was actually one born out of love and loyalty, and once again Norman is disgusted with himself over his presumptions and saddened by Ray's intention to die, though at this point he hasn't seen the lighter fluid stockpiled under Ray's bed, so he has yet to figure out how he plans to pull it off. It's an ache profound enough to leave him startled and reaching to cover his mouth in its wake. One that could possibly be prompted without Norman intending to discard Ray since on top of everything else already going on he's now aware Ray plans on killing himself, which is devastating, but I think it's more poignant if he was going to go through with it.

[awakefor48hours]

Just finished The Good Place again, it truly is one of the best takes on the afterlife and morality

[finleycannotdraw]

I am actually so emotionally destroyed by Crystal’s arc in this season. She comes in with no memories but she’s still angry, impatient, and rude sometimes—nothing like how she used to be, but her brain definitely remembers her habits even if she doesn’t remember the context.

And then Charles doesn’t get angry when she insults him, and Edwin matches her snappiness perfectly but still grows to value her. Her parents were so neglectful she probably became an asshole as part of a way to protect herself (causing an “any attention is good attention, including negative attention” mindset). So with the boys, she is faced with people who will actually engage with her when she intentionally challenges them, instead of just yelling at her or ignoring her. And it begins to change her immediately.

She goes from making someone walk into traffic to “I just want to help.” To “I have friends, I’m helping people, what more do I need?” She immediately volunteers to help Becky Aspen. She stops using her powers on random people. She takes Charles’ words to heart when he tells her she needs to let them in. She learns how to work with Edwin when Charles is in trouble.

And even though she has no memory of her parents, she still desperately wants to be reunited with them, even though if she had remembered them, she probably wouldn’t have bothered. “My parents won’t even care”, she says flippantly on the phone. And then when she does call them, they don’t care. But without her memory, at her core, Crystal wants her parents to care. She wanted them to care even when she would hide it behind recklessness and cruelty. This is common in kids with neglectful parents. She had so much hope when it was the anglerfish, and she had so much hope even after she began to remember her old life.

Old Crystal never would’ve tried to talk Esther Finch down by telling her about how toxic anger is and how important it is to choose to do good. And New Crystal wouldn’t have done that either if she didn’t truly believe it.

And at the end, when she gets her memories back, she is horrified by what she sees, by the kind of person she used to be.

Michael from The Good Place says: People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?

Crystal is a perfect representation of this statement and I will not sit here and let people talk bad about her.

[tragedykid]

"people improve when they get external love and support. how can we hold it against them when they don't"

[elysiansparadise]

I'm so exicited for everything you're doing, I love your blog! Any tips for my sun squaring his saturn?

Thank you love, that means a lot! 💞

How to deal with Sun-Saturn square in synastry?

This square is usually attributed to the feeling of not being able to express oneself with complete freedom in the relationship, feeling scared to open up either due to the fear of being judged or criticized [either due to internal or external situations in the relationship]. May feel this need not to disappoint the other and to constantly set high standards either to themselves or both.

As for practical approaches, I can mention the following:

🤍More acceptance and less criticism: This point applies both to how you treat the other and yourselves. It is important to keep in mind that you need to be yourself to be in a relationship, especially one in the long run. A relationship in which you constantly feel like you have to hide or limit yourself can become tiring for you, so if you have the fear of being judged or criticised, you need to communicate this with your partner. If this fear or insecurity comes from past experiences, share them.

🤍Show your support and encourage each other: Opening up to other people can be a difficult task for many, especially if they have had bad experiences in the past. As a couple, show the commitment and willingness you feel to be understanding and accepting with each other. Be patient, reassure the other that they can express themselves without fear of being judged, and make it clear that you can be vulnerable with the other. Verbal, physical reassurance or even through small actions such as putting aside the phone to pay attention when the other person is talking, asking questions to better understand can help improve trust. Don't rush each other and let things flow naturally.

🤍Do activities that the other likes: When you do this, you can see the other person in their element and appreciate how they act. In addition, you spend quality time together, which makes you get closer to the other emotionally. We express different sides of ourselves when we do something we are passionate about and we tend to be more uninhibited, so it can help a lot in dealing with this square. By showing interest in and in each other's interests, you can create feelings of gratefulness, appreciation, and affection.

