#she knows the agony of watching someone you love die and living on without them. she doesn’t want to do that to archie

[ayumigotabittoolonely]

𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙣

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Synopsis 💌 playlist- Trapped in Sukuna’s grasp for as long as they can remember, the reader seizes a rare opportunity to escape, only to collapse at the feet of Gojo, Geto, Shoko, Utahime, Nanami.Though suspicion lingers, they slowly become part of the group, finding solace and love especially in Gojo. But freedom is an illusion. Bound by an unbreakable curse known as A Promise, the reader is unknowingly still tied to Sukuna, a contract woven into their very soul. When Sukuna finally comes to reclaim what is his, he forces them into a cruel choice: return willingly, or watch their friends suffer. To protect the people they love, the reader invokes A Promise, binding themselves to Sukuna in exchange for their friends’ safety. As they are dragged back into the Abyss.

Episode 2 Strangers and Ghosts

Pain is the first thing you feel.

Not the dull, lingering kind, but a sharp, searing agony that drags you back into consciousness like a hook lodged in your ribs. Your breath stutters, throat raw, lungs aching. Everything hurts. Your arms, your legs, your very bones like something inside you has been crushed and rearranged in a way that isn't quite right.

The worst part isn't the pain. It's the feeling.

Sukuna is still there.

Not in the flesh, not standing over you with that sickening grin but in the way your skin burns with cursed energy that isn’t yours. It clings to you like invisible chains, pulsing, festering. You’re free, but you’re not. His mark is still on you, a brand that screams ownership.

You pry your eyes open.

The world is blurred, hazy shapes shifting above you. A sky. A real one. Clouded, dimly lit, but endless.

You made it out.

For a moment, all you feel is relief. The forest air is cold, the scent of damp earth grounding you. You're no longer trapped in that suffocating void, in the twisted corridors of his domain where the walls breathed and the shadows whispered.

Then, the voices reach you.

Low, tense murmurs.

You blink hard, trying to focus. There are figures standing around you five of them. Their energy is overwhelming, pressing down on you, heavy with suspicion. They’re on edge. Because of you.

Because you still reek of him.

Your heart slams against your ribs. Panic sets in like ice spreading through your veins. You try to move

But you can’t.

Not because of the pain. Not because your body refuses.

But because something else holds you down.

A force cursed energy.

You don’t need to see to know where it’s coming from.

A presence looms above you, crackling with restrained power. Even without his eyes visible, you feel him watching.

Satoru Gojo.

His cursed energy wraps around you, unseen but suffocating. It isn’t violent, not like Sukuna’s, but it’s overwhelming in its sheer intensity. He isn’t touching you, yet it feels like his hand is pressing against your chest, keeping you pinned.

You’re too weak to fight. Too exhausted to struggle.

So you just lie there, breathing raggedly, waiting for them to decide whether you live or die.

And then

"Oi- who the hell is that?"

Gojo’s voice is sharp, edged with something unreadable. You hear footsteps, slow and deliberate. Someone crouches beside you, close enough that you catch the faint scent of cigarettes.

“You’re awake.”

A female voice. Steady. Assessing.

Your gaze flickers sideways, landing on a girl with short brown hair and tired eyes. She’s watching you like you’re some kind of anomaly.

Shoko Ieiri.

Her hand presses lightly against your shoulder, a silent warning.

“Don’t move.”

You barely hear her. The panic is too loud.

Your eyes dart past her to the others. They stand in a loose semi-circle around you, all radiating restrained hostility.

Nanami Kento arms crossed, expression unreadable but sharp with calculation. Utahime Iori her stance tense, gaze flickering between you and the others, uncertain but wary. Geto Suguru silent, eyes dark with something you can’t quite name.

And Gojo.

Still standing above you, still pressing you down without lifting a finger.

The weight of their stares is suffocating.

And then Gojo speaks again, voice light but laced with something sharp.

“You reek of Sukuna.”

You flinch.

It’s not an accusation. It’s a fact. One that settles over the group like a storm cloud.

Your throat tightens. You want to speak, to explain, but how can you? How do you tell them what happened? That you were his prisoner, his plaything, trapped in his domain for what felt like eternity? That his cursed energy has woven itself into you so deeply you don’t know if you’ll ever be rid of it?

No. You can’t.

Because they don’t trust you.

Because, to them, you might be just another one of his creations.

Your hands clench into fists, dirt pressing into your palms.

You have to say something. Anything.

Your lips part, voice barely a whisper

“…Please.”

It’s all you can manage. Raw. Desperate.

Your vision blurs, exhaustion and fear mixing into something crushing. You force yourself to meet Gojo’s gaze or at least, the blindfold that hides it.

“Don’t send me back.”

Silence.

The tension is thick, suffocating.

No one moves. No one speaks.

Then a shift.

Gojo tilts his head, as if considering. His cursed energy flickers, the pressure on your body easing just slightly.

Shoko’s gaze softens. Just a fraction.

But the others?

Nanami doesn’t look convinced. Utahime’s lips press into a thin line. And Geto,Geto’s stare is unreadable, but the way his fingers twitch at his sides tells you he’s wary.

You swallow hard.

And then Gojo exhales, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well.” His voice is light, almost lazy, but there’s an edge beneath it. “This is a mess, huh?”

No one laughs.

Shoko rolls her eyes. “That’s an understatement.”

Nanami doesn’t relax. “We don’t even know what they are.”

What.

Not who.

You shudder.

Utahime folds her arms. “she could be a trap.”

A muscle in your jaw tightens. “I’m not.”

“Yeah?” Geto speaks for the first time, voice smooth but sharp. “And we’re supposed to believe that just because you say so?”

You grit your teeth.

He’s right.

You wouldn’t trust you either.

Gojo hums, tipping his head back. “Well, there’s one way to find out.”

Your stomach drops.

In the next breath his cursed energy flares.

A surge of overwhelming power, invisible but suffocating. It crashes over you like a tidal wave, pressing into every wound, every nerve.

You choke.

Your body seizes, barely holding together under the sheer weight of it.

He’s testing you.

Pushing, digging, waiting for something to snap.

And inside you something does snap.

Sukuna’s mark flares to life.

His cursed energy surges against Gojo’s, rising like an instinctive defense.

For a split second you swear you hear laughter.

It’s not yours.

Not Gojo’s.

Not anyone’s.

Your breath hitches. Your nails dig into your palms.

Gojo’s energy vanishes in an instant.

The moment it’s gone, you collapse forward, gasping for breath. Cold sweat drips down your spine. Your body trembles, exhaustion consuming you whole.

No one speaks.

Then Gojo lets out a low whistle.

“Well, shit.”

Silence.

Then, Geto sighs, rubbing his temple. “Great. So they are connected to him.”

Nanami’s fingers twitch, like he’s considering drawing his weapon. Utahime doesn’t move, but she’s visibly tense.

You squeeze your eyes shut, throat thick.

They’re going to kill you.

Or worse send you back.

The thought sends a bolt of terror through you.

You force yourself up, barely holding yourself together. You don’t know what else to say, don’t know how to make them believe you.

So you do the only thing you can.

You bow your head.

And you plead.

“…Please.” Your voice wavers, raw with exhaustion. “I don’t care what you do to me. Just just don’t send me back.”

You don’t know how long the silence lasts.

Then Gojo sighs, crouching down.

“Man,” he mutters, scratching his head. “You’re a real pain in the ass.”

For now.

You are not going back.

TO BE CONTINUED

Words count ~ 2340

@idsitonthat

[dreamwritersworld]

All too well. (Miles morales x reader)

Weather Miles knew it or not he was stabbing her right in the heart every time he made their relationship seem under wraps.

In front of everyone he refused to call their relationship what it was. Love. Not a childish relationship, at least not to Y/n.

Rio could see something was going on between the two. There wasn’t a day where she hadn’t dreamt of seeing Y/n in a wedding dress besides Miles, she was all too prefect. Y/n was practically the daughter she never had.

So Miles kept her close to his heart and he always got Y/n to return back into his arms but every time she did she felt shame, and he would just hold her lifeless frame. Their relationship was crowded, Gwen was stuck in the picture and the teenage boy was stuck between the two. He couldn’t imagine a life without either of them. Gwen gave him thrill and Y/n gave him comfort.

Both girls were spider-women except…Gwen wasn’t in their universe. She was gone and it had been months. Y/n remembered it all too well.

When arguments happened salty tears would fall from the two of them once they wrapped arms around each other, Miles breathed in her sweet candy scent wishing for it to smell like another. While y/n let tears fall knowing Miles imagined someone else with him. She didn’t trust herself, her body would always lead her back to the wrong things, him.

However…the patience of Y/n didn’t last longer. The night before everything went downhill they got into an argument…

It all started when we had came home from keeping watch on the city. Tonight wasn’t the best night, Miles was so distant and he refused to speak to me.

He spoke about me indirectly, I heard it.

“you’re just so irritable….”

I couldn’t ignore it, not this time. His frustration lighted a bottling flame waiting to ignite..

“I won’t ever understand you! You won’t even speak to me directly?! What am I supposed to do with that?!”

He turned around quickly, spoke irrational. Though I knew in some way or another he meant every word he said.

“If you were Gwen maybe I would’ve been just fine?!”

Hearing him say that made me want to die. Confirming something I denied for the longest. There was shuffling in my feet stepping backwards, my heart beginning to feel intense agony and the tears slipping from my eyes.

Miles couldn’t exactly see my face with my mask, but he knew what he had said cut deep.

“…we’re done.”

His hand reached out for me but all I could do was push him away. I fled immediately after, knocking into almost every building. My vision was disoriented since my eyes were flooding with tears.

That night I went to bed listening to my parents arguing in the living room, doing the same thing Miles and I had just done. Maybe it was for the better…maybe if I stayed I would’ve repeated the never ending cycle….

‘All’s wells, that ends well’ but Y/n was in a new hell every time he double crossed her mind. It goes without saying that the next day Y/n dreaded having to go to Jeff’s promotion party, but she would anyways because they were there for her big moments too…

My eyes felt swollen from the rough night and I couldn’t stop thinking about it all. Picking between the clothes and getting myself out of bed was difficult, this breakup felt final.

I took everything step by step and I took a deep breath walking into the party.

“Y/n! Hija you made it, I was getting worried!”

Rio rushed in giving me her nurturing love and all that hit was the fact that this will never happen as much. I wouldn’t allow myself to come over any more after this, not when I know I’d go back to him.

“Hi Mrs.Morales! Hi Mr.Morales-“

“Rio let Y/n breathe!…Cmon give me a hug kid!”

I did return that hug but all I could do was take the emotions in..

“Congratulations sir!”

once we were done with our greetings they turned my body quickly to the skylines of the city

“Isn’t it beautiful!…haha yea.”

The way Jeff had spoke sounded quick and awkward, he rushed my body to turn so fast.

“oh yea it is..”

Rio couldn’t just stand there and act like she didn’t see Y/n hurt regardless if she didn’t see the scene Jeff hid her from, she wanted to protect her but she wouldn’t lie to Y/n either.

“Oh princesa, lo siento.”

Confusión covered my face but inside hearing just that but not knowing why, I was so close to breaking down.

“What do you mean?”

Jeff looked to Rio with pleading eyes begging her to stop and Rio had a sense of genuine and a need to not hide something.

“Miles is with that girl Gwenda, I can’t lie to you Y/n. You’re just too sweet for me to lie. Just know that no matter how or why your relationship ended, no es por ti.”

My swollen eyes wanted to cry once more, I turned my body to the crime scene. He did talk to her the entire time in the beginning of our relationship…maybe did even worse. She came back now, and Miles was the one who ran to her the second we called it quits.

I knew based off the smile on his face, he’d never feel sorry for the way I hurt. He was showing her off just by simply bringing her and pulling her close…

The entire time Y/n was staring Jeff couldn’t believe his eyes, everything Rio had rambled about them being together and Y/n being in love, Miles loving her back but out of nowhere it only ever became halfway. It hurt seeing the pain that struck her eyes.

Jeff gave Y/n the biggest hug..

“If you want Y/n..you can pick out your food, eat and take a good nap on our couch before you head home.”

A small tear feel from Y/n’s eyes, all she could do was nod and walk away…

I’ve never doubted myself so much, I hate that I gave Miles power over that kind of stuff. At some point in our relationship it was always one step forward and three steps back.

Once I made it back down to their apartment I couldn’t nap, my body wouldn’t allow it. Something was telling me to go. So I did.

I closed the window and leaped onto building from building , trusting my body to lead me in the right direction. When I arrived there was a damaged building and a portal..no one was there and it hadn’t closed yet, so I jumped in..

!💓!

guys. please tell me yk the references.

Tag list: @justleila @tati-the-fangirl @kxllanxtdoor @abbersreads @abislays123 @not-aya @usernamepasswordsstuff @moralesluvrr @inluvwithneteyam @twinkletwinklenotastar @ilystarz @vodoo-heart @papichulo120627 @mashiromochi @frogsandmoss @laylasbunbunny

[culiehua]

Imagine: our beloved shadowhunters in a vampire diaries S4x22/23 type of scenario where the veil between the living and the dead falls and chaos ensues

angry dead people are back for unifinished business with the mcs, you name it, they face it

(hint hint it's terrible)

magnus & co. are looking for a way to bring it back up but it's difficult enough without the now corporeal walking dead terrorists

the veil separates the living and the ghosts of those who are not ready to move on but also other supernatural whatnots

meaning that demons frequently infiltrate the other side bc it's a parallel dimensional death realm but usually rarely find weaknesses in the veil to cross over (and be killed by "stupid hot people")

but the whole thing is gone so demons are flooding everywhere and it is not that great

because the dead can now become tangible again (if they want to that is), they do that, e.g. Valentine and his posse go for Clary, and there are just so many

(we'll get back to them)

Meanwhile in London, Yanluo has crawled his way into Cirenworth because demons can hold grudges forever and he still has quite the bone to pick with Wenyu, Yiwen and Elias' blood (i.e. Jem holds the #1 spot in his deathnote (yes yanluo has a deathnote in canon myth even though it works a bit differently))

and why give up such ample opportunity for petty revenge?

nobody at the Carstairs home knows what is going on however (Tessa is with Magnus in New York)

so Mina is ripped out of her cradle in the middle of the night and held hostage until Jem hears her cry

listen. my chinese violin man has seen some shit

in his long (but not as long as it could have been) life he has spent more time flirting with his death than most and seems practically unflappable atp

but this is a nightmare he's never been able to completely get over (because watching your parents die while being tortured is traumatic™)

so jem is restrained and absolutely terrified to his core bc this cannot be happening again

fate has a really fucked up sense of humor, he thinks

history repeating itself was not on his bingo card and he is not sure if it's him or his sweet sweet baby girl that is going to croak. After all that effort to stay alive

and he prays to the angel it's him. Anyone but little love Mina, and he wonders, distantly, if his mother had felt the same way when she died

(The anguish and agony forever carved into his memory and onto her face tell him she would have)

Yanluo's ready to strike and poison him again but instead get's flung to the other side of the hall

(no minas were harmed in this scene)

things are moving too fast for him to see but in his injury induced haze he swears he hallucinates the image of his mother reaching for him before passing out

when he wakes up again it's to a destroyed foyer and his crying baby in his Kit's arms who looks a lot worse for wear

so the fight had been real. he definitely didn't imagine that

But he soon comes to the realization that he must have imagined his mother in someone else's stead, coming to protect him. How pathetic of him. He'd have to thank them later.

