#“okay” is perhaps a bit much
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr is available in 18 languages.
Text
Congrats, team, we've saved Cora! He's okay now!
.........he's not dead now!
I'm feeling indecisive about a current oneshot so I'm throwing it out to you lot.
#“okay” is perhaps a bit much#alive. hes alive. im not killing him off#every time i try to write something canon compliant i get too sad#even if it would be better if it was canon compliant. i cant do it#im working on two oneshots right now so you can probably expect this one sometime next week
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
199 notes
·
View notes
Text
should seth live in vampdrew...
#okay so since that anon asked i went to actually sort of plot shit and it got me thinking about the storyline of aftg and#like the secret part of vampdrew involves him getting more vampire powers.#what if he were to prevent seth's riko-ordered overdose...#or what if he tries to and fails. oooh... D:#anyway. in vampdrew andrew still doesn't give a shit about the upperclassmen. BUT being able to see into their heads all the time sort#of endears them to him a bit. not MUCH. but also though the main thing is what the hell will they do with dead striker... (andrew is thinki#of kevin and his whole thing. not seth gordon. to andrew it doesn't matter much if he lives or dies but)#what if he had the ability to prevent riko from hurting their team#would he use it#i think so.#i think perhaps vampdrew is turning into a seth lives au.#not that it matters much since we barely see them in this fic but still#i just like being able to save seth if possible.#anyway i think over the course of these tags i've talked myself into it :)#yay#diaerie#Vampire Andrew AU
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Every day I wake up regretting getting emotionally invested in Jujutsu Kaisen
#It's both the best and worst thing ever written#So much potential. Wonderful dynamics. Every concept that ever mattered to me personally#which means it's all the best concepts ever in the history of humankind#The most adorable kids. The most gorgeous women. The most whatever Gojo is#Which is pretty much 'everything' considering he is not Jack or Heathcliff#And yet#AND YET#It fails at reaching its full potential on any of the stuff I mentioned#It's truly truly the best thing ever. It's truly also a source of constant dissatisfaction#AND YET AGAIN#When you think 'yeah okay it's too much dissatisfaction it isn't worth it' it hits you again with the best thing ever#I hate it here so much#I wish I didn't get into this at all in general and I specifically wish Gojo Satoru would disappear for good of reality itself#Just *pum* vanished. Like melting water on snow or something#As if he had never been at all. And then I'd have never gotten into this#Anyway... I'm begging everyone who is into Gojo to read Georg Cantor. I have some other authors and texts. I can send stuff#In any case it's all good. I'm sure everything will be forgotten in a couple months#I won't think about this at all in just a little bit more time#Yeah. Pretty sure#It's just a temporal thing with very short time. Almost like an ephemeral fly#Or the lapsus of time in which one could eat cherries yearly#By wintertime this won't be anything at all. At most a red stain on snow that perhaps brings cherries back to memory#Nothing else. Just a little bit more time and it shall pass#But goodness how I wish Gojo Satoru would disappear from my life or the very fabric of reality#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Eh, I was in a weird experimental mood. Have this. Dubbed 'Who Are You?' Pretty sure I've said this but I love characters that either are not human or beyond human... because existentialism is fun to think about.
My monitor makes this look 3-D which is awesome.
#rvb#red vs blue#rvb simmons#I just think that he probably had a bit of a crisis after the meds and hype wore off#realizing that perhaps becoming a cyborg wasn't as cool and dope as he thought it was gonna be#cause i mean come ON if anything he should have been able to throw a fucking punch or catch one from Tex#like my poor boy just got all these 'enchancements' but none of the benefits? i call bullshit - Sarge builds weapons of mass destruction#shit maybe this bitch has a bomb in him if he dies... I dunno#but srsly this boyo should have been punching and kicking metal with his new metal#Also I will never not shut up about him being able to make a hologram of himself - even if it just mirrors his movements#that shit would have been epic to see in a fight and useful too#I love every fic that has capitalized on his Cyberness SO fucking much holy hell#. . . > . > Okay and also like hear me out - I think because of how his system works and how he's not like pure human anymore...#I think if (Any version of) Church were to have linked with him it would have been different than how the Freelancers or Tucker had him#I have an idea or a fic... >.> I have Many Ideas for Many Fics but specifically one about this concept. Toying with it.#Random AF but YALL - I always felt his “fax ass” was more like a Tramp Stamp - it's just a port that looks like a disk drive#so anymore morse code is fun ;3
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i might post a microfic dump on here. just... usually stuff that exists in a discord message or maybe two, something to share some art. the world is scary and most of us here are coping via escapism. tolkien was so absolutely correct when he said "i wish it had not happened in my time, also stop shitting on escapism the world is a fuck and i'm allowed to imagine a better one"
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
in my quest to get bulkier shoulders/arms i seem to also be making my pecs bigger.... hm...
#BigTits2025 apparently#hopefully by the end of the year BigHairyTits2025 since my chest hair is coming along#lmfao i'm not even doing chest specific exercises#it must just be the pushups tbh#a good 2 months of weights/bodyweight exercises 2x a week and upped protein intake (and creatine lol) seems to be making headway :-)#sick to death of protein powder though holyyyyy shit#also progress is likely to be slower because i strained my shoulder.... gotta go a lot slower#i had some shirts that were on the slimmer side before i started working out n now they're starting to get a bit tight 😅#which is a win yes! but also means i'm gonna haveta replace a chunk of my wardrobe if i'm able to bulk up as much as i'd like#(which might be a stretch considering how difficult it is for younger men in my family to put any real bulk on lmfao)#i might also be able to get my chest tattoo started this year bc of the trade w my tattoo artist :-) so BigHairyTattedTits2025 perhaps#also yeah okay BIG is relative... i'm a small dude lbr so any bulk at this point feels like a big improvement for me! I'll take it!!!#personal stuff
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want to reenact Jiang Cheng's sacrifice, but instead the golden core, it's his vision. In Inazuma with the Vision Hunt Decree – which I do understand that everyone has to obey and give up their visions willingly, while failing to do so will have consequences. Naturally, neither Wei Wuxian or Jiang Cheng want to give it up (tbh I imagine WWX with pyro and JC with electro but it's irrelevant) and while they do want to fight back, it's best to leave for now. Things don't go as planned and Wei Wuxian gets cornered without really noticing it (or like, yk, knowing about it but hoping for the best until the last second). Jiang Cheng does notice it, though, so he lures away the soldiers, gets imprisoned and his vision taken. When Wei Wuxian helps him escape and asks how he got himself arrested, he lies something about wanting revenge after their parents' death. And so they let the water carry them away on their little boat, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli blissfully ignorant and worried.
#and they go to fontaine and jc ends up in prison#because i want him and wriothesley together#but ugh the leader x leader is killing me. jc has so much potential with leading meropide and wriothesley is such a dogwolfboy#my loyal dog agenda for jc is backfiring#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#genshin x mdzs#but also its late and im not thinking clearly. i had a few different versions with minor changes but its all basically the same:#jc giving up his vision for wwx. and perhaps gets a bit tortured. as a treat#i love his scars okay?#also yeah parents dead. yzy had electro too so jc's own vision meant a lot to him. hell maybe he had yzy's vision with him#and that got lost too#they died trying to fight the system or something idk inazuma quests were a long time ago
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i remember being brought up christian like, almost concerned that i never felt a connection to any of the shit they were talkin about,
and when i was younger i was like "oh no! am i bad for not feeling connected to god?? is it bad i feel like my dead mom doesnt talk to me or watch over me?? am i horrible for pretending?????"
but turns out i just had Autism Powers that made me immune to it and i was able to completely sever myself from the idea of being Christian at the ripe old age of like 13. and it was such a HUGE comfort to see that there were all these other beliefs and spiritual sort of things that other people chose to believe in and didnt necessarily treat their beliefs as COLD HARD UNDENIABLE FACT the way christians treat the existence of god & heaven & hell
like now that i am older i know i was in fact traumatized by the culturally catholic beliefs my family held & forced on us all, but i am really immensely grateful that my child self looked at all the other aspects of christianity that would horrify most other children into behaving/conforming, and basically just went, "okay, source?"
