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philliamwrites · 4 years ago

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The Dawn Will Come [Chpt.6]

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Pairing: Dimitri x Reader, Claude x Reader, Edelgard x Reader, Yuri x Reader, Edelgard x Byleth, lots of minor pairings

Tags: #gn reader, # platonic love byleth & reader, #reader is a tactical unit, #angst, #slow burn, #subplots, #unreliable narrator, #pining, #remporary amnesia, #reluctant herp, #canon divergence, #lost twin au, #many chapters, #original content

Words: 5.1k

Summary: Waking up in a forest without any knowledge of your past and who you are, you join the house leaders of the Officers Academy to search for a way to return your memories. Unfortunately, the church has different plans for you, and Fate places you in the centre of a cruel game with deadly stakes. It certainly doesn’t help to fall in love with a house leader who is doomed to be your demise.

Notes: Chapter 5 | Chapter 7

Chapter 06: From The Beyond

Ah! It is well for the unfortunate to be resigned, but for the guilty there is no peace.

[Mary B. Shelley, Frankenstein]

Thinking back on it later, the events during Garland Moon were probably what set the hare running toward its demise. Not that any of you could have known that. Not the students who joyfully spend their days in cherished halls where daylight passes through coloured glass; not Byleth with her gift to correct past mistakes with a flick of her wrist and change the course of time; not you with your foresight to see what dangers await in the future and prepare a different path for those you care for to walk safely.

Thinking back on it later, everything that followed surely ascribed to and served Fate, and not even Sylvain could charm her with his silver tongue and golden wit, for Fate’s lover is Time and she does not look kindly upon those who enslave him.

Maybe that is why things turned out the way they did for Byleth and you.

But that future is still far away and every single one of you still believes the goddess has Fate tightly leashed to her side, her benevolence endless and spreading to every corner in Fódlan.

That is why you don’t think too much about it when one day, Seteth disturbs your seminar, a deep frown settled in his features as you explain how to turn an ambush to your advantage to the students.

“Apologies for the disturbance, Herald. Lady Rhea asks to see Ashe.”

The boy gives a pitiful squeal but is up on his feet nonetheless. “Me? Why?”

“You will see. Please come.” Seteth holds the classroom’s door open.

You nod, a little worried about the frightened glance Ashe sends your way like he hopes you can actually say no and decline Rhea’s command. An encouraging smile is everything you can give him on his way before the door shuts behind him. Its sound wakes everyone else from their slumber and it takes a few minutes to reclaim order and their attention. It certainly does help that the Blue Lion House isn’t as chaotic as a certain other, not to name any names.

Said house proves again to be more difficult to teach. Or tame. You didn’t have the courage to ask why they thought it was a good idea to see whose shoe would leave the darkest stain on Claude’s bedroom’s ceiling. Even days after their mischief students kept talking about how they have never seen Seteth this furious.

“Herald, please,” Hilda cries, tragically draped over the back of her chair, a maiden in bittersweet agony over her loss of free time. “It was all Claude’s fault.”

“Liars never prosper,” Claude calls from the far back of the room. He’s hunched over his papers, working vigorously on Seteth’s punishment. He ordered them to write hundred times I shall not throw footwear against any ceiling in the monastery. They’ve been at it for about twenty minutes and Claude’s quill hasn’t stopped its furious scratching against parchment at all.

“I won’t mess with Seteth,” you tell them and lean dangerously far back on your chair to place your feet on the teacher’s desk. “And you deserve it. Or do they not teach you proper manners in your noble homes?”

“Well, it’s not like anyone taught us not to do it,” Hilda chirps. You throw a glare her way and she quickly dugs her head and continues writing. Quills scratch on paper for about seven seconds before Hilda stops again.

“Herald,” she says. “What do you think about Lady Catherine’s Thunderbrand?”

You look up from your book titled Noticeable War Generals. Smile gone from her face, Hilda looks up at you with sharp curiosity. It’s eerily silent now, and a quick glance towards Claude shows he is listening as well.

Catherine’s Thunderbrand. Its sight is still burned into the back of your closed eyes: Golden ivory forged into a grotesque sword, a blood red Crest Stone in its middle that seemed to pulsate—as if it breathed. As if it was a living thing with a heart. You had simply stared at it in awe and thought What a mesmerising weapon.

“It’s … fascinating,” you manage. “A Hero’s Relic. There are more than just Thunderbrand, right?”

“Ten exist,” Claude calls from the back. “Bestowed by the goddess upon ten heroes, they are passed down to their descendants. House Riegan and House Goneril have one in their possession as well.”

“Then why don’t you use it?” You certainly wouldn’t miss a chance to own and wield a mighty weapon like that.

“Wield that?”Hilda shudders in disgust. “No thank you. It looks so weird, pulsating and moving like an insect.”

“And we’re way too inexperienced to use it in a real battle.” Claude puts his quill between his nose and upper lip and tries to hold it there. “They’re locked away anyway and hidden from those who might misuse their power.”

Claude has a point. Nonetheless, you’d gladly take a look at them. Maybe even hold one … Did the Herald own one as well? A special weapon only forged for the Herald. A slight shudder runs down your spine at the thought of using it in battle.

Ten minutes later, Claude jumps to his feet. He hurries towards you, slams his parchments on the table and leaves just as fast. “Bye Herald!”

“No way!” Hilda pales. “How is he so fast?”

You wonder as well and take a look at his papers. Instead of writing what Seteth has told them, Claude simply left poor drawings of their crime and promised with one sentence he wouldn’t do it again.

And we of House Riegan never break our promises, reads the last line.

You groan. Now it’s your turn to think about a good explanation to Seteth’s questions why you haven’t paid more attention.

Month three passed within the blink of an eye. Garland Moon brought the sweet smell of white roses to Garreg Mach, a tradition much anticipated by the students. Everywhere you went, garlands and gifts made of white roses were given to each other as a sign of friendship or budding love. Some found their way to your desk, though your admirers preferred to stay anonymous whereas Byleth was busy to stow them somewhere—not a day passed without her receiving something or a group of giggling students following her around.

“I really don’t know what to do with all those flowers,” she told you one day during a tea session, a deep frown on her face. “They wilt. Then I throw them away. It’s a waste.”

“Your students love it,” you replied but were glad not to be in her place.

Another good deed Garland Moon brought with it is longer days and shorter nights. Students lounged outside in their summer uniforms after class, enjoying those last warm days before raining season arrived with fierce gusts and heavy pouring, forcing them back inside where they spent their free time inside the library or the dining hall, playing little games to kill time.

For a change of pace, Byleth and Jeralt decided they’d hold a grilled fish dinner on every last day of each week and most of the invited either didn’t have the heart or the courage to tell them once every week was once every week too much.

Everything happened too fast after that. Rhea informed the teacher’s faculty and her Knights of Lord Lonato Gaspard’s planned rebellion against the church. With that, the mystery of why Seteth had demanded to speak with Ashe was solved; it also explained why he spent so much time inside the chapel, praying and wondering himself about his adoptive father’s reasoning.

“There is no question about it,” Rhea says in her cool, demanding voice once every teacher and Knight of Seiros gathered inside the War Room to discuss the matter. “We will send a troop to meet them halfway in Kingdom Territory. They will pay for mocking our goddess.”

“Allow me to lead the Knights, Lady Rhea,” Catherine says. Even now, you can’t take your eyes off Thunderbrand strapped on her back. “I know Gaspard and what he’s capable of.”

“We did not forget what you’ve done back when—” Seteth starts. Catherine silences him with one look, leaving no doubt she doesn’t wish to speak of it.

“And that is exactly why I have to go.”

Rhea nodded. “So be it. I know I leave this mission in your capable hands.”

“But why is he leading this rebellion?” you wonder. “I thought the Kingdom is strongly devoted to Seiros’ teachings.”

“Every flock has its black sheep,” Rhea says, sounding sad. “We will get our answers once we defeat and capture them.”

“What about the surrounding villages and those who support Gaspard’s rebellion but don’t fight?” Byleth asked. Until now, you haven’t really thought of those not directly involved in it, but she does make a good point.

Rhea squared her shoulders. “What about them?”

“They’re not directly involved but might try to get in our way.” Byleth glanced at the strategic map laid out before her. There is a way through the forest for your units to approach Lonato’s stronghold. Surrounding villages are marked with a red pin. They surround the forest in a loose circle, making an intrusion possible, though sending Knights of Seiros out to watch them and stop them could be quite easy—

“Everyone who supports this foolish rebellion should receive the rightful punishment,” Rhea says, her voice so cold it freezes your thoughts of how to make the villagers stay out of this. Your head snaps up as you stare at her. Byleth raises an eyebrow but remains silent just like everyone else. Something about that makes you shudder.

“But they’re civilians, right? If we can avoid having them interfere—”

“By joining Lonato Gaspard’s rebellion they pledge guilty to his cause.” Rhea looks up at you, scorn flashing briefly in her eyes. “I will not have them simply go if it opens the possibility for revenge one day.”

If you squinted really hard, there was reason behind her words. Still, your stomach turned at the thought of endangering civilians even though it could be prevented. Without any protests, that was the plan for the operation.

You sat this one out. There was much to prepare for the upcoming Rite of Rebirth, a ceremony when the Church of Seiros and its believers unite to pray for the return of the goddess. Even though you wouldn’t call yourself a believer—many find it strange that you remember the way of war but not the way of the Church as if you lived somewhere without Seiros’ teachings—your presence was of outmost importance as well. Though after you heard how the mission went, you really wished you had joined the Blue Lions fighting against Gaspard instead of sitting around and deciding which ceremonial robes fit better.

Loud voices drift through the closed door of a classroom, voices you immediately recognise belonging to Dimitri and Byleth.

“Are you insane?” You flinch back even though a heavy wooden door separates you from what is undoubtedly Dimitri’s wrath. “Those were civilians.”

A reply is lost, too quiet for you to hear, but whatever Byleth said, it wasn’t the right thing. A second later, Dimitri storms through the doors. The distress in his features stops you from asking what is wrong, a flash of betrayal lurking in his eyes seals your mouth shut. You look after him until he disappears around the corner, only slowly turning towards Byleth. She is propping herself up on the table, learning on her strong arms and staring at the opposite wall, her mouth a grim line—solid rock that stands against the raging waves summoned by Dimitri, her grip on the edge of the table hard enough to turn her knuckles white.

“Everything okay?” An unnecessary question answered by a simple shake of her head. You lean your hips against the table. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Byleth is silent. Only slowly, like a tight knot finally coming lose, the tension in her shoulders dissipates and she takes a long, deep breath.

“Dimitri told me about their mission. How they dealt with Lord Lonato’s revolt.” She finally steps away from the table and kneads the muscles in her shoulders. You imagine they’re hard like a rock. “They faced simple peasants who defended their Lord. Peasants who didn’t even know how to wield a sword without cutting their own thumbs off.”

“And Rhea made quite clear how to deal with them,” you finish, summoning unwanted imaginations about a gruesome butchery in your mind. Byleth nods.

“Dimitri asked for my advice,” she continues, her gaze drifting towards the door as if said young man might return like a bad haunting if his name is simply muttered. “If there was anything they could have done different. I told him there wasn’t.” She tears her eyes away from the door and fixes them on you. “I told him that is the way of war.”

She is right, a part of you insists. Such facts cannot be changed and claiming anything different is foolish, naive. Yet, something stirs, a tiny tiny voice, a feeling, that challenges that thought. A feeling you didn’t expect to be part of you.

“I don’t know about the details,” you say, shuffling from left to right, “but maybe it was avoidable. Lord Lonato must have known how his subjects felt about it. He didn’t need to involve them.”

“I think they joined on their own. The students gave them a chance to lay down their weapons.”

“Still—”

“Still they decided to follow their foolish Lord,” a voice from the door joins, cold and imperious, chilling you to the bone. Rhea enters the War Room, her expression void of any warmth or kindness. “There is no place for doubt. We must punish any sinner who may inflict harm upon believers, even if those sinners are civilians.”

“And you think to have the students punish them is right?” Byleth asks, earning a sharp glare from Rhea. She quickly, but somewhat begrudgingly adds, “Your Grace.”

“I have heard that some students struggled with completing the task,” Rhea acknowledges, doing her best to show how unaffected she is by Byleth’s criticism. “I pray they learnt a valuable lesson about the fate that awaits all who are foolish enough to point their blades towards the heavens.”

An icy shudder crawls up your spine, cold fingers tighten around your throat to keep you silent—a leash forged of obedience and intimidation, the mistress standing before you. It would be wise to keep your mouth shut, not draw unnecessary attention; keep your head low and nothing can slice it from your shoulders. But the words, burning hot on your tongue, demand freedom.

“Fearing the Church isn’t the same as respecting it.”

Something sharp flashes in Rhea’s eyes. “If fear is the only way to control them, then so be it. They are traitors to the holy teachings.”

“They are people. People with families.”

“People who would be wise to remember it was the progenitor god who gave them these lands and their life,” Rhea answers, growing impatient. She notices something in the way you look at her, for she takes a moment to collect herself by taking a deep breath. “I do not enjoy seeing those who wronged our holy teachings punished, Herald,” she continues, now much calmer. “But punish them we must before they hurt those who are dear to us.” Upon her last words, her eyes dart to Byleth, looking at her with so much fondness and care, a sting of jealousy in your chest forces you to avert your gaze to the ground. It isn’t the first time you notice Rhea’s palpable interest in Byleth’s wellbeing though no answer comes to mind why it is like that. If Byleth noticed the same, she doesn’t show it.

After that, the incident is quickly forgotten, making room for the new incident occupying everyone’s mind: an assassination plot on Rhea on the day of the Rite of Rebirth found in Lonato’s possession. You aren’t the only one wondering why he’d carry something like that around where it’s easy to find. Multiple theories go around, one more farfetched than the other. One particular makes sense, its source none other than sharp witted Claude who thinks this plot is a simple distraction for something much bigger.

“If security is focused on the Rite of Rebirth inside the Goddess’ Tower, pretty much anyone can simply stroll around the monastery and do who knows what,” he told you on the day Byleth and her class set out to discover what important places might become a target. Garreg Mach hides many secrets and treasures. Some of them even you are not allowed to see like relics passed down from archbishop to archbishop, guarded by the elite of the Knights of Seiros, tall and bulky men and women with grim mouths and determined eyes rooting them in place day and night in front of locked doors only Rhea knows what they hide.

With every passing day, tension hangs in the air like a thick blanket waiting to smother you all. But it isn’t simply the anticipation for whatever the Western Church has planned. It is also the holy ceremony of the Rite of Rebirth, one you’ve practised under the stern eyes of Seteth who doesn’t settle for anything less than perfect. Every word, every step is engraved in your mind.

On the day of the Rite of Rebirth the sun relentlessly blazes down at the monastery. Your ceremonial robes are heavy and woven from thick jacquard fabric lined with fine golden patterns that depict the Herald’s Crest on the back. You’ve barely finished preparing everything inside the round chamber inside the Goddess’ Tower but perspiration glues your hair to your forehead.

A whole feast is prepared; food offerings and gifts from the townsfolk and priests served on golden and silver plates on long tables covered with white table clothes. In the middle Seteth prepared a small platform for Rhea to stand and speak in honour of the goddess that she may return to Fódlan and show its people her infinite grace. In short, you’d do anything to join the students who are securing the locations lacking in defence right now instead of standing around and waving at pilgrims. The only joy lies in Flayn’s bright presence and her never ending optimism. She’s a sweet girl and has been looking forward to the ceremony since the beginning of Blue Sea Moon. Looking upon her, it is hard not to catch her excitement and joy when the ceremony finally begins.

Because of certain circumstances you couldn’t quite follow, the holy relic used for the ceremony, the Chalice of Beginnings, has been missing for a long time. Because of that, a mock chalice was prepared by the cardinals, a handful of high authority men and women who make it no secret they can’t quite decide if they like or dislike you and your position.

“You must excuse them,” one of the cardinals says after a group of them simply shook their heads at you happily scooping tons of food on a plate. His dark hair falls to his shoulders and unlike the other cardinals, his brown eyes are filled with kindness. “They simply think in old patterns and value their old traditions. You are quite young, Herald. They don’t know how to handle that.”

“But you do?” you wonder and notice too late how unfriendly that sounds. But he simply laughs.

“I do frequent with young folk, yes,” he says. “They are my flock and I will do anything to protect them.”

“That again, Aelfric?” Catherine joins you and slaps his shoulder just when he was about to drink from his cup. You pretend the pastries on your plate are far more interesting than watching him choke on wine. “You’re way too good for them, you know?”

“Who is ‘them?’” you ask but Catherine just sways her hand as if he wants to get rid of a nasty fly.

“Unimportant. You did a good job carrying the chalice to the podium.”

“I did almost trip over these.” You pluck at the heavy robes, already looking forward to getting out of them.

Catherine laughs but it is short lived. Out of nowhere, a knight hurriedly approaches and leans over to her, muttering, “They are after the tomb of Saint Seiros.”

Glass shatters as her grip tightens around the fragile stem but without so much as noticing it she storms towards Rhea, fury blazing in her eyes. Something happened. Something far more exciting than playing a believer in front of everyone, so you follow her to listen in more.

“Those dastards from the Western Church infiltrated the Holy Mausoleum,” she says. Rhea pales. “I will take some knights and go there at once.”

“Go and be swift, Catherine.” Rhea’s words are barely a puff of breath, those news shaking her but she remains stoic in front of everyone to prevent panic. Her voice drops dangerously low. “Punish those heathens.”

Catherine’s head dips in a slight bow. “I will, Your Grace.”

“I want to help too.”

Both turn around at your voice. Catherine narrows her eyes to sharp slits, but it is Rhea who says, “No. I need you here for the ceremony, Herald.”

“Please, let me,” you beg. Something inside you demands to follow, demands to see what is inside the Holy Mausoleum that causes so much bloodshed. “I can’t explain, but I need to be there.”

Rhea presses her lips into a thin line. Before she reopens her mouth to decline your wish, you whirl around and leave the ceremony room, Catherine in hot pursuit. You manage halfway down the hallway before she reaches you and grabs your arm hard.

“Even though you are the Herald, I won’t allow you to show this disrespect towards Her Grace,” she snarls. “If she tells you to stay, you listen.”

“I don’t expect you to understand,” you say, trying to free your arm from her bone breaking grip. “But something calls me to this place and I need to follow it.”

Catherine isn’t pleased but she knows better than do you any real harm. With a crude nod, she allows you to follow. Several knights wait for you and together you make your way through the warm evening air towards the Holy Mausoleum that lies behind the chapel.

You enter right before chaos erupts. At the end of the hall, its ceiling so high up it’s barely visible in the dark, Byleth stands tall and rises a sword that flashes in a bright red light. A throb goes through your body and brings you to your knees. It feels like an arrow drove into your chest, the stinging pain unlike anything you’ve felt before—no, it’s a pain you haven’t felt since the Crest appeared on your eye for the first time. And then that thrumming energy within you exploded, a sharp crimson that drenched every corner of your right vision, rushing through your veins.

“Kill them!” an enemy mage commands, fury fuelling him to a last desperate attack. With his remaining companions, they summon a giant fire spell you’ve only read about in books, a combination of spells into a group flame that covers a large area—the pre-stage to a much more fatal blaze that can scorch the land. Blaze or no, the effect watching the giant fire ball curling and sparking until it grows large enough to wipe out anything in its way is the same. Fear paralyses your body. Move, your mind screams, but you can’t. Your muscles have locked up; a high whine of terror fills your head and fizzes in your blood like poison, yet you do not understand where this fear of fire comes from.

“Take cover!” Catherine roars but it is too late. The blast hits the ground right before you, dispersing your small group of reinforcements like wind scattering leaves in all directions. A loud crack beneath you makes your heart skip a beat, a rumble shakes the hall and before you can fully comprehend what is happening, the ground gives way.

The last thing you hear is Byleth shouting, not Herald, but your name before you plunge into darkness.

Wake up.

You have to wake up.

This darkness is terrifying, so utterly black and choking, curling around you like a tight fist. Like someone is holding you in their dirty, tainted clutches, smelling of death and horror. Wake up, you tell yourself, more urgent now, your mind struggling to escape from claws digging into your consciousness, their goal unknown but you don’t want to stay here to find out what they are after. What they want to take from you.

Wake up, this time another voice, the voice, echoing like a sweet bell’s chime, the flicker of light in a darkness so black it hums. You have to wake up.

