#’but why would they think I’d do that with Nicky? why did they write this in detail?’

[ninyard]

Neil finding out about rpf and proceeding to show everybody the fics he’s in. Neil being fascinated and weirded out that somebody is writing about him and the team have to act shocked as if they haven’t been reading fan fiction about themselves since they got signed

[drewsbuzzcut]

Stars Around Your Scars

nick moldenhauer x dallas blankenburg

a so it goes blurb

warnings: mentions serious hockey related injuries (blade cutting through skin), talks about scars, fear, insecurities, and hesitation. Reading about Nick’s face injury had me going through so many emotions, because I can’t imagine what it’d feel like to actually go through it. Also, this isn’t me trying to romanticize injuries; I just wanted to write something for those who may still be affected by life changing/ traumatic events in their life. They deserve to be empathized with.

Dallas is laid out on her bed, Nick by her side as they’re buried under her fuzzy blanket. They’re facing each other, Nick’s hand under her big shirt, rubbing her skin all while Dallas tangles her fingers in his soft hair. They’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but they’re still getting to know each other. Which is why Nick is finally opening up about his hockey incident.

She was quick to notice his scar when they first met, but never brought it up. She wasn’t sure if it was a sensitive subject. When they started dating, she grew more curious, but decided to wait until he brought it up.

“I feel like I’m being dramatic,” Nick warns his girlfriend.

“No, you’re not dramatic. You went through something traumatic, and if you’re willing to share that story with me, I’ll listen and I will never judge you about your feelings or thoughts,” she whispers as this moment is one of the most intimate between the couple.

“I don’t really remember feeling the blade cut through my skin, but the pain after the shock wore off was something I’ve never felt before. It wasn’t just physical pain either. I knew recovery time would take me away from hockey for a while. I also wasn’t sure if I’d even recover and still be able to play. The waiting was just absolutely daunting,” Nick speaks softly, afraid his voice might display just how affected he is by his incident, even now.

“How did you feel when you were told that you’d be okay?”

“Relieved. I was relieved that I’d make a full recovery. For most people it might seem irrelevant, but my second thought was hockey. I wanted to get back on the ice. I was so scared that I’d never be able to play again.”

“I’m so sorry you went through something like that. I can’t imagine how scared you must’ve been. How scared your parents were,” Dallas adds in, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“I hate talking about it. It was a hard time for me, you know? I was thinking about hockey just about every second, but then I had to talk myself into being okay if I couldn’t play again. Do you think I’m overreacting? I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have been thinking about hockey so much, because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. All that really mattered was if I would survive.”

“You’re not overreacting. You had a visceral reaction. There’s nothing wrong with that. You love hockey; I think it’s only natural to go through the emotions that you went through,” the girl assured him, pulling his body closer to his as if they weren’t already as close as possible. She places his hand over her heart, so that he has something soothing to focus on.

“Sometimes I’m still wary about being on the ice. I’m worried about taking another blade to the face. I don’t want another scar, even though scars in hockey are inevitable. I don’t know. I guess sometimes it can make me feel insecure,” he further explains.

“You’re still handsome. As for you being worried about another incident like that, it’s only natural. Just because you’re back to playing hockey and feel comfortable on the ice, doesn’t mean that it won’t linger in the back of your mind.”

Dallas caresses the side of his face, letting her thumb glide over the raised skin of his scar. She watches the way his eyes close at the feeling. She sees his breath get shaky, so she lays gentle kisses along the scar.

“Thank you for trusting me and telling me this story. I’m here for you always, Nicky,” she expresses her appreciation through a few more kisses, feeling content when they bring a smile to his face.

“Thanks for listening.”

Dallas just nods her head, pulling him on top of her body. Her heartbeat races when he immediately cuddles into her, his face hiding in her neck and their legs tangling together. She’d do anything to protect him and make him feel loved.

a/n: If any of you are struggling with something (or not) and want to talk, my inbox and messages are always open.

[rainbowcarousels]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

There's obviously Just Be Still With Me which is my epic, I'm very proud of it but I want to highlight some of the others I'm so happy with:

the nicki lives au were flash fics written in maybe an hour and honestly, it's some of the stuff I go back to every time I want Nicki's 'voice' back because I always think I nailed him in that. There's something about the late 80's goth/gaudy self expression that feels so Nicki to me and having just seen the Ghovie, I'm more convinced than ever that I need to add to this universe.

“Do you want an apology?” Armand asked. “What for?” Nicolas asked. There seemed to be a genuine confusion in his voice. “Taking your hands,” Armand said. “Sending you to sleep without feeding.” Nicolas cocked his head to one side. His hair had probably been cut by him from the jagged ends, but it was still jarring to see him this way, this modern creature where he shouldn’t be. “Would you mean it?” Armand considered it. “No.” “Then why bother with it?” Nicolas merely waved him off. “If I wanted liars and fools, I’d have sought out Lestat before now.”

how we say hello is one of those fics that I could have made a verse out of. It's Sephiroth leaving with Gast and explores the relationship of baby Aerith and Sephiroth as siblings and I'm so proud of this one because I can't reread it without tearing up and that always makes me feel like if I'm feeling emotional rereading it (coughMama?cough) then it probably landed for the reader.

“You can’t be serious,” the Wutai troop leader said. They struck a deal quickly enough when they realised what he was capable of, but for some reason, Aerith was a sticking point. “You can’t bring a child to the front line.” “I’m not a child!” Aerith stomped childishly. “I’m nine!” The troop leader looked to Sephiroth, who merely shrugged. “She’s a biter.” Aerith punctuated the statement by smiling wide enough to show all her teeth and if he wasn’t mistaken, the troop leader looked a little bit terrified. Sephiroth didn’t blame him.

I went back and reread the stars still conspire for us over the weekend and while I do feel it's a little surface level for a complicated reunion, I remembered how proud I was of writing Louis when he is so scary to write and feeling like I did a decent job. Especially when it came to Louis and Daniel's relationship - my kingdom for a decent look at the meeting of Louis, Armand and Daniel during QOTD!

“And perhaps, when it comes to the one who makes us, it’s a love we will never move past,” Louis admitted. “No matter how much time has passed, nor how truly infuriating they are.” “Tell me about it,” Daniel agreed quietly. “I did tell you about it, Daniel.” Louis said. “You wrote a book about it. They made a movie about it, and this is why Lestat likes to sing Sympathy for the Devil on the karaoke.” Daniel burst out laughing. “You’ve gone to karaoke?” he asked. The idea was hilarious now that he considered it. “Do you perform, or do you bring a book?” “Don’t be ridiculous,” Louis replied. “I bring three books. I’m not sure what one I’ll feel like reading.”

One piece in JBSWM-verse that I rarely talk about but is one of my favourite little one-shots is a very special episode, where a young Sephiroth is on a Sesame Street style show featuring Stamp and all his puppet pals but he doesn't understand the concept or meaning behind doing a children's show so it's a disaster.

“Would this have made you feel better as child?” “It might,” Angeal said. “It's got bright colours, a very impressive SOLDIER and repetitive music. Bright, exciting and repetitive appeals to children.” “You realise you just described Genesis,” Sephiroth replied. Angeal chuckled, “Genesis is not suitable for children because he swears too much. He would steal the spotlight from the puppets.” “How do you know all this?” Sephiroth asked. “I pay attention at the charity benefits,” Angeal pointed out. “I've done a few hours here and there with kids, they like the buster sword. Apparently it's very 'cool'.” “I was advised against using masamune,” Sephiroth replied. “My experience with small children is non-existent.” “Not even when you were one?” Angeal asked. “I have always been around adults,” Sephiroth replied, then bobbed his head. “Rufus Shinra, perhaps.” The Presidents son was a couple of years their junior, so Angeal wasn't sure that counted. “What about events?” he asked. “Or missions? You might have seen children on missions.” Sephiroth seemed to consider it. “Do they need to have been alive at the time?”

Lastly, with all of the @birdblacksocialclub art on Genesis and Angeal growing together, I've got to say that I am incredibly proud of (especially the last two chapters of) the ghost in you. Miniroth crashes onto Banora instead of going to Wutai and hijinks ensue, but I decided on a whim to try and use it to play with different POV perspectives so I wrote from both Genesis' foster mother and Gillian Hewley's POVs and I'm beyond happy with how they came about.

“Would someone care to explain why we appear to have a visitor?” Celeste crossed her arms. “You know Angeal,” Genesis shrugged, gesturing towards Angeal as if he had anything to do with her question.  “He’s always here.” “Being smart-mouthed will not help your case,” Celeste huffed. “Would you prefer I was stupid-mouthed?” Genesis asked. "That seems very counterintuitive to me being smart because my mouth is part of me." Celeste was almost sure she heard Angeal mutter something about it being most of him. She'd have liked to tell him off for it if it weren't largely true. “Genesis, I am tired, I am wet and I am on my very last nerve.” Celeste indicated the strange looking girl.  Quite pretty, she supposed, but dressed for what, cave exploration? There were several on the island. Wait. Was it a girl at all? It was so difficult to tell in that garb, but the more she looked at it, the more something else slipped into her mind. It looked more like armour and yes, that looked military style. There had been some military photographs in the newspapers, even if she rarely bothered to read the actual articles, the style looked familiar and there had been fighting, hadn’t there? “He was just checking up on the phone lines,” Genesis said, looking at him. “Very thorough service, our telephone company, you know.”

Thank you for sending this to me @hekateinhell!

[sophieswundergarten]

Hello Sophie. I had a hard time picking just one passage for you DVD commentary, but I finally had to go with your wonderful fic of Nicholas and Nathaniel leaving each other messages. Specifically these ones done by Mr. Theater kid himself:

Why won’t you talk to me? I thought you said we’d figure it out. Together. Why aren’t you there anymore?

[The little voice breaks]

Why aren’t you here for me? Why did you leave? Are you better off now? You don’t need me anymore, now that you’ve got a family of your own? Well.

[A quick gasp]

Then I’ll just be fine by myself. It’s not like I needed you, anyway. I’ve always been more realistic, better at controlling myself. I can succeed on my own.

[The voice breaks again, coming out as a whisper]

Enjoy your new family, Nicky.

[Receiver clicks]

And then this one:

[The voice is smaller, wounded, and trying to cover it]

Maybe if you’d stayed, then we would have been able to accomplish this together. I’d certainly have made faster progress if I had someone I could rely on to assist.

[Angry]

But, of course, you’re hardly that person anymore. I’ll have to make do with what I’ve found at university.

[The voice has grown soft again, almost lonely]

They’re nothing like you, though. Not a one of them understands. No one ever has, not since you, Nick— Nicholas.

[The speaker clears their throat]

Well, as I said, don’t trouble yourself with looking for me. I’ve built up an ironclad system for disguising my identity. Enjoy whatever you’re doing with your… life.

[Receiver clicks]

I’d have honestly copied the whole fic if I could, but the transitions in Curtain’s character were especially well done.

Hello, my friend!!!! Thank you so much for the Ask!

I honestly don't have much to say about this one, though. I'm learning a bit about how screenplays are written right now, and this was in the middle of my Wolf 359 listen, so I guess there's that.

But I always "hear" dialogue in my head before I write it. So this being only dialogue freed me up to do some unconventional descriptions. I really wanted to give an outside perspective, which is why it says things like "the voice" or "the speaker"; it feels different to picture just a voice full of vulnerable emotion than to think specifically of Curtain or Mr. Benedict talking.

