#“little bro” my dick is bigger than yours for sure

[myfandomrealitea]

why are you harassing people, little bro? The main proship rule is not to harass other people. You're not a proship, you're a damn fucking anti

Want to feel alive?Enjoy flirting with danger?Love the taste of thrill and risk?Willing to walk on the wild side?Argue with an unhinged BTS fan about how other groups are successful completely independently of BTS today!#myfandomrealitea#sephiroth speaks#fandom#proship#reality#proshipping#discourse#new hobby unlocked#i've held venomous animals and been in less danger

[princessbrunette]

john b made puppy!reader cum a whole bunch of times. no, not to overstimulate her — he’d thought about it, many times with his cock in his hand, but it was early days. today, he just had to be certain that she was slicked up enough to even get him inside that snug cunt.

he drags the tip through your puffy folds, watching each and every way your body jerks and twitches — audibly soaked, your arousal clicking and oozing with each grind of his hips. you were still sensitive, naturally — the taste of you still on his tongue, so he was being patient. even when he watched your hole clench around nothing and you placed a smaller hand on his wrist.

“please, i still want it daddy.” you groan, tearful and demure.

“look, i want you to know that we don’t have to do anything today if you don’t —”

“i still want it, daddy.” you suck in a breath so sharp you nearly choke on it and he raises his eyebrows, nodding in yielding.

“okay, okay. take it easy sweetheart. i’ll give you what you want.”

he watches the way his fat tip presses against your puffy pussy lips, spreading them obscenely from just the slightest pressure. john b always knew he was big, bigger than average atleast. curious eyes had decided that for himself upon taking shy glances around all-male changing rooms and locker room conversations about dick size that had friends saying ‘you’re a fucking liar, bro.’ the girls in his past had a little more experience than you, and welcomed the stretch — but looking at you below him, he wondered if this could potentially scare you off. he was about to do something he never thought he’d do, chicken out.

“bubba…” he cradles you, sliding hands under your back to hold you close and press kisses to your hot skin. john b’s voice was filled with sympathy, and if you weren’t so hazy in the head, desperate for his dick — you might’ve picked up on what he was about to say. “i don’t think it’s gonna fit, puppy.” he coo’s.

“no!” you whine petulantly. it wasn’t like you to be spoiled or demanding — but you had been preparing all week to take your boyfriend and you’d be damned if you didn’t get to atleast try to feel him inside you. “no, john b!” crestfallen, you let the hot tears race down your cheeks and his brows crease, feeling awful about it.

“i don’t want to hurt you, okay? i just —”

“make it fit, please— please make it fit john b, need it so bad!” you babble out a beg, snot pooling beneath your nose and all. he’d seen desperation, and he’d seen you cry — but never had he seen you cry in desperation for his cock. it twitches involuntarily against you, the heavy pink tip thumping your clit making you jerk, shuddering.

“heyheyheyhey— okay, okay. sweetheart, look at me. look at daddy. riiiight here.” he presses a wide hand to your chest to still you, the warmth of his palm proving to serve as some comfort as you suck in a shaky breath, bottom lip still wobbling. “thaaats my girl. breathe, okay?” he feels the thudding of your heart slow ever so slightly against his palm as you suck in slow trembling breaths. “i’m… i’m gonna try okay? but you… you need to breathe. gonna give me a heart attack, pup — jesus.” he sighs, lining himself up once more.

he decides one fluid motion might be better, so once he starts pushing in he doesn’t stop. slowly, but surely he feels your walls contract and stretch around his thickness — your jaw tense in determination as you put every muscle possible into lax, allowing john b to do what needs to be done.

“that okay? talk to me puppy how does it feel?”

“feels full.” you say through a strained tongue. you didn’t know you’d stopped breathing.

“what’d i say, hm? breathe.”

you suck in a long hard breath at this permission, and as you do so john b takes the opportunity to bottom out completely, dropping his forehead to your shoulder to let out a gravelly groan as you squeak. you feel as though you can’t even clench. there’s no space. he feels your glossy walls fluttering and trying anyway.

“happy, pup? that feel nice?”

he lifts his head, warm brown eyes searching your watery iris. there’s a softness to you suddenly, like you’d completely let go and you nod— a clammy hand pushing his wavy brown hair from his face.

“i wanna stay like this forever.”

[dreamertf]

Follow the Instructions

/hello! Hope you enjoy this one, im gonna start tagging ai as #ai tf so if you dont want to see any ai images in your tfs you can block that tag. Ill also be putting a disclaimer at the top of each post that has ai.

/contains ai images & video

/includes; muscle growth, suggestion tf, straight to gay tf

"Yeah, Im feeling fine!"

Jason was tired of how weak and scrawny his best friend Max stayed throughout their time in high school and now, college. So he had given Max a new black market roid that promised to "make him a bro." He crushed up a few of the pills without looking at the instructions and baked it into a cookie he gave Max.

Jason wasn't so bad himself, 6'4" and muscular, with a charming face. Little did he know that his height that he had since he was a sophmore in highschool would be changing.

Jason stared at Max as his skin started to ripple and shift.

"Are you sure?"

"Never better, bro."

Max ripped his shirt off as his muscles swelled. A deep canyon of rippling abs leading up to two giant slabs of muscle. He flexed and stretched as his biceps filled out.

"Sorry, im feeling a little hot." Max said non chalantly. His muscles continued to grow as he flexed them.

"Oh my god it worked"

"What worked?"

"Oh nothing, dont worry about it."

"Ok brah"

Their surrounds changed from school as it turned into a living room, a living room Jason had been in so many times before, Max's living room. All of a sudden, Jason felt a pull towards Max. He couldn't stop looking at him, like literally. He traced Max's outline as each muscle became more prominent. He stared at the giant as he grew taller and taller, but something wasn't right. It was like everything around Jason was getting taller too.

Unfortunately, Jason hadn't looked into how the roid actually worked. On the back of the small blue box, it read ;

Are you tired of being weak and nerdy? We got you covered. We believe the human mind is a powerful tool, and our Bro Pill helps you to use it to your full potential! Not only does it shift your mindset to be more focused on sports and the bros, but it also changes various other aspects of your life in order to fit your new you! We recommend taking one pill weekly until desired affects.

WARNING: taking more than one pill a week may intensify the effect you have on other people

Jason panicked as he felt himself losing muscle and height. His features softened as he turned from a rugged man into a young 20 something twink. It looks like the god of Jason's creation has type cast him as his twinky boyfriend. Making Max a jock apparently didn't override his sexuality.

"What are you doing to me?"

His voice was still deep, too deep for someone like him.

"Make that voice a little higher, and can you please quit being so worried brah? Be like me, stop thinkin as much little guy huhuhu."

A wave of relief came over Jason as he collapsed onto the couch. His body continued to shrink as he lost his height, becoming about 5'6" compared to Max's new 6'8". His musculature toned down more, not as defined anymore.

"Whatever you say babe" Jason giggled, his voice much higher and more flamboyant.

"Thats my pretty boy." Conversely, Max's voice became much deeper and demanding. Jason felt himself starting to get hornier.

"I'm so happy i couldfind you. Your ass was like made for my dick huhuhu" Max said as he spread his legs wide as his pouch grew bigger. He had one more explosive growth as his shoulder broadened and his pecs filled out more. Jason shifted in his seat as his ass grew more plump and muscular.

"What do you mean?" Jason feigned innocence, turning the ditziness all the way up.

"Come here and I'll show you, slut."

[wanna-be-jock]

Partners and Muscle Growth

How the hell am I meant to subtly let the guy I'm interested in know I have a muscle growth kink. Like hey dude, you're really sweet and cute, wanna start hitting the gym with me? I know how much you love 'casually' glancing at my arms, so why not put a little meat on your own? Wouldn't that be hot bro. Picture it.

I'll take you through everything, show you the proper form, see where your strength it at. And push you beyond it. If I see you faulter, I'll take my turn. Nothing to keep you motived like seeing my form blowing up with a sick pump. Hell, I'll even let you suck me off on the bench press, we gotta get that protein in ya. And If I think you put real effort in and you're too tired to move, I'll tell you what a good job you did and how proud i am, as I'm dumping my loads in you in the showers. Don't think anyone will mind, half those guys are just waiting to see you blow up anyway.

Think about all those gains ya'll make bro. Seeing your arms steadily growing as the weeks go by. Your brain getting hooked on the pump. That feeling of accomplishment of a good hard session. That tingle in your jock when all those hunks eyes linger longer and longer, as you beginning to fill out and stretch your cute little nerdy shirts.

Before you know it, your appreciation of my muscles will become an obsession with your own. You'll find yourself feeling them up, be it in the gym, with me, alone or in public. Nothing beats loving the way I'm making your body change and showing it off, making sure everyone sees your progress. All that extra testosterone in you will probably make you an even hornier then before. My 'motivations' certainly won't help that, gym session ending in sexual gratification. It start once you finally notice you've stopped wearing sleaves, walking around with a constant semi seeing all the new definition. Then you'll give up on shirts entirely, and there won't be a single reflective surface you haven't had a flex session infront of, getting off to your own masculinity.

Then it'll finally hit you. Seeing that form of yourself, an unrecognisable hunk to the skinny wimp you once were. Your new muscles making you cocky and arrogant, arrogance getting you more and more attention, the attention making you want to get bigger muscles. An endless loop of exercising, flexing, growing, and fucking. Your mind clogged with nothing more than thoughts of pumping iron and dick. You'll be unable to stop yourself for seeing your once friends and picturing how hot it would be if they started to blowing up with muscle too, inspired by your confidence and growth. Thoughts of life before replaced with routine and working out. You'll be nothing more than my bulked up sex-obsessed dumb jock, with an insatiable need to make yourself bigger and suck cock, and loving every second of it.

