#“character gains weight to show they are happy with life”

[snailvibes]

Redid my Max design!!!! Also enjoy a lil timeline of her and her appearances!!

[tarotbydelilah444]

PAC • what is manifesting for you

pile one

angel numbers

111

888

444

777

222

what’s manifesting…

Abundance in all forms is coming your way. You have unexpected windfalls of money that is coming in. I intuitively heard, “Fuck Up Some Commas” by Future. This could be a tax return, refund check, settlement, inheritance, return on investments, or a loan being repaid. Whatever it is, you have definitely been waiting on this for a while. Make sure you spend it wisely!

Starting your influencer journey. You may start an influencer/lifestyle channel. Do it! You will receive so many followers and views.

Gaining happy weight. Your body is filling out and going in all the right places. You will definitely appreciate and love the appearance of your body. Realizing that you're "that girl".

Starting your own garden. Growing fruits, vegetables, and herbs.

Becoming a plant mom or spending more time in nature.

• Trying new products for your hair and skin and seeing amazing results.

The months of May and September are of significance. Autumn is also of significance.

• If you’ve been thinking about changing your appearance, go for it! This applies to you if you want to dye your hair, specifically red, or even straighten your hair for the first time. A silk press or perming your hair is of significance.

• Someone that you blocked or in a no-contact situation with could be lurking on your social media. You know exactly who this person is. They still have feelings for you, or they still in their feelings about you blocking or ignoring them.

MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY. Your confidence will be improving. “And to me, you are the star of the show still”. You are officially God’s favorite and the universe will be showering you with nothing, but blessings on top of blessings. Be open to receive and give thanks to the most high for these blessings. This is your time to shine and thrive because everyone is watching you, yes, even your HATERS. Everything about you is so magnetic and contagious right now, so be mindful of who you are letting in your space at this time because you definitely got some people trying to block your shine, trying to talk shit, and even sending you the evil eye to block your blessings, but know that you are protected and no harm shall touch you. 

Changing your eating habits. This could be dieting, fasting, or even being more mindful of what you are consuming. Working on that summer body!

• Learning new cooking recipes rather than eating out all the time. You could find new recipes on TikTok that you've been wanting to try out. Nara Smith could be of significance.

• If you are single, new love is coming in. This could be a soulmate connection, especially, if you've been trying to manifest in your soulmate. The wait is over and there is no need to look any further because this person is coming in sooner than you think. This person may be an Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, or Taurus, or could have these placements in their big three. They are very attractive, confident, friendly, creative, passionate, nurturing, and fun-loving. They could be younger than you or they could be a bit immature. Your advice is to allow yourself to be open to receiving this love and give this person a chance. Do not allow past experiences to rob you of this beautiful opportunity. "Love Like This," by Faith Evans is what I intuitively heard. For others, you got options, babyyy! You have so many people who are attracted to you and ready to shoot their shot and risk it all. "I'm here for a good time, not a long time" is your mantra. Right now, you are perfectly content with just exploring your options and having some fun. Take if it resonates, but some of you are discovering yourself, as it pertains to your sexuality, and others are becoming more comfortable in how you express your sensuality. Overall, you have good sex coming your way, so make sure you take precautions. I am sensing heavy fertility energy in your reading.

If you recently applied for an internship or scholarship, you will hear good news regarding this within the next few days or three to six months from now. Nursing could be of significance.

Receiving an invitation. This could be an invitation to a birthday party, baby shower, graduation, concert, trip, or some type of event/celebration. It will be fun and I see you enjoying yourself, if you decide to go. This definitely applies if you are an introvert, you are being encouraged to get out more and say “yes” to new opportunities and experiences that are heading your way. Time to get out of your comfort zone!

• Making birthday plans, especially, if you are a Pisces, Aries, Taurus, or Gemini.

• Tapping into your creative energy. If you have been thinking about starting a business or working on a new or old project, it’s time to START RIGHT NOW! I intuitively channeled that clip of Kim K, saying "Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Work". This may be a passion project or even you discovering a new hobby that has piqued your interest. Whatever it is, nurture it and watch out for how abundant and prosperous, it can become. It's time for you to share this idea, business, or project with the world because it will receive so much recognition, praise, and attention, especially if it's related to beauty or fashion.

keywords: glow up, Obsessed by Mariah Carey, abundance mindset, "patience, young grasshopper", Sum 2 Prove by Lil Baby, the world is yours, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper, "My vibe right now is just living life", How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Blessings by Big Sean ft Drake, All Eyez on Me by 2Pac, having my way, YOLO, Valentine's Day, Congratulations by Post Malone ft Quavo, new character development, going viral, five-star b*tch, All I Do is Win by DJ Khaled ft T-Pain, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, monitoring spirits, Cocky Af by Megan Thee Stallion, destiny swapping, Pretty Girl Rock by Keri Hilson, soft girl life, Work Bitch by Britney Spears, high maintenance, Get It Sexyy by Sexyy Red, losing your virginity, I Am Woman by Emmy Meli, Korean skincare, life feeling like a movie, pilates princess, Git Up, Git Our by OutKast, "baby, you summertime fine", gang-stalking, Look At Me Now by Chris Brown ft Busta Rhymes & Lil Wayne, brand deals, "young, hot, and turnt, TGFI by Glorilla, Shining by Dj Khaled ft Jay-Z & Beyonce, romantizing my life, Stay Schemin by Rick Ross ft Drake & French Montana, buying a rose vibrator, Excuse Me Miss by Jay-Z ft Pharrell, Brokey by Latto, “let me give her a new style, a new hair-do, a new cut, a new color”

affirmations to affirm

"I am intelligent"

"Life is beautiful"

"I am beautiful"

pile two

angel numbers

333 666 888 444 111

what's manifesting...

You may have gone through a rough time or felt like it's you against the world for some time. You've learned harsh, yet valuable lessons and managed to overcome each obstacle and challenge that has come your way. "Everything happens for a reason". The Universe is so proud of you and is ready to reward you for your resilience, bravery, patience, and perseverance during this time. Things will begin to make sense and finally shift in your favor very soon. The storm is finally over!

A solo trip. I channeled Paris, Mexico, or Italy. If it's not these specific places, it will definitely be somewhere overseas. You want to get away to clear your mind. I intuitively heard, "reset button".

Learning how to detach and move away from things that no longer serve you. You no longer want to entertain and engage in/with low-vibrational things, people, and situations that subtract from you rather than add to you. "It ain't nothing to cut that b*tch off" is what I channeled. LOL, you guys are truly over the bullshit and are choosing to protect your peace by removing yourself from unnecessary stress and drama. It hasn't been easy, but these changes are necessary, for new things to come towards you.

Wanting to change your number. "New number, who dis". You are being more selective of who you allow access to you. You could be de-cluttering your phone by deleting old numbers and texts.

A passed-on loved one watches over you and constantly sends you signs from Heaven. They actively try to communicate with you through synchronicities and send you messages in your dreams to get your attention. They act as a guardian angel, always guiding you and protecting you from harm, both physical and spiritual.

The months of February, May, and August are of significance.

A new job or job offer is coming in, especially, if you've been applying non-stop or waiting for a response about a position. Make sure to stay vigilant and check your emails, junk mail, and messages, and answer phone calls because they may come in unexpectedly. This can also apply if you applied for an internship.

Tapping more into spirituality and leaning more into your spiritual abilities. You will find it easier to trust your intuition as a guide as well as see and trust in the signs and synchronicities that the Divine sends to you to assist you on your journey, especially when you are feeling confused or lost. Lots of praying, meditating, connecting with the elements, practicing gratitude, shadow work, and visualization. You may even find it much easier to manifest.

Finding or changing your style or aesthetic. "A new era of me".

If you recently went no-contact or blocked communication with someone, this person has been thinking about you a lot. You and this person share a karmic connection. They may have Gemini, Aquarius, or Pisces placements in their big three. Further characteristics: hazel eyes, average height, Asian, brown or darker complexion.

If you struggle with any health issues, you will make a speedy recovery, as long as you remain consistent with your health regime. You are learning how to prioritize yourself rather than choosing to ignore them for a change, through radical self-care and mindfulness. Replacing bad habits with good habits. Taking responsibility for your health, no more victim mentality.

Working and improving your credit score. You are becoming more frugal or mindful of where you are spending your money. Learning how to budget and how to invest in stocks. Paying off your debts.

Becoming more organized and being able to accomplish and deal with things with ease. Moving with intention.

Setting boundaries and being comfortable with saying "no". You guys are finally putting yourself first, for the first time in a long time. You are no longer interested in being a "people pleaser" and are focusing on only pleasing and accepting yourself. I channeled, "Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved". Not playing "captain- save-a-hoe anymore". The solar plexus chakra is very strong in your messages.

Shifting your mindset and learning how to be mindful of what you are thinking. Learning how to observe your thoughts rather than attaching meaning to them. Gaining control over your mind and thoughts.

keywords: protecting my peace, law of attraction, the art of detachment, I Wish You Roses by Kali Uchis, DND mode, Joy & Pain by Maze ft Franke Beverely, "It's above me Now", The Pressure by Jhene Aiko, actions speak louder than words, Free by 6lack, entering my villain era, Access Denied by Lucky Daye ft Ari Lennox, divinely protected, Female Energy by Willow "it's in me, not on me", spring cleaning, Bounce Back by Big Sean, me vs me, "I am the master of my fate", self-improvement books, epiphanies & realizations, Level Up by Ciara, herbalism, "I got to put me first", Do Not Disturb by Drake, in my healing era, medicine woman, "I forgive, but I don't forget", Not My Problem by Laila!, the path of self-discovery, phoenix rising from the ashes, Ambience by Nia Sultana, finding your voice, After the Storm by Kali Uchis ft Tyler the Creator, out of sight, out of mind, M.I.A, year of the snake, "no mean no", enlightenment, expand your consciousness, Surrender by Jhene Aiko ft Dr. Chill, too much static, return to sender, Fuck the World (Summer in London) by Brent Faiyaz, being tested, Silent Hill by Kendrick Lamar ft Kodak Black, the five clairs, sink or swim, Spider-Man Superman by Drake ft PartyNextDoor, "come correct or don't come at all", fuck around and find out, mental clarity, thrift shopping, standards going up, G.O.M.D by J.Cole, None of Your Concern by Jhene Aiko ft Big Sean, 0 to 100 by Drake, "didn't tell I was a savage", I Don't Fuck With You by Big Sean ft E-40, rebirth, Prada Process Guapdad 4000 ft 6LACK

affirmations to affirm

"I have a beautiful life"

"I am in control of my destiny"

I know my value and I add tax"

pile three

Disclaimer: Tumblr has a limit on the amount of songs you can add, so the rest of the channeled songs will be typed out.

Never Be Yours - Kali Uchis Burning - Tems Lucky Girl - Carlina

angel numbers

555 222 888 1010 111 /1111

what's manifesting...

Receiving recognition or having a viral moment. I channeled "overnight success/sensation". You or something is finally receiving its flowers after a long time of going unnoticed.

Wanting or getting a piercing.

Adopting a new pet.

Reconnecting with your inner child by following your passions and childhood dreams. Enjoying activities that you enjoyed in your childhood.

Volunteering. You could be working with children.

If you are experiencing family issues, there will be some type of resolution or mediation. "Waiving the white flag" is what I heard. For others, you could spend more time with your grandparents, especially since they are getting older.

Experiencing shifts in your friendship circle. The snakes in the grass are revealing themselves. Using your intuition to help guide you on who needs to be removed. " Not everyone can come along with you on this next phase of your journey". Don't worry though because you are meeting new people that are in alignment with you and your path.

People from your past will be resurfacing. This could be old friends or an old love interest. However, I strongly sense that this is the energy of an old love interest. This person could be Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, or Cancer. This person is missing you real bad. They constantly replay the last encounter with you in their head like a broken record. They cannot get off their mind, no matter how much they've tried to, everything reminds them of you, especially if this a no-contact situation. I am intuitively hearing, "Missing You" by John Waite. This person looks at your photos a lot at night. They definitely relieve themselves to your photos and have flashbacks of the "intimate" moments that you two shared together. I received the "twin flame" card twice in the reading, so this is confirmation if were looking for a sign. This person wants to communicate with you and tell you how they truly feel about you. Apply if it resonates, but they are tired of running away from this connection and are realizing that they still love you or have fallen in love with you, and are hoping that you will grant them a second chance when the time is right. For some, they may even ask you out on a date. Further confirmations: Hispanic / Latino / Latina, curly or wavy textured hair, hazel eyes, and piercings.

Receiving calls or messages from unknown numbers.

If you are doubting if you are on the right path, 222 is confirmation that you are on the right path and that you are right where you are supposed to be.

Maturing. You are growing out of certain things that no longer resonate with you. Some of you may have experienced or are currently experiencing a spiritual awakening. Everything is shifting for your highest purpose, so don't panic or resist! You are no longer interested in repeating the same cycles.

The months of March, June, July, August, and October are of significance relating to your manifestations.

Good news about an interview or a deal. This can apply if you have aspirations of becoming a singer or pursuing a career in the creative field.

A new car. For some, this could be your first car, and for others, you could be passing your driver's test, getting your driver's license or your driving skills improving.

Going out on more dates. This could either be solo dates or allowing yourself to be wined and dined by others.

A mentor.

Enrolling in school to further your education or to earn a certification/license. If you are currently enrolled in school, your grades will improve and you will pass your courses. For others, yes, you will graduate, just stay focused and continue to study and work hard. This applies if you are studying for exams or a standardized test as well, you will get the results that you are seeking. An acceptance letter.

You will be more confident in sharing your talent with the world. You are beginning to believe in yourself and you are ready to share your talents with the world. You were meant to stand out and inspire others, you have so many people that look up or will look up to you as inspiration. "Allow me to reintroduce myself" is what I heard.

