#“I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory” so me fr Tumblr posts

[inkandpaintleopard]

Does anyone ever listen to the Hamilton soundtrack and get like highkey existential. Like damn dude. Who IS gonna tell my story when I die. Does it even matter

[hwadess]

the way you bend, the way you break (c.bg)

so i did a poll for this a couple of days ago, and it had about 90% of you guys say that you guys wanted me to post this sub!beomgyu fic!!! sooooo… here it is. i am so embarrassed to post this but ill be fine omg, here’s yall food!

MDNI OR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

smut warnings: sub!beomgyu x dom!femreader, pet name usage (good boy, puppy), reader gets called mommy, masturbation (m), handjob, piv, sex flashbacks, borderline mindbreak on beomgyu’s end i can’t lie, dacryphilia/crying during sex, beomie so needy fr, nothing more i think.

word count: 1,197 i think. pretty sure

song i wrote this to:

smut is under the cut!

beomgyu just couldn’t seem to help himself. his brain was working overtime. god… the thought of you—naked, sitting above him looking down at his shivering frame—floods his mind. the blankets discarded to the sides of his bed does nothing to help his body stop feeling as if it’s on fire, his skin hot to the touch all over. his breathing becomes much heavier, nearly beginning to pant as he feels cock twitching in his pajama pants, slowly getting more hard and heavy the more he thinks about you.

you, oh my god.

an absolutely sinful memory plays back in his hazy mind of the last time you had your pretty hand wrapped gently around his swollen cock, letting him fuck up into your fist in such a desperate way that it was almost pathetic. “my my…. so needy my puppy….” he can hear you say so clearly, although it’s just his thoughts tormenting him.

he sighs heavily and whines. fuck, he’s so hard. it hurts. poor baby is so deep in thought that he can nearly feel it, closing his eyes, reliving it.

his vision was so fuzzy but he still managed to make out you looking so sinfully up at him, eyes half-lidded from the sight that is unfolding in front of you, tears pooling at the bottom of his glassy, empty, blown-out eyes. he was meer seconds from the tears building up so much that they down his pink blushed cheeks. you hum in approval when he realizes you noticed he was tearing up, earning a twitch from his poor cock.

“cry, puppy…”

sniffles and pants seep into the atmosphere of the empty hotel room, he can’t take this. his cock was throbbing. his shaky hands that were gripping at the hoodie he was wearing now started to make their way down to free his cock from the confines of his pants. he hisses at the contact, “p-please do something…”

he wraps his long fingers around his length, slightly squeezing it, imagining your fingers were the ones around his cock instead. he subconsciously squeezes a bit tighter, but he doesn’t think about how it’s because it feels a little bit more like how you grab his cock. god he remembers it too well. beomgyu begins moving his fist up and down his length at a slow and steady pace, cock jumping at his own ministrations. trapping his swollen bottom lip between his teeth, making it match the blush spreading across his cheeks.

he’s so overwhelmed, his mind wandering helplessly.

he’s now dizzy, flashing back to when you had him against the sofa. so gone, aching cock pressed up against your clothed cunt, your hips desperately grinding down to spread your wetness over his cock that was begging to be buried in you. “please l-let me put my cock in you p-please…“ beomgyu barely gets out. you laugh, he’s cute. his cock throbbing under your clit just felt too good. “so so so fucking good- aaaah-aah… like that…”

beomgyu begins to pump his leaking cock faster, his eyes rolling back. his hand subconsciously going up and down the whole length as the beads of his precum dribble down into the small space between his hand and his pulsating cock to make the glide a lot easier. “f-fuck…”

he can feel his balls tightening as he remembers more from that same memory, and what it was like when you finally let him shove his cock into your warm, wet cunt after teasing him for so long. losing yourself in the way he gasped out your name weakly, but oh so prettily for you. your soaked velvety walls dragging against your baby’s cock so nicely. beomgyu let’s out a pained whimper at that thought, eyes rolling back and mouth falling open at the memory, spit glistening his bitten lips.

beomgyu can so clearly recall how you immediately started moaning when he was able to let you use his cock, hips noisily slamming down onto his. your hands grabbing at his arms as you try and grip onto his triceps, nails digging into his flesh, leaving deep imprints, making him hiss. using his hand he moves it up your chest to mindlessly grab onto your breasts.

you were getting increasingly wetter each time you lowered all the way onto him as your juices pooled down his cock, dripping onto the sofa at this point. you were “s-so f-fucking wet…” and you could hear it. loud. and the sound only turned him into a braindead puppy, spurring him on to letting you use him as hard as you needed to cum. “feels so g-good..” you growl out, you’re staring down at him in awe like he’s the prettiest boy in this world and he’s going to fucking lose it.

“f-fuck mommy… th-that spot feels so good.” beomgyu moans out just like he did with you. his fist matching that same hard and fast pace you were taking him at in that memory. but, fuck, it will never be as good as your tight cunt creaming all over your puppy’s cock when he hits that exact same gummy spot he’s imagining slamming his cock into right now.

fuuuuck…. he can feel his orgasm coming. fast. hard. s-so hard. his brain is becoming mush. he starts to become a lot more desperate, whimpering so loud that anyone can hear, and throwing his head back as he lets his hips fuck into his fist, now decorated with his precum. he wishes it was your soaked pussy dripping down him instead.

he feels the euphoria of his orgasm get closer, hes pathetically gasping for breath, his large palms gripping the sheets that are now mangled around him, trying to ground himself as much as possible. “aaah fuck… ’m so… close m-mommy….” his head pressing backwards into the pillows, his hair messily spread over his eyes, as your hips fuck back down onto his cock to use his swollen, leaking, dark red cock— but it’s his fist, he remembers.

beomgyu’s eyes screw shut and his eyebrows knit together as he remembers the feeling of his mommy cumming on his cock, clenching so tightly. the way your legs close and quiver around his also trembling body. the way you become even tighter, cunt suffocating his overstimulated cock, milking out all of your pretty puppy’s cum into your cunt.

“g-god.” he shakily exhales again as he cums, hard. tears finally breaking free down his flushed cheeks and his cum shooting out wildly as he points his cock upwards to let it land on his hoodie, one of his favorite oversized ones that you let him borrow when he goes away, the last of the cum that he works out of his sensitive cock puddles around his shaft and down his hand.

“so messy puppy….“ you hum, collecting the cum leaking out of you on your index and middle fingers and bring it to beomgyu’s mouth to clean it off. “good boy….”

beomgyu shudders. he has to sit there for a second trying to control his uneven breathing.

fuck, he can’t wait to see you soon.

[the-kr8tor]

I have nothing to say to your kind words apart from thank you! I really appreciate them so much<33 Funny thing my English class is doing a theatre thing (WOO) and I landed the roll of the captain.. I knew this day would come I have been CHOSEN to cosplay as BDAS Hobie.

Daily Hobie HC! Imagine if Hobie began to spiral so bad after our death? Every waking moment, he swears he hears your voice calling out to him. Screaming his name, like you had done in the last moments of your life. His senses have been so heightened, a small thud could send him into a defensive mode, convinced a villain is there. Sometimes, he swears he could feel your warmth brush against him. Yet, when he looks over, he questions whether or not it was really you next to him. His dreams have been injected and replaced with memories of you and him, when you were alive. Sometimes, it was the first kiss, or the multiple fun dates you guys went on, or the nights where he came back from being roughed up, having you and your hands loosen up the knots in his muscles and turn him into mush. The worst parts was when he woke up. When you slipped and fell away from his fingers one more time, melting into nothing but a figment of his imagination.