Some aspects in astrology that can help with this are the following:

🩶Sun, Moon, Rising, Venus or a stellium falling in the other’s 5th house: When there is any of these, both can feel very drawn to the other, their individuality and simply the person they are. They can feel happy, delighted and intrigued by each other despite these differences that may exist. They may want to encourage the other person to be more genuine and confident, showing them that they don't have to be ashamed of the sides of their personality that cause them insecurity.

🩶Sun, Moon, Rising, Venus or a stellium falling in the other's 11th house: Similar to the previous point, they captivate each other, only being in this house both can be very different from the other. It will be precisely these differences that make them feel very attracted to the other person. They both encourage each other to be authentic and they freely teach each other what it is to be loved without conditions or expectations.

🩶Jupiter aspecting the Moon makes you both want to learn from each other on a deep level, ensuring you build a supportive and safe environment. Acceptance, affection, support and a lot of affection, they do not hesitate to reassure each other and they care a lot about intimacy as a couple to continue growing and having a positive and pleasant relationship for both. They are patient and understanding with each other which makes them feel that it is safe to open up.

🩶Neptune-Jupiter harmonious aspects make both natives awaken empathy, warmth and compassion in the other, making them feel that it is easier to be honest and emotional with the other. These aspects give a deep sense of strong and caring spiritual connection, which gives them comfort and even a sense of joy. There is that desire to know each other more on a deep level, from what makes them who they are to all the experiences that have impacted their lives, whether positive or negative. They will not make judgments or point fingers at the other, but rather they will prefer to put themselves in perspective to be able to understand better. Support, ability to connect positively with others and good wishes towards the other.

🩶When Venus is making aspects with Saturn, mutual attraction and the desire to care for each other are strengthened, making it easier to handle any type of challenges. Love and affection are present, and that makes both parties to solve problems with greater empathy and warmth. They both want to build a strong relationship which leads them to do everything necessary to make that possible, they strive to make the other feel loved and valued.

🩶North Node falling in the other's 1st, 5th or 11th house makes them a great support throughout the relationship for the other, especially in accepting themselves and motivating them to be more authentic and genuine. They can encourage others by appreciating them and helping them see the good sides of their personality. They teach the other to be themselves without fearing other people's opinions or criticism.

🩶Moon aspecting Sun or Rising makes you feel the trust of opening up to each other. They feel it is safe to talk about their emotions, express themselves and be vulnerable. These aspects speak to us of support, sympathy and a genuine desire to care for others, making them feel loved and taken into account, seen and heard. They are naturally delicate with each other and have the patience not to rush the other to open up. Receptive, supportive and very attentive.

🩶The harmonic aspects of either the Sun-Pluto or Moon-Pluto can be of great help in dealing with this square, because both can help each other break negative behaviour patterns and help the other when going through changes or while working. in themselves. They both give each other the strength and security to work on everything they need, help each other and guide each other towards a path of transformation and healing.

🩶Mercury aspecting Moon, Saturn or Pluto can help you have important, heavy or deep conversations more fluidly and easily. They awaken each other's trust and know that they can rely on the other, tell them about their most personal experiences, insecurities, issues or simply talk about their emotions. Sharing important things, looking for solutions and offering solutions is something that comes naturally to this couple.

🩶A trine, sextile or quintile/biquintile between Neptune-Venus not only make this relationship overflowing with love and romance, but there is also a supportive and adaptable quality to both. The other's flaws are not seen as something unattractive, nor do they place unattainable and demanding expectations on the other, rather they are able to love each other completely and show appreciation for each side of their partner.

[rye-satchel]

I think it's wild that people finish Steven Universe and come to the conclusion that Rose was a terrible person.

Everything Steven did different, he was able to because he was raised in a completely different environment, around people who expected him to grow and let him, and who supported him.

Pink Diamond had no one to support her. Rose did. And when things got especially bad, Rose did the one thing she thought would genuinely end the war. It lead to bad things happening, but it wasn't because of malicious intent that she did what she had.

In a post-war world, Steven could make decisions using the information and support he had that Rose never did.

Obviously she wasn't the paragon of morality, but she tried. She tried with what she knew. She made bad decisions, and she lived with them.

I guess a good way to phrase it would be like.

If Pink Diamond is Eleanor Shellstrop (original life) from the Good Place, then Rose Quartz is Eleanor Shellstrop (near-death timeline), and Steven is the Eleanor Shellstrop of the final season.