The ability to speak your manifestations into existence is becoming more powerful and potent. Remember that there is power in the tongue, so make sure, you are using it wisely. I also channeled that some of you are listening to subliminals to help you attract and manifest your "dream life", and receive your desired results.

keywords: What About Your Friends by TLC, having flashbacks, Can't Get Over You by Maze ft Frankie Beverly, true colors, "I want that old thing back", butterfly cycle, follow your dreams, "You complete me" (Jerry Maguire), close mouth don't get feed, Express Yourself by Charles Wright, Sparkle (movie), No Frauds by Nicki Minaj ft Drake & Lil Wayne, look how far you come (looking through old photos), Break My Soul by Beyonce, facing and overcoming your fears, Same Ol' Mistakes by Rihanna, the world is your oyster, Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z ft Alicia Keys, Lakshmi, it was all a dream, God's Plan by Drake, focus on the vision, Dedication by Nipsey Hussle, power of the mind, Glamorous by Fergie ft Ludacris, out with old, in with the new, 7 rings by Ariana Grande, the people's princess, New Level by A$AP Ferg, investing in yourself, honor roll, valedictorian, Roar by Katy Perry, runner & chaser dynamic, Live Your Life by T.I. ft Rihanna, trash taking itself out, Make Me Proud by Drake ft Nicki Minaj, "with great power comes with great responsibility", listening to subliminals, Motivation (Cardi B clip), "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade", Complicated by Nivea

affirmations to affirm

"I am proud of all my accomplishments"

"I am high frequency"

"I am standing in my power"

[sergle]

I love the little AU that skinny people live in where they have the same problems as fat people and can relate to the Experience. artists references are only for fat bodies, artists that do draw thin bodies are getting DMs from people going like "omg I'm so happy I discovered your art, it's so rare to find an artist who draws small bodies!!!!! for the first time I see people who look like me 😭😭" skinny people going "omggg I finally found a clothing brand that sells nice dresses in XS, I wish they weren't so so overpriced though" skinny people getting home from the doctor's office and collapsing on the couch to tell their roommate that their doc spent the whole appointment quizzing them about their diet and they were told they need to gain 40 pounds. but the doctor didn't want to check out the weird scraping sound they make when they breathe in, just that they should probably gain weight first. skinny celebrities and influencers spending thousands of dollars getting plastic surgery to transfer fat to their stomachs and jawlines. all the main characters in tv shows are fat. when you watch cartoons as a kid, there's one skinny character, and they're really dumb and annoying and get laughed at by the other characters. they're a loser and never get a boyfriend/girlfriend. the same clothes that are stylish when worn by fat people just get you made fun of. desirable romantic leads and manic pixie dream girls twirl their hair and say "yeeah I've just been fat my whole life, I just never lose weight no matter what I eat hehe" and this is an extremely endearing and attractive trait.

[unionizedwizard]

actually artoirel is one of the funniest and most tragic characters in heavensward like. man. imagine being the first trueborn son of one of the highest noble houses in a country where primogeniture is the word of law, having spent your entire life doing your damndest to fulfill your ordained role in life & gaining you father's approval, only to be the second-favorite son because your father likes his illegitimate son better than you—and you can't even truly blame him because yeah, your half-brother is just that lovable; having almost none of the privileges that your birth allowed you, he's still proud and happy and takes everything in stride; he's pretty much the embodiment of the chivalric ideal you both are meant to uphold; his men love and respect him because he's both a capable leader and a really good person; he is the ultimate faithful and virtuous knight and he's so good that he doesnt even begrudge you the place and privileges that he should be allowed, which makes you definitely ashamed of being jealous of him: he plainly likes and respects YOU!; he shows up one day begging your father for a huge favor (which he usually never does, as he doesn't like to use his connections for his own ends, thus lending a special weight to the request) i.e housing and protecting his "friend" of whom he speaks like they're the embodiment of hope and a new avatar of the Fury herself and YOUR FATHER ACTUALLY CONSENTS, much to your dismay, and THEN when said ""friend"" shows up (with their own retinue)—a complete stranger, a so-called "hero", more like a fraud in your opinion, but it's not like you were allowed to give your opinion in this matter anyway—you're half-secretly praying that they're just overrated and will fail but they actually are just that cool—dishonor upon dishonor: your father assigns them your own mission (the shame!!) and THEN you send them to what is most likely their own death in the field (cowardly and despicable move that should definitely strip you of your honor in the eyes of men and the gods both) but, against all odds, they actually survive AND succeed (and don't even blame you?? therefore proving their own moral superiority—JUST like your brother), so you have no choice but to actually agree with your brother here, and oh no you watch your father start actually loving them, and THEN your brother literally dies the single most heroic and righteous death a knight could ever wish for, and YOU, INSTEAD OF MECHANICALLY BECOMING THE NEW FAVORITE, even as you are named the new Count as your father steps down from the role—you realize with growing horror that you will never, ever be the first in his heart because now your dead brother has become a literal cult object, a genuine holy martyr, no less, and he tells the new similarly-virtuous-embodiment-of-chivalric-virtues illegitimate-born knight-leader that he sees your glorified dead brother in him in front of you and witnesses, including the stranger your brother died to protect, and it's only ever going to be that way. forever. and you always did what you were asked. and all you did was seeking to gain your father's approval by playing by the rules. ah well. luckily your younger brother is such a fuckup you can vent your frustrations on him and scorn him like the rest of the world does, at the very least,

[wimpywompythethird]

I can’t be the only one who feels iffy about Vivziepop’s approach to ‘representation.’ To me, it feels like they’re checking off boxes instead of actually putting effort into a character, especially when you look at how almost all the gay characters in the show are portrayed as feminine, overly sexualized, extremely skinny or a mix of all three. There’s nothing wrong with any of those traits and if they make you happy, that’s great. However, when every gay character fits that same mold, it stops being true representation. Instead, it starts to feel like a stereotype rather than diversity. Sure, there are gay people who embody these traits in real life, but when a series labels itself as a “queer show,” it should aim for a broader, more nuanced portrayal.

The show has already demonstrated its ability to create a range of body types with characters like Satan, Mammon and even some background characters. If the show can represent diverse body types why not extend that same diversity to the gay characters? I’ll give Fizzarolli a bit of a pass here, though. with his robotic body he literally can’t gain weight anywhere except his stomach.

Sidenote: here’s some background character designs I love

[dunmeshistash]

G'day, I hope you are doing well.

Ever since I finished the story of Dungeon Meshi (all supplementary material included) I've been writing down bullet points on characters in addition to in-depth synopses as a way to tidy up my rather busy mind. To this end I've also greatly enjoyed reading other folks' interpretations of particular characters, as it gives me further insight into aspects of that character I may have glossed over.

However, there's one character I'm struggling to write a cohesive synopsis about, that being none other than 'miss enigma' herself, Falin Touden. I get that her whole shtick is that she's kind of a mystery, but I find myself drawing a lot of blanks when it comes to her as a character, and while I have nailed down some important bullet points, there are a lot of different interpretations on her, all of which starkly contrast one another. Though perhaps it's just the wording. Hard to say.

It could very well be that I'm being too dense i.e. perceiving "Falin is willing to risk killing others to save her friends." and "Falin, in the heat of the moment, when faced with certain death, was willing to face the prospect of harming potential passersby in a final Hail Mary to get her friends to safety." as entirely different observations. I have a hard time with those kinds of things.

With this being a hub for all sorts of observations, interpretations and cool trivia, I was wondering if you'd perhaps be willing to share how you yourself perceive Falin as a character, so I can compare notes and perhaps gain a more proper understanding of her as a character as a result. I know this question is very broad and kind of vague, but if you could spare the time I'd be most grateful.

Other than that, I wish you an excellent day.

Hello!!! I love Falin!!!!!

She *is* a mystery, we mostly know Falin through the perception other characters have of her instead of a direct deep look onto who she is, which I find very interesting. I think the best post I've seen about her (which as usual I can't remember where edit: someone linked it thank uu) I think called her perceived altruism/love "selfish" and I've been thinking about that ever since.

In that sense the way she cares so much about the comfort of people around her might be a way to keep *her own* comfort because she doesn't want to see other people suffer.

This girly died and came back to life from bones and the first thoughts she has is that she caused trouble for her loved ones

She probably has felt this way since she was a child, "because of her" that her family was torn apart "because of her" that Laios left, her mom was sick, her father had to send her away. (wasn't actually her fault but she might think it is)

I imagine ever since then Falin has done her best to not cause trouble and to make the people she loves happy, everything we know about her and the things she was doing was always for the people she loved, that's why I enjoy the post canon comic where Toshiro asks her hand in marriage again so much. The first time she considers accepting just because "might as well" while for the second time she finally wants to live for herself.

I think Falin herself has lost who she "really is" by trying to accommodate everyone around her and that's probably part of why we ourselves don't really know her, so much so that the most cynical character is uncomfortable around her (probably cause he notices Falin is "hiding" something)

I think Falin is quite the melancholic character to be honest, someone who has lost herself in self sacrifice and who is only now learning how to live for herself doing what she wants.

Both the teleportation scene and the bit about healing show "cracks" in the selfless front she puts out tbh. By context I don't think what she did was only due to "desperation of the moment" she says out loud "Even if I end up hurting others I want you and my brother to live on". She weighted out how much suffering she might cause and decided she wanted to save them anyway, and I'm sure in that calculation she knew that they would suffer because of her sacrifice too.

Falin is saving them for herself, I'm not great with words so this is all over the place and maybe sounds a little negative about Falin but the thing is, you cannot live your life for other people, you can't sacrifice yourself for other people's happiness, you shouldn't erase your own presence so others are happier and I think Falin is starting to learn that by the end.

I'd probably keep rambling without getting anywhere and missing a lot of more meaningful moments but I'll stop here, if anyone has recs for Falin analysis please share!

[hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall]

Second Chance - Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve tried to get you back, but it's not always easy to gain back the trust one loses.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Warning: Angsts, like kind of a lot of it, injured character, but nobody dies. A bit of fluff with a happy ending.

Words: 9 224

AN: So, sweet anon asked about part two of Enough is Enough, and well, why the hell no :) I feel like shit (being sick isn't fun), so apologies x4 for any mistakes. My brain isn't braining...

Steve didn’t give up.

Steve’s first apology came in the form of flowers.

They arrived at the coffee shop just as you were opening. A delivery driver handed you the bouquet—a lush arrangement of white roses and baby’s breath, wrapped in soft tissue paper. For a moment, you just stared at them, the scent of fresh blossoms mingling with the familiar aroma of coffee beans. The card nestled within the bouquet bore only three words: I’m so sorry.

Your chest tightened. You didn’t have to wonder who sent them.

“Who’s the secret admirer?” your coworker teased, grinning as she wiped down the counter.

You didn’t answer. Instead, you set the bouquet aside, trying to push down the lump rising in your throat. It was a beautiful gesture—one you might have cherished once—but now it felt hollow.

The flowers kept coming. Every morning, a new arrangement would appear. Daisies, tulips, sunflowers. Each accompanied by a note in Steve’s handwriting: I miss you. I love you. Let me fix this.

You didn’t know how to feel. Part of you wanted to believe him, to give him the chance to make things right. But another part of you—the part still raw and aching—refused.

Then he started showing up.

The first time, you nearly dropped the coffee pot in your hand. He stood outside the shop, leaning against the lamppost with his hands tucked into his jacket pockets. He looked different—tired, almost haunted, as though the weight of your absence was something physical he carried with him.

You ignored him, focusing on your customers, but you could feel his presence like a shadow just beyond the glass. When you finally closed the shop, he was still there.

He said your name softly as you stepped outside, his voice barely above a whisper.

You didn’t stop walking.

“Please,” he called after you, his tone desperate. “Just give me a chance to talk.”

You turned back, your jaw clenched. “Why now, Steve? Why couldn’t you talk to me when it mattered?”

His face crumpled, and for a brief moment, you felt a pang of guilt. But you shook it off and kept walking.

It didn’t deter him. Steve came back the next day, and the day after that, always waiting silently as you worked. It wasn’t until a week later that you finally confronted him.

“What do you want from me, Steve?” you demanded, your voice sharper than you intended.

His blue eyes searched yours, filled with a vulnerability you hadn’t seen in months. “I want to make this right,” he said, his voice breaking. “I love you. I never stopped. And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”

You stared at him, your chest tightening with conflicting emotions. He looked so sincere, so heartbroken, that for a moment, you almost believed him. Almost.

“It’s too late,” you said finally, your voice barely audible. “You can’t fix this. I don’t trust you anymore.”

The pain in his eyes was like a physical blow, but you didn’t let it show. You turned and walked away, leaving him standing there, defeated.

But the truth was, you weren’t as strong as you seemed. Every step away from him felt like ripping a piece of yourself apart. By the time you got home, you were shaking, tears streaming down your face as you collapsed onto the couch.

You loved him. God, you still loved him. But love wasn’t enough anymore.

***

The days blurred together after that.

You went through the motions of your life—opening the coffee shop each morning, smiling at customers, making small talk with your coworkers—but it all felt mechanical, like a script you had memorized long ago. The warmth and joy that once fueled you were gone, replaced by an empty numbness you couldn’t seem to shake.

Nights were the worst.

Sleep eluded you, no matter how many hours you spent staring at the ceiling or tossing and turning under your blankets. The bed felt too big, too cold without him there. You hated yourself for missing him, for craving the comfort of his arms even after everything he’d done. But the longing wasn’t something you could control.

It wasn’t just the nights, though. Little things kept sneaking up on you, tearing at the fragile stitches holding you together.

The sight of his favorite mug on your kitchen counter. The book he’d borrowed but never finished, still sitting on your nightstand. The faint scent of his cologne that lingered on your favorite sweater, no matter how many times you washed it.

You tried to distract yourself, but nothing worked. Books, once your solace, couldn’t hold your attention. The words blurred together, and you’d find yourself reading the same sentence over and over without absorbing a single word.

Your friends noticed.

“You need to eat more,” one of them said during a group dinner you’d been forced to attend. She pushed a plate of pasta toward you, her brow furrowed with concern. “You look like you’ve lost weight.”

“I’m fine,” you lied, picking at the food with a fork.

Kat wasn’t buying it. She leaned across the table, her sharp blue eyes cutting through your defenses. “You’re not fine. And we’re not going to pretend otherwise.”

Her words hit harder than you expected, and you had to blink back the sting of tears.

Steve’s friends noticed too. Sam popped into the coffee shop one morning, leaning casually against the counter as you took his order.

“You’re not sleeping,” he said matter-of-factly, his tone laced with concern.

You forced a smile, trying to keep your voice light. “Busy days, you know how it is.”

He didn’t press you further, but the look he gave you lingered long after he left.

***

The worst was when Steve came back.

