#“my body's on the line now...”
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That haunting new Twenty One Pilots song from Arcane keeps spinning in my head and made me think, huh, I haven't made a comic about what it was like to have cancer right after my 30th birthday and about the weeks that passed before entering into remission
#loz says stuff#“my body's on the line now...”#“will they still let me over if I cross the line?”#honestly no wonder my darkest time of 2024 was April till July. multiple traumas that happened close enough to one another --#that I got crushed
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It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)
Yeesh, this took forever. <:)
There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D
(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)
anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao
Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:
I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL
Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:
The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.
They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:
In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:
Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:
Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)
Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:
And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D
what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)
And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:
It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.
Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD
Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.
Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…
Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D
They’re also 100% a sub, obviously
Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic
The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO
Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:
Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:
Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)
Last but not least, have these shittens:
~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.
The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… ÓuÒ
Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES
First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.
I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.
All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).
(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)
Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔
Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.
He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)
I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.
So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.
Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…
Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)
They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.
(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)
But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.
He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.
Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.
The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c
And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯
oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it
Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)
THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl shitten#cotl mystic seller#cotl aym#cotl baal#aym and baal#this is why i have been especially quiet lately XD#even just the bonus stuff took several days to finish because i don't know the meaning of DOODLE anymore apparently#everything must be fully inked and colored with backgrounds I Fukken Guess#at least using medibang's sumi brush keeps me from focusing on making my lines perfect :\#and yeah i copy-pasta'd a lot of my own backgrounds don't at me bro#if you're on desktop and want to full view but don't know how: right click the image - open in new tab - zoom in as needed :)#feel free to ask questions about the AU if you want - but uh - this is basically the extent to which i've thought it through LOL#edit: oh right - aym and baal really out there assuming narinder already put the lamb's soul to rest so the body's just fodder now lmao#last edit i hope: fixed the transparent cult certified freak image 8|#nope - one more edit: there is one (1) loophole for how living mortals can be in the afterlife without dying#that loophole is currently narinder XD#'sorry universe but the god of death says i can be in here so back off with your rules and regulations'
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me and that fucking subspace that i hate
raw version without the pixelated jazzy filters and stuff :3
#phighting#phighting!#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#medkit phighting#medkit fanart#medkit#subspace phighting#subspace fanart#subspace#subspace tripmine#subkit#roblox fanart#roblox art#this is da previous paper doodle i did but digital now#idk why i digitalized it i guess i just wanted to color them#well now you have my personal interpretation of them as humans#i kinda struggled a little removing the notepad lines so ignore that..#did you notice it did you notice it#the white roots is a reference to how they have white hair in other versions#the white hairstrands is because theyre both so fucking stressed and old#and the colored streaks is an effect from the crystal :3#all of this is incredibly self indulgent sorru guys#plz dont jump me if i did something wrong 🙏#its not noticeable but instead of giving my subspace pink faded hands hes getting deterioating graying ones#idc im making him look like a half-corpse now#his hairs lighter and graying too coz hes rotting idk#how does the human body work
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shes my collar (i’m the one that put it there)
#firefly wedding#hotaru no yomeiri#(sweats) yeah#my art#doodle#doodles#yeah. i drew this with my dick. In the most ace way possible.#vol 4 cover art put something in the air i fear!!#why does mitsueda ask if hes been tamed and kotaro says hes obedient. why.#he wasnt even tamed he just does it himself.#lol satoko im in love w u so u own me body and soul now ❤️#(satoko doesnt know the extent of it)#yk the ….i think 17 extra…#where he has this look on his face when he says even if i die ill protect you#UNHINGED#yeah i tried to. uh. ref that expression. LOL#but um its kinda hard in the opposite angle LOL#sorry that line is so unhinged. esp because 18.#hes passed out and yet.#ok!!!!!!!!!normal!!!!!!!normal!!!!!!!!!
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what is this guys problem
#Practicing… 4 the comic ….. i havent drawn him in a hot minute#made me realize. I have 2 study some baseball hats <- funny sentence#Bro strider#homestuck#ive caught glimpses of fanart where people draw him almost in a bara style and i don’t think thats how he would look#like pesterquest ult dirk#im trying to find a balance between that level of buff and his sprite form#Yammering …#On an unrelated note. Im trying to make my style less Shaped#I want less straight lines and stuff i wanna get kinda detailed#At least with the faces#I can do detailed bodies already for the most part#But faces have scared me lol#so now im gonna pussy up. and finally learn how to draw pretty faces#Ive only gotten super detailed with faces when it’s for something scary i think lol
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watched the persona 5 proof of justice ova from years ago and was getting acid reflux with how queer everything was... what do you mean its just 20 minutes of joker mourning his boyfriend. that's the entire ova.