" Look, the point is people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold that against them when they don't?"

Pink changed when she received support from Pearl as Rose, and later from Garnet, Amethyst, and even Greg. She was still learning after hundreds of years as Rose, like Eleanor was after hundreds of years in the afterlife.

And no, I can't see Rose using Steven as an escape like a lot of people claim. Rose finally had the opportunity to do what she wanted to do ever since she was Pink Diamond: create life from nothing. Of course that would excite her! Of course she would want to create life, finally, after destroying so much of it.

There's no reason for her to believe that the diamonds would have ever changed, because she couldn't, as a diamond.** Not to mention she wouldn't have a reason to think they'd come back to earth. If she had known about the cluster, she definitely would have said something instead of ignoring it.

** to that point, she wasn't treated like a diamond either, unlike the others. She wasn't as set in her status the others.

[blakbonnet]

AUTHOR OF THE WEEK: @soupbtch

Ever read a fic and go "they're so 😭" - that's every single Danny fic to me, aka today's second aotw feature, and god, what an amazingly talented author they are.

I'm so glad you decided to write and grace us with your lovely and bonkers fics, because I cannot imagine the OFMD fic world without your incredible Every Part of You series. I cannot imagine logging into this website without another incredible post from you. Every single thing you write (and do) leaves me in stitches and then, more often than not, you straight up chair your friends with your ultra soft way of writing how much they love each other - in between the much needed elbow fucking. You are such an amazingly kind person - hilarious, supportive, and the best cheerleader 💕 Thank you for answering my questions:

What's your writing process like? Do you start with the beginning or the end? Do you write in order or as the scenes come to you?

I start with a pretty detailed outline because if I don’t go in with a plan, I’ll drop threads and/or write myself in circles. Then I have my outline open on half of my screen while I have a separate doc open on the other half where I’m actually writing. I write in order from beginning to end.

Favourite trope or headcanon you like to explore while writing? (Things like Ed's sweet tooth, Stede's ability to bury his feelings etc)

I have a lot of fun writing angst, so I think any facet of that I can explore is a good time. Weigh them down with insecurities and see how far I can bend them with external factors like plot points, each other, or other characters before they snap. So things like Stede believing he ruins everything he touches, Ed believing he doesn’t deserve fine things, and how they both stand in the way of their own happiness because of these feelings. I also love exploring like, the horrible communication skills Ed and Stede have with each other when it comes to their emotions, and setting up story beats where that intercommunication can break down. Because they’re idiots (affectionate).

Whose voice is easier to write - Ed or Stede? Why?

Ed for sure. I find him very easy to connect with, emotionally. All my favorite characters think they’re unlovable monsters and no, this says NOTHING about me personally, etc etc etc.

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

Red Skies at Night! It's modern au, but they're still on a boat! If you like slow burn, bitchy Stede, Ed with a tongue piercing, fun costumes, and a big dash of pining, I def recommend checking it out!! ❤��

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

The one that comes to mind is ‘blink.’ Kind of a funny one, but to me, it’s such a juicy way to imply so much while saying so little, so I know I use it frequently. Stede asks, “Do you trust me?” and Ed blinks back at him as he tries to work out why that question hits him like a truck (because the answer is a very easy yes). Ed says, “You make me happy,” and Stede blinks back at him in awe (because Stede? Making someone happy? That can’t be true). You get it.

Do you have a beta reader? Have they made you a better writer?

Yes, Beedle (@sleepystede) and Connie (@spirker) have both beta read for me! They’ve helped me tremendously with flow and rewording awkward sentences, and I’ve improved a lot from their feedback. Connie has also been invaluable to bounce ideas off of for new fics and just generally pushing me to be more creative through her never-ending support and big beautiful brain.

Why OFMD 🥹

I loved season 1 when I first watched it, but as soon as I saw the season 2 trailer, something clicked in my brain. Where season 1 was slow burn, will-they-won’t-they, is this real or are they queerbaiting, season 2 was posing itself as very, very clearly queer. Stede is going to get his man. That’s it, that’s the show. Undisguised, unabashed, unapologetic gay yearning and gay romance. There are a million other things I can say, but I think it really all comes down to that. What a gift. No one does it like our show. 💖

Please head over to @ofmdlovelyletters (who also made the header) and send your love to all your favourite authors (and authors of the week 😈 watch that blog for some special letters coming your way)

[simplepotatofarmer]

sorry i just want to talk about the similarities between c!rivals duo forever and how so much of their differences can be summed up with the quote 'people improve when they get external love and support. how can we hold it against them, when they don’t?'

like of course the guy who tried so hard to hold things together for so long only to see everyone turn on him and leave him turned to a sort of self-destructive desire for control!

and of course the guy who was betrayed and blamed and traumatized but had someone there telling him it would be alright was able to step back and change his course!

anyway.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not picking my brothers side against our mother?

Some background information:

My brother (let’s call him Collin) is trans (20m) We come from a relatively Catholic (we aren’t religious but the influence is deffo there) conservative country and have been living in the USA for most of our lives. My mother definitely can’t be considered LGBTQ allies, although they are much more understanding than some of the people here, especially in the south— which is impressive considering where we come from. She is TERRIBLE with using the correct pronouns for Collin, so much so that he doesn’t contact her much anymore. I’ve never tried to get him to do otherwise— it’s his choice, and I still respect him. I can understand it. Shortly before he moved away, he’d rant to me about her. I was pretty good with listening and giving advice/support for the first few years, but towards the end of high school (when the school work stress was piling up, along with other external family issues), it started to weigh on me. I wanted (and still want) to be someone Collin can confide in, but I still love my mother. She has made improvements with her close-mindedness, even if they aren’t huge steps. Whenever I try to give reasons for her behavior or just try to get them to get along, he accused me of siding with her. A lot of his perceptions of her seem warped these days, too. Like a while ago he was talking with me via text about one of his friends/coworkers (who is gay). He told me not to mention to our mother that this friend is gay— this friend, by the way, is fully out and married. A few months later I slipped and mentioned it to my mother (she had suggested that this friend probably likes this woman we know and I said “no mom he’s gay!”). And she didn’t really react? She just bluescreened for a moment (the trademark “confused boomer pause”) and went on with the conversation. I’ve had a lot of talks with her about LGBTQ issues, and I’ve actually managed to get her to consider the fact that homophobia may stem from religion (she is a very science>religion kind of person). She wholeheartedly believes that LGBTQ issues should not be politicized. (Not an ally, not an enemy.)

anyway, all this to say that Collin has a very 2D impression of her. Last year I went to pick him up at the airport, and mom called while we were in the car to remind us to stop by [store] and pick something up. When the call ended, Collin snorted and said something like “the bitch couldn’t have just sent a text?”

I told him, a bit snappishly, to shut up. He looked surprised and I felt bad, but I told him that I didn’t want any in part in the conflict and that he should stop bringing me into it.

I was also kind of pissed at him at the time for posting the story of an argument between our mother and I (my period was a month late, she thought I was pregnant*— not even an argument she was just annoyingly suspicious for a week or two) online. He changed names for privacy, but there were people who knew who he was so it wasn’t that hard to figure out who his “sister” was. Since I never gave him permission to share it with anyone, I asked him to take it down. He did eventually. but I guess that could be for another AITA post.

*I have never dated or shown interest in dating anyone.

Overall, I feel that he has the right to argue/have a bad relationship with our mother. But I also have a right to let it affect me without being labeled as a bad or traitorous sister.

What are these acronyms?

[purpleaqua8]

PAC Reading: Which area of life should you focus on right now?

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⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

Pile 1: Your Home

It's time to focus on manifesting your ideal living space. If you're currently in a place that no longer feels aligned with your needs, it's time to consider a change. Whether you're looking to move or improve your current environment, this is the moment to make it happen. For those of you already settled in a home, now is the time to refresh your living space by updating your interior design to reflect your style and desires. Get clear on what your dream home looks like, and take actionable steps toward manifesting it. If you're considering a move, be realistic about your finances and work on accumulating the necessary funds. You may even receive financial support or opportunities that can assist you in this process. Spirit encourages you to invest in creating a home that truly nurtures you, a space that you own and can personalize, a place where you feel secure, comfortable, and at peace.

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

Pile 2: Your Spirituality

You have been inconsistent with your spiritual practices. Distractions have caused a disconnect, pulling you away from aligning with the Divine. This inconsistency could be fueling indecision, confusion about your life, and contributing to a cycle of extreme highs and lows. Now is the time to get clear on your core spiritual beliefs and establish a routine that nurtures your growth. Reconnecting with your higher self is essential, as well as being open to exploring new practices and learning more about spirituality. Working with the element of Fire and connecting with deities or spirits could help reignite your spiritual journey. By committing to a consistent spiritual routine, you will begin to see profound shifts in your external world. This newfound alignment will bring strength, clarity, and the ability to navigate life's challenges with more ease and confidence.

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

Pile 3: Your Relationships

Your relationships require your attention and reflection. You may find that you're repeatedly attracting the wrong people or making unhealthy choices when it comes to who you allow into your life. Vulnerability is an essential part of connection, but you may be oversharing or trusting people too quickly, leading to disappointment and heartache. It's time to learn the art of healthy vulnerability—sharing only with those who have earned your trust. Spirit invites you to focus on self-love and emotional stability. It's crucial to stop waiting for others to change or return to your life and instead focus on your own growth and well-being. Break free from patterns of people-pleasing and stop sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of others. To transform your relationship patterns, engage in Shadow work to understand why these cycles persist. Only by cultivating a deep sense of self-worth can you attract the healthy, balanced relationships you deserve.

⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰

[csuitebitches]

Everyone talks about leveling up and healing, but what comes after that?

I feel like I'm in a really good place right now. I've worked through my emotional wounds, I no longer attract toxic people, and I'm focused on making better choices to improve my life.

I've moved past the drama, the gossip, and the unhealthy relationships, and I'm genuinely happy about that. I have no desire to go back to any of that. But at the same time, life feels too calm.

In the past, it was easy to connect with people around me—whether it was bonding over shared dislikes, mutual crushes on unavailable people, or similar family struggles. But now, all of that feels shallow and trivial. If I don’t like someone, I just avoid them. There’s nothing to really talk about or bond over anymore.

What I’m really wondering is how to keep that sense of wonder and excitement from my younger years alive—the sense that everything felt fresh, new, and thrilling.

I’ve outgrown a lot of the chaos, but now I’m left with the challenge of keeping life exciting without falling back into old habits. And honestly, I’m not sure how to do that.

fantastic question and congratulations on the growth.

growth should never be left stagnant. What you’ve done well is cleared up your external environment that you were in. Now, focus on the actual growth - growth of self. keep in mind that sometimes a calm life can be boring especially when you’ve had a very chaotic phase. it’s completely normal and natural to feel that. Keep life exciting by taking on new challenges that help you positively and celebrating the calmness that comes with things. I don’t want you to simply chase goals, but enjoy the journey and the fruits of your labour.

keep your system 2 brain active : take on new hobbies, mentor people who could use your help, meditate, get involved in charity, travel, deepen existing connections, pottery, running clubs, learn a new language, team sports, performing arts. Find something that you’ll love to learn, and you’ll find similar people who are in that mindset. I don’t want you to associate loneliness = self growth. I’d rather you find people who are on your frequency so that you know what it’s like to have healthy relationships around you. When I reconnected with some old school friends who had also matured after many years…. I can’t tell you how much we enjoy each other others company now. We travel, we meet once a month, we host dinners, we support each other, attend each other’s engagements and weddings etc etc - having healthy friendships and relationships is so much more fun that toxic ones.

I also personally worked on my relationship with myself - going on dates with myself, working out, meditating and at times just sitting with myself in silence - I became comfortable with myself. I became my own best friend. I learned what I liked and didn’t, what I was like, who I really am.

[tinabelcherseverythingisokface]

People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?

[alicentflorent]

I personally would have ended the umbrella academy with the Hargreeves siblings, instead of dying, being sent to an isolated alternate timeline like the one Five and Lila got stuck in or just somewhere that exists outside of time.

I would have handled it in a similar style to the “the good place” by having this group of people who did not lead good lives on earth and ended up hurting others because of their own issues by giving them the opportunity to grow and change in a isolated environment away from the pressures placed on them in the real world. “People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?” This quote from the good place fits the Hargreeves characters so well and likely resonates with a lot of people who were abused or who have lived difficult lives and who have indirectly hurt others because of their own difficult circumstances. They could have dedicated the last ten minutes showing us the Hargreeves siblings growing, changing and healing and living a peaceful existence together.

[wordvomit555]

"People improve, when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them, when they don't?"

I'm looking through my favorite quotes form "The Good Place" and now I believe that David Wymack is just Michael when he (spoiler alert for the good place) became human at the end of the series.