#“oh I still get notes on this piece I did 7 years ago!!”

[chronomaza]

Anyone on tumblr who says that tumblr is great for art is not an OC artist, that's for sure.

[asdfghjklmals]

LILIES & ROSES✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. suggestive comment. WORD COUNT: 1.2k words. TAGS: boyfriend!gojo, satoru gojo x fem!oc. established couple. adoptedkiddos! megumi & tsumiki

SYNOPSIS: oc gojo girlfriend hates being woken up in the morning, but her unconventional family has a surprise for her. AUTHOR'S NOTE: happy mothers day to all the mamas out there! here's a quick little fic for oc gojo girlfriend and how much tsumiki, megumi, and satoru love her. REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!

"alright kiddos, here's the plan," satoru started a huddle in the middle of the living room with tsumiki and megumi. megumi rolled his eyes and sighed, he never liked to entertain anything satoru was thinking of. tsumiki had a big smile on her face and always followed along with whatever he said. "megumi is going to get flowers across the street and tsumiki is going to stay behind and start breakfa—"

"and what exactly are you going to do?" megumi glared at his white haired guardian.

"well, your brave and handsome caregiver is going to obviously be the one to wake up (y/n)." satoru said.

megumi, tsumiki, and satoru shuddered at the thought of having to be the one to wake you up from your slumber. if there was one thing they all knew in the household, it was not to wake you up from your sleep on your days off.

7 year old megumi held out his hand to satoru, "give me your credit card."

satoru scoffed in disbelief at how straightforward megumi could be. he sighed and pulled out his credit card as the 7 year old boy swiped it from his fingers with the swiftness.

megumi walked down to the flower shop across the street. he thought out how you and satoru had "adopted" him and tsumiki almost two years ago. you and satoru were still students at jujutsu high school. it was a huge adjustment as satoru and you were only 18 years old at the time, entering into your third year as sorcerers.

the flower shop owner smiled as megumi walked into the shop, "hi megumi, are you here to get some flowers for (y/n) for mother's day?"

megumi softly smiled, "how did you know?"

"oh, i had a feeling," the shop owner said.

little did megumi know, satoru gojo was a regular at this flower shop. mainly because he stopped here to buy you flowers whenever he made you upset.

"(y/n)'s favorite flowers are lilies," she recommended as megumi was looking at the huge bouquet of roses. "mr. gojo always gets her roses, but secretly her favorites are the lilies."

megumi turned to look at the beautiful white lilies. he had an idea.

"can i have a big bouquet with both lilies and roses?" megumi asked the shop owner. she smiled at him and nodded.

*************************************

at home, tsumiki was standing on a small step stool in front of the stove flipping pancakes in a cute pink frilly apron that satoru had bought for her. the kitchen smelled of bacon and coffee. at the ripe young age of 8, tsumiki was quite skilled in the kitchen. she hummed to herself as she set the pancakes onto four plates and started to crack eggs into a new clean frying pan.

"megumi and i like overeasy eggs... gojo-sensei likes scrambled... and (y/n) likes sunny side up..." tsumiki spoke softly to herself. the toaster popped up as she stepped to the side and took the four pieces of toast out. she returned back to watch her eggs.

"i'm home," megumi announced as he set the large bouquet of flowers on the dining table, "where's the idiot?"

"he's in the room with (y/n)!" tsumiki happily chirped.

the mutual agreement was knowing that the "idiot" in question was satoru gojo.

megumi took out a folded piece of paper from his backpack and handed it to tsumiki as she slid all the eggs into their respective plates, "here, sign it."

tsumiki opened the piece of paper to find a drawing of somewhat identifiable stick figures. she saw megumi with his dark blue hair, her with her brown ponytail, satoru with his sunglasses and white hair, and you with your long black hair and green eyes. underneath the family portrait was written in megumi's surprisingly neat penmanship, ‘happy mother’s day ’.

"awww megumi, this is so cute!" tsumiki gushed.

megumi brushed her off and said, "it's not a big deal, we had to make mother's day cards in my homeroom class".

*************************************

satoru gojo was risking it all today. he opened the bedroom door, the room was still dark as the blackout curtains haven't been opened. he quietly made his way to the window and quickly opened the curtains as you winced from the bright sunlight hitting your face. rule number one broken. (read ‘morning routine’ here)

you grabbed the duvet to cover your face, but was felt with resistance. satoru completely grabbed the duvet cover off of you and threw it on the other side of your shared king size bed. rule number two broken.

you kissed your teeth in annoyance and turned to face him, "satoru gojo, what do you think you're doing? are you asking for a death wish?"

satoru laughed, "come on, i have a surprise! wake up already." he leaned into the bed and grabbed your hand. you groaned in tired annoyance. he held up your body and pushed you into the bathroom to do your morning routine.

"this better be a good surprise." you threatened him.

"or what? you gonna spank me?" satoru retorted back at you.

*************************************

satoru led you into the kitchen with his hands over your eyes.

"surprise!" satoru, tsumiki, and megumi shouted in unison.

there was a delicious breakfast spread of pancakes, toast, eggs, bacon, fruits, and hashbrowns thanks to your wonderfully talented, adopted daughter. next to the table was a bouquet as big as megumi.

you pouted your lips as you looked at the smug three, "oh my gosh... is this all for me?"

"yes!" tsumiki yelled and ran to hug your leg.

"thank you, babygirl." you bent down to hug her as megumi slowly crept towards you with the bouquet that was just as big as him.

"these are you for you, (y/n)."

you grabbed the huge bouquet from the little boy, "how did you know my favorite flowers are lilies, megumi?"

"i thought you liked roses, babe?" satoru asked in confusion as he sat down in his assigned dining seat.

"every girl likes roses, but lilies are my favorite flowers... i guess megumi just listens to me." you teased your lover. megumi quickly stuck his tongue out at the white haired sorcerer.

"oh! one last thing (y/n)!" tsumiki ran to the kitchen counter to grab the card that megumi made. she gave it to you and you swear you almost cried.

"megumi, you made this in school? babe, look at this." you showed your boyfriend megumi's drawing of your little family of four. satoru had a huge grin on his face. megumi couldn't help but turn bright red in embarrassment.

"thank you, all of you." you grabbed satoru underneath his chin with your free hand and pulled him in for a kiss. megumi and tsumiki ran to your side to hug you as you kissed them on the top of their heads. satoru bringing home two children without letting you know was a very unconventional way of becoming a mother, but you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“happy mother’s day, babe.” satoru grinned at you.

EXTRA:

"hey megumi, how much did the flowers cost?" satoru questioned the blue haired child as he was reading a book on the couch.

"i don't know, like maybe $20?" megumi lied.

satoru glared at him, he knew he was lying. he logged into his bank account and saw the transaction from the shop.

"maybe $20? more like $200, you brat!" satoru barked back at him.

"who cares if it was $200? (y/n) likes it."

satoru stopped mid thought, the kid was right. as much as he and megumi butt heads, if there was one thing that they could agree on, it was their love for you.

© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.

DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG

[wordsarelife]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: mistakes can happen but this one might cost them a record deal, so they definitely needs some help from you

warnings: cursing, unsafe driving, someone gets hurt, let me know if i missed any!

notes: mattheo and enzo are brothers in this story, i just decided hehe. (they both keep their respective name, they’re step brothers, since childhood so they are practically real brothers anyway lol)

let me know if you’ve enjoyed this part :))

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"you're so funny, enz" april was laying belly down on your bed, while she was busy giggling into her phone. enzo had asked her if she still had the same number she had in middle school and promptly followed her confirmation with the question if she would be free to call after school.

april had agreed before she remembered that she was going to your place. but, because you were a good friend, you had told her that it was no problem.

now she was laying on your bed talking to enzo, who, you were pretty sure, was at theo's.

you now regreted telling her that it wouldn't be a problem, considering they had been talking for the last hour or so.

you sighed, deeply, before you decided that there was only one way to get your friend back. you took the blog from your desk and scribbled the words down, before you hung it in your window.

as if he had waited for you to write something, theo stood in front of the window and read your message.

do something you had written, featuring at least 7 exclamation marks.

theo looked at you as if you had gone crazy. why should i do anything to help you?

because i bet enzo is just as annoying, isn't he?

theo only spotted a face that made an answer from him unnecessary. he just nodded and walked away.

"oh, already?" you could hear april ask behind you "no, it's fine. i get it, i'll be waiting" and with that she ended the call.

"i'll be waiting?" you asked, with a quirked brow.

"that was embarrassing wasn't it? i should've just said bye like a normal person"

"well, you're not a normal person" you smiled "and i don't think that you could do anything to make him leave you alone at this point"

"you really think so?"

"of course i do, april" you sat down beside her "why did he have to leave so suddenly?" you tried to not sound suspicious, but you were really curious what theo had done to get enzo off his very important call. luckily, april hadn't even noticed what you had been doing.

"band practice" she shrugged "theo is a strict boss"

"i bet" you mumbled while your eyes were still fixated on the piece of paper in his window. why should i do anything to help you? catapulting you right back to the night a year ago. you shuddered at the thought of it and tried to ban it from your head as fast as possible. theo was a constant reminder of your mistakes and maybe it wasn't him you hated but the realization of fault that hit you anytime your eyes fell on him.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

the garage was filled with thick air that had been warmed all day as the sun beamed down tremendously. theo rubbed the sweat off his forehead as he sat his bag down inside.

enzo walked to the couch to open his guitar case. he halted in his motion and the rest of his friends perked up at his lack of movement.

"no, enzo" blaise muttered "not again, come on"

"it did not do it on purpose" enzo turned around to face his friends and theo looked around his body to confirm what he basically already knew.

"where's your head at?" draco's tone matched the annoyance that was bubbling in theo's chest.

"is that a serious question?" matt laughed "it's deep under april's skirt"

"matt" enzo sighed as he rubbed his neck in embarrassment.

"april hart?" blaise asked "the one you've had a crush on since she moved here in first grade?" enzo nodded and blaise laughed "that's what i call consistancy, mate"

enzo would've probably laughed if it weren't for the bitter look the bands' leader was still spotting. "are you angry?"

theo sighed. "it's the third time you forgot it, enz"

"i know, i'm sorry, theo" enzo brushed a hand through his hair, before he turned in draco's direction “can i lend your car and get it, please? i won't take long"

"are you kidding me?" draco asked humourless "my mother is gonna kill me if something happens to that car. i'll drive"

"i'll come with ya" mattheo stood up from the couch.

"why don't we just all go?" theo asked sarcastically.

"yeah, why not?" blaise smiled, not catching that theo was just making a joke.

"no, i meant-" the group was already walking out to the car and theo just accepted his fate. "why not" he mumbled before he got in the back seat.

enzo was sitting in the middle of him and blaise, while mattheo had been able to plant his arse on the passenger seat next to draco, who was already setting the car back.

"it's so silent" mattheo mumbled "why don't we listen to some good music" he grabbed a cd from his pocket and just a second after, the loud drums and guitar of blood//water, the first song on cursed legacy's debut album floated through the car.

the boys broke into cheering. "you made a cd?" draco asked smiling, while mattheo nodded proudly.

"old school" enzo grinned, but clapped mattheo's shoulder nonetheless.

"hey" draco said harshly "you stay back there" he pushed enzo back into his seat. "i told you guys to hold him" he looked into the mirror and found theo's eyes, who looked not entirely happy, but did as he was told.

the seatbelt of the middle seat in draco's mums car had been broken for a while. she had originally forbidden them from riding in the car with five people, but draco tended to ignore her rule, even if he normally was quite fussy about anything happening to the car, banning drinks and food completely. but theo's car was still getting fixed by his uncle, so it was their only option.

"while we're on the topic of the band" blaise said "did you call that guy back? the one from the record label?" he asked theo.

theo smiled "i did, yeah. thats what i originally wanted to talk to you all about, but enzo was busy talking to the demon's bestie"

"demon is a rather harsh word" draco muttered.

"aren't you guys a bit too old to upkeep that childish feud?" mattheo asked. "you used to tell her everything and now you're not even saying a word about the record label thing"

"i really thought you guys would go back to normal after everything with leo" enzo added and all heads turned to him.

"i told you not to mention him" theo said angrily and enzo slumped down in his seat.

"it's been a year, mate" draco’s eyes found theo's in the mirror.

"it doesn't matter" theo shook his head, before he abruptly changed the topic. "he wants to see us, as the preact of some band in six weeks"

"the record guy? really?" mattheo perked up "thats like super soon"

"he seemed really excited" theo shrugged "this could be our chance guys. we get that deal and in less than a year we're off to america or tokyo and probably recording our second album, while already writing the third"

"as long as our little shakespeare keeps working that won't be a problem" blaise ruffled theo's hair, his hands letting go of enzo, while theo was busy slapping his friends hands away, hence why he also let go of the younger boy in the middle.

"hey! what did i tell you?" draco full on turned around in his seat.

the next three seconds happened all at once. mattheo was the first who screamed. it had taken draco less than a second of not looking to effectively drive off the street and in the direction of the nearest tree. draco turned around alarmed, swerving the car to the side, luckily not driving frontal into the tree. he stopped the car at the same time, what would've been fine, if blaise and theo had held on to enzo again, or if his seatbelt had simply been working.

he went flying trough the car, mattheo's arm darting to the side, to stop enzo flying through the car's windshield. sadly, his force wasn't enough and enzo still hit the dashboard quite hard, but at least he stayed inside the car.

"ow" enzo cried, holding his arm.

"shit, shit, shit" draco muttered under his breath. "is anyone hurt? are you all fine?" his voice broke.

"blaise and i are fine" theo said quickly to calm his friend "but enzo.." all eyes turned to enzo who was laying in the middle of the car, between mattheo and draco, who was staring down at him wide-eyed.

mattheo excused himself to call an ambulance.

"this is all my fault" draco brushed a few tears away from his cheeks "i should've just given him the car, or gotten the guitar on my own, i should've never-" he was interrupted by theo.

"it isn't your fault, draco" he assured "blaise and i let go of enzo in the first place, it was our job to keep him safe and we got distracted"

"i shouldn't have screamed at you like that" draco put his head on the steering wheel, trying to hide the stress on his face.

"theo is right, mate" blaise added "it's on us"

it seemed like draco wasn't even hearing him. "i will probably lose my license"

"you won't" enzo muttered through clenched teeth "we'll say there was a deer"

"i'm so sorry, enz" draco excused, it seemed like he only remembered now that enzo was still laying in the middle, holding his arm. "does it hurt badly? i actually don't care about the license, they can take it, as long as you're fine"

"i think my arm is broken" enzo held up his right arm, which was bloody and looked like it wasn't supposed to be formed the way it was right now.

"shit, enz" draco rubbed a hand through his face, before he quickly opened the door and threw up on the floor.

"the ambulence will be here in ten minutes" mattheo said, as he poked his head through the door. "what is he doing?" he wondered once his eyes fell on draco, who was still hanging half out of the car.

"puking" enzo, blaise and theo chorused.

"gross" mattheo shuddered, before he opened the backdoor of the car. "you guys should come outside, so the medical team can assist enzo better. we shouldn't move him"

"yeah" theo nodded, while he pushed blaise out of the car.

“why did i have to come with you again?” you were walking from the parking spot to the entry of the hospital.

“because someone had to drive the car” april pointed to the phone in her hand, which she had used to try and call enzo the entire way here. her hadn’t picked up so she insisted on visiting him, but not without a few different sorts of chocolate (she wasn’t sure which he liked) and flowers.

“yeah i get that, totally” you rolled your eyes, so that she wouldn’t see “but do i really have to come inside?”

“i need moral support”

“you’re not the one who broke his arm”

“enzo might be happy to see more than one friendly face”

“it’s not like he’s laying on his death bed, april” you nudged her arm “i’m sure he comes home today, we could’ve just gone to his house tomorrow”

“i want to see him”

“okay, fine” you groaned, but followed her inside, where she was already leaning half over the receptionists desk.

“how can i help you?” the lady was rather unimpressed by april’s eagerness.

“we’re here to see enzo, ehh lorenzo berkshire” she quickly corrected.

the woman raised her eyebrows, before she started tapping words into her computer.

“pixie?” a voice called and your head turned to the side. you tried many times not to react to the name, but you sometimes couldn’t help it. theo had been consistent for the last ten years so it was in your nature.

“mattheo” you greeted.

the dark haired boy was holding two cups of what looked like coffee. “they belong to me” he told the lady at the reception. “i’m lorenzo’s brother, i came with the ambulance, you remember?” he waited for some kind of confirmation, but she was already busy with something else, easily going back to ignoring you.

mattheo made a gesture for you to follow him down the hall. “pretty unfortunate, heh?” he grinned awkwardly.

“it’s horrible” april declared “i mean how is he supposed to play? he told me something about a record deal that you guys might get”

“yeah” mattheo looked to the ground, before he changed the topic. “he will be so happy to see you” he smiled at april and april mirrored his expression.

mattheo halted in front of a door. “could one of you..?” he trailed off, as he looked down at the cups in his hands.

“oh of course” april said quickly.

“i should maybe stay outside” you held the flowers and the chocolate in april’s direction, who raised her eyebrows.

