#“Panic Attack”

[sorrowful-hyacinth]

Whumpril 2023

Pleasure in Pain #4

Day 1: Panic Attack

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Contents: TW threatened with burning, TW panic attack, Vampire Whumpee, Female Whumper, Whumper Turned Whumpee, Begging, Fear.

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With Lilith’s hand rested lazily on the lever, Cordova could feel his vision blur as he started to zone out. He began to feel his heart pounding as if trying to escape, his body was working overtime to compensate for the speed of his heart rate. His breath was labored as if there wasn’t enough oxygen in the world for him to breathe. He could feel the tips of his fingers tingling almost numbingly. He could have sworn that he could here his own blood circulating in his ears. His body was incredibly tense and yet he felt like his soul could leave his body at any second, if he had one that is. What’s happening to me? He had never experienced such an event, all he knew was that he wanted it to stop, but it wasn’t showing any sign of letting up. His chest was heaving and his hands shook against the silver restraints.

“Woah, no way.” Lilith looked on curiously. “You’re showing symptoms of a panic attack. I didn’t even know you could experience those. Fascinating.”

Cordova felt a his chest tighten as if a weight had been dropped on top of him, followed by a lump forming in his throat. What’s a panic attack? Am I really having one, is this normal?

“Listen, I’m not one for comforting, but maybe if I open the roof then you’ll snap out of it on your own.”

Through his wide-lens view, he saw Lilith pull the lever down enthusiastically. Almost immediately he was brought back to reality, his fight-or-flight trying to activate. He had never felt so much fear in his life, but he knew he never wanted the sun to touch even a hair on him ever again. The ceiling rumbled as the doorway to the sky was peeling itself away. He finally pushed the lump on his throat deep down and found his voice. He didn’t even think about what he was saying, it didn’t matter. “WAIT! WAIT! PLEASE! Please stop, please please please I’m begging you, please don’t let the sun in, please please, I can’t take it again, do anything you want to me, ANYTHING, just please don’t… d-don’t burn me.” Cordova continued to mutter incoherent pleas like a broken record player.

Lilith grinned from ear to ear as butterflies swarmed her stomach. She brought the lever to a middle placement to stop the ceiling from opening any further, but it didn’t retreat back. Cordova looked up at the ceiling and took a breath of relief as he laid his head back on the table.

“Oh, poor vampire. The sun frightens you so much that your own fear induces a panic attack in response to your trauma. I’d almost consider that human. But tell me, why shouldn’t I burn you? What’s going to stop me?”

Cordova lolled his forward so he could see Lilith. Her fingers danced along the lever as she leaned her back against the wall. How could I make her get away from that thing? He tried to think of what made her go over there in the first place. He remembered her faltering slightly when he cursed and threatened her, when he lashed out she seemed to want to correct his behavior. Is that it?

“Nothing to say? Well I tried.”

Lilith pushed the lever down, the opening grew wider. A ray of sunlight beamed past Cordova. His whole body shivered. “W-wait wait, stop, I-I’ll cooperate. Please stop it.” Lilith raised a brow, then leveled the lever.

“Cooperate? What makes you think I can’t force you to do what I want you to do? I mean, if you’re burnt to a crisp then that’s less restraint and struggling on you’re end which would make my job a whole lot easier, don’t you agree?”

“B-but, y-you don’t h-have to do that. I-I swear, you really don’t need to. I…” Cordova couldn’t believe he was stooping so low, so low as to apologize to a human, even begging to her put a dent in his pride, but nothing compared to the sheer force of the sun. “I’m s-sorry. Sorry for curs- c-calling you a bitch, a-a-and threatening you. I-I swear I won’t do that again, I’ll take anything you do to me w-willingly. I-I’ll answer your questions. Just please don’t do it, don’t burn me… Lilith.”

It showed on both of their faces that each of them were equally surprised by the use of her name, especially from a vampire. Lilith chuckled and sighed loudly.

“Well, how can I say no to that?”

Lilith pulled the lever up and the ceiling began to close. Any tension in Cordova’s body disappeared and he finally felt good enough to breathe. Lilith was practically skipping over to Cordova, humming amusingly. When she stopped in front of him, he could feel his chest start to tighten again.

“So, what should we get started with?”

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Date: April 1, 2023

Taglist: @turn-the-tables-on-them @whumpril

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[cheddar-baby]

Guinea Pigs Eating a Grass Field

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

i do think there is a degree to which certain kinds of Instagram activists have convinced themselves that traumatising themselves in solidarity is a useful form of activism. "I'm having nightmares and crying so much I want to be sick because of all these videos of dying children but I can't look away while people are getting hurt" I mean don't you think you'd be able to help more if you weren't having nightmares and crying all the time?? don't you think this is a one-way trip to burnout? don't you think maybe increasing the amount of trauma going around is counterproductive? I dunno bro there's something to be said for bearing witness but there comes a point where you gotta look hard at yourself and go "am I helping, or am I just making myself suffer so I don't feel guilty for not suffering while somebody else is experiencing bad shit"

[imactuallyagiraffe]

emo kids: “i’m bad with song titles”

the song titles in question:

[devotion-disorder]

featuring test subject Kuuya :D

[oblique-lane]

Right here, right now

[artsarasp]

Uh oh!

[Prev] [Masterpost]

[Disciples Extra]

[Mu Qingfang Extra]

[galacticgoldfishart]

so how's everyone else's day going?

[stump-not-found]

mabel pines #1 hater

[fr3sh-c0rn]

bitches will be like "oh yeah your heart beats really hard and you breathe faster, and you get, like, butterflies in your stomach" when you ask them what a crush is like no fam that is a panic attack

[willthespy]

i forgot how annoying drawing on a phone is

anyway have some solangelo

[teaboot]

I feel like if you're using a lot of disposable plastic bags in your day to day life, you've gotta do something sustainable to make up for it. Like using bamboo toilet paper or eco friendly cat litter or something, yknow

Honestly I exaggerate for comedic effect, while I DO routinely use ziplock bags to hold spaghetti I cook maybe once a month and the bag itself is usually for freezer storage. I actually throw out maybe one bag a week? I DO hate washing plates and tupperware and junk but that usually just means I eat sandwiches without a plate.

I agree though that needless waste should be avoided, and I do avoid it- biodegradable bags and recyclables, empty butter tubs used to store leftovers, etc.

This said, though, not applicable necessarily for myself but for a lot of others- I feel that it's importat to remember that there are many people who legitimately NEED things like plastic straws, or catheters, or pre-packaged foods

And the idea that that's a moral failing that individuals need to personally make up for when a single billionaire blows out more CO2 in a long weekend than I will in my whole life on a superjet meet-cute in the Bolivian rainforest between humvee drag races funded by the river-polluting textiles plants they planted in a third world country to avoid EPA laws and give an entire village stillbirths and stomach cancer is an idea that those very same bigwigs have spent a LOT of time and money investing in planting in the public psyche.

Like- Glass bottles are infinitely recyclable, so why are so many drinks in plastic now? Loads of drinks manufacturers used to buy them back and clean them for re-use, so why did they stop? If they chose to make something out of a limited and environmentally irresponsible material, why is it my failing to track down a correct process of disposal for them? What if there are none in my area? Do I lobby for more recycling plants in my area? Do I set aside some of my limited time outside the pain factory of my job- which I have more than one of, thanks to rising costs of things just like that drink I just emptied- to properly dispose of this company's waste FOR them?

Say coca-cola just rolled up to your town and started dumping millions of empty plastic bottles in the street, going, "wow, you should really think about building and staffing a recycling depot, it would be really shameful of you to just put these in the trash." When companies purposefully use materials with limited lifespans- because yes, even plastic can only be reused so many times- and tell you it's your own fault if it harms the environment- that's essentially what they're doing, just with more steps.

Yes, its important to be as environmentally concious as we can in our day to day life, but responsible sustainability is not catholicism. We don't get good boy points from our lord and savior Captain Planet every time the average low-income household gathers together to hold hands and repent for a single-use plastic that allows them to access something they need.

Entire families could eat trees and shit dead lithium batteries for years and still not do as much damage to the planet as an average dye plant or braindead celebrity does in a week just for fun, and I'm mad about it

...this went on longer than intended.

TL/DR: DO recycle and minimize waste, but don't beat yourself up over the little waste you can't avoid, and follow the money.

EDIT: Part 2

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[frownyalfred]

Bruce Wayne is the kind of parent who stays effortlessly cool while spearheading a long shot defense against a global invasion, but if one of his kids walks through the door with a new tattoo he has to sit down and take a few breaths.

[diamondzart]

I simply could NOT resist, okay?

I SHIP IT! I DON’T CARE! I SHIP IT :D

[niidsch]

Cooking Mama (クッキングママ) ✰ 2006