#“i'm starting to think i should go to therapy”-the guy who talks to himself most of the time

[zimtlees]

Intrusive thoughts

[annabelle--cane]

there's a lot going on in the mag 58 supplemental, this one little scene does a lot of heavy lifting to set up martin and tim's arcs for the rest of the show, but I want to focus on these lines particularly because of how therapy comes back as a symbol in s4/s5.

broadly, in the context of the meta plot and not the individual statements, seeking therapy in tma is representative of trying to improve oneself and get out of a bad situation. later, when taking melanie to therapy, georgie suggests that jon should get some as well but, when asked, says she wouldn't be willing to escort him like she does with melanie, showing how she does wish the best for jon in theory but doesn't think he actually wants to get better, or at least that she's not sure enough to involve herself with him.

that view of jon doesn't come from nowhere, because here we have an instance of him rejecting that same offer, symbolically rejecting help in favor of digging himself deeper on his own (obligatory disclaimer that irl therapy is a very personal thing and says nothing about one's overall character, this is just an examination of a motif in fiction). the word choice of "he just says no" imo implies that martin has suggested this multiple times and jon keeps giving the same answer, continually reaffirming that he does not want outside assistance to pull him out of this spiral.

the fact that martin's the one advocating to go soft on jon despite repeated refusals for more sympathetic help is interesting to me, because I would guess that this conversation was instigated by jon aggressively confronting martin about trevor herbert two episodes earlier. we know he was stalking all three of his assistants, but that is the biggest and most threatening outburst we get from jon in this period, and in this conversation it is still martin being defensive and apologetic vs tim being frustrated and pissed off.

I've said recently that I'm pretty sure martin believed jon was self harming and/or suicidal at this point, so I can see why he would be particularly willing to give jon slack and try to prevent any big conflicts, but that still contributes to his current narrative role of "guy who is treated the worst but ignores it because he's also the guy who cares the most." in that way, he's a foil for georgie; she cares, sure, but not enough to ignore (perceived) risks. martin pushes for jon to get therapy even as he lashes out and rejects help, and georgie won't involve herself when jon asks if she'd be willing to help him see a therapist.

this motif comes back around for a final complication in s5, when laverne, melanie's therapist, winds up as part of her cult. melanie's effort to get better and get out did have lasting effects, she is separated from the watcher/watched system and is coping a whole lot better than she would have before, but those personal efforts still weren't enough to fully get her out of the whole mess. no amount of individual action could remove her from this structural problem, her therapist helped her a lot but also now thinks she's a prophet.

which also comes back to the above scene. tim and martin both write off elias as useless in this situation, so they start sniping at each other and talking about how to stop jon from doing what he's doing without even really lingering on how the guy who is actually in charge and has power over them all is making it worse by neglecting his managerial duties. I'm sure jon could have done with some therapy at this point, but that would have only dealt with, like, 10% of the archive gang's current problems.

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 4 - MONTH 3 - GROWING PAINS

First - Prev - Next

Everything hurts.

I started noticing it about two weeks after my first dose. It felt like a dull headache at first, but over the next month it spread to pretty much my entire body.

I had to start working from home, and eventually it got bad enough that I could only put in a few hours of work each day. My boss is a reasonable enough guy, but he wasn't going to pay a full time salary for part time hours, so I had to take a salary cut.

Luckily, my partner is around to take care of daily errands, not to mention being there to reassure and comfort me when the pain gets bad. They've been thinking about seeing if Lindwurm HRT is a thing, but they don't want to get the process started until I'm in the clear and can take care of myself again.

Gods I love them.

The reason the pain is happening, as best I can tell, is that my skeletal structure is already changing. I've gotten at least an inch taller, and my face has been reshaping into a feline muzzle. My teeth are getting sharper, and I'm developing proper fangs. I also noticed a little while ago that my fingernails and toenails had receded into their respective digits, which sucks for two reasons - I can't paint fingernails I don't have, and they are sore as HELL when I put any amount of pressure on them. I have to be REALLY careful with how I type to not inflict agony on myself. I'm also feeling my tail growing in, and even if it hurts, it's euphoric as HELL. A tail was always the part I wanted most out of this.

It's weird, the skeletal changes weren't supposed to happen this early. I've been trying to reach Dr. Erian about it, but he's constantly busy, probably because of the sudden surge of people looking for Humanity Removal Therapy.

Other than that, I've been getting areas of white and black fur coming in - mostly on my arms and legs, but a little bit on my face and ears - ears that are gradually reshaping and migrating. Nothing to report on hearing sensitivity, but I think my night vision is getting better.

I did a little bit of looking around for anyone with similar pain experiences. I got my hopes up when I found a girl, Antonina, who had a painful experience with Cat HRT, but it turns out it's because she took the rumoured Fifteen Minute version. She described the pain as "like bathing in an active volcano".

It leaves me wondering whether I would have preferred a 15-minute lava bath over a months-long full-body headache.

I ended up reaching out to her anyway, just because I wanted to know what I was in for in the endgame and feline HRT is rarer than I thought it would be. Sounds like the prey drive is the real deal - she keeps feeling the urge to bite this one girl who's on mouse HRT.

We've been spending some time comparing notes and getting to know each other. It's nice to know someone else who's going through this thing, even if our experiences aren't exactly one-to-one.

I also talked to my mother for the first time in nearly a year. I went No Contact with her a while back because she was only getting more obnoxious and combative about me being trans, but I figured changing my species is a big enough deal that I should keep her in the loop.

Besides, my savings had nearly dried up and I needed to ask her for money.

It… did not go well. She hadn't heard of therian HRT before, and once I explained it, she started panicking about how I'm "mutilating my body" with "untested treatments". I think I also heard her cry something about how her "son" is "killing himself", which is just multiple layers of insensitive.

At least she sent me some money. Hopefully it'll be enough to last until my transformation stops being agonizing and I can go back to work, and then I can go right back to pretending my family doesn't exist.

At roughly the three-month mark, I have a check-in video call with Dr. Erian. From the moment his face appears on screen, though, I can tell something is wrong. He seems… older, somehow.

"Hello, Miss Alexis.", he offers. He sounds tired. Sorrowful, even.

"Hey, doc." I have to ask about it. "Everything okay? You seem a bit tired."

"Nothing to worry about Miss Alexis, just the ordinary stresses of daily life."

Liar. I know I'm not entitled to details of your personal life, much less your professional secrets, but I know when something is eating at someone.

"…Does the word 'crossroads' mean anything to you, Miss Alexis?"

Huh? That came a bit out of left field. "I've… heard some other therian HRT patients use the term, but I don't know much of the details. Something about a point of no return?"

"Something of the sort." He lowers his head and seems to go from sorrowful to downright grim. "There will come a time, Miss Alexis, when you will have to make a very important decision in your care, and I ask that you do so with great consideration for the consequences."

I recoil a little in my seat. "Yeah… Of course I will. Any decision I make, even reaching out to you in the first place, I don't take it lightly."

"Good… That's good." His demeanor shifts back to his stoic, clinical self. I don't know what just happened, but he went somewhere for a moment there.

"Now then, I did receive your messages, I apologize for not getting back to you. You mentioned you were experiencing persistent and debilitating whole-body soreness?"

"Yeah. I can't even leave the apartment most days, it hurts so much."

"Odd… You are taking the treatment as directed, yes?"

"Of course. One tablespoon a week, just like it says on the bottle."

I see his eyes twitch behind his glasses. Did I say something wrong?

"…Teaspoon."

I cock my head to the side. "Say again?"

"You mean one TEASPOON a week, yes?"

I feel my heart sink. The dark smear on the dosage information… I could have sworn it said '1 tbsp/week'.

"…Could you hold on a second please?" I mute the mic and call out to my partner to bring the bottle of tiger HRT over. When they do, I unmute and hold it up to the webcam. I hear Dr. Erian take a sharp intake of breath as he notices the obscured instructions.

I set the bottle aside and the two of us share an awkward silence.

"So…", I begin. "…How bad is it?"

"The good news", he offers slowly, "is that you have only been taking three times the prescribed dose. An increased dose imbalances the growth rate of the different parts of your body, hence your pain and persistent weakness, but it could have been much worse."

I think back to the so-called Fifteen Minute version, and Antonina's description of it - like bathing in an active volcano.

Dr. Erian continues. "Assuming you return to a CORRECT dose, your growth rates will gradually level out over the course of the next month or so. It is my medical opinion that you should maintain a low-activity lifestyle until then, but you will eventually be able to return to your typical activity level, and you will also find that the physical effects become more… consistent."

"That's… reassuring. Thank you, doctor." I pause. Something I noticed a little while ago has been weighing on my mind. "There's one thing, though - do the treatments have… I guess you'd call them restorative or regenerative effects? I've noticed some old wounds aren't there anymore."

The doctor clicks his pen and brings up his notepad. "Interesting. Do go on, Miss Alexis."

"Well… I used to get lower back pain from a car crash injury I got a little over a year ago, but I haven't noticed it at all lately. Pretty much the only part that DOESN'T hurt… There also used to be some marks on my arm from a cat biting me when I was little." I give a slight smile. "The cat's name was Tiger, go figure."

Dr. Erian is writing the whole time I'm talking. "Yes, that is to be expected. Minor persistent injuries will fade over time as your body re-forms itself to a new baseline, even severe chronic symptoms may fade. If there are no other concerns…"

"Just one… Most of the other therian HRT patients I've talked to have gotten their meds as pills, so what's with the potion bottle?"

Dr. Erian pauses, and adjusts his glasses nervously, as if he's been caught out on something he doesn't want to admit to. "Well… advances in the field are occurring rapidly, and you are one of the more recent patients, so a more… streamlined option was available to you. I took the liberty of choosing the most compatible option based on your medical records, and that bottle is it."

"Okay… But what's IN it?"

"The active ingredients are antihominidone, which is your humanity-blocker, and a specialized formula of felistrogen, infused with white tiger genetic material. The rest of the fluid is a suspension used to dilute the effects, without which you would be looking at a short, but excruciating and potentially lethal process."

The Fifteen Minute version, I think to myself. I'm taking diluted Fifteen Minute meds. There's no WAY this isn't experimental, and I'M the experiment. I despise saying it, but maybe my mother was right to worry.

"But I'm afraid I really do have to go, Miss Alexis, my next appointment is waiting."

"G-gotcha. See ya, doctor."

---

Special thanks to @paintedbytosia for letting me write her in, and shoutout to @megamoonerjenny for coming up with 'antihominidone'

[syn4k]

Well damn, Mumbo was back.

Evil Xisuma didn't have a comms device of their own. They figured this out because the man himself flew up to them asking about diamonds.

"Uhh, hello, X?"

"What?" they asked, turning around to see a very nervous Mumbo (oh, who were they kidding, he was always nervous) standing behind them, holding a shulker box.

"Oh, you're not- my bad," he said, stepping backwards. "Sorry. I thought you were Xisuma."

"That's a first," muttered EX. "How the Hels did you fuck up that badly?"

"Right, you can swear," sighed Mumbo. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I just- do you know where X is?"

"Nope."

"Okay," said Mumbo. "Do you think you'd be able to help me with-" [he waved his free hand vaguely] "diamond stuff?"

EX had zero idea how this man found them, or what the hell he wanted, or even why he was talking to them at all. Most Hermits just avoided this part of the Nether, and let them do their thing. But here Mumbo was, just standing there, diamonds in hand. Sure. Why not.

"Elaborate," they said, leaning back against the wall.

"Okay," started Mumbo. "I left the server a few months back to go on a trip, right?"

"Allegedly."

"When I- when I left, I was the richest Hermit. And then I got back, and I thought well I'm definitely not the richest Hermit anymore, but then I checked in my vault and there was substantially more diamonds in there than I remember?"

"What does any of this have to do with me or X?" asked EX flatly. At this point, they were just considering telling him to shove off and let them continue building this wall. This was a waste of time.

"I was wondering," said Mumbo, looking anywhere but their face (did this man go to therapy for anxiety? EX sure hoped he did. This was embarrasing.), "if you had perhaps lost any?"

What the fuck?

"I know you haven't been around," said Mumbo with a sigh, "but this is why I was looking for X first, and I just got really lost on my way there, and maybe there might be a chance that you-"

EX paused him with a wave of their hand. "You are smoking warped mushrooms if you think I have been anywhere close to the Overworld," they said, walking closer. "If this had been any other person, or any other situation, I would have said that oh yeah, I took your puny little diamonds, but this? I'm not even going to pretend that I have. Come on. Seriously, how did you get all the way out here?"

"I thought it was worth a shot," said Mumbo, stepping back two paces and almost tripping over a dint in the netherrack. "Since, y'know, that was sort of your whole thing in season 8-"

EX sighed. "We don't talk about season 8."

"Sorry."

There was a dead silence of about 10 seconds in which EX turned back around and continued building the wall. Hearing no footsteps or rockets, they turned back around and raised an eyebrow. "X's portal is about three thousand blocks southwest of here. If you want to make it before the sun goes down in the Overworld- maybe it's already set, who knows- you should probably get on it."

Mumbo cleared his throat. "Uh. Yeah that'd be good. Thanks?"

"Do you go to therapy for anxiety?"

"What?"

"You need therapy. Get out of my swamp."

Mumbo nodded and, almost dropping the shulker box, flew off in the direction that EX had specified.

They watched him go for a while longer, hands on hips. What a guy. What a weird fucking guy.

[minhosimthings]

Skz when you reveal to them that you used to be a stripper/pole dancer

Synopsis: Just some headcanons about boyfriend Skz. Reader is female

Warnings: Smut, fluff, suggestive. Seungmin's is comfort. Im sorry Changbin and Innie's are so short!

A/N: guys I'm telling you writing this was therapy. Im gonna try to do more headcanons because I like writing these a but more than I like writing actual fics! Anyway please enjoy this! And feel free to give feedback!

Bang Christopher Chan

He'd be ok with it. Like so chill. But I have a tingling that he'd remember it sometimes, and ask you about it, whenever he needs to release his frustration.

The front door slammed roughly against its edges, as your boyfriend Chan, walked in throwing his bag to the floor roughly. His gaze avoided yours, as he slumped down on your red couch and held his head in his hands, rubbing his temples slowly. It was definitely one of those days, when every melody in Chan's insomniac mind, seemed like boring mathematical figures instead of pretty flowing colours on a water filled palette. "Rough day baby?" You asked him, silently putting his dinner down on the table. He sighed quietly and started eating his dinner. Oh that's how he wanted to play is it? The silent treatment. Not wanting to unload his emotions on you because he felt guilty later on. You knew enough about this habit of his to know exactly what to do when exactly what to do. You smiled sweetly at him and disappeared into your shared bedroom.

Oh fuck did he mess up? Chan's thoughts were spinning through his head like an electron. Shit he should have talked to you. Chan got up and put his plate in the sink and grabbed two cupcakes from the fridge, which you both had made the day before (correction: felix made them you guys decorated them). "Babygirl? Where are you?" Chan got into the dark void which was your bedroom. Searching for the lights, Chan switched on the red party light you had in the bedroom. "Hey Channie." Chan's jaw dropped to the ground. There you were, wearing your old stripper uniform, Red devil horns and all, looking like the most expensive thing in the room. If Chan was an angel, he would definitely fall from heaven, just to be with your devilish form. "Baby, w-whats this?" Chan came forward as you grabbed his collar and shoved him into the bed. "Shh baby. Just enjoy it." You whispered in his ear, as you started your old dancing routine, while Chan watched on, silently asking the universe, why it hadn't shown you to him earlier.

Lee Minho

Dude. He'd be so fucking ecstatic that it's kinda scary. As a dancer himself, he would like the idea of having a partner who can dance as well as him (and maybe even better.) He would inculcate your steps in some of his dances and sometimes both of you would silently fuck in the studio.

"Jagiya I don't know what to add here." Minho was nudging your shoulder, while both of you stood in his personal dance room. The guys had left you all alone, since he had been stuck there since the morning, trying to figure out a choreo to the new slut anthem that 3Racha had made for DanceRacha (yes I am still not over taste). While Felix and Hyunjin had tried to help, they knew that the only person who could get Minho out of this dancer's block was you. You watched Minho's dance over and over again, trying to think of something good to add to it. "Min, how about you take a break baby? You're really tired and we all know your PaboRacha brain can't work on just water and orange juice. How about you eat some of the pudding I brought?" Minho looked at you with a pout, as you looked at him sternly. The pout wasn't going to work when you wanted your boyfriend to feel better and he didn't want to feel better. "Jagiya-" Minho began to whine as he wrapped his arms around your waist, trapping you in what was the best prison in the world. "How about we dance together for a bit hmm? Just a little duet?" "If I do this, will you eat and rest?" Minho was quick to nod his head, as you sighed and took off your jacket to reveal the lacy black bra you had on underneath. "I was going to surprise you with this when we get home. But since you wanted to dance, let's dance baby." Minho's entire world stopped. That was the bra he had gifted you, when you first told him you used to work in a gentlemen's club as a dancer. The slow, sensual music started as Minho slowly touched your waist and both of you moved your hips in syncronicity, the cotton of his shirt grinding against the lace of your bra. One step forward, then another to the side and then one lowering down to Minho's legs as he looked on, mesmerised. "God you're so fucking hot kitten. You never let any of them touch you at the club right?" You let out a hum in response to Minho's question as you noticed the bulge in his black trousers, which you began to unzip. "Good" he growled in your ear, as he nibbled it with his bunny teeth, "they shouldn't touch what's mine."

Seo Changbin

Oh my god, he would immediately question you about it so much. Like baby would be so curious about it. He'd buy you so much shit at Victoria's Secret or something, that you'd question why you ever told him about your old job.

"Baby baby that one!" Yet again, your boyfriend Changbin had rushed towards a shelf, while you stood in the huge (and expensive) Victoria's Secret store. Changbin had taken you here immediately after you told him you used to be a stripper and showed him your old costume. "Baby will this fit you?" He held up a lacy blue bodysuit, entwined with fake jewels. "Binnie, baby this is expensive." You looked at the price tag nervously. Changbin rolled his eyes and called the store worker. He handed her a card from his wallet, while saying "Whatever we buy goes on the black card." Rolling your eyes, you went over to the swimsuits, hoping to see something that you can surprise your boyfriend with.

Hwang Hyunjin

Two words. His muse.

"Jinnie how much longer?" You whined as you shifted a bit on the wooden stool, while Hyunjin sat in front of you, blue stained paintbrush in hand, star shaped eyes focused on the canvas in front of him. "Just a minute more, my muse. And could you move your hand to the left please?" He had been begging for you to let him paint you ever since he found your lingerie and you had to tell him about what you used to do before you became an architect. Of course you had said yes to him, after a week of begging and him trying to bribe you with food (spoiler alert: it worked). You donned your most favourite costume, a baby pink one, which was fluffy and had detachable angel wings. Perfect for Hyunjin. Perfect for the artist who used soft colours to paint those who he loved. "Hwang Hyunjin if you're not done in five minutes, the blood flow to my hand is going to stop and I'm going to die." Hyunjin looked at you, amusement all over his perfectly carved face. "Using the government name are we my muse? And I'm done already I was just looking at those nice little tits bouncing around in that costume." A smirk spread on his face, as you raised an eyebrow and carefully got down from the stool, walking towards his canvas. God he had painted you so pretty, with blues and pinks outlining your figure, a green cutting in for shade and flowers adorning your body. "You know my muse, I am an ambassador for Versace. I can't wait to get you the most prettiest scarves, which you can wear and fuck yourself. Maybe I can join you afterwards after I'm finished with my painting of this amazing fucking body." You smirked at him, taking the paintbrush away from his hand, slowly sliding into his lap and kissing him full on the mouth. Oh there was about be a lot more than just paint in that studio tonight.

Han Jisung

Congratulations you have officially broken him. I mean he will be really shocked In the beginning and basically be like Changbin, asking questions and all, but then later on both of you basically forget about it, until it comes to help in his studio.

Ten am. That was the time Chan had called you and told you about the current condition of your boyfriend Han Jisung, the condition being overworking again. This was the fifth time this month that Chan had to call you to take your boyfriend home from writing tens of thousands of beautiful lyrics on paper and experimenting with the sounds on Chan's laptop. Sighing to yourself, you got up grabbed your keys and helmet, and zoomed off to the JYP building on your Harley.

"Jisungie baby?" You called out his name, slowly entering the studio, to see a messy haired boy, dressed in a black hoodie, head in his hands, headphones lying abandoned at the side. He turned slowly in his chair to face you, and your heart dropped when you saw the dark circles under his eyes. "I can't do this anymore Y/N. I feel like all the lyrics make no sense and- and I feel so fucking stupid." Being quick to cup his face in your hands, you softly wiped away the solitary tear on his face. "Baby Hey look at me look at me now please." Round quokka eyes looked at you as you slowly unzipped your leather jacket. "How about I give you a bit of inspiration hm? Will you come home then?" Jisung's brain had stopped working. There you were, all dolled up in a green suit with the sluttiest bra in this world, all for him. Slowly snaking an arm around your waist, and leaving wet kisses around your exposed collarbone, Jisung took you to the recording area, ready to record your moans, just for some inspiration.

Lee Felix Yongbok

Oh my god he would be so FLUSTERED. Like he'd have to hide in the bathroom in order to hide his burning face.

"Lixie you good in there?" Your boyfriend Felix was currently hiding in the kitchen of your apartment. You had finally told him about your old job when you were playing truth or dare (although mostly it was truth or truth) and his reaction was....adorable. His entire face had turned red as he stuttered and quickly went out of the room to the kitchen where you knew he was stress baking or more like shock baking. "Yeah! Im totally fine!" Yep he was baking, face still red, apron worn upside down, and icing on his nose and talking with an unusually high pitch. You walked up to and wiped the icing off of his nose. "Baby I can clearly notice the bulge in your pants you know that right?" You asked him to which he responded with a low mumble if the word 'sorry'. "It's alright baby. By the way, what do you think I show you my old gear?" Never before had you seen your boyfriend have this much fear and excitement filling his eyes. "Really?" You nodded to his question as he got out a tray of brownies from the oven and put them on the table, covering them with a cloth. You reached out for one but he slapped your hand. "The brownies can wait sunshine." His voice was sultry and low again as he wrapped his arms around your neck. "I wanna see that nice costume of yours."

Kim Seungmin

Bruh he would be so chill. Like zero reaction. Literally.

"Pup I- I need to tell you something and I want your full attention." You had finally gathered the courage to tell your boyfriend Seungmin about your old job at the gentlemen's club when you were in college. He would eventually find the devil tails and high red heels which had the words 'for the eyes only' on them. Kim Seungmin was a Rubik's cube. You couldn't ever predict what he was going to do or what he was going to feel. So naturally your ass was a nervous Trainwreck when you decided to finally tell him. "What is it bub? Is it about the burnt toast I left on the terrace? Cause I told you the crows just like the toast extra crisp." Seungmin told you, putting down his book and adjusting his sage sweater, and allowing his arms to wrap around your body, which was currently draped in his hoodie. "No sweetie it's not that. It's something more serious and- and if you don't like what I'm about to say, it's ok if you break up with me." Seungmin frowned a bit and nudged his head in your neck, making you smile. "I- I used to be a stripper at the local gentlemen's club when I was eighteen to pay my bills. I don't do it anymore but I thought you should know since my old gear is still lying around somewhere in this mess of an apartment. And- and maybe if you found it one day, I thought maybe you- you'll leave me or- or You don't know what caused tears to come out of your eyes but they did and they weren't stopping. "Bubba shh. Hey look at me. Look at me it's alright." Seungmin shushed you as he put your head on his chest, stroking your hair as you calmed down, hearing his heartbeat. "Bub I really wouldn't care if you were a goddamn homeless person before. You're successful now aren't you? And all those things you did to reach here? Im proud of those bub. So please don't cry. It's breaking my heart." You sniffled a bit and looked up at your caramel haired boyfriend to give him a kiss, and wrap yourself more tightly in his arms, feeling safe and content. "So can I see that gear maybe?" "Kim Seungmin!"

Yang Jeongin

Dude I really don't know. This man would be a combination of all the members. You tell him about this and he'll go through every human emotion to ever exist.

"Innie? Innie." Jeongin just sat there frozen on the couch, not chewing the chips which were trapped in his mouth. "Oh my god Jeongin! Yah!" You snapped your fingers in front of him. "Wh-What yeah I'm here. Im Jeongin yes and you're y/n, my girlfriend whom I love, and also who I want to see in her costume right now." His confused face turned into a smirk, as he stopped with his rambling. "I'll show you soon baby. Do you wanna, uh, swallow the chips in your mouth now." You asked him as he quickly swallowed the chips and contorted his face into a pout. "I wanna see it now!" He whined. You sighed and got up to get, your boyfriend tailing you like a lost puppy. Yep. Definetly the maknae on top.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

okay legit question. and i'm eager to have this discussion. can you help me understand why you think that izzy scene was comedic? if it's purely based on those pathetic whimpers he made at the end of the scene, i'm honestly not convinced. god knows i've made pathetic noises like that when i've been genuinely upset about something. yeah that shit's awkward but isn't dismissing the noise as comedic sort of relying in the expectation that drama should be pretty?

and this ask wasn't meant to sound dismissive of your opinion btw, or defensive of izzy. (i love that weird and evil little freak for being a weird and evil little freak and thats all.) i'm just confused as to how that scene could be read that way.

Ok so lets start off with that in season 1 Izzy is not granted like even a shred of sympathy in any similar situation. We've seen this man cry before and when it happened Ed and Stede were making sex noises in the background and there was a jaunty little tune over it. Generally when writers and directors want us to be sympathetic to a character they build an emotional connection to that character and they just haven't done that for Izzy.

