#“YOU PUNCH LIKE MY GRANDMA”

[keyh0use]

the fact that this was my first ship speaks volumes, like of course I seek out the most problematic, toxic, aggressive person in a show and pair them with a dramatic, whiny, obnoxious brat. The cycle repeats itself again and again

[lenreli]

Me, seeing this elitist bullshit for the nth time in my Reacher gifsets because people don't know when to shut the fuck up and just thirst instead without getting all "I'm too Enlightened for a show like this": 🙃 I could just easily not gif this "stupid show" if you keep complaining like this, but please. Continue.

[eebie]

guy named august who coughs up little critters depending on his mood and the size depending on the severity . so if he represses somethang for a while it grows to like . godzilla size and it’s really destructive. like the purest form of emotion that acts in his interest but to the extreme. he really dislikes something but never expresses that or deals with it in a healthy way? a critter will find its way out whether he wants it to or not and go. fuckinf destroy it or something. his room is filled with these thangs but they’re all tiny and relatively harmless.

[shrapnarl]

.

quick dreamsnso i can find them later

[ashstar1111]

(VENT) i hate many things but not my grandmas bathroom

so yesterday i went to my grandmas house with my parents, my (3) younger sibs, and my uncle (moms bro) who lives there too, and im at my period (meaning: im in a lot more physical pain than usually), and my sibs were board so they decided to gang up on me and play “lets see who can get a reaction out of Ash” which i was too tired to handle, and then the adults started fighting (im sorry, “DisCUsSinG”) abt politics (were a country with a shit  ton of politic problems so i didnt even bother listening to catch which problem they were arguing abt this time) so at some point i just went to my grandmas bathroom and lie down on the floor for like 50 minutes listening to the argument in the living room while trying not to have a panic attack about like 70 different things untill my second sister noticed i wasnt around and decided to look for me but couldnt find me untill i came out of the bathroom to the hallway.

mmm yes i love friday night dinner with my beloved family :)

[caffeinewitchcraft]

Everything I've Ever Written (on Tumblr)

I have been writing online since 2016. As a result, I have quite the few short stories listed below! They're all from different parts in my writing journey and I hope you enjoy.

If you'd like to read what I currently put out, please consider supporting me on Patreon (X)

Cinderella Doesn't Believe in Fairy Tales

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Part 4 / Part 5 /Part 6

Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9

Destiny Universe

You Are the Demon King

The Hero and Hope (part 1) (part 2)

Being Villagers

Heroes and Villains

Therapist for Villains

Juniper and Discus

Self Destruct Villain (flash fiction)

Dandelion (A Villain Story)

You Help Kill Heroes

You are the Shark Hero

Mist into a Tempest

The Civilian and the Reluctant Hero

No Heroes Here

The Spoiler (humor, flash fiction)

You are Legacy

Hero in Title

Dark Lord's Former Coworker

One Minute

The Fae:

You Become Powerful

Your Friend Takes Your Name

Larkin and Yvette

Debt Must Be Repaid (humor flash fiction)

Going to the Hill

The Fae are Free

When They Don't Know (submitted to elsewhereuniversity)

The Chosen One

The Chosen One's Parents

Fate and Mercy and Dead Girls

Amulet to Save Her

Hero's Apprentice (Flash fiction)

The Aftermath of the Chosen One

Wizards Stole My Brother

You are the Chosen One's Knight

The Chosen One is a History Major

You are the Most Powerful Magic User

Time Restarts and She Remembers

Better the Witch than the Kid

Witches

It Was in a Name

The Good Witch of Hawthorne

Berthe the Green Witch

Cursed Mold (flash fiction)

Love isn't Enough

I Can't Believe it's not Proper Adjudication

Devil Deals

The Devil You Know

The Ritual

They Summoned Her on Halloween (flash fiction)

Fairytale Retellings

Ariel and Ursula (age appropriate)

The Gods

Zeus' Son

Faith in Technology

Sci-Fi

Six Red Bulls and Persistence

The Sound of Silence

Emmaline and the Apartment

Humans are Vengeful

Humans Know War (that's why we have diplomacy)

Criminals Forced to Live on as AI (flash fiction)

Misc Fantasy

Wind-Speaker

Wind-Speaker and Her Wife

You Will Become

The Sirens and Leona (flash fiction)

Eldritch Princess (flash fiction)

Princess Maria and the Dragon

Princess Maria is Kidnapped

Immortals are Afraid of Change

Fiona the Dragon

A Violently Won War

Meta Stories

An Abstract Concept

Narrative Town

Narrative Town: Uncle Ralph

Princess Phaedra Breaks

You are a Horror Movie Villain

Ghost Stories

Malevolent Spirits

Your House is Haunted by an Anime Pillow

Don't Open the Door

Grandma's House

Who Is? (flash fiction)

A Face (flash fiction)

Misc.

You Choose Your Fate in Hell

Time Paradox (flash fiction)

You are an Assassin

Multiple Dimension Serial Killer (flash fiction)

An Exercise in Mary Sue

She Comes Back from the Hospital (tw eating disorder)

Roses and Evil (mental health flash fiction)

Big Brother

A Conversation About Anger

Punching Depression

Two Sides (flash fiction)

Immortal Serial Killer in Prison

Theater Romance (flash fiction)

The Lady and the Knight (flash fiction)

Different (flash fiction)

[smiletimeisrunningout]

@fantasywritten liked this

"Emma." Emma had swung around ready to stab and stopped, mouth falling open as she stared up at him, at the monster that still infested her dreams - he couldn't be there. It wasn't real. But she was still frozen on the spot, her arm falling and letting her knife drop on the ground as her eyes followed his movements, and suddenly she was just a girl again, facing the man who had nearly ripped her heart out a decade ago. And because she had stopped fighting, obviously no one had attacked; she could feel the confusion in Kate's voice as she called her name, saw Jack look at them, feet behind him. And then with one hit of the back of his hand he sent her flying and rolling down the slope. She heard the others shout for her and tried to regain her breath, head spinning after hitting a rock, and heard the noises of her friends fighting, trying to reach her, but he was on her a moment later, punching her straight in the face. And again, and again, and again. "Told you it wasn't over," he gloated, and she instinctively tried to crawl away in between the hits, but he kicked her to turn her again-and then moved to avoid being shot. Emma saw his grin right before he ran through the trees again but couldn't do anything except cough and spit blood, curling on the ground and trying to soothe the pain in her ribs.

After the general panic she had been carried to the tent and tended by a surprisingly gentle, if shocked, Jack who tried to ask a few questions about how she obviously knew him, but got no answers, with Kate brushing her hair soothingly while he had to stich her shoulder from the fall and check on her broken face. She kept staring at the tent, arms crossed against her stomach, eyes shining with unshed tears while she heard them talk about her outside, and felt Sayid come in because yes, of course they'd send him in, or let him in if he felt bad enough for her even though they weren't on the best terms now, and she hated how much she wanted to hide in his arms and let him comfort her, protect her-she wasn't a girl anymore, damn it. She was a woman, she knew how to fight. And he was the last person she could ask for help to. He had felt lied to and betrayed. She didn't deserve his help. She wanted him to be there so badly. "It was that guy." Her voice was as broken and small as she had expected it to be, and she unfolded her arms enough to let her finger trace down the scar on her chest. "From my nightmares."

[to-ti-to]

ahghhhhgshhhghhg

[operationslipperypuppet]

moments in a cutscene in a video game that’s glitching out that i’m electing to not stop thinking about:

the crew scream laughing throughout

josh’s insane slow motion

the weeping “there’s no crying in baseball” wedding vows

“an honor to punch your children”

the far too real zac story prompt and brennans visible pain

“all the freaky little goths who smell like frito bags”

the talkback after josh’s prompt with the grandma

sam being the first to jump in on the tiny desk performance

“shit.” (and josh fully losing it)

paul as a rodeo clown

the fact that no two-person prompt remained two people, the third person always jumped in

brennan justifying the stupid part of the prompt

paul’s triumphant return to save person he matched with from being attacked by a centaur. wordlessly. (it’s paul. he could have found a mic. he didn’t need to.)

“thank you, lou. i’m sorry, uh, uh, vic. i’m sorry, uh, jacob.”

“a lotta shit really went sideways in my life for me to end up living in this houseboat with you two.”

the beauty of all their impressions of each other (and the initial confusion over who was gonna be who)

and, of course, josh’s first win!!!

this episode is incredible, i’m pumped for the rest of the season, and i have already watched it three times.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Not under my roof pt 2

Pt 1

As you entered Tannyhill with red, teary eyes, Ward and rose sat down anxiously waiting.

“Are you okay?” Rose asked concerned.

“I’m-“

“She’s fine. Go to the room and get some sleep. Please.” He looked at you, you just wordlessly dragged yourself to his room.

He sat down with Ward and Rose outside, and Wheezie snuck her way into Rafe’s room, where you were currently putting down all the clothes you grabbed.

You turned back, not expecting to see Wheezie.

“Hey, wheeze.” You told her with a small smile, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Hi.” She sat down next to you, you sniffling and wiping your nose. “Guessing it didn’t go so good?” She asked, making you laugh and shake your head.

“No.”

“I’m sorry. That… that must suck.” She said with a frown on her face.

“It does. But…” you sighed. “I’ll be fine. How’d your dad and rose react?”

“They were mad at first, not at you. But now i think they’re more happy about it. They said ‘at least it was with you and not some random girl.’”

You laughed again, her smiling at the smile you had.

“He stopped hooking up with other girls once he started dating you though. Obviously.” She corrected.

“Would hope so.”

You both sat in a comfortable silence, before she stood up in front of the bed.

“I’m gonna go try to listen in on them.” She said with a smile.

“Let me know what they say.” You whispered to her with a small smile back, she nodded and gently shut the door.

You sighed, falling back onto the bed. You just curled up and fell asleep for hours.

——

“She’s asleep right now.” You heard a whispered voice at the door.

“Well, she needs to eat. She’s been sleeping all day.” You heard another voice say.

Rafe took the plate, mumbling a small thanks and closing the door. He watched as you stirred in the bed, stretching when you sat up. He put the plate on your legs.

“Morning, sunshine.” He said, teasing you and sitting down on the chair he had set up at his desk, turning it to you.

“Hi.” You mumbled sleepily. “What time is it?” You asked him.

“Like… 9.” He shrugged. “Rose brought some food.” He motioned to the plate on your lap. “They also wanna talk to you tomorrow.”

You stared down at it, swallowing the lump that formed in your throat.

“You alright?” He questioned, watching the way your face looked.

He then saw the little tear drops that hit that plate as you continued to stare. He furrowed his eyebrows, getting up and into the bed next to you.

“Hey, what the fucks wrong?” He asked, his hand ghosting over your back. You pressed your face into his shoulder, and he just sat and rubbed your back, still a little confused.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffled when you stopped crying, wiping your eyes and the tears.

“It’s alright, but what the fuck was that for?”

“I don’t know.. probably my hormones or something.” You mumbled. “Its just…”

You started crying again, he sighed and wrapped his arm around you.

“I don’t know, it feels so nice. Your parents are happy, and I can’t get that, I’m never gonna go see them again. I’m never gonna see Kie!” You rambled on. “And they even cooked for me and shit. That’s just… so sweet!” You sobbed, Rafe had a small smile on his face at that last sentence.

“You’re good. You’re fine.” He mumbled, not really knowing how to deal with any of this.

“Hey, listen to me mamas.” He told you quietly, your sobs quieting down.

“I mean, sure they’re pissed now, but they’ll come around when they see him.”

“Who said it was gonna be a him?” You asked him with a nasally laugh.

“Well, whatever it is. They’ll love h- them. And you think my parents weren’t pissed? I told Ward and he was ready to punch me. He wasn’t even mad at you! He fuckin’ adores you.” He said, smiling when you laughed at his words.

“And don’t even get me started on Rose, she went straight to the liquor cabinet. She told me she’s too young to be a grandma. I mean, she married an ancient man, shoulda expected it.”

Once more, you found yourself laughing at him, and his smile grew even wider.

“-And wheeze, oh my god, wheeze, she fucking-“ he started laughing now, covering his mouth, “She told me that she had been waiting forever for this, and she’s just mad it didn’t happen sooner.”

You both laughed together, all your worries slowly disappearing with his words.

“We’re gonna be fine. Promise.” He told you when he laughter died down. “Now can you please eat without slobbering on my bed?” He said in a teasing tone, making you roll your eyes and pick up your fork.

[onlyhyunjin]

𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒!

(♡) - my personal favorites (🔞) - CONTAINS NSFW CONTENT

FALLEN STAR - @h5eavenly (A story of two hurt souls finding comfort within each other in the most unexpected ways.)(🔞)(♡)

OFF LIMITS - @yeonzzzn (your older brother has always told you “no boys” and his friends “sister is off limits”, which always worked…until everyone comes back home from college and you see how grown up his best friend has become…)

CHILLING AND KILLING - @yeonzzzn (ghostface Jake au) (♡)

SURPISE BABY - @alvojake (jake was deadset on making your birthday special even if that meant making you hang out with your friend until he was finished setting up his last birthday surprise.)

AFTER HOURS - @heesbaby (jake sim, bassist of AFTERHOURS and all round terrible guy, so deep in his self absorbed world where everything went his way and everyone fell at his feet. he hardly noticed you moving in next door until he caught a glimpse of you in the hallway. completely uninterested in your neighbour, you did you best to ignore his advances. that was until you found yourself humming along to the songs he practiced every night.) (♡)

WATERMELON SUGAR - @wonryllis (he’s the sweetest to you, one might confuse him for your boyfriend, but he’s not, he just your fuckboy of a roommate who treats you like a delicate candy, always looking out for you and never at you; or so you think.)

MEET ME AT OUR SPOT - @jjunieworld (with the news of your grandma’s depleting health, life has you moving to your mother’s seaside hometown for the summer to your aunt’s. while there, you meet the illustrious player—jake sim—that everyone can’t seem to stop talking about. what you never expected was to gain his attention and spend the three months you’re there falling for him.)

BREAK THE ICE - @jaylver (Punching a guy in the club then kissing him not long after at a hockey game wasn't exactly a fairytale, but for you, it was your reality. The worst part of all it wasn't even the incidents that happened, but the fact that you didn't know him or his name. That was until another stir of events that happened which caused you and him to actually meet, so what was the best way to break the ice after a disastrous punch and a shocking kiss together? A date. It could be love at first sight, or more accurately, it was love at first punch, or … kiss? )

NEW YOU - @sageryuri (all hell breaks loose when you, the heir to the throne, decides to run away to begin a new life. luckily, you experience a surprise encounter with jake sim, which brings upon freeing adventures and sprouts a taboo relationship between a princess, and a poor criminal.)

KIWI AND LAYLA - @asahicore (in which you mistake jake’s backpack for your own, making you each go home with the other’s bag. both of you are too curious for your own good, so you quickly find out that you excel in the subject the other is failing - a mutual tutoring agreement ensues, and it turns into much more than what you had expected.)

WEBS OF HURT - @jaylver (Falling for your best friend wasn't on your check list for high school. As if that wasn't enough to break your heart, his odd behaviour only added fuel to the fire along with a new crush of his. Who knew that odd behaviour would soon turn into a secret truth that you'd discover after his valiant effort of hiding.)

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Damn you Brisket Five

Barbie dolls:five hargreeves x gn! Reader

Word: 4.1k

Summary: you and five (also Diego) get into an argument and he leaves you in the subway to cool off ha makes you promise not to get in the train what happens next will shock you

Warnings: mentions of killing, set in s4 minus the cheating, you're in the wrong but are extremely hard headed and kinda mean to Five and Diego, you try to punch Diego, you're picked up by Luther, brisket Five is a flirty dick, you eat a sandwich that reminds you of your grandmas and I described a slight "memory" so it might not match with anything you've experienced, one or two sex jokes I think but I idk, it's unclear where you are in the plot but it's not all that important, one mention of vomiting and stomach uneasy, Five's a little jelly

Inspired by: this and this

You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration. Allison pointed at you in agreement, looking around your circle as you all argued.

“This is stupid; why can’t we go back in time and kill Jennifer? I’m sure she’s a sweet girl but we’re talking about the universe right now,” you said, looking around at the faces staring at you. Luther shook his head at you. Diego made a grimace, looking away from you entirely. Allison scrunched her nose. Lila flashed her teeth like an upset dog, staring down at her hands. Klaus snorted, somehow finding a joke in this. You look over at Five to find him pinching his brow.

“We are not doing that because that’s what the Commission would do. That’s not who we are.” Five said, agitation scaping at the sound of his words. You hummed.

”Well what’s your idea, genius?” You asked, getting tired of them pretending like they were picking out an ice cream flavor. Five looked up at you with furrowed brows.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” He said, rubbing his lips together like it left a sour taste in his mouth. You rolled your eyes at him, looking around the group. Viktor held his finger up.

“I have an idea.” Everyone's eyes turned to him. “What if I just absorb all the marigold into my body and then get absorbed by The Durango?” You shook your head.

“No absolutely not.” You said, staring at Viktor to make sure he felt the sincerity in your voice. Luther scoffed.

“So you’re down to kill Jennifer but not Viktor?” Diego said, crossing his arms over his chest. You reeled back, looking at him to see if that really came from his mouth.

“Are you for real?” Diego gave a short nod. “Man fuck you.” You said before lunging at him. Diego pulled back, shocked at your sudden movement. Luther pulled you away, flinging you over his shoulder. He took three steps away from Diego so you couldn’t reach him even if you wanted to. You smacked Luther on his back while trying to wiggle out of his arms.

“Five control your partner,” Diego muttered. It sparked a few mummers of disagreement. Klaus grimaced at Diego. Allison reached over and smacked the back of Diego's head while Viktor whispered an ew. Five scoffed.

“Luther, put me down. Let me at him.” You whispered to Luther. Luther patted the back of your calf.

“No can do; you’re staying up there until you calm down.” You sighed at Luther’s words, giving up on getting out of shoulder jail anytime soon.

“Guys, what if we just all sacrifice ourselves to the Durango thingie?” Klaus asked, earning a unanimous no. You slumped against Luther, wishing he would just put you down already.

"Luther, turn around so I’m facing the group, would you?” Luther nodded, turning around so his back was facing the circle. You pressed your arms into his back, holding yourself up so you could make eye contact.

“What if we go back to where we had dinner all those days ago, use Five’s funky train? We go back to before Ben did his shenanigans; stop him; we don’t have this problem anymore.” You said, looking around the group to gain their reactions. Viktor raised an eyebrow, looking at Allison. Allison bit into her knuckle, staring at the floor to think it over. Five squinted his eyes at you. Diego started whispering to Lila. Klaus looked over to Five.

“That’s a possibility,” Diego said. Five shrugged.

“If Lila mimicked my power, we could most definitely get you all down there.” Five muttered. Luther gently set you down, turning back around to face the group. You straightened your clothes. You stood next to Five instead of Luther, still upset he basically put you in time out.

“Is that our plan?” Viktor asked. The group murmured different versions of yes. You glared at Diego.

“We have to stop home first, we can’t miss dinner with my family,” Lila said, glancing at Diego. You nodded, following after the rest of the group. You stopped by Diego, glaring at him.

“I really wanted to deck you. Still do.” You whispered. Five appeared next to you, grabbing your shoulder and steering you away.

“Remember who drives you around!” Diego yelled after you as Five directed you out of the house. You watched as he pulled you away from the group heading to the van, off to the side. You squinted at him.

“Just because I supported your idea does not mean I’m not still upset with you.” Five said, keeping his tone low. You furrowed your eyebrows. You crossed your arms over your chest, glancing over at the van to see most of his family pressed to the window watching you two intently.

“Why are you upset?” You asked not understanding where this was coming from. Five sighed, reaching out towards you. His hands hovered over your elbows in an attempt to soothe you.

“It hurt me when you spoke to me like that. You were talking like we aren’t equals. I didn’t like that you suggested that we kill Jennifer. I didn’t like how you treated Diego back there. I understand you’re annoyed and frustrated, a little hard-headed, but I still think you should be respectful to the people around you.” Five said, holding up a finger after each item he listed. You pulled back.

“I’m sorry, aren’t you the man who is regularly calling people names, and making insults? You’re the sarcastic pain in the ass.” You pointed at him. Five glanced at Diego and Lila joining the others in the car, pausing your conversation-argument so they didn’t hear.

“That’s different. I’m not blatanly trying to punch them.” Five pointed at Diego in the car like he was worried you’d forget. You scoffed.

“Oh, that’s rich.” You muttered. Five flung his hands out.

“How, tell me. How.” Five asked, getting more and more annoyed.

“You’re acting like I’m the worst person ever to swing on someone but need I remind you of your past job?” Five’s face fell before pulling into a grimace. He pointed his finger at you.

“I told you I didn’t enjoy the killing. Need I also remind you that you worked there as well?” Five asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You felt your heart beat faster as your anger grew.

“I never picked up a gun, you dickhead. I did paperwork.” You said, leaning closer, so he could feel the anger vibrating off your body. Five scoffed.

“You’re acting like you’re so much better than me, you ordered who got killed. You didn’t pull the trigger but you aimed. You’re just as much of a lowlife as I am.” Five held his arms out in a T-pose like he was saying, ‘This is it.’ You uncrossed your arms, holding them out to your sides. Five turned his back to you, facing the sky instead.

“That’s not what I said; this is just like what happened on the Kanas case.” You said, pointing in the direction of the van even though you weren’t sure if Kansas was that way. Five spun back around towards you, his jaw slack.

“You did not just bring up Kansas.” Five said in disbelief, staring at you. You nodded.

“I brought up Kansas.”

“Oh my- You and I both know that was not my fault. I thought we were past this?” Five said, grimacing at you. You shook your head, throwing your hands up.

“You never apologized.” You said, rolling your eyes. Five scoffed.

“Why would I apologize? It. Wasn’t. My. Fault.” You shook your head at Five. He huffed, spinning around again. You scoffed at him.

“You did the same thing there; you were acting like I was a horrible person. You started the argument. You almost got us killed, how is that not your fault?” Five groaned.

“Hey.. uh... you guys coming or what?” You heard Viktor yell from the van’s window. You and Five’s heads spun towards the van.

“Not now.” You both yelled at the same time, making Viktor turn the handle on the door as fast as he could to roll up the window. You and Five watched in silence as Viktor tried harder and harder to go faster. By the time it was closed, you two had taken a few breaths. You felt less radioactive but still pissed. Five sighed, looking up at you from staring at the ground.

“I think we both need to cool down.” Five muttered, reaching out for your hand. You grumbled before dropping your hand in his. It was seconds before you felt the sickness that came with Five’s jumps. You pulled away from him, finding yourself in his stupid subway.

“Damnit, Five. You know I hate that. I going to hurl.” You doubled over, supporting yourself with your hands on your knees. You took deep breaths while staring at the floor. You shrugged off Five’s hand when he tried to comfort you with a light back rub. You stood up straight when you felt your stomach settle. Five let out a sigh of relief.

“We both need to cool off, separate from each other. An hour or two tops. You can stay here, break shit. I really don’t care just do not get on the train. Okay? You have to promise me you won’t get on the train.” Five said, staring at you. You glanced over at where the train would be. “promise?” Five added when you were silent.

“Yeah, I won’t go on the train.” Five nodded before he blinked out again. You sighed, slumping onto the bench nearby. Maybe you should break shit. That vending machine was looking a little appetizing right now. You looked up at the loud sounds of the train screeching into your station. The train doors slid open, showing the very inviting subway seats that definitely wouldn’t hurt at all. You glanced over at where Five was standing. He technically wasn’t here. He did say it would be a few hours before he got back. Nothing was really stopping you from going inside. You didn’t even say ‘I promise’. So, does it count? You stood up from the bench, stepped onto the train, and settled into the seat across from the door.

The train lurched forward, making you glance around. You expected the train ride to be very short, only a few minutes, but you couldn’t fully get a feel for how long it had been. You got bored after a while deciding to find something to climb on. After failing to hang upside down four times, you got bored of that too. You laid across the seats on your back, closing your eyes to take a nap. Then the train stopped. You peeked an eye open, glancing around for monsters before sitting up. You stared at the door as it slid open.

Then, what you least expected, you saw Five. In his suit too. He walked past the open door before stopping at the window next to it. He backpeddled, staring at you with a confused face. Just as you were about to defend your case, he started running. away. His fancy shoes clicked on the floor as he ran. You stood up, chasing after him.

“Hey, man. I know the argument was kinda rough, but it wasn’t that bad.” You yelled after him. Five glanced over his shoulder, picking up his pace. He skidded around the corner, almost tripping on the way. You reached the same corner after a few seconds, stopping in the middle of the hallway. In the middle of the subway station was a diner. ‘Max’s Delicatessen’ over the door in big bold letters.

You picked up your pace, walking to the door and swinging it open. You stepped inside, ignoring the bell on the door. You stopped when you saw what was inside. There was one Five, out of breath and leaning on one of the tables. Probably the one you chased. Then every other customer and worker here was Five. They all turned around, pausing what they were doing to stare harder. You held your breath before spinning back around for the door.

“Oh no. Stay. Please?” You heard Five’s voice. It had already said no to him. You turned back around, not sure which Five spoke to you. One of them stood up from his seat, almost knocking over his coffee.

“How did you get here without your Five?” The standing one asked. You pointed behind you.

“Train.” You heard a few Fives snort, which you thought was odd because FIve liked to pretend he hated your pain-in-the-ass-ness. The Five you chased after, turned around to face you.

“Where’s your Five? Did he die?” He asked. You heard the Five next to him mutter something about being gentle.

“No, well, not right now. He hasn’t. He’s probably pouting in the car right now.” You said, stepping further into the restaurant. A Five sitting in the booth closest to the door gestured for you to join him. You sat down in the booth, still looking around at all the Fives.

“Pouting?” the runner Five asked. You nodded.

“We go into a fight, a stupid one might I add. He told me to cool off here in the subway. So he’s probably pouting right now.” The closest Fives around you hummed.

“Did you bring up Kansas?” The Five across from you asked. You rolled your eyes.

“Listen, he was being all picky about how I had to talk to people while arguing over how we should stop the world from ending. It’s ridiculous.” The Five across from you sighed. He reached across the table, holding onto your hand. He stared into your eyes.

“I have really bad news for you, you were a little out of line. Most of us have had the same or similar argument, and every version of you was just a little out of line. It’s nothing against you.” The Five across from you said. Runner Five slid into the seat next to the one holding your hand.

“When we figure out what to do with our apocalypse, we have to be respectful to everyone else. If we hurt any of our bonds it could cost us the world.” The runner Five said. You nodded, staring down at the table.

“Diego told my Five to ‘get me under control’ and he was all like judging me because I said we should just kill Jennifer-“ You heard the Fives around you hiss, covering their mouths with their hands. “Which isn’t the best idea but we don’t have a lot of options here.”

“That probably freaked out your Five. We want to have entirely different morals than the Commission did. Diego was out of line with those comments but I don’t know if you should’ve swung on him.” The Five holding your hand said.

“Well, I don’t know how to get back and apologize. I fully went on the train to spite Five.” You said, slumping in your seat. The Five holding your hand, ran his thumb over the top, comforting you just slightly.

“You don’t need to worry about getting back. Anytime now, your Five will come through that door and whisk you away back home.” The Five across from you said, before dropping your hand to pick up his coffee instead.

“In the meantime, Brisket Five here will make you a sandwich.” The Runner Five said, pointing at the Five standing behind the counter with an apron on. Brisket Five waved at you, before sending a wink in your direction. You felt your face warm, looking away from him to instead look at the table. A few minutes later, of you making small talk about different aspects of your life with the two Fives in front of you, Brisket Five came to stand next to you with a plate. He set it down on the table before leaning over the table to smile at you.

“It’s your favorite.” He muttered, making the other two Fives groan. You glanced down at it. It just looked like a regular sandwich with toasted bread to you.

“My favorite from where?” You asked, keeping your hands in your lap. Brisket FIve grinned at you, pushing the plate just a smidge closer to you.

“From your childhood. The sandwich your grandma made for you after a long day of playing in the sprinklers.” He said. You stared down at the sandwich, wondering if he was fucking with you. ”Try it.” You glared up Brisket FIve. He should know that you hate taking any orders from Five. He tilted his head down, staring up at you with blown-wide puppy eyes. ”Please.” he whispered.

Even the Fives from other universes knew you were weak for the puppy eyes. You sighed before picking up the sandwich. You held it steady in front of your face, still not so sure about it. You glanced at Brisket Five once more before taking a bite. You paused when you truly felt yourself transported back to your Grandma’s house.

You could feel her warm blue towel wrapped around your shoulders while your wet swimsuit was still sticking to you. You could hear her muttering about your grandfather leaving food in the oven. You could feel how the table was just a little too big for you, having to lean forward to reach over the edge. You could hear the ticking of her clock.

“I thought you were messing with me.” You muttered, looking up at Brisket Five. He puffed his chest out just a little more. He stood up straight, brushing off his apron.

“You should trust me more often, my love. I’m more than just a pretty face.” Brisket five said, placing his hands on his hips and shrugging. You glanced over at the other two Fives at your table, both glaring at Brisket Five.

“Fuck you, Brisket Five.” The runner FIve said.

“You should know their Five is still alive, you should cut back on the flirting.” The Five across from you said. You glanced at Brisket Five out of the corner of your eye before looking back to the other two.

“Off topic but who’s Max?” You asked before taking another bite of the sandwich.

“I am!” Someone yelled back behind the counter. You glanced over to see another Five raising his hand. You looked back at the Fives you had already met, confused more than when you found out there were more than two Fives.

“We are. Dickhead.” Brisket Five yelled back. Max frowned at Brisket Five.

“Get back to work, Brisket Five,” Five-Max said, before moving back behind the counter. Brisket FIve turned back around to face you. He winked at you again. He reached out and tapped your cheek with his pointer knuckle, giving you an odd sense of deja vu.

“Talk to you later.” He muttered before walking away to the counter. You shrugged, looking back at your sandwich.

“What. A. Dick.” Runner Five said. You hummed. Across-from-you Five grumbled while staring at Brisket Five’s back.

“Makes a damn good sandwich, though.” You added, sinking your teeth in again. You groaned at how good it tasted. You tossed your head back, staring at the ceiling. You heard the bell above the door ring. You turned around, looking at the door to see who it was.

In all his glory, was yet another Five. You squinted at him, raising an eyebrow. He caught eyes with you; he pressed his lips together and tilted his head in a ‘you really did this’ manner. You gasped, setting your sandwich down. You threw your arms up in the air.

“Five! Darling, I missed you.” You said, smiling brightly at him. A few heads turned back to see which Five you were talking to. Your Five walked over towards your table, sliding into the seat next to you. His hand inched for yours, intertwining your fingers.

“Thought you promised not to use the subway?” He asked, giving you a knowing smile. You tutted, shaking your head.

“I never said ‘I promise’. I just said I wouldn't which makes it a fib and not a broken promise.” You said, defending your case perfectly. Five nodded, and he leaned forward. He pecked your lips. Five lingered for a few seconds, his apology pressed between each other's lips. He pulled back and sighed.

“I’m sorry for being so dickhead-ish.” He muttered, knocking his nose against yours. You pulled back, shaking your head.

“No, you don't have anything to apologize for; I was the one being all dickhead-ish. I shouldn't have called you that anyway. I'm sorry. I should've treated you better.” You said, grabbing his other hand to hold as well. Five hummed.

“And Diego?” You scrunched your nose. Five raised an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, I guess him, too. I’ll apologize later.” You turned back to your sandwich, taking another bite.

“And what about Kansas?” Five asked. You made a sad face, making quick work of the bite in your mouth.

“I shouldn't have brought up Kansas because we both know it's a sore spot for the both of us.” You said with a monotone voice, sounding like a tired robot.

“That was nice to hear.” Five said before knocking your cheek with his knuckle. You got flashbacks to seconds before when Brisket Five left back towards the counter.

“Oh, by the way, Brisket Five was flirting with me.” You said before taking another bite. Your Five stared at the side of your face in shock. He glanced over at the other two Fives at your table. They both nodded while you kept your focus on your sandwich. Five leaned over the edge of the seat to look over your head at Brisket Five.

“What. A. Dick.” Five muttered. You nodded.

“That's what I said.” Runner Five said, pointing at Your Five. You set down your sandwich, looking over at Five.

“Do we have to go now?” You asked, giving him your best version of his puppy eyes. Five shook his head.

“You can finish your sandwich and then we can worry about the end of the world.” Five said, kissing your cheek. Yousmiled and focused on your sandwich again. Five rubbed your knee and started a conversation with the other two Fives. By the time you had finished, Brisket Five came back to take the plate away. He sent you a grin and wink. Five reached over and covered your eyes with his hands.

“Go away, Brisket Five.” Runner Five said. After that you said goodbye to all the other Fives, telling them you'll be back real soon. Your Five held your hand, gently tugging you towards the door. Just as you were about to get out the door, Brisket Five appeared next to you. He held out a ball of foil that looked suspiciously similar to a sandwich.

“It’s another sandwich, cause I know you loved it so much.” Brisket Five said. You took it out of his hands, cradling it to your chest.

“Thank you, Brisket Five.” You whispered. Your Five stood behind you, pressing his hands into your back, and gently pushing you towards the door.

“Yeah. Thanks, Brisket Five.” Five repeated from behind you. You two were out the door in no time, Five leading you towards the train by your hand. As you waited for the train to pull in, you hooked your elbow with Five’s. You leaned up to his ear, kissing the apple of his cheek. You pulled back at the screeching of the train pulling in. You walked into the train car with Five, sitting down next to each other. He dropped his head onto your shoulder as the train pulled away. You rested your chin on top of his head.

“I love you.” He whispered under his breath. You weren’t entirely positive that he wouldn’t fall asleep on the ride home. You dropped a kiss to the top of his head.

“I love you.” You hummed against his hair in response.

“More than Brisket Five?” Five asked. You glanced down at the sandwich in your lap.

“Have you thought about making sandwiches before?” You muttered. Five scoffed, reaching for the sandwich. You held it away from him, tapping his nose in a reprimanding manner. Five humphed.

“I’m going to kill Brisket Five.” Five whispered into your shoulder. You almost laughed at the feeling.

“Just keep his apron, it was kind of hot.” Five grumbled at your words. You gave him another kiss on his head so he was reminded that you were just joking. You thought about how you were going to apologize to Diego with words on the ride home. Diego apologized as well, bringing you a large plate of Lila’s family’s delicious food as an apology. Which you took very happily.

[vaaaaaiolet]

Sleep-deprived Leon's upstairs neighbor works late 'cause she's a singer on a deadline, and he's having none of it. He comes up with a wild solution to the problem in a moment of desperation, and he's surprised when you actually go along with it, but anything to get a full night's sleep, right? Then he finds himself wanting a bit more than camaraderie with you in the process.

f/m, romance, fluff, does this count as crack??? popstar reader w/ a twist, ID leon is USELESS w tech + lives under a ROCK, also you manic pixie dream girl a bit too close to the sun but it's ok bc ur cute LOL

word count: 2.6k // read this chapter on ao3

a/n: req fic + belated bday gift for my lovely 🍍 anon!! as usual i got carried away and butchered it. um. NOTHING makes sense just go w the vibes i beg you </3 pt. 2 coming out asap bc this fic will not leave me alone in the best way :)

chapter one

Rule of thumb: don’t bang on the first date. 

Leon’s wrapping his pillow around his head like a pair of goddamn Beefs (or is Beets? those tacky, overpriced- oh, forget it) while his upstairs neighbor gives her bed a run for its money on a Friday night, at a blessed 9 PM no less. 

Oh yeah. Her.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. 

R-rated suspicions aside, Leon tries hoping for the best. His new neighbor might just be an interior designer of the nocturnal sort. Sick of his previous rowdy, college kid-infested apartment building, he’d moved into this complex not too long ago thanks to a very politely-worded call to Hunnigan about open listings in quiet, senior citizen-friendly neighborhoods. Call him old, call him boring, but after a long day of running around saving humanity from the newest bioweapon to hit the market, all Leon ever wants to do these days is get a few winks of sleep. He’s pushing 30. Insomnia’s no fountain of youth, people. 

Thump, thump-thump-thump. 

New Girl upstairs seemed to have the same idea but with far more nefarious intent. She’d moved in at the same time as him, he’s sure – Leon saw a flash of her face a few days ago when she was lugging boxes of stuff into the elevator up to her floor. She’s the only sign of life from the 21st century he’s encountered since the day he came to sign his lease papers. Why? 

Because Hunnigan had fulfilled his request to a T. Leon’s new apartment building is long-term care home adjacent. 

Full of grandmas and grandpas who got about as loud as their record players, only leaving their homes to fetch the mail – telegrams by the wrinkles on some of them. It was perfect. Leon was positively thrilled when Eunice from Unit 202 very, very slowly, waved hello to him on his moving day.

THUMP-THUMP! THUMP-THUMP!

And then she happened.

Maybe he’s just a grumpy old man right where he belongs, in all his 29-and-a-half glory. But the pounding that girl is giving her bed with some frat boy right now is giving Leon the college dorm experience all over again. It takes him half an hour of tossing and turning in his sheets to throw on an old jacket, beeline to the elevator, punch the neon 3 button, and darken New Girl’s doorstep. 

His turn now. A quick knock, knock is enough for Unit 304’s door to open a crack.

“Hey, I’m from downst- oh my God, are you decent?”

And you, standing at the door in a dress that’s more sheer than his disbelief, only tilt your head to go, “Huh?” 

“Listen, I know tomorrow’s the weekend but I- shit,” his face burns, “could you keep it down, please? You guys are really loud and it’s late.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You- you and whoever you’re with, could you not do this right now?” Leon croaks. 

Your hands flail wildly in dismissal. “Oh no, that was just me jumping on my bed! Helps with my creative process,” you say, smiling weakly. “I didn’t know the floors were that thin, I’m sorry.”

Bullshit. “They are.” Leon grimaces, “And um, it’s fine if you guys are loud, just save it for when everyone’s asleep next time.”

A frown interrupts your smile. “I just said it was me. There’s no one else here, seriously.”

“So what’s with the getup?”

“The-” your eyes drift down to the near see-through of your dress and Leon gestures vaguely, as if you need more explanation to why he’s avoiding eye contact with your chest. “Oh, this?”

He nods. 

“Creative process!” you chirp brightly.

“For what, pray tell?”

Curiously, that puts the wind out of your sails. Suddenly you having trouble meeting Leon’s eyes, lashes fluttering as you look up, down, anywhere that’s not his face. 

“For school,” you finally make out, fingers wrapping around the edge of your door. “I’m a music major.”

Pianos and prancing on beds don’t exactly mix. He can’t help but squint at you. “And the jumping helps with…?”

“Getting past writer’s block!” 

Back to bubbly with the ball in your court, you go so far as to open your door a little further to explain. Leon’s cheeks blaze as he tries his damndest to keep his eyes from drifting south. 

“I read online that moving around helps with ideas, and I’m supposed to have a whole album written by the end of the week. I probably shouldn’t have procrastinated…” you trail off with a half-hearted chuckle, “so now I’m throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks, y’know?”  

He hums. “You wanna be a singer?” 

“Mhm!” Your updone hair bobs with you, reminding him a little of a bobblehead. It’s almost cute enough to make his AMs worthwhile.

“Then you better start singing somewhere else, sweetheart. The walls are just as thin as the floors.” 

And Leon immediately turns his ass around to go back to sleep.

In hindsight, it might’ve been a little mean of him to leave like that. But his bed is just so heavenly, and with the sleep deprivation he’s been racking up lately, Leon’s half sure he just dreamed that entire exchange. There’s no way a girl like you in college – in her 20s, give or take – is seriously jumping on her bed on a Friday night for a homework assignment. That too in a dress fit for the club to add to the irony. Are all creatives this weird?

He pinches the bridge of his nose as the elevator descends, pushing aside his last glimpse of the glum expression he left you with in your doorway. So much for first impressions. But hey, you didn’t really make a great one either. He’ll call it even. Maybe get you a gift basket for chivalry’s sake.

He considers all this as he slips back under his blankets, finally, at 9:45 PM.

And then he hears a creeeaaak.

“Please,” Leon groans, jamming his pillow over his ears. 

Thump…thump?

Nix the gift basket.

6:00 AM on Saturday finds Leon with his eyes wide open and glazed insomniac red.

His alarm blares as if to say, you actually thought you’d need to get woken up, didn’t you?

It’s a little patronizing. He teaches it a lesson by throwing it off his nightstand.

Sometime between 11 and 12 at night, you’d gotten bored of your bed and taken to something with wheels. An office chair is Leon’s best guess. You’d rolled across your floor all night, and the resulting clatter of plastic grating on hardwood had kept him awake until the sunrise. Hangovers were more pleasant than the night of sleep (or lack thereof) he’d just gotten, and Leon’s no wimp. He’s a man, goddamnit. A decorated government agent!

So he handles the problem at its source. Whips out his flip phone like a man, and makes a very important call.

A disgruntled female voice crackles through at the first ring. “May I remind you that this line’s only for emergencies, Leon?”

“It is! I need you to find me another apartment, Hunnigan, please,” Leon sits up, rubbing his eyes to plead his case to an unimpressed Ingrid Hunnigan. “My upstairs neighbor won’t let me sleep. The floors are thin as hell and she’s been moving around all night. It’s even worse than my last place.”

“Really? An old lady is giving you that hard of a time?” 

“She’s college age — a singer — and when she starts singing for her homework all the time, I’m really not going to get any sleep. I’m begging you, Hunnigan. Get me out of here.” 

“Strange.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Truly,” Hunnigan deadpans. “You know how hard of a time I had getting you into an apartment building only for people over 55, Leon?” 

He winces, holding the phone a little further from his ears just in case. 

“How many favors I had to cash in, strings I had to pull, all because you’re hopeless at navigating an apartment listing site, let alone anything on the Internet? Do you realize I had to do that in my personal time because your request would fall under illegal use of federal intelligence resources?”

Leon falters. “I didn’t-”

“So here’s what you’re going to do,” Hunnigan says shortly. “You are going right back to your neighbor and working out a solution like an adult.”

“But I already-”

“You’re solving this on your own, Leon. Figure something out because I know you can delegate. Got it?”

He really doesn’t. He’s only good at that outside of the US.

“Is that clear, Agent Kennedy?” Hunnigan repeats for semantic measure.

“Crystal,” Leon mopes, sapped of all hope when she ends the call with a ‘good luck’, just like back in Spain. A familiar routine.

He’s back in front of Unit 304 by 9:00 AM. 

You open your door with a half-chewed yawn, wrapped in a robe and looking deceptively angelic, that is, if it weren’t for the immediate pinch your pretty brows take on when you grace him with a decidedly sour look. 

“Up already?” Leon tries.

This time all he gets in response is a quick nod, a mouth parted in distaste. 

Forward march, Kennedy.

“You were up past midnight. I heard you, y’know, on your chair. Kinda loud.”

“I’m not annoying you on purpose,” you sigh, tucking your arms into a tight cross over the fluff of your robe. “I just really have to turn my album in on time and I’m having crazy writer’s block. They told me the people here are quiet and easygoing. I haven’t had a single noise complaint so far except for you, did you know that?” 

“That’s because everyone in this building either has hearing aids or doesn’t realize they need them yet,” Leon grits. “I don’t even know how you got in here, to be honest.”

“A sparkling letter of recommendation, thank you very much. And you?” You push up on your toes indignantly. “Are you just older than you look? ‘Cause you might need a pair of hearing aids yourself.”

Leon bites back a scoff. “Don’t need ‘em. I can hear you plain as day from below.”

Sirens are starting to blare in his head and it’s like he can feel Hunnigan glaring at him from her HQ in the sky. Aborting mission again isn’t an option. If Leon doesn’t fix things now, he’d be starting bad blood that might outlast the combined remaining lifespans of the building’s tenants. His salary could cover rent that long; his ego, not so much.

You’re about two seconds away from shutting your door in Leon’s face before he interrupts with a save pulled straight from his ass: “I’ll help you write your songs.”

So instead, you squawk, “What?”

He sticks the toe of his shoe in your doorjamb for insurance. Blurts, “I mean it. I’ll help you come up with ideas.”

“How on Earth would you do that?”

Great question. No better time than the present for the both of you to find out. 

“You said moving around helps?” Leon repeats for you to confirm with a quizzical nod, “I’ll take you anywhere you want. Anywhere in the city, you name it, I’ve got a motorcycle I’ll get you there on. It’ll be a change of scenery. Just whatever you do, enough with the gymnastics at midnight.”

It’s a desperate lifeline, a creepy one now that he’s had more than two seconds to think about it, but a lifeline nonetheless.

And to his horror, all you do is stare. 

The resulting silence feels like crystallizing amber. A clock ticks agonizingly from somewhere in your living room. Tick, tick, shit, he desponds. But thankfully, your laugh bubbles out not a moment too soon, sending a tsunami of relief down his shoulders. 

“Gymnastics, really?” you snort, covering your mouth with a well-manicured hand.

“I’m serious.” Leon shoots for a winning smile. “But I have to ask, is working late also part of your creative process?”

Your eyes crinkle maybe, but you shake your head no. 

“Then we’ll go whenever you’re free. Show you a few of my favorite spots, see if it speeds up your songwriting. Sound okay, sweetheart?” 

“How about now?” you pipe up.

Leon coughs his splutter into something more dignified. 

“You said whenever I was free! It’s a Saturday, you’re free,” you point a finger at his chest, “I’m free,” turn it back on yourself, “and I need to finish writing my album by, like, yesterday. This is perfect!” With a miniscule squeal, you disappear back into your apartment.

Leon’s left standing in your entryway wondering when his lifeline became a dynamite detonation cord.

“You haven’t even asked me my name,” he calls out to deaf ears. Cups his hands for effect because he can hear you flinging hangers onto the floor. “Don’t they teach you about stranger danger at school?” 

“I’ll find out eventually!” floats back your worrying response.

You’re an efficient dresser, Leon gives you that. A thankfully normal one too at the dress and heels you rush back up to the door with. A large pair of cat-eye sunglasses perched on the bridge of your nose makes Leon do a double take at the cloudy sky outside, but then again, maybe it’s another part of your creative process. Beyond his pay grade.

You adjust your sunnies with gusto, grin up at him when he gives you a curious look. 

“Well, go on,” you say, pulling out your phone. 

Leon blinks at the glowing rectangle.

“Number, name?” You tilt it as if you’re trying to entice a toddler. “I can’t just keep calling you Mr. Noise Complaint.”

“Aw, you’ve been telling your friends about me?” Leon chuckles at last, pulling out his flip phone and handing it to you.  

And suddenly it’s your turn to stare at a piece of foreign technology.

You take your sweet time putting in your number. It’s very entertaining, the way the tip of your tongue sticks out the tiniest bit when you make a mistake and the sound of furious keypad backspacing follows right after. Leon’s no better, setting himself on your phone as “LOEN KEENAYD”, and with his pride bordering on hubris, he has no choice but to keep it that way.

“Really small backspace key,” he fibs when you peer at the gibberish in your contacts. 

Your lip bite makes for a piss-poor job of hiding how funny it is.  

“It’s Leon, by the way. Leon Kennedy. Apartment 204.” 

You fix his name in half the time it took him to put it in. He holds his hand out for a shake, timeless enough, and you give it three businesslike pumps.

“I have to grab a spare helmet from my place, I’ll meet you down at the garage,” Leon promises.

You point at him before stepping into the elevator. “Either your idea works or I’ll have to work past midnight to get this album done and then you’ll really owe me, Leon.” 

In another life, you could’ve been a CEO. You’ve certainly got the pointer finger for it. 

Leon tips his chin in acknowledgment. “Whatever it takes to get back into your good graces, ma’am,” he grins.

That gets a cackle out of you as the elevator doors slide shut.

And he takes the stairs this time, waves good morning to Eunice in 215 on his way to pick up that helmet for you. It must be a good day, Leon thinks, sounding out your name in his phone’s contacts. Eunice even has a post- Great Depression era vinyl playing on her record player. Maybe it’s a sign to not be so glum about his situation. He’s finally fixing it, isn’t he? 

So be it. A guy can dream. In Leon’s case, he’s hoping he gets eight hours by Monday.

psst, find more of my work here!

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3 take care and i love you!

divider by @/saradika-graphics <3

[simonisferal]

not you again. "scaramouche x male reader"

YOU were the smart kid in high school till he came along and ruined it. Now that he got you shipped away to your grandmother's, you're out for revenge. To beat him is your greatest wish but would that change now when he's your seatmate, partner. and roommate? Oh for fuc—

warnings: physical violence/fighting, the occasional underage drinking, heavily sexual themes and intercourse + some kinky shit (honestly, who knows), scaramouche is scaramouche 🤦‍♂️, exes to academic rivals to lovers, vulgar language, angsty(mentions of SH, suicidal thought, OD/ED), slow updates, homophobia (sort of), i know nothing about law so don't come at me, slow burn, and i think that's it!

written pieces will marked with 📖

pheonix wrights — miles edgeworths

ᴥ season one — glow up, dick up

episode one — who the hell are you and why is your bitchass tryna fight me?

episode two — a man can't punch another man without it seeming homosexual nowadays, can he? 📖

episode three — if im sent away, im taking my dignity with me / fuck you

episode four — yes grandma, i'll rub your bare feet. just don't call grandpa over to tell his war stories again... 📖

episode five — i wonder how much he's suffering right now

episode six — in my slut era!! (i stay home with grams and gramps watching family fued)

episode seven — you'd think being the new kid is shit but it's actually worse since i'm hot

episode eight — who is juicytoot124 and why are they liking my tweets??

episode nine — fuck the school, fuck the students, and fuck the chairs too / who is he talking to

episode ten — this is NOT the USA miley cyrus was partying in 📖

episode eleven — holy shit, he has a sister? or is that his girlfriend..? 📖

episode twelve — kaeya, pass me the bottle; i’m getting wasted tonight

episode thirteen — holy shit. am i hallucinating or do i see a bobble-headed bitch coming my way? 📖

episode fourteen — it might be the paranoia coming in but i hear cops 📖

episode fifteen — how's my day? oh i was hiding in a fucking closet with my ex boyfriend from the police because of someone decided to steal alcohol. i wonder who.

episode sixteen — so i can't be a whore but my enemy can fuck around with his ex? not cool.

episode seventeen — wait, summer's over already? i was just getting ready to rot in bed!

episode eighteen — basically what i'm hearing is that i'm a god and everyone loves me!

episode nineteen — yeah, so, what i just said previously was a fucking lie. 📖

episode twenty — ah shit, here we go again. 📖

ᴥ season two — and they were roommates?

episode twenty one — my clear conscience can't take this anymore; time to escape prison!

episode twenty two — everything i say was a joke unless you're into it, then it's not 📖

episode twenty three — first day of hell

episode twenty four — am i interfering someone's love triangle??

status: ongoing

started: 04/13/24

taglist: @m-march7th , @wawanluvr , @shutingstar , @pookiemax , @chemiru , @scaradooche , @swivy123 , @yangbbokari , @academiq , @thystarsshine , @zoropookie , @notrsz , @justyoureader , @mercy-not-merci , @kiekole , @kazumiku , @featuredtofu , @yourfavoritefreakyhan , @b2tr09 , @ell1e2010 , @pwaap , @vxcmx , @vamxpi , @moonslie04, @allaboutiknowthatyoubeingdead , @somnium-kiss , @crxwned-mxnarch , @khisuko , @jad3-n , @emptydinner-plate , @popcorn-milk , @liuaneee , @neversore, @alicerosejane

(@simonisferal 2024)

[squiddy-god]

Twisted wonderland and our world is supposed to be very different right ? What if like- the society was actually really accepting of lgbt stuff around there . And the reader/yuu being from a region where such matters were considered very much taboo . So he's scared about like- you know being into his own gender and the twst boys are like- "fym"

Genuinely I feel like this is so good. Because like I love to think that MC/yuu is like,,, really scared to be out,,, a lot of this is gonna be about trans masc/trans readers because that's what I am,,, but there's alot of thoughts so

I'll talk more about male reader but like I'd be fucking terrified as a queer trans man to be out to an entire school, much less an entire school with a reputation for having the worst most villainous personalities. And while I live in America, not perfect or even great, its better than a lot of people's situations. But unfortunately I live in a heavy red state so <3

But still, like the bullying and harassment of high school life while being not only openly queer but also trans masc was like,,, the worst,,, so suddenly being transported into this magical world, where I have no idea what the politics of it are like would be awful,

But the thought that a world so full of magic and whimsy, is just accepting of queerness is so cathartic to me. And I'm Shure there are still parts that suck and are homophobic/transphobic but to think that twst is a world where that stuff is rare and shamed is beautiful to me

Now as a trans person, my thoughts

Sebek "WHAT ARE YOUR PRONOUNS SO I CAN YELL AT YOU CORRECTLY" zigvolt

Malleus, one of the most respectful, calls you child of man until you tell him your pronouns and then boom it's like he had the list of endearments ready to be selected

Ace who totally tries to punch you in the nuts and is horrified at the power you weild

Vil who is the embodiment of "all those years in the closet, and you still dress like that???"

Vil who respects your personal style, who helps you find clothes that make you feel less Dysphoric

Like yuu/you/MC being so terrified when they decided to come out to the first year gang, and being fully prepared for the rejection and ridicule. Only to be met with confusion on why you think they would react with anything other than love and acceptance?

I like to think that Sam's shop is like THE place to be during pride Month, and that he sells like,,, magical T (and E) ykyk

Magic spells for like "tiddies be gone" fire ball style bottom surgery type shit

And besides just being trans, being gay is probably surprisingly easy

Malleus and Leona where you are soooooo worried that this is gonna be some forbidden love thing, that the backlash for being gay would mean you can't be with them

Meanwhile Leona's brother and sister in law are welcoming you with open arms as Leona's partner, Cheka is happy he's going to have a new uncle

Lilia is happy such a nice young man loves his weird lizard son. And grandma mal is overjoyed that her grandson is so in love with you! The future king and prince consort will be such a happy union for the Briar valley.

Meanwhile you are just so worried 😔

Same with vil and neige, you are terrified for the backlash of being openly queer but people send in fan art for pride and just in general because y'all cute

Love all of this. I've been very Dysphoric lately so maybe 👉👈maybe trans masc reader hcs... Hehehe

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

This is me feeding your brain worm/plot bunny

"Why are we here?" Logan grumbled?

"Dinner, duh," Wade said, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he extricated a key ring with an... alarming number of keys from his belt and shoved Mary into Logan's arms. "With my sweet, sweet baby sister. Writer. Voice of an angel-" He trailed off struggling with the keys and finally banged on the door. "You'll love her."

"She talk as much as you?"

"Nah," Wade said. "Had to grow up pretty quick after I bailed for the army-"

The door swung open and you blinked up at them, "What the fuck, Wade? I thought it was cops or something." Behind you, a dog growled, low and menacing and you looked over your shoulder. "Trigger, down. It's fine."

You step back to let them in, accepting Wade's one-armed hug and a kiss on the head- but not without punching him in the stomach. Siblings. Logan could see it now. And he could smell what you were cooking- it smelled incredible after cheap takeout and burned coffee.

"Mary will be fine on the floor," you tell Logan with a smile, stroking her head. "Trigger will be too busy waiting for me to drop things in a minute to bother her."

He nodded and tried to think of something to say. It was weird. He knew your face. People asked about you. But in your apartment and having you play hostess- buzzing around to get them drinks. Opening the door to let Vanessa in. It felt... intimate. Even if you never pressured him to talk.

"Stroganoff," Wade said taking a deep breath as he flopped dowl on the sofa next to Logan. "Grandma's recipe?" he asked you.

"What the fuck? No. When did she cook?" You scoff. You stand on your toes and lean over the couch to peer over Logan's shoulder to get his attention, "Can you do me a Favor Logan?"

"You're feedin' me so I guess," he grunted.

"Quit stabbin' Wade in the head," you tell him, "I don't think it all comes back. He's gettin' dumber."

"If the food is good I'll think about it."

You pout, "I made red velvet cake too."

"If it's from a mix-"

Three almost identical gasps cut him off and the look of hurt that flashes on your face before you got back to your playful pout makes him feel like a prick.

"How very dare," Wade scolds, "Peanut, Y/N does NOT slave all day JUST to cook from a mix."