Due to these dreams, he'd often go days without sleeping, until he'd practically pass out in his bed from the lack of sleep. It'll get too quiet in the houseboat almost always, without you being there to cheer him up, or you there for him to tease you. Your voice rings in his ears, as if you were a ghost whispering sweet nothings, or screaming the way you did when you died. Your entire being was haunting him, and sometimes he swears he could see your figure in his peripheral vision. Recently, Hobie has been experiencing heavily disturbing night terrors of you. The way he'll just be planted in one place with your translucent ghost begging to not let him go, your tears falling into the ground while he pleads for forgiveness makes him wake in a cold sweat. Hobie will stare at his hands, thoughts crackling in his head like a loud thunderstorm, telling him how useless he was to let his lover go. To let you die. Who was he, if not the worst partner in the world, for letting your life go to waste? While here you are, as a ghost, tears welling at the edges of your eyes as he tears himself apart. Hobie has no hope, apart from when death takes him, it'll take him to you. He hates himself for letting you die. He hates himself for slowly forgetting how you looked like. He hates himself for sometimes leaving hurriedly without giving you a hug or a kiss, simply opting for a quick I love you. You want to call out to him. You want to hold him close again, to tell him it's okay as he sobs into your shoulder. You want to feel his thumbs run over the pulse on your wrist, double-checking if you were really alive. Except..you were not. Not anymore. You couldn't care or reassure him anymore like you wanted to. You were stuck loving him from afar now while he felt everything drain from him. He couldn't see nor sense you, despite the fact his senses were terribly heightened to disadvantage to his daily life. For crimes and villains? They were perfect. Yet all he had to come back to was a cold, empty canal boat, the last of your scent having disappeared long ago. -🐦‍⬛

Ofc bb! Us writers need to stick together and hype each other up! WOAH THAT'S AMAZING!!! Hell yea represent our fave pirate captain! I'm mentally throwing bouquets of flowers on stage after your play 💐❤️❤️❤️

DAILY HOBIE HC!!! 🎉🎉🎉 (Can you believe that you've been sending these for 3 months already? I LOVE U FR EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO 🐦‍⬛ ANON FOR THE DAILY MEAL!)

You lovelies just love to hurt me huh? 😭😭😭

God that would break him 😭 especially the dreams and nightmares of you! He literally cannot find sleep bc if it's a good dream he'd want to never wake up but if it's not then he'll rather stay awake forever if all his dreams are of you dying in front of him 😭 I bet even the villains can see how down he is but when his grief turns to sheer anger then I bet every single villain would hide and tuck their tails in between their legs bc if they get caught by the grief stricken angry tornado that is spiderman then there's no going home for them but in a body bag

After all that he still comes home to an empty house that still smells like you

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No because Karasu just has it all no one compares to him like Aoyama stressing for good reason LMAOO

Fr no in between….Mira once again serving the community with realistic dynamic representations….

LMAOOO EXACTLY that was my exact vision for Otoya!! I think it works esp well because we know he’s such a good with the flow dude…so he’d be like ok welp boxers are swag

FR im so excited for Karasu content because I’d imagine we’d get at least like two more chapters worth of Karasu panels soooo (please let him appear more in the main series too omg) another visual added to the manifestation circle

He’s so gorgeous in the epinagi series!!! I think it’s also because the artist has more time to like thoughtfully draw everything out so there’s not as many low quality npc type panels or moments LOL

LMAO good luck coming up with the au theme!! In Mira we trust part 15 but omg a title already…is this top secret….if not…..I’d love to hear it….

SHSHSH stop this has me kicking my feet we’re like y/n and tullia in the Miraverse but on tumblr LMAOOO but SAME sometimes crack is refreshing like I’ll never saw no to a goofy moment where no one’s dying but instead they’re just involved in crazy stupid shenanigans

HSJSHSJS you’re about to collect the entire bllk cast with that thinking /j it’s ok we steer you away and back to the tabietiaken side character agenda….but yeah something about ness just doesn’t do it for me LOL but FRR I remember following along with the chameleon/Charizard rebellious phase I ate up that drama

LMFAOOOOOO BRO BROCK I can’t that’s so funny….im ngl I always lowk made fun of Brock because he’d always go for all the nurse joys and office jennys and any adult female…maybe this was the first sign to your Otoya conversion HAHA ok but you are onto something….bro knows first aid and can cook well it fr is Otoya x Barou love child……kinda a player but I’d like to think he wouldn’t cheat and also husband material without all the yelling LMAOOO

Im ngl whenever I think of Brock I think of his croagunk coming to reign him in in the Sinnoh season and also his iconic line “I’ll use this frying pan as a drying pan” when they were running in the rain….so many good memories….

Ok responding to the other response here too so I don’t keep piling on asks

TULLIA >>>>> I’ll never get over her death in pi though…I was so invested I thought she’d end up happy with toge but no??? Anyways….but I see what you mean!! I think like a lot of the insert fics I’ve seen where the mc actually enters bllk it ends up just kinda following the plot of bllk but with the addition of the mc into the main character group and that setting makes it a bit hard to add canon divergent scenes that show character growth etc…..honestly the smau was perfect because we get to see the character interactions in the realm of “girls in bllk” while not having to worry about the logistical details of plot and whatnot LOL

LMAOO Otoya and Shidou a menace to everyone in bllk im crying Karasu getting constantly targeted and attacked was hilarious and it was honestly how I envisioned their characters to be like too sooooo (the head nod emojis crack me up in general they’re so goofy but SHIDOU using them just amplified the effect by like ten times)

I snorted at that part like bro really tweeted onto social media “please take me in as your child pls I need parents get married and hurry up”

THE GRAMMAR GUARDIAN + THE ALTERNATIVE INTERPRETATION OF TBE WORDS BEING A POINT OF TEASING ISAGI WAS GOLD like I read that part and really thought “this is so big brained omg this is hilarious”

PLS DO!! These were so entertaining to read LOLLL

ALSO apparently there’s some live/talk show going on in the next day or so with some of the vas where they’re gonna release new info on s2….will keep you posted if I see anything…..

- Karasu anon

words cannot describe how perf karasu is 😔 truly i feel like i haven’t liked a character this much in AGESSSS (besides nagi) like bllk really reignited smth in me!! and YES for sure there’s def a time constraint thing but also idk if you compare otoya or barou in epinagi with karasu specifically it’s just like damn…not even trying to hide who the fav is 😭 although maybe i’m just biased because he’s MY fav

i have a few titles floating around so ofc it’s subject to change especially based on what i actually end up writing abt but atm my fav is “dragonfly dance” 🤔 haven’t picked an au yet but i’m getting a very sad feel based on what’s brewing in my mind ☝🏻 not angry sad the way hollyhock is but like regretful sad if that makes sense 😰 smth abt fighting an inevitable destiny but knowing deep down you can’t really change it…we will see though maybe it’ll end up being smth more lighthearted!!

i think brock would be so happy to have a girl be into him that the thought of cheating would NOT cross his mind he’s like peak malewife material 🤩 PLS the frying pan like is so good 😭 he’s so iconic tbh the first few seasons of pokémon looking back were SO funny on a level that i as a child could not comprehend

LMAOOO i fr pulled up w a spin move there her death in pi was so brutal honestly 😓 but yk me letting my readers be happy is a new development and a bllkverse exclusive normally i’m much meaner!! and i will say that in this version in my mind mc is actually in a different wing altogether during the first selection…she was on the same first selection team as other characters we know (maybe like hiori and aryu??) and she was def on team z but not THE team z ☝🏻 meanwhile tullia was in yet another wing (maybe with shidou) so definitely opportunities to branch away from the main plot!! but then mc and tullia do end up as 2 and 3 during second selection (replacing aryu and tokimitsu) because they’re professional players so they can score 100 goals much faster than the others which means we do circle back to being alongside the manga storyline 😔💔 i don’t even have an issue with following canon because idm messing with that — it’s more so that there isn’t necessarily a CONFLICT for the mc besides being a girl?? but she’s a way better player than most of the bllk guys so it’s not a huge issue which means she doesn’t really need to develop much as a character 😬 plus my vision for her in the NEL is literally that she stays benched for the most part because loki thinks she’ll inhibit charles’s growth too much….so honestly i’m afraid a fully fledged story might not be too entertaining (although it certainly would have its moments…karasu x mc partnership plus a deconstruction/subversion of the “i can fix him” trope with nagi plus the tullia and isagi drama going on in the background) 😵‍💫 BUT smaus are perfect!!

