#“i needed one every year in high school”

[yamumsyadadd]

different

Part of the Marquita universe. Others can be found here:

Marquita, mama and mami, accident

A/N: talks of homophobia, bullying. this was fun to write! If you have any more questions for Marquita or if I should make another universe let me know!

It was hard growing up with parents like Alexia Putellas and Jenni Hermoso. Both were incredibly talented footballers, attractive and smart, add Olga into the mix and it felt like you’d never reach the same level. 

Olga went to university, graduated top of her class and then went on to her masters, Alexia got a degree in business, and Jenni in economics. There were a lot of high expectations, in school, in football, in life in general. 

To be the daughter of two of spains best players in history, well it was back breaking work. Football was not a sport you enjoyed, at all. You weren’t horrible at it, but you weren’t at the same level as your parents or Tia’s. It was to be expected since you were only twelve. There was time to get better, to showcase your skills. Skills you didn’t have, nor did you really want. 

School wasn’t much better. You weren’t horrible but you were a dreamer, the teachers complained you were always off with the fairies but in honesty, you couldn’t care less. Maths was the only subject you cared about, you’d need it if you wanted to study engineering at university. 

The kids at school often picked on you for being that way, but you didn’t care that much. It was same with the football team. It was almost like the universe was conspiring against you. 

It was mid week, right before Christmas when you finally had enough. Your Mami was away for the UWCL game in Sweden, mama had just gone back to Mexico after spending her break with you. Olga’s work had died down a bit due to the holidays. 

Your relationship was still a bit strained since the accident but it was slowly repairing itself. 

“How do you do it?” You asked Olga as she closed her laptop for the night. 

“Do what?”

“Everything? Work in Madrid, Manuela’s, your relationship with Mami and your friends. It’s a lot to juggle.” 

“It is. It’s a bit easier now I’m in the routine but essentially my life is split in two. One half in Madrid, the other, more important half here, in Barcelona.” 

“You went to university, spent six years studying to do what? No offence but don’t you want more?” 

“In what way?”

“You have a degree in communications, you could be a journalist, a public relations person or I don’t know, in marketing but instead you work in social media?” 

“You don’t think I’m doing enough?” 

“Why social media Olga? Why not something more interesting, more meaningful?” 

“Why do your Mami and mama play football? Why do you? Because you all love it. Sure, I could be doing something else, stuck at a desk for nine hours a day, unhappy and bored. But by doing what I do, I get to travel the world with my clients, get introduced to people I’d never imagined meeting, help people became what they want.” 

You nodded your head, content with the answer, then stood up and packed up your homework, heading towards your room but not before turning to Olga, “I don’t love football. Not like Mami and mama. I am not like them and that’s okay.” You gave her a sad smile before turning out. 

“Mari-“ Olga started before hearing your door close. She let out a sigh, wondering where she went wrong this time. You had asked a question, slightly rudely, but she had answered. Given appropriate reasoning and yet, you seem sad about it all. It was truly baffling. 

Going to school the next day was hard. You were stuck in your head all day, wanting nothing more than to climb into bed and cry alone. But that wouldn’t happen, not when it was this close to Christmas and it seemed that every other day there was a Christmas event to be attended. 

When Pedro Diaz continuously threw his rubber at you in Spanish class, you ignored him. When Maria Santiago called you a freak in gym class because you could run the 3km, you ignored her. But when Diego Cruz said your Mami and mama were going to hell, you lost it. 

You weren’t dumb, everyone around you had talked about what it was like for them being gay, the good, the bad, the ugly. You heard it all, but the stories were from when they were kids, not from now. Now is supposed to be more welcoming, more accepting, but people like Diego and his parents exist. 

Alexia, Jenni and Olga had all received the same phone call. There had been an incident at school and they were needed as soon as possible. Obviously Jenni wasn’t able to make it, but both Olga and Alexia raced there. 

Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it, your Mami had bought two of her younger teammates. She was supposed to take Vicky and Jana home after they got to the training centre but she didn’t have time and they didn’t mind. 

Alexia and Olga arrived at the office at the same time. You were sitting there, hair a mess, a soon to be black eye and a bite mark on your arm. 

“Mari? What happened?” Alexia crouched down in front of you, hands on your knees. Just as you were about to reply, Diego and his parents walked out of the office. He looked a lot worse than you did. A blood nose that had dripped down onto his shirt, scratch’s around his jaw and neck, not one but two bruising eyes. 

“Ms Putellas, Ms Rios, please come in. Y/n, wait out here.” 

The tension in the office was palpable. Alexia was fuming, Olga was slightly confused but also mad, Diego’s parents look like they were ready to fight themselves. 

“There was an incident during afternoon break between your daughter and another student, Diego.” 

“An incident? That’s what you’re calling this? She’s sitting out there with a black eye, and a bite mark on her!” Alexia blew up. 

“Ale.” Olga put her hand on alexia’s forearm, trying to calm her down. 

“Diego was the instigator, however, your daughter threw him up against a locker, punching him repeatedly until she was pulled off him by two teachers.” The principal let it sink in for a moment before he continued on, “I am aware of a few issues that y/n has been facing, the bullying that other-“

“I’m sorry, bullying? You’re telling me my daughter, our daughter, has been getting bullied here and you haven’t been bothered to call one of us? That’s ridiculous!” Alexia said. 

“We were told by y/n that she had spoken to you. We have sent letters home, tried to call you and Jennifer. I must tell you, school isn’t the only place she’s been getting bullied. Y/n told the guidance councillor that at football she gets bullied too.“ 

When the words registered in Alexia’s head, she felt like she failed. Failed you as a mother, a person. You were getting bullied at school and football and she didn’t notice. 

“Where do we go from here?” Olga spoke up, noticing the battle her girlfriend was currently going through. 

“The school has a zero tolerance for violence, while Diego has been bullying her, and he will be dealt with, y/n was also apart of this fight so unfortunately I have no choice but to suspend her for the rest of the week.” 

“A suspension! No that’s not fair on her!” 

“I’m sorry. My hands are tied. I suggest you take her home, and have a conversation with her. We can’t do much more than what we are already doing. If you get anymore names, or it’s via social media, we can take further action but for now this is the only option.” 

When Alexia walked straight out of the office without saying anything to you, you knew you were in trouble. Olga gave you a sympathetic smile before motioning for you to get up. 

The car ride home was quiet. Your Mami hadn’t arrived back yet since she had to drop the girls off. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” 

“Not really.”

“Your Mami is going to ask, probably in a not nice way.” 

“She’ll be mad. Mad that I didn’t tell her, that I’m not strong like her.” 

“Mari, you’re strong. You’re so strong!” 

“No im not! Otherwise this wouldn’t have happened! I’m not like them, like you!” You yelled. Trying to get her to understand. “Mami and mama are world class athletes, you’re smart and pretty but I’m- I’m just me.” 

“You’re smart, you’re pretty. Sure they are world class athletes but it took them a while to get there, it doesn’t happen over night. You need to train-“

“I don’t want to train! I don’t want to play. I do it because of them Olga. Because of who they are. Everybody tells me how different I am, how I won’t be as good or amount to them. I just want to be enough!”

Olga pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly as you cried into her. Alexia could be obvious to some things, and this was clearly one of those things. 

After a while she coaxed you out of the hug, putting her hands on your cheeks and wiping away the tears, “can you tell me what he said to you? I know you, and I know you wouldn’t just hit someone for no reason.” 

“Him and his friends say stuff all the time. I don’t usually respond, and today I didn’t. I guess it just made him angrier. He said.” You took a deep breath, knowing that it would hurt Olga’s feelings as much as it hurt yours, “he said you, Mami and mama were going to hell because you were filthy lesbians, he said something else and so did all his friends. I ignored him and when I went past he pulled my ponytail. I just lost it.” 

You heard Olga have a sharp inhale of breath and then pull you towards the couch. For a while you both just sat there, Oga never letting up on the hold she had. When the front door sounded from Alexia getting home, Olga pulled you up and told you to go shower, needing to have a conversation with alexia. 

“Amor? Mari? I’m back.” Alexia kicked her shoes off, throwing her keys into the bowl. She knew a conversation was needed but to be honest, she didn’t have the energy. 

“Ale.” Olga all but threw herself into her girlfriend’s arms. 

“Woah, what happened?” 

“They say horrible things to her ale and she doesn’t even do anything.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“She told me all about it. Everything they say at football, at school, everything.” 

Alexia pulled Olga through to her room, wanting to know everything that was said. It took a while for alexia to understand why Olga was upset but once she did, she was equally upset. 

You had showered, thrown your clothes in the hamper and unpacked your bag. You looked towards your mami and Olga’s room for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour. You knew what you did was wrong, incredibly wrong but after spending the last year being constantly picked on, it got to you. 

It was dark by the time they emerged from their room. Both in different clothes and with damp hair. 

“I’m going to order dinner.” Olga said as she headed toward the kitchen. 

“Marquita, I need to talk to you.” You nodded, tucking your legs into your chest, scared about the outcome of what is to come. “Olga told me what you said. Do you have anything to add?” 

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re sorry?” 

“Yeah I’m sorry. I thought, I thought I could handle it, that I was strong enough like you and mama but when he pulled my hair I just got so angry. They always say things about you and mama but this time they were talking about Olga too.”

“Olga also said you didn’t like football, why don’t you tell me? Or mama? We wouldn’t have forced you to play.” 

“Because you’re the Alexia Putellas. Imagine what people would say and think if I didn’t play.” 

“I don’t care about what people think or say, what I care about is your happiness, you aren’t happy at school or at football. I’ve spoken to your mama, we will change your school and remove you from football.” 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“No! I’m sad for you, I’m sad you didn’t tell me what was going on, I’m mad at those boys and their parents, and at the principal.” 

“I was embarrassed. You and mama are able to ignore everything negative people say and I thought I could do the same.” 

“But we can’t.” You gave her a confused look, “since the World Cup, mama has been getting extra mean comments and messages on social media, I have too but not to the same extent. It affects her, it affects me, Olga gets them too. The way we get through it is because we know they are wrong. If two girls want to love each then they can, if two boys want to they can, a boy and a girl? They can. If Jenni and I want to have a family, we can and we did. If Olga and I want too, we can. No one is allowed to tell you or anyone else who they can and can’t love.” 

“You and Olga are going to have a baby?” 

“That’s all you got out of that?” Alexia laughed, “maybe, do you want a baby brother or sister?” 

You launched yourself at your mami, “yes! Both! Twins!” 

You were grateful for Olga, the act of telling you mami what had happened seemed like a ginormous task, she made it easier. The more you thought about it, Olga made a lot of things easier. When she was home things ran smoothly, but when she was gone it was like a missing puzzle piece. 

As the night drew to a close, you had to call your mama in Mexico. Mami had already told her everything that had happened, so when you two spoke over FaceTime she promised she also wasn’t mad, when the next school holidays were on, you’d fly to Mexico and spend the week with her. 

Over the course of the winter break, you and Olga were able to spend more time together. She shared her life story, including the times as a rowdy teenager. She took you shopping for your new school uniform and even bought your first set of makeup. 

While you were sad to be leaving the friends you had made, you were glad to be in a new school, a school where you would hopefully be okay. 

[lurkingshan]

Shan's Favorite Dramas of 2024

The year is wrapping up and I have forced myself to narrow down to a list of 15 (I tried 10 but the choices were too hard!) of my favorite 2024 dramas across genres and countries of origin. This is not every drama I liked this year (that list would be incredibly long), but these are the ones that inspired the most brain rot and really stuck with me.

At 25:00 in Akasaka (Japan, Gaga)

The mood and tone of this drama was just perfect, and I loved the way it explored the blurred lines and confusion that can result when the real and fake aspects of a professional relationship get all mixed up. Hayama was a great character and I loved his arc, in particular.

Cherry Magic (Thailand, Viu)

I still can't believe how much I loved this adaptation. A fantastic example of taking a work from another culture and translating it to a new context while not only retaining the core narrative, but even enhancing it. This show gave us what the Japanese version didn't--the resolution to the physical intimacy arc at the core of the premise--and retained all the charm of the original while adding new humor. And delivered one of the best romances of the year while it was at it!

Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear (Japan, fansub)

Oppan, my beloved. Easily the best family drama of the year, loaded with excellent messages while (mostly) avoiding feeling like an after-school special. Makoto's journey to update his thinking with Daichi's help, and the mutual friendship that developed between them, is one of my favorite relationships of the year. I loved every character's story; there is something for everyone to connect with in this show.

Fangs of Fortune (China, iQIYI)

This drama was just so much FUN. A gorgeous feast for the eyes, a wealth of fascinating characters and relationship dynamics, and a fast-moving plot that you don't need to try too hard to understand. It was a great binge and Li Lun was easily my favorite villain of the year.

Gyeongseong Creature (South Korea, Netflix)

A gorgeous period piece set during one of the darkest chapters of Korean history, this one took me by surprise (I am usually not a horror girlie). The writing for this show had surprising depth and I loved its themes around family and loyalty and survival under fascism.

Knock Knock Boys (Thailand, Gaga)

My boys! I loved this show about a group of four queer men living together in a shared house, getting into mischief and supporting each other through school and work and relationship struggles. The show is funny and breezy but also manages to tackle some serious issues with grace while delivering two strong romances and my favorite coming out narrative of the year.

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (South Korea, iQIYI)

Winner for best QL of the year, and a romance that will be sticking with me for a long time. Dohoe is one of the most honest and unflinching depictions of a an adult psyche shaped by childhood abuse that I have ever seen on my screen. It was healing to see him treated with such compassion and to see him and Juyoung find their way to a happy life together. An absolute must watch for all you angst with a happy ending fans.

Love for Love’s Sake (South Korea, iQIYI)

It's so hard to get a high concept premise like this right, but this drama did an amazing job with it. It's one of those shows where you can go back over everything that happened in retrospect and it all adds up, and I loved that the ending lent itself to so many different interpretations. One of the best watch experiences of the year.

Love in the Big City (South Korea, Viki)

Go Young, my beloved. This drama adaptation of the internationally successful novel exceeded my wildest expectations, and I am still a little stunned that we got the privilege of seeing it. It is, bar none, the most authentically queer show on this list, and a beautiful depiction of all the significant relationships in one young man's life. I will be rewatching it many times and keeping it close to my heart.

Love is Like a Poison (Japan, fansub)

A masterful blend of comedy, action, and romance, this drama about a lawyer with delusions of grandeur and the scam artist who decides to become his partner was a constant delight and gave us my favorite battle couple of the year.

Marahuyo Project (Philippines, YouTube)

I can't tell you the joy and relief I felt to get another high quality queer drama from the Philippines this year. And this one had such a great cast of characters, anchored by one of my favorite protagonists of the year in King. It's funny, it's romantic, it's touching, and as always for a JP Haboc production, it has an amazing soundtrack.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat (Japan, fansub)

My girls! I'm still amazed by how much this drama gave us in its second season by expanding the world of the show beyond our two main characters to include so many other women whose stories were just as fascinating. This is the season where Nomoto and Kasuga really came into themselves and started building the life they want to have together, and it was a real joy to watch.

Tender Light (China, YouKu)

The way this show had me in a chokehold while it was airing! Visually stunning, incredibly well-constructed, and featuring one of the best performances of the year from Zhang Xin Cheng, it's an exhilarating mystery and a very touching story of the unusual bond between a student and the older woman who fascinates and terrifies him.

The Midnight Romance in Hagwon (South Korea, Viki)

You know a drama is good when it has you deeply invested in a random topic you never thought you were interested in. In this case, that's the intense debate on pedagogical methods between the public schools and hagwons in Korea. Alongside delivering a great romance, this drama was passionate about teaching and it sucked me right in to the Korean literature lessons at the heart of the story.

Unknown (Taiwan)

No other drama inspired more brain rot in me this year than this story of a family rocked by changing feelings as the chosen siblings grow up. The loyalty and love and complex desire between Wei Qian and Wei Yuan is the heart of this story, and the drama did an incredible job of taking us along for the journey as things shifted and changed between them. I still think about them all the time.

Bonus: Favorite Classic Dramas Watched for the First Time in 2024

I am always catching up on an endless backlog of dramas alongside my live watches. Here are the best gems I finally watched this year.

Lost (South Korea, Viki)

I loved this deeply melancholy drama about two lost souls who connect unexpectedly. I finally pulled it up from my to be watched list because it shares director Hur Jin Ho with Love in the Big City (he did part 2 with Go Young's mom) and it sure feels like it! The characters are deep and complicated, the relationships are complex and carefully built, and it is hands down the best encapsulation of a failed marriage between two good people who truly loved each other that I have ever seen. It's heavy and not for everyone--mining the depths of human despair is kind of its thing--but if you like this sort of story it's world class.

Mouse (South Korea, Viki)

I was recently in the market for a good mystery thriller, so I finally watched this apparently very divisive 2021 drama--and if there's a divide I am firmly on the HELL YEAH side of the line. This drama had an interesting concept (that I will not describe bc holy shit spoilers, you should go in knowing nothing) that it unwound with remarkable patience and precision over 20 episodes. Its themes were strong and consistent, the lead characters were super compelling, the plotting and pacing and editing were unbelievably tight, the performances were incredible, and it made a lot of provocative points and ended well, feeling coherent and complete. It sustained my full interest and attention without any stumbles for ~25 incredible hours.

Mr. Sunshine (South Korea, Netflix)

Another one that's been on my watch list forever and finally got its moment when I was in the mood for a historical where ladies got to wield weapons alongside the men. And unsurprisingly, I loved it. Writer Kim Eun Sook is known for her big, glossy, epic dramas, and her style made a good pairing with a story about a rebel faction during the Japanese occupation of Korea. I really loved all the main characters in this show, and was moved by the complicated exploration of their loyalty (or lack thereof) to their homeland. This drama also has a very strong class analysis baked into its themes, which I very much appreciated. It was a traumatic watch, but in a way that felt right given the setting and the choices characters made.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear (Thailand, YouTube)

I watched this one on a mission and it was worth every moment. Nut is one of my favorite protagonists in any queer drama, and I thought the show made great use of its fantasy concept to explore some very real human experiences with depth and compassion. This show feels like an especially important counterpoint to the Thal BL bubble, and I recommend it highly for anyone who enjoys those dramas.

When I Fly Towards You (China, Netflix)

And we end on a light and sweet note, with my favorite coming of age romance that I watched all year. This drama was just lovely, and it will be a go-to rewatch for me for years to come. There’s something so comforting about a story where you start with the happy ending before jumping to the beginning, and just get to sit back and see how they get there. I loved all the characters in this and marveled at how it was never boring despite being decidedly low angst.

[bread-toast]

pt1 pt2

thinking about…

teacher!gojo who hasn’t talked to you since he was a teenager

teacher!gojo who spends all of his time alone on missions, lesson planning, and training his students

teacher!gojo who despite his goofy demeanor is strangely repulsed whenever shoko teases and jokes about setting up a blind date for him; who only ever considered you when it came to romance

teacher!gojo who knows it would be crazy for you to give him a second chance after your high school fall-out

teacher!gojo who’s busy schedule leaves him longing for rest but can hardly get his three hours of sleep when you consume his thoughts

teacher!gojo who gives in after so many restless nights and realizes he needs to get over you

teacher!gojo who coincidentally sees you on the arm of another man on his way to his blind date and goes absolutely berserk

teacher!gojo who knows he has no right to be jealous over what could have been (it was his fault that nothing happened between you two after all!)

teacher!gojo who can no longer stand the ache in his chest when you transfer to Jujustu Tech as a new teacher and you greet him oh-so formally in the dingy break room

teacher!gojo who’s balls his fists but stays silent every time you leave work eying his figure, regret so obviously present in your eyes

teacher!gojo who finally decides to talk to you again, your constant presence overwhelming him with guilt

teacher!gojo who swore he would be collected but spills out apologies resisting voice cracks and tears when he notices your glassy eyes and quivering lips

teacher!gojo who embraces you with a longing saved over a decade of isolation

teacher!gojo who lets down his infinity for you to weep in his arms and punch his chest for being so difficult all those years ago

teacher!gojo who listens while you recall his actions between sobs

teacher!gojo who only holds you tighter, closer to him as if to never let you go again

teacher!gojo who starts visiting your classroom with snacks between breaks and making up for lost time

teacher!gojo who arrives to school early for the first time ever, standing outside Jujustu Tech’s gate waiting in the snow with a bouquet blushing like a schoolboy

teacher!gojo who knows he’s rushing it, but he just can’t wait to be yours anymore than he has!

teacher!gojo who gives his first genuine smile in years when you meet him gasping in delight at his out of the ordinary demeanor and gifts

teacher!gojo who confesses to you, the memories of years prior so bittersweet and he’s trying not to cry when he senses hesitation in your eyes

teacher!gojo who’s the happiest he’s ever been when he realizes that you, the untouchable kind amazing you has given him another chance to be yours

teacher!gojo who lets you wrap your arms around his neck dragging you into a well deserved strawberry-lollipop-flavored-kiss spinning you around in joy

teacher!gojo who’s heart drops when he notices that the bushes and trees behind you start to fade, dreading the truth he had known from the start when he sees your face get more and more blurry

teacher!gojo who only wants to deny what his six-eyes tell him for as long as he can

teacher!gojo who wakes up alone in bed, blindfold soaked in salty tears when he realizes he had dreamt of you again.

teacher!gojo who forces himself out of bed, not bothering to put on a coat as he makes his way out of his apartment

teacher!gojo who’s found the next morning by shoko, puffy eyed and unmoving by your grave

teacher!gojo who knows deep down that if he had acted sooner, confessed sooner, finished off that curse sooner, done anything sooner you might have, no, you would have still been with him happily together

teacher!gojo who knows that no matter how hard he tries, he is always too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

I hope you enjoyed! English isn’t my first language and it’s one of my first times trying writing but I really enjoyed these hcs! I wanted to give this a happy ending to satisfy everyone who read pt1, but I just couldn’t find a way to do so while writing. I want to work on a few one-shots soon, so I’ll definitely have a happy ending for gojo on a more fine tuned piece! Please let me know if you have any recommendations on improving writing and any requests for fics in the future!

[luciferanalyzestar]

Viv in general don’t understand “kill your darlings” (remove characters and plotlines that aren’t necessary to the story so it can flow better), she has habit of constantly adding new characters and plotlines, hazbin hotel itself expects you to care or give a damn about a large cast of characters in only eight episodes!

I yapped too much lmao.

I think once Viv gets attached to a character's design, she does not want to scrap the character. She is (was? I remember seeing that she does not draw that much anymore) a character designer at the end of the day.

The reason I like to talk about the character designs so much is because I like to create original characters. I was a Sonic artist who was posting their characters on DeviantArt back in the day. The act of creating original characters is a fun process.

After graduating high school, I created around 34 - 40 characters. I just made them for fun and they did not really have a story, a universe they live in, or personalities (more like bullet point traits).

Years later, I gave certain characters full written out personalities, backstories, and other lore stuff. If I could not think of a personality or role in the story for a character, I got rid of characters regardless of how attach I was when I created them. They no longer serve a purpose.

Now, I currently have 22 characters because I view characters as tools to move a story forward. I understand Hazbin having a decent number of characters because it is (more like was) about a hotel. Every episode in Hazbin introduces a new character or characters and more are on the way and minor characters we saw in season one will get more screen time. (Saint Peter the toilet brush who needs to stay at those golden gates and never show up again).

The time wasted on introduces new characters could have been saved for the hotel residents (Angel and Sir P) and learning more about them as people and their lives on Earth or give us a reason to care about the nameless sinners that feared of getting killed each year.

If I had to rewrite season one, none of the overlords (minus Al because he 'works' at the hotel) would have been included, maybe just small hints at their existence. Kept Adam and Lute in episode one to establish them as villains but the other Heaven characters would have been saved for season two. Lucifer would not appear either, maybe he leaves Charlie voicemails, but she never answers.

In Helluva, certain characters are just there or just for merch. The shit Andrealphus is pulling should have been Stella pulls all the strings to fucked over Stolas. She does not need a brother. There is not even a hint to Andy's existence, his ugly ass just appears out of cold air.

Then there is Vassago who should have been in season one as Stolas' only friend and someone he trusts. Stolas do not speak to each other in Mastermind (I do not think Stolas looks at his direction) nor does Vassago shown up in Sinmas. He would have been used to help Stolas get in contract with Via to make sure she was okay.

Viv creates characters but forgets to add the purpose to them.

[fleuryuns]

presenting a fic by @FLEURYUNS

as the earth burns to the ground,

lay here with me

IN WHICH it takes an asteroid hurdling toward earth for you and jay to be pulled apart, and then brought back together—but it's worth it

PAIRING ⟡ wealthy (ex)bf!jay x scientist!femreader

UNIVERSE ⨯ end of the world au

WARNINGS ⟡ inspired by as the world caves in by matt maltese, exes to lovers, arguments, some platonic!jake thrown in there, ambiguous ending, elements from the movie don't look up, inaccurate portrayal of astrophysics and high school debate clubs

WORD COUNT ⨯ 4.5k

AUTHOR'S NOTE . . . starting again with the first fic i ever posted!!

"It's a silly rumour!" he said, exasperatedly.

You told him, "A rumour?! We've estimated its trajectory, analyzed dozens of possible routes, calculated probabilities... You can't deny the research, Jay!"

It was hard to believe that your relationship had come down to this. Had come down because of this.

You and Jay met during a high school debate tournament. His school had been reigning champions for years, until you joined your school's team and beat them. Jay was both annoyed, but impressed by your quips and arguments. He caught up with you after the match, and the rest is history.

High school sweethearts from rivalling schools, a true Romeo and Juliet reenactment.

The two of you went on to attend the same university in different programs. You—garnering a PhD in mathematics and physics, in order to pursue your lifelong dream of becoming an astrophysicist. Meanwhile, Jay went into marketing to one day take on the family business.

Although pursuing very different paths, you always came together at the end of the day. You'd often stay over at his apartment, large as it was, and watch movies together, cook new recipes he thought you'd like, whatever it is you both wanted to do, as a pair. Soon after graduation, you officially moved in with him.

Of course, you weren't perfect. You argued, you disagreed. There were a few significant arguments that led to you slamming the door on your way out.

But it always came down to how you first met. A good debate, a good argument, happens only when both sides respect each other, and don't let their emotions take on the best of them.

So, after every argument, you or he would call the other to apologize. Or, you'd wake up the next morning with a bouquet of roses with a handwritten note attached to it. Or, instead, you'd walk over to his place in the pouring rain, asking for forgiveness.

What brought you two together, however, eventually became what tore you apart.

During debates, Jay prioritized feelings over facts, in the sense that he would take on logical, everyday thinking to tackle the problem, usually winning over his opponents because they often lacked realism. You, on the other hand, gathered the facts and tackled the issue head on. In that way, you balanced each other out.

In another way, neither of you truly ever saw eye to eye.

You just didn't see it until word of an asteroid heading toward Earth came around.

You were ecstatic to be the one to discover the asteroid. At the time, its trajectory seemed to be close enough to Earth that it would be seen by an average telescope on the night it passes by.

"And my name will be on every article talking about it," you told him, wearing a proud smile.

Jay looked at you sweetly as you went into depth, ways that he certainly didn't understand fully, but he still listened intently because he knew it mattered to you.

Then, with further research, you discovered that you wouldn't even need any equipment to see the asteroid fly by.

"We could make a date out of it," he suggested. "When is it passing Earth?"

You continued to stir the pasta, humming at his words. "In about three months," you clarified.

You yelped when you suddenly felt his arms wrap around you. Leaning your head back comfortably onto his shoulder, you let him give you a short kiss. "Maybe we could invite the gang and set up a get together on the building's roof?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Within weeks, the morning tabloids were filled with new information revealed about the asteroid that you and your team discovered. Threads of information were shared on social media, and your name was attached to it everywhere. You felt a sense of pride whenever you checked your phone in the morning, scrolling through dozens to hundreds of comments congratulating you on your discoveries.

One morning, you woke up to a new headline greeting you:

Asteroid Heading Toward Earth: Here Is How To Prepare.

"Huh," you asked yourself, sitting up on your elbow to scroll through the article. You read some more and discovered there were more calculations done overnight by the rest of the team after you left earlier the night before, calculations proving a change in direction.

It was then that you noticed the seven missed calls from your team members. You mentally cursed yourself for being a heavy sleeper.

You quickly called the team leader first, and they barely greeted you before asking you to come to the lab.

"What's the hurry?" Jay asked from the kitchen. You rushed behind him to place a chaste kiss to his cheek, heading to the door to slip on your shoes, with your bag almost falling from your shoulder in the process. "I'm making pancakes."

"Check the tabloids. It's bad."

He frowned. "Yeah, I saw," he said with an unreadable expression. For a situation so serious, his voice seemed to toe the line of mockery too closely. "There's no way it's real, love, don't worry about it."

You stopped in your tracks with your hand still on the handle. "Sorry?"

"Are you serious? An asteroid heading toward Earth?" He raised his eyebrows. "C'mon, we're not in a movie."

"This is serious..." you told him slowly. "Just 'cause it's the first time something like this has happened, doesn't mean it's not real—" You shook your head. "—Look, I have to go. I can tell you about it tonight."

And, sure enough, you spent the day proving the team's theories from the evening. The asteroid was surely coming toward Earth, in approximately nine weeks. At that moment, you weren't able to estimate the true extent of the damage that it would bring, but it would be bad, you knew that well enough.

Jay didn't.

"Don't be ridiculous, Y/N," he said.

You had to take a step back, close your eyes and take a deep breath to make sure you didn't scream. "You don't trust me." The statement was short, but garnered a large reaction.

"Excuse me?"

"That's what you're saying," you explained. "You don't believe my research. I can show you my notes, I can call the team leader for confirmation. Yet, you don't believe me."

He scoffed at you. Looking around, Jay sputtered out half-finished words, taken aback by your confrontation. "I trust you, Y/N, I just—"

"Just what?!" you interrupt, throwing your hands in frustration.

"Park Enterprises has already disproved it."

You wait for him to continue, but he looks at you as if that was enough explanation.

Out of pure disbelief, you let out a half-breathed laugh. "No, this is ridiculous," you throw his own statement back at him. Classically using his own words to turn the tables.

"My father's team has been tracking that exact same comet you're all after, and their studies show that it won't be coming near Earth, not by ages." It was unbelievable the absolute lack of hesitance in his voice. The confidence, which used to draw you into his arguments, repulsed you. "They have better funds for their research, it's much more developed."

This had you looking around for an audience, waiting to hear the laugh track in the background because his speech was straight out of a comedy. "You rather believe people who are solely in it for the money, people who completely disgrace their PhDs and the professors who taught them. Jay, we've laughed at them together because we both agreed they'd agree the Earth was flat if they were offered a large enough check!"

"Well, at least what they're saying now is much more realistic! Your studies don't even make sense."

"So, the date?" you ask him. "What–What was that about?"

He laughed. Laughed. "Obviously I'd take any excuse to spend time with you, love. Sure, you'd be disappointed that we didn't see anything, but I figured the night itself would've gone so well that it wouldn't have even mattered." He shrugged at the end of the words, clearly thinking that it was a given.

"I need you to leave," you told him slowly. You no longer had the energy to deal with a baseless argument. Surely you could get to him, just not then. "I need to be alone. Please."

And with that, he left.

Only a few text conversations were shared after your argument. Neither of you came forward to settle what had happened, talk it out.

Two months went by. Not seeing each other again, nor speaking in all the time that passed by.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

You look over your notes again, brows furrowed in concentration. Trying not to get distracted by the ticking of the clock, or your desk-neighbour sighing every few minutes, you scramble to find a sheet of paper you surely misplaced—because there's no way, no way that this is all you have. If it is....

Jake leans back in his chair and exhales loudly, and suddenly all hell breaks loose. "No way, no way..." you mumble over and over. "Shit! This can't be happening!"

He looks over at you in concern. You also start to hear the other scientists pushing back their own chairs, some turning around to look at what you're seeing. "Y/N? Everything okay?"

Wordlessly, or rather without any intelligible words shared, you turn your computer screen to his direction and hand him your papers.

Jake studies the notes quietly, looking up every once in a while to analyze the images and graphs from the screen to compare. Your hand instinctively comes up to your chest, trying to settle your heartbeat, if it's even possible. "Is this...." He doesn't finish. He understands.

You nod at him. Tears well up in your eyes.

"We'll send them up to Dr. Lee, and get his team to confirm everything," he eventually responds. His voice is clear, despite his own tears spilling. The other scientists come closer, leaning over Jake's shoulder, all reading until everyone is in the loop of what's going on—what's going to happen. He turns to them too. "In the meantime, we'll all go home. Spend time with your loved ones." It goes without saying that this is the last time everyone will be seeing each other.

Saying goodbye to the members of your research team is bittersweet, you learn.

Despite the pride you feel looking at them, considering everything you've learned and discovered together, it pulls at your heartstrings for it to come down to this. You almost wish you had never pursued this career path, wish you weren't even smart enough to come to these conclusions.

You hug Jake tightly at last. He's the one you've always been closest to, after all. "Thank you," he tells you, your face buried in his shoulder and finally letting the tears fall freely, since everyone else is gone. "For everything."

"You too," is all you say.

You hold onto each other for a few moments more when a pit forms in your stomach. Something different than the gnawing fear of knowing the end is near.

No, this is different.

Regret, you realize. Regret, with a mix of guilt.

You pull away from your coworker, a shaky smile on your lips that can't quite reach your eyes. "I have to go." And despite the ache of never seeing him again, you turn away from Jake for the last time and rush out of the building to your car.

As you're pulling out of the parking lot, soft melodies play from the speakers. You recognize the beat instantly.

My feet are aching and your back is pretty tired;

You resist the urge to pull to a stop and just let your eyes shut as you listen to the familiar tune. It'd be nice, but no. You know you have somewhere to be, and the radio coincidentally playing your—and his—song is only more proof that you need to do this.

And we've drunk a couple bottles, babe, and set our grief aside;

Driving down a road you've been through dozens of times brings up many old memories. You remember the first time Jay brought you to his parents' house, nervously fidgeting with your dress from the passenger's seat. He noticed immediately and placed his hand reassuringly on your thigh, risking taking his eyes off the road for a moment to meet with your eyes and ask silently: "Are you okay?"

You told him you were just fine, and that wasn't a lie.

The papers say it's doomsday, the button has been pressed;

Your phone buzzes from the compartment. Sparing a glance, you notice an alert glaring back at you, probably something along the lines of "Take immediate cover. Do not go outside. Protect yourselves."

The radio cuts out, nearly at the same time. The same announcement rings in your ears, so you swiftly turn down the volume and lean back into your seat.

You look through your blind spot for clear roads, and press the pedal harder.

We're gonna nuke each other up, boys, till old Satan stands impressed;

The nerves that have settled in the pit of your stomach ironically dissipate into a new wave of nostalgia instead as you pull onto the street, seeing the grand Park household in the distance.

Happy memories, although bittersweet, flood your mind, and you realize how grateful you are for having them.

At last, you make it to their driveway, relief washing over you when you see Jay's car parked right in front of yours. Clearly, he hasn't been staying at the apartment with you over the past couple months, so you just assumed he'd been staying at his parents' house during your time apart.

You know him well.

Walking up to the doorstep brings back a tremble to your limbs. You reach out with a shaky hand to the doorbell, ringing it once. Twice. And thrice—Like you always have.

It takes all but a moment for the door to open, when your eyes meet for the first time in forever.

"Y/N..."

And here it is, our final night alive;

It's been so long.

You could never forget what he looked like, not with his face still waking you up every morning on your phone screen. But still, seeing him in person again leaves you stunned.

"Hi." You hate the way your voice shakes on the syllable, but you conceal it with a nervous smile.

He doesn't look angry. If anything, he's surprised. Maybe even happy, if the way the corners of his mouth come up when you greet him says anything.

"Y/N," he repeats, disbelief leaking from his tone. "You're... here."

"I missed you," you say at the same time.

You share a quiet laugh before he steps aside and motions for you to come in. You follow him without hesitation.

Taking in his comfortably familiar scent that filters the air, you instinctively close your eyes when you make your way into the living room. You notice Jay doesn't sit down next to you on the couch immediately, so you awkwardly open one eye in a squint to find him standing across from you, with a small smile on his lips.

"What're you looking at?" you ask him with a teasing lilt.

"What are you doing here?"

"Have you checked the news?" Technically, you haven't either. But you know by now, from the announcement on your phone and the radio, it'll be all over every channel.

You watch Jay frown curiously and turn on the television. You're both welcomed with a pre-recorded video—as stated in the top right corner—of a newscaster anxiously fidgeting with her cue cards.

"—comet found and followed by a local research team associated with the Seoul National University is indeed heading toward Earth at a concerningly rapid rate." She pauses, looking over her notes and taking a breath. You can't imagine how it is to hear this news when you've been falsely led by the media for so long. "Park Entreprises have released a statement confirming their calculations."

You watch the colour drain from Jay's face.

"We have approximately seven hours before the asteroid collides with Earth, and causes severe to irreparable damage to the planet and all living organisms." A tear rolls down her cheek, she can no longer hold character. You notice the clip cut, before coming back, with the woman looking significantly more distraught; red in the face, tears staining her cheeks. "Please, everyone, spend this time with your loved ones. Stay safe. This has been Channel—"

Click. Jay shuts it off.

He stands in silence, staring at the blank screen. You watch him run his hand over his mouth anxiously, resisting the urge to get up and hold him.

"So... What—What does this mean?"

"The asteroid is much larger than we predicted, which means we gravely underestimated its speed." You keep your head down and voice low. You've been in this situation before and although you hate to admit it, you're afraid it won't be any different from the last time. "We thought we had at least another week before it came within radar, and with the size we had believed it was, it would've done damage, but nothing too extreme. We were wrong."

"And now we have roughly, what, seven hours before we..." He doesn't need to finish. You nod.

He runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" You think you misheard him.

Jay makes his way toward you, situating himself comfortably on the couch and turning to take your hands in his own. "I said some pretty messed up things that I no longer stand by. I should've let you talk, and I should've had the decency to listen and, at the very least, try to understand."

It's nice, you discern. Hearing what you've been wanting to hear for months. "Thank you," is all you can think to say because, well, what else is there to say?

"I think I've known that my dad's team was hiding something, or purposefully miscalculating, but I chose to ignore it," he admits. "I was scared. Fuck, I'm still scared."

"Understandably, there's a literal asteroid headed towards Earth!"

You both laugh in agreement.

"I know it's probably way too late to ask you this considering we won't be alive by tomorrow, but can we please spend these last hours together as a couple?"

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend," you tease. "Again?"

"Yes, Y/N." He rolls his eyes, but he isn't annoyed. You feel your heart pull at its strings when you see the familiar smile spread across his face again, something you haven't seen in a long time. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course."

You spend the first few hours helping him out in the kitchen. Jay explains that he's been there all day preparing a big meal for the family, as a surprise because they hadn't spent much time together as of late. It's much clearer to him why.

Together, you make a mess of the place. Not much with Jay's help, no. He's always been the better cook of the relationship. Clearly everyone has their specialities. You—in astrophysics and having the balls in the relationship, and him in the kitchen and being utterly stupid sometimes.

"So, is your dad coming over?" You toss a grape into your mouth, sitting on the counter top after giving up on actually helping. "He probably has some kind of vendetta against me, or something. At least I do."

Jay gives you a look.

"What," you draw out exaggeratedly. "We're scientific enemies. It's textbook betrayal."

"No, he won't be," Jay assures you. "I was hoping to make a meal for him and Mom, but one of their messengers told me they were leaving for a business trip tonight. Looks like that isn't gonna end well."

You frown. "I'm sorry..."

He shrugs it off and waves his hand. "No, no, don't be. I think I'd flip at him if I saw him, and I'd rather not spend my last moments in a screaming match with my father." He quickly washes his hands in the sink before wiping them against his apron to dry them off. "Besides, I'm here with you, and that's all that matters."

If you let a smile escape you, that's for no one to know.

The oven makes a ding! which prompts you to hop off the counter, Jay swiftly catching your movement and letting you fall into his arms. You laugh as you notice his dirty hand hovering over your body to not touch your clothes.

"Do you want to help me plate this?"

As expected, the meal is delicious. Even the burnt edges caused by your excess lathering of butter were more than salvageable. It's nothing like a grand meal at a three Michelin star restaurant, but it's damn near close enough.

You furrow your brows as you take another bite—you can't help looking angry when the food tastes good!

Jay notices. "You like it?" he asks, but not genuinely. His smile hints that he already knows.

You simply hum in response.

The rest of the meal passes by in comfortable silence. Comfortable as either of you can be.

There's some tension in the air. A mix of fear, worry, maybe even curiosity.

How else are you meant to feel on your final night alive?

Once both your plates are cleared, Jay's quick to reach and grab the dishes. You follow him to the sink with whatever else he couldn't hold and help him wash them.

You watch him thoroughly scrub at a plate that's already spotless. You don't interrupt him.

In the meantime, you clear the table. Push the chairs. Rearrange the center piece. Even take out the broom and start sweeping the main floor.

You're not sure why. It's not like it really matters. All of this will be whipped out in a few hours.

A shiver runs down your back, and you decide that you're finished cleaning.

"You wanna watch a movie?"

You settle yourselves in his bed once the dishes are done. Jay toys around with the projector before turning back to you, his face twisting in an unserious grimace.

"Oh, right," he says pointedly. "I forgot you only started dating me for my projector."

"What can I say, the richer the man, the more attractive he is." Yet, even if he didn't have a dime to his name, you would still find Jay to be the most handsome man on this dying Earth. "Come here."

Normally, he'd probably tease you for your clinginess. He'd say something along the lines of your hands being covered in glue, or make a dumb joke about magnets.

Today, though, he doesn't hesitate for a second before diving under the covers next to you, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and pulling you even closer.

It feels good, but also makes reality set in.

He feels you let out a shaky breath. "It'll be okay, love," he whispers before placing a long kiss on top of your head.

The opening credits start to roll. You try to take note of all the actors you recognize, try to remember in what movies and series you've seen them in. It calms you down. Then your mind drifts, and you start to worry about what those actors might be doing right now.

Do they know the world is ending in less than four hours? Do they know that no matter where they hide, there's no way to protect themselves?

Jay runs a finger through your hair. Your thoughts hush.

As the camera pans to the main character wiping the back counter at the diner she works at, you look up at your boyfriend. His eyes are fixed on the screen, but you can tell he's not entirely paying attention either.

You shift your position to face him better, still lying comfortably on his arm. "Why didn't you go to culinary school?" The question's been on your mind since he told you about applying for business, but you never had the guts to ask him, already being able to guess the answer.

It's always been known that Jay loves to cook. He's always found experimenting, stepping outside of the box (or the cookbook) to try new things to suit his palette. It was one of the first things you two bonded over when you started dating way back then.

You remember the first time you went to his apartment. Already from the entrance, your senses were filled with the sweet smell of pastries and fresh meat. A combination that wasn't too shabby at all.

He'd been cooking and baking all afternoon, not sure what to focus on because he wasn't familiar with your preferences yet. "Just to be safe," he had specified.

Now, his brows furrowed in thought.

"It wouldn't have worked out," he says finally.

He lightly butts his head into yours. "Doesn't matter now, does it?"

Your eyes drift down from his eyes, to his lips, to the birthmark on his neck, to your hands fidgeting with the blanket. "This is really it," you whisper into the air.

"This really is it," Jay repeats.

To think, you had planned a night with your friends for this exact event. You'd be all gathered on the rooftop, set up on lawn chairs and the terrace sofas, with an abundance of snacks, music from your shared playlist, laughter and cheer filling the air as you all watch the sky, waiting for a star, that isn't really a star, to run through the blankness, just a little brighter than everything else.

And then you would go about your lives.

Heeseung and his girlfriend would celebrate their two year anniversary.

Maybe Jake would finally gain the courage to ask the barista out on a date.

Everyone would say goodbye to Sunghoon again as he'd head off on another skating tour—or whatever the athlete does.

Jay would eventually inherit his father's business. But out of everything, that would probably take the longest. Mr. Park wasn't planning on going anywhere any time soon. Clearly he was hoping so, too.

You.... You're not so sure about yourself.

After discovering one major comet, you'd move onto the next, you supposed.

People don't ever really stop discovering things about the universe. So much of the planet you live on has gone undiscovered, let alone the infinite plane of space and time.

You bite the inside of your cheek at the thought of the millions of things that will forever be left undiscovered, until another species comes to life and starts all the way from the beginning. You realize that maybe that's the point of it all; No one is ever meant to see the end of it.

Maybe it's the moments in between that matter the most.

So, you wrap your arm around Jay's waist a little tighter. You let the voices on the screen fade away as you take in his scent, the movement of his chest as he breathes in and out, and the soft way he strokes your hair.

You tell him I love you without words, hoping he hears it, and fall asleep before you can hear him say, "I love you too."

And as the Earth burns to the ground, it's you that I lie with—It's you I welcome death with.

[the-lazyyy-artist]

Pairing: Yukimiya Kenyu x GN!Reader Synopsis: playing along might lead to something, right? Especially when everyone in your family knows where this leads to. Themes: fluff!! Best friends to lovers, fake dating (kinda??), Yukimiya is a joy to write, cliche situations, rom-com coded Author's Note: Denisse had a dream (legit). When I woke up yesterday, all I could remember was Yukki being there. Wth???

"He's really everything we wanted for you," your auntie's high-pitched voice said, irritating your ear and causing you to scrunch your nose as you plastered on a fake smile you've been wearing since the celebration started. "Yeah, I know, Auntie!"

You can see him laughing and playing with the little kids from afar. They love him. Who wouldn't anyway? He's gentle, mindful, kind-hearted... Exactly what your auntie said. He's everything you wanted. 

Yukimiya chased after the kids, his voice faintly heard from the garden as the children screamed in excitement. He caught one of your little cousins and lifted him, flipping him upside down. You smiled softly at the view of seeing him being goofy, and he met your gaze. His orange eyes softened as he stared at you for a moment and then back at your cousin who was starting to wiggle off his grasp. Oh, how you wish...

Where did it even begin?

University wasn't as kind as people say. You had difficulty catching up with classes since it seemed so different from when you were in middle school. You'd rush to your classes, sometimes just in time, sometimes just a few minutes late, but there was one particular class you took where you bothered to arrive early. It was one you had with him.

Yukimiya with his pretty hair, always styled most perfectly. Yukimiya with his soft voice, floats in the air every time he participates in class or delivers a report. Yukimiya was fairly popular as a model and one of the best players on the university's soccer team. Yukimiya, who you wondered why he bothered to be friends with you.

He always made you wonder why he chose you to be his seatmate that day, how his little snarky comments about your professor made you giggle silently, how he would help you out everytime you were in a sticky situation in your class, how he became a frequent visitor in your little dorm, be it hanging out or studying together. 

It's been 3 good years of having him as your closest friend, the one who knew you more than anyone in your family.

Yukimiya felt the same way. He was intrigued by your presence when he saw you on your seat, eyes meeting the moment he entered. He thought it was normal to look at the person who just entered the class, but a part of him thought otherwise. That's why he sat beside you that day, and the days afterward. He was comfortable being silly with you, letting his personality shine with you. He feels like he can act normally outside his modeling and soccer spheres. 

A week before winter break, you've received calls from your mother and aunties, reminding you to come home for a big family gathering before Christmas. It has been like that since you were a baby. The family always made sure that everyone would be there, with no excuses or exceptions.

"When will you come home? Hmm? Do you have enough money for the trip? Remember not to bring too many clothes, okay? You still have enough here."

Your mother's voice fills your empty dorm room as you flip through the pages of your reviewer, trying to at least study once more before your exam later that day. You heard the door click open, revealing a bundled-up Yukimiya entering your dorm.

"Yes, Mom," you sighed as you watched Yukki slip off his shoes and wear his slippers, "I'll be home next Wednesday after I finish everything I need to do in school. I still have exams this week."

"Okay. That's good. Make sure to take the early morning bus. Your aunties and uncles will be here on Saturday to prepare for the gathering," your mom replied, the busy chatter of the kitchen blending with her voice. Yukki already sat beside you at the little study table you had at your dorm, listening and keeping his mouth shut. "Oh, and honey," your mom chimed again, "please, at least, this time bring someone home?"

You groaned and said a flat "I'll try" before rushing to end the call with the excuse of studying (though it was true. It was embarrassing for Yukki to hear that). After so many kisses, goodbyes, and okays, the call ended, and you leaned back in your seat. "So, you had to hear that," you said, chuckling. Yukki offered a small smile as he leaned on his seat, shaking his head. "I understand. My mother keeps asking to bring someone too, so I understand the frustration." 

"Oh, yeah, I bet," you replied, rolling your eyes at him. Yukki laughed and started to poke your shoulders. "What? You don't believe me?"

"No? You're too good-looking to be single, Ken. Come on. You might be having a relationship behind my back by now!" You replied, scoffing. 

"I don't. I would've told you by now if I had one."

"One??" you exclaimed as you leaned forward on the table, resting your chin on your hand. "So you could probably bag two then?"

"That's... not what I'm saying," Yukki laughed. "What's going on in your brain? Getting all jumbled up with exams?"

You sighed in response. Yukki knew that you were getting overloaded with worries and expectations for you to bring a guest, so he decided to elevate your worries a little...

"Hey," he spoke softly, "how about I help you with your studies? And you can bring me to your family celebration as your guest, you can tell them I'm your best friend though," he added, teasing you. Your eyes widen at him at the suggestion, making your heart beat a little faster. "You know they'll assume anyway," you replied, stating that families are just like that. "Yeah, but if they assume stuff, we can just clarify it every time. Won't hurt anyone, right?" 

And so, that Wednesday, you were in the morning bus sitting beside Yukki, waiting for it to leave. Your mother was overjoyed to hear that you're bringing Yukki, already mistakenly calling him your boyfriend and you had to correct her twice in the call. The trip was smooth, you two enjoyed the view of the countryside from the window as you two shared earbuds, listening to his playlist (in your opinion, he has a better taste in music). "Won't your family wonder why you're not home for the break?" You asked him, your head resting on his shoulder. You felt him shrug then watched him open his text messages to his mom, something he was really comfortable doing with you (though in your opinion, again, you find it weird and uncomfortable that he just shows you his texts with his mom out of nowhere). "I told her about your family event and that I'll go home afterward. She's fine with it, and she knows you."

Your childhood home has always been the hub of all celebrations, mostly family reunions, given how spacious it was inside with a bigger garden in front and a backyard for the kids to run around. The moment you opened the gate of your home, your mother was already by the door, waiting for your arrival. "Oh! My sweet baby has come home! Finally!" She squealed as she came running towards you, showering your face with kisses. Yukki relished what was happening, smiling to himself. "Oh! And you must be Yukimiya," your mother said, turning her attention to your best friend. Yukki, with his best manners, bowed to greet your mother, flashing her his kindest smile. His soft eyes have captured your mother's affection, blushing slightly. "Oh dear, you never told me your boyfriend was a charmer!"

"Mom, best friend," you corrected her. She only tsked and moved away from the both of you, as if she was eyeing how you two looked beside each other. "Your father and I were best friends before we got together. You two are on the right path, you just don't know it yet. Now, come along and I'll show you to your room."

As embarrassing as it was, you two were assigned to sleep in your childhood room, with all the plushies and little toy collectibles still on your shelves, untouched. "We cleaned as much as we could since you'll be sharing your room with your boyfriend," your mom said, drawing the curtains open. "I hope you don't mind my sweet baby's collection, Yukimiya. They had too many hobbies growing up!" 

"It's alright. I can say it's the same for me, though it's just soccer-related," Yukki replied, examining your toy collections. "Oh? An athlete? Sweetheart, you never told me your boyfriend was the sporty type! We're gonna have the athlete gene in our family!"

"Mom, please stop," you groaned, pushing her out of your room, "and again, best friend."

Your mom just laughed as she walked out. "I'll give you two some time alone now," she teased as she closed the door behind her. You sighed and plopped on your bed. You two couldn't even fit on this bed, and you don't have anything for him to lie down on if he pushes sleeping on the floor (which will not be happening, not on your watch.)

"Your mom sounds fun," Yukki commented, pulling your chair from your desk to the bed. He sat down on it as he watched you think about something. "We can't fit," he added, guessing your worries. "And you're not sleeping on the floor," you replied,

"We'll figure it out."

Your mom scolded you that night for planning to sleep on the couch, pulling you back to your room and practically pushing you toward Yukki. He was enjoying all of this as your mom told you to stay in your room and you being a huffing mess. Your mom left you both alone in your room, and you turned to punch his arm. "I can hear you laughing the whole time, asshole," you groaned. Yukki's laughter filled the room as he tried to catch your punches. "Hey, I just love seeing you in this situation."

"Whatever. I'll be by the wall."

You climbed on the bed, claiming your spot. He laid beside you. In the dark. It was awkward given this was the first time you were this close and vulnerable. 

"You okay?" 

"Yeah. You?"

"Yep. Don't roll on my spot in the morning and cuddle me."

You laughed, turning to give him one more punch.

"In your dreams, Ken."

"Yeah, in my dreams."

You'd like to think that it was a comedy skit, the way you two just started to play along with your aunties and uncles after getting tired of correcting them everytime they assume that you two are an actual couple. The aunties fell in love instantly when they laid eyes on Yukki, working his charm with every smile and response. They complimented you for choosing such a handsome and kind man, and you'd fake laugh and respond, "Yeah". Your uncles loved him the most because he'd engage in their conversation about soccer, easily getting into their good graces. It was too good to be true.

Now the kids love him too.

"In your dreams?" you asked him after the party had died. You led him to the garden where you sat on the coffee table. "Hmm?"

"What did you mean by that?" You asked again.

"Did you know you rolled on my spot?" Yukki asked instead with a smile on his face, "You look cute in your sleep," You scowled at him, a blush of embarrassment slowly appearing on your cheeks. "You're making things up, Kenyu,"

"I took a picture as proof," he said, fishing his phone from his pocket. "No! No, don't show me! God, Yukki!" You stood up from your seat to playfully pull on his sweater, which Yukki found so silly. "Careful! This is expensive!" He joked as he held your wrists to stop you from pulling him, "I will pay for it as long as you delete that photo!" 

The laughter died down and you finally let go of him, sitting back on your chair. There was a brief silence between the two of you, only the soft chatter of the ladies inside can be heard. Yukki sighed, looking up at the lavender skies. "I realized something," he said softly, "I realize I can no longer hide this from you. This might be the worst timing, given that we already had given up correcting everyone in your family, but I need you to know this."

"Eh? What are you talking about? Are sick from all the-"

"I like you."

Yukimiya kept staring at the sky as you looked at him in shock. Is your best friend of 3 years liking you back? He doesn't know but hearing that made you think that the gods and your ancestors actually answered your prayers for the longest time. "It started when we became such close friends. Your family mistakenly calling me your boyfriend kinda made me wanna come clean with how I feel for you. I wanna confront this feeling that I've been pushing back and ignoring for the sake of our friendship. We've played along with everyone here today and it made me believe we could be something, and I have a good feeling that you feel the same...

Do you?"

"Do I...?"

Yukimiya chuckled and brushed your hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. "Like me?"

"... I love you."

"Really?" Yukki asked, his smile widening. Now, this was something so new to you. You have seen him smile, mostly grin and smirk, but never a full smile. This one was the first. His joy was contagious as you caught yourself smiling along with him. You shook your head, confirming that yes, you really love him. Yes, you knew for the longest time. Yes, you don't mind having him as your boyfriend.

Yes, the bed was a little warmer that night...

And yes, your mother was the happiest one when she found out months later that you and Yukki are officially a couple, reminding you again of how she and your father met and got together for the hundredth time in your lifetime, though she's more excited about the fact that you guys finally have an athlete in the family. 

[foolishlovers]

soo apparently, i've written over 400k words of crowley and aziraphale flirting and falling in love with each other this year

holy shit???

it's been a wild ride but i'm proud of the fics i've written:

only lovers in the building - 1.8k, T

at the q&a session for crowley and aziraphale's murder mystery podcast, their listeners seem far more interested in the unsolved mystery of their relationship than their latest case. it’s time to tackle one final puzzle.

out of the blue - 3.6k, E

while crowley braces for yet another goodbye, aziraphale is determined to stay and bestow his love upon the demon tonight.

wasting my time (chasing the high) - 3.7k, T

an exes to lovers fic in which crowley - while touring and playing music all over europe - needs to find the courage to talk to aziraphale again. 

where a canvas blooms - 3.8k, T

this is the first part of a series (that i'll hopefully continue in the new year) in which gardener!crowley and bookseller!aziraphale have a cuddling arrangement. and it certainly is just a platonic arrangement. right?

a lasting impression - 4k, T

crowley's dull shift at the pasta bar takes an unexpected twist when the charming bookseller from the shop around the corner drops by.

good game, good girl - 5.1k, E

footballer!crowley and coach!aziraphale aren't just discussing tactics in crowley's hostel room... ineffable wives body worship, basically.

third time's the charm - 6.7k, T

after the almost apocalypse, it seems crowley and aziraphale need a bit of a push to finally confess their feelings. mutual pining, a dowling era flashback and some (magical) hijinks and shenanigans.

the anon before christmas epilogue - 8.5k, E

florist!crowley and bookseller!aziraphale go on their first date after their mutual hatred has turned into mutual affection over the holidays.

spread you wings - 10.1k, E

an ineffable wives enemies to lovers model au in which a photoshoot mishap traps crowley and aziraphale in a studio overnight.

every part of me - 10.4k, T

a hannah montana au featuring genderfluid rockstar!crowley and his best friend aziraphale who has been kept in the dark about crowley's secret for a long time... until one fateful night.

lips don't lie - 12.7k, E

an ineffable wives enemies to lovers actresses au in which they're both invited to an exclusive lipstick launch. tensions boil over.

not where the storyline ends - 14.4k, T

crowley (cranky and overworked) interviews aziraphale (joyous and totally unqualified) for a position in the publishing house he's working at. crowley's sure their paths will never cross again, but christmas still has a few surprises left in store for him.

just up the stairs - 19.4k (of 39.1k), E

a valentine's day fic featuring grumpy!crowley and caring!aziraphale, harry (the most adorable rabbit), and a quiet, gentle and romantic dinner. 

something good and right and real - 30.8k, T

singer-songwriter!crowley and baker!aziraphale meet again when crowley returns to his detested hometown for a much needed break. featuring an abundance of autumnal activities, witty children and a second chance for love.

moonstruck - 31.1k (23.4k yet to be published), M

grumpy botany professor and single parent!crowley falls in love with cherubic bartender!aziraphale as he keeps visiting his favourite midnight café. meet-ugly turning into friends to lovers.

tales of turning pages - 73.4k, E

a small town au in which novelist!crowley and librarian!aziraphale fall in love as crowley keeps coming back to aziraphale's library. lots of (un)resolved sexual tension, found family and romance book recs.

wild hearts - 145.5k, E

a friends to lovers boarding school au in which biology teacher!crowley and english teacher!aziraphale team up to lead the school's new theatre club. featuring lots of pining, student shenanigans and a dearly beloved cat.

unpublished works - 20k

mix of oneshots and chaptered fics i'm still working on

i think it's also time to get a little sappy and review the writing experiences i've made this year...

(some of the) things i loved writing about this year: happy endings, anathema being a beautiful menace, gender fuckery and tons of trans characters, long-haired!crowley and bearded!aziraphale, librarians, authors and musicians, pepper, adam and warlock being mischievous little troublemakers, purple clothes, flowers and notes, sexually charged dancing scenes, aziraphale’s gorgeous thighs and tummy, crowley’s praise kink, taylor swift references, “ngk”, crowley and aziraphale being good with kids and bad at feelings, cosy cuddles and smart cats, all the sappy romance stuff and so so much found family. thank you to all the lovely and wonderful people who read my fics, who shared them on tumblr or with their friends, who gave kudos and wrote the kindest comments, making my days so much brighter and encouraging me to write more. and more. and more! every ao3 email and every tumblr notification is a blessing to me, it means the world to know that my stories are being read and enjoyed! and thank you to my writer friends who’ve continuously supported me throughout this entire year, who listened to countless voice notes of me messily attempting to plot fics, who made time to read first drafts and outlines during the busiest of weeks, who held my hand through writing emotional scenes breaking my own heart in the middle of the night, who supplied me with plenty of inspiration and laughter, who helped me fix many spelling/ grammar mistakes and the weirdest plot holes, who are always eager to hear about my next silly idea. again and again and again.

very excited to see where 2025 will take my writing 💜

[schlatt-love-bot]

The Babysitters Club

Babysitter Schlatt x Babysitter Reader Headcanon

Had a quite a bit of fun writing this one, paternal Schlatt really gets my heart going LMAO

Enjoy!

You and Schlatt were best friends in high school, and being best friends with a future entrepreneur only meant one thing–you were in for a LOT of money making schemes

“Well, we tried the lemonade stand, got told we’re too old…got fired from our bodega jobs for goofing off too much…what is there left for us to do?”

You could see the gears in Schlatt’s brain begin to turn, as all of a sudden he perked up. He came up with something

“Hmm…you like kids, right (Y/N)?” 

“Uhh…I guess you could say that? Why?” 

“I know the perfect business for us.”

Lo and behold, Schlatt and Co.’s Babysitting Service was created 

Schlatt would arrange a babysitting schedule for you, and most of the time you would go out on your own, babysit the kids, and split profits with him for managing your schedule

Sometimes, though, depending on how many kids were in one home, or how many sessions you had in a day, Schlatt would step up and give you a hand

Today was one of those days, as he scheduled you to solo-babysit one toddler from 12 to 3, but at 5:00? You had 5 children to keep an eye on, one who was only a few months old and the eldest being 9-almost-10 years old

Knowing you’d have your work cut out for you in the beginning of the day, chasing a toddler around a park while Mom and Dad were at a meeting, Schlatt decided he would be a kind best friend and boss and help you out

Not to mention, this was an overnight babysitting venture, and Schlatt was looking for any opportunity to spend a little extra time with you 

“So, how was the kid this afternoon?” 

“Good! He just wouldn’t stop running around, I felt like I was chasing a dog all afternoon.” 

Schlatt knocked on the door to your next house, the parents frantically opening the door, rushing you in to give you the basic breakdown before rushing out

“If you need anything, there’s our emergency contact numbers posted on the fridge, there’s a binder of basic information on our little monsters on the wet bar in the kitchen, next to that is some money to buy a pizza for dinner tonight. Need anything, call Grandma, she lives up the street. Thanks, see you both in the morning!” 

They practically ran out of the house, as you heard the 5 month old let out a whining cry, and the two eldest children began running laps around the two of you

You looked at Schlatt, your eyes wide, this was definitely going to be your biggest challenge yet

“You take the youngin’s, I’ll take the older shits?” 

“Yes, please!”

You made your way over to the crib, which housed the 5 month old, and sitting next to the 5 month old inside an adjacent playpen were a 2 year old and a 5 year old, playing with various toys

You picked up the 5 month old and instinctively began to rock the baby, making small talk with the other two kids about what toys they were playing, and other things they generally seemed interested 

“Is screen time okay for these two, or are we going the organic, touch grass way with these rugrats?” 

“Hmmm, check the binder. Mom and Dad probably have rules about screen time, maybe after dinner?” 

You heard the two kids, and Schlatt, let out a sigh of disappointment, as you watched Schlatt convince the two boys it was perfect baseball weather, and out they went

“Say, girls, do you want to go and play with some of your patio toys? It’s such a gorgeous day out, we shouldn’t waste daylight!” 

You were met with many tiny “yes”s, walking with the baby still wrapped tightly in your arms

You and the girls began to play with some of the chalk they had laying out on the patio pavement, teaching the girls how to draw out squares for hopscotch, telling them how to play

You couldn’t help yourself from sneaking glances every once in a while to Schlatt and the other two kiddos out on the lawn, Schlatt tossing low balls to the boys, acting like they knocked them out of the ballpark and insisting they “ran the bases” around him 

A smile crept up on your face, you began to grow a little jealous of whoever would be spending their lives parenting with him

“Man, you like him don’t you!” 

You whipped your head around, seeing the 5 year old staring at you, as her 2 year old sister stood behind her, snickering

“W-what? Absolutely not, we’re good friends. What do you know about liking someone, hmm?” 

“That’s the same look my mommy gives my daddy every single day!” 

You felt your cheeks begin to heat, needing to figure out a way to avoid these two little children from grilling you any further 

“Girls, why don’t we go in and get you cleaned up, you’re covered in chalk. Maybe we can see what’s in your cupboards and make ourselves a little treat, huh?”

The girls were eager to do so, running past you and into the house

The little one in your arms wound up a bit fussy, so you placed her into 

All washed up and ready to go, the girls drug you over to a box of cake mix, insisting that you help them make cupcakes 

You didn’t want to use anything without permission, though, so you sent a quick text over to mom and dad to make sure they were okay with you using the box mix with the kids

They were ecstatic you weren’t just shoving their tablets in their faces, so they absolutely allowed you to bake with them

The girls were excited, donning their little aprons they had stored in the pantry

Baby started to get interested in what was going on, peering over the edge of the playpen, so you picked her up and carried her (and a toy, just in case) over to a high chair in the kitchen

The girls excitedly showed you were everything was that you would need, and you let them have total control over adding things to the mixing bowl (fishing out egg shells, when necessary)

By the time the cupcakes went into the oven, the boys came walking into the house, dirty and sweaty, and their pants definitely stained from sliding in the dirt outside

“Schlatt!”

“What? He needed to slide into home plate, otherwise he would’ve gotten out! You wouldn’t understand!” 

Despite the unexpected bath times, the rest of the night went rather smoothly

Schlatt and yourself wrangled the kids together for some pizza dinner, allowing them to decorate their own cupcakes for dessert afterwards, and once their bellies were all full, it was time to wind things down for the night 

You tucked the baby into her crib, heading to the girl’s room to tuck them in and read a little story to them

On your way there, you glanced into the boy’s room, seeing Schlatt making sure that both the 7 and 9 year olds were set and ready for bed, telling them tales from his baseball experiences (he was the best first baseman in your school, after all) 

You didn’t want to get caught staring, so you continued forward and to the girl’s room

You helped the two put on their pajamas, tucking them in their beds before sitting in the rocking chair by both of their beds, having “Goodnight Moon” picked from the shelf to read tonight 

“Goodnight stars, goodnight air…Goodnight noises everywhere!” 

By the time you finished, both girls had their eyes closed tight, peacefully asleep

You smiled to yourself, content with how the evening has gone, looking up to see Schlatt leaned against the doorframe, the same smile painted on his lips

Heat crept up your cheeks as you placed the book back on their bookshelf, heading out of the room and downstairs to the living room with him

“So…that wasn’t so bad after all, huh?”

“Well, toots, we sure do make a pretty good team…” 

He slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer 

“Y’know…I think I saw a new side of you today. You playing ball with those two…I never seen you so…soft before.” 

“What can I say, baby, kids have a special way of makin’ a person soft...” 

He hesitated continuing, but your raised brow made him go on

“And…seeing you with that baby on your hip, the girls in the kitchen…you’re gonna be a perfect mom some day, (Y/N).” 

You began to blush, looking up at him, wondering if he was feeling the same way you were 

Before you could ask, Schlatt excused himself to the kitchen, coming back with two cupcakes in his hands, handing you one before sitting back down on the couch 

“You worked hard on these with the girls, you deserve a little treat too, princess.” 

He smirked, before swiping his cupcake against your nose, making your jaw drop

“Hey! What was that for?” 

“Whoops, here, let me get that…” 

He leaned forward, kissing the icing off your nose, his eyes plotting 

“Hmm, hold on…I think you’ve got a little something here…” 

You took this opportunity to smoosh your cupcake against his mouth, and before he had the chance to speak, you quickly leaned in, kissing him on the lips

He didn’t back off, answering your question from earlier as to if he felt the same

In fact, he swiftly put his cupcake down on the coffee table in front of you, grabbing your cheeks to deepen the kiss

“Ewww!”

“I told you so! Mommy and Daddy do the same thing after we bake together!” 

You quickly backed up, looking up the stairs to see all 4 of the kids out of bed, peering over the banister 

“Little shits, I swear to God…” 

You laughed, wiping the icing from your face before heading upstairs to put all the kids back into bed, making sure they stayed asleep this time, before heading back downstairs to see Schlatt fast asleep on the couch 

Sighing contently, you crawled onto the couch next to him, placing your head nearby his chest before slowly falling asleep yourself, feeling an arm wrap around you to pull you closer

[lou-struck]

Mistletoe Mission

Rintaro Suna x reader

~ After receiving a strange gift for Secret Santa, Suna finds himself wondering what the mysterious second part could be.

W.C: 2.1k

~Ho ho ho Merry Christmas to the Lovely @ryomance from your Secret Santa! I had never written for Suna before, so I hope I did him justice. 

Rintaro Suna thought that with his high school graduation, he would be free of the twins' antics, but now, he not only finds himself squeezed between them on the couch. But he is surrounded by the majority of his old teammates. Each one balances a Secret Santa present on their lap as they have done for years. 

No one knows who came up with the idea for this Christmas party, but everyone tries to take credit for it. Either way it keeps that friendship and bond that these young men made with one another alive and well.

The halls of Aran's new home are decked out with holly and those other festive decorations that would be overkill if not for the massive party happening just after the Secret Santa Gift exchange. 

"You first Captain," Kosaku gins, reaching across the lap of Shinsuke Kita to playfully poke at his gift bag. 

"Thank you, I look forward to receiving my gift," the grey and black-haired man smiles fondly, looking around at the group, trying to catch the eye of his Secret Santa. He reaches into the bag gently, as if he is afraid of tearing the tissue paper, and pulls out his gift… a fuzzy pair of handcuffs. 

His eyes go wide as the room erupts in laughter; it's not every day someone is able to rattle Mr. Perfect. "Well... I believe this is one of those gag gifts." Kita says, clearing his throat and regaining his composure. "Thank you for the laugh. I deeply appreciate it."

After the fuzzy handcuffs, the rest of the gift exchange went off smoothly; each former Inarizaki player opened their Secret SSanta gift, going around their makeshift circle until Suna found himself the only one still with a wrapped gift on his lap. 

"Yer turn," Astumu grins; he's practically wiggling on his couch cushion in anticipation. His eyes on on the red bow-adorned box in the middle blocker's lap. Briefly, he wonders if it is going to explode. The twins have a tendency to go a bit overboard with their gag gifts. "Come on, open it."

"I thought this was supposed to be a Secret Santa," he mutters as he toys with the red ribbon on the box. 

"Before ya open it, I just gotta tell ya that this is only a small part of yer gift. The other part will get here later at the party."

All eyes are on him as he opens the little box, peels back the tissue paper to unveil an expensive-looking chapstick tube and a packet of…breath mints. 

What?

Suna stares down at his 'gift' with confusion and a bit of self-consciousness as he tries to make sense of it. 

The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop himself. "Is this your way of telling me my breath stinks or something?"

Atsumu shakes his head and glances over to his brother, "Nah, jus makin sure ya had the necessities."

"Y-yea," the grey-haired twin agrees, "Ya never know when you'd need a mint and some…" He is cut off by the sound of the ringing doorbell. 

"It looks like the other guests are arriving," Aren says, getting to his feet, effectively ending the awkwardness, and stepping out of the room. 

With everyone else scattering about the house for the party Suna finds himself alone, still trying to figure out who would be bringing the second part of his gift to the holiday party. Atsumu's teammates will all be coming over, so it could be one of them, but it could be someone else entirely. 

Popping open his breath mint package, he tosses one into his mouth and continues to mull over this question as the home begins to fill with familiar faces. 

~

The party is now underway, and with the house filled to the brim with professional volleyball players, Suna, who is used to towering over crowds of people in his day to day now feels average…

The extroverted balls of energy taking up all the cold air in the living room became too much for him, and he finds himself hiding away in the much quieter kitchen, helping Aran bring in a few bags of ice for the punch bowl. 

"We don't even need to keep them in the freezer," Suna remarks, passing by the window and catching a glimpse of the falling snow just beyond the frosting glass. "Just toss the other bags outside. 

"I agree," Aran chuckles, "I'm surprised just how many people were able to make it tonight." As if on cue, the doorbell begins to ring. "Look at that, another guest. Do you mind getting that, my hands are still wet."

He nods silently and steps out into the hallway toward the door. As he walks, he realizes that he knows most, if not all, of the party's attendees. Everyone from his fellow Olympians to V- League sponsors are within these warm walls, so who else could be coming?"

A bit of static shoots up his arm when he makes contact with the doorknob, but as he twists it, he fights the wind to pull the heavy door toward him. He comes face to face with the one person he always hopes to see. 

You…

His not-so-secret crush who looks so damn cute in your holiday sweater, 

H-hey" he breathes, suddenly thankful he took a breath mint earlier. "I didn't realize you were coming~ I mean, I'm glad to see you." 

"Hi," you say, the word turning into a cloud of condensation the moment it leaves your lips as you readjust your drip on the little appetizer plate you brought with you." I-it's good to see you," 

Your teeth chatter a bit as you smile up at the taller man. Suna takes a step back, ashamed that he kept you out in the cold for as long as he has. "Here, let me take that for you," he offers taking the tray from your chilly hands. 

"Thanks," you breathe, stepping into the warm house and removing your snow-crusted boots at the door. "It's cold out there, you'd think it was the dead of winter or something."

Your little quip makes him snort in amusement, his hands fly to his mouth as he internally scolds himself for his incapability to keep it cool. 

"let me show you where the other snacks are," he says, leading you through the house. Just out of the corner of his eye, he notices the Faux blonde head of Atsumu leering from behind a doorway. Locking eyes with his former classmate soon as shutters when the setter gives him a wink.

On instinct, his eyes narrow into a glare, the cold look getting your attention as you turn your head to figure out who the recipient is. Atsumu clearly is not as sneaky as he thinks he is because you definitely saw him disappearing behind the drywall.

. "Was that Atsumu?" you ask, but Suna just shrugs.

"Yeah, he's just being a little weird today." He says, not necessarily lying.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" You say changing the subject.

"Shoot." 

"do you know everyone here?" there's something in your voice that his natural perception picks up on. Nervousness.

"mostly, yeah. a lot of these people work in sports. Other volleyball teams, marketing departments, and sponsors. Why? Do you see someone you recognize?"

"The opposite, aside from you and a few others I feel like I don't know anyone here. Would you be all right if I stuck with you for a little bit?" Your eyes are wide, full of hope. As you basically ask him to hang out with you all night, but little did you know Suna is over the moon.

It's almost like the two of you are here at the party together… are together. 

He shakes that wonderful thought from his head as you walk by the staircase where the snack table is conveniently blocking the guests from going upstairs, (a recent addition from last year)

"Let's find some room for this," he says, looking down at the crowded table.

"Is there any room?" you ask, Staring down at the massive spread.

"Sure there is~" he trails off when he notices movement above you. 

A bundle of mistletoe sways just inches above your head, attached to a thin brown string that dangles from the level above. His golden eyes follow the string leading up and up and…

Atsumu…

He is still wearing that shit-eating grin as he maneuvers the mistletoe over your head. And suddenly, everything makes sense…

The Mints

The chapstick.

That creepy, identical look of Mischief on the twins' faces as they chuckled under their breath with every ring of the doorbell.

Suna's Secret Santa present is getting to kiss you, his crush, under the mistletoe. 

His eyes go wide as he looks over to you, thankful that you are still trying to figure out where to put your plate.

It's not that he doesn't want to kiss you because…God, look at you, but there are a million thoughts going through his head, and ninety-nine percent of them are negative.

What if you don't feel the same?

What if you were seeing someone and just never brought it up?

What if he kisses you, and you don't like it?

Clenching his fist, he decides to just ignore this golden opportunity. You still haven't noticed anything amiss yet, so he still has a chance not to embarrass himself or ruin anything. 

"Wanna get a drink?" he says quickly. The punch bowl should be in the living room, far away from any kind of balcony or open space. 

"Sure," you say, your smile making him weak in the knees as he takes your wrist and gently pulls you out of the mistletoe's range. 

~

The living room is definitely the place to be, the two of you have been having a great time people-watching, and the best part is, as the two of you chat away, he can clearly see Atsumu on the other side of the room. Keeping him at an arm's length will be the only way he doesnt blow his chances with you before the new year.

Suna has always been a pretty perceptive guy, but even then, he barely notices the grey head of Osamu sneaking up to him, another bundle of mistletoe in his hand. 

Ah, are they working together?" he mutters lowly, knowing that if Osamu makes it over to the two of them, there will be no way of getting out of this awkward situation. 

"Sorry? Did you say something?" you ask, picking up on his annoyed muttering. With the mistletoe within an arm's length of him, he has to act now.

"Follow me," he says. His voice sounding much more urgent than he intended it to be, his hand flies to the small of your back to guide you away.

You let out a small noise of confusion but allow him to steer you to the much quieter kitchen to hide from the twins for just a bit longer. But you dig your heels in at the doorway and look up at him seriously. "What's wrong?"

Suna's mouth goes dry as he tries to find a half-decent answer for his behavior. "I- uh. Just thought maybe…"

Yeah… he's got nothing. 

Your eyes scan his face with concern, but then they suddenly drift to something in the doorway above him. He follows your line of sight when he notices that there is another sprig of mistletoe taped securely to the wood. 

"Oh, look at that," you say, your eyes flickering back to him. "Is that Mistletoe?"

An opening…

"I think so." he responds, still testing the waters. "What do you think?"

You nod and he makes his move, his hand reaches to your chin and tilts it ever so slightly in his direction. Before your eyes flutter shut, there is an eagerness reflecting in them that makes him wonder why he had been so worried about doing this earlier. 

"Finally," you murmur against his lips, just before he captures them, stealing your breath as your knees threaten to give way under the massive weight of repressed mutual attraction breaking through to the surface. 

Although Suna is unsure of just how long he lost himself with you, by the time he comes up for air, he notices Kita standing over the sink, diligently washing an empty plate. A satisfied smile on his lips as he mouthes the words 'You're welcome."

Tagging: @pixelcafe-network Thank you guys for organizing such a fun event!

[emeryhall]

Thank you @run-for-chamo-miles for the tag!

In 2024, I posted 9 fics totaling 339,207 words, which is fucking batshit even if some of those words were written in 2023. My most popular fic in terms of kudos is arsonist Baz and firefighter Simon 🔥. But in terms of bookmarks, it's Blood Sugar Sex Moony (wolfstar), which includes my favorite bookmark ever ⬇️

Fics listed below the cut, plus a heartfelt PSA ❤️

January

Blood Sugar Sex Moony (wolfstar, E, 63.6K)

A vengeance-fueled, Buffy-inspired, 90s high school AU with a 17-person body count, featuring amazing art by @spikesteaseasalt.

A Little Bit Deadly (snowbaz, E, 48.9K)

New York City firefighter Simon Snow mistakenly downloads Grindr instead of Tinder and falls for British arsonist Baz Pitch. Featuring DEREK JETER and the most heart-warming art by @letraspal.

March

The Tale of a Magic-Sucking Hoover and a Rat-Drinking Monster (snowbaz, E, 38.7K)

Ghost mums, sentient buildings, and sex toys. Oh my!

June

Only Creatures (snowbaz, E, 88K)

Sad poet Baz Pitch and dragon camboy Simon Snow. Featuring Baz's beard, the hybrid-creatures camming site, OnlyCreatures, and a cameo by Taylor Swift, as well as absolutely gorgeous art by @artsyunderstudy.

October

Sidney Snow Grimm-Pitch (snowbaz, M, 43.7K)

My delightful collaboration with @artsyunderstudy, and a gift for @cutestkilla whose fic What's Left inspired this getting together later in life mpreg. Yes, mpreg.

whatever beats beneath (firstprince, E, 5.1K)

My foray into the RWRB fandom, when I thought I was writing an omarashi fic for a Kinktober prompt, but instead wrote an exploration of grief.

November

Pink Salt (Saltburn, E, 23.1K)

Sometimes the greatest love story is between an undead baker and the man who didn't realize he was a necromancer when he fucked his grave.

Bound Together in Five Dimensions (snowbaz, E, WIP, 4.7K and growing)

My CORB collab with @stardustasincocaine! I won't say anymore because we're posting the next chapter very, very soon 🩷

December

Out of the Game (firstprince, E, WIP, 23.9K and growing)

Another RWRB, this time scratching my itch to write in the detective/spy thriller genre. In the spirit of the Will Darling Adventures, and featuring truly inspired literary works by Henry, and an Alex who is perhaps not to be trusted. But then again, maybe Henry needs a little chaos in his life.

And finally, a PSA, written as much as a reminder to myself, as to anyone else who feels like their writing doesn't quite fit anywhere:

When I posted my first fanfic (wolfstar), no one read me. We’re talking like four kudos in a fandom where fics go viral. And at some point I thought, maybe I should attempt to write things that people actually want to read? 

I love writing deeply romantic stories, but I love stories like True Romance or The Shape of Water. Two people who are perfect for each other, but one is mute and the other is a fish god from Brazil. One stabs Tony Soprano in the foot with a corkscrew and the other communicates with an hallucination of Elvis. 

Finally, I found the Carry On fandom who enthusiastically embraced my Baz who excelled "at both deep-throating cock and scorching motherfuckers like a vengeance demon in floral Tom Ford." And then finally, finally, almost a year after it posted, people in the wolfstar fandom started reading Blood Sugar Sex Moony. Now, almost every day, I get kudos and (sometimes delightfully unhinged) comments on my wolfstar too. 

I don’t imagine I’ll ever be really, really popular, but I’ve found a group of readers — or they’ve found me — who appreciate the way my brain works, and little old high school me, who always believed that the best love stories are the strangest ones, knows that they are not alone. 

So my PSA to everyone out there who feels like Nora Ephron trapped in David Lynch trapped in Wes Craven — or whatever your unmarketable combo may be — keep on doing you. One day you will find your people 🩷

Also, thank you to everyone who read, kudos-ed, and commented on my fics, and a special shout out to all of the wonderful friends I've made in the Carry On fandom. Y'all have brightened my 2024.

And now, tags!

@bookish-bogwitch @monbons @roomwithanopenfire @fiend-for-culture @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

@thewholelemon @mooncello @iamamythologicalcreature @rimeswithpurple @orange-peony

@messofthejess @alexalexinii @best--dress @ileadacharmedlife @ic3que3n

@hushed-chorus @rbkzz @noblecorgi @facewithoutheart @larkral

@euripidestrousers @r33sespieces @artsyunderstudy @cutestkilla @letraspal

Plus anyone who wants to play. (I imagine this can be done for art too. Or dolls!)

[isak-dot-gov]

Awkward Beginnings

Pairing: Inês Bettencourt x Media Team!Reader

Word count: 1311

My Masterlist :)

The gym was alive with the usual chatter and buzz of sneakers squeaking against polished floors. You moved through it, your camera gear slung over your shoulder, getting used to your new role with the UConn women’s basketball media team. It was a busy but rewarding job, and it kept your mind focused—until a familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Hold up—no way! Is that who I think it is?” KK Arnold’s voice rang out, filled with surprise and joy. You turned, a smile forming as soon as you spotted her jogging over, her eyes sparkling with recognition.

“KK!” you laughed, feeling a warmth of nostalgia wash over you as she pulled you into a tight hug. It was strange but comforting to see someone from your high school days after so long.

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re here!” KK said, pulling back with a wide grin. “How did we not know we were going to the same school?”

You shrugged, still trying to process it. “I guess life just got busy. But yeah, I just started with the media team.”

“Perfect! You have to meet everyone,” she said, already grabbing your arm and guiding you through the gym.

She introduced you to the team, pointing out each player with a little anecdote or joke. When you reached the last of the group, KK motioned toward a girl standing near the back. “And this is Inês.”

Inês looked up, and your breath caught for a second. She was striking, her dark hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, eyes deep and expressive. She nodded slightly, and for a fleeting moment, you thought you saw her jaw tense.

“Hi, Inês,” you said, giving her a warm smile. 

“Hello,” she replied, her voice soft and almost unsure, like she wasn’t quite prepared to speak. Her eyes met yours for a second before skittering away, and she shifted on her feet. The silence felt longer than it should have, and when she didn’t say anything more, KK gave you a playful nudge to move on. But the moment lingered in your mind, making you wonder if you’d done something wrong.

Over the next few weeks, the team became a routine part of your life. You captured candid moments during practices, joked with the players, and even shared post-game pizza nights. Most of the team opened up to you quickly, treating you like you’d been part of their world for years. Except Inês.

The first time you tried to approach her alone, she was tying her shoes on the bench, and you’d wanted to ask her about the latest highlight reel. “Hey, Inês, quick question about—”

“Oh!” She nearly dropped her water bottle and fumbled to catch it, her face going red. “Um, sorry. What did you need?” 

“Just wondering if you could tell me what plays you wanted to feature for the reel,” you said, keeping your tone light.

She nodded so fast it was almost comical. “Yeah, sure. I’ll, uh, write it down for you later, okay?” And before you could say anything else, she was halfway across the gym, joining a group of her teammates.

Another time, you were packing up your camera after a game when you noticed her walking by. You decided to wave, offering her a smile. She hesitated for a second, then gave a small wave back but misjudged her step and almost bumped into a cart of basketballs. You could see her cheeks turning red even from a distance as she mumbled an apology to no one in particular and sped off before you could even say hi.

The moment that stuck with you the most, though, was during a team lunch. The cafeteria buzzed with laughter and conversation, and you found yourself seated across from Inês for the first time. You tried to start a casual conversation, but every question seemed to make her more uncomfortable.

“So, how did you end up choosing UConn?” you asked, genuinely interested.

Inês took a sip of her drink too quickly and coughed, her face going red as she struggled to answer. “Um, I—” She cleared her throat. “I just really liked the program.” The last word came out as more of a squeak, and she immediately looked down at her plate, avoiding your eyes.

The silence that followed was heavy, and before you could say anything to ease it, Azzi leaned over and rescued the conversation with a joke about her own first awkward day at UConn. But the whole time, you couldn’t help but notice Inês sneaking glances at you when she thought you weren’t looking, her expression torn between embarrassment and something else you couldn’t quite place.

Despite these moments, your initial excitement about the job was starting to be tinged with confusion. Why was she like this around you? Everyone else had been so easygoing, so friendly. But Inês’s cold silence—and the awkward moments that seemed to define every interaction—was beginning to make you feel like she simply didn’t want you around.

You started keeping your distance, exchanging polite nods when necessary but otherwise trying to spare both of you the awkward encounters.

One evening, the team gathered at Jana’s dorm for a casual night in. The room was filled with laughter, the smell of pizza, and the background noise of a movie that no one was really watching. Inês sat in a corner, fidgeting with her phone, while KK, Azzi, and Paige bantered loudly.

Azzi raised an eyebrow and leaned over to Jana. “Hey, anyone else notice how Inês goes mute whenever Y/n’s around?”

Jana smirked, nodding. “It’s like she forgets how to talk,” she joked, earning a few chuckles.

Inês’s face flushed, and she put her phone down, unable to ignore the conversation anymore. “It’s not… I just… she makes me nervous, okay?” The words tumbled out, and the room fell silent for a beat.

KK’s eyes softened as understanding dawned on her. “Oh. Oh.”

Inês sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I keep thinking I’ll say something stupid. She’s just… she’s amazing, and I don’t know how to be normal around her.”

Azzi smiled, leaning over to nudge her friend. “Well, you’re definitely not doing yourself any favours by being awkward.”

“Just talk to her, Inês,” Jana added. “Trust me, you’re making this way harder than it has to be.”

Inês nodded slowly, a mix of hope and anxiety flickering in her eyes. Tomorrow, she decided.  Tomorrow, she would find the courage.

The next day, you were setting up equipment by the sidelines when you heard familiar, tentative footsteps behind you. You turned and saw Inês standing there, looking as if she was summoning all her courage just to stay put.

“Hey, Y/n. Do you have a second?” she asked, her voice soft but more determined than before.

You set down your equipment, surprise mixing with curiosity. “Yeah, of course.”

She shifted nervously, but she didn’t break eye contact. “I know I’ve been… off around you, and I’m sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable. It’s not that I don’t like you. It’s… actually the opposite.” She took a shaky breath. “You make me nervous because I think you’re amazing, and I never know what to say.”

A wave of relief washed over you as her words sank in. “Really? I thought you didn’t like me.”

She let out a short, nervous laugh, her shoulders relaxing for the first time. “Not at all. I was wondering… would you maybe want to get coffee sometime? Just us.”

Your smile grew, the tension that had been building for weeks melting away. “I’d love that, Inês.”

Her face brightened, the nervous energy giving way to something softer, more hopeful. And as she walked away, you couldn’t help but feel that this was the start of something new, something that had been worth every awkward moment.

[ladylooch]

Bones - Part 11 [Mack x David]

A/N: First and foremost, please read the warnings below. This chapter is heavy. It is also one of my favorite chapters written in this series. Not because of the things that have happened, but because we learn so much more about David and his upbringing. How despite all of that, he is who he is now. It's an incredible tip of the cap to his character. I also am in love with the courage and strength shown by Mack in this chapter. Would love to hear your thoughts on this one, if you're willing to share 😘

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: scenes of violence, mentions of abuse, guns, death, grieving, drug use, trauma discussions.

(David)

The first time David can remember getting smacked by his older brother, Tommy, was at their hometown grocery store.

David was 5 and had gone into town with his dad and brothers to drop his mom off at bingo. His dad didn’t know how to cook, so on nights his mom went to bingo, they stopped at the grocery store and split buckets of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and coleslaw. His dad would even let David have a full can of Coke.

On this particular day, David has been salivating over the bucket of Dum Dums from the Customer Service counter. His dad was buying cigarettes- Marlboro Reds as always. David had gone on his tip toes when the clerk reached for the white bucket. He made the mistake of reaching into the bucket first and Tommy, the second oldest had smacked David upside the head so hard his ears started ringing. 

“Wait your turn, Turd!” A 13 year old Tommy had barked. His dad had watched the whole exchange and tiredly told Tommy to knock it off. When David got home, he cried in his mom’s arms about it. He shouldn’t have. The next day Tommy gave David a black eye for snitching and knocked the wind out of him with a kick to the stomach. David learned to keep those things to himself after that. 

He generally avoided Tommy growing up those next few years. It got easier when Tommy ran off with some of his buddies to the South, convinced they could get rich on fixing up old cars and hanging around NASCAR tracks. Instead, all Tommy found was drugs.

David will never forget the first time Tommy showed to the farm high on meth. He hadn’t looked right, swerving up the driveway in his beater. David had been by the barn, bottle feeding a new calf, when his mom had called his dad back from the field. Their daddy cocked that shotgun and Tommy was off. The following afternoon, Tommy was waiting outside David’s high school hockey practice. He grabbed David and threw him against the arena wall, demanding his wallet. David had $100 in there. Tommy stole it then knocked a right hook into David’s cheek. When he got home, he told his mom he got punched at practice. She almost made him quit hockey after that.

Coach had to talk her out of it. 

For the next few months, off and on, Tommy waited outside of practice for David. Sometimes he was high. Sometimes he wasn’t. David preferred when he was. When he was sober, he would cry and hug David. Lie to him that he needed this money to get back onto his feet. Then the next time David saw him he would be high, itchy and shakey- wild eyes that threatened at every movement David made. Until one day David came out of practice to see Tommy being led away with handcuffs.

“How could you do this to me!?” He had screamed. “You’re supposed to be my brother!!!!”

David wasn’t the one who called the police. Although it was never admitted to, he suspected it was his coach. 

That same hockey rink still sits across the street from where him and Mack are walking into the grocery store now. The inside of the store has changed a lot since David was 5- more modern and clean, but the memory still lingers at that customer service counter. 

“Okay, so what are we getting?” Mack asks him. David clears his throat, pulling himself out of the past and into the present with his beautiful wife. 

“Burgers and pasta salad and some potatoes. Maybe ice cream for dessert?”

“Mmm I’m so excited for this meal. Okay, do you want veggies for your burger? Like tomatoes, onions, lettuce?” 

“Yeah. You head over there. I’ll grab a cart.” He kisses her temple then they veer off in different directions. David looks out towards the parking lot seeing a familiar, beat up Ram truck. Rust has eaten away at the wheel wells, leaving the body of the truck edgy and rough. David pauses with a hand on a cart. 

It’s probably not the one he is thinking of. Last he heard Tommy hadn’t been in town since March. At least that’s the last time he was on the farm trying to push Felix around. The only thing that made him go away was Felix and his shot gun. Some things never change with Tommy.

David and Mack arrived back into town yesterday after a few weeks in Switzerland. They fell into bed, exhausted from the time change, but with no food in the house, they had to fight their jet lag and head to the store for an early dinner. David wheels the cart with one hand, seeing Mack over by the tomatoes. As he is walking, he glances up, looking towards the familiar customer service counter. There, he does a double take. 

“Fuck.” David mutters, holding his breath. He glances back to Mack. She holds a tomato up, inspecting it every which way before plopping it into a produce bag. She ties the bag off then heads towards the onions.

Internally, David struggles. Mack has not had to interact with his brothers in any of her prior visits to Iowa and he wants to keep that streak going. Knowing Tommy, he’s here for cigarettes and not groceries. So his time in the store should be short lived. David wheels the cart close to Mack, bringing her into his chest to keep his body between her and where he last saw Tommy.

“Have you ever grown onions?” Mack asks him, putting a white one into a bag then dropping the two bags into their cart.

“I’ve grown green onions.”

“We should try next year. I feel like we should come here first and get a garden going next year, then go to Switzerland.”

“You don’t trust Felix to do it?”

“Babe, he can’t do everything for the farm and grow our personal garden.” Mack chuckles. “Give the guy a break. And a raise.”

“He hates breaks.” David reasons. “What’s next?”

“Lettuce.” She cheers, going to the back aisle of the produce section. She filters through the different options with her typical measured calculations, then points to the butter lettuce. “That okay?”

“Mhm.” David doesn’t give a crap what lettuce they have. He’s going to eat it begrudgingly anyway.

His eyes lift over his shoulder, scanning the customer service counter. He breathes a sigh of relief when he realizes Tommy is gone. Good. He wraps an arm around Mack’s back, pulling her into his body and giving her a sweet, soft smooch. She awakens in his arms and when they pull away, her look can’t be mistaken.

She wants him to bend her over when they get home. He hopes she will get handsy with him on the way home too. He can see her now, tucking her hair into the collar of her t-shirt so she can take his di-

“Wow, look who decided to come home from the big city finally.” David’s shoulders tighten when he hears Tommy’s smug voice call from behind them. David puts his hands on Mack’s hip, steering her into the cart so she’s locked in by his body.

Her fierce brown gaze squints ever so slightly. God, he loves her fiery attitude.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce me to your pretty girl, little brother?”

Ice runs through David’s veins, then a white hot rush of anger. Before he can think better of it, he’s mouthing off.

“Fuck off.”

“Oooo whoa. Is that any way to treat family?” David laughs without humor.

“Don’t fucking lecture me about how to treat family. Look in the mirror.” 

Tommy walks to the end of the cart, keeping David from creeping forward. He puts his hands on the end of the coated metal, peering in at their limited groceries.

“This is why you’re so scronnie. What you eating vegetables only now?”

It’s laughable that David could ever be considered slim or thin or weak. David rubs at the pounding thud in the middle of his forehead, then backs the cart out of Tommy’s grasp. He lets Mack slide out from his arms. She stands at David’s side, gaze watchful and guarded.

“Tommy.” He extends his hand to her. 

“Mack.” She responds, but doesn’t take his hand.

“Polite.” Tommy grumbles them brings his piercing blue eyes back to his brother. David resists the urge to shove the cart forward and knock Tommy on his back. He has to keep his cool. He can’t go flying off the handle whenever he is around. That just eggs Tommy on.

“Heard you’re married. Guess my invite got lost in the mail. But of course Felix was there. It’s so fucking disgusting that you treat Felix like he was part of our family. He wasn’t. He is a bitch boy and you better not be giving him any profits on our-"

Staying calm is no longer an option.

“Shut the fuck up!” David yells. Mack steps back, visibly surprised at the tone of David’s voice. Other people look. The whole store seems to go quiet. David rounds the cart, pressing Mack back behind him so there is distance between them and her. Then he gets right in Tommy’s face, careful not to touch him. This asshole would be one to claim assault and try to sue David for his next round of drug money.

“Leave us alone, Tommy. And I’m not just talking about today. Leave us alone for good. We are here for the summer minding our own damn business. You better do the same.”

“Oooooo.” Tommy jokingly feigns being afraid. “Little brother is so tough now. They teach you that in the big city?”

“You know where I fucking learned how to beat your ass.” David spits. “Go.” He waves him away. Something about the look in David’s eyes has Tommy choosing to heed his advice.

Tommy does turn and leave while hissing out the mocking laugh that still makes David’s blood turn cold in his veins. 

Mack slides her hand up David’s arm but he flinches and pulls away from her touch.

David tries to recover, wrapping her hand in his, but Mack’s face reflects her worry back to him She doesn’t press and they continue on through the store. David can’t help looking over his shoulder as they leave the parking lot, even after he see’s Tommy’s truck is gone.

Something in the back of David’s mind nags at him. A part of him that knows this is far from the last interaction they’ll have with Tommy.

So much for home being their summer oasis. 

- - - & - - -

(Mack)

The silence in the house creates the perfect amplifier for the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. Mack and David sit together in the living room after dinner, desperately trying to fight off their jet lag. It’s almost 8pm, which is the time they set for themselves before going to sleep for the night. 

Although, judging by the harsh, set line of David’s jaw, she isn’t sure if he will be going to bed anyway. 

If Mack hadn’t liked David’s sister, Denise, she isn’t sure what she would call her feelings about the interaction with his older brother at the store. David had turned into something dark and mean. He yelled. She thought she was going to have to jump between both the men but at the last second, David got himself under control. It was unnerving for Mack to see her husband that way. Sure, he’s fought on the ice, but that is all superficial. Nothing like what she saw in David earlier. 

Mack yawns loudly as she tosses her book, stretching her arms above her head. David does the same with his magazine, then rubs at his eyes tiredly. He stands wordlessly, pulling Mack up from her spot on the couch. He goes into the kitchen, opening up the dishwasher to let the clean dishes air dry, then grabs himself and Mack a glass of water for bed.

After they both get settled beneath the comforter, David pulls Mack in close. Her pajama shorts smooth against the bare skin of his thighs.

“I don’t want to scare you but I need you to listen to what I’m gonna tell ya, honey.” He runs his fingers through her hair. “Tommy isn’t welcome here. And he isn’t to be anywhere near you, okay? He’s all messed up on drugs again and he gets mean when he’s like this. If he shows up here when I’m out in the field, call me or Felix.”

Mack nods silently. He nods curtly, then turns out the light like their discussion is done. Mack has never seen David so serious before. His voice holds this edge of protection and his eyes have lost the sparkle they had when they arrived in Iowa a few days ago. 

“You’re safe.” He reminds her. “But you need to know he can’t be trusted.”

Mack nods again, then clears her throat to speak so he knows her answer through the darkness.

“Okay.”

Mack eventually falls into a restless sleep. She wakes in the early hours of the morning, hearing quiet voices talking down the hall. She puts on a sweatshirt, adjusting her pajama shorts back down her thighs then opens the door. She pauses, hearing David’s quiet, soothing voice talking to someone.

“How do you think we handle this with the staff?” David inquires.

“I think we tell them if they see him or his truck to let one of us know. You and I are the only ones who should be dealing with him.” Felix answers. “What about Mack?”

“She’s fine.”

A long pause happens.

“You’re sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. You think I’d gamble with her?”

“He seems worse.”

“Yeah. He’s using again. Could see it in his eyes when he looked at us.” Another sigh from David. “I want you carrying. I will too.”

“Hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Well, it’s the only thing that gets a response from him.”

Mack’s eyebrows furrow. Carry? Like a gun? To her knowledge, David doesn’t have guns. Mack pushes the door open, letting the hinges squeak so they know she is coming. David greets her with a soft smile.

“Good morning.” He opens his arms for her to climb into his lap. She does, resting her cheek on his shoulder. He kisses her forehead as Felix rises.

“I’ll get the groups divided up and started. Have a good day, Mrs. Mackenzie.” Felix tips his cowboy hat at her, then heads to the front door.

“Is he ever going to call me Mack?”

“Probably not.” David chuckles. “He always called mama Mrs. Carlson.” 

Mack brushes his drying hair back from his forehead. The strands cling together as his hand grips her hip. She brings her eyes to his. 

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just letting Felix know about Tommy. I want him to be aware.”

“Okay.” She nods. He tucks a chunk of her hair back behind her ear. His fingers linger lovingly on her cheek, drinking her in.

“What are you up to today?”

“I need to work. Time to write up some of our travels in Europe.”

“Mmm, nice. You’re staying here then?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll be close to the house today, in the first pasture. Come out and you can watch me cut some grass.”

“Tempting.” She widens her eyes sarcastically. “But you probably won’t see me.”

“Okay.” He pats her butt for her to stand.