Like, wouldn't that be hot dude?

[heartofjasmina]

Okay let me resend this. Ahem!

I want to hear your opinion on Alpha!Big bro! Bakugou with an omega!little sister! Reader who’s in heat and she is in so much pain that she will let anyone fuck her stupid but he won’t let anyone near her so she demands him to fuck her.

I know I said it was dub con but is it really? Idk-

I am eating this tf up omfg <3

TW Dark Content

He couldn't help it. He physically couldn't help the way growls escaped him anytime an alpha tried to go near you while you were in heat. You were his precious baby sister and this was your first heat. No one was going to take advantage of you.

Meanwhile you were dying with need. Howling out of desperation in a way that made Katsuki's heart clench. He gulped before stepping into your room, needing to make sure you weren't actually dying.

"Brother please, please please, need your knot I can't--" You were instantly babbling as soon as you smelled him, his spicy sweet scent calming you down as he came closer.

He should say no, right? He should be the bigger person and leave. Let some other man fill you with his knot and pups just to make his little sister happy.

The thought made him nauseous.

"Please, brother, please, I can't do this anymore it hurts and and I just want it not to hurt anymore," you were on the verge of tears and Katsuki wanted to kick himself. Didn't matter that his stomach twisted knowing what he was about to do. Out of guilt or shame for actually wanting it he wasn't sure.

"Alright, sis. Alright omega. Present for me." He shuddered when the words left his lips, he never thought his fantasies (the perverted ones he kept locked away from the light of day) would come true like this.

You scrambled to obey him, your hips up in the air and your thighs wet with your slick. His mouth ran dry at the sight of your folds glistening and your hole clenching on air.

"'m a good omega, need it, please, I'll be good." You moaned as you felt him climb onto the bed behind you.

He was hard as a rock, wanting nothing more than to feel your wet heat wrapped around his dick. He could tell you were lost to your heat becaues even the sound of his zipper being undone had you in hysterics. Your omega brain had clearly taken over.

"Alpha, need you, need you, need my alpha." You whimpered, moaning loud and long when finally, finally you felt the tip of his dick pressing into you.

You were impatient and thankfully he didn't make you wait any longer, starting to fuck you at a furious pace right from the start.

You were both lost in each other then, your eyes crossing as your cheek was pressed against the bed finally full and soon to be knotted. His cock was pushing into you so deep it felt like he was in your throat. He was losing it because of how wet you were, every squelch of your pussy on his dick made him growl.

"Good omega, so fucking wet for me. Never letting you go. Gonna fill you with my pups and make you mine."

"Yes, brother please, alpha, knot me knot me knot me-"

"Then take it." The swelling at the base of his dick was starting to catch on your rim as he pushed it into you. You keened from the lovely stretch that finally made you feel complete.

When it popped inside you both moaned, your lovemaking complete. It wasn't long before he was pumping his cum into you, his knot keeping every drop locked up inside your pretty pussy.

[thewertsearch]

ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help […] KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science

At this point. Kanaya is Human Sarcasming better than most actual humans.

ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic […] KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science

I think Dave taught Kanaya more about the art of trolling in a single conversation than Eridan could in an entire lifetime.

That guy can troll better than most actual trolls.

ERIDAN: wwhats that thing there KANAYA: The Matriorb KANAYA: I Was About To Go Hatch It In The Core To Restore Our Race ERIDAN: that sounds ERIDAN: hopeful […] ERIDAN: if theres goin to be any sort a hope for our race as the prince of hope i demand to be invvolvved ERIDAN: so dont go anywwhere wwithout me got it […] KANAYA: Fine

I’m all for the construction of neo-Alternia, but I really don't think Eridan should be on the planning committee, unless we also want a neo-hemospectrum.

Honestly, the only trolls I'd really trust to rebuild their society are the bottom half of the hemospectrum, and possibly Gamzee. The other highbloods can go sit in the corner.

ERIDAN: its not magic wwe talked about this kar KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT. KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS

I don’t see how Hope translates to a robot-exploding beam, though.

If it was wizards he was blowing up, I’d understand, because it would be consistent with my theory that he's weaponizing his hatred of FRAUDULENT MAGIC. If anything, his Science Wand should strengthen a robot, since it's a product of the TRUEST SCIENCES.

ERIDAN: i had a harder time than anybody wwith this game ERIDAN: it wwas really fuckin unfair wwhat challenges i got saddled wwith ERIDAN: i wwoulda fuckin MURDERED for a land full of a lot a harmless brains and fire ERIDAN: but no ERIDAN: it wwas so lonely ERIDAN: hey guys anybody wwant to come hang out wwith me in the land a wwrath and angels

That sounds cool, though. Angels, I assume, are how Hope is represented in his Land, and I’m sure Eridan synergized well with its wrath. I wonder what physical form it took?

ERIDAN: anybody at all i knoww it isnt anythin like one of your flippin land picnics ERIDAN: anybody please ill evven settle for the kittycat shipper cavve girl

You can't complain about loneliness and then insult your ‘friend’ in the same breath. That's not how any of this works, and the fact that you're unaware of this should tell you everything you need to know about why you're lonely.

So Karkat does know about Nepeta’s little crush. He is a relationship aficionado, after all.

Poor Nepeta.

I sort of figured Karkat didn't reciprocate her feelings. He's preoccupied with plenty of other redrom prospects, and he basically never mentions her.

Karkat’s honestly a little too nice to Eridan. He’s being such a bro here, but what Eridan actually needs is to be brought down to size a little.

Granted, I think Eridan needs a bigger shock to the system than an angry tirade from Karkat. I feel like Terezi could tear him to pieces - but since it's unfair to expect her to put up with him alone, I'd put both the Scourge Sisters on this assignment. >:)

What Karkat is aptly demonstrating here is that there’s a difference between an Eridan kind of asshole and a Karkat kind of asshole.

Let's be real, here - Karkat's a dick. But he's a dick who holds no true malice, knows when he's crossed a line, and is willing to sincerely apologize for his past actions, and make amends.

Eridan possesses none of these qualities, which is why he sat alone in his house for a month while Karkat befriended the entire cast.

[honeyydrunk]

the nct fuckboy/fratboy agenda has me weakkkk omg give us more whenever u have the time ur so good!!!

ofc thank u !! they have me going delusional feral crazy barking and meowing !! let me do it for you let me write it out ANY MORE REQUESTS LEMME KNOW !!

part 1 link NCT COLLEGE FUCKBOYS PART 2 ten jeno jungwoo hendery yangyang renjun xiaojun winwin

ten lee chittaphon leechaiyapornkul is a whore. absolute whore. he's raising those neos into SLUTS. his reputation precedes him bc he is so pretty, so flexible, so ughhhhhhhhhhh !!!! like you see him for the first time and you know why people say he's got a body count bigger than his age. everyone wants to fuck himmm. he's so pretty, and even even prettier fucked out. messy hair and everything.

he's always flirting with someone new in the hallway when you see him. and like taeyong, his sex tapes get sent AROUND. people come up to him at school randomly and beg for 1 night w him. he's slept w all the neos at one point im sure about that.

you knew about how much of a SLUT bro was. but once you saw one of his sex tapes w johnny, you found yourself showed up outside of his class and begged for him. he responded that you should dm him w your application and he might get back to you about it. lee jeno 💪 bro is ur average athlete player fuckboy. THE cliche. smokes behind the benches, rich family, somehow top of the class. the one that everyone swears they won't fall for but they all want. you see a new girl on his arm each week and it hurts. but you've already fallen, it's just a matter of time. he'll start wearing you down and he didn't even know he did it. but you did. pulling the triangle technique when you lock eyes, catching you when you fall. and eventually he'll be right behind you when you shamefully admit to your friend that you want him. when he fucks you gone in his car? you know you need to get him to stay with you. you couldn't live without this. like you need his dick to even function. you've given up your life for him, just so that when he asks you're available to suck his dick.

JUNGWOO,,,, oh my god. he's so crazy. y'all remember the 2 baddies fuckboy jungwoo era. imagine that, but that's his default setting. man's still sugaring candy, but it's ur candy this time. he's sucking ur pussy if u didn't understand what doja said. he's the quiet slut. the whole school doesn't talk about him like they do mark, ten, taeyong and jeno. but when you see him? you're done for. batshit crazy delusional. his whole demeanour and personality is straight flirting, pulling his shirt up at every opportunity. the way he walks around the school with his sweet perfume trailing, he gets people going feral over him. people will just walk up and beg for him to fuck him, and ofc jungwoo obliges if they're hot enough.

he's so sweet when you taste him, like his cum is sweeter than sugar. his perfume too. everything about him is like a candy drug. a pretty moan when you suck him dry. he's so pretty and sweet that makes you cum too. genuinely, you start following him around school just so you can smell him. you don't even care it's creepy.

H E N D E R Y is the epitome of "so weird you forget he's hot." he's actually extremely popular. genuinely friends with everyone. people are a little hesitant because they know he's part of the neo slut gang, and they see him acting a little unusual special crazy. but they actually have a conversation with him and suddenly they realise, bro this guy is amazing. and jus like that he's friends with everyone.

but then, uh well here comes a strange phenomenon. you've only seen him being silly, a little whimsical even. but when you see him zoned out, or concentrating for once? ..... "oh". because you finally realise how beautiful he is. an actual prince. it's not exaggerated to say he's taken your breath away. you're in love. imagine how much it hurts to go to a party and realise that you're not the only one in the room that is. so many people had that exact experience as you. learning how beautiful he truly is, falling in love, and begging for him. you see him in the corner, zoned out from the loud music and watch one of the guys you're mutually friends with have that phenomenon right there and then, pulling him away to a cupboard.

the same thing happened 3 times that night. liu yangyang international exchange fuckboy. he doesn't realise he's a fuckboy though. with the whole funny and cute personality going on, he thinks he's just got an amazing ability to pull people. sleeping with a different person or multiple people at a party, to seeing someone new every day and asking for their instagram. bro doesn't even know about the horrendous reputation he's got. "dude people say i'm a slut? nahhh that's crazy."

yangyang is of the opinion he's just a funny chill guy. down for anything, including a little fun fuck times whenever someone asks. and while that's his reasoning, he doesn't quite understand how it looks to everyone else. a rich guy coming back from germany, taiwan, and wherever else for weekend getaway bender and driving to school in a luxury car with a new girl in it almost every day.

when he fucks? it's just like his personality. fun and hyper. bros fucking for a good time and with him it's definitely a good time. spilling cum on the luxury leather seats, tinted windows and a surround sound system. yeah,,,,, you see why he does this so often. it's genuinely so much fun. better make sure you give him a really good time though, so he invites you to his apartment next time.

renjunnie the most smug class president for some, and nct's little plaything to others. it really depends on who you ask. for people in his class, he is the most obnoxious, smug, annoying ahh know it all, with the biggest dick. (a stick up his ass which is obviously jenos). genuinely, every person he's tutored has ended up unfortunately eyeing him instead of the book. how did that end? with him being just as rude and bitchy as he fucks you. measuring how much he pleases you by how much you can answer while fucked out.

but for the ones that know of the dreamies having their way with him can't possibly see him as anything other than a little toy. the way the other six just devour that man is actually quite shocking. lowkey surprised bro can even walk.

xiaojun oh my lord. this man's moans are heavenly. you actually cum when you hear them. (lowkey think some czennie do when he hits those notes). he's part of the nct moaner gets passed around line with renjun, haechan, taeyong, and ten. horrid sex tapes.

he looks so beautiful. standing in front of the school performance during an assembly, halting everyone with his voice. if you could look around, you'd see everyone frozen. haunted by his siren song and face that launched a thousands wars. everyone in that room was looking at him, and only him. in that room, no one was in a relationship. how could they love anyone else except him.

countless marriage proposals, dowrys of billions. everyone in that room would give xiaojun the world in exchange for a sliver of his love. no joke someone has given him a car in exchange for his private instagram account. winwin bros got the cha eunwoo effect. the campus crush. he hangs out with the china line horrid fuckboys , yangyang hendery chenle. but who cares? that actually elevates his status. literally a rose in a garden of slutty ahh thorns. that's not to say he's not a giant fuckboy. he's just quieter about it.

with his quiet excuses, sneak dates an hour away, his subtle ways of affection. he says he doesn't want attention, so you can't publicly date. but that's just so the other girls won't find out. he doesn't even think he's dating you, just seeing where it goes. eventually you'll call it off, "making it easier on your friendship" you say. that's how he goes through so many girls.

taking you to a beautiful garden several hours out of the city, you think it's romantic. he uses a different phone to text with you, 'so the guys don't go through my regular one and tease you'.

enjoying the sunlight he's slowly fingering you so you're focused on his love, and not seeing what's right in front of you

tags: @stanskzorillkickyou you asked for yangyang bbg !!

prev: haechan, mark, johnny, yuta, jaemin, kun, chenle, jisung next: jaehyun doyoung, perhaps lucas sungchan shotaro

[alphajocklover]

Hey, I've been in a relationship with my Korean boyfriend for some years now, and he keeps telling me things about this InstaJock app, and how he's gonna use it to make himself the biggest, most dominant muscular jock ever... I'm usually the one who tops though, so I'm a bit concerned over what that entails, could you help me out? I don't want to lose my twink...

I’ll admit, I’m a little unsure on how to answer your question, mainly because I’m not entirely sure how to interpret it. I might just be overthinking things, but to me it seems like your question can be interpreted in two different way. Both interpretations suggest a different kind of person asking and each have a different answer. So, let’s look at them both.

Our first scenario: you are a concerned boyfriend who is worried that InstaJock, a mysterious and possibly dangerous app that turns the user into a jock, will change your boyfriend in ways he doesn’t fully comprehend. You’re worried because you’re a loving boyfriend who is naturally worried about the man you love messing around with mysterious technology and altering his personality to the point he’s like a different person. If that’s the case my advice is to just talk to him. If you’re worried he’s rushing into this, tell his as much, and talk to him about why he wants to become a jock in the first place. Maybe he’ll go through with it, maybe he won’t, but if you talk about it beforehand things will probably be much better for both of you, and I’m sure you’ll be able to work this out. Maybe you’ll even get a hot jock boyfriend out of it.

The second scenario is that you’re not concerned about your boyfriend literally changing his identity, you’re concerned because you want to be the top. Which… honestly is kind of shitty man. Like, I get worrying about being sexually compatible with your boyfriend, but when you hear the love of your life is using a magic app to change basically everything about themselves, you’re first thought shouldn’t be ‘how will I be able to fuck him if he’s bigger than me.’ Lucky for you I’m going to give you an answer anyway. Hell, I’ll give you 3 possible answers.

Number 1: Top the Jock. I can’t believe I have to explain this, but just because he’s a jock doesn’t mean he’ll be a top. Sure most jocks are dominant studs who think with their dicks, but it’s possible to be a jock and bottom. There are submissive jocks, power bottom jocks, and plenty of vers jocks. Even if you both end up as tops, you could find a way to make it work. A lot of people do. But something tells me that’s not the answer that you really want. So let’s move onto our next answer.

Number 2: Become the Jock. If you don’t want your boyfriend to use InstaJock, one of the things you could do is use it first. Now, that won’t actually stop him from using the app, but considering his obvious infatuation with jocks I’m betting that if you became one, he’d do whatever you want. Jocks have a way of getting what they want, and I’m better a Korean twink like your boyfriend would be putty in your hands. He wouldn’t become a jock unless you wanted to, and you’d never lose your twink. This one is the one I think you’d like best, but… personally I enjoy the 3rd option the most.

Number 3: Join the Jock. This one is pretty similar to number 2, with one key difference: you both become jocks. Since you were bigger to begin with you’ll most likely be bigger after you get jockified, and then not only will you have a boyfriend with enough muscle to handle getting topped by your new beefy jock self, you’ll have a fellow jock to bro out with!

I��ll be honest, I can’t tell you what to do. I don’t know enough about your situation to know what’s right for you or your boyfriend. But let me know how it all works out in the end. I’m sure whatever happens… it’ll be very hot.

**hey guys! I have to say I had a lot of fun with this prompt. I kind of have a thing for buff Asian guys, if you can’t tell, and it’s always fun to do InstaJock stuff. I am sorry to say that I have no idea if anyone pictured is Korean or just generally Asian. Finding specific pictures online is hard so I tend to go with the closest I can get. Anyways, stay tuned!**

[lmskitty]

Here's have some Satosugu family stupidity. This is mostly just humour/crack fic because I needed a little break today. Hope you enjoy!

5 conversations Megumi Fushiguro overheard that he wished he hadn't.

Megumi Fushiguro loves his family, friends and boyfriend. He also hates all of them and thinks they should be the ones to pay for his therapy. Here are the things he has been made to hear with his own two ears over the course of one week.

1. The Todo Incident.

Todo mimed rudely with his right hand, his left hand holding his soft drink.

“Bro seriously if you sit on your hand it totally feels like it's a different person. Granted you should do both hands if you want the full package involved though.”

Yuji sighed “Number 1 no it doesn't, 2 stop telling me these things and 3 I don't even need this information!!” He hissed, pulling Todo’s arm down to stop him making the gesture.

Todo stared at him and then at Megumi and then erupted into applause wiping his eyes and hugging his friend, telling him how proud of him he was. He put his hand on Megumi's shoulder and congratulated him on his willpower and relationship, remarking that he had seen what his brother was working with and Megumi was truly strong in spirit for taking on that challenge. Megumi bent his finger back nearly breaking it and told him to never speak to him nor touch him again if he wanted to keep the other fingers.

2. The downfalls of understanding Riceball language.

Toge sat beside Yuta and leant his head on his shoulder before looking up at him, a gentle smile on his face.

Yuta smiled back. “I missed this. It's nice getting to hang out together in person again isn't it?”

Toge: Salmon, salmon, tuna mayo. (It was nicer getting to spend the morning in bed together with your dick in my throat)

Yuta coughed turning red. Megumi stared off to the side pretending he hadn't understood that.

Yuji stared at all of them. “Aw man did Toge say something funny again? I gotta get my head around that speech of his, it's so cool.

Megumi shook his head.

3. Not even safe at home.

Gojo walked into the kitchen and took his shirt off sitting next to his husband.

“Baby you are not gonna BELIEVE the size of the spot on my back”

Geto put his book down looking interested “bigger than the one on your thigh the other day?”

Gojo nodded "for sure!” He sat facing away from his partner. “Go slow though please it's gonna sting like a bitch I just know it”

Geto sighed and squeezed at his back and popped it. He showed Gojo how much was on his finger.

“Woah there was so much!” Geto said.

“Told you!” Gojo said. “Ooooh you know I'm kind of in a mood to be pampered, think you can do my eyebrows later, like tweezing them?” Gojo said, leaning his head back onto his partner's lap.

Geto smiled “Ok baby, and wanna do face masks like last time?”

Gojo nodded and clapped his hands together happily.

Megumi shut the fridge door behind them.