THE HEAD NOD EMOJIS ARE SOO FUNNY and shidou would be the one to use them unironically 😭 pls karasu getting bullied was so good LMAOAOAO when he was like “it’s just one thing after another with you today” to otoya i think that was his best line he was so done 😔💔

can’t even blame hiori for that one because his only other options for a mother and father duo in this au are tullia + isagi which would be too friendly for him, tullia + barou which is just scary (mostly because of barou), anri + ego which is even scarier because they’re BOTH crazy, and mc + nagi which would actually be a worse situation than the one he’s in…nagi is NOT cut out to be the father that stepped up 😭💔 in a world of nagiy/n shippers (aka tullia and chigiri) hiori stands alone as the sole tabiy/n shipper 😓 besides maybe otoya but tbh otoya just roots for whatever he finds the funniest at the moment

LMAOOO i think my fav parts of smaus is making random characters interact when they hardly ever do in canon…like grammar guardian isagi and womanizer otoya hardly have any scenes together in the manga but they are beefing HEAVILY over twitter!! NOT TO MENTION OTOYA AND SHIDOU GANGING UP TO BULLY KARASU AND RIN 😭 like those two genuinely do not even interact but yet they just came together so naturally in the smau and i think half of the humor is just those random unexpected relationships that end up occurring HAHAHA

ooh definitely do keep me posted!! i’m always ready for more s2 info…because it means we’re just that much closer to tabieitaken on screen + the returns of nagi and barou (and the other characters ig 😩 preparing myself for the influx of aiku and sae content that’s abt to FLOOD my dash i’m sure)

[starmapz]

hiiii there omg hope youre doing well <3

sorry im so awkward i havent sent an ask to an author in so long bc i hardly get a chance to read fics but i started reading “shame on me” (been at the top of my tbr for so long i was so intrigued reading the summary) and ch1 was SO GOOD!!! i just had some thoughts hope u dont mind me sharing 👉🏼👈🏼

“You could only hope the dread you felt in that moment as your father’s presence faded, to be replaced only by memories, wasn’t a feeling the young boy would experience at such a young age.”

likeeee this being said and then the little kid losing his mom over reader’s accidental activation of miriko curse was CRAAAAZY i literally gasped

the dragon scene curse intro was so good it was like straight out of a movie. the i am death and you are my vessel was OUF. you could write screenplay fr, it was like beautifully directed? idk if that makes sense in the form of writing haha but the creativity of the dragon on the boat! stunning

the part where she debates throwing herself outta the vehicle to escape gojo was so funny to me 😂😂 that would be me fr. im like sir im sorry idk what to do w alla you. im outta here

your gojo is sooooo omg he is SO CANON im screaming. i feel like im IN the show im alr so down bad for him. i love canon au fics bc like him w the blindfold n the tracksuit vibes like ughhh its sexy. also when he said “spacing out at a time like this?” you def nailed it his casual confidence that borders on arrogance, rather than just displaying him as one dimensionally cocky👌🏼 his interest in reader is also so canon bc he lives n breathes scoping our sorcerers of all kinds. also. idk. the scene where he was interrogating miriko. i love his dialogue, he’s so hot. LOVE

i like the subtle detail of miriko’s emotions mixing w readers thats so cool. also “The dragon’s scales shone in the dimly lit cave as the familiar lapping of souls against the wooden ship broke the silence of the air.” WWOOAAAHH THATS SO FREAKING COOOOOL the domain descriptions were chillinngggg. the idea of a grim reaper curse is so cool that’s honestly cooler than gojo’s cursed technique imp

the vulnerability that gojo showed at the end w suguru 💔💔 but i can imagine that mustve meant soooo much to him and like also canon gojo wanted to give suguru a proper burial and passing so like reader helping put him to rest kinda healed a part of me ngl

omg love it!! im so excited to read more <3

hiiiii ellie!! i'm doing great, i hope you are too <3

omg pls don't apologize, i'm super awkward but i promise this isn't awkward at all, this is like the sweetest message ever and made me smile so much?? 😭 you're such an angel omg of COURSE i don't mind <3

idk if other authors do this but i pre-wrote that scene in my head like 30 times before finally committing it to a page so seeing that you gasped is like the biggest compliment ever <3 😭

i'm so glad to hear you like everything with miriko 🥹 the amount of time i spent planning the details surrounding her is unreal, that doc is such a mess with how much i needed to go back to it oof- anyway the point is seeing you say i could write a screenplay? that's like the sweetest compliment ever THANK YOU <3

PFF i'm glad we're on the same page with jumping out of a moving car at the sight of gojo 😂

AWH thank you so much, i tried SO hard to get his personality as canon as i felt i could given that i was going for canon au so that genuinely means the world, it's definitely the part of my writing that i doubt the most (writing smut still intimidates me though) so i'm SUPER glad he comes across like i intended because like damn i love an arrogant canon gojo and i needed to make him HOT 👀

idk why but curse/cursed technique ideas seem to live in my head rent free and i absolutely ADORED the idea of making like a benevolent grim reaper and basing it off the river styx, it means the world to hear you think it's cool 😭

UGH ikr that part hurt to write, i just wanted to give them both like a real, proper send off god i love them fr they deserve to be happy

my turn to actually be awkward im sorry omg- THANK YOU so much for reading, it means the world, i like put my life on pause to read whenever you update i absolutely love the way you write and i love how fun and also HOT you write the jjk men UGH ihm gojo has a hold on me like you wouldn't believe 👀 kickoff is quite literally the inspiration behind me wanting to get back into writing (and eventually actually posting) because i just adore your writing sm

i hope you're doing well, stay safe and healthy <3

[cero-sleep]

I MUST know everything you got on Polar bruh EVERYTHING. Anything you’ve got written down for them I WILL READ. Anything else you have brainstormed for them I WILL ALSO READ. You have fr hooked me with just the design alone. No pressure thoooo

Finally sat down and compiled what I have!

AND I'M AAAAAAAAAAAA

OVER THE FACT THAT PPL LIKED THEM!!!! HELLO????????? THANK YOU SM

Ok!! So Polaris

Adding this right here as well

As I mentioned before, they ocuppied what would have been the role of the Y/N (fun fact, they were going to be the Y/N of the au, but became an OC instead heh), working with Sun and Moon and getting close to them, until one day after their shift, they're running late and, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, happen to catch Vanny doing smth, who in turn kills them, but isn't able to get rid of the body in time

Bc their death was really traumatic and they weren't ready to move on, they accidentally and unknowingly possessed a new animatronic body that was in development and basically got stuck that way, bc, when they woke up, they couldn't recall much of anything, memories a mess, so they no longer knew who they were and just kinda went along with stuff

Not very long after Polaris' death, a new animatronic, Star, is introduced as an assistant and extra pair of hands for the daycare

Sun and Moon aren't thrilled, as they're still mourning and it feels like they are replacing their friend

So they act distant, their relationship being purely professional

I imagine Star would struggle with some stuff that is second nature to humans, but not even close to that to animatronics, getting restless at night, especially at first, bc of being unable to/or just not sleeping (and also anxious bc, for some reason, they never feel entirely safe in the Pizzaplex) and at some point even panicking bc they feel like they can't breathe

I imagine that, probs the first night, Sun and Moon would suggest drawing as a way for them to distract themselves and leave it at that

So, they end up drawing those weird... memories??? maybe to try to figure out what they mean, or a pattern or, unconsciously, just to try to find some sort of closure

Sun and Moon would mostly keep to themselves, but maybe one day they'll notice that some of the stuff they're drawing... looks familiar... but how could they...?

