#“I'm going to block that one- you better remember that” Im going to fuck your mom- remember that when the wedding comes

[ofpd]

1st century roman siege of jerusalem dashboard simulator

🐮 barkamtza

why does this shit always happen to me

#oh my goddd the ONE time it seems like people actually wanna hang out with me. #turns out they meant to invite kamtza instead #everyone hates me and i was SO fucking nice i offered to pay for the party #god i'm so pathetic. kms kms kms #they're gonna pay for this i swear #delete later

0 notes

📜 zekharya-ben-avkolas

Ok so obv it's not ok to sacrifice a blemished calf but the blemish is just on the eyelid? So maybe it's ok? But also and i don't want people to start going around thinking that it's ok to sacrifice blemished animals. But the thing is that if i don't bar Kamtza will tell the Romans we insulted them and that will be bad probably. And like no one likes bar Kamtza anyway will people really miss him..... but ugh neither of these seem like good things to do i don't feel like it's my place to make a decision about this :/

32 notes

🏛 vespasian reblogged

🏺neronero

off to war wish me luck! 🇲🇪🏹

🏺neronero

nvm guys. ✡️✡️

🏛 vespasian

my turn lol

53 notes

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport reblogged

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport

Hey everyone! These are difficult times, and some friends and I have put together some mutual aid resources for our community to have access to wheat, barley, wine, salt, oil, and wood! More info below the cut. Take care of yourselves! 🫶

Read more

🧑🏽‍🦳 not-an-airport

fuck

7,235 notes

⚔️ biryonei-yerushalayim

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm trying to ask this in good faith, and I hope you can take it that way. how can you possibly defend burning our grain stores. I understand that you want to radicalize more people but you're taking things too far. Jerusalem's blood is on your hands.

anon, what you need to understand is that the blame for the carnage in jerusalem lies primarily in the hands of the roman invaders and secondarily in the hands of the rabbis for refusing to resist. would you have told the hashmonaim not to resist their oppressors by any means necessary? just because this is getting inconvenient for you doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing it. it's frankly offensive that you'd imply that we, the defenders of jerusalem, should incur any blame for her current state.

#biryonim.answer #grain storage discourse

231 notes

🛡 goel-yisrael

did anyone else see the "zealot blocklist" going around lmaooo

#how do these liberals expect anyone to take them seriously #do they not have anything better to do.

7 notes

📚 stammaim reblogged

stopbeingpoor-deactivated3830102

ughh why is my servant so incompetent! i deserve the best flour why doesn't he get it...

stopbeingpoor

ykw i'll go get some myself. i'm desperate at this point i gotta do something

stopbeingpoor

EWWWW update: i stepped in something NASTY. this is why i don't fucking go out oh my god im gonna die

stopbeingpoor

gonna throw my gold & silver away for the good of the peasants or whatever it's not like it's any use to me when im literally dying -_-

📚 stammaim

lmao look at this it's exactly what yehezkel was talking about! ur gold won't save you!

#yehezkel #marta b. baitos

162 notes

🕎 yalla-hapoel

🌿 amicus-iudaeorum asked:

Hey, love your posts! They're very informative about the Jewish perspective on this war. I'm just wondering whether you condemn the actions of the zealots? I don't really feel comfortable following someone who supports that.

are you fr.

#if youre seriously concerned about this idt this is the blog for you i fear

28 notes

🛡 goel-yisrael reblogged

📖 ben-zakkai

⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ lol

🛡 goel-yisrael

? what does this mean

🗡 abbasikkara

dw about it bestie

🛡 goel-yisrael

ok 💗 yay 💗

6 notes

👩🏽‍🌾 discoursedumpblog

I've compiled a list of some of the most rabid zealots on this website. Remember, don't engage, just block and move on.

Read more

152 notes

🏛 vespasian reblogged

🏛 vespasian

some jew got an audience with me & called me king (im literally not lol thats so disrespectful to the actual king + if i was king then he shouldve met w me much earlier??), i think i should kill him

🏛 vespasian

AND my shoe is being so annoying. horrible day 👎

📖 ben-zakkai

omg just came across this old post

🏛 vespasian

OMG sorry i don't mean it anymore 🙏

14 notes

🫒 a-simple-yid

yirmiyahu tzadak...

#not to pretentiously quote tanakh but literally like. #hashiveinu hashem eilekha venashuva hadeish yameinu kekedem.

3 notes

[starlightazriel]

bee 9

series desc: modern best friends > lovers (fem reader) tattoo artist az

warnings: 18+, az acting crazy and toxic haha, arguing/angst, just the beginning of the groveling, simp behavior hahaha, drug/alcohol addiction, reader struggling, heart break, time jumps, aa, depression mess, az is literally falling apart at the seams, don't expect good decisions from reader lol she's hurting that's all ima say

a/n: wow I know I ain't shit this took me so long I'm sorry angst central too ik

wc: 3.8k

other parts can be found on my az masterlist <3

nine

"Say the word Bee, I'll knock on his door and knock him out." His jaw was tight, eyes dark with the desire to inflict pain. Real pain, sometimes that side of Azriel scared me, these days it would only make my panties wet.

"Im fine Az," I wiped tears from my face with the back of my sleeve, my chest tightened slightly at his willingness to put himself at risk for my naivety. "Hes not worth it anyway," I added, trying desperately to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Well that youre right about. Tried to tell you he didnt deserve you," he pauses, his face looking displeased. There's a moment of silence and it made me wish I had the courage to fill it with my feelings for him. "Please stop looking so sad though. Bings will help," he smirks, trying the only way he knew how to lighten the mood, he held up his bong, already freshly packed. I sighed softly, letting a small smile tug at the corner of my lips despite the ache I felt in my chest.

"Yeah they might," I smirk a little bit, and take the bong from him, taking one of my little baby hits, I shove the bong back in his direction, coughing obnoxiously despite the small hit. Normally he would make fun of me, I figured he was sparing me the embarrassment in light of the current situation.

"I can kick his ass," he repeats and I just shake my head at him. I didn't doubt it either— when it came to me, Az didn't have any limits. He would go down swinging for me, no matter who it was.

Thinking back on that memory... It made me feel sick, that now he was the one to hurt me.

I had made the mistake of trusting Azriel too much. I knew better. I knew he wasn't ready for this and still I let myself live in some little fantasy world for weeks. And now... Now I was dealing with the consequences.

My heart was shattered.

Incomparable to my insignificant couple of break ups in the past... This was so much worse.

Az... My Az. Maybe not my Az after all.

He clearly couldn't even handle a relationship.

Or maybe... The alternative made my stomach sink.

Maybe he knew the entire time that he was moving and he was just passing the time until he did? Az wouldn't do that... Would he?

You can know someone forever... As soon as there are drugs involved... Well, nothing is guaranteed.

It seemed to be just as hard for me to admit that he had a problem than it was for him. I hated it, but this pain— it made me see things more clearly, see him more clearly.

I couldn't bring myself to block him. I did have to turn my phone off for a while because not picking up was just becoming hard. 39 missed face time calls, 12 missed regular calls, and a handful of text messages that I was leaving on read.

baby please just talk to me

i'm so sorry shit was so fucking stupid

please come home

bee i swear i'll come over there and drag you out of that house by your hair

you know i didnt mean that

im sorry

i need you bee, don't shut me out

just talk to me

i'll stop drinking so much i'll do whatever please just fucking talk to me

cass is a fucking idiot nothing happened i swear baby i didn't fuck anyone.

The messages were spaced out minutes between some, hours between others. I couldn't help myself when I typed out a reply to the last one.

how do you know you didn't fuck anyone? do you even remember? You were getting your fucking grind on with a random ass bottle girl. or maybe she wasn't random lol who fucking knows with you. and you had your face in tits Az. Tits. WERE TOUCHING YOUR CHEEKS. AND YOU WERE SMILING LIKE YOU LOVED EVERY FUCKING SECOND. AND I BET YOU DID CUS YOU LOOKED HIGH OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND.

It was only seconds before he read it and was typing.

i didn't fuck anyone. i only want you. i'm just a dumbass. bro please do not do this shit to me. i will do ANYTHING to make this up to you that's on literally everything.

And another one.

you don't have a choice anyway and i swear if i catch you outside with any of these mother fuckers yo youre both done

And another.

its not a threat its a warning don't play with me

I groaned in frustration and tossed my phone to the side. It was all so... Exhausting. My chest quite literally hurt. And the audacity, please don't do this to him?

He did this to us.

And why the fuck did he think he owned me? I hated that it made my heart flutter— bottle girls, titties, Vegas. I reminded myself.

Sick.

I had confessed everything to my mom the first day I had came back to my parents house, which in hindsight I wished I hadn't. Knowing me... I would be back in Azriels bed within days of being back, my cheeks burned at the thought. No matter what he did, it didn't change the way I now knew how he could make me feel.

She had always loved Az, since day one... He had practically been a part of our family at one point, joining our family dinners every night, even my dad and him had a certain respect for each other. 'Some people are just better off as friends,' was my mom's response to the whole ordeal. Maybe she was right, but I didn't like it, not now.

How could we go back to that?

Was it possible to go back to that?

-

The stress, the heaviness of my heart... I couldn't stop myself from swiping a cig from my dad's secret stash in the garage. I was now sat on the rocking chair on my parent's front porch, debating on what I was going to do when I returned home. I had to go soon, it had already been weeks now I was starting to dip into my old wardrobe.

I had been commuting to class even though it was much farther than Azriel's apartment. I just didn't know what to say when I saw him. I didn't even know how to bring up the fact that I knew he was moving. Did he plan on telling me? What had been his plan for my living situation if he didnt have the apartment anymore? Had he even thought about it?

"So you're smoking now?" his voice causes me to jump, my heart nearly leaping from my chest as my head snaps to Azriel who's standing there, one hand shoved in his pocket other hand gripping a small bouquet of flowers. Scarred fingers against delicate stems, my cheeks turned pink remembering what he had done to me with those fingers. That feeling soon turned to anger remembering what he else he had done, he's frozen now, maybe half way up the stone path leading to my parents front door.

"Jesus Az what the fuck?" I breathed out, exhaling a shaky breath, my tone laced with a venom I had never used with him before. "You scared the fuck out of me, what are you even doing here?"

"You know what I'm doing here," his voice is soft but slightly strained, my stomach twists at the pain I can feel, radiating off of him. I didnt know how he did that, he was always able to change the air around me— like I was so hyper aware of him that I could sense his feelings.

"Az-"

"I love you," he cuts me off, my breath hitches, his cheeks are slightly pink, hand still shoved into his pocket. I set the burning cigarette down on the can beside me, I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

So long.

I had waited to hear those words for so fucking long. And now, here, under these circumstances— it didnt feel how I imagined it would. It didnt feel how it was supposed to.

"I love you too Azriel you know I do but I-"

"But what? You dont want me because Im so fucked up right?" His voice drops slightly, his throat bobbing and I noticed his grip tighten on the bouquet in his hand. His face was soft— pained, and my heart cracked again, remembering that boy so many years ago bruised and bloody with that same heartbroken face of betrayal, and now I had done that to him. "Im sorry, Im so fucking sorry please—"

"I didn't say that," I mumbled, my heart felt like it was bleeding in my chest, like there would be nothing left once he walked away. He didn't dare to step closer. "I just- I need some time Az," I mumbled softly and he closed his eyes for a minute before tugging at his hair, huffing out a frustrated breath. He looked like he would get down on his knees for me, like he would beg me if I asked him to.

"I know what that means Bee," he huffs out another small breath, his face slowly contorting into that hard cold stare I knew him to hide behind. "Anyway," he breaths out, looking away from me. "I'm going to change your mind, we—" he struggles again before giving up, I could see his eyes were bloodshot as he got closer, dark circles prominently underlining them. "Here," he finally says, he shoves the bouquet in my hand, there was an envelope taped to the side of it with my name on it.

"I'm coming home soon Az," I mumble, though, I didn't even know if I was ready for the conversation the two of us would be having. "I told you we could talk then," I add and he sighs, stepping back off of the porch.