It was late in the evening, just before closing, when he walked into the shop. You froze behind the counter, your heart leaping into your throat at the sight of him.

He looked just as broken as you felt. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was mussed like he’d been running his hands through it in frustration. He lingered near the entrance, as if unsure whether he was welcome.

“Hi,” he said softly, his voice hesitant.

You gripped the edge of the counter, steadying yourself. “We’re about to close.”

“I know,” he said, his hands fidgeting nervously at his sides. “I just… I wanted to see you.”

You turned away, pretending to busy yourself with cleaning up. “You shouldn’t be here, Steve.”

“Please,” he said, stepping closer. “Just give me five minutes. That’s all I’m asking.”

You shook your head, your chest tightening painfully. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you,” he said, his voice breaking. “And because I can’t stand knowing I hurt you like this.”

His words cracked something inside you, but you couldn’t let him see it. “You need to leave,” you said firmly, refusing to meet his eyes.

For a moment, he hesitated, as if hoping you might change your mind. But when you didn’t, he nodded, his shoulders sagging with defeat.

“Okay,” he said quietly, his voice barely audible. “I’m sorry.”

You watched him go, the sound of the door closing behind him echoing in the empty shop. And then you broke.

You sank to the floor, tears streaming down your face as the weight of your grief crushed you.

You loved him. God, you still loved him.

But you didn’t know how to let yourself forgive him.

***

You didn’t expect to find Bucky Barnes on your doorstep.

It was a gray Saturday morning, and the porch floor creaked under your weight as you aimlessly swept away fallen leaves. When you opened the door and saw him standing there, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets and his blue-gray eyes watching you carefully, you froze.

“Bucky?”

“Hey,” he said, his tone casual, though his expression betrayed a flicker of hesitation. “Mind if I come in?”

You hesitated. This was Steve’s best friend. Seeing him felt like reopening wounds that you’d been trying desperately to let heal. But there was no judgment in his gaze, no pressure—just concern. So, with a heavy sigh, you stepped aside and gestured for him to enter.

He stepped into the living room, glancing around like he was cataloging the space. You folded your arms, standing stiffly near the doorway. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, doll,” he teased, his lips quirking into a faint smirk.

“Bucky,” you said, your voice sharper now. “Why are you here?”

He sighed, the smirk fading. “I wanted to check on you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you said quickly. “I’m not with Steve anymore. There’s no obligation.”

He raised an eyebrow, his head tilting slightly as he leaned against the back of your couch. “Obligation? That’s not why I’m here, sweetheart. You’re my friend too. And whether or not you’re with Steve doesn’t change that.”

The softness in his tone made something crack inside you. You wanted to argue, to brush him off, but instead, you felt your defenses falter.

“Besides,” he continued with a wry grin, “someone’s gotta make sure you know not all men are idiots. Steve might be an amazing guy, but even amazing guys screw up sometimes.”

That last sentence hit you like a slap. You felt the tears coming before you could stop them, your vision blurring as all the emotions you’d been bottling up threatened to spill over. You turned away, trying to pull yourself together, but Bucky wasn’t having it.

“Hey,” he said gently, stepping closer. “Talk to me.”

That was all it took for the dam to break.

“I don’t know how to stop loving him,” you blurted, your voice trembling as the words spilled out in a rush.

Bucky froze, his expression softening as he watched the tears stream down your face. You sank onto the couch, your shoulders shaking, and he followed, sitting beside you without a word.

“I hate him for what he did,” you continued, your voice cracking. “I hate that he made me feel like I didn’t matter, like I was just… there. And now? Now he’s trying to fix it, like I’m supposed to just forget everything and let him back in.”

Bucky listened silently, his hands clasped together as you poured your heart out.

“It feels like a slap in the face,” you said, your chest heaving with each breath. “Like he thinks flowers and apologies will erase months of feeling invisible. I hate him for that. But more than anything, I hate that I still love him.”

You buried your face in your hands, your voice muffled as you added, “I don’t want to love him anymore. I want it to stop, Bucky. I want it all to stop.”

The room was quiet for a long moment. Then, Bucky sighed, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees.

“Doll,” he said softly, “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but loving him isn’t something to hate yourself for. Steve… he’s a complicated guy. He doesn’t always get things right, but I promise you, he loves you. More than you know.”

You shook your head, your voice shaking. “If he loved me so much, why did he treat me like that? Why did he make me feel like I didn’t matter?”

Bucky ran a hand through his hair, his jaw tightening. “You’re right. He screwed up. Big time. But… he’s been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders for years. It doesn’t excuse how he hurt you, but I’ve seen him lately, and he’s a wreck without you.”

Your eyes flicked up to meet his, your tears blurring the intensity in his gaze.

“He’s not good at showing it,” Bucky continued, “but he’s an amazing guy. I’ve known him my whole life, and I’ve seen him at his best and his worst. And I know he’ll never stop trying to make this right. The question is… would you ever let him? What would it take for you to let him back in?”

The weight of his words settled over you, heavy and unrelenting. You didn’t answer right away, your fingers gripping the hem of your shirt as you stared down at the floor.

“I don’t know,” you whispered finally. “I don’t know if I can. It’s like… every time I see him, I remember how much it hurt. And even if I wanted to try again, I don’t know if I’d ever trust him not to hurt me like that again.”

Bucky reached out, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder. “You don’t have to decide anything right now,” he said gently. “But whatever you choose, just know this: you deserve to be happy, sweetheart. Whether that’s with Steve or without him.”

You looked at him, searching his face for any trace of pity or judgment, but there was none. Just quiet understanding and unwavering support.

When he finally stood to leave, he gave you a small smile. “You’re stronger than you think,” he said, his voice steady. “And no matter what happens, I’m here. Steve or no Steve.”

You watched him go, his words echoing in your mind long after the door closed.

And for the first time in weeks, you allowed yourself to wonder if maybe—just maybe—you could find a way forward.

***

The compound gym was almost empty, save for the quiet hum of machinery and the dull thud of fists meeting a punching bag. Steve Rogers stood at the far end of the room, his knuckles raw and his breathing ragged. He’d been at it for hours, his frustration and grief pouring into every swing, every strike. The bag swayed violently under the force of his hits, the chain creaking with each impact.

“You keep that up, and you’ll be patching the damn thing again,” Bucky’s voice rang out, casual and dry as ever, though the concern in it was unmistakable.

Steve paused mid-swing, the tension in his shoulders easing only slightly as he turned to see his best friend leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. Bucky’s expression was unreadable, but his eyes betrayed a softness Steve wasn’t sure he deserved.

“What are you doing here?” Steve asked, his voice hoarse from hours of exertion.

“Figured I’d find you here,” Bucky replied, stepping into the gym. “Thought maybe you’d stop using that bag like it owes you money and actually talk to me.”

Steve sighed, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. “Not in the mood, Buck.”

“Well, tough,” Bucky shot back, grabbing a folding chair and dragging it noisily across the floor. He plopped it down unceremoniously a few feet away from Steve, crossing one ankle over his knee. “Because I just came from seeing her.”

The color drained from Steve’s face. He froze, his fists still clenched at his sides. “You… you saw her?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said evenly, watching his friend’s reaction carefully. “She didn’t slam the door in my face, so I’d say I’m doing better than you.”

Steve flinched, the weight of Bucky’s words hitting him like a punch to the gut. He turned away, his hands gripping the edges of the punching bag as he tried to steady himself. “How… how is she?”

Bucky hesitated. He’d seen the raw pain in your eyes, the tears you tried to hide, and he knew Steve wasn’t ready for the truth. But lying wouldn’t help either.

“She’s a mess, Steve,” Bucky said softly. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Steve let out a shaky breath, his head hanging low. “I did this to her,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I pushed her away, made her feel like she wasn’t enough. And now… now I don’t know how to fix it.”

Bucky stood, closing the distance between them. “Steve, look at me.”

Reluctantly, Steve turned, his eyes red and tired.

“She still loves you,” Bucky said firmly, his voice steady. “But she’s hurt, and she’s angry. And you can’t expect her to just forget all that because you’re showing up with flowers and apologies.”

“I know that,” Steve snapped, his voice breaking. “God, Buck, I know. But what else can I do? Every time I see her, it’s like she’s slipping further away, and I don’t know how to reach her anymore.”

Bucky’s gaze softened, and he placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “You start by understanding that this isn’t about fixing things overnight. It’s about showing her that you’re willing to put in the work, no matter how long it takes. That you’re not just sorry—you’re ready to be better.”

Steve nodded, though the despair in his eyes didn’t fade. “She said she doesn’t trust me anymore.”

“Then earn it back,” Bucky said simply. “Show her that you’re not the same guy who hurt her. And for God’s sake, stop treating this like a battle you can win with brute force. You’re not fighting Hydra here, Steve. You’re fighting for her.”

Steve’s shoulders sagged, his head dropping into his hands. “I don’t even know if she wants me to try.”

Bucky crouched slightly, meeting Steve’s gaze head-on. “I asked her,” he said quietly.

Steve’s head shot up, his blue eyes wide. “What? What did she say?”

“She doesn’t know,” Bucky admitted. “She’s scared, Steve. Scared that if she lets you back in, you’ll hurt her again. And honestly? I don’t blame her.”

The words hit Steve like a blow, but he didn’t argue. He knew Bucky was right.

“She told me something else too,” Bucky continued, his voice softer now. “She said she doesn’t know how to stop loving you. And it’s killing her.”

Steve’s breath caught, his chest tightening painfully. “She… she said that?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. She loves you, Steve. But love isn’t enough—not after what you put her through. You have to show her that you’re not just saying the right things. You have to be the right man for her. The man she fell in love with.”

Steve closed his eyes, his mind racing with memories of you—the way you used to laugh, the way you’d look at him like he was your whole world. He’d taken that for granted, and now he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get it back.

“What if I can’t?” he whispered, his voice breaking. “What if I’ve already lost her?”

Bucky’s grip on his shoulder tightened. “You don’t get to give up, punk. Not on her, and not on yourself. You want her back? Then fight for her. And don’t stop until you’ve shown her that she’s worth everything.”

Steve swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. “How? How do I even start?”

Bucky gave him a small, knowing smile. “Start by listening. By showing up—not just for her, but for the life she wants. Show her that she’s not a convenience, Steve. She’s the center of it all.”

Steve nodded slowly, the weight of Bucky’s words sinking in. He didn’t know if it would be enough, but he knew one thing for certain: he couldn’t give up on you. Not now. Not ever.

“Thanks, Buck,” Steve said quietly, his voice rough but sincere.

Bucky grinned, clapping him on the back. “Don’t thank me yet. You’ve got a hell of a road ahead of you.”

Steve nodded, determination flickering in his tired eyes. He didn’t know how long it would take or if he’d even succeed, but for you, he’d move mountains.

Because losing you wasn’t an option. And he’d spend the rest of his life proving it if that’s what it took.

***

Steve left the gym after his conversation with Bucky feeling drained but determined. His best friend’s words weighed on him, both a reminder of the man he wanted to be and the man he hadn’t been for you. He knew Bucky was right—this wasn’t a fight he could win with brute force or a quick apology. It would take time, patience, and a quiet kind of devotion that he’d never had to show before.

He didn’t expect you to forgive him overnight. He didn’t even expect you to notice what he was doing right away. But he had to start somewhere.

***

It was early morning when Steve pushed open the door to your coffee shop.

The familiar bell jingled above him, the sound stirring memories of quieter, happier times. You were behind the counter, moving with practiced ease as you worked the espresso machine. You didn’t see him at first, but when you turned, your eyes locked, and Steve felt the air shift.

“Morning,” he said, his voice soft, careful not to disrupt the fragile peace of the moment.

You blinked, your expression guarded. “Morning.”

“I’m here for coffee,” he said, stepping forward. “For the team.”

Your brow furrowed, skeptical. “The team sent you?”

He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Not exactly. Thought I’d take my turn.”

You didn’t reply, but you turned back to the espresso machine, the hum of it filling the silence. Steve watched you work, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets, and for a moment, he was struck by how natural this scene felt, even with the tension between you.

When you handed him the tray of drinks, your fingers brushed his briefly, and he saw the faintest flicker of something in your eyes—surprise, maybe, or something softer.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice warm but careful.

You didn’t answer, but you nodded, and he left without lingering, the bell jingling softly as the door swung shut behind him.

*

The next time he came, it was quieter. Midmorning, after the breakfast rush had died down, Steve appeared with a small brown paper bag in hand.

You were cleaning the counter, lost in thought, when his voice broke through the silence.

“You forget to eat when you’re busy,” he said simply, placing the bag on the counter.

You looked up, startled. “Steve…”

“It’s just breakfast,” he said, holding up a hand to forestall your protests. “Nothing more. Just thought you might need it.”

You hesitated, the words you wanted to say caught somewhere in your throat. Slowly, you opened the bag, the warm scent of eggs and bacon wafting up to meet you.

“From that diner you like,” he added, his lips curving into a faint smile. “Figured it was better than you skipping meals.”

You stared at the bag for a long moment before meeting his eyes. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know,” he said simply. “But I wanted to.”

He didn’t stay long, didn’t push for conversation. He just gave you a small nod and left, leaving you with breakfast and a strange, lingering warmth in your chest.

*

Natasha was relentless when it came to her movie nights, and somehow, you found yourself at the Tower despite your protests. The room was cozy, filled with the low murmur of conversation and the scent of popcorn. You settled into one corner of the couch, trying to ignore the way Steve’s presence tugged at the edges of your awareness.

When the opening credits began to roll, Steve appeared beside you, holding something in his hands.

“Here,” he said quietly, offering you a pair of thick woolen socks.

You frowned, confused. “What’s this?”

“Your feet get cold,” he said simply, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

You stared at him, your chest tightening, before reluctantly taking the socks. “Thanks,” you muttered, slipping them on.

He didn’t linger, didn’t push for more. But later, when the movie reached its tense climax, he handed you a steaming mug of hot chocolate—rich, creamy, with just the right amount of cinnamon.

“You don’t have to—” you started, but he cut you off with a small, knowing smile.

“You love hot chocolate after horror movies,” he said, his tone soft. “Figured you might want some.”

You took the mug, the warmth seeping into your hands, and for the first time that night, you let yourself relax.

*

The envelope was waiting for you in your mailbox, unassuming but carefully placed. Inside was a single ticket to the sold-out Broadway show you’d mentioned to Sam weeks ago.

The note tucked inside was brief, written in Steve’s familiar handwriting: Thought you’d like this. Hope it’s as good as you imagined.

You stared at the ticket for a long time, your heart aching with a mixture of gratitude and frustration. He remembered. Of course, he remembered.

You told yourself it didn’t matter, that it was just a kind gesture, but deep down, it chipped away at the walls you’d built around your heart.

*

The night your car broke down was cold and quiet, the kind of night that made the world feel vast and lonely. You sat in the driver’s seat, staring at the lifeless dashboard, your breath fogging up the glass as you fought the urge to cry.

You tried calling a few friends, but no one answered. Finally, with trembling fingers, you dialed the one number you swore you wouldn’t.

“Sweetheart?” Steve’s voice came through the line, steady and concerned.

“My car won’t start,” you said softly, ignoring the pet name, hating how small your voice sounded.

“Where are you?”

You told him, and he didn’t hesitate. “Stay there. I’m on my way.”

When his truck pulled up beside you, he climbed out without a word, his breath misting in the cold air as he checked under your hood. His movements were sure and efficient, his presence steadying.

“Alternator’s shot,” he said finally, closing the hood. “I’ll take you home.”

You hesitated, your pride warring with your gratitude, but the freezing air made the decision for you.

The drive was quiet, the heater humming softly as Steve navigated the empty streets. He didn’t pry, didn’t try to fill the silence with unnecessary words. He just… drove.

When you woke up the next morning, your car was back in its usual spot. The engine purred like new when you started it, and a small note was taped to the dashboard: Shouldn’t give you trouble anymore. Call me if it does.

*

Each gesture was small, unassuming. Steve never pushed, never demanded more than you were willing to give. He just… showed up, quietly and consistently, letting his actions speak louder than words ever could.

And slowly, despite yourself, you began to notice.

***

Three months had passed since the breakup.

You wouldn’t say things had gone back to normal—far from it—but something had undeniably shifted between you and Steve. His quiet persistence, the way he showed up without pushing or demanding anything from you, had started to chip away at the walls you’d built around your heart.

At first, your conversations were stiff and polite, nothing more than a few sentences exchanged when he stopped by the coffee shop or brought you breakfast. But as the weeks went by, those moments grew longer, softer. He’d ask about your day, about the books you were reading, or the things you enjoyed, and you found yourself answering more openly. It wasn’t quite like before, but it was closer to the first moments of your relationship, back when everything had been new and uncomplicated.

Still, there was a voice in the back of your mind that wouldn’t let you forget. A quiet, insistent whisper that reminded you of how he’d hurt you, how he’d pushed you aside and made you feel invisible.

That voice grew louder the day he asked you to talk.

***

It was late afternoon, the golden light of the setting sun filtering through the windows of the coffee shop as you wiped down the counter. The shop was quiet, the usual morning and lunch rushes long gone, leaving you with only the hum of the espresso machine and the soft clatter of dishes.

The sound of the bell above the door caught your attention, and when you looked up, Steve was there.

He’d been coming in more often lately, not just to pick up coffee for the team but to see you, to talk to you. This time, though, something about the way he stood—his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his shoulders slightly hunched—told you this wasn’t just a casual visit.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice careful as he approached the counter.

“Hey,” you replied, setting the towel aside.

“Do you have a minute?” he asked, glancing around at the empty shop. “I mean… can we talk?”

You hesitated, your stomach twisting. The vulnerability in his expression was disarming, but that voice in the back of your mind warned you to tread carefully. Still, you nodded, gesturing toward one of the empty tables.

Steve followed you, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from you. For a moment, he said nothing, his hands clasped tightly on the table as he stared down at them. You waited, your heart thudding quietly in your chest as the silence stretched between you.

Finally, he took a deep breath and looked up, his blue eyes meeting yours.

“I’ve been thinking about this for weeks,” he began, his voice low but steady. “About what I should say. How I should say it. And the truth is… there’s no easy way to do this. So I’m just going to be honest.”

You nodded, your throat tightening as you braced yourself for whatever was coming.

“I screwed up,” he said, the words heavy with regret. “I let you down in a way I never should have. And I���ve been trying to figure out why—why I acted the way I did, why I pushed you away when you were the best thing in my life.”

His hands tightened into fists, his knuckles whitening as he struggled to find the right words. “I think… I think I was scared. Scared of not being enough for you, scared of dragging you into everything that comes with being me. The missions, the stress, the weight of it all—I didn’t want to burden you with that.”

Your brow furrowed, confusion and frustration bubbling to the surface. “So you decided to ignore me instead? To shut me out?”

“I know,” he said quickly, his voice breaking slightly. “I know it doesn’t make sense. It was selfish and stupid, and I wasn’t thinking about how it would make you feel. I just… I thought if I kept it to myself, if I didn’t tell you about everything that was going on, I could protect you from it. But all I did was hurt you.”

His eyes glistened, and he looked away, swallowing hard. “I’ll never forgive myself for that. For making you feel like you weren’t enough when you were everything to me.”

The raw emotion in his voice made your chest ache, but the wounds he’d left were still fresh, still tender.

“Steve…” you began, your voice trembling, “you hurt me more than anyone ever has. Do you know that?”

He flinched, his jaw tightening, but he nodded.

“I spent weeks wondering what I did wrong,” you continued, your words spilling out in a rush. “I kept asking myself why I wasn’t good enough for you, why I wasn’t worth your time or your attention. And then, when you finally started trying again, it felt like a slap in the face. Like you thought a few kind gestures could erase everything you put me through.”

Tears welled in your eyes, and you fought to keep your voice steady. “I wanted so badly to be enough for you, Steve. That’s all I ever wanted. Just to be enough.”

“You were,” he said quickly, his voice cracking. “You are. God, you’re more than enough. I was the one who wasn’t. I didn’t know how to handle it—how to be the man you deserved—and I let that fear control me. But I swear to you, I see it now. I see what I lost because of it.”

He leaned forward, his hands gripping the edge of the table. “I know I don’t deserve another chance. I know I might have ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. But if there’s anything—anything—I can do to change your mind, tell me. I’ll do it. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can be better, that I can be the man you need me to be.”

His voice dropped, barely more than a whisper. “I just need to know if there’s any part of you that still believes in us.”

You stared at him, your heart pounding as the weight of his words settled over you. The pain, the anger, the love—all of it swirled together in a storm of emotion that left you speechless.

Finally, you let out a shaky breath, your voice trembling as you said, “I don’t know, Steve. I don’t know if I can trust you again. I don’t know if I can forget how much it hurt.”

His face crumpled, but he nodded, accepting your words without argument.

“But…” you continued, your voice softer now, “I can’t pretend I don’t still feel something for you. I can’t pretend I don’t still love you.”

His eyes widened, hope flickering in their depths.

“That doesn’t mean we can go back to how things were,” you said quickly, your tone firm. “If we’re going to try… if we’re going to even think about trying, it has to be different. You have to be honest with me, Steve. About everything.”

“I will,” he said immediately, his voice thick with emotion. “I swear, I will.”

You nodded, your throat tight with the weight of what you’d just said. It wasn’t forgiveness—not yet—but it was something. A small step toward rebuilding what had been broken.

And as Steve reached out, his hand brushing against yours, you let yourself hope—for the first time in months—that maybe, just maybe, it was a step worth taking.

***

It had been a week since the conversation with Steve, and your emotions were in turmoil. You felt caught between the raw pain of the past and the cautious hope of what could be. His words haunted you—his apologies, his promises, the way his voice had cracked when he told you how much he still cared.

You needed clarity, and there was only one person who could give you the no-nonsense advice you desperately needed: Natasha.

She arrived at your place that evening, a takeout bag in hand, and didn’t waste a second settling herself at your kitchen table. Her sharp green eyes studied you as you sat down across from her, picking at the noodles she’d brought for you.

“All right,” she said, breaking the silence. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Steve,” you admitted, your voice soft.

Natasha leaned back in her chair, her expression unreadable. “What about him?”

You hesitated, your fingers fidgeting with the edge of the table. “We talked. Really talked. He told me everything—why he shut me out, how he felt, all of it. He apologized for everything and… I believe him, Nat. I really do.”

“But?” she prompted, raising an eyebrow.

“But I don’t know if I can trust him again,” you confessed, your throat tightening. “I don’t know if I can let myself go through that again. He hurt me so much, Nat. How do I just move past that?”

Natasha studied you for a moment, her gaze piercing. “Let me ask you something,” she said finally. “If you didn’t still love him, if you didn’t still want something with him deep down, would we even be having this conversation right now?”

You frowned, her words hitting you hard. “What do you mean?”

“It’s been three months,” she said, her tone gentle but firm. “If you were done with him, if you really didn’t care anymore, you’d have moved on by now. You wouldn’t still be here, agonizing over whether to give him another chance.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but no words came. She wasn’t wrong, and deep down, you knew it.

“I’m not saying you have to forgive him tomorrow or even next week,” Natasha continued, leaning forward. “But if there’s still a part of you that wants to believe in him, don’t ignore that. You owe it to yourself to figure out what you really want. Not what you’re afraid of, not what you think you should do. What you want.”

Her words lingered long after she left, a quiet truth that refused to be ignored.

***

At the same time, Steve was grappling with his own uncertainty.

He sat in the Tower’s lounge, his hands wrapped around a mug of coffee as he stared out the window. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about your conversation, about the raw pain in your voice when you told him how much he’d hurt you.

“Hey,” Sam’s voice broke through his thoughts, and Steve turned to see both Sam and Bucky entering the room. They exchanged a look before sitting down on either side of him.

“You’ve been brooding,” Sam said bluntly. “What’s going on?”

Steve sighed, setting his mug down on the coffee table. “It’s her,” he admitted.

“Figured,” Bucky said, leaning back in his chair. “What happened?”

“I talked to her,” Steve said. “Told her everything—how I felt, why I shut her out. I apologized for all of it.”

“And?” Sam prompted.

“She said she doesn’t know if she can trust me again,” Steve said quietly, his voice heavy with regret. “But she also said she still loves me. I don’t know what to do with that, Sam. I don’t know how to make it right.”

Sam leaned forward, his expression serious. “Look, man, love isn’t always enough. Not when there’s hurt involved. If she doesn’t trust you right now, that’s on you to fix. You can’t just expect her to forgive and forget because you feel bad about it.”

“I know that,” Steve said quickly, his jaw tightening. “That’s why I’m here. I don’t want to mess this up again. I need to figure out how to show her that I’m serious without overwhelming her.”

Bucky gave him a long, measured look. “You’ve been trying,” he said finally. “We’ve all seen it—the little things you’ve been doing. But if you’re asking me, you’re not going to fix this by tiptoeing around her. You’ve got to be honest, Rogers. If you want her back, you need to let her see all of you. The good, the bad, and the stuff you think she won’t want to deal with.”

Steve frowned, his gaze dropping to the floor. “What if she doesn’t want to deal with it?”

“Then she doesn’t,” Bucky said simply. “But if you hold back, you’re not giving her the chance to decide for herself. And that’s not fair to either of you.”

Sam nodded in agreement. “You’ve got to let her see that you’re not just saying the right things, Steve. You’ve got to show her. But don’t make it about fixing things fast. Healing takes time, for both of you.”

Steve exhaled slowly, the weight of their words settling over him. “Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank us yet,” Sam said with a grin. “You’ve got a long road ahead of you, Cap.”

***

Steve spent the next few days thinking about their advice. He’d been so focused on not pushing you, on giving you space, that he hadn’t realized he might be holding back too much.

When he saw you next, it was at the coffee shop, just as you were closing up for the day. He hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, his heart pounding.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice breaking the quiet.

You looked up, surprise flickering across your face. “Hey.”

“Do you have a minute?” he asked.

You nodded slowly, setting down the rag you’d been using to clean the counter. “Sure.”

He gestured toward one of the empty tables, and you followed him, sitting down across from him. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence stretching between you like a fragile thread.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” Steve began, his voice steady but low. “About how much I hurt you, how I made you feel like you weren’t enough. And you were right. I let you down in ways I’ll never forgive myself for.”

Your throat tightened, but you stayed silent, letting him continue.

“I’ve spent so much time trying to fix things in small ways, trying to show you that I’m serious,” he said. “But I don’t think I’ve been honest enough with you. I don’t think I’ve let you see how much this has been tearing me apart.”

His hands tightened into fists on the table, his knuckles white. “I don’t want to overwhelm you or push you, but I can’t hold this back anymore. I love you. I’ve always loved you. And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I can be the man you deserve.”

His voice cracked, and for the first time, you saw tears in his eyes. “If there’s anything—anything—I can do to earn your trust again, tell me. Because losing you would be the biggest mistake of my life.”

Your own eyes burned with tears, the raw honesty in his words cutting through the walls you’d built around your heart. For the first time, you saw not just the man who’d hurt you but the man who was willing to fight for you, flaws and all.

You didn’t have an answer for him—not yet. But as you reached across the table and took his hand, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you were ready to start finding one.

***

You were closing up the coffee shop when your phone buzzed. The message was from Natasha. That alone was unusual—Nat rarely texted without reason. You pulled your phone out, unlocking it with a swipe of your thumb.

The words on the screen made your blood run cold: We’ve lost contact with Steve and Bucky.

Your breath caught, and the phone nearly slipped from your trembling hands. For a moment, everything around you blurred—the soft hum of the espresso machine, the faint chatter of pedestrians outside, the smell of coffee beans—all of it faded into the background.

You didn’t think, didn’t even register dropping the rag you’d been using to clean the counter. Your hands shook as you locked the doors, fumbling with the keys before rushing to your car.

The drive to the Tower was a haze, your chest tight with panic as Natasha’s words repeated in your mind. You knew Steve went on dangerous missions. It was part of who he was. But something about those words—lost contact—made this time feel different.

***

By the time you arrived at the Tower, your heart was pounding so hard you thought it might break through your ribcage. The elevator ride felt like an eternity, each floor passing with agonizing slowness. When the doors finally slid open, you practically ran into the common room, where Natasha and Sam were already waiting.

“What happened?” you demanded, your voice sharper than you intended.