His boots hit the wood floor heavily as he goes to grab himself some coffee in his thermos. Mack watches him walk to the fridge. He grabs a mason jar with the overnight oats she made him last night. When he turns back to grab his thermos, she sees a leather holster attached to his belt. 

“What’s that??”

“For my gun.” He says simply, grabbing a spoon from the silverware drawer.

“What??” She questions, sitting up straight in the chair. “David, you just told me last night that we are safe and now you’re wearing a gun to work?

“It’s not unusual here, babe.” He tries to soothe her.

“You didn’t have that at all when I have been here. Not once, David. Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.”

David grabs the pot of coffee, pouring himself some into a white Michigan Hockey mug. He wipes his thumb under his nose, sniffing. He turns his butt to the counter, leaning against it as she stares him down, waiting for an explanation. He finally sighs.

“I take my job of protecting you seriously. I don’t trust my brother on crack. This gives me peace of mind.”

Mack’s head is spinning, not comprehending what’s going on at all. She wasn’t even aware there were guns on the property. David has never mentioned it in present tense. Sure, she knows he has hunted in the past, but he never mentioned he had hand guns. 

“I-I’m not comfortable with guns.” Mack swallows hard, grabbing the sleeves of her sweatshirt into her hands. David frowns, rubbing at his face and neck. 

“Okay. I respect that. We can talk more about that tonight, but I gotta get going right now, okay?” Mack can hear the roar of the farm equipment starting up. He grabs his thermos, then comes to her chair. He kisses her. “Have a good day, honey.” 

Mack watches from the table as he opens up the front closet. He works a few stray jackets to the side, exposing a large safe. He punches in a few numbers, then the mechanical locks twist and click. David turns the handle to reveal a large quantity of guns. He grabs one from the top shelf, double checking something on it, then pushing it into his holster. He shuts the door, then waves at her before opening up the front door. When it shuts behind him, Mack closes her eyes with a sigh.

Through out the day, Mack tries to work but can’t. Her focus keeps being pulled to the front closet where that tall, black safe sits. Her eyes continuously pull to the closed door, wondering what else is in there. The same mantra loops in her brain: that safe is big. Tall too. Like what else is in there?

By the time David comes home for the day, she’s got herself all sorts of worked up. He’s sweaty when he comes through the front door, bringing with him the hot, sticky summer air. He already has his dirty hat and shirt off. He tosses them onto the bench as he lays down on his back for a second.

“Uh, fuck, I’m tired.”

Mack nods in acknowledgement, keeping her gaze on her computer. She quietly types away, continuing to work on her outline. She nudges her blue light glasses back up her nose as David kicks off his boots and socks. Eventually, he peels himself off the floor, then goes to take a shower. When he comes out he grills brats and they eat dinner at the kitchen table together.

“How was your day?” He asks.

Mack doesn’t respond but she does look towards the front closet again. She turns her gaze back to him with a wrinkle in her nose.

“How many guns do you have?” She asks quickly, ignoring his question.

“10.” He answers immediately. “They’re all registered. They’re always locked up unless they’re on me. I take firearm safety classes regularly. Been shooting since I was 8.”

“Okay.” She nods. “Can I have the combination?” She asks.

“Sure, after you take a firearm safety class.” He tells her around a bite of salad. Mack pauses. Something unpleasant and unnerving rips through her. It chills her body and locks her spine up. Slowly, she puts her fork down. 

“I’m really weirded out that you have a safe full of guns that only you have the combination to. I feel…” She trails off. Because how does she tell him that it makes her feel unsafe now? “Unsure.” She settles on.

“Okay. I can have Felix take the safe tomorrow. What would you like to do for tonight?”

“Oh.” She says quietly. “I didn’t mean… um.”

“This is your home too, honey. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable. But I can’t give you that combination. I have to keep you safe from things both inside and outside this house.”

Mack swallows hard. She is starting to feel really shakey and emotional. They have only been in Iowa for three days, but she is becoming overwhelmed with how different this stay has begun, and how much anxiety she is experiencing in the current moment.

“I think I’m gonna go lay down,” She says, standing up fast. Her chair skids across the floor, almost falling back behind her. David stands too, slower, concerned, but Mack backs away when he walks forward to comfort her. He stops immediately, staring at her.

“Go ahead, baby. I’ll stay here.” He encourages, hands slightly up in surrender to her.

Mack quietly turns and goes to their bedroom. She closes the door, then sits cross legged on the bed before bursting into tears. She’s really confused and blindsided by what is going on. Then on top of it, David is acting weird, which is making her more uncomfortable. All of a sudden he’s yelling in grocery stores and has a gun on him? That’s a whole different side of him Mack has never seen. Almost like he is a completely different person.

She didn’t grow up around guns or shooting like him. He didn’t talk to her about this safe or his unstable brother before he got here. She hasn’t shared with him the why behind guns making her uncomfortable because she didn’t think she had to. Now, she’s here, in a place she still doesn’t know very well, having to deal with heavy topics while completely out of her element. 

Mack remains in their room by herself, taking some time to calm down alone. She can hear David cleaning up dinner. The dishwasher starts then a soft thump of the front door closing, meaning David is outside. She relaxes her shoulders, trying to untense her body.

Mack’s head begins to pound. She disappears into the bathroom to grab some medicine then lays down under the covers, curled up into a comma, reminding herself that she is safe. She falls asleep like that quickly, arms wrapped around herself too.

When she awakens, it’s dark outside and the clock next to the bed says 12:39 am. She sits up, looking around the room. David’s side of the bed is still made. The door is still shut. No light comes in from beneath the door. She can hear the crickets whispering outside the bedroom windows. Within these small four walls, Mack feels like the only one in the Iowa country side tonight.

Hair on the back of her neck sticks up. Her eyes begin to tear as a lump forms in her throat. She is really scared. Like she can’t breathe. Her chest heaves. She grips at her throat with her fingers then slides out of the bed. She rushes across the room, throwing the door open. The house is so dark. There are no illuminating streetlights this far out from a bigger city, so Mack stumbles down the hallway, gripping at the wall to lead herself toward the main area.

“David?” She calls through chattering teeth.

Mack can hear every octave of her shuddered breaths.

“David!” She sobs when there is no answer. Her fingers hit a picture frame, sliding it off the nail on accident. It crashes to the floor, jolting her fear to a higher level.

She begins to full on panic, sobbing, dropping to her knees. She can’t hear David calling to her. She is paralyzed in the hallway.

Then, “Mack. It’s me. I’m going to touch you.” David taps her knee then runs his fingers up her thigh to her back, fully enclosing her. “You’re okay. I’m right here.”

David leans back into the wall, pulling her body completely into his. He cradles her softly, gently murmuring to her that she is safe. Mack continues to sob, big quaking shudders that smear tears across his bare chest.

David reaches for his phone, turning on the flashlight, so he can see her face. Then he cups her chin in his hand. Her amber eyes are squeezed shut, lips warped from her cries. Eventually, with David’s touch and steady assurance, Mack calms down. She stares down at the floor, silent tears still falling.

“I-I tho-ought y-you le-e-eft.”

“Oh, baby. No. I stayed out here to give you space. I’m right here. Not going anywhere.”

Mack starts to cry again in relief and exhaustion and probably a lot of other ways. But what matters is David picks her up and takes her to bed. He pulls the covers over them and holds her as tight as he can. She’s smooshed into his bare chest. Her wet tears sink into his skin.

David is able to get Mack back to sleep. When his alarm goes off at 5, he turns it off fast. The room illuminates from David’s screen as he sends Felix a text to let him know he’s in charge. With everything going on between him and Mack, he can’t work safely today. Finally, he pulls Mack in tight again and falls back to sleep.

Hours later, they wake up like that together.

David rubs Mack’s back to help her wake up, then stretches out his legs and lower back which hurt from falling asleep on the couch. Mack is shy but doesn’t pull away from him.

“I’m so sorry. About everything that happened yesterday. I have not handled this well at all. I don’t think I could have done worse than this, babe.” His voice is a tentative, apologetic whisper.

Mack nods, then rubs at her gritty and swollen eyes.

“If you want to go back to New York, I understand.”

She shakes her head no.

“Mack, babe, I’m trying to be patient here but I’m really worried you’re falling outta love with me right now, so can you give me something?”

“I’m more in love with you than I’ve ever been.” She assures him. “I have some things I haven’t told you before and they came up yesterday. It wasn’t only about what was happening here, now.”

The kiss David lays on her has Mack curling into his body tighter. His lips suck her up, then his tongue. His hands alternate between gripping and rubbing her. She cups his jaw when they pull apart for air.

“My family was robbed once.” Mack blurts.

David stills. His eyebrows pull together and Mack can feel his jaw tighten under her hand.

“My mom was pregnant with me at the time. They cased our house. Waiting for my dad to be gone then broke in with guns. They put a gun to my mom’s head and tied her up while Lucie was upstairs sleeping.” David tenseness moves from his jaw throughout the rest of his body.

“The last thing he wanted to take were her wedding rings. My mom fought back. He knocked her over and broke her collar bone, then threatened to come back and teach her a lesson when my dad was out of town next.”

“What the fuck.” He hisses.

“Yeah. We moved after that. They caught him and he was convicted, did some jail time but he’s still out there in the world now, with the sense of home and security he stole from all of us that night.”

She pauses, pulling in a deep breath to settle her discomfort.

“So yeah. Guns make me uncomfortable. And give me panic attacks. And turn sweet men into scary, unknown people.” She whispers the last part. He needs to know how he made her feel yesterday.

“Baby, I would never hurt you.” He whispers, swallowing his wounded pride to make sure she knows he means it

“I know, David. But that feeling I have in my chest is never going to go away. Whether you’re holding the gun or someone else. It’s trauma.”

“I understand. What do you need me to do so you feel safe?”

“I want us to do other things than just have you walking around with a gun on the farm. That is not the solution to this.”

“Okay.” David nods. 

When they’re ready to rise from bed and greet the world, they have a plan. The gun safe is being moved to Felix’s until Mack gets more comfortable. Their plan also includes a new security system with cameras at the front gate, barn, and house. They get new, more sophisticates locks and stop doing their country tendencies of leaving the doors unlocked. 

After a few days of self-reflection, Mack signs up for a firearm safety class and after that, she gets the combination to the safe, exactly as he promised he would. Mack doesn’t feel the need to continue more after that, but learning how to use it and be safe, took away a lot of her fear around it.

The guns move back in the house and Mack’s attention goes back to normal things like work, the upcoming country fair, and her husband’s steady hand in hers.

- - - & - - -

Weeks later, Mack and David are driving the truck back from their sunflower patch. David’s hand is on Mack’s thigh, tapping along to the beat of a country song flowing through the old speakers. It’s a bit crackly, but Mack loves this old truck. Her and David had been out watching the sunset and making love in the truck bed.

The truck rolls up the hill from the pasture back onto the gravel road. Mack then lays her head on David’s shoulder. The cool blue of the night makes the white house they pull up to stark. The truck rounds the corner and David slows down almost to a stop. Mack lifts her head, seeing a blue, beat down truck in front of the house. Every muscle in David’s body coils up. He parks the truck in it’s spot by the barn. Mack sits up, watching as the person gets out of the driver’s side door.

It’s Tommy.

“David?”

He reaches around her to the glove box, pulling out a handgun Mack didn’t know was in there.

“Go straight inside, honey.”

“David.” Mack worriedly whispers this time.

“Baby, don’t fight me. I can tell he has been using. Get inside the house.” David shakes his head sternly. He tucks the gun in the waistband of his pants at the small of his back. David walks around the truck, then opens Mack’s door.

“Should I call…” She trails off because David isn’t listening to her. She swallows hard as he forces her forward to the house with a firm hand on her back. He doesn’t release her until her foot hits the first step of the porch. Mack hustles inside, quickly shutting the door behind her. 

“You’re not welcome here and you’re trespassing on my land.” David reminds him.

Mack watches from inside the house. She begins to tremble from fear and adrenaline. 

“Your land?” Tommy spits out with a laugh, then starts walking around the truck to David. David doesn’t move, hands loosely on his hips.

“Oh shit.” Mack mutters watching as Tommy shoves David. 

“This isn’t yours. It’s ours.”

“It’s fucking mine now. You got your cut, now fuck off.”

“Daddy would whip you with his belt if he heard you talking to me like that.”

“He wouldn’t. This land is still in Carlson hands because of me. He’d be proud of that. There have been some hard years since he died and I’m the one who made sure this farm survived. Not you. Not Charlie. Not Denise. Me.” David’s voice begins to raise. “How fucking dare you come here and say that to me.”

Tommy scoffs and shakes his head. He turns to look out towards the driveway then suddenly lunges at David out of nowhere. Even if Tommy was in great physical shape, he wouldn’t stand a chance against David. But still, Mack gasps and clutches her throat. She digs in her back pocket for her phone, fumbling with it as David flips Tommy onto his back.

Mack can feel the thud of his body on the dirt vibrate through her chest. Tommy struggles to breathe after. David gets down and says something quietly to him. Then he stands back on his feet and waits for Tommy to get back in his truck to leave. It takes Tommy a minute to get his bearings again, then he stumbles along to the driver’s side door. 

“You’ll get yours, little brother.” Tommy hisses out. Fear slices through to Mack’s core. 

After Tommy leaves in a whirl of dirt, David picks up his old Rangers hat that fell off during the altercation. He comes up the porch with heavy steps. Mack greets him in the entry way with tears on her cheeks.

“It’s okay, honey. C’mere.” He brings her into his chest with a hand on the back of her head. Mack sobs into his body. “We are safe. Don’t worry. I’m not going to let him hurt us.” 

Mack can’t help but think what that cost could be to them. He won’t let anyone hurt them, but what will he have to do to prevent the harm?

Call it fate, or maybe Devine intervention, but that night is the last time Mack and David ever see Tommy.

Two weeks later, as Mack and David are sharing coffee on the front porch, a sheriff’s car slowly rolls up into the driveway. It is David’s good friend, Trevor.

“Hey Trev.” David waves, scratching his chest hair with his other hand. 

“David, Mack.” He nods to them both, then takes off his green sheriff’s hat.

Sensing Trevor’s seriousness, David sits up in his chair, dropping both his feet back to the ground. Mack stands, getting off his lap so David can greet Trevor more formally. The two men shake hands, then Trevor says, “We had a drug raid early this morning off Aspen.”

“That green house on the corner?”

“Yeah.”

“That place should have been condemned long ago.” David sighs.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Not as simple as when your daddy was mayor.” David nods in agreement. 

“The world is different. What’s that house got to do with us?”

“Well, in our sweep of the house, we found Tommy there.” Mack’s blood goes cold at the way David stills. “He wasn’t responsive. We transported him to Pella Regional, but it was too late, Dave.” David stares down at Trevor, hands on his hips in disbelief. Mack’s fingers shake over her mouth as she looks at her husband. She blinks tears she didn’t know had formed down her cheeks. 

“Are you serious?” David whispers to Trevor.

“Yes, sir. I am so sorry.” David licks his lips, then looks away from Trevor, staring up at the bright blue sky him and Mack had just been appreciating. “We need next of kin to come identify the body. I thought about going to Charlie but…” Trevor trails off. Everyone on that porch knows Charlie would have waved them away to disappear into the bottle, and made David do it anyway.

“Um, yeah. I’ll go change and meet you up there.” 

“Sure.” Trevor nods. “Are you okay to drive?”

“Yeah, Trev.” 

“Okay. I’ll see you at the station. Ask for me; I’ll take you.” The two men share a look of old friends, who understand each other and this circumstance. Trevor being the one to take David is a man trying to be the best friend he can be in an ugly life moment. Trevor puts his hat back on his head and gets back into his car. David watches the rocks kick up from the dirt road after the SUV, creating a plum of smoke like haze that blurs his view with his tears.

Mack carefully walks over to him. She pastes herself to his back, pushing her forehead into the deep valley of his spine. Her fingers grip as much of him as they can. She has no words. No amount of scrambling of her brain can come up with what to say to him. 

“I guess I gotta go. I can make pancakes when I get back.” Mack winces. Then grabs at him to turn him to look at her.

“Are you…” She stops herself. Of course he isn’t okay. “I’ll go with you.”

“No. Please don’t.” Mack purses her lips, trying not to feel hurt. This isn’t about her.

“Okay.” She whispers back as he walks around her. The screen door slams behind him. She hears David sigh heavily then inhale sharply like he is sobbing. She turns, watching him hit his knees in the living room. Then a gut wrenching wail rips through the house. Mack starts to sob in response. She walks into the house, collecting his big body into her arms. She buries her nose and a hand into his hair, collecting his tears and snot on her shirt. 

“I didn’t want this to happen to him!” He wails to Mack. “I just wanted him to leave us alone!”

“I know, baby. It’s not your fault.” Mack digs her finger prints deeper into his back, trying to hold him tight enough.

“Why does this keep happening to me?” He rocks forward, almost sending Mack to her back. She tightens her core to keep them both upright. “What did I do wrong?!”

“Nothing, baby. Nothing. You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry.” 

It’s not enough. 

How could any words be when someone lost their life last night?