“are you kidding?” mattheo laughed unimpressed “of course you’re coming inside. enzo will be ecstatic to see you both”

“her? sure, but me?” you asked unsurely “also, theo is probably in there, so i don’t-“

“he will behave himself” mattheo promised “come on, pixie”

you send him a look. mattheo knew about the nickname as long as it existed and he would only call you that sometimes. theo used it to make fun of you, but when mattheo said it, he meant it in a friendly way. you all had grown up together, naturally as you lived so close and in a small town. for mattheo, pixie was not in insult, but the last bit of proof that you had been friends once. after theo and you had fallen out, you had automatically fallen out with all the boys.

sometimes it hurt you to remember. remember how you and mattheo had spent hours listening to sherlock holmes and climbing trees. or how you had helped draco to read as he was having problems, days when you were washing gum out of blaise’s hair and taught enzo to tie his shoelaces. and theo, theo had always been where you were, he was never far. and everything had slipped away in a single night.

but it was too late to make amends. mattheo knew that as good as you. maybe you all could stop fighting, but go back to normal? probably never.

“hey” enzo raised both his arms when he noticed april and you walk in behind mattheo. “ow” he muttered.

blaise and draco were sitting on chairs on either side of enzo’s bed. theo was standing a bit away from the rest of his friends, leaning against the window.

“what is she doing here?” theo stepped forward when his eyes fell on you.

“hey, don’t talk to my guest that way” enzo pushed theo back, so he was leaning against the window again.

“april needed some help carrying all this” you opened your arms, displaying the different sorts of chocolate and flowers.

“how are you feeling?” april asked, slowly touching enzo’s cheek. “does it still hurt?”

you could practically see the flip switch in enzo’s head, as he realized how much she cared.

“a bit” he said dramatically and his voice dropped a whole octave. “but i think i’ll live”

you exchanged a look with mattheo, who raised his eyebrows at his little brothers dramatics.

“how long do you have to wear the cast?” you asked, while you put the chocolate down on the night stand. blaise immediately took one of them.

“hey that’s for me!” enzo protested.

“we need emotional leverage” blaise rolled his eyes, before he unpacked the chocolate and bit a whole piece off. he then held it in draco’s direction, who took it and started nibbling on it like a mouse.

enzo sighed before he looked back at you “between four and twelve weeks”

“shit” april deadpanned “what about the record deal?”

“okay, are you guys really getting one or are all of you in on a bit i don’t know about?” you wondered. there had been a few too many mentions of a possible record deal.

“no” mattheo shook his head smiling “there’s this guy from the label and he wanted to see us at the preact for a band who plays in the concert hall outside the town in six weeks”

“we can forget about that now” draco whined.

“that’s shit” you looked down “i’m sorry, that’s really awful”

“don’t act like you’re not making internal jumps of joy” theo spoke for the first time since you had entered. “you hated the band from the minute we..” he paused and cleared his throat, before he added “continued”

“you really think i’m that big of an asshole?”

“come on, theo” blaise added “don’t be like this now”

“it must be the first point on that little to do list of yours, huh? what do you want to hear? you were right? we’ll never get famous”

“shut up” you shook your head at him.

“stop fucking lying about the way you feel about my band”

“mate” draco tried to push theo back, who was walking closer to you.

april and enzo were exchanging worried glances as they noticed the tears building up in your eyes.

“theo” mattheo stepped next to his friend, laying a hand on his chest, to hopefully calm him down.

“why did you even come here?”

“i’m only here because of april and enzo” you said between clenched teeth “now stop acting like i’m here to laugh about your misery”

“the band could’ve made it big”

“i know” you simply said.

the others were following the discussion between you attentively, turning their heads, like a tennis match, from side to side, whenever one of you spoke.

“my band could’ve made it big”

you looked up at theo with teary eyes, before you nodded, once, finally. then you turned to look at april. “i’ll walk home” you turned to enzo “get well soon, enzo”

“thank you” enzo replied breathless.

you send one last look in theo’s direction, who gulped as he saw the tears flowing over your cheeks, before you left the room.

“what?” theo asked as he turned around and noticed the angry looks of his friends.

“was that really necessary?” mattheo sighed. “she came here because of enzo, knowing well that you would be here. she wanted to wait outside and i convinced and even told her that you would behave this time”

“you really are mentally seven aren’t you?” blaise asked and theo felt bad that he made your visit to enzo all about himself.

“you know how i feel about seeing her”

“how could we not?” draco muttered “you make it clear over and over again”

“it doesn’t matter anyway, the record deal is through and we can just stop being a band now” theo sank to his knees.

april and enzo exchanged a look, before enzo cleared his throat. “technically you just need a stand in for me”

“what?” theo looked up.

“it’s not over, theo” enzo said “you just need to find someone who can play the parts, or at least learn them in six weeks and after my arm is alright i can come back”

“he’s not wrong” blaise nodded “we just need to bag that deal and the rest is not important right now”

“okay, who?” theo deadpanned “you’re incredible on the guitar, who could we possibly find to be just as good?”

“you know that there is someone who was better” enzo looked down in his lap. the rest of the group grew silent too.

“what has that to do with anything?” theo asked defensively.

april turned her head to look at the dark haired boy. “he taught her” she said. “everything”

“what?” theo asked, not believing what he was hearing right now. “what are you saying?”

“we’re saying that you should ask y/n” draco put it simply.

“absolutely not” theo shook his head “i’m sure we can find someone else”

“you just said that there was no one good enough to stand in for me” enzo noted “she might be our best option”

“even if he taught her” theo added “that was over a year ago, who says that she even still plays anymore?”

“she does” april muttered “she’s good, really good”

theo sighed.

“just ask her, mate” mattheo, who had mostly stayed silent, clapped a hand on his best friends shoulder. “we need this record deal”

“i know” theo sighed.

“she’s a slow walker” april pointed to the door and theo raised his eyebrows.

“go!” his friends all chorused when he did not move. he left the room.

“beg her on your knees if you have to!” mattheo called behind theo, before the door fell closed.

“do you really think she’ll help us?”

“i honestly don’t know” april shrugged “but i’m sure theo has to find a way to go even lower than just his knees if he really wants to beg her”

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[nimmie-nugget]

~Hantengu Clones x Disgust Clone Reader~

Reminder: drink water and eat a full meal! Turn on dark mode if it’s currently night where you live~ wouldn’t want ya eyes to hurt right?~ —go to your profile and press the icon that’s on the VERY right, then click “General Settings” and scroll down a bit till you see “Color Palette” and there should be a few options for ya there!—

Warnings: ooc, not proofread, your not gonna like Karaku’s part, you might shit your pants

Note: I’ve had this in my mind for quite a long time!!! Google better be right for the kanji’s I have next to the clone’s names or Istg- This doesn’t mean I won’t stop doing Tokito twins content tho! I’ve been posting some other things instead of Tokito content so i just wanted to reassure~ don’t worry Tokito enthusiastic’s! Your emotion is disgust and your color is a mix of Yellow and Green~ Platonic ofc or else self love has a new meaning💀 Enjoy <3

Masterlist+Introduction

Masterlist

Sekido 怒

You CANNOT come to me and tell me this is not toxic. 💀🖕

Both of you argue the most out of the clones

There was a time your argument got WAY out of hand ‘n both of you started using your BDA like crazy!

Your always pointing out his lil flaws

Tho Sekido’s clothes are more tolerable.

You tease him but not as much as Karaku

Long story short both of you want each other to die 😣

“Why not you fix your hair before you start talking?”

“WE HAVE THE SAME HAIRSTYLE YOU BRAT!”

These two lines kinda giving sibling energy- 👆

Karaku 愉

Your grossed out by the fact he doesn’t wear proper clothing.

Just one touch and you go

“AHHHH!!! THIS IS UTTERLY DISGUSTING!”

Teases you A LOT. You and Sekido most likely teamed up once just to get him to shut up 😬

I think he just considers you a whore at this point-

Considering you always look at his abs ‘n shit but your just trynna tell him to wear some clothes in the most judging way possible 😭

How did he even miss that gaze full of disgust!? HECK it’s your emotion-

“I know you like this Y/n~” he says as he licks his hand. Bro’s a cat fr💀

You gave him the most disgusted look ever that day.

Urogi 幸

He’s too much for you to handle-

Your losing your sanity yeah tots like you didn’t lose it years ago😃

Let’s just say your BDA is to be able to mind control-

The moment he uses his BDA you instantly use your BDA on him if your near.

Tho despite you literally being disgusted of him in every single way, you still hold some respect for him.

“A,IS)EJWAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” *Activated BDA*

You groan as you activate your BDA “I don’t have time for this! And keep ya mouth shut would ya?! Your voice is disgusting.”

Aizetsu 愁

You must admit he is quite tolerable then the other clones but that’s what makes it more disgusting.

You two have a pretty decent relationship.

Tho his outfit…it’s disgusting.

You don’t really hold…much disgust towards him???

Tho it’s just probably because he doesn’t annoy you much as the other clones.

OH YOU WERE VERY WRONG 😨

Your the only clone who doesn’t tease him or act serious.

That’s the explanation to him latching to your arm 24/7 👆💀

“UGHHH!!! GET OFF ME! YOUR FUCKING HEAVY!” You yelled.

“…Y/n don’t yell…that makes me sad…” he said clutching onto his staff

“This disgusts me. You disgust me.”

Yep, ya had to use your BDA to get him off.

But why ya gotta be so mean!!? >:(

But hey! Aizetsu’s confirmed to be a cat 😼

Zohakuten 憎

Let’s just say ALL of the clones are in a black void when Hantengu is in control 😶

Never though I��d say this but this relationship is WAY more toxic then yours with Sekido 😰

Your always commenting on how disgusting he is.

Roast him like a Roblox kid 😎

Tho you won’t be getting away just easily.

Considering he’s the STRONGEST of the clones you’ll def be beat to pieces 😭

“Ngh!…is that all you got? Your unreliable dragons can’t do shit to me! Utterly disgusting.” You say with a grin.

Hell you faced so many tortures that day- tho what scared ya the most was the fact that your regeneration slowed down 😰

Like- HOW!?!?

You swore to never go overboard with HIM ever again 🫡

[changingplumbob]

Woods Household: Chapter 2, Part 7

We spend some time with the voice in Samir's head.

CW: Low level sim spice. Content Warning Guide

Carrying on from last chapter, Samir has a voice in his head now that he's a werewolf. When it "speaks" to him, it will be in italics. When he answers back, just in his head, it will be bold.

When Samir finished his run he swung by the rec centre to switch the laundry over to the dryer. He’d just finished when Reece returned from campus for the day. Reece was rather shocked at Samir’s appearance. The glow he saw earlier may have been a trick of the mind but now it seemed like the red light was paired with a fiery glow from his partner’s eyes. Pushing it to the back of his mind as a likely headache symptom from a fast paced lecture he embraced Samir who sent him to do homework while the werewolf continued searching books for lore.

Reece sat out the back and reviewed the notes he did in class. It was like Keira had said, logical. Flourishing off some answers he heard the beep of the dryer. He went inside but when he opened it the clothes still felt damp. Holding his breath and hoping not to start a fire he sent the dryer on another cycle. He went back to his board right beside the dryer so that if anything caught flame he would be able to react.

Outside Samir felt the wolf within him stir, forcing him to his knees and shifting him. Growling he pushed himself back up, feeling his view become tinged with red.

Cute partner you got yourself. Shut up. I’d really like to take him to bed. Bet I could make him cum faster than you. But you are me… aren’t you? And I’ve already- Am I you? That is the million dollar question. Now, shall we go track down a killer. No! Why not? Are you scared? I’m not ready. I’d hurt myself. What’s wrong with dying trying? It would hurt Reece. Now get… out of… my HEAD!

Samir let lose a violent howl that caused some snow to fall of the branches of nearby trees. Clutching his head he felt that he had turned back in to his human form. The wolf was gone for now. Yeah he should talk to people who could explain...

Collecting Reece and the dried laundry he headed home. Reece had work to do on his presentations, so Samir left him to it in the spare room and turned his attention to the piece of bone he found earlier. It seemed to be a jaw that could fit on to the top part of the skull he had found ages ago. He remembered what Kristopher said about his eyes developing. Focusing he writes down what he can see on the pieces, part of the time his hand seems to move by itself.

Reece: Can I have a favour please boss

Samir: Huh? What’s up blondie

Reece: I finished collecting all that info for my presentations and I think my brain has turned to mush

Samir: Beautiful brain like yours couldn’t

Reece: I was hoping a little, or a lot, of you in me might put the pep back in my step? I still need to do my homework

Samir: *chuckles* Work, work, work

After their fun Reece planted one of the chrysanthemums inside, hoping the grafting wouldn’t be far off. Samir went back to the tunnels. He ran across a strong lockbox but it was wedged under too much debris to try shifting. Although he never clapped eyes on the wolf who had attacked him down here before he did feel like he was being watched.

Heading home Samir spotted Reece’s mum at their door and invited her in.

Samir: Blondie, your mum is here

Kayleigh: Hi ya honey

Reece: Hmm? Oh hi mum

Kayleigh: You busy studying

Reece: Basically

Samir left to go do some carving and Kayleigh waited until he was out of earshot. Well, it was human earshot.

Kayleigh: So tell me, when can I start planning a wedding

Reece: What are you talking about?

Kayleigh: You’ve been together, what? Four years

Reece: Yeah and?

Kayleigh: Oh honey you don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. But you know… some grandkids would be nice

Reece: Watcher! Keira has already said she's thinking of it, we don't all need to reproduce at once. Mum, I’m trying to study

Kayleigh: Yes but with my income I can support you. You don’t need to go to university

Reece: Maybe not, but mum I want to. I enjoy learning, using my brain.

Kayleigh: Hmm… Would you at least let me increase your allowance so you can expand this house

Reece: Mum! I’m capable of doing things myself

Outside Samir can hear the whole conversation and can feel Reece’s anxiety increasing. Time to swoop in and be distracting. What should- oh well there was one thing that was bound to distract her. Squaring his shoulders he goes back inside.

Samir: Kayleigh? Reece and I have been wanting to tell you...

Kayleigh: Have you impregnated him already

Reece: *wishing the ground would swallow him* MUM

Samir: No. Probably could if I tried though. I’m a werewolf

Kayleigh: Three sentences ! That's a- you’re a werewolf? But... they’re fictional

She looks at Reece in confusion.

Reece: He is a werewolf mum. They exist…

A silence descends and Samir can feel Reece’s joy that the spotlight is off his choices coupled with worry about how Samir was doing. Samir didn't like talking to anyone but Reece but he could do it. He'd do whatever he needed to look after Reece.

Samir: I made a sculpture for you... and Harvey

Kayleigh: Oh, thank you. So… werewolf… have you always been…

Reece: No not always but he is now

Kayleigh: And you are still happy together

Samir: Being with Reece is the best part of my life

Kayleigh: Well then who cares what species you are! Thanks for telling me. Can I tell your dad? He’ll have so many questions!

Reece convinces her the best thing to do is leave and brainstorm a list of questions with Harvey.

Reece: I am so sorry, she must have eaten the wrong kind of mushroom or been working with strong paints or-

Samir silences him with a kiss. Sometimes humans are just weird.

Outside the moon rises high, illuminating everything below.

Reece: I guess this means we won’t be sleeping together tonight

Samir: Not with this moon. Get in our room and lock it properly. I’ll see you in the morning *kisses* I love you

Reece: I love you to

Samir heads for the bathroom to try cool down. The full moon can’t be ignored though and he is forced to shift.

Did you miss me already. Hardly, you’re in my head all the time. Yeah but you ignore me unless it’s like this. Because I like to appear sane. Boring. So, who we going to hunt? No one. I am going to look for artifacts. I need to learn more about being a werewolf.

Samir stomps outside, the voice in his head continuing to protest.

I pissed you off talking about the boy toy didn’t I. I love him. Of course we do. That's exactly why we need to track down who killed your parents. No. Kristopher says I’m not ready. He’s a weakling who wouldn’t say boo to a goose. We need to find the killer and- NO. I just want answers. I’m not a killer. But maybe I am. What do you mean? Oh now you’re quiet. Fantastic.

Samir sniffs around for things buried beneath the ground, he finds a few of them to.

He continues through the night with the voice in his head providing unhelpful commentary every so often.

We should take him in the snow, that'd get him moaning. What? The hot, the cold, the sensations would be incredible. I’m not risking my partner getting frostbite. I suppose you’re right. Would be a shame for his pixel parts to fall off. No one asked you. I know you’ve thought about it. I’m in here remember. So what? When someone is turned on they think a lot of things, doesn’t mean they intend to follow through with them all.

Finally the moon loosens its grip and Samir can bring himself to shift back to being human. The voice is still there, obviously, but it’s quieter. Easier to ignore.

Previous ... Next

[tearitar]

2024 Annual Fic Review

Guess who's back, baby!! Wrote a lot this year and I'm pretty happy about it. Anyway, I did a write up with the usual questions on my dw page HERE.

Or you can read it below: (where tumblr has shot all my formatting through the head, so dw is preferred)

Destiny (1)

Seven on high - Andal/Cayde-6

Hornblower / Temeraire (1)

Off the Starboard Bow - Archie Kennedy/John Granby

barter

Team Fortress (23)

It’s all sniperspy, unless noted otherwise.

thrifty

All bite

No bark

ARMSTOPPER - Engineer/Spy

Critical Provocation

Happy Hour

hindsight

positive reinforcement

Tell You Everything

Conflict Resolution

Get This Feeling, Feel This Static - Engineer/Medic, Sniper/Spy

Last Stage Fashionalism - rule 63-verse

Part 2

Part 3

Various Ficlets/Prompts:

Gun Maintenance

Fluffy

Domestic

Yuri

hypnotic

ostentatious

Idle

Post comic 7 ficlet

just might come crashing

Top Gun (2)

Been Told

rings around

I’m in the not so unique position of where I wrote at least 4 of the fics at least 75% of the way done 13-15 years ago, which is a huge chunk of words. I would estimate 12k written over a decade ago. The Top Gun fics were leftover WIPS from last year. Minus 20k words in total? So more like 71k. Which. Still a massive amount for me.