He hasn't spotted the unsheathed Jian coverd in ichor on the left side of the room yet.

For a couple of minutes he takes deep breaths. It was over.

He's as calm as he could get under his circumstamces

But it's Kit's disgruntled throwaway comment that shatters all semblance of peace he's found

"What the heck? Wenyu never told me she could fight like that!"

(amidst it all, young brown eyes and golden ones meet over Kit's shoulder)

Back in New York, a desperate redheaded girl was surprised to see another pair of green eyes joining the chaos and helping her fight off Valentine

and maybe, though she'll never admit it to anyone but herself, a long standing heavy weight was now off her shoulders after this day

(and if she felt lighter than she has in a long time, nobody had to know.)

[manawari]

AU in which you become an immortal and unable to feel any pain if your 'soulmate' dies. However, if they have been reborn in the next timeline, they will have no memories of the person who was destined to them in the past. You return to being a mortal once your soulmate falls in love with you again.

Jinhae — Hae-in lost her life in the battle with the monsters during the war with the Monarchs. Jin-woo was heartbroken and mad, blaming himself for not saving Hae-in unlike before. He saved the world, but not his world. Even as the Chalice of Rebirth has been used, Jin-woo remained immortal as he already was, living in the newfound world where nobody would have to die or suffer anymore. Jin-woo had a chance to treat the universe as his realm, as the human world would no longer need him, but he stayed nonetheless — he needed Hae-in the most.

Minlee — Byung-gyu died amidst the Jeju raid. Ju-hee wondered why she couldn't feel an ounce of pain after accidentally touching hot water. Her mother told her that her soulmate had bit the dust. Ju-hee somehow couldn't believe why she was crying over someone whom she never even met, but sooner, she realized that she lost the person whom she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. War had torn their fates apart from intertwining.

Heeseok — when news broke out that one of South Korea's most powerful hunters had bitten the dust, Hee-jin felt like her world crumbled into ashes. She ignored the concerned looks from the hunters when they witnessed her get injured without wincing in agony. They realized she had lost her soulmate, but Hee-jin didn't want to talk about it; she could only hold on the hope of seeing Eun-seok someday even if it meant it would take her an eternity.

Sungpark — when Il-hwan died, that was the last time Kyung-hye felt pain. Knowing about the whole thing of soulmates, she waited for years and years to cross paths with her husband, willing to wait for a hundred more as she already did when he first disappeared, all while comforting her son, who carried the empty space Hae-in had left in his soul.

Choibaek — Jong-in died protecting Yoon-ho from explosive attacks from the monsters. Yoon-ho desperately tried to save him and the healers did their best to heal the hunter, but it was too late. Yoon-ho mourned and lived with a broken heart, the most excruciating years in his life, watching days go by without his firefly next to him. The only time he would find happiness was when he found Jong-in, and Yoon-ho swore to not lose him again.

Woozhi — Zhigang was there at Jin-chul's funeral. The handsome, stoic man who caught his eye at the USA. He wondered how their life could've went if Jin-chul had not mounted on the plane by his own. A lot of what if's, but none managed to heal Zhigang's heart as he waited and made a place in Korea, growing tired of his immortality and praying for his soulmate to pull him out of his 'curse'.

Taenoru — Minoru got killed during a severe dungeon break in Tokyo. Tae-gyu didn't know why he was even affected by the news, he barely interacted with Minoru at all, so why would he care? Turns out, he did. As he began to outlive his guild members, Tae-gyu wondered how things could've been if he listened carefully into what else his heart wanted.

[bonesandthebees]

rhaenicent! rhaenicent! rhaenicent! One of the very few things that kept me engaged with the 5 episodes of house of Dragon I did watch (the combination of Cole being like THAT and the very sudden time skip threw me off so badly I stopped watching during ep 6 (but my mom still gave me all the plot updates).

Anyway, I love this au! I love when people really dig into the worldbuilding and figure out what would be affected by the changes. Having no Targaryens means Otto can’t work his way up to the right hand of the king as easily (or does not deem it worth the effort since it’s way smaller a country). But he still tries to get his daughter married to a royal anyway. (And it’s really fucked up that he tells her this her entire live, like she’s not even officially engaged, there’s no signed contract, he’s just that confident in his own ability to marry off his daughter.)

But it makes sense that Alicent is so brainwashed that it’s not only normal to her, she’s comforted by it. As long as she knows she’ll marry someone her own age, she’s fine with being married off. The prospects are good after all. And she feels no attraction to either of them, so she does not care which son it ends up being.

The thing that throws her off, isn’t having to marry, it’s the combination of her secure future being changed so easily without her having any control over it as well as the fact that this king is very old (which poor canon Alicent btw). Tbf, I think the age throws her more since she can kinda see the logic of why he is the ‘best’ option (essentially, her father could get his blood on the throne a generation earlier, provided that both other sons die before being crowned). It gives her immediate sway over the crown.

But while bearing the children of the younger man didn’t bother her, she knows bearing the king’s children would be an actively unpleasant experience. Thus she is incredibly stressed about the very idea of it (mainly because she knows her father is considering it, and while he has yet to confirm or arrange anything, she has clearly already figured out the advantages on her own and knows it to be something her father would take).

And yet, when Rhaynyra points out that she could refuse, Alicent insists that she is bound by duty (and the sexism). Again, my girl is brainwashed. She has to do this, no matter how unenjoyable it would be, for her family, to protect her family, to empower her family because her father said so who said that? Not me.

Anyway, this is getting long, so moving on to another ask.

(1/?)

-🌲

spruce do you know how excited I got when this popped in my inbox I forgot you've seen some hotd so I wasn't expecting to hear from just about any of my regulars about the fic but I'm !!! rn (also that's very fair for dropping off, I am waiting with bated breath every episode hoping crispin cole dies in horrible agony I hate him so much)

honestly a big reason why I wanted to write this was because of all the changes to the world I'd get dig into if the targaryens never went on their conquest. Otto is in a very different position in this world since he's not the Hand of the King, and instead just kind of helps his brother run things in Oldtown. but also because the Reach is a much smaller kingdom and the Hightowers have such a close relationship with the Gardeners, as a family they have a higher standing. that's why Otto already knows he'll be able to arrange a marriage for Alicent from the day she's born. the Hightowers themselves are practically Reach royalty in this world. not to mention, the Hightowers are the lords of Oldtown, which in the canon asoiaf universe is the largest and richest city in all the Seven Kingdoms. so in this au where the Reach is it's own kingdom, Oldtown is a huge center of power and influence.

the thing about Alicent is that although she is much more okay with the idea of marrying someone her own age, I think if she ever had actually gotten to her wedding day with one of the princes then she would've started feeling similar anxiety and dread. not as much as she's feeling over the idea of marrying the King, but she wouldn't be as calm having to actually confront the idea of having a husband and all the duties that come with that (I am a lesbian Alicent truther I will die on that hill). however, this fear was greatly sped up and multiplied with the knowledge that instead of marrying a handsome boy her own age who she would at least have some things in common with, instead she is going to marry a man more than twice her age. and like you pointed out, there's also the aspect that her future has changed so suddenly without her having even the slightest bit of agency over it. she's always known she doesn't have any control of her own life, but this is a really stark reminder of that fact.

and Alicent is smart. she's Otto Hightower's daughter for a reason. she can immediately see and understand the political implications and what her father's strategy is. there is no reason for her father not to make the switch and marry Alicent to the king, except if he were to consider Alicent's feelings on the matter. which Alicent already knows he will never do. and Alicent has been raised to believe this is normal. this is how the world should work. this is what her duty is as a daughter. poor girl :(

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hello! It's Winter! Some sadness coming your way.

Without

Since the moment he entered their private residence, he had been suspiciously quiet. His behaviour was so unusual that she wondered what he could possibly be hiding. If he was having problems at work, he would have confided in her. They didn’t keep secrets from each other. It was their golden rule. 

Brigitte took a seat next to Emmanuel, relaxing in his arms as he welcomed her in, scooting over on the couch. “What’s wrong? And don’t tell me it’s nothing. I know you better than anyone.” 

He sighed knowing he could never get anything past her. That was the problem (or blessing?) in being completely in sync with a person. 

“I’m scared,” he confessed, saying the word so quietly she wasn’t sure if she heard him correctly. 

“Of what?” Brigitte nestled closer to his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat. Why was he withholding information from her? Had he been threatened? Were their lives in danger? 

“One day, one of us won’t be here anymore,” Emmanuel’s voice cracked as he spoke, addressing the harsh reality head-on. 

Where was this coming from?  

“Well, solely based on my age, I’ll be the one to go first.” She shrugged her shoulders, curious as to why he was bringing this up. 

Emmanuel grabbed her hands, gripping them so tightly that it was almost painful for her. “That’s the thing - I can’t live without you. I can’t, Brigitte. You don’t understand. I can’t even go an hour without calling you because I need to hear your voice. When we’re miles apart, I watch videos on my phone just to see your beautiful face. I wouldn’t be able to survive if I couldn’t hold you, touch you, kiss you or make love to you anymore. There would be no point in living.” 

Brigitte was irritated, “Stop that right now. Just stop it! There’s no point worrying about the future. Let’s just enjoy the time we have together. We must live in the present.” 

Of course, age didn’t guarantee that she would be the first one to die. Something tragic could happen to him at any given moment, leaving her a widow. Plane crashes, car accidents, and random acts of violence were all possible in his line of work. 

She lifted his chin before kissing his lips. “Listen to me, Emmanuel, you will be there for our children and grandchildren. You will continue to live your life to the fullest. You will be happy. Eventually, you’ll meet someone new and she will love you just as much as I do…did. And you’ll love her right back.”

“No!” He was practically screaming at her, “I don’t want that! I will never remarry. You don’t understand, I don’t want anyone else! I want you to live forever!” 

He was being unreasonable. “That isn’t how life works!” She jumped off his lap and stood in front of him. “You’re too special not to share your life with someone else. And I wouldn’t care who you married, as long as they treated you and our family with respect. Never stop living your life.” 

“Stop it!! Stop saying that. Brigitte…” Tears were streaming down his face. “…please don’t leave me.” 

After hearing the deep-rooted agony in his voice, her heart broke into a million pieces. Calmly, she stroked his face, “One of us will leave the other, but you need to stop thinking about it right now. Worrying won’t solve or fix anything. It will just steal the time we have together.” 

He nodded because she was right. 

“If I pass away first, will you remarry?” Emmanuel asked, not knowing if he wanted to hear her answer. 

Without hesitation, she replied, “Of course! Didier would love my children like they were his own.” 

“BRIGITTE!!!!! I’m being serious,” he rolled his eyes, playfully nudging her shoulder. 

“Fine! Do you want the truth? I’m glad I’m older than you because I wouldn’t be able to live without you either and that scares me. I have always been an independent person, constantly telling my children their mother didn’t need anyone, but quite frankly, that isn’t true. Because I need you the way everyone needs air. You’re my oxygen, Emmanuel.” 

“And you’re my everything, Brigitte.” 

Hellooo Winter! ❤️

Oh noooo! The sad subject... ����

But taking it lightly... Emmanuel watching videos on his phone when he’s away from Brigitte hahaha cute! Ans I volunteer Emmanuel, you can remarry with me 🤭😂

The Didier line, love it! 😂

Thank you so much, Winter! ❤️❤️❤️

[zoronadotatanado]

Crescendo in the Clouds Finale

Theme: SIGNALIS - Die Totensinsel (Emptiness)

Leleni and Zoronado didn't take their eyes off their surroundings after that ambush. They avoided flying too close to the bottom of the islands as well, lest they fly too close to another nest. Now it was just bright empty skies from here on out, circling back toward Camp Cloudtop to prevent getting lost out here. It wasn't until a bell or two later did Leleni realize her big hat was missing, lost during the evasive maneuvers Zoronado performed back there. Not that it mattered; the sun would set soon anyroad.

"What is that…?" Zoronado muttered out loud. Leleni shifted to the other side of the ship to see what he was looking at. Instead of some new and dangerous cloudkin swooping down to attack them again, she saw twinkling lights on the side of a floating island; she pulled out her binoculars to get a better look, and her heart fluttered in her throat!

"Wao…!" She yelped, tapping Zoronado on the shoulder excitedly. "That's it! The Amu Amu flower!!!" He didn't need to be told– he tapped the accelerator and steered the airship around, getting close enough to the island to scrape the paint off. Leleni pulled out her shears and snatched half a dozen flowers, dropping them onto the seat. "I get it now…" She whispered while they sped back to the safety of the open sky. "We couldn't find any yesterday because they only bloom at night… and way up here, no less!"

"Good thing I decided to surprise you with this ship then…!" Zoronado smiled, his chest swelling with pride. Leleni was elated, finding some seeds amongst her harvest that would prove handy with the special soil back at Heartwood. She placed her hands on his shoulder and leaned around him, planting a wet smooch on his perfectly round cheek.

"My hero…!" She beamed, watching him turn as red as Dalamud again. His heart pounded against his chest from his reward, and he couldn’t stop smiling. In just a summer and a half they went from respectable friends to inseparable partners, growing closer and closer to each other with every passing day. It was a far cry from when they first started exploring Eorzea together– just two foreigners with an unquenchable thirst for adventure. Zoronado remembered those days well; he was polite, courteous and, most of all, he kept his distance and they respected each other’s personal space. They may be close together now, even considered lovers, but the truth is Zoronado has always felt this way.

From the first time he laid eyes upon her maiden face during his coronation into becoming a fully recognized Bulwark Knight, he knew she was all he would ever yearn for: her soft, plump, and reddening cheeks, with golden locks cascading down the sides of her round face, and eyes shimmering brighter than polished jade. He was smitten instantly– an infatuation of the woman he was being sworn in to protect that only grew stronger and harder to contain. Zoronado was torn between his duty as her champion knight and his love only a man could harbor for a woman. Acting as her shadow and being her sword and shield back on Kol’din was harder than he ever imagined, not because of the dangers beyond, but the struggles within. His heart would flutter every time she called his name, his knees would grow weak and weary whenever she gazed into his eyes, and when she would place his hand on his shoulder as they walked, he swore he would burst into flame.

Being hopelessly in love with Princess Leleni Nar Leni was agony. It was an acute misery that was difficult to describe, and even more difficult to ascertain. Deep in the depths of his soul he knew he couldn’t live without seeing her smile, without her relying on him for protection. It didn’t take long for him to decide to forgo retirement in forty summers– that would mean an arranged marriage with a woman he didn’t know and couldn’t possibly treat right, for his heart already belonged to someone else. Walking Leleni down the aisle to an arranged marriage of her own was a special solemn sadness, especially with the knowledge of what would happen next. When Zoronado was guarding the bed chambers as the princess and her new husband consummated their marriage, he was enduring a desperate and helpless loneliness he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemies. 