"I'll see you soon then," he muttered softly and just shrugged his shoulders, I could tell he wanted to run to me... He wanted to wrap me in his arms and kiss me. He wanted to strangle me also— I could see that too, that deep rooted need for control, to make me see things his way. I couldn't blame him— it stemmed from years of physical abuse, traumas I would never truly be able to understand.

"Go home Az. Goodnight, thank you, for the flowers," is the last thing I say before walking back inside shutting the door behind me, in his face. I didnt watch him walk away, that short conversation had been painful enough. I put the flowers in some water and tore open the mini envelope despite how angry I was with him.... Seeing him, made me crave him so much more.

'I could lose every single thing I have in this world but I can't lose you. I miss you. Please stop shutting me out. I can't take much more of this Bee.'

His handwriting was rushed— desperate messy scrawl, guilt twisted in my gut. I couldn't help it... I had nothing to feel guilty about and yet... Imagining him alone, needing me, missing me... Enough to buy flowers and scribble out a little note. More than I'd ever seen him do for any other woman.

I couldn't fall for it.

My chest tightened and tears welled up in my eyes. Why did he have to fuck everything up? It had been so perfect. Leave it to a fucking man to ruin everything.

-

Azriel swallowed the bile that rose in his throat as he stared blankly in front of him at all of the faces looking back at him. His palms were sweaty, ears hot with embarrassment and he couldn't stop tapping his foot. He had opted not to get up and stand at the front, feeling much more secure in his seat toward the back of the room.

"Hi, uh, my name is Azriel, I'm twenty five, and Im um— Im an alcoholic," it was the first time he'd ever said it out loud, it tasted horrible on his tongue. "I've um I've been addicted to drinking alcohol probably for about ten years- Got me into other- shit and I'm here today because I fell in love with my best friend and um- I don't want to lose her. Never tried to quit drinking before— never really believed I had a problem but— yeah, here I am," his voice had gotten quieter as he finished and he realized he was rambling. His cheeks burned, he hated all the eyes on him, hated that he was the center of attention. And he was craving a line, bad.

His introduction was followed by many 'Hi Azriels,' which only made him feel more uncomfortable. They tried to make him feel welcome, tried to relate to him— get him to open up. He thought he might explode but he listened though. He listened to each and every persons story that shared. And when it was over the leader gave him a small white chip, service, unity, recovery. A pledge to a new beginning, toward sobriety.

He sighed and shoved it into his pocket, he was sitting on the step now, to go coffee cup in his hand, black obviously. Isn't that what recovering alcoholics did? Drink black coffee and smoke cigarettes?

"Can I bum one?" a male voice asks and next thing he knows he's sitting down next to him, he was a bit older, maybe 40.

"Sure," he mutters and pulls a cigarette from the pack and extends it to him, he recognized him from inside the meeting.

"It's Max, if you didn't catch it in there."

"Azriel," he mumbles, looking straight ahead at the cars passing by. He didn't know how to feel. He didn't want to get sober. But he needed Bee. He couldn't lose her, after getting a taste? He couldn't handle not having her again. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You need a sponsor?" he asks, raising an eyebrow, Azriel shrugs, the new sobriety coin felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket. The anxiousness... The insatiable desire to rid himself of any of his uncomfortable feelings by doing a line and buying a bottle... How the hell was he supposed to stay sane?

"You going to be my sponsor?"

"First things first, don't wear a cocaine vile around your neck to an AA meeting."

-

I was quiet, careful when I slowly pushed open the door to Azriels apartment, my apartment too, I guess. Not for long.

It didn't feel like home anymore— the sickening feeling that twisted in my gut as I took a step inside. It was quiet, he wasn't home... Fucking filthy. There was pizza boxes and take out containers, ash everywhere, multiple ash trays made from various things, there were unfinished cigs and blunts everywhere that made it smell awfully of cigarettes and stale weed. Cocaine residue and half crushed pills were out on the coffee table like it was normal. I swallowed thickly, a soft breath leaving my lips I knew I shouldn't feel guilty, shouldn't feel bad that he obviously wasn't okay... But I did, I just left him. Never, never had I ever done that to Azriel. I was the one constant in his life, the one person who was always there. Ever since that day in front of my house all those years ago.

Titties, bottle girls, moving to Vegas. I reminded myself, my stomach turned again. So angry. Fucking idiot.

I entered the kitchen for a glass of water, needing something to calm that sick feeling. The bile that rose in my throat that felt like I was about to hurl everything I ate for the past three days. I thought better of it quickly, before I consumed anything from this rancid kitchen I would need to deep clean and disinfect.

Dirty dishes in the sink, the dishwasher hanging open half loaded still with clean dishes like he had just been taking them from there and hadn't bothered to put anything away, empty liquor bottles overflowing from the small recycling bin, more take out containers, a bong tipped over, the foul smelling water from it still dripping off of the counter, a small puddle of brownish water collected on the white tile.

What the fuck?

My room was the only room that didnt smell like bong water and cigarettes, but still, he had been in here. Maybe even slept in here. Papers covered the floor, not just papers but drawings. There were drawings of me everywhere. Just me, me naked, him and I together, kissing, fucking, our hands intertwined— there were even drawings of us when we were younger. A little messy, like he had been pressing down so hard— drawing with such emotion that he kept breaking his utensil of choice that day.

I let out a soft sob, my hand flying to cover my mouth.

Fuck.

Kat. I needed Kat.

I tried to swallow the growing lump in my throat again and pulled my phone out to check her location. Of course she was at the shop.

-

"Hey," the bells chime softly as I walk into the shop, there was no one in the waiting room besides Kat and she looked up from her phone, our eyes locking.

"Heyyy baby," she greets, flashing me a smile that soon turns into a frown, her eyebrows drawing together. "Are you good?"

"No," I loosed a shaky breath, advancing to the counter, I leaned against it like I had so many times, but my chest was fucking aching. It was so fucking infuriating that nothing felt the same, nowhere felt the same. I guessed this was what heart break really felt like, seeing the world in every color one day and then black and white the next. "Is he here?" I dropped my voice lower, playing with one of the knick knacks on the desk to distract myself.

"No, he left a while ago, didnt say where he was going," she's still frowning, the worried look still plastered on her face.

"The house Kat?" I paused, making a face. "It's fucking disgusting, I don't understand how hes living like that," my harsh words could have only been brought on by anger, she softens, her look turning more sympathetic which annoys me only, I ignore it.

"He hasn't been the best at work either— snapping on everyone, late every day and fucked up," she lets out a small sigh, "Rhys is fucking pissed," she pulls her lip between her teeth.

"Fuck Rhys, honestly," I mutter quietly, she raises an eyebrow in response but I only ignore it. Of course, none of this was his fault, but still Vegas. Why fucking Vegas? "It's my turn to get fucked up, anyway, that's why I'm here I bought a bottle to pregame, just needed my bitch and one of her miniskirts," my words are met with a grin.

"Babes you know I got you."

-

I hadn't been drunk in a while, so to say the least I was enjoying myself. The pounding of the music, talking to strangers, dancing with Kat. I had needed all of this.

To slip out of my mind for a few hours and just let go.

Kat was definitely enjoying herself now too, and was dancing with some tall sexy man she had just met. I was keeping to myself for the most part, on the edge of the dance floor, swaying my hips to the music as I surveyed the scene with a fuzzy mind.

My mouth popped open in slight surprise and when I felt curiosity instead of the desire to leave immediately, I knew I had drank too much. There was Eris, in all his jewelry and expensive clothes, looking poised and composed as always. Long pale ringed fingers wrapped around a glass of amber liquid. I hadn't seen him since the night we shared.

"You ghosted me princess."

"I had other things going on— and I didnt finish," I smile boredly, not meeting his gaze, it must have been the liquor making me so bold, he scoffs slightly his eyebrows raising in surprise.

"Let me buy you a drink then, to make up for it, must have been an off day for me," he inquires, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction that my body was basically broken with anyone except for Azriel, I would let him believe it was his fault. His ego could be taken down a peg, anyway.

"I have one already," I raise it up slightly, smirking as I swirl the liquid around in the cup.

"Not anymore," in a swift motion he takes the glass from my hand and dumps the drink in a near by plant, a fake plant. I squeaked, looking around to see if anyone else had witnessed it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? It's fake and you just filled it with liquor and juice! Have you even heard of a fruit fly?" I demanded, swaying a bit on my feet, liquor buzzing through my veins. If anyone did that at my bar, I scoffed slightly at the thought staring him down judgmentally for his utter carelessness.

"It's fake, so the liquor won't kill it," he flashed me his insufferable sexy grin before adding "there's wins and losses to every decision we make," his eyes flashed and I stopped for a moment, weighing those words.

No, I can't get caught up in this. I had to figure out what was going on with Azriel and I. "And now you don't have a drink and I get to buy you one, so I win, Im not really concerned nor do I care about any of the losses. Besides, I only ever come here looking for you, so I don't care if they get fruit flies." That cocky smirk he wore, the way he carried himself... He did look good. That piercing gaze, the confidence that radiated off of him along with his expensive dizzying cologne.

I remembered what Az had said about him 'theres a lot of people that would kill him in this city' hearing his words echo in my head, knowing how much he hated that I'd been with Eris... I swallowed, my cheeks turning pink.

Az didnt care when he was fucked up, when he was smushing his face between those two bottle girls titties he didnt think about me at home— waiting for him.

So I wouldn't care now.

I didnt think about him, I didnt think about what it would do to him when I wrapped my fingers up into Eris expensive shirt and yanked his tall frame down to me.

"Wins and losses you say?" I whisper before pressing a kiss to his lips.

-

a/n: cliffhangerrr only time and comments will tell if yalll are mad about this drama HAHA sorry I had to drag the groveling out into multiple parts Az WILL be on his KNEES in the near future

taglist <3: @smalljasper289 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @scorpioriesling @userxs-blog @lilah-asteria @abadfantasybook @judeduartewannbe @lindsayscottagebythesea @velarisdusk @serxndipity-ipity-blog @julesvanslutta @honk4emoboyz @bookishbishhh @dakotali @blessthepizzaman @scooobies

IF ANYONES TAG DIDNT WORK IM SO SORRY

[zorosleftmantit101]

NSFW 18+ "Nudes? 🤲"

How straw hats would react to you asking for nudes and what type of photo they send?

NOTICE: I do not condone sending nudes nor do I encourage it! Especially if it is to somebody you don't know or if you are not of age. Remember your voice matters and if anyone reading this ever experiences something like this don't be afraid to speak up and speak out. Whether it's a stranger a friend or a relationship you should never be made to feel like you must show your body if it makes you uncomfortable.

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Franky, Brook

A/N: willy wanka

C/W: NSFW - 18 plus, Minors do what you want idgaf‼️, im not accountable for your mentality and im not yo mum. Swearing, Nudes, brook gets his on warning cause his puns sky rocket death rates.

Luffy:

"What is that?, you want photos of my skin or some shit cause if you do I have a pretty gnarly staph infection on my elbow"

- Makes Law explain it to him

Relieases what you're talking about now,

Knows what a nude is he just didn't know they were called "nudes"

"Ohhhh you wanna see my cock"

The way he says it so nonchalantly always sends blood rushing to your cheeks

Luffy sends the most fucking android quality photos of his dick from above that you wouldn't be surprised if he had taken the photo with his fucking microwave.

- sends a silly selfie going like this

(✌️😝)straight after cause, he's a fuck ass

Zoro:

"Why"

...

"Cause 💔"

...

"Fair point"

Zoro doesn't in any way dislike nudes, especially when they're from you all dolled up in the lingerie he bought you making him have to excuse himself to go sort out his fat fucking boner.

The only reason he is reluctant is because he's fucking lazy as all shit, he wants to get a good pic for you, one that he knows you'll touch yourself to until he gets home, but it's just such a long process. He'll never deny your request of course but only 3/10 of the time do they have effort. Lazy ones often include top-angle photos of him holding his erection in his veiny arms, but the ones with effort... he's got his sweat pants pulled down just enough that he can fist his cock while holding his t-shirt up between his teeth.

