#“I guess I dont have a choice.”
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Every time I try not to have an ego I proceed to absolutely slay in whatever field I end up in and people think I'm really cool. Like. Is it having an inflated ego if it's just pattern recognition?
#im just saying that this keeps happening#i mean i did have a god complex but that was when I was nine years old#now? i mean I know Im cool but every time i doubt that i get proven wrong#its like that one vine#“i dont wanna be cool anymore!!” [throws off sunglasses and they bounce back onto me perfectly]#“I guess I dont have a choice.”#[suck guitar riff]#xer's rambles#this is one of the posts of all time#one of the Xerith posts of all time#the quality content my many followers are here for
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misc prehistoric fishes i've been doodling between today and yesterday
#aquatic#paleoart#digital art#fish#art#prehistoric#i would like to point out that the helicoprion/aquilolamna/dunky having scales/finrays is entirely an stylization choice#i guess#i tried my best to balance stylization and scientific accuracy so dont flare at me for dat lawl
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Genuinely being a single woman in my thirties, living alone, is such a mixed blessing sometimes. I do love my house and when I'm here I literally never want to leave. But on the other hand, I do get tired of leaving to go hang out with people, even though I love seeing them. Especially because I have such a great group of friends but they live all over the place, geographically, and therefore most of them don't know each other. And I actually really love hosting? But I never have people in my house because logistically it's always more practical for me to go to them than vice versa.
But sometimes I buy new old dishes and wanna just have a little fancy wizard party, but all my guests are far away. Please may I have the teleport spell. Or a high-speed commuter rail system.
#Hazard of moving to a city where i dont have people locally i guess#a very insular city at that#and honestly i am not lonely! I have lovely freinds! But I do miss the college days of everyone basically living in walking distance#in one city#as opposed to now#where DND takes me the width of the state on a weekly basis#usually the only time there are groups of people in my house is around christmas for the family holidays#and like...in the overall balance of my life this works#me going to my people is the logical choice#and its not a bad thing#but most of my friend groups are...local clusters where I am the out-of-towner these days#which again: fine; i knew that going in when I decided to move where I did and overall its the best call#but also sometimes I want to just load up the whole crew in detroit and tell them we're heading to mine this time#dont worry there'll be fancy little finger sammiches when we get there#just give me an excuse to use the wizard plates
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coelacanter + socials
#amy mentioned that devyn's mullet was like someone chewed on it and the troll doll imagery would not leave me#infamous#infamous if#marlow locke#coelacanter#kaced#fake social media#i dont want to HEAR how out of touch i am i dont use instagram or twitter i had to guess at syntax/usernames#also the cropping for the group photo ended up so strangely with the instagram post format i ended up going with so i just#worked it into the comments section. same with iris' outfit i realized way too late she should've had something fancier </3#i thought rowan would be the type to point out something like that. he'd have a choice instagram with pictures cropped and edited perfectly#iris posts a photo of her and devyn and he'll comment 'very cute. were you asleep when picking this filter though or..?'#also i know this is funny to genuinely no one else but i briefly debated having maya make the fan name “the canners”#as if the band name was “can't-er” not “canter”#(they're just 'fishies') but i wanted to incorporate it somehow hence the gc name and that one fan's username#coelacanter? no. we coelacan... ner <3
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Haven't flexed for the internet in a while.
