#“let’s have zach kill someone’’ WHAT

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

NOOOOOOO DETECTIVE WILLIAMS WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED MORE TIME YOU AND YOUR WIFE WERE MY FAVOURITE COUPLE!!!!!!

[b4kuch1n]

bobby carruthers I understand u babe but what u have done is spilling blood all over ur sister as she watches her husband she's just learned catastrophic information about die in her arms. gods what a case

[nadvs]

push and pull (part two) (end)

pairing twin!rafe x female reader x twin!zach

summary life felt complicated enough when you started falling for zach. then you meet rafe. he’s the complete opposite of his twin brother, but he captures your attention just the same.

content warnings alcohol use, mental illness, mentions of parental abandonment

» intro post | part one

» masterlist

When Zach wakes up the next morning, he fully understands the term hangxiety.

His temples pound as he stares at his ceiling. At some point last night, he slipped from tipsy into drunk.

Thankfully, he didn’t get so wasted that he’s forgetting anything. But then again, that means every time he made an ass of himself is a memory etched into his brain.

He remembers welcoming his date. Having a decent time with her. Walking her downstairs. Her lips on his cheek when she kissed him goodbye. Feeling like something was missing, and then, that something wasn’t missing anymore when you came downstairs to let him in.

And he remembers looking over at you across the party. Wishing he was next to you. Feeling crappy for thinking about you while he was with another girl. Knowing he was idiot for thinking he could ignore his feelings for you and date someone else.

Talking to you in the elevator. Crap.

He buries his head into his pillow. Why did he blabber to you like that? His brother would kill him if he knew what he said. He probably already wants to kill him for loudly proclaiming how much he loves him in the hallway. Rafe’s not one for any sort of PDA.

Zach picks up his phone to text you: Trauma dumping to you was just a dream I had, right? Please tell me it didn’t actually happen.

You reply minutes later: you mean in the elevator? definitely a dream.

Despite his embarrassment, he smiles at his screen.

He replies: Sorry about that.

You send another text: it’s no problem. i’m guessing you have a pretty bad hangover.

He replies: Everything hurts.

You text back: make sure to hydrate and rest ok?

Zach smiles again. He can’t help but daydream about you coming over, taking care of him, cuddling him.

He’s worried about the consequences of things going wrong if he got into a relationship with you. But God, does he want you.

He replies: Ok :)

When he eventually leaves his bedroom, he sees Rafe lounging on the couch, still in his pajamas. Surprisingly, his brother actually tidied up.

It gives him hope that Rafe really is trying to improve himself. He’s had his fair share of meltdowns and Zach’s had a front row seat to all of them, watching his brother break down into tears, spiralling into his toxic, self-hating thoughts.

Once he calms down, every time, Rafe talks about how he knows he’s not a good person, that he wants to be better. But then, he sticks to his bad habits. He never gets the help he needs, even though Zach encourages him to.

Nonetheless, Zach never saw the bad in Rafe that he’s so adamant is there. At his worst, he can be violent, drunkenly throwing punches at parties, but Zach knows it’s a result of his emotional scars.

“Shit,” Rafe chuckles when he sees Zach. “You’re alive.”

“Barely.” Zach sinks onto the other side of the couch, closing his eyes as he tilts his head back. “You cleaned up for once.”

“Did you just say for once? I’m always cleaning up, asshole,” he mutters, making Zach laugh.

“I hope the neighbors don’t hate us,” Zach says. “The party got kinda loud last night.”

“This guy’s thinking about the neighbors,” Rafe says with a scoff. “The girl you were with looked like she was into you. Bet she would’ve stayed the night.”

“Maybe,” Zach says with a shrug, thinking back to his date.

Then, Rafe says he thinks you might be into him, too, considering he caught you staring. And Zach’s pulse picks up.

He loves and hates hearing that. Because if you really do like him back, it’s exciting, but that makes it even more crushing that he can’t pursue anything.

“Maybe,” Zach echoes.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Rafe laughs, thinking about how good you looked last night. “I’d jump on that if I had the chance.”

“But you don’t have the chance,” Zach murmurs. “If you love me, you won’t jump on any of my friends.”

Zach sits up and looks at his brother.

“By the way, you never said you love me back last night. I’m still waiting.”

“Yeah,” Rafe snorts. “You can keep waiting.”

────୨ৎ────

On Monday morning, you finally get a response from a student you found online who’s selling a used textbook you need.

You’d rather not go by yourself, so you text the group chat: i need to go to a stranger’s house to buy a textbook tonight. is anyone down to tag along so i’m not alone?

To your relief, Zach texts the group a minute later: I got you :)

That evening, you’re knocking on his front door. Instead of Zach, though, Rafe answers.

“Hi,” you say. “Is Zach around? He’s supposed to come with me to pick a textbook up.”

“Haven’t heard him since he got home,” he says, turning to look up the stairs. “I’ll get him.”

A minute later, Rafe comes down, keys jingling in his hand.

“He’s sleeping,” he says. “I can take you. I was about to go for a drive anyway.”

“Cool,” you say. “Thanks.”

You watch him lean over to slip on his sneakers, his frame broad and tall. It’s surprising that Zach, who’s usually reliable, forgot about your plans. And that Rafe, who you’ve come to known as hot and cold, is willing to help you.

He locks the door behind him before you make your way down the hallway together.

“He must be tired after practice,” you say, well aware of the team’s training schedule.

“Yeah, when he’s asleep, he’s out.”

You smirk to yourself, imagining Zach adorably bundled up in his bed. You already know he’s going to apologize profusely once he realizes he accidentally bailed on you.

“It’s only ten minutes away,” you tell Rafe. “I just wanted someone with me since it’s some random guy I don’t know selling it.”

“Zach didn’t offer to just buy a new one for you?” he asks.

“No,” you laugh, entering the elevator. “Why would he?”

Rafe doesn’t get Zach sometimes. It’s insane that he’s not into you, that he sleeps through plans with you, that he doesn’t offer to buy you something that probably only costs a few hundred dollars.

“Want me to?” Rafe asks. You have to laugh.

“It’s okay,” you say. “I already set all this up. Do you always offer to buy girls school supplies?”

He bites his tongue. If Zach wasn’t so adamant about m not being allowed to try to hook up with you, he’d flirt and say yes, he buys all kinds of things for beautiful girls.

“Not always,” he settles for.

The elevator doors open. You enter the parking garage and follow Rafe to his car, settling into the cushioned passenger seat. He starts the engine, then offers the cable hooked up his radio to you.

“Already know you have good taste,” Rafe says. You smile, plugging your phone in.

You’re Zach’s friend, but he figures you can be his friend, too. Because he wants to get to know what he can about you, to flatter you and joke with you and talk to you, even though the night won’t be ending with you in his bed. He has fun with you. He’ll take what he can get.

He backs out of his parking spot, putting his hand against the back of your headrest as he looks through the rear window. You gaze up at his profile, taking in just how handsome he is, how nice his cologne smells.

Rafe doesn’t know the song you put on, but he likes it. He turns forward in his seat, driving out of the garage.

You chat about your days and even though it’s small-talk, it doesn’t feel like it. There’s an ease with Rafe that you can’t really compare to with anyone else.

Still, he’s kind of intimidating, but you naturally want to keep challenging this way he makes you feel, cracking the wall he has up.

When you reach the house at the end of a dark street, Rafe parks in the driveway, turns his key and takes it out of ignition.

“You can wait here,” you offer.

“Nah,” he mumbles. He unbuckles his seatbelt. “I’m not letting you go alone.”

With Rafe standing behind you as you knock on the front door, the feeling of him protecting you is intoxicating, making your heart pound harder.

The door swings open and you greet the man you’ve been messaging. He’s holding the textbook you need and when you offer him four twenties, he looks through the bills and shakes his head.

“We said $100,” he says.

“No,” you reply. “$80. You said $80 was good.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I have the texts to prove it,” you laugh in disbelief.

“Really, man?” Rafe mutters. “Just give her the book.”

“$100,” he repeats.

“Forget it,” Rafe says. He steps forward, roughly taking your money out of his hand and pulling you by the waist. “I’ll just get you a new one.”

“No, wait,” the guy calls. “$80’s fine.”

“Get fucked,” Rafe mutters. You follow him to the car, still mentally catching up to what just happened. “Trying to scam you over twenty dollars. What a joke.”

You settle in the car, feeling Rafe’s warm, big hand curl your fingers open so he can give you your money back.

He’s fuming, beyond pissed off that someone would try to trick you like that. He’s glad you didn’t come by yourself to have to deal with this idiot alone. And he’s not sure how Zach would’ve handled it.

“How much is a new book?” he asks.

“Like, $250,” you tell him.

“I got it covered, alright?” he says. “Give me your phone.”

You comply, still a little jarred but appreciating how quickly he swept in to help you. You watch him enter digits, call himself to get your number, then hang up.

He returns your phone and takes his out, taps on your number, and quickly opens up a bank app.

“You really don’t have to,” you say.

“It’s fine.”

Within a minute, he sends you $250. It’s bizarre how he’s acting like that much money is nothing. Like he’s giving you change he owes you.

Rafe exhales slowly, starting his car again, coming down from the daze. This happens a lot. It’s like he blacks out when he gives in to his impulses.

But what can he do? He has a weak spot for you and he hates the idea of someone doing you wrong, of him not helping you when he’s totally capable of it.

He scratches his forehead. Zach’s words resonate in his head, telling him he needs to cool down and think before he does things. Sometimes his temper flares with no warning.

He’s sure he came off way too intense. He doesn’t know how to apologize for it. Before he can speak, you do.

“Can you come with me every time I have to buy something?” you say lightheartedly. It eases some of the tension in his chest.

“Was that too much?” he says, tone low.

You smile to yourself. You wouldn’t call it too much. He seems like he’s an intense, passionate person. Beneath the surface, Rafe feels more than he lets on.

“You didn’t let a guy con me, then you bought me a $250 book,” you reply with a laugh. “Trust me, you’re good. Thank you.”

Your phone buzzes with a text from Zach as you back out of the driveway. Crap I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember falling asleep. Did you come over?

You reply: all good! i figured you were exhausted. rafe went with me.

“Guess who’s awake,” you say, the smile apparent in your tone. Rafe glances over at your profile as you text back.

He hates this about himself, the envy that pushes him to be sure that Zach is so much better than him. That every girl, if given the chance, would pick his brother over him.

“So, you were going to go for a drive?” you say, tucking your phone away. Because of his kind gestures tonight, you’re pretty sure that he likes hanging out with you. “Want company?”

Rafe taps his hand against the steering wheel. Even if this is just platonic, he doesn’t want you to leave his car.

“If I can pick the music,” he says.

“You said I had good taste.”

“Mine’s better.”

You laugh, and because he held your waist just a few minutes ago, you don’t feel apprehensive to touch him. You nudge his shoulder. He smirks.

An hour goes by like a minute. When Rafe and you part, your cheeks hurt from how much you’ve been smiling and laughing with him.

You talked together nonstop, touching on the most random subjects, finding similarities and differences. You have a deep crush on him. There’s no denying it.

When Rafe watches you step out of his car, he realizes that this isn’t just attraction like he’s used to. He feels like he knows you. And he likes you. It’s exciting and scary.

When Rafe makes it home, Zach is in the kitchen, the whole loft smelling like delicious food.

“You actually remembered how to get home?” Zach teases over the sound of ingredients sizzling in a pan.

“Lost track of time,” Rafe says. He settles on a barstool as Zach stands at the range, trying not to burn dinner.

Zach is glad his back is to his brother, because when Rafe tells him that he was with you that entire time, driving around and talking, his eyebrows furrow in anger and jealousy before he can subdue it.

“But before you lose your shit,” Rafe adds, “it was all friendly, okay?”

“Right,” Zach mumbles. He stares down at the pan, trying to breathe through his prickly frustration. He’s unbelievably mad at himself for falling asleep after practice.

You can do whatever you want, he knows that, but he feels that even though it’s just as a friend, you’re his, not Rafe’s. And his brother getting to spend time with you feels painfully unfair.

────୨ৎ────

The bright stadium lights pool over the deep green soccer field. It’s a cool evening, perfect for a match.

Cold seeps in through your jeans as you sit on the metal bench on the sideline. You have your phone at the ready to film the team as they rush the field for a home game.

You’ve grown to love your job. You found great friends, the TikTok account is earning more traction, and you’ve started to genuinely enjoy coming out to games and cheering on your school’s team.

It’s been almost a week since your night with Rafe. You haven’t seen him or Zach since. You welcome the distance. Liking them both is ridiculously confusing.

Minutes pass. The crowd is getting louder. The team still isn’t out on the field. Your dad runs a tight ship, so it’s weird that they’re late.

You head into the stadium tunnel towards the locker room, curiosity nagging you. A group of players are standing outside the door and you approach Chance.

“What’s going on?” you ask.

“Something’s up with Zach,” Chance tells you. Alarm rushes through you and you step into the locker room without a second thought.

Zach’s sitting on the bench by his locker, hunched over, surrounded by your dad, the team’s medic, and a few other players.

“Is everything okay?” you ask.

Zach looks up at you. His eyes are sunken, his lips parted. And then, he loses consciousness.

When his eyelids flutter open, the brightness of the room is so painful that he has to squint.

“He’s up,” he hears. It’s you. He hasn’t heard your voice in a while. He misses it.

He slowly comes to, realizing he’s in a hospital bed. You’re sitting to his left. The team medic is standing at the end of the bed with a doctor. He’s hooked up to an IV.

“What happened?” he rasps.

“You’re dehydrated,” the medic explains, leaning over to hand a plastic cup of water to Zach. “You’re at Trinity Hospital. You’re okay. Drink.”

Zach weakly picks it up, downing the cool water, his throat feeling raw. He rolls his head to look at you again. He knows it’s wrong, but he’s relieved that you look so concerned for him. That you’re here.

The doctor introduces herself, then explains that Zach was unconscious for so long that she’d prefer to keep him overnight to monitor him.

The news makes everything in him twist with worry and frustration. He just wants to go home. He doesn’t want Rafe to spiral.

“Okay,” he says. “I’m alright, though?”

“I’m not worried,” the doctor replies. “I just want to be sure you’re in good shape before I send you home.”

Within a few minutes, the doctor leaves the room. Then, the medic encourages Zach to drink more fluids, calls the coach to update him, and asks if you want to head back together now that you’re sure Zach’s okay.

You politely decline. You’re too worried to leave him alone so fast. And shortly after, it’s just you two in the room, listening to the beeps of Zach’s pulse.

“Dehydrated?” you say playfully, but still worried. “What the hell, Cameron?”

“I know,” he says with a smile. He regrets going hard at the gym today. He’s sure that’s what did it. “Rookie move.”

“I specifically told you to hydrate like, two days ago.”

Zach’s laugh is boyish. He reaches for your hand and squeezes. You remind yourself it’s likely nothing more than a friendly gesture.

“That was hangover advice,” he says. His thumb strokes over the back of your hand.

“It was life advice, actually.” You inhale slowly. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

He lets go of your hand, remembering you can hear his pulse right now and not wanting to risk you witnessing it beat faster.

“It was way more than two days ago, by the way,” he says. He threads his fingers through his hair, suddenly self-conscious of how bad he must look right now. “Where’ve you been?”

You look down at your lap. You’ve been declining all the invitations to hang out in the group chat because the past few days have been so confusing.

Seeing Zach with another girl was painful, and then, you realized just how unimportant you felt to him when he slept through your plans, even though it was by mistake. You need time and space to stop liking him before you can hang out again.

“School’s been kicking my ass,” you lie.

“Do you need help?” he asks. He’d do anything to have you around again.

“Leave it to you to be in a hospital bed asking if you can help,” you mumble. Zach laughs. You try and fail not to fawn over his perfect smile.

“Did I faint in front of everybody?” he says, fixing his hair again.

“Not everybody,” you half-laugh. “But, seriously, everyone was really worried. We all care about you a lot.”

His heart warms. He may be in the hospital, but right now, he’s grateful for having people who care about him. It’s all he ever wanted.

“Thanks for coming with me,” Zach says softly. “And for staying.”

You nod. You were so worried that you told your dad you were going with the paramedics when they arrived, not even considering that you had work to do, that Zach was already taken care of.

“Of course,” you reply. “You said you don’t like being alone, remember? In that dream you had?”

Zach huffs a laugh and looks away, embarrassed as he thinks about that night in the elevator, but still appreciative.

“Did anyone call my brother?” he asks.

“I texted him that I’m with you at the hospital. He hasn’t replied yet.”

Zach nods and thanks you. He tries not to fixate on the fact that you have Rafe’s number. He looks at the clock hanging on the wall to see it’s late in the evening. He figures Rafe’s out with friends or with a girl, not paying attention to his phone.

He wishes he could just talk to him. With every second that passes, he worries more and more about Rafe’s reaction to him being here.

“I should’ve grabbed your phone from the locker room so you could talk to him directly,” you say regretfully. “But I told Chance to get your things for you after the game. Is there anyone else I should contact?”

Admittedly, you’re bracing yourself for him to mention the girl from the other night. Or any girl, really. But he only shakes his head no.

A nurse comes in to remind you that visiting hours are up soon. Zach sits up, visibly on edge, asking her when he can have visitors tomorrow. She tells him 9 a.m.

Knowing he won’t be able to see his brother in person tonight makes him anxious.

After the nurse leaves, Zach frantically asks if he can send a voice-note to Rafe on your phone. You open the conversation and hand your phone to Zach, noticing the nervous way he’s chewing on his lip.

“Hey,” he says into the speaker. “It’s nothing. I passed out from dehydration and I’m at Trinity and they’re keeping me overnight just to be sure I’m good, but the doctor’s not worried.”

His eyes flit to you and he swallows hard.

“This is nothing like the last time, okay? I know your mind’s gonna go there and this is not even close,” he continues. “You can come see me at nine tomorrow. And you better bring me food.”

Zach ends the recording, sends it, and gives you back your phone.

“Thanks,” he breathes. You nod, your eyebrows knitting in confusion and worry.

“Sure,” you say. “Is there anything I can do?”

Zach scratches the back of his neck.

“When he answers, please tell him that you saw for yourself that I’m okay,” he says. “He might be a little freaked out.”

You agree, not wanting to pry, and start to collect your things. There’s no television in the room and you feel bad that Zach’ll be left alone with nothing to entertain him. You want to help.

You tell him you’ll be right back, then rush downstairs at a vending machine you saw when you came in. After, you drop by the gift shop. It’s closed, the flowers and balloons locked up, but you’re still able to pick up a book sitting on a rack.

You leave behind more than enough cash for the book on the counter and go back to Zach’s room.

“Snacks,” you say breathlessly when you enter, dropping the bags of chips and candy and the paperback on the bed, “and a book. Hopefully, this’ll keep you entertained. And don’t tell my dad about the junk food. You know how he is about an athlete’s diet.”

Zach smiles at you, his eyes soft. With everything you’ve done tonight, you could simply be showing what a good friend you are, but what if you feel something for him, too?

The mention of his coach is reminder enough of why he doesn’t pursue this. It could get messy. But maybe he should be more like his brother. Taking risks. Allowing himself to do what he wants to do.

“I should go,” you sigh, looking at the clock. “Feel better, okay? We don’t stand a chance of winning without you.”

He laughs, his eyes lingering on you.

“Thanks,” Zach says. You turn to leave. He stops you with a gentle, “Hey.”

You stop, turning back to look at him. Zach takes you in, how good he feels when you’re around, how there’s still a little bit of worry written into your cute features.

He won’t tell you that he wants to you to be his girlfriend. Not like this, when he’s hooked up to monitors, stuck in a bed. He’ll do it when he’s out of here. He’ll do it when he can hold your face in his hands and tell you how much you mean to him.

“Seriously, thank you,” he tells you. “You’re amazing.” You smile at him again. If only he knew how much his words mean to you.