“Sometimes I think it would be less gay if I walked in on you two actually fucking” he said and took his coke upstairs.

“Oh go kiss your boyfriend you homophobe!” Gojo yelled after him, Geto laughed.

4. Girl talk

“No lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, while i gasp for air and scream the lord’s prayer, he can have me!!!!” Nanako wailed at the TV lying on the floor pretending to claw at the screen watching the new Jungkook video again for the 15th time.

“He is pretty cute,” Tsumiki smiled.

“He could spit on my face and I'd thank him,” Mimiko sighed.

Megumi looked down at his salad and threw it in the bin deciding to only visit the kitchen when he was sure no one else was there.

5. Couples counselling

“Look I get it, I know you have an image to maintain but can we please just talk about it” Nobara said following Maki who sighed and stood up ahead.

“No, can we please just drop it”

“It's ok to be embarrassed but honestly I think it's really cute you're always the little spoon! I'm sorry I called myself your jetpack!”

“Panda is never gonna let me live this down,” Maki said. “And you can stop smirking too!” She yelled pointing her staff at Megumi who raised his hands and backed away going down the other way through the corridor.

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Brother body part swap part 1:

My teen brother after finishing high school and going to the same college as me as a freshman, went though a major transformation inbetween summer break and starting college

In high school he had a lot of friends, more than I do now as a senior, and I never really herd him talk about sex or getting with anyone when he was in high school.

But whenever we’d go home after school and he’d have his friends over, they would always talk about how and who they were banging that week, my brother always had the most outlandish stories, talking about how how he’d use his big dick to fuck whatever brode it was in his story, all the moaning, and getting his face shoved into her boobs

I was kinda proud of him, I’ve only been with 3 girls myself, but what I was even more proud about was hearing how he had a big dick, I’ve seen my father’s one time on accident when I was a kid and was afraid that’s what I would peak at. luckily I’m probs 3 or 4 inches bigger than my old man. I was worried my brother didn’t get laid any in school cause he had my fathers dick size, but I guess I was wrong

I envied my brother benji , i always thought he was better looking than me, and I don’t know how he went from the popular class clown to one of the supposed fuck boi’s on campus in such a short time

His friends always thought it was a bit weird that benji would invite me to their smoke sesh and get High while they told their latest stories and I never seemed to have any

I typically would just zone out and watch the tv, as their stories would just become white noise to me while getting high

One day after his friends left, benji shortly came back and sat down next to me while I was zooted watching Rick and Morty, he was always better functioning while high, probs from smoking in high school too, so he had a couple years of experience, I only started smoking with him cause I was curious and didn’t have a connect myself…

Benji started talkin to me, and started asking some weird questions, but I tried not to pay any attention to them since I was so into my show

“Hey Christian, I have a question for you” he said trying not to seem needy for a answer

“Yuh” I said still staring at the tv

“Um how old were you when you first got laid” he said putting his hands together and leaning forward focusing on the tv with me

“17” I said

“And ummm… how big is your dick”

“Uh like 9 inches…. Um…. You?” I said Tilting my head a bit to look at him

“Um… 7, myself, why do you ask” he said seeming uneasy

“Bruh, chill, I don’t care, you asked first after all, what’s the problem bro, something wrong?” I said, turning back to the tv

“Um, I mean I guess, some girls I’ve been with kinda think I’m small” it was as if I could feel him sink into the couch after he said that

“Nah bro, your good, I mean your pretty good looking, no homo. And 7 inches isn’t small, bigger than average, she’s probs just a college slut, there’s always someone bigger. Now let’s just watch the rest of this, and finish the season haha” i said laughing and reaching over to give him a brotherly tapping on his chest

“You think I’m good looking? haha thanks bro. just one more question, what’s your body count, or like how often do you get laid” he said laughing seeming to return to his happy self

“Um like 2 or 3” I said

“2 or 3 girls or times” he said looking directly at me shocked

“Times bro, now shut up, we can talk about this later” i said annoyed now

Thankfully benji decided to shut up for while… but I did decide to knock on his door before we both went to bed, so we can get up early and drive to campus…

***knock knock knock***

“hey bro, you good?” I said looking at him sitting down on his bed biting his lip, hair dangling down looking at his phone.

“Ya Chris, I’m good…” benji said not really seeming like he was in a good place

“Aye you sure ben? You know I’m here for you right? You’re my favorite little brother you know?” I said smirking

“I’m your only little brother” he said seeming to cheer up a bit”

“Ya I know” I said still standing at his door frame

“May I come in?”

“Ya”

I stepped into his room, which was kinda a mess but I don’t really blame him, my room was kinda the same when I was his age

“So um about some of the things you were talking to me about earlier, what was that about?” I said taking a seat in one of Beni’s gaming chairs, swinging it around so I can look at him

“Um it was nothing… just, some girl problems…. You know what I mean?” He said looking kinda sad at me

“I mean ya, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my heart broken before but I’m not like you Brosif, it almost seems like you and your buddies have a game going on to see who can fuck the most girls or something haha.” I said trying to relate to him

“That’s the problem bro” he said tossing himself on his bed but still facing his head towards me so I can here him talk

“I can get with chicks no problem, but none of them seem to wanna date me for some reason, and the few I have dated, cheated on me with guys they said had bigger dicks, said I wasn’t enough for them” he said looking very distraught now clinching a pillow to his chest

I felt bad for my bro, it seems he’s really trying, but just can’t find the right girl, I know how it feels to hurt like that.

“Man, like I said earlier, they must just be sluts if that’s all they care about bro, don’t stress about it bro, I’m sure in a couple years you won’t think about any of them again” i said walking over and putting a hand on his shoulder

“ but I don’t wanna wait years, I wanna form a connection with someone that cares for me bro, it fucking sucks” benji said as I saw a tear slip out his closed eyes

“I’m sorry man, maybe I can try to hook you up with one of my exes bro, some of them have told me they thought you were the cute brother anyways haha, they might be interested, you always liked hanging out with me and my girlfriends right?”

“Ya” he said voice trying not to break

“Ok then, I’ll start work on it tomorrow, get a good night sleep bro” I said heading to the door”

“And um, benji, just know, your never lonely as long as you have family, your a good person, good night, love you bro” i said closing the door heading back to my room

Once back in my room I hopped on my instagram, and was scrolling though posts when I saw a post from benji’s fanstagram (fake instagram account) where he shared a link about some necklace that looked kinda cool but clearly wasn’t real (the material I mean, definitely didn’t look like real silver). I checked the comments and I guess it was suppose to be some magic prop from a show or something, came with warning labels and all, but what does a necklace need a warning label for? Ya know what I mean haha?

Anyways the necklace was SUPPOSEDLY enchanted by a witch, and the wearer could swap bodies parts with other people when he wore the necklace and put on the clothes of the person he wanted to swap with.

I thought it was weird but decided to go ahead and purchase it anyways for him, sometimes ya just need to get a gift for one of your family members, plus I mean his birthday was in a few days anyways, luckily the deliver date was a day before his birthday, talk about coming in clutch haha.

The next day came by and was kinda uneventful, for some reason I was just really excited to see benji’s face when I give him his gift

I did however was able to get one of my ex’s “Beth” to agree to go on a date with him, even better was it was gonna be on his birthday too, guess I got him 2 gifts haha, when I told him he seemed really excited telling me I’m the best brother anyone could ask for

Another day gos by uneventful, benji telling me about all the idea’s he has for his date, asking me questions like what I think she’d like… I told him, “just be you, maybe hang out for a bit, dinner if she gets hungry, perhaps take her to the lake and go for a swim” I said winking at him

“How am I gonna get there? It’s be kinda weird if you drove us, also kinda pathetic if she has to drive us” he said seeming like he was trying to hint at something

I rolled my eyes and tossed my keys at him “duh bro, you can borrow my car I guess while you go on your date, don’t fucking scratch it tho, you know mustangs aren’t cheap”

“Seriously bro? Your gonna let me drive the stang? What’s the catch, why are you being so nice all of a sudden” he said squinting his eyes at me

“No reason bro, it’s your birthday, that’s like 1 of the 2 days a year I legally have to be nice to you, what you don’t wanna drive it?” I said raising an eye at his question

“No!, No!, I do! It was just a question that’s all” he said back peddling

The rest of the night went as usual, play’ed some games, did homework, kept checking the mail all the way till 9 pm waiting for benji’s gift to come, it’d be ashame for it to arrive after his birthday, not really a birthday gift then is it?

The next morning I got dressed and ready to go to campus, benji was the first one out as usual and just waited in the car, but he did yell out the door that I had a package on the step

“This is it” I thought to myself “it arrived, good thing too, I’ll give it to him after school” my internal monologue continued as I ran down the stairs to grab it and ran back up to my room

I opened it up and saw the necklace in a plastic baggy, aslong with instructions…. “Who needs instructions for a necklace like seriously? How hard is it to put a necklace on haha”

It did look pretty cool, I decided to open it and try it on, my head was too big to just slide it over my head, so I had to unclasp it and clasp it again around my neck

Looking in the mirror on my dresser I decided it really did look good, and I should have gotten myself one too, that way we could match, but too late now I guess, could always check and see if they still have any later I suppose

For some strange reason I thought back to what the description said of the necklace, about how it could supposedly swap body parts by wearing other people’s cloths, and I know it’s dumb, but you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat.