#me#i dont really like my new gym but i guess i dont really have a choice and its only for the next 8 months#i have to be considerate about balancing gym and art/school so i dont end up overexerting and injuring myself#ngl i was fantasizing about bulking up again to recover the 20ish lbs ive lost this year from injury and burnout#but i think its for the best to keep things where they are so i dont push myself too hard and hurt my joints again#i need to focus on art/school more than anything else since my life and future depend on it and i cant afford to fuck it up
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thinkingg
about things
in the alt text with some notes
#apologies for my sense of fashion its all just layers and no trinkets 😭#too scared to lose them irl#anyways i dont have too much more thoughts about this aside from maybe lore adaptation changes and some#cool new shiny puffy winter jacket for gibby as a h1 era design choice in exchange for the astronaut suit#i thought about this taking place in a small town where gibby was ruling like a mayor or something and the crew was tired of it#or just a block with a yard inside and all of them act childish on a playground there#cannot choose between global and local here LOL i want them to explode the moon!! but at the same time NO!!!#theyre just a gang that hangs out sometimes in free time#thought about possible pongormas past here. i dont think its anything light#whats up with wayne what is he doing? uhhhh just existing i guess- maybe in the process of finding true passion or maybe following old#waynes directions? could be anything#up to you really if anyone wants to think about this as well. no pressure#hylics#hylics 2#somsnosa#dedusmuln#wayne hylics#decres hylics#pongorma#artstump#drawing art is patiently trying to find exact words for a coffee machine part on pinterst and getting mad at all coffee aesthetics and brew#ing tips and finding exact wording so it doesnt sound awkward. this trains me to write a fanfic at some point of unknown kind#maybe a coffee machine related one. im well versed on the subject now yessss -_- xD
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Genuinely think some folks need to remove how we, the audience, see characters and relationships from an outside perspective from how those characters actually interact. Like y'all ask for nuance and I'm telling you that just because Nancy has gone through trauma and absolutely deserves to be as messy and complicated and hurt as she wants, doesn't mean Robin wouldn't think twice about dating her?
It's not about whose fault it is or centering a male character, it's about how Robin, the character, would interpret and internalize the facts she knows. She has no idea what exactly Nancy has been through, like we have. She encouraged Steve and Nancy in S4 to get back together, she comforted him when Nancy went straight back to Jonathan. Robin's place as Steve's best friend, someone she trusts implicitly, the person she wants to combine with, puts Steve as an important aspect of her life!
It's not that she hates Nancy! It's that even though they broke up a year and a half ago, there's some unresolved or redeveloping feelings there for Steve. It's not that I think Steve could/would/should be hurt or angry about his best friend dating his ex. It's that, in my opinion, Robin, from what we see of her, doesn't seem inclined to date a friend's ex. It's about Robin, and her personality, and that means her friendship and love of Steve.
#anti ronance#finda's rambles#stranger things#idk its about robin for me. she would put her friendship with steve above a romantic relationship with anyone#struggling to put this into words but its frustrating when people claim we're making it about steve when i dont feel that way#to me im prioritizing Robin. and stobin i guess#it also seems like people hate being reminded that robin wants to live in steves brain. and that WOULD factor into her choices#that may affect him. yknow. like dating his ex.#its got nothing to do with how i feel about the stancy breakup (messy but if they TALKED could be worked through)#i also don't think they're compatible and have multiple reasons i simply don't vibe with the ship#but those aren't misinterpreted just ignored i guess
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Ok but how do they fuck up so badly that the ancient doesn't get the fest tert???????
#like i dont even care that much for rockbreaker or dusthides but this is just really bad choice#i guess i have to wait another year to get my ancient earth flighr rep....#tiel diaries
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i really like a lot of the banter in veilguard, it's one of the few times the companions can actually exchange some verbal jabs especially at the start of the game. i've said repeatedly that this game is lacking friction and i stand by that ☝️ i think the problem isn't that they all automatically get along, some of them don't at all in the beginning-- Davrin and Lucanis i think are the most obvious, and Taash and Emmrich as well-- but the thing is. Rook just speaks their therapy-speak to them and suddenly it's all fine. we don't see a lot of the friction in cutscenes or significant questlines, only in banter.
again there is Davrin and Lucanis of course who i do think are the most successful and organic relationship in the game. and that's because we actually get to see them go from being hostile to supporting and ultimately liking each other, and it feels born out of mutual respect rather than Rook forcing them to hold hands.
i like a lot of Bellara and Neve's banter as well, and they seem to spend a lot of time together at the start of the game when there's not that many people at the Lighthouse yet, and Neve consistently shows up for Bellara during her story. i also like Neve and Lucanis together, they're very cute. there are definitely friendly relationships that feel natural, but then there are moments like where Taash bulldozes over Bellara when discussing Mythal's and Solas's relationship, and Bellara isn't allowed to snap back at Taash for being disrespectful. she (+ elven Rook) are also never allowed to call out Harding for her racism, we either have to agree or just not acknowledge it and always be really really nice to Harding specifically.... and i think little moments of friction within actual main plot beats and significant cutscenes (like is done with Davrin and Lucanis) would have made a lot of the dynamics more interesting rather than just dancing around it and relegating it to banter or limited interactions you could ultimately miss if you don't have them constantly in your party/aren't constantly checking in at the Lighthouse. also companion approval should actually matter and they should be allowed to vocally disapprove of Rook's choices.
#does this make sense? idk#i think of like. fenris and anders for example. they begrudgingly work together but are both friends with hawke#they dont just automatically become friends at any point. they have issues and while they both support hawke#the game never forces them to just get along for the sake of it#but theyre all still a part of the same friend group and still do have interactions together#like u actually get disapproval from them for doing certain things and they'll Tell you so. but veilguard companions don't#there are only 3 times i can think of where companions vocally disagree#the mayor at dmeta's crossing & the treviso vs minrathous choice & punching the first warden#otherwise. nothing#the approval/disapproval system literally does not do anything at all except for that very first choice at the start of the fucking game#and you can easily win all of neve's approval back almost immediately. the only real consequence is with lucanis#who i believe gets locked out and can't be romanced if you lose treviso#i guess to be fair there really arent that many main plot choices for rook to make that would piss anyone off so lol. theyre always Right#it feels like the only way to get disapproval/lose companions is to just Not do their quests at all#datv spoilers#datv critical#i guess but not as serious lmao#da posting
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[Text Transcript: "Big brother, // yesterday I had a dream // that everything changed. // The sky was the color of blood, // and everywhere I looked, // I could not see a single sight // I recognized, // Including this body."]
#iwatex#sym exocolonist#my evil scribbles#I have a lot of thoughts about sym and his having future visions too...#for stylistic purposes noctilucent gets the brother title and im so sorry...... I know nocts a they them#n everyone always misgenders them already vv; or I guess insert unnamed other gardener of your choice#if its unclear its the stratos crashing down and exuding an unnatural greenblue cloud which is what unnerves sym about it-#-because what the fuck is green#had this sitting around for a while but decided I dont really wanna do rendering or whatever#i was a teenage exocolonist#digital art
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do yall see my vision?
#guess who has been reading the jeweler richard LN#im on volume 4 rn#anyway i always thought seigi's crush on tanimoto reminded me of watanuki and his feelings for himawari#i would also put them in the same category of 'hetero-bait' so to speak where they introduce a 'female love interest'#and then later establish her as not a romantic choice for the mc and then they're gay instead#its all subtext in xxxholic but man.......its just text in jeweler richard#also when reading volume 2 of JR i was like 'richard reminds me of someone.........' and then i realized its abeno#abeno haruitsuki is like if richard was in highschool and not the lord of sweets#i actually dont remember if ashiyan is that down bad for abeno but i know abeno is bad for him#hes still got that 'i cant leave you alone' energy especially halfway through when sakae starts showing up#seigi and ashiya have that in common too they both have daddy issues#should i have put that instead?#im too lazy to change it#i really need to reread fukimono i miss them so much#abeshiya is like an old friend to me#jeweler richard#nakata seigi#fukigen na mononokean#ashiya hanae#xxxholic#watanuki kimihiro
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the way evanora possesses agatha again when she says "i can be good", like she wants to prove her own view that her daughter cant be. making alice attack her evanora, almost recreating what happened in the trial a little bit, making this new coven see what agatha will do (again, not on purpose), and making them turn on her