Sanji:

Cums in his pants as soon as you ask‼️

No matter where he is or what he is doing he'll excuse himself to take the perfect photos and sends you a wide range of photos from every possible fucking angle. Has so many photos in his camera roll that photos make one of those little memory slide shows with the fucking stock happy music in the background.

Usopp:

"OK LOVE, ILL DEFINITELY GET TO THAT RIGHT NOW, YES RIGHT NOW TAKING A PHOTO OF MYSELF, FOR YOU, BECAUSE IM YOUR LOVE!"

"Babe it's ok you don't have to I can wait till you get home 😊"

"NO NO NO I WANT TO I JUST GOTTA FIGURE OUT HOW"

he's nervous alright he wants to take the best picture for you but he also doesn't know what you want you to see,

Sends a picture from the side his erection standing tall with his slender fingers rubbing at the tip.

"Oh shit babe thats hot"

*Usopp has invited you to play beer pong!*

Franky:

"Oh hell yeah you wanna see my nuts and bolts"

-you blocked Franky 💕

Brook:

"My love as much as I would love to I'm better off sending you an x-ray. I guess you could say it's a little bare-boned down their YOHOHOHOH"

-Brook also gets blocked 💕

This just progressively turned into a shit post.

[femmeroi]

I'm almost done w this Majoime Zone blocker I just wanna do some quality adjustments still

This is a cry for help what do I do for the other FOUR zone blockers

Also under the cut is the Ojama Tokens (including Ojama Yaoi) I'm gonna add glitter n shiny shit to them when they're printed ↓

Im making custom Ojama tokens for locals and Woah these guys are fun to draw. Theyre so shape and so little while being so much all at once

[gnomewithalaptop]

Transcendence AU Dash Simulator GO!!!

31 notes

🌟 lesbianstellaconifer Follow

okay but actually block me if you ship mizcor -- 'hurr durr but we age stella up' -- SHUT UPPP she's literally a minor and alcor's canonically over a million years old so how about you stop being a freak

🎩 woodsmans-left-nipple Follow

Babe I hate to break this to you but Mizcor's literally one of the most famous relationships in all of post-transcendental literature

🌟 lesbianstellaconifer Follow

I could not have more obviously been talking about Mizar the Magnificent but you know what? Yeah classic Mizcor supporters can fuck off too actually.

Everybody likes to whip out Twin Souls like some kind of gotcha but have you even actually read it??? Like it's literally supporting demon worship and pedophilia -- both of which are EXTREMELY ILLEGAL btw. So yeah if I see any of my followers reblogging that shit I'm reporting you to the Occult Defense Agency idc if we're mutuals

🐟 demonologyturnedmegay Follow

*looks at my Alcorian Literature PhD* guess we better stock up on prison shivs buddy

🍃 haveyouseenmylibrary Follow

okay I'm sorry but

and Mizar the Magnificent isn't????

5k notes

📷 nature-pics-daily

Los Angeles 🏝️

#sunken city of los angeles #new california #travel #ocean #photography #lmao i almost got eaten by a kelpie trying to take this pic pls reblog it

98 notes

🧁 definitely-mizar Follow

Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that The Scepter of Vanquished Souls, the newest book in the Wanderlust Trilogy, is now available for pre order on Glamazon!

Purchasers of the hard-cover edition will also receive never-before-seen content, including a deleted scene between Princess Samia and the Shadow King!

🤷‍♂️ not-not-ian-beale Follow

Boosting because I honestly cannot recommend this book enough. Truly one of Mira's best (and I'm not just saying that because she married me!)

25k notes

⚠️ alv Follow

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You are the 6 billionth user to log into Jumblr today!! This means you are eligible to win a FREE WACBOOK PRO!!!! Click here to claim your prize and win BIG BIG REWARDS!!

#twin souls #mizar #alcor #mizcor #twin souls: reawakened #twin souls: breaking circles #twin souls: newest moon #twinner #twincon3015 #not a scam

Based on your likes!

0 notes

🌞 azarath-metrion-zinthirst Follow

So. I had a day.

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

Okay, but consider

🌞 azarath-metrion-zinthirst Follow

I don't remember my older brother's wedding

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

A small price to pay for no middle school trauma

🐧 selkiebael Follow

Okay so I just read the url and--

Asfdksfjk go off you funky lil intern

📖 stanley-pines-memorial-library Follow

I'm actually the senior librarian. But thanks!

🐈 alcorphabetical Follow

Posts that have 10k notes. To me

15k notes

🔮 demonoftheday Follow

Today's demon of the day is Nxlar the Antithetical! Responsible for the Florida Springs Massacre of 3007, the body count for this purveyor of madness is estimated to be over 400 (source).

🐸 that-one-half-elf-bitch

I could fix her

41 notes

🍑 lookingformygnomequeen Follow

literally screaming crying throwing up rn I've turned off 'Based on your likes' like eight times @staff can't you just get rid of him already

2.5k notes

🎤 rosaslittleredboots Follow

#i accidentally set my alchemy textbook on fire today and i don't even care AAAAAA this is going to be amazing #northwest mansion mystery #pacifica northwest #rosa darling #im about to be so insufferable about this just you wait

616 notes

👹 sexiestdemon3015bracket Follow

🐸 that-one-half-elf-bitch

Nxlar SWEEEEEP!!!

#if you love me at all you'll vote for my lady love #LISTEN i could bring her to the light i nkow i could

37 notes

👻 sweetthingsaremadeofdeeznuts

Lmao so Nxlar the Antithetical totally turned my apartment complex into a pile of sentient sludge yesterday. I'm fine -- I was at work when it all went down, but uh... yeah, my situation obviously just became super not-great. I hate to ask, but I don't get paid til the 15th, so if some of y'all could float me some cash just so I can get a motel room for a couple nights, I'll fr owe you a life debt

Goal: 0/250

FundFriend

LenMo

#fuck demons fr #like seriously what'd i ever do to them 😭😭😭 #mutual aid #pls boost #don't tag as donation

17 notes

🏳️‍⚧️ gliesssse Follow

Important PSA

So idk if y'all have been reading the news lately, but the alcor virus has been making the rounds on the interwebs again. I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but PLEASE don't click any random links rn, ESPECIALLY if they're tagged with twin souls.

I know we twinners love to joke about it, but the alcor virus is legitimately dangerous and has been known to seriously ruin people's lives. Idk. Just like be smart and practice basic caution I guess? Jumblr's pretty much dead these days, so he might skip over us, but it's always better to be safe than sorry

⚠️ alv Follow

This is a good point! It is always better to be safe than sorry! That's why if you're smart, you'll click here for a list of ways to virus-proof your computer. Stay safe out there everybody!

Based on your likes!

4k notes

🌲 discogirl99 Follow

Anyone else just randomly crave connective tissue sometimes

🧁 sparkle-glitter-sideblog

no actually i think that might just be a you thing

#also i heard screaming on the other line when i called you earlier there better not be a mess when i get home #beloved demon brother tag

2 notes

👑 sameeya

Okay guys I might be crazy but what if the Shadow King was actually telling the truth when he said Princess Samia's brother is still alive??? Like, if you think about it, there's a tonnnn of foreshadowing in Crown of Ghosts and the author tweeted that there was gonna be a surprise twist in the new book sooo 👀👀

#i've connected the dots -- YOU DIDN'T CONNECT SHIT -- i've connected them #wanderlust trilogy #mira ramachandran #crown of ghosts #scepter of vanquished souls #princess samia #samia of cleves #shadow king #ahmed of cleves #bookblr

25 notes

🪨 professionalnatural-deactivated30141227

Reminder that you are beautiful exactly as you are and there are thousands who would sell their souls to imitate what you do naturally <3

👠 mizarsfrillypetticoat Follow

I actually really needed this today 💗

🦇 plsbytemevladdyzaddy Follow

Yo quit reblogging this op is a blatant human supremacist

🪨 professionalnatural-deactivated30141227

And? No one cares lmao

⚠️ alv Follow

Enjoy deactivation. Lmao.

🪓 wenda-was-a-lesbian-confirmed Follow

🕵🏻‍♂️ alcor-in-the-tardis Follow

#I sent screenshots of that one centaur post to her boss too #give you two guesses what species his wife is (tags by @alv)

Holy shit. Am I actually rooting for the alcor virus rn?

🍄 warioxreader Follow

maybe the real virus was the friends we made along the way <3

⚠️ alv Follow

No, the real virus is me. Don't take credit for my accomplishments.

🐲 retiredbus Follow

Heritage post

62k notes

🐔 old-friends-senior-griffin-sanctuary Follow

I just want to get dicked down again =/

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

READ 70 PAGES OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK WITH WHICH I HAVE HOMOEROTIC TENSION AS WE KNOW

WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE HOMOEROTIC RIVALRY BETWEEN ME AND MY COPY OF THE GOOD OMENS BOOK. WE KNOW. IT STARES AT ME, I STARE BACK, IT DARES ME TO READ IT AND FALL IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY MORE, I REFUSE. WE PUT THE UST IN LUST ETC.

BUT TODAY/YESTERDAY (RIP SLEEP SCHEDULE) SINCE I WASNT ON TUMBLR, I READ TILL PAGE 70 OF THE BOOK (TILL THE PART CALLED WEDNESDAY) AND GOD FUCKING DAMN. I READ IT LISTENING TO AN AZIRAPHALE BOOKSHOP AMBIENCE AND WITH CHOPIN PLAYING AND CANDLES LIT. ANYWAY. THINGS THAT HAVE STUCK OUT TO ME:

Crowley. Just everything about Crowley. God I love him. I fucking love him. This is why I avoid reading the book. I'm such a slut for Crowley. It's manageable on the show when I know it's an actor. But WORDS CROWLEY? WORDS CROWLEY IS REAL. I AM SO IN LOVE.

Aziraphale has perfectly manicured hands. I'm pretty sure this has been mentioned three times in the first 70 pages. Three times at minimum. I forget how twink he is in the show (idk how) but man the book does NOT let you forget and I love that.

Crowley absent-mindedly sank a duck. Aziraphale called him my dear (fanfic authors everywhere: write that down write that motherfucking shit down it's better than porn). Crowley un-sunk the duck. The duck was cross.

CROWLEY DID I MENTIONED CROWLEY OH MY BABY FANCIED THE JAMES BOND DECALS HE WANTED TO LISTEN TO VIVALDI COZ THEY WERE SO STRESSED AFTER RECEIVING THE ANTICHRIST THEY LOVE GOLDEN GIRLS (I LOOKED IT UP AND OH CROWLEY) THEY DRANK FOR A WEEK AFTER SEEING THE SPANISH INQUISITION THEY OMG.

THE DRUNK SCENE. I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THE DOLPHINS CONVERSATION. OMG THESE TWO FUCKING FOOLS I ADORE THEM.

Crowley IN THAT SCENE AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT SCENE HOLY SHIT. CROWLEY JUST LISTING OFF ALL THE THINGS SHE KNOWS AZIRAPHALE LOVES.

AND OMG. The CONVOLUTED FUCKING METAPHOR CROWLEY COMES UP WITH INVOLVING A LITTLE BIRD FLYING TO THE ENDS OF THE UNIVERSE AND PECKING A MOUNTAIN AND COMING BACK AND DOING IT ON LOOP. FOR WHAT? JUST TO SAY THAT WHEN THE MOUNTAIN WAS GONE, HEAVEN WOULD STILL BE PLAYING THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

As usual just like me Crowley shot himself in the foot with that metaphor. Because AZIRAPHALE, THE LEGEND, STARTS SAYING THE BIRD MUST BE IMMORTAL FOR THAT, AND THEN SAYS NO ACTUALLY THE BIRD IS BEING CARRIED IN A SPACESHIP AND THE DESCENDANTS EMERGE FROM THE SPACESHIP and poor crowley is saying SO THE BIRD REACHES THE MOUNTAIN and azi excitedly says IN THE SPACESHIP and AAAAAAAAA-

Anyway right yes sorry what were we doing oh right the book.