That was then, and this is now. If Leleni could contact her mother and get her father, King Fafasasho, to void her wedding vows, perhaps Zoronado would have a chance at true happiness. He wanted nothing more to be there for her in her every hour of need, with a devotion to her safety that transcended the bounds of his training. He was a swirl of emotions most of the time– from guilt to greed, lust to shame, love to repulsion. Every fiber of his being told him not to pursue Leleni, for he was trained to close his heart to her, lest he succumb to his desires and bring dishonor to his name and position. However that was when he was a Bulwark Knight; now he was just a man.

“Love is the death of duty.” 

Truer words have never repeated in his head as many times as these. Yet even though he has been stripped of his titles and achievements, and Leleni stripped of her birthright and claim to the throne, he could not, would not, take her to bed. Every time his carnal urges came creeping up in the back of his mind, he felt only disgust and shame for it. He was a man with needs, that much is plain, but Leleni was more than that. She deserved better than that. He may no longer be a Bulwark Knight but he couldn’t shake all of his conditioning; he couldn’t allow himself to succumb to such weakness, not until they were married, not unless they were married. For now they would just… remain close– and that would be the end of it.

The ship was on its way back to Camp Cloudtop, taking the scenic route at the top of the world. The sun had vanished beneath the canopy of the clouds by now, plunging the sky into darkness until the moon revealed herself, with all of the stars to keep her company. “Zoronado…” Leleni finally spoke after they flew in silence for so long. Zoronado blinked when she lifted up his arm from the steering lever and crawled into his lap. He was stunned and speechless, watching her with wide eyes and a pounding heart.

“I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t chosen you as my champion.” Leleni settled into his lap and smiled warmly, staring deep into his eyes with a blushing face steeped in still moonlight. “Thank you for always being there for me… you really are my closest and best friend…” His heart split in half and he half-blinked a few times. In just a single day he went from being precious, to hero, back down to friend. Friend… that’s all he was to her, in the end. Perhaps that was for the best. “And I know I can be really difficult to be around, especially when I’m… well… angry and accusatory. But I wanted to let you know that… well… I’m really glad you got to see my face first, before Nonobira… with one word I could have had you executed for breaking one of our most sacred traditions but… I’m really, truly glad I didn’t. You’re a good man, Zoronado. The best man I could ever hope for.”

Zoronado couldn’t breathe. He could feel the heat radiating from his face at her words, and once again he was getting blindsided by a mixture of emotions. He opened his mouth to speak but the words snagged in his throat. Fear of offense or ruining the moment constricted his neck and forced him to just stare awkwardly at her, but neither dared look away. Leleni didn’t say anything else for what felt like ages, her face completely red from embarrassment, with her eyes occasionally dropping down to his lips. “Zoronado…” She whispered, gently cradling his cheeks in her hands. 

Then she closed her eyes, leaned forward, and pressed her warm lips against his own. Zoronado felt like he was suddenly engulfed in fire as time slowed to a standstill. He felt his stomach rising up into his chest, adrift in this moment he so desperately wanted to last forever. It wasn’t until the wind began to howl did both Leleni and Zoronado open their eyes to realize the airship was falling! 

“Ouuugh…!!!” She broke their tender kiss to cling to him helplessly, while he scrambled to grab the steering levers and pull them toward him, leveling out the airship once again. Both Lalafells exchanged shameful glances at each other amidst their laborious breathing, with Leleni eventually slipping from his lap to settle behind him once again. They didn’t say anything else for the rest of their journey home.

[assclappee]

sometimes when I think about god, or about church when people do their testimonies and they're story is like "I was raped for 6 years from the ages 7 to 13, every night he would sneak into my room and..." or how they knew god was real when their rainbow baby got their umbilical cord tied around their neck and almost died in the womb, but they got it out just in time, and I'm like damn.

because why would they let that happen? Who would allow that to happen, if they really loved everyone. It would be heartbreaking to watch your children go through that, and I'm sure it is, but it would be soul-shattering to let that go on and think to yourself "it's for the greater good", or "I have to let them go through this so that they'll be able to do XX later or have this knowledge later on" because why can't they just come to the realization, or find out, or know how to do this or that for that situation themselves?

and I'm sure there are people that argue that "well without sadness in life, there is no happiness" and I totally 100% agree with that, but why does it always have to be so severe? Why does your mother have to suffer terminal pancreatic cancer, slowly having her body degrade over the years or months she has left? And why do you have to watch your adult child start to form early dementia or alzheimers and you have to help them and their partner take care of your grandchildren? Why isn't getting a concussion and meeting or seeing god enough? Is it too much to just have an awful tummy ache, or to have been in a terrible, eye-opening car crash with your lover to turn you to your god? Can good not cause that? Why is it always the fatal, or near-fatal, experience that has to do the trick? Why can't having a rainbow baby be good enough?

all of this to say that I think it is a cruel thing to make your children suffer horrible, degrading, soul-shattering things just to say that they follow you now and will be with you once they die. But not the 5 year old that was kidnapped, raped, and murdered. She didn't know christ, so she went to hell. Tough luck I guess. A truly loving, caring god who just wants what's best for us shouldn't care or give a damn whether or not someone had even been in a church or not. Those researchers who found a cure to cancer were just killed in warfare in the middle east, but they're going to hell because they were muslim. Oh, but the soldiers that killed them are going to heaven, they were christian. They and their families went to church or mass every Sunday and Wednesday, and never skipped. Good, respectable people, a shame they had to be the ones to do it.

It just makes no sense sometimes. Why would you blame this AWFUL, grueling experience with the human world on a ever-so loving and caring god? It makes them seem manipulative.

"God KNEW this was going to happen to me, and had a plan" ok well that doesn't solve the fact that you watched your parents be shot in front of you, you couldn't have found the solution to world hunger on your own, without the loss of your whole village? It makes it sound so manipulative, "I am going to put these people through so much pain and agony in order for them to realize that they should be dedicating their lives to me, and then they will receive the eternal, most valuable gift of all, to live here alongside me" like what?? That doesn't sound loving, caring, gentle, patient, or kind at ALL.

I just don't get it. Why can't we, if we love them and trust them so much, blame our choosing to trust and put our faith in this supposed spirit and dedicate our lives to it on good things? Why does it always have to be bad?

[lakesbian]

my loose notes on this subject:

it is absolutely insane how wildbow writes him rapidly developing what is essentially dubiously-written DID for an arc and then being effectively cured of it via being forced thru "the power of love" to admit that he was just faking/deluding himself

i wouldn't describe the infante as an "alter" in the same way e.g. evette is more comparable to one--he seems to be written to have less of a conscious presence and is more along the lines of the "scary hallucination tells mentally ill person to kill someone and they succumb to The Voices" trope. although if we do see it as more alter adjacent that's also horrendous, perhaps moreso

i think it's particularly bizarre and cheap storytelling how sy's end-stage jokerisms involve him spontaneously becoming a serious danger to the lambs, because it directly contradicts a more interesting thorough line we saw earlier in the novel: that sy's mind is fundamentally built around the lambs, and their pain or injury is genuinely life-threateningly psychologically devastating to him. one of the most interesting conflicts in the earlier half of twig is between sy's agony over the idea of hurting or leaving the lambs & his mental inability to tolerate having to stick around and watch them die. it's fantastic how it culminates in the scene where it's clear how much shooting mary in the knee devastates him. i think the depiction of his mental illness where he's sitting in below-freezing temps and talking to himself for hours because he straight up does not know how to live without any lambs is far more truthful to the core of his character than "his hallucinations yelled at him so now he's blacking out and stabbing his disposable trans girlfriend." for me a more interesting direction to take this character arc would be him still increasingly struggling with erratic/dangerous (to himself or others) impulses without becoming, you know, the joker--and then going on to struggle perhaps even more with the ensuing paranoia and self-loathing over the idea of hurting the lambs or ruining his & jessie's plans. i could see him having delusional episodes akin to the moment where he sits on the stairs for like 48 continuous hours--times when he's unmoored enough from reality and very scared/(falsely!) convinced that he's done something awful or will do something awful, and he responds by taking up a "don't move and i can't break anything" mindset that extends to the point of unintentional self-harm. there's interesting ways you could spin his set of Issues but what's actually in the book isn't it!!!

at one point there's a scene written from the perspective of his fray hallucination where it fakes you out on thinking the real fray is back in the narrative, and that's absolutely insane. i get wildbow was trying to disorient us, but it's absolutely nuts as a writing decision. she's not even interacting w sy, she's viewing him from a distance. it's written like the hallucination is an evil ghost from a horror movie haunting him.

and that becomes the big thing as the book goes on--he goes from having wyvern-exaggerated but plausible and meaningful mental health struggles to being haunted by The Mental Illness Ghosts from A Horror Movie Coming To A Theater Near You. and aside from being obviously blatantly ableist, it undercuts the appeal of getting to watch how his mind develops over the course of his coming of age novel. i don't wanna watch him getting ominous prophecies from his evil murder hallucinations that are gonna possess him and make him serial kill, i wanna see how his experiences affect his personality and relationships as he grows up!!!

Re: recommendations about Twig, could you elaborate on the “actively insidious stuff” part? I feel like everyone I’ve seen talking about this book has different explanations of what absolutely doesn’t work for them/is objectively terrible, and I’m trying to get more context.

Not sure if you're asking as someone who hasn't read it before, but my answer will include pretty comprehensive spoilers.

The two biggest things that come to mind are the later uses of Jessie and what it implies about what the story sees as an acceptable way to treat trans women, and the endgame writing of Sylvester's mental conditions where it turns him into da joker. The former's been discussed at length, I'll include some of my thoughts on the latter here.

There's things that you can criticize about the depictions of Sy's mental conditions from pretty early on, but a lot of it I was able to enjoy on a craft level. While arc 14 is where a lot of the problems with how Jessie gets sidelined begins, and it had a lot of wheel-spinning action that felt unmotivated, I did really like a lot of the depictions of how Sy was seeing the lambs in his head, how they were taking over and arguing with themselves, his real panic when he wasn't able to picture their faces. It was good stuff! Questionable stuff, but entertaining! Hell, that stuff ended up being the most entertaining parts of a lot of the later arcs; his vision of Mauer ordering him to survive and take vengeance after blacking out from a firebomb is a piece I still remember vividly even though I can't remember anything much else about that section. The way his mental state is handled in the Hackthorn arcs are....mixed; I enjoyed much of the stuff depicting him not being sure whether people were real or remembering what he did, but it wasn't really able to consistently hit the right notes on that. The stuff about him just committing random acts of violence is a point of dissatisfaction here; while there's sections where Sy himself not being sure whether he's done something horrible helps build a satisfying sense of disorientation for the reader, there's other parts (mostly the parts with confirmed real acts of random violence) that just seem trite. Its worth exploring the headspace of people who don't really trust themselves, its worth exploring the lives of people who have horrible and sometimes irresistible impulses, but the whole "my mental illness means I'm taken over by a cold and calculating serial killer" thing is bottom-of-the-barrel storytelling.

As such, the Infante alter is where Sy's arc really loses me. I do kind of like the idea of Sy not being able to grow up in the usual way and having to essentially rewire his mind with Wyvern yet again to become the mature version of himself, but the execution just wasn't there. I don't really think wildbow had a consistent idea on what to do with him: a bundle of violent impulses? A paranoid manipulator who wants to enjoy all the power of a noble? Basically Sy with all his affection for his friends but scary now? It's frustrating how I largely enjoyed the epilogues, with the glaring exception of the chapter that explores what happened to the damn main characters. And one of the main problems in that chapter is the unclear signalling around Lord Simon.

[chryzure-archive]

ChrysiArchie rant you say…? 👀👀

YES, OKAY, SO.. this is a little bit of world-building / just general storyline stuff i’ve added, and i’m putting them in random bullet points, so if they don’t make sense… alas <//3 but i’ve been thinking abt them sooo hard even though i haven’t even gotten to archie in my reread yet (i think i’ll die when i see him again, fr!!!), SO:

on selene, it’s… semi-normal for you to take on a consort in a marriage. it happens a lot if it’s an arranged marriage (as is chrysi’s with her fiancé, who i have been thinking will be elias bloom for extra fury and helplessness :)), so in an attempt to find any hope in her future, chrysi chooses jacks to become her legal consort. obvi he jumps on this chance bc it’s THE only way for him to be with her, but okay. we move.

vaguely related to that… chrysi was technically “arranged” to marry azure waaaaay back before she’d even been shipped off to the pole. she was the executioner and he was some noble (forgive me, my world-building hasn’t gotten this far ;;; i was thinking w chryzure soulmate brain instead of writer-brain

anywayyy, azure dies :) and UGHHH, ophelia learns allll about chrysi and her tragic past through the engagement ring set azure gave chrysi :((( she didn’t mean to read the past in the objects, but she touched it and chrysi’s grief was so overwhelming that it dragged her into reliving chrysi’s pain over losing azure… and later going deeper into the rings’ memories to see how much azure truly loved chrysi. it kills me inside. it shocks ophelia, since chrysi seemed to give her heart so wholly to archie. lots of things going on there.

that follows up w a scene between chrysi and ophelia, where chrysi talks abt soulmates… and bc in the mirror visitor series, the population doesn’t believe in god anymore (…. except the god they talk of isn’t even god, it’s a woman named eulalia gonde, and her name has been mispronounced and warped into “god”. sorry, that’s a major spoiler, but we move, okay), chrysi goes on to say, “i don’t know if i believe in a god like the ancients did, but i do believe there was some higher divinity that made azure for me and i for him. everything about our love was ordained. i could believe in a god with him at my side.” SOBBING. IMAGINE BEING ARCHIE WALKING IN ON THAT AND FINDING OUT THAT CHRYSI HAD A WHOLE ENTIRE SOULMATE BEFORE SHE DEDICATED HERSELF TO ARCHIE AFTER AZURE’S DEATH. I’M GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW UP.

also, vaguely related to that: on selene, i’ve decided that even though religion has moved away from the concept of a “god”, they do still have saints that they worship (esp since they’re such a dreamlike people, it makes sense to me??? but also i wanted jacks to still swear by using the saints’ names hehe)—and that chrysi, as the current executioner, has gained such a foothold in politics (on accident), that she’s on her way to becoming a saint. even jacks, when she takes him on as a consort (after she left archie and archie… kinda left her too, unintentionally), will whisper that she’s his saint alone and he doesn’t want to share her. also he calls her “saint chryseis” bc. i want to have some chrysijacks crumbs in this universe, okay.

since selene is highly inspired by venice as well, i figured the combination of the arts and religion being so deeply ingrained in the arts leads to a reasonable assumption that selene would still be more religious than the rest of the arks. …. yeah :)

….anyway, unrelated, archie shows up during chrysi’s engagement party. we’ve been over this. he doesn’t realize it’s chrysi’s engagement party at first though???? and when he sees chrysi walk up to elias bloom + he sees that she’s taken off all of her rings so elias bloom can put his singular stupid fucking trophy ring on chrysi’s finger, archie feels such a sense of horror that he doesn’t know how to explain.. then he realizes, oh, he loved how much chrysi was independent, even though it frightened him a little bit, how little he understood her… :((

elias bloom is the one that dies unexpectedly :) on that same night where chrysi’s washing the blood off her hands and archie shows up mid-hand wash and chrysi’s terrified and confused by her spotty memory :) both archie and jacks are thrilled chrysi’s no longer engaged to that bastard, but it’s pretty obvious that this doesn’t look good for proving her innocence.

anyway, also jumping to another point: chrysi never let archie use his ability of transparency on her bc she was frightened that if he did, he would feel her pain and realize that she was sick and dying. she didn’t want him to grieve her while she was still alive. well, jokes on her, bc archie’s also dying, but you know. whatever.

that said… their happy ending is him using his powers to create their own little communion of souls (pretentious, but it is kinda a romantic concept. i hate him) and they’re finally no longer hiding any secrets from each other + now they trust each other… they make me want to gnaw on drywall.

