#“apocalyptic love song”?? she never stopped playing it

[helaintoloki]

I am just so obsessed with the idea of Five and Reader's domestic life (without all those doomsday shite) 🫠 so please, if you can, I'd love to read something related to that 🙏🏻

a/n: hi anon sorry for the wait ! i just started the fall semester and haven’t had much time to write but i hope you enjoy this little slice of life -esque fic

warning: basically pure fluff

The dance hall is nearly empty save for the elderly couple rocking back and forth in each other’s arms in front of the stage where the big band plays their last song of the night. Tired busboys and cleanup crew members clear away the tables and sweep up any mess to prepare for the next day of business. Despite the evening coming to a close, you’re in no hurry to leave Five’s arms as he delicately twirls you around the dance floor to one of his favorite songs.

“Ready to call it a night?” He asks with a careful smile after watching your eyes nearly flutter shut for a third time. He knows you well enough to detect when you’ve reached the point of exhaustion, but he also knows you’re not one to ever admit this out of your own volition.

“Tired already, old man?” You counter playfully, but you don’t protest as he begins to lead you off the dance floor and out the doors to your car. Your feet are killing you and you want nothing more than to crawl into bed, and Five is fully aware of your current internal dialogue. He helps you into the car and even slips off your heels for you before taking his place behind the wheel.

“This was nice,” he admits in a soft voice, glancing over at you in the passenger’s seat. Your head is pressed against the cool glass of the window as you watch the city streets pass by, and you let out a gentle hum in response to his comment.

“It’s nice we get to do normal couple things now,” you agree thoughtfully. “No assignments to complete, no world-ending apocalyptic threats to stop, no timelines to fix. Just us getting another chance to relive our twenties again in a world where the moon is still intact.”

“I’m sorry about all that,” Five relents with a tired sigh. If not for him you probably never would have been wrapped up in all that mess in the first place, and he feels partly responsible for the chaotic nature your life had taken on the last few decades.

“Hey,” you call gently, prompting the boy to glance over at your sincere gaze and soft smile, “I wouldn’t change it for the world, you know that. I literally had the chance to, but I decided against it.”

“Don’t remind me,” he scoffs quietly at the memory. The Handler had cornered you once with an enticing deal- a chance to return to your own time in exchange for Five’s whereabouts and his plans to stop the end of the world. She mistakenly underestimated your loyalty to the time traveler, and you had gifted her with a solid right hook in response to her offer. That all felt so long ago to you both now.

The headlights of the car drown your front yard in artificial light as Five finally pulls into the driveway of your humble home. After everything had been set back to normal and the Cleanse had been stopped, you both decided to move out into the suburbs and purchased a lovely little fixer upper in a quiet neighborhood where almost nothing seemed to happen. It was exactly the fresh start you needed, and every time you stepped over the threshold through the front door you felt your heart fill with warmth all over again just like it had the first time Five had carried you inside.

“I think we should get a dog,” you voice aloud for no particular reason as you flip on the lights and shut the door behind you. The house is cozily warm despite your absence, and already you can feel the eagerness rising within you at the thought of crawling into bed.

“A dog?” Five repeats with a raised brow as he hangs his coat on the wall and sets your heels upon the shoe rack next to his own.

“After married people get a house they usually start having kids, or they get a dog,” you explain with a casual wave of your hand as you walk through the hallway and into the kitchen to fix yourself a glass of water. “I think we should get a dog.”

“Not a kid?” Five teases as his fingers playfully poke into your side. You jump at the feeling, and he uses the distraction as an opportunity to steal your glass from you so that he may take a hearty gulp of water before you can protest.

“I don’t think we’re ready for that yet. At least, I’m not. I can hardly handle babysitting Grace and the twins as it is.”

“To be fair, they take after their parents,” Five reminds you with a sarcastic chuckle before handing you your freshly refilled glass of water. “I think our kids would stand a better chance.”

“A Hargreeves child with a y/l/n as their mother?” You retort with a pointed look and uneasy smile. “Not likely. I’d like to remain chaos free for at least another few years before we get to that.”

“I can’t argue with that,” he relents with a sigh before wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. “We’ve had enough chaos to last us a lifetime. The kids can wait.”

“So we’re getting a dog?”

“We’ll get a dog,” Five chuckles with a careful nod as he presses his lips to your cheek.

“Can we name him Mr. Pennycrumb?”

“Mr. Pennycrumb?” Your husband retorts skeptically, pulling away to analyze your facial features in search of any falsehood or mirth. “Where’d you come up with that?”

“I read it in a comic book once,” you offer with a simple shrug as if it’s the most obvious explanation in the world. Despite how much time he’s spent with you, you still always find a way to surprise him when he least expects it. It’s one of the many things he loves about you, and it’s why your relationship has remained so strong after all this time. It’s hard to reach a stalemate when you’re always keeping him on his toes.

“Of course, what was I thinking,” Five hums thoughtfully as he pulls away from your figure and sets your now empty cup in the sink. “Mr. Pennycrumb it is.”

He presses a kiss to the crown of your head and turns to leave for the bedroom, but your melodious call of his name has him stopping dead in his tracks. You move forward to loosen his tie for him, an adoring smile on your face as you peer up at him through your lashes and quietly voice, “I love you.”

He grins, his gaze soft with a look that is only reserved for you as he presses his lips to your forehead and gifts you a tender hearted kiss. What he ever did to be lucky enough to have someone like you, he’ll never know, but what he does know is that he’ll gladly spend the rest of his time on this earth making you happy with the life you’ve built together.

“I love you too,” he utters reverently before pulling you into his arms once more for another kiss.

[iloveelliefanfics]

Take me to the lakes

a/n: this idea popped into my mind while playing tlou then i had the whole picture when i was listening to "the lakes" by taylor swift, enjoy it and any type of feedback is appreciated! thank you<3

pairing: nerd jackson ellie x reader

summary: ellie surprises you on your birthday. ellie is being her nerd, awkward self

i take requests, not proofread

pics from pinterest!

mentions of nicknames, fluff, kissing

You and Ellie got together a couple of months ago, you spent as much time with her as much you could since both of you had things to do around town. It was a special day. Your birthday. You could never be too sure what Ellie would come up with, all the things she's made for you, the songs she's written, the drawings she's made for you. It was all nice but the best part of it was when she handed them over or played the songs she's come up with and blushed so hard but when you brought it up she denied while blushing even more. She denies a lot of things but never the love she feels for you, so she made sure your birthday will be unforgettable and amazing.

You haven't seen her much in the past week, you could guess why but didn't want to jinx it. It either could've been patrol duty, or just that she's preparing for your birthday. You knew that she was preparing for your birthday, gosh it was so obvious,bur again you didn't want to jinx it. She could barely keep it as a secret, but you didn't mind, the grin she had while telling you the past two days that this birthday will be the best of yours, she'll make sure of it. Which is something that is rare in this apocalyptic, corrupted world.

In the morning you woke up to someone impatiently knocking on your front door, you went downstairs and it wasn't a surprise that your girlfriend, Ellie was standing there holding some expired chocolate that she always brought you from her past patrols and with beautiful red roses. Again, the blush on her face was unmatched, it was almost the same shade as the roses.

"Hey babe, happy birthday!" she said then hugged you tightly carefully not to ruin the roses. You hugged her back, taking in her scent.

"Hey Els, aw, thank you! You're here early." You couldn't stop smiling.

"Well I wanted to give you these before we head out." She kissed your cheek then pulled back from the hug to give you the roses and your favorite chocolate.

Your cheeks heat up from the gesture, after months she still makes the butterflies go wild in your stomach.

"Thank you so much, gosh you really are the best." You lean in to kiss her, which she gets right away and slowly leans in for the kiss. After you're out of breath you pull away and look into her gorgeous green eyes.

"Nah, it was nothing gorgeous, you deserve the best, but now we're heading out. I have something to show you." She grins at you and intertwines her fingers with yours. You walk to the horse stables hand in hand, Shimmer, her horse is already saddled up. After she gets on her horse she helps you up.

"So are you gonna tell me where we're going?" You squeeze her waist while leaning closer to her ears which sends shivers down her spine.

"I can't and you know it, so stop it babe or we're going to go back and you'll be sitting on my couch listening to the whole plot of Savage Starlight." She tries to make a serious face, but fails at it which makes you laugh.

"No way, I've already listened to it like a hundred times, you can't tell me you'd do it again!" You're still laughing from the face she made, she looks back over her shoulder.

"I would and i know you would love to listen to it even if I'd tell you the story a thousand times." She says leading you two through the woods.

"I would, babe." You say placing a kiss on her cheek. "Is it far? At least tell me that."

"It's not where almost there." She says leading Shimmer further in the woods.

You two talk the whole way through, exchanging loving gazes, and talk about having a sleepover and a movie night.

"Okay we're here." Ellie says stopping at a beautiful lake. You take in the sights, and just can't believe where she took you. It's beautiful.

"Oh my god Els, it's so beautiful! How'd you find it?" You hop off Shimmer and walk closer to the lake.

"I came across this on one of my patrols actually, it's nothing." She looks down at her hands, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Oh, come on, what do you mean it's nothing? It's everything I could've asked from you!" You go back to where she's standing, placing your hand on hers. She looks at you with flushed cheeks.

"Thank you Els, I love it. I love you." You say then kiss her all of a sudden, taking your hand off of hers then place it around her neck.

"Of course y/n. I have more for you." She places another kiss on your lips, she pulls back and leads you to a table full of delicious snacks. Both of you sit down and enjoy the afternoon in each other presence, then go back to her place when the sun is setting to watch a movie.

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

a/n again: it's pretty short and not the best i lowkey hate it but i wanted to write this. if i have more ideas I'll write them! thank you so much if you read it. i might do a poll on what characters y'all want to read about and I'll write a fic based on the results.

[otaku-tyriq]

Do you have top 10 or top 7 favorite (fictional) characters (if you feel like listing multiple) of all time from any media?

That is actually a very tricky question, dear Anon. For you see the list if my favourite characters is CONSTANTLY changing. Similar to my list of my favourite songs haha. So I cannot give you a set "All time Favourite” list but I can offer you a "List of Characters Tyriq enjoys at this very moment on the 18th of March 2024”

1) Nero Claudius from Fate/Extra, Fate/Last Encore, Fate/Extella and Fate/Grand Order

The second I had first heard this woman say "umu” that was it for me. I knew I’d be obsessed with her for the rest of my days. She is adorable, she is loyal, she is THAT GIRL, a queen, an emperess, a goddess, and just seeing her instantly makes my brain pump out serotonin. Who even needs anti depressants when you can have Nero.

2) Vash the Stampede from Trigun Stampede

Babygirl. Princess. Loserboy. Golden Retriever Puppy. Beloved Wife. He’s adorable, pathetic, a wonderfully tragic yet optimistic character. He’s my beautiful little princess and I lay my life down before him.

3)Yoimiya from Genshin Impact

Her absolute happy go lucky attitude and sweet personality is like liquid gold shot straight into my arteries. I had fallen in love with this woman the very second I had laid eyes on her. Also she has been my main for two years at this point she’s genuinly just that fun to play.

4) Kaveh from Genshin Impact

The suffering artist trope CRANKED UP TO ELEVEN! Again like Vash this man is equally tragic as he is kindhearted and despite having been scammed out of his money multiple times he still cannot help but sacrifice his own well being if it would result in someone else’s happiness. Also before you ask: Yes, I do ship him and Alhaitham

5) Ichiban Kasuga from Yakuza

What else can I say about Ichiban other than he’s almost stupidly optimistic and no matter how hard of a curveball life throws at him, he ALWAYS keeps the attitude of "once you hit rock bottom the only way is up.”, always trying to both see and bring out the best in people. Also he’s a massive Dragon Quest fan so obviously I’d end up obsessing over this beautiful specimen of a man who at the age of 42 still is not 100% sure where women pee from.

6) Erik from Dragon Quest XI

Honestly I could have EASILY put the entire main cast of Dragon Quest XI on this list because the characters of that game are simply that likeable and well written, but if I had to choose one, it would have to be your very first party member and the hero’s best friend and totally platonic roommate Erik. This man’s sassy attitude yet undying loyalty and devotion towards the hero is so strong not even the apocalypse itself could tear the hero and Erik apart for long.

7) Ryuji Sakamoto from Persona 5

I think at this point y’all are starting to see a pattern in my favourite characters: Ryuji is loyal like a golden retriever puppy, absolutely adorable and sweet with a severe lack of Braincells.

8) Silver the Hedgehog from the Sonic the Hedgehog Franchise

Silver has literally been my favourite Sonic character since Childhood. His whole stick is that he’s unbeatable optimistic. Despite becoming from an apocalyptic future where everything is covered in flames, he never stops believing that things can become better if you try. His naivety however leads to characters like Mephilis abusing his optimism for their own agenda. But none of that stops Silver from

being one of my greatest comfort characters.

9) William James Moriarty from Moriarty the Patriot

✨Be Gay. Do Crime✨

✨Communism✨

✨Clinical Depression✨

All these things and more describe William James Moriarty and he’s so valid for it.

10) The Professor from Puppet History

He’s just a little guy. He’s a little guy and it’s his birthday

[ronanceautistic]

LiS AU where Nancy has Max's rewinding powers, but, similar as to how Max can never save Rachel, and can only save Chloe at a great price, Nancy can never save Barb, not without sacrificing Hawkins and everyone else she loves.

From the moment she gets her powers she has visions of Hawkins torn asunder by Vecna's portals (a lá The Storm), and it's never made clear to her whether that's a consequence of using her powers to keep the others safe, or whether her rewind powers came with a side of prophetic apocalyptic visions, as a treat.

Imagine when she discovers the ability to travel through pictures, how she tries to use Jonathan's pictures to save Barb, only to find she can't bear to live with the consequences of that. Or how, once they learn about the whole 'favorite music stops the curse' bit how she tries to discover Chrissy's favorite song, to try to go back and save her (maybe even successfully, if the story goes the Cheerwheeler route)...

Loved your edit, definitely created a bunch of ideas in my head, can't unsee it

Something about Life is Strange… I think the reason it wrecks me so much compared to other sad media is because I think it might’ve been the first piece of media I ever consumed with like a big sad part. I was 11 i think.

But yeah, Nancy has such life is strange vibes in season 1 and season 2 it would make such a good game adaptation. And oh my god travelling through Jonathan’s picture?? I didn’t even think of that you’re a genius (to be honest it’s been so long since i played i forgot that’s a part of her powers).

I also love the idea that no matter how protective Nancy is of her friends and family, she would tear apart the world just to get Barb back. It’s the thing that ignited everything, the Nancy we know began because of Barb and will die because of Barb. Her two big driving goals as a person is 1) saving the world and 2) getting Barb justice. Forcing her to choose between the two?? Soul ruining.

[good-to-drive]

Weedkiller and healing from the overturning of Roe v. Wade

This album is so healing and cathartic and I haven’t been able to stop listening to it on repeat since it came out. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen or understood in my entire life, and I just need some room to rant about it lol. Fair warning that this is pretty long.

When the news about Roe v Wade came out I was so angry and upset I couldn't stop shaking. I truly never thought I would live to see this happen. I felt disgusted and afraid and angry and violated, and it felt like no one cared or understood just how horrific and repulsive this is for people with female bodies. Every time I hear about another state restricting abortion rights or refusing to track maternal mortality rates or making birth control harder to access I want to vomit. I know pro-lifers think we're just being dramatic when we say these things, but it's so visceral and horrific to have your bodily autonomy taken away, to feel like you're being crushed by this huge machine that neither knows nor cares that you're a sentient being, not just a vessel. It truly gives me the same feeling that you experience when you watch a movie with body horror and gore. It's not political, it's as intensely personal as anything can be. And although I could find plenty of people expressing sadness at this situation, I couldn't find anything that captured this visceral horror and disgust that is so overwhelming all the fucking time. I felt lost and wrong, like I was less than human in this society and a fool for not knowing my place before. Like the disgust and horror I was feeling made me disgusting because no one else seemed to be feeling it. I think, like most of us with a female body, I felt that I had no right to be horrified that I was being reduced to flesh for men to use, like I should’ve already known that’s all I was.

This album did more than encapsulate and validate that horror. It wrapped it up into a little ball and took aim at it and blasted it into pieces, and left me seething mad and ready to rip the world a new one. World Eater alchemized this horror into a tangible enemy, a machine that kills for pleasure, and WEEDKILLER let me smash that machine to pieces. You Make Me Sick! let me scream to the world that I’m mad, I’m disgusted, I’m dangerous, and I’m allowed to be. Chokehold Cherry Python was like Daisy on steroids, the avenging angel returned darker and more disturbed because the world she inhabits is sicker than we knew. Worms is hysteria and numbness all at once, when the world makes you vomit until you’re dry heaving and only able to laugh at how absurdly cruel this life really is. Cheerleader let me take pride in my femininity without feigning weakness. And Possession of a Weapon made me feel like a dark, wounded goddess, my body grotesquely reduced to pieces in someone else’s chess game, but still in possession of the pussy weapon, the vagina dentata that disgusts and frightens the people who want our bodies to be pliable and abusable.

And then there’s songs like Super Soaker, Moonlight Magic, and Don’t Look At It that express queer female sexuality without shame, because even in an apocalyptic cyberpunk wasteland we’re still only human and our desires deserve to be celebrated. And Want It All, which makes me remember that however fucked up this life is I still want every last piece of it, even the ones that hurt.

The most emotional songs on the album for me were Miss Nectarine and Dying Star. Miss Nectarine is such a delicate and beautiful story about a vulnerable time of life, and so heartbreaking and moving. I think a lot of us relate to the experience of discovering a piece of ourselves that our immediate world is hostile to, and wanting to be strong enough to save ourselves and the ones we love from this reality – wanting to play hero – but being crushed and heartbroken instead. That feeling of powerlessness and heartbreak is especially visceral for me right now, wondering if I or someone I love will be put through forced pregnancy or even killed because of this new political reality I never thought I’d live to see.

Dying Star as the last track was so unexpected, but so, so necessary. It’s like this album transformed my fear and self recrimination into righteous fury, but at the last moment instead of being consumed by it I was given a chance to want something soft. To want the world to listen to me when I say “ouch”, to mourn the magic in me that was drained away even when I repressed myself and behaved like a lady and very politely asked not to be killed. To feel not just angry but hurt that even when I shrink myself and try to be what I’m supposed to be the world still grinds me under its heel. The anger doesn’t drain away – the anger is legitimate, the anger is allowed – but I’m allowed to be gentle, too. To have longing. To have a broken heart. To dream of something or someone that could soothe this pain. The legislation around female bodies is like a dying star, collapsing in on itself and creating this black hole of howling horror and fear. I have been trapped in its orbit, circling and circling the same pain, and breaking orbit might pull me apart but it’s what I truly want. At least, it is now that Ashnikko has allowed me to feel my rage and my disgust and my power and my helplessness, to own them without shame, and then to look beyond them and search for something more.

Sorry this is such a novel, I’ve just been so emotional about this album ever since it came out. The very first time I heard Ashnikko I just knew that finally someone got it. Finally there was a person out there who wasn’t forcing theirself to play nice or perform femininity in the way that was expected. Who wasn’t ashamed of being exactly who they were, feminine and masculine energies combined, expressing gender and the lack thereof in ways that I had never seen before but that felt intuitively right. And honestly this album took it even further. I am so freaking grateful that Ash released this, listening to it was a journey but it was a journey that healed my heart.

Ashnikko, if you ever read this, thank you so much.

[kyuupcumber]

AU where Percy de rolo never makes his pepperbox. He simply made a pocket watch. At first, that's truly all it was. He made it as a promise to his family and himself that he will never lose as much time as they did. He swore it. Come to find Orthax in his dreams, promising he could gain back his families time through vengence.

So Orthax possessed the Pocket Watch, that Percy has come to endearing call "The Keep" seeing that it it was a physical reminder of his keeper of time. Percy came to find that it did so much make than just keep his time, it altered and adjusted it, it changed his time, it placed him in periods of time in the future and in history.

Percy saw numerous lives of his play out thousands of times. He saw one where he builds his pepperbox, he finds one where he was arranged to marry a lovely elven woman of Syngorn before anything terrible had happened, he was shown one in which he loved that half-elven woman's brother instead, he witnessed so many Percivals live through nightmares and dreams, yet he was still without his happy ending.

Of course, no matter what timeline he was on, fate would always exist. Percy would come to meet Vox Machina after he got thrown into a jail in some pre-calamity era. They all came numerous different points in history. The twins, who Percy came to know well from his views of other Percivals, arrived from a more modern version of Exandria, carrying advanced small mobile devices he learned where "smart phones". Pike and Grog admitted they didn't know what time they were from rather that they knew they were pirates and knew they belonged in any time with an ocean and stars to guide them. Scanlan said he was from an apocalyptic future, he only went on to explain he spent his time there playing songs and telling stories to bring a light to a somewhat dreary world. Finally, Keyleth, told them she was from far before any of them, the concept of Calendars and dates weren't particularly relevant to her and her culture.

The group shared they were merely going along with whatever their lives threw at them when a cracked golden stop watch was thrown at their feet. Each of them had one. It was exactly like Percy's— except each had a slightly unique crack to its glass. (Vex's and Vax's had entirely missed a half of the glass, each piece matching the other's). Percy's was completely intact.

They also shared how the moment they twisted the notch on the side they shifted to a new time. First it was Vex and Vax who arrived in Keyleth's time. Then those three to another— supposedly unamed person's— time line, and then another where they met Scanlan. Those four plus the notably unnamed person, then moved to Grog and Pike's Scanlan. (Percy put together this is when the unamed person— who Keyleth slipped up and said was actually named Tiberius— had died while they were out at sea.) Then they all appeared here— well not before they found themselves bouncing from time to time saving people from the occasional apocalypse or evil dictator by killing him as a mere babe.

Percy found the group curious but was reluctant to tell them any of his story, much more so with his own name. Vex, who's voice had comforted him in many versions of their world, had taken the oppurtunity to simply call him "Dear", "Darling", or "Dearest". Percy had of course seen the other five in his selves' memories, and of course they mean everything to the lonely boy who only witnessed lifetimes through another's eyes, but of course he cared the most for the Half-Elven woman with her endearments before him. So he accompanied the group.

They stuck with him even once they learned his name, his past, his construction of The Keep, and while he told them of his hopes to go back in time and change the death of his family before it happened. They all decided they'd help him even though he tried to dissuade them from doing so.

So they kill the briarwoods, the orb under the ziggurat never appearing, percy de rolo never went grey at seventeen. Yet— Yet he was still here, grey hair and all, because he had severed himself from his own timeline, and so had his friends.

Orthax was amused with his thinking that he simply had to take vengence on the briarwoods— in one timeline. That one they fought wasn't even his true one. Vox Machina, excluding Percy, the ones with broken watches that weren't cursed with the presence of Orthax fought, and won against the smokey demon. In truth, it was Vex, who crushed the glass under her thumb who truly saved him.

There, on Percy de Rolo's watch was five cracks. Five cracks that exactly matched the ones his friends had (One cracks for both the twins seeing as their watches were merely matching halves of glasses).

"I... must have— some other version of me must have sent for you. He must have known I wouldn't make it. There could have been— several of me who sent their watches to each you. Pelor— I must be a complete failure if I had lost myself so many times." To which Vox Machina crowded around him and held him close and instead thanked him for bringing them together and trying again and again no matter what to win and succeed.

Vex held his face in her hands and said "Darling, I do not think you failed any of those times. I think... I think you just pushed your plan for success along its way. You're too smart to accept failure." n she kisses him on the cheek and Voc Machina agreed with her, patting Percy on the back, kissing his forehead, punching his arm playfully, or even playing him a song of a hero. he was that hero.

Yeah I dunno "I was going to be a clock-maker" still hits hard.

IF THERES SPELLING MISTAKES DON'T TELL ME I WROTE THIS IN A FURY OF ADHD AND NEEDING TO GET THIS DOWN.

[qqueenofhades]

20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus  * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

[yelenadelova]

A Brief Meta on Ellie, The Last of Us, and Space

I’ve always had a lot of thoughts about the character of Ellie Williams and particularly her love of space. In both the first and second game we see that Ellie dreams of being an astronaut. She’s fascinated with space, astronomy, spaceships, astronauts, etc. We especially get a lot of insight into this dream in the second game. In her living space in Jackson we see astronaut figures and posters and books about space. In one scene in Seattle Ellie and Dina are exploring a bank. They see tons of money from the old world and have a discussion about what they would buy if they lived in a world where the currency meant anything. Ellie, of course, states she would buy a spaceship. Then, in what is probably the most significant space related scene, Joel takes Ellie to a museum. In the museum there is a model of a spaceship. With a helmet and an audio provided by Joel Ellie is able to actually simulate space travel. And we see this is one of the happiest moments in the whole series for Ellie.

So why do I care so much about this detail? It could easily be a throwaway detail added to her character but I think it’s really significant in seeing who Ellie is as a character and a big part of what makes her so lovable (at least to me). 

The sad fact is Ellie will never go to space. She’ll never be able to be an astronaut. Even in a pre-apocalyptic world the chances of becoming an astronaut are slim. It requires rigorous training and schooling and is a highly selective process. And obviously in the world of The Last of Us no one is focused on space travel. They’re all simply trying to survive. Few people even dream of rebuilding society let alone going to space. But the really beautiful thing is this doesn’t stop Ellie from dreaming. In a lot of ways Ellie is dragged down by the harsh realities of life. She lives in fear of loosing the ones she loves and she’s seen so much death and trauma it’s hard for her to see the good in this world. It would have been easy for the Last of Us writers to make her a hardened character who shoots down dreams as impractical and a waste of time. But the writers didn’t do this. Instead they played into her dreams.

One thing I was happy to see is that these dreams don’t go away when she’s older. We see a lot of changes in Ellie over the course of the game. She looses a lot of the playfulness she had in childhood. But still she dreams of outer space. I think this detail does a lot to show that Ellie has this kernel of joy and hope in her that is hard to fully crush. The reality that she will never go to space doesn’t stop Ellie’s dreams. She still researches and imagines and thinks about the topic all the time. In the museum we see Dina reply to Ellie with something along the lines of “Oh right, your space thing,” which means this is something Ellie talks to others about fairly regular. It’s something she’s passionate about and something that makes her happy.