“You’re welcome,” you say.

You’re pacing through the parking lot when your phone buzzes. It’s Rafe calling you. You answer quickly. He says your name, his voice strained.

“I’m here. Is it too late to see him?”

“Yeah, visiting hours are over. I’m just leaving now,” you say, looking around the dark lot in case you can spot him. “But, honestly, he’s okay.”

“Does he…” Rafe pauses. “I think I see you.”

You approach each other under the starry sky, meeting by a line of parked cars.

His eyes are glossy. He’s been crying. No wonder Zach was so worried. He must have known the effect this would have on his brother. There’s more to this than you realize.

“Hi,” you say softly, ending the call. “It’s okay. He’s acting totally like himself.”

“He doesn’t have his phone?”

“No,” you say. “But I made sure someone’ll pick his stuff up for him.”

“What happened?”

“Before the game tonight, he was in the locker room and he looked really tired,” you explain. “He passed out, but he was already sitting and someone caught him, so he didn’t hit his head or anything. They have him on an IV and drinking lots of fluids.”

“Okay,” he mutters. “Fuck. I was at a bar and I wasn’t checking my phone… I got into a cab as fast as I could.”

“It’s okay,” you console him. “He’s good. He was more worried about you than himself.”

Rafe sighs, hands on his hips as he looks down and paces back and forth, hair hanging over his head. You can hear him panting.

“He was worried about me?”

“Yeah.”

“What’d he say?” Rafe asks the question the same tense way he did the night of the party. He’s so closed off, clearly upset at the thought of you knowing anything he doesn’t want you to know.

“I heard the voice-note he sent you,” you admit, “and he said you might be freaked out, but he didn’t tell me anything else. I didn’t ask. It’s not my business.”

Rafe chews on his lip the same nervous way Zach does. For once, you see a similarity between them.

His breathing gets even shallower. He rests his hands on the rear window of the van parked next to him. His body curls forward. His skin is flushed.

You step a little closer, searching his face in the light of the lamps lining the parking lot. He’s distraught.

“Rafe,” you say quietly.

His stare is on the ground, his chest heaving now. Something bad has been triggered in him.

“Hey,” you say.

“You can go home now,” he mutters breathlessly.

“I’m not leaving you like this,” you say. You take a risk, placing a hand on his back, feeling it rise and fall quickly.

“I think you’re having a panic attack,” you say evenly. “I get that this is scary, but I promise you, everything’s okay. Zach is okay.”

Rafe’s chest is tight. His veins are made of ice. He feels like punching something. He hates this familiar loss of control, this shock of the world crumbling around him with no warning.

Yet while he thought that he’d hate someone touching him like this, that he’d hate being so vulnerable, he actually feels a little better.

You continue to rub his back, sweetly and tenderly. The touches he shares with girls are never like this. They’re always superficial, fuelled by lust. But this feels like real, sincere care.

“You took a cab here?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he rasps.

“Did you talk to the driver?”

“What?”

“Did you?” you say. “What kind of car was it?”

It’s all in an effort to distract him, and while Rafe stammers his way through his answers about the driver and the car and the bar he was at, you notice his breathing start to even out.

Minutes later, his heart isn’t racing as fast. His chest isn’t as tight. He can think clearer.

He’s embarrassed, but relieved you were here to talk him down before he ran into the hospital and demanded to see his brother. He now realizes how bad that could’ve gone.

“I don’t…” he stammers. He doesn’t know how to say that this doesn’t happen all that often, that this is a piece of him he typically buries deep from everyone.

“What?”

“You probably think I’m crazy.” Saying the word out loud hurts more than he expected. It’s what he’s felt all his life, that something isn’t wired right in his brain.

“No. I get it,” you say. You shake your head. “I mean, I don’t know what happened, but… I’m guessing he was in the hospital for something before, right?”

Rafe meets your eyes, straightening.

“I get why you’re freaked out,” you say. “I would be, too. Memories can mess with us.”

The way you just calmed him down, the sympathy in your tone, the alcohol swimming in his system are what push him to actually be honest with someone for once in a long time.

“We almost lost him,” he admits. “A long time ago.”

Your face falls in sorrow, eyes searching his face. He looks down at the ground, too uncomfortable to meet your gaze again.

“I almost lost him,” Rafe mumbles, his voice thin. Because, really, he knows he would’ve felt the loss the hardest. His brother is the most important person in his life. Always has been.

And to lose him, someone so irreplaceable, someone he was with from the moment he was a living thing, would kill him. Zach’s right, even though he’s joking, that Rafe doesn’t tell him he loves him enough.

“I’m so sorry,” you say. “How old were you?”

“Fourteen,” Rafe says.

It was mere months after their mother abandoned them, saying she couldn’t stay with their father anymore, that she did everything she could do as a mom, that she was done.

It left a hole in Rafe that he feels every day. If Zach feels it, he does an incredible job hiding it.

He still doesn’t know what the final straw was. Why fourteen years of her sons’ lives was enough for her. How could a parent decide that they had enough of their kids forever?

She wasn’t the best mom, unpredictable and erratic, but he loved her. There had to be something wrong with her mind for her to act like that. To leave. Something that Rafe is sure skipped Zach and was passed on to him.

“That’s so young,” you say sadly.

“He was really sick for a while.” Rafe’s heart twists thinking about it.

How a freak case of pneumonia had Zach bedridden, his lungs fighting to keep breathing. How mad Rafe was at his brother, as if he did it on purpose. How sure he was that in some twisted way, his mother’s sudden abandonment triggered it.

He still regrets how he acted when Zach was discharged. He couldn’t talk to him for days. He was too angry for scaring him into thinking he was going to lose his best friend, his anchor.

“How long?” you ask.

“Weeks,” Rafe tells you. “And you know Zach. He kept telling everyone he was fine. Even as a kid, he didn’t want people to worry about him.”

“He is like that, isn’t he?” you say with a soft chuckle. Since you met Zach, you quickly learned he dismisses any notion of needing any sort of help. “But I promise, this isn’t one of those cases. I saw for myself. He’s good. I wouldn’t lie about that.”

Rafe nods quickly, finally looking at you.

“You’ll see him tomorrow,” you say with a small smile, sad but touched that he opened up to you like this. “Until then, just try to relax.”

Rafe loves the feeling of your hand on him. He can’t remember the last time he loved someone’s touch. If he ever even did.

He’s keeping his promise to Zach. He won’t hook up with you. Because he wants more than that. He wants to know you and for you to know him. He wants you to stay the night, every night. He wants you to be his.

And he needs to be sure you don’t feel anything for his brother.

“Are you and him…” He swallows hard. “Is there anything there?”

Your forehead crinkles in confusion. Zach had told you that his brother was his best friend. You’re sure he would’ve told him if he felt something for you.

If he has to ask, Zach must not talk about you much at all. You’re nothing but a friend to him. Although you do have feelings for him, you were right to be apprehensive from the start. He doesn’t like you like that.

“No,” you finally say.

Rafe nods. At least there’s no unrequited feelings on either side. He must have been reading into things, imagining you looking at his brother a certain way.

“You wanna grab some food?” Rafe asks impulsively.

You agree. Right now, there’s nothing else you’d rather do.

Rafe’s been on a handful of dates before, but sitting across from you at a quiet late-night diner, sobering up, getting to know you more and more makes him feel like he’s living in a dream.

He’s never felt this way about a girl before. Scared in a good way. Slowly, he opens up little by little, peeling back layers of the wall he’s been hiding behind for years.

He shares what happened with his mom. How Zach was the strong one, while Rafe acted out and made his life hell. You take in every word, seeing just how much guilt and shame and pain he carries around.

You open up, too, sharing things you don’t tell many people. He’s a good listener, and the eyes you thought didn’t have much hope behind them at first aren’t cold at all by the end of the night.

It’s one in the morning when you part ways. Rafe shares a cab with you, making sure you get dropped off first, watching you step through the front door.

Everything in him wants to invite you to his place, but things are going to be different with you. He won’t rush into numbing himself with sex like he always does, because he refuses to be numb or absent or checked out with you in any way.

────୨ৎ────

“What kind of grown man forgets to drink water?”

Zach looks up from his orange juice to see Rafe walking into his hospital room.

He chuckles, asking Rafe not to give him shit for this because you already did. The mention of your name makes Rafe’s heart feel lighter in this tense moment.

Because of how good it felt to be so open with you last night, expressing just how important Zach is to him, remembering everything they’d gone through together, Rafe doesn’t shy away from leaning over to hug his brother, who stiffens in his bed.

“Uh, good morning to you, too?” Zach laughs. “Is this a hug? What the hell? Who are you?”

“I love you, too,” Rafe mumbles, pulling back and holding up a paper bag of breakfast for him. “And I got you your food, princess.”

“You try eating hospital food,” Zach replies, taking the bag, feeling ravenous.

Rafe settles on the chair, remembering his brother at fourteen, picking apart at the food they served him with a look of disgust, yet telling the nurses ‘it’s good, thank you’ when they asked if he was enjoying his meal.

Rafe urged his dad to bring his brother home-cooked food almost every day of his hospital stay. It was one of the little ways he showed up for Zach, taking care of him instead of the other way around for once.

“What’d the doctor say?” Rafe asks. “Do you feel better?”

“She hasn’t come to see me yet, but I feel totally fine.” Zach digs into his breakfast. “How are you?”

Rafe looks down at his lap, sighing before he speaks.

“I freaked out,” Rafe admits. Zach stills. “She told me you said I would and you were right. But, man… she knew exactly what to do.”

“It happened when you were with her?” Zach knows what Rafe’s breakdowns look like. He has full-blown panic attacks. He’s nearly inconsolable. He wonders how jarring that must have been for you.

“Out in the parking lot,” he says. “It was just too much. All that shit came rushing back.”

Rafe shrugs, defeated. Sometimes, he’s able to give into the fact that he can do nothing but surrender to the chaos in his mind. He felt safe doing it in front of you last night. He felt safe every second he was with you.

“Are you okay now?” Zach asks. He notices the hint of a smile in Rafe’s face. A brightness he hasn’t seen in him in a long time.

“Yeah,” Rafe says. “I gotta ask you something, though.”

“What?”

“Does ‘off limits’ mean I can’t date her?”

“Date her?” Zach repeats, in disbelief. “You want to date her? Like, commit to her? You don’t commit to anyone.”

Rafe breathes a chuckle, pursing his lips.

“Well, now, I want to.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

Rafe looks like he got rid of a ten-ton weight that was sitting on his shoulders. He’s relaxed. He’s content. Zach can’t remember the last time he saw him like this.

Zach became hyperaware of other people’s emotions at a young age. When their parents would argue, he saw what it did to Rafe, who would shut down and lash out. Zach would distract his brother in every way he could.

Then their mom left and it became ten times harder to keep Rafe steady. But Zach did it and he never stopped trying. Because helping others, putting their feelings first, really does make Zach happy.

But right now, he feels really far from happy.

He looks down at his food. He had it all planned out. He’d get in his best clothes, find a nice place to take you, give you a whole speech about how he hasn’t stopped thinking about you for days and how happy you make him and how happy he could make you.

“She feels the same way? Did something happen between you?” Zach asks. His chest is a hole. A pit.

“Nothing happened,” Rafe says, scratching the back of his neck.

It was nearly impossible for Rafe not to give into the impulse to hold your hand in the booth you sat at together last night and tell you how pretty you are and how much fun he has with you.

But he really does want to be a better person. He wants to think before he acts. And that means checking in with Zach that he’s okay with this, considering how tense he is about Rafe getting involved with his friends.

“But I think she might like me, too,” Rafe says. “And I made sure she’s not into you. I guess I was just reading into stuff before.”

That’s the moment Zach’s heart breaks. He licks his lips, his stare low. So, you would’ve just rejected him.

“You really like her?” he asks after a moment.

“Yeah,” Rafe says.

“Why?”

“Don’t make me be corny,” he groans.

Zach’s head is pounding. He wants to be mad at Rafe. But he had so many opportunities to tell him that he likes you, and he was too chicken to admit it. And now, his brother is falling for you. And he looks so happy doing it.

“You’re gonna have to be corny,” Zach says. “I need to be sure you’re not just messing around.”

Rafe sighs. It’s always Zach doing this, gushing over a girl, freaking out over if she hasn’t texted him back, getting all nervous before a date. Rafe used to tease him about it. He gets it now, though.

“You suck,” Rafe scoffs, tensing up. It’s hard for him to talk like this, but he forces the words out. “I don’t know. I like who I am when I’m around her. And it’s… when she’s in the room, everything’s better, you know?”

“Yeah,” Zach says. He knows. He feels the exact same way.

“Is that corny enough for you?” Rafe says with a scoff. “Are you cool with this or no?”

Zach chews his food slowly only to buy time before he has to speak again. He’s trying to act unbothered and it’s working, considering how in the clouds Rafe seems.

He has no idea that Zach is falling for you. Because he’s too busy doing it, too.

He meets his brother’s eyes. He takes a deep breath. And, because Rafe’s happiness has always been more important to him than his own, he gives him his blessing.

“Go for it,” Zach says. “And don’t hurt her.”

He’s never felt so bitter. He hates that he hopes you’ll have a change of heart. He hates that he feels like he’d treat you better. He hates all of this. But he stays silent.

────୨ৎ────

You’re having a late breakfast when Zach replies to your text asking to keep you updated.

Doctor cleared me. I’m home and I got my stuff from Chance. Thanks for everything.

His message is cold compared to how he usually texts. But maybe he’s just tired from the hospital stay.

You gaze out your window, thinking about everything that happened last night. Rafe isn’t as different from Zach as you first thought. Behind his hard exterior, he’s sensitive and gentle and so badly wants to be loved.

He confessed to feeling like something was missing in him since he can remember. The look in his eyes when you told him that to you, he seems perfectly whole, is one you won’t forget.

Being with him for hours was a wonderful haze. You didn’t want to part. He made you feel heard. It’s a joy that you’ve been lacking for a long time.

Minutes later, Rafe texts you asking if he can take you out to dinner tonight. You smile at your screen. You love how you don’t have to wonder about if he wants you.

The restaurant he drives you to is lavish and elegant. Rafe is unbelievably handsome across the table over the candlelight, his dark button-up making his eyes look all the more blue. Your stomach is full of butterflies, yet a sense of calm fills you when you’re with him.

You pick up where you left off, conversation flowing without any effort. He looks at you like you put the stars in the sky. You’re sure you look at him the same way.

When Rafe pulls the car up to your place, in an effort to keep you from leaving right away, he presses his palm against the back of your hand.

“Did you have a good time?” he asks, tone low, adorably nervous.

“Of course. Did you?”

Rafe chuckles at the question. Good doesn’t begin to cover it.

“You’re…” he begins.

“I’m what?” you laugh.

He squeezes your hand gently, turning it so he can lace his fingers with yours. The contact is warm, his ring hard but smooth against your skin. Your heart pounds in your ears as he stares at you.

“Beautiful,” he says. “In every way.”

His tone is sincere and firm. He says it like it’s a fact.

“And I want to keep doing this,” he says. “Seeing you. If you want to keep seeing me, too.”

“I do,” you say. When he leans forward, his kiss is soft but hungry, making your mind spin.

Zach fakes a headache when Rafe gets home. All he needs to hear is that the date went well. He doesn’t want the details.

────୨ৎ────

You’re wrapped in Rafe’s arms, your back flush against his chest, as music and chatter float through the air around you.

You’re settled on his couch, talking with your friends as the party rages. Rafe’s still getting used to what it means to be a boyfriend, tense and quiet around your friends, but he’d get used to anything if it meant making you happy.

You’ve only been dating a few weeks, but he’s sure if this isn’t love, he’s damn close to it. Aside from his brother, you’re his best friend.

You smile when you feel Rafe’s lips press against the side of your neck. He’s ridiculously affectionate, touching you whenever he can, spoiling you, whispering sweet things to you all the time. He’s completely unguarded.

Zach’s in the kitchen, as far away from you as he physically can be. After the hospital, he hasn’t been himself at all. You can tell he’s trying to be, though, forcing smiles around you.

It makes no sense. He called you amazing that night. But, then, he pulled away. It’s like he’s mad at you for dating his brother, but he refuses to admit it.

You’ve asked him multiple times if things are good between you. He reassured you over and over that they are.

Maybe someone else would believe him, but after you pined for him for so long, you can read when he’s trying to hide that he’s upset. At parties, at casual get-togethers, even at work when you’re making content for the team, he’s absent-minded and disinterested.

And whatever’s wrong, he prefers to hold inside.

Nonetheless, while your feelings for Zach have faded, you genuinely hope he’s happy and that you can be friends with him again one day.

The next morning, you wake up in Rafe’s bed. His arm is around your waist, his breath warm against your back. He’s still snoozing when you slip out of bed to get water.

Zach’s sitting at the kitchen island, staring down at his coffee. It’s almost funny how just over three months ago, you were here for the first time, yearning for Zach to give you a hint that he liked you. Now, you’re falling for Rafe.

“Morning,” you say kindly.

Zach looks up from his coffee. His smile doesn’t meet his eyes.

“Hey.”

You open the fridge, the awful feeling he’s been giving you lately sitting heavy on your heart. He makes you feel unwelcome, which is something you never expected from him.

“Just getting some water,” you say, searching through the shelves. “He’s definitely gonna wake up with a headache.”

Zach tenses. You’re doing for Rafe what he daydreamed you doing for him. Sharing a bed with him, nursing his hangover, touching him and smiling at him and giving him what Zach would die for.

You look so pretty in the morning, your bedhead adorable, your pajamas complimenting your figure. Why won’t his heart just catch up with his mind? He keeps telling himself to get over you.

He notices that you have Rafe’s ring on your finger. He used to imagine you wearing his things. He’d love to see you in his team hoodie. But he never will.

In another world, you’re in this kitchen as his girlfriend, talking about last night’s party, sharing kisses and laughs. But not in this world.

“I never asked you,” you say, your back to him, “how was that book I got you?”

You hope it serves as a reminder for how much you did for him and how much you care about him. It hurts, the way he’s been keeping you at a distance.

Late at night, as your mind drifts away from you when you try to fall asleep, you’ve considered the possibility of Zach being upset because he’s jealous of Rafe and wants to be with you.

But Rafe told you he checked with Zach to make sure your relationship was okay with him and he even said he didn’t feel anything for you. Maybe Zach thinks you’re not good enough for his brother and he’s too nice to actually say it out loud.

“Good,” Zach says.

You grab two water bottles and close the fridge door. One word is all he’s willing to say to you.

You can’t do it again. You can’t ask him for the hundredth time if you did something wrong, just for him to say you didn’t and he’s sorry that he made you feel like you did.

You leave him alone in the kitchen, padding up the stairs. Zach looks down at his coffee again. His eyes are starting to burn with tears.

He wants to remind his brother that they agreed they wouldn’t let people overstay. And you being here for even one night feels like overstaying. He can’t have you and every time he’s reminded of that, it hurts.

He can’t stop thinking about that night in the elevator and wishing that instead of drunkenly rambling about his brother, he rambled about his feelings for you. At least then, everything would have been out in the open long before you really got to know Rafe.

The girl he met through the video messaged him last night, asking if he was up to hang out again. She’s cute and nice. But she’s not you. And it’d be wrong to pursue someone just to numb the pain of not having you.

That’s all he wants. You. And because he was such a coward, he’ll never have you. Maybe at some point, he had a chance. Maybe you would have grown feelings for him if he was honest with you.

But you seem happy. So does Rafe, who actually wants hold you and kiss you in public. He was never like that with any other girl.

Zach realizes that while he was always so sure he coped with everything that life hurled at them better than Rafe, he wasn’t paying attention to how destructive he is to himself. His martyrdom was never a virtue.

He’s too late. He self-sabotaged. He has nobody to blame for his aching loneliness but himself. That’s the most heartbreaking part of this whole thing.

Rafe’s hair is tousled, his smile lazy when you come back to bed.

“Thought you left me,” he murmurs tiredly into your hair, pulling you tight against his warm body. You smile, your cheek pressed against his chest, breathing in his comforting scent.

Rafe’s sure you can feel his pulse on your cheek. He feels like you own every beat of his heart.

“I wouldn’t leave you,” you tell him.

The tension from what happened downstairs leaves your system. You swallow down the tears that threatened to fall when you left the kitchen.

You plant a kiss on Rafe’s chest. You know where you’re wanted. And you’re happiest staying there.

(the end)

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[glenscowboyhat]

i never lie (t.owens)

hi omg this is my first full-length tyler fic! actually my first full-length fic in like 3ish years so pls be kind 😭 this one is based off of the song i never lie by zach top, with a few little changes! i recommend listening to it beforehand but i don’t think you have to to understand what’s happening! i hope you like it 🥹

warnings. a few curse words, implied female reader but no actual pronouns i don’t think, implied smut but it’s like one sentence, and general bad writing lol, plus i really like commas apparently. lmk if there’s anything i missed!

pairing. tyler owens x reader, slight scott x reader

word count. 2k

꒰ well, it’s been some time, you still look like an angel ꒱

꒰ i heard you’re doin’ fine, got promoted back in april ꒱

it had been four months since you’d seen the infamous tyler owens when you spotted him across a random bar in nowheresville, oklahoma. “oh, hell,” you said, spinning your stool towards javi’s at the bar and putting a hand over your eyes.

“what’s the matter?” he asked, glancing behind you. “oh,” was all he muttered as he silently got up from his stool.

“wait, where are you going?”

“you’ve got company, darlin’,” he murmured before slipping behind you and out of sight. you spin your stool once more, confused, when you see him. “tyler,” you sigh.

“long time no see, honey.” he settles onto what was once your friend’s stool with a frustratingly beautiful smirk. “don’t you look gorgeous as ever.”

“did you need something, tyler?” you ask, trying to gather yourself. seeing him here four months after your breakup was jarring to say the least. you figured he’d probably be in this area. there were some massive storms that were supposed to come through within the next few days. you just didn’t know he’d pick this bar to grace with his presence.

“just surprised to see you here is all,” he said. “can’t believe they finally let you out of the office and into the field.”

just a month after your breakup with tyler, you started a job working with storm par. even though you hated what they stood for, all you wanted to do was help victims in the aftermath of destructive tornados. now that you obviously weren’t working with tyler and his crew anymore, you moved on to the next best thing, making it your mission to help instead of hurt. through everything, you had remained close with the rest of the wranglers, keeping them updated on your life. when tyler heard of your new position, he was absolutely livid. he couldn’t believe you’d move on to ‘sleeping with the enemy,’ as he called it, just one month after the devastating, explosive fight that ultimately ended your relationship.

you’d been working in storm par’s offices, planning each chase, for nearly a month before you were promoted in early april to join scott and javi in the field. once again, tyler was pissed when he found out. you’d already hurt him by even agreeing to work with the exploitative company, but now you were putting yourself in danger on top of that, and he wouldn’t be around to protect you. it killed him to think about anything happening to you, but he was so angry and resentful towards you about the whole situation. he let his pride and his hurt block out how his heart truly felt about you.

꒰ and you met someone, your dad says he’s okay ꒱

“and you met someone, i hear.” you had. well, kind of. about a month after starting at storm par, you were still torn up over tyler. just as you were now, though you’d never admit that to him. he’d really hurt you all those months ago. anyway, scott was there to help you forget about the tornado wrangler. you both knew he was just a rebound, but scott quite enjoyed the late nights he spent with you in dingy motel rooms, and, more than anything, he really loved pissing tyler off. he knew that being with you got under tyler’s skin in a way that nothing else did, and you relished in the attention he showed you. though, it would never compare to that of the arkansas cowboy you’d grown to love so much.

“yeah, i guess so,” you meekly nodded. being so close to him again was making your chest burn and your eyes sting, and this conversation was terribly awkward. you wished the sticky floor of the bar would just open up and swallow you whole.

꒰ well, i’ve never been better, things are going my way ꒱

you were beginning to wonder what his motives were for coming over here. that was, until he began to speak again. “well, i just wanted to tell ya that the fans really miss you on the streams. although, did you hear we hit a million subscribers?” boone had excitedly told you about it the day it happened. you were thrilled for them, but you couldn’t ignore the pang in your chest that stemmed from the reminder that you wouldn’t be there to celebrate with them all. “yeah, ty. looks like things are really going your way,” you smiled. you were happy for him. you had to be.

꒰ i sleep like a baby; i never show up late for work ꒱

꒰ i don’t drink whiskey; i don’t know how it feels to hurt ꒱

“mhm,” he hummed. “i barely know how it feels to hurt anymore. i sleep like a baby, and we’ve caught every storm we’ve been in the area for for weeks now.”

you will the tears from your eyes as you force a smile. “that’s really great, tyler. i’m glad to hear you’re doing so well.”

꒰ oh, and i ain’t been lonely since you said goodbye; i wish i could say i miss you, but you know i never lie ꒱

꒰ yeah, i met somebody too, she’s a model out in l.a. ꒱

꒰ and she’s begging me to move, she says malibu is really great ꒱

꒰ ain’t decided if i’m going or not, but at the end of the day…꒱

“thanks. i met someone too, you know. her name’s emily. she lives in the dallas area, does modeling for a couple magazines out there. she says it’s really great.”

your throat squeezes even tighter; you know he’s trying to get a ride out of you on purpose now. you know, deep down, that you’ve hurt him by going out with scott. you steel yourself before responding. “oh, yeah? you gonna sell your place in little rock?” he half scoffs, expecting a different reaction. “ain’t decided yet. but at the end of the day, i’m good wherever i am.”

you give him a half-hearted grin, already starting to slip off your stool. “i’m happy for you, ty.” you say before subtly bolting out the entrance of the poorly lit room.

the second you hear the heavy door slam behind you, you begin gasping for air. hearing how well tyler was doing without you was quickly sending you into a tizzy. you try to stall your tears and calm your breathing, but the air around you is too thick, your skin too warm, and the hurt too intense. your chest feels as if it’s closing in on itself and you’re not sure what to do, and then you see them. the other wranglers are suddenly surrounding you. “y/n? are you alright? what happened?” lily asked. you shake out your hands, trying to control your breathing. “it’s-” deep, shaky breath. “it’s nothing. i’m fine. i’m fine.” they all continue to eye you, not quite knowing what to say, until boone speaks up. “oh, shit,” he whispered, mostly to himself, though you all heard it. “what?” dani asked. boone looks at her with wide eyes, “tyler’s been in there for a while already.”

you finally get your breathing semi- under control and nod. “i’m okay, i just- tyler was telling me how well he and you all are doing and it just.. kinda threw me. but i’m alright.” they all share a puzzled look before looking back at you with furrowed brows. “he told you he was doing well?” you nod once more. “yeah, said he sleeps like a baby, and that you guys haven’t missed a good storm in weeks,” you explain. they all collectively scoff before boone shakes his head. “that’s such bullshit. i had to share a motel room with him a few weeks back, he didn’t stop tossing and turning ‘til nearly four in the morning.” your brows raise. “yeah, and we literally missed what would’ve been a stunner just last week cause he couldn’t get his shit together in time,” lily adds. you shake your head in disbelief. “he told me he met someone. emily, i think?”

“oh, you mean that girl he went on three dates with before he decided she wasn’t what he wanted and sent her back to texas?”

now it was your turn to scoff. “what? why would he lie?” you had a little bit of an idea, but you didn’t want to get your own hopes up for no reason.

“y/n. you and i both know that he told that girl it wouldn’t work out because he’s not over you,” dani said. your eyes blur again. god, you really wish they’d stop doing that. “i- i don’t know why he’d tell me he found someone else if he hadn’t,” your voice breaks as dexter quietly slips away from the group and into the crowded bar. “who knows why tyler does anything? all i know is that he loves you more than-” she’s interrupted by the heavy door behind you busting open. “y/n,” tyler breaths. you’re frozen, eyes glued to him. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to upset you. i’m not with emily, and i haven’t slept properly in months. i miss you like crazy,” he steps toward you hesitantly. “i promised you i’d never lie to you and i broke it. all i ever do is hurt.”

the dam finally breaks and your tears begin to soak your reddened cheeks. “nothing is going the way i want it to now that you’re not with us, with me. i just wanted you to miss me the way i miss you but i went about it all wrong. i’m so sorry.”

you laugh humorlessly, “tyler, scott and i were never serious. he and i both knew that i never got over you. i miss you more than anything. i miss all of you guys,” you go to gesture behind you, suddenly realizing that the rest of the wranglers had disappeared, leaving the two of you to work this out. you turn back around with a small, watery smile on your lips. tyler has a twinkle in his eye as he takes another step toward you, hesitantly reaching for your hands. “honey, what’ll it take for you to take me back? i’m miserable without you.” his eyes are teary now, too.

your smile grows. “i’ll take you back, ty, as long as you promise to never lie to me again.”

he grins, his smile brighter than you think you’ve ever seen it as little tears drip from his eyes. “never again, baby. i promise, for real, this time.”

your laugh is genuine as you lean in to press your lips against his for the first time in far too long. as you pull away, your brows furrow once more. “how’d you know i was out here, anyway?”

tyler lightly squeezes your hips before answering, “dexter came into the bar just a few minutes before i came out here. he found me and told me that i better get my ass outside and try and get my girl back before it was too late. told me i had upset you pretty bad. i ran through the crowd as fast as i could to get to you; i had to tell you that i hadn’t meant to hurt you.”

you place your hands on top of his, running your thumbs over the tops of his knuckles. “it’s okay. i didn’t mean to hurt you either. i was just… having a hard time functioning without you and scott was there to take the edge off. i should’ve known it was a bad idea.”

he places a hand on your cheek, squeezing your hand with the other, still on your hip. he brings your lips to his again, putting all of the unspoken words and wasted time into the sweet kiss. “everything’s okay, now. but you gotta tell scott that it’s over between you.”

you giggle. “i’ll text him the minute we get back inside.” he lightly pinches your hip as he grins. “good. now come on, sweet thing. i’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” he slides his arm around your waist as the two of you begin to make your way back into the rowdy bar.

“hey, ty?”

“yeah, baby?”

“can i come back to the wranglers? storm par is so boring in comparison.”

he laughs loudly before proudly answering, “absolutely, honey. it’s great to have you back,” he responds before leaning in for one last sweet kiss.

꒰ wish i could say i hadn’t missed you, but you know i never lie. ꒱

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Little Wolf

kai parker x reader | (wolf!reader)

summary: kai bonds with the girl that lives down the hall from him in the boarding house

tags: house party, minor titanic reference, threats, feelings, nesting, abo undertones / werewolves, tickling, siphoning, first kiss, teasing, cuddling

word count: 3.7k

“What’s she doing?” Kai asks Damon as he watches you. 

Kai poked his head inside your room looking for you, only to find you moving about quickly inside it. Your laptop is in the center of your bed, surrounded by pillows, blankets, and an arrangement of what looks to be shirts. You haven’t even noticed Kai, too focused on getting everything exactly where you want it. He’s too entranced in his observation to ask you himself, which is why he questioned the man instead. After all, Damon has been following him around all night, so it’s not like he had to direct his confusion too far. 

Damon narrows his eyes, then peeks inside your room, too. As soon as he realizes what you’re doing, he chuckles to himself. 

“What?” Kai asks again.

“Wouldn’t you want to know?” Damon rolls his eyes and starts down the hallway. 

Kai, now even more confused, follows. “What do you mean by that? I do want to know, that’s why I asked.”

He stops and turns to face the witch. “No, it’s a saying. Like, of course you’d want to know.”

“What?”

“How are you so confused? It’s-”

“I’m a little behind on modern day talk, Damon. It’s been eighteen years, and-”

“Oh well now you just sound like Rose.”

“Who?!”

“Never mind.”

The two stare at each other. Kai never got his question answered, and Damon doesn’t want to respond. With both of them being stubborn as hell, this could take all night. 

Overhead, the music continues to boom, nearly shaking the mansion. Kai feels himself getting a headache. He just wanted to come up here to find you and escape the party, but then was thrown off guard by your actions. Damon being an ass is just making him angry. 

“Just… whatever, I don’t care,” Kai turns around, sighing.

“Wait, hold on-”

“What?!”

“Where are you going?”

“To talk to Y/N.”

“Yeah, um, no, you’re not.”

Kai scoffs, “why not?”

“Because I don’t want you to. You’re in my house. My rules.”

“If I remember right, this is your Uncle Nephew Zach’s house. Who you killed, so he certainly wouldn’t leave it in your name.”

“Well he wouldn’t let you in in the first place, so you’re lucky this is 2013, and not 1994.”

That comment nearly sends Kai over the edge. He’s just about to take a swing at the vampire, but then you poke your head out from your room. 

“Hey!” You whisper-shout, “could you shut up! I’m up here to avoid the noise, and you two brought it back to me.” 

“Look what you did,” Damon hits Kai’s arm, “you made her mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m just annoyed. And you contributed.”

As soon as you appeared, Kai lowered his hand. Now, he’s staring at you with a puppy-dog look that you can’t decipher. “Sorry, Y/N,” he mutters.

“It’s okay. Just keep it down, please?”

Damon smirks, “I’ll keep him in line for you.”

You roll your eyes, then duck back inside and away from them.

Within your thirty second interaction, Kai’s anger went from one hundred to zero. Now Damon looks at him and laughs. “Still gonna hit me?”

“No, we made her upset. She’s trying to find some quiet in this stupid house and we’re disturbing it.”

“Like you care.”

“I care about her.”

He receives a quizzical look. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Do I have to have a reason?”

“Yes. You’re you.”

Kai swallows hard. “I think I’m gonna go. This party is giving me a headache.”

“Okay, spoilsport. I’m gonna go feed on some unsuspecting college girl.”

The boy doesn’t answer. Before he can leave, though, Damon has one more thing to say. “Oh, and Kai? I don’t know what it is that you like about Y/N, or whatever you call it when you don’t want to kill someone, but leave her alone. Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, and don’t tell anyone that you think you care for her ever again. Because you don’t have a heart, you’re a mercilessly killing sociopath. Don’t drag her into your shit, she doesn’t need that.”

“Okay,” he answers, voice small. 

“I’m watching you.”

“Fine.”

For the first time in a while, a part of him actually feels scared. His emotions are already all over the place because of you, but now he’s being told that if he even looks at you, Damon will interfere. He planned to go knock on your door instead of leaving, but now he’s trying to decide if his feelings are worth it. 

The moment the man disappears down the hall, he starts in the other direction towards the stairs. However, as he passes your door, he hesitates. For a second, he still debates knocking. But then Damon’s words ring in his head again, and he knows if he pushes the set boundary, Damon will never let him see you again. So, he makes his way to the railing. 

“Kai?” A small voice calls his name.

He wonders if he imagined it. 

“Malachai,” it says again. 

He turns, carefully, to see your face smiling at him through a crack in your door. 

“Hi,” you wave him towards you. 

Slowly, Kai obeys. Hearing his full name throws him off, and Damon’s words flow right out of his head. “Did you call me ‘Malachai’?”

“Is that okay?”

“Um.”

“Come here,” you interrupt. 

“I shouldn’t-”

“Please.”

He swallows again, looking at the ground. “Y/N-”

“I heard what Damon said. I don’t care.” You bite your lip. “And if he tries to hurt you, he’ll have to get through me.”

Curious now, Kai goes to your door. He walks through when you open it for him, and tries not to look around your room. 

“So you heard…”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t eavesdropping, he’s just loud.”

“Yeah, um…”

“I wish I could say he’s all talk, but… um, let’s just say, he really will have to go through me if he tries. I won’t let him hurt you, Malachai.”

“Kai.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Actually, I don’t hate it coming from you.”

You smile. “Sit with me?”

“Uh, sure.” He follows you, cautiously, to your bed, climbing in beside you. It’s messy, but unexpectedly comfortable. Kai kicks his shoes off before bringing his feet under one of the many blankets. “Can I?” You nod, and he rests his head on one pillow, while tugging another to rest against his stomach.

“You comfortable?”

“Mhm.”

“Good. Want to watch a movie?”

“Okay.”

You had just started one before the two came upstairs, so you only have to replay the five minutes you watched so Kai can see it from the beginning. As it runs, though, his attention is much less focused on the screen, and much more on you. He smiles when you laugh at a particularly funny line, and gives you an endearing look when you nestle into your pillow when a character gets hurt. His emotions are all over the place, but for the first time, he doesn’t want to analyze them. He just wants to feel them; wants to revel in the way you make him feel. 

Halfway through the movie, you catch him off guard. 

“Intermission!” You press pause, then jump off the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

You disappear into the bathroom, and Kai takes his chance to look around your room. Movie and band posters cover the walls, many he recognizes, but some are unfamiliar. The desk beside him is cluttered, but it is in the way that girls somehow know exactly where everything is. He remembers Jo’s nightstand being like that. Their father would scold her to clean it, but she’d argue it worked for her. Jo always won arguments with their father. Kai always lost. 

Kai shivers at the memory, then looks away to dismiss it. His eyes travel to the shirts on the bed, wondering whose they are. Though he stops at a suspiciously familiar one, and pulls it out from the pile. Utter confusion hits him as he looks at it. It’s the gray Brooklyn one he brought back from the prison world. Kai thought he’d lost it, but turns out Y/N somehow stole it. He then shuffles through more of the piles, and finds a couple more of his shirts. Some, he had sworn he threw away, but here they were - in Y/N’s bed. 

A sharp gasp fills the silence as you come out of the bathroom. Kai drops the shirts, afraid he’s embarrassed you. No matter his confusion, he’d hate to lose your companionship. “I’m sorry! I-”

But you don't answer. You climb onto the bed and start rearranging the fabrics again, rather frantically. 

“Y/N?” You don't answer, again. “Hey?” Kai picks up the Brooklyn shirt and waves it in your face. “How’d you get this?”

Finally, you stop. Well, freeze may be a more accurate term. “Um.” 

“It’s okay, I’m just curious. I-”

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have taken that!”

“Wait, it’s okay! I’m just wondering, that’s all. I thought I threw it out.”

You bite your lip in embarrassment, then push your face into the closest pillow. You admit a very muffled, “I dug it out.”

“What was that?”

“I stole it.”

“Princess, I can’t hear you.”

You rise from your hiding spot. “I stole it. I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d notice.”

Kai smiles. “That’s okay. But, um, why?”

“Wanted it.”

“Okay…”

“Smells like you. Wanted it for my nest.”

“For your what?”

“This,” you gesture to the cluttered space around you. “My nest. Safe space.”

“You wanted it because it smelled like me?”

You nod. “You’re safe.”

Kai’s speechless. He doesn’t know what to do, being called ‘safe’. Usually, he’s known as the exact opposite. “How? Um, how do I make you feel safe?”

“Quiet. Stand up to Damon.” Your face blushes. “Plus cute.”

“You think I’m cute?”

With a quick nodding of your head, you push your face back down into the pillow.

Kai blushes his own shade, then leans forward to grab your shoulders. “Awh, no hiding! You can’t drop that on me and shy away!”

A giggle leaves your lips and you squirm away from his touch. Kai only takes that as an invitation to tease you more. He tickles your sides, loving the way he makes you laugh. In no time, he’s making it into a little game. He tickles you for a moment, then rests his hands still. When you’re not expecting it, he starts up again. Every time he stills, you look up at him with anticipation. He smiles at the sight of your big, beautiful eyes, full of wonder about what he’s going to do next. 

By the fourth or fifth round, you’re out of breath and his arms are getting tired. He doesn’t want to let up, not wanting to lose the chance to touch you, but might have to soon. You don’t want him to stop, either. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t waiting ages to feel his hands on you. 

In fact, the deeply buried feelings belonging to both of you go on overdrive. Your skin heats up and mind races at every touch. Your wolf side that has been begging for Kai for weeks finally feels half-satisfied. Kai, on the other hand, who hasn’t had this kind of contact with someone for decades, is lost in the sensation of what it’s like to touch again. Let alone, the one girl for whom he’s managed to develop feelings. 

The game turns serious when you each have realizations about it. Kai gets deep inside his own head, so far that he neglects, for a second, to mind the present. 

Suddenly, there really is heat on your skin. It burns a little, but you find yourself liking the feeling. When you look down, a visible aura under his hand is tinted orange. 

“What’s that?” You ask, nodding to the hand relaxed upon your body. 

Kai looks down immediately, then retracts his hands. They disappear under the blanket, and so does the warmth they were producing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. That was an accident. Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re okay.”

But the boy is still full of apologies. “I should’ve been paying attention. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I-”

You cock your head. “You didn’t hurt me.”

“I- what?”

“Didn’t hurt. Is it supposed to?”

“I- I just siphoned you,” he pauses, “wait, are you a vampire? Witch? How did I siphon you?”

“That’s siphoning?!” He can’t read your expression. “Damon told me some about it, but apparently nothing useful. No, it didn’t hurt at all. Felt warm, a little tingly.”

Kai looks at you, incredulous. “What are you?”

“I’m a wolf,” you reply. As if to prove it, you curl up in your nest and rest your head on a pillow. “Werewolf. Triggered my curse when I was sixteen.”

“Is that why it didn’t hurt?” Neither of you know the answer, but the question still falls from his lips.

You shrug. “I don’t know. Do it again.”

“What?”

“Do it again - the siphon thing.”

“I can’t-”

“Pleaseee,” you practically beg.

Kai’s never had anyone whine for his touch like this. He can’t help but give into your demands. “Tell me if it hurts, I’ll stop immediately.”

“Okay.”

Slowly, he pulls his hands out from under the blanket. At the same time, you uncurl your body to expose an arm to him. 

“I can do it through your shirt.”

“No, do it on my skin.”

He takes a deep breath before reaching out to your arm. His face contorts in concentration as he begins to siphon; the unusual color returns to the point of contact. 

“So you either have no concentration or you have to concentrate really hard?”

Kai nods. “More or less. Tell me when to stop.”

“Don’t.” It burns again, but the sensation travels straight down your spine. Your head feels dizzy, and you have to fight your inner desire to squeeze your legs together. After a while, it gets to be overwhelming, yet you still don’t want him to stop. 

Regardless, he does on his own. The boy smiles. A soft moan escapes his lips as the magic must be trickling throughout his body. This time, you do tuck your legs underneath you, just in case. 

“You didn’t tell me to stop.”

“I didn’t want you to.”

“Y/N, it would’ve hurt eventually.”

“You seemed to like it,” you refer to the little moan he had made. 

Kai blushes. “It feels good whenever I receive magic.”

“Like a warm sensation?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s how my skin was feeling. I liked it, too.”

“It really didn’t hurt?”

“Not at all. Like I said, a slight burn, but… a good burn.”

He nods, seemingly unsure how to react. “So… my shirt. And you said you think I’m cute.”

“I did say that, didn’t I?” 

Immediately, you try to bury your face again, but he catches you before you can get too far. Kai slips a hand under your cheek, then holds the other side of your face with his other hand. Without thinking, he climbs over your body to straddle your waist. You’re stuck beneath him, rendered completely still. 

“I’ve got you now,” he teases. 

You struggle a little, refusing eye contact. 

“Say it, princess. Admit again what you told me. Why’d you steal my shirt, hm? The one I specifically threw in the trash.”

You shake your head in defiance and squeeze your eyes shut. 

“Awh, come on now. You’ve said it once before, you can say it again.”

“Kai-”

“Are you shy? Is that it?”

You struggle against him more, giggling. The more you fight, the more his hips rub up against you. “Kai-” you try again, not sure exactly what you want from him. 

“What’s up?” He stops, grows serious, and removes his hands from your face. “Too much? I’m sorry.”

“No!” You reach up to grab his hands before they can get too far. 

For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other. You link your fingers together in mid-air. A smile graces your face, however the boy looks a tad confused. 

“Kiss me,” you say, finally deciding what you want. 

“Hm?”

“Kiss me.” You unlink your fingers to make a grab for his face. 

Kai leans down into your hands, letting your fingertips hold his cheeks, and his own go back to yours. Then, gently, he kisses you. Your lips work together perfectly; his softer than you expected. Your hands move to the back of his head, lightly scratching at the base of his hairline. The feeling of your nails causes him to deepen the kiss right before he breaks it off. 

“Hi,” you say, a little out of breath. 

“Hi,” he replies cheekily. 

“You’re a good kisser.”

“You’d be the first to know.”

“What?! How is that possible?”

Kai shrugs. He sits upright again, though his legs stay around you. You, meanwhile, prop yourself up on your elbows. The sight of him being so close after weeks of craving him makes your skin feel as hot as it did when he was siphoning. It’s taking everything in you not to push for something more to happen. 

Instead, you give him the explanation he kind of deserves. 

“When I saw you throw those shirts away, I figured you didn’t want them anymore. If you didn’t want them, it could be something of yours I could have without having to talk to you. ‘Cause, I mean, Damon’s pretty much banned us from talking, and I’m too shy to really approach you anyway. But I’ve been observing you. I mean it, when I say you’re a safe person to me. We’ve lived in this same house together for weeks and you’ve never given me a reason to not trust you. I know I don’t really know much about you, aside from what Damon’s said, but that didn’t stop me from forming a little crush. If anything, what he’s said has only made me more curious about you.”

Kai smiles. “You have a crush on me?”

“A teensy one.”

“Really? Only teensy?” He adjusts his hips. A bold move - one he’s hesitant to make - but he can’t stop himself. 

To his delight, you giggle. “Stop! You’re making me blush.”

“A teensy crush, is it? Just a small one?” He’s tickling you again.

“Kai! Fine! It’s not teensy; it’s anything but! I like you,” you grow serious now as his hands still, “a lot.”

“I like you, too, Y/N. Little wolf.”

“Don’t-”

“Don’t call you Little Wolf? I think it’s fitting, with this cute little - what did you call it? - thing, you’ve got going on here?”

“It’s my nest. Don’t make fun.”

“Ah. I would never. I think it’s cozy.”

“You’re not mad I stole your shirts?”

“Not at all, princess. I’m glad you feel safe around me. That’s not something I’m used to hearing.”

“Well get used to it with me.”

“I will certainly try.” He leans forward to kiss your forehead, then another to your lips. 

“Kai?”

“Mhm?”

“Will you cuddle with me? Finish this movie?”

“Of course.”

He climbs off your lap and snuggles back into your side. Already, your legs feel cold without him, but that’s another thing for another time.

You press play on the movie, then nestle yourself closer to him. At some point, both of you drift off into sleep. The party, and the movie, are completely forgotten. 

⁘⁘⁘⁘⁘

The next morning, Damon and the girls are running all over Mystic Falls in search of the lost sociopath. When Kai said he was going to leave, Damon assumed he’d go to the grill for a few hours, wait out the party, and then return to the boarding house. Though by morning, he was neither at the grill, nor in his room. Damon was then quick to alert Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie, and the four of them started to look. 

“Retrace your steps,” Caroline says, after hanging up with Stefan, who hasn’t seen Kai since much earlier the day before, “where did you last see him? Stefan says he saw him in the boarding house kitchen last.”

“Yeah, maybe he never went to the grill at all,” Bonnie agrees. 

The man racks his brain. “He had wandered upstairs, and I was following him, because I didn’t trust him to be alone with that many people in the house. On the way to, presumably, his own room, he passed Y/N’s, and asked me about something she was doing. Oh! He then told me he cares about her, but had no reason as to why, and I told him to never talk to her.”

“He found Y/N?” Bonnie asks, worried. Despite the two of you both currently residing in the house, they tried to keep you separate.

“I was there, thankfully, but yeah. Her door was slightly open.”

“Did you leave him upstairs with her?”

“I mean, I threatened him pretty strongly if he dared to even look at her. To be honest, he looked a little scared.”

“But did you leave him alone up there?”

“Yeah, but-”

He’s cut off by the three girls running to the staircase. Damon sighs, hoping he didn’t fuck up by leaving the boy alone. He thought his threat would’ve been enough warning. 

A second later, a gasp proves to him it wasn’t. When the rest of the search party catches up to Caroline, they all let out their own gasps. 

“Great job,” Bonnie comments, “your threat worked wonders.”

Inside, you and Kai are curled tightly into each other. Your head is pulled into his chest and his chin rests atop it. Kai’s arms are on your back, while yours rest lazily across his side. Your legs tangle beneath the sheets, blankets, and shirts that make up your cozy hideout. Your laptop, somehow, remains undamaged in the middle of the bed. 

“I don’t know how this happened! I threatened him badly!”

“It was probably Y/N, if it wasn’t Kai. You forget she can be a little spitfire when she wants to be. And the fact that she’s been nesting recently…” Elena doesn’t need to finish her sentence; they know what she means. 

“Dammit!” Damon curses, more to himself than anyone else. 

Caroline sighs. “Let’s just… let them sleep, and we can lecture them later. Okay? Okay.” 

Despite the group’s protests, she shuts the door and leaves the two of you alone.

[roseyhearts5]

I promise

————————————————————————

summary: Owen and reader work together with the velociraptors. When the two find Claire and her nephews in the forest with the van she happens to attract one of them.

Disclaimer: Readers 18 so like 2 years older than Zach, Zach does not have a girlfriend in this so like he’s nawt cheating guys I swear, cursing, gun use, dinosaurs 😋

————————————————————————

“Hoskins you can’t do this! Once Owen finds out what you’re planning he’s gunna get over here and beat your ass, you want that? Huh?” I confront Hoskins with my hands on my hips. He’s got some crazy plan to use the velociraptors to hunt down the escaped dinosaur.

“Sure he will (name), that is, if he gets here. How d’you know that dinosaur hasn’t gotten him already?” He laughed at me.

“Are you kidding me right now? How are you so sure it has?” Then, a jeep pulled up outside of the velociraptors enclosure. Owen stepped out of the drivers side. “Well would you look at that!” I threw my hands in the air and made my way to Owen, Hoskins trailing behind me. “I-I tried to stop him Owen I did, but he wouldn’t listen to me,” I explained frantically, my voice cracking. I already had a rough time with the people seeing me as someone who could be in control one day, and Hoskins will be my breaking point if I waste anymore time talking to him.

“You’re fine (name). I know what happened.” Owen held a hand up at me and I walked beside Claire. I had only met her a few times but I know she had something going on with my boss.

“Hey Claire, how you doing?” I looked behind me into the jeep and saw two boys. One that looked like he wasn’t even a teen and the other maybe a year or two younger than me. “They yours?” I looked at her.

“Uh- no,” she stifled a laugh, “ they’re my nephews.”

“Oh, alright,” we then turn around and watch Hoskins make his way up to Owen. Owen barely lets him speak before socking him right in the jaw. I let out a gasp and put my hands up to my mouth.

“Get the hell out of here, and stay away from my animals,” Owen spat at him, a stern look painting his face. He valued the raptors health more than his own sometimes.

“Hoskins you wanted this to happen, you son of a bitch,” Claire stepped in next to Owen, I went on the other side of him.

“Oh, Jesus. How many more people have to die before this mission makes sense to you?” Hoskins looked at all 3 of us, a disgusted look on his face.

Barry came over to us, “it’s not a mission, it’s a field test.”

“This is an InGen situation now. Okay, there are going to be cruise ships, that show up here at first light, everybody’s gunna get off this island, you’re gunna watch a news story tomorrow, about how you all saved lives. No, no, no, better yet, how your animals, saved lives.”

It was my turn to step in now, “Hoskins, letting the raptors out of containment would just put the people in even more danger. They have never, EVER, been let out of there. Letting them free would just be a whole other problem.” Barry looked at me, then Owen.

“She’s right. It’s crazy.” Hoskins then tells his people to move it out. Then he turns back around to Owen.

“This is happening, with or without you.” Owen then looks down at me on his right. I have my moment to think about it, then nod my head.

“Owen with you working with it, the raptors will be more under control than if this lunatic were to do it alone,” I pointed at Hoskins.

“Okay, come on then.” He grabbed my arm and we went with Hoskins and Barry to the tent across from the raptors enclosure. Once we were in there, there was a whole bunch of armed men. I was next to Owen as he pointed at a map, “We know that shes in sector 5, this is a game we call hide-and-seek, it’s a scent drill, we’ve done it about a thousand times with these animals. When they get on target, and they will get on target, wait to engage. Velociraptors are pack hunters.” He nods on to me for me to continue.

“They like to herd the animal into a kill zone, that when we can make our move.” Owen smiled at me then gave me a fist bump.

“That’s right, get a clear shot, wait on my command, and give her everything you got. We got one good target gentlemen,” he turned to me, “and lady,” I give him a cheeky look, bowing my head. “Do not shot my raptors. Please.” We then make our way over to the raptors. I handle Charlie. She had always favored me, just like Delta was fond of Barry, and Blue only really listened to Owen. (A/n I dunno if Charlie’s a girl or boy so I’m just making her a girl sorry if she isn’t 😞)

“Easy babydoll, I got you,” I rubbed under her chin, “settle for me,” I then disconnected her head piece. I cooed at her and scratched her chin, she groaned at me in return, “Good girl! Good job Charlie!” I turned to look at Owen with Blue, “Look Owen!” he smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up.

“Good job kid. I’m lucky you work with me. She’s always been easier when you’re around.” I continued to mess around with her when I heard a voice.

“Owen!” I turned around and it was Claire’s nephews. Owen walked over to them. I felt the older of the twos eyes on me and wagged my fingers at him, and his cheeks dusted a pale pink, slowly waving back. “Are they safe?” The little one asked. I had forgot to get their names from Claire. I walk over alongside Owen, and give a face splitting grin at the boys.

“No, they’re not.” Owen looked at him seriously. The older one then spoke up.

“What are their names?” He looked at Owen, then turned to me. Owen looked at me.

“you can tell them.” He nudged my shoulder, making me laugh.

“That’s Charlie,” Owen cut me off.

“She listens to her the most. Which is surprising honestly. She’s always been more aggressive but when she started working here, Charlie changed her whole attitude around.”

“Well obviously,” I shrugged my shoulders, “anyways, that’s Echo, then Delta, and lastly Blue.” I put my hands in my hips then looked at Owen.

“She’s the beta.” Owen said. The little one spoke again.

“who’s the alpha?”

“You’re lookin’ at him, kid.” This caused them to smile at him. I waved at them both as they went to their aunt Claire. The older one looked at me, as if he were in a daze, and slowly waved back. ————————————————————————

Time goes by and Owen and I took the headgear off of the raptors and put them in their personal cages. Owen holds up a pound or so of meat from the Indominous rex.

“Sooo, do I get a gun?” I leaned on the wall next to Charlie’s cage. Owen looked at me.

“Yeah, probably, go ask them to give you a rifle or something.” I push myself off the wall and go out to the men with guns.

I tap one on the shoulder. He turns around and looks me up and down. “Can I get one of those guns? Maybe an AR or something?” He laughs at me.

“A girl like you? How old even are you?”

“18 and old enough to handle a man-eating dinosaur. I’m sure I can take a gun.” He looks surprised at me. “You gunna give me one or what?” He smiles and nods his head at me then leads me to the guns. “Alright, little girl, take your pick.” I pick up an AR and nod at them, putting it on my back. I leave the tent and see Claires oldest nephew looking at me again.

I smirk at him and wave. He’s cute. I peer from side to side and begin striding over to him. “Hey,” I stop infront of him.

“Hey.. what you do is pretty cool. For the raptors and everything.” He fiddles with his finger for a quick second before looking back up at me.

“Thanks, babe! You gunna make sure your aunts safe without Owen here?” I pop my hip out and tilt my head at him.

“yes, yeah for sure.” He leans back against the van, hands in his pocket.

“Alright, stay safe yourself hun.”

“you too,” he mutters quickly, I lift my chin to him and place my hands behind my back, before going to find Barry in front of the jeep. There was a four wheeler then two motorcycles. I get on one of the motorcycle. Owen comes over not long after and gets on the other. He looks up at the new guy, then nods his head. New guy nodded back, then pressed the button to open the cages and the raptors ran out.

“Aw here we go,” I said and rode right after Owen and Barry. The raptors had night vision cameras on the side of their head that I’m sure Claire and corporate could see.

“(Name)! You follow me alright?” Owen called out to me.

“Gotchu!” I raised a thumb at him, and raced quickly after, separating from Barry and the others. We managed to keep up with the raptors, me riding behind them, Owen between the four of them. ————————————————————————

(Quick) Zach’s POV

Gray and I looked through the window from the back to where Aunt Claire sat in the drivers seat. I looked over her shoulder at the I-pad in her hands where she could see Owen and the other girl riding with the raptors. “Your boyfriend’s a badass, and that girl too. What’s her name?” I reached out and pointed at the girl.

“That’s (name). She’s a few years older than you Zach,” Aunt Claire looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, alright I was just asking.” I held my hands up in defense, she rolled her eyes at me, smiling, but I quickly looked back to the girl, I now knew as (name).

————————————————————————

(Names) POV

I looked ahead at the raptors and Owen. “They’re slowing down.” Barry said. I looked over at him and started coming to a slow myself. Then Owen stops. He holds his hand up in a fist and the soldiers get out of the cars with their weapons up. I get off my motorcycle and take my AR off my back. The soldiers rush ahead of me, Barry, and Owen and I follow quickly after looking around. We hide behind a fallen tree, me between Barry and Owen. I hold my gun up. The raptors wait. I can hear large steps being made and the Rex eventually travels itself from the trees.

“Holy shit-“ I whisper.

“Something’s wrong. They’re communicating.” Barry says as the Rex and Raptors make small roars at each other.

“I know why they wouldn’t tell us what it’s made of,” Owen says as he stares at the Indominous Rex.

“Why?” I say, and look at him.

“That things part raptor,” my eyes widen and I look away from Owen at the Rex. It starts backing up and the raptors turn around and look at us all.

“What are they doing?” I ask. Owen doesn’t respond. A soldier yells after I ask.

“Engage!” We start firing st the Rex and it backs away. A soldier lets off a rocket(I dunno what else to call it 😭) and the Indominous falls over. Everyone stops shooting. I stand up next to Owen. We keep firing and it ends up running away.

“On your six! Raptors got a new alpha!” Owen yells as we follow after the Indominous. I turn, back and forth looking for the raptors. They could come out at anytime. Then a soldier behind me yells, a raptor on top of him. I run close to Owen, soldiers around us getting attacked by the raptors. Owen and I stay quiet and we see a raptor eating someone. Becuase of the darkness I can’t make out which one it is. It looks up and stares at Owen and I. None of us make a move. Behind the raptor though, a rocket comes through the trees, blowing it up. I go flying back from the impact and shout.

We run towards our bikes and I see that the one I rode in was taken by a soldier. “Owen! My bikes gone,” he looks at me and pats the back of his bike. I climb on and we look ahead. I can hear Barry yelling but I can’t see him, he’s in the log I think. Blue is on top of it, trying to get to Barry. Owen starts revving the bike, distracting blue from Barry. He whistles and rides off, Blue filling after us. I hold on tightly to Owen. I turn around a few times. After one I noticed Blue stopped following us. “Blues not behind us anymore!”

“Alright, keep an eye out for her!” I nod my head and look around for her. I never see her but I also don’t see the other raptors. I eventually hear the raptors. The more we go the closer they sound. Then, I see the bright lights of a van, “isn’t that the van Claire and her nephews where in?”

“I think so.” Owen speeds up behind the van.

“Owen!” I hear 2 people yell. I look from behind and wave at them. They wave back and whoop. Owen rides up next to the drivers side.

“We gotta get indoors! Follow me!” He yells to Claire and drives in front of the van. We stop in front of the big volcano building. I get off the back of the bike and take my AR off my back. I run next to Owen and look behind me at the others. We then go inside the Hammond Creation Lab.

“Control room! That way!” Clair shouts as we make our way there. When we get in I stand in front of with Owen. I hold my gun up as we hear glass breaking in one of the lab stations. “They evacuated the lab.” Claire said. I looked at her and stayed behind as they walked forward so we had weapons in the front and back. When we got in the station, we looked at all the small reptiles. Then a door opened and people came out looking something away. “What are you doing?”

“I’m afraid that above your pay grade, honey.” Hoskins stepped out.

“you’ve gotta be kidding me,” I roll my eyes.

“Where’s Henry?” Claire asks as Hoskins walks closer to us.

“Dr. Wu works for us,” he smiles at us.

“That’s not a real dinosaur,” the little boy speaks up as he looks at the monitor screen.

“No, it ain’t kid, but somebody’s gotta make sure this company has a future, imagine: that one, a fraction of the size, deadly, intelligent, able to hide from the most advanced military technology. A living weapon, unlike anything we’ve ever seen. See, millions of years of evolution. Nature is the gift-“ he was cut off by a roar. “Oh shit!” A raptor comes out. “Easy, easy boy! Easy,” Hoskins was backed against a wall. I made sure the boys were behind me as Owen backed us up, away from the scene. “We’re- we’re in the same side, right? Right? Easy, easy, I’m on your side,” he held a hand out to the raptor. Slowly he pushed it forward but the raptor went to bite his hand. I gasped and turned to bring the little boy closer to me. Hoskins let out a bloodcurdling scream.

“Go, go,” I said as I pushed the little boy out from the room. We started running towards the center. The raptor is thrown out of the glass room and blocks our way from getting out. Claire turns us around and we go the other way. The little boy taps a hologram to distract the raptor so we can get out. We manage to get outside again but when we get out there Blue stops us, along with Delta. Then we have all three on each side of us.

“so that’s how it is huh?” Owen asks. He puts down his rifle. He holds his hand out to Blue. “Easy.” He undoes the strap along her head, “that’s it,” I smile. She seems to calm down. I nudge the older boy.

“Think you can do that?” I smile. He skates his head.

“No ma’am.” This caused me to laugh. Then the Indominous comes roaring from behind Blue. Blue looks back at Owen, away from the Indominous and starts chittering, almost as if she were talking to him. She then turns and roars at the Indominous. She roars back, much louder. She slams Blue away and Blue slams against a building. Owen starts backing us up and I grab into the older ones arm. He looks at me l, but quickly looks back ahead. Delta and Echo start roaring at the Indominous. Owen whistles and the raptors start running at the Indominous. They hop on top of her and while they distract her we run around them. Claire and her nephews climb into the window of an item shop while Owen and I stay out to shoot at the Indominous. As I reload my gun I turn around and see Claire running. I look at Owen, who sees her as well. Owen runs towards the boys in the item shop. I run right after him and hop inside. Owen shushes the boys while I reload just in case.

I look up and see the Indominous. She starts slamming against the item shop and breaks one of her arms in, clawing at the little boy. I shoot at its arm while the others go against a wall. It claws at the others and I run out of bullets, “Shit!” One of its claws gets ahold in the little boy. The older one reaches over and uncles his fanny pack and it the claw releases from the little boy. I crawl over to him. “Are you ok? Did it cut you anywhere? What’s your name?” I hold his face, and wipe away his tears.

“Gray, I-I’m okay.” I hics as he speaks.

“Ok, I’m (name). I’m so sorry that happened I promise I’ll try my best to prevent anything from happening to you again alright?” He nods his head. I look at the older one.

“And what’s your name?”

“Zach.” He says.

“Zach. Okay Zach. Great job. I saw you unclip his fanny pack.” I tap his leg. I look at Owen. He nods. He knew I was better at dealing with emotions than him. Then a red flare hits against the Indominous. I look outside the window of the shop. “It’s Claire! She just brought a whole ass T-Rex here!” I said laughing. Owen, Gray, and Zach come up next to me to look out the window. They start fighting and the Indominous slams the T-Rex around. She grabs the T-Rex’s head and slams it into the shop we were in. I hold onto Gray and Owen holds onto Zach. The T-Rex roars into the shop. And bites at us. I let go of Gray and look over at Claire.

“Run!” She shouts at us.

“Go, go, go!” Owen push’s us all out of the shop and we run to Claire. The Indominous holds the T-Rex down and is about to bite its neck before we hear another roar. it was blue. She jumped onto the back of the Indominous and saved enough time for the T-Rex to get up and but the Indominous, ramming it into the building. We ran into another building, the Dino’s fighting close to us. As we run through, the T-Rex and Blue seem to be dominating the Indominous. They get close to the mosasaurus’ enclosure and it flies up out of the water, biting the Indominous, dragging it underwater.

“Oh, shit!” The T-Rex and Bkue remain, staring at each other. We walk out from behind the building and Blue looks at Owen. He shakes his head, and she runs after the T-Rex. We walk out and look around. I walk next to Zach.

“oh, wow.” He says. I look up at him and reach for his arm.

“You alright?” I ask.

“I’m alive,” he chuckled. I smiled up at him.

“Yeah.” I rub his arm then let go, looking at his forehead. I lift his hair up a little bit, “just a little cut right there,” I brush over it and he holds my arm lightly. “Alright I’ll see you later alright?” I then walk over to Owen.

————————————————————————

Claire took Zach and Gray to the shelter where all the visitors were staying. Owen and I worked around the shelter, making sure people got what they needed, be it water, food, bandages, etc. in the morning, Zach and Grays parents showed up. I was with Owen and we were working with an old woman when he looked over at Claire. I noticed him looking. “Let’s go over there,” I say, “I’m sure Zach and Grays parents wanna meet the hero that helped protect their kids the whole night,” I punch his arm lightly.

“Alright, come on,” we head over to their cot. Owen stays behind with Claire and they talk while I go get to Zach and Grays cots.

“Hey,” I say, their parents looking at me. Gray stood up and hugged me tightly.

“(Name)! Mom, dad, this is (name) she helped protect us with Owen and Aunt Claire yesterday. She’s also the one that helped us patch up our injuries,” Gray told them as he continued to hug me. I laughed and looked at Zach

“I didn’t do to much,” I rubbed Grays back and he let go of me.

“Oh my goodness, I can’t thank you enough just for being there with them,” their mom came over and embraced me in a hug, their dad following suit. When they let go I sat next to Zach.

“Hey babe,” I rested my arm on his shoulder.

“Hey (name), uh can I talk to you, somewhere else?” I look up at him.

“yeah sure come on,” we went to a more private place so we could talk. “What’s up?”

“(Name)… I think you’re really cool and I wanna get to know you more so could I uh- could I get your number?” he held my hand while he spoke softly rubbing it. I smiled and bit my lip.

“Yeah sure. I’ll write it down for you.” I pulled out my mini notebook from my shorts and the pen I always have attached to it. I wrote my number and my name down then tore it off and handed it to him. I grabbed his shoulders and stood on my tiptoes giving him a kiss on his cheek. “Bye Zach. Call me when you get the chance alright?” I waved bye to him as he was left with a smitten smile on his face. ————————————————————————

Hi everyone! This took me a day or so cuz like I had to rewatch the movie for it to make more sense like what was happening I was thinking abt a part 2 but idk how to so if yall do want a part to lmk 😊😊😊💕

[onlymurdersintheafterparty]

OMITB S4:E8 "Lifeboat"

This episode was really interesting. More questions answered and even more created now that we know what went on with the Westies. Given all the theories out there the ending wasn't too surprising but I do wonder how all of this will be explained in the final episode. At this point I don't have many theories left I'm just waiting on the denouement. All in all I enjoyed it. Spoilers ahead!

I can't believe Dudenoff's death was that simple. I'm not even going to lie I just found the whole thing so sad. He was lonely and grieving his wife and then created a found family that he loved so much he wanted to protect them even in death. Poor Helga who was so scared and convinced that someone did something to him. What I don't understand though is why they called her the wrong kind of Westie and scratched her face out in the picture. They acted like she was a villain or something when all she was trying to do was figure out what happened to Dudenoff. There was a theory on the subreddit that Helga was the one giving Sazz information and now it's confirmed so this is a new turn of events. I'm with Mabel on not ratting them out but with Dudenoff confirmed to be dead how are they going to continue this rent scheme? The police know so the jig is up. Or is this reveal just so that the trio would sympathize with them and not rat them out to the police?

Glen being the stuntman that Sazz was referring to still feels like a red herring to me. We know that he is mentally unwell because of the hallucinated rats but I still don't think he's our killer. I'm thinking Glen is part of the group that killed Sazz and the mastermind shot him to keep him from confessing or it's as simple as the common theory that Marshall is the killer and shot him because he recognized him outside of his disguise. With Glen being in a coma we probably won't learn either outcome until the season finale or the very end of the next episode. Sazz said that this stuntman messed up badly and would be the death of her. She's dead and he's in a coma so she was right but the fact that he was shot means that some sort of cover up is in place for whatever it is that he did and whoever else knows it.

The Westies showing up and waving a knife and everyone just going along with it is so wild to me. It was 6 against 5 and I know Rudy is fit but surely they could have still held their own. It makes sense they didn't react though because they needed the confession. Rudy doing the entire monologue and everyone progressively getting emotionally drained was so funny. Zach has had the funniest quotes this season and I hope someone does a video edit including them all.

Charles really needs therapy when the case is solved because the way he's unraveling and doesn't even know how to process his anger is so sad to watch. Eugene better be careful what he wishes for because when Charles fully snaps and lets all his anger out it's not going to be pretty. I wouldn't be surprised if upon learning who killed Sazz he attacks them (not fatally) and has a full breakdown.

Every week I see the same theory that Loretta will die and I'm starting to get scared this may actually happen. I get them being sentimental about The Arconia but it's full of so much death I can't believe that they would plan their wedding there. Oliver has lost so much and Charles just lost his best friend so do you think the writers will really go there? Maybe it will be a bridesmaid or someone else in the bridal or groom party who is killed. I just feel like instead of killing her off they can just write out her character by saying that she and Oliver travel back and forth to see each other and that explains why she's not onscreen. They've been making it work now so no need to take such a dark route.

I'm so excited for the last two episodes and to see how this all plays out. The Westies never confirmed that it was them sending the letters or bugging the apartments so the mastermind is still out there waiting. This also means that there must be another murder that has gone unnoticed. On a recent youtube video, Matt & Jess TV mentioned Charles' quote in the pilot about the bodies buried in the back of a 14 story building as well as Marv mentioning the Sixth Street Slasher so it looks like there's still a cold case to solve.

And to wrap this all up I just have one question: WHERE IS THEO?

[mysticstarlightduck]

WIP Drinking Game!

Thanks for the tag, @oh-no-another-idea (here)! Let's go with with Scrapyard Boys and What Lurks In The Hollow!

Scrapyard Boys: Take a Shot When...

Valen says more than one swear word in the same sentence

Adahm brutally murders someone until they're shreds and then flips the switch immediatly to be the most loving brother to Taylen in the most jarring way possible to anyone else around them.

Riley scares everyone with his freaky intellect.

Saoirse gets uncomfortable around mentions of fire or doesn't know how to feel about being friends with a fire mutant.

Rhys and Gwyn make their half-brother Adrien age at least ten years spiritually every time they pull off another insane shenanigan.

Luke has more street cred than most hardened criminals

Max blows out someone's eardrums and/or brains out with her scream powers and then panickedly calls her dad to help her deal with the aftermath with a movie night.

Keilly wonders how TF she got stuck with this group of fucked up weirdos as her friends and is Done With Life at the fact her powers make her the designated healer.

Karima is the most neurotic yet most efficient sniper alive <3

What Lurks In The Hollow: Take a Shot When...

Dylan worries about money and has a pessimistic/Grumpy As Hell outlook to anything in life

Liam & Savvy spend the entire day at the arcade and/or possibly get into a brawl with the local bullies right after

Amy feels creeped out by the woods and the town

The Millhan siblings have a horror movie night or make a horror movie reference

Conner makes cowboy analogies and speaks with a heartwarming sourthern drawl

Savvy has a panic attack and hides it under her temper like a fucked up pressure cooker

Erin just wants to have one normal day but the universe says NOPE ✨

Mrs. Draycott is a creepy stalker that deserves to rot in hell

Some random townsfolk says something ominous, eerie or out of place behind a doll-like smile like nothing is happening

Christine indulges in chaos and generally just lives in her own little world

Zach is listening to music on his old headphones and bopping his head to it

The ghost kids make you want to cry and give them a hug and murder the Mayor just like he killed them---

Dylan doesn't know how to express his feelings and would essentially win the Emotionally Stunted Award for the year

Something really traumatizing happens and Indie is just having the time of her life

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @finickyfelix

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid,

@thelovelymachinery, @an-indecisive-nerd, @thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams

@wyked-ao3 and OPEN TAG

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 8

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

I wanna add we're really heavy on the birth/pregnancy, forced birth, choking, domestic violence, threats of hanging and murder. Can't say I didn't warning yuh (unless i missed a warning of course. then please let me know so i cant edit ASAP) Like this is a rough chapter, a lot of violence to a pregnant woman. but I wanna say right now...

The baby will not be harmed in anyway. Baby will be born healthy, and live and have a good life in both the main ending and alt ending.

5k words (sorry not sorry lol)

Also to clarify a few things I guess i didn't make clear enough in previous chapters!

Joel only 'guessed' that Tommy and LO slept together. He had suspicions but thought he could trust Tommy and his 'girlfriend'. When LO rushed to stop Joel from hurting Tommy, that was his 'evidence'. Joel was beating Tommy because he found out about Maria.

Joel only heard part of the conversation between Zach and Little One. Nick said way back in chapter 3 the wall are thinner than she thinks. He didn't know Lorenzo had any part of it, and because LO didn't rat him out, he never will.

Thats my bad for not being clear!

Can you catch the Superstore homage? (aka i rewatched two episodes just to take it line for line lol)

***************

Month 3

No one warned you about morning sickness. 

You knew fuck all about sex before you came to Joel’s, just a thing or two from your friend back at the ranch and how to get a man off with your mouth or hands, but pregnancy and birth was next to nothing. You didn’t even know how pregnancy happened really, other than a penis in a vagina until you asked Tommy early on if you were going to get pregnant. After a very uncomfortable talk for both of you, Tommy explained that Joel told him he pulls out, so you should be good… Lorenzo said you can still get pregnant that way, but thinking back to the night Joel almost killed Tommy and you… Joel finished inside… the timing added up. 

Pregnancy and birth were entirely unknown to you, and you wished someone would just give you a heads up. Joel had a daughter and no doubt had been through at least once pregnancy, and Lorenzo had mentioned 4 of his 6 older sisters got pregnant before leaving the house… something about no sex education, men too old for them, and their religion not believing in birth control or abortion… but you didn’t know what half those words meant, and after Lorenzo mercilessly made fun of you for days about not knowing Joel’s song for you was actually a very famous song, you didn’t dare ask him about the words, or anything with pregnancy. You didn’t want to ask Joel either, not wanting to give away how terrified you were, not wanting him to think you didn’t want to… But you did! You did want this baby, you reminded yourself again and again and again, because Joel was good to you, Joel took care of you, Joel would care for this baby too. You’d be bound to him, and he’d never get tired of you this way, and he wouldn’t hurt the mother of his child, right?

The birth was something you tried not to think about.

So here you were, puking your gut out before you even had breakfast and Joel held your hair back.

“Shhh, shhhhhhh” he coo’d and you heaved, yellow bile and acid coming up from inside you since the little food in your stomach from dinner had been thrown up 5 minuets ago.

With a final spit into the toilet, you sink back and Joel wipes your mouth for you. “I think that’s it.” You mutter, and Joel carries you into your shared bedroom, laying you down with the care of an infant before kissing your forehead. 

“Don’t worry about breakfast, little one. I don’t need anything this morning.” He says before kissing your cheek. But you were worrying about breakfast, because you wanted it… but the only way you’d be getting food is if you made it. Tommy wasn’t here to care for you anymore. “I’ll be gone until the evening, what's for dinner?”

The thought of cooking, the thought of raw meats and the strong smells of spices made you want to vomit again. “I dunno…”

“I think a few of them chickens is ready to be butchered, you ever made chicken parmesan? We got that cheese I brought back yesterday, you could make something like that.”

You groan a bit, exhausted and tired despite being only 3 months in. You didn’t sleep at all last night, nightmares of the past and the future plaguing you. He knew that you didn’t sleep, you had told him… “Joel I can’t, the butchering, I feel so-”

“I’ll make Lorenzo do it.” He promises. “Chicken parmesan it is then?” He decided for you. What he didn’t understand is it wasn’t just butchering a few chickens. To make chicken parm you need chicken breasts, not the rest of it. You didn’t waste meat, so Lorenzo kills (you could do it on a normal day, but not with your heightened smell) then you pluck, clean, Lorenzo butchers, then you have to separate the different parts and put them into hygienic storage and take them to the freezer locker, then thoroughly clean yourself, all the tools and surfaces (and Lorenzo) to prevent illness. It would take hours. But Joel didn’t see that, he only ever saw the food at the end of his day.

“Okay” You agree reluctantly, and he begins kissing your neck and groping you, no doubt wanting a quicky before a long day of unspeakable violence. “Joel, please, I don’t feel good.” You beg him not to, but you learned in the past that this never got far.

His morning breath wasn’t helping anything as he tugged down your shorts. “I’ll be quick.”

You knew what that meant. Joel slid into you with no prep, no lubrication, and it burned. The steady rocking was the last thing you needed right now, and with his head buried in your neck, you covered your mouth as the nausea took over. You threw up, but like everything the last several months, you just swallowed it down again to deal with when Joel was gone. When he came inside (wasn’t he worried about you getting pregnant again?) you quickly pull up your pants and run to the bathroom, pushing past Lorenzo no doubt on his way to babysitting duties with you. 

As he watched you run past and heard the sounds of throwing up, Lorenzo caught Joel’s arm as he brushed past. “Peppermint or ginger. Find it, whatever form it's in. Oils, drops, whatever. If you can find the leaves or the root we can make it into a tea. Just find it, it’ll help her nausea.”

Month 4

“Okay Lorenzo, I got a question for you, and you can’t make fun of me.” You say as you cook, the swell of your belly beginning to show now.

“No guarantees.” He says, sitting his drink. How did he find so much alcohol?

“Fine. Okay… when Joel and I have sex-”

He visibly cringed. “Since when do we talk about our sex lives?” 

“Renzo.”

“Fine, go on. But remember I’m not exactly an expert on female anatomy.”

You take a deep breath. “Okay. Well I told you he always pulls out right? Um… ever since I told him im pregnant… he doesn’t.”

Lorenzo waits for you to continue, but you don’t. You think that’s it. “What the problem?”

You continue to avoid looking at him, stirring the soup. “Well.. what if I get pregnant again?”

He stares at you like he’s trying to make sense of your question before the recognition sets in. “OH!” But before he explains what he means… his face shifts… theres something sad in there, a hint of pain in his eyes you only saw once, the face he had as he looked at you in disgust while Joel carried you from the bedroom to the bath while you were covered head to toe in spit and cum and period blood… was it pity? “Jesus kid… No one really taught you anything, did they?”

“C’mon, just tell me.”

Scrubbing his face, he sighed. “No, you can’t get pregnant while your already pregnant.”

Oh. “Wait… really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Ah. Okay then.”