#i dont think evanora is like. evil. i mean no ones evil i guess but thats also kind of the point with all of these witches right?#esp for jac schaeffer it seems#anyway i think evanora was in a position where she didnt feel like she had any other options#and it's a very intense choice to make she raised this kid for 18 years#and im not sure how full a person a ghost is#'emotion ties them to this plane' and all that#ghosts might just be like kinda like this frozen traumatic moment#so i think evanora's ghost is less complex than evanora the woman#but i think also that evanora the woman HAD to tell herself 'you were born evil' to be able to like come to this course of action at all#you have to tell yousrelf SOMETHING right? something convincing enough to commit murder#i think that agatha was born evil was a justification she told herself to be able to go through with the trial#i dont think her mother believed that all of agathas life. i dont think she even believed it except for that she needed to#but as a ghsot shes stuck in that traumatic moment same as agatha#and so agatha has to hear this#this justification for why she deserves to die and will destroy any coven shes part of
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"the vast majority of legal persecution against early queers was focused on men" ARE YOU INSANE
#rot.txt#DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG WOMEN WERE FORCED TO MARRY MEN OR DIE. HUH. WHERE AM I#this is from the section in the new hbomberguy video where he talks about james somertons misogyny and lesbophobia btw#SOMEONES BITTER THAT WOMEN KISS IN CARTOONS SOMETIMES!!!#AS IF THAT ERASES THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF MISOGYNY IN SO MANY CULTURES!!!!!!! GOOD GOD#sorry somerton is just so insanely stupid i cant get over it. why is he like that#like i dont know maybe this isnt important but i remember being asked as a kid to pick a greek city state to live in#but i was a girl. so none of them were good choices because apparently i would be forced to have children no matter which one i picked#and i guess it just stuck with me. if the boys liked to fight they got to pick sparta and if they liked to read then it was athens#but what did the girls get. a little more freedom in certain places but ultimately the same expectation. have babies or die#in hindsight there were definitely options in ancient greece#but my teacher didnt tell us that. we just had to write about whether we would like to have slightly more rights or not#OBVIOUSLY gay men have historically faced discrimination but saying that it wasnt as focused on women is just unbelievably stupid#sorry i dont know if any of this made sense#lesbophobia tw#misogyny tw
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Gabe's death didn't have as much weight in the series as it did in the books
However, I think it's a bit symbolic that his last scene was like his first scene: Invading other people's privacy without caring about what others think
The difference, however, is that this time he paid the price for his actions.
#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo series#percy series#pjo tv show#gabe pjo#pjo spoilers#IMPORTANT NOTE: Sally still made the choice to sell him#I guess#The episode let me satisfied#Have a difference for the books? Sure#Some are terrible? Yes#But you cant deny that some of them were good#Personaly I prefered the fight between Luke and Percy then the Scorpion#But the fight with Ares were better in the books#I also liked that we can see Annie reaction to the betrayal (?)#I'm not sure if we can see her reaction in the books but if I remember corretly we dont#So yeah#It's a cool séries#But like every piece of media that is based on a book: The books are better
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so i went to grad yesterday
rambling in the tags
#dani says stuff#i have... a lot of thoughts#im still thinking a lot of thoughts#i guess this counts as vent art/???? fdjkkjds#im just idk man the industry is rough rn#and i understand that it goes through its ups and downs i knew that when i jumped into the deep end#but this was the cherry on top of a cake#i truly felt like i was in a sitcom and they were gonna roll credits any moment#its just... such a choice of topic to say to the graduating batch from the school of creative media arts#in the age where meta wont let you opt out of their ai scraping tech#and adobe is claiming rights to artists work to train their own ai#its hard not to feel disheartened a lil tbh#three years of working myself to the bone only to get that at the end of it all#i laugh about it because if i dont i just get more upset#and honestly something about the sheer absurdity of it all does make it funny in a weird way#oh well back to drawing my silly little ocs it is <3#vent art
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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