#“after all the shite we went through to get this far?!!!??!?? Really???!?!”
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@enbysiriusblack I bet you’d make a fabulous cowboy 🤠🥳!
@professional-termite me too, exactly the same!!! (or just write books in general, which is also something I still want to do!) yesterday I found a cute card from my aunt saying that being an illustrator or a writer would be “lovely jobs, that you’d be well suited to, because you have potential”
I was 7 years old 🥺🥰
She took my interests so seriously 😭❤️
In the meantime - Day job:
Tagging @squintclover @therealrjlupin @mollymarymarie @artemisia-black @ashes-and-ashes @breathing-and-stuff @siriuslychessi @impishtubist @imsiriuslyreading @greyeyedmonster-18 and anyone who wants to hop in here like I did!!
if we lived in a world where u had to do the career u were first interested in as a child what would u be doing, id be a firefighter
#“after all the shite we went through to get this far?!!!??!?? Really???!?!”#yeah I know#wipe that smirk off your face doc#what are the chances#but stiiiiiiiiiiill#I DON’T CARE!#I mean I wouldn’t have met MrB if I hadn’t done the day job#but but but#🤷♀️😂#teeny me had the right idea!#I’m not saying I dislike you day job but I AM saying you are the biggest pain in the arse because it’s so poorly resourced!#beloved mutuals <33#tag game#she was incredible#best auntie in the world ever#my granny in the meantime “’you said you’d consider becoming a vet!!! why didn’t you?’#eh cause I thought that humans -#no! who cares about humans I need a vet for my animals!!! what about my cats and dog and hens and rabbits????
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🐺House of Alphas🐺
~Chapter 44 sneak peak ~
(Jujutsu Kaisen Omegaverse )
Summary: Waking up in a world that was not your own was problematic enough. Being the villainess was another. However, the possessive alphas might take the cake.
Disclaimer: Angsty but I ain’t Gege
Omega!Reader x Alpha!Sukuna x Alpha!Gojo x Alpha!Toji x Alpha!Nanami x Alpha!Getou
Chapter 44: Missing Link
~
...
Nanami had said something about you having to let your omega instincts take over so your body could adjust properly. You remember that. You remember reaching that threshold and then crossing it without much of a fight. It was quite nice, and you think it's getting easier and easier to get to that point. An obvious sign that your comfort with them was growing. You didn't feel as scared as before. Still scared- but it's getting better. The only puzzling thing is you don't remember how you got into your tent.
Much like last time.
Everything was going well, you were drowning in pleasure, and then poof you woke up in your tent. It was so weird. Perhaps you just passed out from cumming so much and all the cum you had... from Toji… Nanami...Getou and Gojo-oh- you must have been exhausted... You wondered when you threw in the towel because you were really on a roll. You couldn't believe how you sucked the life out of Nanami and Toji as greedy as you did, it made your face hot thinking about it. The way they panted above you unable to take their gazes off of you was something that graced your mind. And who could forget being fucked by Gojo and Getou- remembering both of their knots in you made your tummy flip and your thighs clench.
You squealed some more as you kicked your feet. It was all so good. It felt almost like a feverish dream...that you just woke up from...the ending seemingly unwritten. Maybe your alphas could help you fill in the blanks.
Did Sukuna get his turn? You don't remember that part. You told him he was next but did that actually occur?
You scootch up to open your tent- "Eek-" You slam a hand upon your mouth as a surprise gasp leaves your lips.
SPEAK OF THE FUCKING HEATHEN-
Sukuna was right outside your tent sitting with his legs crossed, arms folded and his head leaned down a bit. His eyes were closed, a soft snore reaching your ears letting you know he was in fact fast asleep.
Your eye twitched as you surveyed the quiet camp. Toji and Gojo's tents were opened meaning they were prowling the area but as far as inside the camp Sukuna was the only one out.
Why the hell was he sitting in front of your tent? Did this have something to do with your passing out? He must have been feeling left out since you took care of everyone else but him- as far as you could recall. Oh boy- you were probably in for one fabulous time with the fiend. However, before you wake up this beast you want to check on Junpei.
Slowly you began to crawl out of your tent ever so quietly, eyeing the alpha as you went centimeter by centimeter. Sneak mission activated- *Crack* You snap your gaze down looking at the twig that your hand just crushed. Then you looked back up to see red eyes glaring at you.
Holy Tengen you didn't even last a second into this sneak mission- immediate fail! Stealth skill was clearly dog shite.
"You-"
"Ai-!" You threw yourself back into your comfort as Sukuna growled.
"Get back out here!" he leaned closer, a breath away from entering your nest. Lips quivering as he snarled at you. A hungry beast through and through.
"G-Good evening-f-fine evening- wonderful weather we are having my alpha-"
"Don't give me that bullshit you knot tease, you left me!"
"I-I don't even remember what happened!"
“You’re lying!”
“I’m not!”
Sukuna smacked his teeth as he averted his gaze, "You can't be serious..."
"Um...I'm very serious... I don't remember anything after you know...like Nanami and Toji..."
"..." Sukuna took a deep breath as he shook his head.
You sat up a bit so you were a little closer to the alpha, trying to show him you meant no harm. Your orbs displayed your curiosity about what happened. You truly wanted to know why your mind went dark. It was kind of scary.
Sukuna looked at you with lowered lids this time, it seemed as if he were searching for something. "You're just saying that now."
Ah, he’s looking for deceit. Well lucky for you, you aren’t telling a tale.
"What? I'm not tricking you- like I really don't know what happened!"
...
~
*Read More*
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsukaisen#fanfiction#sukuna#smutwarning#gojo#getou#readerxvarious#gojo x reader#gojo saturo#gojou satoru x reader#geto suguru#suguru geto#gojo satoru#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#ryoumensukuna#toji x you#toji x reader#nanami smut#nanami kento#toji fushiguro#toji smut#reader x gojo#reader x various#reader insert#nanami x reader#reverseharem#sexualthemes
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Run and Hide
🩸Previous Parts Here🩸
Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)
Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, past abuse, cursing, recent murder, feds being awful, boys in trouble, labor pains, improper use of hand sanitizer, giving birth, slightly graphic descriptions of birth and after birth, improper tools for the job, secrets coming out, hurt/comfort, Dom putting his foot in his mouth, Dom being a momentary idiot, past miscarriage, scared boys, baby fear (just for a moment), naughty thoughts in the wrong situation, baby worship, cliffhanger, enemies to lovers 💣 Rating: mature
All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤
The Alpha couldn't answer at first, his mind was racing with too many thoughts. He needed to get The Doctor back, he needed to get his lover out, he needed to get him comfortable, he needed- “You should ask ya mum. I left to follow ‘er because we found out she'd been taking money from the business.” He explained simply. That shouldn't be too overwhelming and he hoped it would get the subject dropped. He walked back over to the door and noticed Doc fighting with someone in a uniform. She was obviously out. Fuck.
He didn't attempt to open the door, there were too many guns trained on him so instead he thought he'd take his mate to their flat. The moment he reached the other man to pick him up the power around them went out and the overhead lights switched from their normal to the back up emergency red. “What the fuck!” Colson growled out, his body tense with contractions. He did not want to have his baby crouched in the fucking lobby next to two dead bodies! “They're all fucking dead! Right? You killed them!”
“Course. Probably jus’ don't know. ‘Ang on luv.” He soothed but the glare he got for it was withering.
“To what? You want me to push Punk’s head back up? Want me to vacuum the little brat? I'm tight Dom but I'm not fucking- fuck! Magic!” The pains were coming faster, barely any time between them and the omega wanted to scream. Of course this would be his luck. Was he really about to be outed on national news?
Dom scoffed before trying to swallow the pit in his throat and he pulled his phone free of his pocket. He dialed Tom’s number and was thankful as hell when the other man answered. “Dom! Fuck- What's happening inside?”
“Inside? Fuck tha’! Wha's 'appening outside? Power went out. I need Doc! I need to get Cols out!”
“Don't! The head guy doesn't know who's who inside. They said even if everyone is dead they can't allow anymore in or out until they send SWAT to clear the whole place and disarm the bombs.” Tom's voice was worried and obviously annoyed with the people in control of the situation.
“Well send ‘em the fuck in! We about to ‘ave a baby in ‘ere. Do ‘ey give a fuck?”
The omega on the other end sighed, Dom could feel his fear and anger. It was sweet honestly, he knew the man wanted to be with them to support his new brother. “I think there's someone higher up trying to use this to their advantage. I've heard whispers about checking our flat for evidence. You have to remember who Kells is to them. Do you want me to explain the emergency?” They both knew the gravity of doing so. To explain the coming child they would be outing Colson as an omega. The leader of one of the biggest crime families in America. Shite.
“No. Fuck. I can do ‘is.” Dom took a deep breath and looked back at his mate. He would do anything to protect him. “So it ain't obvious yet?” His gaze flicked out over the scene outside, over all the crowd gathered and the news crews.
“Not yet. He's too far inside. It's being speculated he was hurt. Can you get him behind the counter?”
“Yeah. I got ‘is.” The Alpha wasn't sure if he did in fact have it but he had to act in control to keep his lover calm. He was confident his best friend was about to agree with him but the line went dead and he heard a funny noise through his phone. When he pulled it away and looked at the screen he realized he suddenly had zero bars. The fuckers were using a jammer? They were going to be completely cut off in a sea of probably thousands paying attention to them. The juxtaposition made him dizzy.
He took one last calming deep breath before turning to set to work. He started by ripping the cushions off the nearby chairs to lay behind the counter in a half arsed nest attempt. When he heard a sound besides his lover's groans he pulled the gun from his waistband and turned to aim but the barrel ended up pointed at Blain and he dropped it automatically. “Why the fuck ain't you outside wiv the Doc?” The Alpha growled, he already had a mate and child in this mess, he didn't need the other one caught inside with the explosives.
“I were making sure everyone died, fanks. Tryna help, not tha’ you deserve it.” The boy was obviously overwhelmed and still terrified and Dom instantly felt awful for snapping. He paused his work to give the kid a quick hug.
“Fanks for tha’. You did good. Can ya ‘elp wiv ‘is? Go find me clean blankets and towels alright?” He was honestly deep down happy to have the young omega with them, he wasn't alone in taking care of Colson.
Blain ran off to do as he was asked and Dom got busy again until his mate asked him a follow up to his earlier query. “So mom got money, why is that bad? It's her company too. She can take what she wants. Why the hell would you follow her for it?” Dom was surprised at how scary the man was even crouching on the floor in pain. His growling voice urged the Alpha to submit.
“Because it were a crazy amount. The boys was worried so I jus’... Figured I'd check. She were sending money to the ‘ospital.” He hoped that would be enough to satisfy his lover's wondering but of course not. It could never be so easy.
“And? She loves that place. She's been obsessed with it since Travis died. She spends a lot of time there. I'm glad she has something to keep- fuck! To keep b- busy.” The omega tried to keep his mind on other things than the feeling of his body ripping apart from asshole to dick. It was madness that anyone would do this shit more than once. Could anything be worth it?
Dom couldn't stop himself from snorting a laugh. “Course she was.” He grumbled and startled when the emergency phone on the wall rang. They shared a look but he answered it and almost cheered aloud when he heard Mod on the other end.
“They don't know about this one. It's running on the backup. How's it going in there?” The beta asked.
“Oh ya know, jus’ about to ‘ave a baby. You?” He knew he shouldn't be glib but he couldn't help it. The whole ordeal was absolutely mental. He was sure if everything went smoothly they'd laugh about it one day but he was pissed that the government was risking his family.
“Probably worse actually. You should be glad you're stuck in there. Collette showed up.” That one sentence told Dom all he needed to know but Mod still held the phone in the direction of raised voices. He could hear Tim shouting and he wondered why he sounded so affected by the situation he knew was playing out. He sounded more heartbroken than anything.
“You doing alright?” He paused to ask, he cared about the beta and he knew this might upset him. He could on occasion show he had something resembling heart.
“I'm just scared for Cols.”
“Me too. But one fing at a time.”
“He doesn't know?”
“Can't tell ‘im yet. Baby first.”
“I fucking heard that asshole!” Kells cursed from his spot on the floor and Dom huffed, putting the phone on speaker as Blain came back with blankets. They set about to get the nest more comfortable before he moved to pick up his lover and carry him to the more hidden and comfortable spot. He could scent the pain rolling off his mate and it broke his heart. He wished he could take it all away. “Mod?” The man's voice went soft when he realized he could hear his best friend.
“Hey brother, sounds like you're having fun.” The beta teased.
“Oh fuck you, it's the worst. I'm never doing this shit again! Don't you dare fucking knock up Tom. I'll cut your dick off for him.” He could hear the other omega laughing and he flushed. He hadn't realized they were on speaker as well.
“Where did you get the idea we'd even-”
“Oi come off it bruv, we ain't tha’ daft.” Dom rolled his eyes.
“Actually you'd be surprised. Guess who's door I found out swung both ways and I never fucking noticed?” Col knew it wasn't the right time but he couldn't help needing to gossip with his partner. Dom was always the first person he told everything to.
Dom arched a brow as pieces started falling in place, the puzzle that was taking shape almost made him laugh. No wonder Tim was shouting before. He was honestly surprised they couldn't still hear him. “Who?” He went ahead and let his man tell him, he knew how much fun it was for him. Even when he knew the news already or Colson had already told him he let him say it again.
“Travis! Him, Tim, and mom were all together. Although I guess Tim was more fruity than Trav cause-” Col was cut off by a few cleared throats on the other side of the phone and he blushed. Oops. He'd forgotten they were on the phone and on speaker on top of that.
“I'm not sure about fruity but I'm not the one with a closet Barbie threw up in.” The older beta teased and the omega wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out.
“Got a point. Luv, time to strip.” Dom’s tone took on something more no-nonsense. They could play fuss all they wanted to distract the man but someone had to get the baby out safely.
Colson’s eyes went wide as he looked around, they were thankfully hidden from the windows but he still felt exposed. He was tempted to ask his lover to carry him up to their apartment but he knew better. He'd end up giving birth on the damn stairwell. Dom didn't give him time to worry, he just pulled Col’s messy shoes off and started tugging his pants and underwear down. Everything was probably ruined and it pissed him off but at least it wasn't his normal clothes. He'd already decided he wasn't having more kids, he could stand to lose the pregnancy pants. The shoes however…
“Bloody ‘ell!” The young omega cursed when he got an accidental look between Col’s thighs. The Alpha gave him a chiding look but turned a bit pale when he looked.
“You both get off on ripping people apart but this is too much? Fuck you!” He could feel tears burning his eyes but he fought them back. He knew logically he'd balk at the sight so he couldn't blame them. He was just glad he couldn't see.
“No luv, it's beautiful!” The killer tried to fix it but his voice broke like the teenager he actually was and multiple people snorted at his lie. Those on the phone couldn't see thankfully but they could imagine. “‘Ey, Colson- it's our baby coming, yeah you a mess but you beautiful. Don't listen to ‘em.”
When the Alpha pressed his forehead to Col’s and tried to breathe with him it soothed something in the man's chest. So what his pussy was a wreck? “Not like you ever get to use it again.” He huffed through grit teeth. His contractions were constant and the burn was insane. He was sure he was being roasted over an open flame. He wanted to make a joke about nuts and fires but he wasn't sure anyone would understand.
“Baby? Can you hear me?” Collette’s soft voice was music to his ears and a sob broke free as Dom gave him space and handed him the phone.
“Mom? I need you.” Both boys gave him a soft look and he thought he saw their eyes wet too but all he could focus on was her and the pain rushing through him.
“No you don't. You have your family and I'm here but you can do this. You don't need me and you don't need Doc. Your body knows what to do. Listen to it.” She kept her voice even and sweet and it loosened something tight and dark in his chest. He hadn't realized how young and small and helpless Megan had made him feel but she had broken something inside him when he had to agree with her. He could still feel her cut searing but it was all blending together. He just hoped he didn't get rabies from her shank ass.
“Why the fuck would you say that? The last time I listened to my stupid body I let an idiot Alpha knock me up!” He cried back and Dom gave him a blinding smile. Psycho bitch. He was adorable.