There was a long, long silence before he spoke again. “If you got any other question about, like… pregnancy and birth… I can try and answer.”

Joel had been trying to find a doctor, a midwife, something for you… but it was slim pickings in Wyoming. 

Five minuets later, you were squealing, covering your ears, but laughing. “Ew! What the hell is a mucus plug! You know what, I don’t wanna-”

“IT’S A PLUG FULL OF MUCUS IN YOUR VAGINA WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?!” He yells loud enough to get past your attempt at blocking your ears. 

“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” But you still could.

“Honestly in the last month or two all kinds of weird things are gonna come out of you including but not limited to a very slimey and weird looking baby.”

You gasp, feigning indignance. “How dare you insult my unborn child!”

“It ain’t personal, sweetheart. All babies look ugly as fuck as newborns. Now, let’s get back to the gritty details.”

With a squeal, you try to run away. “No! I know enough!” But you’re laughing. It felt like you were messing around with Zach back in your childhood home. 

“My sister Elaina lost like 4 teeth.”

“AAAHHHHH!”

Month 5

Joel had finally found a midwife of sorts. Well, technically, Jack did, as it was his cousin. Maura had been a nurse in the birthing wing a short time before everything went to shit and had been helping women deliver babies ever since. Initially, she told Jack to keep his mouth shut. She hated Joel and didn’t want a thing to do with him, but when no one else showed up and you were in your 5th month, she relented, purely for the sake of the innocent kidnapped girl. 

“Put the fucking gun away, Joel.” She said as she entered your room, grabbing the barrel in Joel’s hands and pointing it to the floor. “Point that shit at me again and I’m not helping your child bride.” She stared him down, head tilted up only slightly to reach his eyes. If she was intimidated by Joel, she wouldn’t

Joel glared at her, but he didn’t have many options. “If you hurt her-”

“From what I hear, you’re doing enough of that yourself. Now, you stand up against the wall and watch if you want to, but don’t interfere, and do not try to intimidate me, understood?”

You watched in awe as she stood her ground… It had been months before you had done anything of the sort against Joel, only standing up to him when Tommy’s life was in danger. Joel gave a curt nod and she turn to approach where you lay, sat up against some pillows.

A gentle smile was on her face, but it was clear she was here for business. Still, her confidence and certainty put you at ease.

“My name’s Maura, I’ll be helping deliver this baby.” She was beautiful, with long black hair and a light smattering of freckles on her face, but got straight to the point. It was clear she knew what she was doing, asking you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet and examining you. When she was done, she stood up, looking at you, not Joel. “It seems despite the circumstances-”

Joel tried to interrupt. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean”

But Maura ignored him, keeping your attention with her bright brown eyes. “Despite the circumstances, everything appears to be progressing naturally, theres no cause for concern as of right now. But you need to keep things low stress.” It was then she turned to glare at Joel, to emphasize her point.

Maura said she’d be staying near-by and Joel was paying her a hefty price for her services. When you’d go into labor, Joel was to send a man on horse to fetch her, preferably Jack, but she warned she would armed, and she’d be there shortly.

That night, Joel held you close as you discussed baby names. 

“How about Loretta? Like that singer you liked?”

Joel hums, none commital. “I always liked Dorothy, we could call her Dolly as a nickname. I know you like Dolly Parton” Joel had been teaching you about old country music, and you certainly had a few favorites. Not knowing many women in general, your pool of girl names was not strong so you drew from singers he’d mentioned. 

You scrunch up your nose a bit at that. “I like Dolly, I don’t like Dorothy.”

“It was my grandmas name, I’d really like to name our daughter after her.” His voice had that tone to it, the one that left little room to argue, but you tried to push past Dorothy.

“Maybe June? Like June Carter?” You knew how particle he was to Johnny Cash, but also... that was the name of the only friend you had before Tommy.

“That’s beautiful, little one, June it is.” He smiles into your skin, and you think you’ve won, when he says. “Dorothy June.” 

He had already decided, and there was no real option to argue or change his mind. You’d just call her Dolly, then.

You had one thing you really, really wanted for boy name, and you desperately hoped you could get it, but you couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t want any more kids so this was your only shot. You hadn’t even wanted this one, but as your stomach swelled with life, motherly love came with it and you decided you’d make the best of the situation. The child inside you was your number one priority. “Okay, boys? I really like Caleab… It’s my favorite boy name…” You didn’t have to tell him that was Zach’s middle name.

“I like it, bebita.” 

You got what you wanted. You knew Joel was hoping for a girl, so you figured he was less particular on the boy name. 

“Got any ideas for the middle name?” You ask him.

“Nothing in mind, really. I’m open…” He kisses your neck.  “Anything you want?”

You keep quiet. The name you wanted… he’d never go for.

Joel pulled you closer, nuzzling his face against you as he whispered. “Ah. I see.” You freeze. Tommy hadn’t been so much as alluded to since he barely made it out alive and you thought for sure Joel would have a fit, and you began to prepare yourself to feel a hand wrapped around your throat… But he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed into your locks as he settled down for bed. “Caleb Thomas”

Month 6 

Lorenzo was getting on your fucking nerves today, and you were about to fling the frying pan, bubbling grease and all, at his face. 

“Will you shut up?”

“No, I’m not going to shut up because you are being fucking stupid!” Instead of his usual spot sitting at the kitchen table, he’s standing, arms crossed, in the doorway as you tried to get diner done. “I told you the first day, you are a dumb. Bitch.” he was drunk, three sheets to the wind and absolutely no filter.

“You have no fucking idea what I am! I am trying to fucking survive, Lorenzo, I am trying to keep myself and this baby-”

“You are playing housewife to a serial murder and a rapist!” He yells at you, clearly frustrated. “You are rewarding all the bad things he’s ever done you just give positive reinforcement-”

“Don’t fucking blame me! I’m not reinforcing the bad, I’m reinforcing the good!” You storm over to him, glaring Lorenzo down. “You have no fucking idea how bad things were! I used to dream about killing myself, about dying, about Joel finally snapping and doing it! I am doing the best in the conditions I have!”

“You could have left! You could have left with Zach and gone off with him for fucks sake!”

With a burst of anger you didn’t know was even in you anymore, you shove him, hard, causing the drunk to fall over. “You wanna know what he did last time I tried to run? He caught me within 10 minuets, dragged me back and chained me to this table-” You point at the table that you and Joel sit at most evenings now for diner. “And raped me in front of everyone, Lorenzo! Then he branded me and left me to be gang raped by all your little buddies here! And no one could stop him, not even Tommy! All Tommy could do is stand by and watch, and unchain me after Joel left before anyone could do anything more!”

Lorenzo was not deterred. “That’s my fucking point!”

“If I leave and he catches me, I am dead!”

Scoffing, Lorenzo rolls his eyes from where he’s slumped against the floor. “Yeah, that’s why”

Unsure how much more you can take from him, you motion him to continue.

“You just don’t wanna admit you fell in love with your rapist.”

That was enough. You begin to walk away from him, but he follows after you. 

“What about when you give birth, huh? What kind of father is he going to be? Are you going to stand by while he beats your kids?”

“SHUT UP!” You scream, still walking away. 

“And what if you have a daughter? You just gonna let him molest her like your dad-”

You wipe around so fast you don’t even have time to blink. “No, Joel isn’t like that.” 

Lorenzo laughs at you, cruel and loud. “You are 20 years younger than him, he raped you! You really think he’s above-”

“YES! He will not hurt her like that!”

“And if you have a son? Do you really wanna raise a man like Joel? The kind of man who beats and rapes innocent girls?”

Tears prickle at your eyes now, a terrible tightness in your chest bubbling with stomach bile. “N-no, that’s not gonna happen, I won’t let-”

“Oh, because you’ve had so much choice the last year, havn’t you. Sooooo much control.”

“I won’t.” You shake your head vigorously. “I won’t let anything happen to my baby, Joel won’t hurt them.”

“So, say he doesn't. You really gonna raise a kid here? Half the men here would’ve raped you, given the chance! You really think your child is safe here?”

You can’t argue with him when he’s right. But he doesn’t get it. Joel is good now, Joel protects you, Joel will protect the baby… Joel is gentle now… soft, kind… he thinks of you, he sings you songs… he plays music for you, he’ll be a good dad… You’ll be okay…

You shut down, going into autopilot. You don’t look at Lorenzo as you walk back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. Joel would be home soon.

Month 7

“JACK! GET MAURA!” Joel shouts as you groan on the bed, the tight contractions hurting.

“Joel, it hurts!” You call for him, and in a flash Joel is at your bedside, letting you squeeze his hand. 

“I know, little one, I know…” He pets your hair, having flashbacks to Sarah’s birth…. He wanted another girl so bad, but god, he just wanted a healthy baby and for his girl to make it out alive. Birth was dangerous in modern medicine, nonetheless a post-apocalyptic shitstorm. 

Lorenzo stood in the doorway, biting his nails. “You’re not due for another 8 weeks!”

Grunting through the pain, you let a rare bout of sarcasm slip. “Oh yeah, that’s right, never mind.”

“Could be false labor, you know? That’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions?” Lorenzo looked more nervous than you.

Joel ignored him. “It’s gonna be okay, Maura’s on her way and I think even out here 32 weeks is gonna be okay.” Joel wasn’t entirely sure about his own words. 32 weeks meant a premature baby, and pre-mature usually meant NICU… but there was no NICU to go to… if the babies lungs were under developed or anything like that, there were no options. 

Lorenzo was chewing through his nails enough to draw blood. “Or maybe it’s Braxton-Hicks”

At that, Joel finally acknowledges Lorenzo. “Okay, we get it, you know the term Braxton-Hicks, we’re all very impressed.”

“AHHHHHHH” You yell, wishing to get there was something for the pain.

Lorenzo wouldn’t shut up. “Okay, contractions are getting longer, that means your in active labor?”

“Her water hasn’t broke yet!” 

“Is she dilated?”

“Does it look like her pants are off to you?”

“Well check!”

“I don’t know how to tell! Weren’t you bragging last month you helped your sister give birth in a Walmart?”

“That doesn’t mean I know how to check if she’s dilated!”

“You know more than me!”

“I’m not sticking my fucking face between legs!”

“Oh, because you’re gay you’re suddenly scared of vagina’s?”

“What are you talking about?”

“So you’d rather let her just die?”

“DIE? Joel she’s not gonna die because I’m not looking at her fucking cu-”

“GUYS” you shout, causing both to turn and look at you. “The contractions stopped.”

There’s a moment of silence before Lorenzo speaks. “Oh. Huh. That’s uhhh… Braxton-Hicks I guess. False labor.”

As Joel kissed you that night, sex was the last thing you wanted, but you knew there was no point in fighting it.

Joel sucked on your throat, already bruised with dark marks from the night before, now sore and aching with new licks and bites, his hands roaming to expanse of skin presented before him. Gripping, feeling, pinching, tugging, some things felt good, some hurt, but that didn’t matter. He’d get you off, he always did, at night anyway, but you knew sometimes he just liked to feel you, feel what he owned.  The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed? Your blood is mine.

Your belly round and swollen with child, he could not hardly keep his hand off it, every time his hand traveled to explore, it quickly found itself returning to its home, never wanting to miss a kick. He slithered down, nestling his face between your legs and devouring your pussy the way he did your neck, the way he did every piece of you, body and soul and until there was nothing left but this subservient version of you, weak and obedient to his hands. He lapped you up, skilled tongue exploring through your folds only pausing to nibble at the soft skin of your thighs or kiss the round stomach above him. He felt extra possessive today, a desperate, anxious way about him as he devoured you so hungrily you wondered if he intended to eat you, swallow you whole to keep you with him forever; a communion, and you were the eucharist, a matrimony of cannibalism. 

You wanted to tug at his hair, you wanted to entangle yourself in him but your belly was in the way, so you simply laid back and enjoyed as he tongue fucked you, prodding at your entrance, his hands on the globe where your child waits to be born.

“Fuck, Joel, need you, need to cum, please.”

You beg for him, plead, and he devours. Joel knows you love when his perfect, plus lips such at your mound and your clit with long fingers fingering into you, and you yelp when they curl up and hit that spot inside you. “Keep moaning, little one, let me hear you.”

You obliged. Sometimes you wondered how sick everyone in the house was of hearing you, but they weren’t the ones you needed to please; pleasing Joel kept you alive.

“I need you inside me, please” Nudging him with your leg as you cry for his cock. “Joel, I gotta have you inside me, I need to cum on your cock, please? Please, Joel-”

A wet, sloppy sound as he detached from you, and his eyes looked just as hungry as he acted while he crawled up. “You beg so pretty, little one, such a pretty little cock whore.”

But you didn’t have time for his talking, you needed him inside you, now; the hormones of the pregnancy had a mind of their own. You take a chance and push him down, watching Joel smile as you straddle his waist. “God, I just- just need you.”

“The take me, little one, take me” 

You cry out as you sink down onto him, feeling your cunt split on him. “Fuuuck!” Sobbing, you take him fully and begin to fuck yourself on him.

“Just like that, pretty girl, fuck, taking me so well, gonna have you all stretched out to have this baby, huh? Gonna give me a child, little girl? A baby of our own? Fuck, fuck you look so pretty like this, swollen with my child, stretching your stomach as I stretch your cunt, fucking perfect, my perfect wife.”

Wife.

Wife.

Wife?!

You knew Joel was delusional… but fuck, Lorenzo was right… you were playing house wife. Joel thought of you as his wife… 

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, again, and again, keep you constantly knocked up, make our happy little family, you and me and a dozen little kids running around, FUCK, our family, our family.”

You continued the pace, you couldn’t falter, you couldn’t slow down, you couldn’t hesitate; you couldn’t give any sort of reason for him to think you didn’t want this…

But it suddenly struck you

You were trapped. Joel trapped you with a baby, knowing you’d need him to protect it, knowing you’d never leave your child… and now he was going to keep you pregnant. You could never leave with 5,6,7 kids, it would be impossible. 

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock little one, just little that…” Joel reached out to touch you, roughly manhandling your tits that were swollen and engorged.

You begin to cry, but that wouldn’t give away anything for Joel; he fucking loved that shit.

One hand on your breast, one on your clit. “Cry on my cock, baby girl, cry when you cum.”

You did, you sobbed as you came, your body betraying the horrors you felt at his hands.

Month 8

“Hey Joel? Can I talk to you about something?”

You had to do it. You had to. And it had to be now. You two had fucked less than half an hour ago and he was currently eating your food, humming contently. He was always lovey-dovey after sex, and was always much happier after food… The pair didn’t line up often, so now was your chance. 

“What’s on your mind, little one? Nervous about being a mother? You’ll be a great mom; I just know it.” He smiled at you with puppy dog eyes, looking up from his plate, and you couldn’t help smiling back, not when he showered you with compliments.

“Well… you’ve said before you wanted lots of kids… but we… well this little baby was an accident.”

“A miracle, not an accident.” Joel corrected you. You didn’t see how conceiving a child the night he was threatening to blow your brains onto a wall for sleeping with his brother if you didn’t shoot said-baby’s uncle was a miracle… but you digress

“Right. Well… we never really talked about more kids… and although I’m over the moon about this baby, I did initially not want to have it.” Joel’s face began to darken, but you powered through. “Maybe we could see how we feel about one kid after a few years before thinking about-”

Joel slammed down his silverware. “What are you trying to say.”

But you freeze. This was a bad idea, you needed to placate immediately, you needed to calm him down. “N-nothing, Joel, just thinking out loud.”

He stood up, a deadly, blank stare on his face, so far removed from the adoration as he bestowed kisses on your ever-growing belly. Joel walked around the table, standing behind you and placing firm hands on your shaking shoulders, leaning into your ear. 

“You say’n you don’t want my kids? Don’t wanna be their mama? You don’t wanna be my wife?”

“No, no that’s not-” But you don’t get a chance to finish, his hand is wrapped around your throat and insane strength pulling you up and out of the chair, the wooden furniture toppled to the side in a loud clatter. He slams the back of your head against the drywall, you’re toes barely touch the ground; struggling to breath, you claw at his hand, but he doesn’t even blink.

The panic begins to set it.

“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE! YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE CHOICES!” He screams, and out of the corner of your eye you watch as a few men hesitantly gather, like vultures waiting on the next piece of deadmeat. You couldn’t see who, but it didn’t matter. Even the good ones couldn’t intervene.

Joel’s face was suddenly right in front of yours. “Everything you have, any freedom, any luxuries, any power you think you have is because I have given it to you.” Black spots appeared, your vision blurring, sinking into the unknown and god, did it feel sweet. Was it finally over? “I bought you, I own you, you have no rights! You are nothing! You are nothing but a toy for me to play with, a breeding bitch and you should be so lucky to sit at my table!”

He let go, but as you gasped for breath, Joel yanked at your hair and patched you across the room, not letting go of his grasp on you as you flung into the counter. What he didn’t know, what he could never understand was how the handle of the draw rammed into the brand on your side. Suddenly, all sense, all rational went out the window, and you were violently thrust back to last year as he burned his initials into your skin. The flashbacks were triggered, and the result was nothing short of hysteria. You cry out for the only person who would step in.

“TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMYYYY” You scream, the fact Tommy was miles away didn’t matter, nor did the fact this would only anger Joel more. This didn’t matter; you wanted him, no one but him, and all sense was knocked out of you.

Joel pulls you up by your hair and slaps you hard enough that you taste blood and screams at you to not say Tommy’s name, but you can’t stop, you scream and scream and scream for him to come save you and your baby, the precious little life inside you that has never done anything wrong. 

You fight and claw and panic, hysterics drowning out the one or two voices telling Joel to stop; who they belonged to, you couldn’t say. 

Joel stopped listening, and the voices grow louder as Joel drags you, kicking and screaming, outside; rope and a chair in his hand, your hair in the other, and Joel walked with long strides to a tree outside.

****************

YEEEEEEESSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Cliiiiiff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiffff thats why he's caaaaallled, Cliff Hangers!

Who else used to watch Inbetween The Lions? Anyway.

Who wanna guess what happens!

Only two chapters left!

For the sake of credit, if you didn't find the superstore reference or dont watch the show, most of the dialogue between Joel and Lorenzo and LO was between Amy and Jonah from two birth related episodes of superstore

Also, Maura is named after my dear dear friend @maura-honey who although is not generally a fanfiction girlie, made a tumblr so she could read, like and reblog this series and always sends me such lovely messages <3

Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!

for those who voted you dont like or hate or Lorenzo, I hope that doesn't mean you hate him as n he's a bad character. I got a comment on AO3 that said "i cant tell if i like lorenzo or not, but i like him in the story" which makes sense! His victim blaming is really fucking shitty.

no poll today, sorry!

MoonBanana said they think LO copes by lying to herself until she beleives it, what do y'all think? is she as delusional as joel?

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

[jokerislandgirl32]

Ziolet Songs: Day Fourteen

Day 14 - Grow Old With You

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad Carry you around when your arthritis is bad All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches Build you a fire if the furnace breaks Oh, it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you Kiss you Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you Feed you Even let you hold the remote control

Below you can find a fanfic excerpt and a little Ziolet background info, please note warnings for pregnancy discussion/description.

Zach and Violet become pregnant with Varina shortly after their wedding. The pregnancy, like all of Violet’s pregnancies except the one with Victoria, was very difficult.

During the pregnancies Violet dealt with physical and emotional struggles, feeling gross from her appearance and symptoms. But Zach cannot see it, he truly thinks she is stunning throughout her pregnancies, and he’ll do anything to convince her of that fact, including singing the aforementioned song, because he loves her so.

I laid on the couch in Zach’s headquarters watching The Wedding Singer. My hands rested on my ever growing baby bump as our daughter fiercely kicked within my womb. I was officially in my third trimester, and I was a mess. I was still suffering from morning sickness, which was a complete joke because it could last all day, and I was beyond exhausted and emotionally drained. I felt like I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything due to the debilitating nausea, so I’d resorted to laying down a lot more and watching old romantic comedies to pass the time.