They'd pay more attention to them after that

Still feeling iffy abt them and now having some new found questions, and they'd start to notice more things that they didn't really pay much attention to before, but that don't make much sense, like stuff they might say or be familiar with

I imagine that, eventually, they'd start talking abt it and Sun and Moon would probably figure it out first (still doubtful however)

Eventually, all three would realize what happened (partly) and Polar would remember who they are, at least more so than before, memories still kinda fussy

After they have had time to come to terms with all this and become closer again, being on more stable ground so to say, a Y/N would actually be introduced bc of complaints from the parents of the lack of an actual human person watching over their kids

Polar's relationship with them would be kinda complicated

They would be nice to them and mean it, Y/N is a good person afterall and they like them, but sometimes they'd also need to step away for a min or two bc of it all becoming too much of a reminder of themselves and all that happened

They couldn't help but worry abt Y/N either bc, what if they also end up getting murdered? They aren't safe here

At first, Sun, Moon and Polar would agree not to tell Y/N anything, keeping it to themselves, but eventually, after they get closer and enough trust is built, they'd actually talk to them abt it

This is mostly it! Security Breach like events would most likely take place, leading to the Plex burning down and the group getting out

Also, I imagine that their more calm and chill energy contrasts with the DCA's more energetic and/or chaotic one (still unsure if Sun and Moon would be together or separate for this)

[chuluoyi]

It's okay! I hope you enjoyed your break!!

YES there is a Xmas event omg I'm broke... BUT you have a chance bbg let's gooooo

😭😭 Unholy blood is so SO good tho!! Like Tbh I never liked vampires and stuff but this plot is so interesting I LOVE it. And to top it all off with ROMANCE- *chef's kiss*

Omg tell me once you've read it! I just started reading it haha!

omg right? No longer a heroine is so good like I love her character development! I also recc "Sister's war". It's by the same artist! It's so drama but I live for it.

hehe no probs Chu! I love giving reccs hahaha

OH and that's on my TBR omg glad to hear it's good I'll read it soonnn

.... No surprises there... Ngl she's a walking red flag... no offence but I have really no words...

AW it's an honour 🥹🥹

hahaha I can't sleep in I've got like 3 projects due in Jan... My trip to Kuantan [YES KUANTAN] was only 4 days long.... I need a longer break istg banking and finance isn't being good to me AT ALL.

YEAH I GET YOU I can't even go to school without light makeup cause I feel like everyone would judge me if I went bare faced bruh. Plus in my school, we don't have a uniform so everyone just dresses up. I don't have much clothes but I still gotta dress up cause the other girls look like they're going for a fashion show... Eyeshadow eyeliner and lipstick too! Like my extracurricular activity is makeup but I don't even feel like doing makeup everyday before going to school like PLS I'm there to study not to look good?!

Sorry for ranting HAHAH and yeah that's how I spent my secondary school breaks too! I love "Haikyuu" my first anime was "Yuri!! On ice". The 2nd one is gay but it's pretty good in my opinion. I love Violet evergarden too omg. For shows... I watch a LOT of K-dramas and my fave is "While you were sleeping" and "The Hymn of death". The latter is a short one, 3 eps if I rmb correctly! But it's so good and angsty HAHHA

YEAH I think I know that acc omg! I don't follow her but I always receive notifs from her- I DO hope he's alive tho! My non-JJK friends like to send me pics of half Gojo... You know the kitkat one?? Brutal...

YEAH LEVI SO FINE FR!!! Hotness at it's finest oh my goodness Idc if he's half blind and short and older than me he's the definition of a MAN

Oh my OH MY Taytay supremacy 🥹🥹🥹 I agree it's all so relatable like every song is a story itself!

Thanks for the tips, Chu 😭😭😭 I should try the forum... I hope it can help me....

Hahah totally relatable! When I started Accounting 2 years back I was like ?!??!?! More than half the time HAHAH like JUST BALANCE 😭😭😭 You'll make my life a whole load easier.... 1 financial statement is worth 20 marks... so you can imagine how much I'll suffer if I don't balance it.. Okay but I prefer my maths and languages over sciences 🫠🫠 I suck at Bio... But I kinda like chemistry ngl it's quite fun

hehehe it's nothing!!! and thankss I did enjoy it!!

Also, when I went to Kuantan heard the mayor was planning to build a LEGIT REAL LIFE memorial for Nanami 😭 She's in the midst of liaising with Gege and JJK editors. Its so cute how Kuantan is using Nanami as their marketing strategy 😭😭 Istg all the Nanami girlied will FLOCK to Kuantan just to take a pic with the memorial HAHHA

Okay I think I've written too much 🤭🤭 Hope to hear from you soonnnnnn 🩵🩵🩵🩵

-🪩

disco anonn!!🥹🥹 i have just gotten back from luke's bakerlon card omg i'm positively swooning it's my most fav card now AAAAAA

it's the same childhood friends luke rosa but takes place in bakerlon, really. and there's this little angst between them, forbidden love trope, and rosa is as brilliant as always if not more!! i love luke so much he's always there for her like aaaaaaaaa

and in the beginning, we get to see luke all serious and with that lower voice too🫠🫠

and the xmas event!! good lord i put all schips i have again and got marius so i think okay that's worth it🥹 i haven't read it yet but will after this! thank god they make luke an SR one or else😭😭

samee!! i used to think vampire stories are usually over-the-top but unholy blood makes it so modern i love it sm😭 it's to the point that i'm rereading it several times because the ending is just tooo bittersweet don't you think?😭 like we won but at what cost... pastor michael's sacrifice at the beginning of the chapter never fails to bring me to tears ugh

wait i actually didn't find the author's new work because i got tangled up somehow. is it apostle's creed? i ended up reading that🥲 but i think it's one of her older works...

okay okay i live for all drama!🥹 as of now i'm still on death is the only ending for villainess! it's so good omg thank you for the recs i just realized that i once read it too but then forgot it halfway🥲 i totally remember callisto's smirk alright. now i'm picking it up AHAHAH

you're going to kuantan!? omg i hope you have fun there!!🥹 to be honest silly me didn't know than kuantan is in malaysia before jjk🥲 but yes i saw this one ad that features nanami for kuantan😭 and yes me too! year end means work after work so i'm quite literally dying these days🥲 once january comes i'll be submitting my one-week leave!

i so relate to you!! but it's so cool that your school doesn't have any uniform and that you have makeup as an extracurricular?! i used to hate my high school skirt sm because they made it so long i had to cut it🥲 AHAHHAA omg like going to fashion show🥲🥲 i used to get this hate(?) from these group of questionable boys for wearing powder at school whereas they also mocked girls who were bare-faced as well. istg they were simply weird😩

that's perfectly okay!! you can rant whenever you want with me!🥹 ahh i've heard of yuri on ice too back then it was kind of booming?🥹 and HYMN OF DEATH I WATCHED IT LEE JONGSUK omg his dramas are always good🥹 and shin hyesun's acting is always top-notch too. i love shin hyesun in angel's last mission the most though because the story is just generally sweet!

that KITKAT HAHAHAHAH😭😭 i know that and also this one meme of gojo's half body with christmas hat. gods i hate that meme sm😭 my bf loves it he's so insufferable

hotness at its finest is so real ahahahaha

you're welcome!!🥹 i personally feel the forum is so helpful even though we asked the basics so i hope it'll help you too!

THAT'S SO TRUE or the exams would only consists of 2 financial statements which means each of them worth 50 marks?!😭 that sort of headache is what makes me choose engineering as my major in uni but then now at work i'm somehow back to dealing with finances and such *siiiigh*

omg you like math? i used to hate that even more than economics🥹 because i'd tear my hair out for finding x and y and for the life of me, i can't solve those kind of questions fast😩 and same! i suck in bio bcs i have trouble remembering complicated things but chemistry is so fun there was one time i remember all things in the periodic table even though i have a short-term memory aha

REALLY?!😭 wait but how, is it the same or different with the nanami memorial that's in the google?? even i'm interested to visit kuantan too if there would be a nanami shrine there!!🥹🥹

that's okaaay! my reply is sooo long too omg and i'm waiting for your reply too!🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[jaegersmoon]

saturn by sleeping at last is soooo ob jean coded.

"you taught me the courage of stars before you left" so jean despises himself atm but even then the courage it takes for him to get through each day is incredible, even if he doesn't realize it. i'm 87% sure you wrote that he was kind of a brat as a kid and marco helped soften his personality in a way, hence marco teaching him said courage.

"how light carries on endlessly even after death" i imagine that as he lets himself heal, he starts finding marco's light everywhere despite his life having ended.

"with shortness of breath, you explained the infinite / how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" marco's tripping over his words talking about this with jean, smiling and making gestures with his hands, expressing how grateful he is to exist in the same universe as jean.

"i couldn't help but ask / for you to say it all again" jean is smiling and nodding along to marco's talking and he's absorbing all if it, or at least he's doing his best to. he needs to hear marco explain it again, whether it's because he wants to memorize every word coming out of marco's mouth or just because he savors every second of hearing marco's voice (i'm telling you rn it's both).

"i tried to write it down / but i could never find a pen" despite wanting to engrave marco's words into his brain, his memory fails him regarding the specific wording (he remembers, but he feels he can't express it as poetically as marco). also he's just hanging on to every word marco forms, so typing marco's words down doesn't even occur to him. he's so incredibly present in this conversation.

"i'd give anything to hear / you say it one more time" exactly as it says. jean would give everything to hear it again, he would give his life to hear marco’s voice utter a single word (okay so this is a bit of a gray area because you can’t exactly recognize a person’s voice in death (that’s a lie it’s not a gray area jean would recognize marco’s voice anywhere. even if he were dead)).

“that the universe was made / just to be seen by my eyes” he really does need to hear this though. he doesn’t believe he deserves to lay eyes upon the universe anymore, his sense of self worth is so low and hearing this would make him feel so warm inside. that soft feeling creeps into his chest, even if he evicts it before it can begin to make a home there.

“with shortness of breath, / i’ll explain the infinite” now jean is talking to y/n. he’s short of breath for a few reasons. thinking about marco brings up a lot of memories and feelings which, you know, he may have been pushing away and refusing to deal with, so his chest tightens and suddenly it’s so much harder to get a word out. trying to convey this message as well as marco did to him while also making it unique to y/n uses a lot of his brain :( he kind of just forgets to breathe lol. and looking into y/n eyes or just her face in general makes his heart stop, his breath catching in his throat and his mouth drying.

“how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist” the slight difference between his and marco’s phrasing of this symbolizes him making these words his own, rather than simply regurgitating rhetoric (as i am so frequently guilty of). this also makes me think about when he said that, if the universe fucked them over and put them in different worlds, he would alter space until their worlds collided. not only is he telling y/n how rare and beautiful she is, but also how rare and beautiful it is that they exist on the same planet, at the same time, paths crossing. oh he’s down so fucking bad. kiss her, you fool.

okay sorry for the monster length wow just like jean fr!! ask 😭 i really would write a whole dissertation connecting this song to him and him to this song if i could. i am soooo normal about them haha they are so real to me. did a wee bit of projection onto jean and marco’s characters lmfao hope u don’t mind <3 also kinda wanna write smt similar with y/n and jupiter by flower face!! depends on if i get all mushy again and how you respond to this one 😭

love you <3

(P.S. SATURN. JEAN. HIS FAVORITE PLANET. I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT GOD I’M RIPPING MY FACE OFF THINKING ABOUT THIS. (same goes for y/n and jupiter. the one by flower face and the one by the marias. though i see the marias' jupiter as both of them talking to the other. whatever that's irrelevant rn.))

oh my god. no bc i have officially passed away now this has killed me <33333 it was so nice knowing all of you

the way so if you analyze my book and the characters so so amazing to me you have no idea

[chryzure-archive]

ChrysiArchie rant you say…? 👀👀

YES, OKAY, SO.. this is a little bit of world-building / just general storyline stuff i’ve added, and i’m putting them in random bullet points, so if they don’t make sense… alas <//3 but i’ve been thinking abt them sooo hard even though i haven’t even gotten to archie in my reread yet (i think i’ll die when i see him again, fr!!!), SO:

on selene, it’s… semi-normal for you to take on a consort in a marriage. it happens a lot if it’s an arranged marriage (as is chrysi’s with her fiancé, who i have been thinking will be elias bloom for extra fury and helplessness :)), so in an attempt to find any hope in her future, chrysi chooses jacks to become her legal consort. obvi he jumps on this chance bc it’s THE only way for him to be with her, but okay. we move.

vaguely related to that… chrysi was technically “arranged” to marry azure waaaaay back before she’d even been shipped off to the pole. she was the executioner and he was some noble (forgive me, my world-building hasn’t gotten this far ;;; i was thinking w chryzure soulmate brain instead of writer-brain

anywayyy, azure dies :) and UGHHH, ophelia learns allll about chrysi and her tragic past through the engagement ring set azure gave chrysi :((( she didn’t mean to read the past in the objects, but she touched it and chrysi’s grief was so overwhelming that it dragged her into reliving chrysi’s pain over losing azure… and later going deeper into the rings’ memories to see how much azure truly loved chrysi. it kills me inside. it shocks ophelia, since chrysi seemed to give her heart so wholly to archie. lots of things going on there.

that follows up w a scene between chrysi and ophelia, where chrysi talks abt soulmates… and bc in the mirror visitor series, the population doesn’t believe in god anymore (…. except the god they talk of isn’t even god, it’s a woman named eulalia gonde, and her name has been mispronounced and warped into “god”. sorry, that’s a major spoiler, but we move, okay), chrysi goes on to say, “i don’t know if i believe in a god like the ancients did, but i do believe there was some higher divinity that made azure for me and i for him. everything about our love was ordained. i could believe in a god with him at my side.” SOBBING. IMAGINE BEING ARCHIE WALKING IN ON THAT AND FINDING OUT THAT CHRYSI HAD A WHOLE ENTIRE SOULMATE BEFORE SHE DEDICATED HERSELF TO ARCHIE AFTER AZURE’S DEATH. I’M GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW UP.

also, vaguely related to that: on selene, i’ve decided that even though religion has moved away from the concept of a “god”, they do still have saints that they worship (esp since they’re such a dreamlike people, it makes sense to me??? but also i wanted jacks to still swear by using the saints’ names hehe)—and that chrysi, as the current executioner, has gained such a foothold in politics (on accident), that she’s on her way to becoming a saint. even jacks, when she takes him on as a consort (after she left archie and archie… kinda left her too, unintentionally), will whisper that she’s his saint alone and he doesn’t want to share her. also he calls her “saint chryseis” bc. i want to have some chrysijacks crumbs in this universe, okay.

since selene is highly inspired by venice as well, i figured the combination of the arts and religion being so deeply ingrained in the arts leads to a reasonable assumption that selene would still be more religious than the rest of the arks. …. yeah :)

….anyway, unrelated, archie shows up during chrysi’s engagement party. we’ve been over this. he doesn’t realize it’s chrysi’s engagement party at first though???? and when he sees chrysi walk up to elias bloom + he sees that she’s taken off all of her rings so elias bloom can put his singular stupid fucking trophy ring on chrysi’s finger, archie feels such a sense of horror that he doesn’t know how to explain.. then he realizes, oh, he loved how much chrysi was independent, even though it frightened him a little bit, how little he understood her… :((

elias bloom is the one that dies unexpectedly :) on that same night where chrysi’s washing the blood off her hands and archie shows up mid-hand wash and chrysi’s terrified and confused by her spotty memory :) both archie and jacks are thrilled chrysi’s no longer engaged to that bastard, but it’s pretty obvious that this doesn’t look good for proving her innocence.

anyway, also jumping to another point: chrysi never let archie use his ability of transparency on her bc she was frightened that if he did, he would feel her pain and realize that she was sick and dying. she didn’t want him to grieve her while she was still alive. well, jokes on her, bc archie’s also dying, but you know. whatever.

that said… their happy ending is him using his powers to create their own little communion of souls (pretentious, but it is kinda a romantic concept. i hate him) and they’re finally no longer hiding any secrets from each other + now they trust each other… they make me want to gnaw on drywall.

[neon-danger]

Tell me why I didn't make a more recent folder backup than March 10th for my SSD with all my Sims saves and mods to die on me randomly overnight about 12 days ago and only yesterday did I get a new drive.

Am I really gonna spend hundreds to recover data from it? Yes. Yes I am. Am I gonna figure out a system to automatically backup that folder every fucking night afterwards? Yes. March 10th isn't terrible but it also is. Telling you as who else is gonna understand this plight lmao. Explaining the importance of this on the phone to some guy working at a company for data recovery was something else. Yes Sims saves and mods and screenshots are that important to me. Why is my most recent screenshot in my backups of Alex and Jack fucking, why. I'm sorry data recovery people you're gonna see my Sims fucking 100 ways to Sunday. I guess I have excuses to write and work on art in the meantime. I seem to have Sims 2 and 3 and Castaway Stories backups that are up to date as I haven't played those in while but I have to reinstall them all again and I am so sick of setting up my graphics card in 20 different text files for every Sims 3 pack man. Maybe in half a year when I get bored enough.

Relevantly I've probably said this before as I repeat myself a lot but I use Sims builds for story references so much, I usually try to imagine a baseline in my head first and then build something based on it and fully flesh it out so I can better imagine rooms and shit in writing in something rigid versus it always shifting around based on fuzzy memory. Plus it gives me an excuse to use all the super specific CC I've made. It's even made good art refs as I am fucking terrible at architecture and perspective.

My guy I would choose DEATH before letting ANYBODY see my jalex sims fucking you are braver than any US marine fr

Like I started reading this like “dude I set up my apocalyptic save file the day before the last patch update so I feel you” but your WHOLE DRIVE??? I’d die. I’d start fresh. I am never getting that save back and that’s unfortunate but I will fr die before I let any tech people see my sims save

Tbf I start new saves all the time so like not as big a deal to me, but I also just,,, don’t hold onto my screenshots

Like I’m deleting that folder every three days because there’s no way in hell it’s getting seen

That and I take a lot of accidental screenshots

As for builds, there’s probably been a sims 4 build for every single building, house, apartment, dorm, or motel room for every fic I’ve ever written INCLUDING oneshots

My attention span is negative two so I will start a build, get an idea for another build and leave the first build unfinished until I get bored with the next three builds and that is entirely reflected in my writing as well

[theoutcastedartist]

fav hcs for each of the turtles?

Alright headcannons time~

Gonna do the Rise turtles specifically cause they are currently rotting my brain the most rn, even though I grew up with 2012.

DONNIE

Dude cannot stand sleeping with his soft shell exposed out in the air, so he's often sleeping on his backside with the soft shell itself pressed against the bed. Even more so after the movie.

Between him and Leo, I hc that Donnie is the older twin. I feel like Splinter would base the turtles ages soley on height and Donnie is only SLIGHTLY taller than his blue twin lol.

Another fav headcannon (tho it's pretty much cannon now I think lol) is that Donnie is only okay with touch, with those he cares about (like his brothers, Splinter, or April), if he is the one who initiates it. Outside of that, touch is literally revolting to him (he just like me fr).

Also you know this man could and would kill God given the chance.

RAPH

Definitely the "Mom" of the group. Whenever any of his little brothers have a nightmare, he let's them stay in his room with him so that they aren't alone.

With Leo, he'll let him tuck himself underneath his arm, under the blankets for as much contact, warmth, and weight pressing down on him as much as possible.

Mikey simply likes to cuddle or lay next to his oldest brother with as many blankets and pillows as possible (pillow fort wooo). He doesn't enjoy being squeezed to death like Leo does in his sleep lol (on the rare occasion Leo can sleep, anyways)

Donnie will switch between sleeping on top of Raph's shell, one of the few times he's willing to sleep with his soft shell completely exposed, or simply lay next to Raph with his shell facing him.

When Raph has a nightmare, all the bros come to comfort him and keep him company.

MIKEY

He doesn't just paint on canvases, my guy also does sculpting as well as digital art.

My fav hc is that he'll make his fam paintings of their favorite things to cheer them up. He started doing this when he was little and made Leo a painting of him and the family smiling under a rainbow (its one of Leo's most prized possessions to this day).

Another fav hc is orange boi enjoys being held and carried up high. He likes to feel tall.

LEO

Fav hc of him, as I've mentioned before in another ask, is him being the team's best medic, but also being the worst fucking patient imaginable. Trying to treat his injuries after the Kraang's defeat was a pain for everyone involved lmao

He'll also correct Donnie on any medical terms he may get wrong on the very rare occasion that happens (the smugness that radiates off him is absolutely s u f f o c a t i n g lmao)

My dude is also an insomniac. On particularly bad nights, he'll drink de-cafinated tea to try settling his nerves. He needs pressure in order to sleep, but after the events of the movie, sometimes pressure tends to provoke unwanted memories... it's a 50/50 chance he'll receive it well.

[that-unhinged-stem-dude]

Klaus Hargreeves : Prince of Darkness

The title will make sense to those who have watched season 3.

I will be talking about his character development in season 3 so those who havent watched S3, watch it and then read.

⚠️ THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON 3 ⚠️

TW : light swearing, mention of death, substance abuse

Klaus, my beloved. So integral yet so irrelevant. The duality *chef’s kiss*.

no like fr

we got to see him overcome his parental issues and develop a replacement relationship w reggie only for it to backfire lmao

i mean he is one of the most accepting characters i have seen/read and i just feel much more at ease watching him

When he helped reggie get off the drugs, it just gave me such a callback to his substance and drug addiction where he had no one to help him but there he was helping him and im so glad he could get closure in his relationship with reginald. Like i was full on fucking sobbing ok? ive never had anyone take care of me without judging me, internally or externally.

OH and when stan killed him and he went for a walk down memory lane, seeing his 13 year old self and saying hang in there 😭 but its so cool that his hidden power is legit immortality because i would fucking want to die the minute i found out if i had that power. That pre-teen girl who he saw when he died was so done with him 💀

I just loved five and klaus bonding on their little road trip. Also the scene where the Amish people chase him with their fucking pitchforks, comedic gold. Like he had the purest intentions and they were like “no, lets chase you.” Also him meeting his mom in the Void? So wholesome although i have absolutely no memory of it.

CAN WE SPEAK ABT HIS LOGIC?? when reggie left him behind, i was about throw hands but he came thru man. He k*lled himself and just went into the void before he kugeblitzed. Hes just so smart i love it.

Klaus was genuinely happy to see Ben again and tried SO hard to get him to open up and all it took was to get him drunk at Luther and Sloane’s wedding lmao. But fr, imagine seeing the brother you just lost who sacrificed himself to save your other brother.

I definitely have more thoughts but my memory is bad. Feel free to share your thoughts in the notes!!

[feuqueerfire]

DNA Says Love You Live Blogging

Bro I didn't even love KinnPorsche, so why am I like still not watching anything new and have just been refreshing the AO3 VegasPete tag for the past 4 days since the show ended? They've fully been taking up so much of my mind lol

I gotta just... start a new show to move on, so here goes. I haven't heard much about this show at all but I know it explores some gender stuff? Hope I like it!

Episode 1 (July 13)

lol? I actually have no idea what this show is about, I guess starting with some ghost cam stuff?

Are the pink-haired guy and the TA a side couple?

Episode 2 (July 13/14)

um it's like 1:30 am and I'm at the part where they get to the grandma's house and uhhhh maybe I'll finish this tomorrow. It's probably not actual horror but I don't wanna deal with it rn

Amber's face is nice to look at and I'm glad they don't blur his acne scars because I'm really into them (is that weird to say?)