Total number of completed stories: 26

Total word count: 91,005

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

I published 1 fic last year and it took all I had in me. But, privately, I wrote a bunch of OC stuff. I definitely blew myself out the water this year. I don’t think I’ve ever had that much output in a loooong time.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Bruh. Team Fortress 2 after 14 years of moving on. I’m still fervently shipping sniperspy—and I’ve always been a same fraction girlie. Not much has changed with how I think of them but now that I am older and wiser and better at pwp… I know they’re both bottoms. I know it in my heart. I think the me from 14 years ago would be pretty pleased that I can now write decent pwp (or I just don’t care to be self conscious about it anymore).

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?

lol, I love all bite��to pieces. It was fun to write! Truly joyous. I answered this question on a tumblr meme so here’s the answer:

I was on an absolute mission with that one. Knew what I wanted, from top to bottom. Wrote it VERY fast. I love how it flows; it’s easy to read, easy to understand the dynamic. (At least, for me.) Sniper bottoms. Spy bottoms. They’re both extremely clear with what they want, and aren’t, like, blushy-shy about it. There’s a lot of characterizations I crammed in as well and, tbh, the jokes still make me chuckle. (Awoo, biscuit, and LET’S TEST THIS PUPPY OUT, being the top three.) That fic was all for me, HAHA!!

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I wouldn’t say it was a risk… but I feel like I really showed my ass with just might come crashing. I think it’s an indulgent fic, which is not inherently bad, but I wasn’t going to post it. It started as a collection of somewhat melodramatic scenes that I didn’t plan to make cohesive, didn’t make a plot other than “they go up to the mountains and don’t even hang out with each other for the majority of it”. I drew a lot of scenery inspiration from my own mountain trips.

Admittedly, I don’t much like reading “I Love You” confessions in fic, especially during sex. I wanted to play around with what I would consider…. a neat confession, of sorts. Mind you, this is only the tip of the iceberg with that fic.

Oh, and something I learned from all that… I truly believed this was written pretty poorly for an audience (that wasn’t me!). I didn’t think it would get compliments, like, at all. LOL. Imagine my surprise by all the nice things people took the time to say, haha. So thank you to everyone who did take the time.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

Nah. Just keep chugging along, I guess. I wanna finish foresight, and I wanna write more not-so-sub-but-yeah-he-likes-it!sniper. u_u

My best story of this year

Ooh, a toss up between ARMSTOPPER and hindsight. Unfortunately, my thoughts on hindsight have kinda been tainted by the follow up I’m trying to push though so I think hindsight is a bit of a pain in the ass atm, but ARMSTOPPER also had that same kind of suffering. ARMSTOPPER made me take the biggest victory lap, while I reread hindsight more often just because I do like it a lot.... both of them have Spy suffering so maybe that's the real entertainment for me.

My most popular story

Critical Provocation has a baffling amount of hits to me. Well. Not baffling. But it sure is funny. Thrifty actually has the most kudos as of now, but not by much, and it was written earlier in the year.

Critical Provocation was something I knocked out in, like, two days. Because I saw a funny tumblr shitpost, and also I was determined to write Sniper as a bottom, but not… like… being shy about it? I’m not super into extremely shy-blushy-mewling sexually inexperienced bottoms, especially with Sniper. idk, I think Sniper would really put on a gameface about it. Then I think it’s a really cute narrative payoff when he does break. That’s just my two cents. Anyway critprov was fun to write. I’m glad people enjoy it. perhaps the people also long for confident bottom!sniper..... :/c

Story of mine most under-appreciated, in my opinion

Oughoguh it’s not anyone’s fault but Off the Starboard Bow is another one that I’m super proud of but it combines two very niche Age of Sail fandoms that are quite…………….. quite old. I think it’s nicely written, fun, and true to voice. I miss writing for Temeraire. Granby is also a fun character to write for. Things are always happening to him, all of the time. He should be able to suck dick in peace. Archie also deserves to get his dick sucked. rip archie kennedy you would have loved to be granby's normcore boyfriend.

Most fun story to write

I’ve said this with all bite already so my second choice would be Happy Hour, which I sorta wrote buzzed on martinis and melatonin during an 18 hour flight to South Korea, where I didn’t sleep for 48 hours (had to take a third flight to Jeju). It was the only thing keeping me sane on that wretched plane. I had a woman digging her feet into my thighs so ironically when I do reread the fic, Spy going apeshit on the other spies was just me channeling the same violence, and I think of that unhinged plane lady often.

Editing that fic was wild, let me tell you. There’s so many post-dinner minific parts because I wrote the concept of them on the plane. I wish I saved a screencap of an early draft. Utterly incomprehensible.

Most Sexy Story

Thrifty? I’m not sure on this one. I wrote a lot of oneshot PWPs and all of them have sexy scenes, but I think thrifty hits that spot of having adequate build up throughout the fic, with all the flirting and whatnot, and like.. the payoff sex scene, which I think it is very cute to write sniperspy being super into each other and not so fussy with the physicality of it all (just the emotional). Spy especially putting himself in a less dominant position but still being in control is fun.

Oh. I just remembered gun maintenance as well. Conceptually, that was pretty hot. (gun puns....) Non-explicit build up is what I enjoy writing a lot.

Story with the single sexiest moment

positive reinforcement. Another fic inspired by a tumblr shitpost but

Sniper leaps from his chair, grabbing Spy by the face, thumb and forefinger circling over Spy’s mouth to shut him up. Spy jumps, surprised into reaching for Sniper’s wrists, but it’s been a while since Sniper touched him, and the burning stare is enough to make him freeze in place. Sniper gives Spy’s face a little shake for emphasis. He leans down, fingers digging into Spy’s skin through the mask. “Then. Figure. It. Out.”

lol. I love sub!sniper with all my heart but in those moments when I write him calling the shots, I do have fun with twisting the dom/sub dynamic around. I mean, what’s cuter than teaching your normally calculating attack dog the command to “go feral” on you? :’)

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story

Nah. All my fics are in the category of “I’m Not Surprised”. hindsight, in fact, was such a ME fic to write. No one should have been surprised about me writing this kind of time travel fic.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters

LMAO, I GUESS THE FIRST TF2 FIC I WROTE AFTER 14 YEARS? barter? I wrote it, got a bit dissatisfied with falling into “oh spy of course gets on his knees and sucks sniper's dick” trope and so I was like… I’m gonna turn the dom/sub dynamic around a bit. and wrote it twice?????? i don't claim to be reasonable. but i think i did make it clear that Spy was running the show the entire time.

Hardest story to write

ARMSTOPPER TOOK ME 14 YEARS TO PUBLISH. Prior to this year, I had not open the document since 2015 but the creation date was 2010. That file has survived three computer changes, all my years of uni, 10 years into my career. that's my teen child. i can get it a drivers permit.

On a more serious note, ARMSTOPPER’s unfinished state was due to a lot of high expectations from myself at the time, combined with me just drifting away from TF2 around 2015. I got into other fandoms! I also wasn’t a deft enough writer to fully pull off with what I thought I had to write. ARMSTOPPER was supposed to be long and plotty with a sex scene, confession, and courting. And I didn’t know how I wanted to end it at the time. And so it languished!

Years later, I opened it back up again and thought what I had written was still good. I’m not sure if it’s really noticeable, but there’s a distinct shift in writing in the middle of the fic where I simply continued where the early 20s me left off. I think towards the later half, it’s just a bit snappier and the narrative humor is sliiiightly different but I think I was able to emulate my older style of writing, which is a wild thing to say, haha.

I also had to pull out an unbelievable amount of meme jokes from the fic. There is a “Deal With It” falling sunglasses meme gesture Spy does at the very beginning and in my heart of hearts I knew I could not totally rewrite over it.

Most disappointing

(puts my hand on ur shoulder) Those Aren’t Posted.

But!! Honorable mention goes to rings around — where I forgot to write an entire scene (THE ENDING I PLANNED?!?) and posted the fic, panicked, and had to, at great speed, write that missing scene in. WHICH IS WAY THERE WAS A WEIRD TIME SHIFT EPILOGUE AOUGHGOGH MY GODDDDDDD. I wrote a different ending (with Carole), which I did not initially plan because I completely forgot my original ending (with Ice). Incredible work, by me. What a blunder. Other than that, I very much like rings around. It deals with my favorite time travel themes of guilt, longing, and a character looking into their future and just simply hating it because they end up being happy, LOL.

Easiest story to write

Critical Provocation. I saw the shitpost “griping and complaining on it” and a demon possessed me. I slapped that one down quick since I was looking for any excuse to write bottom!Sniper being on the inexperienced side but totally up for it. Wrote out the banter I wanted (WHICH SOME ENDED CUT, THEY WOULDN’T SHUT UP ENOUGH TO GET THEIR DICKS OUT..), and then the rest fell into place, thank god. It was a very Point A to Point B type of writing experience.

Fun bonus fact: I have mulled over a pillow-princess!Sniper follow up but I genuinely think I’d write it in such a way where it’d be more like restraint kink than being pampered. Idk, imagine they attempted it and found it lacking.

Biggest surprise

Bruh. TF2. all of them.

But, more seriously just might all come crashing, which I will get more into in the next question. I’m not surprised I wrote it, I’m just surprised I published it since I tend to not post stuff I find embarrassing, lol. That fic was really supposed to be for my own practice and entertainment.

So… what I mean to say is…… JMCC was written …… from the heart and … (grits teeth) very sincerely. Not that my other fics aren't sincere but. Like. This one was….. hrm …this was written with genuine affection and earnestness for the ship. And I truly didn't care to put in any more than what I wanted (hence the gaps). I don't think it's very polished, and the pacing is something I did not focus on. I’m a pretty confident writer, so to put something out there where I’m kinda like “lol, that was meant for me to read myself, not for others” is… eh. Kinda revealing, I guess.

Most unintentionally telling story

Right. Here we go. I’m gonna yap at length about just might come crashing. Because I feel like it’s a bit different from the other tf2 fics I put out there. Like I need to justify myself, lol.

I put a lot of boring themes in that one. Career burnout. Now’s-not-the-right-time romance. His-Happiness-Over-Yours. The importance of time away from something or someone you love (a job, a partner). Being perceived in what you think is the most cringiest way possible (gee..). I love dynamics that play with mutual attraction/awareness of feelings, but both participants actively choose to not go forward for whatever reason. It’s emotional purgatory, and that’s fun to me.

It’s my ideal, self-indulgent version of sniperspy; love as a responsibility you're taking on. Love being a cold little cabin you are caging yourself in, with all these monitors and trackers you aren't using. The one time you do, there's a huge truth being blurted out that you can't beny but you're also not surprised by it. And the only surprise Spy feels is his own deep, unrelenting happiness. He disassociates, compartmentalizes, because he knows he’ll choke on it.

All this, and he still lets Sniper go out for days, freely, despite being lonely, because Spy knows Sniper will come tapping against his window eventually. Sniper is an independent spirit, but he also knows the lengths Spy has gone, and that's also daunting—being invested in someone's happiness that might not be in line with your own. I think, in the end, they are two fundamentally different people that just happened to cross paths due to circumstance. If early on they had met other people more compatible.. I mean. I don't think they're each others' first choices. They both know it.

This isn't even addressing the mercenary careers they both have, and there's a high chance either one of them will find the other dead in a ditch eventually (in THEIR minds, at present). To them, being in love is a burden you take on so you make damn well sure it's worth it.

Then, I suppose after all the mutual pining’s been addressed, they’d deal with it in their typical mercenary way, by being absolutely ruthless with it. For them, being in love is a job, one you can also burnout of. These are two people who take joy, pride, and satisfaction from their careers. They are going to care a whole lot. So, you know, other than that being a completely deranged way of thinking, that’s just their take.

(I touch on this in hindsight, the time travel fic when Spy is having a moment and thinks about the work and effort of a relationship.)

Don’t get me wrong, JMCC is a hopeful romantic fic—but there’s a tragic undercurrent to it, lol. I don’t resolve the career burnout. I don’t have them confess directly. They don’t talk about it. I don’t go into the UFOs. I don’t even write an explicit sex scene. They don’t even see each other for the majority of their two weeks in the mountains. At the end, Spy comments on Sniper being intentionally hurtful. Is it mutual? Yes, it is.

Fourteen years ago I wrote all that matters, which I belatedly realize was kinda the prototype for this, the first iteration of that underlying sadness and the work that goes into maintaining a relationship. There's a bookmark comment on it by nik_knak, "Maybe it's just me, but I myself find it rather depressing, even in the end." Haha, they've nailed it even before I did. Funnily enough, it’s also from Spy’s POV; love as extra work you’re willing to take, and you’re just lucky to have that other person return it, and that you might be happy doing it.

So, yeah. That was a telling fic. The most unintentional part of it was me revealing that Spy is my little meow meow. My sweetie pie. My silly pookie. My dipshit clown dolly I like to continuously waterboard in an iced tub just to see him suffer while I put Sniper into the woodchipper but give him a nice mug of hot chocolate afterwards.

Story I’d like to revise

Brother, once them fics are up I don’t touch them. Unless to fix typos or sentence structure.

Story I didn’t write but will at some point, I swear

This will get me blacklisted but I think about a BLU Spy/BLU Scout with RED Spy/RED Sniper comedy hour fake dating situation a lot. Wherein BLU Scout attempts psychological warfare with his sperm donor, R!Spy, by pretending to date B!Spy, who goes along with it because it would be so fucking funny. R!Spy sees through their plan and doubles down, ALSO pretends that he’s SO HAPPY his SON has FOUND a GOOD GUY to DATE and he hOPeS THEy aRE soOoOoO hapPY tOGeTHer.

In the meanwhile, R!Sniper proceeds to reconsider his life choices. Relationships go down the pisser. RED and BLU teams implode. All because B!Scout and B!Spy are fucking and committed to the bit.

And that’ll be the fic.

Closing statements:

Never delete your WIPs. Never say die. If you're not feeling it, put it away. Maybe in 10 years you'll come back to writing and it'll be fun again. Maybe you'll love tf2 again.

Anyway. What a nutty year. I hope to continue the trend! I've got a few more fun sniperspy pwps to finish so I'm actually hoping the first fic for the New Year is either Sniper shaving Spy or being in a maid dress. Who could say. The man contains multitudes.

[bleachbleachbleach]

8/12 - 8/18/2024

I wrote a version of Renji 11 what is at this point several years ago (RIP me), and have since just been throwing random stuff/required additions into that Note with no rhyme nor reason, so it took over two hours this week just to sort it all out. But! It is sorted!

Modern-era Renji 11 consists of 3 new scenes and 3 already-existing scenes. I wrote 1.5 of the new scenes. As far as how well I think this Chapter is going, I dunno. As a narrator, Renji’s kind of like, oh hey, here’s a thought I had. And here’s another one! Which feels legit but I’m not sure if it allows the reader to understand which pieces of information are actually important for following the narrative.

You know those reblog memes that like, ask people to identify hallmarks of your writing? The concept is fun, but it wouldn't work in practice because 0.02% of anyone who might see that post would have any familiarity with my writing. SO. I WILL SIMPLY TELL YOU. My hallmarks are that I love an interstice—love having things that should be on the cutting room floor not on the cutting room floor—but am also a firm believer in stories not needing to have every scene the characters experience to exist on the page. This combination means there’s a good chance that actually relevant, defining scenes simply do not exist and only the interstitial nonsense does. I think in certain stories this can be a real thing that works. I think it can also have the effect of nothing hanging together, making any sense, or meaning anything, without certain bits of key information/certain scenes that I simply did not include because they exist in my head and therefore exist everywhere right. I think that’s where this chapter is.

Maybe the remaining 1.5 new scenes will help ameliorate that, but I feel like that’s asking a lot of them. And then, theoretically, you’d think fixing the existing scenes would go more quickly than writing from scratch, but I don’t know that they will. Because the story leading up to this point has changed enough that the characters are in very different headspaces and perceptions of each other than they were when I first wrote those scenes. Well, that’s not true—Kensei and Renji are in a very different place with each other. Renji and Hitsugaya need to have the exact same conversation but, you know… better. And FRANKLY, I do not know whether entirely overhauling Kensei and Renji will be harder or easier than merely line-editing Hitsugaya and Renji. =_=;;

I’d really like to finish Renji 11 by the end of next week, and then take some time to finish out the revisions on Rukias 7 and 10, which are the most related to Renji 11. Then I’d like to go back to do final line edits on Chapters 4, 5, and 8 before heading into the big mess of revision that is Hisagi 9, because those revisions will be most related to Hitsugaya 12.

I’m not anticipating getting much done in September, because I have a major work deadline September 30th, and the rest of autumn will probably be kind of garbage, too, and I probably won't exist. But I would love to finish Part II (so, Chapters 12 and 13) by December. Well, speaking honestly, my original hope was that I would finish Part II by May, but here it is, August, and I am still working on Chapter 11. So: I would LOVE to finish Part II by December.

—

I did a low-res mockup of the fic banner several months ago (okay, this might have been last November). I pulled out some high-res assets to work with on Friday and played around with a new design I thought was fun, but it turns out design-wise the old mockup looks much more polished. Or it would, if I were using higher-quality materials. XD So I’ll probably go back to the old design. The only reason to continue with the new one is that it reflects the clusterfuck spirit of everything that happens in this fic, but I kind of like the way the old banner puts a pretty bow on the clusterfuck lurking beneath the surface. Maybe I’ll solicit opinions once I’ve made a more serious mockup of the first version.

[omni-present-god-send]

Hazbin Hotel One-shot

This is just a quick oneshot that takes place during the finale. It’s also a niche way to intoduce y’all to my OC. Enjoy!

Alastor shuffled his way into his radio tower. What was left of it at least. Adam got him good. His chest burned as blood trickled down from the wound. He slammed the hatch behind him as he dragged himself to the control panel. “I can see the headlines now: Alastor, altruist, died for his friends!” He mocks himself. How did he get so close with these nincompoops so quickly? Well... there was one. One that was different then the others. “Alastor? Are you in there?”. Ah. There she is.

Alastor didn’t say a word. His heart going a mile-a-minute. He can’t let anyone see him like this. Especially not her. Not Ivy. Anyone but Ivy. “I wont force you to open the door. I just want to make sure you’re OK.” Her voice sounded so sad, so scared for him. Just like... just like his own mother would when he would come back from school or the factory. Bloody and bruised from the other children beating him. It wasn’t his fault his skin was darker! His mama had darker skin then him and she was the most beautiful woman in the world! Why couldn’t they see that? Why couldn’t his papa see that he was hurting them? Couldn’t Papa see that Mama and him didn’t like when he came home smelling like booze?

“Alastor? Are you alright? Please... at least let me know you’re alive.” Oh right. Ivy is still out there. Her voice was laced with tears as she spoke. He shook the memories away. This is no time to go down memory lane. “I’m alive. There is no reason to worry.” He forced out. Trying to make his voice seem normal. Ivy sighed from the other side of the hatch. “Thank God you’re alive.”

God wasn’t here. If he was, he wouldn’t care about someone like Alastor. Not in the way his mother and Ivy did. Alastor wasn’t someone who was easy to care about. He made sure of it. Never again would he let anyone close to him. He tried that once, and look where that got him. Fighting for his life on the floor of his destroyed radio tower. Where was God when you needed him? God wouldn’t tuck him into bed with a lullaby. God didn’t make him treats when he was sad. God wouldn’t scratch behind his ears when he was stressed. God didn’t put lavender in his room to help him sleep. God only had his father come home smelling like booze and death. God let a 7-year-old risk his life in a factory all day every day just for the hope of being able to eat at the end of the week. If God existed, he gave up on humanity a long time ago.

A folded piece of paper was shoved through the hatch. He started to crawl towards it. “We won. Adam is dead and the extermination is no more. Charlie is already making plans to rebuild the hotel. I was able to sneak them.” It certainly looked like something Charlie would call a plan. It looked like it was ripped right out of her notebook. Sketched on with a pen with colorful notes made around circled sections. Music notes of Charlies favorite song were going to be a center-piece of the front. Husk, Niffty and Angel would be getting upgraded rooms all to themselves. Lucifer, ugh, would be getting his own personal suite. Across from that, on the other side of the building, was a black tower. Circled with a red glitter-gel pen. Alastor’s New Radio Tower!!!! <3

Charlie added his radio tower into the plans? It looked... nice. Built into the building instead of smashed on like his old one. What was this warm feeling? It couldn’t have been the blood from his wound, that wasn’t near where the feeling was. The feeling was in his heart. Was he... emotional? Someone else had thought of him. Added something specific especially for him. It even looked like something he would design himself! Maybe they aren’t as stupid as he once thought.

Slowly, he opened the hatch for her. Ivy only had to straighten out her stance To enter the tower. Being a 10-feet-tall Orchid Mantis helps sometimes. Immediately she saw the wound. He couldn’t have looked much better in comparison. “Alright. Sit against the wall. I’ll see what I can do to help.” To this day, he still doesn’t know why he listened to her so quickly. That’s what he tells himself at least. He could tell that she was having trouble maneuvering around the tower with her size. She didn’t say anything though. Too focused on the bleeding wound in Alastor’s chest. “Alastor, I do apologize. However, I need you to remove your coat and shirt. Only if you’re comfortable with me touching you that is.” She was always so gentle with him. Never glared at him. Never... made him sad. He removed his hand from the wound.

The sudden air on the wound made it sting. Badly. He gave an unconscious hiss at the feeling. A warm hand cupped his face. “There there. It will be alright.” He leaned into her hand as his shoulders relaxed. He felt her slowly unbutton the rest of his coat with her other hand. She removed her hand from his face to help him out of his shirt. Alastor hasn’t been this vulnerable with someone in a very long time. It felt... nice to have someone else take care of him. Even if he had to almost die to get it.

But that’s not what happened. She had been caring for him for months. Caring for all of them really, but she seemed to give Alastor extra attention. Did she sing lullabies to the others? Or teach them how to play guitar? He doesn’t think so. He knows he’s selfish and cruel. It’s part of what makes him such a good Overlord and business partner. He knows that Charlie’s whole thing is to be as good a person as possible to try for redemption, but what could it hurt to be selfish about this one thing?

A hot stinging pain shot up from his wound. “Shh shh shh. It’s alright. It’s just the anti-septic.” He didn’t even notice the medical kit she brought. He felt her scratching just behind his ears. His breathing evened out as she pet his head. “Now, I’m going to have to stitch it up. I’m warning you now cause it’s going to hurt.” was his wound really that bad?

One look told him yes. Yes it was that bad. He heard fabric ripping. Looking up, Ivy had ripped off a piece of her skirt, folded it up, and was holding it up to his face. “Bite down. This will hurt.” So he did. His sharp teeth somehow not tearing through the soft fabric.

Alastor doesn’t know how long he stayed there. Sitting against the wall of his radio tower. Being stitched up for what felt like eternity. If it were anyone else, they would have been dead before the needle broke skin. The needle and thread going in and out of his skin was torture. Even still, Ivy tried to comfort him. “You’ll be alright.” I’m almost done.” Just a little more.” “You’re doing great.”.

How did a woman like this end up in Hell? Oh right, she killed her husband and ate his head. He keeps forgetting that.

Finally, the torture is finished and Ivy finished all the stitches. She began to wrap them up so they didn’t come out. “You did great Alastor. I’m so proud of you.” Those damn words. Why does she always know what to say before even Alastor does? “Who... who killed that prick?” he finally managed to strain out, not trying to make his voice seem normal.

Ivy gave a soft smile as she helped him into his shirt and coat. “You’ll never believe me, but Niffty is the one who killed Adam.” She laughed. Alastor loved that laugh. It meant that everything would be OK. “He was so busy insulting us that he didn’t even notice Niffty sneaking up behind him.”. Seems as though celebration is in order. “Can you stand?” Alastor tried. At least, likes to pretend he did. He was just so tired. His legs ‘gave out’ under him. Seems he’s a better actor then he thought. Ivy bought it hook, line, and sinker.

“Why don’t I carry you back? I’ll make sure the others don’t see.” Alastor gave her a nod. In an instant. He was being cradled in her arms like a child. He didn’t care if the others saw in that moment. She just felt so... warm. So safe and comforting. He closed his eyes and pretended. He pretended he was a child again. Being carried by his mama off to bed after a long day of working and whatever meal his darling mama was able to whip together. He could even hear her humming Alouette to him again. Oh wait, that was Ivy. He didn’t care. He fell asleep all the same. Perhaps God hasn’t given up on him yet. After all, he did send an Angel his way.

[minhosimthings]

Hold Me Without Hurting Me

Chapter 11: Hyssop and Hidden Feelings

A/N: In which an old friend fills your life with flowers again, along a bumpy sided road.

Pairings: Ceo!Jay × Ceo!fem!reader, includes rest of Enhypen and certain other groups

Warnings: angst-fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to enemies to fake dating to enemies to lovers, Mentions of food and alcohol, swearing, nothing much but it's a bumpy story, suggestive at the end

Story prompt: If I had a flower for every time I fell in love with you, I would walk in my garden forever. (This story is based on the language of flowers.)

A/N: I finally got my ass up and posted another chapter yay. I've been so busy nowadays so haven't been able to find time to write much so I'm sorry if this chapter isn't that good

SERIES MASTERLIST

7 years ago

Jay's hands were shaking and his mind was racing at the speed of an atom bomb bursting and spreading its debris. With clammy hands and untied shoelaces, his mind was only on one thing.

'Y/N's going to do it today and I'm not letting her'

The air around him felt suffocating as he glanced at his watch. Sweat and exhaustion didn't deter him, as he ran across the bridge, inching closer to you, standing nonchalantly on top of the grills, looking down at the trembling waters below, with an emotionless face. Your hands were gripping the bars tightly as your mind twisted itself into bits and pieces.

"Y/N no!" Jay cried out, as he reached you, putting an arm on yours, as far as he could reach. "No love, your stronger than this come on." He said in a soothing tone. As he looked back to this memory, he often wondered how he could ever had concealed his own tears.

Your tear stained face turned to him, blank expression on your face, and your grip on the metal bar getting looser. "Please Jay." You begged, feeling a sob come into your throat, "Please let me go, I'm begging you."

Your tone of voice was enough to break him into shards of glass.

"Y/N please we can talk about this." He begged back, his tears still enclosed in his eyes. "Maybe I'm done with talking Jay!" You cried, the imprisoned sob coming out of your throat, "I'm done Jay! Now please let go."

“You know if you jump, I’ll jump too.” “You wouldn’t.” “Oh, you don’t know how much I love you to not do that." You knew you couldn't beat him at his words.

"Y/N come on." Jay said, his words flowing like the calm evening wind, "Who will I have to pick Salvias with me I you do this huh? Who will I have to walk home with everyday? Who will I have to steal my chocolate and crash over at my place to rant about her new crush?"

A pathetic giggle leapt out of your mouth as you turned your body to Jay's and climbed over the bridge, falling into Jay's arms like an autumn leaf. "I'm here I'm here it's alright." Jay rubbed his hand down your back as you sobbed into his arms, his hands supporting your tired head, "Shh my yarrow shush now It's alright."

Current time

"Jungwon please tell me this looks good." You spun out of your room in your dress, posing uncertainly in fron of your assistant whose eyes went wide as his clapped his tiny hands together excitedly.

"It looks amazing Ma'am. This is the one!" He giggled, "I'm sure Mr Park would want to date you for real now." "Has anyone ever told you you're adorable?" You raised an eyebrow at him as he went red, "Don't worry Kayla will love you in that suit."

You checked yourself out in the mirror as your eyes traced the beautiful dress. Off shoulder with blue beads beautifully decorating the golden silk, it was the dress of your teenage dreams. Funny for Jay to have sent it to your room with the note "Get ready. It's party time."

Nevertheless you hadn't objected knowing that if you did this, you'd be out of this stupid fake dating deal. Yet something inside your heart ached. It ached for you to call out to Jay, to tell him you still remember everything about him, from his favourite song to his nickname for you.

My yarrow, he would call you.

Yarrow. The one flower whose meaning you never knew. Your mother never told you, and the book with the meanings sewed in never revealed its secret. You were convinced that Jay made the word up, until one day you saw a beautiful bouquet of flowers from the window of the shop across and realised that it actually did exist after having tea with the shop's old owner. Nevertheless Jay refused to tell you the meaning of it to this day. And as much as it angered you, you found it quite romantic, to be called by a name you knew not of.

"Jay did you maybe plan to tell me what this party was for or did that skip your big brain?" You questioned as the car moved speedily across the road. The hotel you were staying at was a big one, the size of two football fields to be approximate, and you had heard that there was a luxurious party hall just a few miles from the main hotel. Excited wasn't exactly a word you'd use to describe your current state, as you adjusted your tight fit dress, admiring the sheen coming off from it. You noticed numerous other cars parked outside of the party hall which, to have a description of it as 'grandeur' would be an understatement. It was big, bigger than the hotel, with mighty pillars supporting it, gold gleaming off of every corner, stone gargoyles keeping menacing guard.

"Come on Y/N." Jay opened his car door, "This party may be our only chance to break this deal." You swallowed the lump in your throat and climbed off the car, uncertainty clouding your thoughts.

Jay's arm felt like cotton at your waist. He was so afraid to touch you, to remind you that he used to be yours, and you used to his.

His yarrow.

No one else's ever. And yet there was that lingering bitterness in him. Why hadn't you stopped him? He wanted to turn back, knowing you'd love that, but why didn't you stop him?

"Woah this is-" you stared at the interior of the party hall, "-dramatic." Your words rang with nothing but truth as you stared at the brightly lit hall. Chandeliers draped from everywhere and huge curtains of what seemed like red silk decorated the seams with grandeur. People parading around with champagne clutched in their grimy hands stopped in their tracks as their eyes fell upon Jay and you.

"Mr Park! Welcome!" A raucous voice came towards your ear as you saw Mr Hwang from the meetings step forward, glasses of champagne in his hands. "Mr Hwang." Jay bowed curtly and took the glasses handing one to you.

God his perfume smelled good.

"And how do you do Miss Yang?" Mr Hwang's starry eyes directed towards yours, taking you off balance. "Oh I'm doing quite well thank you." You shot a polite smile at him, as you noticed, from the corner of your eye, Choi Minho, standing and glaring while sipping his champagne.

"Y/N come on." Jay tugged at your arm, making you turn your head towards his. "Y-yeah sorry." You quickly apologised, making your way across the crowd with Jay leading you. You noticed how the eyes turned to you viciously as if you were a fire spitting dragon threatening everyone in your presence. In a faint try to ignore them, you sped up and walked at Jay's pace, keeping your head down and looking at his shoes.

"Ignore the eyes darling." Jay whispered in your ear, one hand snaking around your waist, "They're just jealous." His words provided a sort of comfort to you as you finally reached up to a place to sit down.

Great, you thought, now come the vultures.

It had been exactly two and a half hours and you had downed twenty glasses of rose champagne. The sweet bitterness of the drink ran through your veins fast, like cold winter chill.

Winter, such a pleasant season.

All the flowers would wilt and you and Jay would have the task of settling the mud down. It was beautiful to watch the snowflakes fall like a crown on his messy hair, as he worked his hands through the cold mud. Good times, you thought.

The room kept melting into nothing as the voices of your boyfriend and all the guests bored into your mind.

Wait boyfriend? No not boyfriend.

Fake boyfriend, you reminded yourself as you drowsily laid an arm on Jay.

"Jay~" you let out an involuntary giggle into his chest, "wanna go home." Jay'd arm which rested on your shoulder shuddered as he felt you sink into him. He felt warm, warmer than he had before, as he looked at you rubbing your nose against his suit.

"Im sorry gentlemen." He stood your figure up gently, keeping a protective arm round your waist, "We'll have to continue the conversation next time."

"Jayy-" your mouth drawled as you snuggled into Jay's grip. He did have a comforting grip, which you wanted to melt into as he carried you to your bed.

This was familiar, you thought, his hands tracing your body, as if he was tracing lines of art.

Familiar, too familiar.

Jay settled you down gently on the bed and wrapped the blankets around you as your eyes fell upon his dimly lit face. His lips.

"Jay." You breathed out, inching closer to him, hands gripping his collar. "My yarrow you're too drunk." Jay recoiled from you, placing his hands on top of yours to shove the grip off of his collar. But you didn't budge.

The speed at which it happened shocked Jay, your lips swiftly landing on his, bringing back drunken memories for him. Your lips still felt like his childhood couch, where he had let you drift off to sleep as he cried himself to sleep about not wanting to leave you. 'God please let our paths intertwine again', a silent prayer used to leave his tongue. Your lips still lingered with the taste of Iris and Hyssop bundled up with lilac ribbon and handed off to Mrs. Next door for school credit.

Jay's hands unknowingly made his way to the slit of your dress, squeezing your thigh hard as you moaned with not a tint of holiness into his lips.

"Jay- want you." You whined, feeling his fingers grip your skin. "So do I darling." He responded, reaching up your thigh, making sure not to commit the mistake he had made years ago.

[carpisuns]

I just wanna say I have an old post of yours saved in my drafts, about being a beginner artist…. I look at it sometimes to give me perspective and reassurance. Thank you. It has inspired me to continue my hobby/passion even if I don’t get many notes rn. I improve and I see it! Thats all that matters. Thank you. I hope I can be that for someone someday.

oh wow 😭 this just warmed my heart—thank you for sharing with me. i don't know what post you're talking about specifically, but i'm so glad that something i said could give you a little extra boost sometimes<3

it's both cool and sort of embarrassing that this blog is a record of my entire art journey. i didn't start learning how to draw until i got into ML and joined tumblr again about 3.5 years ago, so it has my very earliest art as well as my most recent. the other day my sister and i went through my art tag and i was literally crying with laughter at some of those pieces alskjdf (particularly this one). they're sooo bad but they were my best work at the time! as much as i cringe to look at them now, it's nice to remember how far I've come. There are still so many things I struggle with and things i disappoint myself about, but that's normal because I am still growing. no one stops growing. the artists you look up to the most, whose work seems absolutely flawless to you, are still growing.

and YOU are growing too! whether you feel like you are or not. sometimes it takes looking back to realize it. i'm really glad you can see your improvement! honestly, that's a skill too! having a healthy mindset about your own development can take a lot of internal work so I'm really proud of you for that.

(i got very rambly so cut for the rest lol)

and honestly sometimes the improvement isn't even about what the art looks like—it can just be about how you feel about making it. I think one of my biggest improvements in the last year was getting comfortable with drawing and sharing things that are Bad and Ugly! for example:

the first one i drew 3 years ago, just a few months into learning how to draw. the second one i drew about a month ago. they both have obvious flaws and you could even argue that the old one is better drawn than the newer one. so it's like omg did i not improve at all after over 3 years?? did i actually get worse? lol. no! because a lot of the improvement is internal.

you'll notice that the first one was done in pencil and the second one is pen. it took me years to feel confident enough to sketch in pen because you can't erase! you have to commit to the lines! you can actually see tons of erase marks in the first one, but i didnt even use my white-erase tape at all on the second one. also, the first one is a screen redraw. i was just looking at the image and trying to replicate what i saw the best i can. the second one is new scenes/poses that came from my brain—not that they are very complicated/impressive lol, but there's a difference there. and what you can't see at all is just my attitude about drawing them! i can't particularly remember doing the first one but i guarantee i spent forever on it and was nervous about posting it. second one probably took me 7 mins and i knew it was ugly but i was zero percent embarrassed about that lol. that's progress baby!! cant even tell you how much of a difference it has made to me to let myself draw ugly things. i draw ugly things all the time. some of them get posted online. some of them get shared with one or two friends. some of them get shared with no one. and i've finally learned how to either embrace them as what they are or just shrug it off and go, "you know, this is not it! moving on." blank pages are so intimidating because you have a million opportunities to mess things up, but you also have a million opportunities to explore and learn and experiment and have fun and also to surprise yourself with what you're capable of.

i started out with nothing but a pencil and some powerful blorbo brainrot, and that was enough! that has been enough to power me through years of all the struggles and triumphs that artists go through. it was enough to help me push through every art block and keep drawing to the point that my instincts have improved and things that used to be almost impossible for me are just regular hard lol. i've actually illustrated for a print magazine a few times now, and a few weeks ago i finished my first animatic—which i always wanted to do but didn't have the skill or confidence for.

sorry this is so long, i'm just very passionate about this subject lol!! i just want every growing artist to know that if you keep trying and having fun, improvement is not only possible but inevitable. like, you don't even have to do formal studies if you don't want to. keep looking at art that you like and figuring out what is appealing to you. keep drawing what you feel like drawing. if you're no longer inspired by a piece or it's a little too tough for you right now, it's ok to drop it. you can come back later or never. you have infinite opportunities to make new and better art. and don't forget to give yourself credit for the progress you've already made. it's so hard not to compare yourself to others, and literally everyone—even the best and brightest—feels bad about their work sometimes. but try to compare yourself to your past self and pat yourself on the back for your improvement! it's okay to grow slowly, or in a way that's not so visible on the outside. just remember that you are growing, and you will only get better and better.

also, side note about notes/likes: i know it sucks to feel like your work is not getting attention when you poured a lot into it :( this might sound rich coming from me because i feel that people have been incredibly generous toward my work from the very beginning. but just know that popularity is not really about who "deserves" what, and it's not an accurate reflection of skill either. so if you feel unseen, that doesn't mean your stuff sucks. and you never know what your work might have meant to the people who saw it, even if there aren't that many. art doesn't have to be popular to be meaningful, and it doesn't have to be perfect either.

the world is a little richer and more beautiful because of the ways you are growing and the things you are sharing. so thank you, and please don't stop.

[therosefrontier]

20 Questions for Writers

Got tagged by @pencilofawesomeness!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Ah, 66 of them! And if I count that Whumptober 2021 collection that I put in one work but is really 31 different oneshots, then 96, I suppose...?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

That would be 999226, from the looks of it! (oh wow I didn't realize I was so close to one million, dang...)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Genshin Impact, Tower of God, and now Twisted Wonderland have been the biggest hyperfixations over the past few years, I'd say! And also Fairy Tail! Got a few for FT due to an event...still need to continue those... And yeah, going a little older, I got My Hero Academia, Voltron, Attack on Titan, Sonic the Hedgehog, etc... Also unpublished RWBY. But then I have a lot of unpublished WIPs soooo...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Hmm, looks like that would be...

Every Day We Face the World: Whumptober 2021 | Genshin Impact | 383

We Promised We Would Be Together | Genshin Impact | 342

A Day in the Life of Why Did I Take This Job | Genshin Impact | 242

And You Think, "No Escape" | Twisted Wonderland | 227

Angeli Quaeritus | My Hero Academia | 206

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or at least, I like to! Now I do. So, with Whumptober last year, I did drop the ball on this one, I remember. I was going through the process of responding for a while and taking a long time getting back to people...and eventually, after multiple months have passed, I just went "marked read" to everything that remained. In retrospect, I kind of wish I had not overthought it so much and just made a response. I can overthink a lot of things like this. But of course, I do really really enjoy reading comments! And I like the interaction of responding. But because of my awkwardness, sometimes it's difficult knowing what to say to a compliment... I think I'm better now than I once was, though, even just compared to a year or two ago...

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, so, my first thought is Tower to Celestia on account of being my one and only "real" major character death fic, but it's more bittersweet, maybe? Since I end with the epilogue, with grown-up Klee telling the story of her friends who died and kind of sharing the legend... I think angstiest might have to go to Together We Face the Darkness, actually. Which is, uh, also character death, but canonical? It's a Whumptober piece, and for the most part, those still get happy endings, but not so much for the backstory ones...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Huh, good question! And You Think "No Escape" when I finish it, maybe but yeah, I usually end "happy" in some way, though generally following much angst, but I think I might have to go with A Day in the Life of Why Did I Take This Job for this? Ends with lightheartedly intense snowball fights, found family vibes, and Razor calling his friends "lupical" so, like, looking back on it, I think it might be up there! At least in my opinion :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, I have not! At least, nothing of significance I remember. The community's been very nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, I do not! I don't really write romance much at all? My aroace self does not have this material in my purview in any way XD

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do! Although it's mainly in the realm of "AU of characters from fandom X now in the world of fandom Y" rather than truly making the characters collide, but on that note, I agree with @pencilofawesomeness that the The A.I.D. Universe project we were doing is probably the craziest, for sure! That concept really was just "what if all of the fandoms existed as their own world in the multiverse, and what if there was some super special interdimensional task force that deals with multiverse problems and which recruited all of these characters as members?" We never posted all that much for it, but it was a cool thought experiment back in the day, and we had a lot of ideas for the middle of the broad story and all the adventures they may have. May or may not ever really get back to this, but great memories, all the same.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, I have not!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Again with the A.I.D. project with @pencilofawesomeness, and more than that, some things we did in the past before the AO3 days...

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I'm not really a shipper? So, hard to say, but if I were to pick one, it might be Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, actually? That said, it completely flew over my head actually watching the show; the fondness comes from fandom content, honestly, as is the case with many such things XD

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oof, that is the question. I would like to think that I'll get back to everything in time (what I've published, at least), although there are a few old ones that I think I'll end up making much shorter than originally planned, Angeli Quaeritus included (that one haunts me hard...). Sonic Reloaded, however, is probably not going to happen at all, unfortunately. Same with the A.I.D. Files.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Huh...good question. Weaving introspection into the prose, maybe? Interweaving complicated plot elements and making stuff connect? Making multiple POVs work? I'm not really sure. I feel like a lot of this just goes into the way I like to write, as a matter of style. But the latter point is something I've actually been called out for fairly recently in comments by others, so...thank you? It was encouraging to hear, anyways!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fight scenes have always been tough. I think I'm better now than I used to be, but choreography is tough, and I applaud those who can make it work! Besides that I can struggle with being longwinded and not knowing where to put the worldbuilding in when there is some. Also character descriptions. As in, physical descriptions. How do I describe?? Fanfics spoil me in that I can get away with not really having to do that most of the time, since the main characters are usually known to the reader, but it still comes up.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't think I really have...? I can see where it can add to the immersion, but also, don't want readers to just...not understand what's going or have to use a translate app. Sometimes I will sprinkle in words in another language when I think that is the word that best describes the thing or it's a very specific cultural thing. I also will use Japanese honorifics for Japanese media sometimes, though not strictly. I'm not using it nearly as often as an actual speaker (or the canon media) would, but it feels right to throw it in at places, because that's what I hear in my head? And also, it's just far more specific than anything English has to translate it to? Although I'm not always consistent (and I've probably also been inaccurate at places too, admittedly). Like for instance with Twisted Wonderland, Cater will call Lilia "Lilia-chan", but the English localization just uses "Lils" to indicate a nickname, so I've also used "Lils" in writing Cater's speech, but on the other hand, I'll write Sebek as referring to Lilia as "sama" or "senpai" because that is just way more precise to what he means.

Also, speaking of Twisted Wonderland, it's canonical that Rook randomly peppers French into his speech, so...yeah. Things like that XD

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sonic the Hedgehog! Way, way long ago into yesteryear and long buried... Warrior Cat RPs came around at near the same time for me, though, I think...

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Honestly? I think that would have to be my current big project, And You Think, "No Escape". I'm just really, really glad with the way it's been turning out, and I'm almost done, too! Just a couple more chapters to go. Feels like a breakthrough for me as a writer... I've been at this for a long time, but it feels like it hasn't been until recently that I truly grasped my own style and how to make an executable idea, if that makes sense? But anyways, I like to call myself a found-family-loving whump writer who also likes a feel of action and adventure, and this fic is pretty much exactly that. The fandom inspired me by a lot, for sure. These characters grabbed hold of my heart and now I have a vested interest in seeing these boys talk about their feelings (not an easy task XD). It's been a wild ride, but yeah, I've had a blast!

+++

So...yeah! That! Now let's see... going to tag @resident-normal-person, @wintersphoenix, and @comfort-questing! No pressure, of course! Just if you want to! And also to anyone else who sees this and wants to, you may feel free to take it on!

[raccoongamejournal]

Pokémon X Chapter 8: Sidequests, Berry Farming, and Route 6

This entry is a long one, so I recommend getting a mug of tea or something. Tea's always a good idea.

Having recently arrived in Camphrier Town, I decide to explore.

People keep giving me healing items, and the music's nice, so I can say my first impressions are positive.

Wandering around this hotel, it looks like I can just...go into people's hotel rooms? One person gives Basil a Shock Ribbon (probably for the surprise I gave them walking in, whoops).

I find a Star Piece tucked away on a path, and sell it to the store in the Pokémon Center for...4900. nice! Assuming I don't spend all my money before then, I'll probably get a haircut next time I'm in Lumiose City since I'm not as worried about money at the moment.

...and now on to Shabboneau Castle!

I run into Shauna immediately, and we get a rundown on the castle from a tour guide, who doesn't know anything about Mega Evolution. But then we get interrupted, and our guide needs to go to Route 7 in a hurry. Hmm. I wander around the castle for a bit, since the guided tour isn't happening.

Shauna wants to go to Route 7 too. So I guess the Plot is in that direction. Let's go!

Route 7 splits into 7 and 6, but Shauna won't let me do Route 6 first so I guess I'll have to double back.

I then get roped into farming? Maybe I took a wrong turn...

The Sprinklotad is cute though, so that makes up for any inconvenience.

Back on Route 7, it seems that the Plot is...

...a sleeping Snorlax!

Ah, that explains the Route 6/7 split. Guess I'll be going to Route 6 next after all.

Route 6 looks like a fairly straight shot to the palace at the end, unless you go wandering through the tall grass. Which I proceed to do.

...or at least try to do. Maybe that's a on-the-way-back-only thing. [Note: this turns out to be the case.]

I did think you were a tourist, in fact. My bad.

Hiroko leads with a level 11 pikachu, which Basil oneshots with a Mud Shot. Tacos grows to level 20 and learns Razor Leaf. Hiroko's next pokémon is a pidgey, so I swap to Volta, who also oneshots her opponent, this time with an Electro Ball. I then swap to Tacos to deal with Hiroko's last pokémon, a psyduck. The first Razor Leaf misses, but the second one lands...and then the battle's over.

Tourist Eriko is next, leading with a zigzgzoon. Since Basil's still in the lead, she wins with a Mud Shot and Double Slap before I switch to Browser to deal with Eriko's ralts. The ralts uses Double Team when I decide to Howl instead of attacking, but I win as soon as I land a Flame Charge. I then keep Browser in to deal with Eriko's gulpin, winning with one Psybeam.

And then I've made it to Parfum Palace. It looks a lot like Versailles, which isn't surprising since we are in Pokémon France (the bit might be getting a bit old, but I haven't used it in a few chapters so...)

We have to pay 1000 per person to get in. :(

I was not expecting anticapitalism in a Pokémon game, but I am very here for it.

That's a cool milotic statue.

I look for the furfrou, and find someone with good bad puns:

Heck the rules. If they are in fact rules and not just some guy making a joke. Oh wait, this actually heals my party lol.

The palace library drops some further hints on Mega Evolutions, indicating that a mysterious stone of some kind is involved. The librarian also mentions a book on necromancy, but says that they don't have it. :(

Yep, this is based on Versailles.

Cool dratini statues. I love dratini.

More puns

A minstrel sings at me about a war in Kalos 3000 years ago. I think this is the lore that Legends ZA is going to get into (I'm excited).

My search for the furfrou leads me outside, into the gardens. Shauna helps.

Oh hello.

Looks like I'm getting closer.

A gardener (?) tells me that the HM for Cut is somewhere in the garden. Yay! I find it fairly quickly.

And I found the furfrou!

Sort of. It ran away again. Shauna has a plan to corner it, though, so it's time for a puzzle minigame.

This should be called the Punfum Palace. Okay, that one was bad.

The rich guy wants to put on a fireworks show, so we head back towards the palace. I decide to explore the gardens a little bit first though.

I like the Unova legendaries, and I'm glad they get cool statues here.

Back inside, I return to the second-floor balcony to watch the fireworks show with Shauna.

We then talk to the guy about the Poké Flute.

He does give it to us, though. Or at least lets us borrow it. The butler also gives us the TM for Protect, and repeats the information from the library.

Back outside, I head back down Route 6...and immediately get ambushed by a whole family and their two furfrou for a double battle.

This is a tougher fight, since both furfrou are level 14. I lead with Basil and Tacos, but swap Basil out for Volta after one round. The furfrou's Headbutts do a lot more damage than I'd like, but Electro Ball and Razor leaf do some damage back. I knock one furfrou out, and Volta reaches level 20 and Tacos reaches level 21, but Jan and Erin use a Super Potion on the second furfrou. So now it's 1v2, and the remaining furfrou is poisoned and Leech Seeded, so things are looking ok. Volta's low on health, so I swap back to Basil while Tacos keeps throwing Razor Leafs. The fight is shortly over, and Basil reaches level 20, learning Double Kick. Tacos and Browser also level up, reaching levels 21 and 22 respectively. Browser then learns Fire Spin, which looks like it'll be fun.

Basil then evolves into a diggersby:

I then heal up Volta and Tacos, swap Thesaurus into the lead spot, and go into the tall grass. It's encounter time!

My first Route 6 encounter is a nincada, who I name "Pepper". I then catch a sentret who I name "Sqwarp". This is just what I do. I then catch a honedge, which I am very excited about (look, I like the cool sword, ok) and name "Glamdring". Thesaurus reaches level 20 with the exp from that encounter.

Ghost sword ghost sword ghost sword ghost sword

I have now hit the image limit for a post, which I was unaware was a thing until now. Good to keep in mind going forward.

I'm going to add Glamdring to my party later, replacing Thesaurus, since honedge can learn both False Swipe and Cut. For now, however, the encounters continue with my current party, and I catch an espurr (another pokémon I quite like), who I name "Duchess" (after the character from The Aristocats). I then catch an oddish who I name "Plont". I will not be taking criticism on my pokémon names (although I do take suggestions). I catch another honedge and name it "Orcrist", followed shortly by another which I name "Sting". There's a theme here. Sting does knock out Thesaurus while I catch it, though, so I swap Volta into the lead spot and continue.

Volta reaches level 21 after fighting a few oddish, declining to learn Double Team. And then someone ambushes me in the tall grass.

It's Beauty Brigitte. She leads with a level 12 espurr, which Volta paralyzes with a Thunder Wave before knocking out with an Electro Ball. I then swap to Batman to handle Brigitte's butterfree. One Peck later and the fight is over, and Batman reaches level 22, along with Tacos. Basil also grows to level 21. Since Volta's low on health, I swap Basil into the lead position, right before I fight Youngster Tyler.

Tyler leads with a level 12 venipede. Basil hits it with a Mud Shot and...that's it. I then swap Batman in to deal with Tyler's Scraggy, which is another quick victory. Tyler's a Unova fan I guess (I am too). Browser reaches level 23 from the fight's shared exp.

I then meet and battle Backpacker Roderick and his level 14 Bunnelby. Basil's Double Kick comes in handy, and the fight is over quickly.

Reaching the end of Route 6, I then head back up and go down the other side. I've decided that I don't like the noise that diggersby makes. Why is it like that.

I then fight Backpacker Jerome (I like that there are trainers lurking in the tall grass, it's silly). I swap to Volta to deal with Jerome's fletchling, which doesn't take long but leaves Volta on 1hp after a Quick Attack crits.

Later down the path, I fight Tourist Takemi and his volbeat. I swap to Browser and win with Fire Spin after it keeps using Double Team. Volta, Basil, and Batman all level up after this fight, and I swap Tacos into the lead spot. Right afterwards, I fight Tourist Mari and her illumise, swapping to Browser immediately because I led with a grass type against a bug type. Another Fire Spin does the job here too, and Tacos levels up to 23 and decides not to learn Sweet Scent.

After finding TM09 Venoshock, I'm at the end/beginning of Route 6 again, so I decide to head back to the Camphrier Town Pokémon Center to heal up and do some organizing.

I add Glamdring to my party, swapping out Thesaurus, and teach it Cut and False Swipe. I then stock up a bit on pokéballs and potions before swapping Glamdring into the lead position on my team, ready to level up. I'm going to need to do a bit of level grinding to get Glamdring on-level with the rest of my team, but it shouldn't take long. And I have two spots to revisit now that I have Cut, but I'm calling this entry here for now.

Stay safe everyone, and thanks for reading. See you next time.

[metalhurricane]

Eddie Munson x Goth! reader, part 1

Note : y/n repeated one year, so she’s 18, Eddie’s supposed to be 19-20. y/n’s shorter than Eddie

Masterlist

“Well, can’t be worse there.”

In the bus to Indiana, she had all her belongings with her, which consisted of music tapes mostly, her guitar and some clothes. She was travelling all way from a small conservative town in Virginia, so it wasn’t really a sad trip, getting away from her parents. Actually, she was happy to leave. See, y/n l/n wasn’t really fitting the norm. She was actually considered a freak. Teased hair, black eyeliner and lipstick, ripped clothes and fishnets. A true post punk/metal fan from the 80s. Even some tattoos here and there, and *gasp* a piercing in her nose.

y/n had to go live with her grandmother in Indiana, after her catholic parents thought she was worshipping the devil when they caught her meditating with some candles. That was too much for them. They gave her multiple talks and ultimatums, about her music taste, the way she dressed, the fact that she got bullied and always defended herself (verbally and physically ; she was good at putting bullies in their places). Plus, her father was in the military, so he wasn’t very... tender with her. Unfortunately, as an outcast, she was always put in the wrong by teachers and principals, even if she had good or bad grades.

After many attempts of trying to control her, Mr and Mrs l/n finally resigned that she wasn’t going to change, and decided to send her away to her grandma, so that she can graduate, and then start her adult life on her own. They didn’t wanted to have anything with her, as long as she was “worshipping the devil”.

Her cassette from the Cure came to an end, so she quickly grabbed her backpack to search for another one to put in her walkman. She found Paranoid by Black Sabbath, and put it in her walkman and pressed play. Actually she was happy to go live with her grandma. She was the sweetest old lady ever, and was always nice and never judged y/n. She was very open minded, and always encouraged y/n into her creative side, and exploring herself.

y/n was tapping her fingers on the bus’ window, when the Hawkins sign appeared on the side of the road. She sighed in relief, excited to see her grandma. A bit less excited to start in a new school though. The final bus stop was 2 blocks away from grandma’s home, in the middle of the town. It was covered in bushes and trees, and they were old victorian and queen Ann houses everywhere. y/n took her bags out of the bus and pulled out a map out of her backpack. The bus left her there, and her eyes were going from the map to the streets around her, until she found the right way to go. She grabbed her bags, and started walking towards her grandma’s house. It wasn’t really far actually, a 5-7 mn walk ? Thank goodness, she didn’t have that much stuff, but still, y/n had to carry 3 bags + her guitar.

It was a chilly day of February, the snow was melted, but it was sunny. She wore big black pieces of clothings to keep her warm. She had to squint her eyes because of the sun being so low in the sky, at this time of the year. Across the road, her grandma was doing some early gardening. When she saw y/n, she almost dropped her bucket, and called her. y/n smiled a lot and said hi to g/n, and went to greet and hug her.

grandma : “oh my sweet child, it’s been such a long time ! did you have a good trip ?”  y/n : “yes nana, it wasn’t that long, and I've had all the good tapes you gave me with me !” grandma : “let’s go inside, or else you’ll burn yourself with the sunlight, like a vampire !”

they both laughed as they entered the house. It was an old Queen Ann era house, very beautiful and well treated by y/n grandparents. y/n’s grandfather passed away a few years ago, so g/n had to take care of the house herself. It wasn’t a huge house, but a decent size to welcome a family.

g/n went upstairs with y/n to show her her new room.

grandma : “I thought I’d give you your uncle’s room, instead of your father’s room, considering the circumstances...” y/n : “fair enough” she said smiling in gratitude grandma : “I’ll let you install yourself, while I take the cake out of the oven, and then we’ll get some tea to celebrate your arrival my dear !” y/n : “thank you nana, I'll make it quick”

y/n’s grandma went downstairs as y/n started to unpack her stuff. Essentials first, like tapes, clothes and hygiene stuff. She could get the rest later.

She spent the rest of the day with g/n, enjoying some chocolate cake with chamomile tea, while sitting in front of the hearth. They talked all day long, more like two besties than grandmother - granddaughter.

The next day, y/n woke up in her new bedroom. And for once in a long time, she had a peaceful sleep, with no nightmares. No dreams, but no nightmares, which was a big improvement. She went downstairs to eat breakfast with g/n, as they were talking about the day’s program. It was end February, so school was starting again soon, and y/n needed to register the papers she completed already to the senior year of high school. Her grandma told her that she was going to do it for her, because if y/n went there alone, they would plainly refuse her just because of her looks. 

y/n : “nana, you’re not going to walk up until Hawkins High, you don’t drive !” grandma : “I’ll walk, no worries darling” y/n, sighing : “there’s no way I’m letting you walk that far in this cold... wait, you had a car though ?” grandma : “Your grandfather yes, it is still in the garage. I don’t drive, but you could drive me ? But you have to wait in the car while I’m at the high school” y/n. : “deal” she smiled

After breakfast, they went to the garage. y/n kept smiling, because she knew she was going to drive her grandfather’s car. When the garage door opened up completely, the light unraveled a beautiful red Chevrolet Camaro SS 1967. Both ladies got into the car, and y/n started it. The sound of the motor sounded like a lion, and g/n giggled, as she looked at her grandchild she said : “I almost forgot how much noise this machine makes” They both laughed and went to the High school. The car hasn't been out since the passing of grandpa, but of one of g/n’s neighbors kept checking it, so it wouldn’t rot.

grandma : “you know y/n, you’re almost an adult now. You can take this car whenever you need it.” y/n : “what?! no I can’t accept that nana...” grandma : “listen darling, I’m not driving it. It has been rotting in the garage for the past few years. Use it. Your grandfather would rather have you driving it, than have it sleeping in the garage.”

y/n nodded, and gave a look of gratitude to her grandma. They finally arrived at highschool, and y/n parked the car. While her grandma went inside, y/n looked at the car in more details, when she heard some voices further away :

“- no this is not how a dragon looks like !!! - then if you’re smarter, draw it instead !!!!”

She noticed 2 kids arguing about in front of a door, further away from her, with big papers in their hands. One of them was tall and skinny and had a black mullet, and the other one was smaller, and had curly hair and a cap. But y/n noticed they both had matching t-shirts under their jackets. She couldn’t see exactly what was written on it from where she was...

“-dude, you were supposed to have this poster finished !! - yeah, but it was until you told me it look garbage ! - I never said that !! - uhm... hi, you need help for a drawing ?”

The 2 kids haven’t noticed y/n getting out of the car and coming at them, they looked at her at the same time, and their jaw dropped. They never saw a girl as cool as her : she had her hair slightly teased, but cascading on her shoulders, a little bit of eye makeup, jeans, boots, and a leather jacket covered in band patches and pins. All of her outfit black. Mike and Dustin kept looking at her, not knowing what to say. 

y/n giggled and said “hello earth?” mike : “y-yeah sorry, uhm help for what?” his cheeks were pink y/n : “apparently you have a problem with that poster. I draw, so if you need some reference, I can show you.” dustin : “uh... y-yeah, I think I got the dragon wrong” his cheeks were reddish y/n : “can I see ?” she said smiling

Dustin gave her the poster, gulping. y/n unrolled it and looked at it for a few seconds.

y/n : “Hellfire Club ?” Mike : “y-yes... it is a DnD club”, he said scratching the back of his neck y/n : “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of that game.. but I never played. It’s role-play, right ?”

Mike and Dustin almost collapsed right there. Not only they had a girl talking to them, offering to help, but also she was FREAKIN COOL and she knew about DnD !!!!

Dustin :”Uhh...Y-yeah that’s it ! People think we are a cult, but it’s not true.” y/n : “Ah... people talking bullshit. Ignore them”. She said smiling. “I can draw a model for your dragon real quick, and then you can copy it. Okay ?” Dustin : “that would be very kind of you” he said smiling like an idiot. y/n : “do you have something to draw ?”

Dustin quickly grabbed some paper and a pencil from his backpack and gave it to y/n. She went back to the car with the boys, and starting doodling the shape of a dragon on the hood of the car. The young boys remained silent as she was tracing the outlines of her sketch. Until Mike decided to speak :

Mike : “We...we’ve never saw you there before ?” y/n : “No, I’m from Virginia. I moved here yesterday at my grandma’s, and I’ll start in this high school in a few days” she said pointing at the school with her pencil Dustin : “Oh really ??? We also go to Hawkins High !” he said enthusiastically y/n : “oh yeah ? so cool ! at least I’ll know 2 people from here” she said with a smile and a wink “What’s your names ?” Mike. : “Mike... Mike Wheeler” Dustin : “Dustin Henderson, m’lady”  y/n giggled : “Nice to meet you boys, I’m y/n l/n.” She continued sketching while smiling “I finished your sketch. You can trace or copy it, whatever you want.” she said as she handed the paper to Dustin. 

Dustin took it and looked mesmerized by it. She drew this masterpiece in a few minutes?? and she called it a sketch??

y/n’s grandma came out of the high school with papers in her hand, when y/n stood up straight.

y/n : “sorry I have to go, my grandma finished here. But I guess I’ll see you at school in a couple of days ?” Mike : “Y-yes ! we would love to !” Dustin : “Do not hesitate to come say hi !” y/n, giggling : “haha... yes I will. See you later, Mike, Dustin !”

She ran off to her grandma while waving to the boys. The boys walked up to the door, where they were before, while exchanging some knowing looks. As y/n got inside the car, and left the parking lot, the boys kept staring at her.

Dustin : “what in the hell ?” Mike : “Eddie is never going to believe us.” Dustin : “Wait until he sees her !” Mike, giggling : “I bet he’ll cream his pants”

They high fived.

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; 5

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 4.3k+

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s |  another friends reference because i always find a way to put it in my writings lol

note | finally updated after two months! thank you for your patience. asks are open for any question :)) let me know your thoughts! enjoy reading!

main masterlist | series masterlist  |  previous |

7:48 PM

Jimin eyed the clock placed above the entrance while sitting on of the empty chairs at the bakery. He tried stopping the unconscious up and down of his knees when he noticed how stressed he was doing it. 

It has been almost two hours since Taehyung left to do the shopping for their ingredients for tomorrow. He told him that he will only be gone for an hour. But obviously, his best friend already went past the said duration. So, he cannot stop himself staring outside the glass walls of the bakery, hoping that Taehyung would show up. He did text him that he will be a few minutes late. But he did not expect it to be something near the shop’s closing time which is just twelve minutes from now. He looked down his phone again, hoping for a message, when the entrance bell clung.

“Hey…” Taehyung greeted as he walked inside with two large, black grocery bags.in his hands.

“What took you so–”

 “Oh, wait…” Taehyung cuts Jimin off, distracted. “Let me get inside first before you say anything.”

He was struggling to push himself in with both of his hands occupied. So, Jimin walked to him and held the handle of the door. His eyes silently followed Taehyung and soon followed him on his feet when he sees him entering their kitchen. Taehyung carefully dropped the bag to their now-cleaned large work table.

“What are these?” Jimin asked as he went through the ingredients Taehyung bought. “I gave you a list, right?”

Taehyung still focused on getting the things out of the bag, answered, “Yep. That is my bag. Your ingredients are in the other one.”

Jimin nodded and checked to the said other bag. He prepared his ingredients for tomorrow. He was finishing with his when he noticed Taehyung’s sets of ingredients.

“Are you making cheesecake for tomorrow?” he asked while scanning everything on the table.

“Nope, it’s for the weekends,” Taehyung replied with a small grin.

“Oh, okay,” Jimin said with a suspicious tone.

He squinted his eyes, observing his best friend who is still in a good mood. Taehyung normally chose to do quick pastries and pieces of bread for the bakery. He only does particular types of dessert when there is a special order or event. So, the moment he answered, Jimin already knew something was up.

“Why?” Jimin asked again.

Taehyung looked up at him with a wider grin, “Someone I know is coming down here.”

“Who?”

“Lily.”

His eyes widened when he heard the name, “Lily? Like your ex-girlfriend, Lily?”

Taehyung smiled while his eyes sparkled. Jimin took this as an answer. Even though he is still in shock, he asked the first thing he thought of.

“Does Y/N knows?”

And when Taehyung’s hand almost dropped a box of cream cheese as his eyes avoided Jimin’s, he knows. There was a long time of uncomfortable silence and still, Jimin had another question going inside his headspace.

“What the hell happened in the last two hours?”

Instead of walking to the baking supplies shop, he slid the paper back into his pants pockets and walked into the said salon.

The first one to greet Taehyung was the empty front desk. The name of the hair salon was plastered on the plain white wall in big black bold letters. He wandered his eyes more around the place, noticing the plenty amount of plants places everywhere. He also see a couple of customers getting their hair done while the hairdressers remained busy.

Taehyung knew he was just trying his luck here. He does not even know what Lily is supposed to do in this salon from the time he saw her. He thought, maybe he will just ask someone here about her just to get some information. Just to reach out to her again. One of the hairdressers noticed Taehyung standing and wandering his eyes around like a curious kid. 

“Oh, honey. We have a new customer here. Can you still stay for an hour?”

Taehyung was about to say that he was just looking for someone when a voice quickly answered from the other room.

“Oh, no, I won’t be offering my service anymore for today.”

The moment he heard that voice, his brain quickly recognized who it was like an automatic response. Lily walked out behind the white curtains as she talked to her workmate, still not noticing Taehyung who stood there in silence. She still fits the last recollection of her Taehyung have, except her hair color. From a medium brown shade, it was dyed into a pastel purple. It was put on a loose bun.

“I still need to pick Leehyun from–” She paused when her light brown eyes met Taehyung’s dark ones. 

Her brows drew together as she squints her eyes like she was trying to identify him. Before Taehyung finishes mentally counting to five, Lily’s posture stiffened like a pail of ice-cold water was poured on her head. Taehyung tried to understand why she reacted like he was a ghost in front of her. His heart pounds as the mixed emotions of shock and confusion from Lily kind of scared him with what happened the last five years.

“Taehyung?” she called his name with an unsure tone when she walked closer to his place.

“Hey…” Taehyung responded, almost breathless. “Lily.”

For the first time in weeks, her name rolled out of his tongue again. It removed a very little weight off his shoulders since he avoided bringing her up to anyone around him: Jimin and you. He always remembered your face when he first woke up in the hospital and mistaken you for Lily. He just does not know how you will react if he asks you about his past, especially Lily.

“What… What are you doing here? How are you?”

Taehyung let out a relieved sigh when Lily asked him with a bit of excitement in her tone. Although there was still uncertainty.

“I am fine,” he replied. “The color suits you.”

“The color?” Lily repeated one brow raising. Taehyung shyly pointed at her hair and she awkwardly giggled. “Ah, yeah. I kind of experimented with it on myself. Thank you. I appreciate it.”

He nodded and another moment of silence passed by again. Taehyung was trying to meet her eyes again but she was obviously avoiding it by looking up anywhere except his gaze. It was unlike her, he thought. After a whole minute of fidgeting her fingers, Lily cleared her throat.

“So, uhm, what brought you here? Haircut? New hair color? We actually offer–”

“I was actually wondering if I can talk to you?” he cuts her off before biting his inner cheek.

“About what?”

“Us.” Taehyung waited for no seconds before answering. Before Lily could react, he gulped and spoke out, “I actually do not remember what happened the last five years since I got into a car accident last month. So, I am trying to–”

“Car accident?!” Lily exclaimed, catching the attention of everyone in the salon. It took her seconds to look behind her and apologize. She turned back at him, “Let’s go outside. Just let me get my things.”

He nodded as a reply. Just a couple of minutes later, they were walking on the sidewalks, not too far from the salon. Taehyung thought she meant that they were just going to talk outside the hair salon literally. But obviously, he was wrong. There was a near playground which was already empty. Lily pointed her index finger on one of the stone benches.

“Let’s take the seat there.”

They did, keeping a proper distance between them. Lily placed her bag on the said space and she took a quick peek on her phone, checking the time. After that, she looked back at Taehyung with an apologetic smile.

“We kinda need to talk quick. I am meeting someone in like five minutes,” she told him. “So… what happened?”

Knowing how she does not like stories with many substories in them, Taehyung just went straight to the point by saying:

“Car accident. They said a drunk driver hit my car at the intersection near the hospital. I was in a coma for almost four days. The other guy is currently in jail.”