But moving onto the scene itself: This is the extended joke set up in season one of the disconnect of treating a pirate ship like workplace with HR. They're having like an intervention for Izzy and using the words "unhealthy relationship" and "toxic" to talk about toe chopping, which is excellent. I know the internet vernacular has kind of made these the go to words but you get how "toxic relationship unhealthy boundary setting" is not generally how television characters talk about stuff like this. Jim and Frenchie are out here using modern therapy words.

Then Archie starts talking about how much Rhino Horn Ed does which is incredible. they could have said he's doing weed, they could have said he's doing opium, they could have said he's doing a more modern drug, ofmd doesn't shy away from that, but instead they went with the most esoteric ye olde Viagra pull ever. Ed's doing fucking RHINO HORN???? Superb.

Then there's the the fact that Izzy clearly hates every second of it. Like these teddy bear capybara friend shaped men (Fang and Frenchie) are just like "hey you ok bro?" to a guy who HATES expressing any emotions so much that he spend like a whole season trying to stop Ed from doing it. Like you can feel how bad he wants to throw himself overboard from embarrassment

Then there's Fang. Dionysus an Emmy for that man. He pats Izzy on the shoulder and then Izzy pushes him away with the weakest I'm fine in history and then he goes in and gives him a hug from behind which is very much reminicent of like a hold a medical professional would use to subdue someone who is a danger to themselves or others without harming them. And then he just starts rocking him

And then there's the actual breakdown itself. I want to preface this with that I understand that in real life you might make some weird noises during a breakdown. But this is not real life. Usually when actors have breakdowns on stage or tv they have to decide what choices they're going to make. You can do a pretty cry, you can go overdramatic and comedic, you can make the audience uncomfortable in a veriety of ways. What Con has chosen here is air being let out of a balloon, He snorts like a pig, he whimpers. You know when you blow up a balloon and you pull the valve tight and it makes a screaming sound. His choice to heem heem whimper is histerical. And then he makes the sound and fang gives out a soft "am I crushing you" as if Fang thinks he's making the noise because of physical discomfort.

and then like everyone else's reactions. They're all so uncomfortable. Fang is like It's all right it's all right while Jim looks to Archie like "are you seeing this?" and Archie looks back and forth between them and then Frenchie is doing this with his face

and then there's the music. My god the music is just the sappiest shit ever over this??? like the whole thing is hillarious. Emmys for all of them

Edit: I forgot the funniest part. This whole thing is this Tweet

[my-pjo-stuff]

I already talked with @mrfandomwars about this on Discord but yk what personally cracks me up as a German? Yk what fucks me up just thinking about it? Luke would probably have been fine had the guy been German.

Unirnonically. I am completely serious with this statement. Hear me out,

"Why would you say that?" you ask? Well, easy. May Castellan (among other things) would not have slipped the system. Listen, nothing against her- god knows that he is a loving mother by all means- but we all know she wasn't fit to raise her son. May Castellan and her fate is (in my honest opinion) the root trauma of Luke and what started up his resentment towards the gods with would grow in the future. Not only was Luke failed by the gods as a whole there, but he was also failed by US society as a whole. The system of child protective services of the US did not notice May and her unfitness to raise her son, which left Luke completely at her mercy. And now why do I say he would have turned out better had Luke been German? Well, let me explain. I am German, and as such I can explain to you that over here in Germany we have a little something called compulsory school attendance. May Castellan, due to her mental state, more likely than not wasn't really able to enroll Luke into a normal school. In the US where homeschooling is allowed happens that didn't really raise any red flags.

But in Germany? Luke not enrolling in a public or private school would have caused red flags to rise (unless he just straight up wasn't documented at birth, which I doubt since at that time May was still of sound mind). Children from the age of 6 HAVE to visit school until either A) a certain age or B) until they finish school. That's an actual law. Luke not being enrolled would alert authorities who'd most likely visit May sooner or later should Luke remain out of school. This would have revealed May's unfit mental state, and as a result caus the Youth Welfare Office (german CBS) to take Luke in. And even if Luke had (somehow) gotten himself enrolled at school with the age of 6, the teachers most certainly would have noticed something off about his home life causing the Youth Welfare Office to visit yet again. Now I'm not gonna say that the foster system is perfect- by all means it most deffinitly is not! It never is in none of the countries of this world! But Luke at least would have gotten a therapist and a support system to some degree. Even if the poor boy would have been traumatized already by his poor mother. Luke would never have had to live on the streets in this AU. If we go with the "normal" route of Luke being adopted into or fostered a normal family he'd probably still visit Camp sooner or later though. Even if Hermes himself was the one to facilitate it. The thing is though that in this time line Luke never would have met Thalia, and never would have had to see her die. Thus eliminating another major point of hatred Luke had for the gods. He most likely wouldn't have been a year-rounder either. Considering how here he was someone to return to. The failed quest and Luke's treatment after also were a major point of hatred. Thing is, in this AU he would have returned to Germany after the summer where he most likely would have gotten some sort of therapy, or at least had a support system in place. He also would have been removed from Camp itself and brought into an environment where little to no other person would have known about Luke's quest. They wouldn't have pitied him for it. The scar could have easily been explained with an accident during summer for which he MAY have felt like he got pity, but it wouldn't have been as strong as he had in camp. Luke also would have been able to be taking a break. Put some distance between himself and the quest, aswell as with the rest of the entier immortal world. Considering Luke has been fairly well-adjusted and is on a straight-up different CONTINENT most the time Kronos may not even have found it worth it to contact him. What for? The kid has a better support system than quite a few other demigods and isn't even in camp most of the time. There are other demigods easier to manipulate who are more present to help him with his plans. Luke may visit Camp at pretty odd times too, since the German summer holidays don't always line up with the American ones. The dates vary from the different german states, but for me summer starts on the 23th of July and ends on the 1st of September. As far as I know the American summer holidays start somewhere in May already. Why am I saying this? Well, Luke being at Camp at relatively odd times (where not many other demigods are also there susually) and otherwise not even being in the US would mean he probably wouldn't have been made Head Counselor of the Hermes cabin. Thus getting rid of the THIRD major factor or Luke starting his revolt since he just isn't pushed into that caretaker role where he witnesses all the neglect from the gods.

In fact, Luke most likely wouldn't even have been in camp when Percy would have arrived in TLT!

Germany has 3 different forms of schools over here who each takes a different amount of time to finish. The school taking the longest would see Luke graduate at around 18-19 years old. The same age he was in TLT. Luke after graduating most likely either would have gone off to university or would have started an apprenticeship for a job. And that's where it ends. Luke would have grown up to be a fairly normal Demigod. Of course he wouldn't have loved the gods in this. NO WAY would Luke EVER come close to even liking them. He'd still hold a grudge because of his mother. But he probably wouldn't have gone full on revolution with Kronos either. Hell he may not even have been the Hero of the Great Prophecy since he wouldn't really have had much to do with Kronos here. So, what do we take away from all this?

Luke was not only failed by the gods, but also failed the the US society and it's child protective services who overlooked May.

Anyway German Luke for the win.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Random thing about Kevin Can F**k Himself is that while that's in no way the major or even intented reading of her characther and I love what she represents to woman as a trans man I related so much with Patty.

She was exactly who I was in high school. I was deeply closeted and represed and so I acted very much like a "not like the other girls pick me". Most of my friends were asshole guys who let me hang with them but never fully belong, I was there but still in a more subservient role and only at the cost of accepting the way they putted woman down and letting them put myself down. One of my high school "friends" would exclusivaly call me Mia Khalifa unless he was using other porn actresses names to put me down, I was not even engaging in what the guys saw as "slut behavior" as an ace guy with low romantic atraction but since I was seen as woman it was a way to keep me in my place. He would joke about how I should give things to him because he was the man but also I was the one all of them came for when they needed therapy.

Not all the guys were assholes. One of them - wjo unfortunally died this year and I don't actually want to talk much about him cause I'm processing my grief and don't want to - was genuinally kind and wanted to learn, he started transphobic and changed his views, I never came out to him, a thing I deeply regret, but he would defend queer ppl when the other guys were saying shit and never treated me like less.

But most of them were. And if I complained I lost my priviledges over being "one of the guys" and was seen as week and "oh yeah you're an emotional woman". So I kept there. I was the weird kid with few friends and not only that but I felt validated, I felt gender euphoria, it was the closest I would ever had to be one of the guys and I did feel jealous of one of them for looking a lot like me (according to everyone else) but having the body parts I wanted. It was the place I felt still shitty but not as much as everywhere else. And feeling less like crap was enought.

And I'm not this almost incel totally punching bag person anymore. All my friends are queer and I'm out to them now. I don't hate myself and I don't have to fake laugh or unconfortably nod about people putting woman down for an inch of acceptance. I don't think I could ever go back to being that person. But I was where Patty is. I was the token minority of entitled guys that think the world is a sitcom. And I feel so much for her.

Because in another world I could have been Patty, I could have not had the chance to grown out of it in high school and instead be still the sad subservient "woman" that is "one of the guys" and "can take jokes" and there's very few things worse than that.

[poisonedspider]

Listening to Legally Blonde on the way to therapy because I'm being Elle for Halloween and making Kopper into Bruiser. And my first thought was.....Angel should be this instead. Then my thought was....this is Angel day to day. Plus if he was Elle he would absolutely force Vox to be Emmett.

And I'm going to tag @doublejango here because they're the only Vox I know who actually LIKES Angel. But I was listening to Chip on My Shoulder and naturally thinking of Vox and....holy shit though? This is DJs Vox (imo). Like. Okay. Make Val be Warner in the scenario. Elle (Angel) goes to a party in a bunny suit to impress him and ends up sobbing on the street and Vox just comes and is like what's up. And basically sings a whole song about how he has no social life because his entire life is hard work to get to where he is now, including not sleeping or taking care of himself and just WORK. But then if you consider it like....redemption...instead of becoming a lawyer. "with the chance you've been given, you gotta be driven as Hell." It's a redemption pep talk. It's an "you're better than you realize, you can absolutely do this."

Also the whole "though it's hardly my place to say, could it be the real thing in your way, is the very guy you're trying to impress?" ...and Vox giving Angel 2-in-1 to save time and Angie being all 😱😱😱

Plus the song after that is very Val x Angel in the context of Warner x Elle. So Much Better starts with her being like "I changed so much for you and I thought it would make you love me but it still wasn't enough." Then she gets accepted into the internship (redemption for Angel) and she's literally like "remember when we spent spring break in the hot tub every night? We said nothing else would ever feel so right, WELL THIS MIGHT." And sings about how it's better than kissing him and fucking him. Meanwhile Emmett (Vox) is just smugly in the background like HA THIS BITCH DID IT.

And then Vox and Angel fall in love instead, the end. Which based on most interps would never happen but hey DJ Paranoid saw Angel and Vox as bonding over Vals abuse sooooo?

[lemotmo]

Hi there! I hope you're having a great day.

Please bear with me because English is not my first language, I just hope I get my point across 🙏

I really enjoy your blog, I've been in the fandoms for about a year or so and I just wanted your opinion on something I have noticed in regards about how a section or the fandom treats Eddie vs how they treat Buck.

So since 7x4 happened I've seen some crazy opinions about Eddie like : "Eddie cant get together with Buck until he fixes all his issues/trauma and needs to be in therapy to be worthy or Buck. Not Buck tho, he's obviously still on the hamster wheel and has some issues on his own, he just jumped from one relationship to another in a matter of weeks but that's fine 🤷" "It will be ok for Bucktommy to be endgame because Tommy is apparently the most compelling love interest Buck ever had in the show since Tommy is such a complex character, Eddie should end alone if he doesn't get with Buck tho because apparently that's what's right for his character"

"Eddie should lost custody of Chris for making a mistake while dealing with his trauma and he should stay with Buck because Buck deserves to be his guardian more than Eddie" "BuckTommy deserves to be in a long and steady relationship and we need two seasons of them while Eddie figures himself out and maybe we can get buddie at the last episode when 911 finally ends 🤓"

I don't really understand how some "buddie" fans have this kind of opinion when they apparently "love" Eddie. Wouldn't it be easier to just admit they don't really like Eddie (which is a valid opinion) why pretend to like him?

I have some theories about why some fans treat Eddie like this but I'm a POC so for me it only means one thing 🤷

My favorite character is Buck but the way some people in the fandom treat Eddie baffles me.

You re always so kind and well-spoken that's why I enjoy reading your replies everyday. Has this fandom always treated Eddie this way or is this a recent change?

Okay Nonny, I will attempt to reply to your question as eloquently as possible, but I first I have to come out as a non native speaker (as well), non POC and non American Eddie stan. Mostly, because the last three things will most certainly affect my answer.

Let’s begin in season one. Buck was a fan favourite from the beginning. A good looking blond all-American guy with blue eyes. Couldn’t get more American than that really. He was a total himbo who scored woman after woman. At first that is all you see. He was fun and compelling to watch for some people.

I have to admit that I hated Buck’s guts in the beginning of season 1 and I thought Bobby was absolutely right to fire him. I mean, stealing the engine to have sex? Just... no. (Don't worry, these days I adore Buck.)

It was only when him and Abby started their relationship that I started to like him more. (Yes, I liked Buck/Abby. Don't hate on me for that. They had a great dynamic.) Then Abby left.

When Eddie appeared in season 2, I fell in love. So did Buck by the way. :) He was a lot more compelling to watch than Buck (for me personally) and I understood him in ways that I never quite understood Buck. That is where my Eddie love began and it is still going strong today.

So, imagine my surprise that, even as early on as season 2 and 3 there were people who didn’t quite like Eddie as much as they did Buck. Some Buddie shippers were obviously biased towards Buck.

For example, when the law suit story arc happened, these people were all supporting Buck and almost woobiefying him. While I didn’t necessarily think Buck was wrong about everything, I did think he was wrong about suing the Fire Department and blowing up his bonds with the 118 by talking about their private lives to his attorney.

When I tried to talk about this topic, it was obvious that certain individuals didn’t agree with me. Some reactions even were quite hostile. But whatever Eddie did was definitely criticised more heavily by a certain part of fandom. Eddie being angry with Buck over the law suit? Some people didn’t like that at all and even afterwards were upset because Eddie didn’t apologize. Apologize over what? It was Buck who sued the department and talked about the 118’s private lives.

I’d like to make it clear that I’m not talking about everyone in fandom. This was a group of fans that defended Buck through everything, no matter what he did. Everyone was wrong, but Buck was always right. Eddie never seemed to get the same defence.

I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t get it at first, mostly because I’m not American and my mind just didn’t go there somehow? Looking back at it now, I don’t understand why I didn’t clock it earlier. I mean, Trump building that wall at the Mexican border speaks for itself.

Anyway, that scene (I forgot the episode) where Eddie reveals being half Swedish and half Mexican to that racist who didn’t want him to treat him? That is when alarm bells first started going off in my mind. I started reading up about the topic, I read a lot of posts about it here on Tumblr about Eddie being half Mexican and generally set out to educate myself on the subject.

So yeah, ultimately I do think there are a lot of people who just like Buck better than other characters, which is fine. I love Eddie more than anyone else on the show, so who am I to judge? We all need our blorbo, don’t we? :b As long as they treat Eddie the same as Buck, it’s all fine. That is what fandom is about.

But there is a certain subset of fans, and a lot of them seem to have jumped on the BT train, that seem to constantly spew hate onto Eddie. Some of it has to do with Eddie being in the way of their ship. Some of it has to do with Ryan and people not liking him, so they transfer those emotions to Eddie.

But yes, some of it, I imagine, has to do with the fact that Eddie is a half Mexican man with the surname ‘Diaz’.

Listen, feel free to  jump into the comments to add your own opinion on this topic, but please keep it respectful towards others. Also, do correct me if I’m wrong about anything in this post. As I said, I’m not an American. Be aware that I didn’t set out to offend anyone. This is just the way I perceive the Eddie hatred in this fandom.

[kirider]

I'm gonna be the most predictable bitch on this planet, Vice and Kiriya for the ask game

I planned to only have Vice under the read more but. this absolutely got out of hand ooops :P I have much to say about the blorbos

Kiriya

First impression: He's a bunch of my favorite tropes condensed in a cool design i was doomed from the start XD

Impression now: He's one of those blorbos who lives rent free in my mind I love him so much. I think he's one of the smartest charactes in Kamen Rider tbh, not in anything specific like Sento or Philip but just as how quickly he connects dots and figures out things. They had to kill him otherwise the series would have ended too quickly XD /j But also he's just a silly guy tee hee ^w^

Favorite moment: every single time he's on screen <3 /hj But if I had to pick some specific, mmmh. Well, I have to go with Gorider bc I have a reputation to mantain, that scene when everyone is accusing Emu and he's the only one defending him is so good; the beach scene because of course we all know the beach scene; and the reveal in Tricks because ough my heart

Idea for a story: okay so. For me current Kiriya can either be OG Kiriya who is a cockroach who refuses to die, or a bugster copy of Kiriya from Chou Super Hero Taisen who deluded himself that he's the real Kiriya (I like playing around with both depending on the situation). But the second one has so much potential for angst ough. I need him and Game Hiro to talk and have Game Hiro make him confront his delusion (since they're both copies of ExAid riders but Hiro accepts that fact while Kiriya doesn't) (and by make him confront I just mean Game Hiro is being his usual brash self he absolutely did not sign up to give Kiriya therapy he's just here to check on his kid). And slightly related but would probably be in a separate continuity (unless I figure out how to connect the two), Kiriya having an identity crisis regarding this (is he the OG Kiriya or is he just a game copy?) and Emu reassuring him that he doesn't care, Kiriya is Kiriya. For the sake of everyone I'm gonna stop here but. I have many thoughts about Kiriya XD

Unpopular opinion: ...I'll be honest, I made myself such a nice bubble in this fandom that I've only seen love for Kiriya so idk what an unpopular opinion would be XD

Favorite relationship: KiriEmu of course it's KiriEmu. I also love when he interacts with Nico I think they should have interacted more :3 Also also the show is a coward for not having Kiriya and Hiro interact more c'mon-

Favorite headcanon: This is super self indulgent lol. I think he's a patological liar, but he's getting better now that he has friends to help him :3

Vice

First impression: Oh I hated him so much it's so funny XD Everytime he broke the fourth wall I was ready to fight him

Impression now: He's just a (very loud and exuberant) silly guy yay ^w^ He cares so much about his family and his friends and specifically Ikki

Favorite moment: idk if it's the favorite moment but I love the last arc of Revice , Vice is so good in that aaa çvç o|-(

Idea for a story: most of my ideas for Revice stories are more about Ikki dealing with the loss of Vice tbh, idk if I have anything Vice centric 🤔 The first part of the Blue Exorcist crossover is technically more Vice centric I guess, with Ikki being knocked out during it and Vice having to protect him. I also have an idea for a one shot not-fic where Ikki and Vice are having an off day so they just spend the whole day merged, I do have some sketches for that somewhere

Unpopular opinion: Liking Vice itself is an unpopular opinion apparenty XD Also idk if it's popular but on ao3 there's a lot of people shipping him and Ikki and that squicks me out :/ They're brothers to me

Favorite relationship: Vice and Ikki of course. Their relationship is so intresting, all the human-demon relationships are so good and unique and it's such a pity this show is not the kind of show to explore this kind of stuff because aaaaa. And the demon sibling dynamics is so good, Vice Kagerou and Lovekov is such a good trio that was underexplored. Also I love the completely made up relationship he and Tsumuri have in my mind (from when the promos for their Outsiders episode came out. I have not watched that episode yet and I am still living in headcanon only land) They're besties your honor

Favorite headcanon: Vice will not allow himself to see Ikki again. He can't deal with having to say goodbye everytime (at the end of the series and during the stage show and after the Desire Royale) and if it keeps happening one day he'll be selfish and keep Ikki for himself and away from their family and he knows Ikki wouldn't want that (even if Ikki wouldn't remember them) :)

[utilitycaster]

I'm Reading the Drizzt Novels and You Can't Stop Me: Exile

I DID knock a second book out, which means at this rate I will start reading books I haven't already read by May if we go by "two in a month" but by late March if we go by "one a week" I should probably speed this up.

Exile is much simpler plot wise and also, despite being the middle child of the Dark Elf trilogy, is the best, because it's Drizzt Depression Hours and also is our last long look at Menzoberranzan drama for a while.

So Drizzt and his lavender orbs ran away from Menzoberranzan at the end of Homeland, and Exile covers this period. Basically, being alone in the Underdark is soul-crushing, and he develops a dissociative identity he calls The Hunter who is focused on survival, but is at the risk of losing his personhood but for Guenhwyvar, who, as an astral plane summoned spirit of a panther, can only be around half a day every two days. He is fucking losing it and himself and is constantly having internal battles because he's so desperately lonely he risks being found by potentially hostile creatures but also The Hunter is like STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING and generally he is utterly miserable. I enjoy this kind of shit in fiction, so this is great.

Back in Menzoberranzan, House Do'Urden, with help from Bregan D'aerthe (more on this in a second), wrecks but doesn't fully annihilate House Hun'ett but Head Matron Baenre is like "you shall absorb House Hun'ett and take your place on the ruling council of the eight top matrons" to Malice because Lolth wills it. Why does Lolth will it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyway SiNaFay Hun'ett does NOT like this but goes along with it, pretending to be the eldest Do'Urden daughter. Briza Do'Urden, meanwhile, hates this.

Let's talk about Bregan Da'erthe because it's led by the greatest fucking guy ever: Jarlaxle. Jarlaxle is, undeniably, the most gay-coded character that has ever fucking existed. He is a bald drow man (in a matriarchal society) and exists outside the house structure, running a band of (male) rogues and mercenaries and assassins for hire and is basically making the most of his low status by being 100% only out for himself at all times. His outfit is rainbow colored in both the heat spectrum (this is how drow darkvision is explained, that they simply have infrared) AND the regular light spectrum. He owns what I think I described as boots of cuntiness which permit him to be soundless OR make sound, and canonically in a later book deliberately makes heel click sounds on a soft carpet in order to be Like That. He is generally at all times introduced as being one of a kind and out of the bounds of typical drow society and I love him.

The core of the plot actually kicks off when Malice sends Dinin and Briza (Drizzt's older brother and sister) to find him in the tunnels and kill him. They do find him, but fail to kill him, and Drizzt realizes "oh huh the highlight of my entire fucking year was my horrible siblings trying to murder me bc I'm so touch-starved that the lash of Briza's whip feels good, I should...do something about this." (He is also tormented bc he nearly breaks his vow to never kill another drow; as a paladin fan I love someone tormented by a nearly broken vow but like, babygirl they tried to kill you, you're being silly). What he does, because there's no therapy in the Underdark, is start stalking the svirfnebli, and eventually he sneaks into Blingdenstone, where they live. He turns himself in and basically gives himself over to their mercy on the grounds that he'd rather die among a relatively decent-seeming society than become more and more murderous in the tunnels. This will be echoed in a very unsubtle way by another character later.

Malice, realizing that Lolth is getting really mad that they can't seem to kill Drizzt, asks for a major boon which is inexplicably called Zin-carla, which basically lets her semi-puppet/semi-observe through the eyes of a reanimated Zaknafein, on the grounds that he is the only person who can probably kill Drizzt and also, well, it's real malicious. To do this, she sacrifices SiNaFay, which she and Briza think is just grand. Drizzt is at this time getting interrogated by gnomes who have silly names and talk a bit like Yoda, but eventually he asks about the gnome whom he spared during a patrol years ago. This gnome, named Belwar Dissengulp (this is not remotely the stupidest name in this series) vouches for him and also has sweet stone-working hands. He takes in the deeply traumatized Drizzt, who, after a brief but mercifully non-lethal Hunter outburst while hanging out with some gnome youths, starts to reacclimate to society and be like "wow so you're NOT all scheming against each other constantly? I must be in paradise." The gnomes begin to accept him as well and return his surrendered scimitars and panther, and all is very heartwarming until one day the Zakafein attacks.

This comes to the attention of the council of Blingdenstone because one of them, named Firble (also not the stupidest name in this series) is paying Jarlaxle for intel. This all travels up the line to King Schnicktick (still not the stupidest name in this series but we're getting up there) who's like Drizzt you gotta leave, and he does, but Belwar goes with him, so it's way less sad!

The rest of the book is their adventures running from Zaknafein and Drizzt being like "but my father is dead! but how" and I went long on the summary of the earlier stuff so the important things are:

They come across a pech (intelligent little rock creature) who has been polymorphed into a hook horror by an evil wizard and is losing himself and becoming the monster, in, yes, a very unsubtle and literal parallel to Drizzt. They call him Clacker and travel with him.

They run into the evil and deeply unhinged wizard who has a (written) accent I can best describe to TAZ fans as "Magic Brian" and best describe to D20 fans as "Romance Partner Baron from the Baronies." I am not an audiobook woman but I'm tempted to see how this is done in audio format.* Anyway Clacker loses himself to a rage and murders the wizard (Brister Fendlestick, not the stupidest name etc) and Drizzt is currently a fighter and Belwar has very limited abilities re: magic as well so they can't do anything about this. Also it's 2e right now so idk if you can just dispell or if you do need the original wizard.

The crew gets trapped by illithids who do their creepy-ass mind-control but as Zak is undead, he comes through like a sword tornado and unintentionally frees Drizzt, Belwar, and Clacker from their mind-slavery. Combat between our heroes, Zak, AND the illithids ensues and as Drizzt considers returning to Menzoberranzan to kidnap a wizard to help Clacker, Zak kills Clacker.

All of the above is interspersed with multiple cuts to Malice losing her shit as she focuses on controlling Zak from afar. Jarlaxle and Matron Baenre occasionally muse on the fate of House Do'Urden, which is truly up in the air as all this happens. House Baenre lends soldiers to help House Do'Urden defend itself while Malice is occupied; Dinin notices Bregan D'aerthe among them.

Drizzt and Zak have a final showdown in a cavern with ledges and also a giant pool of acid. Malice briefly loses control of Zak, who wrests control of his spirit and explains the situation to Drizzt and then jumps into the acid, ending his undeath. This is VERY bad for Malice, who is already as discussed falling apart (mostly figuratively but she has been rapidly aging as well).

Briza immediately stabs her mother to become the new Matron (Briza SUCKS but also this does make sense in that it's clear Malice has failed Lolth so it is the best chance for the house). However, House Baenre then launches its attack. Briza and Maya (who really has a very minor role in all this, Drizzt's unseen sister; fanfic writers this is some fertile ground for toxic yuri) are killed but Vierna is taken as essentially a spoil of war/powerful asset to be folded into the strength of Baenre. Dinin meanwhile is recruited by Jarlaxle, and seeing no other choice, takes it. (Fanfic writers this is some fertile ground for toxic yaoi).

Drizzt returns briefly to Blingdenstone with Belwar but is asked to leave as he did pose a threat by being there and, frankly, agrees. He decides to go to the surface with Guenhwyvar and see what happens next.

Anyway iirc book 3's most memorable things are 1. some sort of tragic event involving children who call Drizzt a "Drizzit" 2. Mooshie, who is not canonically Quebecois but is in vibes, taking Drizzt in. After that we jump to the wildly tonally different Crystal Shard (and Icewind Dale Trilogy) which I will attempt to summarize more briefly and with minimum grumbling about how much Wulfgar is a timesuck.

*apparently the guy who reads the Drizzt novels on audiobook is Victor Bevine, who is also CEO of some sort of Parkour-related foundation. However, Jason Charles Miller played Drizzt in a video game in 2013 which is very cool.

[undertale-writing-times]

May I ask for the new soulmate prompt with stretch?

You may :)

Words: 839

Learning that any pain he felt, his 'soulmate' would feel the same pain, made Stretch nervous. Why was that a thing? Was it so you could protect them? Yeah, that's great and all but you know what? It could have started AFTER they met each other.

At first, he wasn't too nervous about it. A small cut here and there, a bruise here, a mark there. Simple stuff... but then the resets started to happen. He kept dying and getting hurt, and he knew that his future datemate would feel that, and they most likely remembered everything.

Unless the resets affected them as well? Would they be a monster or... a human? He liked monsters more than he liked humans but hey, maybe... it would work out well? 

Sometimes he would keep an eye out for anyone that had matching marks to him, and if he ever hurt himself on accident, he would look around to see if anyone reacted... even if he was alone. 

At times, when he felt pain but there was no reason for it, he would smile. It meant that his datemate was still alive. If it was a big pain he wouldn't be as happy and be worried about them but there wasn't anything he could do.

And he hated it. 

He wished that there was something he could do to stop the pain, stop the resets. Nothing he did stopped it though! It was... it was maddening. 

The only thing holding him together was his brother and how excited he was to get to the overground, and the rabbit that understood where he was coming from.

He spoke about this cat that was his soulmate, the nice cream guy. A rabbit and a cat, who would have guessed that? 

Stretch spoke about what he would want from a datemate, how someone would have to be to catch his eye... if he even wanted a soulmate. The bunny dude told him that it was sorta, you know, a sealed deal. 

You can't just NOT have a soulmate. It's part of you, it has to be part of you. He said that he knew, but he could still think.

"Yeah, whatever you say, dude," he says, blowing out smoke, and looking up at the roof. Stretch watched as the smoke disappeared.

He should go to Muffet's. 

That had been months and months ago, more resets happened, until this one. In this one, they got above ground, and the kid said that they were sorry to him about the resets, and explained that they weren't going to do it anymore.

This was the last one and even broke the reset button to prove it. "Now... I can't reset any more. This is it"

He felt like he wanted to cry when he saw them do it. It scared him, but damn it, if he wasn't happy too! This was finally it! They... they were free.

He went home that night and hugged his brother for the first time in... a long time. Really hugged him, and Blueberry asked him if he was okay. What's wrong? Why are you wet? Yeah, Stretch was crying.

And then he met them. 

It was on a day just like all the others above ground, he went to therapy, went to the store, and went home. Yet, when he went to the store; he bumped his leg against the edge of the holder of oranges, making a soft hiss sound between his teeth.

"Shit" he mumbles, but paused when he heard someone else make the same sound, and he turns his head to see them rubbing their leg. The same spot that he hit. 

Wait...

He slowly moves his hand to hit it against the counter, just hard enough to cause a small amount of pain, and they change their attention to their hand. They were frowning a little, rubbing it. 

Holy shit... that was his soulmate!

He gulps down his nerves, his eyes shooting down to the handbasket. Should he go to talk to them? Should he just... leave? What should he do? Slowly he stood up, picked up his basket, and walked over to them.

"You okay?" 

They jump, looking over at him, making a soft sound when they saw him. Most likely, you know, cause he's a monster. Humans were still trying to get used to that idea. "Uh... Yeah, I'm fine. I guess my soulmate bumped into something" they let out a little laugh.

He copied the small laugh, nodding a little, his cheeks flushing "Yeah I... I'm sorry about that" he clears his throat, "Gotta... hand it to ya, you're good at handling that sorta stuff" he couldn't stop the puns, not his fault. "I'm Stretch I think I might be your soulmate"

Damn it Stretch, why are you being so forward? He thought to himself, his mind rushing with different thoughts. What if they called him crazy and left?! He should have made more small talk.

Now just to wait and see how they react...

[glitchinginthegarden]

I'm slowly starting to compile tidbits of lore for Vince. He's been around since Vaye came into being, but I never took as much time to flesh him out as I have for her.

Rambles under the cut.

His backstory is still the same.

His parents were Nomads and close friends with Vaye's parents. (If you didn't know they aren't blood siblings, now you do.) The kids grew up together even before his folks and her mom died. So adopting Vince was a no-brainer for her dad.

Vince is 31 at the start of Vaye's canon 2077 timeline.

He's always been the quiet one. The observer. The guy everyone thinks is well adjusted and just vibing but really it's that he's good at hiding his issues.

Vince took a shine to the medical field young and never wavered from it. I consider him the group's field medic to a degree. He may not be carrying around an emergency kit but his apartment is as close to a clinic as you can get without having all the fancy equipment. He's training under Viktor to be a ripperdoc one day (and he eventually does take over Vik's clinic when the old man retires - no, we aren't looking at PL endings here). He considered Trauma Team for a while but ultimately decided he didn't want to be bound to helping only the upper echelon with their fancy trauma cards. Why should he dedicate his life to helping the people who shit on his?

On that note: he's staunchly anti-corp just like Vaye.

He comes off as prickly and detached at first; often considered cold, blunt, and a stick in the mud. It's all armor. He keeps himself guarded. It allows him to keep a distance between his work and his feelings, and he also just does not care what people think of him. He's very much an actions over words kinda of guy. Don't talk about it if you aren't going to back it up.

Outside of ripper training, he earns income via street fights and the occasional smash and grab gig.

Fighting is both income and "free therapy" for him. In the same vein as Gil, Vince likes the adrenaline rush. And it doesn't hurt that it helps him stay fit.

When it comes to merc work, he tends to avoid hit jobs. He would rather help sabotage someone or steal valuables. It's not that he has qualms about taking lives, he doesn't, it's that he's of the mindset that doing so rarely pushes anything toward a resolution. Kill one roach, one more will take it's place mentality. That said, if someone gets in his way during a gig and poses a risk to the operation, he won't hesitate to remove the problem. He's very good at boiling things down to equations. Turning people and situations into a game of odds allows him that detachment he so prefers.

Beneath the crunchy outside, though, he's all heart.

He cares deeply. Maybe too much sometimes. And getting him to show that can be like pulling teeth.

Vince does not open up easily. He's like a shelter dog.

You have to earn his trust over time before he'll show his vulnerable parts and if you break that trust, especially early on, it's incredibly difficult to get it back. He is not a three strikes you're out man, he's a two if you're lucky.

Combat style:

Brute force. Vince thrives up close and personal with his enemies.

He can manage a modicum of stealth, but he's not out there using throwing knives or silenced anything.

He likes shotguns and revolvers. Power weapons > Tech weapons > Smart weapons.

He can't netrun but he does have a nugget of techie know-how and can hack his way past most locks. That's where it ends though.

He has a reputation with fixers for being ruthless. Ironic for someone they also enlist to patch up their solos from time to time.

Regarding his cyberware (bear with me this is all loose and not following canon anything really):

In game, he's got the mantis blades but that's really just for aesthetics. His forearms/wrists/hands are actually chipped with hydraulics. Think impact wrenches in his arms (ugga dugga).

To compensate for that, his rotator cuffs/shoulder sockets are reinforced with synth tendons and buffers.