Is this show actually supernatural or are they just stories? Curious

Episode 3 (July 15)

I'm still way too into VegasPete and reading every fic about them on AO3 to truly move on to a different show, so it's taking me forever to watch this lol

Aw, the 3 friends bickering as children

lol Li (pink-haired, excitable, hyper) and Gwan (TA, calming, exasperated) are cute. Both tease each other cutely

oh yeah lol I forgot there was gonna be a romantic arc between Amber and our main character (Le Chien) until Amber's long staring and photographing lol

lol "If Rong was a woman, her weight should be lighter and the rope shouldn't break" lol x2

lmfao Li orchestrating a ~moment~ between Amber and Le Chien

Episode 4 (July 15)

Not Li imaging watching the clip of when he put Le Chien and Amber in romantic moment last episode and now imagining them in other various romantic scenarios

aklsdfj bruh, Li fr posted a romantic video of Le Chien and Amber to the channel

Aw, seems like the girl (Hsieh Yu He) is feeling like she's being replaced? or kinda pushed out? or just not as close? to the group and especially Le Chien spends more time with Amber

Every single ~moment~ between Li Chien and Amber is really played to death with the slow-mo, 4 different angles, the music lol

Amber reminds Le Chien of his old friend who is also Amber as a youngin lol

I'm still not fully sure where this story is going and there's no romantic chemistry yet, just shots and moments that make it seem like there's ~something there~ and also I'm watching it at 1.4-1.7x speed. Makes it sound like I really hate the show but I actually just think it's kinda boring lol but this episode I started becoming a little more interested than before because oooh interpersonal relationships

We'll see how the rest of the show goes, I really hope I start liking it more

Episode 5 (July 15)

Yay family and friends dinner with Li Chien, his mom, Amber, Yu He and Teng. I like how everyone is so friendly and casual with his mom (Ms Pu)

Li Chien putting food in Amber's plate heh the ultimate sign it's a BL

Interesting reaction to it though because in all Thai BLs the parents are like oh? eyes emoji but here's the mom's like "lmfao chill and let Amber breathe don't bombard him with all the food." Although she did tease like "oh seems like Amber's the only one with the bowl while we others aren't here" and Le Chien says "you guys are all my family go get it yourself while he's a guest."

cute, I think the dinner is cute because I think good friends and family interactions are always cute and endearing and enjoyable

Aw they don't even know they're thinking of memories with Wen Wen while their old friend is right beside them. It would be interesting to get more of Amber's POV and what he's thinking but I guess they didn't wanna give away Wen Wen = Amber so soon

rip Yu-He's face everytime Li Chien gives special attention to Amber at dinner or at the cafe. Is it jealous romantically or platonically?

Le Chien and Amber making food together in suchhhh a coupley way lol. Even Le Chien's mom see and agrees

T.T Amber literally crying into his orange pie. I'm assuming he's overwhelmed by the orange pie memories that we saw in episode 3/4 start of the episode flashback

Damn, I knew Li and Gwan were not doing well in their relationship since Gwan has been so flighty and seems dishonest with Li but I didn't realize Amber would come into the mix

I'm still watching at 1.5x+ speed but I'm more interested now because of all the interpersonal relationships and brewing conflicts lol

Episode 6 (July 16)

rip Li and Gwan breaking up after 4 years. I don't get why Gwan doesn't freaking explain or say anything though like he's keeping secrets about going abroad to study + meeting up with Amber

Okay previously I was like I don't feel any romantic chemistry between Amber and Le Chien because the only moments are like when they force it down our throat with the slow mo and bg music but seeing them cooking together is nice and cute. Food as love language strikes again fr

lol Amber holding onto Le Chien tightly during the motorcycle ride

Aw montage of Gwan thinking of himself and Li's cute memories in their apartment

Episode 7 (July 16)

They're showing us the start of Li and Gwan but I'm kinda back to not caring

lol Le Chien and Amber just... standing and witnessing Li and Gwan's conversation

dang very quick decision to be willing to go abroad with Gwan

Le Chien's mom is asking about whether he likes a girl and mentioned his future wife hoho I hope she ends up being a nice and accepting mom since they get along so well

I'm bored again lol At least the episodes are ~25 mins, so I can hopefully finish it in the next day or two

Episode 8 (July 16)

The gang all hanging out together once again

Le Chien white knighting for Amber by drinking for him and Yu He watching like :( Also I liked Le Chien's hand on Amber's shoulders in this scene

lol this show really does have every BL/romance trope in existence, including Le Chien taking a drunk Amber home and falling asleep beside him on the bed

We couldn't see Amber's chest in the shirtless bathroom scene but Amber probably doesn't have top surgery right? From what I've read, it didn't seem to say anything about that. I wishhhhhh

lmfao "No matter where she is, if I meet Wen Wen, I can recognize her right away" and Amber's face like -_- lol

rip Amber walking around all sad/teary but also going around taking photos

Episode 9 (July 17)

It's almost 2am but here's my last piece of entertainment before going to bed. I think we find out about Wen Wen = Amber here

The transphobia Amber faced >:(( (I don't think Amber identifies as trans, people said he's probably intersex and doesn't identify as trans, but this is still transphobia regardless?)

Aw, Amber and Yu He :')

I wonder how long till Le Chien finds out. Also, I just remembered there's a car crash in the horizon lol

Oh so the scene of Amber seeing Le Chien and Yu He in the park is real? but before he introduced himself in that cafe I'm guessing? Parallels with their childhood pic rip

Episode 10 (July 17)

Why don't they translate what's written in the crane origami? Yu He's confession to Le Chien?

Aw Yu He T.T I agree with Teng ge, we're no saints so her reaction is understandable and the fact that she thinks so much about them means she still cares a lot about them

Oof Yu He told Le Chien that Amber is Wen Wen. I kinda don't like that? I wish she'd at least given Amber a heads up

Woah intense confrontation type scene between Amber and Le Chien. Yelling "I'm Zhuang Xi-Wen, I'm a boy. I'm not the Wen Wen you knew!" while grabbing Le Chien by the collar is really impactful

I wish I knew what pronouns they're using in Mandarin because the subs use she/her whenever Wen Wen's name comes up and it's like hmm, especially when they're referring to current Amber as Wen Wen and using she ?

Episode 11 (July 18)

I love the sibling banter between Yu He and her brother, + the fact that she's getting over Le Chien

I really thought the circle around to see younger version of themselves would've happened a lot sooner

Aw that hug

Amber said not to call him Wen Wen

Amber cries so often rip like I get it but it's fr a lot

lmfao this silly car crash

Silly Le Chien unable to realize his feelings

Nice for Le Chien and audience both to know that Le Chien likes Amber for Amber and not because he's Wen Wen

I like it when there's an actual reason the children are afraid to come out to their parents, like right now Le Chien saying his mom always looked forward to him getting married and having kids or like in Life: Love On The Line where Akira's mother always told him to be "normal"

Anyway, I know the mother reacts well so it's all fine

One more episode left

Episode 12 (July 18)

Once again, the child apologizing to the parent for being queer and then being reassured by the parent that it's all fine is truly my kryptonite

I do wish the acting was better though lol KinnPorsche had stellar acting and now I have to get used to the level of acting in most BLs

Aw, cute ending

I don't know how they could've made the show less boring (cut out most of the first half maybe?) but it really was so boring. I was wondering if I did it a disservice by speeding it up when watching but some episodes were just too boring to be watched at 1x speed. The first 3 episodes were related to the ghost/legend hunting stuff and then it hardly took up any time in the next 9 episodes. Also, the side couple stuff with Li and Gwan felt unnecessary, they could've just been cute and fun throughout the show instead of having the storyline in Ep 5-7.

However, I still enjoyed all the friendships and familial relationships! I am truly a lover of such relationships and they showed complex friendships and wholesome families. Also, interesting gender stuff even though they didn't explain anything much.

Rating: 5.5/10

[undinoble]

Crazy long text ahead i warn you, just explaining some process I went through while drawing this Frank and Julie low light dying thingie, probably gonna drop some wips along the way, you may want to see… idk, dealer’s choice

!TRIGGER WARNING! Violence, death, suicide. Proceed with caution.

Well where do we begin? The inspiration maybe?

Exploring the magical world of Spotify when a band came in, one of the first songs (if not the first one) of theirs I heard was Partners in Crime by Set It Off, you know, love at first sight, love for their voices, their music style, aaand the lyrics, OH BOI the lyrics, check it out:

“You’ll never takes us alive We swore that death will do us part They’ll call our crimes a work of art You’ll never takes us alive We’ll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners”

Dunno, for two passionate juvenil delinquents that just wants trouble this line really fits to me, the dreamy couple feels invencible.