Your eyes snap open, the sudden white ceiling hurting like a sudden flash of light. Once you’re used to the brightness, you realise this isn’t a room, this is … this is your consciousness—no walls, no windows. It’s just a space, and yet you can clearly determine borders. Somewhere is an exit you’re free to use, nothing holds you captive. It’s your safe place. Your haven. Which doesn’t explain how you’ve gotten here.

All you know is it feels safe. It feels like a warm embrace, the feeling of hope, watching a budding flower embraced by soft, fragile hands—asteritrope, your mind provides out of nowhere, the flower always turning its head towards the Blue Star.

It is like breaking a spell. First, everything is simply white, empty, a second later, you stand in a vast field of asteritropes, an ocean of purple, gently swaying flowers at your feet. Everything smells of sweet innocence, of honey dipped fingers and bittersweet regret. It is a familiar scent, one your body remembers and reacts to with a shudder so strong it rattles deep in your bones; a chill so cold it freezes you on the spot, the slightest movement threatening to shatter you entirely.

What is this grief, this sadness? Is it your own or have you fallen into a sea of tears wept by someone else? Your chest is heavy with a burden, a pulling towards the unknown that is yet so familiar. It is homesickness towards a place you have never been but long to visit.

The flowers shaped like little stars stretch beyond what you think are the edges of this place. If this is a dream, you don’t want to wake up anytime soon, relishing in this peace and quiet.

A peace and quiet that lasts only a moment until you notice it. Not it, him. In the middle of the field, a boy sits, bent over something that demands his complete attention. Dark curls fall against pale skin, his brows pulled tightly together as his fingers work something in his lap. He is wearing a simple white robe, though it is unlike any of the religious wear you've seen on the priests and nuns; it seem ... too old for that. Only after you approach, you see he is folding purple flowers and green steams into a crown.

“Hello?” you say, only now entertaining the idea you might have died and this is the afterlife, the first point before returning to the goddess’ side. It is a strangely tranquil thought. “Can you hear me?”

The boy’s head snaps up, his eyes wide as he momentarily forgets his work, and you take a step back, struck by how bright his steel grey eyes are. They roam over you, up and down, back up again, as he slowly raises to his feet.

“You’re here,” he says, awestruck. “You’re finally here. It is so nice to meet you after all this time.”

His voice is like a punch to your gut. You recognise it immediately, the voice who pulled you back from the darkness.

“You—” Nothing makes sense. “Who are you? What are you?”

“There is nothing to fear,” he says, offering you his hand. The tips of his fingers are purple from handling delicate petals. The crown lies at his bare feet, forgotten. He looks strangely vulnerable.

You take another step back, worry a steady, hard pulse against your neck. The air catches in your lungs. You feel like the ground is opening beneath your feet. “Are you … the goddess? A god?”

The boy blinks, then throws his head back and bursts out laughing, the sound like sweet bells chiming in the wind. “You people love to call everything you do not understand god.”

“Then what are you?” It comes out as a breath, and for a brief second you think it’s fear that seizes your body, but no. You should be afraid and yet instead of frenzy panic there is a calm spreading inside you as if you belong here. You can’t say if it’s the boy’s presence or the familiar scent of wildflowers.

The boy leans his head to the side, his smile as vibrant as early sunlight casting away leftover shadows from a dark night. “Hmmm … the End, perhaps? Or why not just … a friend?”

“The end? My end?”

“No, the end is never simply the end,” he says, shaking his head.

“Is that supposed to reassure me?”

“It may be a rebirth,” he continues. “Or the passing into a new era. Into a new dawn.”

“A new dawn,” you mumble. The realisation makes your knees weak. “Don’t tell me—” You suck in a sharp breath, unable to belief where your thoughts are hurling towards in lightning speed. You kneel onto the soft flowerbed, careful not to crush any flowers. “Why are we here … do you know me by chance?”

“I … cannot say for sure,” he starts slowly, uncertainty turning his features even younger. “I have been watching you since you awoke four moons ago. On that day, I as well awoke from a deep slumber. But I do not know why it is you that I am bound to.”

“Bound to?” Your head spins. “What do you mean?”

“You must have felt it by now, have you not? I am here because of this,” he says, and lifts his hand to point at your right eye. You flinch back as if he smacked you right across your face.

“So you are him,” you whisper, a shudder ripping through your body. “You’re the first Herald. You are Seiros’ Champion.”

The boy smiles.

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andshedoesitagain · 4 years ago

Text

How can you stare into the double of a dead man, without seeing a ghost?

George Weasley x Reader Words - 1,178

Warnings - Angst, Grief, Fred’s death, Hurt, Comfort

Plot - Even when the war is over, there are many inner battles to be fought, especially when grief settles so heavy over everyone’s minds.

The sky had exploded into colour, sparks flying through the air with such pointed precision you couldn’t help but inhale with a hiss, your breath sharply caught between your teeth. No matter how many times you blinked, the blur that hazed your vision became no clearer, caused by the dust that gently cascaded from the roof above you, or confusion caused tears that you hadn’t even noticed were building, you couldn’t tell.

You had become disoriented not long after the chaos had erupted throughout the school, having been hit by a rogue spell and left knocked out for an amount of time you hadn’t quite figured out yet, and while waking up in the midst of a war was startling enough, what had caught you off guard the most was how alone you were in the hallway; you could hear and see the mess of war just outside behind the windows that lined the narrow room, but not another soul was to be seen alongside you.

Standing up, you tried to ignore the unwilling tremble of your legs, and screaming fear that gnawed at your head, instead clambering towards the doors that stood forebodingly at the end of the hall, trying not sway any more than you already were.

Hesitantly you pushed them open, met with many familiar faces of former teachers and peers, some paler than others.

Twisting at the delicate gold band on your ring finger, your head screamed one name, George. You needed to find George, you had left him and Fred at the beginning to go help Harry, much to George’s dismay, who could only look at you with pleading eyes, a look that now felt permanently burned into the back of your eyelids.

“I’ll be right back, I promise,” You whispered, staring up at him, your face held softly in between George’s palms.

“You better be.” Eyes now glassy, the taller man pressed his lips to the top of your head, “I still have to marry you,” he mumbled as he pulled back, causing a tearful chuckle to bubble from your throat, as you leaned up to kiss him, trying not to let out a sob held tightly in your chest.

“C’mon lovebirds, we have a war to win,” a voice from behind the pair of you caused you to both look over, Fred stood, arms crossed, his expression very much matching your own, fear hidden behind feigned hope.

Glancing back to George, you pulled him down to kiss his forehead, before turning away and throwing yourself into Freds arms, holding him tight before pulling back, hands lightly placed on his shoulders, “don’t do anything dumb, and don’t let my fiancée do anything dumber,” you smiled through the frown that tried to stretch over your face.

Ruffling your hair, Fred nodded, “same goes to you, dummy.” Pulling him into your arms once again, you took a deep breath.

Footsteps echoing as you walked, your eyes ran over the room, that had been set up as a makeshift infirmary, and the many faces surrounding. Some sat sobbing into lifeless bodies, while others were left to sit and stare into empty space, eyes completely vacant, hope abandoned. It caused a chill to course through your body, as you hugged your arms closer, trying to remember to breathe as you walked.

You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face when you caught sight of a familiar group of red heads, your found family all gathered into one place.

Running over, your pulse quickened, excitement tossing around in your stomach, although as quick as it appeared, that excitement fizzled out in a matter of seconds.

Molly was hunched over, pained cries passing her lips, as Arthur tried desperately to keep her on her feet. From over her shoulder, you could see George bent over on his knees, clutching desperately at his twin, Fred’s face drained of any colour and life that it once held.

Even as you tried to move forward, you couldn’t, your feet firmly stuck to the floor, eyes wide and lips pursed closed. Arthur, glanced back, catching your own gaze, he shook his head, tears slipping down his cheeks.

Looking to the floor, you finally closed your eyes, placing a hand over your mouth, as a nauseous wave hit you so suddenly, you swear you could’ve fainted right there.

Pulling your feet from the ground, you took a few more shaky steps towards George, kneeling down by his side, trying not to look at who he held so dearly in his arms. His sobs rang out through the eerily silent room, and you couldn’t help but let your own slip out.

You had spent your entire childhood, arms linked with the twins, having met them the first day, of your first year at Hogwarts, and even when you and George’s childhood friendship slowly turned into something more, and right down to your engagement, you weren’t any less close with his brother, you could whole-heartedly say Fred was your best friend, although now that was, was spiralling around in your head.

Time passed, in what felt like hours, and eventually Arthur and Ron gently guided Fred out of Georges arms, to have him laid flat on the floor. George then crouched into your arms, the usually taller man, now small and fragile in your embrace, you cried together for as long as you could before you both were pulled from your grievance, back into the ongoing war.

The day after the war had ended was quiet, you had all piled into the burrow, everyone dotted around the house as they tried to deal with the day before. Molly hadn’t stopped cleaning and organising, cooking meals for anyone who looked even remotely hungry, although you had caught her a few times slipping into the bathroom, the tap running louder than need, followed by aching whimpers, every time she looked out of the front window, and caught sight of George, her eyes followed him for longer than anybody else, confusion pulled into the lines on her face.

Arthur on the other hand, had been sat in the living room, with most of the others, just staring blankly. While he listened to everybody else trying to make conversation, he had kept silent himself, even when you had passed a cup of tea, he had looked up to you for just a second, a pained smile sent your way, before he took a sip, and his faraway look returned.

Ginny and Harry sat at the kitchen table, hand in hand, both offering to help Mrs Weasley multiple times, only to be shot swiftly down, instead just going back to talking quietly, Ginny seemingly catching herself every time she went to mention Fred, physically shaking her head, as if to filter the words from her mind.

You hadn’t even seen Ron since you had all returned home, he had walked upstairs, and crawled into bed almost immediately, and only came down for dinner before slouching back up to his room, Hermione had followed him, and when you had peeked your head in, you saw her sat in the bed, as Ron’s head was rested on her chest, between her gentle shushing and strokes of his hair, she sent you a soft eyed smile.

Bill and Fleur had stayed firmly put in the living room, the blonde having napped most of the day, her head rested in the crook of her husband's shoulder, her hands wrapped tightly around the man's arm, squeezing a little too hard for it to be passed off as just a habit of sleep. Bill could only send concerned glances over to his father every time he tried to ask something, or even observe his father's inventions lined around the living room, to only be met with silence, after a while he seemed to have given up, instead dozing off alongside Fleur, his face contorted in anguish even as he slept.

Shrugging on your jacket, you slowly pulled back the front door. George hadn’t yet entered the house, even as everybody else breathed out sighs of relief, as they finally arrived home, George had sat on the front step, claiming he was just taking a minute to catch his breath, and yet he still hadn’t crossed the welcome mat, even hours later.

The warm mug in your hands, soothed the cold nip that spread across your fingers, as you sat down beside the tall man, looking up at him in attempt to read his expression, which was nothing short of empty. “I got you this,” you whispered, trying to pass him the mug.

His hands trembled as he reached over, unable to meet your eyes, as he looked into the drink, whispering back, “thanks, love.”

It wasn’t yet the time to talk, so instead you just sat there, staring off into the hills beside the love of your life, hearing porcelain clicked against stone, you didn’t look over as George’s hand slowly intertwined with yours, the fragile notion, causing a lump in your throat.

Night had fallen quicker than anybody would’ve liked, childhood fears of the dark brought back with an even greater weight, one that nobody could shake off as easy. Pair by pair, everyone broke off into their rooms, George had shaken his head when you had tried to guide him to his bedroom, and you understood instantly.

Instead, you both had settled into the couch in the living room, wrapped up in too many blankets to count, yet still you couldn’t deny the chill in the air, like Fred not being there had suddenly set the atmosphere off balance, and everything just now felt cold and vacant.

Laying there, the lighting dim, you couldn’t help but pour over Georges face, you could understand what everybody else was thinking, how can you stare into the double of a dead man, without seeing a ghost?

You knew George thought it too, hence why he had taken so much liberty to avoid any room with mirror, even opting to brush his teeth in the kitchen, and even you, who had spent so much time seeing how different the twins were, to the point where you could tell them apart with your eyes closed, couldn’t deny how strange it was.

Snapped out of your daze, George placed his hand on your face, “you’re not looking at me, are you?” His voice was toneless, and yet dripping with ache.

“I am looking at you, George.” Even though you understood what he meant, you could never place Fred’s face over his own, such subtle differences pulling them completely separate. Eyes softening, you placed your hand over his own, “I’m always looking at you.”

//I took a little hiatus, so I’m sorry for not posting in a while, but I had an idea for this one, and got totally wrapped up in it, and so I’m going to try to get more out soon, I’m interested in doing a part two to this, which would be more about the Weasley family all healing, so let me know what you think :) //

#Harry Potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #george weasley #george wealsey x reader #fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #ron weasley #bill weasley #molly weasley #ginny weasley #ron x hermione #harry x ginny #bill x fleur #arthur weasley #angst #hermione granger

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reidingandwriting · 4 years ago

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5 Times Tony Wasn’t There for You, and 1 Time He Was

Word Count: ~3200 words

Ship: Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader, Peter Parker x Stark!Daughter (Platonic), Lots of IronFam ft. the Parkers

Warnings: Probably some swearing, not completely movie compliant but follows the general timeline ❤ Kinda unrelated gif (kind of related if you pay attention) but look how CUTE Morgan and Tony are

✨ Masterlist ✨

-One-

As the young daughter of Tony Stark, you were used to your dad being busy with work. Meetings across the country, dinners with royal dignitaries across the globe, or simply just endless hours spent locked in his office. All of this before he went missing for three months and came back as Iron Man.

It was your sixth birthday and Tony had planned the perfect birthday party for you, with Pepper’s and Happy’s help of course. You had recently developed an intense fascination with marine life, so what better way for you and your family to celebrate your birthday then spending the day at the aquarium? He even splurged a little extra to convince the owners of the aquarium for you to have a sleepover under the sea. But the night before your party, Tony told you he had to leave for a little while. “It’s okay, Daddy.” You said, with the most innocent smile on your face. “Can we have some of my birthday cake tonight?” And how could Tony say no to that? After birthday cake and being tucked into bed, Tony flew off in his suit for one of the first of many times.

“Pepper, Pepper, Pepper!” You ran down the hall of your Malibu mansion, Happy trailing behind you. You launched yourself at Pepper, your little arms wrapping around her legs. “Is it time to see the fish?” Pepper scooped you into her arms and you settled on her hip, your face nuzzled into the crook of her neck.

“It’s almost time! Are all the bags packed?” Pepper looked up at Happy, who nodded.

“And in the car, ready whenever we leave.” Pepper smiled gratefully at Happy.

“Wait! Forgot something, down please.” Pepper set you down and you ran off towards your room.

“Thank you again, Happy. You know you don’t have to stay with us-“

“I want to.” Happy interjected. “What can I say? The kid’s grown on me.” The sound of your footsteps grew louder as you entered the living room a minute later, your stuffed bear and wad of black fabric in your arms.

“What’s that, Y/N?” Pepper tilted her head as you held out the material.

“You know Teddy, and this is Daddy’s favorite shirt. He’s not here, so Teddy can wear his shirt. Almost like he is there!” Pepper bit her lip and plastered on a smile she hoped looked half as happy as yours.

“Just like he’s there, huh? Come on, let’s go to the car. I bet the fish are so excited to see you.”

-Two-

After Tony had taken down Obadiah, who you totally never trusted by the way, and had the press conference where he announced he was Iron Man, things started to go back to normal. Well, as normal as anything involving Tony Stark can be. You spent time with your dad in the garage as he worked on suit upgrades, and DUM-E seemed extra chipper (and klutzy) while you were around. Your Uncle Rhodey visited more frequently and everything was good. Life was good, until recently.

For the last few weeks, your dad had been acting different. “Your dad’s under a lot of stress right now, Y/N. He’s okay.” Pepper would repeat this to you every time you asked. Natalie’s addition to Stark Industries provided a distraction for you, and you found yourself growing close to the red head.

Your dad, Pepper, Happy, and Natalie were in Monaco and you were left at home with Rhodey. You stood in the dark hall of your house, your Uncle Rhodey seated on the couch in the living room. The television lit up the room, and you slowly tip-toed to the couch. The blanket you held in your hand dragged against the floor as you climbed onto the couch.

“Hey, kiddo. What are you doing up so late?” Rhodey wrapped his arm around you and covered your body with your blanket.

“Lonely. Miss everyone.” You nestled into Rhodey’s side and your eyes glued to the television. “Boring movie, Uncle Rhodey.” Rhodey laughed and looked at you.

“And what do you want to watch, little miss? Let me guess, Tangled?” You nodded quickly and sent a dimpled smile up at your uncle.

“Please?” Rhodey groaned dramatically before he started the movie, and you giggled happily. And if Rhodey sang the songs with you, that was no one’s business but yours.

-Three-

You had hoped after the events in New York, with the team called the Avengers and their battle with Loki, things would go back to normal. Boy, were you wrong. You were on a plane with Pepper when you saw the footage of your dad flying into a wormhole, and it wasn’t until you were back in Malibu before you saw him again. Tears were shed and an endless amount of hugs were given when you were reunited.

The changes in your dad’s behavior were subtle in the beginning. Loud noises would startle him much easier than before, and he spent less time sleeping and double the amount of time in the garage working on his suits. When he did sleep, his dreams were plagued with nightmares. On those nights, he’d check on you multiple times before morning came. “Have to make sure my best girl’s okay.” Tony would say on the rare chance you were awake before he went back to the garage to work for hours until sunrise, where he’d repeat the cycle again. Work with Stark Industries, work at home, and maybe get a few hours of sleep.

Your dad’s PTSD got worse with each day that passed; throw in Happy being hospitalized, your Uncle Rhodey’s Iron Patriot makeover, and Pepper’s meeting with Aldrich Killian, Tony was a mess. And the threat of the Mandarin was the breaking point. “Come and find me. 10880 Malibu Point, 90265.” When Pepper heard the news, she told you to pack a bag, Christmas was going to take place as far from Malibu as possible. You stood in your bedroom, JARVIS playing Christmas music as you finished packing when you heard your dad, Pepper, and another woman yelling. You walked to the door and outstretched your hand, your fingertips brushing the handle when the first explosion went off. You went flying into your bedroom wall, and your world went dark.

When you woke up again, you were hit with the news. The only home you had known was reduced to rubble, your dad was missing, presumed to be dead by the media, and your life as you knew it was over. You and Pepper had joined the unknown woman, known as Maya, to get the hell out of there.

On Christmas Eve, you sat on your hotel bed, soft Christmas music playing in the room. You held your dad’s helmet in your lap, it being the closest it could be to having your dad with you. Pepper took a seat beside you, and you kept your gaze down, eyes glued to the helmet rested in your lap.

“How are you holding up?” Pepper’s voice was quiet, hesitant. She was especially cautious with you for the last few days, afraid to further upset you. You couldn’t even count how many times you burst into tears out of nowhere, but you always had Pepper to lean on. Like now, as you leaned your head on her shoulder.

“I just want my dad home.” Your voice cracked as the familiar sting in your eyes returned. You blinked rapidly as you tried not to cry again today. You picked up the helmet and hugged it to your chest. “I want to be on the couch, watching Home Alone, drinking hot chocolate. I want to be home. I miss him, Pepper.” Pepper’s shoulders shook as she tried not to cry, and she hugged you close.

‘Me too, kid. I miss him too.’

-Four-

After everything died down with the Mandarin, your dad returned to the Stark Tower you now called home. It took a while to settle in, even longer with the Avengers frequenting the space, but you had your family- your dad, Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey. Even JARVIS in his own special way was an important part of your life and family. But history has a way of repeating itself. Right as you developed a new routine and sense of normalcy, shit hits the fan. This time it was Ultron.

~~~

You were seated beside Maria as you and the team were on the balcony after one of your dad’s parties. You watched in amusement as Clint, your father, Rhodey, and Steve attempted to lift Mjolnir to no avail. The group talked and laughed, until the battle with Ultron started.

“Hill! Get Y/N out of here, now!” Tony yelled.

“Dad, no!” You started to go after your dad, and Maria grabbed your arm.

“Y/N. You can’t fight with them. I need to get you out of here, please don’t make me carry you.” You paused before nodding, and you followed Maria to safety. Hours later, you were on the phone with your dad.

“I’m sorry, kid. I only have a minute until I have to go off the grid.” Your eyes burned as you blinked away tears. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“You promise? All in one piece?” You asked

“Maybe two.” You choked out a tearful laugh at your dad’s answer and took a deep breath.

“I love you, Dad. Please, be safe.”

“I promise.”

~~~

You woke up with a gasp and clutched at your chest as you caught your breath. You flipped your phone over, three in the morning.

