#“I am disabled please communicate with me negative I wish to communicate with you

[blue-survey]

This is how I will tell people I have autism.

[cardnompfs]

With how things are doing in the community i do admit i have been feeling uncomfortable with how things going

But before anyone ask, No i am not leaving or deleting my blog-

I think this is enough negativity for the week honestly, We've entered a new month and I don't want it to be rough either.

I will recommend that it probably best to move on from the situation and ignore it, It sucks that it happened overall but i don't wanna waste my energy on it and i would believe you folks would rather not either. So it's better to move on and ignore this further since it's not going anywhere anyhow

And with the recent harassment the community gotten with anons sending death threats i can recommend you lots to report and/or block the anon whose sent these to the staff. Or if it's keep happening then disable the anonymous asks, even if some lurkers might not like it. It's better for your own mental health

If anyone wanna like talk to someone do feel free to chat, with me or someone you like or admire. You aren't alone in this afterall

Please stay safe though, I wish you all the best, That is all..!

[thecutecoresys]

Hello! I wouldn't call myself an anti, I'm more or less just morbidly curious about your community but would never personally join it based on my own standing on a lot of what you guys accept, though I don't think a lot of what you guys are doing is really that harmful to others so I don't really? Hate the community? Idk. I just have a question I wished to ask as I'm curious, answer if you want you can tell me to fuck off as well.

Mainly I'm just curious on what made you decide to become a radqueer, and perhaps how you figured out what you're experiencing is a 'transid'. I myself am a part of a system so I do feel more connected with some basic transid's I won't lie, but I really don't grasp trans disabilities or mental illnesses in the slightest, why would you want something like that? Not to be rude just extremely curious. Or trans races or ethnicities.

Have a good day! I am sending this out to multiple people, I enjoy hearing multiple perspectives.

F; Anya, Curly, Jimmy Honestly we only really got into the radqueer community when our partner kind of became hyperfixated on it. We were very anti and thought transids were just an excuse for people to be racist and abelist but as he read me some transid's some alters of ours started heavily latching to them and finding comfort in the labels. Our opinions on radqueer do tend to vary from alter to alter though. Some alters, like our Swansea for example, think it is kind of stupid. Our collective stance on it is the same as our stance on shipping though: Who the fuck cares? If it isn't hurting anyone then what is the problem? ALSO there are many reasons someone may identify with transids. The obvious answer would be they want to but for some transids like in our experience (which of course is not universal) some of our alters identify as TransRaped even if we had those experiences bodily. It gives us a sense of power over that experience. It's weird but it has heavily aided in our healing over it. Another example is how we identify as TransWheelchairUser, we are quite possibly going to be an ambulatory wheelchair user in the future and to cope with that harsh reality we are taking the fear and negativity away by just accepting it as a positive and looked forward to experience. Not every transid we have it explainable though. Take Strawberrycremescentian for example; We just want to smell like strawberry's and cream! Or GlitterBodic; We just want our blood to be glittery! Some ids are just for fun! To be honest; as an alter I don't get it that much but as I said: It's not hurting anyone. If one of us wants to go by PermaStoner or TransHarmed then so be it. I really enjoyed this question tbh please don't feel afraid to ask for clarification or anything :)

[draincode]

Pixel.

This is my final message in the hopes I'll ever get to talk to you. I know you are afraid of me, and it still hurts. Once again I am trying to say that I am sorry. Sorry for upsetting you, sorry for offending you, please stop locking me away. How long will it take? I've tried and tried and tried to own up, made fanfics that took me nights of not sleeping because I was so focused on them.

Please... I want to be able to love and play Raincode again. But if you're not happy with me then I can't bring myself to play it again. I told you that I'm very sensitive too, and I can't just learn that lesson and move on. This is constantly hurting me deep inside. Day after day. So I'm begging.... Please can we talk, just us two. I'll try not to make it too long or anything. I know now that you hate anything negative or too heavy. This eternal punishment is my lesson, one I've lived with for years. I've tried so so hard to find an online community to fit into.

As someone who is autistic, I talk differently than most people, that's why I don't know online etiquette or anything. I struggle to understand that stuff.

Here, this will explain my situation better.

Please....

Listen to me

I am tired of constantly getting out of my comfort zone to try and prove that I'm a real human being. That the person people have banned and ignored is someone who is constantly struggling to find a place to belong.

I cared about you. Stranger or not. I wanted to reach out to you because I thought you felt sad as you weren't being recognised by a community. Something I could relate to as it's been my constant life torture. I'm sorry if relating to myself was too much... And I've lived with the guilt of it.

I just want to talk to you. Instead of having other people talk for you. Because I've had that before, and it feels two faced... Like, not honest. I felt as if your friends were trying to push me further away from you and the community, even if politely. Like I was a constant threat.

This is really destroying my soul. Please pixel.... Just find some time to talk to me. I'm probably more afraid than you are, I'm especially terrified about what I can say to people online now. I'm praying. I need to believe that deep down you are a kind hearted person who does care about the people in your community, not all of us know how we should talk specifically online. We all should have the freedom to speak however we are comfortable. So long as it's not anything illegal or extremely offensive.

Yes. I did delete my Tumblr account. I couldn't handle it anymore. All the hard work I put into with trying to own up to you is all gone... I doubt you even saw it. I've felt too afraid to even look at your blog because of the guilt I've felt, I've not touched the game as well since. I hate annoying people, I want peace, to feel accepted. Without being seen as a pest. I loved Raincode so much, it was among my favourite games, and I was just settling into doing my own Raincode posts before all this. I aim to make people happy, and will constantly feel bad if I've said anything wrong. I may have said some harsh things but I instantly regret them. I've always wished that I could be a normal person so that I can talk properly like everyone else without screwing up.

Playing or even looking at anything related to Raincode would just remind me of my own mistake. I don't feel like I deserve to play the game when I've upset a loyal fan who means so much to the community. Compared to you I feel inferior, and i don't believe that I should exist on this platform or touch the game anymore if nothing is working. If you and the community really don't want me around. Please don't see this as a guilt trip... That's not my intention at all, I just need you to understand my situation over this matter. I don't want anyone's pity, or them to worry about me. I even prevent my friends from worrying about me because it wouldn't be right to get them involved in my battles. And yes, I was on my own during that incident, so I didn't have anyone to turn to. I'm used to it but it's extremely hard.

But I have a tiny speck of hope. That's getting more and more faint. This is the final time I'll try again. To reach out to you. In fact.... Please hear my voice for real.

I really am sorry.

I pray that you and everyone in the community had a merry Christmas. And will have a wonderful rest of the year. If you don't ever want to talk to me then I'll back away for life, I may never move on from it like the DQ community which I still have never played a Dragon Quest game to this day since being rejected from the community years prior. However, it was an honour to have met you, even if it was in the worst way. I wish we could be casual friends, or just people who can chat to each other about video games. Anyway.

Yours sincerely

Ice Dragon 19 (the perma banned)

[sailoragere]

In terror but bold

(I wrote this approximately year ago but I'm reposting it here)

I re-emerge a little braver as the, (presumable), pioneer of this headcanon. As a life-long age regressor myself from trauma, I’ve held onto this interpretation of Minako being an age regressor for similar reasons for many years, fearful and possessive of others (notably “those communities”), stealing and tainting an idea so precious to me.

This can apply to canon AND/or within AU (the latter IS where this began, after all), but let’s try to narrow the scope to canon for just this once. Keep in mind this is 90s anime focused. Also, although I don’t closely follow the manga or Crystal/Eternal/Cosmos, I’m open to hearing how Minako being an age regressor could work into other iterations!)

You may leave comments and reach out to me, but reblogging will be disabled. Just like last time, not brave enough. Yet? Maybe someday…

EDIT: I will allow reblogs after all. But be warned

I honestly would cry and thr*w up whether I attract positive OR negative attention with this ridiculous balls-deep epic of mine. Just please I'm begging of you, don't even interact if you're nasty. I am very against those labels and what they encompass and will not hesitate to block you.

Inevitably, this will reach essay length and be comprised of infodumping to an extent. I’m autistic, I headcanon Minako and Usagi being AUDHD, and Sailor Moon is my SI,so yeah—I’ll try my best to highlight the key points and not make it too TL;DR. Prepare yourself, because this will be a lot. Both literally and emotionally a lot.

Contains spoilers; for those who wish to avoid those!

TW (Trigger Warning): for mentions, descriptions of self harm, talk about agere negativity, people/communities who fetishize regression, considerably heavy topics, harsh realities/canon (for real, coming back to this, I realized it's kinda brutal oops), some swearing.

Yeah uh. I wouldn't read this at all while regressed.

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Consider, Minako who learns she experiences age regression.

She gets to the point of playing the body double part of the princess so flawlessly, she can’t so easily find in herself where “the princess” ends and where “Minako” comes back in anymore.

Does this whole thing start during Classic? Oh, I’m thinking it could very well have. While Minako stayed often guarded around the others, and in a leadership mindset throughout, there were little moments between she and Usagi wherein they felt on the same level. That could be attributed to Mina already trusting and openly loving her long lost princess, not really caring how she’s perceived by Usagi as much as Rei, Ami, and Mako. She wants to make a lasting impressive, well, impression.

Regarding mimicking Usagi and playing into regressing, it couldn’t have been strong, frequent or apparent enough yet in Classic for anyone of them to notice. Not even Minako.

Ever so slowly fitting her piece into the friendship puzzle. Spending much more time together in a group, attending the hanami picnic, joining in the Snow White play, eventual integration into their strategy meetings at the Shrine… until about halfway through R that Minako opens up even more to the rest of the girls. Including giving it her all to step up and help them while they were sick, despite mostly failing and inadvertently torturing her friends…

But, S season and beyond is where she seems to shine and embrace her true self without much inhibition. The third season was also the point in the show when Mina’s onscreen “twinning” with Usagi noticeably increased.

I mean, Minako literally disguised herself as part of a plan. And it worked. She almost blew it by running her mouth, (in an Usagi-like fashion to boot), but it worked.

Therefore, I’d most likely place the scenario of her regression and increased “twinning” occurring anywhere between S and the end of Sailor Stars.

Suppose the real deal begins as an in-group joke that keeps going on right after she disguised herself. It’s funny at first. Mina puts her hair again in that wonky version of Usagi’s odango to humor everyone and herself.

“Oh, we do look so similar!”

“Could they actually be twins?”

The other three all pretend to mistake one blonde for the other, at times, poking fun at both Usagi and her. Minako could’ve been the princess, see? She can play the part AND protect Usagi!

Then all of a sudden, Ami is helping Minako more with studying and generally communicating more. Calling and checking up on her unprompted, comforting her. Those two are said to have the weakest friendship in the group, so it’s surprising and unsettling at first coming from Ami.

Makoto is more lenient and gives in to Minako’s abnormally childish chaos. She stops inviting her out to shop and spar together, instead waking first thing to walk with her to school, much to Mina's confusion. Making and bringing her her favorite food and sweets. Mako makes a beeline to protect and stand over her shoulder just a little more.

Rei on the other hand, is beginning to talk down to, criticize and spark silly arguments with Minako, just like she does with Usagi. She is now finding herself attached to Minako and Usagi’s shenanigans to an almost equal degree.

If it takes place after SuperS, the outers could very well be doing similar things. Would they be patronizing about it though? I haven’t watched up to that point in the anime yet, and don’t have as good understanding of their characters as the inners. So I’ll leave that part up to outside interpretation for right now.

Mars and Jupiter are alike in battle, rather than meeting Venus on the same playing field or following her leader command, they’re calling the shots. Tuxedo Mask shields her in his cape, treating her like a sister. (Earth and Venus joke lol we'll get to that in length another time), Chibi-Usa scrutinizes, plays, and fights with her, but is right by Venus’s side during an enemy fight. Just like a miniature Rei.

Initially, Usagi super minds all this, gets defensive and prickly as usual when being teased in that manner by her friends and also feeling kinda ignored, replaced even. So can Minako please not dress or act like her anymore? Please take out the buns, Minako. But knowing Usagi, at the same time, she’s probably the very first one to find Mina’s act concerning and worry about her.

To Minako, it feels all part of the ongoing joke at first. From just laughing it off, to the hand waving, weak protesting insisting they give it up.

The more she puts on the “Princess” act, play-squabbling with Rei over the littlest things (can’t really tell whether Rei’s serious or playing too), merciless begging for tutoring from Ami, climbing all over Mako, making her be her chariot when she’s the slightest bit tired, fake pouting and crying at the drop of a hat, feigning further clumsiness, snacking and lazing about, skipping school and training. Minako being content with Usagi peddling the bike every next time.

It becomes harder for her to abstain from body doubling. That almost familiar naivety becomes some sort of a comfort and a habit, like breaking something and always having someone bigger and stronger sweep the glass away. Out of sight, out of mind. Playing ‘the delicate flower’, the most precious lovable fabled savior of the universe, being treated and seen as a twin, she falls head over heels for this extra attention and later takes full advantage of it.

After a few weeks, this “joke” Minako created still hasn’t fizzled out for anyone. It seems to get dig deeper and deeper in her head, and their continued treatment of her isn't making anything easier. The longer this act goes on, the more it grates down on her deep seeded insecurities. She grows anxious and desperate.

Could it be that everyone caught on as well and has been acting out of concern the entire time?

If Usagi figures her out, however soon she does, does she alert the others?

Or are they all in on some indirect intervention to get Minako to realize what she’s been doing is foolish and she should just be herself again?

Would the others adore a Venusian princess just as much as one of the moon?

Would everyone love and protect her just the same?

But if they knew the truth, would they turn on her? A traitor to the end?

Now she's kinda spiraling out of control. Minako playing it up even harder in order to figure out the answers. Her original intent for disguising herself in the first place completely out the window. Out of mind, out of sight. She forfeits her volleyball and other athletic skills in favor of incompetent clumsiness. Continues to unintentionally demean Usagi’s feelings instead of encourage them, through her exaggerated immature behavior.

Mina is such a bad girl, she big time fucked up. And now she's shitting all over herself, in addition. Gets in the way and jumps in front of enemy attacks towards her comrades. Venus meets commands rather than giving them, getting bloodied and bruised without a care. Beaming around broken teeth like an ignorant. Committing to this terrible habit of escapism and self harm as a punishment for stepping out of line of duty.

No longer good enough to be the leader. She must be.

What starts out as her leaderly determination to divert the enemy’s attention towards her and protect the princess, ends selfishly on her part. Her resentment grows to cause her to be so fed up with playing the irrationally likable, childish and cute persona. Worrying everybody at this point, including Luna and Artemis, they finally corner her. Artemis will without a doubt be the one to push her over the edge with an insensitive comment that snubs. Being called out and yanked back to reality by your only caring guardian and cat has to sting.

Her mask crackling, she pops like those clay popping videos. She's beyond angry, she's cartoon-style steaming and red-faced while crying, shouting "No," and bellowing-just like when Spongebob got to the breaking point of his cousin Stanley getting throwing him under the bus and breaking his comfort object, his spatula. (I guess it's an off-topic note, but I love this scene in Spongebob, and I can compare his anger to how Minako might feel sometimes.)

They all had the audacity to compare the Goddess Venus to Serenity?! Is that how they actually see her? As a double of Usagi? Some carbon copycat?! Even if Minako portrays the princess without a beat, the actual princess will always come first in line. Why? Even though Sailor V started fighting first. As soon as Venus finally woke up, the whole world forgot all about every aspect of her. Sailor Moon will always be revered. Everybody loves her! It's not fair!! What about Sailor V? She was a hero even before her and did it better! What about Minako? Usagi hasn't been forced to fight all alone! She hasn't had to murder anybody! She didn't have to kill her first crush.

It's always all about Usagi, Sailor Moon, the princess, who gets all the leeway in the galaxy to cry, piss and moan! But whenever Minako reaches out for the love and care of her friends, duty and destiny call and take over the landline. Venus is indebted to her as her inferior for eternity after eternity. She feels she exists as nothing more than to be punished for her past self's failure to save the solar system that time, too. And so should they. Why?! So cruel...

She's feeling 13 again; a naive, selfish, gluttony mess of a teenage girl with the fate of the world suddenly dropped upon her shoulders. Hiding huddled in her bed. Reluctant to fight, thrusted into a nightmare. Normal girl Minako wants to forget. She has to. No one is more shocked than Artemis, of course. Usagi is obviously in tears and blaming herself. The rest are confused and upset, trying to console the pair of utterly frustrated and distressed blondes.

Are Minako and Usagi distanced by their first real argument as a result?

Or do they understand each other better and become closer than ever before?

How do each of the others personally feel about the situation?

It fully occurs to everyone, including Minako, that she has been progressing backward. Regressing.

But this longing for a sensible life was brewing inside her all along. I like to believe what happened is she lost touch with who she was before, after the initial awakening and memory regain, becoming stuck in a state of hyper-responsibility while searching for her fellow reborn comrades. Minako just didn't know how to regain her warrior-naive selfhood. Gaining back the rest of her past life’s memories near the end of Classic stuck the nail in the coffin against ever going back. That wasn't all, either, because she's still uncovering new forgotten memories from that time. Minako knows only how to guide her subordinates through, nothing of how to cope with her own feelings.

I imagine age regression, its reach and research would be especially unheard of prior to the 2000s. (2016 is the assumed year online agere communities first emerged). Daring to explore herself more by pursuing any kind of external help or items like pacifiers would more likely than not be met with misunderstanding, mockery, and ostracization. At least not by her friends, but everyone else. She would probably end up in the wrong spaces like I did back then, falling into a rabbit hole of people who fetishize childhood. Shit's traumatic.

This is something she can't live down. Minako is convinced something's fundamentally wrong with her, that she's weird. That she might even be a pervert of some kind. In conclusion, in canon, it would likely take many years into adulthood for Minako to come to terms with her age regression, if ever.. Okay, I'm f*****g depressed now.

I hope Usagi and her other friends understand. Show their friend more outward care and support, but maybe they don't. Personally I believe in my heart they would, not perfectly, but through trying their best to accomodate Mina when she needs a break from her responsibilities. Sadly, due to the canon being set in the time period of 90s Japan, the result of this tangent is largely unsatisfying, but realistic.

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SFW INTERACTION ONLY, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

[thewomanwholaughed]

I am 25+ and have been roleplaying on tumblr since 2013.

I'm Dollgendered Transfeminine and my pronouns are Doll/Dolls. You may refer to me as Fifi or Doll-mun.

Won't interact with Genderbent characters / blogs with Genderbend themes.

I do not own any of the characters, regions, objects and mythos. These are all owned by DC Comics.

Nothing Joker does, feels, or thinks reflects my personal opinions and beliefs in any way.

Blog covers a variety of triggering topics, all of which will be tagged. If something isn't tagged, or you have a request for something to be tagged: please let me know.

Practices hard/soft blocking. I curate my experience, I hope you do too!

Note:

Allow me to preface this by saying that I in no way advocate for any negative stereotypes. I am a disabled trans woman with a fondness for Joker as a fictional character and villain. The lack of LGBTQA+ positive media is a serious problem and even if things get better it’ll take a lot more effort for LGBTQA+ characters to become so normalized that there won’t be a problem making them a villain or explicitly maliciously evil.

I know that Trans people have been portrayed as the butt of the joke or straight-up malicious in a lot of media, and various harmful stereotypes attached to it. The pick-up in the bar, the deranged serial killer, and so on. I am by no means trying to say that I agree with these takes by writing and roleplaying Joker. But just because someone is LGBTQA+ doesn’t make them a good person, nor should you attack them on the fact that they do belong to that community.

I wanted to play with the various Joker origin stories that often have the same narrative to them: ‘All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.’ I took a spin on this and made the Joker a Transwoman who went through the experience of trying to live in a society that does not accept her, stacking problem after problem against her till she snaps and becomes the Joker. How the various problems Trans people face such as healthcare, familial and romantic relationship problems, not being able to find work/getting fired, losing your home, sexual assault, and murder; can create a monster that doesn’t just lay down and take it.

I am not saying that Joker is in the right for doing what she does, and I am not saying that she’s in the wrong either, as the entire point of Joker’s character regardless of which take we’re talking about is that it’s a person who was driven to the brink and snapped. I simply wished to explore a different narrative that may come off as distasteful to some, but is a reality for a lot of people.

The joker I portrayed is just like the others in comics, video games, cartoons, and movies. A murdering psychopath with a penchant for humor and gags, everything circus or clown-themed. The only thing that changes is her Origin story; she still wants Batman dead, and she still wants to cause mayhem and chaos while giving people a good laugh. Her being Trans is part of the character as she stopped caring about the law and the people around her and takes what she wants, but it does not define her. She remains the Joker with the same twisted humor and mentality.

If this bothers you, please spare yourself and don’t follow/interact. There is plenty of positive LGBTQA+ media and portrayals out there, I simply wanted to indulge in a darker take. I hope that one day, Trans and Queer folk are so normalized in society and in media that we don’t have to feel upset anymore about how we are portrayed. That it’s alright to have an LGBTQA+ villain who is a villain not because they’re queer but because they’re evil; for all those out there who like villains, myself included. 

So please do not consider my Joker to be similar to any other form of media Joker and interact with an open mind if you take that step!

Q: Joker X Harley Quinn how does that work? A: This is dependent on the writers. My Joker is not abusive/manipulative towards Harley, should they be in a relationship. There is an aspect of feminism to my portrayal, and it'd defeat the purpose if Joker started behaving that way towards Harley.

Besides, Harley has come very far as a character that Joker's presence is absolutely not necessary for her as a character. So I am open to various takes their relationship might be. Be that they are just two clown themed individuals, that they did go through the Arkham song and dance, or that Joker is just a different universe's Joker so there is no direct relation.

Q: Your Joker is disabled, what exactly does that entail? A: This kind of ties in with my notice from above in that Joker is not more or less of a villain because she's disabled, and it has nothing to do with the old (and frankly disgusting) trope of Villains having visible disabilities. It's just that I as a disabled individual myself wish to write something I can personally relate to.

That said; Joker can be beaten up in a fight despite her disability. There is no reason to hold back because of them, as she will not hold back either. Joker is an ambulatory wheelchair user. Her wheelchair is heavily modified in both appearance and function to keep up with her antics. And in a dangerous situation will be abandoned if necessary. Her cane functions as several things at once. Part of her attire, a blunt weapon, and a tool to help her walk.

And just because she does lots of antics doesn't mean she doesn't suffer from pain for behaving in this manner. If Joker escapes, then she might just need a few weeks due to a lack of spoons and plenty of pain/discomfort in her legs. That's one way to get her off the streets. But it won't stop her from being a menace.

[genderkoolaid]

As a trans and disabled person, I have no strong opinions on endo systems but I actively hate “transdisabled” people. Most of the community I see treats disability like an aesthetic, like I chose to have my legs not work and that I look cool in my chair. And yeah maybe I do look cool but my disability brings so much fucking pain it feels disrespectful to act like it’s something I should be happy about. If you’re not in pain, you’re not in pain. Gender is a social construct but disability (to an extent, and I’m talking about my disability which severely impacts my nervous system and also causes access tissue to grow leading to severe pain) is not a social construct. It is something I have to suffer through every fucking day and to try and co-opt and draw conclusions between me and someone who doesn’t have to go through that is so disrespectful to me. You do not want this, it is painful and frightening and I have a good chance of dying before 30. If you feel like you have these symptoms and can’t afford a doctor I have no hate against self dxing. But acting like you have a disability with no symptoms is just a plain fuck you to those who suffer from them everyday.

Again, if you feel transdisabled due to an underlying psychological issue, I wish you the best and I hope you’re able to access adequate mental health care. But you do not have what I have. Your body is not twisted, you do not wake up everyday in agony, your body is not destroying yourself and I find it horrific of you to act like it is. For me transableism feels like it is treating the fact that I have had to fight for every step I take, every place I go, every time I’ve collapsed in absolute agony, the nights vomiting my guts out because there is tissue growing where it shouldn’t be, the amount of times I’ve screamed my throat raw into a pillow because my nerves are on fire and simplify it into a flag or an identity is so fucking disrespectful. If you have the same symptoms as I do and it is unsafe to go to a doctor or the doctor won’t believe you, I’m sorry and I support your right to self dx and I hope you find medication that helps. If you have BIID I hope you can find the therapeutic help you need in order to feel at home in your body. But you don’t have the disability I do, not to say BIID isn’t a disability or it’s a lesser disability, but you do not have what I do and it is infuriating to me to say you have what I have without experiencing a fraction of the pain that I have Final message: I don’t want to say I hate transabled people or I wish harm among them because most of them are younger people. But I want you to think about how demeaning it is to tell someone who’s body is twisted and overgrown and painful to say you want to be like that? To say you’ve been through the same thing? Stop. I know you’re not trying to be, but you’re being ableist. Trans people transition through a social construct by my pain is not social. Please seek psychological treatment for your BIID and stop making those flags

Okay, first, I need to clear this up: I do not have BIID and I am not transabled. I am already physically disabled, I use mobility aids, I am in pain constantly, my ability to eat normally is fucked up, and my quality of life has been severely negatively affected by my physical disability, to the point where it has been a major component of why I have been suicidal. Trust me, I understand. I would be pretty upset if someone came up to me and said they were envious of my disabilities, because it's rude to act that way about someone else's suffering.

My problem is, everything you have said is the exact same reasoning cis women have for seeing trans women as offensive. There are many cis women who have lived lives full of horrific misogyny, who have been deeply traumatized by misogyny, who view womanhood as intrinsic suffering and pain. And they feel that trans women are extremely disrespectful, because how could they possibly know what it's like to suffer through horrific misogyny? How could they act like womanhood is some fun game full of pink and flowers when it has been a major source of trauma in your life? These cis women feel that trans women view womanhood as an aesthetic, they only see the patriarchal construct of femininity and think it looks like fun, and they are extremely offended by the idea that a "male" can just co-opt womanhood and try to act like "he" knows anything about the horrible, traumatic experience of being a woman.

Now, disability and gender are not the same thing, nor do they function the exact same. But its the same arguments, and the same gut reaction to seeing someone seek out something that causes you so much pain, and feeling like they are spitting on your pain by doing that. Its an understandable reaction, but not one that is based in connection with those people.

The more I read about people with BIID/transabled people and their experiences, the more I really feel for them. Their experiences of dysphoria are real, and lead many to the strong desire to hurt themselves in order to relieve it, in lieu of available surgery; many trans people can relate to that desire. Their experiences of euphoria are also real- the few people who have achieved their desired disability seem to, fairly consistently (although the data is Scarce), genuinely feel relief and are able to live happier lives. Here is one study on a man who had his leg removed and was very happy with it, and another one on 21 people who were able to get surgery- for that one, every single person said they didn't regret it at all. They felt happy with their bodies, free from depression, and overall felt their quality of life had improved extremely.

Again, I understand the gut reaction to seeing someone say that they are envious of amputees or that they wish they could be disabled. It's not an evil reaction, it's not a bad reaction. But their desire does not negate anyone's suffering, just like a trans woman's euphoria does not negate a cis woman's trauma. Their pain and their joy are real, and it does not negatively affect me, or you, for them to experience and pursue that joy. They can definitely be ableist, and be disrespectful to disabled people, but that is not an inherent part of BIID/being transabled. And there are people who are already physically disabled who are happy with their lives and are fine with being disabled, especially amputees; why should that be fine, but transabled people are warped fetishizing freaks? And, again, their desires are not hurting disabled people. All of the people in the above studies spent years thinking about their desires and what it would mean (which I think is important to point out, because if you are basing your entire view of a group on teens on Tumblr, you probably aren't going to get the most nuanced, coherent perspective). I think it's rude to suggest that other people, who have never met a transabled person, just inherently know that they are fetishizing and thinking being disabled is a fun game. Shouldn't we listen to them on their experiences? Writing all of them off as not understanding what it's like to be disabled is a generalization, and the same can be said for trans people- how do we damn transabled people in a way that doesn't give fodder for transphobes? I feel like solidarity between both groups can be used to fight for greater bodily autonomy, no matter how strange their desired body seems to the culture they are in.

All in all, I completely understand why you feel the way you do. As I said, I would not want someone to tell me, to my face, that I'm lucky to be disabled. But that's not what having BIID or being transabled means- and I do think there is some value in the radical statement that being disabled is not inherently a lesser existence than being abled, and people can and are able to be happy and love their lives and their bodies as disabled people. I don't think transabled people should claim that they are physically disabled (unless they have transitioned and do have that disability), but their desires are not inherently ableist or awful. Their dysphoria is legitimate and they have a right to seek body euphoria, the same as a trans person, or someone who wants tattoos, or someone who wants to get body modifications to look like a lizard.

[neon-moon-beam]

Addressing Ableism In The Submas Fandom And Its Impact Again

The fact that I know multiple neurodivergent people who have bad feelings arise from seeing any content, including official, of Warden Ingo due to an influx people turning the Submas fandom into an ableist playground in the wake of PLA speaks volumes.

Before I continue, I want to stress: I am not calling anyone in particular out.

Unknowingly making ableist content does not make you a bad person. Everyone still has things to learn, everyone has room for change and growth. Self-education and critical thinking are very important here (and everywhere). A desire to correct a mistake, change, and grow from it is better all around than digging your heels in and refusing to budge or listen.

I am not responsible for bad faith interpretations or other potential misinterpretations of me addressing these issues that have personally affected friends, acquaintances, and myself, should people choose to make these interpretations.

I am also not responsible for the reading comprehension or critical thinking skills of others. If you don’t read the entire post and choose to be reactionary towards it, including making assumptions about what was said or putting words in my mouth, I am not at fault.

Bl*nkshippers are not welcome on my content.

I can't begin to forgive the contingency of the fandom that made neurodivergent people feel unwelcome and alienated in their own space, and made them wonder if other Submas fans, or even people in general, even see them as human.

Given that it’s widely accepted that Ingo and Emmet are autistic-coded characters, the fandom could have been a safer and enjoyable space for neurodivergent (but especially autistic) people. It could have even been a refuge for people upset by the uncertainty we were left with due to PLA being incomplete. Instead, a large contingency of fans took one look at Submas and went "how sad/unhinged/angsty can I make the train blorbos?" and decided disability, trauma, and mental illness were acceptable to use as props.

To the people who have been doing things along these lines (but with especially Emmet!);  this tells neurodivergent people that you think they're unhinged, will hurt others if given an opening to do so, and portraying Ingo and/or Emmet as never having been human, turned into something nonhuman (as in Submas is singled out as nonhuman, and NOT in something like a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon AU or other AU where everyone is not human), or otherwise being not in control of their own actions is telling neurodivergent people that you don't even see them as human. And yes, you can be sending this message even if you yourself are neurodivergent!

Because of all this, I now know multiple people who do not want to see any content involving Warden Ingo, or PLA at all due to the negative association from the fandom, and even some who have stopped engaging with Submas in varying degrees.

I've made it very clear in other posts that I don't like how fandom is on tumblr for many reasons and that I do not consider myself part of the Submas fandom. But the Submas fandom has further turned me off to fandom as a whole, and I currently do not wish to engage with PLA content outside of making reassurance posts compiling evidence Ingo will or has gone home.

My roommate barely posts Submas art anymore because the pervasive ableism got to be too much. This is saying something considering she’s the author of the Submas primer many people, probably including many of those making ableist content, reblogged. She’s also the author of a post detailing Submas as autistic-coded characters. She’s been alienated from a community that she had provided a ton of research for! Please think about that for a second.

Other people don’t want to see Submas interacting with certain characters ever again (namely Volo), because of the ableist content created around their interactions, or even ships.

And if you’ve been around since at least PLA, you may have noticed that there are a few people who frequently posted about Submas as well as the ableism, who haven’t engaged with Submas content in a long time.

Fandom shouldn’t become an alienating or even hostile space for people who just want wholesome or comforting content, or simply want to see characters they like or even find representation in NOT being treated as ableist puppets or being so ooc with angst and ableism they’ve essentially become the artist or writer’s OCs. But unfortunately that's the track the Submas fandom seems to frequently head down in the wake of PLA.

If you’d like more info about the ableism that has been going on in Submas fan content, there is a list of posts here, but this is by no means exhaustive.

This is a post I previously referenced in one of my posts about the ableism about the issue of making Emmet violent and traumatized for entertainment purposes and why it’s problematic to use trauma as a prop.

And here is a post I made (with my roommate’s addition) addressing the issue of people thinking ableist portrayals aren’t harmful or don’t have an impact on real people.

And if you’re going to continue to make ableist content of Submas (or any other fandom) without any regard as to how your work impacts others, then there isn’t much anyone can do. But don’t be surprised if people choose not to engage with you or your content.

Thank you for your consideration.

[streetlightsthatguideyouhome]

Okay, WTF is up with these “actually ADHD/OCD/etc.” tags???

Trust me, I get the defensiveness. The idea of someone who isn’t disadvantaged pretending to be in order to have access to tools/accommodations/etc that they don’t need is infuriating.

I will happily rant about the people without ADHD who take ADHD meds as “study drugs”. And despite my best efforts to be understanding towards the small percentage of people with ADHD who sell their prescriptions, I can’t help but resent how their actions negatively impact the rest of us.

And is it annoying when people say stupid shit like using the disorders’ names like adjectives? (“I’m so ADHD today”)

Yes.

Is it annoying when people - both those with and without the disabilities in question - perpetuate harmful or just plain irritating stereotypes?

Yes. (Like, seriously guys, can we stop using variations of the “Hey, look, a squirrel!” when trying to explain our executive functioning to non-ADHDers? Please?!)

Do any of us have the right to decide here on Tumblr who does or doesn’t “actually” have that lived experience?

Hell no.

After all, who the hell am I to tell you that you don’t “actually have _________”?!

Think about how you would feel if someone told you that you don’t “really” have _____ as if ______ is a club that you’re not cool enough to join.

Just because you’re not speaking to them face to face doesn’t mean that the post wasn’t written by another real, living, breathing, feeling human being.

Be kind.

Edit: 

Thank you for the feedback in the comments. I’m a sporadic Tumblr user so I haven’t been able to witness the changes/growth in the online communities in the same way as a consistent, frequent user.  

So your comments have definitely helped me understand the use of the “actually tags” better. I do appreciate how and why we would want the ability to filter out posts that are not the kind that we’re looking for. 

I remember how frustrated and hurt and betrayed I felt after reading a piece that ADDitude had posted on Facebook several years ago written by a woman listing all of the frustrations she had with her husband with ADHD. Even worse, the comments had become a place for everyone and their dog to bitch about the people in their lives with ADHD. 

Were the feelings behind the venting - disappointment, confusion, frustration, resentment, hurt, exhaustion, mortification, etc. - all real and valid? 

Yes. 

Do I want her and others like her to have resources and support that help them better understand and communicate with us? 

Totally. 

Did ADDitude make it clear that they prioritized the lived experience of friends/family/teachers/etc. over those of us with ADHD by failing to manage and organize their content in a way that supports both audiences? 

Absolutely.

I can’t count the number of times that I’ve shared that I have ADHD with someone and been told some variation of “Really? I would never have guessed/known.”  

As if I should be proud of “being able” to pass. Or, worse, that they doubt I “actually” have ADHD because I don’t look or act like what they think ADHD looks or acts like.

We live our lives with people constantly questioning our diagnoses & abilities, our experiences, and our feelings. So I just wish and wonder if we could have found a better tag than “actually ______.” 

[codename-adler]

Dear Tumblr toxicity,

Hi. Adler here. We need to talk.

- TW: mental health issues, depression, bipolar disorder, self-harm, homophobia, transphobia, coming out, xenophobia, islamophobia, racism, implied sexual content, rape, non-con, addictions, abuse, parental negligence, depictions of violence, swearing (please message me kindly if I forget anything)

- What prompted this message: The release of Skam France S7 teaser (emphasis on teaser, will get into that below)

- Where I’m coming from: I will talk from the pov of a white, cis and queer 22-years-old woman (she/her); this is the pov that affects my experiences and the opinions I will share below; but my message comes from a place of deep hurt, and love

- What this is about: My goal is to share a recurring experience that has hurt me in order to spread a message of awareness, maturity, peace and love

- Central content: Skam France, Skam Wtfock, and Skam/remakes in general

From now on I will assume people have enough information for me to talk about the topics without explaining every plotline/character. There are plenty of wiki pages to help you out and I will gladly answer any (respectful) questions asked if a plothole bothers your comprehension of my message. I’m only making these assumptions in order to alleviate the text.

January 9th, 2021.

The francetv slash YouTube channel releases an unexpected teaser video for an equally unexpected seventh season Skam France. The video features Tiffany, a white, cis female teenager, going into labour from denial pregnancy just after winning what appears to be a gymnastics championship. Overall, the video and its release are very dramatic.

The character of Tiffany, also called Tiff, was previously seen on season 6 of Skam France as a bully who persecuted the main character, Lola, both at school and on social media. Outside of this characterization, nothing is known about her. It is majorly accepted that Tiff is not a liked character; she rather poses as one of the antagonists of Lola’s arc.

Now you know the details of what happened, in the most objectively possible way. 

Now I’ll speak for myself.

Before I went digging around for people’s reaction, here is what I initially thought of this video.

1) Shock: I thought Skam France was over, so... Big, big shock.

2) Excitement: I hold this web series very close to my heart. It has gotten me through depressive episodes, anxiety attacks, coming out to my best friend. To see this new development? It couldn’t bring me more joy.

3) Curiosity: I recognized Tiff immediately. I was intrigued as to what would happen to her to set off a new season in true Skam Fr fashion. As soon as she started gripping her stomach, I knew she was pregnant and wasn’t aware of it. Big, big surprise here again.

4) Numbness/Overthinking: As I stared at my screen, motionless, my mind went off. What did it mean? How did she not know? Who is the father? Do we know him? Will the baby survive? Where are the other characters? Will Lamifex be present? What? How? When? Why? Who?

5) Disappointment: No, I did not like Tiff one bit in S6. Yes, I sincerely wished for a season on either Jo (ambiguous and funny teenage girl, cis + white), Sekou (seemingly neurodivergent teenage boy, cis + black), and my favorite, Max (mysterious and grave teenage boy, trans + white) So why Tiff? It felt to me like a missed opportunity, but I did not lose hope.

So, these were the five stages of my emotional process. And then I made the terrible mistake to go look for the fans’ reaction. I didn’t even look at the YT comments, I didn’t go on Instagram, I went directly here on Tumblr. Why? I’m still asking myself that. From S1 to S6 of Skam Fr, I kept my love for the show to myself and only looked at ig and video edits. I tried once, and only once, to look it up on Tumblr, and was greeted by fervent agressivity, disrespect and hate. Why did I ever forget that after watching the S7 teaser? I still don’t know.

The reactions on this platform were wild. People are furious (I get that). People are disappointed (I get that). People are anxious (I get that). People are also verbally agressive, insensitive, hateful, disrespectful and bullies. I don’t get that.

Comments along the lines of “What she gonna do with a fucking baby?”, “Are we gonna watch the baby do nothing all fucking season?”, “Wowwww, teenage pregnancy, so new and relatable!” (note the sarcasm made in the comment here), “Who gives a shit about Tiff?”, etc. 

And then all the mistakes Skam Fr ever made flooded back onto the feed. The wlw misrepresentation, the whitewashing, the overdramatization, the dubious sex scenes between minors, all of it.

Let’s take a break here. Do I condone these mistakes? Nope. Am I a white-bully apologist? Nope. Did I forget every horrible action Tiff has made in the past? Nope. She manipulated a whole school against Lola, she profited from Lola’s mother’s death, she bullied her, harrassed her, pushed her deeper into mental distress. Tiff was a despicable character that I never once liked. The way she was played by the actress made it clear that Tiff was not intended to be a good guy. If I could replace her as the main of S7, I would, in a heartbeat. I’d choose, as I said, Jo, Sekou or Max.

Skam France deeply lacks diversity and made mistakes when attempting to diverse the issues represented. This is not an opinion, it’s a fact. 

Poc representation is very, very low. Only one season has a woc of Islam beliefs as mc (Imane, S4) with poc entourage/family. Only 2 other characters not related to Imane were poc (Sekou and Sarah, S1-S2). These 2 characters were very in the background and served to further the mc’s plotline, they had no real content. (I am not a poc, and so my opinion does not matter here. If you are not poc, your “opinions” don’t matter here, this point is not for you to debate. These are facts.)

While I do not particularly find the wlw representation bad, I do understand how it hurts/bothers other queer women. From my perspective, the bar was very low regarding my expectations of the Lola/Maya pair (none of them died *yay* they had a happy ending *yay* they were not typically overfeminized or overmasculinized *yay* Lola  and Maya were respectful of each other, understood each other, accepted each other with all their flaws and their beauty *yay* I truly believed in their love and it gave me confidence and hope *yay* I ould really go on but this is not my main point so I’ll stop here) Regardless of my opinion on Mayla, I understand that to some queer women, it was bothering/hurtful. (If you are anything other than a woman / wlw, this point is not for you to debate. Keep your “opinions” to yourself, it does not matter here. These are facts.)

Like every remake of the original Skam where the S4 was given to Sana/Imane, the Muslim community was not represented at its best, at its most beautiful and respectfully. The character of Imane, although she is my favorite girl of the series, was not portrayed in a way that respected the majority of the Muslim community. (If you are anything other than Muslim, this point is not for you to debate. Our opinions do not matter here. These are facts.)

And so the same goes for the portrayal of sexual assault and child pronography in S2, of mental illness and homophobia in S3, of disabilities in S5, of addiction, transphobia, self-harm and neurodivergence in S6. Again, if you are not part of these communities, your opinions do not matter on these issues. These are facts that are not up for debate.

In other words, Skam France, as well as the original Skam, Skam Wtfock, Skam España, and probably all the others I haven’t watched in their entirety, are NOT perfect shows. They (maybe) tried their best to portray issues of the younger generations that are ugly, shameful, taboo, hard-to-swallow-pills. Of course they made mistakes. Of course they have to be held accountable. Of course they can and should do better. Of course it must be spoken about.

Here is my problem.

The so-called “fans” shamelessly SHITTING on the WHOLE show because of ONE TEASER TRAILER. (btw, this is where I get angry)

I am not talking about the fans making fun of the show and this season’s premise like “Better MCs than Tiff for S7: a romance between the car that almost hit Lucas S3 and the car that hit Arthur S5, or the school’s nurse, or Imane’s dad, or Elu’s rabbit” (that shit’s funny and I’d watch all of these).Or the joke about Wtfock and Skam Fr shaking hands while signing the same contract to disappoint the fans with white MCs (it’s funny cuz it’s trueeeee).

I am not talking about the fans criticizing the producers’ choice of Tiff as MC. There is a difference between shitting on issues and adressing/discussing them. I WANT to talk about how this season’s issue would have been so much better if a woc, specifically a black woman, had been the MC, because black women and doctors are a whole different level of issue than white women and doctors. Add on top of that an unplanned teenage pregnancy? It would have been IMMACULATE. I WANT to talk which wlw couple was better represented, Mayla or Croana/Crisana, and why is that. I WANT to talk about disabilities in black and poc communities. I WANT to talk about headcanons, AUs, to rectify the missed marks. I WANT to talk about our takes on seasons about Max, Sekou and Jo, instead of Tiff’s.

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SHITTY, NEGATIVE, UNHELPFUL, HURTFUL COMMENTS.

Just because the protagonist is white, doesn’t give you ANY right to dismiss the issue that is unplanned teenage pregnancy. This is a problem that affects countries WORLDWIDE. Do you know how many deaths are related to minors giving birth? Do you know how many babies die at birth from these pregnancies? Do you have any idea the trauma it puts you through, to go into labor without even knowing you were pregnant in the first place, and then giving birth, and then having to care for a defensless human being? The dilemma of keeping it, or giving it away? The fear that lives in every person able to give birth, that one day they’ll become pregnant, because society turns sych a shameful look to that? No matter your ethnicity, your gender identity, your sexuality, your political stance or whatever shit you bring up to justify your disgraceful and downright degrading comments, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT A MINOR GIVING BIRTH IS NOT AN ISSUE. 

You think the topic has been covered plenty before? Yeah, because shows like “16 and pregnant” and “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant!” are such good examples and show the reality with such an objective point of view! 

Bullshit. Teenage pregnancy is still a taboo, it still kills, and people are still morons about it. 

“Well I guess everybody is secretly pregnant now!” No, Jessica, but you wouldn’t know about it, would you? Because I wouldn’t tell you shit if you were my “friend” and I was going through it. The whole message of all the Skams is not that it presents super relatable issues of teenagers, although it is a big topic of the show. They present some issues that affect the youth in an authentic light, but that’s not it.

Tous les gens que tu rencontres mènent un combat dont tu ignores tout. 

Sois indulgente. Toujours. x x x

//

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Be kind. Always. x x x

THAT’S THE MESSAGE. THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW.

And you all missed it.

All of you making dead baby jokes and death threats, degrading people who give birth, shaming teenagers for their pregnancies... Listen to yourselves.

“Well she deserves it, she was such a bitch!” No, Michael, you shit stick. Let’s rewind a bit for you, yeah? It was a GOD DAMN TEASER. We literally know nothing! Nothing at all! Why are y’all getting mad when we saw 3:25 minutes representing a whole ass season! Listen to yourselves. Y’all judge so fast for people pretending to love Skam and its authenticity and its motto.

You say Tiff is irredeemable?

Emma cheated on her boyfriend.

Manon lied and manipulated her friends.

Lucas was homophobic and prejudiced agaisnt mentally ill people.

Imane was homophobic too and went behind her friends’ back to get what she wanted.

Arthur cheated on his girlfriend too.

Lola dragged Elliot down with her in her addiction, lied, was verbally abusive, etc.

ALL THE MAINS ARE PROBLEMATIC.

Any guess why?

BECAUSE THEY ARE TEENAGERS. THEY ARE STILL GROWING AND LEARNING.

Yet we still loved them all. 

So don’t you dare tell me that Tiff deserves this, that her baby deserves to die, that teenage motherhood is irrelevant. Motherhood is not a curse in the first place, nor is it something to wish to inflict upon anyone. Motherhood is different for every single person and nobody except the person living with it can have an opinion on that. We don’t even know if the baby survived, for God’s sake!

There is no excuse for this kind of behavior..

It makes me so angry. Women are discriminated against in a fandom I thought was safe, again and again and again. 

I have to stop here because, well, this is just too much. There is much wrong with Skam (the original AND all the remakes), but there is even more wrong with the fans. I’m done.

You don’t support the show anymore? Fine, then don’t watch it! If I really am wrong, the number of viewers will go down and the show will die, just like you wished. There is no need to be vicious about it. 

I hope y’all are proud of your misogyny. 

Sincerely,

Adler.

[hell-is-a-teenage-girll]

LDR

There are people who will be happy about this. And I know people and so do I understand why the traveling ban is made.

But I just need some love from our tumblrcommunity.

They just decided to close the travel to and from belgium 

My love was gonna come to Belgium in February. Now probably this isn’t gonna happen, as the information about long distance couples isn’t fully clear (yet) I know alot of people with long distance are having a hard time. And trust me I understand why they decide this. I am not some kinda person who is like FUCK THE RULES, FUCK COVID, No I really understand it all, but from a human point of view.. it’s.. ugh

I’m just upset because.. My life already was alot like quarantine before. it’s been like that for years. I’ve been ill for over 10 years.

And I’m doing worse and worse, and tbh seeing her was a light for me. And to just not be alone while being in pain, makes a world of a difference. 

I’m not just a “healthy” person who was used to going outside and doing what I want. And I can understand how difficult it must be for the people who used to be able.

I used to go outside and do things maybe once a week or once in 2 weeks. We’d go to flea markets or parks. That already fell away.

I am stuck inside, which drives me insane. I am always locked between walls, if it was summer I’d have a less hard time because feeling the sun, the warmth (which works like a natural painkiller even) is my most favorite and cherished thing in life. right now it’s winter. all I can do is sit inside, which hurts, I can lay down, which also hurts.

I try to keep busy and maybe organize or clean, from which I will suffer the next day. I can not work, I am disabled even if it’s not visible.

I’m not saying when my girlfriend is here the pain disappears, I wish.

But it helps, she holds me through it, she lays with me, she helps me, she sometimes even picks me up literally, her presence makes it all a bit more .. I don’t know the word.

And before you tell me that every one suffers from this, I know.

But please keep in mind I am in pain 24/7. I already have NO option of going outside because being high risk, in the cold I can not do anything because my body can’t handle it. My littlest amount of freedom fell through as well. And now so does my one sparkle in life.

I don’t want pity, and I really don’t need negative comments, neither does S.

 I will block you at first glance of a negative ask, because I know some of y’all were just waiting for this, but message me, I won’t even read it further as soon as I see it’s a negative one, as I am not asking for pity, or rage against the rules, I am just here to vent.

I just needed to vent in the place I feel at home, in our little community here.Because sometimes, I’m really tired.

[saucerfulofsins]

Starting with @softgrantaire’s post yesterday, I have been seeing a lot of discussion surrounding the place of trans people in hockey fandom on Tumblr. Parts of his original post and the discussion emanating from it is undeniably necessary, and I do think that continuing the discussion on better representation benefits everybody in fandom. However, to me, some of the assumptions made are troublesome. I have spent a long time thinking on this, I have discussed this with some friends, and I do not think I can stay quiet because I really, really think that this discussion has become very black/white while nuance is 100% necessary in this case. I am also not seeking to attack anybody—feelings of discomfort are entirely valid and I will never say something else. However, if we are talking about being critical of fandom, I do think it is important to start with ourselves and look at where our discomfort comes from rather than only holding other people accountable.

To start, I need to address the persistent use of “terf.” Terf does not mean “excluding trans people from any given space,” which is how I currently see it being used. Terf means “trans-exclusionary radical feminist,” and denotates a specific kind of transphobia that seeks to claim trans men are women, and trans women are men.  Subsequently, they feel that trans women have no space in female spaces (e.g. they believe trans women should use men’s bathrooms). A terf would thus never say that a trans man does not belong in a female space, because a terf believes that trans men are women and therefore do belong there.

In fact, I have not seen anybody deny that trans men exist. In the discussion trans men are treated as men—which is only valid, given the fact that they are. A trans man has no reason to demand different rights from a female community than a cis man (I will get back to this later). A trans man (who in this context is someone who fills a male societal role/passes) has the same societal privileges a cis man does. This is inherent to being male.

This is also one of my main issues with the initial post: “trans men” are persistently differentiated from “men.” The demand is not to promote equality, it is a call for women to allow trans men into their space. And yes, I understand that transgender men are marginalized—but so are BIPOC men, and so are gay men, and so are disabled men. So if you are striving for equality on that level, wording is certainly something to consider—because currently, the argument, to me, sounds like “trans men are different from cis men��� when to many FtM, a large part of being transgender is not wanting to be differentiated. In fact, the women who want a safe space for themselves on Tumblr don’t exclude trans men because they are trans, they exclude trans men because they are men.

The trans/men differentiation seems to promote misunderstanding and a black-and-white thinking: either trans/men are accepted in fandom, or they are not. A fandom is safe to all, or it is not. A fandom caters to all, or it does not. That is not how a fandom works, however—and it never has.

This leads me on to my second major point: Both the initial post and subsequent responses discuss “hockeyblr” as a single community when in fact it comprises many different people with many different interests and reasons. To give some examples: they support different teams and/or players, they do not ship or they ship player/player and/or player/self-insert, they primarily focus on the fandom side or on the hockey side, and so forth.

Thus. Can fandom-as-whole be more inclusive? Absolutely. Is it good to reflect on why you make the choices you make (e.g. someone writing skinny white cis female self-inserts as opposed to including BIPOC, different bodies and different genders; someone writing male/male; someone writing mpreg or genderswap). At the same time, however, I think it is so fucking important to primarily keep toxic hockey culture accountable for your discomfort. Both trans and female fans’ primary discomfort germinates from that, not from interaction with each other. But trans discomfort and female discomfort are not the same, particularly if we are discussing trans men.

Subsequently—I believe that it is okay if someone wants to run a blog that does seek a female audience and does revolve around that. Women do deserve a safe space; if they wish to keep to a corner of the fandom which is female-only, there is no reason for men to demand access to that side of fandom. Different groups can exist side-by-side. Not everything is for everybody.

I also think that men who wish to see more inclusivity in fic need to reflect on why women need to write more gnc/nb/transgender fic. I do not think this is transphobic; it has nothing to do with a “dislike of or prejudice against transgender people.” There is no inherent negative attitude, merely a group of women writing what they want to read. And subsequently, for me, this maps onto the general fandom rule of “if you want to read it, and it doesn’t exist, write it yourself.” This is even more true if you discuss something as complex as gender identity; while it may be possible to write a fic not entirely focused on gender, gender is often still a big part of a romantic relationship and it (unfortunately) certainly is a large part in how society treats different people. Moreover, this would have been a different argument if people were writing for money and refusing to write transgender characters for no good reason, but the vast majority (if not all) of hockeyblr’s writers do so for free, in their spare time, for their own fun.

So absolutely, yes, educate people on trans experiences. Yes, make people aware that there are more experiences beside cis female/male or cis male/male. Discuss the issues of representation that exist within fic, whether that is self-insert or mlm, whether it is gender-related or ethnicity-related or anything else. And absolutely, yes, acting like all of hockey Tumblr is female-only is shitty as all fuck because it most certainly is not, and there is absolutely ZERO need for it to be: any and all people whose interests fit with the fandom should feel welcome in the fandom-at-large regardless of gender, sexuality, or amount of societal oppression they face, and be supported in these aspects. At the same time, however, there is no true reason for anybody to demand that all of the fandom is safe to them, particularly if we are discussing gender; women who want to hockey blogs for only a female audience should be free to do so, the same way someone who wants to only discuss two players being gay for each other should be.

Anyway. Please accept and respect each other. Fandom is perceived shittily enough as it is; to talk and discuss these matters is of vital importance, but please also respect peoples’ individual wishes  and needs when Tumblr is large enough for all of us to exist, find our communities within hockeyblr, and be happy.

[p4radox99]

“Coming out as vegan/animal rights activist is much more special than coming out as LGBTQ+” are you fucking kidding me you deluded old hag, honestly, I’ve seen a few of her videos circulating and what she spews is disgusting, but this.. are you kidding me, it’s a fucking joke.

No one ever got thrown out by their family for being vegan (not for real at least). No one got burned, beaten and tortured and certainly no one has ever been KILLED in premeditated strikes, for being a vegan animal rights activist, unlike queer people who all over the world experience hardships due to their sexuality - something out of their control - Some risk their lives to get to live a decent life with the person they love and others are miserable because, ancient laws and misinterpretations of religious texts, prevent them from being who they are and being with the person they want to be with.

Being vegan is great. It’s good for the planet and if you find that your life is fuller and happier because of your CHOICE to not eat meat, then I am truly happy for you and I wish you all the best in this world. But it is nothing compared to what it means to be LGBTQ+, this is life and death depending on where you are. Wanting animals to be treated fairly and actually doing something in an attempt to get them that fair treatment is amazing, but the treatment you are so adamantly trying to save the animals from is what members of the queer community has gone through, are going through and will go through in their lifetime, due to their inability or unwillingness to hide who they are and who they love.

So please educate yourself and stop spreading misinformation and negative sentiments to children that listen to you. Be a positive force in their lives, teach them acceptance of all shapes and sizes, be it dietary choices, sexuality, skin color, gender, disability, weight or anything that makes you inherently different in the eyes of society.

The two things discussed in this video can’t be compared and shouldn’t. You shouldn’t compare your life, struggles, choices or accomplishments to other people, it is the fastest way to be unhappy. Focus on what you want and achieve it, then it won’t matter that the neighbor did this or your sibling did that, because you are happy and you are happy for them because they achieved something they wanted to do.

[azuradreaming]

A Silent Voice: Naoka and Shoko’s Scene

Part 3 of my review of A Silent Voice is here! Technically 3.1, because this particularly one I had so much I want to talk about.

There was a scene where Naoka lashed out at Shoko blaming her for everything (for broken friendships between elementary school friends, for Shoya treating her coldly, etc) and being sick of her depressing state. She went as far as saying Shoko didn’t bother to understand her. Didn’t bother to try to talk to her.

When I first watched the movie, my first impression of Naoka and this scene was negative. I remember thinking “What a bitch. She didn’t even bother to acknowledge what she did wrong at the end.”

But now that I am watching the movie again and thinking about it. I realized Naoka was right about one thing. Shoko actually never made the first move to talk to anyone. Yes, we have seen people being friendly and introducing themselves to her on the first day. And yes, we have seen Shoko approach the group, but all she ever said was “When you want to talk to me, please use this notebook.”

What are a bunch of young children supposed to say? If someone said that to you, will you be able to think of anything? You could argue that Well she can’t hear, so they should try to interact with her like ask what’s her favorite color? Favorite hobby? Favorite show?

Then, why can’t Shoko do the same? Why can’t she take that initiative to communicate with them? She could have written What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite hobby? What’s your favorite show? She could have made that same exact effort on her side.

Instead, she sat there and waited. And waited some more. She continued to wait for someone to talk to her as the gap between her and the rest of the class continued to become bigger and bigger to the point where she became disliked and outcast by both the class and herself which led to the bullying. The class outcasted her, but at the same time, she outcasted herself too.

Communication and friendship is a two way street, not one. Yes, the class didn’t bother trying to talk to her, but Shoko didn’t either. And the more difference they see in her and the more leeway they see the teachers give her, the more unjust they felt, thus the negative towards her grows as she continues to not communicate. Shoko is letting her disability hold her down. She let it overtake her, consume her, depress her. She is letting that wall between her and the class grow taller and thicker where one with that kind of mindset can never climb over it nor break through the other side.

Naoka had every right to say what she said to Shoko. I just wish there was a more solid scene where we see the two actually make up, instead of Shoko finally making that attempt to overcome her disability and make up with everyone including Naoka and then time-skipping to where the two are now friends.

Please look forward to the next half of part 3 where I talk about what this scene reminds me of. Coming out tomorrow.

There won’t be Song of the Post this time.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

MomDad I need some advice . When I have a bad brain day ( Don’t know what is going on . Is it trauma due to my past or something else ? Who knows ? Not me ) I am very tired , I don’t speak or only very little ( speaking is very hard and draining during those days ) , and any kind of sound or movement strongly piss me off ( someone breathing loudly or putting a plate on the table ) . How do I deal with it ? I try my hardest to stay calm and polite but it’s obvious I’m angry .

okay so this is just my gut instinct here, but my whatever-the-autistic-version-of-gaydar-is is going off like crazy right now. going nonverbal/semi-verbal under stress and both being very sensitive to sensory input and reacting to sensory overload with the urge to have a meltdown positively screams autism.

as i said, what you’re describing is sensory overload. it’s when everything is Just Too Much and all of the noise and light becomes so overwhelming it fills you with feelings like pain, anger, even panic, and you just can’t cope even though it’s “just” regular sounds. if you had nothing going on but this one thing i might suggest misophonia, which is a condition where you’re extremely sensitive to small but annoying sounds like breathing or tapping or clicking.

but put together with having trouble speaking and having ‘bad brain days’, i really feel like you’re an undiagnosed autistic. 

there is, obviously, a LOT to be said on that topic, and i don’t have to spoons to go over it all, so i’m going to recommend that you please go through my autism tag to read what i’ve previously said and reblogged, which will cover a lot and probably be extremely informative. however, there are a couple things i’d like to say to you directly.

firstly, i really hope that you don’t find this to be devastating or terrible, because despite what many awful people will say, i don’t believe that autism is an inherently bad thing. it’s not a disease, it’s not a mental illness, we simply have brains that run on a different operating system, and that’s okay. yes, it causes us problems, but that doesn’t mean we need to be “cured” and it certainly doesn’t give anyone the right to treat us like shit. we are every bit as human and as valuable as anyone else. it’s a disability, yes, but ‘disability’ isn’t a bad word.

secondly, you are going to run into a lot of stuff and people who will tell you that you “can’t” be autistic, for this or that uninformed reason. there are people who think only little white boys can be autistic, or that people who can speak or hold down a job or have friends “can’t” be autistic. if you don’t have a perfect checklist of stereotypical traits, you may not be able to get an official diagnosis from a allistic (non-autistic) doctor who is working off very outdated information.

however, i and many others don’t believe you need an official diagnosis, not unless it’s important you get one for the sake of getting government accommodations or things like that. you can self-diagnose as autistic and be valid, just go and do your homework first.

please go through my whole autism tag, but this is specifically my autism traits tag, which you can check out to compare yourself to lists of autistic traits that have been put together by real autistic people, not allistic doctors. if i’m right, i think you’ll have the same moment of realization that i did a few years ago when i came across those posts and started putting together the pieces that made my life suddenly make sense.

for me, realizing i’m autistic has been unquestionably a good thing. that doesn’t mean you can’t have some negative feelings about it, that you can’t sometimes just wish you were normal. but we are what we are, and it’s so much better to find pride in that than to feel like something’s wrong with you. nothing is wrong with you, you’re just the way you are, and the way you are makes sense.

going semi-/nonverbal is okay, you don’t need to “fix” that. look into alternative methods of communication, like texting or sign language. look into ways of dealing with sensory overload that help to minimize the negative input, such as earplugs or headphones or sunglasses. stimming can also help you deal with negative feelings.

this is probably a whole lot to throw at you at once, but please think about it, and feel free to ask more questions too. take care, dear. 

[irageneveart]

there are so many things a 16 years old person should be doing beside throwing hate, BUT HERE YOU ARE BEING A BRAT

@bfmyers I really can't take this anymore, are you really that full of hypocrisy to scream TOXIC left and right while you yourself use your free time to only spread hate? I don’t usually do this and I try to stay away from useless discourse but you're just kicking on my nerves way too much

under the cut cause boy I have a lot to say. (really, it’s long. I needed to point out everything)

I'm going to kindly tell you to fuck off artists' backs.

you have 0 fucking knowledge of what you're talking about yet you're making callouts and worse, people agree! the same people who supported the artists before by reblogging and liking their art are now shitting on them and "ihh no more reblogs from them" only because you write a lengthy shit in which not only that you threaten a human being, you don't even know how to argue. a link to a picture and screaming "toxic" ISN'T A GODDAMN ARGUMENT

people of this community, PLEASE use your fucking brains and don't bow your head to what every nameless kid has to say. you don't have to believe me either, just use your fucking brain and heart and do the decision making yourself

Now, you did a callout post on @dbd-omija pointing out how toxic they are!!! omg gasp animal death? abuse?? HOW IS THAT pOsSIbLe

where have you been until now because this is a horror community:

in the TCM universe inbreeding is mentioned multiple times

in the Halloween movies Michael kills two dogs and eats one of them

omija clearly stated they went with the 1978-2018 timeline BUT NO YOU KEPT SCREAMING BECAUSE HOW DARE THEY SAY SOMETHING AGAINST YOU

on that matter: in the halloween movies Michael's cult makes him rape his niece, in another movie Laurie, before jumping to what it seemed her death, kisses Michael's mask lips. GASP, when will you sue the directors?

after he escaped, Max literally slaughtered every living creature in that farm. put the DBD devs on your "I need to sue them cause I have something to say against this horror game!!!" list

If there’s something I can agree with you on, it’s about tags. Yes, these are triggers, yes tagging is important, but let’s not forget that being in this community IS about being surrounded by triggers. out of courtesy sure, we should tag our stuff accordingly, but to go all out to say “omija, if you’re reading this, i’m going to pee in your mouth.” HOW. IS. THIS. ACCEPTED?! HOW

HOW THE FUCK PEOPLE WHO REBLOGGED THAT CALLOUT THOUGHT YES THIS IS GOOD?!!?!

now you said that Omija's making all of these seem cute and that’s the real problem. this is where you are sooo wrong and let me explain:

a round head doesn't instantly make everything cute. there are many many details that the human eye perceives as cute, things that artists go to when they want their art to be seen as cute. from the color chosen to the way their eyes and mouths are drawn, to the very line work they’re using. yes, shapes count too, but this is not the case and we should get out of our tiny box and see the big picture. Their comics are not meant to be cute, actually much respect to them for being brave enough to approach well known subjects that are not explored. But that’s it. If YOU see it as cute then it’s your problem really. Art and fiction is prone to interpretation

If anything, how much cute stuff we have in the community should be the anomaly, not that someone draws anxious Bubba

omija's Amanda and Bubba art is problematic! someone asks why, you: because is toxic!!!

really? I actually think that, given their individual personalities, omija portraits the ship’s dynamic really well. Amanda is not dealing well with her feelings and with humans and Bubba has problems understanding things in general. they are two deranged people finding a way to cope and to accept another human presence nearby. "Amanda is picking on a disabled person how can you say it's well!!!!" let me remind you that his entire family is picking on his disabilities and the fact that he loves but also FEARS his family is a big theme in Leatherface's story and personality

Also, another argument of yours was about “the power play” and how that’s problematic. I’m...honestly surprised you even thought of this argument because the entire slasher fandom, the movies, everything slasher related IS BASED ON POWER PLAY. Have you read what they wrote for Laurie/Michael to say the ship is based on power play and it’s wrong? No, me neither, cause I don’t care, but you seem to care enough to vomit about it. Go read some things and tell me how problematic the writing is, you need to call out writers too after all

Btw, surprise! I don't ship neither of the mentioned ships, but I can use my brain enough to see what omija does is actually well made and well thought, sick, weird in some instances, but well thought. kudos to you artist. I can also see those who ship Laurie and Michael are still nice people

But just like you and many others I have my own morals (do you now? Exposing yourself like that to NSFW content while so many people are scared for their life because of people like you? hmmmm) and I can’t really stand explicit pedophilia. I’ve read so many books or seen so many movies where it was mentioned, it’s a trigger factor, it’s taboo, therefore is normal to be used in darker works. It all depends on the circumstances and the way it is presented, cause it’s a piece of fiction. Nobody attacked George R. R. Martin for the controversial things he had written in his books right? I wonder why

Because, another surprise, fiction is different than reality and only this argument alone should be enough, but some monkey brains out there will come to scream at me how fiction affects reality. Someone who writes a murder mystery isn’t actually killing people when they put pen to paper. People who play shooter games do not wish to shoot people in real life. Someone who writes about rape will not welcome the rapist in their arms nor do they wish to rape someone. So on, it’s simple, again, we just need to use our brains.

If you have bullying-related or a family related or any thing related trauma and you see a Michael/Laurie fic or Quentin/Freddy or whatever other ships or subjects you have seen around, and decide to click on it, and then you have a negative reaction, that fiction is not harming you. Your unresolved trauma is harming you. Your decision to read something when you know it triggers you is harming you. The past actions of yourself and those who inflicted harm upon you are harming you. All of those things – your trauma, your real-life bullies, your actions – are real, and have the ability to harm you. (the italic bits are from @dracfics who said it better than I ever could put in words. Thank you)

next on your "who am I going to shit on today" is @renlvbon

not gonna lie, for the omija callout I read everything searching to see whenever you are right or not. I don’t personally know either of the artists but I could read enough to see you’re just a self entitled person with something to say regarding everything. for ren's callout I simply skipped after I saw your argument.

you're not doing gods' work by opening people's' eyes that they can or should portray the characters the way they are, disabled and gross. no, you're just picking on someone's art style

Can we stop this toxic nonsense???

don't get me wrong, I agree that we shouldn't make them supermodels and we shouldn't erase what they are, fucking ugly and gross killers, but saying people who don't draw them a certain way are cowards or calling them out or whatever else shit is TOXIC and ANNOYING. We all change them more or less, we have to because none of us are the original creators! We’re just thirsty people making them to be what we want and what we imagine because they’re fucking fiction

I’ve seen people agreeing with you saying the artist should consider real people with disabilities or on the heavier side (“like me” they pointed out). I’m so sorry if this comes out as rude but if you search or need validation in a horror community that’s not a good thing at all! Body positivity and a healthy approach to disabilities should. not. be. searched. in. a. horror. community or any community on tumblr for that matter. You want some positivity on that? In a real case scenario with them we all would die, no matter how you look like

Going back to the artists, some people don't have experience/ are insecure/ are uncomfortable drawing body hair or fat bodies or whatever. That doesn’t make them fatphobic or whatever shit I saw you writing in your tags.

Drawing a black character less than the color YOU think is good? Have you ever tried to color skin? There are so many ways to do it, there are so so many colors you combine and you play around with + lighting and shading that alters everything. and yeah maybe some people pick a different color, a lighter one, or a more yellow one than they should for asiatic people, or whatever. but these tones are NOT easy to get well (you can always put a brown color down and to call it a day, but maybe people won’t want that. They don’t want to be disrespectful, exactly cause there are predators like you that don’t know how to help, only how to fucking scream). Or maybe they simply don’t know how. Every artist has their own range of comfort zone, be it about subject - composition - colors - etc. I don’t do well with neon colors for example, it happens. Hell even the screen you’re using alters the colors

How about giving actual tips, support and explanations instead of rude call outs? And don’t come at me with the “color picker” shit cause color picker from a real life photo is hell and if you don’t know some color theory your art is going to look dull and lifeless regardless

The only time I can agree that whitewashing is wrong is when white-supremacy, nazi and other ugly shits like these are coming into the topic. But it’s not the case here

some young artists don't have the skill to draw certain body shapes, or body hair, or even a non-anime face. some others think putting a scar on the character’s face make them 'uglier' and ‘scarier’ and for them that's enough AND THAT'S ALRIGHT

drawing something that's supposed to be ugly but still having anatomy and proportions and a functionable mouth or eyes placement or whatever ISN'T EASY. ofc, you can go all out if that's what you want, but personally I want things to still be working because at the end of the day every single one of them is human. I'm not drawing dark fantasy in this fandom, I'm drawing slashers

NO ONE IS DRAWING FOR YOU. NO ONE IS USING THEIR SKILL TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. art and writing, especially when is made in the free time of the creator, is made FOR THEMSELVES. If there are people enjoying it? Yay, that’s a win, but no one expects everybody on this planet to like what they’re doing. We’re getting back to that golden rule, DON’T LIKE: MOVE THE FUCK ON/ BLOCK AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. EASY. no one uses these unnecessary callouts for anything, if you have something to say do so kindly, if you can’t, just vent to your friends

So now let’s wrap it up cause IDK how many of you even make it through this point

can we fucking stop making young artists and writers cowards for drawing or writing how they can and however they fucking want? Please and thank you

this shit going on with "the best artist/writer for x y z character" or "conventionally drawing ugly Bubba uwu" will just destroy the confidence of whoever wants to keep drawing or writing or joining the fandom. There’s no competition who draws Bubba the ugliest nor who writes Michael the best. if you can do things a certain way, do it, and let the rest draw and write whatever they can WITHOUT FEARING THEY'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

now I'm waiting for your very "well" argumented reply but I hope you'll understand that what you're doing is TOXIC and you should stop or at least change your way to address things. You’re talking to other human beings, not a void when you can throw any random thought you have in the morning. I don't care about you to be honest, but there are so many people out there following your words mindlessly and the creators are suffering and it's not fair.

don't forget to tell me to go kill myself. have a nice day