Natasha turned toward you, her expression calm but her eyes betraying her concern. “They were on a mission. Everything was going according to plan, but then we lost contact about three hours ago. We’ve been trying to re-establish communication, but there’s been no response.”

Three hours. That might as well have been three days.

“What do you mean ‘lost contact’?” you pressed, your voice rising. “How does that even happen?”

“It could be anything,” Sam said, his tone soothing but cautious. “Jammed signals, a misstep in the mission. We don’t know yet.”

You stared at them, your breathing shallow, your mind racing with every worst-case scenario imaginable. “So they could be…”

“They’re not,” Natasha said firmly, cutting you off. Her voice was sharp, but there was a softness in her gaze. “Steve and Bucky have been in worse situations than this. They’ll find a way to get back to us.”

Sam nodded in agreement, but you could see the tension in his shoulders. “They’re two of the toughest guys I know,” he said. “If anyone can make it out of this, it’s them.”

You wanted to believe them, but the fear in your chest refused to let go. You sank into one of the chairs, your hands gripping the armrests so tightly that your knuckles turned white.

The minutes dragged by like hours, the silence in the room heavy and oppressive. Natasha and Sam tried to make conversation, to keep you distracted, but you barely registered their words. Your mind was too consumed by the thought of what could happen—of what might have already happened.

***

When Natasha’s phone finally buzzed, the sound cut through the quiet like a gunshot. She snatched it up, her sharp gaze scanning the screen. Relief flickered across her face as she read aloud:

“It’s from Steve. They’re on their way back, but a medic is necessary.”

Your heart seized, a mixture of relief and panic coursing through you. “Who’s hurt?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“He didn’t say,” Natasha replied, her lips pressing into a thin line.

You tried to steady your breathing, but the knot in your chest refused to loosen. You told yourself it didn’t matter who was hurt—they were alive, and they were coming back. But the not knowing gnawed at you, the fear for Steve settling deep in your bones.

No one told Steve you were here, and maybe that was for the best. But as you sat there, waiting for the jet to arrive, you realized just how fragile everything felt. The past few months flashed through your mind—all the moments of doubt, the anger, the hesitation—and for the first time, they seemed so small. In the grand scheme of things, you could have lost Steve today. That thought terrified you more than anything else.

***

The sound of the jet’s engines rumbling low overhead pulled you out of your thoughts. You stood with Natasha and Sam, your heart pounding as the aircraft touched down on the Tower’s private landing pad.

The ramp lowered slowly, and the first thing you saw was Steve, his arm slung around Bucky to help him walk. Bucky looked pale, his arm hanging limp at his side, his face tight with pain. Medics rushed forward to meet him, but your eyes were locked on Steve.

He didn’t look much better than Bucky. His shirt was torn, streaked with dirt and blood, and his face bore a fresh collection of cuts and bruises. His shoulders sagged under the weight of exhaustion, his steps slow and measured.

But when his eyes found yours, he smiled.

Even battered and bloodied, he’d never looked more handsome. His beard, grown in over the time he’d been away, gave him a rugged edge, and his blue eyes still held that quiet strength you’d always admired.

The moment your gaze met his, something in you broke. You ran to him, barely aware of your surroundings, and threw your arms around him.

“Steve,” you sobbed, burying your face in his chest. His shirt was rough against your skin, damp with sweat and blood, but you didn’t care. “I was so scared. I thought… I thought I might lose you.”

His arms wrapped around you tightly, his grip strong despite his obvious exhaustion. “I’m okay,” he murmured, his voice soft but steady. “I’m here.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, tears streaming down your face. “You have to be more careful,” you said, your voice trembling. “You can’t… you can’t do this to me, Steve.”

His expression softened, and he reached up to brush a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What happened?” you asked, your voice cracking. “What went wrong?”

To your surprise, Steve didn’t hesitate. He guided you to a quieter corner, his hand resting lightly on your back, and began to explain.

“The mission was supposed to be straightforward,” he said, his voice low but steady. “But things went sideways fast. There were more hostiles than we anticipated, and Bucky got hit—bad. I couldn’t leave him behind, so I…” He trailed off, his jaw tightening.

“You carried him out,” you finished, your throat tightening.

Steve nodded, his eyes meeting yours. “I wasn’t going to leave him, no matter what.”

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time, they weren’t just from fear. They were from the overwhelming realization of who Steve truly was—the man who would sacrifice everything for the people he cared about.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice softer now. “I won’t make that mistake again. And if you’re willing to listen, I’ll tell you everything—about the missions, about what’s going on with me. No more shutting you out.”

You stared at him, your chest tight with a mixture of love and fear and hope. Slowly, you nodded. “I’m listening,” you said.

And as he began to speak, you felt the cracks in your heart begin to mend, one word at a time.

***

Steve stayed with you after the medics whisked Bucky away to the infirmary. He’d insisted Bucky was in good hands, though you could see the guilt still lingering in his eyes. You sat together in one of the quieter rooms in the Tower, the tension from the mission still clinging to him like a second skin.

Despite his exhaustion, he refused to let go of your hand.

“You don’t have to stay,” he said softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as you sat beside him. “I know it’s late.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you replied, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions swirling inside you.

He gave you a small, tired smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re too good to me.”

You shook your head, squeezing his hand. “No, Steve. I’m just—” You paused, searching for the right words. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He exhaled slowly, his shoulders sagging as the adrenaline that had sustained him through the mission began to fade. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“For what?”

“For everything,” he replied, meeting your gaze with a vulnerability that left you breathless. “For scaring you, for shutting you out before… for making you feel like you weren’t enough. I know I’ve said it before, but I need you to know I mean it.”

His words hung in the air, heavy with sincerity. For a long moment, you didn’t respond, your chest tight as you tried to process the enormity of what he was saying.

“I was so scared today,” you admitted finally, your voice trembling. “When Nat texted me, when we didn’t know if you were okay… it was like the ground had been ripped out from under me.” You swallowed hard, blinking back tears. “I realized then how stupid these past few months have been. I was so caught up in my own hurt, my own doubts, that I didn’t see what we were losing.”

Steve’s grip on your hand tightened slightly, his blue eyes locked on yours. “You weren’t wrong to feel that way,” he said softly. “You had every right to be hurt, to doubt me. I earned that. But I don’t want to lose you, baby. Not now. Not ever.”

His words broke something inside you, and before you could stop yourself, you leaned forward, resting your forehead against his.

“Don’t you dare scare me like that again,” you whispered, your voice cracking.

“I won’t,” he promised, his voice steady and resolute.

***

The days following the mission passed in a haze of quiet moments and tentative steps forward. Steve stayed at the Tower to help Bucky recover, but he checked in with you constantly. Sometimes it was a quick text—How are you? Did you eat today?—and sometimes it was a phone call that lasted longer than either of you expected.

You visited the Tower often, bringing Bucky some of his favorite snacks and sitting with him while Steve caught up on reports. Bucky teased you relentlessly, of course, his dry humor cutting through the tension in ways only he could manage.

“So,” he said one afternoon, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “When are you two going to stop tiptoeing around and just admit you’re back together?”

You nearly choked on your coffee. “We’re not—”

“Sure,” Bucky interrupted, smirking. “And I’m the King of Wakanda.”

Steve, who had just entered the room, raised an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you said quickly, glaring at Bucky.

“Just pointing out the obvious,” Bucky said with a shrug, earning himself an eye-roll from both you and Steve.

Despite his teasing, Bucky’s words stayed with you. He wasn’t entirely wrong. The way you and Steve interacted had changed since the mission. There was a closeness now, a sense of trust that hadn’t been there before.

***

One evening, Steve invited you to dinner at the Tower. He didn’t call it a date, and you didn’t press him on it, but there was something deliberate about the way he’d set the table, the candles he’d lit, the care he’d taken with every detail.

The two of you sat across from each other, the soft glow of the candles casting warm light over his face. For a while, you just talked—about work, about Bucky’s recovery, about the books you’d been reading. The conversation flowed easily, the tension that had once lingered between you finally gone.

At one point, Steve leaned back in his chair, his gaze thoughtful.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said,” he began, his voice steady but quiet. “About how scared you were. How I need to be more careful.”

You frowned slightly. “Steve, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty. I know your work is dangerous. I’ve always known that.”

“I know,” he said quickly. “But you were right. I can’t keep doing this—not without being honest with you about what’s going on. If I’m asking you to be part of my life, I need to make sure you feel like you’re part of it.”

His words sent a warmth through your chest, a feeling of being truly seen and valued. “I appreciate that,” you said softly.

Steve smiled, and for the first time in weeks, it felt like everything between you was falling into place.

***

As the night wore on, the conversation grew quieter, more intimate. Steve reached across the table, his hand brushing yours.

“I know we can’t go back to how things were before,” he said, his voice low but firm. “But I think we can build something better. Something stronger. If you’ll let me.”

You stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. There was no hesitation in his gaze, no doubt. Just quiet determination and a love that felt as steady and unshakable as the man himself.

“I want that too,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper.

His smile widened, and for the first time in months, you felt the weight in your chest begin to lift.

It wasn’t a perfect ending. There were still things to work through, still scars to heal. But as Steve reached for your hand, his grip warm and sure, you knew you were ready to take the next step—together.

[fatliberation]

What are your thoughts on weight gain being used as a metaphor for healing/character growth? It’s incredibly rare but I think it’s wonderful imagery that needs to be explored more. The only example I can think of weight gain being used as a positive symbol/metaphor for anything was in Bojack Horseman where the character Diane Nyugen gains weight from her anxiety medication, making progress as a much happier and stable person as time went on, it also helps that no one pointed out her weight gain throughout the show’s run either, it’s treated as not only normal, but a positive change for her character and I love the show so much for that ❤️❤️❤️

I absolutely felt the same way about Diane’s story, that was so refreshing and heartwarming to see, especially now looking back on it as someone who has gained a lot of weight on antidepressants. MORE WEIGHT GAIN BEING A GOOD THING!!

oddly enough, the only other example I can think of where weight gain was normalized in fiction was in trolls 2??? the one band member who was known as the “hot one” was ripped and clearly under a lot of pressure to exercise - then later in life he’s fat, totally happy, has a wife and kids, is doing what he wants, and there’s no joke or gotcha about his weight whatsoever. just a happy guy. gave me hope for children’s films.

[aingeal98]

I haven't read any comics w Jay in them, but all I hear about it is that they're a bland nothing character made only so they can advertise Jon as queer. But since YOURE a fan of JayJon and one of the realest people on this site, i dont think that's v accurate (the bland part, at the very least) and I'm curious about what they're like :3 (also the panel they chose for the poll is not flattering at all T.T why does Jon look like that)

Awww thank you! I can't promise they're everyone's taste, and I understand people's hesitation due to the double whammy of Tom Taylor and Jon Kent, and initially when Jay was introduced I didn't have any interest in them at all. What got me intrigued was the ongoing Secret Six run, which is a book absolutely chock full of messy gay drama. And that got me to go back and deep dive into Jayjon.

The basic summary that I can give as propaganda is that Jay is a seventeen year old anarchist who successfully convinced Jon Kent to go along with his plan to overthrow a dictatorship. He's much more active a partner than a generic love interest, and in a lot of ways he's helping Jon define who he is outside of "Superman's son." Despite being created by Tom Taylor, the more comics Jay appears in the more it becomes clear that he's not a two dimensional sweet supportive love interest. That boy is a Hater. It's literally one of my favourite things about him.

(And also I think people saw Tom Taylor's name, Jon Kent as the protagonist, and Jay's pink hair and made a whole bunch of assumptions about him and Jayjon that lumped them in with Tim Drake and Bernard under the "DC doesn't care they're just throwing these heroes with random boring gay love interests" take. Which I disagree with especially when it comes to Jay tbh.)

But to understand my own personal love for jayjon, as someone who doesn't really care about male characters in general, you gotta understand the third part of this messy triangle: Nia Nal aka Dreamer. Spoilers for everything involving the three of them below.

Her backstory is written in Bad Dream: A Dreamer's Story but basically Nia is a half alien trans girl who grew up in a hidden alien sanctuary in America, until her powers manifested and she left and after some drama and tragedy, she became a hero. She shows up in Jon's Superman run to help Jon and Jay out because of future visions she had in her dreams. Why? Well now we get deep into Jay.

Jay Nakamura is a refugee from Gamorra, an Asian Island nation located in the Pacific. His mother used to be president of Gamorra, but when her successor was elected he turned the island into a dictatorship and began experimenting to create metahumans. Jay was tortured and experimented on, gaining the power to turn intangible. He fled and made his way to America, where he began running an underground news site attempting to expose the news mainstream media ignores, such as the Gamorran refugees. Jon during this run is struggling with the weight of being Superman and what kind of hero he wants to be, and decides to help Jay and the Gamorrans. They fall in love, kiss, and end up saving Gamorra with Nia's help. It's very Tom Taylor as in the ideas are interesting but he's limited to everyone getting an uncomplicated happy ending. Luckily, the characters aren't limited to his run. So instead of being a simple happy ending, things get a lot more complicated.

Then comes the one two whammy of Suicide Squad Dream Team and Absolute Power, which is a terrible comic for Amanda Waller but a great comic for Jon, Jay and Nia. Really enjoyable if you pretend Waller is possessed by an evil magic force the entire time. In Suicide Squad, Waller assembles a team in order to infiltrate Gamorra and take control. She blackmails Nia into being a part of the team first by threatening to expose her hometown of aliens to all of America, and later on by holding the life of her family hostage so that she does Waller's bidding. This leads to Nia using her powers to get the Suicide Squad into Gamorra, where they then assassinate the president.

... Aka Jay's mom.

Nia does end up flipping sides and helping Jon in Absolute Power after he's possessed by Braniac, but despite that Jay still despises her, and understandably so! Jon is caught in the middle between this girl he likes who he knows is a good person, and the boyfriend he loves who understandably hates her. And on top of that his fear of his powers being used to harm others came true and he is NOT coping well after his first time being possessed. And also Nia seems to be crushing on him.

So we come to Secret Six, which three issues in is just gay drama from top to bottom. You've got Deadshot and Catman for old man yaoi, Jon Jay and Nia all forced to work together and full of messy emotions, and Black Alice who was also part of the team who killed Jay's mom but is far less openly remorseful compared to Nia.