and that was the end of that
#BLOGGING LOUDLY#okay source sounds so cringe ik but like#i really couldnt buy into any of it after a certain point#even though i almost found comfort in it! the idea of prayer was very much that for me the way it is for many ppl#i just literally could not believe something that didnt have proof i could see or touch#and when i was a bit older i did get hit with the 'well you cant SEE gravity but you believe in that'#but again immediately i was like... you can still prove gravity though. i learned it in seventh grade. LMAO#i dont know part of me is relieved i didnt feel the painful separation or conflict that so many others feel#but i am still kind of sad i couldnt just. be that way. and find a home somewhere#and that nothing else has really stood out to me except like non theistic satanism which also sounds. edgy teen boy#like it is a legitimate belief system and i feel closely aligned to it! but im still just kinda meh about using the label ... hrmm#perhaps need to look into the various kinds of satanism again#i tend to stay away from pagan stuff but its also something i found interesting#my partner seems very interested in becoming a jew despite not really... ever having been exposed to judaism or jewish cultures#but id like to learn more about it too i have many resources just kinda sitting....#idk i guess i started thinking about this bc actually studying other religions etc could be very fulfilling but i just....eh....
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;･∀･)
#i may have made a bad decision with the meat i cooked shdjdkl BUT I THINK IT'LL BE FINE#it was past the date on the packaging but it didnt smell or look or feel off at all so . i decided to risk it#and now im panicking bc i think perhaps that was actually rly stupid fhdkdl#but it was. so much money. i had no idea the date was so soon on the package when i got it from mum#I would've frozen it if I'd known dhdksl i should've looked#alas !!! i think it'll be fine tbh bc it genuinely did not seem spoiled at all so ... now we just pray#i had a fairly small serving of it and I'll see how i feel to figure out if the rest of it is safe to eat or not#im just fhdjdkl crying a little rn bc the past two days have been so awful and im so tired#i rly dont want to get sick on top of everything else going on#i would like one thing to go well fjdkdl just like. one thing. this feels like divine punishment for having the old lady group go so well#im just kind of losing my mind rn i think actually fhfkdl i have a therapy/counseling appt on monday though so we'll see if that helps#i do not have high hopes fjfkdl#MANNNN. can the universe give me a break PLEASE. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks to do well 😭😭#im putting in so much work and effort fhdksl can i PLEASE have this one thing go okay djdksl i do not want to get sick !!!#if i do get sick then im just. hhhhh. idk djdkdl it's just one more thing to add to my pile of Bad ig djdkdl what can ya do djdkdl#i am going to pull myself together and stop crying and go play stardew maybe idk fjdkdl i feel like im starting to crack a little bit#augh. augh. i would love to catch a break djdkdl#dandy.cmd#vent //
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
🎤 🎤 🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3
hozier - who we are.
youtube
icehouse - crazy.