“Are you trying to tell me that's not the first good decision of your life?” She huffed.
“Fanks mum.” The Alpha smiled brighter, of course she would be sucking up to him though but he was so messed up and terrified deep down he'd take what he could get.
“Yeah, thanks. Trying to make him cockier? I can promise you he doesn't need the damn h-help- shit!” Another cramp locked his body up and he suddenly didn't feel he was in the right position. He could feel Punk moving inside him and laying down felt wrong.
He handed the phone to Blain who moved to his side and Dom held him steady as he rolled to all fours before kneeling on the cushions and spreading his legs wide. He gripped the edge of the counter to hold himself up and his mate frog crouched behind him, his strong hands rubbing kinks out of his lower spine but the relief was distant.
“See? Just listen to your body. You know what to do.” Collette hummed and he arched a brow, looking around for hidden cameras or a peep hole somewhere. It turned out she just knew his ass that well and he hoped he could end up half the mother she was.
“Hey bitches! Hey Batman, can you tell me how dilated Col is?” The Doctor spoke up and Dom blinked a moment before realizing he was Batman.
“Batman? Fuck that. Absolutely not. He doesn't get to play hero. He's Dexter for fucks sake!” Colson complained and the Alpha had to agree.
“You can tell me that again after you're not hating him for the baby. Now Dom, I need you to put your fingers together and try to fit them inside him. Tell me how many go easy.”
“Sounds like most our nights but alright.” The killer teased and got a laugh from his mate.
It was taking Dom too long to make a move and Kells started getting nervous. He heard a zip and a strange noise and he looked in time to see the fucker holding a lighter under his fingers. “Holy shit! There's alcohol right the fuck there!” Col’s voice went high and the Alpha shrugged but moved to find the sanitizer his lover noted. After cleaning his hands he shook them dry and slid his touch where he was supposed to. “Of all the psycho shit-” His complaint was cut off as Dom pulled free, the way the other man acted told Col he was in more shock than he was trying to let on. More than anything he wanted them to hold each other and connect but they'd have to wait. He just looked forward to the entire mess being over. There was too much happening all at once.
“Four.” The boy explained, sucking his fingers clean but he'd already forgotten about the sanitizer and he made a face. That was alright, he could lick his lover clean after the birth.
“Damnit. It looks like this is happening without the rest of us. Col? Like your mom said you can do this. Listen to yourself and that baby, let them help. You'll be fine.” The Doctor soothed but the omega had a hard time believing it. He'd spent his life denying and hating what he was and hiding it with anything that worked. Hell, he'd entered the hotel with a jacket covering his belly and his glasses still on. He took blockers for the first week of his pregnancy and he'd been fighting himself and lying every step of the way. How could he listen to his body now? How would it know what to do? He'd been faking Alpha so long it was hard to believe there was any omega left.
“You can do this mumma. We got you.” Blain spoke softly but surely and he reached out a hand to lay over one of Colson's. He'd said the word before as a joke but he sounded so serious now. “They wiv us too. Watching over yas. Ya dad and ya baby.”
Kells didn't know if he believed in an afterlife, he liked the thought of his enemies burning in hell but the rest of it sounded so far-fetched. Besides if Satan was real he was already a devil on Earth, but the thought of Travis being with him and his lost child too… He couldn't make himself smile but he nodded at the boy. Dom went quiet but he didn't have the strength to interrogate him.
“I fink it's time to push.” The boy squeezed his hand and Colson had to agree, he could feel the baby dropping even further down.
“Can I at least have drugs?” He couldn't help but tease. Even a joint would be heaven.
“As a wise woman said to me earlier today, nut up buttercup. You can do wiv'out. You the strongest man I know. Plus…” Dom knew it was a risk and might have the complete opposite effect. He could make the comment and piss his mate off but he still leaned close and whispered in his ear. “Sooner you ‘ave our baby and ‘eal, the sooner you can fuck me proper.” He purred before sitting back and adding- “Besides, you take me knot all the time, Punk's bound to be smaller.”
There was a noise like a scoff from the phone and even though Colson partially hated his lover in the moment he had to defend the truth. They all deserved a little shame anyway and he wanted to fuck with everyone. “He's not wrong. Monster fucking cock on this wanker.” He stole an insult from his partner and beared down. While Dom was correct it still wasn't the fucking same, his knot didn't have shoulders or legs or nails.
The pain burning through him made time blur for the omega, he was overwhelmed and crying out with every breath. He knew he probably sounded insane as he growled and cursed and grunted, but he didn't care. Anything to get him through it. Dominic stayed close and kept soothing him the entire time, rubbing his back and whispering encouragement. Colson wouldn't admit it but the promise his lover gave helped him more than almost anything, he kept the picture of the killer on his belly with his ass in the air in the front of his mind and let everything else drift.
Every time someone said “push” he tried, he felt like one of Yungblud's victims with his organs gushing out between his thighs but he knew that wasn't the case. It was a fucking human. He was pushing a human being out. Oh fuck. In a quiet moment between tries as the Alpha leaned close and kissed his temple and licked over his split lip the man whimpered. “I can't fucking do it. I've been shitty to them. No wonder they don't want to come out. They can feel how awful I've been.”
“‘Ush tha’. You ain't been awful. You fink I ain't caught you in the shower? I know why you want alone time luv. I ‘ear yas. You a good mum already and our lil one knows it. Wha' ya mean ‘ey ain't wanna come out? It's a monf early! Punk can't wait to meet yas. Jus' breave wiv me and push. Already almost done.” Dom gently took his hand and led it between his legs where he felt something strange poking out of him. He was so lost to pain it took him a moment to realize it was his baby.
Dom sat back again and Kells leaned back against his chest, one arm wrapping around his lover's neck. The Alpha held him up as he grit his teeth for the next contraction and pushed like his life depended on it. He knew it did quite literally but it did figuratively as well. His entire life was about to begin in earnest with his whole family. Colson was pretty sure he was putting every sailor to shame with his mouth but it was better than focusing on how bizarre he felt. He could tell when his baby's shoulders were out, their hips, and finally those little feet they'd been kicking him with. Blain had set the phone down to get a towel ready and help catch the infant, and the kid sat back gently cleaning them once they were free.
Dominic helped his mate settle back on the nest and eased him out of his jacket and shirt. They shared a nervous look when the baby didn't automatically cry. You could have heard a pin drop as they listened for its first breath. Blain must have been told something by The Doctor when they weren't paying attention because he pulled the baby close and put his mouth over their tiny face? What the fuck?
Colson felt he could breathe again at the sound of his child's first cry. Frankly he thought he might join the little brat but when Dom took the baby to help lay them on Col’s chest his brain went quiet of everything but them. Their breath, their whimpers, all he could see was their scrunched up face and so small hands. His mate got their child comfortable against his chest and a shiver went through him. Something clicked into place in his heart, mind, and soul. “Oh, it was you.” He didn't know what he meant by that, the one he was waiting for? The one he was living for? The reason he existed at all? It didn't have to make sense, he knew it was all fucking true.
Dom pulled the towel away so he could look over his child. The emergency lights made everything red but at least he could see the important bits. Ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, and a perfect button nose. Rose bud lips wide open to scream their displeasure. Honestly the Alpha understood. Fuck the world, all that mattered was what he had in front of him.
“Looks like another boy to me.” Blain hummed, staying close but seemingly scared to interrupt too much. Dom pulled him closer and the boy smiled, reaching out to pet the baby's belly.
After a moment the little one settled down and opened his eyes enough Dom noticed something. His brows furrowed from nerves and he gently checked between his son's legs. “An alpha boy.” He whispered and swallowed hard. It didn't change how much he loved him already but the fear still tickled the back of his mind. ‘With you as a dad there's no way they'll turn out like them.’ The words his mate had said months ago circled his mind and he tried so desperately to believe him.
“Perfect Alpha boy. Just like Daddy.” Kells sniffled and forced his gaze away from his son to meet Dom’s eyes. It was something they'd both feared but now that he was here he felt silly for worrying. His son wouldn't grow up to hurt people, at least not in a bad way. With his father for example he would be kind and loving and perfect. Those little red eyes turned to him as he looked between the baby's and Dom's, a matching set and both so beautiful. “Shit I'm being roofied.”
Dom snorted a laugh and realized he was crying softly too. “Wha’ ya mean?” He asked and the omega huffed.
“All those fucking baby hormones. Bitches are making me a pussy but look at him.” They had to admit Punk was amazing.
“Bit messy innit? Suppose we all are.” Blain joked, wiping a bit more gunk off the infant. All of them were soaked in blood and worse but it didn't matter. “Family of fucked up we is.”
Colson grinned but he could feel something wrong inside him. He wanted to bask in the moment but it felt like he was still having contractions. “Something- fuck. Dom?” He whimpered, looking to the killer as if he could solve all the world's problems.
“Hey Batman?” The Doctor asked from the other end of the phone. The Alpha huffed and picked it up, his heart in his throat. What else could possibly be wrong? They'd just had a baby fucks sake. “You have to clip the cord and maybe even help him with the afterbirth.” She explained and his brows scrunched up. The bloody what now?
Kells felt like facepalming against Punk’s little hand, he knew to expect that but he'd been so wrapped up in his littlest man. “Do what you have to. Just don't interrupt us.” He grumbled, pulling the baby higher on his chest. He could hear The Doctor explaining but he didn't care. He just wanted to stare at his new love forever.
The Alpha arched a brow as he listened but handed the phone to the young omega and then he searched around for something to tie off the cord. Eventually he settled on ripping the bottom of his shirt and dipping it into the alcohol. It didn't quite feel safe enough but if he lit it on fire it would just burn away. He could tell his mate was starting to hurt more by the sweat on his brow but the man just watched their boy. It was a beautiful sight. He gently pet over his son's belly before tying the strip of cloth around the cord and close to his skin. He had no idea what he was doing but it felt right. The other strip went around it closer to Col’s core and the moment he was close he found it oddly difficult not to… play. He'd never thought himself too Alpha, in fact he fought it every day of his life. In that moment with his whelp on his mate's chest he was warring with his instincts more than ever.
He forced himself to pull back and he searched for one of his blades. When he couldn't find one he looked to Blain but the kid just shrugged and nodded in the direction of Megan. Dom cursed under his breath and stalked over to her, his head tilting when it looked as if she moved. He was sure she was dead but his anxiety was running high. He pulled the knife out of her guts and fought his urge to flay her skin. He didn't need to follow his ritual, he needed to help his lover. His family. He had to be a father and Alpha first. He had to learn priorities.
Blain watched his new father figure as he wiped off the blade and pulled out his lighter and the man tried to sterilize the metal. He held the flame close as he walked back over and parts of it looked almost red hot by the time he settled between Colson's spread legs. The boy was confused at what was happening, he didn't understand birth and was legitimately fucking terrified after watching it. Alphas didn't scare him for shite really but after seeing what unfolded he knew his adoptive mum was a badass. He tried to unobtrusively slip his hand in Colson's so the man could squeeze him if anything hurt. “Got a name yet?” He asked, trying to keep their minds busy. He wanted to help however he could to prove he could finally belong somewhere.
Dom shared a look with his partner but it was mostly playful. Kells had refused to talk about it once since they got together. It was too soon, or not safe, and they shouldn't get attached, which the Alpha called bollocks every time to no avail. He had ideas but he wouldn't force it. They didn't need one right away.
Col flushed under his mate's teasing glare before Dom dropped his eyes to go back to his work. He tried to ignore it as he cut the umbilical cord but he could feel his need to push growing. “I was too scared to come up with one. Maybe you can help us?” The omega offered and the teen smiled so bright before trying to control himself.
“Yeah tha’ might be cool.” Blain cleared his throat. They didn't need to know how attached he already felt. He grimaced when the grip on his palm got tighter but it didn't hurt. He trusted them both and knew they'd never cause him pain. It almost enraged him how much he trusted them. He'd not even known them a bloody month, but Dominic saved him and they both took him in. There was just something about them that made him feel safe.
Punk’s little lips screwed up again as if he were going to scream but after a moment he just mouthed at Col’s chest and it took the man a second to realize what he needed. “Oh. Ohhh- I'm supposed to let you find it right?” He asked like the baby could reply but when that whimper started up again he had to help him latch. He knew he'd find his own way eventually but it didn't make sense to let him cry. The first pull at his nipple was a shock to his system, he hadn't even let Dom play with his tits much in weeks. He was too worried about exactly this but now that it was happening he was enraptured. “Look at you. Mouth just like your Daddy too.”
Dom laughed, his eyes going wide but he knew his lover was a mess of oxytocin and other bonding hormones. He was pretty sure he was too because so much of him wanted to suck his mate clean with his mouth. He damn well knew Colson wouldn't like that though, at least not in their current situation. He made himself calm down and focus on the task at hand and the next few minutes were a blur of scents and sounds of pain. Once the afterbirth was free he set it aside in a bag, confused about what exactly he should do with it. Blain made a face but was mostly focused on the other man and he was happy to see his family bonding. He wanted nothing more than to lay with them and snuggle but he had to get them out of this mess.
The Alpha laid a towel over his lover's lower body and pressed a kiss to his son's cheek and his partner's forehead. He got a growl for ruffling Blain's hair but he just grinned back before standing up to take the phone and start looking around. The SWAT team should have been inside by now, the bomb squad at least. The fact that no one was coming in had him scared but as he walked to the front door it swung open. “Well fuck.” He sighed, a little surprised and annoyed at who had entered. When the man raised a gun in his direction he furrowed his brow- they'd had a discussion earlier that day but he didn't think it went that bad.
“You- you're- you?” A wet voice sounded behind him in shock before a cough and he turned to see Megan trying to sit up like every villain in every horror movie he'd ever seen. He knew he'd only shot her in the upper chest but he thought coupled with the stab wound it would have been enough.
The gun in front of him went off and he saw her fall back with a mess of white and gray matter spraying the wall behind her. His nose wrinkled and his ears hurt. Bullets were just so brutal. No artwork. “Head shots always put the bitches down.” The Alpha wanted to tell the newcomer to shut the fuck up, Colson possibly couldn't see them from where he was hidden and he didn't want him finding out yet. It was too much for his system.
Dom would swear he felt the air go cold and even his son's suckling went quiet a moment. His head was a mess of protecthurtcomfort but he couldn't stop this train from going off the rails. “Is that- it can't be.” Col's voice sounded so young and broken. Dom could tell it wasn't the first bad reaction the man might have gotten, his lip was split and he had a black eye. Neither had been there when they met earlier in the day.
He stepped closer to the other and got in his face. It was a warning not to hurt his mate anymore than he had to. He knew deep down this could be good for his partner but healing would take time if he ever fully could. The man smiled at him and nodded as if he was proud, Dom couldn't care less in the moment, not after everything. The only people he looked to for praise were in a nest on the floor and standing outside. “I talked to the feds, they know she was a rogue Alpha and the two of you are mated. She would have been in deep shit for trying to kill them. They'll want to come clear the bombs but with me back they won't fuck with Cols.” The man patted his shoulder before looking over at the others, Colson had let out another broken noise at his words.
Dom watched like it was a car accident he couldn't stop and he just hoped eventually it would turn out alright. He followed close and when they turned around the counter Kells looked like the lost boy he was. With Punk on his chest and Blain next to him looking between everyone so confused, the omega started to cry again though he'd barely stopped. He'd never felt so overwhelmingly happy and broken at the same time.
“What the fuck Travis?”
Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🖤
Oh no a cliffhanger! Don't worry, I have the next one ready. This was just getting so long already. Just one more chapter before part two I think! I hope you enjoy this one because I adore writing them as a little family. They're so cute! Where has Travis been? What will Col do now? Does the public know? We'll find out soon. Hope you're enjoying it! 💣🩸🖤
#yungblud#dominic harrison#dom harrison#machine gun kelly#mgk#colson baker#dom and colson#dom and colson fic#dom x colson#dom x colson fic#yungblud and machine gun kelly#yungblud and machine gun kelly fic#yungblud x machine gun kelly#yungblud x machine gun kelly fic#com#com fics#domson#domson fics#my fics#jinx fics#abo#alpha beta omega#alpha dom#omega kells#serial killer fic#hitman fic#mob boss fic#mpreg#birth fic#enemies to lovers
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Don't ask me why I'm doing this now. Maybe it's because we're hitting the one year anniversaries of the end of the show, but here's a thesis that I've been ruminating on as to why I believed the symbols from the psychic pointed to Ted.