Zach was at his workbench building his latest robotic achievement, and although I’d been trying to help him, be the good assistant and wife I longed to be, I just couldn’t do it. If I wasn’t still, I was getting sick. So, I remained curled up, resting my head on the arm of the couch. I was ready to doze off when my favorite scene in the movie came on, and I immediately perked up.

I rose to a sitting position, cradling my bump as Robbie sang Grow Old With You to Julia. I could not stop the tears that fell from my eyes: the hormones were brutally beating me up. Zach called out to me, coming to my side and sitting on the couch next to me, a worried look crossed his face.

Zach reached his hand out, covering my stomach with his open palm, “Vi, why are you crying? What’s wrong? Is something wrong with Baby V?”

“No, I’m fine, she’s fine, it’s just….it’s so romantic and beautiful!” I sobbed. Zach’s expression instantly turned from one of worry to amusement.

“I thought something was really wrong, you’re crying like someone died!” He snickered.

“I can’t help it, these hormones are killing me!” I sobbed louder, Zach continued to laugh and pulled me onto his lap, cradling me to his chest.

I sniffed before continuing, “it’s - it’s just that he loved her so much, he sang this beautiful song to her telling her that no matter what he’d love her. Even if she’s not young and beautiful…and I feel so gross right now, and I look awful so…it’s just really nice to see this…it’s just beautiful Zach!”

“You’re not gross Vi…” Zach reassured me, he paused tilting my face up so he could look me directly in the eyes, sincerity filled his voice, “you’re beautiful, far more beautiful than this sappy movie…”

“I’m a hormonal mess, and she won’t stop growing, and I’m sick all the time, I’m gross…” I whimpered, tossing my head back and pouting.

Zach groaned, pushing me off his lap and standing up. He glared down at me, and waved his index finger, “you’re gonna make me do it, aren’t you?”

“Do what?” I whined.

He rolled his eyes, “Sing to you…sing you that song to make you feel better…”

I looked at him in shock, “no, you don’t have to…”

Zach gave a huff, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’ll do it, because I know it’ll make you happy, but you have to promise me something.”

I wrinkled my brows, “promise you what?”

Zach leaned toward me singing,“‘I wanna grow old with you…’”

He paused after seeing my face light up, “promise me that you’ll stop talking about looking gross. You’re beautiful, you’re carrying our child, and no matter what changes your body goes through now or 50 years from now I’ll always think you’re beautiful…promise me you’ll stop?”

“I promise…” I whispered in excitement.

Zach nodded, “Good, and if you’re a good girl, I might just learn how to play it for you on the violin for our wedding anniversary. How does that sound?” (@novazentryx has me hooked on the idea of violinist Zach)

I nodded enthusiastically, and I chewed on my lip as he started singing to me, as soon as his voice filled my ears, our baby girl began kicking again. I figured she must have enjoyed the sound of Zach’s voice just as much as her momma.

[dreamersbcll]

You know what would be cool? Imagine if mybe christina was worse than we thought, and before the all scream 2022 events, something happens and tara calls sam and then she takes her away from that house.

“SOS”

——————————————————————————-

“Long night?”

Sam looked up from scrubbing the grill, grinning at her coworker Zach.

Putting the grill brush down, she went to the hand wash station to clean her hands. “Well, we just worked two clopen shifts in a row and are starting our third. Also, I’m running solely on red bull and wafers, so you tell me, smartass,”.

He just smiled back at her, tossing a towel her way. “Yet you’re still here for another day with me. Face it, Sam, you’re in love with me,” he teased, bumping her hip with his.

She shoved him back, laughing despite herself. “Yeah, and what would your boyfriend say about that?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Let me ask,”.

Before she could retort, her phone started ringing in her pocket. It was the ringtone she had specifically for unknown callers. But this one felt different like her phone was burning her in her pocket.

Sam took it out, looking at the screen. It was indeed an unknown number, but the sequence of numbers made her stomach bottom out. It was the area code for Woodsboro. She thought she had gotten rid of all her ties to that place. Not.

“Uh… could you cover the window? I’ll be back in a second,” she asked, giving Zach puppy eyes.

He rolled his eyes but waved her off. “Joe catches you slacking, don’t bring me into it,”.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” she muttered, heading out of the store.

Once outside, she answered the call, nervous to find who may be on the other end.

“Hello?” she asked, unsure of what was happening.

The second she had the voice, she knew she was in deep shit. She recognized that voice. It was the one that she had abandoned four years ago.

“Sam.”

Her breath caught in her throat, her stomach immediately souring. She tried to stop her hands from shaking, but it was useless.

“Tara? Is that you? Are you okay? Where are you?” she frantically asked, nausea rising inside her.

Tara paused, her breathing heavy. Sam could hear that something was going on in the background. Yelling. Someone was screaming and breaking something. She could listen to Tara’s breaths becoming wheezy and a woman crying in Spanish. Christina.

Switching to Spanish, Sam spoke quietly, sensing her mother was on another rage fit. The last thing she needed to do was alert Christina of her baby sister’s hiding place.

“Mi cielo. ¿Qué está pasando? ¿Estás a salvo?”

(My sky. What’s going on? Are you safe?)

She could hear Tara whimper at the words and shift in her spot. If Sam listened carefully, she could hear her mother breaking something against the hardwood floors. It sounded like glass.

“Sammy. No sabía a quién más llamar. Necesito ayuda. Se ha vuelto loca. ¡Loca! Por favor, ven a casa, rápido,” her sister whispered, urgency laced in her tone.

(I didn’t know who to call. I need help. She’s gone crazy. Crazy! Please come home quickly)

Another crash echoed through the phone, and she heard a door slam and Tara screaming.

“¡Puta! ¡Te mataré por lo que has hecho!” her mother yelled, clearly slapping Tara.

(You whore! I will kill you for what you have done!)

Sam didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t do anything from where she was. She was helpless, listening to her mother beat her baby sister over the phone. All she could do was yell for Tara to fight and run! Run! Get out! Get out, baby, get out!

Finally, the phone ended the call, the ringing echoing throughout Sam’s ears. Her voice was hoarse from screaming, her ears echoing with the sounds of her sister being abused. She never thought she would hear her baby sister cry like that again, especially not through the phone.

Without a second thought, she pocketed her phone and made her way to her car, peeling away out of the parking lot.

——

Everything got hazy after the first punch.

The fucked-up part was that Tara was having a good day. She has aced her AP Biology exam and got an A- on her English paper. Plus, Amber had given her her favorite hoodie back. And the twins had invited her to go ice skating with them.

Naturally, nothing good in Tara's life could stay. She was destined to be punished. She knew that deep down, she was a glutton for punishment. How else would she know if she was alive if she hadn't been beaten down by something?

But she wasn’t expecting her mother to go off the rails so soon. They had such a good run in the last couple of weeks. Tara keeps a wide berth from Christina, and in return, her mother gets wasted in the backyard—a win-win.

Within the last day, something had snapped inside of her mother. She had been on the warpath more than usual, smashing bottles onto the floor and breaking random pieces of furniture. It was only a matter of time before Tara would be next.

She was hoping for more time. One more day. If she had made it one more day, she could’ve been out of the house and safe with the twins. But luck was never on her side.

The surprise punch to the jaw once she walked through the front door was shocking, but it kicked her into high gear. Dizzy and disoriented, she shoved her mother back, sprinting up the stairs. She slipped on a broken bottle, falling to her knees, hissing as glass embedded into her palms and knees. It didn’t matter, and she had to move.

Barricading into her closet, she got her phone out, trying to decide who to call. Her jaw aching and her vision blurry, she tried to wrack her brain for somebody. Anybody.

She decided on the long shot. Her mother was making her way upstairs, screaming in a messy mix of Spanish and English. It was now or never.

Dialing the one number she saved under Unknown, she prayed for a miracle.

Luckily her big sister picked up, and Tara blurted out that she needed help. For a moment, hope fluttered in her chest, hearing her big sister’s voice. Maybe, just maybe, this would work.

If only her mother didn’t hit her with that chair. She had no idea if Sam had heard her or if she was coming. All she knew was that she potentially dialed the last phone call she would ever make.

Once she felt her ribs crunch and her nose break, did she give into the darkness creeping behind her eyes. Maybe when she woke, this would all be over.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to wake up alive or dead. She just wanted the pain to stop. Whatever did that, she would take it mercifully.

——

The drive to Woodsboro took maybe an hour, hour and a half. Sam wasn’t ready to unpack why she only lived an hour away from her sister. She didn’t have time to blame herself when something was wrong.

Pulling into the lawn, she didn’t even bother to shut the car off. She threw her seatbelt off and tore across the property. Throwing open the door, she paused in the doorway, staring into the abyss.

It was strange. She wasn’t expecting everything to look the same. She would’ve thought that her absence would change everything. Yet the walls were empty of photographs, and the floor was still dirty from nights of sin.

The shrieks and yelling snapped her out of her trance, and Sam bolted up the stairs. The only light on upstairs was Tara's room, and that’s when she could hear the screaming.

“Sammy! Sammy, help! Help!” shrieked her baby sister above the noise of slapping and swearing.

Sam went to the room and saw her mother above her baby sister, hitting her with what looked like a trophy. Tara’s trophy. Second-grade spelling bee winner.

Her little sister was crumpled on the ground, with a bloody nose and a gash below her eye that stretched over her cheek. Tara looked dazed, her eyes unfocused and her hands shaking, trying to protect herself from the blows feebly.

Christina, on the other hand, looked about the same as the last time Sam had seen her. Long, dark stringy hair framed a gaunt face, eyes rimmed red, and a sneer so ugly that it made Sam cringe.

She sprung into action, tackling her mother against the wall. She pinned Christina there, one arm barred against her throat, the other wrestling the bloody trophy from her hand. Her mother’s eyes were wide in surprise, a snarl forming on her lips.

“So the prodigal daughter returns! ¡La hija de un asesino!” her mother sneered, choking a bit as Sam pressed harder against her throat.

(The murderer’s daughter!)

Sam finally got the trophy out, throwing it down on the ground. Tara whimpered from her crumpled state at the broken award, watching another childhood memory shatter. Sam didn’t fucking care. She had to end this.

Pressing her arm harder in the throat, she let her mother choke, her arms clawing at Sam’s to make her let go. But Sam wouldn’t budge. She grinned as her mother's eyes grew more panicked. She wanted to see the light die from her mother’s eyes; she wanted to feel the life leave her body. It would be the ending that she deserved.

But something nagged her to turn around and look at Tara. Look at her baby sister.

Giving in, Sam turned to look, ignoring the gasps of her mother. She looked down at her baby sister, taking in the little girl she had left before.

Tara looked up at her, her nose gushing blood, wheezing. Sam could make out a bruised ring appearing around Tara’s neck. A choke mark. She pressed harder into her mother’s throat, feeling the desperation set into her mother’s body.

Her baby sister just kept staring at Sam, her big brown eyes full of sadness, of tears that weren’t falling. Sam could feel shame prickle up her back, her face growing warm. Tara shook her head at Sam, silently pleading for her to let Christina go.

Even after all these years, Tara had some hypnotic grip on Sam. Her baby sister nodded at Sam, coughing a bit of blood up. Sam nodded back and let her mother crumpled to the floor, gasping.

In a heartbeat, Sam was on the floor, soothing her baby sister. She kissed Tara’s head and smoothed the hair out of her eyes. Tara cried in response, nails clinging onto Sam’s skin, sinking in. Sam let her hold on as she kept kissing her head and rocking her back and forth.

After a minute or two, Sam scooped Tara up, ignoring the whimpers of distress, silencing her. Tara cried out in pain but still curled into Sam’s embrace, her head tucked into her shoulder.

As Sam turned around to leave, she heard the raspy voice of her mother, forcing her to pause.

“Where are you going with her? She’s defective, you know. You’re not stupid, Sam- you’ve always been the stronger one,” she croaked out.

Sam shook her head, staring down at her mother. She didn’t succumb to the temptation to put Tara down and finish it for good. Instead, she stood ramrod straight, her eyes unforgiving, her hands unrelenting. Tara could sense the words about to come out, and she buried her face deeper into Sam’s chest.

“You never wanted either of us. I’m doing you a favor. I’m doing what I should’ve done in the first place,” she hissed back, staring daggers at her mother's broken body.

Tilting her head, Christina stared back in wonder. “And what would that be?”

“Leaving with Her. Just like I should’ve done,” Sam said.

Despite her mother’s pleas, and the broken bottles being thrown at the two, Sam marched on, cradling Tara tightly to her chest.

This was her redo. There would never be another one.

She wasn’t leaving without her girl this time around.

[fluffyzoey]

Toss Him In Back

In which Zoey Chambers panics and kills a man. Thankfully, a new cowboy friend with a baby blue pickup truck is there to help her bury the bully

“Let me get this straight–you just killed someone? Like…killed them, killed them?”

This was not, in any way, the way Zoey Chambers foresaw her evening going, but now here she was, pulled over in a bush on the outskirts of town with a full-on wild west cowboy staring her down while her ex’s lifeless body sat in her passenger seat, oozing from a head wound. 

…Maybe she needed to rewind.

It was an accident. Zoey did not want to kill Sam Sweetly, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. She didn’t want to have shot him with his own gun after he came by uninvited when he knew her roommates weren’t home, but that was, as the kids say “creep behavior” and the firearm was within her reach! She let the impulsive thoughts win, that’s all. Sam folded to the ground like an adirondack chair, crumpling onto the tile floor of the kitchen Zoey had neglected to clean for the past four days.

Oh, oh god…looks like you fucked up, Zoey.

She sighed and dug her keys out of her purse.

The ride to the Witchwood, the only place Zoey could think of to dispose of a body quickly, was mostly uneventful. They (being Zoey and the corpse, obviously) drove past a couple on an evening walk, what was either cardboard or a dead possum (didn’t matter; whatever it was looked like Sam currently) and some beautiful “Fuck Clivesdale” graffiti on the wall of the local shoestore, before the Ford started making noises similar to a cat coughing up a hairball. It sputtered to a stop, and Zoey had just enough time to pull over.

That led her basically to where she was right now: pulled over on a backroad with Sam’s remains splattering onto her dashboard. She had stepped out of the car to assess damage, but apparently she wasn’t the only one driving around Hatchetfield at 9:37 pm.

He was not a small guy; quite the opposite in fact! He was tall, beefy, and wearing an outfit that looked like it belonged on one of those guys from the gay cowboy movie that somehow ended up on tv last time she watched it with Hailey. 

“Hi.” She thanked all that was good in the world that her windows were tinted, otherwise the carcass in the front seat would have drawn a lot of attention. The man smiled at her, bright as the fucking north star, the light from her phone flashlight illuminating his gold tooth. 

“Didn’t expect to see no one else out and about this late.” He flashed that winning grin once more. “You lost?”

“Nope!” Zoey squeaked. “Not lost, just…broken down, I guess.” She gestured to the unfortunate state of her car. 

“Out for a little…evening joyride?” He questioned, peering around her shoulder. She shifted in front of him. 

“Yeah, haha, looks like I’ll have to get towed…” She snapped her fingers in a sort of ‘Ah, dang it’ gesture. He looked on kindly. 

“I wouldn’t mind given’ ya a ride home.” He held out his hand to shake. “Eddie Chiplucky. Dunno if we’ve met before.”

“Zoey Chambers. Don’t think we have. And, ah, thank you for the offer, but I can just…” She flipped through her mental list of people she could possibly admit to murder to. No names came up, save for her brother, Zach, who she did not intend on ever letting in on this secret. “I’ll call my…friend…or something.”

“Stranger danger?” He chuckled. “Welp, if you say so. Nice to meetcha, miss. I’ll stick around until your buddy gets here, wouldn’t wantcha to get cold. You can come sit in the truck and warm up, if ya want.”

“I’m…sure the heater still works in mine.” She stuttered, turning her attention back to her own car and the very noticeable bloody smear on the inside of the windshield. Eddie Chiplucky was not stupid, she could tell that much.

He’s onto me, isn’t he?

“Now, what are we gonna do about this whole…” Eddie moved his hand, vaguely encompassing Zoey, her vehicle, and the crimson-stained mess contained within it. “...Situation? How the hell did you even manage this?”

“It’s Hatchetfield. I don’t know if you southerners now this, but it’s really fucking easy to get away with murder.” 

“This ain’t your first rodeo, then?” He turned slightly, and Zoey’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of a shotgun tucked at his side. She wondered if he was planning on asking her to duel at high noon.

“Well…the first time wasn’t fully my fault.” She had just admitted to murder. There go my chances of being on Broadway! So long, big stage!

Eddie put a finger to his lips. “Zip it, lock it, put it in yer pocket. I won’t tell. You got a reason for why this fella had to meet an end?” He stepped closer, examining Sam through the window. 

“I didn’t know he had a key. We used to date, before his…wife found out…” The last part stung. Not only had she fucked around with a guy thirteen years her senior, but he was also married. Toxic, abusive, yes, but still a mistake on Zoey’s part too. 

“He had it comin’, then?” Eddie pressed his nose against the glass. “Yeah, he had it comin’. Look at that badge, that’s a cop right there.”

“That has nothing to do with the fact that he’s a scumbag.” Zoey insisted, knowing fully well that it had everything to do with that. “And he’s gone now anyway.” 

Eddie stepped away from the car and immediately jumped back a little. Zoey was shocked too, and before they knew it, the pair were bathed in hues of red and blue. Zoey’s first thoughts were omg, bisexual lighting! Before realizing she was A) not bisexual and B) probably about to get arrested. Eddie’s hand went for his gun as the car door opened. 

“We got a call about a drunk driver down here.” A short, brown-haired man with dimpled cheeks stepped out of the cruiser. Zoey recognized him immediately: Bailey B. Bailey, a regular customer at Beanies and a shitty tipper. “A couple on a stroll saw a young lady swerving all over the road.”

Bailey strutted up to the car, eyes never leaving Zoey. “Gonna need you to be a good citizen and take the breathalyzer for me, okay?” She took a timid step back. 

“I- uh…” 

“You know that arguing can get you in even more trouble, right?” Bailey sighed. He shook his head, glancing down at his feet. 

And then it happened.

He saw.

“Miss…Miss Chambers. What the fuck is that in your car? Unlock that car.” He growled. “Is that…? No! Sam? Officer Sweetly?

Zoey’s pulse quickened. She was dead. Bailey was pulling out his radio, he was gonna call back to the station and then she was gonna get arrested. For the second time that day, Zoey Chambers was about to kill a man.

She wasn’t even thinking. She just bolted toward Eddie, snatched the gun out of his reach, aimed, and shot a bullet directly into the cop’s neck.

Eddie stared at her, dumbfounded. “You’re a sharp-shooter.” He eventually choked out. “I guess we’ll need my truck. Toss him in the back.”

[kuro-ttsuki]

On My Own | 13 Reasons Why

The murder

You weren't the same after what happened, I mean who could have been? Zach thought for a while he killed Bryce but he was just a part of it, the reaction to Dominos falling row by row. No one apart from Alex and Jessica knew you were there when it happened, you wanted it to be that way.

Why? Because you tried to save him, you didn't just stand there like Jessica when Bryce was pushed in the water, you tried to save him. Jessica tried to hold you back when it happened but you pushed her off and jumped in the water.

You remember the water being so cold it felt like you, yourself was dead. You would've been if you continued to try and save him that night but it was impossible, his body weight was half the size of yours, he was weak, scared, in pain and so were you; scared. He was already dead when you were trying to swim up to the surface with him but you held hope. Hope that if you can make up to the surface, you can save him but again. It was already too late, his dead weight was practically pulling you down with him till you had no choice but to let go, watching as his body sank down.