[leviackermansbrat]

Prologue

Masterlist

Various KNY x Fem! OC

Warning: Graphic violence and blood. Mature content later in the series.

Gaia knew there was no way she would make it out alive. She had come to terms with it and accepted her fate with sadness, but ultimately with understanding. What she couldn't accept however, was watching the people she loved be slaughtered yet again.

There was nothing she could do.

Again.

"GAIA!" Tanjiro screamed, watching in horror as the upper moon demon kicked the young girl with such force that she went flying into the nearest tree.

Several cracks were heard which made Tanjiro's eyes water, not catching any movement from his friend.

He couldn't watch the girl's fight any longer. Tanjiro struggled to stay conscious as he was battling the lower moon demon Rui. The water hashira, Giyu, was doing his best to aid Gaia but ultimately both were severely injured while the two demons remained virtually unharmed.

Rui made his way over to Tanjiro, Nezuko still bound by the tight threads above their heads. As Rui extended his arm to unleash his threads for the last time, Gaia opened her eyes just in time to watch the young boy die.

"NO!" Gaia sobbed, rushing towards the boy, her body protesting in absolute agony.

Before Gaia could reach the young Kamado, she was thrown back but the upper moon and looked to her right seeing Giyu sprawled out on the ground next to her unmoving.

The tears would not stop falling as the young girl prayed for her end to come so that it would be all over.

Gaia tried to desperately crawl back over to Tanjiro to at least hold his hand once more but her vision began to blur. She willed herself further, but as she finally reached Tanjiro, a sharp pain went through her torso making her cry out in pain.

The last image the girl saw was Tanjiro's lifeless eyes staring at her, blood dripping from his slightly open mouth and his pained expression.

She failed. Again.

Her vision faded along with the warmth from her body as Gaia took her last breath and descended into darkness on Mount Natagumo.

Gaia woke up and took in the dark sky, already comprehending her surroundings. A tear slid down her face as she recalled the events from her previous lives.

She promised herself she wouldn't let them die again.

Gaia could only sadly recall the fleeting touches of the burgundy haired male, his bright smile that reminded her of the sun, and his warm presence that put her at ease.

She longed to interlace their fingers as she smiles gently at their hands, reassurance flooding through her veins due to his touch. All of the sleepless nights, knowing looks, and longing gazes were a thing of the past once again.

Hearing footsteps approaching, Gaia made no attempt to move from her spot. Instead she lowered her head to meet the red eyes of someone precious to her.

His eyes held no love and no recognition of a familiar face.

Instead, she was greeted with a timid smile and worried expression as he uttered the words that she had heard many times before to the point where she had them memorized.

"Excuse me miss, are you alright? My name is Tanjiro Kamado. My house is right up ahead. Please join me! It is too dark and too cold for you to be outside like this. What's your name?" he said, holding out his hand.

The warmth in his voice invaded Gaia's ears as she recalled the many times he would utter her name with such love and fondness, yet Tanjiro was blissfully unaware of who the girl sitting in front of him was.

Gaia tried to stop the tears from coming, but as he looked at her with so much concern without any memories of what they went through together, she couldn't hold back her sobs.

Tanjiro had no idea what to do, but he could smell the devastating sadness and guilt surrounding the girl and he almost choked on the smell alone. It was so suffocating to him.

What could she have possibly experienced to produce such an intense smell?

The way the girl in front of him smelled was so utterly sad that Tanjiro's eyes began to water as well as he engulfed the girl in a hug, vowing to help her in any way that he possibly could. He whispered soft reassurances in her ears while rubbing her back gently but her scent was unrelenting.

Several minutes passed as Gaia still sat in the snow in Tanjiro's arms crying as if there were no tomorrow. Eventually her loud sobs became quiet sniffs as she calmed herself down. The warmth from Tanjiro brought back so many memories that made her descend into despair, but she was so happy to see him again and know that she could save him this time.

She was going to save him this time. No matter what.

Tanjiro noticed that the young girl had stopped crying for the most part and reluctantly pulled away from her, looking into her mesmerizing green eyes. If he weren't so worried about the poor girl, he definitely would have blushed at their close proximity.

Instead, he smiled and stood up, extending his arm for Gaia to grab it.

For the Thirteenth time, Gaia grabbed it and walked towards his home.

This is the last time. She swore.

She would save him so that she would never have to hear him ask for her name ever again.

Next Chapter

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Draw your swords, pt. 13

Summary: Terrified of losing Y/N, the Darkling lets his defenses fall.

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, sexual content

Part one // Part two // Part three // Part four // Part five // Part six // Part seven // Part eight // Part nine // Part ten // Part eleven // Part twelve  

=================================

“Stay with me”, the Darkling trembled as he rushed back to the camp. He held her body close to his chest, her head slumped right where his heart beats thunderstorms in her name.

She’s slipping away, he can feel it. The injuries she suffered and the power she used weakened her irreversibly.

He should be angry with her, enraged, but he had no strength to spare for violent emotions. His heart couldn’t bare much more than the pain he found himself drowning in. It wasn’t the pain of his own wounds, rather the pain of her parted lips and ragged breaths that came like final gushes of air her lungs released.

“HEALER!” He shouted, hoping, praying to the Saints he never believed in before.

“HEALER!” There was something in his screams for help, an unimaginable pain behind it.

Y/N’s fingers twitched, her chest rising in a strange manner; what should expand with an inhale suddenly draws in, a paradox he had seen in dying soldiers.

“HEALER!” It was the kind of scream that went straight for the heart.

Everyone tensed, following the Darkling – a man who never showed genuine emotion other than rage. His call for healers felt like a cry from the heart and soul that stretched across the foundations of who he is. The anguish tore through him as he saw a healer run toward him.

Letting out a shuddered breath in relief, he collapsed to his knees. “Not me!” He growled as the healer tried placing her hands on him, “Help her! Save my wife!”

Nodding, the healer looked down at Y/N with wide eyes. Another healer arrived too, then another, and another.

The Darkling refused to let her out of his embrace as two of the healers tried to take her away. “No!”

“We have to take her”, the first healer insisted. “She doesn’t have long and we have to act fast and that’s not going to happen while you’re clinging to her!” Eyes wide, she covers her mouth as it dawns on her who she’s speaking to. “Respectfully, General.”

Staring at her with raw suffering, Aleksander licked his trembling lips. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to her temple instead of her forehead – forehead kisses in this moment would feel as if he’s kissing her corpse before her final rest. 

He couldn’t stomach that thought.

“If you die, I’ll never forgive you”, he whispers. 

This isn’t how it’s meant to be, how it’s supposed to be. He could never believe anyone ever loved anyone the way he loves her.

Nothing ever made him so frightened as the thought of losing her.

“Take her”, Mal tells them. Looking down at Kirigan who seemed incapable of standing back up on his own, he realized he had to take over.. “And send someone for your General. Send everyone for the wounded in the field.”

Aleksander looked up, jaw clenched and eyes swimming in tears he has yet to shed.

“I’m not leaving”, Mal quipped. “She’s my General.”

Y/N wasn’t able to scream, despite the pain darkening her mind. She tried to focus on her breathing, on staying alive. The only awareness she had was of Aleksander’s arms around her – she felt his scent. When he touched her face, when he tried to gain her attention, she couldn’t open her eyes. Her ears kept ringing, mixing with a rumbling inside his chest. She managed to blink her eyes open once, just one more time to see him, but all she managed to get was a glimpse of his chin and beard.

She wondered how he’d look without it, if it would make him seem boyish, softer. Maybe it would have erased the burden on his shoulders - they may be wide, but they shouldn’t have to carry all that weight alone.

Suddenly, his scent was gone. She tried to reach for him, but her arms could not move, hanging freely instead. Cold seeped in, clinging to her insides, wrapping itself around her heart.

Slowly, her agony had faded. The pain gradually lifted, dissipating like fog. For a moment, she wondered if this is what death feels like – no more pain? No more suffering? Being alone and cold?

Despite everything, if she had a choice, she’d embrace the pain. If pain means she would return to him, to his warm arms, she’d gladly suffer.

Dizzy, confused, she felt herself being pulled up into reality. The disjointed haze receded enough for her to make sense of the world around her. Her eyelids feel heavy as she opens her eyes, the edges of her vision flickering. Blinking fast, her eyebrows knitted as her vision blurred.

‘Aleksander’, she wanted to call, but couldn’t say a word. 

How odd it is that he’s the last one she thought about when she thought she’d die and he’s still the first one to come to mind when she wakes? 

She no longer felt cold. He always had the ability to keep the cold away.

Sniffling, she jerked her hands away as she became aware of another’s touch. Sitting up on a table she was laid upon, she pulled herself aside before looking to the one who touched her earlier.

“It’s just me”, he raised his hands in mock surrender. “I needed to see you.” His voice is soft, sweet like honey.

Scoffing, she narrows her eyes at him and the cup of water he held out for her to take. Her mouth is dry, her throat like sandpaper. She may be angry with him, but the water he held out felt more important than their fight.

“Are you in any pain?” He asks, watching her drink all of the water in one go. “I could have them come and take it away.”

Letting out a loud sigh, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Raising an eyebrow, she licked her dry lips.

“Can they take you away?”

Snorting, he suppresses a smile. As long as she’s capable of annoying him, she’s going to be fine.

“What were you thinking?” Threading his fingers through his hair, Aleksander frowned. “You could have died.”

“Would have saved you a lot of trouble in the future”, she quips. Standing, she stumbles.

Feeling his hands on her waist, Y/N felt her heart skip a beat. Even now, when she’d like nothing more than to walk away, her body reacts to him. Looking up at him, she inhales sharply as she sees the tears in his eyes.

“I’m scared”, he admitted and she blinked.

“Of what?” She frowned, “Me?” Does her power frighten him? Because it frightens her.

He shook his head, “Of me”, he looked at her. His hands trembled as they touched her skin, “I’m scared of hurting you.”

“I’m scared of you hurting me, too.”

Dropping his hand, he takes a step back. “I don’t think I’m capable of ever hurting you.”

“Tell that to my neck”, she remarks. Her hand brushes over where his hand had tightened its grip just the night before, fixing his gaze on him. He seemed to regret it.

‘Good’, she thought. ‘I hope it haunts him, because it will haunt me.’

“I apologize”, Aleksander swallows thickly. He can’t remember the last time he apologized to someone. A part of him questioned if he ever apologized for anything he’s done in his unusually long life. “I had no right to act the way I did.”

“You once told me I could choose the way to punish you if you ever hurt me”, she takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.

Aleksander nods, “I’m a man of my word.”

“What’s your name”, she asks. “Real name.”

His eyes locked on hers like magnets of different polarities. Isn’t that exactly what they are? She’s his polar opposite in every way, fated to attract.

“Aleksander Morozova.” He uttered a name long forgotten; a name he wanted to forget. 

Aleksander was a weak boy who failed everyone that cared for him. He was soft, young, naïve and a damned fool for ever believing Grisha would ever be free. Even now as he elevated their status, Grisha had to serve a human – the Tsar.

Her eyes held barely contained anger. As her hands clasped, a few stray flickers of light appeared on her fingertips. Unclasping her hands immediately, she raised her chin up. “I want to know everything. Tell me your story.”

“And when will I hear yours?” Darkling demanded, swiping his thumb under his lower lip.

“You seem to mistake this for negotiations”, she maintained eye contact defiantly. “Last night you told me to either go back to the Palace or to cross the fold and return to my father. It’s a choice that would easily mean I can choose to stay with you or leave and never look back.”

Placing a hand on his chest, Y/N smirked. “You can either tell me the whole truth or watch me leave.” She spoke through gritted teeth, “Don’t push me unless you’re willing to lose.” 

Cupping his left cheek, she allowed a luminescent glow cast a light on his handsome features. She was angry, so angry and tired and her own power often terrified her. For once, she wanted to use it for her own benefit rather than hide it.

“What good will it do?” Aleksander’s bottom lip quivers as her light illuminates tears collecting in his dark eyes. “You’ll hate me as they all do. Even my mother saw me as a monster.”

“I’ve seen what you really are. And I never turned away…what makes you think I will now?”

She felt his jaw clench under the palm of her hand as he swallowed thickly, “You would if you could see my heart, all of it.”

Exhaling through her nose, she shook her head. Her eyes soften, her lips parting. How could she ever be indifferent to his suffering? She wished she could be colder, to leave him in tears and not look back. Hearing his words, his belief that he’s unlovable tugged at her heartstrings. 

"Have you no faith in me?"

In a fight, they’re lethal, but around each other their armor is gone.

“I’ve waited for you for centuries. I dreamed about you for hundreds of years before I ever saw your face. I longed for you, missed you, died and lived for you.” Taking her face in his hands, Aleksander bends. His forehead meets hers as his nose brushes against the tip of hers.

“Ever since I laid eyes on you, my dreams have been clearer, focused on you. And in my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been’”, his eyes overflow with tears as he continues with a fractured smile. “I say, ‘I’ve been lost, but I’m here now’.” 

Swallowing thickly, he felt as if his heart was breaking. “You’re the only person who has ever been able to find the real me. You saw me underneath all the darkness.” Reaching for her hand, his fingers tremble. “I was waiting for you without knowing it. I’ll make up for all the mistakes, for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.”

“So why is it so hard for you to be honest with me?” She whispers, her hands trembling as they hold onto his shoulders.

His frown deepens, “Why weren’t you honest with me?”

“You once joked and said I’m no Inferni”, she shrugged. “You were right about that. My mother was. Father never knew about either of us. Your turn.”

“I was honest”, he sighs. Stepping back, he frowns. “I told you my name, I answered your questions about the black heretic.”

Reaching for him, she felt her heartache intensify once his tears began to flow freely across his cheeks.

“Don’t”, he recoiled from her touch. She wrapped her arms around her own waist, hurt by the rejection. 

“It’s not easy for me to talk about my past. It’s as if I’m cutting myself open, letting the ugliness spill out. It’s not painless.” Swallowing thickly, Darkling’s eyes widen as he tries to hold back more tears from escaping him. “It would have been simpler to close myself off and find an unremarkable lover who’d never dare defy me, but I keep taking the risk because I want to be with you and I hope that one day you will feel the same way about me.”

“I want”, she stopped, tucking her hair behind her ears. 

His voice was quieter, “What do you want? I’ll give you everything.”

“I don’t know”, she replied honestly. “I’m hurt, Aleks. You hurt me after you promised to protect me.”