#persona 5#akechi goro#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#like call me crazy but good god if i had twice the brain power that i do right now i could write a dissertation picking apart the--#--queer themes of shuake alone#something something self hatred something something two sides of the same coin...#i don't know man i think it's hard to deny the very true realness of shuake when everything in canon points to them being tied together#for better or for worse but i'd like to think for better#also the “if only we'd met a few years earlier” thing#why dont you... choke me out and strangle me and dump my body in the river the way that that line took me out#akechi i love you akechi they could never make me hate you#except for when i'm actually playing the game and then i'm filled with nothing but rage everytime he comes on screen#but its loving rage of course
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Can I request a pokemon drawing? Was thinking mewtwo but idk whoever whatever!
Day 11 - Quiet pls
#My art#Requestober#Pokemon#Whismur#MewTwo#I'm pulling out my excuse from a couple years ago - I may have gone overboard but in my defense I really wanted to#Lol#Of course I had to!!! My beloveds!!!!!#Whismur's been on my mind again lately - thinking again of the little doodle of me holding one among others things haha#And I mean if you're going to specify MewTwo who am I to say no <3#So both! Both burple babies! Although Whismur is classified as pink?? Mm???#They're more purple than MewTwo arguably??? He's more grey due to the alien influence - that scrembaby is purple#I really wanted to lean a bit more into MewTwo's catlike traits and have him nosing around lol#Sniff sniff what are you identify yourself#Couldn't swing the posing >:P He's too dignified to lie down completely but how do support himself on those legs!#If not for his tail he'd definitely fall on his face haha#Well I might try again another time - and it's not like I'm DisPleased with how it turned out!#I didn't re-line Everything but I did a lot of it........I actually like lining a lot now........it's fun lol#His little body expression differences were very fun haha especially his tail - an agitated thump in the last one!#MewTwo dearest you're very intimidating to the little speaker just turn down the glare#Being screamed at doesn't help the glower lol#Poor little Whismur haha just not used to MewTwo yet! He's fairly friendly to most Pokemon...now#He'll still probably just make a clone and leave the original be at this point lol#As least that one won't cry at the sight of him! Probably! Maybe! Haha <3
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what a privilege it is, that my two favourite guys, are each others favourite guys.
#it doesnt feel like a privilege right now#feels like a fucking wrecking ball gliding through my body over and over and over#could have done without max's words today because it was already achey and max breaking the company line#just means a lot. because i said the other day i didnt think he would.#but to always know. max will recognise him. its not even in a maxiel way. its a max and daniel who learnt and grew through#this sport together#its a privilege it really fucking is.#god it hurtsthough
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It wasn't the jayvik break-up song it was the jayvik forgiveness song, and somehow, that's worse.
#arcane spoilers#arcane#jayvik nation please#jayvik#not tagging this fully#refer to post one for context#also like i understand that the somg plays durong his body transformation#and that its implying thats its mainly about whats happening to him#but if you hear me out ✋️#to me it feels like viktor begging jayce to forgive him for what hes doing#hes crossing the line he knows that but he's also asking himself if he will be forgiven for what hes doing by jayce#and i think its dorected at jayce specifically bc of the lines about wanting the listener to remember the singer as they were before#also just as a disabled person it hit a little close to home#one of my biggest fears is getting worse than i am now and my loved ones only remembering my worst#if i go into anymore detail ill write an essay in the notes ✋️ yall dont want that#spoliers#jayce talis#arcane jayce#viktor arcane
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I need somebody to remember my name after all I can do for them is done
(Remember My Name by Mitski)
#imagine this happens right after JJK0. I wonder whose body is on that table. i wonder if its the one and only person that called him satoru#i did not feel like cleaning this up or lining it so ure getting it messy or ure not getting it#sat on this for a couple of weeks its either post it now or never#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#shoko ieri#my art
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I want to extend a personal heartfelt apology to the Narinder I tormented in my first save file post-game. In that playthrough I got the Leshy quest and then nothing else. But this time I got a quest for each world, and then for his (presumably) final request he asked me to revive someone. I did, and…
He’s…. he’s happy??? He’s proud of me?? Narinder is my friend????
I don’t wanna be mean to him anymore. He’s proud of me. He’s proud of me.