- - - & - - -

David doesn’t hold a funeral for his brother, there is no otherwise celebration of life. His other siblings don’t even acknowledge the loss of Tommy. Charlie rolls out of town again without a word, disappearing to roam along the West with some girl he met at a bar up in Des Moines. Denise and her family stay in Texas because “it’s just too hard”. So David takes days off from the farm over the next few weeks to settle Tommy’s affairs. He closes out his debts. Sells off the little items he had, including the run down trailer he was living in. He calls their extended family to let them know. No one is surprised. They all hope he has found peace in the next stage of existence. 

It’s Mack who suggests that David bury Tommy’s cremated remains by their parents. David stared blankly across the room at her then gave a single nod. He picked up the phone again and made a few more calls.

They buried Tommy on a Sunday morning. A local preacher from the church David’s mom loved when the kids were growing up stops by to say a few words. David doesn’t cry a single tear. He looks down at the torn up ground with an empty look. Mack folds their fingers together as they walk back up to the house. David stands at the bottom of the porch steps. Mack steps up, then turns back to look at him. 

“I want to leave.”

“Okay. Where should we go?”

“Back to New York. I’m sick of this fucking place.” Mack bites her lip worriedly then nods. 

“When?”

“Tomorrow.” 

“David.” Mack sighs, rubbing his palm. “We need to give Felix more time.” She reminds him. 

“I can’t.” He shakes his head. “I’ve gotta get outta here.” 

Mack understands. He knows she does because in a different way, she has felt the same ache he has complained about in his chest since Trevor showed up in the driveway. 

“Okay. Go. I’ll take care of the house, close it up for us and do what needs to be done here.” David nods, then walks around her into the house. 

The next day, Mack drops David off at the airport. He flies to New York and disappears there  alone. Mack takes three weeks to close up the farm. She could have been done in four days, but she knew David needed that time alone in New York. He went on long motorcycle rides. He grieved. He called her and cried on the phone at 2 am several nights. He got another tattoo. He started seeing the team psychologist to work through his grief- of the brother he had and the one he wished he did. But David got through it in the way he needed to. 

When Mack returned to New York, he was better, more himself than she had seen him since that first interaction with Tommy. Having her back with him healed him more. He started to laugh again, joke around with Woody, and build legos with Stella. He even went out for a beer with Lio and caught a Mets game with him. By the time the season started, David found himself in a good place with everything. 

He tells her as much on their last non-hockey morning together, sipping coffee.

“I’m feeling at peace with what happened this summer.”

“Yeah?” She murmurs, closing the book she had been reading.

“Yeah. I felt bad for awhile that I… like… felt relieved that he was gone? I didn’t have to worry about what he was doing anymore. He really had me on edge when we were back in Iowa. I felt violent and you sensed that the day I pulled the gun out of the safe.” Mack contemplates, then nods in agreement. “I don’t feel that way anymore. Yeah, Charlie is around town still, but he flows in and out like a breeze. Tommy was always around. Always threatening a run in or showing up and hollering at Felix when he knew I came back to New York. Not having to worry about that anymore is a relief.”

“I bet.” Mack nods assuringly. She reaches for his hand. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry that… his death is so much more complicated than it should have been. You should have been able to grieve this a different way.” David shifts closer to her on the couch then pulls her into a strong, loving hug.

“You’ve been so amazing with me through this. Thank you. I can’t imagine how I would have gotten through all of this without you. It’s like.. I shifted so much but you never took it personally. You stepped in and did whatever I needed and figured it all out. Thank you.”

“I like taking care of you.” She responds quietly.

“You’re good at it too.” 

Yeah. She is. 

And that’s something Mack didn’t realize until now. How good she can be at taking care of her people. 

That realization will nudge and change her life in a way she’ll never see coming. 

[slaymitchabernathy]

Staking the Claim

| “Nothin' happened in the way I wanted, every corner of this house is haunted. And I know you said that we're not talkin', but I miss you, I'm sorry.” |

Coriolanus Snow has sat in many offices.

It’s a way of life. He’s sat in front offices at school, doctor’s offices, work offices.

He’s never sat in a lawyer’s office until today.

Because today the divorce is being finalized.

He drums his fingers against the mahogany desk, thinking of where it went wrong and how this divorce will affect him and his reputation for the rest of his life.

He tried to be good, a good husband, a good partner, a good father. But he wasn’t and neither of them could try anymore, try to make it work.

Divorce is highly frowned upon in their elite circles, only occurring in cases of abuse but never has he laid a hand on his wife. But he’s definitely said things and she has too. It’s better this way.

It’s better this way.

“This will be quick,” his lawyer, Mr. Nimbus promises him with a polite smile, “we’ve already gotten all of the hard work out of the way. All that’s left is to sign the last few papers and it’ll be done.”

Eight years down the drain, boiled down to a few sheets of paper and scribbles from a pen.

Coriolanus still remembers the first time he ever laid eyes on his wife. He had been walking to the library when he caught a glimpse of her bright blonde hair headed to the courtyard. He was suddenly very interested in the courtyard.

He followed her there and couldn’t help but notice how the scent of vanilla seemed to follow her everywhere. After watching her for a few days, he worked up the courage to properly introduce himself to her.

Soarynn Nightingale was beautiful. She was kind, talented, generous, and so thoughtful of others. She was one in a million and he was one lucky man. She stood by his side through everything, through graduation, through University and until the last two months, his aspiring political career.

Coriolanus plans on becoming President one day.

This wasn’t something he had ever mentioned to Soarynn who never yearned for a place in the spotlight like he did. No, she was more than content to start their own little family and live a quiet, comfortable life.

That wasn’t good enough for Coriolanus though. He wanted more, needed more and in the end, it drove her away.

At first he didn’t understand why she’d ever suggest separating. They had a family, a daughter. How could she put their little girl through that?

But after reading through her file, her statements and reasoning behind this divorce, he understood where he went wrong. He pushed Soarynn to the edge with the late nights, long hours, high expectations and little reward. He became less affectionate, more cynical and critical.

There were days where he didn’t even see his wife or daughter and Soarynn eventually had enough of it.

It had caused quite a stir in their circles. Their wedding had been a high society wedding, watched by all and admired by many. Soarynn had been a beautiful bride and it had been a very expensive wedding.

He can’t believe it’s over.

The door opens and he sits up straighter, refusing to look over his shoulder, to look at her.

Their lawyers greet each other, he knows her lawyer, he’s been the Nightingale’s lawyer for years now. Once Soarynn filed for divorce, her father, Glen Nightingale made sure that his daughter demanded and received everything she deserved.

Soarynn and their daughter Ceraphina have been staying with Glen since then, leaving Coriolanus with an empty penthouse to come home to every night.

It’s an eerie, terrible feeling. To walk into his daughter’s room with all her toys but find it empty squeezes his heart. To walk into their bedroom and not see Soarynn lying on their bed or sitting at her vanity goes against everything he’s ever known.

He even finds it strange not to see Petunia prancing around their apartment, leaving little tufts of white fur wherever she goes.

Soarynn’s lawyer takes his seat next to Mr. Nimbus and Soarynn takes her seat next to Coriolanus. The scent of vanilla washes over him and he glances at her from the corner of his eye. He hasn’t seen her for a few weeks, he’s been busy with his campaign and she’s been busy doing her best to care for their daughter while dealing with this divorce.

Coriolanus isn’t a glutton for punishment and neither is Soarynn, which has led to this being a rather quiet and civilized divorce. There have been whispers about it of course, it’s not everyday a prominent Capitol couple calls it quits.

But Soarynn hasn’t run off to the tabloids to sell their secrets and he’s so very grateful for that.

She’s never been one to kick others when they’re down.

“Let’s get started then,” Mr. Nimbus grunts, opening the file in front of him, “I believe we are here to discuss the custody of Ceraphina Snow and who will be taking possession of the Snow penthouse on the Corso.”

Soarynn’s lawyer opens up his briefcase, pulling out his own documents.

“Yes, Ms. Nightingale has filed for her to have sole custody of their daughter, Ceraphina Snow. Visitations will be permitted, unsupervised as long as they are properly scheduled and approved by Ms. Nightingale.”

It feels like there’s water in his ears.

Coriolanus can’t imagine not seeing his daughter every day, not hearing her laugh, not seeing her smile up at him like he’s the greatest man in the world.

The masculine, dominant part in him wants to fight for her, to demand that he be given full custody or at least half.

But can he do that to his little girl?

He still remembers the night he came home to Soarynn packing her things into a suitcase, how livid he had been when he saw her packing Ceraphina’s things too.

“You can’t take my daughter away from me,” he had claimed, filled with anger and frustration.

“She’s my daughter too Coriolanus,” Soarynn had reminded him, closing her suitcase, “and it won’t be any different, you barely see her as it is.”

She was right.

Coriolanus has been offered a handful of opportunities to see Ceraphina since they moved out and he’s only taken a few due to his busy schedule. From what he’s heard, she spends every second with Soarynn, going shopping, going to the park, out to eat with friends.

Should he fight for custody of her, she’ll grow up with a nanny rather than her mother and he can’t do that to her.

He loves her too much.

“Give her full custody,” Coriolanus says to Mr. Nimbus, clearing his throat, “I’ll pay whatever child support the court decides on.”

Mr. Nimbus looks puzzled by his sudden and clear decision but Coriolanus knows what needs to be done. If he loves his daughter, which he does, then he’ll let Soarynn raise her. And he’ll visit when he can, take her out for little dates, remind her how much he loves her and how much Soarynn loves her as well.

She’s a spitting image of her mother in both looks and kindness and he’d be a monster to take that spark away from her.

He finally gains to courage to look over at Soarynn and he can see the relief in her face, the tears in her eyes. Her hands are shaking and she nods, blowing out a deep breath, “I agree to those terms,” she says softly.

Coriolanus wants to reach out to her. He wants to grab her hand and wipe her tears because she shouldn’t feel this way, shouldn’t have come here prepared to put up a fight to have custody of their daughter.

But she did and he can’t.

Nothing has happened in the way he wanted.

Mr. Nimbus scratches several things out on his documents and warily eyes Coriolanus, “Then it’s come down to the penthouse which might I remind everyone, is an ancestral home to the Snows, dating back to the beginning of Panem.”

Coriolanus remembers the day Soarynn moved into his penthouse. How she transformed it, made it into a home. He remembers their first night together, baking cookies in the kitchen, dancing in the living room. He remembers brining Ceraphina home from the hospital after she was born, just a tiny little thing.

Every corner of that penthouse is haunted.

“He can keep it,” Soarynn tells her lawyer who is now the one who looks surprised. Coriolanus is shocked as well, she put so much time and effort into transforming the penthouse, making it more timeless, a space to pass down for generations.

She tears her gaze away from the desk and looks at Coriolanus, taking his breath away, “It’s yours,” she says, “we’ll live with my father in my own ancestral home.”

Coriolanus doesn’t quite know what to say, while Soarynn came prepared to fight for their daughter, he came prepared to fight for his home.

It seems that they’re both full of surprises today.

“I agree to those terms,” he finally says, swallowing down a lump in his throat.

Their lawyers probably came here prepared to throw down and put up a nasty fight but neither parties seem interested in watching the other person bleed.

They’ve both been hurt in different ways.

All that’s left is to sign the papers.

“Sign here, here, and here,” Mr. Nimbus says to Soarynn, pointing at several dotted lines on different documents. She looks at her lawyer who nods, all terms have been looked over and agreed upon. He’ll keep the penthouse, Soarynn will keep Ceraphina who will be able to see her father whenever she pleases. Soarynn will inherit the money she’s entitled to and Coriolanus will keep the rest.

She signs the last line and holds out the pen to Coriolanus who slowly takes it from her hand.

He stares down at the papers in front of him. He can’t believe it’s come to this. He wishes he could go back, change the past, be a better man, a better father, a better husband.

But he can see how tired she is, how exhausting this has all been for her. Coriolanus hasn’t stopped loving Soarynn and he knows she hasn’t stopped loving him either but if you love something, then you let it go.

He signs the papers, finalizing their divorce in black ink.

After documents have been filed away, everyone stands. Their lawyers shake hands and whisper things to their clients who are both quiet.

Mr. Nimbus gives Coriolanus a pat on the shoulder, “Good luck with your campaign, Mr. Snow.”

Coriolanus nods, watching him leave the room.

Soarynn’s lawyer gives her arm a friendly squeeze and follows Nimbus out into the hallway. Leaving Soarynn and Coriolanus alone in a room for the last time.

“Here,” Soarynn says, sliding off her wedding ring, “you should have it back.”

Coriolanus shakes his head, doing his best to act nonchalant, “No, keep it.”

But Soarynn takes a step closer, a persistent look in her stormy blue eyes, “It was your mother’s, please, take it.”

She’s right. It was his mother’s wedding ring and it was the perfect fit for Soarynn’s ring finger.

He takes it from her and slides it into his pocket, “Thank you. Thank you for everything,” he says, hoping she picks up on what he really means.

She does. She does because she knows him like the back of her hand and she sighs, carding a hand through her hair, “We had a good run,” she decides, “good times, good memories. I hope we can keep it that way.”

Coriolanus smiles, a real smile, the first one in weeks, “I’d like that. I’ll see about scheduling a time to see Ceraphina.”

Soarynn slides her purse onto her shoulder, nodding, “Good, she’s been asking about you.”

He looks at her differently now. Soarynn is no longer a woman he’s expected to protect, to love and cherish and yet, he still plans on doing all of those things. Not out of guilt, but out of respect for what they had and what she’s given him.

She gave him eight amazing years, unconditional love and a family.

She gave it her all.

He sighs, this is it. No longer will they be known as the Snows. Death will not do them part.

“Take care of yourself,” he tells her even though he knows that Soarynn is more than capable of taking care of herself.

Soarynn smiles, “It was nice knowing you.”

He misses her already.

“It was nice knowing you too.”

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[deesseshesca]

PAC:LETTER FROM PREGNANT SELF (HIS POV) 18+

PILE 1  

It would not surprise me if your baby father was in an extremely abusive relationship with his ex. May have other kids before he meets you (only for 50% of people reading this). You  may be an sex worker. If you are a stripper, you meet that person at work and actually become each other's safe place. Only for them, the rest of y’all, there was a natural development of the relationship and unfolding of each other's life. 

My (flower name (if you have a fav flower he might call u that in his language OR  is your stage name) 

I could spend a lifetime showing my devotion to you. To say we found love in a hopeless place is such a short statement of reality. I want to apologize for all the rough ways I dealt with you. You know I became so passive with life that pouring any kind of emotion was an expensive action. I spent years trying to make it work with my ex and honestly I would rather not talk about it but since this damm (watch your words…) girl keeps trying to pull on my energy here I am. I hate talking about her, you think it is because it hurts. Sure it does, I should have never been treated that way, should have never been ridiculed and humiliated. I should have never been yelled at because of my opinions or even beat on just because I was not providing something tailor to miss extremely complicated taste. Let’s fucking face it, what have I not gave. What can a 7 figure salary can’t fucking give you ! Nothing was never good enough. I should have understood the mind game she played but before I knew it I was hooked on the devil with no prenup and the idea of puppy love we had since high school. Every time it became too much, I would come see you dance. The way you move your body to the music is so enticing, I know it’s y’all job but you felt like it was your calling. I am not saying that you are nothing but a damm stripper, no please don’t take it like that. See that’s exactly why I did not want to talk to this (watch your mouth …) tarot reader because I am not good with my words. I hate the fact that I dedicate more time to STEM classes and work meetings. I dedicate more time to academic excellence and make sure to always more than admirable professional performance thinking I would never need to use art classes a day in my life. Here I am … Words failed me because I never took the time to appreciate the things surrendering me. Always so eager to gain new things and more knowledge. You were the first in my life, I truly allow myself to be appreciated. On the stage you own it, not like you are dancing for a couple dolla bills. Almost as if you don’t give a fuck weather men are there to spend or nah. You came to bask in your power. The first time you approached me, I could not help being rude. Now I can assure it is because I was mad, I knew you were approaching me to secure your bag. I wanted more, I wanted to matter to you as much as you matter to me. You left the first meeting with a stink face and you would have probably never dealt with me, if I never ordered that VIP room. Always came with more money each time. Taking more money from my wife's allowance to let it rain on you. It was my sweet revenge. Each time you never let go, like you use on stage. Guess you were not fond of me which confirms to me that it was not for the money. That also shows the amount of self respect you had for yourself in an industry that prides itself on destroying mental health in the name of a couple Benjamin. Then one day I ask you to sit down, apologize for the way I was treating you. Instead of making it rain, I put the money in your hands and ask you for a chat. Your face shows no judgment but instead mercy. You did not pride yourself on a broken man and I stop seeing you as only my distraction. The VIP with no dancing, bringing you back home after spending long hours at work, then finally following you at your apartment finishing the night with some intense love making. It was fun not being objectified for once in the bedroom. My wife likes to find pride in my beautiful big dick … I guess I only matter that way.

There's more ....

[wish-i-were-heather]

everyone is posting themselves getting asked to homecoming so what if i just died

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.