You walked home that night, you couldn't bare being in the car with his killers. As much you hated Bryce, with how much pain he caused you; the secrets, the rape, the manipulation. Everything he did to you, you should've wanted him dead more than anyone. Maybe at first but now? You wished you could've taken that thought back. He didn't deserve to die like that, and you definitely didn't deserve the trauma his death brought you.

After hearing Ani blame the murder on your ex-boyfriend Monty and his death in prison, you snapped. Liquor and drugs became your best friend, at first it was weed and Hennessy then weed got replaced with shrooms, then Molly and acid and soon it was meth, and any pill or alcohol you could get your hands on. You would even bring them to school, drinking and swallowing or injecting between classes to get by.

As you were spiraling down to a dark path, so was Clay and Zach but never Alex and Jessica. You wondered why what happened didn't affect the actual guilty but instead the accessories to murder. But then again, you stopped caring.

After Clay and Justin busted you over your drug use, you were on 24/7 watch, in fact the whole group had to watch you. Jessica and Ani would make excuses to sleep over at your house; Tyler, Clay and Justin would walk you to your classes and Tony and Zach would take turns being with you after school. That part backfired though. Soon Tony ended up getting busy with his fighting, leaving you and Zach alone all the time.

You two ended up finding comfort in each other, you two were both broken beyond repair so you two became each other's bad influence. Zach would keep secrets about your continuancely drug use and you would keep drinking with him. Drowning y'all's sorrows with any alcohol imagine and sooner rather than later, your two bad habits became intoxicated hookups.

It became a daily occurrence that you ended up finding yourself into being sexually connected with Zach more than the drugs. He was your drug but you weren't his. During the time that you were getting better, he was fucking some other Bimbo from school.

You were hurt by this, yes. But were you really that surprised that it'll happen? No. Once again you were on your own. You began using again, this time you were skipping school.

Everytime Clay went looking for you, you were at every party imaginable rather it be highschool parties at other schools, or frat parties at colleges, you were there. Always high, always shit faced, always in danger. Rather it was you being a danger to yourself or to someone else or they were a danger to you. You were just fucked up you didn't care anymore.

It was like you drowned that night with Bryce. Maybe you should have.

[forthegoob]

Random thoughts of an unfocused person on season 17 episode 8 :

Are you ready? Because I'm not. I saw photos on CM insta where Emily is on the field and an other where Rossi looks sad. Plus, I read a spoiler on someone said Rossi kiss Jill Gideon.

2 remain. Only 2...

Directed by Zach Gilford. YAY. Oh did you know he played in a Taylor Swift music video ?

WOW BRIDGET VOIT IS HIS WIFE IN REAL LIFE. Okay Era, let the wiki page alone and start the episode. Please.

This is how horror movies begins.

So the old man is probably the creator of the Stuart house. GS-one. To five I guess ? Shivers when the music start.

"Rossi is a vault" JJ... you are right on this one.

I KNEW IT WAS HER ! I WROTE IT ON MY LIST OF PREDICTION! I FUCKING KNEW IT.

Oh Jill... "Hell is paved with good intentions" blablabla. Rossi will be so pissed about it though. So, she is on the list, isn't she ?

So, for now, they know GS-One and GS-five. But what about the other ? And what about the other houses then ? Did they'll keep it for next season ?

But the all, Rossi left because he fall in love with Jason's wife and he can't. "Right person, wrong time". It's bullshit. Don't make us believe he will leave the work of his life, leave his best friend who named his son after him, for such a stupid reason. David Rossi is a loyal man. "I wasn't as emotionally mature". Yeah, sure.

Tara and Rebecca get back together?!

They finally turn the lights on.

And Luke just kick the door open. Morgan's style.

TYLER ? The grey sweater... Oh my... Hello ?

Luke does geo-profile like in the good old days :) I recently start rewatch of CM at the season 12, because I miss Luke. I like the "lonely wolf" style he has, so he made twice as effort to fit in and the team is just so impressed everytime he makes a smart move. Oh yeah of course he knows latin...

Yeah Penelope it's "sexy". Luke is. Luke is smart. We love Luke, Penelope.

Of course Voit finds his lawyer on his network. He have it since years just in case. So he have something on him and that why he can ask him to reach Damian and do shitty work for him.

They talk too much about Jason's cabin to not ended here at some point...

JILL KISSED DAVE. Ok, Jill is dead by the end of the episode, because Dave is cursed.

Jade is somewhere and she'll killed him if he get caught, or Jill. Or both. (I FUCKING KNEW IT bis.)

This episode was good. I'm glad they didn't do "fan service" (but don't get me wrong, I LOVE fan service) on it and we just go straight to the point for once.

[whump-me]

Protector: Chapter 4

Chapter 4 of Protector, a novella-length whump story about a ruthless superpowered assassin trained from childhood to kill, and the brother determined to save him from himself.

Masterpost | the Mind Games universe | Read the complete novel on Patreon

---

Brother.

Memories rose up, smoky phantoms coalescing out of those hazy dreams Zach thought he had shoved safely away upon waking. A boy with eyes like his, with a chin like his. A boy who was always older, tougher, stronger. Who protected him from bullies one minute, and the next turned around and sneered at him for not being strong enough to protect himself.

Karate lessons—Bryce showing off his new belt, Zach cringing at the thought of hitting someone and begging to be allowed to quit. Trick-or-treating—Bryce in his dinosaur costume, clutching Zach’s hand so Zach wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. Zach zipping across the room to make farting noises behind their dad’s back, then zooming back to his chair to look innocent and watch his parents blame it on Bryce, because everyone knew Bryce was the troublemaker.

Bryce. His brother’s name was Bryce.

When Zach came back to himself, Bryce was ripping the thin plastic tube away from his neck. He sucked in air with a loud gasp. He grabbed the scalpel from the carpet—when had Zach dropped it?—and shoved Zach away from him.

Bryce clearly didn’t know where to strike for maximum leverage. Under normal circumstances, the shove wouldn’t have budged Zach. But the burning ache in Zach’s chest testified that these weren’t normal circumstances. Zach fell backward, another trickle of blood leaking from the wound. His shirt was wet with it.

He tried to push himself to his feet. A wave of dizziness came over him, briefly washing the color out of the world. He clutched his chest and tried to breathe, giving up on standing for the moment. Drawing in air and staying conscious was about all he could manage.

The last time he had been this badly injured, he had needed a week to recover in the infirmary of PERI headquarters.

This time, he didn’t have the luxury of a safe place to rest.

Bryce had regained his feet while Zach was gasping for breath. He glanced toward the door. Then down at Zach. He looked like he was trying to make a decision. Zach tensed and reached for the weapon he wasn’t holding. But Bryce didn’t have murder in his eyes.

Half Zach’s mind screamed, Don’t let the enemy get away. The other half insisted, Don’t lose your brother again.

The two parts of him were in total agreement about what to do next.

He heaved himself to his feet, ignoring the way the world shifted sideways briefly as all the color leached from it again. Lifting his own body weight felt like being back in the PERI gym, being lectured by one of his instructors after struggling to lift a barbell too heavy for him. He ignored the pain, ignored the tightness in his lungs. He raced to cut off the exit—

And the carpet rushed up to meet him. The world spun.

Zach’s collapse could have brought Bryce precious minutes to escape. Instead, he crouched next to Zach. “I told you,” he said with a sigh. “Stop using your speed like that.”

The tone set Zach’s teeth on edge. He remembered that tone. It was the tone of an insufferable older brother who thought he knew everything because he was four years older.

“That’s what you do, right?” Bryce asked, his voice suddenly hesitant. “Your… power? What do they call people like you in PERI—Enhanced, wasn’t it?”

Bryce wasn’t supposed to know about the Enhanced. Bryce was—

Safe, whispered the small, scared child inside him. He doesn’t know about any of this. They won’t touch him. He’s safe.

—a civilian. The Enhanced were a closely guarded secret, their existence known only by the major governments of the world, all of whom guarded the information jealously. A secret weapon wasn’t much use if it stopped being secret. So when, back in the 1970s, a chemical cocktail in the polluted air and water started activating the Enhanced gene at an unprecedented rate, every scientist who independently stumbled across the discovery had been absorbed by PERI or their own country’s equivalent. Every Enhanced who had tried to come into the light had been shut down—violently, if necessary.

Knowing too much about the Enhanced—and the people who controlled them—was dangerous.

Zach pressed his lips together tightly and didn’t answer.

“Stop fighting and let me take care of you, all right?” said Bryce. “I told you, you’re safe now. You’re home.”

Zach wouldn’t be safe until he was back inside PERI headquarters.

Bryce tried to slip an arm under his shoulders. “Come on,” he said gruffly. “Back to bed.”

Zach felt his weakened muscles quiver against Bryce’s firm grip. He should have been able to fend off Bryce easily. He was no longer sure he could.

Now, at last, Zach felt afraid.

He flailed against Bryce. There was no art to his movements, only desperation. His blows didn’t have a fraction of the strength they should have had behind them.

But even his weakest efforts were dangerous to a civilian. Bryce let go. He staggered back, barely managing to straighten to his feet rather than topple to the floor.

“Zach.” Bryce’s voice was a low plea. “Trust me. Maybe I was a little shit to you when we were kids, but haven’t I always protected you when it counted?”

More memories surged up, confirming the truth of what Bryce said. After they had snuck an entire package of cookies together, Bryce had been there to take all the blame himself. When the fifth-grade bullies had cornered kindergartner Zach by the slide on his very first recess, Bryce had been there—a trembling fourth-grader—to stand between them and his brother. When Zach had broken down and cried one night in their shared room at the thought of having to go back to karate, Bryce had been there the next morning to tell their parents that he wanted karate to be his thing, without his bratty little brother tagging along.

He had been there every time—except the last.

When the dark van had parked next to him on his way back from Simon’s house, when the hood had gone over his head and the needle into his neck, Bryce had been at home, oblivious.

When Zach had woken up in PERI headquarters, Bryce hadn’t been there. Bryce would never be there again. But PERI was there to tell him he had a grand destiny in life. His speed—the thing he had always thought of as a minor personal quirk that let him win every race and play a variety of pranks—meant he had been born for a greater purpose. He was meant to serve his country and protect those weaker than himself. His family, school, his old life… those were things he would simply have to sacrifice for the sake of his destiny.

It was what every kid dreamed of hearing. Only no one dreamed of hearing it while handcuffed to a hard cot, groggy from the remnants of the sedative in his system.

Anyway, he had thought at first that they must have made a mistake. It had been laughable to think about him, of all people, helping people weaker than himself. There was probably no one in the world weaker than him, with his toothpick arms and his embarrassing propensity for tears. Bryce was the strong one. The one brave enough to get into trouble. Zach was the one who always needed protecting because he couldn’t take care of himself.

And Bryce wasn’t there to protect him anymore.

Four weeks, he had cried himself to sleep thinking about Bryce. His parents, too. His teachers. The friends he had left behind. But mostly Bryce, the protector he had thought would always be there.

Eventually, the tears had stopped coming. Eventually, he had learned to be strong on his own.

He still dreamed of Bryce from time to time. The face with eyes like his. The solid, stocky body standing between him and danger. Those rough hands hustling him impatiently to safety, then holding him as he cried.

He always pushed the dreams away as soon as he woke up. He never let himself think about what they meant. About whether that protector figure was real, and who that face had belonged to.

But now he remembered.

He felt those hands holding him now. He sank into his brother’s broad chest. The world swam around him, and he let it.

His eyes blinked open. He hadn’t realized they were closed. He stared up at the ceiling. He was lying flat on his back—when had that happened?

The sheets were soft under him. He was back in bed. He started to shove himself to a sitting position.

Bryce gently pushed him back down. “You’re awake,” said Bryce, sounding relieved. “I thought you had passed out.”

Maybe he had, for a minute. The thought of being unconscious in front of his captor sent a chill through him.

His captor? His protector? Who was Bryce to him now?

Zach struggled against Bryce’s gentle hands. “I need to get home,” he mumbled, his voice as horrifyingly weak as the rest of him. “There’s an infirmary back home.”

Bryce’s hands only pressed him down harder. “You are home,” Bryce insisted. “You’re safe, you hear me? You’re safe. You’re never going back there.” Bryce’s face twisted into the expression he remembered. The face of the boy who had protected him against those fifth-grade bullies.

That face sent a frisson of fear through him.

That face said Bryce wasn’t going to give up.

Zach tried to shove him back. His hand trembled with weakness. Bryce knocked his arm aside easily.

“Stop fighting,” Bryce said. “You’ll only hurt yourself worse. And I can’t take you to a hospital, do you understand? All you’ve got is me. So quit making things harder for me, will you?”

Zach shoved again, harder. He was trained for this. He knew what to do now. Defeat the obstacle. Escape activity. Get back to headquarters.

Bryce staggered back with a grunt of pain.

The hands holding him down let go. Zach surged up to a sitting position.

The color leached out of the world again. The floor tilted sideways. He tasted iron.

Beside him, Bryce was rummaging in the drawer of the bedside table. “I’m sorry about this,” Bryce said. “This is the last of the pain medication. But you need it now more than you’ll need it later, I think.”

“Don’t need medication,” Zach mumbled. “Need to get home. Stay out of my way.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed.

When Bryce closed the drawer, he had something small in his hand. A syringe. Zach remembered the three figures crouching over him on the city street. The drug that had stolen away his ability to fight.

“A triple dose should be enough to knock you out,” Bryce said with a sigh.

“No—” Zach struggled to his feet. But the quick motion did more than half Bryce’s work for him. He fell backward onto the mattress, and couldn’t fight when the needle pierced his skin.

Unlike the sedative his abductors had used on him, this drug didn’t smash into his skull like a concrete block. It stole over him like a lover, its hands gentle as it pulled him down into the soft blackness.

---

Tagged: @sowhumpful

Ask to be added or removed from taglist.

[clownboymcchucklefuck]

Colored Gaze Theory: Zachary Has a Mental Disorder.

WARNING: PLEASE DO NOT ROMANTICIZE ANY BEHAVIOR I TALK ABOUT IN THIS THEORY. IT IS NOT HEALTHY AND YOU SHOULD SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW SHOWS SYPMTOMS.

Theory begins under cut:

Does anybody else find it kind of strange that the dev is so open about Zachary being the "worst" LI and showing his bad side?

The whole point of Colored Gaze is to find out the LI's true "colors" and so far Seth and Simon haven't shown their true ones in tumblr/CC asks unless it's a little lore hint here and there. We all assume that Zachary is the most dangerous but what if it's the exact opposite? After all, Zachary is the only LI I couldn't see killing MC.

"Oh but Zachary's basically been the most of a bitch from what we have seen on the tumblr/cc so far!" But what if that's what the dev is trying to make us think just so that they can throw a curveball at us and catch us off guard? 

In a past theory I had mentioned that on the C.C that Zachary has depression, but I’m now realizing that it probably meant that Zachary needed to see a therapist and I’ve figured out why.

Zachary has Borderline Personality Disorder.

As crazy as I may sound, it actually makes a lot of sense. Lets also think about how it's been said that Zach’s parents were never really “involved” with his life so if he did show any symptoms of a mental disorder at a young age his parents never would have known and brushed it off.

Source:

“Zachary... hmmm.... despite having a 'perfectly' normal childhood with his parents supporting what he wants to do and capability to do pretty much anything... his parents weren't really super involved with him deeply. Like, they kind of lack major presence or never really had a deep connection with him, they're just 'child and parent'.”

Comparing Zachary’s behavior to BPD.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder:

"Bold – Impulsivity is a BPD trait that can be positively linked to being bold, courageous and having the ability to speak one's mind. Creative – The high intensity of emotions can be released into creative endeavors. Many people with BPD put their entire emotional expression into music, art, performance and writing."

Now correct me if I’m wrong, (and I very well might be) but Zachary’s interest with photography could fit into the creative endeavors part.

He's also very bold with his flirting as we see in the demo whenever he kisses MC's hand within the first 3 minutes of knowing them.

"individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically."

“Relationship problems: People with BPD often have intense, tumultuous relationships with others. They may “fall hard” when they meet new people, putting them on pedestals. Their loved ones may describe them as overly needy or clingy.”

For some context for people that haven't listened to Zachary’s playlist; Most of the songs do include lyrics about a very strong love and loving intensely so I believe this fits him.

“Depending on symptom manifestations, both men and women diagnosed with BPD may experience promiscuity, impulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality, or sex avoidance. These sexual changes may also affect the ability to maintain healthy and stable relationships.”

“One of the hallmarks of BPD is impulsivity, which can manifest as engaging in risky behaviors, including reckless sexual activity. Hypersexuality can be a coping mechanism for individuals with BPD as they try to fill an emotional void or deal with intense emotions.”

Now I think we all now that Zachary is a horny bastard which is what made me look into this being one of the symptoms of BPD in the first place. It could very much explain why he’s so horny. But it makes more sense when you understand that he somewhat cannot control feeling that way now that we know he’s not just being horny just to be horny but it's because he’s more than likely hypersexual.

“Romantic fantasization is a common feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD). The unpredictable emotional state associated with borderline personality disorder can cause confusing fluctuations in how borderlines view their romantic partners.”

This could also explain a lot of things about Zachary like why he wants kids with MC so badly, why he’s so “persistent” about being with/marrying MC. 

I also found another article basically talking about why some people are attracted to people with BPD and I’m going to put another disclaimer that this type of behavior is not healthy. I am not encouraging or romanticizing it so please don’t either.

“They're easily seduced by the borderline's extreme openness, charm, and vulnerability. In addition, the borderline's passion and intense emotions are enlivening to non-BPDs, who find being alone depressing or “healthy” people boring.”

“A person with impulsive borderline personality disorder often displays the following signs and symptoms of the subtype: Flirtatious with others, sometimes without even realizing it. Captivating, able to act with a natural magnetism. Elusive and mercurial.”

Correct me if I’m wrong but this somewhat explains Zachary to a T. Albeit he only flirts with MC but it has been said that even when he was in school and on valentines day he would get alot of cards and gifts and such because of how he attracted people. I’m pretty sure in past posts its mentioned that Zachary has a “charm” too, along with his parents raising him to be a gentleman. I’ve talked about how him being raised that way may have affected him in a past theory/shitpost too which I will put here:

Me: Zachary probably has years of repressed sexual desire because of how he was raised to be gentlemen and thats why he's such a freak (horny) all the time and I can only imagine how the standards he had to meet of being a "gentleman" affected him mentally considering its been stated that Zachary hasn't felt love before MC and that he himself probably holds himself up to impossibly high standards which in way is shown by him being a perfectionist and thats probably why he's depressed-

My friend who just asked if I wanted a pringle: wtf

This changes everything. We’ve always assumed that Zachary is the yandere because of his behavior that the dev is suspiciously open about. Zachary isn't the yandere, he is mentally ill.

Once again I just find it very suspicious that it's so obvious that Zachary is the "yandere". There's also a song on Zachary's playlist called Borderline too which is what made me think about this in the first place.

There's also a couple other disorders I could tie to Zachary too.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder [OCD]

Obsessive Love Disorder

Now the second one has only recently been recognized as a mental disorder by professionals so I doubt it may be OLD. (hehehehe get it? Cause Zachary's old- I’ll shut up now.)

Now somebody brought up Zachary possibly OCD to me because of how clean he is and how he wants everything to go his way. However, the "wanting everything to go his way." Could also tie into him having BPD and the cleaning part I have to remind them that OCD doesn't stand for Obsessive Cleaning Disorder smh.

Now this post is already long af so I'm going to stop it right here. I've tried to provide as much sources as I could so that people won't be asking clrdgaze blog where I got it from. (Smh guys just ask me, I swear I don't bite and I love asks. 😭) Thank you for reading my unhinged rambling and have a nice day. ♡

[Reblogs are greatly appreciated too!]

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Zachary belongs to @clrdgaze

@dont-wannadothis-anymore @mysticnebula