Lily’s stare screams worry even though she won’t say it, “And you? How are you?”

“Well, I got a few scratches on my face and…” Taehyung paused, looking away.

“And?”

“Amnesia.” 

He glanced back at her, finally seeing her confused expression. She bit her inner cheek as she processes what she heard.

“Like, you forgot things?” she repeated and Taehyung nodded. “But, you know me. right now. You know me. Right?”

“That’s the thing.” Taehyung looked down at his shoes. “It is a selective type of amnesia. I remember everything except the last five years. I still know my childhood, my college graduation, and hell, even some recipes.”

He shakes his head as he huffed. The hefty weight of frustration he felt ever since he woke up in that hospital almost jumped out his words. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at Lily again, “My last memories were Jimin, the first seven days of our newly opened bakeshop, and you.”

“Oh…” Lily nodded her head slowly. “So… you still remember us?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, no.” 

Lily ran her palms all over her face, sounding tenser and scared at the same time. Taehyung simply watched her having an internal mess. Thoughts were starting to come inside his head again. He wonders if he is doing the right thing, talking to his girl– ex again about this topic instead of discussing it with you. His current girlfriend. But at the same time, at this point, he knew Lily more and he knows she knows him well too.

“So, you came to me to know what happened?” Lily guessed. He bobbed his head up and down. “Well, the thing is we–”

A ring from her bag interrupted her. She reached for her phone and hurriedly stood up. The phone still ringing in her hand, she turned to Taehyung.

“I am sorry. I really need to go now.”

Taehyung left his seat too, “C-Can we talk at the other time?”

“Yeah, sure. How about this weekend? I am free.” she recommends, looking from her phone to him repeatedly.

“Oh, okay. Where?” He hoped Lily did not notice the excitement in him especially when he almost smiled ear to ear.

“Your bakeshop or somewhere? We can message each for the other details.”

Taehyung handed her his phone and she quickly typed her number. As soon as she was done, she bid her goodbye after giving him a gentle pat on the arm. 

“It was nice seeing you again, Taehyung.” her lips formed a tight smile.

Taehyung watched while she made her way to the nearest bus stop. He waited for him to maybe look back before she got on the bus. But she did not. 

Nonetheless, he made his own way back to The Baking Warehouse with a smile that made him look like a fool.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

“Oh, I thought it is going to be an early bridal shower?”

You spoke before taking a sip from your warm coffee in the paper cup. The bitter but strong dark liquid felt like an alarm clock in your whole system, waking up your tired mind and eyes. You needed it. It was your turn for the twelve-hour night shift and having yourself back to work just five days ago, your body was all foreign to this change with your sleep schedule.

“Did I say that?” Jisoo raised her head from the table she was resting her head on.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well, I was wrong.” she stopped and covered her mouth as she yawned. “I found out that it is going to be a bachelorette party. I always mix the ideas between the two things. Anyways,  it was probably the main reason why my cousins were so eager to plan this whole thing. You know how crazy they can get.”

You giggled, remembering the first time you met them. You have known them almost the same time you knew Jisoo since she invited you to one of their night outs just weeks after meeting you. They instantly welcomed you like a family member. They are like a bunch of extroverted people joined together. They brought you to a few bars too, introducing drinks you never thought existed since you do not really drink a lot. You, Jisoo, and her other cousin, who they said avoided drinking since she had a kid, would usually take the other back to their homes. The last time you joined them was like eight months ago, it was Yoonji’s birthday.

“Saeron already sent out the details in your e-mail. They want to surprise me so I do not have any clue about the party,” she added, standing up to get herself a coffee. “I just told them don’t be too wild. I don’t want any male stripper or dancer.”

You nodded as you focused your eyes on your phone screen to browse your e-mails. The latest one you received was from her cousin. While Jisoo is busy preparing her coffee, you read the whole thing. 

“It will be a whole night event, huh?” you spoke out when you read the time of the party.

“Ah, yes. That’s the only thing I know.”

Based on the sent e-mail, the bachelorette party will be celebrated like a night out except a scavenger hunt has been added. The list for the game will be revealed on the same night. Everyone at the bridal party must wear anything black. Only Jisoo, the soon-to-be bride, must wear something white to make her stand out. The said party is this coming Saturday. It’s tomorrow.

“Will Namjoon has his bachelor party on the same night?” you asked, out of curiousness.

“They will have it on Sunday. His brother said that’s the only day they can get anyone together.” Jisoo sat back on the chair in front of you, playing with the stirrer in her cup. She took a small sip from it before looking at you. “Isn’t Taehyung invited to that? He is one of the groomsmen.”

Your gaze moved downward, on your coffee again,  “I don’t know… We don’t really get to talk much after I began working again and him with the bakeshop.”

Before the accident, Taehyung would often leave the bakeshop at the same time your shift would finish. So, he can pick you up at the hospital and you two can still have the time to bond before resting for the day. But now, he would get home late or maybe you thought because you will always end up really tired after you got home. You will immediately fall asleep on your bed after cleaning yourself up, not meeting him until the next day. In the morning, you already did your routine and breakfast whale Taehyung was just getting ready for his day. You would try to have a short conversation with him about his past day or today’s plan. He would answer the same thing with a smile and would continue eating his breakfast while you say goodbye with a wave before walking out the door. So yeah, you did not really get to talk much. It has only been days since you got back to your ‘normal’ routines but it was starting to feel like reconnecting with Taehyung will be harder again. 

But since your shift was moved to the evening, you had a chance to eat breakfast together. He told stories about his day in the bakeshop, in which he met students who they said he used to know. You smiled as you knew he was enjoying doing his passion again. After that, you two got nothing to talk about except you reminded him that you will have a night shift and would go back home in the morning. You noticed him distracted with his phone, checking it every five minutes. But you thought nothing much of it.

“How are you two by the way? I mean, before this week happened. Was there any improvement?”

“Uh… yeah.” you shifted from your seat. “We do some things together. Like watching movies, eating, and maybe having tea late at night when both of us cannot sleep. He would sometimes ask about things he don’t understand or when he would forget his Netflix profile’s password. We only went out once. Then, he bought me a pearl ring which matches the earrings I have. So I guess, we are getting better.” you put on a small smile.

“That’s great.” Jisoo reached for your hand on the table and squeezed it. “And how are you?”

“Fine. I do have some trouble sleeping sometimes. But, I’m okay.” you replied, meeting your friend’s eyes. “Things are getting better. Right?”

She nodded and smiled back at you. You brushed away the small tears you felt before they trickle down your cheeks. You looked up and drink the remaining coffee from your cup. 

4:48 AM

Your last break for this shift is finishing in two minutes. So, you cleaned up and fixed your loosening hair bun. Jisoo does the same. 

You spent the next hours doing your duties. There would always be the same scenarios every time you enter the pediatric ward or the private rooms. It can be tired parents who will greet you with small smiles while their children are asleep, a few would ask you some information about the hospital or their kids’ status. It can also be mothers who are feeding their newborn babies or putting them to sleep. You always thought being a nurse can be a rollercoaster ride. One minute, you were smiling out of a wholesome moment. Then suddenly, you will meet this other patient and feel sorry for them and their family. Your two hours went by like that.

After you changed clothes from your scrubs, you took the bus alone since Jisoo still have an hour before her shift ends. You just sent her a text message to let her know while you were waiting at the bus stop. The whole ride home was like a blur. You were fighting for your tired eyes from shutting down every two minutes. You even saw it as an achievement when you still managed to walk yourself to your house’s front door and open it after rummaging with your keys.

“I’m home,” you mumbled while pushing your shoes from your feet. 

No one answered. You eyed your wristwatch. 7:48 AM. You thought Taehyung already went to the bakeshop. You checked your phone to see if he texted you about it. Nothing. So, you just dragged your feet to your room, dropped your bag on the linoleum floor, and pushed your body on the soft surface of your loving bed.

“So, Lily is coming here tomorrow?”

Jimin repeated what he remembers. Taehyung nodded as he mopped on the black and white floor tiles of the shop. They will be closing in an hour and they took the vacant time to clean up.

“Tomorrow, 4PM,” he added.

His best friend, who tried to not make his coming question awkward again, wiped the tables and asked, “Have you told Y/N yet?”

Unlike the last time, Taehyung replied with a certain tone, “Do I have to tell her?”

“Maybe…” Jimin murmured before looking at him. “Maybe she should know about it?”

“I don’t know…”  Taehyung’s lips formed a thin line. “I don’t really think that it’s necessary. I mean, I am not doing anything wrong. Right?”

Jimin did not answer further. Instead, he acted like did not hear him and walked back to the kitchen. Taehyung stopped from what he was doing and placed his hands on his hips.

“Right, Jimin?” he repeated. This time, sounding more unsure.

“I don’t know, Tae. I honestly don’t. I just thought maybe Y/N should know about it. She will likely be cool with it.”

Although Jimin’s voice was soft and a bit persuasive, Taehyung still remained undecided if he should tell you. He was actually planning to keep it to himself ever since he and Lily agreed to meet. He had reasons. Mainly, he does not see the point of telling you.

“Anyways, we can close now. Bring that mop back where you got it.”

Taehyung followed what his friend said. Twenty minutes later, they were leaving the shop. Jimin’s apartment is just a ten-minute walk from the bakeshop while Taehyung still has to ride a bus. On his third day getting back to work, he managed to convince Jimin to let him go home alone. Taehyung crossed the road to the bus stop where a bus was already waiting. He gave a simple wave to his friend, who nodded before walking ahead.

Luckily, there were still empty seats. Taehyung sat on the back of the bus, near the window. He is getting used to the changes he noticed before.  Getting back to your shared home is not that hard, the directions were easy to remember and not that complicated. He was getting off the bus when he spotted a familiar person walking away from the near 7-11.

You held a plastic bag in your hand. Like a kid, you lazily swayed your arm as you strolled back home under the streetlights. You did not even notice Taehyung following you from afar. He just remembered that you had a night shift. Just as when you were about to turn to your street, he decided to catch up with you. He jogged a little and called you,

“Y/N!”

You immediately turned around, both eyebrows raised, “Oh, hey.”

“How was your day?” 

You began the conversation with the question Taehyung hears from you every day. He is starting to think that it is part of your routine. He even wonders if you ask everyone that question. Maybe you just start conversations like that.

“Same thing,” he answered, tucking his hands in his pockets. “Except we closed earlier.”

He does not really have much to tell. The same thing happens to him every day. He will bake, clean up, and maybe chat with a few customers. Some of them are even students. Sometimes, he would be confused with their stories especially when they started it with the phrase: “Do you remember when…”

“That’s nice…” you responded. Before he can feel silence take over you two again, you cleared your throat. “Well, me… I was craving Cup Noodles and chocolate. So, I bought a few. You want some noodles?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure,” he replied before pursing his lips. “What time did you come home?”

You two were now standing on your front door. He opened the door with his keys and you mumbled a small thank you as you got in.

“Around eight, I think. I was too sleep-deprived that I slept as soon as I got in my room.” you chuckled, going straight to the kitchen. “I’ll prepare the noodles. Can you put something to watch on the TV?”

He nods and went into the living room. He clicked on the Netflix button on the remote control. He just chose the first series he saw. He just watched the first five minutes of an episode when you called him from the kitchen. You handed him his cup of noodles and both of you carefully made your way to your living room, avoiding spilling the hot liquid everywhere. You sighed in relief as you sat down on the couch.

“I slept through breakfast and noon. So, this is my first meal today.” you snorted and began eating your noodles. You looked up to the screen and noticed what was playing, “Oh, I never finished this series. I was too busy to finish it.”

“Well, you can continue it now. I already watched the whole ten seasons of it anyway,” he stated. “What was your last episode?” 

“I think it was when…” your voice trailed off when you got distracted scrolling on the episode list of the series. “Here!”

“Oh, this episode…” Taehyung squints his eyes while nodding. “This sparks debates, you know?”

You laughed, “Yeah, one of the reasons why I became curious about this series.”

“Look, I didn’t think there was a relationship to jeopardize. I thought we were broken up.”

“We were on a break!”

“He should have just told Rachel about the whole thing,” you spoke out with your mouth full.

Taehyung paused and eyed you, “But, they were on a break. Ross thought that they were already broken up.”

“Yeah, he did.” you put your finished cup on the center table. “But he wanted to get back with her, didn’t he?”

“Yes.” he gave a simple nod. “Ross slept with the other girl after Rachel that they should take a break without clearing it up. I don’t think it’s the wrong thing to do. He was confused.”

“Again, yeah. She did not clear it up. She was confused too. They were both confused. But, if it’s not the wrong thing to do, then why did Ross try to stop the news from reaching Rachel?”

You cocked your head to him. Taehyung was about to say something. But just closed his lips. He wanted to give a reason. But he cannot think of any.  

“Because he knew himself that it was wrong. He knew that he should not have slept with that girl from the copy place,” you smirked, knowing you won. “Plus, if he really wants to make his new relationship with Rachel work, he should start with being honest with her. We all want honesty, right?”

Hearing that, Taehyung immediately thought of Lily and their scheduled meet-up tomorrow. He can tell how you value honesty just by the way you defend your take on this famous ‘we were on a break’ debate. He swallowed an imaginary lump forming in his throat before asking,

“Even if  the truth hurts?”

You nodded, “Even if the truth hurts, at least you told the truth. It’s part of communicating in a relationship. ”

The use of the pronoun made it seem like you were urging him to say what he has been keeping. He felt a tight knot in his stomach. Suddenly, you let out a chuckle.

“Whatever. I am cleaning up. I still have to find ways to fix my sleep schedule.”

You got up, picking up the two empty Cup Noodles on the center table. It leaves Taehyung alone on the couch, thinking about his decision while FRIENDS plays in the background.

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST

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PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @victoryscreech61 @moonchild1 @jksjx

[naruhearts]

I’m done keeping my composure.

Sorry, this will be a LOADED post! (And I’ll be repeating the points others have made)

for real, to everyone being nasty and telling heartbroken fans that “Dean was always supposed to die get a grip you’re just butthurt etcetera etcetera—” F you royally.

How dare you police the brutal feelings that’s been embroiling us since the Finale That Must Not Be Named aired. 

The show you think you all watched, the show you all believe was the same SPN from Season 1-4, changed at some point. Kripke wrote his original vision, put it to screen, saw it through in S5 as he intended, and closed the door on that era.

In 2008, Supernatural was adopted and inherited. As you know, there was a supreme paradigm shift post-Kripke era. The show FLOURISHED (we won’t talk about Gamble thanks). It evolved, transformed, grew beyond trauma-induced self-worthlessness and toxic masculinity and endless death and hegemonic social ideals and conservatism and repressive anti-revolutionary ideas. Castiel, the iconic favourite and beloved staple of the series portrayed by Misha Collins, was introduced in Season 4 as the core lead character, and he ushered in a brand new era of Christian mythos that SPN took advantage of. Longevity SKYROCKETED. Audiences were INTERESTED. SPN amassed an incredibly groundbreaking fanbase infused by non-nuclear principles. A massive subversive wave began, fighting the Status Quo of the times since 2008. It’s precisely why such an abysmal ending to a show of extensive Freud-Jungian metanarratively meta META complex stature and social POWER will render us totally and unbearably broken for years to come.

Point is, DEAN WINCHESTER NO LONGER WANTED TO DIE. HE WANTED TO LIVE. HE WANTED TO SIT ON THE BEACH, PLUNGE HIS TOES IN THE SAND, AND SIP UMBRELLA DRINKS WITH HIS BROTHER AND HIS BEST FRIEND. He said this in Season 13. And then, a season later, he told the ghost of his long-deceased father — the source of his deep-running trauma and the figure of self-reductive authoritarianism permeating his arc since Season 1 — after being questioned why he didn’t pursue the Nuclear Fam, that he already has his own: his brother Sam, his adopted child Jack, and Cas.

Dean’s best friend Cas. Oh god, Cas, who made his inevitably permanent mark on Dean’s soul beyond allyship. Castiel, renamed to Cas, God’s -iel removed by Dean. Dean, the human spark that lit the fire of pre-existing autonomy in the inherently rebellious angel who was, this entire time, the catalyst for free will in God The Writer’s puppet show. Their friendship set on goddamn fire. I can also write paragraph upon paragraph about my love for Cas while devastated tears stream down my face, but I digress—

Cas’ romantic love for Dean pushed our main Heart of SPN to love himself. Love is free will. Free will is also love. Of note, Cas’ love confession in 15x18 was supposed to offset something so vastly important and fundamental...to maybe (read: most likely) pull the trigger on SELF-TRUTHS in conjunction with free will. And The Great Anticipated Follow-Up to the episode penned by the passionate Berens should have included (read: seemed like it was going to be) Dean, closeted trauma survivor in love with his best friend, being given the opportunity to do it right: to SPEAK HIS TRUTH, and then that very singular opportunity was STOLEN so grossly. After poring over it for days, I refuse to believe we made their years-long story up out of thin air, spun it out of fantastical-delusional dream cotton candy, because we DIDN’T. IT WAS REAL.