“Miss Stark?” FRIDAY, your dad’s new AI, asked. Before the first fight with Ultron, JARVIS had been pretty much destroyed. Then FRIDAY was born. “Your heart rate has greatly increased and your oxygen levels have slightly decreased. Shall I call Ms. Potts for medical attention?”

“No, no, no. No, please. I’m okay, just... a bad dream is all. Nothing new.” You grabbed your cup of water that sat on the nightstand and took a large gulp, and tried to calm yourself down. You also turned on your lamp, the small bulb casting a warm glow around you.

“Do you frequently have nightmares, Miss Stark?”

“Y/N, please. Sometimes. Usually my dad is here and he helps me calm down. He’d sit with me; sometimes we’d watch the TV for a while, or he’d read to me until I fell asleep again.“ You pulled your blanket closer to you, a wave of sadness hitting you. “I wish he was here.”

“I’m positive Mr. Stark will be home as soon as he can, Y/N.” A pause. “What did Mr. Stark read to you when you couldn’t sleep?”

“We’ve been reading the Percy Jackson books lately. We just finished the second book the other night.” You laid back in bed and let your eyes close, and you willed yourself to fall back asleep.

“‘The Friday before winter break, my mom-’” FRIDAY started to speak and your eyes snapped open.

“What are you doing, Fri?”

“Reading book three, The Titan’s Curse.” FRIDAY answered as if it was the obvious answer.

“But... why?”

“You said your father would read to you whenever you had nightmares. Mr. Stark can’t be here, so I thought I could start reading the book to you. Hopefully he won’t be too upset that you started without him.” You smiled at how genuine and caring FRIDAY sounded and closed your eyes again.

“That can be our little secret. Sorry for interrupting, FRIDAY. You can keep reading if you’d like.”

“Certainly. ‘The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school. We picked up my friends Annabeth and Thalia on the way.’” FRIDAY continued to read and you shortly fell asleep, a smile on your face. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

-Five-

You knew things would change after the battle with Ultron in Sokovia. You had just greatly underestimated how different things would be. One change was the new additions to the team- Vision and Wanda. While you got along well with them, not even your friendships could blind you to the tensions between your unconventional family. The already seldom group meals became even more rare the silence would be unsettling. If it wasn’t silent, there was arguing that you couldn’t escape.

Another change was the lack of Pepper in Tony’s life and subsequently your life. Pepper always tried to be there for you, even called you often and invited you to her office for lunch, but it wasn’t the same at home without her. Your dad was suffering from the loss more than he was letting on, and you had to be there for him as well.

~~~

“I’m a grown man, Y/N. I can take care of myself.” Tony said as he looked at you, and you set a plate and a glass of water down on his workshop table.

“I know you can, but will you?” Tony scowled at you, but you could see the gratitude in his eyes.

“Don’t know what I’d do without you, kid.” You smiled and hugged your dad tight.

“Probably fall apart.” You said with a playful smile. “Good thing you’ll never have to find out.” You let go of Tony and walked towards the exit. “Finish up soon, or I’ll have FRIDAY shut the power off.”

~~~

Things got worse when the Sokovia Accords were brought into play. Your family was torn apart by the decision whether or not to sign, with your dad being one of the few to sign and Cap being one of the few against the Accords. Throw in Clint’s retirement and the team you knew was no more. Tony knew this, and he made a trip to Queens for recruitment.

~~~

“Where are you going?” You sat up from your spot on the couch.

“Queens.” Tony walked over and took a seat beside you. “I’ve had FRIDAY tracking crime statistics, pair that with trending searches after these crimes, and I think we may have found someone in Queens that could be helpful.” Tony pulled his phone out of his pocket and projected a video for you. You tilted your head as you watched the person (definitely my age, you thought) in their makeshift suit swinging around the city, and your jaw dropped when you saw them catch a car with their bare hands.

“And how exactly did you find out who they are? Under the suit?”

“Classified.” Tony tapped the tip of your nose, and you swatted his hand away with a playful glare.

“Hope you have a way to convince his guardians to speak with him, let alone go with you to fight against the rogues.” You laid back down and cuddled your blanket.

“Have we met? I always have a plan.” Tony stood up. “You’ll be okay on your own?”

“Have we met?” You copied him and Tony rolled his eyes.

“Brat.”

“Old man.”

“I’m running away!” Tony called out as he walked to the elevator.

“See you in a few hours.” You closed your eyes, and let sleep take over.

“I wish I could go with you. We haven’t been to Germany in so long.” You sat on a workshop bench as your dad finished tweaking the web shooters for Spider-Man’s new suit.

“As soon as everything is calm again, we’ll have a vacation wherever you want. Just us, I promise. It has been too long since we’ve spent time together without work getting in the way.” You could hear the guilt in your dad’s voice and you smiled sympathetically at him.

“I know you’ll make it right, Dad. You always do.”

~~~

Before you knew it, your dad and the remaining team members were off to Germany for the fight against the rogues. Happy stayed behind, which you said was completely unnecessary, per your dad’s request. Just in case, he had said. He’ll only be a call away. And it’s a good thing he did.

———

“Happy?” You groaned and held your phone to your ear. “I think I need the hospital.” That was nearly an hour ago. Now, you laid in a stretcher, being wheeled to the operating room, as Happy waited in the lobby the emergency room. Your stomach had been aching all day and it got worse as the day progressed.

“Sounds like appendicitis. We’ll need to remove her appendix as soon as possible.” The rest of the conversation faded into the background, as did the preparation for your surgery.

“Alright, Miss Stark.” The surgeon spoke as she administered the anesthesia. “Count down from five for me. Can you do that?”

“Five...” Your eyes closed. “Four... three...” And you slipped into darkness again.

(In the waiting room...)

“Guess it’s a good thing you stayed behind.” Happy held his phone against his ear, Pepper speaking on the other end of the line. “How is she?”

“Surgery should be finishing up soon. I’ll call you again when I’ve seen her. I’m sure she’d appreciate seeing you when she’s home.” Happy glanced at the door, anxious to see your surgeon again.

“The minute she’s ready for visitors, I’ll be there.” Muffled voices in the background. “Keep me posted, please? I have to go.”

“I will. Bye, Pepper.” The two exchanged goodbyes just in time for the surgeon to walk over.

“Mr. Hogan? Miss Stark is waking up. I’ll walk you to her room.”

“Hey, kid.” Happy spoke quietly and took a seat in the chair beside your bed.

“Happy...” You smiled and struggled to keep your eyes half open. “You’re here.”

“Where else would I be?” Happy could see the gears in your brain working after the question.

“Dunno. Just happy you’re here.” You giggled tiredly. “Happy that Happy’s here. Happy, happy, happy.” Your voice trailed to a whisper and you were quiet for a minute. “Happy?”

“Yes, Y/N?” You turned to face Happy, and his eyes met yours.

“Thank you. For always being here for me.”

“Always will be, Y/N/N.“ Happy watched as your eyes closed, the smile still on your face.

“Like a family. You’re my family, Hap. And I love you.” It was Happy’s turn to smile, and he leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“I love you too, kid.” He hoped you heard him before you fell asleep.

-One Time He Was There-

“Peter!” You laughed as the brunette led (dragged) you through the hall of his apartment building, and you looked at the doors you passed on the way to his. “Slow down, I’m going to trip!”

“I’ll catch you.” Peter replied but slowed down. “Sorry, I’m just excited.”

“For pizza at your aunt’s?” You stopped walking and Peter nodded. The slight twitch of Peter’s eye didn’t go unnoticed- his nervous tic. What can you say? Natasha trained you well.

Happy had dropped you off at the Parker’s apartment last night, giving you an excuse about some business trip him, Pepper, and your dad had planned over the weekend. You insisted you could stay home alone, but when Tony mentioned staying with Peter, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to spend time with your best friend. You two had spent all of the day together, Peter showing you around the city Spider-Man style. Holding onto Peter while he swung across the city was your favorite way to travel now.

After the battle in Germany, the team had all gone separate ways. The loss was hard on both you and your father, and the addition of Peter to your life (and Pepper rejoining) made everything easier. You quickly became friends with the teen, grateful to have someone your age to spend time with. And he was ridiculously attractive, not that you’d say it out loud. After all the time you two had talked and spent together, you grew close to Peter and him to you. And for him right now, that was a curse.

“Are you hiding something from me, Peter?” You asked.

“Absolutely not. I wouldn’t hide anything from you. I’m a horrible liar, you know that. I start talking a lot, talking really fast-“

“Like you’re doing right now?” Peter scoffed at your question.

“You have no faith in me. Come on, we don’t want to be late.” Peter continued walking and led you to his apartment door.

“It’s okay if we’re late, I doubt May ate all of our dinner by herself.” You walked into the apartment with Peter, confused why the lights were off. You turned the lights on and...

“Surprise!” You jumped from the cheers and grinned at the sight. Your dad, Pepper, Happy, and May stood in the living room wearing party hats. A homemade “Happy Birthday” banner hung in the living room, and there were containers of your favorite takeout and a birthday cake on the coffee table.

“Oh, my God.” You looked around the room. “Guys.” You whispered and your eyes watered as you turned to Peter. “This is why we spent the day in the city?”

“Had to keep you outside so they could get everything set up.” You hugged Peter tight, and Peter gladly returned the hug. “It was all your dad’s idea. He wanted to surprise you for your birthday.” Peter spoke softly as he rubbed your back. You pulled away after a moment and walked to your dad.

“You did all this for me?” Your bottom lip trembled as you blinked back tears.

“Of course I did, Y/N. You’re my daughter, my heart. You deserve the best, this is the least I could do.” Your dad opened his arms and you flung yourself into his arms. “I don’t have the best track record of being here when you need me. But I promise I’ll do better. Be the dad you deserve.” You let out a muffled sob, your face buried in your dad’s shirt.

“Please, just more days like today.” You whispered and Tony nodded, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. You stepped away after a minute and wiped your eyes. “Thank you all so much. I’ll cry all over the rest of you later.” Laughter sounded through the room as you stood by your dad’s side.

“We have plenty of time, Y/N. Now, let’s eat dinner. I nearly had to lock Tony outside to keep him from eating the cake.” Pepper said and walked to the living room, everyone but your dad following.

“Dad? Come on.” Your dad looked nervous and you started to question him, until Pepper yelled.

“Anthony Edward Stark, did you-?!”

“Gotta run!” You laughed as Pepper reprimanded Tony, and you sat on the couch with Peter and May. Maybe your family wasn’t conventional, and maybe your dad was busier than most. But when he was there, you were the happiest you could be, and you wouldn’t trade him for the world. Even when he stole a slice of your birthday cake before you could. Punk.

Taglist: @daughter-of-stark @agent-barnes40 @spideygirl2003 @ditttiii @missmulti @5aftermidnight ❤ Taglist and requests are open! Hope you guys enjoyed this because I loved it

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music-in-my-veins14 · 8 months ago

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In the bedroom down the hall We went to battle every evening after dinner I thought I knew some way that I'd get through to you Remember?

#In The Bedroom Down The Hall #Dear Evan Hansen #Musical #Lyrics

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detectivejay-chuckles-halstead · 4 years ago

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30 Days // Jay Halstead x Reader // Pt 3:6

Description: 30 Drabbles of Jay and Reader’s life together

Words: 2385

Warnings: Canonical Violence, FLUFF

Pairing: Jay x Reader

A/N: The third installment. I am simultaneously working on this, a new upcoming long fic, and requests. Not to mention I get to go back to work for the first time in 6 weeks (YAY!) So my posting may be out of wack, or only maybe once or twice a week. Hope you all enjoy!

Doing Something Together

“Why do you always insist that you can beat me?” Jay asked as the two of you walked into the firing range. Yes, your boyfriend had been an expert marksman as a Ranger, worked as Intelligence’s sniper when needed. That didn’t mean that one of these days you wouldn’t beat him when it came to target practice.

“Because one day, someday, it’s going to happen. And today is going to be that day,” you answered with a smile, Jay just shaking his head with a laugh. It was like this every time the two of you went to renew your certification for work.

It didn’t take long to sign in, being sent to your respective areas. You both put on the protective eye-wear and earmuffs. As the targets were sent back, you took out your gun and took a wide stance. One clip was all that you were firing that day.

“You may begin,” the evaluator stated, the two of you firing your guns multiple times until no bullets were left. You holstered at that point, taking the earmuffs off as you looked at Jay with a smile on your face. This had to be it, right? This was going to be your day! The targets were brought up for evaluation

Most of your hits were along the 8 and 9 marks just to the left of the silhouette. When you looked at Jay’s target, at first you thought it was a joke. There was no way he only hit the target once dead center. Until you took a look at it again, realizing he’d hit the same spot multiple times.

“Good job. We will see you guys back next year,” the evaluator then told you, writing down his comments before walking away.

“One day, babe,” he assured you as you pouted.

“Maybe next time, I just need to distract you,” you suggested, walking away from him with a sway to your hips.

In Formal Wear

Voight had more or less ordered the team to go to this fundraiser that the CPD was hosting. Not that you minded, but you knew Jay hated these events. He said he felt paraded around. Which definitely wasn’t a lie, though none of you had a choice. If Voight said to jump, the answer would be ‘how high, sir?’

“Stop fussing with your tie,” you scolded for the fifth time since the two of you had arrived, swatting his hands away to fix the fabric. He huffed, letting you do your thing as he looked around the room. “We’ll be here an hour, two tops.”

“I will complain the entire time,” he assured you with a smirk, getting a chuckle from you. “You look gorgeous by the way.”

He’d been left speechless when you’d walked out of the bedroom in the black, low cut, tulle gown. Not like you saved it for special occasions or anything. You realized that Jay had never seen you dressed up like that before. And you’d never seen him in such a crisp, form-fitting suit before.

“If you behave, maybe I’ll even let you take it off me,” you whispered as you leaned in, hands pressed to his chest. The glimmer of hope in his eyes was enough for there to be an understanding. All he had to do was put up with the event. That was all.

A waiter walked around, Jay grabbing two champagne glasses off the tray like a pro. You couldn’t help but lean into him slightly as the two of you walked around the room, mingling with all the important names. As much as you loved the dress, you hated the heels.

“Don’t you two look like a handsome couple,” Voight mentioned as you neared the huddled group of Intelligence officers. You couldn’t help the blush forming across your cheeks.

“Thank you, Serge,” Jay said softly as Kim and Vanessa pulled you into their conversation. Your eyes would meet Jay’s occasionally, wanting to just get lost in him until one of the other women would pull you back. Maybe you needed to go to these events more often.

Dancing

“Why does this song sound so familiar?” you asked Jay as the two of you were cooking dinner, the tune on the radio bringing back clouded memories that you couldn’t quite place.

“Really?” he countered, looking a bit hurt. Though you weren’t sure why. “Don’t you remember this was the song that was playing at Molly’s the first time we kissed.”

“How could I forget that?” You weren’t sure how to answer your own question, feeling crappy about not remembering. But you were a bit surprised that Jay remembered. There was no doubt that you would have remembered if you hadn’t been as drunk as you were that night.

“Dance with me?” he asked, holding his hand out for you. There wasn’t even a second of hesitation as you took his hand, letting him pull you close to him before the two of you began gently swaying in the kitchen. He looked at you with complete love and adoration -- a look nobody else had ever given you before.

It felt right, being with Jay. This moment was the moment you realized that he was the one for you. He was the one that you’d never let go. The one that you'd move Heaven and Hell for. You and Jay were endgame. You’d never been more sure about anything in your life.

In Battle Side-by-Side

The case you’d all been working on for the better part of a week --the one that had already made most of the team shed sweat, blood, and tears -- had led you all to an abandoned factory on the south-side of Chicago. Everybody’s cars were huddled in a parking lot a block away, out of sight of the building to keep from blowing the whole operation. The team stood together as Voight spoke.

“We bring this guy in dead or alive. Got it?” Everybody agreed with a ‘yes Serge.’ “Halstead, you and Y/L/N take the north entrance. Rojas and Atwater take the south entrance. Ruzek, you’re going to cover the north entrance in your vehicle. Burgess, you and me with the south. Nobody goes in or out once we start this except us.”

Jay helped you secure your vest over your shirt before grabbing his gun out of the trunk. His pistol remained holstered on his thigh. As much as you loved your job, it was moments like these that made you hate it. More like, you hated working in the same unit as your boyfriend. If things went south...you didn’t let yourself think of it, Jay pulling you out of your thoughts with a smile, handing you your own gun.

“I love you,” he told you softly, squeezing your free hand. You sighed, looking at him as everybody got ready.

“I love you too.”

It was a go. You and Jay walked to the north entrance, your boyfriend in front of you as your hand rested on his shoulder, following right on his heels. Why a lone offender would be hiding out in an abandoned factory was the real question you were asking yourself, but you didn’t mention it to anybody else. As long as you got this guy, that’s all that mattered.

The two of you silently breached the door, moving slowly and methodically. You’d done this a thousand times before, no different. He came to a T in the hallway, motioning for you to go left. There was no hesitation as you stepped to the side of him, hugging the wall as you went down the hallway while he walked the other direction.

The only sound you could hear was the sound of your breath and your heart beating in your ears. The further you got away from Jay, the less you were able to hear his footsteps until they disappeared. You were on edge, creeping down this hall, taking turn after turn. Was this a factory or a maze? The second you heard any type of movement, you froze in place before slowly looking around.

It was a bit of a scare when you found yourself looking down the barrel of a gun, releasing your breath when you realized it was Jay. The look on his face matched yours. Confusion.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” he said softly, getting you to nod in agreement as you continued down the new hallway. Eventually, the hall opened up into a large room. As you looked around, you noticed Vanessa and Kevin at the other end, about twenty-yards ahead of you. As far as you knew, nobody had seen an entrance to a second floor, realizing you missed something. There was no second floor, but there was clearly a window to the right as well as a door.

“Jay,” you whispered, motioning for him to look. As soon as he started to turn his head, you heard clattering.

“Flash grenade!” he called out, pulling you to the ground with him, trying to shield you from the flash.

Your ears were ringing, feeling Jay’s body weight on you as you tried to assess what was going on. Shots were the next thing you heard, seeming to miss everything besides the walls. It sounded like it was only coming from one gun, which meant your offender was indeed working alone.

“Stay down,” Jay told you softly. “Don’t key your radio.” Fear flooded over you. There’d only be one reason he’d tell you not to key your radio.

“You think there’s a bomb.” There was no question about it. That’s exactly what Jay was thinking. “Vanessa and Kevin!”

“Right now, we have to move,” he interjected, getting off you so that you could crouch. There was nowhere to take cover. No boxes, no equipment. The room was empty. The only way to get out was the way you came. The two of you looked over at the other pair who seemed to have the same idea.

“Jay, we leave, this guy will be in the wind,” you snapped as he grabbed your arm, ready to drag you out of that building. “Trust me.”

He hesitated before nodding, the two of you pressing against the wall before moving quickly towards the corner. Kevin and Vanessa seemed to get the memo, mimicking your movements. The other pair waited, not daring to cross in front of the window as the offender stopped firing. Most likely out of confusion due to there being no active targets he would be able to see.

Jay nodded at you as you busted in the door before firing a single shot at the offender, the man falling to the ground. Quickly, you kicked his gun away from his reach, though you knew it wasn’t necessary. A single headshot. Kneeling down, you felt for a carotid pulse, feeling nothing. He was dead.

You sat down next to him, elbows on your knees as you rested your head in your hands. It was over. It was finally over. Nobody keyed their radios still, not until the bomb squad got there to do a search of the building to ensure there weren’t any extra surprises.

“Nice work,” Voight told you when you finally exited the building. It didn’t feel like good work. You knew the order was to bring him in dead or alive...but never did you think it would be your gun that killed the man -- your shot, your decision.

“Let’s go get this paperwork done, then go home,” Jay suggested softly, kissing your temple as you silently agreed.

On A Birthday

“You know, all I want to do is just relax at home with you for my birthday,” Jay told you as you walked out of the precinct to the car.

“Okay, promise not to get upset?” You’d waited until he was securely in the passenger seat of your car before you’d asked him. “The guys planned a surprise party that I’m supposed to be taking you to. I told them it was a bad idea, but can you just go for an hour at least to please them?”

“One hour, then just us,” he agreed.

This was the third birthday you’d spent with him, still not getting a clear answer on why he never wanted to celebrate. The first year, you practically had to force a piece of cake into his mouth. He’d opened the present you got him the day after his birthday. The second year went smoother, but he still resisted nearly every idea to actually celebrate. This year though, it wasn’t your doing. You’d finally given in, still forcing him to get a cake at least and always getting him a present. Birthdays were a big deal for you growing up, family always making it a big deal.

You pulled up in front of Molly’s, his arm hooked around your shoulder as you reminded him to ‘act surprised.’ Which he did, smiling as friends came up to wish him a happy birthday. He drank some beer, had some laughs, but as soon as that clock hit the hour mark, he excused himself from the party, ensuring everyone promised they’d keep it going for him.

You followed close behind as the two of you stepped into the cool Chicago night air. When he suddenly stopped, you nearly walked into him before he turned to look at you with a smile, small box in his hand.

“You’re the one who’s supposed to be getting presents today, silly,” you reminded him before he kissed you.

“I know, but I think you deserve this,” he countered, flipping the top of the box open to reveal an engagement ring, shock evident on your face. “You know I don’t really like celebrating my birthday. My mom was the only one who ever made a big deal of it, and after she died, I didn’t really find a reason to celebrate. Then, I spent two birthdays in Afghanistan...I was going to wait to do this, but I wanted a reason to be able to be happy on this day again. You’ve tried so hard the past few years...my mom,” he sighed softly, “she would have loved you. And she would have told me to keep you forever. So, Y/N...Will you marry me?”

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #fanfiction

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butterbuni · 3 years ago

Text

♥ Prologue ♥

Prologue of Disguise, a Kaminari x Fem Reader

"Hello my dear viewers! Thank you for joining my stream. If your new here thanks for coming. If your one of my regulars welcome back, you know the drill." I looked up at my left monitor watching the numbers of watchers rise as well as the number of donations.

"We are just waiting for one more guest! LightningMcSpark101 he is always late." I rolled my eyes playfully knowing he would be watching the video later when I upload it. My discord rang and I quickly answered it, "Dude you are so late!! The viewers were waiting!" I said into my mic.

"Aw man, I was so sure I was on time this time!" I heard him say from the other end. "Alright alright, all is forgiven! Hurry up and let's get this started. I only have 2 hours today!"

"Sure thing dude! I am so beating you this time!"

"In your dreams Sparky!"

"It's on G/N (Gamertag name)"

I smirked at my screen and took hold of my controller pressing play on the newest battle game that I was sent to try and review.

The screen lit up as it announced my ultimate victory. "Haha! In your face Sparky!! I win once again!"

"Awe man!!! I was so sure I was going to win this time!! You defeated me dude how is that even possible!!!" he exclaimed from his end.

"Ha, you thought. Thanks for helping me show off this game!" I looked over to my left monitor and saw my view had only gained as well as the occasional donation, "I hope you guys enjoyed my demonstration as much as I did! Make sure to go out and buy this amazing game! It's a lot of fun to play especially with friends maybe one of you may get lucky and I would play with you next time. Unfortunately, it is time for me to log off however same time next week. What do you say Sparky?"

"You bet!"

"Bye guys!" I said as I waved goodbye with one hand and clicked end stream. I let out a sigh of relief. That was so much fun. "Sparky you do not know how much fun that was!"

"I am so glad you let me try it out with you! Hey, when are you going to let me see your face you always wear that face mask. I only see half of you!"

"I will let you see my face when pigs fly!" I said scratching the side of my face avoiding not wanting to give him a straight answer. He asks this every single time we go on live together. "Plus it's not like I've seen your face either for all I know you are a 40-year-old man, but you don't sound a day over 15," I said cheerfully.

"Oh wow thanks." he said sarcastically, "I would show you my sexy awesome face but I don't think you would be able to resist me."

"Ha, you wi-"

The alarm on my phone went off stopping all conversation, "Oop looks like my time has come! See ya later dude!" I said quickly changing tabs to end our call. "Aw, c'mon just a little longer. I'll promise I'll be good."

"Sorry, sparky you know the drill I really need to go now," I said hastily wanting... no needing to end the call.

I heard him sigh from the other end. My cursor hovered over the end call button impatiently. My eyes kept darting to my bedroom door. He was taking too long and I didn't want to end without saying goodbye

"I'll catch ya next time G/N. Next time I promise to beat you in whatever game we play."

"Don't hold your breath," I laughed and clicked the end call button. Once it ended, I quickly tore off my face mask and took off my headset. I pulled out a medium-sized box from beneath my desk and put both of them in.

I quickly took out the game cd and put it back into its packaging. I pulled out a bigger box from beneath my desk that had various other games I've collected and put the game in. I sighed, "I wish I didn't have to live like this." Almost as soon as I closed both boxes and put them away, there was a knock on my door.

Fuck. Already?

"One moment!" I called out. Why why why now. I went into my walk-in closet and quickly changed into clothes that my parents deemed suitable for walking around the house. There was another knock at the door, "I'm coming!" I fixed my hair and opened the door quickly revealing my butler. He wore a simple black and white suit with a handkerchief hanging off his arm and as usual his gray hair was slicked back.

"Hello Bertrum," I said standing up as straight as possible.

"Hello ma'am your parents are waiting for you downstairs. Dinner today is coffee-rubbed steak with brussels sprout salad." He bowed down to me.

Great just my luck. I rolled my eyes just before Bertrum rose from his position. "How wonderful I will be down in a second."

He nodded and went on his way. I shut my door closed once he left. With my back against the wall, I slide down to the ground. I wish we could have normal food for one. I would kill for a hamburger right about now.

I got up from the floor and dusted myself off. I might as well get this over with. The sooner I get there the sooner I can leave.

I walked over to my vanity mirror making sure all my 'imperfections' were perfect in the eyes of my parents.

Once I felt ready I walked out of my bedroom making sure to be extra slow about it. I walked through the halls of our family portraits and statues. I've walked this same path for years and each time I still don't feel like I belong.

Every single one of the pictures had a family member who did something great with their lives. Some went on to be some of the greatest support items manufactures. Some became politicians. Some even became costume developers. But here I was, some random teenager who just happened to be born in a family with everything.

I walked down our spiral stairs my hand running down the banister. Well, everything except parents with the capability of love and care.

I walked into the family dining room to see the long table completely dressed in fancy dishes. Both my mom and dad weren't looking at each other. Mother was typing away at something on her laptop and Father was talking to someone on the phone.

I don't even know why they require me here anymore when they wouldn't even pay attention to me.

"Hello Mother. Hello Father." I said flatly announcing myself in. "Hello Y/N," they said without even glancing at me.

I sighed. Of course, they wouldn't even look at me. I am sure they have even forgotten how I looked considering I don't even remember the last time they looked at me for more than 10 seconds.

I took my seat at the far end of the table to wait for the maids to deliver the food.

The dining hall instantly fell into silence with nothing but the clacking of Mother's keyboard and the low gruff talking of Father on his phone. It was unbearable.

Mother finally spoke to me as the maids came into the room with our dinner.

"We have decided where you will be going for high school." She spoke, "With your quirk, we decided that you will go to U.A and join their support course."

"But mother I was planning on becoming a hero like the rest of my friends," I spoke up as a maid dropped my dish in front of me.

She scoffed at me, "I can see why the Todoroki family would want their son to be in the hero course but I don't know why the Yaoyorozu family would let their daughter partake in such a trivial career."

"Mother heroes have a lot of importance in our society! Without them, the world would spiral into chaos. Plus the support course won't even have people to sell their inventions."

"Support for quirks will always be in business with or without the heroes. The heroes are the cause of chaos. They refuse to properly dispose of villains, making our society go into a cycle of a hero-catching villain only for the villain to escape and wreak more havoc. If they would make an example of one of those good for nothing bastards, the people in our society wouldn't have the nerve to stand against heroes."

"But Mother that is such a horrible-" I started to say looking at Mother in disbelief.

"I know you are not talking back to me right now!" she raised her voice at me slamming her fork down on the table.

"No Mother," I said looking down at the plate of food.

"Good."

It was silent once again. Father didn't even bother trying to come to my side and I didn't even bother standing up for myself.

I've learned the hard way that when something is asked of me, I have to do it. Or else.

I picked up my fork and picked at my food. I wasn't even that hungry plus it wasn't like brussel sprouts and steak were very appealing.

"Aren't you eating Y/N?," Father said turning off his phone and picking up his own fork to eat. He only said that to me so he could still pretend to be that caring father he once was in his only little fantasies.

"I just don't have the appetite right now," I said dejectedly. "You should eat your food. Do you know how many kids are starving?" Mother said.

"Maybe you should feed them this nasty stuff," I mumbled.

"I didn't quite hear what you said. Could you repeat that for me?" Mother's eyebrow twitched as she gripped the fork in her hand tightly. I didn't think she could hear me. "I just think we should distribute our wealth to help people less fortunate. People could stop going home hungry," I said dropping my fork down. If she wanted to talk about starving people we can talk about starving people.

"It is not our fault that they made bad choices in their lifetime and ended up poor. Why should we share what we worked hard to get." She said not sparing a glance at me.

I rolled my eyes once she paid more attention to her food than me. Every time I try to have this conversation with her she shuts me down with her hypocritical ass. I stared at her as she ate her food. Who is she to talk about hard work when she worked her way up into my father's pants. The only hard thing she's probably ever done up till now was picking a way how to seduce him.

After a considerable amount of time of pushing my food around my plate the maids came and whisked away our plates. I gave them my thanks. Mother and Father however just picked up their laptop and phones and excused themselves from the table leaving me by my lonesome.

I sighed. Welcome to the life of L/N Y/N.

----------------

Once my parents were out of sight I rushed up the stairs and past the halls filled with everything my family wanted me to be and into my bedroom. The one place in this house that I felt comfortable. The one place in this big mansion that felt like home.

I locked the bedroom door and quickly logged into my computer. I looked at the number of donations I received from today's stream. I let out a yell of excitement seeing the 2000$ on the screen. A whole 500 more than last time.

I could do more with this money. I pulled up a list of local poverty fundraisers. If Mother and Father won't do anything, I will.

I donated the money equally between the topmost trusted charities. As soon as I clicked the submit button for each I felt satisfied. Even if it wasn't much, the money I made off my twitch account was what kept me motivated to keep going. People out there were suffering and people like my parents were sitting down and letting it happen when they could be doing something about it.

I've thought about wiring money from my parents' accounts but I'll just get myself in trouble so two years ago I started live streaming. When I started earning money from it, I realized I could be making a difference with it.

I sighed as I leaned back in my chair. Two years ago I wouldn't have dreamed of going against my parents' wishes but here I am. Created my own monitors from scratch with the help of my quirk and Momo making the parts. I let out a sad laugh. I even went as far as to covering half my face just so I won't be recognized by anyone.

Just as I spun in my chair looking at my ceiling, my phone buzzed on my table. My head perked up looking at it. Who could be texting me at this time?

I picked up my phone seeing it was a discord notification from Sparky. I smiled softly at my phone. It's like he always knew when I was down in the dumps. I may not know who he is behind that screen but he has quickly become my best friend. ~~~~ Y/N Character Sheet

#bnha #bnha reader insert #bnhareader #bnha x reader #bnha x you #bnha x y/n #reader insert #reader #mha #my hero academia #mha reader #mha reader insert #bnha kaminari #bnha kami #denki x you #you x denki #kaminari denki #denki kaminari #kaminari x reader

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hanniiesuckle17 · 5 years ago

Text

The Modern Wife

HAN JISUNG REGENCY AU

A/n: Literally I’ve been so obsessed with the idea of this I had to mess up my schedule and write this. Also, omg will you look at that edit job??? I have never used photoshop in my life and look at that!!! Also special shoutout to Celi @poeticallyspaghetti for helping me so much with this

See how many Austen quotes you can spot!

Warnings: Slight cursing, mention of violence

Word Count: 11.5k

Summary: Miss Y/n L/n is the talk of the town. She is one of four gorgeous sisters. Her father is a successful politician who travels frequently back and forth to London. She is beautiful, poised, and absolutely unobtainable. Every man in town had been asking for her hand, all except a certain Colonel. Things are turned upside down when Miss L/n is forced into an engagement.

Genre: history!au, enemies to lovers!au, regency!au, historical!au, pride, and prejudice!au

“OW! Not so tight, Harry!” I screamed holding onto my bedposts as my maid and friend, Harriet pulled the laces tight on my corset. “Harry, are you trying to kill me?” I said with a laugh. The small thin plank of wood in the boning pressed hard against my chest and pushed up my breasts as high as they would go for no reason other than to put them on display.

Ironic that it was unseemly to show my ankle but my cleavage could parade about the world openly. For the next forty minutes, Harriet proceeded to help me get dressed. The pale yellow frock complimented my skin nicely. Harriet always knew what I looked best in. She sat me down at my vanity while she fixed my hair, untwisted the fabric that tied my curls. Before she could finish my eyes glimpsed movement outside my window.

“Cecilia!”

Bolting up from the chair I ran down the hall, fabric billowing behind me. I rushed passed several servants as I made my way down the sunlit passageway. “Miss Y/n,” our butler, Mr. Carson, exclaimed as I nearly ran him over. Thankfully he did not drop the glassware on his tray. “I’m sorry, Carson!” “Don’t worry about it, my lady.”

With a bright smile, I burst through the large entryway doors and was met by a gracious morning breeze, A carriage had pulled up in the driveway and a woman a few years older than me was exiting the cab with the help of a footman.

“Cecilia! You’re home!”

“Y/n!”

Wrapping my arms around my elder sister I gave her the biggest hug imaginable. The sound of our laughter could most likely be heard from anywhere on the grounds. I was once again reunited with my sister. She had not been gone but a few months since her last visit, but it felt like ages to me.

“I should hope I get the same welcoming as my wife,” Turning away, I saw my sister’s husband stepping out of the carriage, a kind smile on his face. “Of course, Chan. I could never forget my brother in law.” He gently gave me a hug before returning me back to my sister.

“Is father home?” I shook my head, leading my sister arm in arm into the house. “No, he has yet to return from London.” She scoffed and held my hand tighter. “But, it is the beginning of spring! How can he miss your birthday?” Carson greeted Cecilia and Chan with a warm welcome before we continued to the parlor.

“Do not worry. Papa said he would return in the next few days in time for the ball on Saturday. Tomorrow we girls will simply have to celebrate my nineteenth birthday together.” Chan left us to talk while he helped tried to help Carson and the footmen with the bags, much to Carson’s displeasure. Chan never could really get used to having servants do things for him.

“Where are Charlotte and Emma?” Cecilia was referring to our two younger sisters. Charlotte had turned sixteen this year and little Emma was now ten. “They are in lessons right now. Papa is still positively adamant we are all educated to the highest degree.” “Of course, he is.”

My sister filled me in on everything that had happened in Dover in the past few months. She and Chan had moved there after they got married, much against father’s will. “Oh, Chan got a letter before we left. He said the Colonel was in London and met up with father. He might come back to Surrey for the spring.”

Cecilia laughed as disdain took over my face. “Wonderful. There go my hopes of a lovely spring.” “He isn’t that bad, Y/n.” The Colonel was around Cecilia’s age, in his very early twenties. He was the one who introduced Chan to Cecilia. Chan had served in his infantry and had grown quite close to the young officer.

Father adored the Colonel. Anytime the Colonel returned to Surrey, Papa would insist on us inviting him to our residence. Everyone loved the Colonel. He was a brave man who had done his country proud in the war, taking over his father’s position in the midst of battle after he tragically perished. There was just something about him that made me hate him. He walked around like he was entitled to everything around him.

“Does that mean he’ll be returning with father?” Cecilia nodded as her husband entered the room. “Who?” Chan asked sitting across from us. “Colonel Han,” Chan nodded with a soft smile on his face, adjusting his jacket. “I assume so. Miss Y/n why are you asking about him? If my memory serves me correctly, the last time he was here you called him ‘Death’s head on a broomstick’,”

“Well, it was rightly deserved. I’m simply asking because I would like to know when to board up Whitewater so that he simply can’t get in.”

Cecilia’s bright blue eyes crinkled as she laughed. Running footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. In raced two girls who practically jumped on Cecilia. “Cecilia, we missed you!” Emma sang in her soft voice. Charlotte went and gave Chan a gentle hug as well.

The next day we celebrated my birthday. Chan and Cecilia got me a lovely gift, a gorgeous leather-bound sketchbook. I knew there was no way they could possibly afford something of such quality, but Cecilia insisted I take it. Carson and the staff celebrated with us making and sharing a beautiful cake. The next two days went by quickly. Chan worked on his music, the girls continued their studies, and Cecilia and I spent the time walking the grounds and gossiping about anything and everything, with Harriet often joining us

On Thursday afternoon, Charlotte and I were strolling near the banks of the creek, for which our estate was named. The clear water quickly rushed along making almost a soft song with the wind in the trees. Soon, we began to grow tired so we headed back to Whitewater.

As we reached the estate, my eyes were drawn to a carriage and a horse stationed outside. No one was expecting visitors so it must mean father was home. Charlotte and I raced into the house, grins filling our faces.

“Papa! Are you home?” I called out. Charlotte heard voices in the parlor, so we both ventured into the sitting room. “There are the rest of my beautiful daughters!” He exclaimed, getting up and wrapping his arms around us. It felt so good to have my father’s arms wrapped around me again. His familiar smell of burning wood and lavender.

He pulled away and kissed each of our cheeks. “Girls, you remember Colonel Han Jisung.” I tried to hide the grimace on my face but failed. Of course. That’s whose horse was out front. My eyes fell on the man standing near the window. He wore a dark navy overcoat and pristine black boots. While his somewhat smaller and shorter than some of the other military men I had met in the past, there was no doubt about the way he commanded the room. His shaggy brown hair was tousled from the ride back to Surrey.

His dark eyes were hidden as he bowed and took Charlotte’s hand. A proper way to greet a lady. “Yes, unfortunately, I do remember,” I said rolling my eyes. “Believe me, feelings are the same Miss L/n.” The Colonel said giving me a curt bow. Rolling my eyes, I sat down next to Cecilia, who nudged me, giving me a look.

“Papa, how was London?” Charlotte asked happily. Father smiled and sat back down near the fireplace. Mr. Han remained standing near where Chan was sitting. “Perfectly fine. Everything is well. It seems Napoleon’s advances in England have stopped for the time being. Also, I met quite an intriguing man and invited him to have dinner with us this evening.”

“Is he handsome, Father?” Charlotte asked. “Charlotte, do not ask such things.” Cecilia scolded, gently pushing our sister back in her seat. “I should think so. Colonel, you are welcome to join us for supper as well.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“You do most days anyway,” I muttered under my breath.

Ignoring the look he sent my way I turned back to father. “Nonsense! You shall join us!” The hour seemed to drag on. Father and Mr.Han seemed to only talk about the war. Papa only paused to ask Cecilia and Chan about Dover and Chan’s music. To be fair he only asked because Cecilia forced him to be civil with Chan about his work.

Soon, The Colonel decided he should return to his estate and unpack his things. “Thank you for your time. The visit was lovely.” He said graciously. Giving everyone a short goodbye, he mounted his horse and made the travel to Ruxfield Manor a few miles to the west of Whitewater.

“That was an eventful visit,” Cecilia said wrapping her arm in mine.

“It was a delightful visit-perfect in being much too short.”

She laughed at my comment as the two of us climbed the stairs to get ready for dinner in a few hours. Harriet helped me change for dinner and pinned up my hair leaving a few twisting strands loose framing my face. “Carson told me your father and his guests are already in the sitting room,” I sighed picking up a handheld mirror as she clasped a necklace around my neck.

“Well, then we should join them.” I stood up, smoothing the dark green fabric of the dress Harriet had picked out. As I exited my bedroom, the door next to me opened as well to reveal my sister and her husband dressed for dinner. As we approached the parlor, Carson opened the door and announced us.

“Miss Y/n and Mr. and Mrs. Bang.”

All heads turned towards us as we entered the room. Two men stood up at the announcement. One was the Colonel, purely out of respect for the women of the household. His eyes never even moved to the door. The other man wore a dark almost velvet-like coat and he carried himself with high prestige.

He had deep brown eyes and sharp features. “My darling girls,” Father exclaimed before setting down his glass of sherry. He came and kissed both of our cheeks. “Father,” I said, latching onto his arm. He led us over to the men and our sisters.

“Mr. Han,” I said trying not to roll my eyes. He gave me a curt nod and then returned to his seat. “Y/n play nice,” Papa said jokingly. “I am, Papa!”

“Miss Y/n,” The other man said bowing before me. I couldn’t help but give him a questioning look as he took my hand and placed a soft and chaste kiss on my skin. “Oh, and to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

“Angel, this is Mr. Lee. He is a barrister in London. Minho, this is my second eldest daughter.” Mr. Lee stood up straight and looked me over with a gentle, but mischievous smile. “The pleasure is all mine. Your father has told me so much about you.”

“Oh has he now! All good things I hope!”

“You can you tell the difference?” The Colonel mumbled, taking a sip of his drink.

“Oh please, you are hardly agreeable yourself.”

“I do not wish people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of being forced into casual pleasantries.”

Thankfully, Carson entered the room, saving the Colonel and myself from getting into yet another altercation. “Dinner is ready to be served in the dining room.” Mr. Han scoffed when Minho bowed once again and offered me his arm. The eight of us ventured into the dining room where our new light bulbs brightened up the space from the ceiling. Father was obsessed with every new invention.

Papa took his place at the head of the table, the girls on either side of him. Cecilia sat across from her husband and the Colonel was seated next to her and across from me. Mr. Lee was seated at the other end of the table.

Polite conversation was heard throughout dinner. The girls discussed their studies with father, who then bragged about our education to Mr. Lee. Dinner was lovely as always. Mr. Lee was beyond courteous and thanked Carson and the staff for the meal. We engaged in polite conversation. Mr. Lee seemed to pride himself in small talk because the conversation never got any bigger. “You know green is my favorite color. It is almost as if you wore that dress to see me smile.”

To be frank he was quite boring. He seemed no different than the other men I had met except for the fact he seemed fascinated by the cats on his estate. Cecilia sent me a pitiful glance and I did my best to hide my expression from Father.

“Doori is just so mischievous. And Soongi! You would love Soongi!” Cecilia stifled a laugh as I downed the rest of the wine in my glass. I was too preoccupied forcing the alcohol down my throat that I didn’t notice Mr. Han’s soft laughter at my struggle with Mr. Lee.

“Since we are all here and getting along so well, I would like to say something,” Father announced to the room. Carson ushered the footmen out of the room and back to the kitchen before turning back to Father at full attention. Every eye at the table was on Papa.

“After much discussion and thought, I have decided that it is time for Y/n to be married.”

All eyes turned to me. I froze and looked around the table. Excuse me? When did my father talk to me about this? He was just marrying me off to some random noble?

“Mr. Lee and I have agreed. We would like to announce an engagement by the end of the summer.”

This time all eyes turned to Mr. Lee at the other end of the table. “What?” Cecilia says breaking the silence that had lasted for much too long. I could do nothing but stare at the table. There were too many emotions flying around and none of them were particularly good let alone ladylike. Everyone, even the Colonel looked between my father and Mr. Lee with widened eyes. Chan watched his wife struggling to comprehend my fate. The girls stared at me looking for an answer. I felt the Colonel’s stare like a weight, when I looked up he was looking anywhere except my face. He let out a hefty sigh with an emotionless expression as he soon became fascinated with the chandelier.

“Did you think to ask me how I felt?” Papa looked at me, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. “I didn’t think you would much care,” All of my sisters seemed shocked at his words. Father had always been so set on us making our own decisions. He always wanted us to be happy, especially after our mother had passed.

“Just because Cecilia decided she did not want to marry a noble doesn’t mean you can pass this onto me!” Cecilia looked down at her plate. It was no secret that Papa was outraged at her marriage to Chan. “This has nothing to do with your sister.”

“You are sending me away! Why not just make this punishment even worse? Send me off with the Colonel, make my life completely miserable!”

“Y/n L/n!” Father yelled standing up.

“Father you are at fault here too,” Cecilia said standing up. She rushed over and led me out of the room and up the stairs. When Harriet saw us down the hall she rushed to us and opened the door to my bedroom. “Did you hear, Harry?” You looked at the girl who sadly nodded. Of course, she had heard. People in France had heard the argument between me and Papa. Cecilia helped Harriet calm me down and change before placing a kiss on my forehead and leaving to confer with her husband. Slowly I slipped into a deep sleep hoping to forget the events of this night.

The next afternoon my sister and I strolled through the lanes of Surrey on our way to the dress shop. Cecilia had convinced me to come out and get a new dress for the ball tomorrow night with her. Despite my protests, she and Harriet dragged me out of bed and helped slip by my father’s study and into town.

I had to admit, I was thankful to be away from Whitewater. Walking into the dress shop with my sister on my arm felt freeing. Like I wasn’t about to be engaged to a man I had absolutely no interest in.

Breathing in the smell of the wood and the fabrics put a smile on my face. Cecilia ran over to the rolls of blue fabric. I had missed coming to the seamstress with my older sister. In Dover Chan and Cecilia didn’t have enough money to get a new dress more than once or twice a year, so Cecilia was thrilled to come with me.

“What color do you think you would like?” Cecilia shouted from over her shoulder, pulling out a dress with baby blue fabric and white lace. I shrugged and sorted through the different dresses. “I will wear anything but green. Minho would not stop talking about how I wore his favorite color at dinner.” Cecilia laughed as I brushed passed a light green ensemble without hesitation.

“Why don’t we send you in black since it is going to be your funeral anyway,” Cecilia said throwing a black frock at me. I laughed and returned the dress to the seamstress. “Y/n, what about this?” She handed me a gorgeous red dress that was embroidered with pearls and gold thread.

“I have not worn red since we were little girls. It’s absolutely gorgeous!” The seamstress helped us try on the dresses before we paid for them and changed back. Cecilia laughed as I recounted the conversation with Mr. Lee as we walked out of the shop. I felt uneasy. Like something was off. Looking around I saw several young men from the town walking about and standing near shops but they all seemed to be looking anywhere but me, which was very abnormal.

“Do you think they heard about the engagement? It isn’t even official yet!” Cecilia said, reading my mind. An exasperated sigh left my chest. “Nor will it be. I will marry Lee Minho over my dead body.”

“Oh, Miss Y/n!” a voice called out from across the street.

Looking for the source of the deep voice I found Lee Felix, Colonel Han’s aide. And of course, next to him, was Colonel Han Jisung himself. My sister laughed as the Colonel and I both grimaced. Despite the second protests of the day, Cecilia dragged me over to greet the two soldiers.

Han and Felix gave the two of us military level bows and Felix greeted us happily. “I see you two ladies are enjoying today’s fine weather.” Mr. Han said looking around at the scenery, his hands behind his back and his posture incredibly straight. “Yes, Y/n and I were out shopping for an ensemble for the ball tomorrow.”

Felix’s grin grew three times larger. “I see that!” He said pointing to the folded dresses in our arms. “Oh Colonel, Miss Y/n picked out a red dress! What a coincidence!” Han spared me and the dress in my arms a glance before scoffing and looking at Felix. “What is a coincidence? Do tell,” I said, a smirk falling on my lips. “Jisung was just saying how gorgeous the red roses were at Ruxfield.”

“Ow-” Cecilia nudged my stomach with an innocent grin on her sweet oval face. “Y/n just adores roses! She was sketching them in the garden, just the other day.” Cecilia’s blue eyes sparkled as she nudged me once again. What was she getting at? They were just flowers.

The Colonel looked up at my words, his eyes slightly widening. He quickly recovered and trained his eyes on the ground. “Well, Felix and I have much to attend to. I am sure we shall meet again tomorrow night.” I rolled my eyes as Han mounted his horse, Felix following close behind.

“Come, we must prepare for tomorrow night, given this new information!”

“Cecilia! What new information? Stop pulling on my arm!”

The carriage rumbled to a stop in front of the Hall. My father the girls and I were all in one cab, while Chan and Cecilia rode in a separate carriage. A footman opened the door and helped me down from the cab. He gently took each of my sisters’ hands as they exited as well. The music swelled as we entered the Hall with our father in front of us.

Emma quickly ran off to the table filled with sweets and hour devours, and Charlotte was towed away by her friends. “Miss L/n!” Turning, I saw Mr. Lee pushing his way through the crowd. Wonderful. The last person I wanted to see. Like a leech, Mr. Lee latched himself onto my arm. “Are you quite good at dancing, Miss L/n? I fancy myself quite the dancer. They do all the latest court dances in London you see.”

“If you would excuse me, Mr. Lee, I am quite parched,” I said interrupting the never ending stream of words. “Yes, quite alright. I shall miss every second you are parted from me!” Minho said placing a kiss on my hand. Begrudgingly, I plastered a smile on my face and maneuvered my way through the crowd.

Spotting my sister’s golden brown hair, I moved through the flood of people. Her beautiful baby blue dress stood out against the dark colored suits and dresses around her. She stood next to her husband and another man. “Cecilia, thank goodness.” I heaved out in a sigh. “My dear sister, you look ravishing! Don’t you think so, Mr. Han?” Turning I saw The Colonel dressed in fine navy blue. His eyes drunk me in with a disenchanted expression.

“She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humor at the present to give consequence to young ladies with such ‘modern’ attributes.”

Only to uphold my social presence and reputation did I refrain from slapping him. How could he say something so ghastly right to my face. Before I could fire back Chan interrupted, questioning his friend. “Han, do you plan on joining in the festivities? I certainly plan on bringing my adoring Cecilia onto the dance floor tonight. There is absolutely nothing like dancing after all. It is one of the first refinements of a polished society.” He sighed, rolling his eyes and placing his hands behind his back in a seemingly military sense.

“Certainly, sir; and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished societies of the world. Every savage can dance.” “Not every savage-” Cecilia ventured. “I assure you, Mrs. Bang. Every savage can. Even damn Napoleon, so no I do not think I shall partake in the such an adolescent event.”

The urge to shove his head up his ass grew stronger within me by the second, but I don’t think anything would be able to move past the gargantuan log shoved up there already. “Well, my dearest, would you accompany me onto the dance floor.” Chan said with a bright smile, offering a hand to his wife. Her lace gloved hand slid into his with a smile. Just as they were leaving a voice called out over the sea of guests.

“Miss L/n! Where are you my love? Miss Y/n?” My eyes widened as I saw Minho’s head bobbing through the crowd. “Ah! Miss Y/n! There you are!” He said pointing in my direction.

“Oh lord help me. Quick!” Without thinking I grabbed the nearest coat sleeve and pulled the man out onto the dance floor, a new dance beginning. “What in all hell?” He exclaimed, eyes turning to saucers.

A sigh of relief left my lips as Minho walked right passed my previous location, still looking for me. Music swelled and the couples around me started dancing so I joined in with my partner. My heart skipped a beat when my eyes fell on Mr. Han standing in front of me, gently holding my hand and bowing. I curtsied to him and focused on looking for Mr. Lee in the crowd. Hopefully he wasn’t too close. Absentmindedly I followed the steps of the dance, my palm pressing lightly against the Colonel’s as we moved through the steps and turns of the dance.

Halfway through the song, my eyes followed Mr. Lee as he searched for me into another room. This time a sigh of relief escaped as my focus turned back to the dance. I then became very aware of Mr. Han’s hand on my waist. “Mr. Han, I didn’t realize you could dance.” I jested a smirk playing on my lips. His face remained the same but there was something about his eyes that was different.

“Miss L/n, I said any savage can dance. I am not excluded.”

I was left without a retort. I simply stared at him as he circled and came behind me, one hand on my waist, the other gently holding my outstretched hand. The feeling of his chest against my shoulder was unfamiliar but somehow inviting. He smelled like gun powder and old books. My eyes couldn’t seem to break away from his as we turned and moved with the music.

The entire world seemed to dissolve away and all I could see was how he was looking at me. How he was holding me gently and cautiously, as if I was a butterfly in his palm. He had a softness in his eyes I had never seen before. The kind that showed a tortured past. Had he always been this handsome?

Somehow I had never noticed the smooth lines of his face. The soft curve of his lips. The sharp angle of his jaw and the color of his warm tan skin from being in the sun on the battlefield. I had been completely oblivious. I was too stubborn to see the honorable man in front of me. I was even unkind to him on so many occasions yet he looked at me with such a hidden admiration.

Our movements came to a stop and the Colonel stayed by my side, my hand still resting gently over his. I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away from his stare.

“Miss Y/n,” A voice called. Everyone was looking at me. Looking at us. Confusion and suggestion plastered on their faces. Suddenly the Colonel’s hands removed themselves he moved a good distance away from me.

“Next time you would like to hide from your fiancee, use someone else as a shield. I would much rather not be involved in the manner.”

With a sharp, curt bow the Colonel excused himself and rushed off, disappearing into the bustling and whispering crowd. The gossip seemed to stop when Emma ran up to me, her big bright eyes sparkling. Leaving the moment between myself and Mr. Han behind, I danced with my sisters the rest of the night and did my best to fend off my soon to be fiancee.

Hours later the evening drew to a close. Emma was already asleep and had returned to Whitewater with father a few hours earlier in our carriage. Charlotte and I walked out of the Hall our arms linked and laughing about Lady Moss’s hair piece. “Can you believe it?” Lottie laughed out of breath.

A yell from the street pulled our attention. “Your master stepped over the line!” A huge crowd had surrounded two very young men near the road. A fight had broke out between two footmen. I winced seeing a blow land on the smaller one’s face and another to his cut. My eyes widened when I caught a glimpse of his face. It was Felix. Colonel Han’s aide.

“Lottie, go find Chan and Cecilia.” Nodding, she ran back into the hall to find our sister. I pushed my way through the crowd trying to see what was going on. Felix was doing his best to hold his ground against the other boy. It looked like Minho’s steward, Seungmin. “I have no control over what the Colonel does. You’re crazy!” Felix said blocking another swing.

“Hey! Break it up! Stop this juvenile combat!” A voice boomed. Han himself pushed through the crowd and plowed through Seungmin, a hand clutching the collar of the boys shirt. “You do not touch him. If your quarrel is with me then face me so. Do not be a coward and go after my aide.” There was a fire in his eyes and Seungmin looked terrified. The power Han exuded would frighten any man.

Seungmin, regaining his composure, threw a punch at the Colonel, landing on his jaw. While he seemed mostly unaffected, Seungmin took the opportunity to wriggle out of Jisung’s tight grasp. Han scoffed, and threw of his coat, rolling up his sleeves as well. “You will certainly regret doing that.” The crowd cheered as Han took a strike. His slim form allowed him to move with agility and strike with force. It was clear that Seungmin was done for.

Another person burst through the crowd as Han threw Seungmin off of him. Minho caught his steward, pulling him up by the arm. He took Seungmin’s cheek in his hand and examined the boy’s beaten face, before handing him off to another footman. His glare then targeted the Colonel who stood out of breath and dark brown hair tousled.

“How dare you assault my boy?” Minho screamed, pointing a finger at Mr. Han. “Do not jump to assumptions, my friend. Your boy att-” “First you try to seduce my fiancee in front of the entire town- then you assault my aide!” Han let out a breathy laugh before pointing at himself. “Me? You think I would ever be interested in the a woman such as Miss L/n?” His finger moved to point at me, but my glare in his direction was ignored.

“Your man attacked mine first! It is you who needs to apologize! I will not have my staff humiliated and beaten by scum like you or your servants.” Han said beginning to get an almost erratic look in his eyes. “That’s it,” Minho said throwing his coat onto the ground. Without hesitation he leaped into the fight. The crowd cheered them on as I watched in horror.

“Stop! Stop this right now!” I screamed, but no one listened. Mr. Lee’s fist connected with Han’s temple, making his eyes go dark for a moment, before returning. Mr. Lee took the opportunity to throw Han over his shoulder and onto the ground before my feet.

“Mr. Lee, stop right this instant! Both of you! There is no use fighting over me! this is complete nonsense.” Mr. Han’s eyes rolled over to me as he sat up. He winced as he moved to stand up. It took all of my power not to break his stare.

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn about you.”

Why did his words wound me? The hurt must have shown on my face for a brief moment because once again his eyes softened. Before he could say something Mr. Lee took a cheap shot, his fist flying across Han’s cheek. My eyes did not fail to miss the drops of blood that landed on the dirt. Han wasted no time in fighting back.

“ENOUGH!” I screamed. Reputation be damned. I was finished. I had enough. Storming up, with all my strength I pushed the men apart. The two seemed insistent on continuing the brawl. The only thing stopping the Colonel from destroying Mr. Lee was my hands pushing against his shoulders. “You know nothing about me!” My loathsome future fiancee shouted.

“You are only trying to buy her from her father; like she is some prize!” Han sneered. “She is not some timepiece or your stupid pet!” Hearing a yell from Mr. Lee I turned to stop him only to feel a strike against my head. My vision started to blur and my head started to spin before I felt myself fall to the ground.

Every person froze. Mr. Lee and the Colonel watched in horror as I collapsed to the ground barely conscious. Not a second later Chan burst through the crowd with Cecilia in tow, breaking up the fight. She gasped seeing my body on the ground. Quickly she rushed to my side and cradled my head in her lap.

“Quick! Someone help!” Felix, still recovering from his beating, rushed over without hesitating. With some struggle, he got my partially limp body in his arms as Cecilia led him to where our carriage should have been. Han seemed to snap out of his shock, and he rushed to Felix’s side. “Mr. L/n took their carriage. Felix, we’ll go in ours.” Nodding, Felix turned and rushed to the Colonel’s cab and gently placed me on the seat. Cecilia placed my head in her lap as Han jumped into the cab with us, worry painted all over his face.

Felix jumped up into the coach’s seat. Han pounded on the carriage wall and screamed for Felix to go. “Felix, hurry! To Whitewater. Take the back road it’s faster!” Han prayed that they could return to my estate fast enough to call a doctor. When the carriage pulled to a stop, the Colonel took me from Cecilia’s lap and held me in his arms, letting my head roll onto his chest.

“Into the house! Carson! Carson, call the physician!”

Mr. Han carried me up the steps of the porch and impatiently yelled at Felix to hold the door. The poor boy rushed up and let Han carry me through the doorway. Han cautiously handed my semi-conscious body over to Carson. His brow furrowed, concern flooding his features as he watched my loving staff rush to my aid. Carson placed me gently on a sofa and Cecilia carefully undid the tight curls in my hair so my head had somewhat less pain.

Han could do nothing but stand off to the side watching in distress. “Miss Bang...please let me offer my assistance-”

“You have done enough,”

Cecilia did not mean her words to come out as harsh as they did. He knew that. He scolded himself at his thoughts. ‘If only Y/n had not gotten in the way.’ ‘Lee Minho will pay for what he has done.’ A touch on his shoulder brought him back to reality. Turning he saw Felix, a frown on his face. “Sir, we should return to Ruxfield. I will be sure to inquire of Miss L/n’s health in the morning.” Almost as if he was giving him no choice, Felix guided the Colonel back to his carriage and the two departed.

The next morning I awoke to find both Cecilia and Harriet sleeping beside me. Harriet even in her sleep was still holding cloth wrapped ice to my forehead. Sensing my movement, Harriet woke up and asked millions of questions about how I was feeling.

Cecilia then woke up not long after. She recounted what happened after the fight and then left to let me change for the day. The next week went by with no word from the Colonel. Felix came by the first morning to give his apologies at the Colonel’s request. Sadly, Mr. Lee visited almost daily. I had taken to sketching in the book gifted to me by my sister, hoping this would come as a distraction from remembering certain interactions from that night.

The afternoon was perfect. A light rain had come in the morning, leaving droplets on the the flowers in the garden. Now the sun was out and shining, as I sat on a bench outside with my sketchbook amongst the flowers. “My lady you have a visitor.” Carson said from the stone walkway. The garden had somewhat of a keyhole stone path, with a fountain and stone circle at the center. Mr.Carson stood near the fountain. Through the water you could see the outline of a man’s over coat. “If it is Mr. Lee send him away. I am in no mood to entertain him today.”

“Mr. Lee is not the one asking for visitation,” A smooth deep voice spoke as its owner moved from behind the fountain.

Colonel Han stood a little in front of Carson, looking at you with a serious expression. The same he wore every day of his entire life, except it his eyes. His eyes once again held that softness, as if it was a sight only you could bring out of him. “I’d have to jump off a bridge if I was that cat loving bigot.” A hint of a smile slid onto his lips.

He was correct. Mr. Han was nothing like Mr. Lee. Han was rough. He had edges. He never primped himself like Mr.Lee did. I couldn’t help but drink him in. His dark hair was shaggy and he only wore a simple shirt and the old navy overcoat he seemingly never took off. His boots were dirty and scuffed, but well taken care of. A sign of his daring acts but military discipline. A blush came over my cheeks as I remembered the feeling of dancing with him, his chest against my back.

“Jis- Colonel... to what do I owe the pleasure.” I closed my sketchbook and placed it beside me on the stone bench. “Papa is in London, but he should return by nightfall.” In all of my life I had never been nervous in front of a man other than my father. I believed a woman should be a strong and elegant vision, not simply standing behind a man but beside him if at all. So why could I not meet Mr. Han’s eyes.

“I’m not here to see your father. I’m here to see you.”

My eyes widened at his words. Nothing was different about him. He still stood straight with his arms behind his back, keeping a respectable distance form me. His face remained stoic as if he was reading from a war plan. “Thank you, Carson. You may leave us,”

It was Han’s turn to be flustered upon hearing my words. Being the respectful man he was he always adhered to the social protocol of a woman and man never being alone unless with a chaperone. Carson raised his brow in question, but complied, entering the house.

A moment of awkward silence followed. Then another. And another. It was almost like Mr. Han had lost the ability to function after being alone with me. Nervously, I played with the fabric of my dress. What could he possibly want to discuss with me. We have hardly had a pleasant conversation in our entire lives. “Miss Ln-” His words halted when I looked up at him. His eyes went immediately to my face. I knew exactly what he was looking at. The bruise from that night. It was lighter now, having had a week to heal, but still visible.

“Oh Y/n...” He reached out as if to touch my face, but thought better of it and pulled back. There was no longer a wide expanse between us. He now stood only a few feet away from where I sat. “We are not even wed, and yet I have already forsaken you and broken a valiant code...” He muttered under an aggravated sigh.

He was grateful that I didn’t hear it. “If you are indeed here for me, please enlighten me of your purpose for I am in the dark.” I said pushing a strand of loose hair around my face. As he opened his mouth to speak a deep voice called his name.

“Colonel Han!”

Felix came running out of Whitewater. He was out of breath and his hair and clothes were out of place, like he had just gotten off his horse. He handed on a sealed envelope and whispered something in Mr. Han’s ear. Immediately, Han opened the letter with his long nimble fingers. His eyes quickly scanned the letter, leaving me in anxious silence.

“What is it?” I asked on the edge of my seat. Han handed the letter back to Felix and whispered something back to him. Felix spared me a glance before leaving us alone.

The Colonel raked a hand through his already slightly disheveled hair and turned his back to me. Something was compelling me to reach out to him. “Jisung,” He turned at the sound of his name. My mind had yet to register the fact this was the first time I had actually said his name. He on the other hand, did notice.

“What is the matter?” He sighed and looked back at the house. Felix was standing by the door, discussing something with Carson. “Napoleon has resumed his advances on the border.” It took me a moment for me to process the information. This was news that was not for me to hear. “Why-”

“They are calling me to the front line.”

I couldn’t speak.

“Felix gave me my orders just now. I leave in the morning.”

This meant so many things. This meant our country was once again at war with France. It meant Father would have to stay in London. It meant Mr. Han would be sent to the heat of the battle commanding easily a thousand men in combat. It meant Jisung...was being sent into battle that he might not come back from.

Why did I even care? I was in line to be engaged. Granted it was to a spinless snob I practically loathed. “I may be a bitter married woman when you returned. Then our arguments will be that much more interesting.” Another look flashed across his face. Almost like he was disappointed that was what I had chosen to say. Like he had wished I had asked him to stay.

“Let’s hope for the both of us that is not true when I return.”

Before I could understand his words Felix returned, this time with Carson behind him. He came to Mr. Han’s side and urgently whispered something in his ear. Han nodded and brushed him off before turning back to me, his eyes growing soft. Gently, he took my hand. All I could do was watch as he brought it up to his lips and softly kissed my knuckles.

It was an action I had experienced many times from many men. All seeking for my hand in marriage. But this. This was different. This felt intimate. Like the kiss was burning itself into my skin as if to mark me for life. His eyes joined mine as he pulled away.

“Colonel, we have to go.” Felix said breaking the silence. Han slid his hand from mine and he turned to follow Felix back to Ruxfield to prepare for is departure. My body could do nothing but watch him leave.

“You’re all grown up now, Miss Y/n.” Carson said. He had the kindest smile on his face as he came to sit on the bench, pulling me down with him. “What do you mean, Carson?” He sighed, taking my hand in his. Carson was nothing like my father. He and my mother were very close and Mr. Carson always seemed like a real father figure in my life. He was the one who taught me to dance, and what books I should read, and even how to play poker.

“You are falling in love. I would know that look anywhere.” Love? With the Colonel. Impossible. I despised him. Right? “I am not in love. If I was in love I would be getting married.” He chuckled and patted my hand. “Aren’t you though?”

“Carson, do you see me voluntarily marrying that mess of a man?”

“Are you speaking of Lord Lee or Colonel Han?”

Blinking, the thought crossed my mind. Of course I was talking about Mr. Lee right. I was set to marry him. Was Carson saying I should marry Mr. Han? Marrying Colonel Han Jisung. The thought had never crossed my mind. Now that it did, why did my heart swell.

“Of course I’m speaking of Mr. Lee. Father would forbid anyone else.” Carson nodded, looking over the garden. “So, are you saying there is someone else?” He took my silence as an answer, smiling.

“An unhappy alternative is before you, Y/n. From this day you must be a stranger to one of us. Your father will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Lee, and I would never see you again if you do.”

A warm, fatherly smile filled his eyes. “Do you love him?” There was no question of who he was talking about. “While I have lost my heart, I shall not lose my self control. I will not become one of those silly girls running around with their heads in the clouds controlled by love.” Carson laughed and picked a flower near the bench.

“Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.”

Before I could respond I was interrupted by what seemed like the fourth time today. “Y/’n! Y/n!” Cecilia ran out of the house a grin from ear to ear. Emma and Charlotte followed hot on her heels. Her light blue dress blew behind her as she ran over to us. “Y/n, I’m pregnant!” After blinking a few times I wrapped her up in a hug and cheered. Carson joined us and we all went inside to celebrate Cecilia’s news, leaving the conclusion of my conversation with Carson in the back of my mind.

Spring came and went. Soon came the long months of summer and with it came heavy summer storms. The Whitewater creek was filled to capacity and quite dangerous. Father had come home from London and the tensions had been high ever since he returned. Papa seemed hell bent on my marriage to Mr. Lee.

Every chance he got he brought up the engagement. I was starting to think Carson may have been right. Every mention of Mr.Lee drove me further away from him and made me wonder about another man...far away.

Another man who didn’t write. Not once. I found myself jumping to the door when Carson delivered our mail to our rooms. Weeks passed and still I heard no word from him. Weeks turned into months until it became the middle of summer. Still no word from the Colonel. Not even to my father about the war. I was beginning to worry something had happened. Certainly he wouldn’t forget about me after a goodbye like that? Why did I even care? I hated the man. Yes, I hated the man. I had all the right to hate him if he wasn’t going to send me even one letter.

Another summer storm raged outside my window. “Miss you will have to leave your room sometime.” Harriet said, hanging up some of my laundry. “If Cecilia will not leave her room then I too shall not.” Harriet laughed as I watched the water pelt against the glass. “Miss Y/n, your sister is ordered by the doctor to bed rest. Chan is taking care of her. You are simply sulking over your engagement.”

“I am not sulking over my engagement.”

“Then a certain Colonel perhaps? Maybe the lack of a letter?”

Before I could correct my friend, Carson knocked on the door and entered. “My lady, your father wishes to speak to you in his study.” I sighed, turning back to the window. “Carson, I am in no mood to speak to Papa.” Harsh winds blew the trees in the forest just outside the estate. “My lady, he is leaving for London in an hour. He is insistent on speaking to you.”

Carson gave me a small smile. He was probably right. It was better to simply speak to him before he left than ignore him until he returned home. With a sigh, I got up from my window seat. Harriet straightened my dress and adjusted the loose but proper style she had done to my hair this morning. I knew exactly what awaited me behind the heavy wooden doors. My knuckles softly wrapped against the oak.

“Enter,”

The gruff voice of my father echoed as I opened the door. He sat at his desk writing a letter or some other important document. “Papa, you wanted to talk to me?” I said standing near one of the many bookshelves in his study. “Yes, about your marriage.”

“Papa. I already told you I will not marry Mr. Lee-”

“The date has been set. You will marry Lee Minho in one month’s time.”

My jaw dropped in disbelief. “Father!” He didn’t even look up from his work. “Do not ‘Father’ me. You knew this was going to happen. You will marry Mr. Lee. You will do as your told. It is your duty as a woman of this household.” What? My what?

“My duty as woman?”

“Yes.”

“Father, I have no duty as woman. Especially to you. I will not marry a man who I do not love. It is not my duty to obey your every command!” This was when he chose to look at me. His eyes turned cold. “Y/n L/n. You are my daughter. You will do as I say!” Rage filled every inch of my body. “No! I will control my own life! I will not marry him and that is final! Times are changing. It is time you changed with them, Father!” The sound of his chair screeching against the wood floor made me flinch. “We are a family of tradition! I will not let your silly misguided modern values change our family!”

His voice boomed loud enough for the entire estate to hear. “What would mother think of this! She would never-” “DO NOT BRING YOUR MOTHER INTO THIS!” A book flew across the room. Never the less I stood my ground, staring straight back at him even though tears threatened to spill over my eyes.

“I wouldn’t have to if you would just be-”

“If you are going to continue this kind of behavior then I want you out of Whitewater until you come to your senses!”

A silence followed; the kind that hurt. The kind you could feel- like needles plunging into your skin. Rain continued to fall on the roof and windows like bullets.

“So be it.”

With word I stormed out of the study and towards the door. Shouts from the staff could be heard behind me as I burst through the doors and out into the rain. “My lady! Y/n!” Carson called. My feet carried me to the stables. Grabbing a saddle and mounting the closest horse I rode out into the storm.

Finally able to let tears flow away from any eyes, I screamed. Never had I felt so much agony. My own father was shunning me. The man I admired had abandoned me and was sent to war. The man I despised was forcing me into marriage. My skin burned as harsh rain pelted against it. The wind blew through my hair pulling it loose.

Even through all this pain it felt...freeing. It felt amazing to run through the forest outside of Whitewater, thunder rolling in the air and rain showering down. My heart still wretched in pain. I missed my family, despite our arguments. Most of all I missed Mr. Han, despite our many many differences.

A loud crack boomed through the sky and a flash of white burst in front of my horse. I screamed as the horse reared, throwing me off its back onto the forest floor. I felt a pain against the back of my head upon impact. The horse sprinted away in fear leaving me stranded.

“Help!” I screamed into the dark. My legs struggled to hold themselves up and my vision started to become blurry. It became indecipherable what was rain or tears on my cheeks.

The world started to spin as I walked forward. I must have been ‘walking’ for hours. The cold had started to set in and the rain showed no sign of stopping. By now I was miles away from Whitewater and the closest estate was fifteen miles east.

“Help me...”

My dress was getting heavier and heavier despite the fabric being so light before. It clung to my skin and my hair hung in dark wet strands in front of my face. Over the thundering storm I thought I heard hoof beats through the forest. I must have been hallucinating. Not being able to hold myself up anymore, I leaned against a tree.

“Y/n?”

Definitely hallucinating. I was even hearing his voice now. How did I remember what his voice sounded like? Exhaustion started to set in, the pain and cold making my eyes droop and my body feel even heavier.

“Y/n? Y/n, where are you?”

Through my blurry vision I thought I saw the outline of a horse and rider wearing a dark navy coat. “Y/n!” My strength was wearing thin. Taking a chance, that it wasn’t my imagination I pushed myself off the tree and stumbled forward. “Oh god! Y/n stay where you are I’m coming!”

Hooves pounded against the ground growing closer. My head started ti spin even more as the rider jumped off his horse and rushed to me. Before I could fall, I was taken in a pair of strong arms. The edges of my vision started to blackout, my hearing came in and out, and my body shivered trying to keep itself warm. The person clutched me to their chest and pushed the wet pieces of hair away from my face, desperation in their deep voice. “Miss L/n? Y/n, can you hear me? I’ve got you now. I’m here.”

My throat felt dry. “The Colonel...he-he didn’t write to me. I’m...I’m still waiting for his letter. I can’t leave...” The rider sighed and I tried to make out his face. “Do you know Colonel Han? He told me not to get married...so I didn’t...” The words came out in slurs but they came out nonetheless. The rider clutched my head to their chest gently.

“I know, darling, I’m sorry.” He gently laid me on the forest floor and took off his coat wrapping it around me. “I couldn’t even though I wanted to.” Gently he picked me up as if I weighed nothing and moved over to the horse. Through my haze I heard him curse. Even in my state I knew there was no way he could get myself and him on the horse safely.

“Stay with me, darling.” I tried to focus on the rider’s words as he tried to figure out how to get me to safety. The exhaustion won out, leaving me in the darkness.

Colonel Han kept his head. He couldn’t panic. Not even when he saw her eyes close shut. “Damn.” His dark hair clung to his forehead as he searched for a solution. She wouldn’t last much longer. Her body was already freezing in his arms.

His horse was too high to lift her up and Ruxfield was too far to walk. Why was she outside of Whitewater in the first place? In a storm? Whitewater. Whitewater was no more than five miles away. He could make it there. Forgetting about his exhaustion from the ride back from the front line, Jisung adjusted the woman in his arms, resting her head against his chest and his arms under her legs, he began walking all the way back to Whitewater.

His arms and legs burned as he climbed over the last hill. He couldn’t help but smile as he saw Whitewater in the distance through the rain. “We are almost there, darling. Hold on for me.” He just had to hold on long enough to reach Whitewater. To see Y/n was alright.

With his last burst of energy, Jisung burst through the front doors of Whitewater. “HELP! I need a physician! Someone help!” Several staff including Carson rushed up to him, seeing Y/n in his arms. “Quickly, upstairs!” he said, making a path for Jisung. She shivered in his arms as he carried her down the hall and up the stairs.

“Harriet call the physician! Tell him it’s an emergency!” A girl he had scene with Y/n before nodded and rushed to call a doctor. “Y/n! Where is she! Y/n!” Cecilia called rushing to the Colonel. “Cecilia, love, move!” Chan said wrapping the woman in his arms. “Where is Father? He should be here!” She said as they moved passed her. “Your father left for London.” Carson said.

Carson rushed to push open the door to the girl’s bedroom. The Colonel gently placed the girl on her bed and let the staff rush around the room to help her. All he could do was watch as the only woman he had thought about for the past four months lay helpless on her bed, shivering.

A pair of strong hands pushed him softly out of the room and into the hall. He looked up to find Chan. “Han, you are freezing.” “I am fine,” He tried to get a look back into the room, but a maid closed the door. “You need to rest. You just returned on leave.”

“Chan I will be fine!”

Reluctantly, the man left Jisung alone in the hall. He watched as people walked in and out of the room, rushing with towels, blankets, wet clothes, new clothes, even hot kettles. Soon a physician arrived and entered her room. It felt like hours that Jisung had waited outside her door. Finally the girl, Harriet, walked out. She jumped when he grabbed her arm.

“Give me an occupation miss-or I shall go mad.”

Taking in the man’s tired state she handed him a towel. “The doctor says Ms. L/n hit her head and has a serious case of hypothermia.” She watched as Mr. Han sighed and ran a hand through his wet shaggy hair. “Please let me do something. Anything.” All she could offer was the smallest smile.

“You’ve done all you can possibly do. Thank you for saving my mistress.”

With a sorrowful nod he watched as she walked away. “We would be happy to set up a room for you, sir. We would be happy to keep you updated on how the lady is doing.” He gave Harriet a kind smile. “That would be very generous, Miss. I’ll only be staying for the two nights, if that is alright. I have orders to return to the line.” With a nod, Harriet went to prepare a room for the Colonel.

During those two days, Mr. Han never left her side. He stayed by her bedside helping Harriet and Cecilia with anything they asked. One the morning of his departure he gave Cecilia the name of his personal carrier. “If there is any change please let me know. The letter will go directly to me.” She nodded and took the piece of parchment watching the Colonel leave once again.

Sunlight streamed through my window. My head pounded and my body still felt cold. Slowly I slipped out of my bed, feet placing themselves slowly on the cool wood floor. “You are awake!” Cecilia screamed. Rushing over she practically tackled me back onto my bed. “Cecilia, the baby!” “Oh I don’t care you are okay! Thank heavens you are okay!”

I couldn’t help but smile as she hugged me. “Chan will kill you if you hurt his child before it’s even born.” “Shhhhhhhh! Not now. My sister has returned from the dead.” Laughing she hugged me even harder.

“Oh! I almost forgot.” She pulled away and rushed to my dresser. When she returned she had a letter in her hands. “This came for you yesterday. You have been asleep for almost a week. You needed quite a lot of rest. I don’t blame you.” She handed me the envelope with a small smile. “Wait, where are you going?” I asked as she started to leave my room. “I think I should leave you alone with that.” Something about her smile made me laugh.

My shaking hands opened the letter with my name addressed on it in rough but elegant handwriting. When I opened it the familiar smell of gunpowder and old parchment reached my nose. The same handwriting greeted me as I read the letter.

“Miss Ln,

I have written this letter many times, but have been a coward to not send it. I had hoped I would be home to say this-but it seems Napoleon has different plans than I.

Miss L/n, I would like to apologize from the bottom of my heart. There were a thousand times I wanted to write to you, but events on the front line prevented me. I would like to apologize for not getting to you sooner that day. I wish I had been there soon for you, my darling.

I pray that by the time you get this letter you are not yet married to that insolent pitiful disgrace of a man. Though the timing may be off I have something to ask of you. Something to confess...

Miss L/n you have bewitched me- body and soul. To what time I fell so deeply under your spell, I cannot recall. I know not the hour or the spot or the words or even the look that lay the foundation. I was in the middle before I even began. What a proud fool I was. To think my stubbornness was the only thing keeping me from you. In vain I have struggled, but it will not do. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and...love you.

It seems as if the only thing keeping me alive in this battle is the image of you smile. I would die a thousand deaths for that smile.

I have heard your father’s news of your wedding. I beg of you. Do not follow through. I hope that perhaps there is something I can offer. Miss L/n...should I return, I would like to humbly request for your hand. I know I have no right to you, nor should any man. You are the most strong woman I have ever had the pleasure and fortune of meeting, and to me it makes you the most beautiful woman to walk this earth.

I hope to hear from you soon, my darling. Until then, I shall be fighting for the day that I do. I long for the day I am home.

In hope,

Han Jisung”

I sat in disbelief. Colonel Han Jisung had written me a letter professing his love. He proposed... Leaving the letter on my bed I walked to the window. The audacity. To ask me over a letter? A knock sounded at the door pausing my pacing. “Enter,” Harriet paused when she saw the look on my face. “Miss, what’s the matter.”

“Harry, I believe I have a serious decision to make.”

Months passed. Summer turning into mid fall. Father’s supposed wedding date for me had long passed. Each time Mr. Lee had visited Carson had turned him away. More letters from the Colonel had arrived, but they all said the same thing and soon they came to a stop. Cecilia had given birth not to long ago, to a beautiful baby boy. Chan and my sister had named the child Benjamin.

News came that the war ended, England victorious. Soon I would be expecting a visitor. I sat in the garden with my sketchbook, drawing the few flowers that were left in the beds among other things. A certain face had popped up in the pages of my book several times. “Miss Y/n,” I looked up to see Carson walking down the pathway.

“You have a visitor.”

A smirk fell across my lips. “Well, I believe I have been expecting him so let us not keep him waiting any longer.” With a smile, Carson returned into the house to fetch my guest. Patiently, I waited for the guest to come out and see me. I heard the sound of boots against the stone pathway and smiled.

“Good afternoon, Colonel.”

“Yes, indeed, Miss L/n.”

There was a nervous expression on his face. Once again he looked like he had just returned from active duty. His dark hair had grown a little longer and he wore the same navy overcoat again. His shirt underneath was covered in black powder and some of the buttons were undone to reveal his tan and slightly toned chest. Yes, definitely just returned. Returned with no time to change apparently.

Quickly I brought my attention back to my sketchbook in hopes that it would hide the heat spreading on my cheeks. “Did...you receive my letters?” Self control regained, I turned my attention back to Mr. Han. “Why yes, Colonel Han, I did in fact receive several letters.”

“And you are not married...”

“No, I am not.”

The man stood perfectly still in military fashion, his hands clasped behind his back. “Well are you going to speak? You certainly did not come to Whitewater just to stare at me did you?” Shock crossed Han’s face. It was evident he had not expected me to speak to him like this. It was fun to see the stoic Colonel flustered.

“I came to ask you response. You never wrote back to me.” I shrugged, getting off the bench. “Response? I don’t remember ever being properly asked a question.” He sighed running a hand through his hair, a habit that I had missed while he was away. “I do recall asking-” “No, Colonel Han. You requested. You, sir, never asked me anything. So why should I dignify you with a response.”

Maybe it was the smile, or the slight twinkle in my eye, but he laughed. A sound that I had never heard from the man. It made me want to memorize every sound and feature of his face when he laughed. “Then, should I ask you properly, Miss L/n?” It was a genuine question, not of simple jest. “There is no harm in questions.” He took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes.

“Miss L/n, will you please allow me the great honor of making you my wife?”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

His eyes widened at my quick response. “I’m sorry Colonel, but I cannot promise to be any man’s wife who sits prettily in a corner and who is expected to obey every word he says. I won’t be expected to just sit around waiting for you-...him- to come home.”

“Wherever you are is my home; my only home.”

There was sincerity in his eyes. Love. “Mr. Han,” He sighed taking my hands in his. Though his touch was still unfamiliar, it felt sure and safe. “Miss L/n, please let me speak.” He practically begged. I waited silent for him to continue.

“I am half in hope and half in agony. If your feelings are still what I assumed they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged but one word from you will silence me on the subject forever.” He searched my eyes for an answer.

“Miss L/n, I am in love with you more than you will ever know. I want nothing more than to be with you. To wake up to every morning- to fall asleep next to you every night. To stand next to me, not behind me. I am in love with your wit, and your charm, and how you always keep me on my toes more than any battle ever has. I am in love with your modern values and your spontaneity.” Han’s hands were rough against mine, his slender fingers ghosting over my skin.

“Y/n...Will you marry me, and do me the honor of letting me be your husband?”

Han’s dark eyes looked into mine- indeed half in agony and half in hope. He looked at me as if everything in the world that mattered to him was standing in front of him. The look in his eyes couldn’t help but make me smile. I was in love with Colonel Han Jisung and it couldn’t be helped.

“Yes,”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

“Really?” He asked. “Of course.” He smiled and looked down at his hands still gently holding mine. “May I?” He asked softly, glancing between my eyes and my lips. It only took a small nod for him to act, pressing his lips softly onto mine. My head begin to feel dizzy in the best way. His fingers traveled up the bare skin of my arms and then down to rest on my waist, bringing me closer. Han smiled as my hands pressed against his chest, kissing him back.

“I love you, Jisung. With all my heart.”

“It took you long enough to say it, my darling.”

El Fin

Requests are open my lovelies!

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miss-kittys-magical-library · 4 years ago

Text

Last Christmas

Words: 2900

Warnings: Here we see the smut chapter. Fluff and smut.

A/N: again thanks to my homies @joz-stankovich and @robertsheehanownsmyass for encouragement!! Tag list: @magic-multicolored-miracle @elliethesuperfruitlover @super-unpredictable98 @bisexualnathanyoung

Chapter 3- White Christmas

Violet unlocked her door and dropped a handful of bags in the foyer. The mistletoe and pine still softly twinkling where Nathan left it made her flush at the memory of their kiss. She shook it off as she struggled to drag in a large heavy duffle bag she collected from the casino.

“Hey, Seamus Finnegan!” she gave a shout and smiled to herself. “Come help me with your shit! Also you've got eight hundred messages on your phone.” Violet finally faced her apartment and gasped. Nathan had decorated while she was out.

White lights trimmed the door to her balcony. The island where they ate earlier shared a similar style to the one above her front door: Pine and some bows and lights scattered throughout. There was a six foot pine tree in the corner by her television showered with white lights as well (in fact all the lights Nathan used were white. Some twinkled, some were stagnate). There were ornaments of every shade of purple, flowers and silver tinsel littered the tree, and again the pine around the wood of the table her tv sat on. Any bow used was a deep purple with silver trim.

“Oh, Nathan.”

That's all Violet could whisper as she ran her hands along the bough that lined the kitchen island. She knew in her heart he would open his mouth and ruin the feeling of contentment and she had right now. Something witty or obscene, so she kept quiet and allowed it all to soak in.

Making her way to the Christmas tree, Violet reached out to touch everything. It was real, solid. Nathan made all of these with his.. magic? She couldn't believe that’s what it was. Magic. He was magical.

His face certainly is magical, too she thought to herself. Cheeks hot as the sensation of his tongue in her mouth flooded her memory. It's been so long, Vi. What would it hurt?

Except it wasn't just about wanting to sleep with Nathan. He challenged her with his smart mouth. Always tacking on a statement that would get him the most attention. That he couldn't just say anything nice or complimentary without sexual or sarcastic wit sprinkled in. But he was vulnerable with Violet when he was still locked up and just last night as he lay dying in her arms. When Nathan trusted someone his walls came crashing down.

And he could be selfish, but so far he used his powers for others. The money he tried to steal to give Marnie and someone else’s baby a better life. Violet knew the young mother didn't steal the poker chip, Nathan gave it to her and told her to take off so she wouldn't get caught up in his mess. The decorations and breakfast this morning, carrying her to the couch instead of leaving her on the floor. That asshole’s tongue at the club. Even trying to comfort Violet as a knife stuck out of HIS chest.

And Violet assumed he drove everyone insane, himself included. Yet he survived. Or found a way. He survived being homeless and whatever went on in London after that storm that affected him and his friends (She googled it, would bring them up later). He even survived prison; for a guy like Nathan that was impressive.

Violet liked some of her clients. She even struck up friendships with the better of them. ACTUAL friendships where they called and hung out whenever her schedule allowed. But this was a tiny seed planted in her heart that started to grow and blossom like the flowers on her Christmas tree. They weren't supposed to see each other ever again, and Violet would be able to uproot her feelings for the flirtatious Irishman and throw them away.

Except he was in her apartment, occupying more than just physical space. With his stupid green eyes and even dumber way he laughed loudly at all of his own jokes before anyone else could. Let's not even start on his stupid, handsome face caught between boyish and a man like puberty couldn't make up it's mind during Nathan’s late teen years and just decided to linger into his twenties. Or his weird body with the baby Bambi spindly legs but muscular arms (with dumb scene kid tattoos) and that chest she touched. With all that death she figured he would be cold, but he was human. Hot blooded, warm-skinned human.

God dammit, Duval. You can't do this. He's probably just doing what he does best when it comes to you. Surviving until he gets home to London. Plus, he's like, way too young for you.

Her sisters were gonna have a field day with this tomorrow at dinner. Would Nathan even want to go with her? She was so lost in her thoughts, that she only just noticed the flowers decorating her tree were her namesake, violets.

Somewhere far behind, Nathan cleared his throat. Violet still jumped, plucking a flower off as she did. “Hope you don't mind I jazzed up the place. Rather boring for a bird like you,” he said with a devilish grin. “I wasn't sure what ye liked. I closed my eyes and t’ought of you and all this happened.” He swept his hand around the room.

“It's rather thoughtful for you.”

“Don't you mean thoughtful OF me?”

“No I definitely meant FOR you” Violet challenged.

For only the second time since they met, Nathan was rendered speechless.. Mouth agape, thick eyebrow furrowed in confusion as he grappled for a comeback and failed. It was only when Violet looked at him struggling that she understood what was going on with her guest as he casually lounged against the wall.

Nathan was wearing one of her sheets wrapped around his lithe body in a makeshift toga. A tinfoil halo laid crookedly on his shaggy head. Violet also took notice of the outline of his member under the sheet. She couldn't help but gawk knowing he was naked. He didn't bother with the wings, as if he was “angel” enough for what he thought he was doing.

Violet laughed out loud and covered her mouth to hide mirthful giggles. Tears sprang to her eyes, and at one point she felt out of breath. Nathan, meanwhile, had a crimson climb up over his face. His eyes betrayed that for once maybe there was some sort of embarrassment going on. He crossed his arms self-consciously and rolled his eyes.

“Are ye done having a laugh?!” just a smidge of hurt in his voice. “Last time turn myself inta a sexy angel!” Nathan jerked his hips and sneered.

“You look so cute! You halo did me in! Be honest,” Violet pursed her lips to express another giggle, “What are you doing?” She could feel the answer before he said it.

Nathan waltzed over to just a few feet from Violet. He ran a hand down the length of his body with mischief in his eyes, “Who me? I go on top, love.”

“Not if I have a say in it.”

Nathan’s mouth hung open in disbelief. “What if I get there first?”

“I've got way more experience than you do. And I always come out on top.”

There was electricity in the air.

“Key word being come,” Nathan’s voice came out sleepier than usual.

His eyes drifted from Violet’s down to her mouth then back up as he teeth bit his entire bottom lip. If that was meant to be seductive it worked.

Violet felt out of her body when she clung to the back of Nathan’s neck so she could bring his mouth down to hers. Their tongues doing battle as she got her fingers wrapped up in the back of his head. Nathan’s strong hands on the curve of her waist so that he could bring her lower half onto the bulge under the sheet. She moaned unintentionally into his mouth.

Nathan was a little aggressive the way he almost choked Violet with his tongue. She bit into it between playful and defensive causing him to back off. Only breaking the kiss to remove her shirt. Their bodies molded together again as they made out in the living room.,

His hands kept flitting over her body in quick succession like he couldn't decide between her shoulder blades or her ass. Making up his mind instead to start fumbling around with the clasp of her bra. To Violet’s delight and surprise he managed to unhook the thing and helped her slide it off.

In a whirlwind Nathan picked Violet up so that she could wrap her long legs around his thin body. Violet took note that he was stronger than he looked as they stumbled through the hall. Tongues at war again while Nathan crashed Violet into a wall where he devoured one of her breasts.

“Ow,” she winced but giggled into his mouth. Her nails deep into the skin of his shoulders and neck for balance.

“Not sorry,” Nathan mumbled.

He bit at a nipple harshly before sucking on it and repeated this back and forth. Growling into her chest with his face inside her cleavage. Violet laughed louder than she meant to at the absurdity.

“OI!” Nathan cried, but joined in the laughter this time.

Now they lumbered towards the bedroom, Violet tugged on his hair and cried out as his tongue flicked and devoured her nipples softer than before. Once inside, Nathan literally threw Violet back on to her bed towards the pillows.

“What the fuck?!” Her face hurt from smiling and laughter. Afraid of what might happen to her expensive Versace panties, she took them off before Nathan could tear into the fabric himself.

Violet bit her finger, her skin goose-pimpled in the cold air of her apartment. Her patience began to grow somewhat thin even as her sex started to pulsate at the sight of Nathan’s erection under the toga he fought with.

“Do you want help?” she offered.

Nathan waved her off and it fell to the floor. His cock surprised her with the still attached foreskin strained against the head. Then she remembered most European guys were still intact.

Violet's view was mostly a short one because Nathan crawled across the bed towards her. That Lord of Chaos shit eating grin from ear to ear as he palmed her knees. He spread them till they touched the sheets. He sucked on her collarbone and pumped a finger or two deep inside Violet. The palm of his hand meeting her sex causing her to buck unexpectedly while he repeated himself a few times. Her actions only encouraged him to keep going

“Where did you learn any of this foreplay? Porn? Trial and error? Juvenile girls with low standards?”

“D. All of the above.” He groaned into Violet’s neck. Fingers still gliding in and out of her.

“Have you ever been with an older woman?”

Nathan startled Violet by staring at her all of a sudden. “How old is older woman?”

Violet grimaced, “Nope. Nevermind.”

Before long, Nathan stopped using his hand and all too hastily started to lap at Violet. His tongue swift and sloppy over her sex not even bothering to find her clit. Rapidly he licked at her slit like she was an ice cream he tried to eat before it melted. It wasn't unpleasant but it wasn't exactly getting her off.

“Nathan?” she cried out the question. “NATHAN!” louder.

He raised his head, mouth glossed with her wetness. “Ahyep?” His eyes heavy with desire.

“This is oral sex, Lucky Charms. Not a fucking pie eating contest. Slow down and put your mouth here,” she brushed fingers over the top of her sex and spread it enough to show him her clit.

Nathan’s eyes widened and followed her finger to the bud of nerves she all but pointed at. “So that's what it looks like,” he marveled.

Violet glanced heavenwards but a part of her felt bad. “I'm being serious, has no woman EVER told you how to get her off?”

Nathan littered her thighs with kisses from the knee towards her pelvis. Making his way up the other to the opposite knee. He smiled at the way Violet’s body arched into the sensation. “Nah. Usually get a quick toss in then never see ‘em again. Marnie was my first missus.”

“Well then just use the tip of your tongue and make small circles.” Her breath caught when Nathan obeyed. “You can suck on.. Like. Fuck,” her hips writhed under his mouth “and just..” she mewled and lost concentration.

He caught on quickly. The rhythm of his tongue matched the way Violet rocked herself into mouth. More and more rapid he worked his tongue between circles and sucking. His actions and her wrapped up in a cycle of give and receiving

Violet vibrated. One hand clawed at Nathan’s neck. The other clutched the headboard as she felt electricity course through her. She bent forward at the power of her unexpected orgasm. The hood of her sex contracted around his tongue, liquified, she screamed his name.

Nathan pushed himself up and laid down on top of Violet before she could get her bearings. His tongue deep inside her mouth again as the head of his cock twitched and poked at her cunt.

“Na-Nathan, what are you doing?” she managed to catch her breath.

“Getting a toss in. Ye had yours, now it’s time t’give us a go. Right?” he teased her with the head slick already with his pre-cum.

“Not without a condom you don't.” Violet wedged her hands between her chest and Nathan’s to push him away. She searched around in her nightstand drawer, hyper-aware of the immaculate knife placed back inside. A flash of his dead body, but she held up a condom instead.

A kiss puckered on lips that fell. “A what?”

“You don't have condoms in Europe?” her eyebrow curved.

“Well sure but I've never used one.”

Nathan was so matter of fact it took Violet by surprise. Still, he took the package from her, hesitating to open it. He was rather tentative about what was inside.

“You've got to be fucking joking,” Violet took the rubber from him in haste and rolled her eyes. “I don't know where your dick has been.”

Nathan kneeled over her legs, his cock at perfect attention. “Aw COME ON!” he whined. “They're mostly clean council estate girls! Once there was one of those Thai ladyboys,” he stroked his chin, “but I didn't even realize my cock wasn't in a fanny”

“Fuck me.”

“I'M TRYING, SWEETHEART!! NO ONE’S EVER SHOWN ME HOW T’PUT ONE ON!”

Violet softened once more and sighed. She laid the condom on her chest and took Nathan by the waist to make him scoot towards her. For shits n giggles she raked her nails down his hips and he buckled with slight pain and pleasure. Violet smirked but took his cock in one hand while rolling the rubber over the shaft and down to the base expertly. She kissed his stomach, erection twitching as he came in proximity to get mouth.

Violet traced a fingertip over the stars he had tattooed down his pelvic bone. “What the hell possessed you?” She gazed up at him through her bangs.

Nathan caressed her cheek down to her lips where Violet sucked on his finger. She nipped playfully at it waiting for an answer. “It's shooting stars (stairs) all the way down t’ the milky fucking way”

Violet immediately regretted her decision to ask. Again. She had to remind herself he wasn't immature per se, more like stunted. Nathan had a good heart under the cushion of sarcasm and arrogance. A heart she placed the palm of her hand against to feel its steady beat.

“I'm only joking. Was a good place t’ hide it from mum. We can shag now right?”

Violet laid back on the pillows and opened up to him. Without hesitation, Nathan plowed into her. That pelvic bone collided with Violet’s as the breath escaped her lungs. Sweat gleamed along his chest and forehead mixed with the scent of her sex as his pace became almost ludicrous. There was pounding and diving into the hilt. As far inside of Violet as she allowed.

This is actually ok, she thought to herself as she attempted to match his speed and failed.

Violet laid under Nathan while he rutted like a wild animal. Breathless and panting as he attempted multitasking: Kissing her and fucking her. He failed at least one and opted to immerse himself in her hair as his body spasmed a release so violent and sudden all that escaped Nathan's throat was a strangled cry.

He collapsed on the pillows beside Violet and almost immediately passed out. She merely snorted, rolled away to check the time. It was then she felt soft, cold pinpoints on her bare arms and chest and hair. What was going on outside in the Nevada desert she registered as happening inside her bedroom.

Violet rolled over to face her lover. Snowflakes covered his bangs and long eyelashes. She held out her hands to catch giant fluffy flakes. Those same flakes fell inches high on her balcony but nowhere else. Violet snuggled into the chest of the man who slept beside her. Lost in his ecstasy, it appeared that he made it snow.

Nathan had given Violet her first white christmas.

#robert sheehan #robert sheehan character fic #nathan x violet #lord of chaos

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appples · 4 years ago

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Bakugo and Dabi x reader fanfic cont.

Here is some more blurbs with everyone’s favourite angry boy

“Get down!” I heard Bakugo’s voice scream at me from across the room. Still bound, I was unable to follow his advice. Noticing, he propelled himself towards me, throwing his body against mine moments before I saw the flames fan out against his back. He winced in pain, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him.

“We need to leave, they’re going to destroy each other and everything in their path. I need to melt your binding, this is going to hurt.”

“Do it as fast as you can.” He nodded and took hold of the metal restraints attaching me to the wall. The metal heated up instantly, aggressively burning against me skin. He said it would hurt but neglected to mention just how long it would take.

“Hold on, almost there…” he gritted his teeth. A whimper escaped as he funnelled more power and heat through his hands. I looked up as he remained silent, determination and quilt filled his eyes.

“Stop trying to be delicate, give it a strong blast or we are never getting out of here.” Bakugo looked down and met my eyes, holding them for a moment. He nodded and proceeded to do as I said. I knew I couldn’t scream, it would likely alert Dabi and everyone to our departure. Instead I bit my tongue as the searing around my wrists stripped away the flesh. The moment the bindings clattered to the ground, Bakugo’s arms wrapped around me, lifting my legs around his waist. In another life this could have been a different scenario with my legs around him and breasts painfully pressed against his chest.

“Hold on, I’m getting us out.” My arms shook as I wrapped them around his neck, pressing myself painfully close against him. The roar of his hand cannons was deafening as we lifted into the sky.

When we finally settled back down, I noticed the surroundings to be familiar. Before I could ask, he answered my question.

“I brought you back to my place, at least here I know you’re safe. We can take care of your burns too.” I had been neglecting looking at them as I was actively trying to block out the pain. Slowly my legs begin to unhook to let myself down but Bakugo, holds them in place with one arm and the other wrapping around me.

“I-“ I try to protest but he cuts me off.

“Shut up, you’re injured.” I huffed before resting my chin in the crook of his neck, my nose filling with his smell of leather and spices. There were no more protests from me as we continued inside and into a master bathroom. He sat me on the vanity before rummaging around for a professional looking medical set up. His eyes were focused on the task infant of him, almost as if he was avoiding looking at me. While was I was looking quite disheveled that was;’t the issues.

“Stick out your arms.” Standing infront of me and still refusing to look up. I hesitated before turning them over to him. He sucked in a hiss at the sight of what his quirk had done to me. Unless I saw someone with a cosmetic or healing quirk soon, I would have burn rings around my wrists and forearms for life. His touch was so gentle you would almost think he wasn’t touching at all, which is hard to imagine when you see how rough and beat his hands are from years of battles and training. Before he applied the ointment I took his hands in mine,

“Thank you but you didn’t need to come looking for me.”

“What are you talking about? I found you basically chained to a wall, your clothes are torn to shreds and you’re filthy. He would have destroyed you, maybe not all at once but until there was nothing left of you.”

“Maybe”

“Maybe, is that all you can say? Is this some fucking Stockholm syndrome shit?”

“No, this just isn’t your problem”

“What the fuck, you’re not a problem.” His work were abruptly replaced with a silence before be began again. “Look, let me deal with these burns and I will draw you a bath. You can do whatever you want after.” Finally he began applying the ointment.

“Thank you” I whispered. His eyes flickered in brief acknowledgement of my words as he continued with what he was doing.

The bath was almost too hot, which kind of made sense. I eased myself in, hissing as my skin disappeared beneath the surface. What day was it? Time stopped being relevant a while ago. A sharp knock announced Bakugo’s presence at the door,

“I’m leaving some clothes here for you. They’re going to be too big but it’s all I have on hand.” The door closed immediately as he made his exit as quickly as his entrance. I hadn’t given any thought to what I was to wear once I got out of the bath. My clothes I had been wearing were mostly destroyed and wouldn’t be wearable.

His shirt felt impossibly soft as it fell down my shoulder. “Too big” was an understatement, I was swimming in his clothes. The shirt alone went to my knees, wearing the sweatpants felt like I was constantly tripping over myself. Quickly they came off. All my time spent in the bathroom I avoided looking in the mirror, I didn’t want to see how pathetic I looked. It was pointless though, there were marks and burns all over my body. No matter how much or how little I looked at them though, I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Bakugo didn’t even attempt to hide his reaction, I wish I knew what he thought.

Peering around the corner I expected to see Bakugo to be on the couch, not cooking a meal.

“I’m making curry.” How did he even know I was there? “It’ll be ready in twenty minutes.” Unsure what to do, I make my way to the table and seat myself. Everything is delicately set in place, intentionally set there. Truthfully the entire apartment was like that. For a pro hero in their twenties, you wouldn’t expect their home to be so immaculate. His pride extended beyond himself, although not in a boastful way more so just an extension of who he is.

“Why are you staring at me?” I hadn’t realized how intently I was watching him. My eyes dropped away,

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” I opened my mouth to contest but couldn’t find any words to fill it. Instead, he took the opening. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” It was vague, but honest. Looking at my forearms I could feel the burning again but there was no pain. Every other mark and burn began to throb. Violently reminding me of what I had been through the last few days. Although, how long had it actually been?

“How long…” I hesitated to continue. How long, what? Since I was captured? How long was I tortured?

“Seven days”. He abruptly stopped chopping. “I’m sorry we didn’t get there sooner.” The grip on the knife audibly tightened.

“Please don’t be sorry, there isn’t anything you could have done.”

“Do you hear what you’re saying?”

“I’m sorry?”

“He tortured and violated you, all because I couldn’t keep you safe enough until...until I brought you to Endeavour. God knows what he would have done to you. Did you know that?” Katsuki slammed the knife he was holding down and turned around, “Did you?!” His voice cracked as he screamed at me.

“Dabi had told me that he started searching for me when he heard that Endeavour was tracking me down to use my quirk for himself and his...projects”

“And I was the one tasked with bringing you to the slaughter.”

“You work for him, do you not? You were just doing what you were told.”

“Why the fuck are you making excuses for me?”

“I am not your responsibility.”

“I’m supposed to be a hero, to protect and keep people safe. Not to and someone over to become property of another.”

“Still not your responsibility. But thank you.” I look down, wringing my bandaged wrists. Katsuki grabs my hands with his, I hesitate and realize how fast my heart is racing before looking up to meet his gaze. His eyes burned like the intensity of cinnamon.

“Stop it, dumbass. And don’t fucking say sorry again. Dinner will be ready soon.” I didn’t want him to let go of me, I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to feel something warm and safe. As he began to let go my body moved with his, I pulled back once I realized what I was doing. His eyes looked through me as if I were sheer, I wanted to be seen but was afraid of him seeing what I was holding beneath the surface. Instead I nodded and dropped my arms. Katsuki huffed before turning around and resuming dinner preparations. To be honest I didn’t know what to do. I was only held captive for a week but somehow in that amount of time I forgot how to live. So I sat down in silence. Occasionally staring as Bakugos shoulders moved fluidly as he cooked. Hunger wasn’t something that had registered in a while and the strong smells of curry were beginning to become overbearing. My legs were moving before it consciously registered that I was about to throw up. It happened so fast I didn’t have time to say anything before I sprang from my chair and took off down the hall, towards the toilet. There had long since been anything to actually throw up, bile and acid taking the vacant position. The back of my throat always salivates before I vomit. A hand appeared on my back as I leaned over the toilet seat for a second time. My hair pulled back and out of my face. Silence filled the air between wretches, tears leaked from the corners of my eyes.

“There you go, that must feel better.” Bakugo calmly whispered to me, his hand had warmed and rubbed small circles into my back as his other continued to hold my hair out from harms way. Everything about me felt weak and pathetic in that moment. Worse things happen to people all the time, and they seem to get on with it. So what was wrong with me?

“Finished?” I nodded before spitting out the last of the bile in my mouth. Bakugo arms slipped under me and lifted me as if it was the most natural thing to do. I didn’t protest, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. He walked me into his bedroom, where he proceeded to lay me down on his bed. Sleep began to announce itself. Tucking me into bed, he paused,

“Is there anything you need?” Bakugo softly questioned. I shook my head no, aware of what the correct answer is but my body betrayed me and held onto Bakugo as he went to pull away. He didn’t say anything and instead sat down on the edge of the bed, still holding my hand. With him there and completely focused on me, I finally began to relax and sleep abruptly washed over me. Despite that, Bakugo stayed by my side. Watching my breathing as I shifted between states, noticing the winces and whines as I moved in my sleep. Some of the bruises had spread and were displaying themselves past where my borrowed clothing covered. He traced over each one with his eyes and made note, filling with rage each time he noticed a new one. What happened between Dabi and myself was something that runs deep and is incredibly personal but nonetheless Bakugo inserted himself and has made it his mission to protect me. While it’s far from Endeavour and Dabi trying to control me, it feels oddly similar. Maybe it’s simply what I have grown to depend on but he genuinely seemed to care beneath his gruff persona.

I woke up to an empty room, gasping air. Fragments of a dream quickly faded away, leaving only traces of what felt like smoke in my memory. How long had I been asleep for? When did Bakugo leave? Thrusting myself out of bed I stumble as I steady my breath. My surroundings are still unfamiliar as I grasp for anything to bring me down. The room itself is small and I find the door with ease. Propping myself up against the frame I try and make sense of what I am trying to accomplish instead of going back to sleep

#bnha #mha #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katuski x reader #mha bakugou #bakugou smut #bakugou x reader

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morgansyorkie · 5 years ago

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Too Afraid of Losing You ~ Nolan Patrick

Summary: You’re a med student and you had to graduate early due to the Corona Virus pandemic happening in the Philadelphia area. You have been working insane hours and the exhaustion from it all has definitely took a toll not only on you, but on your boyfriend Nolan Patrick well. You both have come to realization on truly how each of you mean to one another and how much you need one another during this difficult time.

Word Count: 3,660

Disclaimer: this is my first writing that I am posting, I hope that you all in enjoy it and would love to get any kind of feed back. Thank you :) Also thank you to @quinny-boy-hughes and @kravistonecny for giving my the courage to write and post this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who would have thought that two months ago your normal life as a med student was going to change, but change in a way you never thought could happen. Sleeping was starting to become more and more difficult nor it never came at all. You frequently found yourself tossing and turning throughout the night or during the day depending on your crazy schedule. The world as you knew it was changing and not in a good way, your school decided to let all medical students graduate early if they chose to due to the pandemic that was happening here in America.

Sixteen hours...sixteen hours later you were finally walking into your apartment in downtown Philadelphia feeling completely exhausted and worn out. Your shift was only supposed to be from 7 pm to 7 am a normal twelve hour nurse-based shift, but with the amount of cases that were pilling in overnight, your team had to work overtime to make sure there was enough room for everyone coming in. You quickly kicked your shoes off and headed straight to the bathroom so you can remove your uniform and jump into the hot scolding shower. As you were removing your clothing you noticed a note and a single red rose laying on the countertop of the sink. “You’re so amazing and I’m so proud of you” Love always Nolan

As exhausted as you were, you couldn’t help but smile at the little gesture that your beyond amazing boyfriend Nolan has done for you. Nolan is your absolute everything in this world, he has seen you go through so much while attending med school and knowing that your graduating year had to be cut short due to the Corona Virus outbreak put a toll on the both of you. He was looking forward to watching you walk across the stage and finally getting that diploma that you’ve worked so damn hard for. He was looking forward for after graduation to settle down some and enjoy sometime together and maybe start planning your guys future together before you landed your official nursing job at University of Penn. He was even in talks to the guys about proposing to you when the time was right, but now that’s all thrown out the window due to this insane virus that no one has control over.

Once you got out of the shower, you changed into some sweats and one of Nolan’s hoodies that he totally sprayed his cologne with overnight to make sure that it smelled exactly like him. You walked out of the bathroom and was surprised to see Nolan still spread out in your guys bed peacefully sleeping. Must have been a long night of video games, if he is still sound asleep at this time of the day. As much as you desperately needed sleep you didn’t want to disrupt your boyfriend so you headed towards the spare bedroom and crawled under the blankets. You turned to lay on your side but the scarring on your face made you jolt some, but after a while the cooling of the pillowcases felt good against your beat-up face.

Nolan rolled over and looked at his phone which had a bunch of notifications that he could care less about, he saw that it was almost noon. He opened his text’s and saw that the last text from you was around eleven in the morning stating you were finally clocking out and heading home. But it’s almost been an hour since that text and he doesn’t understand why you’re not home lying in bed next to him. He got up and walked out of the room “Y/N? Y/N you home”? He asked in a low mumble tone. When there was no response, he got worried, he was about to grab his phone to call you when he noticed the guest bedroom door slightly closed and the bag with your scrubs in it laying out in the hall way. Seeing the bag out in the hall way made his nerves calm down a bit, he softly opened the guest bedroom door and saw you peacefully laying in the bed sleeping. He was glad to have you home safe, but he would be lying if he wasn’t a little hurt for the fact that you were sleeping in the guest bed instead of next to him in your guys bed.

You were finally getting some good sleep for once until you heard the loud ringing coming the night stand next to you. You sat up and rubbed your eyes a few times before answering the phone.

“Hello?” You answered still half a sleep.

“Y/N” I am so so sorry to wake you; I know how worn out you must be but I need you to come in for another overnight shift tonight. We just got about another 100 or so cases that rolled in from the time that you left and it’s getting out of hand here. We are going to need all hands-on deck tonight and tomorrow.” Your boss explained to you.

You had no choice, you had to go in this is what you signed up for. Well not this exactly, but you knew that becoming a nurse meant you were going to have some really tough days and nights.

“Yes, of course I’ll be there for shift change at seven tonight” You said in mid-stretch and getting ready to hop out of bed since it was just pass three thirty in the afternoon.

“Ugh thank you so much Y/N see you later hun.” Your boss said quickly and hung up

You walked out of the bedroom and headed towards the living room and kitchen area. You might as well start planning on cooking a big meal since you don’t know when the next time you will be able to eat a proper meal next. You saw Nolan sitting on the couch with his gaming headset on, trying his best not to yell into the mic at the person on the other end which was most likely Travis and maybe Carter.

“Dude Trav what the fuck are you doing? You just shot me I am on your team you stupid idiot, such a dumbass, god you are so fucking bad at Call of Duty.” Nolan said into his headset.

You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself and shake your head at the site of Nolan. You walked over and leaned over the back of the couch to run your hand through Nolan’s hair and give him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading into the kitchen.

“Hey guys, I gotta go.” Nolan said as quickly as he could before shutting down the game and throwing his headset onto the coffee table.

You’d just finished getting out some pots and pans to start preparing a meal of spaghetti and meatballs when a pair of familiar strong arms wrapped themselves around your torso and a nose nuzzled into your neck.

“Done your game already.” You said giggling.

“Why were you in the spare bedroom?” Nolan questioned, as he spun you around so he could properly kiss you.

“I slept in the guest room because you took up the whole bed and you looked so damn cute and peaceful that I didn’t want to disrupt that. It's been so hard for me to even get a good night’s and in this case a good day’s worth of sleep lately so when I was done showering and found you sprawled out, you looked so peaceful. That I didn’t have the heart to ruin your beauty sleep in case I couldn’t fall asleep.”

I appreciate that babe…but I missed you.” Nolan breathed. “Was worried that something happened to you or that something had happened at the hospital.”

“Nah…never.” You insisted. “Not when I have you here to come home to after a long exhausting shift at work.”

With Nolan’s arms bringing you closer to him and him resting his head over your shoulder you sighed softly.

“Baby, what’s wrong and why are you cooking now? I thought that we were just going to snuggle and relax tonight and order some take out.” Nolan said as he played with your hair

“Plans changed...” You said barely above a whisper

“Y/n? What’s going on?” Nolan asked while stepping next to you so he can get a good read at the expression on your face. He knows how exhausted, worn out and beat up you have been lately. Seeing all of scars on your face every time you walk through that door reminds him how serious this virus actually is, it reminds him how scared he is that you are on the front lines during this time and how he doesn’t exactly know what you are battling every day, hour and minute.

“My boss called...hundreds of more cases came flooding in after I left the hospital, we need all hands-on deck. So, I have to head back down to the hospital later for another overnight shift.” You spoke softly as you pour the pasta into the boiling water and went to the freezer to grab the bag of meatballs.

“Y/n...no you were supposed to have the rest of the evening off, you weren’t supposed to go back into work until tomorrow morning. We were finally supposed have a relaxing night together, I feel like I don’t get to see you anymore.” Nolan said grabbing your hand squeezing it tight afraid that he might never get another relaxing night with you again.

“Patty, trust me I more than anyone in this world want that. I just want to crawl onto the couch and in your lap and just wish this horrible nightmare of a virus away, but it’s not like that. It’s getting worse by the hour and minute it seems like now and I just can’t say no. I just can not just not show up when there are higher doctors and nurses out there who never really get chance to go home and see their families and loved ones.” You said squeezing his hand back and kissing his soft lips to reassure him how much you love him.

“Here why don’t I finish dinner and we can sit outside on the balcony and enjoy some fresh air…” Nolan said picking up the ladle. “Then we can have a little cuddle session before you have to leave for the night.”

“‘Deal.” You said in agreement, while quickly rising up onto your tippy toes to plant a kiss onto Nolan’s lips before grabbing the place settings for outside. Being a med student wasn’t easy, but it was certainly easier with Nolan by your side the whole entire time. Now being a freshly new nurse isn’t easy either especially during this pandemic time, but again it was certainly a lot easier with Nolan by your side.

Nolan brought out dinner and you two just shared the moment that you were in. Eating a great dinner together while enjoying each other’s company and looking off into the cities sun. Every now and then you would glance over and give Nolan an adorable look and smile. He would try to give you the same reassuring glance back, but you knew there was something off with him. His eyes didn’t have that sparkle or shine to them like they normally do and it worried you.

After dinner, you joined Nolan in the lounge chair that he was sitting on and crawled in between his legs so your back was snuggled up to his chest and he could tightly wrap his arms around you.

“I can’t wait for this new normal to be over. I can’t wait to actually get my diploma and hopefully have an actual ceremony or at least party to celebrate my hard work with our friends and family. I can’t wait to see what an actual regular day of work is going to look like, a day where I don’t have to wear protective gear 24/7 and have to social distance myself from everything and everyone that I love.”

“Can’t wait for that too...” Nolan said barely above a whisper

Nolan’s voice alarmed you, you spun around so you were facing him. You looked up at Nolan and could see a sea of tears forming in eyes and a few slightly falling down his face.

“Nolan, baby are you okay, baby what’s wrong you’re worrying me.” You said grabbing onto his shoulder and running your hand through his hair.

“No..I’m not okay y/n... I’m scared...I’m scared as hell.” He said mumbling

“Scared about what Nols? Baby please talk to me; you’re really worrying me here. I have never seen you like this.” You said wiping a tear away from his face

“I’m scared to death of losing you Y/N. Ever since this virus has gotten more and more out of control it has frightened me more each and every single day. Every time you walk out of our door it kills me not knowing if that will ever be the last time that I get to see your face, hold you and kiss you. I’m so damn afraid that one of these days you aren’t going to be walking through those doors again and right into my arms. I can’t imagine my life without you Y/N, I’m so incredibly proud of you don’t get me wrong you’re a fucking super hero in my eyes but you’re also my girlfriend who I’m madly in love with who one day I hope to make my wife and the mother of my children. It’s like I need that reassurance to know that every time you leave to fight this virus that you’ll be able to come home back to me. It's why I have arguments with my mother on daily occasions about why I decided to stay here instead of flying back home because of the season being postponed. It’s because in reality I could never live with myself if I did that and god forbid something happened to you and I wasn’t here and I couldn’t get to you! It’s why I leave you little notes with a rose in the bathroom so when you come home you know that I was thinking about you the whole entire time you were on the front lines at work. As much as you hate not being able to sleep properly lately, I kind of love it because I can be there to protect and comfort you through it all y/n. I feel better when I have you tightly in my arms, I feel better when I’m able to look at you from a far, I feel better when I can play with your hair and kiss your lips. Over all I’m a better person when I am with you, if you don’t believe ask Travis and Carter, they have heard it all.” Nolan said full on breaking down at this point

You have never seen Nolan this vulnerable before, in all the years that you have been dating. It killed you to see this side of him, you never realized how much this was also affecting him until now.

You grabbed his face with both of your hands and kissed him like you have never kissed him before. You pulled away and leaned your forehead against his and wiped away a few more tears. “Nolan Patrick, I promise you I will always come back home to you.” You said looking straight into those gorgeous eyes that you love so much.

You looked at the clock and saw that it was 7:05 in the morning, you were hoping to run into your boss so she can give you the all clear to head home. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen until a few hours and a break down alone in the hall way later. Your one coworker made sure to give Nolan an update every so often to let him know and that you were alright even though you weren’t. But she didn’t want to worry him anymore than he already was, plus she did it since you were too busy running around and forgot to leave your phone on the charging station to charge.

One O’clock...One O’clock in the afternoon that is the time that the clock read when you were able to finally clock out for the day. An eighteen-hour shift was way more than enough that you could ever possibly handle. You looked into the mirror and could barely recognize the woman staring back at you. It wasn’t you, this woman had dark bruised circles and lines around and under her eyes. This woman had broken and cracked lines on her cheek bones, where her mask had laid and dug into her. The only good thing that is coming out from these past horrific days is that your boss was giving you the next few days off to rest and compose yourself.

You drove yourself home and the moment you parked your car in the garage exhaustion took a new total on you. You didn’t member the elevator ride up to your floor, you didn’t remember walking down the hall to your apartment door and noticing all of the lovely and cute little notes that the children on your floor made for you and hung on the front door for you to see every day. You didn’t remember walking in and taking off your shoes and heading straight to the bathroom to take your routine hot shower. The only thing that brought you back to normal thought and time was the strong arms of Nolan wrapping you up tight into his arms while leaning next you on the cool bathroom floor.

“Shh, let it all out baby. It’s okay y/n I’m here..I’m here. Just please talk to me.” Nolan said while kissing your hair and rubbing your shoulder

“In the eighteen hours that I have worked I have seen way too many deaths than I ever wanted to see in my life Nolan. People are dying alone..because their loved ones aren’t allowed to come in contact with them. Its people of all ages young and old. Some I stood by their side because it broke my heart that they were dying alone. I broke down in a hallway at work, because I don’t understand how we are going to continue to fight this. You aren’t the only one who is completely scared to death, I am too. I am scared just as much as you are about not being able to return home and being able to crash into your arms. Nurses are already starting to get tested for the virus in different departments and floors and I’m so worried that soon we will have to be tested. I’m trying not to think of the worse, but what if I get tested and I’m positive I can’t imagine never being able to see or talk to you again. You deserve so much better”

Nolan brushed a piece of hair behind your ear, brushed the falling tears away from your cheek with his thumb and turned your face so you were looking right at him. “Don’t think like that baby, you are one strong woman. Each and every single day I find more and more reasons to fall in love with you. This pandemic made me realize to appreciate and love the little things in life more, to hold and adore your loved ones a lot closer. I can’t imagine what you and your staff are going through day in and day out but know that I will always be here waiting for you, so I can ease your mind and try my best to take it all away from you. If anyone deserves better it’s you y/n, I’m just a bonehead professional hockey player. But you, you are a talented young woman changing the world every single time you out walk of this apartment. Here come with me, I have something I want to show you and I think that it will make you feel a lot better.” Nolan said picking you up and carrying you into your guys bedroom and placing you onto the bed.

Nolan took out his iPad and handed it over to you and started playing a video for you. It was a video that the entire Flyers team put together thanking you for everything that you are doing during this crazy and difficult time. Even Gritty made a special appearance for you in the video which told made you light up and giggle. They even went on and talked about how such an amazing person you are and how much you mean to not only Nolan but to them as well. They were so grateful and thankful for you and it warmed your heart so much to hear them say it. The video ended with Nolan obviously getting emotional about much he is so proud of you and how he can’t believe that you were willing to get your degree early and risk your entire life just to save others without any hesitation.

Once the video ended you looked at Nolan and thanked him, this is what you needed to help you get through these times.

“I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us, if we can get through this together than we sure can get through anything in life together.” You said leaning in and closing the gap between you with a kiss

“As long as I have you in my arms, I don’t care where life take us. I realized that as long as you’re in my life that I have officially won no what matter. You’re my absolute everything y/n and I wouldn’t change it in a heartbeat.” Nolan said cupping your cheek and kissing you passionately

Nolan was right, as long as you had each other you knew you were always going to be safe and have strong arms to come decompose home too.

#Nolan Patrick #Philadelphia Flyers #Nolan blurb #nolan patrick imagine #philadelphia flyers imagine #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #flyers hockey #thank you nurses and doctors

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