EMP threading on the right side of his face feeds into his Kiroshis for more in-depth scans. He used to have threading on both sides, but the implant on the left was damaged in a nasty scuffle while on a job in his younger years and he opted to just have it removed.

He has synth-lungs specifically meant to filter not only NC's nasty air, but also a slew of aerosolized chemicals such as anesthetic agents and toxins (like gas grenades).

His other basic chrome includes: reinforced joints, a biomonitor, standard holo and interface ports, synthetic intercostal webbing (the muscles between your ribs), and an inner-ear gyroscope because he got tired of having motion sickness in cars or on the metro (yes, baby boy gets upset tummy).

Okay... that's all I have for now. I think. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I'm sure I'll have more to dump later... he's brewing.

[mokvfox]

I'll probably never experience romance of any kind. As black woman who can't talk to men she finds attractive, I don't think love will find me. But I want it.

I moved to a country without learning the language and now, I've fucked myself. I wanted to try dating in my home country, but I wasn't in a safe environment for it. I wanted to live on my own first before I tried dating. I wanted to get settled and everything. Unfortunately, life doesn't go as plan.

I don’t regret moving to this country. I even want to remain here. I've been learning the language diligently since entering the country and I can't for the life of me see a future where I'm not here. Luckily, I have many avenues that I can take on my own to remain. I love my job and the friends I've made here. I feel like moving here has made me healthier physically. But emotionally and mentally, I'm a wreck.

I started off fine. But I realized rather quickly that I had achieved most of my goals in life. I try to bid my time learning the language, going to gym, joining clubs, and doing various activities, but my mind wanders. I try to focus on the future owning a home, bring my pet over, growing in my career field, finding a high paying job, learning the language, but then my mind wanders. It wanders back to the same thing: romantic relationships.

I wanted to try dating and eventually, I wanted to get married. Hence, why I wanted to date in my home country. I wanted experience. As of right now in my late 20s I have zero experience, and I'm extremely sad.

Maybe I fucked up. I shouldn't have asked people out on dates or told people I liked them. I shouldn't have pursued in my job or school. Maybe I should have kept trying with the apps even though I hate them. Confessing to my friend was mistake. Are my standards too high? I mean wanting some who cares for himself and his home, isn't wrong? Him being kind and considerate, isn't wrong? Wanting someone to talk to and work out with isnt wrong? I want to hear about his day, his worries, and share moments with him. But he doesn't exist.

My life feels so incomplete. I should be satisfied. I have everything I wanted. I'm no longer being abused. I have my dream body. I'm traveling, and I've made awesome friends. Why do I want to be in love and be loved so badly? It's miserable.

Maybe I should keep waiting, but I've been waiting on a boyfriend since I was a teen. I've waited through high school. Teen romance can get messy, right? I told myself college would be best. But the two guys I showed interest in didn't want me. And the nice guy I gave chance thought I was whore after a week even though I've never had sex or done anything sexual. So, I said university. Then Covid19 happened and also, I didn't stay on campus and I drove an hour to get there prior to covid. So, interaction with men was limited. I tried clubbing here and back in my home country. I realize now I hate being groped by strangers.

I'm starting to sense I'm doomed. I tried dating apps, but it's very dehumanizing on both ends. I feel bad swiping next on people I don't know. Even though I haven't met them in real life, it feels weird to me. Like I didn't give them a fair shot. And writing what makes me interesting is so difficult. I don't know. Why am I writing a resume for a relationship or even a date? I don't even like doing that for work.

I'll try therapy, but I fear the therapist will tell me "Wait maybe you'll find love in your 30s, 40s or 50s. You're still young." or "There is nothing wrong with being alone. You have friends who are a strong support system" or "You can't just date anyone. You don't want to end up in an abuse relationship or unsatisfying one." or "Try the apps again."

I know I don't want to end up in an abusive relationship. That's why I don't fall for guys easily. I also only like men who like me. If they don't like me, I'm out. I'm not a placeholder or a punching bag or a therapist. I'm a person. Treat me with the same respect as you do a friend, a family member, a stranger, or a boss. The apps don't treat people like actual breathing humans in my opinion. I'm not pictures and a resume. Dating shouldn't feel like a job.

I don't want my youth to go to waste. My body will break down and I will be left with nothing to offer. I worked hard to feel and find myself attractive. I want to share that with someone who cares about me like I do them. But as I said in the beginning. It's hopeless. If I don't find you attractive mentally, physically, and emotionally, it's not going to work.

This is another reason why I didn't want to date during my high school/college/university years. I didn't find myself physically, emotionally, or mentally attractive. So, I went to therapy, moved out of that horrible environment, and I got a body I love to see in the mirror. I'm living the life of my dream as I explained earlier, but I still feel something missing.

Soon it will be a year since I left home. I want to be in love, but who would want a black romantically awkward woman like me. Language barriers and cultural barriers. Maybe my need for romance will never be satisified. How do I keeping going knowing I may never experience romantic love?

[izzy-b-hands]

Rewatching Metalocalypse in between episodes of OFMD and had the most haunting/stupid idea for a conversation between Toki and Ed

Because, in this musician's au I've got going on (there's a whole post I didn't get finished last night about a new fic draft for this I'm working on, with Dethklok and Ed's band (it's just him, Izzy, Fang, Ivan, and anyone else who occasionally circles through but doesn't stick around lol.) ) there are a lot of nice weird little pockets to fit in conversations that flit v quickly between serious to funny to oh that shouldn't be funny probably but it is a bit

And this is one of them that I just love so much. They've both got issues re: parents and dads, and had a hand in their father's deaths like. There's no easy fic intro into a conversation that in every iteration in my head goes something like:

"So," Toki flops on the couch by Ed. "I killeds my dads."

Ed frowns, and sets aside the magazine Pickles insisted he take right when he walked in, as 'a guest in their home.' "Okay. That's one way to start a conversation. I'm gonna counter with what the actual fuck? Why would you ask me that?"

Toki's eyes go wide. "You toos? I thoughts I was the only ones!"

Ed stares at the wall ahead of them, noting the flecks of dried blood as Toki hugs him tight enough to hurt. "Uh. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Not really the sort of thing I like to...we should go find Izzy and Pickles and see how the kitchen tour is going. We're here to write a song with you guys anyway, so maybe if we just get up to go do that and never talk about our dads or anyone's dads ever again-"

"You gets me," Toki interrupts softly, giving his torso another squeeze. "How does you feel abouts cats?"

---

And so on and so forth of Toki and Ed getting to know each other better on a surprisingly sweet and vulnerable level (legit I think Ed would fucking love Toki's models. They could make model ships together!)then scene cutting into whatever the kitchen tour entails and whether or not I'd want to take a stab at creating actual lyrics for a fic (spoiler alert, probably not, because I usually wimp out on doing that out of fear they'll be The Worst lmao.)

However, aside from writing it in the necessary way to try and match similar beats of a scene for OFMD and Metalocalypse, there's just. So much underneath there if I were to dip more ooc and write it just. Full breakdown (or rather, not so much ooc as the 'what would it take for him to say that' version of things) of Ed admitting yeah, he did kill his dad, Toki turning into a velcro guitarist hugging him to death, but instead of a few lighter but still personal shared details in dialogue then scene cut to Pickles and Izzy and the kitchen tour (aka Pickles uses the microwave and the oven to make homemade edibles on rare occasions, so they're just discussing how best to decarb different forms of weed for edibles. The kitchen staff aren't allowed to start working until they leave, and would badly like them to fuck off anywhere else), we just. Have the conversation. As painful and awkward as it might be for two dudes who really only kind of know each other on a business/work level that's edging towards 'actual interest in the other person'/friends level.

Ed can tell how he strangled his abusive father to save himself and his mum from having to live under his thumb any longer; Toki can tell about slipping and sending his cancer-ridden abusive dad to an icy watery grave after having literally just said he was forgiving him for everything he had done. Insert a bit there from Toki about his conflicted feelings re: did his dad even register that Toki was forgiving him before he was frozen and dead? And does it matter either way, now that he'll never know how his dad would have reacted to that forgiveness?

Does it fix every issue they have with their dads? Absolutely not, it's one conversation, not years of much needed therapy. But they have a cry over it and admit that it's incredibly lonely to be in their specific situations with their parents like that, whether the killing was an out of necessity on purpose (Ed) or more accidental (Toki, though he murmurs to Ed, almost whispers, that he knew how slippery it would get as he climbed higher up that mountain with his father in his arms. He could have slowed down, tried to be mindful of the snow and ice packing the treads of his boots. And he just wanted it all to be over with, but not like that. Not how it actually happened.)

I know the ppl interested in this part of the au are minimal but I just. have so much that keeps randomly hitting me that I'm dying to share on the off chance anyone else is interested fdsakjfl