Space also serves as an example of the connection Joel and Ellie have. Joel puts so much work and thought into finding the museum and finding the best way for Ellie to be able to experience space travel. We can see in Joel’s house he has a book by his bedside that says “Space for Dummies”. Joel is learning about space, even if it doesn’t interest him, because he wants to be able to talk to Ellie and understand the thing she loves. Because he wants her to live her dreams even if the world says they’re impossible. Because Joel wants Ellie’s world to better than the one she’s been forced to live in.

There are so many tiny details that add to Ellie’s character and make me love her. She’s a girl who loves superheroes, who collects comic books and trading cards, she loves music, she plays the guitar and writes her own songs, she loves art and cheesy action movies. Space is just one of the many examples of these little details but it’s one I particularly love. Because it makes Ellie feel so human. Despite living in the apocalypse and facing immense hardships Ellie is a girl with hopes and dreams and thinks that make her happy. Her whole world isn’t limited by realism. And I think that is one of the many things that makes her feel like such a special character.

[misspearly1]

Be My Redemption - Chapter 1 

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

WC: 1.8k

Warning: Guns, violence, swearing. NO MINORS. 18+ content.

Notes to readers: Another Joel fic from myself, I’ve always wondered how Hunter Joel acted. Portrayed in the game as a violent thug, at what point did me move on from that chapter of his life and settle in the Boston QZ? Could it be a lady? 🤨😏 1st chapter is a starting point, little bit of Joel in there. Backstories and plot first. Also, I am British and have no clue about America I had to do a LOT of googling I do apologise in advance if the geography does not add up. ✌🏼

BMR Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist | Main Masterlist

"Texas fight, Texas fight, and its goodbye to A&M!" Solomon chanted, earning a confused look from Jackie, concern from Diego and embarrassment from you. Smiling proudly at his reactions, he continues to sing "Texas fight, Texas fight, and we'll put over one more win" pitching his voice a little higher this time, "for its Texas that we love best, hail, hail. The gangs all her-"

"Sol, please stop that. Jesus, I wish I never told you about Texas football" you groaned over his carolling.

"Compadre.. please now. its best we keep a low profile from here on out." Diego chimed in

"They're right baby, no more singing" Jackie finished off.  

Dropping his shoulders, he nodded his head in agreement as you all once again fell into silence, only the soft pitter patter of boots touching ground can be heard as you march along the famously known street 5th avenue, New York. You've been walking for a few hours now in the city, making your way to Boston in hopes of its QZ in fact being safe. Only taking short breaks every so often trying to cover enough ground today before settling in for the night. Jackie mentioned a museum of art up ahead an ideal place for some shut eye, innocently you wondered if she had an interest in art but you knew it was most likely the substantial amount of room it offered, giving her and Solomon the privacy they have been neglected as of late.

Covering the rear end of the group, you took this opportunity to wonder about your companions, about their former lives. Starting with Diego, 49 years old, built like a block with brown eyes and a brown haired ponytail, he was the leader of the group and the one we all look to for guidance through this post-apocalyptic world. You often thought about what he did before, with his obvious knowledge on weapons and how to manage high stressful situations under pressure you figured he was military or some sort, there also was the little hand gestures he'd throw out to us during our silent takedowns on infected, not that we fully knew them but he seemed to have simplified it for us to understand his orders.  

Then there was Jackie, 34 years old, short and strong with shoulder length brown hair and green eyes, she had a very kind nature, looking after us all emotionally and making sure we've eaten enough, she's always keen on learning new skills, very attentive at watching Diego tend to his guns and equipment, she also keeps a level head when things get heated, you thought maybe she was a teacher.

Finally, there was blue eyed Solomon, he exuded strong frat boy vibes, being the youngest of our group it makes sense, it's been 8 years since the outbreak and him being 21 years old then, he seems to still be working through his maturity now at 29. There's also his trapezoid shape like body he wears, muscular and wide chested on his top half you think maybe he was a footballer. Which also would explain him recognising you humming to the Texas fight song, it's played following touchdowns at University of Texas football games.  

Smiling to yourself, you try to imagine you all as friends 8 years ago, unlikely, but it's nice to speculate, you being a 29-year-old Texas gal residing in Philly at the time when the Cordyceps Virus hit, nonetheless you're glad these are the people you can call friends now travelling across country, hopefully to a place you can call home. A momentary pang of sadness washed over you, remembering the beginning of this journey, 10 of you at first had set out, 6 of them are no longer here with you.

Your thoughts are halted, attention veered towards the fist of Diego held up in the air in front of you, silently telling you to stop, at once your instincts have kicked in, on high alert looking for the danger he apparently can sense, without further warning a large explosion erupts in front of you all. Stepping backwards, another blast from behind pushes you all together, boxing you in almost, in a flash Diego is at work, demanding you all "Move! Move! Move!” Signalling to an overturned car to your right. Without further ado you all move hastily to shield yourselves from the onslaught of bullets whizzing passed the car, "Y/N! Smoke bombs" the call out from Diego had you digging through you backpack, grabbing the bombs you quickly passed one to him, waiting for his next move.  

"On three we throw them, move towards the doors of that building there, okay?" Diego ordered and with three certain nods of a yes back to him he started mouthing. One... Two... THREE.  The crafted smoke bombs thrown over the car exploded, blanketing the area big enough for you four to move safely without being seen.  

"GO. GO." Diego yelled as he corralled you three up the stairs of the stone building and inside the doors, Sol helping him push them shut and using a broken plank of wood he found to slide through the handles buying some time for a means to escape. "C'mon hermano, that won't hold for long"  

"Hey guys. Over here" Jackie yelled out, beckoning you all over to her where she stood down the end of the big room, "c'mon y/n, let's move." Diego spoke. Down the aisle between the countless rows of seats, you looked up, admiring the beautiful stained-glass windows that lined the walls and intricate religious sculptures carved in the ceilings above. "Here look, there's a garden out back, I bet those stairs lead that out that way." Jackie elaborated, standing beside a window pointing to stairs leading down to what looks like a cellar.  

You all start towards to stairs, noticing that it spirals downwards into darkness, Diego naturally taking the lead, Jackie behind him then Sol, leaving you covering the rear you make it two steps before hearing the very distinct sound of a crack, then rubble falling, looking up your right you saw a column breaking away and quickly falling in your direction, instantly noting the danger you pushed Sol forward down the stairs "Sol, move!" Launching yourself backwards, your curled up in a ball, bracing for the impact but it never came, you heard the connection of concrete hitting concrete, but by sheer luck it had landed by your feet, breaking apart and filling the stairway. Rushing to your feet, you climbed atop the rubble, "Hey! hey, are you alright, is anyone hurt"  

"We're okay chica, Sol's a little beat up by the fall but nothing is broken. can you get through?" the voice of Diego hummed through the pile, "Is the moon made of cheese Dee?" you chuckled lightly back at him after a brief pause you added, "you guys have to move, they're trying to break through the door. I can see scaffolding outside of a window up here, I can break the glass and climb out. Go Diego, there's no time to argue."  

With that you're up and moving towards a set of doors behind you, ignoring the pleas of your friend, pushing them open and relieved to see there's a narrow walkway leading upstairs. Once you’re up there you go to the window, without hesitating bringing your knee to your chest and extending your foot out as hard as you can, breaking it instantly, you climbed out onto the wooden platform shakily. Upon investigating you don’t see any other way down other than a garbage shoot leading into a dumpster, hearing the unmistakable noise of the barricaded doors busting open and fleets of footsteps barrelling in, you climb in the shoot and silently pray its safe as you let go.  

Sliding down, with closed eyes you hit the dumpster with a soft thump, standing up exhaling a thankyou under your breath for the soft material that had been discarded in here and climb out, turning around to see a dead end, knowing you can’t get to the garden the only direction available being the front street, back on 5th avenue. Jogging that way, you duck behind a truck that had done a bad job blocking the alleyway, peaking over the flatbed you don’t see anyone on the street, suspecting they had all entered the cathedral. Looking right, you continue on, maybe there's another way around?  

There’s an unsettling feeling in your stomach, the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, someone is watching you. You know it, you can feel their eyes watching your movements, weaving in and out around the cars littering the streets, unclipping the button of your holster on your hip, turning the safety off and gripping your desert eagle, you snapped around aiming it, swearing you saw a shadow, someone or something hiding themselves. It could be infected, a stalker, they like to hide or it could be a hunter, maybe you didn’t see someone in your hasty exit. Keeping the gun in hand, you decided to quicken your pace and only when you clearly hear the sound of boots scraping pavement to catch up you break out sprinting hard and as fast as you can.  

Chest starting to burn, the sound of blood pumping in your ears making you dizzy, you must've run three or four blocks by now, breathing heavy you notice the park coming up on your left, central park. It's getting dark, maybe I can lose my tracker in there, steering to the left you can hear a deep faint mumble of “oh no you don’t!”  

Thankful for the years of overgrowth it works perfectly now for you to disguise yourself, the thick vegetation of trees and bushes prove as excellent cover as you hide behind a tree stifling your deep breaths and carefully listening. Removing your backpack, you slid down the tree and crawled under a bush, burying yourself as footsteps grew nearby.  “You get anything?”

“No... I lost her... She's round here... Somewhere” the second man spoke between laboured breaths, you recognise his voice from earlier he was the one chasing you, you also recognise his accent, it’s the same as yours. Eyes widening at the two pairs of legs right in front of your face, guns in hand, they continue  

“Eric will have something to say about this Joel, we didn’t get a single one”  

Thank God, you thought to yourself.

“Like I giv’er fucking damn”

They start to walk away, their voices growing distant.

“Joel Miller, a violent thug and a brutal killer, out smarted by a girl, the guys won't let you live that down”

The man tuts in response.

Still laying under the bush you don’t dare move, paralysed in fear. That man's name and voice ringing in your head. He saw you leave the alley; he could have shot you then. He followed you, stalked you three blocks down the road and still could have shot you and just now when he saw the straps of your back pack sticking out from underneath the bush, unsuspecting to his ally, sliding it back to you with his foot, he could have shot you, outed your position but he didn’t. So, you stayed there... shocked... paralysed.  

Chapter 2

[lonelypond]

She Smiled

NicoMaki, Love Live, 1.5K, 1/1

Summary: This takes place during Episode 12 of the anime. Maki's having trouble composing. And sleeping. And Nozomi's going to meddle by proxy.

She Smiled

Tojo Nozomi looked up from her cards, green eyes dulled, “Eli-chi?”

Her tone was an immediate warning to Ayase Eli that something was off, “What’s wrong?”

“Maki’s in trouble.”

“With school? She’s top of her class.”

Nozomi shook her head.

“With the new songs? She seemed pretty pumped.”

Nozomi shuffled the cards together before Eli could lean over and read them herself.

“I’m…not sure. I don’t know enough.”

Eli knew Nozomi rarely admitted ignorance.

“She talks to you, though.”

“Not really. She spends most of her time with Rin and Nico. They’re the only ones who can get a word out of her sometimes.”

“She respects you.”

Eli snorted, “She’ll still steamroll over me. Nishikino confidence is katana steel sharp.”

“I don’t think she’ll talk to me about this, Eli.”

Eli got up and moved to the window, “I can try. If it’ll help Muse.”

“It will.”

###

Nishikino Maki had frozen. At the piano. Incapable of making any music out of the images, thoughts, memories, wonderings smashing around, demanding all of her attention. Had she played at all? Beethoven, briefly? Or Satie? Or perhaps Wild Stars?

A quick knock on the door. Maki glanced over. Twintails. Nico-chan. She could feel her cheeks redden. Her pulse raced. Was she breathing? Nico knocked again. Maki inhaled and nodded, slightly. The door opened. Maki forced her eyes to stay on the keys.

“Want me to walk you home, Maki? Nico could buy you a smoothie.”

“No.” Too harsh, too immediate. Maki could just see in her peripheral vision as Nico’s cheerful expression dimmed. “I have to finish.”

“Oh.” Nico’s tone was relieved. She sat next to Maki, making Maki’s frozen state even stiffer. “Nico knows Maki-chan can write the best songs. Muse is the luckiest to have Maki working so hard.”

Nico’s hand squeezed hers, “Finish up so tomorrow Nico can walk you home. Nico’s been working on some ideas for how to get more people at our next show. Wonder Zone was good, but we need lines that wrap around three blocks.”

“Sure.” Maki had lost the context of what Nico was saying.

“Maki-chan knows Nico’s always right.”

Maki knew Nico always said she was right. It never seemed to matter if Nico was wrong, everything got swept up in a wave of hard work and charm and then somehow it worked out all right, whether Nico did it herself or someone else actually saved the day. Maki found it fascinating to watch. It was as if Nico could speak things into existence.

“So think about Nico.”

“What…no…it’s music; that’s the problem…I’m not…” Maki had pushed back from the piano in a panic, almost knocking Nico off the bench and now standing behind the bench feeling tall and stupid.”

“Do you have a fever, Maki-chan?”

Concerned eyes, so soft, so deep, Maki could float in them, and then panic in her stomach and she stepped back. “I have to finish. Don’t you listen to me?”

Nico tilted her head, “All right. Nico will leave Maki-chan to be a genius. But tomorrow, Nico wants some attention from her favorite fan.” And Nico spun, giggling, “Nico Nico Ni.”

Maki grunted, sitting back on the bench, listening for the door to close. Tomorrow, she had ‘til tomorrow to remember how to talk to Nico. Nico was sharp; Maki in a fugue state would lead to too many questions. And Maki had no answers for her own questions. Nico’s would be apocalyptic fire.

###

A hand on her shoulder, shaking her. Firm grip, but not Nico. Nico’s touch was always…open somehow, very confident, but…curious? Why had that word popped into her head.

“Hey, Maki.” Eli’s voice, “Didn’t Nico stop by to walk you home?”

Maki lifted her head off her arms, thoughts tumbling.

“Maki?”

“Told her to go home.”

Eli was obviously worried. Maki decided continuing to stare at the keyboard was her calmest option.

“Did you fight?”

“No.” Maki’s temper broke through control. “We don’t fight all the time.”

Eli felt herself shrug. Maki was obviously exhausted, her eyes wide, panicky. She seemed ready to bolt. How to get more information without making Muse’s composer too skittish to communicate.

“How’s the song?” Music first.

“Which? I’m working on three.” Maki’s answer was snappish. “I’m going home.” She stood, picking up her bag, pushing past Eli.

Then she stopped. “I can’t talk to Nico.” It was a whisper.

Nozomi was right. “What do you mean?”

A subtle shrug, “I don’t know how to talk to Nico. And no, we didn’t have a fight.” Hunching defensively.

Gently, Eli thought, “What happened?”

“She smiled.”

“Nico smiles a lot.”

“I know.”

“You should be used to it.”

“Right.” More sullen.

“Tell her?”

Maki whirled, fists clenched, mouth an angry line. “Why?”

What would Nozomi say? Something irritating, something that would just get under the skin, prickling until truth came crying out. Maki probably wasn’t a crier. Which was good because if Nico came back and found Eli comforting a crying Maki…well, Eli did not want to have that talk.

“Don’t just stand there and stare at me.”

No, that was Nico’s job. Ah. Eli knew what Nozomi would say.

“That’s Nico’s job isn’t it?”

Maki’s face reddened, “SHUT UP.”

Silence Eli didn’t break.

“I’m going home.”

Eli watched Maki speed out the door. Would that be enough to help her friend to a breakthrough?

###

Nico was glowing. The school was staying open. Practice had been turned into a celebration and Nico was GLOWING. Maki blinked, unsure if there were sparkles glinting somewhere or the sun was slanting in at a new, Nico-centric angle. She jumped, she glowed, she shared and Maki’s cup pushed forward, everyone else’s following by reflex as “kanpai” was shouted and Nico dimmed a little. Not much. Just enough that Maki could breathe again.

And then Umi…Umi with fierce eyes, announcing this shattering thing, this unexpected thing, this abyssal rift rapidly opening between Honoka’s brightness and Kotori’s gray, but then it was a collision, Kotori, Kotori the calm, lashing out at Honoka, pain whipping through the room, filling it so Kotori fled, followed by Honoka, and Umi. And then Maki, air in the room too heavy, was in the hallway, up the stairs, but not turning to the piano, no to the roof. There should have been practice, nothing would have gone wrong if there’d been practice.

###

Maki felt the metal of the fence bite into her fingers. She hung her head down, forcing chords into her head to push out the raw pain of Honoka and Kotori, the slash of Umi, the silence in the room. Why? Why now? Why was everything falling apart?

“Maki?” Nico’s voice. “You weren’t at the piano.”

“We should have just had rehearsal. I hate parties. Parties make everything go wrong.”

Nico’s hands were on Maki’s waist, turning her around, “Nico will race you somewhere. You’ll lose but Nico will be cute and then everything will be okay.” A wink. That smile, “Loser buys french fries.”

Maki laughed, doubling up like she was throwing up all the tension twisting inside her with every racking guffaw. Then somehow, Nico was sitting on the wall, leaning against the fence, her arms around Maki and Maki was almost breathing.

“That’s better. Maki-chan is the cutest. And Nico knows cute.” One hand to her temple, “Nico Nico Ni.” And the real Nico smile, with the sly, knowing humor, the shared warmth. The smile Maki loved.

“Don’t smile at me, Nico-chan. My ribs hurt.”

“Don’t be so cute.”

Maki reached up her hands, feeling the tears against her cheeks, “I’m crying, Nico-chan.”

Nico’s fingers were gentle on her cheek, “Still cute.”

Twilight. Maki should have been home. How long had she been standing there? What would happen tomorrow? Nico’s fingers were now brushing her hair behind her ears and Maki couldn’t look away. Nico’s expression was puzzled, her head tilting, as she searched Maki’s face for the next reaction. Maki’s heart pounded so loud, it filled her ears, her pulse a stranger inside her, wanting out, to surge, to be grounded.

Lips closer. Had Maki ever been this close to someone? Shared breath, through the skin of their hands, Nico’s eyes lava incandescent, Maki closing hers to have some hope of surviving this rush, and then soft, firm, wet…none of those things Maki expected, just reaching, touching, like when a perfect chord filled her brain, and she pressed every note into the piano and there was suddenly a new world, full of this mood, this wonder, this new, all motion, but met with equal motion, lip to lip, not to talk, but to create, to shudder, to sing a silent song all the birds heard in their bones with the life that dawned anew every morning.

“Maki.” A whisper of wonder.

Maki’s eyes fluttered open, Nico still so close, but instantly catching her glance, everything not said, smiled. Everything not said, smiled. Maki knew she’d learned Nico’s secret. And now it was theirs.

A/N:

I just had the thought that one day, Nico smiles at Maki and Maki can't think straight anymore so this happened. Drop a comment/hi; it's been a long summer.

[gunterfan1992]

Interview with Half Shy (the songwriter of “Monster”)

For the last few months, I’ve been collecting information for a second edition of Exploring the Land of Ooo that will also cover the production of Distant Lands. This means that I’ve started to look into the new songs that we have been graced with this year, and this of course includes “Monster,” the beautiful track from the masterpiece that is “Obsidian”. And so I reached out to the song’s writer, Half Shy, who was kind enough to chat with me via email about the songwriting process!

(Photo courtesy of Half Shy)

In many ways, Half Shy is living the creative Adventure Time fan’s dream: She got asked by Adam Muto himself to write a song for “Obsidian” after he heard her music through Bandcamp! (I’ve dabbled in fan music before, and the fact that someone from the show might listen to it just blows my mind.) What an opportunity; I am so excited for her!

Since a second edition of my book won’t be coming out until after all the Distant Lands episodes air, I thought it would be best to share my Half Shy interview now. Read on for the fascinating behind the scenes story of how Half Shy and “Monster” came to be..

GunterFan: What is your origin story? How did you get involved in music, and how did the Half Shy project come to be?

Half Shy: I’ve been making music pretty quietly since I was in high school with a keyboard and guitar. I played one or two shows a year after college when I could find a friend or my brother to get up on stage with me, but I don’t really have that performer gene in me naturally. I get too much in my head and forget what the lyrics are to the song I wrote, or what the next chord is. Total brain freeze. So that whole experience is a bit of a mental drain. It’s something I think I’d like to dig into and figure out, but right now I’m really enjoying the time writing.

Even playing a song for my friends I still get pretty nervous. That’s where the name Half Shy comes from. I’ve always been interested in making things that by their nature draw a bit of a spotlight, but at the same time, I am just really quite nervous about the attention.

I recorded my first songs under my old name Hey V Kay in my bedroom and started putting them up online one at a time. When I got enough I thought about packaging it up into an album, but then got really distracted by learning how to fix up motorcycles and going to automotive tech school. When I eventually got back around to it I named the album Gut Wrenching.

After a few years I realized that I didn’t want the day-in-day-out life of a mechanic, I just wanted to know how to fix cars for myself and to have that knowledge in my back pocket. I got back into making music but grew frustrated at the process of writing and recording songs. I felt like I wasn’t able to capture the ideas I had in my head. Like trying to draw on your computer with a mouse. Doable, but it’s not going to come out like you’d hoped.

So these last couple of years I’ve focused more on learning the technical aspect of it, from the initial ideas and lyrics, to the recording and mixing. During that process I put out Bedroom Visionaries, and while writing I happened upon the name Half Shy in an old Thesaurus which felt instantly right. Learning all of that has been fun, I even went as far as to create my own book to solidify a daily writing routine (lyricworkbook.com). All that has been a bit of a tangent from actually making much music though. I should be getting my books in December from the press so I’m really looking forward to getting back into making more music instead of dealing with printing presses, setting up websites, and sourcing ribbon suppliers.

GF: What is the story behind "Monster"? How did the show get in contact with you?

HS: I keep a log of “Song Starters” with neat things I’ve heard in the world, and I would look through it every now and then and notice just how many came from Adventure Time. Eventually I thought well, I have to make a song about this show that just keeps breaking my heart. It was around the time I was nearly done with the first [Adventure Time-inspired] song “In My Element” that I got an email from Bandcamp saying “someone bought your album (Bedroom Visionaries).”

I get maybe one or two of these a month at most so I love to go in and say hi to the person and say thanks, be curious about who they are, [and] what they’re all about. Turns out it was Adam Muto, the executive producer of the show. (I asked and he has no idea how he happened upon my stuff. He guessed that I must have tagged something #adventuretime and he just happened to see it.) So I sent him an email saying, “Hey wow thanks for checking out my tunes. Also... holy crap you’ve made the best show I have ever seen in my life.” [I] played it real cool like. After finishing up writing my second [Adventure Time-inspired] song “Betty” I couldn’t help but fangirl real hard [and I sent him another message saying], “I’m sorry this is probably awkward, but I really love your show and I wrote these songs about it.” He was incredibly kind and shared them with his Twitter Universe, and a while after that I got a random email from him saying basically, “Hey, I’m working on this thing I can’t talk about, would you be interested?” I was like… well you know I’m pretty busy working at a sign shop so I’m gonna have to pass on this once in a lifetime opportunity (J/K. Obviously I fan-girl squealed and said yes immediately).

We chatted a bit about what the project was going to be and the direction. He mentioned there [would be] two Marceline songs in the special, [and he asked if I] would I be interested in giving the love song a try? Trying real hard to suppress my instant imposter syndrome I was like, “Yea, totally I’d be into giving that a shot!” So I read through the story and loved the idea of the dragon mirrored in Marceline, thinking through how they’ve both built up a protective shell, how she grew tough for a reason, but now she can open up and be vulnerable with PB.

From there I wrote the initial demo with the first two verses mostly intact and we went back and forth a few times editing it down into the final version. I recorded the final parts for the show in my little home studio in Seattle.

GS: When you were writing the song, what emotions, thoughts, or ideas were you channeling? Was there any sort of memory of event that you were trying to artistically "catch" or "recreate" with the lyrics or music?

HS: As far as channeling an emotion, generally I’d say just the experience of existing as a human. It can be so hard to open up and be vulnerable. I can remember that feeling even as a young kid—getting really excited about something and having someone completely trash it or look at you like, “Why are you so interested in that? It’s dumb.” [It causes us to grow] a little more weary to share ourselves because we know that hurt and embarrassment. The pain of being misunderstood is something I think a lot of us can relate to. Then having to decide whether to keep sharing those vulnerable parts of yourself or think, “They’re just not going to get it, I’m going to get hurt, so why bother?” and then stop putting yourself out there. You lose a lot with that thick armor though. You might feel protected, but you’re not feeling a whole lot of anything else other than the weight and chafing of it (I had a whole lot of armor-related metaphors that I didn't end up using.).

I struggle with this in songwriting too. I’m not the bolt-of-lightning type. There are pages and pages of cliches, total garbage, bad jokes, and cheesy lines that I have to get through in order to get to something that I am excited to put out there into the world: “Here I did this thing, I know it’s a little (this or that), but I made it... What do you think?” It’s hard to open yourself up to hearing the other end of that question.

I filled about 5 little pocket notebooks just thinking through the story, ideas, and trying to get this song right. I wanted it to feel familiar and honor the past songs of the show ([e.g.,] using the ukulele and referencing a few of the familiar chords from “I’m Just Your Problem”) but also be pretty open and vulnerable and different for [Marceline]. [I wanted to] show that she’s going through some tough emotions but also figuring herself out and growing.

GF: I feel like “Monster” is, at its core, an ode to the “Bubbline” ship. How do you feel about your song being intimately connected to one of the most famous LGBTQ+ relationships in animation? Do you have any general thoughts on Marcy and PB, Bubbline, etc.?

HS: Oh, I’m a total fan girl of Bubbline. The whole story of how Rebecca Sugar and Muto slowly morphed it into this deeper relationship is just great. As a part of the LGBTQ community myself it really means so much to see the representation of characters like yourself portrayed in an intelligent way. Growing up I was too young to fully understand what was going on but I saw Ellen getting cancelled, and [I] heard people around me saying they’d never watch her show again after she came out. That stuff sinks in as a kid and so to have these characters who are not only intelligent, but funny, complex, and unapologetically strong who also happen to be queer is really great. I love that the story here isn’t about their orientation, but that they’re people struggling with how to be open and vulnerable in a relationship.

It feels like something sci-fi and animated shows do so well—to show that ridiculousness of limiting who a person should and shouldn’t love. Marceline is a 1000+ year old half-demon/vampire and PB was born from the Mothergum of an apocalyptic radioactive world, but you’re going to get hung up on them loving each other? It sort of brings it into perspective in a really interesting way.

GF: Do you have any other thoughts about the experience that you'd like to share?

HS: Just how lucky, thankful, and honored I feel to be a part of my favorite show, writing a song for one of my favorite characters. It’s also incredibly cool how the people on the show are so willing to connect and collaborate with their fandom. Everyone [on the production crew] was very open and a real joy to work with.

I’d like to give a huge “Thank you!” to Half Shy for agreeing to participate in this interview; she really was quite amiable! If you’d like to hear more of her music, check out her website and her Bandcamp. You can also follow her on Instragram here and on Twitter here. And of course, here is Half Shy’s awesome video of “Monster”.

[wolf-and-bard]

The Edge Of The Edge Of The World

Prompt: Human Shield

Relationships: Jaskier/Filavandrel

Rating: M

Content Warnings: some violence, not graphic; implied minor character death

Summary: When Jaskier starts to have the same apocalyptic dream from Filavandrel's point of view over and over again, he decides to go a-looking for the elven-king. He finds Filavandrel in the valley of flowers, finds also that his old crush has not dampened. Just when they are reuniting, they are disturbed by a hired assassin... In which: Filavandrel bears the weight of the world upon his shoulders and Jaskier is drawn to him, helpless to fix it, but willing to try anyway.

Word Count: 4.6k

@witcher-rarepair-summer-bingo​ I AO3-Link

It's the dreams that ultimately bring Jaskier back to Dol Blathanna. After everything was said and done - the clutches of the elves escaped, his song written, Geralt pestered - he swore himself not to meddle with Filavandrel and his sundered court ever again. Out of respect, yes, and out of fear, and out of a strange mixture of both. The latter concerns a part of Jaskier that is all lust and greed, and would have been strip-dancing for Filavandrel if it hadn't been for the imminent threat to his and Geralt's lives. Jaskier finds no shame in that, he was eighteen then, but he also isn't quite so certain that upon meeting the elf again, he wouldn't fall prey to those same desires. His heart has a strange way of becoming stuck in time like that. And Jaskier wasn't going to give in and go. He wasn’t going to return to the Valley of Flowers, no matter how often he thought back to his time among the elves, no matter how many sonnets he dedicated to the stern eyes, proud figure, golden locks, and tragic history of one Filavandrel aén Fidháil. He wasn’t. But then the dreams start around the same time that Geralt starts being tossed more prophecies than coin and Jaskier has to attribute some significance to that, right? Destiny tends to meddle in heaps like that and while Jaskier is no firm believer in higher powers, he can see clear as day the strain it puts on Geralt, avoiding it day and night.

On top of that, the dreams repeat. Jaskier never has the same dream twice. He just doesn’t. Only this one, he goes through every night for a fortnight straight and it comes to the point that even Geralt - who's still treating Destiny like his lavatory - calls him out on it. "You've been crying through the night again," he grunts one morning by way of greeting and when Jaskier gently brushes his own cheeks with sweat-sticky fingers, they come away wet. Salty air clings to his nostrils and he sniffles, still caught in the undertow of the great melancholy that suffuses every moment in that other world. The inn room around him feels thin, see-through, and Geralt wavers around the edges, fuzzy like smoke so much so that Jaskier doesn't dare reach out to his friend for fear of him dissolving.

“It seems I have,” he mumbles to himself and glances at his lute. The instrument sits idly in its case, having caught dust as they’ve been away on a three-day hunt for a rabid, enchanted bear, and the ornamental swirls glitter in the first sunlight of the day. Jaskier can feel her like a presence, the same way Geralt can feel his medallion, he suspects. She hums with a similar sort of magic.

A treasure from Filavandrel himself. More than a kingly gift, the instrument serves as a constant reminder. To remember and shut the fuck up about it. Jaskier gets up and ignores Geralt’s confused grunts. He’s in nothing but his smalls still, but this cannot wait.

“Jaskier, are you awake?”

“Yes, yes,” Jaskier says, waving Geralt’s inquiry away. Careful not to upset her – something Geralt would roll his eyes at him for, no doubt – Jaskier picks his lute up by the neck and props his foot up on the chair the case sits on. He balances her on his knee and puts his fingers down on the neck to play the first chord he ever strummed on her. Jaskier does and it sends a jolt through his body.

The notes go straight to his chest and he sobs out loud. More tears stream down his face and he knows he has to heed those dreams. Filavandrel needs him. Jaskier is sure of that.

“There is something I have to do,” Jaskier says and puts the lute back into her case, then turns, scrambling about for his clothes. “A journey I have to take.”

“Jask, you’re crying. Is there… are you… do you need my help?” Geralt’s head is cocked, his eyes wide. Jaskier shakes his head. This is something he has to do on his own. Jaskier gets dressed and wolfs down the breakfast Geralt orders for the both of them, then disappears. He only notices when he’s two days out of town that he forgot to tell Geralt where he’s going. Destiny holds his life in her hands then and Jaskier find he doesn’t mind.

---

Jaskier doesn’t know the way to Filavandrel’s halls exactly. It takes him a week or so to travel to Posada where he stops for a rest. The people there remember him, well they remember the white-haired witcher that took care of the devil, but they also remember the bratty bard they threw bread at once prompted, and Jaskier gets a chance to update his reputation with beautiful renditions of his top three songs. They earn him a hearty dinner and a feather-stuffed bed for the night. He sleeps like a rock for the first time in forever, and once more wakes with mournful tears staining his cheeks, his skin thin. The dreams have been more intense, more vivid and real. Jaskier can barely remember what it felt like to wake up without this great grief weighing him down and still, he pastes on a smile. Whistles a tune as he gets ready to search for the elven-king.

Jaskier leaves his horse with the lovely innkeeper in Posada, as well as the rest of his belongings – spare clothes, spare lute strings, his journal – all save for the instrument herself. The woman will keep them save in exchange for his promise to play at her establishment some more to draw customers once he returns. Before he knows it, Jaskier’s out in the valley again, by himself this time. Without Geralt there, the pervading aroma of onion doesn’t subtract from the rich smell of the flowers that are in full bloom all over. It seems Jaskier just about managed to capture the right season for his visit. Colour explosions burst to every side as far as his human eye can see. He is not here for those though, he is here for a very particular flower, and he finds Filavandrel not among his peers, not in the caves that are hidden, interspersed in the jutting hills.

He finds Filavandrel on the edge of the Edge of the World, keeping watch over the valley atop a steep peak. The wind gently ripples through his hair and the beige cloak he wears over his clothes to blend in with his surroundings. His feet are bare, his stare solemn and distant, and Jaskier watches him from behind a boulder for half an eternity.

“Come out, bard. You need not hide nor cower before me ,” Filavandrel says eventually. His voice is soft, low, but the gale carries it to Jaskier’s ears as though the elf was standing right beside him. Jaskier’s heart picks up and he swallows before yielding his spot. He approaches Filavandrel from the side and sinks to one knee when they are mere feet apart, chin pressed to his sternum. To show his enduring respect and to get his facial muscles under control because his eyes prickle as though he’s going to cry again, but his lips want to slip into a grin and his nose itches. Filavandrel is a marvel, even forlorn and lost as he currently stands. Jaskier decides to strike the word beautiful from his vocabulary the moment that Filavandrel places a crooked index finger under his chin and bids him to look up.

The word ought to be reserved for the sight that greets Jaskier, and that sight alone. Filavandrel peers down at Jaskier from under hooded lids, his eyes dark and mysterious. His hair glows molten yellows and golds, tinged orange from the descending sun, and specks of that light dance on his pale cheeks. His long lashes cast shadows, his lips are parted ever so slightly, pink and wet. His throat is sinewy and strong, shifts with the long inhale he draws. Jaskier blushes, thinking that this is not a king, this is a god, and he should be captured in paint and music, and yet, each medium trying to depict his splendour would undoubtedly be a shallow caricature of the true beauty that is before Jaskier. He is about ready to swear an oath of servitude, but his voice fails him.  

“Why do you kneel?” Filavandrel asks, breaking the spell with the bitter undertone of suspicion his words carry. “I am not your king.”

“Common courtesy,” Jaskier says and rises to his feet, dusting off his breeches. Filavandrel merely raises a brow, then goes back to staring out at the crashing waves of flowers below. Jaskier takes it as an unspoken invitation to remain, to join him in gazing out at the world. It feels so small, so far away from up here. With bated breath he waits for Filavandrel to say something, anything. Where usually, Jaskier would burst from having too many words, he finds himself coming up short. How does one breech this topic?

‘Yes, hello, I’ve been having terribly crushing dreams from your perspective for the past month. Do tell why, if you please.’

That’s no good.

So, Jaskier waits. And Filavandrel gathers his words and speaks, still so softly, as though he doesn’t want to disturb the peace of Dol Blathanna with crude human words. Falling from his lips, they sound like small caresses, but they still break the clandestine atmosphere.

“What did you do with the life I spared?”

Jaskier glances sideways, gazes at Filavandrel’s set profile for a breath before he answers the question. This is something he has endless words for. How he travelled with Geralt and gained renown for both witcher and bard, how he returned to Oxenfurt to teach and research, start writing papers, and comments, and reviews, and essays, how he’s been trying to appreciate perspectives other than his own and has not been brilliant at it.

“… but first and foremost,” Jaskier concludes on a small smile. “I’ve been pouring my heart into song.” This time, Filavandrel doesn’t hesitate with his answer and his hands clench into fists at his sides, something which Jaskier did not anticipate.

“Tell me then, little scholar,” the elf says. His voice is lightning that crackles under Jaskier’s skin. “Are all of them as deceitful as the one you wrote about our army? Or do you only lie when it caters to the ideology of the masses?”

“Nothing quite so political, I assure you. I sing what I want,” Jaskier replies. If Filavandrel would just look at him, he might be able to read what Jaskier feels. No hostility, no inclination to cause harm. Yes, Toss A Coin was a selfish piece of writing, meant to entice and enthral, embellishing the events in order for it to spread more quickly, but Filavandrel has to realize that it was never meant at the expense of the elves. It was drama, poetry, a story.

“I see.” Jaskier jerks around, half his body turning at Filavandrel’s tingling laugh. What in Melitele’s name?

“Beg pardon?” he asks and finally, Filavandrel meets his eyes. His are pure mirth, lip curled in mischief. He is so fucking divine that Jaskier’s mouth dries up.

“You are a creature of selfish lust, then?”

“Quite,” Jaskier says, grinning and bows his head. He was right about one thing at least, right in his hunch that in the presence of Filavandrel, he would be reduced to a bashful eighteen-year-old boy who is unable to tear his eyes off anything even remotely pretty. With Filavandrel, he thinks he’ll find anyone else lacking.

Filavandrel opens his mouth to say something else, but right then, a hiss cuts through their amusement and they both whirl around to find that they are no longer alone. Someone has joined them, a massive man with a silver medallion gleaming atop his breast. In each hand he holds a knife and his teeth are bared in a growl, his head bald. Two swords, strapped to his back, gleam in the sun.

Oh fuck.

A witcher.

And he doesn’t seem in the mood for talking.

Jaskier’s body takes over for him and he builds himself up between the approaching figure and Filavandrel.

“Stop right there,” he says and mentally pats himself on the back for how steady his voice comes out. The witcher halts, staring at Jaskier with his head cocked and his form blots out the low-hanging sun. Jaskier stands his ground, arms and legs wide, but his only weapon is his glare, the set of his mouth. Don't, he thinks. Don't. They don't stand a chance. Geralt already has the capability to crush Jaskier's neck in a strong grip if he so wishes, this man looks like he could lift a leg and flatten Jaskier to the earth with one precise step. Filavandrel wouldn't fare much better even if he had steel on him. They are doomed.

“I’m here to kill a king,” the witcher says and his voice rattles like a cart full of armour being pulled across a cobbled street. “Step aside, human, and your life will be spared.”

“I will not.”

The witcher musters him for another long minute, then shrugs. Tucking one of his knives under his beefy bicep, he shoots out his hand. A blast of air hits Jaskier and he’s thrown backward into Filavandrel. They’re not close enough to the edge that they fall off, but the blow forces them to the ground. Jaskier is quick to get into a crouching position before the fallen king, arms open wide once more. The witcher approaches, his glare punctuating Jaskier’s resolve. But no, he will die if he must, die if it means preserving that which he cherishes so.

“Bard,” Filavandrel says under his breath. “You’re being foolish.”

“No such thing,” Jaskier replies. The witcher stomps ever nearer, blades raised, but before he can attack, a whirring noise fills the air and a dagger buries itself in the witcher’s left eye socket, buries itself to the hilt.

“HNNN FUCK,” the witcher yowls and pulls the knife out, casting it aside. He stumbles about blindly, his hands pressed to his face and Jaskier jumps to his feet. This is about the only opportunity they will have if they want to come out of this alive. He hurries over to the witcher and shoves. There is no way a bard like him has enough power to topple over a giant like this, but the witcher is already off-kilter and he doesn’t expect the push. He barely catches himself, still howling through his pain and Jaskier follows the few steps he takes backward and in doing so, gets caught by the flailing arm of the witcher. He winces as pain breaks out across the side of his face, but he pushes again.

The witcher teeters where the hill falls away sharply, and Jaskier has no time to think about how he’d rather not be hurting this man. He gives one last determined shove and with a yelp, the witcher tumbles over the edge and rolls down the mountainside in a cacophony of crashes and dust, branches breaking and rocks rolling after him. His cries fill the valley until, with a suddenness that is jarring, they stop.

Jaskier squeezes his eyes shut, panting hard. Fuck. Fuck, he might have just killed a man and he doesn’t feel guilty one bit. He is here to protect Filavandrel, he understands that now. Understands that that’s what the dream was about. To protect Filavandrel and to be his advocate. It’s an unsettling certainty, one that only Destiny can have created. Jaskier sighs, thinks up a silent prayer for the fallen man and mentally apologizes to Geralt for hurting one of his kin.

“That was an impressive showing of determination,” Filavandrel says. Jaskier opens his eyes again and squares his shoulder. The elf has picked up his dagger and is cleaning it on his cloak which he has pulled off to reveal a simple set of faded blue linen clothes. He looks at Jaskier, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth and Jaskier bows low.

“My king,” he says.

“Come with me.” A hand on his arm that tugs lightly. Jaskier’s blinks, but lets himself be guided by Filavandrel. “I know somewhere were we will not be interrupted again.”

---

Filavandrel’s rooms – which section off from the ones Geralt and Jaskier were held in last time – are barely more than a hollow in the mountains, furnished with a narrow cod and few planks of wood that have been nailed to the stone opposite it. The elf has Jaskier sit down on the hard straw mattress, then disappears for a short time to retrieve a wet cloth. “Who was he?” Jaskier asks when Filavandrel returns and crouches before him so that they are on eye-level. His face aches properly now and he suspects that a plethora of bruises is already blooming on the side the witcher caught with his fist.

“You are the one who congregates with witchers,” Filavandrel replies. Jaskier huffs indignantly. “I only really know one of them and we don't congregate so much as keep company.” “Really?” Filavandrel raises a brow as he dabs Jaskier's jaw with the cool cloth. It soothes some of the sting and he sighs. “Does that shock you? Geralt wouldn't let me touch him with a fishing rod,” Jaskier laughs. It’s not true exactly, they have touched of course. It is inevitable when travelling together, but the kind of touch they’re referring to has been strictly off the table. “How very unreasonable,” Filavandrel laughs and brushes back Jaskier's hair to access his forehead. His hands are gentle, his smile shy and Jaskier finds himself blushing. This is another Filavandrel altogether. Not the rageful king that almost had him and Geralt executed, nor yet the solemn figure atop the hill. He’s sweet and teasing. Oh, dear. “Tell me, little scholar, do you want to touch him?” “Are you asking me if I want to fuck him or if I have feelings for him?”

“Both. Either. No matter.”

“Ah… well, I find myself tempted ever so often, but the feeling does not endure and any sexual draw I feel to him is not worth risking the friendship we share. Of course, his attractiveness stands in no comparison to your beauty.” “It is a non-human fetish then?” Filavandrel asks. He wipes Jaskier’s forehead one more time, then puts aside the cloth. “Brought that upon myself, didn't I?” They both laugh, Jaskier shaking his head, Filavandrel privately, behind his hands. Jaskier wants to pry it away, wants every bit of that laugh for his eyes and ears to feast on, a remnant of the bells of the elven towers of old, wants this beauty, but for once in his life, Jaskier practices restraint. He basks in another few seconds of shared delight, then catches Filavandrel's gaze again. “Who hired that witcher?” “Doesn't matter who hired him, there's always a price on my head,” Filavandrel grumbles and Jaskier could kick himself for killing the light chirping laughter, for turning this conversation back to a serious avenue. But he had to, didn’t he? Because a witcher almost killed them both and the dreams are still in the forefront of his mind. “Always a price.” With that, the elf gets up and starts to pace the small perimeter of his room. Jaskier watches every step. "You can share your pain with me,” he offers. "So you can fashion pretty rhymes from it? No thank you. I will pay you in gold,” Filavandrel snaps, eyes distant now. So very changeable, strange for one so old. But Jaskier supposes that Filavandrel lives in extraordinary circumstances. "Pay me?" he asks weakly.

“That’s what you came here for, isn’t it? More… of us. More of our artefacts, our names, our stories, our emotions. More for you to accessorize and capitalize on, more to feed your disgustingly human greed with. I gave you your life and your lute and you stayed away for how long? Nigh on two decades. What will it take for the next two?”

Both elf and human glance at the lute that is propped up in the corner upon Filavandrel mentioning it. The instrument has survived the scrap without harm, not even a speck of dust on it. Jaskier’s fingers itch for it, but he folds them in his lap. Two decades, yes, twenty years in which he’s had time aplenty to think. Churn over the events of those days when Geralt was but a stranger and Filavandrel an enemy, an outlandish creature sprung straight from Jaskier’s lecture notes. Now, Geralt is Jaskier’s oldest friend and Filavandrel is… a god descended. A god that has been battered and beaten, treated like a dog. Fuck, but Jaskier is not here to uphold the tradition of exploitation and near-to-kin-slaying. He is here because after traversing the maze of his thoughts and closing the covers on his books, Jaskier cares. He cares, he treasures, he worships, he loves. He loves so much. Jaskier looks up at Filavandrel until the elf can’t help but return the gaze. His eyes are wide, wild.

"Have you had dreams of late?"  Jaskier asks simply.

A breath. And then: "What do you know of it?”

"Let me paint a picture for you, golden one, then you can decide what I have come here for.”

Filavandrel considers him, inclines his head a fraction as if to listen for the backstabs Jaskier is trying to veil with his words. The cavernous halls are eerily silent and finally, Filavandrel gestures for Jaskier to speak. Jaskier clears his throat.

“It is like this: You open your eyes and you stand upon the very hill we just got attacked on, all by yourself. Before you, you see a firmament in bleeding reds and yellows into which the grey ink of the end days has been spilled. At your feet, a vast desolation, hundreds turned to dust, obliterated by your hands, and it still does not satisfy your hatred for the humans. You feel as though upon your shoulders, you carry the weight of all those who have come before you, all those who are yet to perish. Each step you may take, in whatever direction, feels like the last. There is thunder in the distance, but it is not of this world. It rumbles off-key, distorted and cacophonous, and you try to catch that sound in your own throat to guess at its origin. You can’t. There are cries of woe also, just beyond the next peak, and you are determined to absolve those souls of their agony. You begin to walk, are weighed down, your limbs burn and your knees tremble. No matter how badly you try to reach that place from whence the pain stems, you make no progress. Your back aches so much, so fucking much. All you want is to lay down your crown and die. The world may well splinter and vaporize around you and still, duty would bind you to remain and see your people safely through the gates of heaven. You feel alone. So very alone,” Jaskier concludes, the last words naught more than a whisper. Tears stream down him his cheeks.

"How?" Filavandrel sobs and claps a hand over his mouth.

"Trade secret."

"Who are you?"

"A friend.”

“And what do you want from me?”

“To share some of your burden as I have been sharing in your dreams. To save your people.”

“There is no salvation for us, little scholar, none at all,” Filavandrel says, voice trembling.

“Filavandrel of the edge of the world,” Jaskier says and stands up. “Filavandrel of the pain of the gods.” He takes a step towards the dumbstruck elf. “Filavandrel the kind-hearted and trustworthy.” Another step. “Filavandrel of the old tragedies.” A foot separates them and Jaskier reaches out to gently cup Filavandrel’s jaw. “Filavandrel of the dawn of a new age.” He brings up his other hand, cradling the elf-king’s face in his lute-worn hands as though it is a precious piece of china. Jaskier smiles softly and wipes at Filavandrel’s tears with his thumbs. “Just take your pick and I will write you into the stream of history,” he finishes. Filavandrel squeezes his eyes shut.

“You don’t have that kind of power,” he says. “You simply cannot change our fate.”

“I can make you beloved. Immortal.” Jaskier leans closer, ever closer, but he doesn’t dare break the barrier between them, not when Filavandrel looks so very pained. More so when he softly utters his next words.

“That is what you don’t get. What would I be but an exception to prove the rule? Even if you turned the tide of human hatred in my favour, they’d still murder my kin and I would stand alone because I had been dubbed friend-of-men. You would make my dream turn reality.” “I don’t-“

“I do not begrudge you the ambition,” Filavandrel cuts in and the sun of a chuckle breaks through the heavy tapestry of clouds over his face. He shakes his head as his eyes flutter open, and one hand comes up to wrap around Jaskier’s wrist where’s he’s still cupping the elf’s cheeks. “I was perhaps wrong to judge you by the standards of your species when the crime you have committed is a rather personal one.”

“And what crime is that?”

“That fetish we spoke of, of course. Though I cannot tell whether your infatuation is genuine or whether you are but a magpie.” Jaskier's mouth feels dry and his gaze drops to the pretty curve of Filavandrel's lips. He lets go of his face, touches one of Filavandrel's silken curls and wraps it around his pinkie as he holds the king's gaze. He can’t think of a retort to that, not even an earnest one. "Is this your wit's end, little scholar? Is this where words fail you?" "Kiss me," Jaskier replies in a surge of confidence. It's insanity, even with the weird carnival of feelings they've gone through today. Insanity. It's also the right thing to say, apparently. Filavandrel leans closer and kisses him softly, holding onto Jaskier's shoulders and Jaskier reaches for the elf's hips to steady himself. He inhales sharply when Filavandrel deepens their kiss. The poet in Jaskier hoped he would taste like flowers or honey or sunshine or anything worth putting in a ballad. The romantic in Jaskier rejoices in how perfectly sweet and slow their kiss is, how they both close their eyes and lose themselves in the simplicity of the connection. The realist in Jaskier – and he is very quiet and small – knows this is fragile. A moment suspended in time and bound to pass. After a while, Filavandrel pulls back, a small smile playing about his features and he traces Jaskier's reddened lips with his thumb. "I could be your consort," Jaskier blurts out. Filavandrel laughs and steals another kiss. "The valley isn't entirely safe at night so you may stay until the morning," he says and lets go. "And after that?" "After that you return to your books and your songs and your witcher." "And you?" "I will try to make sense of these dreams. I will find a way for my people to survive. And I will cherish the sentiments you offered, useless though they may be. Come now, little scholar, come to bed." 

[handsofdarkness]

After The The Aftermath – An Interview With Sharon Den Adel Of Within Temptation

Sharon Den Adel Talks About The Bands Recent Virtual Reality Show, New Album, Tours, And More

Dutch symphonic metal legends Within Temptation have been quite busy as of late. The band recently held an impressive virtual reality stream event, which was unlike anything we’ve seen before. Along with ‘The Aftermath – A Show In A Virtual Reality,’ the band has also released a brand new single, ‘Shed My Skin,” featuring German metalcore act, Annisokay. I caught up with frontwoman Sharon Den Adel, to talk about the recent stream, the new single, and what the band has planned in terms of a new album, and going on tour.

Thanks for speaking with me, Sharon. You’re coming off the release of your event, ‘The Aftermath, A Show In Virtual Reality’, which has been getting a lot of praise. How have you felt about the feedback you’ve been received?

A lot of fans seemed to have liked it. The technology is something new. It’s only the tip of the iceberg that we touched. And it looks a little bit like a game crossed with a music video. It being a show, it did not look as flashy as, say, some of our music videos. Which most people understood, but some didn’t. It’s a new technology after all .I was really happy to see that a lot of people did get the idea behind it, and how we made the show.

The show had to be postponed briefly, and during the filming, did you encounter many technical hurdles?

It was something that we were afraid of that might happen. That was also why the show was prerecorded because we didn’t want to have the show stopped halfway because the data might not have been managed. So that’s why we prerecorded it.

But we still had a lot of technical difficulties because we are pioneering here. After all, it’s a new program. Everybody does it in their own way, and it’s only been out recently. There’s only one other, a Dutch dance event, who did it the way we did as well. And because of so many multi-cameras and all this imagery that’s behind them to canalize the data, it’s a big process. And when something goes wrong, you have to start over again. So there are a lot of technical things that can go wrong, and it takes a lot of time to process.

Fans like to try and immerse themselves as much as they can into streamed content because live shows are something that we all missed, and we miss the feeling of being there. But how difficult is it as a performer to get some of those feelings when there’s no audience to feed off of, and you’re surrounded by green screens?

It’s difficult because you have to really imagine the audience there. But we did have the crew there trying to get me into that vibe, applauding and stuff like that. But it of course, it’s different. I also knew that I had to do it in a very short amount of time. We did it in one day, like the recordings of everyone and all band members.

So it was like, okay, you have one shot, and you better do it well, and immediately go into that vibe as if you are on stage. So you really have to use your imagination a little bit. But I was really happy that people would be watching this, and keeping that in mind is what got me through it.

Something the band is notorious for is performing with these elaborate stage setups, beautiful wardrobes, and stunning visuals. How important was the storytelling aspect of the show, and who came up with the idea of the post-apocalyptic theme?

Robert was really working on that, and I worked with it as well. We’ve seen so many doomsday kind of films over the years. These big, epic movies and stuff. So that was the inspiration, especially coming from a pandemic and talking about where is the world going, and how we living in it.

There was the inspiration from that. It’s something that’s an ongoing process. We also have the Silent Force album; we were inspired very much by that theme, especially because a lot of things were happening in the world at that time as well, as it is now.

How did you go about choosing a setlist for this show? Of course, there was new material, but did you select songs on storytelling aspects to match the overall apocalyptic theme?

Yes, that’s the case because we felt like if you’re telling a story, you need to find the right songs to back it up and give that atmosphere. It also helped that we’ve also had a lot of songs in the past touching this theme. I think it’s also nice for the ones who bought a tickets to see some older songs. Songs that we haven’t played for a long time, like for instance, ‘Forsaken’, which is really an old and golden song from the Silent Force album.

Fans were greeted with many surprises and big moments, but personally for you, what was your favorite moment from the show? And what song did you enjoy playing the most?

The song that registers for me is ‘Shed My Skin”. For the vocal nerd that I am, it’s nice to go from really high to really low. And it’s a real challenge for a singer. So I was really happy to put that song in the setlist.

And very well done too! It was great to see Tarja again; what was it like working with her and getting her to make an appearance for the event?

We always keep in contact with each other, and it’s always an easy connection to make with each other. And we’ve always worked really well with each other, and it’s always fun to work with her. She’s somebody who goes really for the music and is passionate about it. It’s really nice working with her, always.

I’ve always had contact with her throughout the year, and it’s always great, but this time it was not face-to-face. We had a camera crew go to Spain so she could be recorded there. She was very busy with a lot of other stuff as well. So that was the best way to record her live.

Speaking of collaborations, your most recent single, which we’ve talked about, ‘Shed My Skin,’ has a bit of a metalcore twist, and you appropriately collaborated with metalcore act, Annisokay for the song. How did the collaboration come about? And did you specifically write this song for the collaboration?

It’s more that we are always interested in bands who are new and who bring a new sound to the scene. This was a sound we’ve never noticed before. Not for Annisokay, but the metalcore scene was just something that we didn’t listen to much. So for us, it was kind of a new sound with a new vibe, and one of the bands that we like was Annisokay.

And we felt like, okay, let’s approach them and see if they are interested in doing a song with us. And we had already written it. Everything was finished, but they were able to do their own interpretation, but they stayed close to what we had written. It was really fun to work with them.

They are very talented guys, they are very melodic with their music and that’s something that we always like as well. Because we wanted to bring something heavy with the guitars and everything in the music, but we also wanted to bring out a lot of melodies, and that’s something that they do with metalcore.

So we wrote the music and thought it would be cool to approach a band that comes from that scene. And they were our favorites, so we called them and they were really cool and very down to earth and easy people to work with. So yeah, I was happy to meet them and work with them.

Do you enjoy working with other styles of metal and sub-genres, and do you think you’ll do more in the future?

We’ve always done that throughout the years. I think we’re a typical kind of band who likes orchestras and epic kinds of sounds. Throughout our career, we have worked with so many different people. Mina Caputo of Life of Agony, Papa Roach, and some Polish artists. It’s not always people that everybody knows. Sometimes it’s a singer-songwriter, sometimes it’s from totally different kinds of genres that people would not expect from us. But it’s just that some people you really admire or a style that you think is so beautiful that you want to integrate it into your own music. And we’ve always done that in our own way.

Do you plan on releasing any more new music this year, and when can we expect a new album?

We are planning to do maybe one more song this year if things turn out the way we want them to. And, hopefully, at the end of next year, we have a new album out, so we’re working hard trying to manage everything that we have in mind and trying to release new singles every few months. That’s a new idea that we want to try, releasing a new song every three or four months. And so far, we have managed to do that. We’ll see if we can keep it up. You also need to have the right inspiration, of course, to write new stuff.

Are there any shows that you’ll be playing during the festival season?

We’re going to Finland next week, so I’m looking forward to that stuff first, and it’s the only summer festival this year, unfortunately. We also have one in October, which is in the Netherlands, which is also a big festival. I’m looking forward to that as well. But I’m wondering if it will be able to take place because a lot of festivals in the Netherlands have been canceled because of COVID again, unfortunately.

Otherwise, it’s just the shows that we have with Evanescence on the ‘When Worlds Collide” tour, which starts in March and in April. We also have some Russian shows in February, but we have to see how this pandemic is going to go, and where it’s gonna go.

I was just about to bring up the ‘When Worlds Collide’ tour with Evanescence. Do you think that any time in the future we might see a North American tour as well?

I hope so. I think that it’s something that’s on our list, but we don’t know when we’re going to go, because we did have some things cooking, but then the whole pandemic started. We still have to catch up with all these tours that are planed. All the tours and the festivals that we have planed are going to continue and hopefully, after that will be, we will come your way.

We would love to have you guys here. We’re really excited for the upcoming single and the ‘When Wolrds Collide tour,” Which I think is going to happen because everything is opening back up. I just shot my first huge festival here. I travel all over, and there are festivals opening up all over here. So I think that we will be the world stage in seeing how things go in terms of these big festivals if they continue or get postponed due to COVID.

Yeah, I totally understand. And I would love to come to America again, it’s been a while!

We can’t wait to have you guys here, and thank you for speaking with me, Sharon, do you have anything else that you would like to add or say to the fans?

Thank for you the interview, it’s nice to give everyone an update on how were doing here in Europe, and we hope to come your way soon!

[abyssaldyke]

am i allowed to ask for all the questions in that post? 👀

I don't see why not! And also you're so sweet omg

As a disclaimer I did much less reading and a lot more writing than usual this year, which is a bad habit! Sometimes there are absorption periods and production periods; so it goes!

Describe your experience reading/writing this year in one word.

Transformative. I wrote in a lot of new ways and found a lot of tricks that work well for me!

How has this year and this specific point in time affected your reading/writing life?

Uh, well. The Ick kinda threw me into a creative spiral and I wrote a ton on unemployment, and even more now that I have some structure. Also it's a good time to write about antifascism.

Did you have a reading/writing goal this year? How did you do? What’s next year’s goal?

I wanted to read 35 books which I certainly did not do, though I did read quite a few. I also wanted to do a full Watch Party rewrite and write a draft of another idea, both of which were never finished. Next year I'd like to try for that 35 again, finish a first draft of Space 3: Tokyo Drift and a rewrite of Untitled Space Opera: the First One (now tentatively titled Space Trash). I'd also like to write a few short stories, particularly this post-apocalyptic museum thriller I've had kicking around for like 8 years.

What reading/writing achievement from this year are you proudest of?

Oh, dude, writing the first Space Opera. It was such a quick turnaround and yet I think it came out really fun and funny. Also, I'm proud of myself for recognizing that Watch Party probably won't ever turn into anything I'd want to pitch, but I loved writing it anyway. Nothing is wasted, right?

Did you manage to get out and do something literary in person? Think of seeing a play, going to a reading, visiting a bookshop, inspecting your friend’s bookshelf, taking a writing class, or anything else that feels meaningful to you.

Bookstores, absolutely. I wish I could've gone to more talks. Also pruning the bookshelves is always nice.

Did you re-read any books, and if so, how long ago did you originally read them? Did you read more new books or rereads (try to guess!) and why?

I've been skimming parts of Gideon and Harrow for a bit now; they're practically writing guides at this point because I love the way TM does mood.

Discover any new writers this year? Tell us about them!

I mean she isn’t new but Ursula K Le Guin. Also Merlin Sheldrake is pretty cool!

Did someone do something kind for you (buy you a book, write with you in a coffee shop, read your book review, leave a nice comment on your writing, etc.) this year? Thank them!

Ollie literally listened to me read aloud like every single day this year, for which I will never stop being grateful. Also, M’s comments on the first space opera are some of my fave pieces of commentary ever and I go back to them a lot. Having people read and listen to your work is very nice, turns out!

What do you hope to see in your and/or others’ writing in the future? Feel free to name trends, themes, ideas, inspirations…

More cannibalism, more gross shit, more gay shit! More nuanced portrayals of addiction oh my god. Everybody should be writing the stuff that gives them butterflies (except creeps).

Share a song you read/wrote a lot of words to this year!

Oh dude, Megan Thee Stallion’s Captain Hook. Also all of Montero (especially Sun Goes Down). And Kiss Me More.

How many books/projects are you in the middle of right now, and which do you hope to finish by the end of this year?

Fuckin’ NONE. NONE! Maybe I’ll do a little planning for Space 3 for the rest of the year but right now I have nothing! Literally the worst.

What book/project most surprised you this year? What book/project did you most enjoy reading/writing this year?

Space Opera in general; I’d never written scifi and it rose from a really rough creative time and went so well. I had a lot of fun and learned that genre fiction is and has probably always been my thing.

What book/project changed your worldview?

Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake. Mushrooms are unreal I love them.

What’s your favorite book of all time, and are you thinking of it differently this year?

My fave book of all time was at one point 1984 which... yeesh. The book I’ve enjoyed the most is John Dies at the End, though Gideon the Ninth is definitely up there. Mostly I’m just thinking of how art doesn’t have to be terribly serious to be good or affecting, you know?

Name a Book or Project of the year– this is different from all those questions above! Explain your criteria.

Space Opera 1: Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby. Easy to write, easy to read, funny and a lil sad.

What writing/reading lessons did you learn this year? What would you go back and tell yourself at the beginning of the year? What are you telling yourself now?

It’s okay to just leave it if it isn’t working. Even if you spent a lot of time on it. Sunk cost isn’t real. Grieve and be upset and everything and then do something else really cool! You’re literally 26, fucking chill.

Look back at your posts from the beginning of this year. What were you thinking about?

Man, probably the Locked Tomb and neo-noirs. Not much has changed!

Share a writing/reading memory from this year that sticks with you.

Ollie finishing One Good Turn! I’m so proud of them!

What will you be taking with you from this year into the next?

Hopefully some fuckin’ optimism and good advice. And perhaps I will take the bullying from my mother about querying to heart.

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 4-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

(I accidentally spoiled a major part for myself by browsing tumblr after the episode aired but before I watched it because I’m dumb)

I’m watching this on my TV and not my phone this time so I’m excited

Previously on… the show I’ve been obsessed with months before it released. As if I need reminding lol.

Friggin marvel opening gotta remind me of Tony snapping every episode

Interesting watching this on my flatscreen cuz the show is wide screen

Oh asgard!

Little Sylvie!

Oh my gosh that would be horrifying as a kid… she just got kidnapped pretty much

“Crimes against the sacred timeline” oh for cripes sake she’s just a kid!

Oh my gosh this would be terrifying

Oh is this when Renslayer was still a hunter

Clever girl!!! She escaped before even being sentencing

There’s a lot more to Renslayer I bet

TIME KEEPERS BABY

Space lizards finna meet the business end of a pruner

Mobius yay!!!!! I’ve missed him!

And what’s so bad with different branches?

Oh is that hunter locked up?

Oh nvm

That “how?” from Mobius is the closest thing we will get to hearing him say “wow” in this show and that makes me sad.

Dawn of the Final Day

Aha iconic promo scene!

Serious Loki moment?

“The universe wants to break free so it manifests chaos like me being born the goddess of mischief.”

I don’t believe C-20 is actually dead

Soooo does Loki not still have the tesseract? Or are we gonna get a silly clown Loki moment of “OHHHH I FORGOT I HAD THIS.”

“Do you think what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we’re destined to lose?”

“No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don’t die. We survive.”

Please don’t romance them

This is sweet and sad

Don’t kiss please don’t

What set them off? How did they find him?

He really should have an equal amount of security

Mobius shut up.

Bad friend? Oops

Uh oh

TELL HIM THE TRUTH LOKI DO IT

Oh? Asgard?

Uh oh

Lmao

Bully Sif

Ouch

Poor Loki

Ohhhhhh lmao time loop of being beaten up by Sif… ouchie

Cmon Loki fight back.

Or break her mind lol

Loki don’t fall for it— ahhhh ok

Ouchie

Controlling woman huh

Easiest to break huh? Shut up Ravonna

Titans? (Lmao please tell me they arrested a variant Thanos)

Vampires??? Hinting at a Blade reboot????

Hunter B-15 knows something is up

Oh my gosh Loki real moment confessing to Sif “because I’m scared of being alone.”

Genuine or??? Is she gonna throw him? Poor Loki…. “You are alone. And you always will be.”

Mobius you scumbag. That’s literally torture.

Mobius shut up

Mobius shut up. You don’t know the real Loki.

Oh so even they don’t know what caused it

Now Loki is lying just to avoid being hit by Sif

Oh no. He thinks she’s gone. Loki can’t lie very well when he’s sad.

No not swooning… please don’t ship them I beg you.

Not romance please stop no.

MOBIUS SHUT THE HELL UP

Please don’t make it romantic please please please please

SHES NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND PLEASE SHUT UP

YEA LOKI TELL HIM THE TRUTH

Maybe he had a family, a life… maybe… maybe a jetskii?

Mobius shut up.

Shut up about “girlfriend”

Yea Mobius. Let it stew. You’re a liar.

That Hunter B-15 is onto something.. OH YEA SHE WAS ENCHANTED FOR A BRIEF MOMENT TOO

SHE MUST BE REMEMBERING SOMETHING

Theremin. Nice.

Odd music choice for a date I gotta say.

How much older is Owen Wilson than Gugu Mbatha Raw? (Googling) Owen Wilson is 52… Gugu is 38

Mobius is onto something. But I’m still mad at him.

“What we do here matters.” Doubt

Friendzoned

What trophy?

Oh the sword

SNEAKY MOBIUS SWITCHING THE REMOTES NYAHAHAHA

He’s not the best liar tho

For all time. Always. Doubt

She knows he’s lying.

Hunter B-15 interrogating Sylvie at Roxxcart

Yea Sylvie tell her!

FRIENDS? Please?

Oh my gosh poor Hunter B-15…

Hug?

Team up?

Yay???

Damn C-20 really is dead?

Funny with all that technology but that video looks like my old handheld game from like 2010 that I bought from Walmart.

Mobius having an existential crisis. Good.

Please stop hinting at a romance between them…

Friends yay!

Renslayer you scum…

Uh oh

Maybe he had a Jet Skii!

NO

NO

LOKI JUST LOST ANOTHER FRIEND

Renslayer I will revel in your demise

“But she’s just doing her job.” Shut up. She saw what Hunter C-20 said…

Loki is crying again… he just made another friend and he’s gun… HE NEEDS TO COME BACK. If Mobius is gone forever I will never forgive the TVA.

Awww she asked if he’s okay… I’m still praying only friends. Please nothing more.

What was the event? Come on Renslayer. You remember you crap hole.

Oh my. Time keepers??? Aha this IS where the stairs on the wall and a fight breaks out.

Lmao that one time keeper sounds like a dopey dog from a cartoon.

YEA HUNTER B-15 I LOVE YOU

Oh that’s how Loki gets that cut

Now he has a sword babyyyy

Renslayer I hate you

Loki help her!

Oh nvm she’s good

Child of the time keepers?

I KNEW IT

JUST ROBOT PUPPETS!!! ITS ALL A TRICK

So… who’s really in control???

Seeing Loki in this blue light… cmon give me Jötunn Loki.

Where’s hunter b-15?

Don’t confess love pease I beg you

Please please please don’t romance them. For all that is good in this world.

Oh gosh

Hug?

Please just hug

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHAT????

PRUNE HER DO IT

Loki?????

What???? NOOOOO

HE CANT BE GONE!!! We still haven’t gotten that scene where he has the flaming sword!!!!!!!! Pruning HAS to not kill them please!!!!!!!!!

Dammit I KNEW something would happen. They had their backs turned to them and it was too quiet.

LOKI BETTER NOT BE GONE I SWEAR TO GOD MY HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH AGGHHHHHHHHH

I’ve seen him die too many damn times agahahshehhdheiebdusienenridiehehejd

And now the credit song has love in it

I really really hope they don’t have some sort of self-cest between Loki and Sylvie…

POST CREDIT SCENE WHAT????

LOKI YES

OH MY GOSH THANK GOD HES ALIVE

Oh

My

Gosh

MY JAW JUST DROPPED

ALL THE OTHER LOKIS

SO WHAT THE HELL DOES PRUNING DO?????

WE GOT KID LOKI, BLACK LOKI, OLD COMIC LOKI, AND EVEN A FRIGGIN CROCODILE LOKI LIKE WHAT???????

And what is black loki (I feel bad for calling him just that but I don’t know his name DX) holding? And what is old comic Loki holding?

What is this place that looks apocalyptic??? Why are they all here?

WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE YET AGGHHHHHHHHH

SO IS MOBIUS STILL ALIVE THEN????

IS EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN PRUNED STILL ALIVE?

Is each pruned person sent to a place with all the other variants of themselves???

I HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS

NO WONDER TOM HIDDLESTON SAID POOR LOKI IN THESE EPISODES

My biggest concerns now are: how on earth are they going to wrap this up in only two more episodes? And PLEASE DONT ROMANCE SYLVIE AND LOKI!!! I mean, I get it… if Loki should fall in love who better than his parallel. She’s different enough from him to have it not be too weird I guess, but it’s still a variant version of him. And it seems a little too forced. Like sure a crush maybe, but don’t you dare say love when they’ve only known each other for like a couple days.

My mind is melting. I’m so glad I waited to watch this in the morning instead of at night so I could appreciate it in all its glory.

BUT NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGGHHHHHHH

Oh and is Hunter B-15 okay? We saw her get knocked down but that was it. She didn’t appear in the rest of the fight.

AND WHO MADE THE TIME KEEPERS????

IS IT KANG? IS IT…… MEPHISTO??? WHOOOOOOOOOOOO?????

Gonna go browse tumblr to cry and reblog gifs from the episode to help me cope until next week.

[number5theboy]

Favorite song montages/music scenes?

Oooohhhhh, love this. Because I’m on a roll, I made this another list, a top ten one, just so I don’t go overboard. I really looked at this as the scenes as a whole, rather than me liking the song or the scene individually. There are songs from the soundtrack that I love way more than some on this list, but didn’t think that they worked as well with the scene they’re in as the ones that did make the list. Without further ado:

10. I’m a Man (S2E2) - Diego & Reginald Fight

I just like how the aesthetics of this fight and the vibes of the song play perfectly together. It’s a more laid-back song than most fight scenes we get, and the line ‘I’m a man, yes I am, and I can’t help but love you so’ played over Reginald, who is demonstrably not a man and definitely doesn’t love Diego gives it such an almost sarcastic tone, like Reginald is toying with Diego.

9. Exit Music (For a Film) (S1E7) / All Die Young (S1E9) / Hello (S2E5) - Group Montages of Sadness and Change

I couldn’t decide between these three, because they all basically fulfill the same function in the narrative, showcasing different characters at low or turning points, and the mood of each song just hits perfectly. The way ‘Exit Music’ ramps up to Vanya’s guilt over killing and the confirmation that Leonard is Harold Jenkins. How ‘All Die Young’ is upbeat yet melancholic as nobody but Vanya truly is at their lowest at that moment, but you feel the arrow being drawn to the inevitable conclusion to this whole mess. And ‘Hello’ hit so much harder than it had any right to, it have the Swedes some dimension, but also the interplay of music with the funeral and the siblings’ big decisions, Vanya trying to confess to Sissy, Klaus going back to his cult, Allison telling Ray the truth, Diego and Luther burying the hatchet. It’s the perfect mood for it all, and the idea to use a Swedish cover is absolutely brilliant by the music department.

8. Soul Kitchen (S1E6) - Klaus & Dave in Vietnam

The Doors and Vietnam of course perfectly fits, but using the Doors to soundtrack a gay Vietnam romance??? Awesome. I’m usually someone with an ear for lyrics rather than the music, because I just know more about it, so I like it when the lyrics match up, but in this case, I don’t know any of the lyrics. I just like the mood the music creates. It’s a club in Vietnam and they’re not dancing to a club song. I like the rift between image and sound, and the sound still creates such a charged yet comfortable atmosphere.

7. In the Heat of the Moment (S1E5) - Five’s life in the apocalypse through the years 

The fact that Noel Gallagher’s snooty singing and borderline meaningless lyrics fit this scene so perfectly is a minor miracle, but they do. The na na na nas coming in with the image after the counting in before the song quiets down just to soar again over Five’s struggles. And it’s also not a song that sounds strong, that is technically perfect, it never quite reaches grandeur, and I don’t know why the atmosphere it creates goes so hand in hand with decades in an apocalyptic wasteland. And the irony of a song about having someone by your side over excruciating loneliness. Also the lyric ‘you better learn to fly ‘cause they’re gonna point you up at sky’ objectively goes harder than Noel Gallagher lyrics should.

6. Stormy Weather (S1E8) - Allison drives through the rain to find Vanya, haunted by her past actions and flashes back to when she rumoured her daughter

It’s just the perfect soundtrack to Allison’s backstory with her powers, and the fact that it’s sung by Emmy Raver-Lampman herself adds a dimension to it. The entire scene is centered around her voice, you hear her past rumours, you see her tell a story to Claire, then rumour her, and she is singing in the background. It intertwines scene and soundtrack on another level, and I love it. The combination of the sad lyrics but the more upbeat instrumentation, and how they carry into her memory........so good.

5. Shingaling (S1E4) / Pepper (S2E8) - Drug Trip Scenes

TUA has two scenes where people are tripping on drugs, and I cannot choose which one I like more. The mood for weed chocolate vs the consciousness-warping FBI drugs is so drastically different but the song choices are so perfect for both. Hazel and Cha-Cha dancing high off their asses to Shingaling, which is a chill but fun song as they commit arson, coupled with that green colouring and fun shot set-ups. Truly exquisite. Vanya getting nightmare visions in the FBI building, with the weird, disconcerting energy and lyrics of Pepper blasting, and the second-best use of scene switch at the drop that this show has pulled off this far. Stupendous.

4. Run Boy Run (S1E2) / Never Tear Us Apart (S1E2) - Five pushes his powers and lands himself in the apocalypse, where he finds his siblings’ bodies

These scenes are SO good. So good, and it’s because the music is the driving force of the emotion in that moment. Run Boy Run has exuberant energy to underline Five’s excitement as he’s testing out his powers, but it’s also somber and dark and swells at the chorus, which leads to the best scene-switch at a song’s drop in the show. The moment where Five lands in the apocalypse as the chorus becomes grand and he looks around, panicked, and when he runs frantically back to the Academy with the claps and percussion in the background? I get chills every time, and the lyrics make it, I think, the definite Five song as it pertains to his character, his characterisation, his arc, as running, in many different interpretations, is one of the key themes to Five for the entire show. The relatively short scenes really hammers in the tragedy of Five being ripped from his home at such a young age, and it gets underlined with Never Tear Us Apart. I put it with Run Boy Run because they fit together, but Never Tear Us Apart is heart-wrenching in itself. Just the imagine of Five searching through the rubble for his siblings, his small frame stumbling through the ruins, with Paloma Faith giving it her all in the soundtrack, and this heavy bass really banging us over the head with the heaviness of the situation. It’s great and sad and both scenes are carried as much by the soundtrack as they are though Aidan Gallagher’s acting.

3. The Phantom of the Opera Medley (S1E1) / I Think We’re Alone Now (S1E1) / Sister of Pearl (S2E7) - Character-establishing Montages

I am a sucker for this trope, of characters being characterised through a song playing, and TUA pulls it off so well. Phantom of the Opera shows you what the siblings do and where they are at in their lives perfectly, telling you so much with so little. It’s a great introduction and using the Phantom of the Opera, with the idea of Vanya being the phantom, the mysterious musician constantly belittled and underestimated (this is generalised, very much so, but it fits) that lashes out at some point because of the abuse they suffered, is genius also because it combines different themes that you can set the Hargreeves to. I Think We’re Alone Now is about personalities, of who these siblings are if nobody’s watching. I don’t think I need to sing its praises, the scene has become iconic for a reason, it’s memorable and creative. And the music choice, a pop song that they could have listened in their youth, with lyrics that are eerily prophetic, is so good. And Sister of Pearl is the long-awaited addition that introduces Ben’s character, and the music is sweet and fun and him messing around in the world, all giddy and a little goofy, fits with the whole theme of dancing like no one is watching. All three are so amazing at characterising the different Hargreeves.

2. Istanbul (Not Constantinople) (S1E1) - Five fights the Commission agents at Griddy’s

Okay, but what is better than a musical sequence that characterises a sibling? A musical sequence that characterises a sibling that’s also a fight scene! I’m not going to be long about this one, because I wrote 500 words on why I think Istanbul (Not Constantinople) is a brilliant scene just yesterday, you can find it here if you scroll for a bit. It hits so many sweet spots. It re-contextualises Five and adds several dimensions to him. The fight scene is brutal but the music is happy and fun. The song is thematically relevant to the scene and the character and what this scene is trying to accomplish, namely making clear that this kid, who looks like he did at age 13, is not the same as he was, and never will be. Again, go to that other post, I couldn’t stop gushing about how excellent this sequence is, because I really love it, but Season 2 brought along another that I love even more.

1. The Order of Death (S2E6) - Five arrives at the address Reginald sent them, and watches on as his siblings slowly join him one after one

I genuinely don’t know why this one resonated with me so much. I just like the cold but melodic 80s synth together with the cinematography. Every single shot is so good, Five looking up at the looming skyscraper, him climbing the stairs, pushing the button with the use of negative space to show his loneliness, until he gets into the elevator where his siblings come to him. And the music is so fitting, for the scene, but also for Five as a character, it’s a song that works well for him. The rhythmic thumping of ‘this is what you want, this is what you get, this is what you want, this is what you get’ is so dark at second viewing, because this is what Five wants: to talk to Reginald, with the support of his siblings. And what is it he gets? What is the consequence of his actions? His existence gets wiped from history. The music is tense, in anticipation of what comes next, and fits perfectly over these wide establishing shots and their harsh lighting. I can’t pinpoint why I like The Order of Death more than any other musical sequence in the show, but I do. It is such a small, yet perfectly executed scene, and it hits some emotion within me, even though I can’t really articulate which one it is. Intrigue, probably, mixed with dread and a hint of sadness because now I know how this enterprise ends, and it’s not well.