[lookninjas]

Happened upon another “Top 10 Terry Hall” songs list today, and got all excited like I always do, just to find that it was mostly songs from the Specials’ first two albums that he didn’t write and one that he didn’t even sing (on the album; he sang it live, but still), so fuck it.  Here’s my personal favorite top 10 non-Specials Terry Hall songs:

10,  Goodbye Sun Valley, the Colourfield

I’ve got the devil in me, not the devil I’d be in Sun Valley

You know, it’s a weird thing.  On an album vs. album basis, I’d argue that The Colour Field beats out the wildly inconsistent Deception, hands down.  But on a song by song basis, Deception just has those few songs that are so damn good.  This, for me, is one of the standouts, a playful music hall number replete with tinkling piano, jazzy clarinet and horns, accordion, and that ba-da-da chorus.  One of his better vocals, too.

9.  Suburban Cemetery, Terry Hall

They didn’t see the billboard that says ‘Stay away from my suburban heaven’

I’m not going to lie; there are moments on later Specials’ albums where I kind of miss Jerry Dammers’ poison pen.  Terry Hall wrote self-laceration like none other, but he sometimes pulled his punches a bit too much.  This particular nineties alt-pop confection, however, takes aim at mild-mannered middle-class bigotry and connects perfectly.  Sugary and scathing.

8.  Sugar Man, Silent Poets feat. Terry Hall

Some thought he would shine, others thought he would fade.

The thing is, there’s a reason so many dub/electronic/trip-hop artists wanted a Terry Hall feature back in the day.  It’s because it fucking works.  This gently melancholy track from Silent Poets, with its murmured spoken word verses and hypnotic chorus, is a perfect example of why.  The video somehow manages to capture the exact feelings of waiting at a bus stop, taking part in a performance art piece, and trying not to attract attention in a psychiatrist’s waiting room, which suits the song down to the ground.

7.  Life in General (Lewe in Algemeen), the Fun Boy Three

Run to where the money flows.  That’s life in general, I suppose

The Fun Boy Three is such a cohesive album that it’s difficult sometimes to pull out highlights.  This one marries a narrative of privilege, deprivation, and indifference to simple, chantlike vocals and dizzyingly complicated percussion, and the whole thing comes off perfectly. 

6.  Walk Into the Wind, Vegas

Before you taste another tear, my love, I know a place where rainbows end

Razzies, turn your location on.  I just want to talk.

Seriously, though, if it weren’t for the Showgirls connection, would anyone have anything bad to say about this song?  It’s a slice of saccharine nineties pop perfection that stands up there with the best of Savage Garden, and it’s got Siobhan Fahey.  There is nothing not to love about this song.  Unless you think it’s cool to hate.

(Sidenote:  U2 didn’t deserve the hate for “Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me” either, and I stand by that.  Their nineties glam phase is probably the most interesting thing they ever did.  Like Tom Cruise playing Lestat.)

5.  Our Lips Are Sealed, the Fun Boy Three

Pay no mind to what they say.  No one listens anyway.

A breakout hit for the Go-Gos and a UK top ten for the Fun Boy Three, this one makes all the lists for a reason.  Nicky Holland’s rearrangement on this keeps the tempo up but gentles the mood way down, taming the staccato guitar line with swirls of cello.  June Miles-Kingston’s vocals float above Terry’s in a lovely duet.  An 80s classic.

4.  The Hour of Two Lights, Terry Hall and Mushtaq

All that stands between us is the hour of two lights.

Everyone take a moment to thank Damon Albarn for introducing Terry Hall to Mushtaq.  The resulting album was absolutely nothing that anyone had planned on, with guest artists pulled in from all over the world to put their piece in, but it’s a fascinating, complicated thing.  This song is a distinct highlight -- a tangoish line for the cello and bass, floating violas and violins, intricate percussion and Terry’s vocal line, hushed almost to ghostliness.  Thanks again, Damon.

3.  A Room Full of Nothing, Terry Hall

And whoever said it was meant to be easy? Someone who knew how to cope.

Fun Boy Three’s “Well Fancy That,” saw Terry wedding lyrical devastation to a disorienting circus-like 6/8 time.  “A Room Full of Nothing” starts with a similar premise, but ratchets up the aggression with heavier organ lines and just the right amount of distorted guitar.  The vocals are smooth, confident, and mature; the lyrics are bitter and bleak.  It shouldn’t go down as easily as it does, but Terry always did wear his misery well.

2.  I Drew a Lemon, Terry Hall

I drew a lemon; I punched that gift horse in the mouth.

Terry’s wit at its absolute wickedest.  Ridiculously quotable from beginning to end, this self-deprecating ode to a divorce in progress shuffles along like its hangdog narrator, finding the funny side of all the misery.  At least he’s still got that Christmas bonus from the CIA to look forward to.

1.  Monkey in Winter, the Colourfield

We never touched.  We never kissed.  We never loved, but we thought we did.

It’s the lyrics for me on this one, honestly.  Don’t get me wrong -- this is one of the songs on Deception where the heavily 80s production really works for me.  I like how the synths sound like they were stolen from David Bowie’s spaceship.  I don’t even mind the vocal distortion.  But it’s the lyrics.  I close my eyes and I start to count the lonesome people leaving town.  It came and went the way things come and go.  What the eyes don’t see, you know the heart won’t miss.  It’s a perfect sepia-toned memory of something that might’ve been beautiful, if it’d ever been at all.  Gorgeous, gorgeous song.

Bonus:  The Man at C&A, the Specials

I’m just saying, if we have to put a classic Specials cut on every list, “The Man at C&A” is right there.

[wildbanana]

Mention of alcohol, drugs(weed).

Introduction to Farcus, Nicky and Scarlet.

Farcus: he/it Nicky: he/they Scarlet: they/them

During the early hours of 7 am, Nicky wakes up having to piss. Urgently. He walks to the bathroom still half asleep, which leads him to walk into the locked bathroom door.

“Farcus, man. How many times do I have to tell you, stop falling asleep in my bathroom. You always lock the door and I have to wait for you to wake up from your drunken sleep.” Nicky says mildly frustrated.. Farcus is still waking up. “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah…yeah I did. Sorry, still-“ *burps* “-still waking up.” He responds all slow and groggy.

Nicky sighs, grabbing different bottles from a nearby table. “Open up, some aspirin and water. I even have some liquid I.V…” Farcus gets the door open and Nicky comes in with the bottles. “Here…”

“Thanks Nicky,” he says, voice gravelly. “I don’t know what I’d do with out ya.”

“Probably out in a ditch man, you have got to lay up on the alcohol.”

Farcus sighs. “I know…I know…” he moves himself to the bed to lay down, taking some aspirin and water before doing so. “Can’t deny last night was fun though…” Farcus grins as his eyes start to droop shut.

“Once you’re feeling alright, you should come outside with me. Get you some fresh air, maybe go for a ride?” Nicky asks.

Softly. “Yeah…I’d love that…”

“Hell yeah, I’ve had some ideas actually.” Now excited since writing music is one of his favorite things to do. Once Nicky starts writing, you have to pull him away from the pages.

Farcus smiles sleepily at his friend. He thinks about how grateful he is for the friends he’s got.

“Maybe one day our music will take us someplace bigger and better… maybe we’ll find more people like us Nicky.” He moves to lay on his back to look up at the ceiling that’s still spinning.

“Yeah, me too. I appreciate the few out there who’s supporting us already.” He pulls a stress ball out of his pocket, gently squeezing it. “Would you like some toast? I’ll go make you some toast.”

“Toast would be LOVELY Nicky…thanks.” He sits up to add the liquid I.V. packet to his water. “The sooner I feel better, the sooner we can create…” he grins to himself.

The two take the morning to recoup and discuss what they plan to write next, but let’s take a step back and rewind back to lasts night wild adventure. What led up to Farcus ending up in the toilet this morning…

The day before, 8 pm. It’s a Friday night and the band meets at their local bar.

Farcus and Nicky had met up with the rest of the band. Which was one other person… but hey. You make do with what you got, right?

“Heyyyy, Scarlet!!” Farcus runs up to them. “Hug?” He asks before pouncing. Scarlet gives an approving nod. Farcus gives them a good squeeze before letting go. “How’s the crowd? Is Ben working tonight?”

“Eh, could be a better night. But now that you’re here we can really get this party started! And yeah, Ben’s here.” Scarlet grins. “Come on, I’m already three drinks in. He’s got something waiting for you guys to try. It’s really good!” Scarlet wobbles a little as they turn around but they catch themself before tripping. They’re a bit of a light weight so three is about enough for em.

“Looks like you’re already at your limit I see, ya should’ve waited for us!” Nicky teases putting his arm around them.

The group enter the bar and Farcus steps right in up to the counter.

“Oh Beeennnn, we’ve arrived!” He hollers out.

Ben overhears from the kitchen and comes out and greets the two that just arrived.

“Hey hey hey! How are we doing tonight? I’m sure Scarlet already told ya I whipped up something new to try.” He grins, excited to share.

“Yeah, they sure did. I can’t wait to see what you got back there man. I know it’s gonna be bomb!” Farcus licks his lips, ready to have the best night of his life.

“Well alright! Why wait any longer? I’ll go make them up right quick.” He walks back into the kitchen to make his concoctions. After a few minutes he comes back out with these beautiful drinks.

Nicky’s jaw drops. “AND it’s a frozen drink?? Oooh Ben you did NOT.”

“But I did!” His smile wide. “I’m so excited to start serving frozen drinks now! Especially with summer coming up. It’s gonna be h-o-t HOT!”

“You can say that again. Now lemme get a taste of this! I can’t stop staring at how pretty the colors are too!” The drink is a nice light shade of blues and pinks.

Farcus and Nicky open up their straws and take a sip. Their eyes widen.

“Oh that’s dangerous, you can’t taste the alcohol.” Nicky looks to Farcus.

“Did you put extra in there for me?” Farcus asks Ben.

“I sure did. And I still hid the taste, yes?” He grins.

“For sure, you’re the best man. Really, one day you gotta get outta here and show the world what you can do with these drinks my man.” Farcus encourages him.

“Shucks man, you’re gonna make me blush.” He jests. “But yeah, one day. I’m trying to save up to get out of here eventually…that’s gonna be a long while until then.”

“I feel you there…” Farcus looks to his friends then back to Ben. “One day we’ll get outta here too with our music.”

“Have you guys written anything new?”

“Mm not yet. Still gotta write a new single.” Farcus reaches for his septum to put it back in place. “But I’ve been writing down ideas in my notebook for themes I’m going for when I sit down and write the song.”

“Well I can’t wait to hear what you’re thinking up in there. Now, y’all relax and enjoy those drinks. First one’s on the house!” He turns around and goes back to the kitchen. The group yell out their thanks before finding a table to sit at.

“So…” Scarlet speaks up. “What’s the move tonight? What kind of trouble do we wanna get into?”

“Hm…I wanna make it kind of exciting for the coppers. I’m sure they need something to do around this little town.” Nicky thinks. “What can we do that we haven’t already done thought?”

“Ugh.” Farcus chimes in. “That’s the prob, we’ve already done just about anything we could think of. What’s more exciting than setting that old run down building on fire?”

“That was like, the most exciting thing I’ve seen happen in this town.” Nicky replies.

“Now I want s’mores…” Scarlet’s stomach growls.

“That’s an idea I suppose, we could have some drinks and then set us up a nice little bonfire back at our place.” Farcus suggests.

“Sounds like a good time to me. I’ll stay sober enough so somebody can be in control of the fire alright?”

“More drinks for us then!” Farcus jokes then takes a sip or two from his drink. “Man, Ben really outdid himself huh? Shit is delicious.”