And thanks to all that, I've grown very fond of Jon/Jay/Nia. Trans girl who's OK with killing certain assholes vs Anarchist gay guy from a discriminated minority vs Jon Kent liberal flirting with leftism while also dealing with superpowered trauma. It's a powder keg and an entertaining one!

Bonus reading list by bobbinalong on twitter. And bonus extra fun panels.

^^ Guy who is definitely doing OK and his boyfriend who definitely does not feel personally responsible for calming him down

They're very gen z and the Tom Taylor does shine through at first but I still enjoyed them a lot. Secret Six is one of the current ongoings I'm loving and need more of. Might not be everyone's cup of tea, but definitely mine!

[34saveme34]

alright, today's episode

for one AMAZING !!! absolutely wonderful

I think SMG4 is truly at its best when it takes the characters' struggles and emotions seriously, even despite some goofy aspects. Which honestly I think gives it its unique charm, something you don't really get in too many places

in some ways it reminds me of the heaviness of 2020-2022 era (also my favourite) so I'M JUMPING IN JOY YAYYYY!!! Now about 3's alcoholi-

I'm so happy we've got to see more of Karen's backstory!!

I can't believe she was homeless!!! but it really does make sense when you consider everything. Of course, finding a job for an ex assassin is hard, it doesn't just come by that easily, tbh, searching for a job in general is PAIN

also this was the moment I knew this episode would be sad. like. when you look at the list, most of these are understandable or at least in some way fit Karen and in general the very real weight of life. living is expensive

also the children were so good too and I'm so happy they show how much all 3 of them actually love their mom so much, it's very sweet

and Mario was so sweet this episode too!! You would usually expect him to be immature about this stuff but he was so nice and helpful this time. There's something so sweet about Mario putting aside his usual impulses to be helpful. It's like he feels the tone of the episode and acts accordingly. Like yeah he was still a goofy guy but not a careless one. Like he was so ready to beat up the new CEO guy. tbh I wonder if that guy will come back later, probably not

now uh.

so the moment I saw him pick up the walkie talkie from the trash, the lingering, the was he picks it up, the noise it makes, that's when I knew "Oh."

Now.

He.... okay so. This man- he wouldn't say it like that. I feel like there's something to the idea that the walkie talkie affected him. Or the tone of the episode.

"mission accepted" is just so not Mario core so it makes me believe that he isn't- entirely himself? or god, how do I- like I said he's the embodiment of tonal shifting, he's really good at it, built for it in fact.

"Mission accepted" is like. mission........ like....... I saw someone saying it could be Karen's old boss, which I'm actually more inclined to believe than Marty. BUT I do think Marty and the Boss are in cahoots.

also definitely not Puzzles, he's god damn locked up. Let him fester just a little more in his delusions, it'll make him even worse <3

honestly at most I only see it being Marty's and/or the Boss's goal to break Puzzles out to use him for their own gain but even that's a stretch if I'm being real. Puzzles, especially now, is incredibly selfish. And had been betrayed as well. I don't think it's just that easy to make him get on your side.

anyways my prediction is Karen Mario vs that boss and Marty

good parralels for both, with the whole "I used to work for you and I never wish to go back"

or. another Mario antagonist moment, who knows, I don't

[bedoballoons]

oh well if you didn’t get itI basically said that move to will probably not be able to control mui because he only appears to turn into ai but it’s just an illiusion.

for my request it was another mitsuri like us x character but we are sad about our past.

SPOILER FOR SEASON 3!!!!!

Due to mitsuri eating so much food, having be reallly strong and have pink and green hair. She was called a pig and one EX said that only a cow or pig would ever marry her which made her dye her hair black and eat 9x less than she needed. And when she found another partner she realized she don’t keep on pretending. One headcannon can I have about her is that you do this she gained an eating disorder. Where she will not eat as much as she needs.

can the characters be: wanderer,albedo,diluc,kaeya,xiao and one of your choice. I love your works and also My cat just had 3 KITTYS!!! I plan on naming them scarameow,kokkie and coco.🐱🐱🍫🍪

Ohhh! You know I really seem to write this show alot and I've still never seen it... :p CONGRATULATIONS on kittens!! Those are such cute names!! I hope they are all doing well ❤️❤️

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃

{༻~Mitsuri like reader~༺}

CW: Angsty! Reader has a eating disorder, has been called a pig and is self conscious about weight! (Pet names: Lyney: Mon chérie, my love,

A/n: I just wanted to say that if you've ever been called a pig, or cow or made fun of for your weight, please don't listen to them. Your body is beautiful and me personally I think you're amazing wether you're skinnier than average or heavier than average. You are gorgeous! ❤️

(Includes: Diluc, Lyney, Albedo, Xiao, Wanderer, and Kaeya!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Diluc:

Diluc set a plate in front of you, sitting in the chair across from you with a hopeful gleam in his red eyes...,"I haven't seen you eat anything all day...please, just a few bites. It's your favourite, fresh out of the oven." You looked down at the fresh warm food, the wonderful smell making your stomach churn unhappily, it was such a fatty dish...

Suddenly the harsh words of others started playing in your head, reminding you why you wanted to loose weight so badly..

Pig

Cow

Fatty

You pushed his cooking away, unable to even take a nibble, "I'm not hungry...sorry Diluc. It smells amazing though..." you tried to smile at him, but he clearly wasn't happy with your response. He took your hand into his and placed a kiss on your fingers, whispering against them with sorrow in his voice, "You are beautiful the way you are...please, don't listen to them."

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney hurried up to you, holding a freshly baked croissant in his hands that he'd gotten for the two of you to share, silently hoping you'd eat it with him...that all of his suspicions weren't true, "Mon chérie! Looks yummy hmm? Want to sit down for a bite?" His eyes met yours and he simply couldn't imagine how someone could say anything horrible about you, you...were the most gorgeous person in his eyes and he wished so desperately he could show you that.

"I don't mind if we sit and chat while you eat! I'm not really in the mood for a croissant right now, thank you though." You tried your best to sound sweet and truthful, feeling so guilty you had to lie to him...but you wanted to be perfect for him and loosing weight seemed to be the only way...at least in everyone else's eyes.

"...my love, I'll get you anything you wish to eat.."

"I'm just...not hungry right now Lyney."

He grasped your wrist softly, stopping you from walking away so he could kiss your lips...he'd find a way to show you your own beauty, he'd tell you every hour on the dot if he had to...

𑁍༄Albedo:

Albedo bit his lip, for once in his life he had encountered a problem he just had no idea how to solve, he thought of you as the true meaning of life, the very being that made him want to get out of bed every morning and show his love for you any way he could, a inspiration that never ceased to look perfect and yet...you didn't feel that way about yourself...

How could it be, how could someone break your heart...call you a pig for enjoying food...a cow, it bothered him to no end and he just couldn't wrap his head around that cruelty..."Klee and I made cookies...they are chocolate chip...with a few sprinkles, would you like some?" He sat next to you, Klee following after him, "Ohhh please try one! The sprinkles make them extra yummy!" She looked at you with such a cute face...that for a split second you considered it...they smelled so good and even with sprinkles you could tell they'd be delicious..but, you felt sick at the thought of taking bite...

"Awe next time Klee, I'm...not hungry right now..."

Albedo sighed...how was he going to fix this...

𑁍༄Xiao:

Xiao was having a hard time understanding your situation, it didn't make sense, why would the pathetic humans who couldn't compare to you in the slightest tell you such awful things...and why would you ever believe them? He was so worried about you, your normally plump cheeks sunken in slightly and your happy smile gone, you didn't enjoy eating...in fact he almost never saw you eat at all anymore.

He had to remind you every two minutes, just to take a few bites and even then you'd refuse, "You should eat...you need to. Please." You'd look away, slightly angry...slightly sad and just say you didn't want to, and it wasn't like he was going to force you to, but he wished there was a way he could help. He'd just have to keep telling you what was true...clearing their sick words from your mind with his sweet sentiments,

"You are the true meaning of every beautiful thing in this world, those mortals are threatened by it and seek to destroy you because of it...don't listen to them."

"You look perfect in my eyes..."

𑁍༄Wanderer:

"Why are you listening to those idiots! They probably wouldn't know what beauty was if it slapped them in the face! You are...ughhh" Wanderer groaned in annoyance, knowing full well yelling wasn't going to help you...but he was just so angry, how dare anyone bully you like that, get under your skin. "I'm sorry....I didn't mean to shout, I just, you can't believe what they are saying! Hell if someone like me, who's never loved anyone before...who never gave a damn what people looked like...could fall so goddamn hard for you, you have to be goregous. I will say that as many times as I have to!"

You fought the urge to cry, he didn't usually get so emotional over things like this, but he was worried about you and...for good reason, "Wanderer, I'm fine.." You tucked a piece of your pink hair behind you ear, trying to hide from his prying eyes that starred daggers at you, did you truly think he'd buy that? "Don't lie to me. You're not fine, you're hurting yourself...making yourself sick. Just tell me what to do! How do I help! What do I say...you're fucking perfect to me...isn't that enough?"

𑁍༄Kaeya:

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Oh...are you sure you don't want just a bite. I've gone and ordered two, you wouldn't want me to have to eat both would you? I'd surely become ill with a stomach ache.." Kaeya scooched the plate in your direction, using every persuasive method he could think of...he'd already tried complimenting you over and over, flirting with you more often, showering you with kisses and love, but you still wouldn't enjoy a meal with him. This was his last resort...

"Kaeya..."

"Pretty please...just a little would make me so happy..."

You sighed, thinking about how much you'd eaten...or more rather, how much you hadn't eaten and took a small bite, the flavours tasting good, but not like they used to...it was difficult to even swallow. Kaeya seemed so proud though, so...hopeful.

◥(•̀￦•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[blakeswritingimagines]

A Little Bit Happy

Summary: You seem to have won your husband's heart all over again after the news of you having his child, until he shows you how truly dark his heart is.

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: Part 1 Burn The House Down

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

"I'm pregnant." She spoke softly.

His eyes widened for a split second before he broke out in a soft chuckle. Was he imagining things, or were you truly saying what he thought he heard? “Do you mean it?” He asked slowly, taking in every word. He was unsure, but this would explain the weight gain, as well as why you had been so… moody. He had no other choice but to believe you for now. A child! This changes everything. Aemond was shocked. “P…. Pregnant?! Are you… serious?!” He was speechless. He tried to keep his composure but he could not hide his joy and excitement. Was it true, you were carrying his child? The thought alone sent his heart racing. He looked at you and put a smile on his face. This was the news he had been waiting for all this time. And he looked you straight in the eyes. “Is this true?” he asked, his eyes filled with joy and wonder. You heard Aemond's reaction, his eyes widened in shock and excitement. And you knew it was as you expected. You were truly carrying his child. "Yes, it is…" You replied in a sweet voice as your face grew bright with a wide smile. You felt so happy that Aemond was excited about the news, hoping the tension between you both would dissolve. "I am pregnant with our child." You continued, as you placed your hand on your stomach. "I've been trying to keep it a secret, but it has become difficult to hide. I guess I can make it official." You laughed and glanced at Aemond, who seemed to be beaming with enthusiasm. You wanted him to be happy and to hear the news he had been waiting for all this time. "It's true," you said, your eyes shining brightly.

“A baby?!” Aemond said with a grin. “You’re saying we’re going to have a baby?!” He placed his hand on your stomach, as you had done. “My lovely wife… I had feared that this day would never come. I could not imagine a day when we would not bring forth the next generation of our house. But, my worries are gone. We have made what I most desired.” Aemond laughed with joy and embraced you, holding you close in his arms as his grin grew wider and wider. Your hand rested on your stomach, the movement of your hand looked as though you were comforting the child being carried within. And he was overjoyed by this revelation. This was no secret anymore. Aemond was a man changed. He smiled and took your hand bringing it to his lips and kissed it. "Our child. Our beautiful child."

Months later, the pregnancy went smoothly and you began to notice your belly growing larger and your mood changing. You felt your emotions become more intense as the pregnancy became more advanced. Your moods shifted from happy to angry to anxious to affectionate, all in the span of just a few hours. You could not explain it. Aemond knew your mood swings were common and he understood it the best he could. However, these mood swings of yours were becoming more frequent and intense as the pregnancy progressed. He was constantly finding himself walking on eggshells, unsure of which mood his wife might have. Your mood swings were often unpredictable, and Aemond never knew what to expect from one moment to the next. But he understood, you were carrying a life within you, it was bound to create such mood swings at the least. He had to be patient with you. And he was. The days he seemed to be distant were now fewer and further between the two of you, he was there by your side always. He could see the weight changes, you were getting rather large now. He could notice it in your face and around your midriff. It was not easy being married to someone who was so emotionally unstable. It was especially exhausting being forced to play the role of husband and father at the same time never finding a good enough time to come clean about what he'd done. He was constantly stressed and his nerves frayed at the slightest change in your behavior.

The pregnancy was taking a toll on you. Your mood swings were becoming more and more uncontrollable. You would be laughing one moment, sad the next, and you could not figure out what to do about it. You felt that you were losing yourself and had no control over your feelings. You were now getting closer and closer to the due date. Your belly was huge and you were uncomfortable even as you constantly asked if you were fat or pretty. You tried hard not to let it bother you, but it was getting more difficult to ignore. “My dear, you’re gorgeous.” Aemond’s tone was filled with love and kindness as he spoke to you. “You are bigger yes, because our child is too, but you are not fat. And you are not losing yourself.” He added as he held you close. “You are becoming a mother. These feelings are natural. You are carrying our child within you. Your emotions are bound to be different. This is how it should be. You are going to give life. You are becoming more beautiful with each day.”

You listened to him carefully as he tried to reassure you about your changing body. You felt your confidence rise at the way he talked, calming your nerves with his words. You looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love, nothing but honesty. "Thank you, my love… You are right. This is how it should be." You smiled faintly, feeling more at ease. You felt your mood shift slightly, your pregnancy hormones calming down. It felt good to hear the words come from him directly, not just in your head. He was happy to see, that his words were helping. He took you into his arms and held you. His hand stroked your belly, as he spoke. “You are more beautiful now than ever before.” Those were the words he believed in this moment. You were not getting larger, you were getting more beautiful. Because the child within you was, a part of you both. It was beautiful to him. Aemond kissed you, it was a long kiss, filled with love.

Aemond was filled with nerves and excitement as the day of childbirth approached. He was as much worried for his wife’s health as he was for the child’s. But he did not show his worries to you. Instead, he tried to keep calm you. “You will be fine.” He told you. “In a few hours, we will see our child. Our beautiful child. I will be right beside you the entire time my dear.” He held your hand and kissed you once more. “I know you will. You have been by my side through everything… This will be no different.” You smiled gently at your husband, feeling comforted by his words. As you felt the baby kick inside your belly, you looked down and placed your hand upon your stomach, caressing the baby.

“Our beautiful child.” You repeated in a soft voice as you looked up to Aemond. Your breathing steadied and you felt more calm as he held your hand in his and placed gentle kisses upon it. You tried to focus on the good instead of the anxious thoughts that swarmed you. “I am so nervous.” You quietly admitted to him, feeling your emotions rise as you remembered the pain that would come during the delivery. “It is natural to get nervous my dear. But you won’t feel a thing. I hired the finest maester there is in King’s Landing to see to it that this whole process is as painless as possible.” He would let nothing happen to the woman he loved. You need not to worry. He would make sure of it. “When the time comes… we shall hold hands, and you need not fear any pain. I shall be by your side to ensure nothing goes wrong.” He spoke to you in a soothing tone, trying to quell your fears.

In your mind, all was well. You were going to give birth in a few hours to the child. A boy or girl. That did not matter much to you. As long as the baby was healthy and strong, it was all you could ask for. But the burning secret. It loomed over Aemond. He could not even feel anything but shame knowing what he was keeping from his wife. He had to keep this from you otherwise all would fall apart. He could not tell you. Not now. Perhaps never. It was the secret that loomed over him, that he felt he could not disclose to her. This was something that could change everything. But he could not find the right way to go about breaking the news to her. You were carrying his child, and you did not deserve to go through this pain when he could ease it. You were so vulnerable and he could not risk hurting you in this way. “I cannot stop thinking about the pain.” You said softly as you felt the discomfort in your stomach, moving your hand to your lower midriff and rubbing it gently. “What if I do not survive?” You whispered to Aemond, looking for reassurance from him as your eyes were glued to his. The burning guilt only grew as you approached your delivery hour. He knew he should have told you sooner, but each day the news got harder to reveal.

The more you spoke, the more he felt ashamed and remorseful. It had been months, and he had yet to tell you. What was so hard about telling you the truth, the same truth you so desperately wanted to hear. But it would ruin everything. The guilt he felt for hiding this from his wife was unbearable in this moment. You seemed so worried. You were afraid. You were looking at him of all people to console you, to tell you everything would be alright. “You will survive. I promise you that.” He told you. “You are strong. Stronger than any in the realm. I have faith you will emerge victorious.” The promise was meant to soothe you, to ease your fears, and he hoped you would believe it. He did not know how much further he could keep this from you. He had to figure out a way to tell you soon. But not now. Not while you were this fragile. His words comforted you, allowing you to smile faintly. Your gaze softened as you looked into his eyes. “I believe you.” You nodded, your breath becoming steady once again. “Just be by my side during this delivery, and we will be fine.” You said, holding his hands. You felt the contractions tightening and you gasped quietly, looking over to Aemond for a moment. "Thank you." You gave him a small smile, trying to stay positive. Your nerves seemed to have calmed down, and his words had given you a sense of relief. "I'm looking forward to holding our baby in my arms… The thought of me actually being a mother… We will raise our son or daughter with love, and we will be happy as a family." Your voice was soft and loving. You closed your eyes and leaned in to rest your forehead against his chest.

You and Aemond were celebrating the one-year nameday of your babe being born. Holding held a grand feast, inviting all the important lords and ladies of the realm. The mood was lighthearted, and a sense of happiness permeated the air. The two took some time away from the feast to enjoy the evening alone together, walking through the gardens of the Red Keep as Aemond said he needed to speak with you. Aemond had been preparing for this moment. He wanted to finally tell you the truth. It had to be done. You were finally alone, the moment he had been dreading for so long. But he could not delay any longer. He had to tell you. All the signs pointed to now. “My love, there's something I must tell you” But now he hesitated again. Maybe this was not the best moment. Maybe it should be done tomorrow, yes. Tomorrow was a better day. Tomorrow was good. He will tell you tomorrow. But as the time of the walk came to a stop, he finally built up the courage.

You smiled at Aemond, not noticing anything amiss, and you continued walking with him through the gardens. You had been enjoying the quiet moment with your husband as you enjoyed the beauty of the gardens. Your mind was occupied with the happiness of the day, and you wanted to cherish the moment. "What is it dear?" Aemond stopped for a few moments. The time had come. He did not enjoy watching you walk and be so happy when he knew that he was going to shatter all joy. He hated himself and everything about what he was about to say. He turned to face you. For a few moments, he could not speak. But then finally, he managed to gather his words together. “I… there is something I must tell you. But I implore you, please understand…” You felt a sudden tension in the air when Aemond stopped walking and you could not read his facial expression. The feeling of unease set in and the happiness you had been feeling vanished. You looked up to him, awaiting him to continue speaking. You suddenly stopped as well, your face softening as you noticed the look in Aemond's eyes. You immediately grew worried, sensing something was wrong. There was a hint of fear in your eyes as you spoke to your husband, your tone becoming urgent. "What is it? What is wrong?" You said, your heart pounding.

You were so innocent. Too innocent to know what he was about to say. He would need to break this to you gently. To be kind in this moment. To not be too harsh. The guilt was eating him alive. There was so much he had done wrong. But he had to tell you. You deserved to know what he had been keeping from you all this time. “There is… an important thing I need to tell you…” His voice was filled with guilt. He struggled to find the words. To put a voice to his actions. And as he felt his heart pounding, he pushed through. “I have… I have seen.. another woman.” He paused. It felt as though the entire world was closing in on you both. “Her name is Alys… Alys Rivers. And I have been…” You did not believe what you just heard. You thought your whole world was crumbling down before you, yet Aemond's words were slowly chipping away at your heart. The fear and anger built within you as you listened to him confess about his affair. You felt cold and numb, all hope and happiness lost within you at that moment. It took you a few moments to even breathe, the shock of it making your heart sink even lower. You couldn't even look Aemond in the eyes… you just kept her eyes on the ground.

Aemond noticed how you did not look up to face him. It tore him to pieces. He was the one to hurt you. He was the one who had caused this. He was hoping there would be some sort of understanding. But he was not so lucky. “Please, I beg you. I could not stop myself.” He knew that what he did was unforgivable. But he had to at least try to make his case. It was all he could get out at this moment. He paused for a moment and thought about the consequences this could have. You were so sensitive and he was pushing you to the absolute limit. He did need to keep his words right. But he wanted to try something. Blame you for not getting pregnant sooner. He thought about that for a minute. It was the only thing he could think of, but was it the right thing to say? Could a simple lie ease the pain for now at least? He looked at you, hoping that his excuse would be enough. “You could have gotten pregnant sooner.” He said. He was testing the waters. He had to find a way to shift the blame.

Those words hurt you more than he could ever imagine. Hearing those words come out of his mouth shocked you to your very core. You hated him for blaming you, and yet your heart clenched at the thought. The rage inside of you grew hotter as you listened to his cruel remark. You felt furious as you thought about him placing the blame on you when he had been the one who had strayed from the marriage. That was absolutely unfair to you. You had been trying your very best to give him a child, while he had been fooling around. Your face grew pale as Aemond tried to blame you, and you felt your heart sink even lower. Your eyes turned to him, filled with anger and grief as you could not believe what he just said to you. You started to tremble, and your expression turned cold, as all of the memories of the failed attempts to bring another child to life came swirling into your mind whispering in a broken tone. "I did all I could." It was the best thing he could do. He had to do it. He could not imagine what would happen to him, to his marriage if he did not succeed. You might leave him. So he must use his cunning. It was something he had been practicing for years. He knew you were smart, but your feelings made you weak. He had to use it to his advantage. “You haven’t been trying hard enough, my love,” Aemond said in a harsh tone, His eyes softened to not give away his deception. “Yes… I only wish you would have done more.” He said to you. “I cannot help but think that this is all your fault.”

His words cut deeper than a razor, cutting directly into your heart. You froze at his words, unable to speak. You felt so lost and alone now. Your whole world was falling apart. Your heart was shattered. All of those times when you had attempted to bring another human life into this world… you gave her all, feeling so much frustration and worry when the attempts failed. To say it was all your fault was just cruel, but you kept quiet, letting him continue. The plan was working. He could see it in your eyes, in your expression. All he had to do now was continue to play it out. He was getting what he desired. The seeds of doubt had already been planted. And you were not stopping him. You were letting him dig his heels in and plant more. He had to continue, the entire fate of his marriage depended on it. He continued to push you. He was not holding back even as he stepped closer and cupped your face. It was best this way. No regrets. If he could not have your forgiveness he would settle for this. “It has always been so easy for you to give up. First with the miscarriages, then the failure to conceive sooner. It is sad, that it took me having an affair for you to do anything in life.”

Tears were flowing down your cheeks, your heart in pieces. You tried to keep your composure, but it was all becoming too much for you. His words were too cruel and too devastating. And the more he spoke, the more he cut into your heart making you think you should apologize, making you feel worthless. You were too weak to even speak, your mind and body both numb as you stood there, letting him continue. Yes, that was the effect he needed to see. The tears. The sadness. Your weakness. It was all there. He just needed to continue. “You need to understand your duty as a wife… it is to provide your husband with an heir. And you failed. You have failed until recently.” Aemond was enjoying this. Seeing you like this. You were so meek and pathetic. The thought of you on your knees, begging him to forgive you was not too far off now. He continued. “If you had tried harder…” he said. “If you had offered more…” The cruel words flowed from his mouth and landed perfectly. You were in a state of shock, but you were not fighting back. Instead, you were allowing him to tear you down. He could continue down this path and finally, he would have you. It did not take long for tears to flow from your eyes. He was taking full advantage of your sadness. No time for remorse now.

You could not believe what you were hearing. It was too much to bear. Your stomach twisted at these words. You felt sick. As you stood there, tears pouring down your cheeks, your voice was no more than a whisper as you let out some words. "P-Please…" You choked out as you tried to look away from him. Your knees began to tremble as you felt you were close to breaking, your eyes filling with fear. You were so close to giving up. Your strength failing you. 'Good,' he thought. You were close. He could taste your defeat in the air. His words had found their mark. You were in a despairing state that he had never seen you in before. He had to keep pushing you. You were on the brink, he could see it. You were on the verge of giving up. Now he just had to press on. “Your failure was the reason that I turned to another woman. You had the chance to give me children. You had the chance to keep me happy, all of those times when we tried…” He waited for you to apologize. For you to beg forgiveness. This is it. This was the moment that the seeds he planted would blossom into something grand. The thought of you on your knees, begging him to forgive you put a grin on his face. “Please?” He said, smiling at you as he watched you tremble. “Please what?”

"You're right. It's all my fault." You said as you finally looked into Aemond's eyes, your eyes overflowing with tears. "I should have tried harder. I should been a better wife. I should have given you more children. Please, please forgive me." You said as you began to weep, unable to hide your emotions any longer. You felt so weak, and powerless, and he had succeeded in breaking you even as you leaned against him for comfort. Exactly as planned. You were his. Now that you had said the words, you had admitted it. Your apology was accepted, despite its emptiness. You would not try again. “Good.” He said. “I hope that you have learned your place as a wife and as a woman… I hope that you will learn from this situation. And… I suppose I can forget this incident, so long as you behave yourself from now on. But I forgive you. I want to give you another chance.”

Relief washed over you at his acceptance of your apology and his forgiveness. You smiled softly at him, finally feeling some hope again after what felt like weeks of misery. You didn’t want to disappoint him again, and now that he had given you another chance, you were determined to make it count. “I promise you that I will behave. I won’t fail again.” You said in a soft voice before looking away for just a moment, feeling ashamed. “Thank you, my love.” “Of course.” He said, giving you a reassuring smile. “I know you will not let me down.” He saw how you still looked ashamed. A thought popped into his head. He must go further with this for now. Perhaps he would regret it later on but for now. “The fault is not completely with you. I have failed you as well. I have not loved you enough. I have not appreciated you. I have not given you all the attention you deserve.” He knew this was not the truth. But it was needed to ensure your completely submissive state. “Now, shall we return to the feast?”

[oatmealuv]

love for love’s sake carefully, and beautifully handled mental health. they didn’t sugar coat the depression myungha and yeowoon were experiencing.

a lot of times in bl we see characters going through hardships, but by the magic of love they’re better again or everything gets fixed. external love definitely plays a huge part in healing and being able to get through hard situations more swiftly, but it’s hardly ever the sole solution.

myungha getting a bf didn’t cure him, gaining friends didn’t cure him. he had two guys wrapped around his finger, his grandma was alive yet he still has low self worth. he’s someone that has been depressed for so long, has had deeply ingrained negative beliefs about himself that have kept him from ever being truly happy. he believes that nobody could ever love him, he can’t bother anybody with his problems because he’s a burden.

this is why depressed people isolate, they believe all of the things the depression is telling them and it is incredibly difficult to change that. it can take years to change the way you percieve yourself and the world, i think the buffs were the blockages in myungha’s perception. when yeowoon said “i love you” to him, there was an error message because deep in his soul he believes that as an impossibility. his buffs were because of his attempts to getting close to yeowoon, he saw it as a danger because getting close would mean that he would burden yeowoon.

myungha’s life was so so sad, poor guy was dealt such bad cards. his mom living happily without him as if he never existed served as proof of the negative things he’s been telling himself. realizing that you’re nothing to no one, that you’re hard to love or you’re too much is such a hard pill to swallow. it might not be objectively true, but if your mind believes it, then that’s all it takes to completely break your spirit. myungha kills himself because he sees no reason for his life, his mom abandoned him, his gf broke up with him, and his grandmother is dead. his reason for life is reliant on other people it isn’t an internal reason.

now when he’s in the game, he’s faced with the choice of who he loves more, yeowoon or his grandma. i think that they decide to make him choose between them because he can’t fathom receiving love from two people at once. it’s overwhelming, and terrifying for someone that has had limited quantities of love his whole life. his love for yeowoon is the truest love he’s ever felt besides his grandmother. yeowoon and myungha are equals, share a lot of similar life experiences, yeowoon opens up his heart and is ready to be there for him unconditionally. even when myungha refuses to share what he’s feeling, when he is actively breaking his heart, he is willing to change whatever it takes just to be around him. having someone show you that unconditional love is both incredible and so scary at the same time. that person is seeing you at your most vulnerable, at your worst and still choosing you.

myungha is used to self-abandonment, it’s all he knows. he felt like choosing yeowoon would mean choosing himself, and in turn would mean he is selfish and leaving is grandmother to die. if he chose his grandmother he would stick to his usual self, but yeowoon would possibly go back to how he was in the beginning and die. to him everything seems like a huge risk because he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders. of course in the game that really was the consequence, choose one life over another. but i think this show really did a great job at showing just how impossible choices can be when you’re depressed, how warped your point of view gets. but i couldn’t help to think what would’ve happened if he had chosen himself, maybe that’s what he was supposed to do.

[helsex]

Okay so, I recall seeing it discussed: characters gaining weight to signify them getting better and being in a better place. And what if exhels getting each other to try their food they cooked to "see if it tastes good" or they think they're getting them to "test for poison" but it's really to get them to get food in their stomach after not eating for awhile and seeing the other struggle to allow themselves to eat and enjoy food. Perhaps later on in their relationship they buy or make each other meals or snacks that they know they like and leave it for them after they know the other had a bad day to show they care. Or the other purposely cooking something they themselves hate but know the other person likes to make them happy. Just food as a love language <333

UGHHHH YES!!! YES!! God I love exhels cooking for eachother and gaining weight and enjoying food <333

I think hels was starved pretty badly in the arena (part of my lore) and ever since he's never taken three meals a day for granted, always enjoying food to the max, she's already fat when he meets ex and has gained a proficiency for cooking

Ex hasn't quite come to such a place though, their whole life has been suffering and torment and moving from abusing one substance to the next, it's not that they stop themself from eating just that it's always been very low on the list of priorities beyond ravenously scarfing down a loaf of bread for survival

Even when they hate each other hels can't help but feed them every time they're at hels kitchen, like a stray dog, and despite their loathing for her they take it because god when have they ever had this kind of access to quality food? They still aren't healthy though, that only really starts when they and hels have actually made up and are together

Then Hels is always cooking for them, watching them carefully because he wants so badly for them to get better and gain weight. I think ex has never in their life had the opportunity to even practice cooking so what they make is .. well not good. But that won't stop hels from praising their attempt and choking it down anyways. And for what it's worth ex does get better just by watching hels cook so much. Eventually they do gain weight and hels never neglects to kiss and bite the new fat on their stomach

To never be hungry for affection or food is something new to both of them but they certainly aren't complaining

[cosmicjoke]

The Tragedy and the Hope of "Attack on Titan's" Ending:

I swear, the people that criticize "Attack on Titan's" ending and, particularly, the people that complain that it rendered everything that came before meaningless, don't understand what "Attack on Titan" was actually about. They don't understand Eren and why he did what he did, and what the overall message was warning against.

They wanted Eren's actions to actually solve Paradis' situation and for the island to be saved, but Eren didn't enact the Rumbling for Paradis, and if the island had been saved by his actions, it would have undercut AoT's actual themes, which ultimately warns against persecution and generational guilt and war. AoT isn't meant to have a happy ending, it's meant to show the consequences of forcing people into a corner and leaving them no recourse. It's meant to warn against cruelty and prejudice and greed and revenge and ideological movements that lose sight of humanity, etc... by showing us the inevitable and tragic end result of those things.

I see people comparing JJK's ending to AoT's and saying both suck, and that just tells me how little those people actually understood what AoT was saying.

The cycle starting over demonstrates how prejudice and war and cruelty never lead to anything good and doesn't solve anything. It just creates an endless cycle of violence and hate. That's the point of us seeing Paradis destroyed in the end. Cruelty only begets more cruelty, only creates more destruction and despair and waste. If Paradis had been saved by Eren's actions, it literally would have sent the opposite message, that peace and prosperity can be gained through hate. That's what Floch's whole character represents. He doesn't just want to secure Paradis' survival, he wants to literally punish the rest of the world for the persecution of the Eldian people. He wants to make everyone pay for that. He's a hateful character, and the island being saved through Eren's actions would only have lent weight to what Floch was preaching. But instead we see Paradis destroyed, the same hate it began to spread under Floch's and the Yeagerist's cruelty eventually coming back onto it, the same as it came back onto Marley.

There's so many themes in AoT though, and one theme that's vitally important and which is also demonstrated by the ending, with the 104th and the warriors coming together to try and secure peace, and with Levi ending up with Gabi and Falco and helping to rebuild what was lost, is the importance of compassion and empathy and carrying on even in the face of the world's cruelty and indifference, and also how it's important to fight against the inevitability of that cycle of hatred, even if ultimately it's a war that can't be won. The point is to keep trying, and to not lose sight of compassion, to not lose sight of our humanity in a world which does its level best to beat it out of us.

That's also why I always say Levi is the character that most embodies true heroism in AoT, because he's the character that's the most compassionate and kind, that most retains his humanity, despite having lived the cruelest and most deprived life. It's truly a heroic thing, and a heroic man, who can retain his humanity in this world. Levi retaining that empathy and kindness even in the face of the total despair and horror of his childhood and young adulthood, and in the face of so much loss later on, encapsulates this idea of never sacrificing our humanity even when we seem to have every justifiable cause to do so. That's the hope in AoT's otherwise very bleak ending. That's the hope that can be held onto even when people like Floch and the Marleyan government will always continue to exist and sew destruction and inhumanity.

That's why we see Levi doing all he can, even against the backdrop of a ruined and desolate landscape, to bring a little joy to others. That's what makes that final shot of Levi in the anime so meaningful. Here's a man who's lost everything. Lost his mother. Lost his childhood. Lost his innocence. Lost every friend he ever had. Lost the use of his body. A man who spent years alone and in total isolation from anything good or kind, surrounded instead by the most mercenary and cut-throat people imaginable, discarded by society completely, raised in violence and taught to be hateful and selfish. And yet, he's the most selfless character in the series, the most giving and empathetic and understanding. Despite all he's had taken from him, he finds it in himself to keep giving whatever he can. We see that generosity and unending kindness manifested in the simple gesture of him handing out sweets to refugee children. Levi has nothing to his own name, not even his great strength, but he continues to give.

Despite having every reason to become as cold and cruel as the world around him, as cold and cruel as mankind always insists on being, Levi instead remains full of love. And again, that's true heroism.

And so he truly encapsulates then that theme of the world being "cruel but beautiful". The cycle of hatred may never stop, because bad people will always exist, but so too will good people to stand against them and what they represent, and that's what makes the fight worth it. That's what gives us hope even against the tide of horror and despair.

[thesweetcurse]

The inner kingdom

There is one pitfall in this community that could literally take your whole joy of living and existing away. When we found out about the law of assumption, we learned the importance of our imagination. Before I knew about the law, imagination was nothing but fiction or fantasy. I wasn‘t aware of its power. One day, I asked myself: ‘‘If I didn‘t know that Imagination creates reality, if I didn’t know about the law of assumption at all, would I still have a hard time imagining without feeling like I‘m delusional or lying to myself?‘‘ No, I would simply imagine. I wouldn‘t have second thoughts or doubts because why would I? I mean I‘m simply imagining whatever I want, right? But when I joined this community, I started to misuse my imaginative power. All of a sudden, I imagined to change my outer world. I imagined to get something. My whole focus was laying on the outside. How funny is that, to do something inwardly only to change it outwardly?

I know that I‘m not alone on this. I know that there are plenty of souls in this community that fell in the same ‘‘imagine to get‘‘-trap. But I‘m here to assure you, my love, that you can easily get out of that unhealthy circle. Just like I did. This is kinda going to be a success story, but I feel like telling you also about my failures will prevent you from doing the same, or it will even help you find out, what you‘re doing ‘‘wrong‘‘. Because there is one thing that I can promise you: If you are suffering along your law of assumption journey, you‘re doing someting wrong. Please don't get it twisted. It's not about feeling good all the time. It's not about being happy 24/7. It's simply about fulfilling. It's about being content with having it within because you are that powerful. It's about realizing that you don't need to have it on the outside to feel it. How wonderful is that? I mean the feeling is so magical when you apply it correctly. If not, you will suffer just like I did. Maybe you are suffering right now.

In my case, the law got frustrating when I only imagined to get something in the 3d. It made me sick to the point that my life became terrible. I got everything I DID NOT want in the 3d. The things that I wanted for myself became other peoples reality. I thought I was in some sort of psychological thriller playing an unlucky character and God wants to test me along the process. I literally thought that everyone was happy winning in life but me.

I asked myself: Why is life getting worse when I imagine only the best for myself? Why am I experiencing the opposite of what I want? Literally the opposite. Well, I'm telling you what I did wrong: I was wasting my time and energy. I imagined because I was hungry for my desires and left my imagination starving even more. I felt empty after giving myself my desires in imagination. And so l became miserable, jealous, sad and I started to gain weight. My social life wasn't fun as it used to be and I didn't want so see anyone.I couldn't sit alone with myself anymore. I constantly had to stimulate myself with my tv, my phone or ipad. I overconsumed LOA content. I probably have read every LOA post on tumblr. My daydreams became my escape from life (Maladaptive Daydreaming). I was no longer functioning and my life went downhill.

One day, I sat with myself. It was difficult and I couldn't stand it. I was so close to grab my ipad and distract my lazy ass when I asked myself this: Do I sincerely believe in the Law of Assumption? Like at all? Do I really believe that all of this is true? Do I really believe that it's a universal law or do l believe that some people succeed and some don't? Sincerely, NO! I didn't believe in all of this at all! I had zero faith, not even a tiny bit. All the time, I was just desperately hoping. I was like "okay, no way that I get what I want but let's give it a try. I don't even want to try beause I'm sure it won't work but maybe one day my desires will decide to show up in my 3d, so let me imagine to prove myself that all of this actually works." This was such a wrong and harmful approach. It messed up my mental health.

So the answer to all questions was no. At that point I had two options: I'm either going to live my life like I used to before LOA or I'm going to read source properly and understand the law. I chose the last option, because even though I had no faith, I knew I was meant to live my life how I want it. I was meant to become the best version of myself, to get the best looks, to get the wealthy family, to get the best grades and so on. I read Neville and Edward, and I also read posts from tumblr that were really helpful. Aphroditeapprenticee was the one that opened my eyes. After reading her posts, I finally understood the law. It was never about getting, it was about being. Being doesn‘t mean seeing it with your eyes or touching it with your hands. It‘s not about being it in the 3d. It‘s about Self. It‘s an internal change. You are not doing, getting or hoping, you are only being. Remember how I said somewhere in the beginning of this post that giving my inner self what I want made me bitter? Well, of course that‘s what I feel when I hoped that having it in the 4d means I can also have it in the 3d. I didn‘t even care about my imagination because the end goal was my physical world. And when I didn‘t see it in my 3d I was expecting the opposite since what I want hasn’t shown up. My love, we can‘t change the 3d. And it is not our duty to do so. It never was. Manifesting was never about the outer world. If you want something in the outer world, than change it with your outer self. You want to lose weight? Okay than go to the gym and eat healthy food. You want to become rich? Study hard, find a high paying job and get that bag. You want a relationship? Ask somebody out. You want to become the best version of yourself? Than work step by step towards that version.

But I didn‘t want it this way. I did not want to work so hard for my desires. I didn‘t want to study hard. I wanted to be so smart, that I don’t have to study at all. I wanted to be naturally intelligent. I wanted an old money lifestyle but I didn‘t want to work for years only to live that lifestyle when I‘m old.

Do you understand, I wanted it all now. And who can have all of it at this exact time? Your I AM, your inner self, the one inside you, living in imagination. Because your true self lives in the world of imagination (and stays there!!), it can have anything. Imagination is unconditional. What changed everything for me was looking at imagination from this perspective: We know consciousness/imagination is the only reality, right? We know that 4d=3d. But I got everything I wanted when I said to my self that my 4d is not my 3d. Please bear with me I know it sounds confusing and you don‘t have to do it like me but seeing my imagination as a place that doesn‘t reflect, stopped me from imagining to get something in the 3d. When I imagined, I did it just to feel good. I saw my inner world as one reality in which I‘m god (which is actually true) and then there was my outer world, also a reality on its own. And since I‘m god in my inner world, I could give myself anything I wanted there. I felt so fulfilled because my focus was on being the person I want to be in consciousness. I shamelessly lived in my imagination which was so easy since I no longer believed that 3d reflects 4d. I didn‘t have to wait, I didnt have to hope, because in imagination, everything just is. The burden to change the 3d was completely gone. I was simply imagining to fulfill my hearts desires. I did not expect anything.

Don‘t worry. Imagination still creates reality wether I‘m believing it or not. It‘s an unchangeable fact. But for me, it was easier when I lived by the analogy that my 3d does not reflect my 4d because now, there is nothing to achieve. I no longer used my imagination as a tool to get something, I recognized it as my only true reality. I indentified with my inner self who lives there and gave myself everything I wanted. What happened after that? It showed up in my 3d. From now on, my only priority is to fulfill the inner man. Consciousness is the only reality. It is not a tool to get something, it is the end!

Very important note: I don‘t want to cause any separation. I know I‘m talking about 3d/4d but it‘s all consciousness. When you identify with your inner being, you are not creating a second self or an alter ego. You are identifying with your true self. The Self, that has been there since you were born. When you are fulfilling the inner self, put the 3d out of equation okay my love? The materialization is just a bonus. It’s nothing more. The cause lies in Consciousness. To really accept my Imagination as the only reality, I had to mentally block out the fact that it reflects on the outside because my focus would have been purely on the outside. You don‘t have to do that. The only thing I want you to take with yourself is this: Imagination is not a tool, it is reality. You are not doing to get something on the outside, you fulfill within and that‘s it.

It‘s not: I want money -> I grant my wish in imagination -> somewhere in the 3d it will show up (state of waiting) ❌

It’s: I want money -> I grant my wish in imagination -> I‘m fulfilled that‘s the end congrats✅

It‘s that easy because you are not creating anything, you are not changing the outside. The outside cannot be changed. You are changing Self and Self is not bound to objects. Self does not need proof or confirmation.