Anathema is so adorable as a kid what a little brat holy shit I love her. I want to see all her homework written in Middle English. I want to know which teacher finally summoned the balls to correct it.

NEWT MON CHERI HE'S SO EXCITED ABOUT ONLY DESTROYING THE HOUSE'S POWER CIRCUIT WITH HIS EXPERIMENT. Because apparently last time he fucking caused a power outage in the whole block. Or county. We stan an optimist (no one talk to me about Crowley being an optimist I will go feral and rip your larynx out).

THE THIRD BABY DID NOT WIN PRIZES FOR TROPICAL FISH. THIS IS LIKE THE ENDING OF VILETTE WHEN CHARLOTTE BRONTE GOT GUILTTRIPPED BY HER DAD INTO WRITING IT AS AN OPEN ENDING BUT WE ALL KNOW IT'S A TRAGEDY FUCK ME.

CROWLEY THE PRAY THAT HE DOESN'T IT SOUNDS SO SUAVE IN THE SHOW BUT IN THE BOOK IT LITERALLY SAYS "AND FLEES". THE CHAOTIC ANXIOUS MOTHERFUCKER MAKES A RUN FOR IT.

AZIRAPHALE FUCKING GLOWERING AT CUSTOMERS AND SCARING THEM AWAY USING EVERY MEANS SHORT OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IM DEAD THAT LITTLE BASTARD PEAK CROSS INTROVERT ELDRITCH MONSTER ENERGY.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR ADAM TO ENTER (WELL AS A NOT BABY) AHAH.

I HOPE WARLOCK IS OKAY.

CROWLEY BEING DESCRIBED AS A YOUNG MAN DOES THINGS TO ME. AS DO THE DARK HAIR AND GOOD CHEEKBONES. DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT DOING WEIRD THINGS WITH HIS TONGUE. I AM A SLUT FOR HER. IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS I REMEMBER WHY IM GREYACE AND NOT ENTIRELY ASEXUAL. IT'S CROWLEY.

I LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKES LIKE I DON'T EVEN GET SOME BUT THE DRY TONE IS HILARIOUS. LIKE HOW BOTH WARLOCK'S HEAVENLY AND HELLISH TUTORS READ FROM THE BOOK OF REVELATION. AND THE CUTTING COMMENTARY LIKE HOW THE DOWLINGS' SECRET AGENTS WERE TRAINED TO REACT TO WOMEN IN LONG ROBES. OR THE POLITICAL COMEDY WITH ALL THE CULTURAL ATTACHES AT ST JAMES. IT MAKES ME AMUSED EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO CONTEXT. I WISH I UNDERSTOOD THEM MORE.

SORRY WHY AM I YELLING ABOUT THIS BEFORE 6 IN THE MORNING FUCK I FORGOT MY SLEEP MEDS NO WONDER IM STILL AWAKE AND HYPER ALSO CROWLEY ALSO AZI ALSO ADAM I HOPE MY LITTLE PLANTS MAKE IT.

WHEN IM DONE READING THE BOOK I WANNA REREAD IT OUT LOUD TO MY THREE LITTLE PLANTS TO MAKE THEM GROW HAPPY AND KNOW WHOM THEY WERE NAMED AFTER.

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Hello, can I please request Gretchen getting into a fight with Yn her girlfriend. Yn is the more dom but this time Gretchen isn’t letting her slide so yn does her best to get her to forgive her

Let Me Spoil You, Baby

|| Gretchen Wieners x fem!reader

|| Warnings: Gretchen and reader fight, light swearing, Gretchen breaks up with reader, bit of Gretchen comparing herself to Regina

i don't think im missing any other warnings but lmk

|| Summary: reader hasn't been giving Gretchen much attention, Gretchen gets upset when she sees reader talking with another girl. She doesn't let it slide. Reader does her best to make it up to Gretchen.

Requests open!