Running a hand across his face, wiping his tears away. He averts his gaze. Watching her break because of him deepens the cracks in his poorly stapled, bleeding heart.

“What do you want”, she looked to him with a weight in her chest. How can loving someone hurt so badly even when the love is reciprocated?

“Never mind what I want”, he turned away. Facing her now would have chipped away at his fragile sanity, so he did what a coward would – he hid.

“You asked what I want”, she placed her hands on her hips. “I want to know what you want.”

Shaking his head, he let out a breathless chuckle. “You”, he smiled. “I’ll always want you.”

Closing the distance between them, she closed her arms around his neck. Before she could reach for him, he gripped her by her thighs and lifted her effortlessly. Wrapping her legs around his waist on instinct, she got lost in the rush of blood to her head when he pinned her against the table behind her. He paused, searching her eyes. 

Whatever he was looking for, she hoped he found it.

“I don’t own you”, his eyes flicker to her lips as she sinks her front teeth into the soft flesh of her bottom lip. “I never did. Human or Grisha, you always owned me. I was just too blind to see it.”

Brushing his lips against hers, Aleksander smiled in resignation. His eyes are so different in moments like these, softer than she ever imagined eyes could be.

“Your silver tongue won’t get you far”, she struggled to keep her eyes open with his lips a whisper away. “But you’re free to try.”

She felt his burning gaze, finding it hard to concentrate on much besides breathing. He observed her, capturing her soft, naturally charming and appealing nature. She’s genuine and sweet, the reason why everyone’s head turns when she walks into the room.

How did he not realize it before?

She’s the sun.

She always was. 

He always did squint angrily at her like he does with the fireball in the sky.

Y/N’s hands ran up and down his chest as her lips claimed his - passionately, roughly, determinedly. Without a word, she started to unbutton his kefta, her cold fingertips brushing his warm skin - until she lost patience and ripped the bottom part wide open, pressing her palm against his chest as he broke the kiss.

“Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows in concern.

“I’ll be mad at you tomorrow. Kiss me”, she ordered, drawing a smile on his lips as she pulled him closer, her lips reattaching to his, her teeth sinking into his lower one.

Pushing him onto the floor, she didn’t waste time. Her bottoms were down so quickly he hardly had time to take a proper breath before she unfastened his pants too.

Heaving, Aleksander could hardly get enough of the view on top of him - her beautiful mouth opening in pleasure every time she sunk down on him, her eyes rolling back into her head, her hands placed over his chest to keep herself steady. She speeds up, prompting his loud, uninhibited moans that drew an honest smile upon her lips. He trusted up and into her as his high hit fully, taking her by surprise. She gasped, his thrust giving her an unexpected release as she clenched around him.

Gasping for breath, she laid on top of him. Y/N was very aware of his arm around her as it pulled her close, his hand on her hip, giving it a light squeeze. He leaned into her, his lips pressing a tender kiss to her temple, making her tingle with anticipation of something more - something she shouldn’t think about after their argument.

How can she trust his change of heart has nothing to do with the fact she’s the Sun Summoner? How can she ever trust him at all?

Clearing her throat, she pulled herself off Aleksander. “Put something on, someone might come in”, she told him as she secured her pants back on. She could hardly look at him, afraid he’d weaken her resolve. She couldn’t forgive him so easily, even if her heart ached for him.

“Let me in”, a voice from outside the tent made Y/N look to the entrance with a frown.

She crossed the distance swiftly, her hands ready in case she had to use her sword. She goes to place her hand on the hilt only to find her sword is not on her.

It’s a good thing that’s not her only weapon.

“Hey!” She shouts at the Grisha as they pulled someone away. “Stop!”

“General?!” Mal laughs as he manages to look back at her, fighting against the Grisha.

“Mal?” She chuckles, glad to see he’s still alive. 

“Leave him alone!” She orders, feeling a presence behind her. She didn’t need to look to know it’s Aleksander. Unfortunately for him, she wasn’t in the mood for anymore talking.

“You’re alive?!” Mal goes in for the hug, but his eyes catch a glimpse of Kirigan’s glare and he slowly backs away. “We need to regroup.”

“How many have we lost?” She frowns.

“You’re Grisha now”, Aleksander speaks up. “You don’t have to fight for the humans.”

Glancing over her shoulder, she scoffs at him. How could he even think she’d give up on her people now? 

“That’s not something I’d like. I enjoy my humanity.”

She was the flame who lit his life on fire and while he was burning, he wanted to thank her for it and ask her to stay a while longer. Darkling nearly chuckled at the thought of calling her fire, but she is and he craves the burn.

The Darkling wanted Y/N to be the one addicted to him, in equal measure as he was addicted to her. He wanted to give her a reason to stay with him, if not for love, then for lust. He’d find a way to her heart in the meantime and knowing they’ll have a forever comforts him, but he needed to have her in every other way until then.

He knew he could make her truly happy if she’d let him and he wasn’t about to let her go.

Not without a fight.

Watching her walk away with the soldier, he clicked his tongue. Mal, whoever he is, poses a threat he needs to handle.

Swiftly.

=============================

A/N - I struggled so much writing this chapter, hope you guys like it. I’m probably gonna pass out now, I’m exhausted. xx

Tags: @bruxa0007 @rangotangomango @kaitlyn2907 @thestoryofmylife9 @shelivesindaydreamswme @hxrgreeves @safetyhtom @kaqua @savannah-elliott @all-art-is-quite-useless  @azure23x @girlmadeofavocados @ashdab2611 @acciorudolphx @ladyblablabla @wckedheart @xceafh @sanna2020 @tarkanelima-blog @takethee @mellifluous-cosmos @marvel-ousnesss @tea-effect @starlightofsolaria @p3nny4urth0ught5 @blackbirddaredevil23 @sarcastic-and-cool @slytherinsbiggestproblem @within-thehollowcrown @notthatchhavi @musicconversedance @freakytillthemoon @lgkoval @honeyofthegods @queenmalhinewahine @misselsbells06 @whatthefluffrichard @aami98 @britriestbr @itsfangirlmendes @padme-parker @readingsssssssss @runawayolives @thehighladyofasgard @emlynblack @keithseabrook27 @dailydoseofchoices @deceivedeer @olympiacosplay @pansysgirlfriend @extrakyloren  @daybleedsintonightfa11 @thoughts-and-funnies @weirdowithnobeardo @folkloresworld @remugoodgirl @yagorlemmalyn @gonehopelessgirl @fefethecoffeeaddict @naughtynecromancer @poison-of-the-ivie @strawb3rrydr3ss @supersouthy @theilliterateironman @evyiione @kimoranelson03 @wizardwheezes @woodsabby6 @liajiah @its-carlerrr​ 

PART 14

[discoknack]

I have wondered if locking a ghost into soul sucker settings after eating just one soul is unfair, and if that's what you imply by providing the option to recover, I agree. But my problem is: if it's not that strict, I can't really see a way to lock Kafka into being a ghost-monster because of his character and Hikari's involvement. Hikari's last thoughts, if she was able to have them, wouldn't seem too different from Kafka's to me, thus I'm trying to figure out why she is seemingly not monstrous at all while he turns out to be.

(pretends to be disgusted): he is just too good-hearted. It makes me sick!

But I love him for that, too.

Onryo in the stories I've read have a sense of dignity, and/or a human animal rage. Both result in something like a violent reaction in favor of self-preservation that goes overboard or loses the original purpose (Because they're dead and can no longer preserve their lives in the latter case, only their memory). It's hard for me to crystalize the aspect of Kafka's ego that would turn him into an Onryo. The thing/situation that hurts him even while long dead, that he is provoked to defend himself. That he deserves something good which was unjustly taken from him. I just can't grasp it. What is that something, of himself and his wants, that he may defend with all his heart, possibly at the expense of 'good'. I am tired today. Without a sense of that selfish aspect in the ego, I feel like I must fall back on the fact he is an animal like the rest of us. But even that is something immediate, and if he is to also retain/regain his sense of self, it would eventually have to subside. To make or keep him a monster without him becoming unrecognizable, I have to use his animal-ness to get himself stuck.

So, somehow he has to die in such agony that the human animal in him goes berserk, combining with his disposition to somehow result in him eating the kaiju's soul. I don't know what that looks like; the steps he takes, how his animal self responds to things.

Now as for Hikari: in life she was Captain of the Second Division of the Anti-Kaiju Defense Force. I figure that as a ghost, she would join a coalition sort of thing to keep the living and undead communities safe.

She meets Kafka because he disturbs other spirits as he freaks his way to her district. Ghost bodies are flexible I think, a reflection of the self and possibly one's mood (I considered dimming Hikari's light for one moment of her frustration, but forgot). So Kafka looking a little scary is both: relatively normal for upset ghosts; and possibly a bad sign portending a villain. Kafka being a new face, most spirits assume the latter and flee.

Hikari investigates to probe Kafka's intent, no doubt having dealt with plenty a spooky individual before. If he's just a scared dude (which he is), she'll give him the warm welcome. But if he's an active threat to other spirits or the living, she'll summon her pole-arm made of light and kick his ass, possibly eventually banishing him. I don't know her power-set.

I'm wondering at what point she spots him the first time and when she takes action. If she is able to watch him just before he gets involved with the alley situation, she sees the whole picture, so she'll be inclined to believe him when he says he just got carried away.

If she stops him just before he tries to eat that Guy, she would absolutely tell him not to do that and why. Would she wait that long? The Guy is human garbage so maybe she'd be fine watching him get kicked around a bit, and it doesn't take long for Kafka to try eating him after the Ghost Wail attack so she'd have to jump in quick. If she stops Kafka before or just during the web-spraying, I guess she won't know he was going to pull something, and she might forget to tell him something like that. But then where's the suspense of having your favorite guy slip near the Moral Event Horizon?

I figure eating a human soul would absolutely cross that line. It destroys someone else completely*. Permanently staining your own soul - the culmination of 'you' - forever. I think it would be something detectable by other spirits at least, no matter how you try to hide it. Is that a common trope? Supernatural creatures also being vibe detectors? Hikari no doubt dealt with other Onryo, as you said, thus she may have encountered at least one that ate a person.

* this has a lot of theological assumptions. Spiritual assumptions. I don't know much about it beyond vague recollections of childhood cartoons.

Kaiju aren't the same as humans, so it's not as bad. I don't think many ghosts have tried eating Kaiju when they had the opportunity, except maybe ones who have already eaten human souls. This is a new situation; maybe no one knows exactly what it does. But the primary function of eating souls is to gain power, so while Kafka might not 'smell' like he ate a human, something about him could still be suspicious. And I think there is also some element of you-are-what-you-eat.

How difficult is it to get Kafka to talk about himself? Knack (for those reading, Knack is from a completely different fandom) is famously quiet, and this is one of the aspects I distinguish them. Kafka seems to be a rather open and honest person in canon, spilling all the beans to Kikoru and considering coming clean to the DF a time or two. And Hikari is currently the only spirit to at least give him the time of day, she seems nice and like she knows things and wants to help him. I think he would tell her what happened if she doesn't catch on. Unless he has other plans?

Ghost Kafka Attacks!

Mainly @sonicasura's idea, but I think maybe we have different philosophies? For one thing, I'm evil...

This got away from me again. Anyway, my thinking goes like this:

I modified certain details from Sonicasura's post. The main concept is the same: at 26 years old, Kafka throws his life away to protect his co-workers. Almost at the end of the day, they had been cleaning up a large plant-type Kaiju, whose pheromones attract a medium-sized insect-type Kaiju looking for food. The way the situation is described in the post makes me think: both of these are in the manga that I've only read bits and pieces of. So if that is the case, this is the same, but if not, I will explain. The invading Kaiju is like a wasp that eats nectar as well as insects and meat, and can fly. It can also spray its victims with sticky silk, like a spitter spider, but unlike a spitter spider, its sight might be much more acute.

The Kaiju is on top of them in no time at all, with the poor Sweepers shouting at one another to get down and hide. High probability of an imminent blood bath! Kafka, opportunistic as ever, covers himself in nectar from the plant Kaiju to turn himself into bait. He sprints out and away as fast as he can through the empty streets, aiming to lead it away from his crew and distract it long enough for the rest of the Monster Sweepers to hide or flee. In this regard, he is successful.

But the attacking Kaiju ensnares him in its silk.

He has plenty of time in that cocoon to contemplate his last moments while under the influence of the Kaiju venom. We can agree on some themes. It might be anger at himself for breaking his promise and getting himself killed, hoping everyone else got away in the end, fighting to go on or at least praying to be remembered, and desperately desperately begging Mina to forgive him for his failure. What frustrates me is I want something more. Something evil. But y'know, Kafka's flavor of wrath wouldn't be triggered in this situation for Reasons. Without having read the full manga, I guess I'm going with the so-simple-it's-stupid option: fight or flight. And I changed the mechanism for Kafka becoming the type of ghost he is, sorta. Anyway,

Kafka, having been killed through suffocation within a maddeningly painful venomous silk cocoon, is in a high state of stress that does not immediately abate, even after he killed his killer and sucked up its soul.

I don't know how he does that yet, so I'll skip it.

As he has no immediate purpose and has not yet regained the ability of abstract thought or other forms of higher thinking, Kafka wanders around, confused and in emotional pain, hugging himself. His previous agony was so intense, that I'm not sure what's going on in his mind in the immediate aftermath. Does he even know he's dead? On some level he likely does, but perhaps he is also having a temporary lapse in sanity, or suffering from delirium. In any case, he is instinctually looking for help of some kind, but doesn't know how to get it.

I like to think that once his spirit had emerged from the still-closed cocoon, he mostly resembled himself, right down to the white Monster Sweeper uniform on his apparition. Only also with piercing green irises, a dark aura over his form, and an odd, often fleeting, sickly sweet scent. There's a certain pained expression he made that seemed off-putting, but I can't describe it. Still dunno how he ate that thing.

But after consuming the Kaiju soul, his form became like a shadow puppet, still human in shape but the details are harder to make out. Now his eyes and mouth are a starkly-glowing green. His teeth are still currently flat, except occasionally fangy when he's really pissed off and about to eat someone. He transforms further the more kaiju he consumes, so he'll eventually get a full set of permanent sharpness, among other changes, such as: the shape of his body becoming serpentine except for his arms and face; his hair becoming more like fur in texture and running all down his spine so that the end of his tail blends fluff with smoke; the rest of his body developing hair that's very fine, dense and no more than one or two millimeters long, something like an agreeable velvet or one of my favorite sweaters; clawed fingers like talons, although I'd prefer his hands retain a more human shape, but human fingernails are quite fragile. But that's all later. For now, he looks like a human shadow.

The lingering sun, as it descends to dusk, has him feeling some kind of way when he's caught in its light. It doesn't hurt per se, but it's overwhelming for an already-overwhelmed man, and highlights the sensation of feeling physically insubstantial. Lower levels of ambient light help him feel a little more real. So he sticks to darker areas like alleys.

The Defense Force arrived at some point, only to find the wasp Kaiju already dealt with, and a cocoon that was the perfect size to house a human victim. Though, as is the case in the original post, they couldn't breach the cocoon's walls. And it, as well as the body inside, remained fresh even months later. I should explain that the freshness is a common idea in the stories I've read about Onryō, and not necessarily something the wasp Kaiju did.