I didn’t have any of benji’s spare clothes in my room, but he did leave a pair of his shoes in my room from hanging out with me a lot

I took mine off including socks since if there’s a chance this would work, socks would probs mess with it, cause you know, socks are actually touching you, shoes just touch your socks

I managed to fit my feet in benji’s smaller shoes, they weren’t that much smaller than mine, but with me wearing size 12’s and him wearing 10.5’s they were small enough that I had to curl my toes to fit in them

I stood up with disappointment as I took a few steps and still felt my feet curled up…. I decided to sit back down and take them off. But when I did I was met with toenails that looked like they haven’t been clipped in over a month, strange since I just clipped mine last week…

A spark of hope was reignited as I noticed they seemed a bit smaller too

I stuck my foot back into benji’s vans and was shocked that I didn’t have to curl them to fit now… maybe I just had them so tense the first time I couldn’t feel that I didn’t need to curl them anymore…

I decided maybe this could be another gift for benji? Maybe let him live as the older brother for a week or something? If that’s what he wants of course…

I knew we were gonna be late to class if I spent too much time fucking off, so I decided to rush to benji’s room kicking his shoes off and striping. I opened his closet and grabbed a shirt and pair of pants and threw them on. I saw a pair of dirty underwear on the ground but decided against it, I feel like that would be too weird having my brothers junk

After waiting with my eyes closed for half a minute I opened them and saw that I looked a bit shorter, I mean after all benji was 5’10 compared to my 6’ so not to much of a difference. I decided to take my shirt off just to make sure I’m not crazy and saw my new chest and immediately knew it worked, I use to have a treasure tail on my stomach but not anymore sense benji could never grow one, plus my arms looked a bit thicker, not fat or anything, benji was far from that, but more like it looked like he went to the gym… once a week haha… not to mention benji weighed maybe 5 or 10 pounds more than me dispute being a couple inches shorter, I could see he, er I guess, I now had the beginnings of a faint 4 pack, I mean I had abs myself but they were from how skinny I use to be.

Now the Only issue, is I still had my old face, and I know benji didn’t wear any hats so that was an issue

Truthfully I wasn’t sure this would even work, not because I don’t believe in magic, I mean the shoe part proved me wrong, but because a lot of his clothes are hand me downs from me, but I guess aslong as he’s worn them it works?

I went back though his closet and found a hoodie that I’ve seen him wear before, I decided to put it on and zip it up, I put the hood over my head and pulled the strings so it covered as much of my face as possible and waited

“Please work, please let this count as a head article” i said outloud waiting

Wasn’t that long till I felt something touching my eyes

I let go of the strings and pulled back the hood still facing the mirror

“Yes! It worked” I said seeing benji’s face and much longer hair than mine

I was shocked to hear his voice, it definitely wasn’t mine but didn’t sound exactly like benji ether,

“is this how benji sounds to himself” i said aloud making faces in the mirror trying to get use to this

“Well I guess they do say due to vibrations in the skull, people think their voice is actually deeper than it actually is” I thought to myself as I tied benji’s shoes on and ran back to my old room and grabbing my old pair of shoes

Even tho this is crazy, I’m still thoughtful and knew benji must be feeling the shoe swap, if he hasn’t already noticed the rest of the swap

I ran down stairs and passed my mum on the way out “benji, I thought you all left already” she said not even bothering to stop preparing breakfast for when dad wakes up

“Ya I just had to grab something real quick, bye love you mom” I said continuing my way out the door

I got outside and continued running to the drive way, I got close enough and could see myself passed out in the passenger seat. I got closer and opened the passenger side door, seeing benji simply took his shoes off and relaxed instead of questioning what was happening

I tossed my old shoes at him and tossed my pair of keys on the lap waking him up

“Your driving Christian” i said winking at him

“Bro, what the fuck, why am I looking at myself” benji said pulling down the sun visor to check the mirror

“Holy shit, I’m you Christian! How is this possible” he said feeling his face

I pulled the necklace out from being tuck under the hoodie and shook it

“Remember this necklace you wanted?” I said still dangling the necklace

“You got it? And it actually works? Holy shit bro, this is crazy” benji said reaching into his pants feeling around

“Aye bro I think you forgot underwear” he said looking up at me

“Nah, I just felt like it’d be too weird to swap that, now any ways get up, your driving.” I said trying to get into the passenger side

Benji got in the driver seat and started it up, waiting 30 seconds for the engine to warm up before sticking it into drive

“So um, how long does this last? Or how long are we gonna stay swapped” benji said keeping his eyes on the road

“Oh I don’t know, there was a instructions manual but I didn’t think we’d need that, so As long as you want bro, aslong as it’s within reason, so could be for a day, could be for a week or 2, but I’m definitely not doing a whole month haha… you can consider this a 3rd birthday gift I guess”

“Jeez thanks bro, but um, you do remember I have a date tonight right?” He said a bit annoyed at the timing of the swap

“Well, I mean we can always swap back after class. Or…. We could stay like this and I could go on your date for you maybe? That way I can do everything possible to make sure she wants a 2nd date and continue seeing you, ya know since you always seem to fuck shit up haha” i said laughing

“Not funny dude, but ya I guess maybe it would be a good idea for you to go as me, you’d know what she would like, and could probs seal the deal with getting her to date me” benji said pulling off the road into campus to park

“Sounds like a deal then” I said reaching over to shake his hand

“Deal” he said

After benji turned the car off and we got out I decided to make a joke about the situation before I headed to his class’s

“Have a good day Christian” i said putting emphasis on the name

“You too benji” he said doing the same

I went to benji’s classes and tried doing my best impression of him, especially sense one of benji’s friends that we typically smoke with decided to come sit by me

I decided to talk with him and boast about how I got a hot date with Christian’s ex “Beth” to which benji’s friend just absolutely lost it

“You got a date with Beth? Dude that’s insane, I always thought she was your brothers hottest ex, you tots gotta get pics and share them with me bro” he said dabbing me up

“I don’t know bro, I might just keep them all for myself dude haha” I told him smirking

The rest of the day went as usual, or as usual as I can imagine for a day as benji. My date with Beth wasn’t for another 2 hours but I was still gonna prepare and go though my brothers closet to find the right outfit for this.

The time came and I went to grab my keys from benji, since he still had them on him personally.

I did everything I thought Beth would like, and it worked, took her for a early dinner, then a movie, and after wards she still wanted to hang out. I proposed going for a swim down by the lake which she seemed down for. We drove back to her house first since it was closer and she needed to pick up one of her bikinis and then headed back to my place since I would also need to get a pair of swimming trunks or shorts to swim in.

I went up to my room and saw benji sitting there playing one of my games, he paused it when he herd me come in

“How’d he go, does she still wanna go out” he said turning around seeming nervous

“Oh ya bro, it’s still not over, I’m just here to grab some shorts cause she wants to go down to the lake and go for a swim before it gets real dark… do you think it’d be wrong of me if I tried to fuck her on the first date? ” i said grabbing a bag and putting a pair of my black shorts in there and some towels

“Nah bro, I mean it does sound like something I’d do, so she might be expecting it” benji said smiling at me

Before heading out I left my bag next to benji as I went to take a piss, I could hear him leave the room and come back in a short amount of time. I came out the bathroom and saw him stuffing something into the bag

“What’s that” I said walking closer to grab my bag”

“Uh just some condoms, can’t be too safe right bro” he said stepping back seeming a bit weird, like I caught him doing something he shouldn’t

“Uh ya thanks bro, stopping at a store to buy some might have been weird if she knew I was planning to do this haha” i said laughing grabbing the bag and heading out

It was only a short drive to the lake, I parked and we got out together but decided to separate for a bit to change out of our clothes.

I got behind a tree and opened my bag, I couldn’t seem to find my shorts, I pulled out my phone and turned the flashlight on, pulling the towels out and found something I wasn’t expecting, my shorts weren’t in there but a pair of of benji’s orange, white and black striped swimming trunks.

“God damit benji, I told you I didn’t wanna swap dicks, that’s fucking weird, but I guess I have no choice now” I thought to myself as I kicked my jeans off and slide his swimming shorts on

I started headed to the lake but realized something felt off, my dick didn’t want to sit as usual, which I guess is understandable sense I’m not use to having my brothers dick. I decided to check the damage out and pulled my shorts down a bit grabbing my smaller soft cock

“Fuck bro I’m like 5 inches soft, but benji is like 3.5 soft, at best, I kinda wanna say closer to 3… he just must be a grower” I thought to myself as I herd Beth yell “hurry up benji, I’m waiting for you”

I could see Beth in the water, I got in to get closer to her but once I was waist high in, I saw she just undone the top half of her bra letting it float towards me “ops” she said giggling covering her mouth

After seeing that I hurried up and proceeded to go deeper into the water till I reached her. “Oh my god, your so gorgeous in this light” i said as I went in for a kiss

Beth allowed it and got close enough to wrap her arms around me and kiss me back “funny, your brother once used the same line on me, but to be honest, I always thought you were the cuter one” she said inbetween making out with

“Haha, thanks I get that a lot” I said feeling my dick starting to grow. It must have touched her legs as we were kicking to stay afloat cause she knew where I wanted to go next “should we take this to the shore” she said guiding me to it anyways

“You know what you’re doing?” She said sliding the bottom half of her bikini down exposing herself to me

“Ya, I just hope your ready for this, I’m almost as big as Christian haha” i said pulling my pants down just to have to bite my pride with shock mixed in

Benji had lied to me about his size, he wasn’t 7 inches, no where near, I looked down was greated by my new 5 inches of glory

I could see Beth’s facial expression change a bit as she covered her mouth

Before she could laugh or say anything I decided to just stick it in

Truthfully I could see why a lot of girls passed on benji, I bet over half the campus is bigger than Ben, not to mention it was mere minutes and I was ready to blow

This is kinda embarrassing as fuck, I don’t want benji to remember me as the one that fucked up his date and chance of a long term relationship cause I couldn’t hold it on

I tried my best to remember where her g-spot was and eventually I found it, but I just couldn’t seem to hit it all the way, I simply didn’t have the length anymore, I was able to get quite a few moans out of her when I would get far enough in to graze her spot, but I’m not quite sure if it was because I was reaching it, or if they were moans out of sympathy trying to keep my ego in check

Another couple minutes go by and she starts pulling my body closer trying to get me as close and as far as she could get me inside of her, she was moaning telling me not to stop, and I tried not, if I could have lasted another 15 seconds, I might have gotten her to cum first or as the same time as me, but I couldn’t, I herd a metallic click from around my neck just as I started to cum and lose my rhythm right before I got her to finish.

