#“WITH THIS?” well........

[titaniumions]

1 hour spent drawing this on someone's strawpage............ can't even call it low effort i was fighting for my life to include as many recognizable details as i could

[shamebats]

Join me on my journey to finally unbalance my hormones, toxify my body, boost my inflammation, maximize my cortisol and absolutely destroy my gut health.

[fireheartwraith]

[illmissyoutiktok]

Musician: Jesse Welles

Posted 11Dec2024

[thattripleabattery]

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[bookwyrminspiration]

sometimes a theme recurs in your work without your permission. and sometimes it reaches a threshold where you're like. well now i think this is saying something about me against my will. don't know what though

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[razzafrazzle]

Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)

[bird-prince-art]

friend made my birthday cake

[iiota]

refraining from a lot of election joke posting and instead I just donated $55 USD to gaza soup kitchen and i encourage anyone else to consider donating even a couple of dollars to the people who will be affected the most from whatever outcome happens

you can also donate to care for gaza here

EDIT: please also consider donating to this family their 93% to their goal!! and also please check out this post featuring more places to donate

[mediocre-megs]

honestly more media should portray the anti aging industry as horrific and decidedly unhuman. it IS body horror it IS grotesque it DOES go against nature*. it WILL kill you. yes.

*this is NOT anti-hrt or anti-vax or anything of the sort. i love criticisms of the anti aging industry + sci-fi/horror. i also love trans people and vaccines and medicine and science. i also don’t care if you personally have botox. this was a shitpost i made while high and 2/3 of the way through the substance (2024). terfs dni. cheers.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Hey, if you do crafts (especially things like crochet, knitting, embroidery, etc), make sure to look up how to identify when a listing is AI generated. You do NOT want to waste money on an incredible looking kit or pattern that is physically impossible to make, especially if you're on sites like etsy hoping to support an actual artist.

[skyrim-forever]

big plans tonight

[twinliches]

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords