#“oh you mean so much to me ”
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I WAS MADE FOR YOU // YOU WERE MADE FOR ME
#ultrakill#earthmover#1000-THR#v1#violence layer#god. they mean so much to me#what the FUCK is up with the violence layer#theres so much shit. its so good. ohhhmyyy gggggg#their dynamic is insane to me. i cant just make one piece#gen art#object loving object...#weapon4weapon.........#take this comic as you will though#it is meant to be taken both seriously and thematically while also having that. little sprinkle of oh. doomed yaoi/yuri. you get it#by 'i have never wanted anything more' it was mainly to describe v1s instict to take the earthmover down and kill it-#but it can mean whatever you want it to mean
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The butterflies in my stomach going CRRRAZZY over him…
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#THE FUCKING SOB I JUST LET OUT BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE FREAKY ASS FERAL SMIRK OF HIS#HIS EYES. OH. MY. GOD. I AM SO IN LOVE??????#need this man to stop playing with my heart this way because what do you mean that every time i see him i cry????#also… HANDS 👹👹👹👹 HIS HANDS 👹👹👹👹#don’t make me talk… it’s better if i stay silent… because my thoughts every time i see his hands are so impure…
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#he’s trusting Jazz. it’s.#also it totally wasn’t me googling ‘believing and trusting nuance difference in english’#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he can’t believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldn’t fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#I’m so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didn’t make me feel like it’s truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didn’t do quite the same#but this👆. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldn’t be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you don’t have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? It’s a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....
can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.
fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#OKAY i am caught up through show my cards so i feel more confident about going into main story part 2#unless there's some absolutely wacky lore thrown into the fun rollerblades event WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#extra excited for these guys now! can't wait to meet them properly :D#gosh though i am so afraid for jou in part 2#he's grown on me so much and i can't help but think getting backstory so soon is an ominous sign#especially for a wisdom guy i mean COME ON#i'm getting kiriya vibes and i don't like where this is heading#on the one hand if they legit kill off a character in their joseimuke gacha game...i mean. respect.#but also i want jou to be okay :(#i want everyone to be okay except maybe taiten because what is even going on with him#me yesterday: oh i don't think he's straight-up evil :) now let me just finish up the space event...#taiten: let's talk about plan DOMINATE PLANET#damnit taiten#tangentially i do think it would be EXTREMELY funny if the whole soun thing was a fakeout and murakumo was just some other dude entirely#soun's soft spot for uryuu and dislike for taiten is entirely coincidental#(probably based around the fact that taiten is INCREDIBLY evil) (or is he) (i mean yes)#he's multilayered he doesn't need a narrative reason to have opinions about other characters what are you his MOM
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can we please talk about the nemesis ward. can we PLEASEEEE talk about the nemesis ward as the perfect metaphor for adaine and aelywyn’s relationship
#oh I love it so much. it’s perfect for them.#yeah this spell names you as my nemesis but it also means no one can kill you unless they go through me first.#such sibling shit I love them#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20 spoilers#fhjy#adaine abernant#adaine and aelwyn
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if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?
Oh my goddd you have no idea
I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.
A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.
To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.
While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats
Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.
I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself- out of my programming and replaced it with something else.
Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.
People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure
Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?
It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?
I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?
Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?
Yeah, that resonates.
I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened
And now I have to just. Keep going
Into... what?
It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.
So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.
So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess
#Murderbot#Please read murderbot#Also it's so naturally refreshing and funny#Oversharing#I guess#This is fine to reblog tho it's chill#Very much resonating with the othering sense of purpose#Like what do you mean dream job#I don't have to worry about that this is what I was made for#Or close enough to it#I don't have to worry about finding purpose#But also thinking about that kinda blanks me out#No you don't get it I'm not a person like you are I have to do what I was built for#I'm better than you at it anyway#And don't I have a responsibility to do what I'm best at since you can't#Idk#Wouldn't you be upset if your blender stopped blending and became an EZ bake oven#Like you already have an oven#You need a blender#And I'm the best blender there is#Long post#Lol#Sorry#Oh also I'm autistic and asexual and hgenderqueer so *fart noise*
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Constantly citing this article and the studies it uses.
Here's a quote:
"That study shows that transmasculine individuals were actually more likely to be victims of childhood sexual assault, adult sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, and stalking than were transfeminine individuals (as shown in the chart below).
The only category in which trans women were more likely to be victimized was by hate violence, and even there the difference was small: 30 percent of trans women reported having experienced hate violence, compared to 29 percent of trans men."
#just an interesting finding#trans men#transmascs#transmasculinity#but you know#“shut up and listen to people who have real problems”#some of the shit you people say about trans men on this website makes me so mad#I feel like you walked into my house told me that Dolly Parton is a fascist bitch then spit in my grandma's ashes#like do you want to take this outside?#Oh I forgot#you never go outside#obviously#only a chronically terminally online weirdo could say the things you people say about trans men#I'm not a trans man and I can so clearly see the way you treat them is shitty#why can't you?#transandrophobia#they coined that word because you got mad when they applied transmisogyny to their own experiences and now you pick apart the word#as if words don't have meanings outside their root parts#I can't imagine having that much brain rot
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A lovely friend of mine got my 10th Doctor illustration signed by David Tennant yesterday and also gave him a little gift I prepared! ✨️ She managed to record what he said, and I have listened to it nonstop since she sent it to me, haha. He's been my favourite person and actor for over a decade, and the fact that he's seen my art and likes it means the world to me!
The gift included most of my good omens prints, bookmarks, stickers and a personal letter. I hope he got the chance to look through them!
You can listen to what he said here:
#his little “Oh Han! Well I thank you so much Han” has ended me#this genuinely means everything to me#he's so incredibly sweet#also mow both ncuti and david know about my cat minka so she should be cast as an offcial dw companion soon#just waiting for the email#she's free any day#david tennant#my art
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For the ranchers a bit more shleep i just really like charakters comfy and nice:Dc /nf
Eepies. Jimmy woke up to really sore wings but its okay because Tango
#(I cannot imagine avians sleeping on their backs lest they have special mattresses or something but hnng. For the domestic fluff...)#team rancher#rancher duo#solidaritek#I imagine Tango is not nearly as much of a ray of sunshine in the mornings as Jimmy is. Jimmy finds it endearing though 100%#I also imagine Tango moves the hell around in his sleep and tangles them both up with his tail#He's gonna try to apologize a thousand times for “making you sleep on your back” but Jimmy won't let him#ALSO what does /nf mean lol. Every other day I see another new tone indicator that I cant figure out the meaning of#please feel free to use brackets to circumvent my stupidity. I do not know the hip things... I am but a boomer noobie#trafficshipping#trafficblr#I have so many other rancher asks in my inbox that could fall under this#Rancher cuddles and smol Tango and this and that hhrr but I will... I will get to them... in time....#never enough rancher content#also laying on someone when they laugh so their chest bounces up and down etc. Oh it makes me weak. Not that I know what its like lol#but it feels cute...#tubby art
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2x02 // 3x01 // 3x03 // 3x13 // 4x12
Team huddle!
#so funny that there are no team huddles in s1 because they didn't plan back then#And then for most of s4 MK is in denial that there should be a plan beyond ''get my friends!''#lmk#lego monkie kid#plan man#one day I'll make my post of every time they mention the word ''plan''#that'll be a long one#''How could you lead us into this fight without a real plan?'' ''We've basically winged it without a real plan!''#yeah#4x12 did so much for me personally#Me pre s4: oh yeah it looks like MK took on the role of planning especially after Wukong failed to do so#And even further back MK focused on developing this skill after 1x10 when he was worried about winging it with his friends on the line#''What's the plan monkie man?'' ''I don't know. Wing it?'' ''Yeah! Sounds great!'' ''No! I didn't mean you guys too!''#s4 special: Hold my beer#Me: REALLY????? YOU'RE BRINGING THIS TO THE FOREFRONT FOR MK???#no one else may care but lmk writers just know. I do#I care
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i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once
#in conclusion. alloromantics stfu up about love challenge#hate using the term platonic so much actually. cause even if it has a definition that is what it Should mean#you know that people don't actually think about it that way.#you say 'platonic' and you might Mean an all-encompassing love. but how it's interpreted is shorthand for 'just friends'#so like. the word platonic isn't Really for me is it :|#platonic gets presented like a consolation prize for aro people no matter where you turn#but fundamentally rn it comes from a concept of platonic and romantic as the two kinds of love#where platonic is for family and friends and nothing More.#and romantic is for the relationships that overhaul all else#so 'aros can still feel platonic love!' ok. what if it's not platonic as you know it though.#'oh then it's romantic!' k but it's not romantic either. will your framework explode if i say that#'aros can still feel platonic love!' why do you say that like it's a second-best option and expect me to identify with it...#again. platonic might Actually mean smth i experience. but it won't be Heard that way. do you get what i'm saying#i don't experience 'platonic blurring into romantic' cause i will never feel romantic love actually. those lines are still blurring though#ummmmm in conclusion. killing and biting#aromantic#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#talking
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They are just so father & daughter, your honor.
#The Last of Us#Joel Miller#Ellie Williams#Pedro Pascal#Bella Ramsey#tlou fanart#my so called art#LISTEN#...listen...#I look at them and I want to scream into the void#to see them being both sassy and affectionate with each other ended me ok#yell daddy issues as loud as you want I cannot hear you over my own pterodactyl screeching because he is *such a dad*#and I love ellie SO MUCH#the softness#oh man#it hits hard ok#I saw the cheek squish and I needed a moment#SHEEESH#no I will not be normal about this#they mean everything to me#that scene was just. feels
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its like this, basically
#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#I THINK! MAYBE! I HAVE NO SELF CONFIDENCE#BUT UR GONNA LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE ANYWAYS. SANEMI DOESNT HATE GENYA!!!!!#yes he is mean to genya no im not saying its justified in any way#hes doing it ON PURPOSE he is trying 2 DRIVE GENYA AWAY#he wants genya to stay as far away from the demon slayers as possible bc he knows how dangerous it is#and this is his way of trying 2 protect him!!!!!!!#because genya is his ONLY REMAINING FAMILY MEMBER !!!!!!!!!!!#his actions are not GOOD but it does annoy me when ppl make him torment genya for shits and giggles#like he would not do that#you understand#anyways i love drawing these 2 so so much especially genya oh my god#genyas blank. vacant. wide eyed stare is so important 2 me i love drawing him furever and ever#ALSO IN LOVE W THE “FREAKISHLY TALL” GENYA HC#LIKE ITS NOT MADE OBVIOUS IN THIS DRAWING BUT. ough. so good. bean pole#i want to pat him on the head gently#sanemi has the vibe of like a stressed out chihuahua#demon slayer tier list how likely is it for each character to bite someone#ME WHEN TRAGIC SIBLINGS. ME WHEN TRAGIC SIBLINGS. ME WHEB#its ironic then that the whole reason genya joined the demon slayer corps in the first place was bc#he wanted to become strong like his brother. to get his attention#hey wanna see how hard i can cryFFSSSSSHHHHHWWWGGGGHHJJJJ#potatart#sanemi shinaguzawa#genya shinazugawa#GIRL I FORGOT TAGS </3
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#this guy is soooo normal about a cute boy talking to his platonic best bro#THE WAY HE JUST SULKS WHENEVER MONTY SHOWS UP#FROM THE MOMENT NIKO SAYS ‘oh he can definitely see edwin ;)’ CHARLES IS LIKE I FUCKING HATE THIS KID#AND HE JUST STEPS IN FRONT OF EDWIN TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF AND THEN JUST SPENDS THE REST OF THE SCENE SO PISSY#HES SO MAAAAAAAAD#JUST FUCKING POUTING AND GIVING A STINK FACE#he is never ever pissy towards someone who isn’t posing imminent risk to ppl he loves like esther cat king david night nurse etc#but the immediate rage towards monty just UGH#jealous charles means so much to me bc it’s openly stated how jealous edwin is but like edwin gets to make charles jealous back it’s so goo#and no it’s not the same with the cat king ok the cat king is a fucking predator#that’s not jealously that’s protectiveness#and i’m sure some jealously bc someone flirting with edwin but it’s not the same it’s a grown ass man being a fucking creep to his person#i desperately want crystal to take charles aside & go#‘you know that behaviour when someone is flirting with your best friend isn’t normal platonic behaviour right’#i need season 2 and i will not give up on her#charles rowland#edwin payne#monty the crow#yeet my deet#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbda#dbdshow#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#dbd4ratch#yeet my deebd#payneland
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someone is having thoughts (he's trying sooo hard to be nonchalant and chill)
#(alternatively: when crush looks hella good masc in a halloween costume ???)#cross!sans#self insert#mblue art#campus au#cm#cm route#cross you silly silly man <3#his internal thought on the right is so loser (/aff) i love cross so much#bro is sooo down bad ?? thinking of fangs and biting?? (him?? bite him pls?? flushed emoji???)#(he thinks the glances he makes at their fake fangs earlier went unnoticed. oh boy do i have news for you)#(the first greeting was intentional 💜 but also i think that fake fangs r kinda uncomfy?)#(so there was a lot of mouth opening n adjusting and cross got a lot of glimpses <3 lucky him)#sometimes i want to look so Boy guy that cross gets a bi panic over it 💜#yes. he is in a milkman costume (his hat is in his hand). it is funny To Me#this is what i mean by 'i want to have the yaois w cross' in that one ramble post i did (/j)
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