youtube
depeche mode - personal jesus.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#asks - answered.#ooc post.#okay but ESPECIALLY heavy on the last one because it literally all about the idea of someone that people can turn to in hard times-#like a god or a prophet who will listen to your plights and help you + who you should believe in. and i say this because one major theme-#to blamore's character is the concept of being a false prophet and someone who essentially unfortunately takes advantage of people's-#longing for things to get better in gotham. bc i feel like a lot of people there have either been failed by the system by other's or-#possibly both and this is so that blamore can get people to voluntarily want to consume the 'seeds' it distributes in order to uhh...#well purge gotham of its undesirables basically as terrible as that sounds. but yeah that depeche mode song? it's such a good one for-#him and definitely has helped me before to write things related to him since blamore does sometimes believe in its own hubris.#but as for the second one by icehouse that one i associate with it because although it doesn't exactly consider itself to fully identify-#with the label of being a 'man' i feel as if blamore will still talk about itself that way sometimes. its relationship with its gender-#is honestly a little bit complicated NGL because him using it/its pronouns as well is something blamore adopted recently even-#though he'd always sort of felt like disconnected and/or like it didn't really align with how he saw himself completely. BUT yeahhh#i honestly could start a whole discussion about that but i shall do that another time perhaps ahah. anyhow though besides that-#elephant in the room ever since it has transformed into this half-human half-plant monster being... although it does love any partners-#it has very much (trust me) i feel like it does wonder why they chose to be with him more often than he'd like to admit.#so that's where the whole 'crazy' part comes in and as for the hozier song that song is about how you kind of have to carve through-#this 'darkness' to rediscover ourselves and who we want to be as a result of going through a rough time or just something tough in-#general and that is SO freaking fitting in my opinion for blamore because it definitely had to completely reframe the way it thought-#about itself when it transformed. and he also had to figure out what he believed in / what his values were now which can be suchhh-#a messy process TBH but this isn't the first time that blamore's had to rediscover itself as life is honestly kind of this ongoing-#process of losing yourself and trying to find yourself again you know? but yeah. i hope you enjoyed my explanation here tehe <3#and also that you enjoy the tunes!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
bad wolf soda <3
#level of obsession reached where i zoom in on screenshots to see what shes reading#p sure that says kierkegaard in white but thats as far as im getting#'first existentialist philosopher'#okay i really gotta find out what the fuck existentialism really means now bc carmilla seems to like it#'related to the meaning purpose and value of human existence.#Common concepts in existentialist thought include existential crisis dread#and anxiety in the face of an absurd world and free will as well as authenticity courage and virtue.'#SCREAM OKAY I SEE I SEE#kierkegaard beauvoir sartre nietzsche camus yep p sure those all get mentioned#okay this is fun#kierkegaard was like an existentialist before the word and hes from the first half of the 19th century#dont know if you can call vampires contemporaries of people bc....immortal. but carmilla was a contemporary of him#technically#and then when existentialism gets named halfway the 20th century carmilla has just escaped her blood coffin punishment#and so shes alone for a little bit without direction. perhaps free or perhaps waiting for mother to show up again#it's fun that existentialism seems sort of to be abt there being a choice abt who you want to be#that youre not defined by an essence. that What You Are is not defined pre what you do#so you can shape yourself#it's interesting the tension between that belief and the position carmilla is in. no wonder theres self-loathing#but also! she starts resisting the What She Is that is imposed on her. after 1945. starts sabotaging plans#i gotta go download some books#'ive got a talk i wanna catch on goethe' hang on im googling#1749-1832 she lived through that too#oh right faust and young werther i know of those#'Goethe admitted that he 'shot his hero to save himself' a reference to Goethe's near-suicidal obsession for a young woman a passion he que#relatable#god theres so much to read in the world and i have not read any of it#carmillaposting#i wonder what she'd write her dissertation about
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
#tko_art#doomed by the narrative perhaps#i wish I could just stop thinking so much#i once had a thought that I think sums me up#tw it's suicidal#truthfully I had a thought that if my life was a tiny bit worse#maybe if my pain was visible#i might have had the justification to kill myself#because my pain wasn't valid even tho it hurt a lot (was it even there if no one could see it?)#someone always had it worse#and I think i spent too much time smothering myself making room for others#that i was too scared to see myself#because if I didn't want to look at what I had become who would#and who would turn away someone who was useful#what was the point of having hands if you couldn't hold something#and I can't stop running#and sometimes I feel like I have to be okay for the people around me#and I can't stop thinking about them that I can't focus and I feel foolish for even being remotely sad#because I just needed to feel wanted decades too late#and who was the time to hold me if i'm always so prickly and bitey#but most importantly how do I stop biting#blah blah blah#drinking vodka was not the way to go on top of feeling exhausted + sleep deprived
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
God I don't wanna go to therapy tomorrow. Sick of talking about my feelings in a clinical setting. I do enough psychoanalysis just by myself, and now I gotta sit through it with someone else??? Come on.
#speculation nation#i say as if i didnt submit myself to this and am not willingly paying for this to continue#idfk man ive always hated therapy. just kinda kept it going bcus i was so messed up about the whole grief shit#and i guess it's been maybe helpful. i dont know.#SHOULD i mention this tomorrow? i already know it's ass and entirely undeserved#if i did it'd mostly be another source to complain about it. theres really nothing anyone can say to make it better#bc it's bullshit and it already happened. and i already have the objective proof of yet another person losing interest in me.#... i dont know. i feel like it's inevitably going to come up. it's already taken up so much of my thoughts.#my every dream last night stemmed from it all. it was such a fitful night of sleep.#i can only pray that i dont dream about it tonight too. i want a fucking break from it all.#i hope she loses sleep from guilt. i hope she hurts every time she remembers what she did to me.#i hope she comes around tomorrow so she can see the face she kissed and she lied about loving#so she can remember im a person with feelings too. a person who opened up to her. a person who trusted her.#............ okay maybe i should talk about my blatantly vicious retaliatory remarks with my therapist.#i tried to reign it in but Bitch Mode definitely came out earlier today. when it was fresh. and i just wanted to make her Hurt.#i still want that honestly. i want her to truly regret doing this. to be filled with so much guilt for how she chose to do it.#i cant change her feelings. no matter how much i might want to. but i sure as hell can make her regret it.#i feel like im allowed a bit of petty bitchiness after this bullshit. but i also dont like the person i become like this.#anger issues. perhaps i should talk about my anger issues with my therapist.#easier than just rehashing the whole breakup. though i'll probably have to do that some too.#but better to have a goal for it. a direction to focus on. so that it's not just me complaining.#... it still wont be fun. and my ex mentioned coming round an hour after my therapy ends for dropping the shit off.#so Assuming she actually shows up (still not convinced she will after she flaked on me twice)#it's gonna be therapy and then seeing her right after. god it's gonna suck.#i'll try to do some homework maybe. and then maybe see if anyone wants to hang out later tomorrow.#my friends r the real ones. hanging out with me for 7 hours... they traded off between them but still#for 7 hours i was not alone. and that was very nice of them to do.#good things. positives! focusing on the positives. i am a healthy person with a healthy outlook on life. smiles.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have reached approx 80k words for a/b fic, which is the same length as the completed sebis fic i have on ao3, so i feel like that's an achievement, so hooray
#so not sure about the latest section yet. but anyway there can be drafts ofc#i've just been kinda dozy for the past two days despite getting ample sleep. perhaps too much sleep lol#but yeah. 80k words and not even to the end of arc 2 (out of 4) :O#anyway. so like i feel like the first couple of paragraphs of the latest section might not be right yet#but yeahhh. it's okay. tomorrow is a day off from writing so maybe i'll work it out on saturday or something#oooh i have 100200 words in the doc atm. so the last 20k is trash ofc#anyway violet is about to set berbrooke up with benedict lmao and benedict is gonna have to dance with him#but she's also on the lookout for the mystery gentleman benedict danced with at the prev ball#so :3 skjfngk#i love that in this AU benedict has to deal with berbrooke and his very unwanted advances#a/b fic#fic talk#80k by the end of ch16 section 1 or like a lil bit after that into section 2
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’d noticed for a long time that fans have a tendency to infantilize goku and i never quite understood how so many people came to that conclusion,, because Z goku is silly but he’s also like rly masculine and brave to me 😭 but anyway now that i’m watching super i think i get where that trend came from lol.. goku is definitely so so silly in a different way than he was in Z, and i’m not saying that that’s a bad thing necessarily (i dont love it but also i have heavy bias lol) but i am saying that after seeing how he’s handled in super, it’s less surprising to me that people have a tendency to treat goku like he’s this weird totally innocent surface level guy .. do u guys get what im saying or am i crazy
#like. okay….#its not entirely a bad thing that goku is so silly in super bc. hes GOKU.. he IS silly#but sometimes his silliness extends a little bit past what Z goku’s wouldve..#again it isnt always a bad thing cuz i love when goku is goofy.. hes my silly guy#but also i think if it’s overdone it kind of flanderizes him#goku is a complex character but so much of his complexity is like. not surface level so like#making it surface level in super is just disappointing#IDK MAYBE IM OVERTHINKING IT. perhaps im insane#ness watches super
8 notes
·
View notes