“Fuck I said” panting pulling out and laying next to her “ I know I almost had you finish, I just barely beat you to the punch, I’m so sorry, not very gentleman like of me to not let you cum first haha” I said laughing trying to defuse the situation

“Well, you certainly don’t last as long as your brother, nor are you anywhere near as big, but I guess you did the best with what you had to work with, your lucky your cute you know, or else I might consider this a one night stand” she said laying there with her eyes closed for a few moments

“Ok, well, let’s get you home I suppose” i said getting up and offering her a hand up

I dropped her off walking her to her door, able to steal a good night kiss before separating for the night

I drove back home in a fury, benji almost fucked this up and he wasn’t even the one on the date!

I rushed up the stairs once I got home and went straight to my room, I opened the door ready to yell at benji but was left silent after being caught off guard. When I opened the door, I saw benji in my body, panting looking down at himself, no pants on, underwear halfway pulled down and cum falling off my big dick

“You didn’t!” I said loudly surprising him

“Uh uh uh, Christian, this isn’t what it looks like” he said panicking

“Really? Cause it looks like you swapped my shorts out for yours, I come back after my date almost exploding when I told her I’m almost as big as my brother, which was a let down for her when she saw that I’m only 5 inches hard! And walked in right as you finished jerking off in my body!” I said angrily

“Uh uh, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself, I noticed my dick didn’t feel right, so I checked it out, and then I got hard from looking at it, and I just couldn’t help myself” benji said back tracking

“What ever dude, your lucky Beth still wants to go out with you, we’re fucking done with this swap, get out” i said grabbing some of my clothes and a spare beanie off the ground

“I thought you said we could stay swapped for atleast a week!?” Benji said defensively moving to the door

“Ya well you forfeited that when you took my shorts and swapped them with your own, I told you I didn’t want to swap junks with you, who wants a smaller dick? Not to mention balls. I didn’t wanna lose 2 inches and instead you forced me to lose 4. Now get out!” I said slamming the door on him

I kicked my shoes off stripped naked putting on all my old clothes, and layed on my bed waiting a couple minutes to swap back before I got up

I opened my eyes and looked at the mirror positioned so that I can see myself on my bed. I was surprised to still be greated by benji’s shit eating face

“What the fuck” I said outloud heading to benji’s room to get him to put the necklace on and swap us back

I walked in and he acted shocked to still see me as him

“Did you change your mind” he said smirking

“No as you can see I’m wearing my old clothes but nothing happened” i said trying to unclasp the necklace to give it to him but failing. “Now help me get this necklace off”

Benji came over and tried unclasping to no prevail.

Benji laughed and said “hold on” as he yanked the necklace making the clasp break so the necklace would come undone

Benji made a big ole show about picking up some of his clothes and putting them on before loosely tangling the necklace so it was kinda tied around his neck “did you ever read the instructions” he said trying not to smile but failing

“No, what could be so important about stupid instructions for a necklace” i said

“A magic necklace, and well, in the instructions it says that part of the magic is if you desire to keep the parts you have, all you have to do is cum, ether jerk off, sex, whatever gets you to blow” he said looking at me with a full blown shit eating grin

“And well, you already had sex with Beth in my body right?”

“Ya” I said slowly realizing what this ment

“And I already jerked off right before you got back. Which means nothing is probably gonna happen” he said

We waited there for a solid two minutes before I finally broke

“So you knew if you jerked off we wouldn’t be able to swap back? What the fuck is wrong with you dude, now we’re stuck like this! We gotta find a way to swap back, I don’t wanna be known as the small dick little brother” I said tears starting to form in my eyes

“Let me reiterate something you said to me not to long ago, “”who wants a smaller dick”” well not me, when I saw you weren’t actually bullshitting about having a 9inch dick, I decided I don’t actually mind having your body, knowing you’d probably try and bang your ex in my body, I decided to seize the opportunity and jerk off in yours so I can keep this” benji said putting his hand in his pants

“So if I was you, id get use to being the little brother in more than 1 way benji, cause luckily for me, this is permanent now haha” my brother said laughing to me, putting emphasis on his name.

[mr-something-0r-another]

I tend to do mostly one shots, I say as more than half of the fics I have up currently have more than one chapter, but I'm wanting to do something bigger. Just not sure which to start with. And yes, I have most of these planned out, as well as begun writing them. I'm just not sure what I should focus on currently. And no, these aren't the official names. (I struggle with titles)

BirdFlash Slowburn HS/College AU:

BirdFlash w/ powers and superhero stuffs, and they also go to the same highschool. Current plan is to only have Dick and Wally attend the same highschool, but we've got some other supers of their generation in the hero side. Super slow, and long. Identity shenanigans, Dick is a theatre kid, they won't confess until in or after college (but don't worry it, opens on senior year), they will be Robin and Kid Flash at the beginning but will morph into Nightwing and Flash just cause I want to play with a little bit of cannon. probably gonna be super long, and will take me a year or more to complete.

Captain Marvel Lawsuit:

Both carol and billy (in their respective universes) facing lawsuits and media backlash, because they copied off of a fictional superhero. So, we've got the Avengers helping Carol, and Jon and Damian and some Justice League helping Billy. In Carol's (the Marvel universe) DC is the main comics company. And In Billy's (the DC universe) Marvel is the main comics company. Idk, just thought it'd be funny cause it's a real lawsuit between DC and Marvel. And I don't really like them calling Billy 'Shazam', because that's his power activation thing and it just seems weird, he can't even introduce himself as a hero.

Avengers Vacay Shenanigans:

Basically a crackfic of shenanigans. Like, they're staying at a rented cabin for a week or so. And what place would have enough rooms? So roommates, I think they might almost die for the sake of breakfast, and there may be the slightest bit of angst (which will just be me projecting about my own angsty mac and cheese experience onto Clint), other than that relatively fluffy shenanigans that would ensue on one of their vacations. I'm definitely pushing both friendships and relationships in this one. Current plan includes WinterFalcon, estabed Scott/Hope, Clint/Loki, platonic Science Bros, platonic Steve + Bucky + Sam, platonic Clint + Sam (honestly, geeks), platonic Bucky + Loki (admiring their geeks), platonic Natasha + Thor (competitive besties?), ect.

HalBarry Domestic Dreams:

Similar to a Superbat idea from frownyalfred,(https://www.tumblr.com/frownyalfred/738620242981470208/fic-idea-a-world-where-clark-and-bruce-both-get?source=share), like I think that's where this idea originated from. Simply thought it months later, and had to hunt down the og for this post. ANYWAYS, Barry and Hal have been having the same dreams, a continuous plot of a domestic life between the two. But it's kinda weird to mention to your coworker that you've been having ultra realistic dreams about being in a relationship with him. right? So they both stay silent. However, they know things that they wouldn't know if it weren't for the dreams, random phrases, or actions, all that fun stuff. So, cue awkwardness. Might be a bit of a slowburn but not as much as the BirdFlash one.

BatArrow bonding over billionaires, kids, vigilantes, and the fucking media:

the media basically forces Bruce and Ollie into a relationship, after seeing them having lunch together once and that was a business meeting. They end up fake dating, for the media, then they start to see the benefit of having another single father billionaire around. So they bond over that, and start to become official. Eventually they have the inevitable superhero secret identity reveal, and turns out their dating the coworker that they only tolerate. But they learned to love each other in the hero side too. They just deserve some love. Where else to get it from other than your childhood friend/repeated hookup/coworker?

[ineffectualdemon]

I'm writing a Cumplane fanfic only it's the 17 hours I under the out of hours doctors/emergency departments only I'm Airplane and my Husband is Cucumber

And I like I'm currently a third of the way through the 17 hours and I have barely changed anything, including the characters, from actual events

And part of me is "I shouldn't post this" but part of me is "this is legitimately funny and also it's just that the situation was such a Situation that I can't make it any more than it already is

In fact the major changes are some of the wilder details because they involve, potentially, real mental health crisis of strangers. And I'm not going to exploit that for a fic

My own situation absolutely. Other people's? Not so much

Still not sure if I will share it but I will at least give one of my fav quotes so far: (note: Airplane is a trans guy in this fic with chronic health conditions. Also they are only referred to as Cucumber and Airplane)

1.

Rather than waiting until 4am again he decided to finally drag Cucumber out of his Binghe Cave, or Cucumber referred to it: “My bedroom you freak! I’m NOT obsessed with the protagonist of your shitty novel!”

“Bro! Bro this doesn’t feel right!” Airplane whined from where he lay curled on bed clutching his abdomen.

“No, you don’t say?” Cucumber said because if he stopped being a sarcastic bitch he’d die, “You should call the medical advice line.” he continued with a little more humanity.

2.

“What I want is for my uterus and cervix to stop being a dick.” Airplane grumbled. Cucumber actually stopped the car to give him an incredulous look which is when it dawned on Airplane what he’d actually said.  “Wait - No! I want the reverse!” Cucumber started driving again with a shake of his head as he laughed. “You’re such a fucking dumbass.”  “The worst part was my instinct was to correct that to say I want them to stop being an ass but if they were an ass I’d have a much bigger problem to deal with.”  “Ewww stop talking!” 

3

“If they ask me to pee in one of their sexist sample tubes I’m refusing because of my sciatic nerve being a bitch.” Airplane declared interrupting Cucumber’s monologue

4.

“Fuck, Marry, Kill: The 9th, 10th, and 11th Doctors?” “I wouldn’t do the first with any of them! I’m straight!” Cucumber actually said with his own lying mouth. 

[olympushit]

Keeping up with the Olympians

#kuwto

Episode 3:

Preview: Triton's request to be a pornstar upsets Poseidon a lot, but creates a new beef with Eros that claims he would be better. Eros, trying to find an ally, accidentally walks in to his parents doing the deed. Hermes finds Apollo getting naughty with a stripper. Zeus is losing it, and many more to follow on this unholy episode!

Scene 1: (Poseidon's grand sea getaway)

Poseidon's confessional:

I still don't know what to do with Triton's idea. Him being a pornstar? With that dick? He's gonna be a laughing stock!

Poseidon: Son, I don't think this is a good idea.

Triton: So you don't support my dream?

Poseidon: It's not a dream, it's a bullshit!

Triton's confessional:

This negativity, the rejection! I can't! I'm gonna prove everyone wrong!

Triton: I'm done here! You never support me! I wanna do it and I will! I'll be a good pornstar!

Amphitrite: WHAT?

Triton: Shit...

___________

Scene 2: (Eros)

Eros' confessional:

Triton? A pornstar? Don't make me laugh! He is just so lame!

Triton: As if you are any better!

Eros: I'm the god of sex! Why wouldn't I?

Triton: Never overestimate yourself!

Eros' confessional:

This little bitch thinks he owns me? How old is he? Five? I'll show him!

Eros: If my judgment doesn't satisfy you, then let's ask the goddess of love herself!

Triton's confessional:

Aphrodite will help me for sure! She is totally into such stuff and can see someone's potential!

Eros: Mom!

Triton: Aphrodite!

Eros: She must be in her room!

Triton: Get in dude!

(Scene of Ares amd Aphrodite filming a porn movie)

Eros:.......

Triton:.......

Eros' confessional:

Man! Where is the bleach! My eyes huuuurt! Aaaahhhhhh!

Triton: Man it's not that big of a deal!

Eros: How dare you talk back you twerp! This is all your fault!

Triton: You are the one who so desperately flexes his sex abilities! You are such a hypocrite!

Eros: YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Ares: Guys! If you don't wanna see the action, just close the door!

Aphrodite: And for God's sake Eros, you are doing way worse with Psyche!

Eros: Triton wants to be a pornstar!

Ares: My boner is gone!

Aphrodite: Disgusting!

------------

Scene 3: (Zeus' grand palace on Olympus)

Zeus' confessional:

Things are a lot worse! She doesn't even talk to me! This is quite heavy gor my heart! Her behavior hurts me!

Hera's confessional:

I have made his life a living hell! But I think it is high time I forgave him. I have a plan afterall!

Hera: We need to talk!

Zeus: I'm not in the mood for fighting!

Hera: But I don't wanna fight!

Zeus: Ok. What's wrong?

Hera: I will forgive you only on one condition-

Zeus: YES!

Hera: You haven't heard it yet!

Zeus: Anything for you my love!

Hera: Hephaestus! Bring me the ankle monitor detector!

Zeus: THE WHAT?

Hera: You agreed!

Zeus' confessional:

SHE IS CRAZY! PSYCHO BITCH! But at the same time so kinky! And dirty!

Hephaestus: Are you sure about it mother?

Hera: Your father agreed so...

Hephaestus: Alright! Wherever dad goes, you will get a notification about his whereabouts. There is a hidden camera and GPS!

Zeus: Oh dear lord!

Hephaestus' confessional:

I love when my inventions are practical to familial issues! It's a nice way to get back at them for the way they treat me! I have feelings too!

Hephaestus: And everytime a chick will approach dad, some x-rays will run through his body paralyzing him!

Hera: I LOVE IT!

Zeus: ATHENA! HEEEEEELP! THEY TORTURE ME! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

________________

Scene 4: (Apollo at the strip club)

Apollo's confessional:

Man! Those strippers are amazing! Look at their ass!

Hermes: HERE YOU ARE! I WAS LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU!

Apollo: I'm in the middle of something right now!

Hermes: Oh! Have fun bro!

Hermes' confessional:

Seriously, I can't get outta my mind the picture of Apollo's dick! Man! One thing, it was awkward! Two, it was big! Not bigger than Ares' but it serves its purpose!

Apollo: SERVE ITS PURPOSE! WTF!

Hermes: I'm not lying!

Apollo: And stop talking about Ares!

Hermes: Oh yeah I forgot he is your ex!

Apollo: My night is ruined!

Apollo's confessional:

Ares and me have past. A really good one! But he chose that Aphrodite bitch! I have a way to get back at him though.....

____________

Scene 5: (Athena's grand palace)

Athena's confessional:

I am truly hurt by Artemis' behavior! I don't know what got into her! It's like I don't really know her anymore!

Athena: She literally hurt my feelings!

Hestia: Poor baby! Maybe she was having a bad day!

Athena: I can understand that, but it's been 2 days and we haven't talked!

Hestia: Really? This long?

Athena: Yes! And it's frustrating because I wanted her opinion about the Henderson-Hasselbalch equation! Should I take the simple form or the logarithmic one?

Hestia: I'm confused!

Hestia's confessional:

I'm not sure about this conflict. I wish with all my heart to solve their problem, because I am really sick and tired of this! And I can't take another lecture about that Henderson equation! Jeez girl, get a life!

Artemis walks into the room

Artemis: Hey! Am I interrupting something?

Hestia: Uhm-

Athena: What do you want?

Artemis: I wanted to apologize for snapping at you earlier! I was having a really bad day and I wanted some company! Will you forgive me?

Athena: I don't know! Should I?

Artemis: Please! Ypu know I didn't mean it!

Athena: I still can't get over the fact that you took Ares' side on our big fight!

Artemis: It was in the spur of the moment! You know how much I value and love you!

Athena: Why would I believe that?

Artemis: Seriously now? We are besties!

Athena: That makes it even worse!

Artemis' confessional:

She always insinuates stuff without getting right to the point! Ugh!

Artemis: Will you stop being dramatic? I know you want us back together!

Athena: How so?

Artemis: Athena stop playing with me! Be direct and tell me, or else I am leaving once and for all!

Athena crying: I'm sorry! Come here sissy!

Athena and Artemis hugging and crying scene

Hestia's confessional:

Ah! Those little bitches made me cry again! Such a moving scene!

------------

Scene 6: (Dionysos and Ariadne)

Dionysos: Babe! Where is my wine jug?

Ariadne: Maybe in the kitchen!

Dionysos: It's not there!

Ariadne: Look thoroughly Dio! It can't dissappear!

Dionysos: But it's not here!

Ariadne: Look at me!

Dionysos lifts his head to see Ariadne in red lingerie, holding his wine jug.

Ariadne: Come and get it!

Dionysos: NOOOOOO!

Ariadne: What?

Dionysos: It's precious! Hold it with care!

Ariadne's confessional:

While I enjoy my life with Dionysos, sometimes he becomes a little paranoid out of nowhere! I just wanted to spice things up and he ended up all evening cleaning his wine jug! Seriously, what about my pipes! They need cleaning too!

Dionysos continues frantically cleaning the bottle

Dionysos: I'm done! Baby! I'm coming!

Sees Ariadne into Pyjamas asleep.

Dionysos' confessional:

My baby got tired! Nevermind! I'll take care of it first thing in the morning!

______________

Scene 7: (Underworld)

Hades' confessional:

My goodness! I'm a proud bottom! That woman brings me to my knees! I want her so fucking bad!

Persephone: Good morning honey!

Hades: Good morning my amazing, beautiful, kind and sexy wife!

Persephone: Oh! You love me that bad?

Hades: Hell yeah!

Persephone: Baby! We have many things to do today!

Hades: Can it wait a little?

Persephone: I don't know! I'll think about it!

Persephone's confessional:

I like teasing him! He is so cute when he is desperate! I am evil, but I enjoy a little waiting too!

Persephone: Not now! Later!

Hades: As you wish babe!

In the throne room

Persephone: What's up for today?

Minoas: Same shit! Dead people wanting to know their final destination.

Persephone: Ok let's get started.

Minoas looks at Hades

Hades: You heard her! Get started!

Persephone: So Minoas over there underestimates my queen status?

Persephone's confessional:

That little twerp! I'll show him who I am!

Hades: Next time your punishment will be to rot in Tartarus for disobeying your queen like that!

Minoas: Your Majesty, I-

Persephone: You call me that too! Understood you little pitiful judge?

Minoas: Yes, your Majesty!

Persephone: Next time you'll meet my wrath! And I am way worse than Hades!

Hades: Oh yeah! You are!

Persephone: Hades bebe! Not here!

Hades: If you go on like that I'll take you right here! In front of everyone!

Minoas: Imma head out!

Hades: You stay here!

Minoas: And do what? The cameraman with one hand?

Persephone:.......

Hades:.......

Minoas' confessional:

Ha! Take that now! Who won? Me!

---------------

There you go guys! Episode 3 is up! I'll let you know that I'm gonna be inactive for some time, because my exams are close! So enjoy this little shitty episode!

Am I the only one who thinks that Hades and Persephone are giving Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian vibez?