Start: May 27th

Finished: May 27th

Tag list: @yungpoetfics

~~~

You've been ignoring Gretchen for the last two weeks- or at least... that's what Gretchen's mind told her. She'd send texts, but you would always take forever to respond. And sure you had lots of after school activities. You were on the Basketball team, Soccer team and you had math tutoring sessions since you were pretty much failing. But you always made time for your friends. Gretchen couldn't help wondering why she didn't get that same care. She was your girlfriend, shouldn't she be first priority?

Gretchen had been heading to her locker, getting what she needed for French which started in about eight minutes. She glanced to the side when she noticed you at your own locker, leaned up against it on your side laughing and smiling with some other girl. Gretchen thought maybe she recognized her as the Basketball Captain.

That was her finale straw. Why were you with some random girl when you could've been having that conversation with her?

She forced the tears down that threatened to spill and marched right up to you," Seriously, y/N?!"

You were startled by Gretchen's sudden appearance and turned to look at your girlfriend, only just now realizing how long it's been since you'd actually seen her.

"Gretchen.." You started, she shushed you.

"No, no! I'm not letting you 'Gretchen' me. I'm tired of being your last priority, I should be your first priority, Y/N! First!" Damn it, she was really trying not to cry but she could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks as she looked up at you. She didn't want to do this, but she didn't want a Jason repeat. She deserved better." We're done!"

With that, she stormed off. You stood there in silence, your heart breaking at the sight of her tears. You had to fix this somehow. You knew it was your fault, you really didn't make a whole lot of time for Gretchen but that didn't mean you didn't care about her. You loved her. Now you just had to actually prove that.

You guys had had fights in the past, of course you did. Every couple does. It's just Gretchen usually forgave you or you'd forgive her. This one was different, Gretchen wasn't putting up with your shit.

Thinking over what to do next, you decided to skip the rest of the day. Fuck whatever punishment your parents gave you for it, you'd deal with it. You probably deserved it anyway after what you did to Gretchen.

You were going to make up for it.

You had to.

Heading to your car, you thought out a plan. You texted everyone you had scheduled things with next week and cancelled all of them. Tutoring, soccer, basketball, parties, hangouts with friends. All of it. You cleared your whole week, making promises you would make it up to them another time. If you fixed things with Gretchen, you'd spend your whole week with her and then some.

Now for phase two. You drove around for a bit, heading to various stores. First a flower shop to pick up Gretchen's favourite, then to a candy store to get Gretchen an unreasonably expensive box of chocolates and finally you hit up a electronics store and bought Gretchen a nice pair of pink headphones; having remembered she broke hers a couple weeks ago.

All that was left was phase three. Getting ahold of Gretchen. You hoped she hadn't blocked your number yet as you texted her.

You; hey... can I come over tonight? I want to make it up to you. I'd apologize now, but apologies are always better in person

Send.

Your breath hitched as you sat in the front seat of your car, everything you had gotten sitting in the passenger seat next to you. Your thumb drummed along the steering wheel, Gretchen would be in class right now. The class you had skipped. Maybe she wouldn't respond.

Gretchen; . . .

You held your breath as you saw the three dots appear after what felt like the longest three minutes of your life. They disappeared for a moment and your heart sank, but then they reappeared followed by Gretchen's text.

Gretchen; fine.

You sighed with relief, it wasn't a no but you could tell just by the way she was texting that she was upset with you still.

You; thank you

You waited until school was over then headed over to Gretchen's, holding the two boxed items and flowers in your hands as you walked up to her front door. You hesitated, then knocked.

A few moments pass before Gretchen opened the door. God, the outfit she was wearing made your heart stop. It was a little revealing, you tried your hardest not to stare down. Her goal with the outfit was to make you realize what you'd been missing out on and it was definitely working.

Gretchen's eyes went to the stuff in your hands and she almost melted at the gesture, especially when she saw the headphones. It showed you did listen to her... occasionally, at least. But she put on a facade, playing hard to get. You deserved it after all.

"Really? This is your best apology?" Regina must've told her to say that, it sounded like something the blonde would say and it made your heart sting.

"I know it's probably a little cheesy, but I really am sorry, Gretchen. And this is only the first part of my apology." You told her, which caught her attention. She looked at you in confusion so you continued," I cleared my entire week for you. We can hang out every day. No sports, math, parties... unless you want to go to one, I'm free for you. We'll do whatever you like and I promise I'll do better at making time for you."

She studied you, you could tell she was still trying to act tough but her expression softened and she stepped aside.

"Come in," She told you, your shoulders relaxed and you walked in Taking your shoes off and setting them to the side.

Gretchen took the things from your hands and made a vague gesture with the headphone box," Thanks. I really didn't want to spend money on new ones, I wish I was rich like Regina.." She mumbled the last bit, but you caught it and frowned. Gretchen always compared herself to Regina, you just never realized how much until now. You hated that.

You cupped her cheeks with your hands, making her look at you." You aren't Regina. That's okay. As for the money.. let me spoil you, baby." You winked playfully and she blushed.

You weren't overly rich, but you had a good amount of money saved up from when you were working before you started all your sports. So you could definitely spoil her a little.

You could feel her relax as she nodded, this would be a long day of making it up to her but you were okay with that.

You would do whatever it took.

[minhosimthings]

Skz when you reveal to them that you used to be a stripper/pole dancer

Synopsis: Just some headcanons about boyfriend Skz. Reader is female

Warnings: Smut, fluff, suggestive. Seungmin's is comfort. Im sorry Changbin and Innie's are so short!

A/N: guys I'm telling you writing this was therapy. Im gonna try to do more headcanons because I like writing these a but more than I like writing actual fics! Anyway please enjoy this! And feel free to give feedback!

Bang Christopher Chan

He'd be ok with it. Like so chill. But I have a tingling that he'd remember it sometimes, and ask you about it, whenever he needs to release his frustration.

The front door slammed roughly against its edges, as your boyfriend Chan, walked in throwing his bag to the floor roughly. His gaze avoided yours, as he slumped down on your red couch and held his head in his hands, rubbing his temples slowly. It was definitely one of those days, when every melody in Chan's insomniac mind, seemed like boring mathematical figures instead of pretty flowing colours on a water filled palette. "Rough day baby?" You asked him, silently putting his dinner down on the table. He sighed quietly and started eating his dinner. Oh that's how he wanted to play is it? The silent treatment. Not wanting to unload his emotions on you because he felt guilty later on. You knew enough about this habit of his to know exactly what to do when exactly what to do. You smiled sweetly at him and disappeared into your shared bedroom.

Oh fuck did he mess up? Chan's thoughts were spinning through his head like an electron. Shit he should have talked to you. Chan got up and put his plate in the sink and grabbed two cupcakes from the fridge, which you both had made the day before (correction: felix made them you guys decorated them). "Babygirl? Where are you?" Chan got into the dark void which was your bedroom. Searching for the lights, Chan switched on the red party light you had in the bedroom. "Hey Channie." Chan's jaw dropped to the ground. There you were, wearing your old stripper uniform, Red devil horns and all, looking like the most expensive thing in the room. If Chan was an angel, he would definitely fall from heaven, just to be with your devilish form. "Baby, w-whats this?" Chan came forward as you grabbed his collar and shoved him into the bed. "Shh baby. Just enjoy it." You whispered in his ear, as you started your old dancing routine, while Chan watched on, silently asking the universe, why it hadn't shown you to him earlier.

Lee Minho

Dude. He'd be so fucking ecstatic that it's kinda scary. As a dancer himself, he would like the idea of having a partner who can dance as well as him (and maybe even better.) He would inculcate your steps in some of his dances and sometimes both of you would silently fuck in the studio.

"Jagiya I don't know what to add here." Minho was nudging your shoulder, while both of you stood in his personal dance room. The guys had left you all alone, since he had been stuck there since the morning, trying to figure out a choreo to the new slut anthem that 3Racha had made for DanceRacha (yes I am still not over taste). While Felix and Hyunjin had tried to help, they knew that the only person who could get Minho out of this dancer's block was you. You watched Minho's dance over and over again, trying to think of something good to add to it. "Min, how about you take a break baby? You're really tired and we all know your PaboRacha brain can't work on just water and orange juice. How about you eat some of the pudding I brought?" Minho looked at you with a pout, as you looked at him sternly. The pout wasn't going to work when you wanted your boyfriend to feel better and he didn't want to feel better. "Jagiya-" Minho began to whine as he wrapped his arms around your waist, trapping you in what was the best prison in the world. "How about we dance together for a bit hmm? Just a little duet?" "If I do this, will you eat and rest?" Minho was quick to nod his head, as you sighed and took off your jacket to reveal the lacy black bra you had on underneath. "I was going to surprise you with this when we get home. But since you wanted to dance, let's dance baby." Minho's entire world stopped. That was the bra he had gifted you, when you first told him you used to work in a gentlemen's club as a dancer. The slow, sensual music started as Minho slowly touched your waist and both of you moved your hips in syncronicity, the cotton of his shirt grinding against the lace of your bra. One step forward, then another to the side and then one lowering down to Minho's legs as he looked on, mesmerised. "God you're so fucking hot kitten. You never let any of them touch you at the club right?" You let out a hum in response to Minho's question as you noticed the bulge in his black trousers, which you began to unzip. "Good" he growled in your ear, as he nibbled it with his bunny teeth, "they shouldn't touch what's mine."

Seo Changbin

Oh my god, he would immediately question you about it so much. Like baby would be so curious about it. He'd buy you so much shit at Victoria's Secret or something, that you'd question why you ever told him about your old job.

"Baby baby that one!" Yet again, your boyfriend Changbin had rushed towards a shelf, while you stood in the huge (and expensive) Victoria's Secret store. Changbin had taken you here immediately after you told him you used to be a stripper and showed him your old costume. "Baby will this fit you?" He held up a lacy blue bodysuit, entwined with fake jewels. "Binnie, baby this is expensive." You looked at the price tag nervously. Changbin rolled his eyes and called the store worker. He handed her a card from his wallet, while saying "Whatever we buy goes on the black card." Rolling your eyes, you went over to the swimsuits, hoping to see something that you can surprise your boyfriend with.

Hwang Hyunjin

Two words. His muse.

"Jinnie how much longer?" You whined as you shifted a bit on the wooden stool, while Hyunjin sat in front of you, blue stained paintbrush in hand, star shaped eyes focused on the canvas in front of him. "Just a minute more, my muse. And could you move your hand to the left please?" He had been begging for you to let him paint you ever since he found your lingerie and you had to tell him about what you used to do before you became an architect. Of course you had said yes to him, after a week of begging and him trying to bribe you with food (spoiler alert: it worked). You donned your most favourite costume, a baby pink one, which was fluffy and had detachable angel wings. Perfect for Hyunjin. Perfect for the artist who used soft colours to paint those who he loved. "Hwang Hyunjin if you're not done in five minutes, the blood flow to my hand is going to stop and I'm going to die." Hyunjin looked at you, amusement all over his perfectly carved face. "Using the government name are we my muse? And I'm done already I was just looking at those nice little tits bouncing around in that costume." A smirk spread on his face, as you raised an eyebrow and carefully got down from the stool, walking towards his canvas. God he had painted you so pretty, with blues and pinks outlining your figure, a green cutting in for shade and flowers adorning your body. "You know my muse, I am an ambassador for Versace. I can't wait to get you the most prettiest scarves, which you can wear and fuck yourself. Maybe I can join you afterwards after I'm finished with my painting of this amazing fucking body." You smirked at him, taking the paintbrush away from his hand, slowly sliding into his lap and kissing him full on the mouth. Oh there was about be a lot more than just paint in that studio tonight.

Han Jisung

Congratulations you have officially broken him. I mean he will be really shocked In the beginning and basically be like Changbin, asking questions and all, but then later on both of you basically forget about it, until it comes to help in his studio.

Ten am. That was the time Chan had called you and told you about the current condition of your boyfriend Han Jisung, the condition being overworking again. This was the fifth time this month that Chan had to call you to take your boyfriend home from writing tens of thousands of beautiful lyrics on paper and experimenting with the sounds on Chan's laptop. Sighing to yourself, you got up grabbed your keys and helmet, and zoomed off to the JYP building on your Harley.

"Jisungie baby?" You called out his name, slowly entering the studio, to see a messy haired boy, dressed in a black hoodie, head in his hands, headphones lying abandoned at the side. He turned slowly in his chair to face you, and your heart dropped when you saw the dark circles under his eyes. "I can't do this anymore Y/N. I feel like all the lyrics make no sense and- and I feel so fucking stupid." Being quick to cup his face in your hands, you softly wiped away the solitary tear on his face. "Baby Hey look at me look at me now please." Round quokka eyes looked at you as you slowly unzipped your leather jacket. "How about I give you a bit of inspiration hm? Will you come home then?" Jisung's brain had stopped working. There you were, all dolled up in a green suit with the sluttiest bra in this world, all for him. Slowly snaking an arm around your waist, and leaving wet kisses around your exposed collarbone, Jisung took you to the recording area, ready to record your moans, just for some inspiration.

Lee Felix Yongbok

Oh my god he would be so FLUSTERED. Like he'd have to hide in the bathroom in order to hide his burning face.

"Lixie you good in there?" Your boyfriend Felix was currently hiding in the kitchen of your apartment. You had finally told him about your old job when you were playing truth or dare (although mostly it was truth or truth) and his reaction was....adorable. His entire face had turned red as he stuttered and quickly went out of the room to the kitchen where you knew he was stress baking or more like shock baking. "Yeah! Im totally fine!" Yep he was baking, face still red, apron worn upside down, and icing on his nose and talking with an unusually high pitch. You walked up to and wiped the icing off of his nose. "Baby I can clearly notice the bulge in your pants you know that right?" You asked him to which he responded with a low mumble if the word 'sorry'. "It's alright baby. By the way, what do you think I show you my old gear?" Never before had you seen your boyfriend have this much fear and excitement filling his eyes. "Really?" You nodded to his question as he got out a tray of brownies from the oven and put them on the table, covering them with a cloth. You reached out for one but he slapped your hand. "The brownies can wait sunshine." His voice was sultry and low again as he wrapped his arms around your neck. "I wanna see that nice costume of yours."

Kim Seungmin

Bruh he would be so chill. Like zero reaction. Literally.

"Pup I- I need to tell you something and I want your full attention." You had finally gathered the courage to tell your boyfriend Seungmin about your old job at the gentlemen's club when you were in college. He would eventually find the devil tails and high red heels which had the words 'for the eyes only' on them. Kim Seungmin was a Rubik's cube. You couldn't ever predict what he was going to do or what he was going to feel. So naturally your ass was a nervous Trainwreck when you decided to finally tell him. "What is it bub? Is it about the burnt toast I left on the terrace? Cause I told you the crows just like the toast extra crisp." Seungmin told you, putting down his book and adjusting his sage sweater, and allowing his arms to wrap around your body, which was currently draped in his hoodie. "No sweetie it's not that. It's something more serious and- and if you don't like what I'm about to say, it's ok if you break up with me." Seungmin frowned a bit and nudged his head in your neck, making you smile. "I- I used to be a stripper at the local gentlemen's club when I was eighteen to pay my bills. I don't do it anymore but I thought you should know since my old gear is still lying around somewhere in this mess of an apartment. And- and maybe if you found it one day, I thought maybe you- you'll leave me or- or You don't know what caused tears to come out of your eyes but they did and they weren't stopping. "Bubba shh. Hey look at me. Look at me it's alright." Seungmin shushed you as he put your head on his chest, stroking your hair as you calmed down, hearing his heartbeat. "Bub I really wouldn't care if you were a goddamn homeless person before. You're successful now aren't you? And all those things you did to reach here? Im proud of those bub. So please don't cry. It's breaking my heart." You sniffled a bit and looked up at your caramel haired boyfriend to give him a kiss, and wrap yourself more tightly in his arms, feeling safe and content. "So can I see that gear maybe?" "Kim Seungmin!"

Yang Jeongin

Dude I really don't know. This man would be a combination of all the members. You tell him about this and he'll go through every human emotion to ever exist.

"Innie? Innie." Jeongin just sat there frozen on the couch, not chewing the chips which were trapped in his mouth. "Oh my god Jeongin! Yah!" You snapped your fingers in front of him. "Wh-What yeah I'm here. Im Jeongin yes and you're y/n, my girlfriend whom I love, and also who I want to see in her costume right now." His confused face turned into a smirk, as he stopped with his rambling. "I'll show you soon baby. Do you wanna, uh, swallow the chips in your mouth now." You asked him as he quickly swallowed the chips and contorted his face into a pout. "I wanna see it now!" He whined. You sighed and got up to get, your boyfriend tailing you like a lost puppy. Yep. Definetly the maknae on top.

[mara-xx217]

Good morning/afternoon/night! My internet is really bad at the moment so im not sure when this ask is gonna get through lol :,)

If I remember it correctly, your asks are open! So I decided to try my luck on sending one! (I've only downloaded Tumblr recently so im sorry if this goes badly :,) )

May I ask for a scenario or something like that with Pocketcat obsessing over a poor and desperate soul(aka reader lol) who is just trying to make their way through the Fear and Hunger dungeons/The festival of Termina (It's probably better if you choose lol)? Reader is just trying to go through another day without being attacked in their sleep and maybe smoking some Opium while that goddamn cat is just starting from a corner.

((Im not sure how asks work! Sorry if I made a mistake!!))

Omg yes this is perfectly fine! Everybody loves Pocketcat (me included) so I'm more than happy to answer this lol. Let's set this during the Festival, shall we? :)

You're doing great!

Warnings: Stalking, General Creep Behavior, Pocketcat Deserves His Own Warning, Drug Use

The atmosphere of Prehevil was a buzz with an invisible, cold heat. Your skin had started to tingle the moment you woke up from that terrible dream you had on the train and a throbbing headache that started as a minor annoyance has now turned into a full blown migraine that has you feeling like you've been brained by a lead pipe, a very real possibility given all the pissed off locals that have been attacking you unprompted and out of the blue as you've wandered the mostly deserted streets.

The last few blocks, you've begun to feel as though you were being watched... Every other step you take, you swear that you hear the echo of a footfall that is just barely out of sync of your own. You pause mid step and listen carefully.

...click...

Shit. You don't look over your shoulder, fearing what you might find following you. You shove your hands in your jacket pockets and suddenly pick up your pace, not quite running but not walking casually either. Your fucking head is killing you... You wanted nothing more than to take a hit from your pipe... but you needed to find somewhere relatively safe first. Continuing on, you round several more street corners. You don't stop until you no longer hear any footsteps mirroring your own. Slowing down, you strain your ears once again.

....

Silence. You shuffle to a stop. Your headache is nearly blinding and you sit on a pair of steps that lead into one of the many buildings in Prehevil. Fumbling with your bag, you fish out your smoking pipe, your eyes closed as they were throbbing and painfully dry. You crack an eye open and find a nearly empty matchbook, striking it alight and lighting the pipe that was still partially filled with opium. Extreme, but its all you have.

And your head-

It was sweet relief. The opium was strong and fast acting. Your headache numbed, as did your paranoia. Your heartbeat slowed and you felt yourself fall at ease. You kept your eyes closed, enjoying the brief moment of quiet. Has it been only a few hours of this? It almost felt like a lifetime... Your eyes open, blinking as they readjust to the light. And you find yourself startled as there was someone standing down the street opposite of where you sat.

The colour purple was a strange sight in this blood-soaked town... Not a drop of gore was on him, yet the bag at his feet was blood-smeared and breathing, you could tell even from where you sat. He was tall and well-dressed, strange all around and strangely making a point to avoid eye-contact with you. As you stared at him, suddenly sobering from the opium, he twitched his head and glanced in your direction. What the hell was he wearing...?

"Ah-! Oh, dear me! I didn't see you there at all!" His accent was strange and he seemed exasperated. Though he was wearing a mask, something that appeared to be cumbersome and inflexible, it had a lot of character and seemed to reflect it well through his eyes.

"My, my, how rude of me! I do apologize, this Festival has us all running about like mad, does it not?" You uneasily looked side to side.

Was... he talking to you?

"What... 'Festival'...?" He continued on.

"Say... perhaps I am mistaken but... do I know you? Maybe you get that a lot, you do have one of those faces, but I swear that you look..." The masked man turned to face you. He had one hand in his pocket, something that make you gravely nervous.

"...familiar?" You don't know why you answered him. Perhaps it was the awkwardness of this situation getting to you.

"Yes! Familiar. I feel as though I have met you once before, in lands and times different though under such similar circumstances..." He grew wistful, seeming to reflect on an old and touching memory. You frowned. There was something nagging at the back of your head....

"Pray tell, how has this Festival been treating you? Worse for wear? Perhaps you have had your fill and wish to turn in for the day?" You narrowed your eyes.

"I... What?" He continued.

"No matter, there is time left for you, though not much at all, I'm afraid. There is never enough time, is there? Or it certainly doesn't feel that way... Especially where the ones we love are concerned..." He turned his head so you couldn't see his masked face. The man brought his hand to his mouth and seemed to suddenly grow sheepish. The hand in his pocket began to twitch and you felt your stomach roll in apprehension.

"Do you have that special someone in your life? I did... once upon a time... Though it has been so many ages since I last saw them..." He turned to face you and he seemed larger and closer than he truly was. The masked man grew in height and seemed to lean in close to you, until you had your back flat against the stairs and you were cowering before him from across the street.

"Though... looking upon you has brought a wave of nostalgia over me! Truly, I must thank you for this, for I had missed them terribly..." There was a genuineness to his voice that was almost moving... for a split second, you felt your guard lower.

"I see..." Your shoulders dropped a little. A wave of emotion washed over you.

Relief

Gratitude

But in the warmness there was also,

Anticipation

Fear

Hatred

Deja vu seized your heart and froze you in place. Your temples began to throb as the colour drained from your face. The stranger had become familiar and known to you, though you didn't understand how or why. He seemed pleased with the shift in your demeanor.

"That's quite enough I think..." You furrowed your brows, confused.

"What-?"

"Yes, quite so!" You can tell that he was smiling under the mask.

"I don't understand-" He nodded to himself.

"That's quite alright, old sport! Give it some time, I think it will all become apparent, sooner than later." The man straightened up and you no longer felt crowded.

"W-What will? What- Who even are you-?!" Your question was waved off.

"Enough questions! Don't you think it's about time now?" Anxiety pulsed under your skin.

"Time? Time f-for what?"

"Time to wake up, of course! You've nearly overslept!" You're stunned. Confused and a little annoyed, you open your mouth to rebuke him, but he's suddenly in front of you and has a gloved hand clamped around your mouth. You can't move, you can't blink, you can't even scream in terror as a wave of nostalgia crashes over you.

"Hush, now... I've stolen you away from my Master for long enough... It's time for us to part ways for now, but we will meet again. It will be just like the good old days, just you wait!" You didn't know who this fucking freak was and you didn't care. You just wanted him to get the hell away from you already!

"Go on, then! Away with you!" His tone was cheery but he picked you off the stone stairs with his one hand with ease, until your legs were dangling limply in the air.

You were thrown down but instead of busting your head on the edge of sharp stairs you startled in a seated position. You hit your elbow against the cool train window and your head bounced off of it as you struggled to regain your senses.

It was... what?

It wasn't real... It was all just one big, terrible dream... You sighed in relief. In the moments that it took your heart to slow, you realized something.

The train wasn't moving and it was devoid of all passengers.

@prettycutebunny, @infinitewhore, @kennbb, @slutwithadegree, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow, @sinlessdesire, @hoemine, @memoryofheather

[venerawrites]

hey welcome back! I wondered if you wrote for the Orochimaru trio? they're so criminally underrated

If yes, could I get relationship headcanons for Jugo or Suigetsu with a female reader? SFW and NSFW please! I'm not sure which one you'd rather do since you never wrote for them so im leaving it up to you! I hope that's not considered vague. Thank you!

author's note: to be honest I need to rewatch the series, because your request did make me do all that character research again lol. I didn't remember almost anything about the Orochimaru trio (other than the fact I loved Suigetsu's design), but I really hope I did your request justice! x I decided to do only Suigetsu for now, because I felt mor comfortable doing the hedcanons for him. Hope you like it! <3

warning: 18+ content, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! (I can and I WILL block you <3)

➤ SFW

Suigetsu can be either your ride or die, or your worst boyfriend ever that you wish you never met in the first place.

Your relationship is either 100% or -100%. No in between.

I think his ideal partner is pretty much a female version of himself - someone with a sharp wit and tongue, who is not afraid to call him out or match his sarcasm.

With that being said, a relationship with him is full of playful bickering and banter. You better not be too sensitive, because he can and WILL make fun of your quirks.

(Loves it if you fire back with some sassy comments of your own. Everyone around you - not so much. I imagine if you are part of Team Taka or in general there are people around both of you, at some point they will be tired of listening to all these flirty insults going back and forth.)

VERY overprotective. He can make fun of you and joke around but if he hears anyone threatens or disrespect you, he gets into protective mode straight away.

Can be romantic when he wants to. Most of the time he says stupid stuff like "your eyes are as beautiful as this tree bark" or "your hand seems heavy, let me hold it for you", but occasionally he will make some really nice gestures (like taking you out for a picnic under the moonlight and get you a gift that you have been wanting for a while).

LOVES to show off in front of you!

I feel like it doesn't matter for how long you've been together, he is always secretly insecure that one day you may wake up and find someone better than him. So while he won't ask it directly, he would sometimes whine and nag you till you comfort him and promise him he is the only one for you!

I don't think he is one for PDA, but he likes to have his hand on you - holding your shoulder or hand, poking you, tickling you, ANYTHING as long as he has that physical touch.

I feel like fights are going to be quite a frequent occurrence in your relationship. You both are strong characters who like to stand up for yourselves, so clashes are inevitable.

I think Suigetsu may not be really that supportive of a boyfriend when it comes to life goals or dreams, but he would expect you to be supportive of his all the time. I mean, is there more meaningful ambition than the one to collect all legendary swords? Probably. But he doesn't really care about it, neither he is interested to learn about it.

Sometimes during fights he can be real nuisance - he likes to push boundaries and he can be quite a good at gaslighting. However, if he realises he took it too far, he will always come and apologize first.

➤ NSFW

WATER SEX.

Like literally 95% of the times you have sex is in the water - in the shower, in the hot spring, in a lake, in a pool, sometimes even in the open while it is raining/storming.

Had 0 experience when he first met you, but he is such a fast learner that it took him two to three times to completely learn your body and what you like.

More of 'let's fuck' type rather than 'let's make love' type. I think that even if you ask him to take it slow for a night, he gets so easily excited and eager to be inside of you, that he can't control himself and he starts pounding into you at his usual fast pace.

Pretty rough sex partner!

I don't think he is into hardcore BDSM or anything like that, but he is definitely into chocking and biting. He likes to mark your skin, especially in places where everyone would be able to see the hickeys/bite marks.

HE LIVES FOR ORAL!

Loves receiving way more than giving - he just can't get enough of the sight of your sniffling and chocking around his cock. He also love face fucking and would usually let you control the pace only for a few minutes before he grabs your jaw and start thrusting in and out.

He is pretty good at giving head too - I see him as the messy/slurpy type of pussy eater. He likes having your juices all over his bed AND face. ;)

Loves quickies and is not afraid to try and get you to do it when you are in public or when you literally have less than 5 minutes before you have to leave.

Doesn't shut up during sex, it can actually be SO ANNOYING...

He is into dirty talking and a lot of it, which is fine most of the time. But I also see him as the type to try and crack jokes to which you just roll your eyes like: "Are you for real right now??"

Very high sex drive AND a lot of stamina. While I don't think he is the type to do long rounds (he is too impatient for too much teasing or foreplay!), but he can go on for quite a long time.

cc artwork: Danny Lai Lai

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Hello! Firstly I wanted to say that I'm an old fan since your overwatch days and I've always admired how much depth you're giving all the characters and relationships you touch! I'm talking like, mariana trench DEPTHS. And how confident you seem about just doing the things you enjoy and exploring the themes you want? I really respect that.

I'm having a bit of an art crisis recently and I was wondering If you could offer some advice?

I'm thinking about self-indulgence in art, particularly fanart. I like to dive in deep to expand on characters, I find it as enjoyable as creating my own work. But I fear of people getting angry at me for latching onto these characters, thay they'll say the original work wasn't THAT deep, or that I'm completely wrong or cringe or whatever. And I don't care about being right or anything, I just want to have fun here and tell my little stories? :( The fear is making me keep the work to myself and I don't know what to do. Would it be better to just enjoy it on my own?

Your blog really is goals when it comes to that, so I'll respect your opinion a lot. Thank you for your time!

holy moly thank you so much for your sincerity first of all!! Second, this is making me misty eyed ngl!! I have alot to say about this so i shall put it under a read more bc im gonna ramble

If someone cares about you fixating on your fave characters, then they're usually the fucking weirdos in this situation if they dont just block you and move on. I LOVE making shit up about my faves like i have a modern au hc that kakashi and gai are ddr competition rivals and i gave yeehan 7 dogs just for funsies!! we were in the trenches in early overwatch making up our own lore bc there was none and it was so fun

I've always been like that now that i look back bc when i first started uploading my shitty ms paint fanart on deviant art in like 2006(naruto funnily enough we've come full circle) i was still drawing cringey shit /I/ wanted to see. I don't agree with almost all of it today, but i remember the fun i had while making it, and that's really the trick. Drawing what you personally want to see then people can come and go audience wise. If they like it, they like it, if they dont? oh well! There's people who still follow me from when i was 14 and i follow them even tho we're in completely different spaces now.

The fanart part i vibe with personally bc im really bad at coming up with totally original work and premises. i much prefer having pre-established rules and worlds to work with (plus the characters i love getting massacred in the writing i HAVE to save them)

Just existing online will garner you mean comments or asks, and my best advice is its not worth it to take the bait even if its absolutely absurd and wrong, i just block and go now, and im much happier :) this all being, of course, as long as what you're doing isnt harmful, bc even with good intentions, you'll mess up/blunder eventually. If the heat gets too much for you, no one will judge you for withdrawing your art from social media. thats a perfectly safe thing to do to keep it for yourself.

As an adult, shits not that serious im 28 drawing naruto fanart bc it makes me happy after a long day of work, so have fun!! art's supposed to be fun don't let the fear win i love sharing my art with strangers on the internet!! Hope this made any sense at all and I wish you the best, my friend!!! If you ever wanna dm me, feel free

[girlgenius1111]

hi yes i have finally sat down to share my thoughts (extended version) on healing. and to find it again i scrolled through quite a few things on your blog from the past few days that i had blocked out of my mind in an effort to forget they ever happened, and then after retraumatizing myself i remembered that there were multiple easier ways to find it. but here we are.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: the dichotomy between sweet, soft Ale and goofy Ale in this is just chef's kiss. i love. 10/10 no notes. i feel like a lot of people would turn a plot like this into just a bunch of angst and hurt/comfort and nothing else, but the way you incorporate Ale also being an utter dweeb to make r laugh gives it so much more depth and nuance, and also makes it so much more realistic and fun to read.

all the gifts Ale got 🥺🥺🥺 partners who notice things 🥺🥺🥺

"I decide what I need and don't need... Don't push me away because you think you are being too much" is so real. Emotionally intelligent Ale 🥺🥺🥺 I also love Ale's proud smirk whenever she successfully makes r smile or gets A Feeling out of her ahaha

in conclusion, i love this so fucking much. the way you put all of my ideas into words perfectly and honestly even better than i imagined is so so impressive. i will never ever be over how well you put such complex emotions into words and make me feel so many different things when i read one of your fics. i know this one was particularly personal and vulnerable for you, and i'm so proud of you for writing it and so grateful that you shared it with us <3 <3 <3

deeply sorry to have re-traumatized you 😞😞

i cannot overstate how much i loveeeee writing goofy ale. its so special to me and im SO happy you like it too. i just love the idea of like stern serious captain going completely soft for her girlfriend and acting like a complete idiot just to get her to smile.

emotionally intelligent ale>>> emotions arent her thing until it's her girlfriends emotions and then she is an expert.

i could not have written this without your ideas or your encouragement and i appreciate you so much for that 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[asoftgoth]

I hope these aren't intrusive to ask, but when it comes to your recent hip growth...

A. It's so cute, first of all

B. Do you believe they're growing solely because of HRT, or because of HRT plus you're specifically eating enough to continue gaining during your transition?

And when it comes to your transition in general, if you happen to plan to undergo any sort of gender confirmation surgery, have you already looked into qualifications/patient criteria? I'm not asking because I want to pry about you but because I think my egg is cracking but I'm already about the same size as you and I'm worried that if I even try transitioning, eventually I'll hit a road block at which point if I want to get any relevant surgery, they won't consider me viable unless I lose a lot of weight.

Again, I'm so sorry if this isn't stuff you're comfortable talking about, in which case please don't feel obligated to reply to this at all. I hope you're doing well!

Hey there :) First off im happy to answer pretty much any transition related questions. These are really invasive though and I appreciate you acknowledging that. For everyone that will read this, please don’t expect every trans person you speak with to be willing to open up like this. But with that said here we go:

A: Lol thank you 🥰💕

B: Its such an exciting and scary part of someone’s life when their egg is starting to crack. I remember those days well and I feel for you. But trust me, it gets so much better 💕 And about your questions, my hip growth is because of HRT mainly, and the fact that I have an overall decent diet. That’s pretty much it. And the diet aspect is important, when you transition your body is undergoing a massive transformation and it needs energy to help it along. My actual diet is for another post maybe, (it’s not anything special tho) but I’m not “actively gaining” and haven’t been since I started HRT, believe it or not! It might surprise some people but I’ve actually lost weight even though I’ve added about 3 inches to my hips since starting almost 9 months ago. Almost all of the weight I’ve lost (about 40lbs) has been from muscle loss throught my body. Plus I’ve also lost a ton of visceral fat from my waist(yay), and gained lots of subcutaneous fat in my ass and thighs (also yay). That’s not to mention my chest which is *really* growing a ton, and fast too. I’d say im really lucky with how my proportions are filling out, but it’s a long process and im extremely grateful. Transitioning definitely isn’t over night tho and as much as this sucks, it’s a genetic roll of the dice for what your proportions will look like. Transitioning takes a lot of bravery, and I don’t say that lightly.

With all that said, yes I do have some surgeries in mind that I want and plan on getting in the next few years. I don’t want bottom surgery, but if I did then my size would be an issue. There are strict BMI limitations for getting a vaginoplasty. It fucking sucks but that’s just the reality of things in 2023. Simpler surgeries like getting an orchi don’t have those requirements and that’s one thing I plan on getting fairly soon. Another one is FFS. I’ve actually talked with a few surgeons already who do FFS and some have BMI requirements and others don’t. The ones that don’t unfortunately may cost a bit more from what I’ve seen. (But they do have more experience too). For implants and things like that, I don’t know, I haven’t researched boob jobs specifically but I can’t imagine BMI would be an issue there. I know it isn’t for fat injections in your butt/hips.

One last thing too that I wanna make clear, because a lot of people might read this. You don’t have to actually take any medicine or have any procedures done to be transgender 💕 Medically transitioning is something that helps so many of us and is absolutely necessary for (I would say) most trans people, (it 100% saved my life, I wouldn’t be here without it). But not all, and it doesn’t define your transness whether or not you’ve taken ~this~ medicine or had ~that~ surgery. I was just as much a woman as I am now for the year before I started HRT when I knew I was trans. And I was just as much a girl when I was born. I’ve been a woman all my life, it just took a little while for me to figure myself out haha. Just trust your gut and make healthy decisions. I put off the whole “deliberately gaining” thing while my body is going through all this change. And I personally feel like im better off for it. However I’m working out and eating to help grow my lower half, so I guess you could say my gaining journey isn’t over, it’s just changed. But anyway, I hope this helps you and anyone who reads this, sorry it was so long lol. If you have any other questions don’t hesitate to ask, and my inbox is always open too 🖤

[cosmicanamnesis]

he tastes like chocolate pt. 7

[part 1] [part 6] [part 8] [read on ao3]

December 31st, morning

It didn’t matter when Steve fell asleep, he couldn’t sleep past six in the morning. Usually he was up by five, really, six was sleeping in according to his circadian rhythm. 

He woke up in an unfamiliar place and started to panic before his brain caught up to the rest of him. 

It wasn’t entirely unfamiliar. His phone was on the nightstand and he was wearing his own clothes, but through bleary eyes he could barely see his surroundings, not to mention he wasn’t wearing glasses. Not that he ever really wore his glasses. They looked stupid and Robin always teased him about them so he made do without them when he wasn’t at home. This practice, unfortunately, didn’t help him figure out where the hell he was. As he tried to steady his breathing, the smell of the room hit him and he remembered.

Oh.

Oh yeah.

He’d stayed the night at Eddie’s house. He slept in Eddie’s bed. He grabbed a fistful of bedsheet and brought it to his face, trying to ground himself with something. The sheets smelled like weed smoke and nicotine and someone else’s sweat and all Steve could think was that he hoped his shirt had absorbed some of it. Was that weird? It felt weird.

He rubbed his eyes and grabbed his phone, dismissing the notifications he didn’t care about, finally landing on the ones he did.

Robs

ugh remind me to never let dates stay over if im covering ur shift

how do u do this every day

its so early im fucking dying over here

wake upppppp cmon steve i know u dont sleep in

unless ;)

Hey, you dug your own grave. Lie in it. Also, good morning.

i hate u

so how did last night go ???

Fine. We didn't really do anything, just ran some errands for his uncle. And he slept on the couch, let me sleep in his bed.

what a gentleman

Right? I am in way too deep, Robs.

could be deeper

What?

;)

I’m moving back in with my parents.

nuhuh

No, you’re right. I could never.

Robin didn’t respond right away, which meant the morning rush had started, and he wouldn’t hear from her for another two or three hours. He scrolled through social media for a while, letting himself enjoy the quiet morning for as long as he could let himself relax before needing to find something to do. 

Finally he got up, changed back into his regular clothes and gathered his stuff. He made Eddie's bed out of habit more than anything and left his stuff in a pile on top of the blankets before heading to the kitchen in search of breakfast and something caffeinated.

Eddie was still asleep when Steve came into the kitchen. He could see him stretched out on the couch, one arm up over his head, one leg dangling off the side, snoring away like he'd never slept better. Weirdo. 

Quietly, Steve began rummaging around in the kitchen until he found something. He thought he'd seen it last night as they were putting groceries away, and sure as shit, there it was. A tiny countertop espresso maker, covered in dust and hidden on top of the fridge behind several bags of cereal. It didn't look like it had ever been used. He set to work wiping it down before crossing his fingers and hunting through cabinets for… Perfect. They had an unopened tin of Bustelo hiding on the top shelf of a cabinet that also had pancake mix in it, so double score.

He was startled by the door opening, cold air blowing in behind Wayne as he shrugged off his coat.

"Morning," Steve said quietly, announcing his presence. Wayne nodded at him and then looked over at Eddie on the couch, unmoving like nothing had happened.

"You know how to work that thing?" Wayne asked, pointing to the espresso machine. Steve almost laughed.

"Did Eddie not tell you what I do for a living? I work at the coffee shop down the block from his apprenticeship."

"Ah," Wayne nodded. "Won it at a work thing one time. I don't know how to set it up, and the boy doesn't drink coffee, so. Figured I'd get rid of it one day, just never got around to it."

"I'm glad you didn't. Thought I was gonna have to go bug my roommate at work to make me coffee on my way home," Steve said, breaking into the long-ignored coffee tin. He’d probably go bug Robin anyway, since he had a whole day to kill. "Here, grab a mug, I can show you how to work it."

It wasn't an especially complicated machine, nothing like they had at work, but it got the job done. Wayne followed along, seeming to mentally take notes as Steve showed him what all the parts were and how to use it, even taught him how to make hot chocolate with it for Eddie, and how to clean everything after. Somehow, through all of their talking and noise, Eddie still didn't wake up. Steve sipped his coffee, leaning against the counter as he watched Wayne bring Eddie the hot chocolate.

Wayne set the mug on the coffee table, next to the pile of Eddie's rings, and patted Eddie gently on the arm. He grumbled something Steve couldn't hear and swatted Wayne's hand away.

"Eddie, you gotta get up," Wayne said, nudging Eddie a little more forcefully. More unintelligible mumbling. Steve smiled as he watched. "You gotta take Steve home, son."

That woke Eddie up. God he hated being up early. There was barely even sunlight filtering in through the blinds, and Wayne was trying to get him up now? Eddie was prepared to fight him about it a little longer until he said the magic word - Steve - and Eddie's sleep-addled brain finally figured out what was happening. He sat up in a panic, feeling his hair hold its wild bedhead shape as he made eye contact with Steve, who was smiling at him from the kitchen. 