The crew sit, chat and drink for a while before they decide to leave the bar and set up their bonfire in their backyard.

Nicky laid out blankets and bean bags for them to sit on. Farcus sits between the two, Scarlet leaning their head on Farcus’s shoulder.

“Hey, could you make me a S’more Nicky?” Scar asks softly then yawns.

“Sure thing.” He gets a skewer and digs for a marshmallow. “Burnt to a crisp?”

“You know me so well.” They smile.

Nicky sticks the mellow into the fire and sets it ablaze. “One crisp mellow coming right up!” He sticks the skewer in the ground as the mellow darkens. He sets up the crackers and chocolate, blowing out the flame in the now gooey mellow, he squeezes them together sandwiching the mellow to remove it from its skewer. “Here you go Scar.”

They sit up and grab their s’more. “ mmm mm thank you Nicky!” They take a bite. “Perfection!” They munch on their s’more and then begin to drift away to a light slumber on Farcus’s shoulder.

“Looks like they’re out for the night…” Nicky says.

Farcus is sunken into the bean bag that was brought out. “I don’t blame them, it’s cozy out here.”

“Speaking of sleepy… look what I got for us.” Nicky pulls out a special little bag of edibles. “I got these for you…” his face growing red from the alcohol setting in.

Farcus looks him in the eyes, oblivious to his own rosy cheeks. Those drinks are now starting to creep up on him. “Man, whatever he put in those drinks…it’s starting to creep up on me man…”

Nicky laughs. “Would you still like one?”

“Does a fish glubba glub?” Farcus smiles with his teeth real wide.

Nicky laughs. “Man, that’s how you know it’s hitting ya.” He reaches into the bag and holds out his hand.

Farcus leans forward, carefully to not disturb Scarlet, opening his mouth awaiting the gummy. “Aaahhhhh!”

Nicky places the cube onto Farcus’s pierced tongue. “Now these are REAL strong.” He then places one in his own mouth. “Now to wait for these bad boys to kick in. I’ll grab myself another beer from the fridge. Don’t let the fire eat ya!” Nicky walks inside.

“Yeah yeah!” He says before Nicky is out of ear shot. He turns his head to face Scarlet as they start to slowly wake back up.

“How long was I out?” Scarlet yawns.

“Not very long actually…we just took a gummy. Want one too?” He offers.

“I think I’ll actually head home, gotta go check on my ferret.”

“Oh yeah, gotta take care of your little fur -erp- baby!”

“Did that alcohol just now kick in?”

“Sure did, pretty much when you shut your eyes.” A grin is plastered on its face.

“Heh, of course.”

Nicky comes back out. “Ah, you’re awake again Scar!”

“Was wondering where you wandered off to.” They smile. “I was actually about to walk home.”

“We’ll walk ya! You can walk, right Farcus?”

“Yeah, I’m goooood.” He says as Scarlet gets up offering their hand to help him up.

“Careful now, you’re loooking a bit wobbly.” Scar holds onto Farcus.

“I’m good I’m good!” He shoots up, shooting straight up like he was called to attention.

“Man, what did Ben put in that drink…” Nicky laughs.

“Well I’m surprised he didn’t just collapse just then!”

“I believe him now about being good! But we’ll see how he feels once the gummy kicks in. So we better be quick, good thing you’re right down the road.”

The three walk to Scarlet’s home making sure they make it back safely during the night hours. Nicky and Farcus then make their way back to their place.

“Hey-hic- Hey Nicky…I’m gonna go soak my ass in the tub mmmmmmkay?”

“Haha, yeah sure man. See you in a bit.”

Farcus stumbles his way to the bathroom, fumbling to take his clothes off. His boxers still attached to his ankle, he starts up the tub. He turns to the radio on the counter and turns it on. Tool is playing on a CD.

“Ooooh yes, this is gonna be sooo- hic- nice. And I think the gummy is taking over me.” He kicks his boxers away and takes a seat in the warm water filling up. “Shoot, I just might fall asleep here…” he starts to sing along a little to his music.

After he washes himself he can’t help but relax and begin to drift to sleep. Nicky had been sitting and waiting for such a while now that he ended up falling asleep on the couch.

End part 1.

[constelationprize]

can you tell us about any wips that are kevjean or kerejean?

I loved the snippets for the gothic horror au and I’d love more of your writing about them

I do have a kevjean WIP there's very near and dear to my heart that I haven't talked much about before. Or maybe I have I honestly don't remember and it's two am and I should be looking at trees so bear with me, okay?

quiet out loud is my Raven exposé kevjean fic. I started writing it before TSC was even announced so I had a very specific vision for kevjean's future I still intend to stick to, but there is a planned plot point I suspect the second book will touch on, so I'm waiting to see how that turns out so I can spin it in this AU.

But anyway it's about reuniting with your ex crush/best friend/trauma bonded cat on the absolutely worst circumstances possible. It's also, not exactly my two cents because I'm not that self important, but a exploration of scandals involving famous people (especially when it's around traumatic subjects) and how the public reaction to that can often be Fucking Weird.

Anyway here, have a snippet of Kevin Day taken five seconds before disaster struck:

He remembered looking over his shoulder in the last quarter and seeing one of the PAs whispering something at Coach Marinho’s ear, and how her eyebrows nearly disappeared on her hairline. Kevin had a second to frown, and wondered if maybe Park’s sprain on the first quarter ended up more serious than it looked, but then Celia was rebounding the ball his way and he had to move on. The Dragonflies won, as expected, 8-5. Kevin scored three of those goals, and his shoulder was only faintly aching when they filed out of the court and into the Away locker room. He had gotten a bad check on the first game of the playoffs that had him worried for a minute, there. He was just toweling off his hair when he noticed the uncommon silence around him. His team is usually quite chatty, even if he himself doesn’t participate very often. Seven years out of the Foxes taught Kevin some manners, and he learned to keep his post-game opinions to himself when not directly asked, which mainly meant not talking at all. Still, he liked to listen to the friendly chatter of his teammates as background noise, and its sudden absence was jarring. So was looking up to find them all staring at him. “Can I help you?” No one seemed inclined to talk, and all eyes turned to their captain. Jordan Park, backliner, main draw of the Dragonflies’ strong defense line and one of the only players with seniority over Kevin in the team. In fact, he had been a senior with the Jackals when Kevin was in his freshman year – the Ravens won their match, but Park was a good share of the reason why it was only by a hair. Eleven years was on the longer end of a pro backliner career, and with the frequency which minor checks on Park turned into injuries lately, he likely didn’t have a lot of seasons left in him. Kevin tried not to flex his shoulder. “Uh, Day,” He stammered, and if Kevin was on edge before, the hesitant tone made him want to hurl. “Maybe you should check your phone.” Kevin's first instinct was to think, My dad. He was fishing his phone out of the locker, powering it up and watching with fascinated dread as the notifications poured in. The ‘06 Foxes (and Robin) groupchat was exploding. Nicky had tried to videocall even though it was an ungodly hour in Berlin. Neil had sent him ten messages that were differently worded pleas of “call us when the game is over” and “no matter what you do, DON’T READ IT”. What it meant was left unhelpfully out of the texts. Most damning of all were his top notifications. Andrew had called him twice, five minutes after the bell rang. If Kevin had hit his locker before the showers, he would have catched it exactly. Andrew never called anyone more than once. According to him, if someone didn’t pick up the first time, it was no longer his responsibility. Checking his phone did nothing to answer Kevin’s doubts and he could feel the panic setting in his lungs. And then Andrew called the third time.

[its-toguchi-do-now]

WIP game, This Bitch Again 👀

this is one of the non-ck fics i listed lol. it's a warrior nun/the old guard crossover where mary meets the guards and joe and nicky helped put adriel in his tomb. i think i've posted about it on my main blog too. here's a snippet for you:

Joe and Nicky sat down to watch it together, promptly snuggling into each other’s sides. Mary dropped into a chair at the table, Nile quickly joining her.

Mary jabbed her thumb at the guys. “So they’re…”

“Together?” Nile asked. “Yeah. Have been since the Crusades.”

“It’s where we met,” Joe called.

Mary sighed heavily. “Right. How does… how does this work? All of this? How are they alive? How are you alive?”

Nile shrugged. “It just wasn’t our time to die yet, apparently. We don’t really know why. That’s just how it is.”

“That’s insane.” Mary put her head in her hands.

Joe laughed. “More insane than getting magic powers because you got some angel’s halo stuck in your back?”

Nicky shuddered. “I’d hardly call that guy an angel. Glad Areala locked him up when she had the chance.”

“True that, Nicolo.”

Mary wanted to ask if they were talking about Adriel. She wanted to ask if they new Areala personally, if they knew the true story about what went down. But those concerns were pressed down by her sudden realization of where she knew Nicky from.

“Wait, Nicolo?” she asked. “Like, Nicolo di Genova?”

That caught their attention. Nicky raised his eyebrows. “Um, yeah. How did you know that?”

Mary just stared at him wide-eyed. “Saint Nicolo di Genova? Patron saint of the Order of the Cruciform Sword?”

Of course Mary had recognized him. There were old paintings in Cat’s Cradle of two men, Joe and Nicky, although they were simply known as a saint and his travelling companion. It was said they died in battle together, and there were frequent bets on whether or not they were gay. Apparently only half of that was true, and if Shannon was still alive, Mary would owe her twenty euros.

Nicky’s mouth dropped open. “They canonized me? I’m not even dead!”

“I mean, you’re only canon to the OCS, but yeah.”

“Wait, do people pray to me?” Nicky almost fell out of his seat to look her in the eyes. “Are there actual, real life people that fucking pray to me?”

Mary had to think about it for a moment, but yeah, there probably were people that prayed to him. She nodded slowly.

-

also, i haven't finished writing it yet, but this is where the line for the title comes from:

Joe suddenly grabbed his arm. “Nicolo. Please tell me I’m imagining this.” He pointed to the tv screen, where news footage showed Adriel performing some sort of “miracle” and attracting millions to join him.

Nicky’s face immediately dropped from excitement to pure rage and disgust. “That bitch again? We locked him in 20 feet of stone, how did he get out?”

[nevermindirah]

Yitzhak!

is a character! who Gregadiah What-Is-Math Rucka gave us almost no information about!

I've gone through Tales Through Time #6: The Bear and #1: My Mother's Axe with several magnifying glasses and done a lot of googling and taken my copy of the Tanakh off my shelf for the first time since (well, since the last time I needed to read Torah for TOG reasons, which I think was Booker Passover headcanons) and here's the best I can come up with.

In The Bear we meet someone who goes by the name Isaac Blue:

Read on for a lot of comic panel analysis and historical research and Jewish flailing!

So what do we know about this Isaac Blue person?

He's Lorge, he's got curly hair, he's basically a taller version of Joe as drawn by Leandro Fernández (ie an antisemitic stereotype why the fuck did they approve this character design?? and then why did they double down and copy-paste it to Yitzhak??):

He's got a mezuzah on the doorpost of his house in Alaska!

I screamed about the mezuzah way back in January in this post where I (very reasonably) assumed this character was Joe and spun myself a tale about how Booker is still Joe's brother so the mezuzah stays up even though Booker isn't welcome in that house for a century. Bottom line: the mezuzah is a tradition with origins in the commandment from Deuteronomy 6:9 to "write the words of G-d on the gates and doorposts of your house" and evolved over the course of the Rabbinic period into the modern mezuzah we see here.

I did unnecessary levels of google image search to glean absolutely no useful information about Yitzhak’s origins from this panel:

I've decided the variant cover of TTT 6 is Yitzhak because of a panel in My Mother’s Axe, shown here, and what's likely an unnecessarily deep reading of Exodus, discussed further down:

The person at the right of the bottom panel is wearing the same clothes as in the TTT 6 variant cover and has the same shoulder-length curly hair and hairy forearms.

Left to right, the people in this panel are Lykon (I'll never get used to him being white in the comics), Andy, Noriko (I think? why doesn't Andy mention her by name here?), and Yitzhak. Andy's robe has a stereotypically Greek design on the sleeve cuff, and I had to stop myself 10 minutes into a Wikipedia rabbit hole because Gregorforth doesn't think that deep about this shit. The solid clues as to timeline that we get in this panel are:

Andy's iron axe

the presence of Lykon, who Andy first met in 331 BCE

So all we know is that Yitzhak is an immortal, he was a contemporary of Lykon, and he's Jewish.

Isaac is the most common Anglicization of Yitzhak (which in turn is the most common Anglophone transliteration of יִצְחָק‎), and Greg always uses the (transliterated) Hebrew when he refers to this character. Yitzhak is the long-awaited child of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis, the child who G-d commanded Abraham to sacrifice but spared at the last minute. I see what you did there, Gregory.

Why Isaac Blue? This is where I pulled out my Tanakh. According to the New JPS translation, blue is the first of three colors of yarn listed in Exodus 35:6 among the gifts requested of the Israelites to construct the priestly garments for the Tabernacle and later the Temple. Then in Numbers 15:38 the Israelites are commanded to "make themselves fringes on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe at each corner."

And now for sandbox timelines party! Gregadiah gave us ALMOST NOTHING to go on, so I'm gonna make my own fun.

I, like many modern Jews, think the stories in the Tanakh are foundational mythology that are valuable because of how they've shaped our people but that contain some fucked-up shit and either way aren't meant to be a record of historical facts. Modern scholarship generally agrees that the community we now call Jews emerged as a distinct group of Canaanites sometime in the late Bronze Age (cw this video's host says the Name of G-d aloud despite being a religious studies scholar who knows that is not a name anyone but the Temple priests are allowed to say). The first non-Biblical written record of the people Israel is from an Egyptian source c. 1200 BCE, and the Biblical kingdom of David and Solomon was probably an exaggeration of whatever really happened during the Bronze Age Collapse. We start getting into historical-fact territory a few centuries into the Iron Age:

588 BCE Solomon's Temple destroyed, Babylonian exile begins

538 BCE Cyrus of Persia allows Jews to return to Jerusalem

515 BCE Second Temple construction complete

332 BCE Alexander the Great At Something I Guess conquered Judea, beginning the Hellenistic period of Jewish history — 331 BCE Andy & Lykon find each other

167 BCE another jerkface Greek king desecrated the Temple and basically outlawed Judaism

164 BCE recapture of Jerusalem and Temple rededication during the Maccabean Revolt

70 CE destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans, beginning of the Rabbinic period of Jewish history that we're still in now

What if... and hear me out... what if immortals come in pairs, and the pairs are:

Andy & Quynh

Joe & Nicky

Booker & Nile

LYKON & YITZHAK

What if Yitzhak was a priest of the Second Temple? What if he and Lykon killed each other just like Joe and Nicky would in the same city around 1300 years later, but instead of enemies-to-lovers speedrun with an absurdly long happily-ever-after, when Lykon died permanently Yitzhak decided to separate from Andy and Noriko and become the hermit we later see in Alaska?

We don't know how old Yitzhak is compared to the others, only that he was a contemporary of Lykon at a time when Andy was using an Iron Age version of her mother's axe. Other plausible origins for him:

a Jew of the early Rabbinic period, maybe a child or grandchild of people who were still alive before the Second Temple was destroyed

a Judean of the Second Temple era under the Romans or Greeks or Persians, maybe a priest, maybe not

an exilee in Babylon, maybe of the generation who got to return, maybe of the generation who was exiled (he doesn't look like he was 50 at his first death but who knows, he could've been mortal for both)

an Israelite of the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah, maybe a priest of Solomon's Temple or again maybe not

an Israelite wandering in the desert with Moses

THEE Yitzhak, ben Avraham v'Sarah, our patriarch who was brought up for sacrifice and then spared, and then spared again, and then spared again, and again, and again...

or! he could also be a Canaanite or other Levantine who predates the people Israel, who at some point in his very long life chose to join our mixed multitude, who like Andromache before him (and like Avram and Sarai would in this case do after him) took a new name to reflect the magnitude of influence this people has had on him

Why do I keep saying Yitzhak might have been a priest? It's thanks to the one detail in the artwork I could plausibly connect to solid research without getting a PhD real quick. Take a look at the gorgeous detail on the opening of his robe in the TTT 6 cover. He's dressed in rags, holes and dirt everywhere, rough stitches probably from hasty repair work — except for the neck opening. Compare that to this description from Exodus 39:23 of the construction of the priestly garments for the Tabernacle: "The opening of the robe, in the middle of it, was like the opening of a coat of mail, with a binding around the opening, so that it would not tear."

The next verses describe the intricate designs for the hem of the priestly garment. Yitzhak's ragged garment looks like the hem was torn off entirely.

Am I overthinking this? Yes I am! You're welcome!

My friend and historical research hero @lady-writes​ is in a Discord server with Gregadiah and asked the man himself some questions about all this. He clearly thinks he's being sneaky?? No shit Yitzhak is Jewish, dude, I want DETAILS!

I will not be giving up my Jewish Booker headcanon, I've put too much thought into it by now, the internalized shame of antisemitism explains Booker's depression too well for me, and it just adds so much richness to Booker/Nile both being children of forced diasporas. Fortunately (for him, not me, bc I'd do it anyway!) Gregothy supports fan headcanons even when they're not in line with his own:

One last thing before I close like 100 research tabs and go back to writing historical fantasy and/or porn! I love that, despite that atrocious caricature of a face design, our canon Jew and our fanon Jew are both Lorge and Soft and Kind, flying the face of the antisemitic stereotype of Ashkenazi Jewish men as small and weak, but also not falling into the New Jew / Muscle Jew stereotype that Zionism created. (I am trying SO HARD not to talk about Israel/Palestine for once ughhhhhhhhhh) Anyway here's a (US-centric but very good) primer on both these stereotypes of Jewish masculinity. Is this why I'm forever projecting my transmasc diasporist feels onto Jewish Booker the service sub? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’ll reblog a second version of this with full image descriptions so that there’s a version accessible for folks who need IDs as well as a version accessible for folks who get overwhelmed by walls of text.

[tressasinterlude]

𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 #𝟑: Female Public Figures Dating Men with Questionable Views That Contradict Their Image & Alleged Politics

𝗗𝗜𝗦���𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗥: These rant blog posts are really just reflective of my thoughts at the time that I make them and are posted here because I need an outlet to release all of this shit I have going on my busy ass mind. That’s it and that’s all. Now let’s get into it..

This rant was greatly inspired by none other than Ms. Robyn Rihanna “Tell Your Faves To Pull Up [in regards to social injustices directly affecting black people]” Fenty and her openly colorist boyfriend, A$AP Rocky. Aside from the fact that Rihanna tends to slip under the radar and is never held accountable for her problematic ways due to her conventional beauty (i.e. Her heavy usage of anti-Asian slurs, particularly targeted towards Chris Brown’s ex gf, Karrueche), it’s very alarming that a woman who has an entire makeup brand with a campaign based around the inclusivity of ALL black women is publicly flaunting a beau who once said that DSBW do not look good with red lipstick.

And yes, I’m very much aware that Rakim said this tasteless comment over 8 years ago but from the looks of it, not much has really changed with him. Don’t @ me about it neither because I don’t care.

Also peep how he compares a hypothetical darkskinned woman to a man (Wesley Snipes) while trying to explain how his antiblackness isn’t wrong because he said something about white women as well. Gaslighting at its finest. Don’t you just love it! 😀

Furthermore, you would think that somebody of Rihanna’s level of stature would know not to associate themselves with someone as messy as A$AP Rocky but... Stupid is what stupid does, I guess! I can’t even begin to place the blame on him anymore because he’s revealed his true colors and we all have made the deliberate choice to either accept it or don’t and have discontinued all support for him. Unfortunately, misogynoir is never the dealbreaker for most people and the hatred for [dark-skinned] black women is so engrained in society that it’s frowned upon when we publicly speak out against it. Very ass backwards if you ask me but that’s society for you. Now, enough about that. Let’s focus back on Ms. Vita La Coco.

As a woman who claims to be a girl’s girl and is always presenting herself to be someone who is the epitome of a pro-black feminist bad ass, it just makes her alleged activism come off so disingenuous when she’s also laying down with the same man that actively attacks the demographic she’s supposed to be standing in solidarity with. It’s “Black Lives Matter” on the IG posts but your vagina is getting moist for a man who openly stated he doesn’t relate to what goes on in Ferguson because he lives in Soho & Beverly Hills. Ferguson being the exact place where a 17-year-old black boy’s lifeless corpse laid on the hot concrete for FOUR hours after he was murdered by a police officer. He couldn’t 'relate' to the fate of so many black men, women, and children who are murdered or seriously injured from state-sanctioned violence because they’re poor and he is not or so he thought.

But then again, what can I really expect from a woman who identified as being “biracial” until as recent as roughly 6 years ago? What can I really expect from a woman who called Rachel Dolezal a ‘hero’ for cosplaying as a black woman? I’d be lying if I said my expectations for her were high in this regard because sis has always shown us she was lacking in this department. And just for the record, this is not a personal attack on Rihanna at all for the die-hard Navy stans in the back. I admire her latest fashions and bop my head to her music just like the next person but she’s getting the side-eye from me on this one.

Trust and believe me though, she’s not the only woman who I can call out for being a hypocrite. Of course not! This stone can be cast at a few others. So without further ado, why don’t we bring Ms. Kehlani Parrish to the front of the congregation? Prior to Kehlani’s recent declaration of identifying as a lesbian, her last public relationship with a man was with YG. Yes, the same YG who felt it was necessary to say him & Nipsey had ‘pretty light-skinned’ daughters to raise in the middle of his deceased friend’s memorial. By the way, Nipsey’s daughter is not even light (or at least not in my book anyways.) She’s a very deep caramel tone just like her father which makes what he said even more moronic. Yes, the same YG who thought it was clever idea to use slavery as an aesthetic for a music video to a diss track about 6ix9ine. And yes, also the same YG who has derogatory lyrics targeted at bisexual women. Just to end up sweating the red carpets with one. I swear the jokes just continue to write themselves.

This raises the question once more; How high of a pedestal can I really put a multiracial woman who has a song titled ‘N*ggas’ and when received backlash for the song in question, she used the ultimate ‘I’m mixed’ copout while not having a visibly black parent in sight?

It’s also kind of suspicious to me that many were not privy to Kehlani’s secret romance with Victoria Monét (pictured bottom right) until Victoria did an interview with Gay Times revealing she fell in love with a girl but they subsequently broke up because Victoria had a boyfriend and that girl was pregnant in a polyamorous relationship. Fans began to speculate because both Victoria & Kehlani previously candidly spoke about their sexual orientations, Kehlani had just had Adeya and they both were seemingly close. Their short-lived fling would later be confirmed when Victoria released the song ‘Touch Me’ on her last project and Kehlani hopped on the remix. Meanwhile, Kehlani’s relationship with Shaina (pictured bottom left) was very overt and all over her Instagram feed from my recollection. And as you can see, Shaina looks absolutely nothing like Victoria. They look like the complete opposite of eachother in every aspect which is kind of alarming(?) to say the least because why is it that the women she proudly claims as her partners tend to have a very racially ambiguous look such as herself but her ‘sneaky links’ on the other hand are undoubtedly black women? Again, it could just be me jumping conclusions. You know, I’m kinda good for that however something tells me I’m not. Y’all be the judge of the material though.

Last but not least, I’d like to touch on Ms. Raven Tracy very briefly. I was very weary about even including in this segment and if I should just put her in a entirely separate blog post with other women who openly date abusers despite their checkered past (alongside Nicki Minaj & her r*pist murderer of a husband, India Love & Sheck Wes etc.) being this particular blog post was based around the theme of lightskinned/mixed women dating men with extremely problematic views about DSBW. Raven obviously isn’t lightskinned or mixed however I refused to ignore how contradictory her [former] relationship with an alleged (I used this word very loosely and mainly for legality purposes.) serial r*pist while promoting a brand that is all about feminism & body positivity. This also traces back to A$AP Rocky by default being that Ian Connor is his very close friend and he came to Connor’s defense when several women came forward detailing accounts of Connor allegedly s*xually assaulting them. (I wish I could place the actual video of what A$AP Rocky said verbatim but Tumblr only allows one video per blog post. 🙄)

Back in June of this year, Ian & Raven had a back & forth on Twitter after Ian tweeted about Raven “fucking everybody” behind his back. I can only assume that he was alluding to Tori Brixx posting a video of her ex, Rich the Kid & Raven kissing on her story. Disgusted is not even the word to describe my feeling when she admitted she stuck by Ian despite of his many allegations of s*xual abuse because she loved him and her being a empath causes her to want to help everybody. Imagine aiding and abetting a predator and even paying for his bail & legal fees just to turn around and expect sympathy because this same individual cheated on you and exploited you all over Twitter for the public to see. The same man that you would get back with not even a WEEK after the fact & turn off your IG comments because it isn’t our “business” after making it our business...

That being said, I just genuinely want to know: Why do these women completely go against what they stand for in regards to these men? Maybe it was never genuine from jump street and if that’s the case, why jump on the bandwagon of performative activism? Is it because it’s profitable right now? Is it because disrespecting black women is not an immediate death sentence to your careers and more often than not actually helps you advance even further? I guess that’s the billion dollar question that’ll never truly be answered. I just want the world to stop using black women as their stepping stool to get to where they need to go and then discarding of us when we’re no longer beneficial. Support us all the way or don’t support us at all. We deal with enough disrespect as is so we’d appreciate if y’all would stop straddling the fence and partake in your misogynoir out loud if that’s what you choose to do. We have no use for fake allyship and quite frankly, it’s doing more harm for us than good. Please and thank you!

Sincerely,

- 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙰𝚁 𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙾𝙴. 💋

[idv-marythefairy]

Hi, I just saw your S/O from future headcanons is it ok for me to request it but with different characters? (If I can, the character is vera, Mary, wu chang and geisha) take your time with it.

nsure thing!!! omg, you guys are so sweet!!! i love you <3!!!! don’t be afraid to request anything! i can write whatever you want me to!! it will take time, though, since i have uni and projects to focus on! but fear not, i’m never going to ignore a single request!!

i hope you enjoy!!

VERA, MARY, WU CHANG & GEISHA W/ AN S/O FROM THE FUTURE HEADCANONS:

VERA

what the heck were you on about? what were you telling her? are you nuts? maybe a few screws loose? do you want her to slap you back to reality?

she’s the type of person that won’t believe until they see it with their eyes

you showed her all the things that would surely make her believe you: your laptop, your phone, headphones, internet, new machines etc.

“hmmm... okay!” “ ‘okay’ what?” “okay, i believe you, i presume.” “well... that was...” “what about perfumes? did they make any new ones?”

oh, you took her to many perfume stores and she REFUSED to leave, not until she “smelled every single perfume on the shelves”

“well, the were nice but NEVER better than mine!”

she explored every online store that is fashion and make-up related

one would probably think that she paid more attention to perfume store but i believe that vera, being the proud and arrogant perfumer that she is, wouldn’t even care about other perfume stores, she thinks she’s the best perfumer in the world

she gives off the “feel depressed? add to cart!” vibe

i’d like to think that she’s into modern furniture and she likes to visit IKEA a lot

she usually buys stuff that you believe are unnecessary

“why spend money like that?” “just because! plus, i really needed those!” “this is what you tell me EVERY TIME we go out just to window shop!” “this time i mean it.” “THIS IS WHAT YOU TOLD ME LAST TIME WHEN YOU ALMOST BOUGHT EVERYTHING FROM ZARA!!”

she probably made many social media accounts and posted her perfumes

she gained many followers which she took upon herself -.-’

there was one time during christmas when she bought a whole bunch of expensive gifts for you

“VERA! i mean, it’s not like i don’t like the gifts you bought me but, you spent A LOT of money! don’t do that!” “i’d spend every last penny i have for you ;)” “O//W//O”

expect her to own versace, gucci, prada, fenty beauty, kylie cosmetics and anything that is EXPENSIVE

it made you feel kind of scared to buy her a present since she goes for TOO expensive things

“honey, i love everything yoiu buy me because YOU bought it! the thought is what ACTUALLY counts!”

i am 101% she listens to megan the stallion, cardi b, nicki minaj, the pussycat dolls, destiny’s child and beyonce

bad b!tch energy!

IN FASHION 

nails on pOINT!

MARY

mary was intrigued

she was in awe, she refused to believe you deep inside but a part of her told her that you were actually telling her the truth

she wanted to know EVERYTHING 

literally, you introduced her to zara, sephora, nail artists, makeup artists and many other things and people that you thought she’d aprove of

she bought almost the whole zara, just like vera

she showered you with gifts too

she became familiar with the internet and the right way to use it petty quickly

i’m pretty sure she’d get a bit too weirded out upon hearing megan the stallion and other rappers

“wow, is this what you listen to? why are talking about... girls’ private areas?! have they no shame?!”

i think she’d like clairo, mitski and cavetown, i think she’d live for them

her wardrobe just got upgraded and A LOT BIGGER THAN IT ALREADY WAS!!!

istg, pass some clothes to those in need smh!

anyone can tell that she started having an obsession with buying shoes, a lot of shoes

“um, mary, i think you’re over-doing it-” “shhh! i never over-do it!” “but-” “shhhh!!!”

she became instagram famous as soon as she made the made an account of her own

she CONSTANTLY adds to her story and uploads pictures and videos of her with you, her doing something/ going somewhere etc.

mary is the definition of the word “classy”, trust me!

she has STYLE!

she, also, started using the internet for other reasons too like cooking your favorite food, finding movies to watch with you, book tickets for a trip in france, anything that would make you happy

“and i oop? what is that?” “oh, it’s a phrase we use to express shock, surprise and excitement” “oh, so i can say ‘and i oop’ when i see you :)?” “aw <3″

WU CHANG

“yeah, right!” “fan, maybe they’re telling the truth.” “and how do we know that, xie?”

xie knew that you’d never lie but fan was the one who was hard to convince

four words only: PAIN. IN. THE. BEHIND!

“hmmm... still, not enough to convince me.”

ok, you had had enough and were ready to punch some convincing into him

“fan, that was more than enough! you really can’t believe them?”

okay, he gave in eventually but still had some doubts

they had mixed feelings for all the new gadgets and discoveries and kept their distance until, one day, you caught fan... he was scrolling throughyour phone... watching pewdiepie...

“are you kidding me right now?” “it’s not what you think-” “oh, i think it is what it is, mr fan!” “no, i was just checking...” “checking what? checking out youtube? i never taught you how to use youtube! that means-” “alright, alright! you caught me! i do use your phone!” “i noticed... ‘how to get my girlfriend going’, huh? seriously?” “HOW DID YOU-” “GOOGLE HISTORYYYYYYY!”

i think that they would instantly like travis scott, lil nas x, ayesha erotica, drake and cardi b, nicki minaj or eminem, idk

tiktok obsession

“(y/n), can you do that hot trend on tiktok where the grind-” “NO! PERIODT!”

i think that they’d adapt to the new technologies you brought for them pretty quickly and make a part of their daily life too

every single detail about them changed

they send you links from songs that remind them of you (awww babies!!!!)

they don’t have any interest on gaining any insta followers but for some reason they have a lot

you introduced them to gaming, xie showed no major interest but fan was ALL IN FOR IT!!

definitely into cod, dbd and any mario kart, he LOVES competition 

you always kick his booty at mario XD

they have no interest in buying too much from e-shops, they like shopping but not too much like the two previous characters

they do buy you gifts without your knowledge and surprise you with it after a hard day

they use the internet to find new things to do with you in order to see you with a big and bright smile on your face

GEISHA

okay, same as mary: totally confused and couldn’t believe you tbh

the moment you proved her beliefs wrong, she started asking a whole bunch of questions about the so-called :internet”, how society has evolved, what’s new, what clothes are in-fashion, everything you could possibly imagine

this actually resulted in you introducing her to online shopping and let me tell you, she’s OBSESSED with it!!

she would spend every penny left in her pocket on shopping sprees if she was given the chance to do so

she, too, loves showering you with gifts, she wants to put a smile on your face

she looks up traditional japanese recipes for you to give a try (geisha-> best cook ever <3) (btw, love you geisha mains <3333)

during the holidays, she booked tickets to japan to show you around

she started using, instagram and pinterest to learn what’s new in the japanese fashion so that she can adapt to the new society she now lives in thanks to you

she got the new iphone 12 and was dead ass confused because she mostly used your laptop to do everything for some reason

her texts are freaking adorable, i can’t-

“hey, darling, i hope you’re doing good!” or “have ou eaten? if not, let’s go out to eat at your favorite restaurant!” or “hey, cutie! i just wanted to tell you that i love you ^^”

she learned slang slowly but it was worth it

“lmao means ‘laughing my... behind... off, right?” ‘yes but, like, you still have a thing about saying the word ‘ass’?” “it’s pretty inappropriate, don’t you think?” “i mean, it could have been worse!”

during holidays, i think michiko-san would be the type of person to look up some recipes to get everyone’s spirits in the mood (ex: christmas)

she was quick to catch wind of the LGBTQ+ community and became pretty aware of the existance of people with neopronouns/multiple pronouns, enby people and the list goes on

SUPPORTIVE GAY- i mean, GEISHA GOES BRRRRRRRRRR

netflix is a necessity for her!!

she started watching james charles, nicki tutorials etc. to learn how to do new make-up looks, she started learning how to paint and properly take care of her nails and hair

QUEEN!!! EVERYTHING ON POINT,LOVE!!! <3

she thought that since she liked the way her style and dakly routine changed, a BIG change must take place: redecoration of your apartement!! (if you two live together, if not, then hers)

she got everything ready and IMMEDIATELY got to work!

woman’s dedicated <3

she couldn’t be more thankful that you showed her to this new way of life!!

[aphroditestummyrolls]

F, I, N, and X. And another answer to S if you think of another trope x)

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

“I would like to know one thing.” He finally said, eyes unwavering from his fallen brother. Booker nodded like he had his back to the wall, facing a firing squad. “When, in your resentment of our love, did we become mice to you?”

He flinched away as if Nicky had struck him, or run him through with his sword. But Nicky didn’t want to hurt him, not really. He was seeking answers, leaned against the kitchen counter, wrapped in Joe’s arms.

"What was our crime, Sebastien?" Nicky wanted to know.

“I… I wasn’t thinking. I made a mistake—“

“That is not an answer—“

“Nicky—“ Andy cut in, pushing herself to her feet despite Nile’s sound of displeasure, coming to stand between the two of them.

“It wasn’t supposed to be you!” Booker finally cried, sounding like half a sob. “At first, it was only me I was giving to them, but Copley… he said they needed all of us. In order to help all of these people. I… my son died in agony. His wife suffered a months-long decline.” He tugged his hands through his hair, eyes wide and imploring, flicking back and forth from Nicky to Joe. “I was wrong, Nicky, but I did this from grief and loneliness — never from a place of hate.”

The words felt hollow. Booker’s apologies, explanations, and tears were sucked in by the cavernous vacuum of his rage, quickly burning out to exhaustion and hurt confusion. Nicky was tired.

“Perhaps you didn’t have someone in the way Joe and I have each other, but you have never been alone. You created your loneliness for yourself.

This is the dialogue that started it alllll! This is from Brother of My Heart, and it’s still one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. I recently went through and edited it, so if you haven’t read it, or are looking to reread, you’ll get a remastered version 🥰

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I write for catharsis a lot. I’m always on the lookout for well written, nuanced takes on mental illness and trauma. It does make me feel guilty, because people act like you’re a bad person for reading/writing this stuff, but as long as you’re treating the material with respect and tagging the piece within an inch of its life, it shouldn’t have to be a guilt-inducing situation.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Mmmmm. In theory, I’d love it if someone could go into my brain and take the words out and stuff— the idea of someone else taking my outline and/or finishing one of my WIPs makes my control freak brain start hissing and spitting. But, in a perfect world where I was less me, I’d want someone to finish the final scenes and editing for Color and Light. I fucking love that fic. I want it to be done so badly.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

MY NICOLO ❤️ sorry nicky, it’s just so I can make it better 😬

S: (Another) trope I can’t resist!

*chanting* SECRET RELATIONSHIP 🙌 SECRET RELATIONSHIP 🙌 SECRET RELATIONSHIP🙌🙌🙌

Thanks for playing this fun little game ❤️ You’re making tonight feel a lot less terrible. I appreciate you!

[mprosperossprite]

I just finished my first novel length fanfic!! How did that happen? I'm still a little bit in awe of myself and very very proud. I've been thinking about how I got to this point and I want to share what I learned while writing it, because writing can be a solitary, independent activity, but it doesn't have to be. So, in case this is useful to any other fic writers out there...

Three Things I Learned While Writing My First Novel Length Fanfic:

1. “Write for yourself” is bullshit advice in an ecosystem driven by sharing

I started writing my novel-length fic, Bring the World Back Into Tune, in November 2020. Four or five chapters into posting it, I almost abandoned the project all together. Why? Because I felt “nobody” was reading it. The Old Guard fandom is dominated by Joe/Nicky content. There are so many reasons to love Joe and Nicky and their relationship, but compared to my Joe/Nicky fic, Bring the World Back Into Tune (btwbit, hereafter) was getting a miniscule number of hits and comments and kudos. And I thought it was a better crafted story than anything else I’d shared at that point! I wanted to tell this story, but I also wanted to share this story, and those are related but distinct.

Fandom is an ecosystem built on sharing. These days, Archive of Our Own has given fandoms a safe place to host creations. Tumblr is a platform designed to promote engagement by sharing and re-sharing content. Discord is a platform designed for discussion. I am not a fandom old, so I can’t speak to this personally, but the folks who were creating and mailing physical zines? That was also an ecosystem of sharing, the internet has just expedites the time frame. Fandom is about sharing, not about creating.

I didn’t quit writing btwbit because there were people who told me they were enjoying reading it, because I had a handful of people who were commenting on each chapter. I realized that “write for yourself” was bullshit because I was already writing for an audience. Maybe it wasn’t the audience that I’d dreamed of, or as big an audience as I’d hoped, but I realized that internet fandom had given me an audience and so I started writing for them. Each chapter was a gift to the folks who were reading the story. Framing why I was working on this huge, sprawling fic in this way helped keep me motivated to finish it.

I also realized that audience and community are related. The more people I got to know by being present in fandom spaces -- in AO3 comments, in tumblr group chats, in discord servers -- the more people I got invested in the fic because they liked me, not necessarily the ship or the premise. Part of finding my audience ended up being building it, and that too contributed to my enjoyment of writing the story.

2. Beta readers are the best thing you can do for a fic

I think I may have said this in every single author’s note, but btwbit would be a very different and much worse fic if it weren’t for marbletopempire’s beta work.

I didn’t start out with a beta because I’ve a degree in English literature, damnnit, and I’ve got confidence in my ability to craft a story. I am also a damn good beta reader myself and I know that beta reading is a relationship built upon trust. When I started writing btwbit, there wasn’t anyone I trusted with it.

Marble became my beta because I began beta-ing for her. And I began betaing for marble because I was commenting on every chapter of her fic. I found her because I was engaging with the fandom. I was willing to let her into the writing process for btwbit because I had gotten to know her as a writer and a friend.

There were a couple of pivotal moments when marble gave me notes that came down to “would your characters really do that?” and every single time the answer was “no, they wouldn’t.” Sometimes this made the story longer. Sometimes this was a reminder that btwbit was not every Book of Nile story, it was my Book of Nile story, and, ultimately, a romance.

Also, find people to help you get the details right. Sometimes research is enough, but sometimes a conversation with a person who has experiences different than your own that might help you bring realism and nuance to your characters is transformative. @nevermindirah helped me out a couple of times and their insights helped shape and define a couple of pivotal moments of the fic (and I learned stuff that didn’t make it directly into the fic, too).

3. The hardest things to write are often the most rewarding

Mostly I’m talking about writing smut.

But, yeah, sometimes writing is hard, but with a community and audience by your side, it is very very worth it.

[elysianslove]

Hello! I know this may not be your thing but I decided to give it a shot, if not no biggy!

I was wondering if you would be interested in writing Gojo and/or Sakuna with an asexual lover? (One that doesnt feel sexual attraction but doesnt mind kissing and cuddling etc and loves physical affection but nothing beyond that?) And like, how a relationship with that kind of person would come to be?

Because Sakuna and Gojo both give off *he totally fucks* vibes.

So how they ended up with an asexual lover would be interesting, maybe the MC rejects their advances because fear of being hated for being Ase? Because they know that the other person definitely fucks.

How would their relationship work? How would the guy react/comfort the MC.

(Maybe it ends with a epilogue with no sex(as in penetration and blowjobs to be exact but mc later in a relationship would be willing to do things like handjobs and other hands on/Using toys to pleasure their partner because they cant in that way) but lots of passionate makeout sessions/kissing/sucking and worshiping the mc's body? Especially the collar bone)

If you arent into it that's cool! I totally get it!

This is pretty self indulgent after all ahahaha it's hard being an asexual in fandoms lmao.

hi my love!! okay to start off, i’m really honored you sent in this request to me. idk just the fact that you’re trusting me with it is really sweet hehe. i’m fairly knowledgable about sexuality but i don’t like to write about things i’m not 100% sure about because i don’t wanna risk doing anything wrong or accidentally offending you! but!! thank you for going into detail with the request, and i hope this is what you were looking for, and that i didn’t do any mistakes <3

i wrote headcanons so i can go into detail and write for both!! 

some nsfw under the cut, my loves! <3

ryomen sukuna 

i’d say, to begin with, it would take a small while for sukuna to even be accepting of his own feelings towards you. nothing having to do with your sexuality, just you in general, specifically that you’re human and so different from him. i don’t think sex ever crosses his mind, at least at the start, because he’s too busy being really angry over the way he can’t seem to control his reactions to every little thing you do. so he himself won’t actively work at starting a relationship with you.

but he will realize, over time, that you’re not doing anything either, even though he’s been noticing that you’re not pushing him or his advances away. like any act of protectiveness that involves him physically touching you intimately, you don’t reject, and you’re always ready to retort at any quip he had. he could tell that these feelings he had for you were mutual, he was just so confused as to why you weren’t doing anything about it.

sukuna’s a thousand year old cursed spirit. he does not know shit about sexuality. i think the way he’d look at it is fuck who you want and fuck who you like. i feel like nicki minaj’s said that before, has she? he doesn’t like thinking too much about it, you know? 

his confession would probably be a kiss because words? he doesn’t know them. when he feels you return the kiss he’s, deep down, elated, really, and this is simply because of his naturally sexual personality, he starts hinting at more, until you stop him. he’s really confused because you just kissed him back? you’ve been kissing him for so long why do you want to stop now? he can see the fear steadily growing in your eyes and he’s even more confused now he’s just. humans are so weird. 

when you cautiously tell him, “i don’t want to go further than this. is that okay?” you look like you’re waiting for the world to erupt in your face. he just frowns and shrugs like, “yeah but that’s not the point. do you not want me?” 

it takes about an hour and a half for sukuna to properly process what you’re saying. at first he’s so thrown off by it, not by you! he just can’t process the fact that someone doesn’t feel any sexual attraction towards someone or doesn’t crave sex at all. it’s not that he’s rude about it, it’s just a really foreign concept to him, you know? when you add that it’s just sex, and you’re okay with a lot of other things, the gears in his brain finally start working again and he just goes. 

*shrugs* ok. 

literally lmao. like i said earlier, sukuna doesn’t give a shit like whatever do what you want. 

because of the rush of emotions he’s feeling towards you, and the fact that this in itself, a relationship, and a relationship with a human too, he doesn’t really focus on the fact that he might want more from you. he’s easily satisfied with a lengthy make out session, and he admits it to you every time he sees you get a little anxious or unsure of yourself. 

however, his needs do grow with your relationship. it’s kind of clumsy, your transition into a proper long term relationship, especially with sukuna, but you two make it work. 

you agree to try different ways to pleasure him, even if he kinda rushes through them because he’s generally just excited to have your hands on him. at first he’s content with anything you’re offering, but it makes him feel kinda useless when you won’t let him touch you and you have to remind him that your needs are different than his and that you’re sated differently.

i see sukuna as a curious and experimental guy, so he would definitely let you use toys on him. nothing too extreme, because he still needs that sense of control, but you do use some toys like a fleshlight or a vibrator to rile him up. he likes using your hand too, because it’s always so soft against him and it feels a hundred times better than any toy. he learns not to overstep any boundaries though, and not to do anything that might make you uncomfortable even if it takes him a little longer. like i said, the whole idea is just different to him, so it takes him a while to understand, and he’s still learning as he goes!

he loves your make out sessions, especially after you establish your boundaries and your limits and what you’re willing to do for him. he absolutely adores leaving your skin a sky of blue, pink and purple it sends chills down his spine marking you like that. he’s always touching you all over, and just loves to grab and knead at your skin. 

in the proper long term, he doesn’t mind it at all tbh. the two of you develop a system, and he’s okay with it. the same way you would never cross his boundaries and force him to do anything he doesn’t want, he’d do for you too! it really never truly mattered, and it truly never will.

gojō satoru

different from sukuna, i think gojō would definitely be knowledgable about things like this. idk he just seems like the kind of guy that’s innately so aware of everything around him, and can read people exceptionally well.

he probably picked up on the fact that you weren’t comfortable with sex, or just didn’t experince sexual attraction, on his own, but never really brought it up because it was never his place. but the same way he picks up on that, he picks up on your obvious crush on him. he pays both details no specific attention until he starts to realize his own feelings for you, and begins on his subtle advances.

he tried to make his advances as sfw as possible, you know? just in case his suspicions were confirmed to be true. he was just extra flirty, sometimes touchy but never in an inappropriate way. very subtilely like always having your shoulders or knees touching or dusting of your jacket or feeding you a piece of his food. cute little things like that.

he gets super worried when he notices you start to distance yourself from him, because he can’t imagine what he might’ve did to push you away. he overthinks a little, worried that he overstepped his boundaries or made you uncomfortable in any way, but he isn’t afraid to approach you about it, to make sure he doesn’t repeat his mistakes, especially with someone like you, who he’s slowly growing more and more infatuated by. 

when you admit to him you’re asexual, he realizes he was right, but then he’s like, “and? did i do something?” and now it’s your turn to be confused because here you were worried about rejection but here he was worried about you? 

this specific incident is what makes you let loose and finally just freely admit your feelings for him. he’s ecstatic about it, seriously! all that’s on his mind is that he gets to go on a date with someone he really likes. sex is the last thing on his mind, and yeah, you’ll eventually have to talk about it, but not for now. it’s for later, when things get a little more serious. 

they do get serious, to both your delights, but the dreaded moment is approaching you. gojō definitely sits you down and says, “we’re only having this talk so i know never to do anything outside of your limits. everything about this relationship is 50/50, and i want to know ways to make you feel good, too.” 

please sir your hand in marriage.

i definitely believe gojō’s a kinky guy, and is more than willing to try out literally any sex toy you pull at him. genuinely, he’ll try anything you wanna try. if you ever offer a handjob, he’ll ask a million times over if you’re sure. usually, he likes to just do it himself, but have you there next to him. he won’t touch you, but your hands will be in his hair, and you’ll be kissing his neck, or just murmuring how much you love him in his ear, just spurring him on. he knows the last thing on your mind is anything sexual, but there’s just something about being under your watchful, almost bored gaze as he fucks himself.

anyways before i get too into it lmfao, he loves kissing you. loves loves loves it. not even full blown make out sessions, just gentle, serene kissing. he can kiss you for hours. 

he is also incredible at body worship and praise. paints your pretty collarbone pink and purple, whispers about how you’re perfect for him, describes all your features to you like poetry. he’s an incredible lover, really. nothing can make him fall out of love with you, absolutely nothing. 

[nothoughtsonlynat]

Human (Natasha Romanoff)

Human: Chapter 1

A/N: Troyes, France is 6 hours ahead of NYC so 7pm there is 1pm in NYC. For the sake of this fic we’re going to pretend that the Battle of New York lasted quite a few hours.

*This is my first ever fic and I wrote it at 3am so bear with me

WARNINGS: swearing; mentions of weapons; violence; panic attack; anxiety; my crappy writing; and I think that’s it (lmk if there’s anything I should add)

Barcelona, Spain; January, 2012:

The repetitive ticking of the clock registered in my brain before my eyes even opened. I didn’t need that clock to know what time it was, of course. It was 4:30 am— the same time I've woken up everyday for the past twenty-five years of my life. I no longer need to wake up this early, yet it’s a habit so deeply engrained in my framework that it’s seemingly unbreakable. I roll out of bed and make my way into the dingy kitchen with light footsteps. With some quick math I figured that I got barely two hours of sleep last night, but that’s more than usual. I started the coffee machine and asked with a sigh, “Would you like some coffee or are you just going to lurk in the corner?”

The leather-clad stranger with an eyepatch stepped up to the kitchen island opposite of me and responded, “I wouldn’t mind a cup. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you knew I was here.”

“Well, you know what they say about old habits. You got a name?”

“You can call me Fury. We have a lot to talk about, Eight.” I slid him a mug of cheap coffee and gestured for him to take a seat. 

“Then we’d better get started so you can get the hell out of my apartment.” He simply chuckled in response and I could already feel my patience wavering.

Two Hours Later:

“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division? Really, dude?”

“Yeah, it’s a mouthful. Trust me I know.”

“I’m sorry that you came all this way for nothing, Fury, but there’s no way in hell I'm working for some government spy circus.”

“It’s technically an extra-governmental spy agency-“

“Doesn’t matter. I’m not joining,” I said, cutting him off.

“So, you’re just gonna hop from one shitty apartment to the next until you die? That doesn’t seem like a great life.”

“Better than the one I lived before.”

“You aren’t the person to live in hiding. You’re the person who thrives in the action and lives to kick ass, and we both know it.” When I didn’t respond he continued, “I’ll leave you my card. When you change your mind, which you will, you’ll know where to find me. You don’t have to be the bad guy anymore, Eight.” With that he slid off the stool and left my apartment, leaving me with nothing but my rapidly spiraling thoughts and a black business card.

Troyes, France; May, 2012:

It had been four months since Director Fury came to my apartment in Barcelona. We’d kept in contact and he hasn’t given up on me joining S.H.I.E.L.D.. I'm living in my third apartment since then. Wow…those landlords must really hate me. I was watching the seven o’clock news when I saw something that made me choke on my Cheerios. “An alien invasion?! What the fu-” My Cheerio-muffled exclamation was interrupted by the ring of my burner phone. “Hello?”

“Eight, you watched the news recently?”

“Uh yeah, I'm watching it now. You fighting aliens now, Nicky?”

“Okay first of all, I told you to stop calling me that. Second, yes… aliens. I’m forming a team of…extraordinary people to help protect against these threats and they could really use a hand to finish off this fight.”

“I may be weird as hell but I ain't ‘extraordinary’, Fury. I don’t wanna join your band of misfits.”

“Alright, how about a compromise? You fly your fancy jet here right now and help them out and if you still don’t wanna join once the battle is over, you can go right back to France and I’ll stop bothering you about joining.” After a few seconds of silence I agreed. 

“Fine, but I’m not gonna change my mind. Wait, how do you know about my jet?”

He gave a hearty laugh and said “I know everything, Eight. You should know that by now.”

New York, New York; 96 Minutes Later: 

I flew my jet into the city, making sure to take out a few flying Chitauri in the process. We don’t need to talk about how I got my hands on a German jet that can fly 2100mph. I saw a few interesting characters standing in a circle fighting off an endless sea of aliens. I maneuvered the jet and— wait…is that guy wearing blue tights? Is this what Fury meant by extraordinary? Whatever. I landed in the street about 20 yards away and killed the engines. I hopped out and started jogging towards the group. A couple of them turned around, probably wondering who the hell the chick in the black uniform is and— whoa that’s a beautiful woman. After realizing my steps had literally faltered in a mini gay panic, I slowed to a walk and said “Y’all need a hand?”

“Depends on whose hand it is,” replied the redheaded source of my panic.

“I’m a friend of Fury’s. He practically begged me to come save your asses.”

“Fury doesn’t beg,” she said in a doubtful tone.

“Not typically, but I'm just that awesome. If you don’t believe me then call him up but I’m gonna go kill some aliens.” With that I took off down another street where there was a group of the repulsive bastards. After unloading all of my magazines into Chitauri bodies, I switched to my swords and daggers. After another hour or so of fighting, there were no more aliens in sight. I started jogging toward the rich dude’s tower when I saw said rich dude falling through the rapidly-closing portal. I stopped next to Mr. Blue Tights and the buff blonde guy with the hammer when the big green dude grabbed Mr. Rich Dude from the sky and landed next to us. The green guy yelled, waking Mr. Rich Dude up with a start. “What the hell? What happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me. Except for her, she’s pretty hot,” he said nodding toward me. Just then the redhead jogged over to us and eyed my blood-soaked form from head to toe. 

“See something you like, Red?”

“No. I’m pretty sure I'd be classified as a sadist if I liked the sight of that much blood,” she said with a raise of her eyebrow.

“Yeah that’s fair.” She shook her head at me with a small smirk. There was barely a second of silence when Mr. Rich Dude spoke up. 

“Anybody want shawarma?”

Three Hours Later:

I had gone to the Triskelion after the band of misfits apprehended Loki. Agent Hill showed me where to park my jet and directed me to a room so I could shower and stay the night if I wanted to. I had put on black jeans, a white tee, and a black jean jacket, all of which had been in a to-go bag in my jet. I was toweling off my hair when someone knocked on the door. I opened the door to see none other than the one-eyed-wonder standing there. “What can I do for you, Nicky?”

“The Avengers are being debriefed in Conference Room 6B in ten minutes. You should come.”

“The Avengers? Is that what you’re calling them? That’s cute. But I'm not an Avenger and I don’t want to be an Avenger, so no thanks.”

“You should come anyway.”

“I don’t actually have a choice, do I?”

“You know me so well, Eight,” he said with an amused grin.

I walked into the conference room and the Avengers were already there. Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor, and Natasha Romanoff—whose names I learned from Hill— were scattered around a large table, along with Fury. Romanoff eyed me from where she was standing and arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me. I squinted my eyes and wiggled my eyebrows in response, and I could see her stifle a laugh. “What’s your name?” She accompanied the question with a blank expression, which made me feel oh-so-special. 

“That’s a very personal question, Miss Romanoff. Let’s slow the pace, please.”

“You know my name but I can’t know yours? That doesn’t seem fair.”

“The world isn’t fair, Miss Romanoff, and I love a good mystery.”

“If you two are done flirting, we have business to attend to,” interjected Fury.

“Right, my apologies, Nicky.”

“Don’t call me that, Eight.”

After an excruciating 43 minutes and 27 seconds, Fury finally let us leave. I was so close to freedom when that unbelievably sexy voice called to me. “Eight!” Romanoff hastily walked towards me in an effort to catch up.

“Yeah?”

“Is your name actually Eight?”

“If you want it to be.”

“Why are you so damn stubborn?”

“It amuses me, Red.” There was a brief silence during which both of us were trying to figure out if the conversation was over. 

I was about to leave when she continued, “So that’s it? You’re just gonna leave?”

“Well, no. I’m going to stay the night, steal some really expensive jet fuel, and then leave in the morning before Fury can get up my ass about joining his little team.”

She rolled her eyes and responded, “Why won’t you join the Avengers? And why won’t you tell me your real name?”

“It’s just not my style. I’d rather fly solo.”

“You ignored my second question.”

“Then maybe you should take the hint and stop asking.” With that I turned around and started walking away, but a hand on my arm stopped me dead in my tracks. Alarms started going off in my head, and I'm pretty sure Romanoff was saying something to me but I was too caught up in the memories of beatings, punishments, and psychological conditioning to register it. After a few of the longest seconds of my life, the white of my vision cleared up and the voice telling me ‘physical contact is strictly forbidden’ faded into the background. My heart was still hammering in my chest and I was trying to keep my breathing steady despite the inevitable panic attack trying to drag me under, I regained my neutral expression and said. “Sorry, did you say something?”

“Are you okay?” She had a concerned expression and if I wasn’t so blinded with anxiety, I would’ve appreciated how cute the furrow of her eyebrows was.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just gonna turn in. It’s been a long day.” I turned around and walked back to my temporary room at a brutal pace. As soon as the door closed behind me, hot tears raced down my cheeks and I lost the ability to breathe. It was gonna be a long night.

3:21 am:

I finally managed to calm myself down and stop the panic attack after almost four hours. Well, I passed out because I couldn’t breathe but it did calm me down. Trying to sleep would be pointless, so I decided to leave before anyone woke up. I didn’t really have much to pack so I grabbed my duffel bag and left the room. I made it to the corridor attached to the landing pads and ran into the one person I really didn’t want to see. “What are you doing out and about, Red?”

“I’ve got places to be and things to do. Were you just going to sneak out in the middle of the night like a teenager with a rebellious streak?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing, actually. Do you need a ride? Where are you going?”

“Madrid. Fury said I could hitch a ride on another plane that’s headed for Germany.”

“Well I’m going to France if you wanna ride with me. My jet will get you there a lot faster.” She studied me for what felt like way too long, probably debating if I would try to kill her or not. You know how spies are with their trust issues.

“What the hell, why not?”

And that is how I ended up in a jet with “Candy Shop” playing over the speakers and Natasha Romanoff in the copilot seat yelling at me to, and I quote, ‘slow the fuck down.’ “Why would I slow down, you psycho?! That’s the whole damn point of this thing!”

“Where did you even get a German jet this fast?”

“Germany.”

“No shit Sherlock. How did you get it?”

“I went to Germany, stopped in at the local speedy-jet dealership, and walked out with this beauty.”

“Sarcasm is a defense mechanism, you know? You’re only being like this to keep me from seeing the real you. You built walls. You want everyone to think you’re fine when in reality, you’re falling apart.”

“Okay…um…there was no need for that, Dr. Romanoff. I can find my own therapist, thank you very much. And don’t go pretending you’re all healthy in the head, Miss Assassin.” It was quiet for all of five seconds before we both burst into laughter.

Madrid, Spain:

I landed the jet at the local S.H.I.E.L.D. base and killed the engines. Romanoff and I removed our headsets and I stood to help her get her bags. “Welp, I’ll see you around I guess.” I really wasn’t good at this type of thing. Or any social interactions, really. Twenty-four years in a cell will do that to you.

“Will I? See you around, I mean?”

“Um, I don’t really know, honestly. I’m not part of S.H.I.E.L.D. so we won’t just run into each other or anything but…”

“Why won’t you join S.H.I.E.L.D.? I mean what else are you doing?”

“Ohhh, I see. You just love me so much that you don’t want me to leave. You’re gonna miss me so much-” I was cut off when she threw her backpack at my head. “Hey! You’re lucky I caught that! Freaking crazy woman.”

When our laughter died down she said, “Well I should probably go. Thank you for the ride.”

“Of course. Hitchhikers are always welcome aboard my beloved jet.” A small smile appeared on her face and she stepped forward to give me a hug but she must’ve seen my body go rigid because she stepped back. She might’ve said something but the voice in my head was too loud for me to understand her. I don’t know how long it was before I unfroze but when I did, she was gone. I walked to the front of the jet and started the journey to France.

[monicashipsnickyjoe]

(part 4 of my advertising agency office au. check out part 1/2/3)

At the end of the day, Nicky tries to think of ways to more properly thank Joe for saving his bank account and, probably, his job. A handshake, perhaps? No, that’s not enough, and after the jacket incident, it would feel too formal. Perhaps an email? A curt nod?

Ug! He buries his fingers in his hair. Why is he so bad at this?

On a poster on the wall of his cubicle, the kitten clings to that tree branch. Hang in there! If the kitten can do it, then surely he can -

A card! Decided, he turns back to his computer. He could try to make one by hand, but he lacks any artistic talent. The best he can do is adjust the word processor to print out a few clip-art designs in a way he can fold into a card. Nicky has to buy his own ink for the printer beneath his desk, but he doesn’t mind using it for this. He only wishes he splurged and bought color ink instead of only black.

After carefully folding the thin computer paper into a slightly lopsided, card-like shape, he fills in the boxy THANK YOU on the front with pink, yellow, and blue highlighters. Inside, beneath a smiley face, he writes his name: Nicolò.

Around him, his co-workers begin to leave. The clock on his monitor tells him it’s already ten after 5. Nicky grabs his card and his jacket and leaves his cubicle. Like wading upstream, he dodges his exiting co-workers, all headed the opposite way, as he makes his way past the water cooler and toward the offices.

He glares at the copier as he steps around it, and knocks his knuckles on the door frame to Joe’s office.

Joe’s three monitors are on, two paused on different sections of what appears to be a commercial-in-progress. The third shows his email inbox. Joe is looking at none of them. Instead, he’s swiveled in his desk chair to the barren section of his L-shaped desk. He sketches something in a notebook. Under his desk, he’s kicked off his shoes.

At Nicky’s knock, he looks up, and those heavy bags under his eyes have only darkened since this morning, he visibly brightens when Nicky steps into the room.

“Have you been home since yesterday?” Nicky asks.

Joe glances to the side, like he’s thinking of a lie, but he quickly sighs and says, “I went home for a shower about 4 this morning.”

“Have you eaten?”

Joe waves to the take-out containers Nicky now sees wedged behind his monitors. There’s several days worth.

“You should go home,” Nicky says. “You’ll get sick like this.”

Joe shrugs. “It’s only until tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” That doesn’t make sense. Nicky has seen the forecasted earnings for the next month, coupled with the designer-client meeting schedules. He knows Joe’s meeting with the Pharmaceutical company isn’t until next week. And even if Merrick convinced Joe to move it forward, tomorrow is impossibly soon.

“Honestly, I thought I’d get far enough ahead last night to give me a break tonight but... things change.” He smiles up at Nicky, but it doesn’t hold.

Things change. What could have changed from yesterday to today?

Oh.

Oh, no.

“Joe,” Nicky storms further into the room, coming right up to the edge of Joe’s desk. “Tell me you didn’t move up the schedule because of me.”

“It’s not your fault,” Joe says, but his eyes are soft and sad. He’s lying.

“Joe.” Nicky clutches his pathetic card in both hands. It’s not enough. Not near enough.

“What Merrick wanted to do to you was wrong. If I could fix it by putting in another all-nighter, what does it matter?” He holds Nicky’s gaze, and that at least, is earnest. Which only makes Nicky feel worse.

“But, Joe -”

“I did what I had to do, Nicky, and I’d do it again.”

“But you didn’t have to.”

Joe laughs a little, under his breath. “I will always stay true to my heart.”

Nicky’s not sure what he means, so he doesn’t know how to argue. He looks down at his card. At the very least, he could have more carefully colored the letters inside the lines. Yet somehow, he knows Joe will still love it.

It’s not enough.

“What are you having to eat tonight?” Nicky asks.

Frowning, Joe waves to take-out containers again.

Nicky’s stomach flips. “No,” he says, before he even realizes he’s spoken. When Joe blinks at him, Nicky trudges onward. “Do not eat that. I will bring you dinner.”

Joe leans back in his chair. Those dark bags are barely visible now, with how bright his eyes are, like he just woke up to Christmas morning.

“Wait for me,” Nicky says, and all but throws his silly card at Joe.

Joe catches it with both hands. Nicky turns and leaves before he can see him read it.

*

Nicky, fortunately, has stew cooking in a crock pot since before work. He woke up early, restless from having heard Joe call his name in his sleep. To distract himself, he sliced carrots and potatoes and beef. He paced the length of his small kitchen, worrying over spices, trying not to think of Joe.

So, after rushing back to his apartment, he doesn’t have to worry about making anything new. He cooked enough for several days of leftovers, but he packs it all up now into five different containers, and puts them into an insulated thermal bag. He also throws in some napkins, two forks and a spoon, not knowing Joe’s preference. He grabs some waters from the fridge, a bag of fresh rolls from his pantry, and hurries out the door.

Back at the office, Joe has tacked Nicky’s ridiculous card onto the wall. He’s smiling at it when Nicky steps through the doorway.

“You’re back.” Joe turns that smile on Nicky, and Nicky trips a little on the carpet.

“I hope you like stew,” Nicky says, dropping his gaze to his feet so he can make it safety across the room.

“I love it.”

“Good. I brought you enough for several days.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Joe says.

Nicky opens the thermal bag. He pulls out one container and places it before Joe. He sets a second one beside it, for himself. He removes the napkins and the silverware, and sets the rest aside.

“Take my chair,” Joe tells him, standing. He slides it over before Nicky can refuse, then goes to retrieve a metal fold-out from against the wall.

“Joe -”

“Just sit, Nicky. You went to all this trouble.” Joe arranges the fold-out and sits. “I’ll be in that chair all night. It’s good to spice things up.”

Nicky could hardly see how sitting in a metal chair would ‘spice things up’ but he decides not to argue.

They remove the lids and dig into the food. At the first bite, Nicky’s pleased the stew is still hot. All thoughts fizzle, however, at the sound of Joe moaning delightedly.

Joe’s eyes flutter closed. After he swallows, he laughs. “Nicky, you have spoiled me. This is delicious! You must tell me which restaurant you bought this from. I will never eat anywhere else.”

Nicky’s face burns so hot, he might catch fire. “I made it.”

Joe’s gaze snaps to him. “You...?“ Surprise makes way to something else, something warmer, and for a moment, Nicky suspects Joe might hug him. Or maybe he just wants him to.

“Nicky,” Joe says. “I am convinced you are an angel.”

Nicky shakes his head. “If I was an angel, I wouldn’t have broken the copier.”

Joe grunts, like he doesn’t agree, but rather than argue, he returns to the stew.

They eat for a time, before Nicky wonders aloud.

“You surprised me, the other day,” Nicky says. “When you knew my name.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Joe lowers his spoon. “You were introduced on your first day.”

Nicky remembers Merrick waving toward him unceremoniously as he stood by the water cooler on his first day. People stood in their cubicles and sat down immediately after. He hadn’t noticed anyone step out of the offices.

“That was a year ago,” Nicky says.

“I would never forget you.” Joe scoops fresh stew onto his spoon and brings it to his mouth.

“But you never...” Nicky has no idea how to handle this new information. “We never...” He motions his fork between the two of them.

Joe lowers his chin, sheepish. “I thought of how to approach you a thousand times. But you are so...”

Oh. Nicky frowns. “Quiet.”

“No!” Joe leans forward. “Beautiful! That’s what I was going to say.”

Nicky blinks, too stunned to speak.

“I wanted to impress you, but I didn’t know how. I even tried to learn Italian, though work has been so... it’s been difficult to find time to do anything else.” Shaking his head, he sits back in the chair again. He lifts his spoon. “I’ve only learned a few words so far, but I will learn more. I’m determined.” Joe speaks with such confidence, Nicky believes him.

“Joe.” Nicky tries to find his voice. It feels important, to reply.

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“No,” Nicky says. “The opposite.”

“Oh?”

Nicky swallows his nerves, takes a breath. “Joe, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met.”

Joe’s cheeks tint red. His eyes sparkle, or maybe it’s the overhead light reflecting just right. What does it matter, with how lovely he looks when his lips part and he whispers, “Nicolò.“

If Nicky stays, he will kiss him, and if he kisses him, he will not stop. “I should leave you to your work.” Before hurt can settle on Joe’s face, Nicky reaches out and places his hand on Joe’s arm near the wrist. His thumb circles the fragile bones there. “The sooner you are finished, the sooner you can leave.”

Joe’s smile returns, a touch more devilish than before. “And then?”

Joe’s skin is warm under Nicky’s hand. All Nicky would have to do is lean a little closer and he could... They could...

He starts to. So does Joe.

But then Nicky snaps back, remembering, and makes himself pull away. He stands and moves around the chair, placing it between them. Yet even with the distance, the air sparks between them.

Nicky gives Joe a look. “And then.”

Whatever Joe sees in his face has Joe popping out of his chair. “Nicky, stay.”

“You’ll never finish your work.”

“To hell with it.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do, and I...” He stops himself and sighs. “No. When my lips touch yours for the first time, it will not be in this place.”

The thrill of a kiss rushes up Nicky’s spine, and he shivers. “When this is done...” He sucks in a breath, steadying himself. “When this is done, we will meet, and then...”

Joe licks his lips. “And then.”