Till episode 4! ✌️✨🤗

[ryxmix]

HUI SHI SFW AND/OR NSFW HCS PLS IM STARVING I LOVE DRAGON CHARACTERS (I love Dan Heng especially his IL form it isn’t surprising for me 😭)

HUI SHI ; WHAT IS IT LIKE ?

pairings ; hui shi x gn!reader

warnings ; vvv soft fluff and smexy times (khehehe), nsfw and sfw headcanons, he's very soft, y'all aren't married yet but might as well be fr, double ds...

a/n ; HUI SHI WAS MY FIRST MANNNN, unfortunately bugbear has my heart BUT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAGON (maybe that's where the dan heng obsession came from...)

oh the prettiest boy, the bestest sweetest troublemaker in the world. the softest most ethereal man and yet your still probably RUNNING FROM PEOPLE EVERY DAMN TIME YOU MEET HIM IN THE HALLWAYS.

it's always the pretty ones fr...

pushing that aside...he's the MOST polite sweetest pretty boy around everyone but you KNOW he's shit talking people behind their back with you every. single. time.

he's not only a BOYFRIEND. he's a best friend. he's girlypop fr but only for his sweetest bestest s/o ever because he's amazing.

people probably won't have any idea you're together unless they really observe. you're his FIRST close friend, and that's fine that's cool, but people still think you're JUST friends...

until they notice the way he looks at you. completely focused, not interrupting not arguing, smiling. not arguing?? hui shi?? no QUESTIONS?? they don't need to see the constant hand holding and the clothes exchanging and messy clothes when you enter shared classes (oo lala, hon hon hon *french*) to know that you're dating or AT LEAST that he's enamoured with you.

our man is an over-thinker, so all though he's very open around you, he's very hesitant at first in the relationship. doesn't know when to touch, what to say, how to really show that he really really likes you.

you'll have to take initiative at first, be very verbal and very slow with the heading into the romantic affection, but when you get to the comfortable point HE WILL SMOTHER YOU WITH LOVE.

not a big fan of pda, but he's very content on giving you love at home. because of the excess of cutesy dates he takes you on, people are quick to assume that he's more of an acts of service person than physical touch, BUT HE'S THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS 💪💪💪

he gets into trouble with certain people because he's a little bit of an interrogator, so he'll come into your dorm room with the most beautiful smile on his face, flowers in hand, pressing chaste kisses to your lips and go, "Please hide me, my dearly beloved."

Get your mans fr.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

bro has the ddd (double dragon dicks)

YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT A DRAGON MAN AND NOT GIVE HIM THE DOUBLE DS?? nah you don't know me fr

I wouldn't say he's like big big, more on the above-average size. Like maybe 5.5 inches when not hard and 6 when it is?? That is MORE than enough so you are set.

I'd say the second one is a lil bigger than by like .2 .3, barely noticeable but it's there.

does not DARE put both in ever, one already has him panting and two is just going to hurt 😔

he will go feral and let out the cutest softest whines ever if you help him out with d no. 2

very much a soft service dom!!! you are priority no. 1!!

i'd say he might have a blind fold kink. because of the vibes.

he makes love and makes love ALONE

also don't think he has the biggest libido nor is ready to go the pound town every day. more of a healthy amount, like maybe once or twice a week, less during exam times.

he will always make sure to ask whether you're still doing well during sex, always stopping to press kisses to your neck

his horns are a lil sensitive, so kiss them or brush your fingers against them is fine, but he is NOT comfortable with holding them tight for support. once or twice is okay!!

he is a hand holder do i need to explain?

very teasing but in the sweetest way, will make the both of you laugh during prep and aftercare because he's the man!!!

aftercare is just talking nice relaxing showers and then taking a nap. it's the best thing ever (bubble baths)

idk what to say man he's just...the sweetest.

(i am not the biggest hui shi girlie so i'm sorry if it wasn't up to your taste!!! now bring siri + eleni, luca, OR MY BBG BESTEST BOY EVIL PSYCHOPATH BOOGEYMAN BUGBEAR and I think I'll be able to them better)

©ryxmix

[peanutbubba]

AWESOME SAUCE TA-TA'S??? YOU'RE KILLING ME 😭😭

No, because you are MAKING ME INTO A STALKER!! Our silly's match too well! Usually, I just stick to Law centric stuff, but god damn it I really want more of your writing idc anymore!

This will not stop me, however, from continuing our ping pong match with bottom Law, and Imma just say it at this point, bigger s/o fucking Law while Law wear's their shirt/ any clothing of his s/o. I mean, sure, seeing his stomach bulge with their dick/strap/dildo is hot, but I don't think pants or socks get enough respect! Imagine Law trying to keep his s/o's sweat pants up while getting his stomach rearranging against a wall, but he can't tie the strings cause his hands are trembling or one is pinned to said wall. Or his legs are over his s/o's shoulders, the socks are DANGLING, and every thrusts make them slip a little further off until he cums and his legs damn near vibrate to the point they fall off.

FUCK IT, ALL THREE! Make a game out of it, he gets to choose which one to take off cause bro is SUFFOCATING, but the other two have to stay on or you stop until he gets them back on. i feel like jigsaw. The shirt is an obvious choice to keep right? NO, s/o follows to the rules, absolutely no skin on skin where the shirt covers and it can'tride up further than his stomach! Wanna get rid of the pants? Good luck keeping the socks on! WANT TO GET RID OF THE SOCKS? Weird chose because it's gonna be hard keeping those sweat pants up to s/o's standards. I want him crying by the end because every 5 minutes he has to pull something back on and his orgasm has been delayed for at least 3 times at that point. Oh and you KNOW he's still being a brat the entire time despite it!

YOU DID THIS

- ✨️💀✨️

OH MY LORD I COMPLETELY FORGOT I CALLED THEM AWESOME SAUCE TA-TA’S!

IT WAS LITERALLY SO LATE WHEN I WAS REPLYING TO YOUR SUBMISSION, I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO STAY UP WHILE WRITING THAT I JUST WROTE WHATEVER CAME TO MIND 😭

Oh my goodness, awesome sauce ta-ta’s where the hell did I come up with that??

Anywho, your ideas are literally always so hot, what the hell. I just know I’m gonna be giggling whilst writing it when I get the chance.

Will be taking notes, and I’ll probably make it into two fics since you fed me with so much beautiful inspiration.

In the meantime however, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know my next drabble does include some Law! And I also take full responsibility for this 😆.

[adultswim2021]

Titan Maximum #1: "Pilot" | September 27, 2009 - 11:30PM | S01E01

Ah, thank goodness I’m done with Robot Chicken. Now I can finally move onto greener pastures to… oh, eat shit.

TItan Maximum was created by one or some of the Robot Chicken people and animated by Shadow Machine, who animated Robot Chicken and Moral Orel and oh! So much more.  It’s fairly Robot Chicken-eseque in it’s look and humor. It’s a fairly straight-forward sitcom, parodying Voltron and shows like it. It’s more grounded than Robot Chicken; there’s no fourth-wall breaking gags and the violence isn’t as gratuitous. There’s an attempt at making the action have legitimate stakes, like you’re supposed to care about the stuff happening and root for the good guys. 

The main problem is the characters and the writing. Most of the show’s dialogue involves characters just being mean to each other. Everyone is snippy at each other, and the show mainly consists of characters being petty and combative. You almost get the sense that this is actually a show about a dystopian future where being friends is illegal.

I get that there’s a time-honored tradition of comedies that star unlikable protagonists. Make no mistake, I’m not saying all of these characters are complete dickheads. Some are bigger dicks than others, obviously. I just mean I can’t come up with a single example of two characters who seem like they have a nice, life-affirming relationship with one another. Everyone is dismissive and contentious of one another. It just feels so meaningless.

This pilot episode was a half hour and for some reason wouldn’t play properly on the Roku adult swim app, which is a terrible, terrible app. Like, literally, for some weird reason you can’t stream a lot of shit through it, and if you go to the browser version you get way more stuff. I don’t know why. The Roku app also puts an autoplay overlay over the closing credits and obscures what’s on screen, even when it’s technically still part of the episode.

That’s maybe the only thing the show has going for it, by the way: the closing credits song, which is (I assume) in Japanese and is very typical of your average poppy anime closing theme.  

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Adult Swim Shows Transition to High Definition (September 27, 2009)

In case you’re wondering, yes, I do feel bad that sometimes these little spotlights into Adult Swim’s non-episodic Miscellanea are dashed off by me, just joylessly marking the date something happened. I just sat down to type this paragraph and thought “this would’ve actually been a good thing to do research for.” I do recall this happening, though. The network had already begun future-proofing certain shows by producing them in HD. Metalocalypse, Squidbillies, Aqua Teen, and The Venture Bros. to name a few.

Also, I remember being very curious as to how 4:3 material would be handled on the network. Disappointingly, it was stretched to fill the screen. I remember people reporting that it was stretched in a manner so that the center of the screen was less warped than the edges, but I’m not sure if that was true. At the very least, I couldn’t discern such a thing. In fact, I would record certain shows on Adult Swim that were stretched on my DVD recorder, which hadn’t been calibrated to to record native 16:9 content. This meant that 16:9 stuff would wind up squished, which was an easier fix on my TV than the other way around. So it would effectively unstretch the 4:3 stuff and it looked very normal to me.

I’m not sure if they started producing the “bumps” in 16:9 before the switch. There’s definitely a noticeable difference in text size of the bumps in the early days compared to later, and I don’t know if that’s specifically attributed to the aspect ratio change or what. Also, I’m not sure why I’m wondering stuff like this out loud. Sorta makes me sound like a huge fucking loser???? (!)