At some point he has wandered across districts, slowly calming down. The occasional screams of other spirits who flee from him or turn away tend to startle him again. His reactions slowly change from wild fright in his delirium that has him running and crying from no threat at all, to seeking out a shrieking soul to check if they're alright, to quickly realizing that they want nothing to do with him but he's not really sure why.

He's cooled down enough now that he can think a little. When he finally encounters a living person, the notion of his death finally sinks in. It's not so dramatic. He doesn't cry out, though his despair returns a little more. He just asks the stranger, "can you help me?" And while they turn, curious, they don't notice him, and become slightly perturbed when his hand phases through their shoulder. And so after contemplating his hand, Kafka wanders some more, wearing his glowing frown and not sure what to do at this point.

Cliché, I know, that he soon encounters a living shit-stain of a human being in an alley somewhere. Maybe some entitled wad that grins and keeps pressing if a vulnerable woman tries to tell him 'no'. The point is that Kafka would be hard-pressed to not kill and eat this guy. And Kafka is already in a bad mood.

So, you know...

Kafka has the villain wrapped in his silk, which was spewed from his fingers and mouth. The woman is long gone by now, having ran off as soon as the villain was distracted. Kafka is so full of white-hot rage that he slams the man into the wall a few times. And when he yells at him nothing legible comes out, only a roar of garbled language that cracks the concrete and has the bastard's ears bleed.

On some level Kafka knows something isn't right, and that he's doing something wrong. But at the forefront of his mind is wrath, retribution in favor of the woman this man harassed. Kafka gets ready to suck out this man's soul so that no one, alive or dead, has to suffer him again.

But Kafka is kicked in the head from the side and stumbles, dropping the sack. As an angry spirit, his inner chaos flares and he is like an animal, mostly in the way that humans are animals. He gets bigger in his posture, ready for a fight, and as a ghost, he gets some inches taller with this motion also.

Hikari Shinomiya has her hands on her hips and a bright face. "Hey there! You still in there, buddy?"

Kafka is confused by the juxtaposition of the surprise kick and the woman's friendly tone, and he backs away to look at her, lowering his hands. He unconsciously drips evil silk from his fingers, but it tapers off as he assesses the situation - even as impaired as he is. The nice woman in front of him must also be a spirit: her aura is of light. She doesn't seem to harbor any ill will toward him. The kick hurt, but also, it didn't? Kafka takes some moments to understand that she is solely addressing him. "Uh...?"

Meanwhile, Hikari carefully approaches him, somewhat like she intends to capture a scared animal. Slow, but poised to act if he makes any sudden moves. "I heard... a newbie was in town... so... Am I not too late?"

At the change of the script, Kafka's rage had dissipated. Essentially, he is still hurt and confused, and Hikari distracted him from his task. He doesn't want to hurt her, but also can't think of a way to disengage from her, and running away also isn't an option because he still wants to kill-a-little-bit this guy, so he freezes.

Hikari is able to take one of his hands in hers, the silk having dissipated. "There. See? Bet you other people were scared or ignored you, huh?" And she winked. "I'm Shinomiya Hikari." Then she blinks, registering something.

Kafka is able to speak again. As Hikari gets into his personal space and reaches for his face to scrutinize him, he leans away, physically and idiomatically shrinking, and says, "H-Hibino Kafka! That's- don't wear it out! There's been a big misunderstanding. I am very sorry!" He scratches his head with a free hand, chuckling nervously, " I just wanted to teach this guy a lesson and, got carried away... I dunno what's going on at all."

Hikari is distracted by whatever she noticed, not responding to his words. "Oh no..." and Kafka sweats. She holds his chin, squishing his cheeks, and wonders aloud, "just who did you eat already?"

Ok so I figured Hikari's been a ghost for a few years, and she knows or has at least heard that if you eat a soul, it can taint you in a way that locks you into a vampire-like existence, requiring you to sate a horror hunger with more souls. Hikari doesn't care about the piece of trash he wrapped up, but it would be best to prevent Kafka from eating him anyway so as to keep everyone safe in the long run and allow Kafka a friendlier coexistence with other spirits. Unbeknownst to her at first, Kafka has eaten a soul already, thus sort of dooming that neighborly relationship. But since it's not a person, it doesn't carry the same moral weight that would erode his sanity if it was.

I imagine that among vengeful ghosts who take up vigilantism and suck up human villains, there's a bit of a he-who-fights-monsters situation and they end up becoming corrupted one by one, devouring each other before being put down somehow. (I would totally watch/read something with that concept. Any recs?)

Also, I added more powers and quirks to Kafka than the original post. I already mentioned a couple of them here already and in Kikoru's Spirit Guy (in part 2, but here is also part 1 for those who want to read it). He has a sweet smell, which can be either pleasant like spring or candy, OR very oppressive, floral, and saccharine. Getting bigger and smaller is a subset of elasticity. Hikari can probably do it too. Kafka can also spray webs: clean ones like Spider-Man or a real spider's structural webs; or sticky ones laced with a psychoactive compound, the concentration of which depends on Kafka's choice and wrath. Unlike the killer cocoon, these sticky webs have a milder physical effect on their victims in the sense that they don't leave any marks. But they can still cause pain and additionally induce paranoia, hallucinations, agitation and/or catatonia. So, that guy he wrapped up is absolutely fucked already.

I have a suspicion that rather than including arson proper in his arsenal, pyrokinesis is more for lighting and putting out candles and lamps to control the light level. Thus to that end, he can also burn out light bulbs with a flash (though might not be able to turn them back on). I don't know when or if he'll use it.

Umm, that's about all I got for this point in the story. I have one more drabble thing.

[universallychaoticpan]

You can rest

Hange x reader

Had these ideas for reuniting after death fics so I'm on a bit of kick with those right now. Hope you enjoy, and if you'd like to see different content from me, my asks are always open and requests are always welcome. <3

Strange, she though to herself. I thought it would hurt more but...it's all just fading away. It feels so far away now.

I'm sorry Levi, Erwin, but I think it's time for me.

"I'm coming, y/n. Just hold on a little longer."

/

How fitting was it that the first thing they saw when their eyes opened again was your face? The best days of their life were the ones they spent waking up to you, the days when the first and last thing they saw was your eyes so full of love for them, soft and content despite the raging world around you. And now they saw you again, healthy and whole like you'd been before you'd died.

Even in death, Hange remembered it all so clearly. The fresh blood seeping from her eye socket, the ruination around her as she realized she was the last one of her squad alive. She remembered the horror that had flooded her when she'd gone with Levi to survey the dead, and saw you lying dead in a pool of your own blood. Even now, with you in front of her again, safer than you ever had been, they couldn't forget the image of your broken body lying sprawled over the grass wet with the blood of your comrades.

"I'll be okay," you'd said, "Someone needs to stay with the recruits. Look at them, love, they're terrified."

All you had survived, they thought, all you'd made it through, just to die on the edge of victory. The scream that had left their throat was one of complete agony as the realization that they'd just lost the one who held her heart. They'd held you there, cradled you like you could protect you as Levi left their side to let her mourn. Somewhere, she'd known it wasn't safe to stay, that it was still dangerous on that side of the wall, but if she was being honest, she couldn't find it in herself to care.

Let them find me. Let them kill me, she'd thought. At least then I won't have to know a day without them.

Instead, she'd lived. She'd fought for all the people she'd loved and lost just like you, as you watched her with pride. She'd lost sleep to your ghost, you knew it well. You had slipped back into her world and walked with her, offering comfort when you could and protecting her when it was needed. You shifted the winds ever so lightly for her, gave her strength with your touch, tried your best to help her see you weren't gone.

She saw it all.

She saw you in the colors bleeding over each other in a twilight sky, heard your laugh in the waves that rushed over the sea. She could find the light in your eyes when she looked into glowing flames, your steady spirit in the trees that swayed with the wind yet stayed grounded in themselves through every storm.

And now it was all rushing back to her as she took in your eyes, shinning and teary as you smiled at her. Really smiled at her again. Oh, she'd spent so many nights dreaming of your smile, longing for your touch on her skin the way it was now.

Her heart was tearing, though, and you could see it well. Her heart had broken to loose you and now it broke to see you again, knowing what they sacrificed to see you. What they had lost to hold you.

"It's alright, my love. You've fought hard enough. We all have, but it's time for you to rest now. They'll see this through. It'll be alright in the end, even if we all end up here together."

"At least then we'll be together."

"They need me, y/n! Levi still needs me, Mikasa, Armin, Eren, they need my help." By now she was crying into your chest, your arms around her as she wrestled with her guilt. "They need me like...like I needed you."

The flash of hurt in your eyes felt like a knife in the chest, as you brought her ever closer, cried gently with her on the edge of a life beyond it.

"I never left you, love. And trust me when I say I never wanted anything more than to be at your side as you fought and stood for everything you believed in. You did so well, you were so strong and you've done so much." You were desperately trying to keep your voice steady as you looked into her warm eyes. "They'd forgive you if you had a choice. They'd understand. Levi will understand. He's strong, he'll make it through. But you deserve peace after everything."

Gently, you kissed her lips, feeling her melt into your touch the way she had a million times before, your hand cradling her face every so softly as you pulled away. Moving her arms so they twined around your waist, she held you steady against her, on your knees in front of her on the sun-soaked earth.

"Just...stay with me for a moment, will you?"

Smiling, you pressed another kiss to her forehead, trying to give every ounce of love you head to the woman in front of you.

"I'll stay for a moment, and then every second after if you'll have me."

[redrobin-detective]

because I could not stop for death

because I could not stop for death / he kindly stopped for me / the carriage held but just ourselves / and immortality ~ Emily Dickinson

Danny Fenton was dying, properly this time.

Somehow, in the back of his head and in his worst nightmares, he knew it would end this way: bleeding on the floor of his parents’ lab where it had all began. He was so hot he felt like his skin was on fire, blood and ectoplasm were dripping all over him and his lungs and heart were working overtime to try in vain to keep him alive a moment longer. He’d imagined at the time that there would be more screaming but death, in the end, was turning out to be a quiet little affair. A lonely table set for one.

“Danny, Danny come on, you-you gotta slow down your breathing, just relax, for me, please,” Sam moaned, more than making up for his lack of noise. She was shaking and touching him all over, his chest, his face, his hair. Normally she jumped right into action but she had to know, deep down, that there was nothing she could do. All that was left was to watch her panic and cry, it wasn’t his favorite image. 

“Vlad!” He heard Tucker scream cry into the phone, “please it’s Tucker, Danny’s dying I think. The Fentons had some new invention, something about his core, please we don’t know what to do!” 

Ugh Vlad, he was probably going to be so happy Danny was on his way out. He wasn’t looking much forward to his last images being his archenemy gloating. Tucker hung up and reached down to grasp Danny’s hand so hard it hurt. “Don’t worry dude, Vlad’s coming. He knows so much about you half ghosts that you’ll be fixed up on no time.” Right, Danny was already dead. If calling Vlad, feeling like he did something, helped Tucker move on then he’d deal with it.

Danny tilted his head to the side where Sam’s fingernails were carding through his hair. It was getting harder to see with the blood pouring out of his eyes but he looked at her, and tried to memorize her face. He’d never been able to tell her how much he loved her, that any day spent with her was a blessing. Tucker too, his best bro and a part of his soul. His best friends in the whole wide world, through thick and thin. God, he was going to miss them.

“Glurk,” he said, trying to convey those feeling but the fluids in his mouth and airway made it impossible. “Blerh.”

“Shh shh shh,” Sam soothed, “it’s okay, don’t try to talk.”

“Daniel!” He heard Vlad’s voice shriek as he materialized in front of the portal. Sam and Tucker were violently pushed out the way. Danny wanted to be angry at his loved ones being taken away in his final moments but anger was for the living, he barely had the energy to breathe. This death was too long and too short all at once. He made eye contact with Vlad who all at once lost the frantic edge to his tone and and instead knelt on the floor. “Oh my dear boy. What did they do to you?”

“What is going on?” Sam demanded, shoving her way back in. Danny was glad, he could see again like this. “Why aren’t you doing something!”

“There’s nothing to be done,” Vlad said in a flat, monotone, he picked up one of Danny’s hands and patted it gently. “His core is dying, it’s like a ghost’s heart. It contains their very essence, it is from which everything they are comes from. If Jack and Maddie somehow disrupted it then there’s nothing anyone can do to save him.”

“But he’s human too,” Tucker defended, grabbing Danny’s other hand. His human warm skin burned but the contact felt so good, he twitched his fingers closer to his friend’s. “He-he doesn’t need a core, he’s already got a heart. So, so he doesn’t have powers, we can do normal again.”

“You-” Vlad hissed before taking a calming breath. “The accident that made Daniel like this irreparably altered him. His core was as much a part of keeping him alive as his other organs, without it, his body is shutting down.” Vlad turned down to look Danny in the eye and saw true, genuine grief in those hateful red eyes. 

“I cannot imagine the agony you are going through, I’m so sorry. I’d say it will be over soon but,” a hitch that sounded almost like a sob if it was coming from anyone other than Vlad. “But you’ve hovered on the edge of death for years, son, and you’ve always been such a fighter. You have minutes at most but those minutes are an eternity when you’re suffering.”

Sam and Tucker’s sobbing blended together in the background, Vlad was saying something with a miserable, stunned expression. The swirling of the portal in the background seemed louder than anything, louder than his heart beat pounding and pounding as it ran it’s last race. 

“Daniel, Danny,” he focused his eyes back on Vlad who had a stubborn, unhappy set to his brow. “Do you want me to make the pain stop? An ectoblast to your chest will end your life instantly.”

“Don’t you dare touch him,” Sam shrieked, coming back into view and looking like she was trying to fight Vlad off. “You do anything to him and I’ll kill you!” Tucker just sat and stared at him, like he too was trying memorize Danny’s face.

“It’s a mercy, Samantha or do you want his last moments on earth to be drowning on the blood in his lungs.”

“Sam, he has a point. I don’t- I don’t think we can fix this.”

“No! No we always fix things, I’ll do it myself if I have to!”

Danny’s vision was starting to go, more black than anything else. He closed his eyes and readied himself for the inevitable. 

“Time Out,” Danny opened his eyes and found he was no longer in pain. He was standing up and apart from where he’d previously been lying. Sam had her hands in Vlad’s face and the older hybrid was snarling something at her. Tucker was midmotion trying to stand up, presumably to get Sam but the three of them were frozen in the moment. Danny turned and found Clockwork floating, looking very out of place in his parents lab. “Good evening, Danny.”

“You that short on cash that you work part time as a grim reaper?” Danny quipped out of habit. He looked down at his body and grimaced a bit, that wasn’t a pretty sight. No doubt traumatizing for Tucker and Sam. God how were they going to explain this to his parents? “Gonna ferry me across the River Styx? I don’t have two pennies but I think I have a bloodied $10 on me.”

“You’re core is dying and you have 17 seconds left in this world before all your organs give out and finish the process you began when you turned on your parent’s ghost portal,” Clockwork explained as he changed into child form. 

“O-okay,” Danny said shakily, trying to be brave even when he was so, so scared. He was going out whether he wanted it or not but he refused to leave crying. “Nice of you to come say goodbye then but, uh but unless you have something to say then you should let me go back. No one knows better than me that you can’t outrun death. Thanks but I’m uh I’m ready.”

Clockwork stared at him for a bit, not sure how long, time was weird like this but he changed forms a few times. “You’re quite the remarkable young man, Danny Fenton.”

“Uh thanks,” Danny added, once more looking at his body which had, according to Clockwork, a 17 second expiration date. “What’s going to happen? Am I going to become a ghost? Does heaven or hell exist for someone like me?”

“I don’t get to decide what happens, I merely see options,” Clockwork stated easily, taking his time. “If you die naturally you’ll become ghost, a mere shadow of who you are now and one who would fade fairly quickly. You don’t have strong enough anger or regrets to tie you in the real world for long.” Not great but okay he supposed, hell for his friends and family though. “You could let Plasmius deliver his mercy kill, destroying what’s left of your ghost core and ensuring you do not come back.” Better, probably won’t help the Fruitloop’s instability but he can’t save everyone.

“That one comes with it’s own caveat but I’ll get to that in a moment,” Clockwork explained. “There is a third option where you get up off the floor and walk away.” Danny blinked then looked back at his body which certainly wasn’t walking anywhere but into a plush casket. Clockwork opened his hands and the Ghost King’s Crown materialized in his hands. “If you accept your claim to the King’s Cown, it will revitalize your core and your life would be saved.”

Danny blinked.

“By sealing Pariah Dark, you won by proxy and established a legitimate claim to the throne. The Zone has been without a king for millennia, most have forgotten the old rules. Those who remembered were not too keen on a half-ghost child assuming leadership and kept you in the dark. If Plasmius ends your life then your claim transfers over to him, which he is aware of. It had been his plan all along to trick you into defeating Pariah so he could steal the Crown from you at a later date, a much easier opponent.”

Danny’s mind was overloaded with information, he didn’t know what to focus on first. He stared at his 17 seconds from death face and tried to process it all. Crown? Claim? Vlad?

“Of course,” Clockwork tutted, “he didn’t plan on your dying and in such a gruesome fashion. If he kills you and takes your claim, he would spend his remaining years ruling the Ghost Zone in a just, controlled fashion for your memory. He destroys all the stable portals and keeps the ghost and human worlds separate.” Clockwork became and old man and titled his head, “it’s not a bad timeline, all things considered.”

“And if I take it?” Danny asked quietly.

“You’re compassionate, brave and motivated, you have all the makings of a revolutionary king,” Clockwork smiled. “The Zone would experience and unprecedented era of peace, there would be positive interactions between human and ghosts for the first time since life and death split into two. Your name would spoken with reverence for the rest of time.”

“But I don’t want to be king,” Danny frowned.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Clockwork stated. “Which is why I am giving you the choice. If you pass peacefully there will be no one to claim the Crown and life will continue on, ghost attacks and all. If Plasmius kills you, he becomes an effective but unmemorable king. If you take the Crown, you can get the chance to tell Sam and Tucker how much you love them.”

Danny rubbed at his face, he didn’t want to die but he’d be sealing away his entire future with a move like this. He didn’t even know if the Crown would let him go with death, maybe he’d die and be stuck as the Ghost King until his core finally gave out lord in who knows how long. Eternity was an awful long time to carry such a responsibility. He couldn’t bring himself to ask, too afraid of the answer.

“Is there ever a timeline I became an astronaut?” He asked instead. Clockwork hummed, seemingly unsurprised by Danny’s non-sequitur. 

“Yes, in one of the few universes where you never walked into the portal. You never go into space what with human politics putting a halt on the programs but you work for NASA. You leave Amity Park at 17 and don’t come back save for your parents’ dual funeral.” He paused and Danny felt read down to his very bones, “from the moment you became half ghost you were always heading for this moment. The circumstances varied but it always came down to you and the Crown. Time is straining to continue, to see how this drama plays out. Will you accept it and all the joy and grief that comes with it?”

Danny looked over at Vlad, still mid-sneer but there was a scared desperation in his face. He and Vlad sniped at each other all the time but Danny didn’t really hate him and he didn’t think Vlad did either. Leaving him alone, plus making him be king was a heavy burden to put on his enemy. 

Sam and Tuck probably wouldn’t recover from this, he’d put them through so much already but he just knew that they’d never be the same. Could he do that to them? Take the easy way out and leave them to suffer? Mom and Dad didn’t deserve to come home to a dead son, the truth would come out and they’d never forgive themselves. Jazz certainly wouldn’t, she was 2 states over at University but he could already hear her angry, grief-stricken screams. 

Death, death was quiet. It was quiet and merciful and sad, but it was also easy. And Danny Fenton had never once taken the easy route. He reached out and took and the crown before shakily placing it on his head. He gasped, throwing his head back as his core swelled, taking up residence once more right next to his heart. Clockwork smiled, looking like the cat who ate the canary. 

“The Crown of Fire, pardon me the Crown changes with each core, the Crown of Ice is now yours as is the Zone. Your reign begins now but so too does the rest of your life. People are waiting for you. Time in.” Danny slammed back into awareness on the floor of his parents’ lab, the floor he’d almost died on twice. 

He sat up as cold radiated off his body, causing frost to crawl down his arms and along the floor. Sam, Tucker and Vlad, who’d been frozen up until now, jumped back to life. There was a new, familiar weight on his head that he didn’t dare acknowledge. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and said a silent goodbye to a quiet, normal life. It wouldn’t be all bad, he could be happy like this but the Crown still felt like a iron manacle around his neck. But he got used to the ghost powers, he could get used to this too. Maybe one day he won’t look at the stars and say ‘what if?’

“Danny!” Sam shouted, throwing herself into his arms soon followed by Tucker. Their warm weight, their relieved sobs, their shaky breaths in his air, now this was something worth living for. He squeezed them tightly.

“But how dude, you were at death’s door!” Tucker asked, still not letting go.

“You accepted the Crown,” Vlad said evenly, “I wasn’t aware you even knew about your claim. Who told you?”

“You don’t know everything, Vlad,” Danny sighed, sitting himself upright. Ugh his shirt was covered in blood and ectoplasm. He needed to trash these clothes before his parents freaked. And find a way to hide the floating ice crown on his head. 

“Even an old man can be surprised every now and again,” Vlad said wearily. He stood up to his full height before startling Danny by dipping down to one knee. “Then allow me to be the first to welcome my new king and wish him well.”

“I thought you wanted this,” Danny questioned.

“I do, I did,” Vlad said, unusually off balance. “To be quite honest, I’m not sure how to feel about it but, right now, I’m just immeasurably happy you’re alive, little badger. Now I best be off, enjoy your kingdom, my liege, I’ll be sure to come bother you some time soon.” Vlad disappeared in a swirl of pink leaving just him, Sam and Tucker still clinging to him.

Danny may have a kingdom, a job he didn’t want and his whole life decided in a spur of the moment choice, but he also had something very important. He squeezed his friends tightly.

“I love you guys, thank you for being my friends even though I have the worst ideas for activities. Dying? On a Sunday night? How lame is that?” Sam laughed, a bit hysterical but it was real and it made Danny feel weightless. 

“Don’t do that again, buddy,” Tucker breathed into his shoulder. “So you gonna explain what just happened and why you’re apparently the Ghost King or something?”

“Yeah, yeah I will but let’s get changed first. Mom and Dad will be home soon and I think I’m going to need to have a conversation with them about my new job.” 

[daim1812]

One Last Time

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Labels: Romance, angst, drama, mentions of suicide, blood, children involvement, pregnancy and death.

Warning: Some manga spoilers. Change of storyline for adaptive purposes.

Song of choice: Saturn by Sleeping at Last

As the sun went down so did his body, sitting down on the log with a perfect view to a hidden lake between enclosed tall trees. Rising up from the mountain, the moon made its way into the night sky.

Levi couldn’t stop himself to stare at the moon. He couldn’t stop breathing the air, feeling it hit his lungs with small fights. He couldn’t stop from repeating the same images in his head.

His squads death made him realize that death was always near. He knew that no matter how much he ran away from it, it was always going to catch up to him.

Mike’s death shook him slightly. He knew this man for his whole years of being in the Scouts, and consider him someone close to him.

Erwin’s death threw him in a verge of loosing himself, almost to the point of ending things. And yet... he found himself weak to the thought. He couldn’t do it, it was someone else’s job to kill him and end his agony. Even when Hange stood there with him and helped him realize that he wasn’t that alone, her sudden sacrifice pushed him into an unknown feeling.

And so he sat there, amaze by the scenery; amazed by the simple thought that he was still... living.

Without a care in the world, Levi closed his eyes and emerge into the swing of the wind. Hitting him softly on the face and pushing his hair back, he indulge in a new feeling he couldn’t describe before.

He was delighted.

He was enlighten.

Yet, he hated that. Everybody else died, leaving him alone to understand himself and hate himself at the same time. All he wanted was... for them to come back. Since Isabel and Farlan, Levi learned the hard way that life isn’t the way he thought it would be. Kenny’s death was another punch in his face. His mother's death since the beginning made him this solitary person filled with problems.

Levi wasn’t normal.

Two pair of hands took him by surprise, but not enough to act defensive. He already knew this hands.

She pressed her face on Levi’s head, her body slightly pushing to his back. Her hands collared on his neck, embracing him thoroughly to her own content.

“What are you doing, Captain?” Her voice swayed Levi’s ears, the melody in her voice making him subtle and nostalgic.

“I have never stopped myself to watch this place, Captain.” He mumbled, almost too low for her to understand, but she did. Levi felt her jaw tense and knew she was smiling.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? This is what we fight for, Levi. For this place, this scenery, for the wind, for the people, for the oceans, for the animals, for us.” She let go of Levi to sit beside him, looking at him.

Levi finally got rid of his bandages, half of his face with a scar that marked a battle in transition; his left eye was hidden over a patch. She wanted so much to contain herself from touching his face once again. One after the other, every time she saw him like this, her hands immediately moved to touch his face. Levi doesn’t care much, but at the beginning he prohibited her to do so.

“Can I...?” The whisper made Levi look down, slowly nodding, not wanting to show her that he needed her to touch him.

Her fingertips rolled on his skin and scars, slowly, and carefully, she continue the path from the chin to his forehead. She stopped the movement once she reached his eye patch, looking at him for confirmation. He didn’t say anything, still staring at the ground in front of him, how the grass moved with the wind.

“I love your eyes, Levi.” She smiled at him, continuing her path, her fingers sinking inside his hair.

He finally let go of a sigh, looking up at her with the most saddest eyes, the color of his eyes slowly fainting by the light of the moon.

“If you die...” He started, stopping her movements. She frowned her eyebrows, looking back at him with fierce.

“Don’t say that. I’m not going to die. I’m not planning on doing so. My plan is to finish this war with Eren and those idiots, and then... we’ll retire in a cabin in the woods. We’ll have lots of kids. I’m still young, I can have at least 7 kids. Don’t you think?” She chuckled, Levi loving so much her action.

When was the last time he felt so affected by the emotions of another person? She had him wrapped on her fingers and yet he couldn’t do anything about that. He didn’t know the feelings he was going through. He didn’t understood what this new emotion was.

Was it really love like the books in the library described?

Was it the love Hange so furiously told him about when they stayed up almost all night drinking with Erwin and Mike?

Was love the past arrangement Erwin had with Nile’s wife?

Or was it that anxious feeling of seeing someone for the first time and noticing how beautiful they were?

He couldn’t decipher anything even if they were together. He was confused with all those emotions flowing into him. From the beginning, in his childhood, he never got to experience love and affection. Farlan and Isabel gave him affection, that friendship, and he learned from that. From Erwin he went through companionship, same with his squad, Hange and Mike. He understood those feelings; he already battled those and lost. Levi knew death, despair, loneliness, sadness; he knew all of those and yet he never once understood love.

She changed those thoughts so easily it scared him.

“You would look so beautiful holding our baby...” Her smile made Levi weak to the knees. How couldn’t he have fallen for her? “My plan is for us to be together until we are old and we decay with time. I want this to be over so we can be happy. What do you think?”

“...” Levi couldn’t say anything. If something he learned from all those years of loneliness and misery, it was to never dream too much. He wanted to live in the present because every time he thought things were alright something ended up wrong.

“Levi?” She looked so worried for him, letting her knees touch the grass in front of Levi.

His hands immediately hold her elbows, not wanting her to get on her knees and get her pants dirty just for him. Yet, she didn’t cared, only pushing away his hands a little bit to not make him feel bad.

“Talk to me, Ackerman.” Her voice soothes him. How many times has he loved hearing her call his name or just say anything in general?

He didn’t wanted to admit it, but having her near him, breathing, laughing, talking, whispering, singing... made him sleep so good for the first time. He finally let go of the worries in her arms and slowly pacified his urges of ending thing. Whenever he could sleep with her, he felt like the world didn’t needed to end just yet. Sleeping with her seemed like the only medicine he needed for days full of regret.

Either way, with those thoughts in his head while he stared down at the girl he profoundly fell for, he couldn’t let himself be like her.

Levi was the opposite of her. Down to earth, cold, and with secrets nobody needed to know. She was an open book, imaginative and lovable. He just didn’t wanted her to feel bad for saying words that could hurt her.

“This is real life, Captain. We are in a fragile situation right now in where we don’t know if tomorrow we will be alive. We live our lives to the fullest imagining that at some point we will stop and notice we fought so hard for our freedom.” Levi’s eyes connects with her, noticing how the light faded a little bit. “I can’t live in a fantasy... not when everything around me is based in reality. You are the one thing,” He stopped for a few seconds, his finger grabbing onto some of her locks. “I can’t loose.”

“You’re in bad luck, Levi, ‘cause I’m going into battle tomorrow and I promise you I will live. I won’t die yet. I can’t leave you alone.” Suddenly she pressed her forehead softly against Levi’s forehead, both of their noses slightly kissing. She closed her eyes and Levi admired her fractions.

He liked her so much.

She was the only reason why he hasn’t indulge into the darkness and end his life right there.

His fingers pressed her locks behind her ear, some of the hair covering his face and hers. She giggled at the humble actions of the man she loved with all her life. He continues to push her hair behind her ears, slowly passing his fingertips on her earlobe.

“Don’t die on me, brat. Keep fighting.” His whisper made her eyes crystallize. She felt the feelings behind those words. He wanted her to continue living even if he didn’t made it through another day.

She shook her head, the hairs from behind her ear falling back on her face as she pulled away from him.

Her hands locked onto his, pressing them on her chest tightly, a little careful of Levi’s bandage hand missing two of his fingers.

“No. Don’t YOU die on me, Levi. I want you to live and fulfill my wish with me. I want you to wake up tomorrow ready to battle and do everything it takes to come back into my arms. Many will die; death is inevitable, yet I’ll be here always. I want you to survive because you deserve to. I know how much you await death. You’ve been waiting for so long to feel it. The grass on your fingers, the blood gushing out of your mouth and the pain. But, Levi, I assure you, nothing is better than living the moment. Nothing will be better than this moment. You and me... finally together. I won’t let you die, Levi. We will have each other’s back. But you will survive even if it means me saving you over and over. I won’t let you fall into a darkness you won’t ever go out. I’ll light up your path every time you see it darken. I’ll keep the light up every time the wind tries to blow it. I’ll be here for you... until death do us apart.” Her eyes quickly tried to gush out the feelings, but the feelings were already dripping down her face.

Levi couldn’t stop himself anymore. He grabbed her cheek, pulled her up a little to be at the same height as him and pushed his lips against hers.

Her lips danced slowly on his, taking almost all the control of the kiss. Even if they were together for so long, Levi didn’t know a lot of things couple usually did. He didn’t know how to kiss, how to compliment, how to touch, how to love. Yet, she didn’t care for those small details. Being near her lover solely made her live happily.

Their lips continued to stick together, Levi wanting so hard to not let go. Maybe he didn’t wanted to let go because he wanted to love the moment like she told him to do; or maybe he felt the need to kiss her one last time just in case something bad happened.

Her hands touched Levi’s cheek, rubbing her fingertips on his cheek. He felt the cold round of tears pressing on his face, sticking them.

Breaking the kiss with a subtle movement, Levi gazed at her up and down, taking a mental picture of his lover for future references. For when the battle came, he could keep calm and fight dedicating his heart.

“Don’t cry, idiot.” He rolled her tear off her face with his right thumb. She nodded quickly, wiping her face with her long sleeve shirt.

“Promise me, Levi... we will fulfill my dream? Just promise me that.” His hand pressing on her cheek, she shoved it even closer to her.

He couldn’t promise that. He just couldn’t. Levi didn’t know if he was going to survive. The situation was getting dangerous and if everything went south, he would have to sacrifice himself to save the others. He needed to give them a future, Levi already fought enough, lived enough.

But now he had her... Now he was supposed to live to keep her by his side. He needed to survive. Yet, he just couldn’t say that to her. He wasn’t very good with words. Showing actions and taking actions was his forte.

The moon shined on them once again, the lighting in his eyes finally shinning again, the back of her head being lightened by the moon as well.

He wanted to live for her.

“I promise.” He mumbled, watching her shriek and throw herself on him, almost pushing both of them back into the ground.

She flowered him with kisses all over his face, being extremely careful of his eye and scar.

“I love you, Levi. Thank you. I’ll keep you safe.” Those words brought him so much joy. An emotion he hasn’t felt at all in his life, yet he was purely in love with this woman and he was going to make her happy.

“Me too, Captain.”

————————————

“Papa, papa, papa!” A little kid, around 6 years old with short dark hair and beautiful grey eyes threw himself at Levi. He catches him almost in midair and makes him sit on his arm and waist.

“What is it, Teo? I’ve told you to not interrupt me while I’m working.” The little kid shrugs his shoulders and purposely hides his face on Levi’s chest.

Levi noticed by the corner of his eye the little girl standing near the door, half of her face looking at him and the kid.

“Alora doesn’t want to play with me and I feel lonely.” His voice makes Levi tremble gently. Who would have thought that the Captain of the Survey Corps was going to be swayed by the adorable side of his older child?

“Alora, come here.” He turns around to the door, the little girl holding onto a dark teddy bear that hanged on her right hand and kept being swept on the floor.

She walked in with her face looking down on the floor. Alora couldn’t lie about it, she was almost scared of her father. He was always so quiet and cold; while she was the opposite. She was curious, a shining sun wherever she went, and a beautiful, intelligent little girl. With only 4 years old she already knew how to do basic math (something her mother continuously felt proud of and mentioned every time).

Levi looked down on her and gently squatted down with Teo on his arms, leading him to stand up on the floor.

Pressing his hand on Alora’s black, long soft hair that fell until her lower back and was tightly put in a ponytail, he smiled at her. Alora looked at her father and smiled back, loving those moments with him.

“Alora, would you like to play with your brother for a little while? Papa has some work to do, but once I’m done I’ll play with both of you. Anything that you want, I’ll play it.” He kept smiling, watching the kids as they celebrated that their dad was finally going to give them some attention. “Go play, kids.”

The kids rushed through the door, running into their rooms to play and have fun with each other.

Letting out a small sigh, Levi got up and sat down on his chair again. He still couldn’t believe he was a father of two children that made his life a whole heaven and a living hell as well.

A knock on the door caught him slightly by surprise, turning his attention towards now the person standing at the door.

He stared up and down at his wife, and how the dress made her look so irresistibly gorgeous.

She smiled at him and entered the room without invitation. Holding on her back for support, or for pain, she finally stood next to him. A hand pressed on Levi’s left shoulder, making Levi close his eyes and sigh again, loving so much her touch.

“You must be exhausted, Levi. Are you sure you can’t just finish this later? I could really use a massage, you know.” She leaned down a little bit, rubbing her nose on his cheek and ear.

“I have to finish today. I’ll be done soon.” Sighing once again, he let go of his desire to stop working and just let her shower him in affection and love.

“You’re so tense, dear.” Her hands touched his shoulders and made pressure on her hands to make him feel at ease. Levi’s head fell back a little bit, seeing his wife enjoying giving him all the love and attention he needed.

“Go do something else, brat. You’re always trying to make me feel good. I’m fine.” Levi pushed his body upwards, breaking the contact of her hands on his shoulders. She chuckled, understanding that Levi didn’t wanted to feel vulnerable at the state of tension he was in.

“Alright, Captain.” She makes the old salute, making Levi tremble at the sight. Even so, she continues to smile, leaning down on him to kiss him on the lips real quick.

“Tsk... idiot.” As soon as he said that, his body lay back at the chair, resting himself on it as he watched his wife walk away with a smile.

As soon as he heard his wife say dinner was ready, his body immediately got up and walked to the living room, seeing how the kids ran to the table. Getting from behind Alora, he helped her get on the chair. Giving her a short smile, Levi sat down at his respective chair, not having any other option than watching his wife put the plates and utensils at the table.

Levi always loved watching his wife do housework. He was a clean freak, and noticing how she always tried her best to keep everything tidy up and clean, made him love her even more. It wasn’t rude or anything, Levi helped a lot in the chores, helping whenever he wasn’t doing his own work.

“You’re slacking off, Levi.” She smiled, putting down the utensils next to his plate. He looked up at her, and her eyes shined to him. God, he could loose himself with just a stare.

“I’m tired.” He said with a sigh, resting on the chair.

“You could finish up quickly, papa.” Teo’s small voice makes Levi smile. His ear rings to that voice and he just enjoy his son’s voice.

“Yes, papa. You have to play with us.” Alora smiles while her mother pours some food on her plate.

“I know, kids.” His wife presses her thumbs to Levi’s nape, slowly rubbing it.

“Papa will be busy, but I’m sure he’ll take some time to play with you, kids. Right, darling?” Levi lets his neck fall back a little bit and looks up at her staring into his eyes. A faint blush covers his cheeks and he tries his best to hide it, yet she already notices.

“Yeah.” Mumbles, staring down at the food that was being served.

After they finished eating, Levi went back to his studio, trying as fast as he could to finish his work.

With a loud sigh, he finally finished doing all the things he had to do. He got up the chair, stretched his back and walked over to the room in where the kids were playing.

Standing on the entrance of the room, Levi let his back touch the wall and just decided to stare for a little bit at the kids giggling and playing.

He never had a childhood like that. All he knew while growing up was self defense. He knew how to stab, how to kill, how to defend himself. Levi didn’t know what other feelings were. The emotions he was feeling right now while watching his daughter show him her doll and his son the little train he got for his birthday, he didn’t know what that was called.

Knowing well enough how to battle an enemy, Levi never thought he would have to be fighting himself over and over in the future. He thought, maybe, after marrying her and starting a new life he would stop all those thoughts. And he did stop those thoughts. The birth of Teo brought into his life a whole new meaning that he didn’t know he needed so much.

Levi found love.

“Papa, papa! Come! Play with us.” The little girl’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. Looking up and down at her, he smiled, walking over to them and joining their small party.

Levi tucked both kids into bed. He wore them out enough for them to be knocked down cold into a huge sleep. Sliding the blanket over Teo and Alora, Levi kissed their small little forehead. If Erwin saw him right now he would have been surprised at the sight of weakness Levi was showing. “What would he say about this?”, Levi thought while staring down at the little girl holding tight her small bear. Nevertheless, Levi didn’t care. All he cared about were those kids and his wife. Erwin was long gone and he knew that if he saw that, Erwin would have been so proud of him. Levi found exactly what Erwin wanted for him, and what he wanted as well. No thoughts would change his mind on what his ex-Commander and best friend would have thought in that situation. Erwin would have been happy.

Turning off the light, Levi closed the door to the room and walked over to the room he shared with his wife.

And there she was, looking over at the door in wait for her husband. She smiled, opening her arms so she could get Levi next to her.

“Tsk. You’re a needy brat.” He crossed his arms, but still walked up to her. She grabs his hand and detangle them from his chest. Bringing him close to her, making him sit down on the bed, she gently pressed his hand on her belly.

Levi felt a knock, a kick, that startled him a lot. A life was in there. His next child was there. Levi finally understood that feeling. He felt it when Teo came the first time and when Alora also came. The feeling of being alive.

“It keeps kicking. It’s so funny.” She whispers near Levi’s shoulder, letting her head fall on his shoulder.

“He wants to kill you. I’ll kill him if he comes out like the other two. Disorganized and dirty.” His comment makes her laugh and Levi has no other option than to enjoy it. He wanted to record that in his mind forever. Her voice and her laugh.

“You silly... They are only like that because you let them be. I remember when I was a Captain and every time I saw you, you were scolding the cadets for leaving dirt everywhere.” She makes him remember, and he just snickers. He really was a strict Captain. And still, he always got the job done.

“I lived so long in dirty and dark places... I didn’t wanted HQ to be the same.” After he finishes talking, he feels another kick, letting go of a small smile.

“The HQ was bland. It was colorless. It reek of death and broken dreams. I didn’t like that so much.” She closes her eyes and rubs Levi’s hand over her belly.

“We didn’t have time to be thinking of colors. We were always living in a die or live situation.” She nods on his shoulder.

“I agree.”

“We should head to bed.” Levi mumbles again, not wanting to take his hand away from her belly or the warmth of her hand on his.

“Mhmm... let’s stay like this for a little while more. I missed your scent.” Her whisper makes Levi shiver, yet he only lets a small grunt come out of his throat, responding to her.

The small shallow breaths she was taking, the thumb rubbing on his hand, her hair falling on his shoulder and her thighs pressing on him made Levi so renewed. At the end of the day, all the tiredness faded away when she was there with him.

He knew she had her eyes closed, she was just resting on his shoulder. Yet, he wanted to look at her, kiss her, hold her, do everything he could think of even if she had a belly growing up. She has done so much for him and continues to do so by loving him every single day of their lives.

Levi slowly pulled his hand away from her belly and her, but now press it on her cheek. She opened her eyes and leaned back from his shoulder, now staring at him with bags under her eyes.

She was fucking stunning even when she was tired.

Letting his fingers roam from her cheek to her ear, pushing the hair to the back of her neck and ear; Levi cut the distance between each other and kisses her. Slowly, shaking and almost afraid of being too aggressive even if he wasn’t. Her hand found Levi’s shirt and gripped it. He pressed his other hand on her cheek and hold her face steady for him to kiss her better. Licking on her lip slowly, he went back and devoured her lips once again, showing off his dominating side.

Hearing her small moan, he let go of her. Staring deeply into her eyes, the small faint blush on her cheeks made him smirk. He loved making her flustered.

Slowly, but surely, Levi pressed his nose against her nose and gave her a lovely Eskimo kiss.

“I love you, Captain.” She said first, leaving him speechless once again like always.

He stared at her up and down, watching her completely. She always had this effect on him. Not for nothing they were married. Even so, Levi couldn’t be so easily frank like her. He loved her, but saying it was so difficult for him. Yet, when seeing her eyes shine the same way it did when they kissed for the first time, Levi couldn’t let her be disappointed on himself. He loved this woman with all of his life.

The woman who saved his life.

“I love you, too, (Y/N).”

————————————

“I’M NOT LEAVING HIM BEHIND, JEAN!!!!” The small faint voices of a girl during a silent world, were being simply shouted against the noise.

“We have to leave. We need to help Armin and Mikasa. If you stay here, we’ll be loosing you too, Captain. Please, reason with me here. We already lost Connie and Reiner is seriously injured. We need you.” Jean tried his best to reason with the girl who fearlessly continued to cry and shout at the tall man.

“NO!!! I CAN’T LEAVE HIM!!” She cries out, her tears falling in Jean’s arms and onto the floor.

“I understand, Captain. But Captain Levi wouldn’t want you to stay here and do nothing. We must continue to fulfill his wish and save the world. Please...” He couldn’t hold her anymore. She kept screaming while trying to push Jean away so she could hold her lover’s body on her arms. “CAPTAIN, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!”

He let go of her and she fell on her knees, scrapping them against the rocks and sand. Yet, it didn’t hurt. Her body was numb to the exterior damage. She just couldn’t react to any of that. All she could do was cry and cry and keep crying.

Her body crawled closed to her lover’s body and she grabbed his bloody hand.

When did that happened? How did it happened? Where was she? How did she let that happen?

She kept questioning herself over and over again into the smallest details. Levi’s death was upon her and she couldn’t help but blame herself.

Levi’s soulless body was laying on the ground, his left arm missing and his left leg. He was not coming back from this one and she knew it. After everything she promised. After everything she tried to do to keep him safe, she failed every and each of those promises.

“Wake up, Levi... Yo-You... you promised... You pro-promised we were going to live. You promised ME you were going to live. You promised, you promised, you promised... YOU PROMISED!!!” Her shouts could be heard all over the quiet ambient. Jean let some tears fall down as well, his head falling forward to not be seen weak.

She grabbed Levi’s body and got him close to her, pushing his face near her and sobbing. Tears falling down on Levi’s face, almost washing away the dirt and the blood. She just couldn’t believe that was happening. Levi was actually dead, his body resting on her arms.

“You promised... we were going to have kids... and live happy in a little house on the woods! We were going to raise our children the way they never raised us. Please... please... Levi, please, I love you. Don’t go... don’t leave me!”

The sound of her sobbing suddenly were muffled by extremely loud crashing sounds.

Jean looked over to where the sound came and his eyes became plates. He quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her forcefully, making her shriek and cry harder.

“Captain, Armin is in trouble. We need you. I know it hurts. I know you and Levi had dreams. But right now, if you don’t stand and get your shit together, everything that Captain Levi fought for will be for nothing! DEDICATE YOUR HEART!” Her red face and covered with tears, dust and blood suddenly came to a halt.

Levi wouldn’t wanted her to be like this and not in that moment. She gazed at Levi’s body on the floor one last time, got closed to it, kneeled down and after crying out her last tears, she gave him a farewell kiss.

She wiped her tears off and got up, her face drastically changing to pure anger.

“Let’s save humanity, Jean. DEDICATE YOUR HEART, SOLDIER!!”

The End

Thank you so much for reading.

Have a good day or night, darling. 🥰