As I said in another post: “I’ve just been feeling physically ill for the past >40 something hours with the terrible knowledge that 19/20 undid years of vital progression towards healthy interdependence, autonomy, and a positive endgame, where Sam, Dean and Cas close the ring of found family in final empowering self-fulfillment...where Dean, no longer repressed and set free, is able to use his words and speak his truth as a queercoded trauma survivor, henceforth confirming and self-affirming his own bisexuality since S1 by reciprocating — by telling Cas that he always loved him, too, loved him endlessly, which would have altogether divested Supernatural of its cult status and catapulted it into global worldwide significance as the longest running sci-fi genre show in American broadcasting history that actually dared to defy and, by proxy, empower LGBTQ2IA+ everywhere who found profound personal meaning in Destiel through VALIDATION,” — found themselves mirrored in Dean and Cas’ respective character journeys individually and as each other’s queer love interests.

THIS IS WHY DEAN WASN’T MEANT TO DIE.

THEY WERE SO ESSENTIAL, NOT JUST TO THE OVERARCHING STORY AND HEALTHY INTERPERSONAL THEMATICS OF MODERN SPN, BUT ALSO TO THE SOULS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD WHO FOLLOWED THEIR JOURNEYS, HOPED FOR THEM, ASPIRED TO BE LIKE THEM, TREASURED THEM, WEEPED FOR THEM, AND FOUGHT FOR THEM, LIKE YOU AND ME.

Heck, how could anyone think Sam Winchester had a well-deserved characteristic ending? He didn’t. Dean’s brother was shafted so badly. He stopped hunting when seasons ago, he had canonically accepted that he no longer wanted an apple pie life. He simply...turned the lights off in a resoundingly empty bunker and left — abandoning his dead brother’s room — never to return (he did return later to get the Impala, family photos etc, I mean this symbolically)...as if — dare I say it — Supernatural itself eerily told us, in the negative-spaced pitch blackness, that the organic show and the wonderfully complex, matured characters we’ve grown to love weren’t going to survive or be revisited...that it was all going to perish, and that they no longer gave a single shit about their own show, which, to me, is the worst cardinal sin, because how dare they throw Team Free Will, an immovable and indomitable and passionate found family they built from the ground up, a found family CHOCK FULL TO THE BRIM OF LOVE AND LIFE RAGING AGAINST THE AUTHORITARIAN MACHINE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE FREE WILL, under the bus no matter who is to blame. Growth was stomped on.

Then Sam married a faceless wife who wasn’t his textually established (and deaf) love interest Eileen, named his son Dean Jr., and grew old miserably, still mourning the passing of his older brother, shaken and sombre. Back to square one. IT WAS ALL ANTITHETICAL, even OUTSIDE a shipping context, and I ripped my hair out at this point in sheer disbelief.

This 15x20 ending would have fit somewhere between S4-7. Now? IT DOESN’T FIT. IT’S A JAGGED PUZZLE PIECE THAT DOESN’T BELONG ANYWHERE. IT’S THE FOREBODING UNKNOWN STRANGER IN ITS OWN LAND, BOTH LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY. This kind of ending was basically an illogical, unsound cluster of metastasized cells that, to me, ruined the viability of previous seasons to sustain bold praise and respect and dignity and rewatches and classic nostalgia in such insidious ways.

Dean Humanity Winchester and Cas, after everything they’ve been through, were silenced and lost in death, ripped apart from each other, unable to love each other the way they deserved, because of disappointing, vile incompetency and homophobia. The greatest love story ever told, again obliterated in less than 60 hollow minutes.

You know what this tells your audience, CW SPN? Death without self-growth is the way to go, and no one is allowed to forge their own path to freedom.

HOW INSULTINGLY HARMFUL IS THAT?

I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving.

We all deserve answers.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

I Stayed There - Eugene Sledge x OFC

Chapter 9 - No One’s Gonna Take Your Place

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 /// Chapter 10

Summary: At Mary and Sidney’s wedding reception, Anna contemplates her relationships and what to do next

Warnings: Alcohol consumption 

Word Count: 3k

Tags: @cagzzz107 Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

A/N: Character's names in bold italics indicate a change in POV

A/N 2: Sorry this chapter took so long! I was on holiday and when I got back I had really bad writer’s block, but here it is!

-

Eugene

The reception was booming - bustling with guests as a band played merrily across the yard. Per Mary’s vision, we’d set up in the grounds of Anna’s house, the sprawling field out back providing far more space than anyone else’s homes could offer. Round tables and wicker chairs were dotted across the lawn, candles burning upon white tablecloths acting as beacon’s in the evening’s dying light, and Anna had hung lanterns in the nearby trees so that the whole scene was basked in a warm glow. 

I could see Mary across the yard, dressed all in white, her veil discarded on a chair by the back door. She was talking to some of her bridesmaids - a few I recognised from our days at school, a few unfamiliar to me, and among them Anna was stood - champagne flute in hand, laughing dutifully along with whatever was being said. She was draped in pale yellow, almost the same shade as her hair, which was pinned up prettily out of the way. I had long since noted the way she avoided looking at me all throughout the service, her hands clasped in her lap as she sat alongside her fiancé. I supposed that was fair. Kissing her had been reckless, disrespectful. She was sworn to marry Hank Wharton, and that was that, but I struggled to tell if my actions had been a way of seeding discord, or a seizing of the last chance I had to do what I should’ve done years ago before she was out of my reach forever - before she was married, and I was put to work constructing the inevitable wall between us that would never allow for us to be anything more but friends. 

Because the truth was, I should’ve kissed her years ago. I knew that now. She should’ve been my first kiss as a clueless boy outside the cinema that Thursday night all those years ago. I should’ve kissed her in that snow drift, should’ve kissed her in the lake, the wet fabric of her dress clutched between my fingers, the warmth of her body pressed against my front. She should’ve been the person I kissed goodbye before I left for the Pacific, and the first lips mine touched when I got back. Years and years of missed opportunities stacked atop each other and pulled me down, my whole body feeling heavy with the weight of all I should’ve done, with all I now could never do again. 

She looked up briefly, and our eyes met for an accidental moment, her gaze reaching mine before shrinking away, as if even looking my way had become illicit. 

I took a sip of my drink, letting my gaze drift away from her before I felt a hand brush against my shoulder, a warm voice speak my name.

“Eugene?” I turned towards the voice, brow furrowed for a moment at the woman standing before me. She seemed all at once familiar and entirely foreign to me, as if lodged somewhere in the long-forgotten crevices of my memory. She was clearly my age, but it wasn’t until I tried to imagine her looking younger that the pieces fell into place. 

“Grace? Grace Andre?”

“There it is,” Grace grinned, her ginger hair bobbing around her shoulders as she nodded. “Wasn’t sure you’d recognise me, it’s been a long time.”

“It has,” I agreed. “Did Mary invite you?”

“Oh, yeah, we’ve stayed friends since high school. I only live a couple hours drive from here now, so I’m in town for the weekend. I can’t seem to get Anna to talk to me though, is she still mad about the Valedictorian thing?”

“Honestly? Probably,” I chuckled, trying not to let it show as I was suddenly shaken by the realisation that Anna had never made it to college despite her ambition to as a teenager. That life had never relented in its efforts to get in the way of what she wanted. “I’m sure she’s just busy.” 

I enjoyed talking to Grace. I could count the number of times we’d spoken back in school on one hand, and it was hard to feel like I hadn’t been missing out. She was funny, smart, and refilled our glasses at always exactly the right time. She’d grown into her face, and was much prettier than I had remembered. Suddenly I felt less alone than I had, watching Anna across the lawn.

-

Anna

“Is that Grace over there, with Eugene?” I asked Mary, lifting a hand to my mouth as I spoke around my cake.

“Mhm,” She nodded, twirling a fork between her fingers. “You didn’t see her at the reception? She asked me about you, I think she wanted to say hi.”

I paused, then shrugged. “She didn’t find me.”

“You’re not still upset over her beating you for valedictorian, are you?” Mary teased, side-eyeing me as a grin began to spread across her cheeks. 

“No!” I protested. 

But as I looked over the party - Grace Andre across the lawn on my left, Mary Phillips sat on my right - it was as if they came together as an amalgamation of all my childhood dreams that I never realised. 

What were the three things I’d really wanted as a child? To be pretty, to be smart, to be noticed. And yet, as I sat as a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding, it felt as if our positions were cosmically pre-determined. There’d never been a doubt in my mind all my life that Mary would be a beautiful, blushing bride, and that I’d be by her side when it happened. It just never occurred to me that my own relationship would be crumbling miserably at the same time, and that my fiancé himself wouldn’t even have a clue. That the first man I ever got to love me back was right in front of me and I couldn’t even look at him without wanting to cry for the guilt, the knowledge that what I was doing to him was cruel and unfair. 

And there was Grace. Maybe I did resent her? We had been friends, real friends, years ago. But now maybe all she was to me was a reminder that the girls I’d grown up with all moved on and blossomed and I stayed, withering in the dirt. I’d wanted to go to college, god I’d wanted it so bad back then. But then my brother died, and what kind of daughter would I have been if I hadn’t stayed? If I hadn’t put my own ambition on hold to be there for what family I had left? But now it had been too long. Everyone moved on. Surely it would be childish to stand up and complain about my missed opportunities when my brothers were gone and Eugene had come home with horrors haunting his mind that made him wake up in a cold sweat each night. 

There was no space left in our little society for what I wanted. I had to be content, otherwise I was ungrateful. I had to push myself forward and become a banker’s wife, dreading the day I had to tell him that I would never give him the children he probably wanted, perhaps yearning for the next time Eugene would kiss me behind Hank’s back.

Is that what we would become? The kind of people who talk all friendly in public and keep the affair going when her husband is out of town? Would I ever let myself lie to anyone in that way? Was I already doing it? 

Thinking about having an affair away from a man I wasn’t even married to yet made me want to be sick. I could hardly bear to take another sip of my champagne, its taste suddenly sour on my tongue. 

You’re a liar. You’re a bad person. 

How could I even know why Eugene kissed me in the first place? Was it because he wanted to, or because he was desperate and scared and needed something real to dispel the horrors in his head. Was I constructing an exit strategy based on feelings that didn’t even exist?

I glanced over to him, chatting pleasantly with Grace, the glass in his hand barely more than a prop - he didn’t down it swiftly like he did when he was with me the night before. Grace was pretty, prettier than she had been last time I saw her. She’d grown into her face over the years - her cheekbones were sharper, eyes brighter, hair falling into place without the appearance that she was ever really trying. Surely he could see that too. I wouldn’t blame him for it. 

And then there was Hank. Good, regular Hank, sat around a table on the other side of the lawn as he spoke warmly to the men around him, each clearly old enough to be his father. He kept very little company his own age, I noticed. Perhaps it was out of a desire to look wiser than his years, more sophisticated than they would expect. Except I found I did not expect much of him at all, even despite his gentle smiles, his sweet words and professions of love. I found that the mere idea of joining his group made me feel weary, as if I could fall asleep right where I sat. 

I turned to Mary. She was talking to one of the other bridesmaids. “Hey,” I said, and her gaze was instantly pulled to mine. Reaching into the middle of the table, I grabbed a bottle of God knows what. “Wanna go get drunk in my bedroom like we used to?”

She grinned. 

-

Eugene

The sky darkened above us as I talked to Grace, gradually noticing the shiver in her arms, the goosebumps rising on her skin. “Here, take this,” I offered, shrugging of my jacket and holding it out to her. 

“Oh. Thanks,” She smiled, putting down her drink to slip her arms through the sleeves. The jacket was ill-fitting, and crumpled at her shoulders. “Remind me to give it back to you later.”

I nodded, shoving my hands into my pockets. I was certainly growing cooler, but I’d known real cold before - drenched to my bones in thick mud. I didn’t seem to feel it anymore. 

My mouth opened, ready to speak, but as my gaze drifted away from Grace and over her shoulder, I noticed Sidney grinning at me from across the lawn. “I’m sorry, uh, pardon,” I said, stepping past her without looking away from Sid. “I’ll see you later.” 

I think she said something else, but as I walked over to Sidney, his grin was so infectious that it seemed to somehow cloud my other senses, his expression fast mirroring on my own face. 

“I’m MARRIED Gene!” He cried, launching himself at me as we collided in an embrace, almost knocking into a table. I clutched at him, patting his back and laughing as we swayed side to side, revelling in my friend’s joy. 

“Yeah you are!” I replied, letting out a spluttering cackle as he pulled me down into a boyish headlock for a moment, physically unable to contain his excitement at the prospect of being Mary’s husband. And also really quite drunk. 

“Aw, you’ve gotta try it,” He beamed, releasing me from his grip. As I stood up straight, he reached forward, trying to flatten the creases in my shirt with his palm. Sid turned on his heel, stumbling slightly as he began to wander down the garden, away from the lights and the party. I followed close beside him, everything growing dimmer as we went, approaching the fence at the bottom of the field. 

“Oh really, and who d’you suppose I ‘try it’ with, huh?” I chuckled. 

He clambered up to sit atop the fence without a concern for the state of his suit. “Well, Anna, of course.”

I paused, then shook my head. “Can’t do that, bud. She’s marrying Hank.”

Sidney snorted loudly. “Hank?! Oh, no. No, no, no. She can’t marry that guy.”

My shoulders had stiffened as I leant against the fence beside him. “She’s gonna.”

“Nah, she’s not. He’s boring, and she likes you better.”

“If she liked me better, she wouldn’t be marrying Hank, would she?”

“I give it a week until she figures it out,” Sid shrugged, the force of it almost knocking him backwards off the fence. “It’s been pretty obvious you’ve had a thing goin’ on for a loooong time.”

I furrowed my brow at him and paused for a moment. “You’re drunk.”

“So? Doesn’t mean I’m blind.”

I didn’t say anything after that. 

-

Anna

We shut ourselves in my room, giggling and shushing each other as we tried to sit down on the floor without spilling our bottles. It was clear we were both already tipsy, Mary’s cheeks just as rosy as the flowers on the wallpaper behind her. 

“I’m married,” She grinned, leaning towards me. I chuckled as she stood up, trying awkwardly to reach around to the back of her dress as she wandered across the room. “I gotta get outta this dress, or I’ll ruin it,” She muttered.

I helped Mary undo the last few buttons, and she lay the dress out flat across my bed, strolling over to my wardrobe in her underwear as she flicked through my dresses for something to wear. We’d almost always fitted each other’s clothes, even as children, and over the years I started to forget which clothes in my drawers were mine and which had been hers. 

She grunted as she tried to do up the back of the one she chose, neglecting the top few buttons as she sat back down on the floor beside me. “Feels pretty good, Annie.”

“I bet,” I grinned, putting the bottle to my lips again. I fell quiet for a moment. “I dunno if I can do it, Mary.”

She frowned slightly. “Course you can. You love him, don’t you?”

“I think so... I just... Dunno if I can get married without them here.”

Mary’s eyes softened, and I knew she knew what I was talking about. “Your brothers would be so happy for you, Anna. And your Pa. But you can’t just... not do things because you’re waiting for someone who’s never gonna come.”

“And... what if there are other reasons too?”

“... Like what?”

I lifted the bottle to my lips, savouring the sensation of the liquid slipping down my throat, clinging onto every second that separated me from the revelation of my illicit secret. 

“Eugene,” I croaked. It was as if an ember had sparked in Mary’s eyes, as they glowed warm with something between understanding and pride. “He kissed me.”

If she had been shocked, I saw no reflection of it in her expression. “When?”

“Last night. He had a nightmare, he woke up and I was there and he just... kissed me. I felt awful, Hank was asleep just upstairs...”

“Did you feel awful?” She pressed. 

“... I should’ve.”

Mary sighed, sliding across the polished flaw to press her side against mine, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. 

“You think you love Hank. Is there a chance you think you might love Eugene too?”

I inhaled, long and laborious, the heave of my chest taking all the strength in my body. “He’s my friend. He’s always been my friend,” There was a pause. “But he went away, and he changed, and then he came back and all I wanted was for things to be like they were before he left. But they’re not... because I think he might love me back now.”

I turned my head to her, and I could see a smile curling at Mary’s lips. And I let her smile spread and reflect itself in my own expression, because I had finally let out what had been inside me for so many years. 

“Shit, Annie,” She breathed. “Been waitin’ for you to figure that one out.”

Letting out a laugh, I seemed entirely unable to stop myself from bursting into tears at the same time, so caught up in the relief and uncertainty of it all. Mary tugged me closer with her other arm, wrapping me in a sideways hug. 

“You’ll always be my favourite person, Mary,” I wept, making her laugh, resting  her cheek against my scalp. “You’re the only person who’s always been there for me, every single day of my life.” 

I could hear the grin in her voice as she spoke. “God, I would’ve gone crazy without you. I know husbands and kids are supposed to go at the top of the list, but no one’s gonna take your place, honey.”

I squeezed her arm, the flesh dipping beneath my fingertips. Sniffing loudly, I sat up, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “We’ve had too much to drink.”

Mary chuckled, and I could see her eyes watering too. “We usually do. I think you should wait until tomorrow to sort things out, these things are best done sober.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” I grunted, pushing myself up off the hard floor onto my feet.

“Where are you goin’?” She asked.

I looked back at her over my shoulder as I padded towards the door. “Gotta piss, Jesus,” My hand reached out for the doorknob. 

It wasn’t until that moment that I realised neither of us had shut the door all the way, a tiny sliver of light escaping out into the hall. It bled out across the floorboards, and shone against the polished leather of a pair of shoes. 

I looked up, and locked eyes with Hank, his hands in his pockets as he lingered outside. His face was haggard, and I could tell instantly he had heard everything he needed to.

“Oh no.”