I don’t understand why this line specifically is having such an effect on me. It’s just. Bittersweet. I somehow feel like I must be misinterpreting this despite reading it a hundred times over.
#Narinder chill retirement arc#no but really all of the distaste I had for him immediately evaporated out of my body when I read this line#I say distaste because I never hated him I just tormented him bc he had an attitude#but no more. I love him now. he will live like a king.#txt#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl narinder
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Snoopy #35
5/11/2024
#peanuts#snoopy#art#35#isometric snoopy!#not really the angles aren't perfect 60/120 degrees#isometric + no lines was my A E S T H E T I C when i was like 15 lol#do u guys remember crossy road?#his ears look like chocolate bars or smartphones or something#fun fact: phones have several types of shape and one type of shape that older phones could have was called a candy bar shape#which refers to phones that are sort of like brick phones but slimmer#slim brick if you will. slim bricc.#remember when everyone was obsessed with the slim thicc body type and it was everywhere? and now i feel like i never hear anything about it#raise ur hand if you're sickkkkkk of women's body types being treated as a trend 🙋♀️
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He's my favorite Mega and yet I draw his hair rather inconsistently, so I'm putting these here for my own reference as the shapes here came out Just Right. And there's some additional doodles from a while back of Hub demonstrating his built-in cord.
(Next to it is the Jack-Out switch and a port for Lan's PET cord.)
#of course I also needed to get an idea on the Forbidden Left-Facing Position so there's that too#now that I got a hang of lan's hair in the way that I like it#I'm over here like oh gosh I want to make sure these two still look like twins so I am trying to make their bangs look similar#I think it's fine now *agh*#that's kinda what happens after years of learning styles and adjusting body proportions (I jump between so many kinds so)#doodle-daas#megaman exe#megaman.exe#rockman exe#hub hikari#saito hikari#anywho yeah just putting this here quickly so I can refer to it later down the line (it made me itch my brain)
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He spits out errors! He pukes up lies! He's the kind of con man we despise!!
It's Billsbury! Billsbury!
that p̪̀ho͎nỹ̨
Bil̊͘lne̡r͔̒d͎ ͍Bi̯ͦl̸̕lͨs̘̩b̄̊u͖ͅry!ͤ
#I can hear him saying like half of spilsbury's lines literally in canon#like 'yeesh relax IQ its just brian'#'fordsy look now I control your body~'#← that one paper bag came up with <3 god she's brilliant fr#operation mincemeat musical#operation mincemeat#bernard spilsbury#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill#omm#my art
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jason todd.... parallels.... monster..... frankenstein.... what if...
#i did actually have this brief thought like weeks ago before the ask#i was reading one of those jason post-pit body dysmorphia fics and there was a line that made him sound like frankenstein's monster..#i ACTUALLY didn't think about it all too much until the ask. then i was like. yeah this is what the universe wants me doing#but now it's almost 1am and i can't sleep#they're holding hands and doing cartwheels in my head#jason todd#frankenstein#frankenstein's monster#red hood#robin#dc comics#dcu#dc#gothihop speaks
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MY BRAINS NOT WORKING AND THE CUTE BOY I WORK WITH KEEPS CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR THIS IS SO AHAIWIAKSDHDGRRRRHRNE
#dhakaksdjs fuckdwkufeisfjsjajsueei#im using a translator and it keeps outputting 您 instead of 你 and he keeps calling it out like bro ur making it awkward#AND IM LIKE SORRY I CANT ACTUALLY WRITE IN THIS LANGUAGE IM REALLY DU M. BB#also he offered to take over the last part bc i was like hi its almost 9pm here and i literally cannot think anymore#like i am certain its a very easy last part my brain is just finished#i feel so bad bc i wanted to push this proj over the line#this company is so intense i am so baby i am so tired#hugging my cat and rubbing my gross face all over his gross body#me in vc trying to figure out how to say: it was broken earlier idk how it was fixed u saw it was broke tho right#but all that came out was: in the past it was….problematic… *20 yr silence*#before he awkwardly went: um its okay i dont think this is necessary also u have lint issues#and i was just like ya….i know 😭#its ambiguous to some of my teammates if i just dont understand them or if im fking dumb#its probably both im ngl#the blank stare i have on my face is first from trying to comprehend what the actual words they are saying mean#and then to comprehend what technical concept they are trying to convey#using like 50% of the information i managed to parse out#also im used to literally spending 30-40% of the working day talking smack#now i try to crack and joke and everyone is like three this isnt the time#three we are all gonna be hear past 9pm working this isnt the time
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