Presented below the break
My thesis, if it can be called anything, is that each of those symbols were meant for each of the three romantic interests in Rebecca's life, that they symbolized that they were one part of what Rebecca wanted and needed but that they were not the right man. I'm going to break down each symbol. Also, I don't remember reading anything like this but if someone has written something like this, I apologize.
The Green Matchbook: This was for Sam. Sam came into Rebecca's life and showed her that she could have fun again. That love can be fun. In season one, Sassy says, "No, the real Rebecca is silly. Strong, yeah, but not cold." She's relearning fun. But Sam is too young. The power dynamics honestly are really cringy. It's one thing to date someone more than half your age, it's another to date someone you pay that's more than half your age. Aside from that all, their life experiences are totally different. His is just beginning. Rebecca is, to use a metaphor, a phoenix. She's starting it all over for the second time, but she's got a lifetime of experience.
Shite in Nining Armor(honestly, this 'sign' was so stupid, imo): This one is obviously John Stamos Wingsnight. Rebecca's relationship with him was all about learning that love is leaving yourself open to being heartbroken. He obviously was not the person that was meant for her to be that open with......but he was age appropriate.
Upside down, drenched, but safe: Ok, this is the big one and the most controversial. This is boatman. She falls into the water but ends up being fished out by him. Their evening is all about Rebecca learning to let go. She's always dressed to the nine's and is always put together. She never lets her hair down, to be colloquial . That evening she lets herself be Rebecca. 100% her. Silly, in command, sweet, hopeful. We get to see the person Sassy knew but with the strength and stripes that she has earned through her marriage. Flashing back to a year ago, I was so happy to see this. I thought, "This is it. This is Rebecca and now that she's let herself be herself, she can be that with Ted." 😒 I have SO many issues but I'm just going to focus on "Sunflowers". As a woman, I was so nervous throughout the episode. If I was in a foreign country, by myself, fished out of a canal by a strange man, and he threw his phone into the canal(thus eliminating any type of communication) and then he made a joke about how my drink was not spiked, I'd be out of there faster than a Ted Lasso spit take. Again, I was so happy to see Rebecca let herself be....herself but I was just uncomfortable the entire time. When he kissed her foot due to 'habit' I was like, NOPE GIRL, GET OUT OF THERE. He's weird at best. I think the writers were going for "meet-cute" of the 90s and 00s romcom persuasion but we've all come to realize that those movies are rife with misogyny and creepy male behavior and while we may still look back with fondness for them, we don't like to see it in our new media. It wasn't cute. Beyond all that, if you're looking at this through a literary lens, you've seen the two signs so far but the wrong men for Rebecca. Logic would dictate that the third is not right either but that we're close to the end of our journey.
I felt like these signs were pointing the way for Rebecca to realize her feelings for Ted(apparently I was deluding myself). I'm reminded of a post that broke down the response of Darcy and Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice after the first proposal. They both individually went out and worked on themselves and then came back together after they had realized their faults and worked on them. But the key is that they didn't do it, Darcy does not do this, in order to try again. To try to get the other one back. It was a realization of things, in this case pride and prejudice, that they individually worked on because it was pointed out to them. I bring this up because I see Rebecca's signs, and Ted's therapy(but I'm not going to get into that right now) as them working on themselves. Through these three men, Rebecca learns, or re-learns, things about herself and about what she wants out of a relationship. She gets back to herself, but with the wounds she gained. She is a better and stronger person. They are sign posts pointing to where she should go and where she should be headed. Follow these signs and you will get your lighting.
Rebecca wants someone to have fun with, to feel safe enough to be open to being hurt, and to be herself, wholly and completely. Who in our little show does that for her? There are so many instances where Ted proves time and again that he is all these things. From the insistence of Ted's that Rebecca join the team for the exorcism to his joy at seeing her join the team on the bus in Amsterdam and his laughter at her singing. The absolute care Ted takes to make sure she always feels safe and always has an option to say no, or to voice her concern and the forgiveness he gives her for her sabotage plans. With Ted, Rebecca was always able to be herself. It's slow to come out but through his use of "Oklahoma" we get pure, honest Rebecca. Through Biscuits with the Boss, Ted takes the time to get to know Rebecca, not Ms. Welton, but Rebecca. Ted gets to see the huge generous heart Rebecca has. By the last season Ted is open enough to ask "Am I a mess?" and Rebecca can respond that of course but she is too and that's why they get along.
The show didn't go the way it seemed to logically be going and many of us were left heartbroken and confused. There are many more signs that can be talked about (the September 13th connection, the way Rebecca can tell when Ted is having a panic attack, etc. etc.). Those are for later posts.
If you're still reading, thanks! And you're as crazy as I am :)
#this is.......sheer nonsense#long post under break#I had thoughts and wrote them out#tedbecca#rebecca welton#ted lasso
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The Glass Merchant Part Three
Masterlist
Part two
Contains: Angst, fluff, violence, gore, hurt/comfort.
3.3K words
Kai remembers
She smiled and looped her arm in his. "Good. Now no more talk of war and killing, the airship's here." She pulled him back as it landed at the docks, and a man stepped out with a tray. "You ready?"
A wonderful smell emanating from the cabin made his mouth water, and he smiled. "Hell yeah."
They were welcomed into the gentle lantern bee light of the airship with a flourish and directed to sit down as someone approached the table with two drinks on a tray. The waiter placed the glasses down in front of them, and Kai noticed Minna's careful work as he spoke. "Jade leaf cordial with ice berry syrup."
Minna picked up the glass and titled her head in thanks. "Thank you sir." She turned to Kai and watched as he picked up his own glass and brought it to his lips, the incredible taste filling his mouth as he took a sip. "Thoughts?"
He grinned. "It's fucken amazing."
She smiled and downed hers in one. "This is nothing, wait until we get to the restaurant, and you try the food."
She stood up and offered him her hand, smiling as he wove his fingers with hers, and they made their way to the balcony. They were far enough off the ground now that the lights of life below were a blur of indistinct colour. Minna rested her elbows on the railing and he watched as her chest rose as she breathed in the night air. "I was thinking, after dinner's over, they can drop us back at one of the main islands and we can go on a night whale tour."
He had no idea what a night whale was, but he didn't care. "Ay, that sounds nice."
The smile she gave him was filled with affection. "You'll like it. It's mating season in a few months, and now that storm reeds are growing again, the males have started to adorn their horns, it's fascinating."
He took another sip of his drink and thought back to his home, how it went from lush green to hellish and barren so fast that the overgrowth he ran through as a child felt like nothing more than a fleeting dream. "You talk like I should know what all this is, I mean, what even is a night whale?"
She sighed. "Night whales are the second largest whales we have, and they mate for life. The males swim through reed beds in the shallows to cover their horns in storm reed sprouts, then during mating season, when the reeds are all grown, they use them as a gift for their mate. You can see the reeds growing on their horns through the bottom of the boat."
He thought that sounded painfully romantic, but so did everything else about this place. "Shite. So what, you just learn all of this in school?"
She nodded. "Yeah," she took a breath. "But I was also a biologist before the war so there's that."
He raised his eyebrows, there was a story there, but he wasn't going to miss his chance to impress her. "Really, what was your area of expertise?"
She was taken aback; while she could tell he was trying to charm her, his tone held genuine interest. "The planet's cave bacteria, nothing all that exciting."
He finished off his glass and placed it down, taking a moment to formulate his response, but he found himself halted by the way the moonlight danced off her skin as she watched the ground pass below. He moved closer to her and placed his arm around her body, he told himself it was because she had goosebumps on her arms, and he didn't want her to be cold, but that wasn't really the truth. "So when is the right time for me to ask you on a second date?"
Her eyes crinkled at the edges, and for the first time, she didn't baulk at him. "Let's see how this one goes first."
His heart swelled with ego, she made him feel so bold. He reached his hand up and took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, and when she didn't pull away, he leaned in close and brushed her nose with his. "Can I kiss you again?"
Her lips grazed his as she smiled. "You may." His hand slid to her cheek as their lips met, and she all but melted into him as he placed his other hand on her lower back and pulled her to him. He could taste her sweet berry lipstick under the lingering of the cocktail, and if he weren't so entranced by the feeling of her soft hands as they gripped at him, he would have been pleasantly stunned by how yielding her lips were.
He was just about to nip her plump lower lip when there was the sound of rushing air, and her hand left his back as it shot out to grab the railing and she pulled away with a smile as the airship started to sway. She was grinning as he jerked with the movement, all wicked and playful, while he tried to brush off the jolt. "We're here."
He shook his head fondly. "I can see that."
Kai took a look around; the restaurant was the same style as all the other buildings he had seen, with one large central dome and two smaller ones shooting off from one side. The island was lush with plants, with rows and rows of fruit trees and garden beds, and the path leading to the front door was one long arch of trained fruit trees.
He looped his arm around Minna's waist as they walked through the door, and the maitre'd grinned when she saw her. "Minna, hello." She turned to Kai with a smile. "You must be her guest? I'm Erica, your table is this way."
She led them towards an alcove, and he was once again in awe of the amazing glass art that surrounded him. "Holy shite this is pretty."
Erica nodded. "Now you know why we let her eat here for free. Your food will be out soon."
He blinked. "No menus?"
Minna shook her head. "Nope, the chef takes a look at you when you walk in and gives you what he thinks you'll like, so if you have anything you can't or won't eat, you should speak up now."
It had been a while since he had an option like that. "Nope, I'll eat anything."
Erica smiled. "Wonderful, enjoy your night."
Kai turned back to Minna, only to find her looking proudly at the glassware as it went by. "You really did all of this?"
She shrugged. "Most of it, I trained two of the staff as well."
Before he could ask more, a waiter appeared with another tray of drinks. "Creamed sugar peach rum for the lady and mint and sliver blub vine gin for the gentleman, although you are encouraged to share."
He was gone as soon as the drinks were down, and Kai reached across the table to grab Minna's drink, smiling when she rolled her eyes. "He told us to share."
She shook her head as she acted him in kind, lifting his glass with the distinct tilt of a toast. "To sharing." Her sip was much more restrained this time, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he enjoyed her cocktail.
The light pink drink, while delicious, was a little too fruity for his liking, and he slid it back across the table to her as she returned his. "It's too bitter for me." A taste of the green liquid had him marvelling at the skill of whoever made it, it was the best thing he had ever tasted, but the cooling freshness with just a hint of bitterness made him feel like he had fallen face first in the herb garden had nothing on the way Minna was smiling at him. "Good?"
He nodded. "Amazing." He reached his hand out and grabbed hers, lacing their fingers together as she began to rub her thumb over the back of his hand. "Thank you for bringing me here."
She flashed him a smile, and he found himself admiring the fine wrinkles that formed around her eyes. "Hey, maybe I wanted to impress you."
He felt like a schoolboy after the pretty girl waved at him. "Ay, you've succesed."
The food came out next, piled high on beautiful plates that he was still scared to touch despite her insistence that they wouldn't break. Each dish showcasing a part of her planet as she explained them with pride, going into detail exquisite detail about every ingredient while he sat and listened, brewing in her words like he could taste her stories in every bite.
A different person brought dessert out, in fact, it was the head chef and owner, and while he only stayed long enough to thank them for coming, the look on her face at the dish in front of them gave him pause, she looked sad. "What is it Love?"
She cleared her throat and looked away for a moment, her eyes simmering with tears. "I'm sorry, it's silly."
He understood as she picked up the fine golden spoon and poked at the dish what she was feeling, he knew he wore that look sometimes too. "Brings back some memories?"
She nodded. "My dad." She wiggled the spoon one last time before taking a scoop and lifting it towards him. "Try it, I think you'll like it." He thought nothing of the intimate act of eating off her cutlery and did as she asked. "Good?"
He nodded. "It tastes like something my grandmother would make."
"Yeah, it's just milk, sugar and some pollen that makes it set, but it takes all day to cook. It was the only dish my dad didn't screw up, he would always make sure my brother and I got a bowl when we got home from school." He wasn't going to ask, he already knew what happened to them. She took a deep breath and smiled softly. "My brother used to heat his up so it was a little runny, I fucking hated that."
Her face was awash with emotions before she finally took a bite, her eyes sliding closed as her lips sealed around the spoon. They ate the rest in silence, his hand linked in hers as the world went on around them. When the table was cleared, the chef gave her a knowing smile from his station, and they returned to the airship arm and arm as it floated through the night sky towards one of the large islands in the distance.
****
"It looks different here." The buildings were much larger on this island, and there were wide streets lined with trees on both sides. The occasional vehicle went by, hovering above the ground as they passed. "I mean, there are cars."
Minna nodded. "Yeah, we're in the north end financial district. Next time you're here I'll have to take you on a rail cart tour to the old vault museum. The dock is in the other direction."
Kai sighed. "I still don't get this place."
She let out a chuckle. "We all have food and homes, we've got time to build museums and enjoy life."
He snorted and yanked her hard towards him, pulling her into his chest and taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "You're a braggart."
She grinned, and he admired the sparkle in her deep brown eyes. "Guilty." He leaned in close with every intention of kissing her again, right in the middle of the streets, but she placed a finger on his lips. "If we miss the tour, I will be very unimpressed."
He sighed and threw his head back. "Alright, lead the way love."
She ran her hand down his arm and took his hand in her, pointing behind her with a soft smile. "That's what I was doing."
As they got closer to the dock, he could see the soft blue glow of the water and hear it beating against the shore, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder as the cool breeze came towards them from the gentle waves.
He could see himself doing this all the time, as long as Minna was with him. "It really is nice.."
He stopped as she stiffened. She reached her hand into her purse and turned to attention to a man standing by the dock. "Distinguished guest, can I help you find something?"
There was a sharp change in the air, and the man smiled and stepped closer. "I'm waiting for the boat south, do you know when it's going to be here?"
The gun was out of her bag and pointed at the man's head in a flash. "At nine but you won't be getting on it. Get on your knees Motherworlder or I'll put you on them."
The man's hands went up, but there was no fear on his face. "There's no need for that miss, I mean you no harm."
Her eyes never left the man as she addressed Kai. "Go over to the street light and hold down the crossing button until the lights turn red." He did as he asked, and the street flooded blood red.
"I won't ask you again. There will be soldiers here in less than a minute, so get on your knees and make this easy for yourself." She was watching his hands like a hawk, and Kai moved to pull his own gun to back her up, but it was still level his hip when the man's hand twitched towards his belt, and Minna's gun went off.
There was no bang, just a strange swishing sound like a sword being drawn for its scabbard, and the man was on the ground, half his head gone as his blood left his body. They were surrounded seconds later, the soldiers he had seen everywhere rushing towards the body on the concrete as she put her gun away.
One soldier, who must have been the commanding officer, gave Minna a curt nod as one of his men took a photo of the corpse and then wandered over with a swagger in his step. "Good work. We caught his comrade half an hour ago heading towards the power station, he was taken alive."
She nodded. "You need a statement?"
The soldier shook his head. "Nope, but I'd head home if I was you, there won't be any tours tonight, we gotta get this shit cleaned up." He turned to Kai and shrugged. "Sorry man, the night whales are really something to see, but we can't have to kiddos see this."
Kai nodded. "No worries mate."
The soldier pulled something from the belt; it was a small piece of cylindrical metal, about as long as a hand and twice as thick as his thumb. Minna presented her forearm, and he pressed a button on the top, and after a few seconds, a long thin, red hot rod with a tally at the end pooped out of the bottom. Kai only had a moment to realise what was happening before a sizzle filled the air, and another black mark was added to the ring of tallies on Minna's forearm. She acted like the burn was nothing more than a bug bite as she pressed her thumb to the data pad to confirm the camera footage playing across the screen was real.
He breathed away the pungent smell of burning flesh and swallowed down his nausea as the soldier turned towards him. "You staying with her tonight or do we need to find you a place to crash?"
Kai blinked and set his jaw. "I'll be staying with the lady if she'll still have me."
Minna smiled. "Of course."
The soldier nodded. "I'll take you guys home then."
A small shuttle landed moments later, and he led them towards it, Kai didn't know what to say or where to start, and she certainly didn't look like she wanted to initiate that conversation.
He finally came to his senses and spoke when the shuttle took off towards her home. "Are you alright?"
She blinked in confusion and nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"
He shrugged. "That was pretty fucken intense, I just figured.. People don't walk about the Motherworld here, but I can tell something went down." He still didn't know what to say, and her eyes were pointed directly behind him as she formed an answer to the question he'd wanted to ask since he first landed.
When her eyes met his again, it felt like he was looking at a different person, the sparkle of warmth replaced with the hardness of long-calloused hatred he was getting used to seeing when the Motherworld was brought up.
"We were resisting the Motherworld long before Arthelais took up the cause." There was something so emotionless in her voice as she spoke. "Black is for Motherworld soldiers, and red is for traitors."
He blinked, very aware of how many she had. "Shite, can I ask why?" Her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, and he clarified. "I mean, why keep count? The people here don't seem like the kind to advertise that."
She shrugged and spoke of the old Gods, all their violent anger and hunger for blood that left a chill running up and down his spine as he finally understood why things were the way they were. Part of him ached to reach out and run his fingers over each line, to ask her the stories behind them until she had bared her soul so he could do the same in return. "Why didn't the Motherworld obliterate the planet?"
For a brief moment, a look of shame came over her face, but it was gone as soon as it appeared. "Because we're the ones that created the world ender and we gave it your leader in exchange for her forgetting about us when it won her the war." The world ender, for the longest time, it was only a story, Motherworld soldier touching down on a planet only to return half rotted and dying from a disease that ripped through their ranks like the pale hand of death itself; that was until Arthelais got her hand on a few vials of it.
"She told us she found a weapon created from the caves of a warrior planet." The realisation washed over him like the coldness of death. "Minna, Love.."
He wanted to tell her that it changed nothing, that he didn't think any lower of her, but it was like she had closed off to him completely, her explanation robotic and soulless. "When we heard about the Motherworld, we gave all the other planets in the system a clocking shield that made it look like no one could land on them. My father was the main engineer on the project, and well, the last time I saw him, they were dropping his half dead body on my doorstep."
He reached out his hand and placed it on her knee. "I was working on a cure for the disease that was killing my brother, but that's not what I created. My father didn't give up the codes, and I wasn't going to shit on his memory by being a coward. I had a hard choice to make so I did what I knew I had to do to save my people."
She cleared her throat and rolled her shoulders. "I'm not a total monster, there's an antidote, we just make sure the Motherworld didn't know about it."
He took her hand, uncaring that she made no attempt to squeeze back. "It was war, you did what you had to do."
She swallowed and gave him a nod. "That I did, every single time." There was a rush of air as the shuttle landed, and she raced to jump out before he could react. They didn't speak during the short walk to her home, and the house was peaceful when they entered, but he once again felt closed off from the woman in front of him. "It's late, and it's been a long day; you should get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning."
In the morning, he could settle for that.
Part 4
@rayslittlekitten @laurfilijames @red-orchid
#rebel moon#rebel moon part one a child of fire#fix it fic#kai rebel moon#kai rebel moon/ofc#Kai rebel moon/original female character#the glass merchant#charlie hunnam
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HI happy valentines can i get angst 👌
The og four and how they feel about Bain post canon 🥰 heheh grief
It's technically not Valentine's anymore, but thank you hehe- NOW IT'S TIME FOR ANGST 💀 Hoxton and Dallas' might be longer bc I know them better, my apologies
OG gang post(normal)-ending
Dallas
- So many heists, so many years, so many successes, just for this?
- He's speechless
- He usually would be the one to cheer up other heisters after something sad, but for once, he has nothing to say
- He can barely look at the others without feeling so disappointed in himself
- He wants to be there for the others, but he can't process any of the past couple days
- Setting up the funeral was just about as much as he could take
- During that time, he helped others out with handling their feelings, whilst pushing his own down
- By the end of the event, he's pushed his grief so far down he can't even begin to unpack everything
- It's like he's numb, the feeling of grief is hidden somewhere he can't uncover
- For a while, he just throws himself into work, mindlessly pushing on to provide for the rest of the gang
- By this point, the gang was more like a family/group of close friends, and he wanted them to be alright
- Some people left the gang, yes, but the people who stayed still needed his help (at least, they did in his eyes)
- No one really comments on his concerning demeanour except Hoxton, who doesn't really know how to approach this but tries
- "Hey. Listen, whatever's fucking with you, you don't have to... lone wolf it, or some shite like that. I.. we've got your back, like we always do.. So, just... tell us what to do to help?"
- That definitely gets Dallas to spill to his friend about everything
- I think even talking about it helped him a little
- Bain was just a boss to some of the newer heisters, but to Dallas he was a friend, someone he could always rely on in a dangerous world
- And now he's dead, which is only really settling in when Dallas mentions it
- I think he eventually finds a way to pull himself out of his slump, and dedicates every heist he does/plans to his old friend
Hoxton
- As expected, he's mad
- Although not at the start
- In the beginning, he's also rather speechless
- He knew Bain was just another human being, but there was just something about him that made it seem like he was untouchable
- Now he's dead, Hoxton can barely speak without just feeling at a loss
- He was a good boss, but also a good friend too
- Hoxton doesn't give out his trust that easily, so the loss meant so much more since he trusted Bain, deeply
- At the funeral, he can't really think of anything witty/comedic to say
- In fact, he can't say much at all
- But a couple days later, he finally expresses something; rage
- He's mad
- He's really mad
- At the bastards who killed him, and the bastards who're glad he's gone
- His anger fuels him to keep going for a while, but at one point he burns out
- "I'm fucking exhausted. And, fuck, Bain was... a friend. And I couldn't even save him."
- He has this talk with one of the OGs, who know him well and would never judge him
- I think he has a drink with the OGs about it, just talking about Bain in general
- The heists they went through, the scoldings he would give as if he really was some sort of grandfather to them
- And yes, Hoxton leaves a drink for Bain
- "Cheers to you, mate. Wherever the fuck you are, hope it's good."
- I think after that, he joins Dallas, in the way he keeps going for a little while longer, fueled by the loss
Chains
- Chains too, was shocked
- Although I feel as though he tried to deal with the loss, rather than push it away
- The funeral felt surreal
- Someone who he had never actually met was being buried in front of him
- Of course, he was still close with Bain, but it just felt... off.
- He was probably one of the first to outwardly talk about it to the others
- "Hey. Can we... talk, about all the shit that's just happened?"
- He would still try to joke a little, but it's clear that Bain was his friend too, and the loss means something
- "I mean, shit, I knew Bain wasn't some type of god or anything, but... it's like that whole funeral didn't make any sense, you know?"
- He would also be one of the first to try make light of everything, although deep down the gang knew he was hurt too
- I think from his point of view, Bain wouldn't have wanted them to be all sad anyway
- "I think Bain'd rather see us in action again, you know? Robbing corrupt motherfuckers and shit, shit that'd make him proud."
- Hoxton agrees with this too, and eventually others did as well
- Definitely joins Hoxton (as well as some others) in trying to get others to keep going too
- When they do another heist, even if it's something simple, he's definitely encouraging those who went
- "See? We still got it."
- After that, a few others join him in pushing past the grief and working on more heists
Wolf
- As expected, he's mad
- If anyone was going to be angry about all of this, it's Wolf
- And his rage is almost immediate, as well as all consuming
- How could it go like this?
- All this effort, all the blood and sweat and tears poured into one continuous effort
- Just for them to fall at the last hurdle?
- That's unfair, and he doesn't want to accept it
- The rest of the gang can see how angry he is after the funeral
- Although no one wants to comment on it, as they're either busy dealing with their own grief, or they're scared of what he'll say/do
- It's common to find him in his own corner of the safehouse, silently working on different ideas
- During this time, he's rather dismissive and stand-offish
- He can feel his blood boil everytime someone even so much as tries to ask him how he's doing
- After this period, he would just leave the safehouse sometimes
- None of the gang really know what happens when he leaves, but some smaller news stations started to report a robber that would leave shops and small banks highly damaged and that civilians who encountered them were terrified
- I think one of the OGs would stop him from doing this again, since police might connect it to the Payday gang
- "I get that you're mad, shit, I am too, but you're bringing too much attention to us. Save that for the real heists, okay? That'd make him proud, I think." (Chains)
- After a while of arguing, I think Wolf would agree to hold back on the outbursts for now, but for a while he's just constantly a little angry
#payday 2#payday#payday the heist#headcanons#payday 2 hoxton#payday 2 dallas#payday 2 wolf#payday 2 chains#chains#wolf payday 2#wolf#dallas
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The Dinner (a Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe fanfic)
I mentioned in one of my Random Inside No. 9 Thoughts posts that I had a concept of Viktor (Reece's character in Once Removed) and Lisgoe being cousins. Well, I decided to indulge in it a bit and write something that explores that dynamic
There were only two ideas that truly terrified Ross Gaines:
Firstly, it was the idea that, after he was gone, there would be knowledge that he wouldn't be able to obtain. That the world will continue to go through developments that he would never experience
The second, far more terrifying, thought was that, at some point, he would have to meet Lisgoe's family
So, when his partner came home saying his cousin was visiting, something decided on without Ross' knowledge, he very nearly locked him out of the house
"He asked if we were free and I said yes, he invited himself over!"
"And I was under the impression that we would make that decision together, now I have a matter of hours to prepare for-"
"Don't worry about that shite, he'll be here in half an hour."
That wasn't the assurance Lisgoe thought it was
"Joseph, I swear to god-"
"It's not a big deal, he's my cousin, not the King of fucking England. Just act like he's one of your co-workers, as long as you don't bore him with spreedsheets and shite."
Ross went to protest, but was cut off by Lisgoe pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. It didn't make things better, but he decided to drop the argument before it ended with one of them going through the window
"As long as he doesn't bring your parents."
"Not a chance, my dad's dead and my mam's busy."
"Shame, I'd quite like to meet her. I'll bet she'd have a heart attack when she finds out what her son's doing for work."
A smug smile graced Lisgoe's face and he cleared his throat, as if preparing for some kind of show
"Damn it, Joseph!" He imitated what looked like a short, very Northern woman "If you're going for the jugular, swipe up! Not across! Swiping across means more blood spatters to clear up!"
He broke the act with a bark of laughter, which Ross couldn't help but chuckle at
"She sounds like quite the woman."
"More of a cow than I am! She's a landlord."
*********************************************
When the door rang later that day, Ross went to answer it. He smoothed out his collared shirt before opening the door
What he was met with was a blond man in a smart felt coat. He seemed polite, but Ross couldn't help but feel slightly unnerved by him. Like there was something going on behind the scenes, so to speak
"You must be my cousin's boyfriend." His voice was gentle, yet direct. Polite but no-nonsense "I'm Viktor, I believe he mentioned me?"
"Ross. And he's my partner."
"Same thing."
Ross extended his hand, but Viktor walked right past and into the living room. As if he already lived here
Ross knew he was either going to really like him, or loathe him intensely
*********************************************
They ate dinner, at first, in silence. Ross had prepared the meal, despite Lisgoe's several attempts to change things
"Judging by the fact none of us have keeled over and died," Viktor said "I assume Ross made this?"
"Don't fucking start." Lisgoe pointed his fork at him as if he were planning to attack "I didn't invite you here to start a fight."
"Take a joke, Joe."
"I will throw this meatball right at your head!"
"Can we please be civil today?" Ross sighed, starting to regret sitting himself in the middle "I don't want to be playing peacekeeper all day."
Once again, nobody spoke for a few minutes. It was Ross that broke the silence
"So, what do you do?"
"I'm part of an agency, we help those in desperate need of immediate support-"
"He gets hired to kill people."
"Thank you, Joe." Viktor glared at his cousin "I was getting to that."
Ross couldn't help but wonder what the family resemblance of these two was. They seemed to be polar opposites from their looks to the way they spoke and behaved
"Ask him about house numbers."
"Piss off!"
Ah, there it was
"What's this about house numbers?"
"Joe, don't tell him."
"He once mistook a 6 for a 9 because someone unscrewed it to fuck with him." Lisgoe explained, clearly enjoyed the annoyed look on his cousin's face "Nevermind the housing order went '4, 5, 9, 7, 8, 9' because he clearly can't fucking count."
"You're such an ass." Viktor muttered under his breath
"Not my fault you failed Year 7 Maths!"
"If I recall correctly, I'm not the one that got short-changed because someone outsmarted me and managed to cheat me out of £100."
"Fuck you, that was one time! And I beat the rest of the money out of him as soon as I realised what happened!"
"Which was halfway down the road." He turned to Ross "He had to drag his sorry backside about half a mile back."
The thought of his partner making such a foolish error put a slight smile on Ross' face, which seemed to make Lisgoe's mood worse
"You've picked well," Viktor told his cousin "Ross seems like a good man. Well-mannered, nice to look at-"
"Keep your eyes and your hands to yourself."
"Am I not allowed to make observations?"
"Not about my fucking partner, no."
"I meant nothing by it. I'm very much a heterosexual."
Ross was supressing a disbelieving laugh, which Viktor hadn't yet noticed. Lisgoe was barely holding it together
"I think it's normal for a man to acknowledge another man's good traits, it doesn't make them a homosexual-"
"What about owning a collection of silk dressing gowns?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I went snooping last time I went round," Lisgoe told Ross "I open one of his drawers and there's just a load of silky nightgowns."
"Don't listen to him, Ross, my cousin's a liar and a prick."
It was at this point that Ross realised this is what having two teenage sons was like, he massaged his temples
*********************************************
"Well then," Ross said once he'd shut the door behind Viktor "I can't say it wasn't an eventful dinner." He made his way to the living room, where Lisgoe was sat, and leant against the doorframe "You didn't seem impressed."
"It went fine, Viktor and I just argue like brothers. Mam was always on our asses for it."
There was a moment of pause where Lisgoe looked as though he was trying to say something. Ross sat beside him and waited patiently
"Remember when that phonebook of yours only had two numbers in it? Work and your mam?"
"Yes."
"Well, that was me for a long time. All I had was my mam and my cousin. Dad was a bastard, Viktor's mam was a bitch and the rest of the family didn't talk to us. That's why the whole 'meeting the family' shite took a while. I didn't have much family for you to meet." Lisgoe stared at the wall "Viktor and I were always a bit of a duo, two horrible bastards against the world's bullshit. We just kinda... went seperate for a bit. Jobs and shite."
For a moment, Ross was quiet. He didn't quite know how to respond to it; not what Lisgoe had said exactly, but more the fact that he'd so willingly unlocked that part of himself. It didn't feel burdensome or painful, the air wasn't tense, it was as if he'd given a part of himself that he simply didn't need to hold onto anymore. Like taking off an extra layer when the sun came out
It was clear that Lisgoe felt like he'd said too much, because the subject was quickly changed
"I wish he wouldn't call me Joe," Lisgoe muttered, leaning back against the sofa "it's a fucking stupid name. And he knows that, but he keeps doing it."
"I think Joe suits you," Ross had a smug look on his face "it's sweet."
Lisgoe responded with a sarcastic smile and his middle finger, which cause Ross to let out a triumphant chuckle
"Didn't expect you to open up to me like that."
"Don't talk about it." Lisgoe said firmly "I feel like a right twat for spilling my guts like that."
"You're not one of those. Well, not at the moment. You were one when you made plans with your cousin without telling me, and you'll definitely be one at some point tomorrow. But, right now, you're not."
Ross watched as his partner's face contorted into a mischevious grin - and he knew exactly what was coming
"No."
"What am I not, Ross?"
I'm not saying it."
"Come on, you're quoting me. That doesn't count as swearing."
"Yes, it does."
Rolling his eyes slightly, Lisgoe leaned in to kiss him. His hand rested on his cheek and his teeth nipped Ross's lower lip gently
"He takes after you," Ross murmured between the kiss "Joe."
"Shut the fuck up." Came the response from against his neck "Don't start with that."
"Would you rather I called you by your middle name, Nigel?"