“Everybody freeze Nobody move Put the money in the bag Or we will shoot Empty out the vault And me and my doll will be on our way”

It’s actually interesting to think of the Legion robbing a bank, it’s not like troublesome teens didn’t do that in movies c’mon, it’s a small city, they wear masks, ez!

“Our paper faces flood the streets And if the heat comes close enough to burn Then we’ll play with fire ‘cause

You’ll never takes us alive”

THIS. This is so a Legion thing to say. Can you imagine their masks all around the streets as a warning like “HEY, WE ARE HERE, FEAR US” I love this

“Here we find our omnipotent outlaws Fall behind the grind tonight Left unaware that the lone store owner Won’t go down without a fight Where we gonna go He’s got us pinned Baby I’m a little scared Now, don’t you quit He’s sounded the alarm I hear the sirens closing in”

The second big moment, the adrenaline along with the instrumental is crazy for real

“The skies are black with lead-filled rain A morbid painting on display This is the night the young love died Buried at each others side”

THIS. (again) is the main theme of the drawing, it’s where the inspiration flood over me, the scene was clear in my mind, c’mon if you read till here there’s absolutely no reason not to listen to the song you won’t regret im not even getting payed to show it off

ACTUALLY FORGET IT- i just won a sub on Cody Carson’s stream WHAT IS LIFE??????? Thanks Max!!!

I totally didn’t draw this while listening to the music when i should be working what are you talking about??

Hold the sketch, focus on the gun. It’s dope aint it?

Anyways, here goes the lore, along with the music lyrics I filled up the gaps, well, Suz and Joey are not around, maybe doing school stuff Julie didn’t feel like doing so she decides to hang out with Frank in the meanwhile, they’re on the lodge, bored, upset about the world cause it’s what teens do in their free time, listening to one of their mixtapes, probably Frank’s, the more hardcore one when the idea hit: what if they try some good mischief? “There’s a small banks a mile from here, want some adrenaline babe?” And oh of course she does, grab your mask, here we go

Sorry, not a big legs-drawing fan…

They grab their knives, put on the masks, get ready, drive to the bank. I didnt really think this part through, the song says it all. Long story short - they rob the bank, the police arrives, the action begins.

They brought their knives, didn’t expect the cops to show up with guns, damn they didnt even know little Ormond cops had actual guns. After long minutes of hiding on the bank safe the couple decides to fight their way out, they would be more useful alive than dead so laws could apply, but that went out of question once Frank stabbed the first bank employee on his triumphal way out, the police don’t think twice before shooting to protect the citizens inside.

Frank and Julie have too little time to react, the stress and anxiety kicks in, they go feral, crazy cinematic bullet avoids, for a moment it’s possible to get away. It all happened too quick, but in Julie’s vision it went slow motion. She just saw a cop leaning behind a car, aiming directly at Frank, even her fastest reaction wasn’t fast enough to stop the trigger from popping. With tears in her eyes she watches as the bullet hits her boyfriend right in the chest. 

She snaps. One target in mind, she sprints to the cop and stabs him over and over until she’s sure he won’t see the sun set ever again. She takes his gun and rushes towards Frank who is kneeling against a taxi holding his torax, she screams that they must go to the hospital immediately but he refuses, hospital would be just a quick stop on his way to jail. No fucking way. 

He demands to go back to the lodge, the cops are too busy helping their wounded partner to look for them, they think Frank may be dropped dead somewhere on the street after multiple shots, the two of them must flee before the cops realize the mistake and go hunting for them. NOW.

Julie side-carries Frank back to their car, the lack of a license of her own won’t stop her from driving as fast as the car can. Breathing heavily while constantly telling Frank to hold on, they will find a way out, they must do. Oh what a fucking stupid idea holy SHIT. 

The travel takes half the time it usually does and still feels like hours. The car gets all red with Frank’s blood that keeps leaking. Once they arrive, Frank wants to go upstair, Julie shouts at him to keep next the central campfire once he should grab some heat (and for god’s sake why is he still carrying the money bag they stole????), anyway he gets the last word and they climb the stairs up and lay on the bed, Frank hisses from the pain but also sighs in relief for the soft spot under him, ignoring Julie cursing besides him, saying she can still call an ambulance, she doesnt want to lose him, Suz and Joey will be devastated, although he just replies with the phrase they were saying sooner that day “They’ll never take us alive”.

After 20 minutes of agony, low whispers of memories of how they met, what they had been through together and a huge amount of blood moisturing the covers, Frank says he’s feeling light-headed, Julie looks at him and he’s paper white, the blood loss is finally getting to him, she wants to cry, scream, curse and stab that damn cop a hundred times again, but all she does is cuddle her head harder against his shoulder and tell him she loves him, that she will keep his legacy alive, with Joey and Susie, she will revenge him. He chuckles and slowly feels the life being drained from his weaked body until everything goes black.

Julie need a few seconds to process. Frank died. For real. He was good a few hours ago, he was right. They would never take them alive. Death could do them apart, but, he never said for how long they would be apart.

She reaches for the gun on the hand under Frank’s body. THAT DAMN GUN. She aims it to the side of her head, never leaving Frank’s side on the bed. Triggers it.

“Partners in crime”

Damn did I just write a fucking fanfiction? This shit is way longer than I expected, did anybody even get down here?

Well, this is the part of the drawing where i left cause I just couldn’t afford to work on it, have in mind everytime the file were opened the whole lore came in my head, and fuck did i feel dizzy writing it all down. Hell the bloody details get me, seeing Frank so white with a blue undertone simulating the lifeless body gave me headaches fr. My escape was drawing other things until the courage to finish it came back. It was easier because the story kinda faded away from my mind, the drawing became “lighter” to deal with.

Well, guess that’s it. I hardly have this big insight while drawing, to visualize the finished piece on my brain and it’s just so fucking cool, making art with so many mixed feelings along, and overall pride, cause i feel so proud with the result you have no idea. It isn’t perfect tho, but i like it anyway. So, thank you so much if you made it all the way here. gonna sleep now for fucks sake im gonna pass out bye

[ofmerrit]

*  ◜  kristine froseth  ,  cis  woman  &  she/her  ◞  *  according  to  school  records  ,  that’s  merrit  antonietta  unn  hornsby  walking  on  campus  grounds  with  their  usual  iced-americano  from  the ancient  grounds  cafe  .  they’re  known  for  their  long  ,  dark  blonde  locks  outshining  their  surprisingly  tall  figure   and  are  often  spotted  at   the  versailles  garden  reading  wild  geese  by  mary  oliver  .  almost  everyone  knows  their  family  is  worth  like  1.2  billion  dollars  ,  so  we  suspect  they’re  a  member  of   olympus   ,  you  know  ,  the  one  for  old   money  .  do  you  know  where  they  were  the  night  that  the  scholarship  student  died  ?  they  claim  they  were  touring  around  the  campus  for  inspiration  ,  must  be  an  architecture major  thing  ,  right  .  and  hey  ,  don’t  you  agree  that  the  sophomore  reminds  you  of  muffled  screams  into  silk  pillows  ,  the  bellyache  you  get  after  doing  something  wrong  &  vacant smiles ?  you  better  watch  out  h e s t i a  before  something  dangerous  happens  to  you  and  life  ends  at  twenty-two  .  *  ◜  barb  ,  twenty-two  ,  gmt +3  &  she / her  ◞  *

alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.

starting w the boring statistics :     full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby     nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc.     code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity.      star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising.     sexuality: bisexual.     favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver ,  an anthology .                                              “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,                                              are heading home again.                                              whoever you are, no matter how lonely,                                              the world offers itself to your imagination,                                              calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting                                              over and over announcing your place                                              in the family of things.”

merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more. 

the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.

life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.

doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao 

she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps.  kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf

personality stuff !!!

uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me 

can’t say no <3  if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .

the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip

LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth . 

an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??

loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .

extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3

likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.

i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk 

has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip

!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it

safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ??? 

UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !

connection ideas !!!

childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk 

penpals - seriously ???  i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.

a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.

betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )

exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .

bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk

saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step

a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .

a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know. 

ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward

these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that 

something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.

give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl