#“Oh Diomedes

[differentnerddiplomatopera]

Incorrect Odydiopen Quotes pt 2

Odysseus: Do you ever think before you speak?

Diomedes: I have never thought about anything, fuck you

Odysseus: *smol and buff*

Diomedes: *has a thing for Odysseus’s buffness*

Diomedes: mild mannered and friendly like 99% of the time

Odysseus: The only bastard that can get a rise out of them

Poseidon to Odysseus: You and your dreadful little polycule haven’t seen the last of me

Penelope: I need to go into town to get some things, can you two promise me not to kill each other while I'm gone?

Diomedes: Please, we're not children.

Penelope: *suspicious glare at them before leaving*

Odysseus*the moment the front door closes*: Eat shit and die.

Diomedes: Yes, fuck you too.

*comence gay laughter”

Diomedes: There will come a soldier, who carries a mighty sword, he will tear your city down, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord

Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord, he will tear your city down, oh lei, oh lai, oh lie, oh lord

Penelope: There will come a poet, who's weapon is her word, she slay you with her tongue, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord

Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord, she will slay you with her tongue, oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord

Odysseus:There will come a ruler, who's brow is laid in thorn, smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord

Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord, smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh lord

The three genders:

Penelope: Princess 

Odysseus: Slut

Diomedes: Loser

*Odydiopen at the movies*: Three tickets to Barbie

Diomedes: The best way to gain someone’s undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation.

Penelope: So you’re going to wait until Ody is in danger and save him?

Diomedes: Of course not, I’m going to create a situation that puts him in danger then save him.

Penelope: …

Penelope, under her breath, snickering: oh yes, this is gonna be fun

(Normalize Diomedes being a little (huge) bastard)

Odysseus: What did you two do?

Penelope:

Diomedes:

Odysseus: you’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I need to lie to Athena again or not

[friedmagazinebouquet]

Diomedes from the perspective of the Trojans vs the Greeks never fails to be entertaining, because on one hand you have the Trojans comparing him to Achilles, and saying how completely terrified they are of him

And then you have the Greeks.

[miyetko]

my three girlfriends, and yes, they smoke weed

[rowanisawriter]

Odysseus takes in breath after breath of stale city air. Even this high up with the constant breeze, he can still smell the lingering scent of cigarettes that hovers around Diomedes, and the packed and condensed smell of people and concrete buildings and the way rain smells when it’s a day or two behind but clings to brick, to stone, to trees and leaves, an echo of freshness behind the faint hint of decay.

He leans against the half wall, looking down at the lights of the evening. The sky is like spilled ink. Not a single star breaks through the invisible dome of light pollution.

“Thought I was going to die in there,” Diomedes says beside him, his cigarette slowly smoking in between his fingers.

“I’m glad that was so amusing to you,” Odysseus says.

“Come on, it was funny.” Diomedes nudges him with a massive shoulder. “It was. Achilles hitting Agamemnon was funny.”

“I think he got some blood on my shirt.”

.

thank you @deadbaguette for this perfect art of a scene from my iliad lawyer AU, synergy! they look just as stressed and overworked as i imagined lol

[ellilyre]

When odydio fuck, both of them tend to moan Athena's name out of everyday habit and let me tell you she hates it

Odysseus : I didn't know you're homophobic ://

Athena : I hate both men and sex whether these matters are individual or linked together. Now stop blaspheming my name before l revoke your god-favoured privileges.

[roachcicle]

CHAT !!!!

[fangirlofallthefanthings]

Do you have any headcanons about the relationship between Diomedes and Athena? I feel like their dynamic is incredibly compelling and under-explored

Oooooo... That I do!

From what I've gathered from the Iliad, Diomedes' relationship with Athena is much more formal than Odysseus' relationship with Athena. So here's what I've got:

I imagine Athena sees Dio as an obligation. She feels that she must watch over Dio as an obligation to his father (despite Tydeus going a little coo coo at the end there). When Tydeus dies, Diomedes is a little boy of four with only his mother, sister, and grandfather to take care of him. Because of the Seven Against Thebes' failure, very few could protect her former bestie's son. So she felt the need to at least watch him.

Athena was very distant from him, though. Conversations were rare and usually only happened if she was helping him in battle. To be blatantly obvious, Athena was hesitant to interact with Dio. Because of what happened and how Tydeus died, she sees the family as tainted. She can't shake what happened (I go into more detail here). So she just watches.

Because she's so distant, Diomedes sees her as above him. She's a god. He's a mortal. That's all they ever will be. Yes, he knows he has a stronger relationship with her than most (one of his eyes turned grey, so her influence is evident), but she's not a friend. She's a protector and ally, sure, but far from someone he would consider a friend.

That starts to change over time (partly thanks to OdyPen and partly because of Athena's growth), but I won't totally give it away.

[lyculuscaelus]

Thinking about how Menelaus talked of his good old friend Odysseus in book 4 of the Odyssey

Thinking about how he would’ve offered Odysseus an Argive city and asked him to move in along with his wealth and his son and his people, how they would’ve met each other frequently, delighted in each other’s company, until death enfolded them both

Thinking about the possibility of him actually doing that after Odysseus’s return and Odysseus actually going there with his family and people. Once again Penelope would return to her homeland for a visit though oftentimes she would just chill with Helen, and Telemachus would be able to visit Pylos once in a while, and Odysseus would be thrilled to meet up with all the friends he had made during the war, Menelaus, Nestor, and especially…Diomedes. Yes, Diomedes—but as he found out his dear friend was no longer in Argos. Now what would happen if Odysseus went on another journey to seek him out, maybe taking Telemachus along perhaps Peisistratus too— (Diomedes’s exile probably didn’t happen in the Epic Cycle but nevertheless…) Anyways everybody reunites with their friends and they all happily live ever after—

I need to see this so bad.

[deadbaguette]

I see Odysseus passed around different ships like a blunt it’s insane, but it always comes back to OdyPen which makes me happy

[ilions-end]

Odysseus and Diomedes capture Dolon

Illustration by Helen Maitland Armstrong from the book Achilles & Hector: Iliad stories retold for boys and girls (1903) by Agnes Cook Gale

[backpackingspace]

Listen can we talk about the fact that odysseus, Penelope, and telemculus all cry at a drop of hat and then you have Athena and diomedes sitting there like :/// embarrassing

[dionysism]

ooooh that post that said diomedes is loyal in the way an attack dog is loyal... yeah... yeah

[thematicparallel]

when your knowing changes nothing 🧍🏽‍♀️🕳

[hermesmoly]

Thoughts on Agamemnon?

Complex character, good older brother, a war criminal with a lot of blood on his hands, an asshole whose pride is greater than most of the soldier's combined, and sometimes quite endearing

[marieisnothere12]

on thr plane my mom watched troy and i read the iliad ans i was fucking side eyeing thr screen so hard

[lyculuscaelus]

It’s just Grieving People getting angry after a quarrel with the Much Remembered One. It’s just Strength of People dueling against Protected Man—the man protected by goddess of love herself. It’s just my bestie, Zeus’s Plans, beating two gods up in one day. It’s just the ten of us volunteering to duel against the One Holding Fast—seemed like the gods had chosen Lamenter, son of Bear. It’s just the two of us vibing—me and my bestie Zeus’s Plans. It’s just us killing people and stealing horses and ambushing people and stealing the little Athena in the middle of the night. Nothing unusual. It’s just the most of us fighting for our lives and ships while Grieving People and Father’s Glory were vibing in their ship. It’s just Father’s Glory proving himself to be the glory of his father with his one last aristeia. It’s just Grieving People grieving. It’s just Grieving People fighting. It’s just the One Holding Fast fighting for breath. It’s just a city losing the only one who was holding it fast. It’s just me winning the foot race—take that, Little Lamenter! It’s just the Purchased One ransoming for the One Holding Fast’s body. Grief Bringer came and fell, bringing grief to Grieving People. Remembered One came and fell, leaving his fame remembered. Against Ambush did see it coming. He died protecting his father, the Returned One, against that ambush. I remember the day when Grieving People stopped grieving. Forever. We fought together, and against each other, Lamenter and I. It’s a tragedy his laments went too extreme. We shouldn’t have left Friend Acquiring back in Lemnos. Now I’ve lost a potential friend. But my bestie and I had to bring him back. Protected Man was no longer protected, by either his people or his goddess. Wide Gates, grandson of Hera’s Glory, came and slayed in battle. My bestie and I had to bring Grieving People’s son New Soldier here. He was too brutal even for a teenager, though. That was my plan, the wooden horse thing. I fought alongside Strength of People for a long time. He did find his Corposant in the end. I just wanted to go back to mine. Lord of City was smiling in his cradle. How could I let him down? But I had to, because I was the Hated One. Hated by gods, hated by men. Maybe it all started when I boasted before that blinded Much Fame. Or maybe it all started when they opened the wind bag. Or maybe it all started when Wide Ambush persuaded them all to eat the cattle of the Sun. Or maybe it all started when Overcoming Plans overcame my plan, when he started to mess with my son. Still, nothing a murder can’t take care of. Or maybe it all started when I offered a plan to solve this dilemma of suitors, when I won the hand of my Duck, my Weaver. Kudos wasn’t the only thing I was fighting for, back in Troy, here in Ithaca. And I had my revenge now, me and my son Far From Battle—what a distant fighter has he become. And now I have reunited with her, my Duck, my Weaver. It’s time to look for a stranger, who’d compliment on my winnowing oar.