The retort that followed was Lisgoe dragging his tongue up Ross's neck, causing him to recoil in disgust and glare at his laughing partner
"Don't do that, you're not a dog."
Lisgoe, naturally, did it again. Which resulted in him getting smacked in the back of the head
"Joseph, I'm warning you."
"Come on, dickhead, what are you gonna do?"
"OK, now you're acting like a twat."
"Knew you'd say it eventually." Lisgoe kissed him again, harder this time "It's too easy."
Ross didn't feel much need to reply
A/N: Hnnnnnngh I can't write Viktor to save my goddamn life, I haven't watched Once Removed in a while but I remember snippets??? Anyway, sorry to the Viktor stans, he probably wasn't the best but I hope he didn't suck too bad
#league of gentlemen#the league of gentlemen#inside no 9#joseph lisgoe#ross gaines#viktor#once removed#inside number 9#in9#gainsgoe
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ATLA and RWBY thought
This is admittedly a cluster of a thought I'm having. Tai Yang Xiao Long, and Willow Schnee share the same sort of flaw with Iroh and Ursa from Avatar The Last Airbender: They're good people, but either neglected or otherwise had problems with one or more of their children owing to their own problems that were going on.
No, I don't think either of them were horrible people. Just had problems as parents/uncles. Admittedly going through the abuse they went through (Willow and Ursa), or the haze of depression (Tai and Iroh) do a lot to people and can result in far worse but the problems are apparent in their kids/charges.
The entire Schnee family were screwed over by Jacques, to be sure. I'm not going to argue against that. But Willow driving herself into drinking didn't exactly do anything good for Winter, Whitley, or Weiss. At least in her case, Willow aided Weiss in ousting Jacques and was constantly helping her children and the heroes in V8.
Tai is a complicated story. I know I have mutuals that think he's a shit person, shit father, etc. But I personally see someone that is trying, at the very least, to attempt to make up for neglecting his kids during a very trying time. It's not good when your first wife leaves you shortly after your first kid is born and your second ups and leaves in the middle of the night to a secret mission and is presumed dead. He helped Yang get back on her feet, which worked out in the end. Not exactly the greatest father in the world, but in my frank opinion I'll take him over Raven Branwen.
So, we have two parents that are trying to help their kids in the current time period of RWBY after having neglected them at the least during their childhoods out of depression, grief, and alcohol addiction.
What about Iroh and Ursa?
Given how Zuko turned out, and me being a Zuko stan? I don't think I need to go too in depth on my favorite Fire Nation Prince. Just that a lot of his problems stem from his father's influence in his life and his mother leaving him as a child, though he had Iroh there it was a long journey from where he started to where he ended up.
A friend of mine once explained her pitying Azula, whereas I just saw a monster that needed to be stopped, like this: Zuko had two buffers against Ozai and they were Ursa at first and then Iroh later on. Azula had no one and was twisted faster and harder than Zuko was.
I don't hate Azula anymore, though I did when I watched the show back when it was airing. Given time, discussion, and reflection, I can see that Azula was very much a victim of Ozai's shite...with no one to aid her, really. It doesn't excuse the stuff she did or tried to do in the show or the comics, but it does put that breakdown into a sadder context.
Basically, the point that Iroh and Ursua didn't try as hard as they could have with Azula makes sense to me. It doesn't mean they're bad people, just have favoritism in their hearts and didn't try hard enough.
This isn't a critique, more just my opinions on things. I just think all four of these people fit into the flawed parent trope a lot better than making them straight up abusive. It shows what depression, abuse, etc. can do to a person and the extremes they're willing to go.
TLDR: Iroh, Ursa, Tai, and Willow all messed up regarding their kids. But at least they decided to try in the end, and I applaud them for that.
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Daily Writing Challenge November 2023 Day 3
Inspiration / Unresolved ( @daily-writing-challenge @zoronadotatanado )
World: Final Fantasy 14
Theme: Tyrian 2000 - Sarah's Song ( Stone McKnuckle Remix )
“Why don’t we settle this with a wager then?!”
K’thalen froze with his cup pressed against his lips. He slowly looked down at the enraged lalafell with a sly smile spread across his lips. “Now yer talkin’ my language.”
“N-noli, maybe we should take a breath and-” Zoronado stopped mid-sentence when she shot him an angry glare; he knew better than to tell her to calm down at a time like this.
“A drinking wager!” She spat, compelling him to put his mug down. “Whoever’s still conscious wins!”
Another condescending chuckle came from the back of the Miqo’te’s throat, filling Nonoli with additional rage she didn’t realize she had room for. “Lil’lady… are ye serious? Challengin’ me? To a DRINKIN’ game? Oooh, heh heh heh… ye must be angry, aintcha? Heh heh heh…!”
It was Augusta’s turn to chime in. “He’s right, Noli… he drinks a lot. Like… a lot…”
“I drink too!” She squeaked back, stomping her tiny lalafeet. “All the time!”
K’thalen leaned forward to rest his arms on his knees. “Pteh… lotsa wine. Gloooorified grapejuice, lass– what I drink on the regular’ll knock ye out flat. Ya don’t want this. Heh heh heh…”
Nonoli was at her breaking point! “Then we choose our opponent’s drinks! My stuff is stronger than your gross whiskey, I swear it!” Both Augusta and Zoronado gave each other concerning glances but at this point the woman was too angry to listen to reason.
Far too long this man has mocked her, ridiculed her, bullied her! He thought he was so clever, so funny– always laughing, always calling her names! The fury of a thousand suns burned in her veins and cried out for vengeance, for justice! Slowly K’thalen rubbed at his chin, unable or unwilling to hide his amusement. “Aight… yer on, Popoto Princess, heh heh!”
“Look at this lil’fishbowl-headed, pouty-faced, barrel-bodied brat, heh heh heh… oooh she’s MAD mad, ha ha! She’s in fer a world o’hurt when she’s facedown in the dirt!”
“I can’t stand his stupid face! I’ll wipe that smile off if it’s the last thing I do! Mark my words, this rat-faced ruffian is going down! DOWN!”
Both opponents sat down nearby– with Nonoli having to add additional padding so she could actually reach the table. She was furious– perhaps more than she has been in a long time. Augusta reluctantly brought K’thalen’s drink of choice with Zoronado rummaging through Nonoli’s bags for hers. The time for trash-talking was over, now all they did was stare deeply into each other’s eyes while their friends prepared the shots.
Naturally K’thalen went first. He brought the drink up to his lips and knocked it back with one gulp, immediately smacking his lips and grimacing with disgust. “What kinda wine is this shite…? Can’t taste the alcohol under all this damn sugar… ya really drink this garbage?”
Nonoli didn’t answer. She pinched her button nose shut and exhaled sharply before downing her shot; fire ignited in her throat and burned a hole through her barrel-shaped body all the way down, but she didn’t waver. Zoronado and Augusta both stared in awe as the little Lalafell remained unflinching after tasting the worst of the worst– black belly whiskey.
Round two was more of the same. K’thalen clearly hated the taste but downed it all the same, tempted to grab a whiskey shot to wash it down. Nonoli barely blinked but never stopped glaring up at him, repeating the trick she used before to knock back the whiskey with minimal effort.
Round three was when things started to change, however. K’thalen rubbed at his chest after downing his shot, already teetering but without the buzz he longed for. Nonoli coughed and almost sputtered, but she clasped her hand over her mouth and forced herself to swallow. Both of them were beginning to get dizzy, compelling their friends to stand nearby and behind them– just in case they fell over. Yet Nonoli couldn’t lose… she had a reputation to uphold.
“Nono…” Zoronado whispered, rubbing at her shoulders amidst her laborious breathing. “It’s not too late… we can go fishing, or something… just you and me?” She blinked again, and for half a heartbeat her beloved knight was convinced she was considering it. That is until she opened her mouth and gestured for the next shot.
“He besmirched my honor.”
K’thalen was forced to take off his hat and shake his head furiously to ward off the dizzying stupor on the seventh round. Augusta offered to take his hat from him but he waved his hand dismissively at her before slapping it back onto his head. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead and he was struggling to stay upright; surprisingly his smirk had vanished. This little lady was more of a match than he thought. Nonoli hiccuped when it was her turn… and the nausea from so much whiskey was beginning to take its toll on her.
With a trembling hand he slurped down his shot on the twelth round, but the glass slipped from his shaking fingers. Augusta gasped when he slumped forward toward the table, but he forced himself to press on; unfortunately he over-corrected, and the spinning forest around them suddenly lurched forward moments before he slammed his head onto Augusta’s lap! THONK!
“I don’t believe it…!” She stared at the teetering Lalafell with amazement. “You… you actually did it?!”
Nonoli wiped the drool from the corner of her lip and raised a thumb towards Augusta… then she collapsed backwards into Zoronado’s awaiting arms. The Miqo’te sniffed curiously at the drink K’thalen was downing… and burst into an uproarious laughter!
“W-what’s so funny?!” Zoronado asked, startled.
“Clever girl… HAHAHA!” Augusta couldn’t finish her sentence, slamming her hand on the nearby table. Only after staring at the bottle did Zoronado recognize it– causing him to laugh too.
She wasn’t serving K’thalen alcohol at all… but a sleep potion potent enough to knock out a behemoth. She... she CHEATED!!!
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i am attempting "light therapy" to help fix my sleep schedule and i'm cranky about it
my aunt, who's a neuropsychiatrist (one of the few women in her field and fairly well known at this point, don't know if anyone's heard of Dr. Jo Cara Pendergrass but damn she's cool) was in town this week to look after her mom post-cataract surgery
Cara is probably the smartest person in the family, all things considered
(my brother and I give her a run for her money but neither of us intend on getting a goddamn PhD lol) (also my dad wouldn't appreciate me saying that, he is also pretty smart. but like. he's got intelligence, he's just lacking in wisdom)
ANYWAY. of all the people in the family, Cara is the person i rarely have to explain my illnesses to. usually, i have to tack on a brief description of it anytime i say "yeah i have EDS and fibromyalgia and IBS and--"
but last time i saw her over Christmas, i told her the diagnosis and had my script prepared to explain, but she just went "Oh yeah Ehlers Danlos -- wait. Oh."
her face did the thing where she was processing new info at light speed by blinking and cycling through several expressions as the pieces of the mystery that is my chronic ailments settled themselves in place
unfortunately i wasn't at the point where i was comfortable enough to tell anyone how miserable and in pain i was, that was something i put off another couple of months before i confessed to Nana that i'd become a grocery thief and was on my way to being homeless. that's also around when my brother asked my permission to share my story with the family, because he knows how difficult it is for me to admit how much i'm struggling.
i'm rambling tbh but only to keep me awake and sitting outside long enough
ANYWAY
so Cara was here this week. i went to visit the other night. we always have really interesting conversations about our brains and genes and family shite, i don't think anyone other than my brother and i can actually hold a conversation with her about that kind of shit.
i did NOT go there just for advice, but when i told her how much trouble i've had getting out of bed before evening, she gave me a couple of tips that i'm now trying out
1). the 24-hour sleep deprivation strategy
it sounds like a nightmare to me, but apparently has supporting evidence that, at least in the short term, resets your circadian rhythm.
if you've ended up awake hours past your desired bedtime, then instead of simply going to bed late, it's advised* to keep yourself awake throughout the rest of the day until the next bedtime.
( * WITH CONSULTATION OR SUPERVISION OF A DOCTOR)
the reason this is supposedly effective is that the longer you stay awake, the higher the sleep pressure becomes (sleep pressure is just your body's signal to go the fuck to bed, which is something i'm intimately familiar with as it's a constant companion of mine regardless of sleep hygiene). the higher the sleep pressure the easier it is to fall asleep and, ideally, the better your sleep becomes.
Cara did emphasize that as far as we know, it's only a short term strategy. either we haven't done enough studies or we haven't figured out how to apply it to a longer term solution.
2). Light therapy
i was already somewhat aware of this but not to the extent that Cara explained.
the trick here is to force yourself out of bed (if you're able) and sit outside. preferably on sunny days. she said this even works if you end up falling asleep outside anyway, you're still absorbing sunlight.
there's no immediate change, as it does take a few days or more to notice any improvements (this checks out, as i am still drowsy as fuck) but doing this daily or semi-daily gradually convinces the body and brain to be awake earlier.
it's one of those things that a lot of disabled folk like me, especially those with fucked up sleep, would hear and get annoyed with, because we've tried so many different strategies that have each failed one way or another. and hearing "go outside" just reminds me of my mother and every yoga enthusiast insisting on all natural medicine, which understandably raises my metaphorical hackles.
but Cara, again, is the smartest person i know. i'm much more willing to take the advice of a neuropsychiatrist over a yoga mom, despite them actually agreeing on something.
and also? i do miss the Sun, quite terribly.
so if, by sometime next week, i'm magically able to wake up earlier with less struggle, i will let y'all know. i'm gonna be cranky about it, especially if it actually WORKS, but as the neighborhood mascot of Sleep Deprivation i think i'm a pretty good indicator if something like this is legit or not.
。:゚(;´∩`;)゚:。
#tink rambles#trying to resist going back for a nap#been sitting out here an hour though so thats something#unfortunately i dont get any direct sunlight bc my apartment is north facing and the roof extends past the balcony#maybe if i can hobble down to the pool next week i can do some sunbathing#but only if i can find my sunscreen lol i burn exactly like my irish ancestors on sunny days
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Legend of Lightning Chapter 50. Turning the Trap Around
https://archiveofourown.org/works/43208574/chapters/112553413
eeeeeee! Chapter 50, everyone! I am so pleased to be here. Still a long way to go, but a milestone is a milestone.
To anyone who has read any of my work, thank you so much.
@swtorhub
Thul Palace
Gustab Williton paced the halls outside Baron Thul’s apartments. He was deeply uneasy about what had just transpired. The Baron was a powerful man, and more than capable of enacting revenge on him someday. He contemplated leaving a request with the great Darth’s secretary for a transfer once he had brought him his prize, claiming they wanted a better assignment. There were other Sith here, after all, Sith who could join the Thul war effort. Perhaps Lady Kairadwen, who had caused quite a stir among his peers during her all-too-brief visit, might be persuaded to return.
He had spent every free second at the gates, hoping to catch her as she passed by… only to be disappointed.
Still, he didn’t want her on a world that he was leaving! Perhaps his next assignment could be… wherever hers was! Perhaps he could request an assignment to Darth Baras’ operation.
Yes, that was a splendid idea. There were many other Sith who could take over.
Eklarie pulled him into a side room and leered at him. “Decicred for your thoughts, my little pup.”
“I want this done with,” he partially admitted his real thoughts. “I don’t like being part of a great Darth’s schemes. They use you, then they toss you.”
“Wise words, my dollie,” she raised her scarred face to his. He returned her kiss passionately. He loved Eklarie. She was not the most beautiful Sith in the galaxy, but she was far more loyal, as both partner and lover. Dependable, though she was normally taciturn. He wanted to marry her as soon as he could, to start accruing power and status so they could found a House together.
“It’s not just Angral,” he said reluctantly. “Baron Thul is a dangerous man. For Sith like us, at least.”
“I know,” she sighed. “I’ve been thinking of the same thing.” Her face soured. “We’re shite excuse for Sith, aren’t we?”
“We’re not aiming to be Darths, after all. We just want to be retainers.”
“Thinking about Lady Rooks, again? You should give it up. Half the Academy was foaming at the mouth after she duelled Darth Malgus on Ziost. She has more requests than even them Darths, I’d wager. It’s easier to get in good with some of the lesser Sith. I heard Darth Zash might be building up her power base.”
“Zash…” Gustab thought about that idea for a long moment. “What about the other major Houses?”
“Major Houses? Us? We’re bottom feeders here, pup! Even most Thuls don’t respect us!”
“All the more reason to run.”
“Want me to put in the request?”
“Yes, please!” Gustab felt relieved. It was really good to have her do the paperwork. He was far too slow with such things. He thought about Lady Elana, languishing in the shuttle’s belly. He knew she was in for a rough life, if the Baron didn’t come through. He felt a bit sorry for her, but what could you do? Angral was not someone you went up against. Not if you were one of them Darths on the Council.
“There, that’s done!” Eklarie said happily.
“Already?”
She winked, mischief making her face a match for any Dromund Kaas idol. “I had most of this ready before we even took off.”
“You, my muffin, are a real treasure,” he said happily, and she gave a growl of a laugh in response.
“Take me now, puppy. Remind me of that first time we made love together, in Overseer Harkun’s bed!”
He moved to comply, tugging off her cloak and pauldrons… when they were interrupted by a servant.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you, Dark Lords. Baron Thul has returned.”
“Already? That was bloody fast!”
“Guess that Jedi really is a softie!”
Eklarie hurriedly straightened her robes as they half-ran to the baron’s personal landing pad.
They waited with bated breath as the ramp opened, and out marched the wolf himself, leading the disgusting-looking alien.
“Would you look at that, muffin? It’s mewling like a lost calf!”
“Yes,” Eklarie shook with suppressed laughter. “Filthy alien.” She marched up to the thing and spat in its face. The baron slapped her so hard, she fell to the floor.
“He is my prisoner for the time being,” he said sternly. “You remember how I treat my prisoners, don’t you? If you want to show him any disrespect, do so after we’ve made the transfer.”
Eklarie stood up and saluted lamely. “Yes, Baron, sir!”
“Where is Elana?”
“She is inside the shuttle, Your Highness,” Gustab replied.
“Is it in your authority to release her, now that we have the prisoner?”
“No, sir. We have to wait until Angral’s satisfied.”
A vein throbbed in the man’s temple. He looked like he desperately wanted to argue, but didn’t. Gustab almost breathed a sigh of relief. He did not want to oppose the man again, anytime soon.
“Let’s get on with this, then,” the baron grumbled. “Are we to be taken to Darth Angral’s ship?”
“I don’t know, Your Highness. His shuttle, his men.”
“Fine. Let us board, then. But at least allow Elana to travel with me, rather than in the brig.”
“I—I’ll see what we can do, Your Highness.”
As it happened, securing her semi-release was a simple enough thing. There was nothing they could do, now that they were en route. The duke comforted her with assurances of safety, but Gustab wondered why he would do something so reckless as give a false promise like this. He had zero control over what was to come.
The Jedi was locked inside the cell, shooting dangerous glances at his captors, who all jeered and mocked him.
They were Sith, of course. Of higher standing than Gustab, but not by much. Underlings and minions of the great Darth. He recognized FimmRess, who had long served as Duke Kendoh’s bodyguard.
“Just look at that Jedi, boys!” he roared. “Shaking in its boots!”
“Like a little bantha cub!”
“Not much of a threat, is it?”
“If it’s scared now, just wait until Angral gets his mitts on it!”
At the mention of Angral’s name, it was as if a mask slipped off the Jedi’s face for a moment. There was no fear there, only a contempt deeper than the spice mines of Kessel. But Gustab blinked, and it was gone. For a brief moment, he had a bad feeling—then he heard a girl’s voice whisper into his ear “You will forget what you just saw.”
“I… will… forget…”
*
Somewhere on Alderaan
“What’s the meaning of this?” Jharkus demanded. “We’re not even leaving Alderaan?”
“I thought you’d be happy,” the pilot drawled. “You don’t have to meet Angral in person. Of course we’re not rendezvousing with his ship! We’re meeting up with Lord Nefarid! He will send you on our way.”
“Nefarid?” Jharkus rolled the name in his head in disgust. “The man who killed Duke Horis.”
“The same,” one of the Sith entering the cockpit grinned. “You Thuls and your petty ambitions mean nothing to us, if you don’t give us Alderaan. And he was willing to call off the war entirely. But you’re different, aren’t you? A real warrior! Cooperate, and you won’t face the same fate as him.”
No doubt it was meant to cow Jharkus, but all it did was strengthen his resentment.
He wondered what would happen now. If he and the boy were separated… This would all be for naught. Well, his Family would certainly be saved if Vajra was safely handed over, but there would be no retribution of any kind.
Lost in his thoughts, Jharkus only realized they’d landed when the pilot turned and grinned. “End of the line. For some of you, at least. But how many?”
Jharkus gave him a frosty stare until he flinched. “You think you’re clever and intimidating, but you’re not. To be truly strong, you need to be able to threaten people under your own banner. Stop trying to borrow your Master’s notoriety.”
*
Lord Nefarid waited with eager anticipation for his guests to arrive. He swirled the cherries in his cocktail, humming the happiest tune to himself. It had only been a few days ago, when he captured that meddlesome Jedi Master. To think he now had the Padawan too… oh, happy day!
“Orgus Din thoroughly managed to spoil my fun by destroying those antennae,” he railed, repeating the same line for the third time this week, just in case his Master’s spies were listening. “The gall! What right does he have to spoil my fun? Isn’t that right, Alayna dear?” He sniffed in annoyance. “Hmm. And I thought you were poor company before I freed you.”
The flayed corpse of his minion stared back mutely, unable to answer. It simply floated in the case he’d stuck it inside, which arrested her putrefaction.
“I will be made Darth for this, you mark my words! Angral will thank me for being the only one of his Apprentices capable of dealing with the thorn in his side!” He turned towards the door as they yawned, and in walked the Sith minions whose names he hadn’t bothered to memorize. In their midst was the Jedi himself, as hideous as he was weak. His own lackeys looked up from their work to see the procession.
Behind him was the man known as the Wolf Baron, and he exuded anger in every breath he took. Good. The Sith in him approved of that anger. It could be used when focused. The man had spine and ability, by all accounts, but he was too caught up in meaningless tripe like honor.
“Ah, welcome, Jedi! I was just telling Alayna how happy I was to have you as my guest.”
The Jedi looked at the body next to Nefarid’s throne and sighed. “You’re not a very imaginative Sith, are you? I bet you do this to try and appear mighty and dangerous. An inherited trait, no doubt.”
Nefarid chuckled. “Oh, I wasn’t trying to intimidate you. I just happen to like this woman. She made the most exquisite faces as I killed her. The horror, the pain, the sense of hope as I promised her a second chance!” Nefarid’s laughter boomed throughout the lair.
“Right, you’re just as sick a thug as Sadic,” the alien shook its head. “Where’s Angral? Or is he too scared to show up?”
The Sith around him reared in outrage, but Nefarid waved them back. “What does it matter? We have you. I have orders to hand you over to him once I’ve thoroughly tortured you into submission. My Lord does not like exerting his strength to quash every little bug.”
“If I’m a bug, what is Tarnis? And what are Sadic and Praven, whom I beat so easily? Come, come, Nefarid. You know, don’t you? Angral is past his glory years. That is why you seek to replace him, someday. In fact—” the Jedi straightened up. “Angral isn’t staying away because of just me, is he? He doesn’t want to be near this world so long as the Death Mark is here too. He knows you can kill him, if you happen to have it operational.”
Nefarid was now staring at the boy. “I think it’s better to deliver you to my Master in pieces. Cut off his hands and legs!”
The boy sprang into motion, though he wasn’t the only one. The Wolf Baron threw one of the Sith over his shoulder and pulled his blaster from his belt. One of the Sith attempted to stab the alien, but it evaded him and broke her arms. As she fell to the ground screaming, the boy ignited her Lightsaber and attacked his captors. All eight of them.
Nefarid was alarmed by his skill. That level of swordsmanship was far beyond his capabilities! It was good that he had his trump card.
His hands went for his belt—only to find the device missing. What? I could have sworn that—
Using the Death Mark would be confirmation that he had gotten it working again, and had indeed been hoping to kill Darth Angral with it when he turned over Orgus Din. But there was no secret that couldn’t be kept by killing all witnesses!
“Where is it? Where is it?” he feverishly hurled aside all the tools and books on his desk searching for the targeting device, but couldn’t find it. “I could have sworn…” He quickly looked over at all the places he could think of, where he might have left it, only to be disappointed. Of all the rotten luck!
He looked up to find his own guards had joined the fracas, but it was going badly. The Jedi’s blur of a blade had already killed more than half his opposition, and the baron’s blaster had shot down all of the regulars. With only three guards left fighting, Nefarid had to make a decision.
“Confound it all!” He moved to cloak himself. He still had that, at least! And he had tricked even the great Master Orgus with it—
His scream filled his ears. Right after he had blended in with his surroundings, a small, focused beam of red light had shone down on his foot, leaving a hole about the size of his thumb. “IMPOSSIBLE!” As he cursed and stumbled, he thought he heard a girl giggle.
*
Jharkus was nonplussed by the Sith Nefarid’s loud scream of pain. What could have happened? His inattention would have normally gotten him killed, but the Jedi was fighting the last of his enemies, one of Nefarid’s dogs, whom he had never seen before.
There was a pile of bodies around them, dead Sith who had thought they had a wounded vorn tiger cub, when instead they were looking at bait. They had dropped their pride easily enough. That one called FimmRess had soiled himself when he realized he was outmatched, but had been killed before he could surrender.
“What happened?” Baron Thul asked his temporary ally, who grinned.
“Come out, Kira.”
The baron jumped as a redheaded girl materialized out of thin air, holding some small device in her hand. “I was certain you could dodge that, boss. But I didn’t want to take that wager.”
“I owe you one. You made the right call,” the alien told her, before turning back to Jharkus. “I had expected you to demand my surrender in exchange for the prisoners. I wanted an ace up my sleeve in case Angral asked you to turn me over to him.”
“You’re no fool, I see.”
“Hardly, Angral is just that predictable.” He snorted. “Now. Is that fool of a Sith awake?”
The woman called Kira slapped the man’s face lightly, then shook him hard until he woke. He groaned, trying to cradle his foot, which Jharkus now saw had a huge smoking hole in it.
“Where is your Master?” the boy asked.
“I don’t know,” Nefarid whimpered. “I was supposed to call him when you’d been beaten into submission. He would have sent another shuttle for you—”
“How typical,” the Jedi groaned. “Can you at least tell me how to reach him? A message, perhaps?”
The Sith squealed like a stuck-up brat getting his first taste of consequences.
“Wait, it doesn’t matter,” the boy shook his head. “The message I have, is one I want the entire galaxy to hear.” He walked up to the man’s holoterminal and hit transmit.
“What is the meaning of this, ‘Darth’ Angral?” He asked the camera, stressing on the title as though it was the punchline a poor joke. “I was handed to you on a silver platter, but you were too scared to show up and collect me! I thought you wanted revenge for your son? Is this all your rage is worth? Some might call you cautious, but I am starting to see what my Master meant when he called you a coward. You’re so afraid of dying, you won’t even face a teenager! All you can do is act tough in the depths of the cesspit you call your stronghold. You know, don’t you? That if you face me in combat, you will be beaten so badly, all your legends and myths will be replaced by mocking tales of Darth Angral the pitiful. You want to prove me wrong? Come to Alderaan and face me. Show the galaxy how a Darth marches to his death… but what am I saying?” He laughed scornfully. “You’d never do something that reckless! Because you’re a weakling, and a coward, too scared to crawl past the event that left you traumatized all those years ago. So, by all means! Continue to hide in your own trash. I will rip you screaming and weeping from your presumed fortress, and show the galaxy the caliber of man you’re not. Farewell, false Darth.”
With that, he destroyed the terminal. The woman clucked her tongue. “You don’t think that was a bit much, boss? We both know he’s a coward, but he’s also a slave to his own emotions. He’s gonna try and hurt you by striking at soft targets.”
“I didn’t think of that,” the boy looked a bit sheepish. “I just want this to be done!”
“A word of advice, Jedi,” Jharkus said. “Take it from a Thul; we spent decades before we finally got our chance. Just because a confrontation, or any event, seems inevitable or destined, doesn’t mean it won’t take a lifetime to come to fruition. Don’t try to rush things just because you’re eager to make it end. The Great War is another example; your Grand Master fought Malgus again and again, but it only ever led to fat nothings. You might think yourself Angral’s nemesis—or any big Sith’s—but that doesn’t mean your clash will arrive just because you wound their pride.”
The Jedi heard all he had to say, then nodded with a heartfelt sigh. “I know, I know. I’m not that stupid. But I am hoping that Angral is. Or that he’s blinded by my provocation.”
“If only it were that simple.”
Elana stirred. “Uncle… did you seriously have all this planned? How? When?”
Jharkus made a gesture telling her to slow down. “As much as I love to take credit for this, it was all the Jedi’s idea. I was too shaken to properly make the threat, and he noticed it. He took pity on me, on us, and offered to help me rescue you. I suppose there is no shortage of good men in the galaxy.”
“Getting to Nefarid was a bonus,” the boy smiled. “Not as big as finally stopping Angral, but I’m happy this last weapon is back in our hands. Kira, can you blow it up?”
The woman nodded. “Easily. The satellite comes with a remote self-destruct, just in case. The Death Mark laser is about to become scrap.”
“Target the equipment first,” the Jedi ordered. “Not a single byte of data must be recoverable after we’re done.”
“Got it.”
“We’ll be taking Nefarid, if it’s okay with you,” the boy said. “And destroying this compound.”
“You won’t catch me arguing. I’ll take the shuttle back to Thul palace, and order your civilians’ immediate release. I’ll also hand the duke’s body back to the Organas. I’ll go personally.”
Elana shivered, tears appearing in her eyes. “The poor, poor duke! He tried to help me.” She looked at the Jedi. “When Angral looked at me, he stood in between us, as if hoping that could make him forget about me. He offered to take my place as hostage. What kind of galaxy do we live in, when that kind of man is killed so miserably, when wretches like Angral are left untouched?”
The Jedi gave her a long, sorry look. “I’m sorry for your anguish,” he said. “I’m sorry for all the innocents and the good who are dying in this war. It’s why I want to ki—to stop Angral as soon as I can. I know that the longer this goes on, the more people die at his grubby hands.”
Elana sniffed, wiping her eyes. “I don’t blame you. You are barely more than a child, and you are still—” She wiped her face, then gave him a look filled with fire and determination. “I’m done with the Sith. It may take me a lifetime, but I swear I will extricate myself and my family from their mad Magocracy.”
“I wish you well in that endeavour.”
As Jharkus led Elana out, he began speaking to her. “That was a bold declaration, child. It will take time to build up the strength needed to bear it. I hope you survive those years.”
“I hope you will teach me, Uncle.”
“I’m afraid I can’t, child. Duke Organa was my responsibility. I must answer for his death, and his body’s desecration.”
She looked at him with eyes full of distress, but he talked over her.
“Don’t give me that look; if I don’t do this, any lesson I give you is worthless. Remember who I am. Not the Wolf, but the Baron.”
“Honor, fidelity, integrity,” she looked on the edge of tears again.
“That’s right. How can I pretend to be any of that, if I don’t give myself up to the Organas?” he shook hhis head. “No. I must do this.”
Elana held back her tears, she simply nodded. She gave him a fierce smile. “I should have expected no less, my dearest Uncle.”
“When I saw your potential, I knew you deserved to be my heir. I hoped I’d have time to teach you all I knew. Alas, I only had a few days. But I do think you received a crash course. Not just from me, but Duke Charle as well. Remember him, and remember me. His compassion, his courage, my honor, my integrity. Those are what it takes to be a great ruler.”
“I will try, Uncle. And I swear, that when I am done, House Thul will no longer be beholden to those pigs in the Empire!”
“Good. Take it one step at a time until you’re good and ready. But when you are, do not hesitate. I have faith, that you will emerge triumphant.”
*
Aboard the Oppressor
Darth Angral, the second-greatest Sith of the era, breathed so heavily that spittle flew from his snarling lips. Sweat poured down his furrowed brow, and his ignited Lightsaber trembled in his clenched fist.
Several of his trusted servants lay dead around him, including Admiral Hacklin.
The alien’s provocation had struck home, had left him eager to meet his enemy head-on. But his servants had gotten in his way, and he had cut them down in his fury.
Hacklin’s last words had been of disbelief. “In the end, this is all your friendship is worth, my Lord?” But Angral could not care.
“You… you got in my way! You…” He turned to his bridge. “Set course for Alderaan. Now!”
“We can’t, Dark Lord!” the helmsman whimpered. “Admiral Hacklin locked the controls before he died. We need to perform a full system reset, and that will take four weeks!” He was silenced by Angral’s Lightsaber entering his gut.
“GET US UNDERWAY!” He howled.
“You can kill them all, if it makes you happy,” the holo on his left said snidely. “But then you’ll be stuck here… forever. Even the Force can’t help you run a ship this size, by yourself. Not that it was ever your servant. Nepotism was all that got you where you are today. Besides, didn’t you hear your helmsman? Your ship is locked!”
“Shut your trap, Malgus!”
The Sith on the other end just laughed. “Touchy, touchy! Is that how you beg someone for help?”
“I am not begging!”
“You should be!” Malgus gloated. “The Jedi’s words were so accurate, he might have been trained to be a Black Requiem Sniper! You are weak, you are pathetic, and now the whole galaxy has heard it! Because you have lost the strongest pillars of your power base. Praven, Nefarid, Sadic. Because you fight from the most secure portion of the back lines. Because you are afraid of your own Apprentices. And because you allowed a fifteen-year-old to challenge you, and could not respond.”
“You’ve had your fun, Malgus. Ease off.” Darth Barras was ever a thorn in Angral’s backside, so he wasn’t calling off Malgus out of any goodwill. “You know that you can’t attack him directly, don’t you? You need to finish constructing the Desolator. That is the Emperor’s decree.”
“What do you have to gain from my victory, Baras?”
“Other than the annihilation of our enemies? Nothing. But it occurs to me, that if a Darth such as yourself fails while all eyes are upon you, it’s a blow to the authority of us all. Watch your back, Angral. Try not to die until you’ve served your limited purpose. Remember; the Emperor won’t stop you this time.”
“Good. Good. Every Jedi in the Galaxy will die. And that boy… his death will be slow, painful, and above all, satisfying.”
“More promises, as usual,” Malgus sighed. “You no longer have capable servants to throw at your problems. Do not forget that all of your victories in the war were because of me. I handed you Coruscant and Korriban. I broke through Alderaan and Balmorra. Now, you are all alone. You may be a coward and a blowhard, but try to learn some self-awareness, even this late in your life. You will not win by playing at being a true Sith. Finish your project, then attack from the cover of darkness. Try to shiver as you do it. That is your path to victory."
"Despite his taunts, that is actually sound advice, cowardly one,” Barras laughed heartily. “I suggest you get back to it. Oh, and don’t expect replacements for the officers you’ve just slain. The Empire is supposed to have washed its hands of you, remember? Do not call us again, until you have your prototype ready.”
Both holos disappeared, and Angral was left to continue his fuming. Around him, his hapless crew barely breathed as they waited for the shoe to fall. More than one pair of trousers had been drenched, but no one dared try to leave the bridge. All they could do, was hope their Lord calmed down. And soon.
“Perform that full reset,” Angral said hoarsely. “I will be in my chambers.” He turned on his heel and walked out. As one, his crew breathed a sigh of relief.
*
Organa Castle
Vajra called Major Var Suthra immediately after informing the Organas of what had transpired. He only had to wait a couple of minutes before he was put through.
“Well done, Master Jedi! With this, the last remaining project has been kept out of Angral’s hands!”
“Our info was wrong. He had the laser working the whole time. The only reason why you didn’t see mass murder and mayhem run loose on Alderaan, was because Nefarid had hoped to use it on Angral.”
“To think that Alayna Hark managed to get him enough information for him to replace that antenna so quickly…”
“Enemy espionage showed its skill every step of the way. I’ll repeat what I said before; invest in security before you go for weapons.”
“Given my failures, I have no choice but to take that to heart. This has been… a humbling experience.”
“What will you do now?”
“I will have to submit all of my files to an oversight committee and prepare to be judged. Thankfully, the task has been taken on by Supreme Commander Rans himself. He worries that a Senator might try to steal some of the information.”
“And leave us back in square one.”
“Exactly. I will be evaluated for having allowed so many, many security breaches, as well as the unethical projects like the Power Guard. If I’m lucky, I will be allowed to continue serving at my present rank. If I’m unlucky, I might be dishonorably discharged. Worst case scenario, I might face imprisonment.”
“I can advocate for you—”
“No need, Master Jedi. I will face the consequences of my actions and failures.”
“I see. Good luck to you then.”
“What about you? What’s next for the triumphant hero?”
“I have been asked to receive Duke Organa’s body and Baron Thul’s surrender, in my capacity as Paladin. I will also be leading the funeral proceedings tomorrow.”
“A real honor. One you most definitely deserve.”
“Thank you for saying so, Major.”
“One thing’s for sure; my part may be over, but yours is not. Not until you’ve stopped Angral himself. I will continue to follow your career with great interest. Var Suthra out.”
Kira stretched out like a cat once the transmission had ended, and sprawled onto the sofa. “Maaan, that feels great! I think I need to order myself something cool. Staying cloaked for that long was a little taxing.”
“You did splendidly, Kira. You saved my life, too. And gave Nefarid the shock of his life! Did you manage to record it?”
She pointed at her belt, which was hanging from a chair several meters away. “I’ll show you tomorrow.”
“The Master orders…”
“Screw you. Just this once, I’m pretending we’re not Master and Padawan. Are you gonna take that from me?"
"I guess not. Want me to massage your forehead?"
"My shoulders and feet, too. Thanks. You’re a good kid.”
*
#star wars#the old republic#star wars the old republic#swtor#fanfic#fanfiction#jedi knight#hero of tython#swtorhub
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(vee)xation | Vee | Trial 2.4 | Re: Nao, Manami, Avery
By all accounts, Vivian Lockwood is already having a shite day, and Nao’s outburst triggers a look of genuine hurt on their face that will likely have consequences down the line.
It’s only Manami’s interruption that stops Vee from immediately turning on them, and while part of him still wants to scream and shout and rage, the anger instead pools itself together and freezes up. Hatred doesn’t boil bright and burn red with them, and instead the newfound iciness in their tone shows just how upset they really are with what the Secretary has to say. "I am very well aware t-that if we get this wrong, s-someone innocent will take the f-fall, but the same is true if w-we vote for Frank and that is the wrong o-option. Nothin’ we’ve brought up so far c-can absolutely prove or disprove one t-theory or another, so is it so wrong to w-want to cling to what shreds of h-hope we have that this trial c-can end without further death? That I can b-believe there isn’t enough e-evidence to prove that someone else here is d-directly or indirectly responsible?“
Their breathing evens out, less shallow than it was before. "Besides, I’m not tryin’ to m-make the decision for you. Or t-tell you it is the only r-right decision that m-must be made. What Avery a-and the others have said so far h-has enough merit that I am c-convinced, if that’s the kind of c-confirmation you’re lookin’ for.” Vee’s tone abruptly shifts as they narrow their eyes. “But don’t c-condescend to me and make it out l-like I don’t know what’s at s-stake for all of our l-lives. If you push hard on F-Frank because you’re unconvinced t-that he didn’t do it, you’re also hedgin’ y-your life on that outcome. I wouldn’t h-have volunteered for that either, and you’ve t-taken that choice away from not just me but the r-rest of us tryin’ to a-argue in good faith that we think t-this outcome is the right one. For our selfish r-reasons, perhaps, but I didn’t come t-to this fuckin’ trial room prepared to s-save lives.”
(cw: implied mouth trauma) A fresh trail of blood dribbles at their lips. They absently brush it off, when did that happen?
“Perry had h-her own skills. I’m f-fairly certain she used one a-at one point to restore her s-sap body construct, somethin’ I’m c-certain you were there for, Mx. Smith,” Vee notes quietly. “I also believe t-this is an accident because Frank would h-have to had seen Perry, m-made a split-second decision to e-enter the craftin’ room and zero in the b-blasted Shatterstone in the m-minutes after when she m-made it to the room - which considerin’ her path w-went through the Housin’ and the L-Library, took at least a w-while - and then kill her w-with the stone before h-hurryin’ back to the Orchard. There's also b-blood on the shelf where the stone o-once was, and unless s-someone could wash their hands v-very quickly I don't see how or why s-someone other than Pears grabbed it. Whether or not you d-don’t believe is no longer up to m-me.”
They’re so tired, and yet the first thing they plan to do after this trial is over is camp outside the Bound Housing and wait for their best friend to wake up. That is, assuming they don’t end up as one of its residents alongside her when the votes are read.
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And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb
(HAH CHEESY ASS TWILIGHT QUOTE BOOM)
Steven Grant/Jake Lockley x reader
~~~~
Your eyes are as round as saucers, a look of pure awe plastered across your usually stoic face. Your classmates are all gabbing on about the exhibits, but your eyes are dead locked onto one of the many Taweret plushies tucked on a shelf against the back wall of the gift shop. The States never had cute shit like this unless you went to a zoo. You’re thankful that you’re wearing boots with platforms because you spot an extra CHONK of a Taweret nestled on the top shelf. It’s a stretch but you think might be able to reach it. Your black-painted lips purse, arm outstretched. You’ve almost got it… almost-
Steven hadn’t expected a busy day for work, but that had all been shattered the moment Donna dropped a bomb on him that an American College was going to be visiting while on their class trip. Luckily you lot weren’t rowdy in the slightest. He turns after finishing a delightful conversation with your teacher, only for his eyes to instantly fall on you. Your knee high boots- fishnets- black skirt and tshirt. His mouth went instantly dry. It was almost as if Steven’s brain was short circuiting for moment. Your body was stretched as far as it could go, your Black painted nails outstretched in a desperate attempt to reach one of the super stuffed Taweret plushies. Steven quickly walks over to you, his hands behind his back, nervously pulling and twitching at each other.
“ ‘scuse me, miss? May I?”
You turn to look at him, bright eyes locking with his.
Oh….. his accent….
Your heart leaps into your throat and you turn to him.
Stevens eyes settle on your face. You’re beautiful- the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on, if he dare says. He’s completely vexed by you- your dark make up that makes your eyes pop, the velvety black of your lips that remind him of the night sky.
His been staring at your lips this whole time.
Bollocks.
There’s a very obviously blush on your cheeks, you can actually feel it stinging against your skin and you have to force yourself not to break out in a nervous giggle. Okay- so the whole British accent thin is just really attractive to you, but this man- he himself radiates attractiveness. He seems kind- shy- soft spoken, and where usually that wouldn’t do anything for you- it’s something about him that just feels… good?
“Y-yeah”
Your voice is a soft whisper at first but you correct yourself instantly.
“Yes, actually uh- I would really love some help. I um-“
You blush even darker and Steven can’t help but find it absolutely delightful.
“I want that really over stuffed Taweret… I’m just short. Even with these”
You kick out your leg a bit to emphasize your point, giving him an up close view of your supple skin, wrapped perfectly in black, thin roped material. He really hopes his gulp isn’t audible.
It is, and it cause a white-hot adrenalin to course through your veins. He shoots you a grin, and you notice the little almost-gap between his teeth. That, matched with his kind eyes and cute nose… and that messy hair-
“No worries, I’ll get it down for ya in a jiffy yeah?”
He steps in front of you, barley having to stretch at all- but when his does….
Oh. My. God.
His ass is perfect. You curse yourself for eyefucking a total stranger. This was your first day in London and already you were fawning over a British man. It was hard to explain, but it felt more than just the usual shy charm you’ve felt speaking with anyone else.
“Ah- there we go!”
He turns to you, a wide, toothy grin stretching across his freshly saved face.
“I present to you, Taweret, the Goddess of Childbirth and Fertility. She’s a good one.”
He winks at you. You almost die on the spot.
“Thank you… I- um Im (Y/N) by the way and you’re Steven,,? Ah! your name badge.”
You point to your chest, as if you yourself are wearing a name tag. He leans in, a playful glint in his eye.
“Yeah… with a V. None of that PH shite”
You actually try to stop yourself from bursting into laughter by clamping your mouth shut, but fail miserably.
“How long will you be gracin’ London with your presence?”
Your shyness has slowly transform into a warmth that envelopes your entire emotional being. It’s an odd sensation.
“I’ll be here for two weeks with my school but I’m not sure if I’m going home with everyone else. It’s our summer trip, I saved up enough to stay longer. Why go back when I can spend the entire summer somewhere new… besides..”
you hold the overstuffed hippo close to your chest. “I haven’t gotten to really see everything the measuem has to offer..”
Steven guides you to the check out counter. He scans the gift shop to make sure everything is still in order (which it is) before returning his attention to you.
“You like Egyptian Mythology then, yeah?”
“Always have. Since I was a child I’ve always been really interested in the history and ancient customs- it’s fascinating. Like they really just take a hook and-“
“Rip everything’ out the ol’ nozzle”
Your laugh gives Steven butterflies in his stomach. It’s silent again for a moment. He takes the soft plushie, ringing it up. He doesn’t bother putting it in a bag, he knows you’ll want to hold onto it. You hand him your Visa card, fingers brushing across each other slightly. This entire time all you’d been able to see was him, and all he could see was you. He didn’t want you to leave.
“U-Um”
The two of you start at the same time. Tucking your hair behind your ear, you look up at him. You don’t want go back to your hotel. You want to stay with him. He looks as if he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. You thank him again, clutching your Taweret close and turning to walk towards your classmates. You feel deflated, as if you’d just come down from a high like no other.
Your body jolts when you feel a large, warm hand on your shoulder.
“Wait.”
When you turn its Steven. His brow is furrowed a bit, his posture completely different than moments ago.
“Estoy enamorada”
You blink, suddenly cursing yourself for not paying attention in High School Spanish. What little you did learn you can’t remember.
“I dont understand…?”
He grins, handing you a piece of ripped receipt paper.
“Dinner, mi Amore.”
His number is scrawled across it. Your cheeks burn once more, something He seems to notice. You take out your phone, trying to calm the shaking of your fingers as you input the number. Y
“Cute British accent and you know Spanish? That’s the language of love I hear”
Your little quip earns a hearty chuckle from him. The noise makes your insides twist delightfully. Your classmates have already left you behind, no doubt walking to your hotel just across the street.
“I have to go but my evenings and nights are free. I’ll text you. Thank you for all your help”
He watches as you run to catch up with your peers, licking his lips. Jake knows he won’t be in control long- but he wasn’t gonna let Steven miss this chance. You were hot, your body language had been obvious to him, and he swears if he doesn’t get to see that black lipstick wrapped around his—-
You send him a text with your name, to which he replies with a time and address. You’re unfamiliar with where everything is, thank god for Uber. Your closer classmates playfully tease you about “The Gift Shop Man” in the elevator.
“Go get you some British dick girl, you know I’m right there with ya.”
“Oh shut the fuck up!”
You both laugh, chatting about Steven the entire way to your room. Once inside you kick off your giant boots and peel your fishnets off, tossing them on a chair. With Taweret tightly tucked under your nose and chin you fall onto your back, body bouncing against the mattress. With eyes closed you take a deep inhale. Much to your delight it smells like him.
#moonknight#Steven grant#Jake lockely#reader insert#reader#steven grant/reader#Steven grant x reader#Jake lockley x reader#moonknight/reader#moon knight x reader
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hello oh my god HELLO!! insane ask prompt .. there's no coming out of this alive. but 2 or 4!! whichever choose your fav xx
HI YOU. god. well a million years later, i am here xx i'm so so so sorry xx literally nothing happens in this one either they're just smug and obsessed with each other but i don't let them be smug often enough so it felt fair xx went for two in the end xx
There’s this faint white scar, on his chin—it cleaves through his bottom lip, just slightly, and curls downwards. It’s the shape of Norway. Sirius is twelve when he first notices it, over breakfast: orange juice and fried mushrooms and his best friend’s mouth. He’s nineteen, now, when he kisses it, and that’s only in lieu of swallowing it whole.
“I need to show you—” Remus pauses, twists to spit a cherry pit into the souvenir mug they’ve balanced precariously on the chair’s arm, “I need to show you how to use the washing machine.”
Sirius stretches one arm across Remus’ waist; they’re crushed into the bile-yellow armchair they got from a second-hand furniture shop last week—a bargain, even if it took them the best part of the day to drag it, with James’ help, from the shop to their flat—and it’s all a lazy knot of hands and hipbones and dry knees, rucked up shirts and boxer shorts.
Tangle in an old shoelace. They’ve been sitting here, just like this, for hours—dust has settled, most likely. Moss has grown. My heart is like a wheel, drawls the record player.
“Not right now, you don’t.” His nose is digging into Remus’ cheek. He wants to kiss him, wants to kiss his lips and his neck and his eyelids and that lovely curl of hair, just there—which isn’t new—and so, without a second thought, he does—which is.
“Do it later,” he urges. “Won’t take long. I’d like to think I’ve acquired skills in my life thus far that will prove transferable to putting dirty clothes in a big barrel.”
“Well, I’d like to think so too, but then—I also thought you’d acquired skills that would prove transferable to using a hoover, up until last night. And my blind faith ended up making fools of us both, didn’t it?”
Sirius dismisses him with a gesture, plastic palette from the Co-op in hand; the little fruits roll like eyeballs. “You know, I’m starting think you don’t really care all that much about household chores, Moony. You just like seeing what a shite muggle I make, so that you get to be smug about it. It probably helps you cope with the reality that I make such an exceptionally talented wizard.”
“Wow.” Remus chuckles, draws his head back to look at him properly, to present him with this awful little grin—this boyish, tilting, fruit-stained grin. Everything is funny. Even the things that aren't. Days passing like the beats in a knock-knock joke. “You’re exceptionally bloody insufferable, is what you are.”
And, sat here, there’s this thing in Sirius that swells so fiercely; it bucks around inside his chest, which is the drum of a marching band, which is a pinball machine for the cherry pit he accidentally swallowed earlier. Except the cherry pit is his own heart. Except the cherry pit is the entire fucking sun. All orange.
He’s thinking about all that time spent locking themselves in broom cupboards. Co-conspirators, holding hands under the table. Notes passed on balled-up corners of parchment during class, hello, hello I like you do you like me, hello I want to see you lets skive off after lunch, we can snog behind the greenhouses yes/no? (say yes please.)
Today, standing in their very own flat. Putting their hands on each other’s faces. Not once—not fucking once, did Sirius have to check over his shoulder before they did it.
“I don’t think that’s true,” he argues, with a click of his tongue. “You seem to suffer me rather well. Look—you’re wearing my shirt.”
“That’s exactly my point, you fucking twat. All of my shirts are in the laundry,” Remus shoots back, and then—he kisses Sirius, quickly, on the mouth. Once, twice. Smiles, afterwards, as though he’s stolen something from him, and is now holding it out of Sirius’ reach. His stomach, perhaps. His spinal cord.
“What are you smiling about?” Sirius demands, regardless of the fact that he’s doing it to. It’s hard not to. They keep waking up in the same bed. His boyfriend is wearing his shirt. Later, they’re going to do laundry. He pushes his forehead against Remus’. “Stop it.”
“Nothing. I’m not, it’s only—we really live together, properly,” Remus says. He speaks quietly, as though their flat is a beast he is trying not to wake. “We don’t have to pretend anymore. Or sneak around. I just get to—suffer you, all the time.”
It catches Sirius off-guard, makes his face ache. Someone begs, let me roll it!
“Mm, lucky you,” he tries to tease, but it doesn’t land right, it’s all soft in the belly—lacks the snarky, whip-crack delivery he intended. He clears his throat, to punctuate it. Eats another cherry. Red flesh beneath his teeth.
Remus, watching him. His fine brown eyelashes. Sirius’ arm, draped across him. “Yes,” he agrees. “I think so too.”
#oh what i would do for a cherry right now......fruit of the gods i miss them theyre all i lived on this summer. i was eating like.#a palette a day.#anyway this is soooo. theyre so mushy and gross but i think maybe sometimes they deserve to be :-/ idk you be the judge xx#r/s#my fic#ridi drabbles
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Day 124: Joke
"Draco?" Harry asked as he twisted his fingers in Draco's hair.
He hummed, feeling too content and comfortable to use any actual words or even lift his head from where it was resting over Harry's heart. Lightly he trailed his fingers over Harry's rib cage in response.
"Do you think-" he broke off and Draco felt him swallow, "I want to tell my friends about us."
He froze for a moment, unable to quite believe his ears.
"Or not," he said hurriedly, "If you're not-"
Draco sat up and pressed his lips to Harry's because he knew it was the fastest way to get him to stop talking. And because he couldn't quite believe that he would ever be someone that the other man would want to tell the world about, he'd never imagined Harry would be proud to be with him.
Harry sighed into the kiss, wrapping Draco tighter in his arms.
When Draco pulled back he said, "Do you mean it?"
The corner of Harry's mouth tipped up and he nodded, "If it's okay with you." He brushed his fingers over Draco's cheek, "I really like you," he confessed, "and it just keeps getting harder and harder not to tell my friends how happy you make me."
Draco swallowed past the lump in his throat, "Really?" he whispered.
Harry nodded, tucking a strand of Draco's hair behind his ear. "Would you come with me? Maybe we could go out to dinner with them?"
"Yeah," he said, "Yes, if you want me to."
"I'd like that," Harry replied.
"Can we tell my friends, too?"
The smile that Harry gave him made him a little breathless, "If you want to."
"I'll owl them tomorrow."
Harry kissed him again and if they didn't get much more talking and planning done for a while after that who could blame them? They had far better things to do.
(Read more below the cut)
As fate would have it, they went out to brunch with Pansy, Blaise, and Greg first. They met at a muggle restaurant that wasn't far from Harry's apartment and when they arrived, Draco's friends were quite taken off guard by Harry's presence.
Harry held the door for them and Draco stepped through, Pansy following close behind and hissing, "What the bloody hell is Potter doing here?"
"Relax," he said, hooking her arm through his and following the hostess to a table.
After they ordered drinks Draco cleared his throat, "There's something I wanted to tell all of you," he started and Harry draped his arm over the back of the chair behind him, brushing his thumb over Draco's tricep in a silent show of support. "Harry and I are dating," he said, glancing over at Harry and giving him a little smile.
"I'm sorry?" Pansy asked and Draco glanced over at his friends' shocked faces.
"We've been seeing each other for a few months," he said.
"And we're serious about each other," Harry added.
Draco nodded, "So we thought it was time to start telling our friends."
Pansy blinked at him and Blaise was still staring with his jaw dropped but Greg just nodded, "Congratulations."
"Thank you," Harry said with a smile at Greg.
Greg looked between the two of them, gave a nod, then opened his menu, "So what's good here?" he asked and Harry started to list off some of the dishes they'd enjoyed when they'd come on lazy Saturday mornings.
He glanced across the table to find Pansy still staring with an inscrutable look and Draco felt a tingle of apprehension at the base of his spine.
Everything was fine while they ordered and ate their breakfasts, it wasn't until Harry got up to use the loo that Pansy started to speak frankly.
"Draco, you're not serious," she hissed.
"About?"
"You dating Harry Potter! This is an elaborate joke, even for you, how on earth did you manage to convince him to go along with it?"
He shook his head, "I'm completely serious. We ran into each other at work, started talking and realized how much we enjoyed doing that. Then we started fucking and realized how much we enjoyed doing that too. And it just makes sense," he said with a little shrug. "We spend all of our free time together and I can't even remember the last time I slept in my own flat-"
"Draco, be reasonable," Blaise said. "He can't possibly," he broke off as though he didn't want to finish that sentence.
"He can't possibly what?" Draco asked, putting years of practice making his voice sound cold as ice to good use.
"Darling, it's just that you're you," she said, "And he's Harry bloody Potter."
"The press is going to destroy you," Blaise added. "Imagine those headlines."
Pansy shook her head, "And not only that but don't you think that Potter is going to end up with someone that the wizarding world will approve of? A wife who'll give him three kids, a home, the whole nine yards."
"I think it's nice," Greg said. "He looks happy, you look happy. What more is there?"
"Thanks, Greg," he replied with a nod.
"Oh sure, trust the person who's been single all his life to give you dating advice," Pansy said, rolling her eyes. "By all standards, he's too good for you and everyone knows it."
Blaise cleared his throat then, "What do you all think of ordering a few of those delicious looking cinnamon buns to share?" he asked.
"Sounds good to me," Harry replied as he slid back into his seat and bumped his knee against Draco's. "The only real question is if you want the iced ones or the honey ones," he said, turning to look at Draco, "What do you think, love?" he asked.
Draco looked at him and something cracked in his heart, Pansy and Blaise were right. Harry Potter was a dream and it couldn't last. He swallowed, "Let's do the iced one."
He supposed a little while longer before he talked some sense into Harry wouldn't hurt too much.
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Harry was in a great mood when they got back to his flat. "Well," he said as he toed his shoes off at the door, "That went well, didn't it?" he asked.
He didn't reply, he just stared at the other man and wondered how to tell him that they were never going to be able to work.
"Tea?" Harry asked, oblivious to Draco's inner turmoil as he headed into the kitchen without waiting for a response.
"You should break up with me," he blurted.
Whatever Harry had been holding shattered as it hit the floor. "Shite," he murmured. "Reparo." Then he returned to where Draco was still standing, a few feet away from the door. "I'm sorry?" he asked.
Draco couldn't quite meet his eye, "You should break up with me now," he said, "Before either of us can get more invested."
"Draco, what-?"
He shook his head and a tear slipped out, "You're too good for me, Harry, and when the press catches wind of this-"
"Stop it," Harry said, clasped Draco's shoulders, "What on earth has gotten into you?"
"Even my friends, the people who have loved me through some pretty dark places, say it's true!" he exclaimed, "Even my friends think you're too good for me, that I'm being delusional."
Harry took his hands in his and it was only then that Draco realized he was trembling. "Hey," he murmured, leaning in so their foreheads were touching. "Your friends are arseholes. I am not too good for you. Draco, I can't even match my socks properly."
And it was such a ridiculous thing to say that a startled laugh burst from his mouth.
Harry tilted his head up to kiss his nose. "Look, they won't be the last people who spout of complete nonsense about us. I'm sure that comes with the territory," he added. "But it doesn't change who you are."
"An ex-death eater," he said. "A school bully, a complete-"
"That's not who you are," Harry said, leaning back so he could see Draco more clearly. "It might have been a part of who you were but it's not who you are." He pressed a kiss to Draco's cheek, "You are brilliant," he said, "and you are gorgeous, and you're kind. And you've got a wicked sense of humor. You're passionate and you work hard."
"I've had to."
Harry nodded, "You're not the boy you were when we were in school just as I'm not the boy that I was when we were in school."
"But people will always remember-"
"What they think or remember doesn't matter," he said. "Because I know who you are and I don't give a rat's arse about what they think."
"I don't know, Harry," he said softly. "My past-"
"Do you think I'm the person they paint me to be?" he asked.
Draco shook his head, "Of course not but the wizarding world isn't going to accept this."
"I love you," he said simply. "And you, as you are, are more than enough."
"It's not going to be easy," Draco said softly.
The other man kissed him softly, "You're probably right," he said. "But I'm all in, if you are."
He pulled Harry into a tight hug and Harry hugged him back, "I'm in," he whispered.
"Then that's all we need," Harry said with a nod.
And Harry was right their friends came around but they found that they could weather the storms. There wasn't any trial or challenge they couldn't overcome when they were both willing to fight for the other.
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Day 123: Feather | Day 125: Accidental Bonding (Part 1)
#100 drarry drabbles in 100 days#one year of drarry drabbles#drarry ficlet#drarry drabbles#coming out to friends#love#sorry i'm pretty tired today so this definitely isn't my best work
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Not The Same Person
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You held the now soaking wet picture frame in your shaking hands trying to control your breathing. Wiping away some tears you looked back down to the picture and tried to remember the last time you were happy in your marriage. The couple in the picture were far from the couple you were now. You had known for months now but foolishly you had ignored it, promising yourself it was just a phase and the Chibs you married would come walking back through the door but here you were months later and nothing had changed.
You couldn’t remember the last time he had kissed you, the last time he cuddled you, the last time he even showed a morsel of affection. You had tried, god you had tried so hard, but in the end you stopped, it wasn’t worth the embarrassment every time he turned you down. You had tried talking to him about it but he didn’t want to hear it, but tonight you were determined for answers. You couldn’t continue living this way - walking on eggshells around him, constantly thinking that you had done something wrong, for your own sake you needed him to tell you the truth, even if it broke you.
You had been sat numbly on the couch for hours now waiting to hear the familiar sound of Chibs’ bike, the familiar smell of his cologne as he walked through the door, the familiar sound of his accent as he spoke to you. You shook your head willing yourself to forget all about these little things, because you had a feeling that after tonight you would never get to experience them again. You heard the bike and you glanced at your watch. 230am. This was early for Chibs. Lately he wasn’t arriving home until at least 5am so it was a surprise that you didn’t have to wait any longer for him, alone with your feelings.
You heard the key in the door and then you smelt him before you saw him. He went to go straight up stairs but you stopped him. “We need to talk” you said. He stopped in his tracks and gave you a quick glance before shaking his head and continuing up the stairs.
“Not tonight” he answered back, and normally you would have given in but frankly you were exhausted of pretending that everything was ok.
“Yes tonight, come and sit down Filip”. Once again he stopped on the stairs, taking a minute to compose himself before he retreated back down into the living room. He sat on the sofa farthest away from you, something that wasn’t uncommon. He looked you up and down and for a second you thought you saw the flash of sorrow in his eyes but you shook your head, telling yourself you were seeing things that you wanted to see. “I need answers, I want answers” you started. You had discarded the picture frame onto the table infront of you and were playing with your fingers. “What are we even doing?”
Chibs produced a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his greying hair. He knew that this conversation needed to happen, but he wasn’t ready for it yet. The last few months had been hell for him. He had lost a brother, and the club was going from shit to shitter really fast and Jax needed him. He didn’t want to let him down and he was so focused on the club he had forgotten how to be a husband. He wanted to tell you but he didn’t want to drag you in the mess with him, so he decided that being distant and cutting himself of from you was the best way to get through the grief he was feeling, but he was wrong. “Shite with the club has been going down, we lost Opie, Jackie boy needed me” Chibs knew that nothing he could say would make up for how he had treated you recently. “I’m sorry”.
“I’m sorry to hear about Opie, I know how much you loved him, and I wish I could find it in my heart to forgive you, but the truth is I can’t. I have felt so lonely and unwanted the last few months, I have tried talking to you but you gave me nothing back. I understand you have had things going on, but the day you married me you promised that you would always talk to me and love me, that you would share everything with me. What’s a promise if you can’t keep it?”
“I do love ye” he said.
“It’s not enough anymore Filip. I knew what I was getting into when I married you, the first few years were great and you were the loving husband I needed you to be and the club was smooth sailing. Maybe it’s my fault for expecting everything to continue the same way but I just need more. I want more”.
“Can we start over? Scrap the last few months and try again?” The hope in Chibs’ eyes crushed your heart, but you already knew the answer.
“You’re not the same person I married. You know it and so do I”. Chibs nodded. He did know it. He wished he could be the same person he was at the start of the relationship and marriage, but being a part of the Sons meant he had to be a different person. Chibs the Son had to be cold, a killer, and not have a care in the world, and Filip the husband needed to be kind, loving, affectionate and he struggled to be both. He just didn’t know how to admit it and now he knew it was too late.
“I’m so fucking sorry, love”. Chibs stood up and he didn’t hide the fact that he was crying. He walked over to you and knelt down. He leant forward and kissed your forehead and then gently pressed his head against yours.
You lifted his face with your hand and placed a small kiss on his lips. You tasted the mix of salt from both of your tears, whisky and cigarettes. “Take care of yourself Filip, please”.
He stood up and headed towards the front door. “The house is yours” you stopped him. “I’m leaving Charming. My bags are in the car already”.
“At least stay til the mornin’ and til it gets a bit lighter”. You hesitated and Chibs picked up on it. “I’ll take the couch” he added. You gave in and nodded your head. You knew it’d be better to get some sleep before your long drive back home.
@rebelwrites @mrsmarvelous1995 @yourwonkywriter @withmyteeth @redpoodlern @phoenixhalliwell @pancakeisreading @justjuiceyboy @starrynite7114 @glimmerglittergirl @mayans-fics227 @angelreyesisdaddy04 @lexondeck @imagine4creation @encounterthepast @queenbeered @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @jadesamhart @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @est1887
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