"Morning," he said softly. "Made you hot chocolate." He glanced at the mug on the table and Eddie followed suit, reaching over for it as Wayne sat down and turned the TV on.

"Thanks," Eddie took a sip and smiled back up at Steve. It tasted like the ones Steve made him at work, fancy and creamy and a far cry from the powdered cocoa mix he usually made do with. Steve turned to put something away in the fridge, finally giving Eddie a clear line of sight to the espresso machine on the counter. Mystery solved.

“Breakfast?” Steve said, holding up the half empty pancake mix. Eddie blinked, surprised, and set the hot chocolate back on the table.

“Steve, you don’t have to cook for me, I’m an adult,” Eddie said, slipping his rings back on. He saw Steve shrug out of the corner of his eye and start hunting around in the kitchen.

“You bought me dinner, I’ll make you breakfast. ‘S only fair.”

Eddie looked over at Wayne, who barely glanced away from the morning news. The silent conversation they had went something like,

Can you believe this guy? Making me breakfast in my own house?

You sure know how to pick ‘em.

Wayne, make him stop.

The kid made me coffee, Ed, he can do whatever the hell he wants.

You’re unbelievable.

Eddie rolled his eyes and grabbed his mug, heaving himself off of the couch while Wayne stayed put in his recliner, looking entirely too smug, the bastard. He stretched as he stood and joined Steve in the kitchen, rubbing the leftover sleep out of his eyes.

“Ehh, fuck off,” Steve said, waving a spatula in Eddie’s general direction. 

“Relax, Stevie, I’m not gonna take over,” Eddie said, leaning back against the fridge. “Just… supervising.”

“Yeah, ah huh. Sure.” Steve turned away and grabbed a pan out of the dishrack, spinning it in his hand with a flourish before setting it on the stove.

“Huh… Where’d you learn to do that?” Eddie asked, sipping his drink.

“Do what?”

“The… flippy thing,” Eddie said, which was almost even vaguer coupled with a spinny sort of hand motion.

“Oh!” Steve started laughing, and demonstrated again with the spatula before turning his attention back to the pan, swirling a glob of butter around until it melted. “Dunno. I’ve just always done it. Drives Robin nuts. Started doing it when we worked at- Y’know that summer job I was talking about? Ice cream parlor.”

“That’s still a thing? Ice cream slinger is still a job you can have?”

“Apparently. Anyway, used to do it with the ice cream scoops all the time. She hated it, thought I was gonna throw ‘em at her on accident.”

“Did you?”

“Not on accident,” Steve chuckled.

They chatted in the kitchen for a while as Steve made breakfast for the three of them. All three of them. He made coffee and pancakes for Wayne. Because of course he did. Because of course this very pretty, very funny, exceedingly kind man would teach his uncle to use the espresso machine that he hadn’t touched since he got it and then make him fucking pancakes. Eddie was pretty sure that if he didn’t lock Steve down and soon, Wayne was gonna try.

Eddie and Steve returned to the living room with breakfast and made small talk with Wayne while they ate, all very "So Steve, where are you from," and such, getting to know each other. As Steve and Wayne, who was being uncharacteristically talkative that morning, fell into a conversation about baseball that Eddie could only kind of follow, he decided to see if the Hellfire group chat had any updates for him.

Microwave: so when is everyone getting here?

Garebear: That’s kinda up to Eddie since we need the van.

Dustpan: so any time between 2 and 6:30 is what I’m hearing

JIF: Yeah pretty much

Leia: max is gonna be here at noon to help set up. erica will be here whenever she wants to be.

Dustpan: naturally

Dustpan: mike, will, any word from el?

Dustpan: wait was that her that just came in?

Dustpan: jesus yes it was, she just scared the shit out of me in the kitchen

Dustpan: never mind I guess

good god how do you all function this early

Garebear: Why the hell are you awake?

gotta run a couple errands

i have a cute boy to impress

Leia: knock em dead, tiger

anyway gare ill come drop the van off at yours once im done and ill be back for the party at… whatd we say 7 right?

Garebear: Earlier if you can be, I’d like to not have to sound check without you

JIF: Again

Garebear: Again

Garebear: Hey I was gonna say that

JIF: Sucks to suck

Eddie rolled his eyes and sighed, shoving his phone into his pocket so he wouldn’t have to watch everybody talk over each other. There was a reason he always kept his phone on silent. If he had to hear his stupid messages go off every thirty seconds, he would probably lose it. Gareth understood, but insisted that he be in the group chat anyway so he would, quote, know what was going on and not have to make Gareth be his personal messenger, Jesus Christ Eddie could you join the 21st century please.

No, no he could not.

"Alright, if you two nerds are done… bonding, or whatever," Eddie said, tapping Steve's shoulder and making a grabby hand gesture to take his empty plate. "I got shit to do, so we should probably get you home, yeah?" He collected Wayne's plate as well and headed back to the kitchen without waiting for a response. 

"Uh, alright," Steve said, brain struggling to change gears as he was jerked from his conversation. "Well, guess I'll be around," he nodded to Wayne as he stood up to follow Eddie to the bedroom so he could grab his stuff. Or, he tried to follow Eddie into the bedroom.

Eddie had caught himself, stuck still in the doorway when Steve all but ran into him, jolting him back to reality.

“Sorry, didn’t realize you stopped,” Steve laughed, sneaking in past Eddie as he stayed firmly caught on the doorframe, gaping at nothing. Steve tucked his small wad of belongings under his arm and turned back to leave the room, but Eddie still hadn’t moved.

“Hey, man, you good?” he asked, waving his free hand in front of Eddie’s face.

“Uh, yeah,” Eddie blinked hard and nodded, coming back down from… wherever he was in his head. “Sorry, I, um… sorry.”

Eddie slid past Steve into the room to pull his boots back on, sitting softly on the very edge of the bed like he was trying not to mess the blankets up, even though Steve had barely done more than shake them out to lie flat across the mattress.

Once Steve was gone and Eddie could hear him chatting with Wayne in the living room again, he took a moment to pull himself together, running his hands over the smooth bedsheets. No one else had ever made his bed for him, except for Wayne the day he had moved in. Shit, Eddie never even made his bed himself, either. But here was Steve, pretty kind funny and apparently a bit of a neat freak, and he had made Eddie’s bed.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but he couldn’t let the question linger much longer than realizing he didn’t know how he felt, because he knew if he let Steve and Wayne talk any more, he’d never get Steve out of the house. Not that it was a bad thing, just… inopportune. He had other moves to make first, and unfortunately it meant Steve had to go home. For now, at least.

He shook his head again, trying to clear his brain like an old etch-a-sketch so he could focus on the task at hand, and forced himself up. He didn’t bother tying his boots; they were on his feet and that was all he needed, so he grabbed his coat and ventured back out.

“Ready?” he asked, knocking his shoulder against Steve’s as he came up behind him.

“Yeah,” Steve smiled. “Thanks, again, for letting me stay,” he said, looking between Eddie and Wayne as Eddie started pulling him out the door. Wayne nodded to Steve before he was completely dragged outside.

"So," Steve said as he and Eddie situated themselves in the van. "I know you said no dress code, but like… What should I wear, actually?"

Eddie smiled, looking behind him as he pulled away from the trailer.

"I dunno… Do you own anything other than polo shirts?"

"Yeah! This is just what I wear to work, dude, I don't dress like this all the time." 

It was a little bit a lie. In reality, that was how he dressed more or less always, but it's not like his closet was comprised entirely of shirts that looked like his mother picked them out. 

"Hm… In that case, wear something that if you wore it to work you'd get written up. Got anything like that?"

"I'm sure I can find something." Okay, maybe his clothes did all sort of look like his mother picked them. Whatever. He'd have Robin help him. He'd have time after she got off work.

Eddie stayed in the parking lot across from Steve's apartment for a minute before moving on with his day. He pulled his phone out, ignoring the Hellfire group chat's constant stream, and texted Barb instead.

B:

he made my bed

is that a thing people do?

Make their beds?

make OTHER PEOPLES beds after they stay the night

Aww, he stayed the night?

yeah. turns out that coworker i thought he was dating? they do live together but shes gay and apparently had a hot date over

anyway back to my question

Did he sleep in your bed?

yes

…

Did *you* sleep in your bed?

no jesus b i slept on the couch what kind of man do you take me for

Well, I mean, I've never had anyone do that for me, but I guess that it's not, like, outside the realm of possibility.

he also made breakfast. for all of us.

Wayne too? That’s cute.

Sounds like he just wanted to be nice.

i think waynes more in love with him than i am

Did you tell him you know Nancy?

no uh. it never came up

You should probably tell him at some point.

i dunno. feel like that might freak him out

Yeah, maybe.

Eddie rested his forehead against the steering wheel for a moment, collecting his thoughts. It’d be fine, he told himself. Steve was being nice. He’s just a nice dude. Super nice. He definitely wouldn’t care that Eddie was friends with Nancy. Shit, they weren’t even really friends. Friendly, sure, but friends? Nah. 

Get it together, Munson. He’s just a guy.

------

i think i'm a little behind schedule so pt 8 will go up here in a couple hours and both parts will be on ao3 once i'm off work

tagging: @original-cypher @avacrebs @dangdirtydemons @rainydays35 @changenamelater @phantypurple @alienace @renaissan-vvitch @krazyperson @steddiereid @kittsu-makes-glass @i-must-potato @jaywhohasthegay @henderdads @mightbeasleep @straight4joekeery @sharingisntkaren @micheledawn1975 @thehumblefigtree @goodolefashionedloverboi @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @potentialheartofdarkness @dreammetheworld08 @steveisabicon @biatcgh @alittlegreyfish @r0binscript @estrellami-1 @shitnshit

[cowedeakamatsu]

Ahem Ahem. Welcome everyone to yet another cowede peptalk about themselves cos... lets face it i have an issue. (part final)

Now another (shorter digression) ? I have an alter ego for when im in cowede is the fucking best mood. an alter ego that ironically was inspired (and adapted to my vision) of some stuff X did. that alter ego is catichi. catichi is factually a brat, they are so adorable the universe will bend to his will and nobody could ever told him no, so pervy that he will fuck at lightspeed while making the lewdest sounds and faces ever known to man said universe while they bent. he knows it, and he LOVES it. and through him i'm loving it too. basically if i play catichi ? i'm having a total blast, buuuut i'm also probably going to stress overthinking and worry i make it a bad experience for my partner because of what X had on me. so i decide "fuck it, you know what ? this statue quo sucks, ima let out the catichi" coincidently at that time pen decided after realizing that yes, novelai cost money, thers other solution but they even require a veeeery good pc and time to learn how to do it, or have veeeery... subpar quality (or that one thing that @makoto-naegi-stud-and-friends found that i cant quite remember, i'll let you tell them you stud) so they decided to create @filthypen ! and their blog ? pretty damn great! super lewd, stll have stuff to learn but its a fun read and cool funny kinks, we also started rping and while we dont get eye to eye on writing style yet because of a core difference in our writing style, the rp is fun! + it feels like i can teach someone some stuff i learned in my relatively long career of shit smutt writing. so i decided to adopt the catichi persona with them, cos it makes me feel good. aaaand thinking that this status quo suck, i decided to also take that persona with X. trying to share positivity. result ? constant super cold response from X i try to engage in some stuff, give them stuff to say but they dont, which being in my boots is reading like "i dont care that youre having fun, stop doing that, and get back to being the one who does tremendous effort". Since they are overobssesed with cucking, probably because theyre either secretely a boy with a micro penis who needs to be validated as an alpha, or because they suck at anything socialy and wants to be glorified (which i both get and dont judge, to be clear) I decide "hey, lets do a funny thing where i act even more like a brat because catichi mode, and I say that i'm so much better (in a lewd catichi way (if u know u know)) that i'll probably make X get cucked when their thing is cucking people". and they took it bad, like emotionally bad. and at this point ? i was fucking done, I finnaly let out my frustrations in a huge message (not as huge as all those, like... 2000 characters ? around that, it all fit into 1 discord message) and i tell them i wont block them (because they already used 4 times before the "please dont leave me i have fear of abandonement" WHICH SPOILER BITCH, EVERYONE HAS) but that i'll come back when theyre an actual good person that does effort and STFU. it was followed by them writing a total of 48 messages of pure insults (some in russian) and denial that any of this was their fault because "they have dimentia" and how im a stuck up bitch that does no effort because I DARE ask them to do long response, they also go in a sideline about paranoid unrelated stuff like being watched constantly as an excuse for leaving half ass answer all the time and to be fair i just quick read through and didnt care. they also came to my dms and had a mental breakdown before finnally blocking me. And man it feels GOOD. i have just One message to say : if you have really dimentia X ? I am sorry... except i am not, wanna know why ? because youre nothing but a BITCH. a whinny, INCAPABLE, STUCK UP BITCH, that Cant do shit on their own, Will die alone, miserable in paranoia, and will have deserve every single fucking moment. You are not a good person. You are nothing, unimportant, and if what you show is what you are ? nobody will miss you. ever.

[pinchan]

your colors are so gorgeous and stunning omg…i was wondering what your process is like if it wouldn’t be too much to ask!

omg... thank u... my methods are really mostly fuck around and find out but i think there's some rhyme to it so i'll try to explain

for this piece i wanted it to be vibrant, but even with that in mind in my experience it's always easier fixing/adjusting the colors down the line when the palette isn't too harsh. so i let the colors look a bit muddy in the color-blocking process. then i duplicate the lineart and adjust the colors and overlay settings as needed (here i used 74% linear burn for the bottom layer, and overlay for the top. i also added a pink overlay to both, to make it look less flat)

if i think the colors are still looking flat i'll add an extra color using the hue/color overlay setting. generally it's better to have a balanced palette or something idk i don't remember the color theory. sorry. but yeah i thought there was way too much blue here previously so i balanced it out with some pinks from kenjaku's hair. once im more or less satisfied with the palette, i flatten the layers and mix as needed with a brush of choice (here i use csp's default gouache brush). at this point i also added the shadows on the floor to add some flair even if the bg is a flat color

AND NOW MY BEST FRIEND. TONE CURVE. this works best with my pieces that are more painterly

i duplicate the layer and then go wild with the tone curve settings. it does NOT need to look good! just go wild until you see those juicy extra values and hues, then put the overlay setting as color/hue (these are the settings i generally use, u can always fuck around more with it)

sadly i can't show the curve settings that i used for the piece that i posted but i'm gonna show u by making a brand new one

hmmmmmm yummy greens

without tone curve / tone curve on hue / tone curve on color

and more examples bc i just find it really fun

tl;dr use tone curve