#‘you don’t want to be changed like it changed me’ is like. 75% of their dynamic! screams!

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Dan Pfeiffer at The Message Box:

Poring through the aftermath of a brutal defeat, Democrats are now in their worst position in at least 20 years. Republicans have the White House and the Senate and an excellent chance to capture the House. Trump is only the second Republican since 1988 to win the popular vote, and he made huge gains across the country, building a multi-racial working-class coalition.

For many of you, I imagine this is painful to read. Trust me. It is even more painful to write. Most of my career has been spent within the machinery of the Democratic Party. I worked in the White House and Senate leadership. I worked for Democratic governors and other party organizations. It pains me to see the party in this state of disfavor only eight years after Barack Obama left the White House. The coalition that Obama built has crumbled. There are millions of reasons why we are in this position — COVID, inflation, an unpopular President, several political miscalculations, and a failure to adapt to a changed media environment. Ultimately, I am less interested in how we got into this mess than in how we get out of it.

The press continues to second-guess and Monday-morning quarterback various tactical decisions of the Harris campaign. I am also not particularly interested in that debate. Two things can be true at the same time. Kamala Harris ran a great campaign in a brutal political environment under an impossible timeline, and Democrats just got their ass kicked by a failed President and convicted criminal who could have been sentenced to jail if he lost the election. Where Democrats go from here is a conversation that will be an ongoing part of this newsletter in the months to come. There is no singular or simple answer, and many strawman arguments are being offered up on Twitter and cable. The solution is more complex than being more left or centrist or less woke. I don’t have the answers. Like the rest of you, I am still processing what happened on Tuesday. As part of my personal therapy, I wanted to do a bit of brain dump on the road ahead for Democrats as we confront another four years of Trump.

1. Recognize the Scale of the Problem

On one level, Trump’s win isn’t that big. His popular vote margin will end up being lower than Hillary Clinton’s when she lost the Presidency. This was far from a landslide. It looks nothing like Reagan’s victories in 1980 and 1984 or Obama’s win in 2008. But we shouldn’t sugarcoat the size and scope of Trump’s victory. Trump improved on his 2020 performance nearly everywhere in the country and with every type of voter. There was a six-point shift to the right in the country from 2020. Trump did 10 points better in Democratic strongholds like New York, New Jersey, and Rhode Island. He gained ground with men, women, Latinos, Black voters, and voters under 30. If the GOP can maintain that coalition post-Trump, Democrats will have no shot at the White House or the Senate for the foreseeable future. We are in a deep hole, and because of that, it is essential that we contemplate radical solutions about how we communicate, campaign, and govern. Every option should be on the table and every prior should be questioned. Yes, it was a brutal political environment, but this failure was a long time in the making.

2. Understand Why We Keep Losing on the Economy

Post-COVID inflation is the biggest factor in this election. It’s why incumbent parties all over the world have been getting slaughtered in election after election. It’s almost impossible to win an election when, according to the exit polls, 68% of voters rate the economy negatively, 75% say inflation caused them harm, and only 24% of voters say their financial situation is better off than four years ago. But if Democrats just blame inflation for voter distrust on the economy, we will be whistling past the graveyard. Democrats have lost economically-focused voters in every election since 2012. Even in the 2018 and 2022 midterms, which saw huge Democratic gains, we lost the voters who said the economy was their top issue by an average of 36 points!

President Biden passed a bunch of very consequential and popular policies. Yet, his ratings on the economy worsened over time. While I think we should revisit our policy agenda to look for new, bolder ideas that better speak to people’s concerns, this is largely not a policy problem. It’s a brand problem. When you do a blind taste test, our policies are more popular. This is why ballot initiatives like raising the minimum wage and allowing collective bargaining often pass in very Red states where Democrats have no chance of winning elected office. On economic issues, Democrats have a cultural problem; regardless of our policies, voters in the toughest economic situations simply don’t think Democrats care about them, and they haven’t since Barack Obama left office. Republicans have done an excellent job — with some inadvertent help from Democrats — branding our party as the party of elites even though the GOP standard bearer is a wannabe billionaire who offers tax cuts to other billionaires in exchange for campaign contributions. There is little question that we would benefit from more full-throated populism.

3. Close the Communications Chasm

Democrats are losing the information war. Trump and the Republicans are relentlessly communicating their narrative to a wide swath of the electorate, while Democrats are mostly still playing by an old set of rules. The Right is dominating the information space. In the battleground states where Democrats could spend more than a billion dollars communicating to voters on TV and digital platforms, Trump gained three points over his 2020 performance. In the rest of the country, which saw no paid Democratic messaging, Trump gained six points. This means that Democrats got absolutely battered in earned and social media. An average American who just turned on their TV or unlocked their phone or tablet was getting much more pro-Trump and anti-Democratic messaging. This situation is not unique to the Harris campaign. It’s been a problem for Democrats for more than a decade. Democrats cannot reach the wide swath of voters who don’t actively consume political news. According to polling from Data for Progress, here’s the statistics showing how people voted based on the amount they paid attention to political news:

a great deal: Harris +8

a lot: Harris +5

a moderate amount: Trump +1

a little: Trump +8 -

none at all: Trump +15

If you read the New York Times or watch CNN, Democrats know how to reach you. The problem is that we already have those voters. It's very clear that most of Democratic communications is a circular conversation with the people who already agree with us on everything. The rest of the electorate can’t hear us. They are getting no countervailing information to counter the Right Wing caricature of Democrats. Because of Fox News and other Right Wing outlets, Republicans have long had an asymmetric media advantage. However, in recent years, Right Wing messaging has come to dominate non-political online spaces centered on topics like comedy, gaming, gambling, and wellness.

Most Democrats continued running the same communications playbook for the entire Trump era despite massive changes in the media ecosystem. We haven’t incubated our progressive political media enough nor have we been willing to go into the non-political spaces where the most critical segment of voters are getting their info.

Dan Pfeiffer has yet another home run column on how the Democrats can roar back from their shock 2024 losses.

[unequivocallyreid]

Why Didn’t You Tell Me?

it has been SO long... i was suffering from serious writers block but it think i'm finally out of it :)

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: Spencer Reid used to be your best friend, but things changed. How long can you pretend that you don't love him before it ruins you?

warnings: angst! (with a happy ending), smut (unprotected piv), character loss, mention of Maeve, very sad Spencer, mental health struggles, drinking/bar scene, light choking, fighting, slight praise kink

wc: 8.8k 🤗

i’m very proud of this one! i hope you love it!

Every morning when you wake up, you feel a familiar and creeping sort of dread in the pit of your stomach.

Don’t get the wrong idea; you love your job. You love helping people and stopping horrible people from ruining any more lives, but the creeping feeling and desire to get out is always in the corner of your mind. Anyone working in this field would tell you that. There’s no absolute separation between you and the victims and their families. You take all of them home with you, and you just have to learn how to deal with that and not let it eat at you.

It doesn’t help that it’s an isolating job as well. The last time you were in a serious relationship was in college. Now, every date you have ends in disappointment. Not only do you lack interest in most of the men and women, but it couldn’t go anywhere even if you did. 75% of your time is spent in the office, on a jet, or hundreds of miles away from your home.

All of this contributes to the feeling, but the worst part of your job is Dr. Spencer Reid.

He’s secretive and dismissive and just about the most attractive person you’d ever seen. You honestly don’t know what is worse: his constant physical presence in your life or the fact that you can’t stop thinking about him no matter what you do. You’ve tried to get over it; you’ve buried yourself in work, lamented to your friends, and gone out on dates (all with guys that looked vaguely similar), but nothing has worked. All his worst traits grate your nerves and light you up at the same time.

The worst part of it all is that it wasn’t always like this. When you first joined the BAU nearly two years ago, you and Spencer got along well. You were friends, he talked to you about his life, he understood you, and you really severely fell for him. He became your best friend.

Everything changed around six months ago. Spencer started to develop migraines, and as those developed, he started distancing himself from you. He became snippy and closed off, he started hiding things from you, and he stopped talking to you about life outside of Quantico. It was like overnight, you became nothing to him, and you really didn’t understand. Everyone else on the team got the same old Spencer, but you went from his right-hand man to someone he only spoke to when it was necessary.

Maybe he didn’t deserve to be vilified. You know, realistically, he can and should be able to decide who he wants to be close to, but working with a man who unknowingly broke your heart was close to the hardest thing you’d ever done. So, you decided hating him was easier. The real emotions you feel toward him sit somewhere inside you, but they have been covered by manufactured distaste. Addressing the actual feeling would hurt too bad, so you pretend to hate the things you used to love.

Nothing, however, could have prepared you for the last case you worked on: helping Spencer save a girl he met about six months ago, a girl he loved. You tried to stay collected, you said nothing when Spencer assisted when he shouldn’t have, and goddamn, did you do everything in your power to find that girl. Maeve. She was perfect for Spencer, and you saw that immediately. Everyone did. The sight of him sobbing in front of her body is one that will never leave your mind.

Now, two weeks later, no one has heard from Reid. The only indication that he hasn’t abandoned his life altogether is the absence of the gift baskets on his doorstep that Pen leaves daily.

Nearly everyone has been to his apartment, but they are met with a closed door and have yet to receive a response. Everyone but you.

Penelope is the first to bring up your lack of appearance at the end of a long day of paperwork.

“Y/n, please, you just have to try. No one is getting anything from him.”

“I really don’t think my presence would do any good,” you pause for a moment, trying to collect the thoughts running through your head like a freight train. “Me and him haven’t been close in a long time, Pen.”

Before you can continue, she cuts in, “Everyone has tried, Y/n. Hell, I’ve even considered tracking down Gideon, and I really, really do not want to do that.”

She pauses for a moment before looking up at you with a pout on her face, “Please, Y/n, for me. I can’t bear the thought of him in there all alone, just wasting away in grief.”

For someone who claims not to be a profiler, Penelope knew exactly what to say to get you to agree. She’s the only person in your life who you told about how you felt, though you’re sure everyone else (aside from Spencer) knew: you’re shit at keeping secrets.

“Okay, okay, I’ll try.”

She nearly bursts with excitement, “Thank God-“

You cut her off before she can finish, “But I’m telling you, I’m not the person he wants to hear from right now. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Yes, yes. I just want him to know we all want him to be okay.”

Before you can hurry out of the office to follow Pen’s instructions, she stops you and hands you a basket full of assorted snacks and fruits.

“Make sure he eats!”

The walk up to Spencer’s apartment is a hard one to take. The smell of his building hits you as soon as you step into the lobby. From there, everything rushes back at once. Memories of nights you spent watching reruns of Doctor Who or listening to him prattle off about whatever he last read assault you with every step. As you slowly make your way up, you start to question why you agreed to do this in the first place.

You feel a lot toward Reid. More than you should and less than you could. But all that care and feelings that are so close to love aren’t enough to make you forget why you’ve been trying to hate him for so long. He deserted you without an explanation and cut you off without a warning. You spent weeks (three months) crying over him like a love-struck teen. So, as much as you want to hold him and comfort him, you know it’ll hurt you to do so. Penelope sent you, with the whole team’s approval, you’re sure, to try to patch up a broken heart he got loving someone else. There’s a sickness in your gut, but it’s not enough to stop you from rapping your knuckles against his door.

“Spencer? It’s Y/n.”

There’s no response.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear from me right now, but I want to make sure you’re alright. Can you tell me you’re alright?”

Again, nothing.

You know he’s there. Despite your lack of communication, you know Spencer well enough to know that he would never leave his life behind entirely. That being said, your next few attempts at garnering a response are unsuccessful.

You decide to try one final time before just leaving the basket alone on his doorstep and texting Pen it was a bust.

“There’s a lot I don’t know about you now, and I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling.”

You don’t exactly know where this is headed, but you continue on regardless.

“I know you’re in there, and I know you can hear me, and I know you’re hurting. You shouldn’t- I don’t want you to be alone right now, Spence. You can either unlock your door, or I can pick it, but I’m coming in one way or the other. You know I will.”

You wouldn’t, actually. It’s a last-ditch effort, and it’s met with the same silence you’ve heard on the other side for the past ten minutes. You’re about to turn to head back down the stairs when you hear the very faint sound of a deadbolt turning.

There’s no other sound or movement, and for a moment, you think you might’ve imagined the sound, but you try the handle anyway. It turns, and the door slides open. You take a step in.

“Spencer,” you call out to him.

You don’t see him at first in the mess of his apartment, but when you do, you feel a crack form in your heart.

Beyond the clutter of his entryway, you see his back on the couch. His frame looks smaller than you’ve ever seen it, and you can see his legs curled into his chest. You set down the gift basket by a collection of others on the entry table and walk over to him. Slowly, like you’re trying not to spook a lost dog, you creep in front of him.

His head is down, and his gaze stays trained on his knees.

You reach out your hand and lay it over his. He flinches but doesn’t pull away.

“Spence, I’m so glad you opened the door.”

You didn’t plan out what you would say, but ‘sorry’ feels redundant and useless.

You go on, “I’m here. I- I don’t know what to do or say, and I’m sorry that I don’t. I can get someone else for you. Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”

You wait for him to say he wants Penelope or JJ, but it doesn’t come. Nothing comes. You start to move to get up, figuring you could clean up a bit and try to make him something to eat, then go, but he grasps your arm before you can.

He looks up at you, and his eyes hit you right in the gut. They’re bloodshot and sunken but still beautiful.

“Stay. Please. I just- I need to know I’m not dreaming. I keep thinking I’m dreaming.”

His voice is croaky from disuse and breaks at the end, but it’s so heartbreakingly earnest that you feel your breath catch. You move from your crouch and sit beside him on the couch; your hand is still in his.

You stay like that for a long time. His breathing is shakey and uneven, and every so often, his body shakes with what you can only assume are sobs. You stay pressed to his side the whole time, thumb rubbing back and forth over his hand.

Eventually, you speak again, “I’m gonna get you some food, Spence. You should eat.”

He says nothing back, but he does loosen his grip. You push yourself up from the coach with a promise you’ll be as fast as possible.

His kitchen is nearly empty, and you hope he’s been eating from the baskets. Still, you find enough to make noodles and butter, and you figure the carbs should help his energy some.

You return with the bowl. Spencer hasn’t moved, but his head follows you as you walk back over to him.

“It’s not fine dining.”

He studied you for a second, and you catch a glimpse of the old him in his eye.

“You did the same thing when I was sick on a case a year ago.”

You smile at his recollection.

“It helped you then.”

The rest of the night is spent mostly in silence. Occasionally, you tell him something to try to remind him that you’re there and that you won’t leave as long as he wants you there. Eventually, you get up from the couch again.

“Spencer, it’s too late to still be awake.”

He nods and still says nothing, but he is far more receptive than before. You reach your hand out to him to help him up from the couch, and he takes it.

He leads you to his room at a slow pace. His head stays down as you both take a seat on his bed, hands still interlocked. Being in his bedroom is odd for you. You’ve been to his apartment quite a few times before he disappeared from your life, but you never breached this space. It’s all very him. Almost surprisingly cozy, with books scattered around nearly everywhere there’s space.

You take in the moment for a beat before saying, “I’m gonna head home, Spencer, but please call me if you need anything at all. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

This makes his head snap up, and his eyes lock with yours.

“Please stay.”

That’s all he says, but every part of him is pleading with you. It’s not a good idea, and you know it. You’re the only person he’s seen in days, you aren’t close anymore, and you don’t particularly want to sleep on a couch tonight.

“Spencer, I don’t want to sleep in your living room tonight. I’ll come back.”

He pauses for a moment, “You can stay here with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

Your heart cracks again. There was a time when this was all you wanted. It’s still, deep down, all you want, just not like this. You know he doesn’t really want you there and he’s not himself. But you aren’t strong enough to say no, so you don’t.

He gets you clothes to wear, and you change in his bathroom. You come out and find him in his bed, laying with his back to you. You have no fucking idea what you’re doing, but you get into bed next to him anyways. There are a thousand thoughts racing through your head, but the prevailing one is how badly you want to touch him, to hold him, to make him forget, just for the night. You stay still, though, confined to the edge of the bed and start to count to drown out the noise.

Though, you can’t drown out his voice, saying, “Can- Could you hold me? I think that everything feels better when you touch me.”

Another crack. By the end of this, you know Spencer Reid is going to break your heart all over again.

~

When you wake up the next morning, Spencer is still asleep. You sneak out of his room and call Hotch. When he answers, you tell him Spencer has let you in, and you ask for time off to try to help. You can tell from his voice that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but he grants you it anyway.

Much of your day is spent like the night before. You stay next to Spencer, and you cook for him after leaving to pick up clothes and groceries. Then, you get him to shower and wash his hair. He sleeps with his head in your lap, and you feel like a fucking idiot at first, but as long as it’s helping him in some way, you let it happen.

That’s the thing: you don’t really know how to help him. You know he isn’t the type to talk about something until he is entirely ready, so all you can do is add something domestic and bright to his life while he grieves. It’s all you can think about in the moments of silence. Hell, you even read to him to try and get your mind off of it, but it barely helps.

The night is the same. You change in different rooms and slip into his bed at different times. You feel dirty for imagining what it would be like if the circumstances were different: if he wanted you like you have wanted him for the past two years. You hold him against you, and you pray for sign that you should be there.

The sign comes the following morning when Derek calls you.

“Y/n…”

You can hear his teasing tone over the phone.

“Hi, Derek.”

“What are you doing, mamas?”

You sigh, “What do you mean?”

You’re playing coy. You know he’s wondering why you’re at Spencer’s house, picking up the pieces, but you won’t be the one to bring it up.

“Why’d you ask Hotch for the week off, Y/n?”

Another sigh, “You know why, Derek. I just, I want to help him.”

“I know you do, Y/n, I know.”

He pauses for a moment, and you let the moment fill with silence.

“I know you care about him. We all care about him. But who is taking care of you?”

“I am. I can take care of him, and I can take care of me.”

“I know you can, but I don’t want you to get hurt, Y/n. Don’t let this be something that hurts you.”

“It won’t. I- You have to- Fuck, I’ll be fine. He’s not fine. I don’t care about me or any feelings that may get hurt right now. I’ll be fine.”

There’s another bear of silence, “Okay, Y/n. Just know you’re allowed to tap out.”

You try to think of anything else to say, but nothing comes, so you say your goodbyes.

You won’t need to tap out. You can take care of him and be good to him and ignore the other feelings you have. You can be good.

The call does make you think it’s time to push, to try harder, to help him get better. So, you approach him that day before bed, before he tucks himself into your arms and falls into a fretful sleep.

“Spencer?”

He takes a moment and then responds, “Yes?”

“You have to talk about it. I think that you need to talk about it. It doesn’t have to be to me but to someone.”

He’s quiet for a long time, and your breath is caught in your throat, waiting for him to say anything.

“I- I don’t want to,” his voice cracks while he says it.

“Spence, you can’t come back if you don’t. You can’t move forward if you don’t.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.”

A ringing echos in your ears.

“You don’t mean that. She- she would want you to keep going.”

Wrong thing to say.

“You don’t know anything about what she would want.”

He’s seething now, below the surface, but smoke has started to plume from his ears. Still, you don’t stop.

“Spencer, everyone knows that. No one would want you to put your life on hold.”

He speaks his next line through his teeth, “You don’t know anything, Y/n.”

You’ve never heard him sound so angry.

“Spencer-“

“No, just stop. You don’t know her. You don’t know me half as well as you think you do. You don’t know anything. I don’t even know why you’re here. I don’t want you here. You can't be what I need.”

The ringing in your ears is louder.

“Spencer, please. Just-“

“No!” His voice is raised now, bordering on a yell, “I don’t want you here. I want you out, Y/n.”

This has to be what shell shock feels like. The ringing, the tingle in your limbs, and the heat in your face. You don’t know how you are moving, but you are.

His voice is echoing in your head, or maybe he’s still talking, but you can’t tell either way. The only thing you can focus on is how Spencer sounded like he hates you and that Morgan was right about the hurt.

~

You spend the next day trying desperately to shut down the noise in your head. It doesn’t work. The day after is the same. And the days following that. You ignore calls when they come, you ignore the texts, but you can’t stop looking at your phone for a message from the man who fills your thoughts.

Spencer doesn’t call, obviously, and you have to sit with a pit in your stomach while you beg yourself to just get the fuck over it. Two years of reckoning with the severity of your love, months of watching him live happily without you, and it’s the three days you spent trying to help him feel incrementally better that floor you.

You feel like a dumb teenage girl with so much love and nothing to do with it. On top of everything, you feel selfish. Spencer lost the love of his life forever, and you’re nursing the worst heartbreak of your life because a boy will never want you and never has. Still, you send out prayers for him over and over. You hope you’ll see him in the BAU again, even if his eyes glaze over you. Hell, even if they look at you with hate the way they did two days ago. You just want him to function. You want him to be good and eventually be happy. You try to go to bed with soothing thoughts, but you end up with a mantra of his name.

You wake to your alarm and dress for work before you realize you aren’t actually supposed to go back yet. You never set a date to return. You wanted to be open as long as Spencer needed you. You’re supposed to be with him. You’re supposed to be helping and not tapping out. But you aren’t.

You have no reason not to return to the bullpen, so you do. You walk in and feel eyes on you. You wait for Morgan to call out to you, but he doesn’t, so you follow the feeling.

Your breath catches in your throat; it’s Spencer. He’s sitting at his desk, paperwork spread out, and he doesn’t look away from your gaze; he just holds it. His face is unreadable, and yours is definitely not, so you look away first. You don’t look up again until you reach Hotch’s office. You knock and hear him call out to come in.

“I’m back if that’s okay.”

He looks up at you, and you want to cry. You know he can read you. He has always been the best at it.

“Are you okay with that, Y/l/n?”

You lock eyes with him, “Yes, sir.”

It’s no use; he knows your tells and you aren’t being honest.

“Alright, conference room in five.”

Whatever he sees in your face, he ignores and takes you at your word, but there’s a warning in his tone. He knows when to let things go and when to push. More than that, though, he knows you’d never let something like this affect your work.

~

The first case back is in Maryland, and the one after is in Austin, and the next is in Philadelphia with The Replicator. The job takes you all over the country, and the cases blend together. You don’t speak to Spencer through all of it. You’re never partnered, never work together, you sit on opposite ends of the jet. You don’t even speak at Strauss’ funeral. It’s radio silent, and everyone notices it, but no one brings it up.

In that time, you allow yourself to slip away slightly. You don’t go out with the team, you see Pen at nearly half frequency, and basically, the only time you speak is on cases. It’s stupid and melodramatic, but you call it healing. Derek tries to reason with you, JJ sticks to you a bit more than usual, and Penelope calls you virtually whenever she can, but their efforts are mostly in vain. This is your way of protecting yourself. You feel like you have to isolate in order to improve, and you know, given time, you will come back to yourself.

Penelope’s insistence that you go to her Day of the Dead celebration breaks your distance.

“Y/n, please come. I know you aren’t going out, but you have to. I know you have people to honor, and I need you there.”

You sigh, “Whose going, Pen?”

“The team, which you are a part of, so you must be there.”

“I don’t think I can do that. I promise you I will celebrate with you. I’ll help you set up, just please don’t make me go.”

Penelope pauses, but the glint in her eye keys you into the fact that she is not interested in giving up.

“We miss you, Y/n. Everyone loves you and misses you. You’ve been living this stupid, isolated life, and it’s time for you to come back. You are not this person. I refuse to believe it. You’re coming, and that’s final.”

Maybe you don’t have the energy to argue, or maybe you know she’s right, but you agree to go.

~

The thought of seeing him makes your heart race, and the clock you keep glancing at makes it worse. Just a few more hours before you're trapped in a confined space (Pen’s beautiful home) with a man you haven’t spoken to in weeks.

You busy yourself with preparing. Lights are hung, food is made, and you make a trip to the store while Pen sets up her remembrance table. When everything is said and done, you can’t help but feel this is the most beautiful thing you’ve been a part of in a long time.

The first knock comes at 7:30 exactly, and it’s Hotch and Rossi. They are followed closely by Blake, then Derek and JJ. By 7:00, the atmosphere is light and loving, and you feel a bit of your anxiety let up as the minutes go by without Reid. But, eventually, the knock comes, of course it does, and you move into a corner as Spencer walks in. You feel a shift in energy, though you doubt it’s palpable for anyone else. Rossi is the first to make his way over to you, and his presence comforts you nearly immediately.

“How you doing, kid?” His voice is soft like he’s speaking to a scared rabbit.

“I’m better,” you say, and it’s about as honest as you can get. As much as you’d like to think he knows nothing about what’s gone on, you’re smarter than that. He’s the best profiler on the team, and he’s always known when someone was off with you. Even so, you are better than you were, even if you aren’t quite good, and you know he believes you.

There’s some idle conversation between you before he asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight. I don’t know when, but I will. Eventually, I will.”

It’s good enough for him, and you move on easily, which surprises you.

Right before Pen gathers you all to present your photos, he says, “Sometimes we think we’ve seen the whole picture, but we miss a big part. People do things because they don’t want to be hurt, but those things hurt them more. Just, be open.”

You don’t quite understand what he means, but you hope you will.

Penelope presents the first picture, which shows her parents. JJ honors her sister, Derek, his dad, Hotch Haley, and Rossi, Hernandez; then it’s your turn. You place down a photo of your best friend. You hadn’t talked much about her, but you think of her daily. She passed a few years before you joined the BAU.

“I was lucky to have someone that hurt that much to lose.”

That’s all you say, but it’s enough for you, and it would be enough for her.

Spencer is last. He places down a picture of Tesla and a picture of Maeve. Your heart is heavy for everyone.

The night dwindles from there. Hotch and Rossi say their goodbyes, and Rossi gives you a knowing look as he leaves. You just smile. You stay for a few minutes after, but eventually, you move to leave as well.

You make it down Garcia’s porch before you feel a hand grab your arm. You turn, and it’s Spencer’s face you see.

“Would you- Do you think you could come over? Do you think we could talk?”

~

The feeling you have walking up to Spencer's apartment is similar to what you felt the last time. You’re incredibly anxious, but at least you know you’ll be let in this time.

The drive over was silent. Spencer had taken the metro to Penelope’s, so he rode with you. It wasn’t necessarily awkward. There was just an understanding that the car wasn’t the place to begin your conversation.

Now, as Spencer unlocked his door, it’s one of those rare moments you felt starved for words, and you know it’s because you’re scared you’ll say the wrong thing and face the same reaction that you did the last time you were in his home.

He leads you to his living room and motions for you to sit, and you do. The two of you are on opposite ends of his couch while you wait for him to say something.

His first words are airy and light, “Thank you for letting me talk to you.”

You look at him but remain silent, waiting for him to go on. All you can think about is why he wants to speak to you at all. The last time you spoke, he made it incredibly clear he did not want you in his life or around him at all.

Before you can think about it more and let your anger and sadness build, he speaks again, “I feel really stupid right now. I kind of feel stupid whenever I’m around you recently.”

He pauses momentarily before going on, “I’m so, so sorry, Y/n. About the last time we spoke. I’ve been thinking about it pretty constantly for the past few weeks.”

You open your mouth, unsure of what exactly to say, but you can’t get there before he’s off again.

“I’m not sure how to talk to you anymore. I don’t think I’ve known how to for a long time. I just, I need you to know how sorry I am for speaking to you like that.”

He takes a shakey breath but keeps going, “That wasn’t me, and that isn’t how I feel. I’m just unbelievably sorry, Y/n.”

He stops there, and you work to collect your thoughts.

“I know. A part of me knows, at least, that you didn’t mean it. I just wanted to be there for you, and hearing that made me- I just- I think it made me hate myself for wanting to be there.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m unbelievably sorry.”

“You didn’t talk to me for months, Spencer. I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why you let me in in the first place. I thought you hated me.”

He’s silent for a long minute.

“I never hated you, Y/n. I just stopped knowing how to act around you, and then I met Maeve. I fell so deep into it that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I- And I just started to feel like you didn’t want me to speak to you, so I didn’t. But, when you came here, after everything, I guess I just felt like you were the only person who would get it. You never, no one on the team ever treated me or talked to me how you did. I just wanted that.”

Tears had begun to well in your eyes now. A part of you gets what he means, at least about letting you in, but the other part is so confused as to why he stopped being comfortable around you.

“I don’t understand, Spencer. Why did you stop knowing how to be around me?”

There’s desperation in your voice that makes you sound like a stranger to yourself. Maybe you’re a stranger to everyone right now.

“I uh, I don’t really know.”

“That's not fair, Spence.”

You’re crying now. Just a little bit, but you can feel the wetness on your cheeks. You can see that you are by the look on his face. He looks broken, and you know it's a reflection of your own image.

You wipe your face, “Thank you for apologizing, Spencer. I just, there are parts of this all that I don’t understand, and if you can't explain them to me, I don’t think I ever will.”

“Y/n-,” he calls out your name like a prayer.

“It’s okay, Spence. You don’t have to say anything more. We talked, and things will go back to how they were eventually.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

You smile sadly as you get up to leave.

“I am, too, for what it's worth. For whatever I did to make things change in the first place.”

You leave it at that, and it takes everything in you not to look back as you leave his apartment.

~

Things do get easier after that. Not completely. You still love him, and it hurts, but it helps to know he doesn’t hate you. He talks to you some, cordial things, and you do the same. You're sure your teammates still sense something is off, but this works for you. Right now, it works. Getting over him, not loving him anymore, is going to take work, but eventually, you know that you won’t hurt anymore.

Shortly after you and him talked, you started going back out with your friends. Spencer joined periodically, but that was normal. Bars were never really his scene.

Tonight, everyone gathers at your local pub. Your last case was particularly grueling, and you all need a way to blow off some steam. It's fun, and you feel good, even with Spencer sitting across from you. You feel proud of yourself for getting to this point.

JJ and Penelope feed you drinks to try and get you to dance, and you let them. Tonight feels as good of a night as any to ‘get back out there’ as Pen says. So, you do. You dance with them, and you ward off the other cops and agents around you who try to pull you away from your group. You aren’t interested in that. Right now, you're just having an appropriate amount of fun for a woman 15 feet from her boss.

Time goes by quickly, and by the time you get back to the table, you, Derek, Penelope, and JJ remain. He tells you that Hotch, Rossi, Reid, and Alex left a few minutes before. The conversation between you flows for a while, up until the drinks loosen Penelope up enough to bring up what you were pretty sure the team designated a no-no topic.

“Y/n, you have to talk about it.”

You’re still laughing as something Derek said when you reply, “What?”

“You know what. You and Boy-Genius. What on Earth happened? You went from ice-cold to semi-friendly. None of us saw it coming.”

“Babygirl-,” Derek tries to stop her, but you cut him off.

“No, it’s okay. I have to talk about it at some point, and I think right now is the only time I’ll be tipsy enough to let you get it out of me.”

You're still laughing slightly, but the pit that's lived in your stomach for the past few months starts to rear its head.

“After your Day of the Dead party, he asked to talk to me. I went to his place, and he apologized. I don’t really understand what he said or what he meant, but I can’t be sad about him forever.”

Pen perks up a bit at that, “I knew that party would bring good things!”

You giggle a bit at her outburst, but then JJ asks, “What did he say?”

The faces around you all tune in at that. You know they don’t see this as gossip. They care about you both too much to trivialize it like that.

“He just said that he stopped knowing how to act around me, and he didn’t know why, but then he met Maeve, and I guess it didn’t matter so much after that. He was my best friend, and then he was nothing.”

JJ shares a glance with Derek and then speaks, “Oh, Y/n.”

“What?”

After a beat, Derek says, “He didn’t just not know how to act around you.”

Now you're confused, “What do you mean? I talked to him, that's what he said. He didn’t know why. I mean, he knows everything and didn’t know why he didn’t want to be around me anymore. How fucking stupid is that.”

You laugh again, but it does come off as genuine in the slightest.

“Y/n, he probably doesn’t really know why. At least not fully. For someone as smart as he is, the kid can be really stupid.”

“Stop being cryptic.”

Derek sighs but goes on, “Pretty girl, pretty boy was in love with you. Probably still is. He just didn’t think you’d ever feel the same.”

“No. That's not true.”

You look at the others around you, but their faces are serious.

“He loved Maeve. He loves Maeve. That, that doesn’t make any sense.”

It's JJ’s turn to talk now.

“He definitely did love Maeve, no one is denying that, but we all saw how he was around you. His whole relationship with her was safe. He couldn’t be hurt by her rejection every day because he had no way of seeing her. With you, he could.”

Your mind is moving a mile a minute, “Did he tell you guys this?”

Penelope puts her hand over yours and says, “He didn’t have to, love. We all say the way he looked at you and acted around you. The way he talked about you. That boy was head over heels.”

“Guys, I appreciate whatever you’re trying to do, but this isn’t real. Spencer doesn’t- this is not real.”

“Y/n, pause. Think about the way he acted around you, the things he said. Think about how Reid is.”

You hear what Derek said, but it all sounds faint like someone stuffed your ears with cotton while you weren't paying attention. All you can focus on are the different scenes running through your head, the scenes of your life with Spencer in it. How he memorized your coffee order and brought it for you every day, how he never shied away from your touch despite his aversion to contact, how he consistently went out of his way to protect you on the field. At his house after everything, the way he clung to you and wanted to be held. How he said in his own words, “You can't be what I need”; not “you aren’t,” but “you can’t.”

Your whole world is crashing down in this bar, and you can’t do anything to stop it.

“Y/n?”

JJ’s voice snaps you out of your spiral.

“Just go talk to him.”

You nod mutely, and you get up.

~

Everything in the last ten months of your life has led you to the exact spot you were when everything blew up in the first place: Spencer’s door.

This time, you aren't too worried about him not letting you in. If anything, it's the opposite. Him opening this door could open a hundred others, and you don’t quite know if you are ready for any of them. You sit there and sit there and sit there, trying to work up the courage to knock, though you aren’t sure it's there to begin with. Right as you're about to walk away and decide you’ll come back another day, his door swings open.

“Y/n?”

His face is lit up with shock, and you notice his hand that is not on the door is holding his pistol.

“What are you doing here?”

You don’t answer, “Why did you open the door?”

He sets his piece down on the entry table before responding, “I heard footsteps in the hall and saw they stopped here. I was anxious. 50.3% of home invasions happen between 8:00 pm and 7:00 am.” He cuts himself off there, “Y/n, why are you here?”

You didn’t pay attention to anything he said. All you could think about was the way his lips were moving and the way his eyes locked onto yours as he talked.

“Do you love me?”

That is not what you wanted to say.

His lips fall open as he takes in a sharp breath, “What?”

“Or I guess did you love me? Before everything? Because Derek and JJ and Pen, they all said that you loved me, and now I can’t think about anything else, Spencer.”

He doesn’t speak, but you don't really give him a chance to.

“I just, I know I sound crazy right now, but I feel fucking crazy. I keep going over everything in my head, and I have been, for the past year I have been, but now it’s all different. It's all different because they said that you loved me, but you didn’t think I’d feel the same way.”

Here, you do pause, but he still doesn’t say anything, so you go on before you can stop yourself.

“Because if that's true, Spencer, it's just- I did. I do. And if it's not, then please just tell me so I can stop feeling this way.”

He sounds resigned when he says, “Y/n,” and you feel like you know what that means.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I'm doing this. You don’t have to say anything. Actually, please don’t say anything. I don't think I can hear it. Just pretend I never-”

He cuts off your ramble, “Y/n, stop.”

You draw your eyes from the floor, look up at him, and find something in his gaze you have never seen before. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at you, and it takes everything you have not to look away. His hand raises to cup your jaw, and your skin lights on fire. Before you can process what he’s doing, you feel his lips press against yours, and something clicks. At first, his touch is light, like he’s giving you the chance to pull away. But, when he grasps that you won’t, he presses himself to you harder, and all you can think about is how nothing has ever felt so right.

His lips move against yours, and you don’t know how you're managing to reciprocate because it feels like everything in your body has gone fuzzy. The kiss is by no means long, but it feels like it lasts forever, and by the time he pulls away, you’re breathless.

His forehead stays connected to yours, and he whispers, “I do, Y/n, love you. I have.”

You don’t feel the tears on your cheeks until he’s wiping them away.

“Oh, Y/n.”

“Did you know? That you did? Is that why…”

You trail off, hoping he’ll pick up on what you're asking, and he does.

“I didn’t at first, or I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you until it happened. I got scared, so I ran. I just never thought that you could feel the same or that I was hurting you. I didn’t realize that. I just thought I was doing what was best for us. I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend.”

“And Maeve?”

“I loved Maeve. I’ll always have love for her. I was trying to move on, and I thought I could eventually be with her and be around you without it hurting. I wish I would have told you this before.”

“You’re telling me now. That's enough.”

This time, it's you who pushes your lips to meet his. Your arms snake around his neck, and his fall to your waist. You follow when he pulls you into his apartment and closes the door. There is still pain on both sides, but you can feel it dissipating as you cling to each other. You’re just two broken people who have finally found a way to each other.

This kiss is different, hungrier. Neither of you pulls away for longer than a few seconds as you navigate your way from his entryway to his couch. Every touch is desperate like you're searching for something you never knew existed until now. His hands pull you closer and closer until he's pulling you on top of him, and each of your legs rests on opposite sides of his hips.

Your lips break from his for a moment, “What do you want, Spence?”

His reply is instant, “You.”

From there, things move faster. Your hands unbutton his shirt and push it from his shoulders while he undoes your pants. There are moments of awkwardness that come with exploring another for the first time, but it feels good. His hands trace over your hips and push further until you're left on top of him in only your underwear and bra. He takes you in like you are something to be marveled at, and you know your eyes reflect the same adoration.

You raise yourself off of him and work to get him in the same state of undress as you, and when you position yourself on top of him, you feel his length press against your center. The two thin layers of fabric do little to hinder the intensity as you rock into him. He lets out quiet moans at the action as his lips trace down your neck and over your collarbone.

His breath ghosts over you and makes you shiver when he asks, “Can I touch you?”

“Please.”

His hand moves between the two of you, and his fingers find your clit easily, rubbing circles over the fabric of your panties. You pant his name against his lips at the action. You feel like your whole body is lit up, and under any other circumstance, you'd feel embarrassed at how worked up you are, but you can’t seem to care.

After a few moments, he lifts you up and carries you to his bedroom. From there, he positions you below him on the bed, removing your remaining clothes in the same motion. The new setup lets you grip him, and he feels big in your hand. His fingers resume their previous assault before dipping down into you. You cry out at the feeling of him inside you, slowly pushing in and out, finding a spot that makes your legs start to shake. He’s relentless in his pursuit and all you can muster up the energy to say is his name.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/n.”

It's somewhere between a whimper and a whisper, but the sound of his voice causes you to clench around his fingers.

He picks up on this, of course he does, and quickens his pace as he coos at you.

“So pretty like this. I’m so lucky.”

You’re embarrassingly close already, so when he moves his thumb over your clit to rub circles as he fucks into you with his fingers, you come undone almost instantly with a warning and cry of his name. He works you through your orgasm, all while whispering praise in your ear. Once you come down from your high, you start to push his boxers down his legs, but he stops you before you can fully.

“We don’t have to do anything more, Y/n. I liked just making you feel good.”

“I want more. I want to feel you if you want that too.”

“Of course I do. I just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I couldn’t regret this, Spencer. I love you. I want all of you.”

It's the first time you’ve actually said those three words to him, and it feels so fucking good to say.

“I love you, too. God, so much.”

With that, he positions himself back on top of you, running his fingers over your slit gently before gripping himself.

“Do you have a condom?”

“I might somewhere, but I have an IUD, and I’m clean. I can try to find one if you’re more comfortable with that?”

“IUDs have a failure rate of around .05% and are largely considered the most effective form of birth control, so uh, as long as you're okay with it, I am.”

You smile to yourself at his statistic but nod, “I want to feel you, Spencer.”

He returns your smile before rubbing his length over your entrance a few times and slowly pushing himself into you just slightly. He teases you, or maybe himself, for a moment before fully entering you. You push your hips up to meet his, and feeling him in his entirety makes your jaw fall open. He’s big, and you feel unbelievably full.

He waits a moment for you to adjust before he starts to develop a rhythm. His hands are everywhere, but his eyes are focused solely on your face like he doesn’t want to miss a moment of your reaction to him inside of you. To be fair, you are probably putting on a good show. Every movement he makes hits you in exactly the right spot, and you don’t think you could be louder if you tried. You can feel the leg he’s not holding up against his shoulder shake against the bed. Your first orgasm has made way for your second to be incredibly close.

“Spencer, please.”

You’re crying out, desperate for a little more to push you over the edge.

“What do you need, baby?” His voice is tight like he’s not far himself, and it sounds better than anything you’ve ever heard.

“Harder. Please, harder.”

He takes your direction immediately, rubbing circles on your clit with one hand while he thrusts into you with a bruising force. He’s fucking you like he wants you to remember the feeling long after he stops, and you know that you will. Everything about it is overwhelming: his smell, his pace, his eyes. You are covered in him, and he is covered in you.

After a moment, the hand he had on your stomach trails up to grasp lightly at your throat, and you fall into feeling. You can’t warn him that you're about to come before you do. The feeling is white hot. Bigger than your first, and the fact that you're coming on him sends you into overdrive. You can feel his hips falter for a moment, but you're lost in a daze, crying out his name.

He pumps into you a few more times before he follows suit. He pulls out, and you feel stripes of his come paint your cunt and lower stomach as he finishes with a moan of your name.

He falls next to you on the bed, and it takes you both a few moments to collect yourselves and catch your breath.

Once you do, the only thing you can think to say is, “I love you.”

It feels like those are the only words circling around in your head at the moment. Some mixture of his name and that declaration. While you know you each said it before, that your profession was the exigence of the sex you just had, it feels uniquely vulnerable to say now. It’s like the moment you just had together could have changed things or made him realize that he doesn’t actually love you after all.

That shoe doesn’t drop, though. Instead, you hear the three words echoed back to you by a man who, 6 hours ago, you thought would never, ever say them.

You turn to face him, and the love on his face feels like it could knock you out. He’s looking at you and smiling in a way you haven't seen in a long time.

“Will you let me clean you up?”

You know that part of the reason he’s asking has something to do with the likelihood of bacteria growth or something like that, but you think it's mainly that he wants to take care of you. Him wetting a rag and running it over you feels intimate in a different way, in an excruciatingly gentle way. Personal in a way that makes you feel like nothing between you could ever be wrong again, and maybe that's naive to think, but you feel hopeful regardless.

Once he finishes, he takes his space back next to you in the bed. This time, he pulls you into his arms, and it's different than it was all those months ago. This time, you know that he won’t push you away and that you won't hurt yourself by being next to him. This time, you just tuck yourself into him, and you let him whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you begin to drift off. This time, it feels like peace.

~

The following day, you wake up to Spencer still next to you, looking incredibly soft in the early morning light. You search for a moment to find your phone in the piles of clothes and are greeted with a text from Pen.

How did it go????

You smile before turning your phone off and climbing back into bed next to the man you love. It couldn’t have gone better.

-

all done! yay!!!

i hope you guys love it!! i’m not 100% happy with the ending but i’ve been writing this for so long and just needed to be done.

this is my first time writing angst on here and my longest fic, so PLEASE tell me what you think! all (nice) feedback is welcome and i love to hear from you guys!! :)

[gristlegrinder]

lies down on the floor. the new kesha song works really well on my commander’s playlist

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister)?

Part 2,

Part 3 (Lucien's Version)

Part 3 ( Azriel's Version)

AN: I’ve had this idea for a while but after hearing “The Prophecy” on The Tortured Poets Department I was finally feeling inspired to write it. You guys have no idea how much that album is about to influence my writing. Also I have no idea how this is gonna end lol.

Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 

Warnings: smut, unrequited love, situationship, fluff, Lucien is literally and angel I love him sm, did not edit (I am tired)

Word count: 3734

“Please, I've been on my knees. Change the prophecy. Don't want money just someone who wants my company…”

I had known the youngest Vanserra for a while now. I can recall the first time I met him on a lovely day  in the spring court when I was visiting with my brother. The man was more than charming, his words nearly had me buckling at the knees. It was around the same time that I had found out that my brother's close friend Azriel was my mate.

I remember the bond snapping like it was yesterday. We were celebrating solstice in the Hewn City and my feet were nearly black and blue from the amount of drunk men stepping on them while dancing. I was about to ask my brother to take me home when Azriel stepped in and quite literally swept me off my feet. He let me stand on his toes and waltz around the room with him all night to ensure that he himself wouldn’t hurt my feet. At some point in the night the bond snapped and I had never been so happy. 

Azriel and I had been friends for over 100 years and I had secretly harbored feelings for him for at least 75 of them. To have my brother's best friend as my mate felt like fate. I didn’t tell him that night, something I have regretted for the last 400 years. 

Not long after that he rescued Mor and any sparks I thought he felt with me that night were long gone. From that day on all he did was pine for her. I couldn’t blame him, Mor was astonishingly beautiful. For a long time after he saved her I resented her, I felt like she had taken my mate from me. It wasn’t until I realized that she wanted nothing to do with the shadowsinger that my hatred for my cousin dissipated. It wasn’t her fault that Azriel was so smitten with her. It was my fault for not telling him, but now it had been so long since the bond snapped that it seemed weird to bring it up.  

So I sat dutifully by his side whenever  he needed someone to rant to about Mor. It practically ripped out my heart to  hear him talk about how in love with her he was. I was the only person he would open up to like that.  He would spend hours asking me for advice on how to woo her, and I grinned and bore it because, at the end of the day, I got to spend time with him.

I had been playing the girl best friend for hundreds of years. The moment I started to feel like he might be losing feelings for Mor in walked Elain. The beautiful sister of my brother's mate. What's worse? She seemed interested in Azriel as well. 

Elain was easy to hate. Not just for her flirtations with Azriel but for the way she treated Lucien, her mate. Lucien had so much love for the Archeron, and she waved him off without another thought. I might be able to understand her reluctance to accept the bond if Lucien was a brute of a male, but he wasn’t. He was soft, kind and easy on the eyes.

I found him tossing rocks into the Sidra one day, no doubt pining over how Elain had barley even acknowledged the flowers he picked for her. That’s when I told him about Azriel and I’s bond. From that moment on we spent a great deal of time together, ranting about our unaccepted mating bonds. Even though we spent most of the time bitching, there was happiness. More than I had felt in a while. 

Then starfall came…and everything changed. 

“You look far too stunning not to be walking in with a date,” Lucien drawled to me from the outside of the townhouse. 

I had spent all day getting ready for the annual party tonight. My dress was chosen specifically to catch Azriel’s attention, not that I felt like I would succeed. 

“Well finding a date is harder than you think, especially at this hour,” I laugh as I walk through the gate he opened for me. 

“Then indulge me,” he said. I turned to find him offering me an arm. 

“You want to be my date?” I laugh light heartedly, admittedly smitten by the autumn court male. 

“It’s a little last minute but I would be honored to walk into that room with you on my arm,” he said fondly. 

I smiled and shook my head at the male before looping my  arm in his and allowing him to lead me up the steps to the front door. 

“You know, you clean up pretty well Lu,” I cock an eyebrow bumping into him. 

“Thanks, your brother sets a pretty high standard as far as attire for this thing. Who knew he was such a fashionista?” Lucien grins before walking in the door arm and arm with me. I don’t even bother stifling the laugh I let out. 

The room nearly fell silent at our entrance. Sure Lucien and I were close and everyone knew, but they had never seen us like this. Even Az and Elain stopped their oh so intriguing conversation to ogle. I swore I saw anger flit across Elain’s eyes, like she was dead set on owning both Az and Lucien. 

Lucien and I spent the evening as wallflowers, doing our best to stay away from all the happy couples. We had even gotten to the point where we grabbed a bottle of wine off the table and brought it over to our couch, both of us tired of constantly getting up and down for refills. 

It wasn’t until Az and Elain not so subtly got up and walked onto the balcony that we decided we had tortured ourselves enough. We promptly grabbed the bottle of wine and waltzed out of the townhouse not even bothering to say goodbye. I supposed it was that exact bottle that did us in. 

I placed my hand on my apartment door, swaying slightly from the alcohol rushing to my head. Lucein’s hand found my hip, steadying me. While I assured him I would be fine to walk home alone, he insisted he came with me. 

“Thanks,” I laughed unlocking the door. 

“You’re welcome,” he chuckles, wobbling himself. 

“I had a really good time with you tonight,” I say, placing a hand on his chest to steady myself.

“I had a good time too,” he smiled. 

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how close we were. Lucien looked down at me, the moonlight illuminating his face perfectly. The sudden tension between us was broken when he crashed his lips on mine. 

One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was lying bare beneath him as he fucked me like his life depended on it. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to get laid until he was buried inside me. Needless to say I understood why people said the Autumn Court males have fire in their blood. 

That was a year ago and since then Lucien and I had decided to continue seeing each other in secret, both of us needing a way to release built up tension so to say. He often stayed the night and we would spend long hours talking about everything from the books we were reading to politics. The sex was amazing, for both of us, but it was the intimacy that came after that I think we both craved the most. An intimacy I would be seeking out shortly given the current topic of conversation between Azriel and I. 

“Gods the other day she was weaning a light blue dress in the garden and I nearly fell to my knees before her,” Azriel ranted to me. 

He had been going on and on about whether or not he wanted to finally make a move on Elain or not. And as his best friend I had to hear about every word of it.

“I saw it, it was a very pretty dress,” I acknowledge, turning the page of the book I was reading. 

“I swear she blushed when I complimented it too, I think I’m making progress with her,” he went on to say. 

“Maybe you should just put yourself out of your misery and talk to her Az,” I suggested for probably the tenth time. 

“You know I can’t just barrel in there. She’s scared and I’m not going to freak her out even more. She will come to me when she’s ready. If she’s ready. Gods that’s assuming she even likes me,” he rambled. 

I roll my eyes and shut my book so loudly it pulls the shadow singers attention. I give him a pointed look that has him startling back just a bit. 

“I know that she likes you Az,” I deadpan. 

“How can you be sure though?” he asks, throwing his head back on the arm of the couch. 

“Because she would be an idiot not to,” I say with a hint of sadness. 

Azriel looked to be at a loss for words, and I realized my words were much bolder than I had wanted them to be. 

Clearing my throat I set my book down on the side table, knowing it will be waiting for me when I come back to my brother’s tomorrow. I stand and subtly adjust my dress.  

“I have to go, but seriously Az, just tell her,” I say walking over to press a kiss to his forehead. 

As I got to walk away I feel him grab my hand, placing a kiss to my open palm, “Thank you for listening y/n, really.” he says earnestly . 

“Don’t worry  about it Az, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say with a fake smile before setting off towards my modest home. 

When Feyre moved into the townhouse I took it as my queue to move out, knowing my brother and his new mate would want privacy. Of course Rhysand offered me mansions and villas but I was content with a townhouse of my own in the middle of town. Big enough to have my own home library, and small enough to not feel so lonely. 

I make my way down the cobblestone streets, the faelights casting a warm glow on the ground before me. It was late, and many couples were turning in for the night. I could see some cuddled up on their sofa’s through their windows, others were having a nightcap together outside Rita’s. I saw a couple rocking their newborn baby to sleep on the second floor of their home, and for some reason, that was the one that hurt the most to me.

I sighed as I walked up a few steps to my townhouse door. I unlocked the door and was greeted to the smell of jasmine and vanilla and the sound of a cracking fire. I walk up my steps to find Lucien sitting shirtless on my large bed, his hair in a bun at the nape of his neck. The male was the image of relaxation. 

I had given him a key months ago. With the males many jobs, emissary to the night court, ally to Jurian and Vassa,  and liaison to Tamlin, he needed a place to truly call home. For the past 9 months that had been here, with me. I never once objected to his subtle moving in, it was nice to come home to someone waiting for me, sometimes even a homemade meal. For him it was nice to have a  place where he didn’t always have to put on a front. It was a win for both of us. 

“When did you get in?” I ask kicking off my shoes. 

“Just a couple hours ago. How was Azriel duty?” he asked, setting his book down as I began to strip off my cloak and dress leaving me only in my lingerie. It wasn’t uncommon for us to be so casual with one another. 

“Exhausting, did you know that Elain wore a pretty blue dress the other day?” I mocked tossing my clothes into a dirty clothes bin, I noticed his missing shirt was there too.

“Unfortunately yes I did,” he chuckled. “You know what always makes me feel better though?” he smirks. 

“I crawl up the bed towards him, “What?” I smile knowing what the answer will be. 

“You,” he smirks, grabbing my hips and pinning me to the mattress beneath him, his lips pressing to mine. 

“How funny I was about to say the same thing,” I laugh, feeling his lips tickle my neck as he makes his way further down my body. 

His mouth trails the inside of my thighs before sliding my panties down my legs, each brush of his fingers from my hips to my ankles feeling like heaven. The male had been gone for a week, and I was desperate for release. He licks a long stripe up my center, flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves at the top. My back arches off the bed and his hands find my waist to pin me down. I feel his tongue begin to lap at my clit as his fingers slide into me, no doubt finding the pool of wetness waiting there. 

This is what me and Lu had always been good at, reading each other. When he had a stressful day  I always made sure to make him feel good, and when I came back to the house upset he never hesitated to get on his knees for me. There was this unsaid rule that we would always take care of eachother. 

Lucien’s tongue continues lapping my clit as his fingers curl to hit that spot inside of me that had me gasping for air. As I started to feel myself getting closer and closer he removed his mouth from me, drawing his fingers out slowly. One thing about hooking up for a year? You learn to read each other's bodies, and lord did the seventh son of Autumn know how to read mine. 

“Lu!” I cry out frustrated. 

“Shhh my darling,” he coos crawling up my body. “I simply want to cum with you tonight.” he smirked, seething himself inside of me. 

“Oh gods!” I cry feeling him fill me thoroughly. 

He pulls out and thrusts back in causing me to whimper once more. Mor was right about one thing, the autumn court males have fire in their blood and they fuck like it too. 

“I missed you, missed this,” Lucien groans, his face contorted in pleasure as he builds a steady pace. 

“I missed you too Lu,” I say through ragged breaths as he fucks into me like his life depends on it. Apparently the time apart made him needy as well. 

I could hardly speak as he thrust deeper into me, his hands on my waist holding me steady so tha he could hit me as deep as possible. When I felt myself start to clench around him he doubled over, burying his head in my neck as his hips continued to snap into me.

My hands found his back clinging to the flesh there for an anchor, my walls fluttering around him one last time before I fell apart.The sudden sensation had Lucien biting my neck as he came with a low groan. 

We spent a few moments catching our breaths, he pushed up on his arms and moved a stray hair from my face, assessing to see if he had hurt me, just like he always did.  When he found no traces of pain in my face he rolled over, taking me with him so that I was lying on his chest. 

This was always the part I think we both craved the most. The sex was great, amazing even. But I longed for a pair of arms to fall asleep in, and he longed for someone to hold. Meaningless pillowtalk just for fun.

“I mean it, I did miss you,” I sigh circling my arms around his waist. 

“I missed you too, I hate sleeping in the spring court, it’s so cold and dark there now.” Lucien said, staring at the ceiling. 

“How is Tamlin?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Terrible,” he muttered. “I had to talk him into letting me stay.”  He continues playing with the ends of my hair. 

“You’re a good friend for checking in on him though,” I say matter of factly. 

“I still wish I could do more,” he sighs, pulling the covers up on the two of us.

“I understand,” I mutter keeping my head on his chest, staring at the fire that roars next to us. 

A long beat of comfortable silence passes, normally I would fall asleep like this. I would sometimes wake to him being gone, sometimes he would wake to me being gone. Only on weekends would both be able to wake up and go to breakfast together. This was one of those weekends, but instead of falling asleep, Lucien spoke up. 

“Can I ask you something?” he asked, not taking his gaze from the ceiling. 

“Sure,” I reply, waiting for a nonchalant inquiry. It wasn’t the first time he and I had played 20 questions to get to know each other more, though I thought that after a year of it we knew just about everything there was to know about the other. 

“Would you agree that Azriel and Elain are never going to give us a chance?” he asked. 

My heart twinges hearing his name, “Well Az doesn’t know, but even if he did I don’t think he would care. I’m not damsel in distress enough for him.” I snort recalling the unconscious type he has.

“I feel the same about Elain, and there’s something I’ve been thinking about, especially this past week,” he continues still facing the ceiling. 

I prop my head up on his chest wanting to read his face and his eyes flit to me, “Cryptic Vanserra, but go on,” I laugh trying to break the tension. 

“I’ve always been fond of you y/n ever since you visited the spring court all those years ago. Now that I’ve gotten to know you, that admiration has only grown, not to mention you’re a very beautiful female y/n,” he laughs at his own words, a tint of pink dusting his cheek and I can’t help but blush as well. “From the amount of time we’ve been spending together it seems you like me enough, and well…I don’t want to be alone anymore,” he says seemingly avoiding his main point. 

I sit up more, intrigued by his words, “What do you mean Lu?” I inquire. 

“I was wondering if you would like to be Mrs. Lucien Vanserra?” he finally says and my heart nearly stops at the shocking words. “I know I’m not Azriel, but consider me an alternative. I think we could make eachother genuinely happy, maybe help each other enjoy whatever we have left of this miserable life?” he asks, his voice laced with uncertainty. 

I let his words sink in as I stare at the bit of wall behind him. As I consider all that he’s said I realize that he’s right, we do get along. I had spent years trying to find a male to fill the hole Azriel put in my  life, but it always felt wrong. It was as if I was taking someone else’s mate, even when the males didn’t have mates.  It didn’t feel wrong being with Lucien because I knew that his mate also didn’t want anything to do with him. 

I was tired of not always having someone to come home to. Not having someone to go to events with. Not having someone to spend holidays with. Not having someone to call my own. I was tired of being alone, especially since I had been alone for about 400 years, but no longer. 

I smile down at Lucien’s nervous face, “I would be honored to be your wife,” I say. 

“You would?” he beams. 

“I would,” I repeated back to him. “You’re right, we do get along, and I’m tired of being alone too.” 

He presses his lips to mine, both of us smiling into the kiss. We would never fill the sadness of a rejected mating bond, but we would be there for one another. I lay my  head down on his chest again, feeling the sleep come into my eyes. 

“How should we do it?” he asked, tracing shapes on my bare back.

“Hmm,” I thought for a moment. A big wedding seemed odd considering we weren’t mates or anything close to it. Eloping seemed more proper. “I think we should keep it small.”

“Do we tell them?” He ponders the most awkward question.

“We can tell them, but we don’t need to invite them. It can be a modified elopement, they will all know but we can just invite my brother and Feyre, that way we both have family there.” I answer snuggling into his warmth more. 

“By the Cauldron I have to tell your brother I’ve been sleeping with you for over a year,” Lucien said anxiously, running a hand down his face. 

I can’t help but laugh at his stress, “He might be a little mad, but I’m sure Feyre will be so excited about it that he won’t care.” I giggle. 

I feel his body relax under my cheek, no doubt realizing that whatever the High Lady says will be law. He slides a red and gold ring off his pinky finger and slips it onto my left hand. 

“Here, it’s a family ring,” he explains looking at the gaudy ring on  my hand. While it fits on my finger well the jewel on it takes up my whole hand and looks unnatural. “I know I’m not part of the Autumn Court anymore but it’s all I have.” he continues.

“It’s perfect,” I laugh, inspecting the ill-fitting thing, “it’s an outcast just like us.”

Lucien's soft chuckle escapes him as he plants a gentle kiss atop my head. Tomorrow promises its usual dose of chaos, but that's a concern for another day. Tonight, here in bed with my fiancé, though this isn't the life I envisioned, I find myself flooded with a happiness I haven't felt in ages.

Part 2,

Part 3 (Lucien's Version)

Part 3 ( Azriel's Version)

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always @crystalferret202

[airaibunny]

BRATTY/DEGRADING/ETC SMUT PROMPTS

1. “i can’t keep going” - “aw, too bad. i don’t care”

2. “i dont care who’s outside”

3. “do you want them to hear you being such a slut?”

4. “what if i don’t?”

5. “i promise i’ll start being good, just please…”

6. “make me”

7. “that sounds like an excuse, i want a confession”

8. “you don’t get to tell me what to do”

9. “that’s strike 3”

10. “if you stop, i’ll stop”

11. “no more, please, i can’t”

12. “where are your manners?”

13. “i hear an acknowledgement, not an apology, do you want 3 more?”(the ‘it’ can be anything)

14. “what did you say?”

15. “try that again”

16. “no, you don’t get to touch”

17. “beg for it”

18. “i said no”

19. “i mean, i got what i wanted, didn’t i?”

20. “stop pushing, it won’t end well”

21. “you don’t need anything, you want it”

22. “say it”

23. “use your words”

24. “i can’t understand you”

25. “i can’t read your mind”

26. “could he/she do it better?”

27. “do you wish it was *name* touching you right now?”

28. “take it like a good girl and stop whining”

29. “that’s whining, i thought we talked about that”

30. “sluts don’t get to make requests”

31. “what happened? you wanted this so bad five minutes ago”

32. “stop talking”

33. “did i give you permission to talk?”

34. “you don’t understand how angry i am right now”

35. “be still” - “i can’t” - “yes you can, do you want to find out what will happen if you don’t?”

36. “why are you already squirming?”

37. “cut it out” - “what do you mean? i’m not doing anything”

38. “come here, now”

39. “you can barely speak, so cute”

40. “i’m tired of you speaking, i need something in your mouth”

41. “if i have to stop this car, i’m going to make sure you can’t walk out of it without my help”

42. “you really don’t deserve this”

43. “i didn’t mean to, i’m sorry”

44. “don’t cum until i tell you to”

45. “what if i just leave you here, wet and needy?”

46. “what’s the safe word? you’re going to need it”

47. “what are you going to do? punish me?”

48. “i really don’t care that we’re in public”

49. “keep it up, you won’t like the situation you end up in”

50. “who do you think you are?”

51. “grab the handcuffs and come back here”

52. “no, you’re in trouble, you don’t get to demand”

53. “liar”

54. “stop teasing me”

55. “i like it when you’re mad”

56. “punish me”

57. “are you going to stop me?”

58. “shut up”

59. “no, you started this, now you’re going to finish it”

60. “clean my fingers, this is your mess”

61. “did you really think that would work? cute”

62. “bad girls/sluts don’t get to cum”

63. “can you tell me what you did wrong?”

64. “explain what you did, if you don’t finish before you cum, you don’t get to finish again for the rest of the night”

65. “you’re being particularly insufferable today”

66. “you’re such a fucking slut/whore/cunt”

67. “make me cry”

68. “ruin me”

69. “you’re not in a position to make demands”

70. “if you ever pull a stunt like that again, i won’t wait until we get to our bedroom”

71. “say that again, i dare you”

72. “i’m going easy on you, you should be getting the belt right now”

73. “what happened to my good girl?”

74. “what would the others think of this? their innocent little maknae being such a whore”

75. “you’ll cum as many times as i want, got it?”

76. “look what you did”

77. “i should edge you”

78. “stop moving, you’ll take what i give you”

79. “swallow"

80. "i'll untie you if you're good"

81. “i want to make a mess of you"

82. “you think your begging is going to change my mind?"

83. “i don't care that you're sorry"

84. “don’t argue with me”

85. “you royally fucked up”

86. “you heard me”

87. “don’t make me repeat myself”

88. “hurry up, if you take too long i won’t touch you”

[mauvecherie-writes]

duality: l.hamilton

pairing: lewis hamilton x black journalist!reader

summary: it’s two years on since and then a lot about your dynamic has changed. things are official and everyone is still none the wiser …

tags: 18+, MDNI, NSFW, extremely sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), protected sex, dirty talk, dom/sub elements, spit, choking, some slight edging, aftercare.

w.c: 4.5K

reading list: @queenshikongo3 @dhlfastestlap @saintslewis @serpenttines-library @hopefulromantic1 @cocobutterqwueen @bluesole16 @emjayewrites @chaneajoyyy @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @sapphireheaven @olyvoyl @lewisroscoelove @lh44adore @hellomadamebutterfly @scorpiobleue @qveenmelanink @tremendousstarlighttragedy @angelinaevans @bekindbecoolbeyou @greedyjudge2 @itsapurrfectstorm @createdbylivingclocks @samiwzx @omgsuperstarg @peyiswriting @miyuhpapayuh @blowmymbackout @purplelewlew

previous part: super soaker.

Your friends loved a good gossip session and tonight’s topic as you sat in the exclusive club ���Lounge 418’ was who had the best dick game in Hollywood. You had very little input considering you were still reaching the heights of your popularity as a journalist and you barely paid attention to the couple of men who had tried to get some type of access to you and it was going to be denied each time.

“The athletes though.” Marie smirked as the rest of the table hummed in agreement. “The toxicity adds a little sweetness to it.” She added which caused you to giggle. Chanel turned her body to face yours.

“Aren’t they all in your DM’s anyway? A fine ass woman talking about them in detail. I know that gives them an ego boost.”

It does. they messaged you all the time, wanting to quiz your knowledge in person. An arrogance that annoyed the hell out of you so you never replied. The only one who ever caught your eye was Lewis and it worked in his favour because he approached you accordingly. You had posted a podcast episode recapping on the events of his race in Brazil in 2021. As a long time fan of his - that was the race that sparked your love for him all over again.

The way you had spoken so passionately about him and his career, defending his right to the championship. Lewis had sent you a message thanking you for your support. It was short and sweet but your crush on him drove you to give him an answer then everything snow balled from there. That one episode changed your life for the next two and a half years.

When your relationship initially began, it was strictly casual sex but things got intense pretty quickly and the NDA was scrapped when things became more official between you. However, the both of you loved and respected each other’s privacy thus no one, even your closest friends knew.

So lost within your mind, you had forgotten that you were the focus of the conversation until Lewis’s sport was mentioned, your head snapped upwards.

“What about that F1 guy you’re obsessed with?”

Your cheeks warmed as a sense of bashfulness filled you. “What about him?”

“Has he ever slid into your DM’s?”

“I mean…” You shrugged your shoulders as you sipped on your French 75. “He was pretty chill and he was thanking me for my support for him for my podcast episode.”

“And that was it?” Marie raised her eyebrow and a small smirk playing on her face.

“We spoke here and there but that was about it.” You replied, trying to keep it as vague as possible. You remembered how flirty he was and how you had gravitated towards him. Your crush did quite a chunk of heavy lifting but Lewis was a natural charmer and he invoked feelings within you that had thought were gone. He brought them out and they haven’t dissipated since.

“He just looks like an absolute sweetheart. I don’t think he’d be that freaky though - seems like the vanilla type.” Your friend Vanessa commented. “Not that there's anything wrong with Vanilla.” She added.

“Nah, I say it’s the sweethearts you need to be on the lookout for. One minute, they’re feeding your strawberries and the next, they’re eating your pussy from the back and their thumb slipping into your ass.”

“That was oddly specific Marie.” Chanel raised her eyebrow with a grimace which caused all of you to burst out laughing. You hid your face behind your glass with a smile on your face.

As the alcohol flowed so did the topics and Lewis was no longer a focus which caused you to relax. You were beginning to think about him too much even though you had been with him in the morning before he left.

Then your phone buzzed in your bag. You placed your drink down and took your phone out and a message notification was on the screen.

🏎️💨: I see you.

You looked up from your phone and tried to search the crowds in the lounge but it was too dimly lit.

You: Lol okay, Mr Creeper. Where do you see me from?

🏎️💨: I’m a few tables ahead of you to the right. I saw trying to look for me. I’m in the blue cap with the TH tracksuit.

As soon as you read the description of his appearance, you quickly spotted him and you couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself. His attempts at disguising himself in public were always terrible and him dressed top to bottom in a Tommy Hilfiger two piece was certainly not doing him any favours.

You: You are terrible at hiding yourself lol. You’re staring right at me.

You: Also, what are you doing here??? I thought you were having a quiet night until I came to your place.

🏎️💨: The boys dragged me out. They say I haven’t been out in a while. I didn’t know we were on our way here until we were outside.

🏎️💨: Come and say hi.

“Who are you texting that’s making you smile like that?” Marie as she tried to snoop, looking down at your phone. You quickly locked your screen and placed your phone back into your bag.

“Nobody.” You smiled at her as you got up. Smiling at everyone, “I just saw someone, I’m gonna say go say hi and I’ll be back.”

Your friends watched you as you walked away from your table, their eyes widening when they see the men sitting at the table.

As you drew closer, your smile could not be stopped as you saw him sitting there on top of the booth, his legs spread. You could spot his rainbow coloured pearl necklace from the top of the track jacket.

With a small wave to the other men, you made it in front of Lewis, standing in between his legs.

“You look good enough to eat.” He mumbled in your ear as you hugged him.

“You look good too.” You replied with a soft giggle. His head turned slightly into your neck and placed a kiss in the depression of your collarbone through the fabric of your top.

Your sweet spot.

You almost moaned but your will power compelled you to pull away.

“Are you allowed to hug me like that in public?” You softly asked him.

“Anything I say goes and I wanted that hug. I haven’t seen you since this morning.” He licked his lips as he let his eyes fall down to your midriff. It was like he could see himself back in your bed this morning. You tapped his thigh so he could focus on your face instead and once he held your gaze and sighed, you rolled your eyes.

“Always in the gutter.” You commented.

“You’re in there with me.” He threw back at you with a smirk. With his grip on your forearm, he pulled you closer in between his legs. Feeling his warmth had you taking a deep breath as he stared at you without word.

“So what’s on the agenda? Everyone’s looking at us, they’re gonna pick up on it.”

“It’s been two years, let them speculate.”

“You know now that I’ve seen you, I just want to leave now and my girls are gonna ask questions.”

“Tell them what you want.” He said. “In about thirty minutes, you’re gonna meet me out front and we’ll go back to my place.”

“What are we doing at your place?” You asked as you played with his zipper.

“You’ll find out when we get there but make sure you book a hair appointment soon.”

“Jesus Christ.” You breathed out as you let his words sink into your bones.

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay … Sir.”

“Good girl.”

God, the urge to kiss him was strong within you but instead you pulled away from him and got back to reality. You patted his chest before you finally withdrew and went back to your table.

“What in the hell was that?!” Chanel exclaimed. “You were trying to play coy with us but you knew that Lewis Hamilton was going to be here?!”

“Yeah, friends my ass.” Vanessa snickered

“First of all, I didn’t know he was going to be here.” You spoke as you reached for the bottle of fresh champagne on the table.

“Was he the one messaging you?” “Is this the first time you’ve seen him in a social setting?” “Girl what the hell was that? Y’all were all up on each other?!” “Yeah, what was that about?”

“What is with all these damn questions?” You tried to laugh them off and focused on drinking. All your friends narrowed their eyes at you.

“This is not over.” Maria pointed at you.

“Whatever.” You playfully smacked her hand away from your direction. And for the next thirty minutes, you had tried to focus back your attention on your friends but since talking to Lewis, your body was riddled with anticipation.

Not wanting to wait any longer, you quickly said your goodbyes, they playfully jeered you as you walked away. You rolled your eyes laughing at their remarks. When you got outside, Lewis’s bodyguard was waiting outside of his truck to open the door for you.

You greeted him softly as you slid into the truck and sat yourself beside your boyfriend, who placed a light kiss on your cheek. You melted into the side of his body as you rode from the lounge to his property.

When you got up to his penthouse, you were in awe of the interior design. You especially loved his floor to ceiling windows that gave you the most perfect view of the New York skyline. Your toes wiggled against the heated floors as you had taken your heels off the moment you entered his home.

You were standing by the window when Lewis came behind you, holding a small glass of wine.

“You always said that you’d wanted to taste one of my wines from my infamous wine fridge.”

“I always found it interesting that you’re not much of a drinker but every home you own has a wine fridge and a small bar.”

“I like the aesthetic of it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “And just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I can’t cater to the people around me who do.”

You took a sip of the beverage and you almost moaned at the richness of the wine hitting your tastebuds. You had always been a wine snob and Lewis indulged in your tastes by buying you expensive wines that you wouldn’t even think of.

“I can’t believe you got me a bottle of Burgundy.”

“You’d been raving about it for a week when you saw that it was being auctioned. Personally I don’t see what the fuss is about.” His last comment caused you to laugh. The bottle was a Chateau Latour from 1984, matured for forty years and you had wanted it since your first big paycheck. The bottle being auctioned was a blessing in disguise but you always talked yourself out actually spending close to £500 for it.

Lewis bought it for you without a blink.

You took another sip, a larger one than the last.

“It has very intense notes. It’s herby but has a lot of fruity notes coming to the top. Black cherries and blackberries is what I taste the most but it leaves an earthy note when it’s done.”

“You sound so hot when you talk like that.” Lewis softly groaned which caused you to blush. You placed the nearly empty wine glass down as he encroached into your personal space. You tried to ignore the way that he was staring you down which was causing your heart to beat incredibly fast. You had always reacted like this to him and you honestly thought that was never going to change.

You licked your lips as he cupped your cheeks in his hands and caressed your skin with his thumbs.

“I just love hearing you talk about things you’re passionate about.” He traced your bottom lip with his thumb as he dropped one of his hands to your waist and pulled you into his body.

“Thank you.” You whispered, admiring his beauty up close. You loved the small beauty spot that sat high on his cheekbone and the double nose piercings with diamonds that caught the light from all angles. His lashes were long and curled and as he looked at you - they seemed to be touching his cheeks.

“Want a taste of the wine?” You asked with a little smirk on your lips as Lewis moved his hand to the back of your head.

“Yeah, give me a taste.” He mumbled before he leaned down and captured your mouth. Lewis moaned softly as he savoured the residue of the wine still on your lips. You couldn’t move your head much as he had moved his hands to cup your face in his palms as he controlled the kiss. You melted into his hold, silently begging for more as you held onto his wrists trying to stabilise yourself.

You nibbled on his bottom lip which caused him to growl, he walked you backwards until you were pressed into the window behind you. Finally, he moved his hands away from your face and trailed them down your body and gripped you as you wrestled with his tongue. His hands dipped into the hem of your skirt until one of his fingers hooked on your thong.

“Can we move to the bedroom?” You whispered as Lewis kissed down the length of your neck. Your fingers moved to his hair, tugging on his braids as his tongue licked on your pretty brown skin.

“No one can see you from up here.” He said as he licked on your earlobe before sucking on it.

“Maybe next time but I want you to take me on your bed.”

“You want me to fuck you into my mattress is that it?”

“Yes.” You gasped at his words and then he picked you up in his arms and began walking towards the bedroom. You capture his lips again - in a far more frantic manner as you clawed at his clothes, begging him to take them off. He threw you onto his king sized bed and then discarded his jacket and white vest.

“Take it all off.” He commanded you which caused you to whimper. You stripped out of your clothes until you were left in just your thong and before you could pull them down, Lewis pulled you towards him by your ankle, squealing as he dragged you. Your back settled down onto the bed as Lewis positioned himself in between your legs and pulled your thongs away from your cunt.

Lewis felt you tremble as he parted your folds with his fingers, teasing them as he watched you react to his touch.

“I always tell you this but you have such a pretty pussy sweetheart.”

“And you love playing with my pretty pussy.”

“Yeah I do. I’m gonna play with you and make you feel so good until I’ve had enough.” You moaned at his words and thrusted your pussy into his face. Lewis chuckled at your desperation, pressing the pad of his thumb on your clit.

“How bad do you want it?” He asked you as you took off your underwear completely.

“I want it so bad baby.” You replied as he got onto his knees and placed your legs on his shoulders. “Please.” You pleaded.

“Ugh.” Lewis groaned. “I love it when you get like this. So needy before I even touch you.” He turned his head to place kisses on the inner of your thighs.

“Because you love teasing me until I can’t take it.” He smirked at you right before he buried his head in your thighs. The first burst of your small whimpers left you as he wrapped his lips around your clit and softly sucked it into his mouth. Your hands quickly found their way into your hair, tugging on the strands as he sucked on your sensitive bud. His eyes moved upward to meet yours that were already looking down at him. Lewis’s gaze was so intense as he caught your every reaction.

Shaky breaths left you as he flicked his tongue back and forth on your nub. Your sweetness trickled into his mouth, dipping the muscle into your cunt. You squirmed in his arms as he continued giving you slow strokes of his tongue before changing the motion into a suction.

“Oh shit!” You gasped as you jerked up to your elbows and pushed the back of your heels into his muscled, tattooed back. Lewis softly groaned against you as his cock strained in his pants.

“Just like that.” You moaned as you pulled on the covers beneath you as you rolled your hips into his mouth. Just as your orgasm was on the eclipse, he pulled away from you and your sound of despair was music to his ears as he grabbed a strip of condoms from the bedside table and he threw them beside you on the bed.

“I hate it when you stop just as I’m about to cum.” You whined as you watched him cover his dick with the condom.

“I know sweetheart but tonight, I only want to feel you cumming on me.” He told you as he traced your opening with the tip of his cock as he crowded your body from above. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he hiked your legs to his waist. Lewis leaned down and pressed a searing kiss onto your lips, you hummed into his mouth as you tasted yourself on his tongue.

He slowly slid inside.

“Fuck.” The both of you sighed. You dug your nails into his shoulders as he slid further into your cunt. Your lips brushed against each other as he slowly dragged his cock in and out of you as you continued to adjust to the stretch. Two years on and you still took a little time to accommodate him.

He placed a kiss on your hairline as he whispered sweet words in your ear. “Always tight and sweet for me.” You whimpered at his words as you tried to push your hips up to encourage him to pick up speed but all he did was put his hands in the crook of your knees, pushing them down. From the new position, his chains were dangling down into your face.

“Baby.” You called him.

“Yeah baby?”

“Don’t go sweet on me. I need you.” His strokes were slow, building his momentum but hearing you say that made his jaw clench. He’d always tried to be gentle with you never really letting his mask slip but there were times before where he had given you a taste and you craved for Lewis to let go of his inhibition.

“I’ll ruin you sweetheart. I’ll ruin you for good.” He mumbled as he pecked your lips.

“I’m yours. Do what you want to me.”

Lewis let your words wash over you and they made him buckle. He dropped his forehead onto yours with his eyes closed.

“Do you know the traffic light system?” He asked you and you quickly nodded your head in response.”

“Green means go, amber is slow down and red is stop.”

“Good girl.” He hummed, giving you one more kiss. “I still want a safe word.”

“Burgundy.” You shot out an answer which caused him to smirk.

“That’s my girl.” He sat up but he was still holding you down as he angled his hips and hit your spot at a different angle. Your breath ceased, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he began to focus on that same spot - thrusting into you hard and fast. Your walls tightly clenched around him, strangling his cock as your body was swept in pleasure. Because of the previous build up, your orgasm was quickly rising.

He could feel your warmth and wetness through the sheath of the latex and for the umpteenth time, his mind wandered to how you’d feel without the barrier in between you. His knees were already buckling , he knew without the condom, he’d crumble. However, he had to focus. Your moans were calling out to him, your hand was pressing at his abdomen to try and relieve some of the pressure but he wasn’t going to let up.

He would get you right to the edge, get your legs shaking before he would stop. Edging you over and over until you were begging with tears trailing down the sides of your face.

“Please, please, please, please.” You rambled as you thrashed your head around, completely overwhelmed with your nerves being overshot by his actions and his dick pushing deeper inside of you. Your eyes were closed as you tried to regulate your breathing to focus on not climaxing.

“Open your eyes baby.” Lewis grabbed your cheeks, the pain of his blunt nails digging into your skin forced you to open your eyes. “There you go. I need you to keep looking at me as I fuck you stupid.”

He hiked up your right leg to his shoulder as he picked up his pace, pounding into you harder and faster.

“Lewis!” You exclaimed his name as your back arched off the bed, gasping for air as his hips snapped harshly against your skin. He loved the way his name fell from your lips, the best music to his ears. “Right there baby!”

“Open your mouth.” He demanded and you promptly let your mouth part. He hovered above you and let some spit drop into your mouth. You whimpered as you quickly swallowed and showed him your tongue to show him that you’d done it.

“That’s my good girl.” He smiled at you and then wiped your bottom lip, smudging the last of your lipstick. His fingers were so close and you took them into your mouth, sucking on them causing his rhythm to stutter. He pushed his fingers a little bit further into your mouth which caused you to gag a little bit and you kept sucking on his digits.

You have a thing for choking and he’d picked up on that but hadn’t really done much to play with you until now. Lewis took his fingers out of your mouth and brought them to your neck and applied just enough pressure to make your walls clamp up around him. You squeezed your eyes closed as more tears came - you couldn’t hold back anymore, our body was begging for release and Lewis continued with his teasing.

“Hold your legs up.” He told you and when your arms hooked around your trembling thighs, Lewis bent his body so that his head was closer to your chest and took a nipple into his mouth. He grazed your areola with his teeth before sucking on your nipple causing your walls to quiver around his dick.

Even without words, Lewis could feel your body crying for release. “My dirty, dirty girl. I can feel you milking my dick, just trying to take me for all my worth.” Using his weight to hold you down, one hand still around his neck and the other coming in between your bodies to pinch your clit before moving his fingers in swift and fast circles on your nub.

“This pretty pussy doesn’t want to let me go sweetheart.” He whispered into your ear before placing a kiss on your shoulder. “Squeezing me so fucking tight.”

“I need to come.” Your lips were against his ear, his cold jewellery touching your warm, flushed skin. “Please let me come, Sir. Let me come for you.”

“What if I don’t want you to? What if I just want you right on the edge? Hm? What if it brings me pleasure edging you and watching you suffer?”

“Baby…”

“You can stop it now. Just give me the word and I’ll end it all right now.”

You shook your head. “Don’t stop.”

Lewis then shifted your position yet again, this time with your knees now on each side of your head. He began fucking you harder than before which left you incoherent, begging and pleading for any and everything.

Your juices were drenching the both of you and with each thrust, the slapping of wet skin caused an echo to carry across the room.

“I’m gonna come!” You inhaled sharply as your chest heaved for air. Lewis placed a kiss onto the back of your leg.

“Come for me baby. Wanna feel you drench my dick.” His words broke the dam. Your whole body was set ablaze as your orgasm consumed your body as you called out his name in a desperate cry. Lewis dropped his head into the crook of your neck, sucking your skin into his mouth as he fucks you through the climax.

His thrusts became irregular and sloppy until he was moaning against your flesh as he erupted into the condom. You held onto each other as the both of you tried to control your breathing. Your bodies were covered in sweat and the stickiness of your fluids in between your legs.

Your body was still vibrating from the intensity of your orgasm. “I can’t feel my legs.” You mumbled in his ear causing Lewis to chuckle. He turned his head and kissed along your jawline before capturing your lips into a soft kiss.

“Did I hurt you baby?”

“In all of the best ways.” You smiled against his lips. “One of the best orgasms you’ve ever given me.”

“One of many.”

“God, I love you.” You groaned as you wrapped your arms around his neck as he began to move away from the bed and towards the bathroom. He sat you on the counter of the sink as he walked to the bathtub to fill it with water before coming back to you.

He parted your legs and grabbed a wet rag and began wiping you down. “Are you sure I didn’t hurt you baby?” The marks of his touch were beginning to show on your skin and the concern in his tone made you swoon. You placed a hand on his cheek and made him look at you.

“I’m fine baby, I swear. I still feel like you’re holding back on me.” You replied.

“It’s our first time venturing into that type of play. I don’t want to overwhelm you just yet. Things tonight were already intense so we need to be careful about that.”

“Hmmm.” You hummed as your walls clenched around nothing and your nipples began to tighten. “God, I love it when you talk to me like that.”

Lewis smirked down at you before leaning forward and kissing you once more. “I take being a dom very seriously. You’re my girl and I love you so I have to be extra cautious.”

“Are you finally going to make me yours completely?”

“You already are, sweetheart, I don’t need to dominate you to prove that.” He licked his lips before picking you up and walking you to the tub.

“No, but it would be nice.” Your answer caused him to laugh as he settled the both of you in the warm water. Your body was sore in all of the right places and here you were in the arms of the same man who brought you the sinful pleasure and now the most tender affection.

The duality of his love.

ru’s letters 💌: I cannot believe that this was sitting in my drafts for two years. I did some adjustments for it to be a sequel and instead of a prequel. Hope you loved it my angels 😘.

edit: thinking of doing a final part for this where we fully explore Lewis in a full Dom mode. Let me know what you think 🫶🏾

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (1)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

I posted this yesterday but I wanted to change a few things so I deleted it and now I’m posting it again lol it’s long but I still hope people like it!

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 1) — MEET YN

liked by bestfriend, yourbrother, and 60 others 

yourinstagram here’s to a new year and new beginnings :)

view all 6 comments

bestfriend love youuuu  bestfriend im so happy to have you back!! 

↳ yourinstagram pls don’t let me choose a bf ever again ↳ bestfriend don’t worry. single squad for life ↳ bestfriend or until one of us gets married lol  ↳ yourinstagram 😂 love you!!

Jan 5, 2021 • 

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liked by bestfriend, yourbrother, and 75 others 

yourinstagram can you believe just three months ago this gal was heartbroken, unemployed, and out of dreams? guess the world reallyyyyy spins around, huh 😜

view all 8 comments

bestfriend yes it doesss  bestfriend now the universe is giving back what she deservessssss yourbrother i think i liked you better when you had no social life

↳ yourinstagram 😂 omg fuck off ↳ yourbrother if this is the language you use around my children i’m never letting you babysit again ↳ yourinstagram 😔 stop that’s not funny

Feb 10, 2021 •

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liked by sisterinlaw, bestfriend, and 60 others 

yourinstagram got myself a camera and a dream (plus an empty bank account)

view all 7 comments 

yourmom Are you OK? Do you need money? x

↳ yourinstagram im okay mom :) love you ↳ yourbrother my bank account is empty too

bestfriend can’t wait to be your +1 at the academy awards 

Feb 26, 2021 •

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liked by yourbrother, bestfriend, and 85 others 

yourinstagram step aside pls your girl just posted her first video on youtube and is now one step closer from becoming a filmmaker ✌🏻

view all 13 comments 

bestfriend THAT’S MY BESTIE sisterinlaw Loved it!! 💋 yourmom I miss you. Give me a call x yourmom Also you should post pictures of your face x

↳ yourinstagram 😂💗

childhoodfriend Nice to see you still love telling stories, haha great video!

↳ yourinstagram oh my gosh it’s been a while! 🥺 thank youuu let’s catch up soon  

Mar 19, 2021 •

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liked by yourbrother, bestfriend, and 167 others 

yourinstagram life lately

view all 23 comments 

user1 just watched your video on youtube about growing up and i’m in tears! you’re soooo talented

↳ yourinstagram omg that’s so sweet thank you so much :’) 

yourbrother why bothering buying a camera if you’re going to steal mine

↳ yourinstagram i didn’t steal it  ↳ yourbrother but you also didn’t give it back yet did you? 

user2 Loving your content!!

April 10, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, anotherfriend, and 319 others 

yourinstagram hellooooo i just posted another video :D even tho she’s not physically in it, i must admit our 20+ years together completely inspired this one. thank you for being there for me. i’m very lucky to call you my best friend and i love you 💗 hope you enjoy it!

view all 25 comments 

bestfriend i cant rn i’ll be back when i stop crying user1 amazing!!! another great video! loved everything about it, left me thinking and wondering about lots of things. i’m blown away by how talented you are.

↳ yourinstagram you’re so sweet 🥺 thank you, it means more than you can imagine!

yourmom Lovely girls 🥰 user3 This was my favorite so far!

April 21, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, sisterinlaw and 512 others 

yourinstagram got my first paycheck and went out shopping 

(ps: remember when my ex freaked out bc he didn’t want me to buy harrys album? lol here’s to you pal) (fine line you’ll be next i promise!)

view all 57 comments 

bestfriend harry styles album listening party tonight

↳ yourinstagram as if we don’t already listen to it everyday lol 

user1 you’re so real for this lol user1 also wtf? why didn’t he want you to buy the album? 

↳ yourinstagram bc he was jealous and insecure  ↳ bestfriend jealous that you’d bump into harry someday, mention you bought his album and he’d fall in love with you  ↳ yourinstagram lol talk about delusional  ↳ bestfriend he just knew your potential ↳ user1 😂😂😂

yourbrother so YOU are the reason why my daughter is suddenly obsessed? user5 Omg didn’t know you’re also a harry fan! What’s your favorite song?

↳ yourinstagram sign of the times always and forever

May 6, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, yourmom and 750 others 

yourinstagram just me and my little camera conquering the world ❤️ lol no but srsly, i know it’s only been a month since i posted my first video on youtube but so far ive had suchhhh a great time working hard to make my dreams come true :’) i sometimes fear my content isn’t much or isn’t professional enough, so the feedback i’ve been getting truly warms my heart and puts a smile on my face! thank you. thank you. thank you.

view all 86 comments 

bestfriend ❤️❤️❤️ yourbrother why are you still living in 2020? 

↳ yourinstagram why are you so annoying?

yourmom We’re very proud sweetheart x

↳ yourinstagram wouldn’t have done anything without your support! love you ❤️

user1 your content is AMAZING! the way you bring little stories to each video has me obsessed 

↳ yourinstagram i love telling stories so much!! im happy you enjoy them! 

user3 Honestly you’re one of the most creative people I’ve come across lately. The way you approach each topic with so much honesty and tell real life stories while not really including people in your shots is incredible!

↳ yourinstagram omg thank you so so much! this means the world me! 

May 6, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, sisterinlaw and 910 others 

yourinstagram hiii i just posted a new video on youtube and im really nervous about it lol this is really different from the others + a little longer, but also the most special so far. it includes a very memorable moment we lived as a family just a couple weeks ago so i trulyyyy hope you enjoy it! lmk your thoughts plssss

view all 103 comments 

user1 i just sent this video to everyone i know. i feel like i say this every time but this one is my favorite yet!! you’re so talented i want to live inside your brain

↳ yourinstagram hahahha you’re the best thank you sooooo much for your constant support!

bestfriend ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS WAS MY FAVORITE ONE SO FAR  bestfriend pls take me to a concert and make a short film of me dancing to my favorite songs too 😭 i beg you!!!!

↳ yourinstagram let’s do it! ed sheeran? beyonce? harry styles? ↳ bestfriend YES ↳ yourinstagram yes it’s not an answer lol you were supposed to pick one 

user8 👏👏👏 you’ve outdone yourself with this one!  user4 You’re so real about this one! My mom LOVES Shania Twain too and the day she saw her live for the first time was exactly like this! She just turned into a fangirl all over again haha 

May 27, 2021 •

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user2 Hey there. I’m so happy youtube just recommended this to me. I’m in love with your content! So creative and touching. I’m definitely going back to binge all your other videos now. I was just wondering, though, is this your real family? I’m only asking because from the way you tell the story it feels so much like watching a movie that it made me wonder if they were actors following a script 😅 hope you don’t take it the wrong way. Have a good one!

↳ youryoutube hiii thank you so much for watching and for being so respectful and polite about your comment! 😊 this is my own family, yes! i actually wasn’t planning on filming this, but my brother and i took my mom to see shania twain (who’s like, her favorite artist of all times!) and i woke up inspired to make a little video about it. i’m really glad you enjoyed it, and i’m actually really flattered by your question, because this was the first time i didn’t script a video at all and was really afraid in the end it wouldn’t come up the way i wanted to. so thank you!!  ↳ user2 Oh, wow! Thanks so much for taking the time to answer me. That’s really interesting to know. Loved how you managed to capture the emotions without actually exposing anyone. I also enjoyed how this isn’t just a “vlog”, if that makes sense. It truly feels like an actual story with beginning, middle and end (I mean, there’s even some drama in it!). So cheers to you! Can’t wait to see what else you’ll come up with in the future.  ↳ youryoutube THANK YOU! oh my goodness that’s exactly what i’m always going for :’) thank you, thank you!! 

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liked by bestfriend, yourbrother and 3,614 others 

yourinstagram hello????? i just woke up to the news that the one and only queen and goddess shania twain watched my video????? and shared it?????? what the hell it’s happening????? 

view all 245 comments 

yourbrother thought you were going to expose mom losing it on our gc haha bestfriend I’M COMING OVER WE’RE FUCKING CELEBRATING user1 😍😍😍 yesssss love to see you getting bigger and bigger!! user18 omg that video was so cute!! also love your aesthetic user14 your mom’s excitement was the sweetest it left me in tears  harryfan say 🙋‍♀️ if you’re here because gemma shared her video

↳ harryfan2 🙋‍♀️ ↳ harryfan3 🙋‍♀️

Jun 1, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, anotherfriend and 5,875 others 

yourinstagram good morning?? is life even real?? 

last week was sooo insane omg im still over the moon and also so happy reading everyone’s reaction to my mom’s dream coming true 🥺 everyone’s just so sweet and kind! thank you!! i wish i could spend the entire day around just chatting and celebrating, but today is a big and busy day for me so wish me luck im really gonna need it 

view all 541 comments 

bestfriend remember there was a time when i used to be the first and only to like your posts? :’) user1 good luck!! user4 Can’t wait for your next video! user9 I THINK I JUST HEARD YOUR INTERVIEW ON THE RADIO??

↳ user10 Yesss. I was driving to work and I heard that too haha ↳ user3 omg what did she talk about? ↳ user9 ＠user3 they were basically asking about the video/her mom. she explained that it was a really spontaneous thing and that she wasn’t planning on doing more of those but after seeing everyone’s reaction she’s changing her mind. oh, she also mentioned she never expected shania to see her video and that she still doesn’t know how it got to her in the first place!

Jun 8, 2021 •

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liked by anotherfriend, cuteguy and 6,513 others 

yourinstagram quick life update: got a part-time job. moved to a new apartment. completed my harry styles album collection. went on a date with a cute guy. posted another video. 

so far no complaints. 300/10.

view all 617 comments 

bestfriend can’t believe ‘went out for dinner with my best friend’ didn’t make the cut 

↳ yourinstagram sorry that’s bts content

user5 Your last video was amazing!! So were the last two before that!! Totally feel like you found yourself in the music field 

↳ user1 omg i totally agree! i can totally see this becoming a series or something like this ↳ yourinstagram ohhhh i love the idea!! :) 

harryfan any chance this cute guy was harry styles himself?

↳ yourinstagram 😂😂😂 minus 100% chances 

user3 Is this part time job film related maybe?

↳ yourinstagram i wish :( needed a normal part time job to pay for my dream job actually lol

harryfan2 omg which one of his albums did you get?

↳ user5 she already has self titled so she must’ve gotten fine line now

June 25, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, cuteguy and 8,315 others 

yourinstagram sorry i havent been here the past few days but i was busy playing hide and seek with my niblings (i just found out there’s a word for niece + nephew btw. how cool is that?!!)

view all 732 comments 

harryfan girl tell me why i came here to watch one video and never left? :’) 

↳ user1 lol same!! she’s great isn’t she?

yourbrother i hope you know you’ll be the one buying your goddaughter a ticket for that harry styles boy

↳ harryfan2 “that harry styles boy” lol excuse me sir? ↳ yourinstagram you’re about to get soooooo dragged and all im gonna do is sit here and watch lol ↳ sisterinlaw I’m sitting here, too!!

user4 your posts always brighten up my day 😍

July 3, 2021 •

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liked by cuteguy, yourmom and 11,798 others 

yourinstagram i can’t believe there are so many people watching me post stuff like this lol i don’t really know how to behave and i get easily embarrassed so if you don’t mind i’ll just pretend we are no more than 5 friends just hanging out okay? thanks!!

btw wanted to share that we took my niece to see ariana grande so…… guess what??? new video will be up tomorrow :D this one is once again a little bit different from the others idk im always trying new things so let’s see if it works!! 

view all 931 comments 

cuteguy 😍 bestfriend when is it going to be my turn? :(( user3 omg can’t wait!!! will we finally get to meet your niece??

↳ yourinstagram nooo:( i don’t feel comfortable sharing them on the internet. that’s also why you’ll see this video is kinda from a parents perspective? idk how to explain with words you gotta watch it to see it haha ↳ user2 we love a respectful and mindful woman 💪

harryfan can’t wait for the day you see harry omg i just know that will be the best video ever

↳ harryfan3 right like so many fandoms have been getting these incredible videos i’m so jealous

July 12, 2021 •

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liked by yourinstagram, bestfriend, sisterinlaw and 4,339,032 others

harrystyles LOVE ON TOUR will be going out across the USA this September and I could not be more excited for these shows. I love you all so much. I’m very excited, and I can’t wait to see you. H

view all 100,888 comments 

bestfriend ＠yourinstagram 🤭 harryfan ＠yourinstagram THIS IS IT DO YOUR THING PLS I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT user2 OMG ARE WE FINALLY GETTING A SHORT MOVIE??? SAY YES PLS OMG ＠yourinstagram user7 i feel like if yn doesn’t take ＠bestfriend to at least one show there will be blood 😂

↳ bestfriend ＠yourinstagram see? everyone knows it should happen ↳ yourinstagram ＠bestfriend STOP WE’RE SO FUCKING DOING THIS ↳ harryfan AIDHASASJDBAJHAJH I’M SO EXCITD

July 14, 2021 •

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liked by cuteguy, anotherfriend and 14,513 others 

yourinstagram had a reallyyyyy huge meeting today and i was losing my shit so this really cute guy took me out for a coffee :D 

(new video’s up!!! hope you enjoy it!)

view all 1,007 comments 

user4 are you guys sharing a piece of cake? stop that’s so sweet :(  user8 omg she has a bf?? but what about harry?? lol

↳ harryfan7 THAT’S WHAT I SAID!! she was supposed to go to his show so he could see her in the crowd and fall in love 😩 ↳ harryfan12 lol please harry doesn’t even know who she is. also maybe don’t be disrespectful to the guy she’s actually dating? ↳ user8 ＠harryfan12 it was just a choke chill out lol

user1 can’t wait for the new video!!! (also… important meeting??? 👀)

July 29, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, mollyjane_x, cuteguy and 17,283 others 

yourinstagram i dont think you guys will ever understand how much you watching and spreading the word about my videos has changed my life. it hasnt been even even six months since i started posting on youtube and yet it feels like i’ve lived four years so far. thank you soooo much for deciding to join this ride with me!

also, so much is happening rn that i feel like i need to sort some things out and reorganize myself. so there’ll be a new video up tonight, and then i’ll be taking a short break before releasing any new content. it won’t be long, just a couple of weeks that will mostly be used to feed my creativity once again lol (and also to plan and script some exciting new projects!!) 

i hope you stay around and wait for me. i’ll see you back really soon 💗

view all 1,345 comments 

sisterinlaw 💗 user1 take all the time we need we’ll be here waiting for you!! <3 user3 you deserve all this sooo much!! harryfan7 i see you molly 👀

↳ harryfan11 no bc how are you even a harry fan and don’t absolutely freak out when harry’s creative director likes your post?? ↳ harryfan8 also his manager following her??? i mean what are the chances of being just a coincidence? 

bestfriend i love youuu and i’m so freaking proud of you 💗 user4 I’ll miss your content because it always puts a smile on my face, but I totally understand and can’t wait to see what’s next!

Aug 13, 2021 •

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liked by cuteguy, mollyjane_x, gemmastyles and 19,107 others 

yourinstagram so……. i kinda quit my part time job to start this other full time job? which is now finally related to something i truly love?? 😅 oh god!! i dont even know what to say. all i know is that im about to start the craziest adventure of my life and even tho im about to board the plane i still cant believe it is ACTUALLY happening. again, thank you so much for spreading the word about my videos and for being so kind about them. thank you for deciding i was worth your time every week. im only here right now bc you gave me the chance in the first place so thank you thank you thank you! 

i’ll share more details as soon as i can (and when i’m sure i wont jinx it lol) but for now, THANK YOU!

view all 1,501 comments 

cuteguy have fun, call me when you land 😘 harryfan you’re going to the LOT and nobody can convince me otherwise!!

↳ user4 why wouldn’t she just say it, tho? ↳ harryfan idk she normally never shares she’s going to a show anyway she just posts the video later 🤷 

harryfan8 the fact that molly and jeff followed her and now molly likes all of her posts can’t be random. also she quitting her job and traveling the same day so many from harry’s crew are traveling? 

↳ harryfan2 AND GEMMA LIKING THIS POST? WHY IS PEOPLE SILENT ABOUT THIS?????

harryfan7 gemma liked this post but she doesn’t even follow her??? bestfriend i miss you already can’t wait to visit you!! user1 im so excited whatever it is you deserve it so much!!!!

Aug 25, 2021 •

— — — — — 

PART 2: LAS VEGAS

— — — — —

I’m not hopeful people will read and enjoy this, but if you happen to do so pls let me know? :( thanks!!

[deadmandead10845]

Brady - Fat2Fit2Fat

(243lbs) Brady works at an insurance agency in Kansas City. He’s far away from everything, and hates his job. He hates commuting and has two acquaintances and no real friends. He’s let himself go pretty badly, but he doesn’t have the will power to hit the gym or change any part of his life. Thankfully, he’s been at his company for 10 years and earns a 3 month sabbatical with full pay to use.

(243lbs) Brady took the first part of his sabbatical to hike in the mountains solo. He stumbled upon what looked like an abandoned shack with smoke coming out of the chimney. He knew nightfall would be soon so he wanted to ask the local if he could crash at their place for the night. He knocked on the door and it opened itself. He let himself in and called.

BRADY: Hello!!!

(243lbs) A mysterious figure appeared around the corner. The woman introduced herself as Cora.

CORA: I’ve been practicing witchcraft in the mountains since I was little and now I am the only one left. Some witch will reveal too much about herself and then she’s hunted by the locals. I chose to reveal my house and myself to you because I can tell you’re not from here and you have an open mind.

BRADY: I definitely have an open mind. I came here to the mountains to find myself. I am on a sabbatical trying to find some sort of motivation.

CORA: What is one thing you don’t have control over that you wish to have infinite control of?

BRADY: *looks down at his soft out of shape body and looks up*

His body has always been a sense of insecurity that made him feel inadequate and less than because he wishes he was fit.

CORA: Nothing with power, career, money?

BRADY: I just want to like how I look and control what I look like.

CORA: *rummages through the cabinet and throws some leaves into what looks like a brewing potion. Once all the ingredients were stirred in, the liquid began to glow a pale orange color.*

BRADY: Is this legit going to help me?

CORA: You drink and find out. Or you can go beg your doctor for Ozempic and forget you came here. At least this is free!

BRADY: I’m not being drugged right now?

CORA: You are, just not a bad kind.

BRADY: *takes the vial of orange liquid and drinks it*

CORA: How do you wish to look?

BRADY: I just want to lose like 75 pounds.

(165lbs) Brady’s pants fell down immediately and his blue polo shirt wore him like a dress.

BRADY: Holy shit I must be hallucinating.

CORA: You’re not but I figured you’d have this reaction. Sleep it off.

Cora snapped her fingers and Brady’s vision blacked out.

—

Brady woke up in his hotel room down at the base of the mountain. He walked to the bathroom and sure enough he was completely thin. He went to put on an outfit and quickly realized nothing in his suitcase would fit him. Everything he had was a 40” waist and all his shirts were XL. He ran through the closest Walmart holding his shorts bunched up in his hand hoping he wouldn’t drop them and bought a new pair of 30” waist shorts. He was so happy.

After his 3 months concluded, he returned to Missouri and submitted his 2 week notice. He wanted a fresh start where he could show off his new skinny body and get laid for once. He was a gay man living in the Midwest with approximately 5 blank Grindr profiles within a 25 mile radius.

(149lbs) Brady packed up all his belongings and moved to Miami. He looked in the mirror and audibly said “I wish I was a twink.” And in the blink of an eye another 15 pounds disappeared off his body. He met Javi at Twist, the local gay club near his apartment. After almost 2 years, the two fell in love and became inseparable and lived together. Javi told Brady he should start going to the gym and getting big arms and a six pack because he wasn’t super into twinks. Brady quietly looked at himself in the bathroom mirror once or twice a week asking for just 1 pound more trying to subtly get larger for Javi without alerting him to his powers given to him by the witch.

(195lbs) Brady had gotten extremely fit and did no work for it. The potion he took two years ago was unbelievable. Javi loved Brady’s new extremely fit body and Brady loved the attention. Brady however, wasn’t sure he loved how he looked. Javi was going away on business to Houston for a month, so Brady booked himself a trip to Hawaii by himself to hopefully ground himself.

(210lbs) Brady wished another 15 pounds of muscle onto his body before he left for Hawaii. He wanted to look his best for the beach so he could post photos of his body online for attention. He wasn’t the happiest, so the online attention helped. Once he landed in Hawaii he took the private boat to the small isolated island resort he had booked.

(175lbs) Brady hated how he looked so he wished 30 pounds off his body because he thought a leaner look would suit him and he tried to walk around the beach and feel comfortable but he really wasn’t sure why he wasn’t comfortable with himself. Brady had an idea, he went to the surf shop in the lobby and bought himself a pair of 2XL swim trunks and went up to his room. He bought himself a case of beers and drank away. He got in the mirror looked at himself and asked for a dad bod.

(280lbs) Brady, still very much in shape but much larger (100lbs larger to be exact) walked down the beach with his beer gut and massive arms. He was happy. He actually liked how he looked. No one recognized him from earlier and all the other guests just thought he was a new arrival to the resort. Brady went back to the surf shop and bought a 2XL Hawaiian shirt before returning home to Florida.

(305lbs) Brady was a huge guy. He wished himself even bigger and squeezed himself into the premium economy seat he booked on points and flew home to Florida. He spent nearly 12 hours total on the plane and when he walked in the door felt like everything was all wrong. He was skinny Brady in Florida, not big and beefy. Javi was due to arrive at any minute. When Brady heard the lock turning, he ran to the bathroom and wished his body back to his 195lb self.

Javi found the 2XL shirts and asked and Brady told him he was trying oversized fashion and didn’t like it, so he threw the shirt away. Brady couldn’t stop thinking about his little escape he had in Hawaii and after a few months went back to the bathroom and wished to be a bit bigger. Javi hated it so much. Javi kept telling Brady to hit the treadmill and to eat less.

(243lbs) Brady was back at the same weight he was before he met Cora the witch. However, he had so much muscle on his body he was a lot smaller than Javi still hated it. Brady loved his small belly and missed playing with the belly he once had when he was an insurance agent back in Missouri. The two attended couple’s therapy to no avail. Ultimately, it let to Brady and Javi breaking up. Javi kicked Brady out of the apartment. Just to get back at Javi, Brady lost all the weight before coming to the apartment to collect his belongings.

Brady needed a new start so he called one of his buddies in New York who was starting a boutique insurance agency and cofounded it with him.

(327lbs) Brady wanted a fresh start in New York so he bought a 3XL hoodie and sweat at the last Walmart before the Holland tunnel, and sat in traffic looking in the mirror and wished to be fat. He’d never been as big as he was now. He watched his body tighten the dress of a hoodie he had put on and fill it out. Compared to last week in Miami, he was completely unrecognizable. He was truly starting over. Once he showered in his apartment he got a look at his new fat body covered in stretch marks and rolls. Brady was generally happy with his size. The only drawback and he couldn’t find much clothing in the city stores that fit him well so he was barely able to dress well.

(327lbs) Four years went by and Brady’s joint venture had taken off. He was able to buy an apartment and afford more than ever. He seemed very content. He was overworked. One fateful day on the train he dozed off. In his dream he was even fatter than he is now. The dream was so vivid he could feel his body sloshing with every step.. when in reality the jerky subway train was sloshing him around. He missed his stop and rode the train to the end asleep. In the dream, Brady said he wanted to get fatter and…

(415lbs) He woke up. His shirt had ridden up his entire belly and his pants completely ripped. He was huge. Brady embarrassed walked to the next departing train that would get him home attracting the stares of everyone for the lack of clothing he had one, especially for his size. Brady decided to take several months remote from work after that, to give his business partner a believable timeline for his nearly 100lb weight gain.

(415lbs) Brady went to Industry, a New York gay bar and opened up his shirt in hopes he would find a chub chaser. Unfortunately he just got stares.

(451lbs) Brady had to get an entire new suit made for him because of his sheer girth. His seamstress couldn’t believe the size of him. She had made him his suit four years ago when he weighed more than a hundred pounds less. Brady knew it wasn’t going to last long because he planned to put a little more weight on. His business partner couldn’t believe the size of him either. Brady needed to remove the armrests on his desk chair so he could fit.

(485lbs) By the summer, Brady had willed another 35lbs onto his body. He attended a big party on Fire Island having fun with his friends. All of the sudden he saw a familiar face.

Javi.

BRADY: Javi???

JAVI: Hiiii…. Have we met?

BRADY: Javi it’s me

JAVI: Where have we met you look so familiar??

BRADY: It’s me, Brady

JAVI: Brady who?

BRADY: Your ex boyfriend.

JAVI: There is just no way. I thought you lost all the weight you put on.

BRADY: Then I gained it back, and then some

JAVI: Holy shit Brady you look awful, do you need me to get you a nutritionist? I am worried.

BRADY: No not at all. I am super happy the way I look.

JAVI: Weren’t you happy when half of Miami wanted to f*ck you?

BRADY: No, but I am happy now.

JAVI: Can I ask how much…

BRADY: How much I weigh?

JAVI: ….

BRADY: Four Hundred Eighty Five pounds last I checked. I don’t really fluctuate.

JAVI: God, this is just insane to me..

Javi walked away.

About 10 minutes later, Javi’s friend Andres walked by and…

ANDRES: Brady?

BRADY: Andres long time no see

ANDRES: I’m sorry Javi said all that… he’s just insecure and projecting on you.

BRADY: Yeah that’s why we broke up all those years ago.

ANDRES: Well, let me tell you. I like the change

Andres grabbed Brady’s belly from underneath and leaned in and kissed Brady on the cheek. He began to walk away.

BRADY: Wait a second, Andres!

Brady grabbed Andres’s hand and pulled him back for a real kiss. Andres’s hand found its way back to under Brady’s belly jiggling it while the pair made out.

Javi watched from a distance fuming with anger.

BRADY: Does a guy like me get to ask you for your number?

ANDRES: Definitely.

Javi walked over

JAVI: Wow Andres making out with my fat ex in front of me is really classy.

ANDRES: Sorry you’re too superficial to understand what a big guy can give you.

(508lbs) After texting for weeks, Andres invited Brady to go golfing with his friend.

ANDRES: Hey big fella.

BRADY: Hey handsome, ready to play?

ANDRES: Yes it’s been a while.

BRADY: It’s been too long for me too.

ANDRES: Shirt’s a bit small Brady…

Brady, embarrassed tried to pull the shirt down over his belly. He knew it was way too small but wanted to test Andres.

BRADY: Wow, I seem to have grown out of it…

ANDRES: Been a while since you wore it?

BRADY: I think this fit me when we met a few weeks ago.

ANDRES: Are you going to try to tell me it shrunk in the wash then?

BRADY: No, I just have put on about 25 pounds since that pool party and haven’t bothered to go shopping.

ANDRES: Wha— … how?

BRADY: Guess I’ve been hungry

Andres knew that Brady was the man for him in that moment. The two began dating.

(528lbs) Brady had gotten into the bad habit of putting 15lbs on every time he was going to be seen at an event to show that he was a growing man. He attended one of his friend’s backyard weddings and knocked over one of the displays with his huge belly.

Everyone who saw him at this point was asked if he was doing ok or if he needed anything. Some of the attendees even offering to give him a doctor referral for weight loss drugs. He assured them he was perfectly ok.

(600lbs) Brady admittedly took it too far. Brady had weighed in at 551lbs this morning. He had some room in his suit and had a big event for his company. He and his business partner were announcing the sale of their company to a big insurance company. He stood on the scale and watched the number go up until he hit 600lbs on the dot.

He was now basically 75lbs heavier than he was 4 months ago. After the sale of his company, Brady was to retire with enough money for him and his grandchildren (if he ever had any) to live comfortably.

When he got home, he totally forgot he would be facing Andres.

ANDRES: Brady…

BRADY: Hey honey.

ANDRES: Something is different

BRADY: What happened.

ANDRES: You look different. Something is just off.

BRADY: I am not sure what you are talking about.

ANDRES: Wait. Is that the suit you had made last week?

BRADY: Yes

ANDRES: Then why does it look like it’s about to pop.

BRADY: Oh yes something is different.

ANDRES: What.

BRADY: I got fatter.

ANDRES: Since this morning?

BRADY: Babe I think it’s time I tell you something.

Brady explained to Andres the whole story about his past life in Missouri. His sabbatical, meeting Cora the witch. He explained how he lost all the weight for Javi. Went to Hawaii and experimented with his body in different sizes.

ANDRES: What do you expect me to believe you have powers or something?

BRADY: Watch this

Brady walked into the bathroom, and willed himself to be a twink again. He walked out weighing 150lbs adorned with abs.

Andres walked to the kitchen and splashed cold water in his face. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

BRADY: I would never tell anyone about this.

ANDRES: You chose to be fat?

BRADY: If I didn’t I wouldn’t be living with the man of my dreams so let’s not.

ANDRES: Ok you’re scaring me you look emaciated.

BRADY: Oh yeah.

The two started to make out while Brady’s body slowly inflated back to 600lbs. Brady’s face filled out and his abs disappeared. Slowly a belly started to form along with soft supple moobs. His love handles expanded outward and his body started to widen. His thighs began to push against each other as they filled with fat.

Andres was so horny watching his boyfriend blow up to such a massive size and came hands free when he watched the fat pad swallow up Brady’s dick.

ANDRES: So how much do you weigh now?

BRADY: Let’s go see

The scale read 600 pounds.

Brady maintained 600 pounds for a while and about a year and a half into dating Andres, knew it was time. He popped the question getting down on one knee.

He couldn’t get back up after getting down which was very hot to Andres, who eagerly said yes.

(705lbs) Brady returned to the mountains. He bought three aur plane seats and filled them up with his girth. He struggled but he hiked his way all the way up to Cora’s hut wearing a suit to thank her for her potion that changed his life.

Brady knocked on the door which immediately opened. His belly knocked over a beaker off the table which led to Cora running into the room.

CORA: How did you get in here??

BRADY: I opened the door.

CORA: How did you find my house?

BRADY: I’ve been here before.

CORA: Who are you??

BRADY: Do you not remember me?

CORA: No, and I would.

She looked down at Brady’s belly.

BRADY: Oh right would this help?

Brady pulled out his phone and showed her a photo of him from about 10 years before. A photo of him and Javi together where he was less than 200lbs.

CORA: What was your name.. Bradley?

BRADY: Brady, close enough.

CORA: Did I do something wrong with the potion, brew it wrong?? I am so sorry!! Let me help you slim down.

BRADY: No, I am this big by choice. I could get down to this weight again any time.

CORA: Why?

BRADY: I was skinny for a while and I just didn’t like it. I was constantly making adjustments to my body so other men would see me as hot. My boyfriend left me when I decided to try out a *very slight* dad bod.

CORA: So you did this? You could’ve been half the size and still been fat.

BRADY: Well some days it just doesn’t feel like enough.

CORA: I never expected you to look like this. I expected you to have gotten massively jacked and been narcissistic.

BRADY: You were wrong

CORA: Very.

BRADY: I came here to thank you. It took me a long time to get up the mountain, but I knew that before long it would not be possible with my size.

CORA: You could’ve shrunken down to climb up here…

BRADY: But that isn’t me

CORA: Well I am happy.

BRADY: Being confident with my size and my body found me the best fiance ever.

CORA: You mean a chub chaser?

BRADY: —

CORA: Right.

BRADY: Well I mean you would have to be to like me at this size anyways. People stare.

CORA: I am staring.

BRADY: Well thank you for doing this for me.

CORA: Any time. Here, let me get you something.

Cora made a green cocktail of ingredients. She bottled them up.

CORA: You two are getting married?

She said looking at the Lock Screen on Brady’s phone.

BRADY: Yes

CORA: Wait until your wedding night to drink this. You both need to drink it for it to work.

BRADY: What is it?

CORA: You two will never break up or fight.

BRADY: This is perfect.

CORA: You also will never get health issues from your weight because you look like a heart attack waiting to happen.

BRADY: Hey!

CORA: So don’t have one before your wedding!

(750lbs) Brady and Andres had a lovely wedding.

The two got married and after the reception concluded, drank the potions together.

(785lbs) Brady loved going out and seeing the reactions on everyone’s faces seeing his size. He would eat for hours just for show and go home stuffed.

(830lbs) Brady was walking through Central Park. Let’s be real, he was barely moving and barely waddling. Suddenly he saw a familiar face again.

BRADY: Javi!!

JAVI: Holy fuck Brady you are huge.

BRADY: I know. Why are you here?

JAVI: I moved here for work. I got a job at an insurance company.

BRADY: You mean the one named after my last name that I just sold?

JAVI: Oh my god..

BRADY: Yup!

JAVI: What's new with you. I haven't seen you since you hooked up with my best friend at a pool party. I haven't seen him either that was so messy and rude of you.

BRADY: We got married.

JAVI: What…

BRADY: Yes we've been married for just about a year.

JAVI: Bet he didn't expect you to get fatter than you already were.

BRADY: He probably didn't but he loves it. He takes care of me and all the things I can't do anymore.

JAVI: I am so glad I left you before this happened.

BRADY: Me too. Next time you see me, I'm sure I'll be even bigger.

Andres walked up between the two of them.

ANDRES: Javi?

JAVI: This is insane. You married him??

ANDRES: Yes.. of course

JAVI: Why did you let him get this big

BRADY: I’ll answer that. He likes his men big, and I wanted to get big.

JAVI: Is that why you tried to get a dad bod all those years ago?

BRADY: Yes, and now I weigh more than eight hundred pounds.

ANDRES: 830 to be exact.

Javi stormed away.

The end.

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations: No.29

*only based on my observations, only take what resonates

(Oml I didn’t realize that I haven’t written out a proper observations post since May?? I’m so sorry y’all life has been crazy b u s y and the world has been on fire due to colonialism, but I’m going to write more again 🙃 I love astrology but existence is wild y’all)

-I had a client say Geminis always get Gemini tattoos.. while getting a Gemini tattoo lol (and they were right!!) (Leo suns are second most likely imo)

-mutable venuses like changes in fashion a lot, they tend to go through fashion phases



-Every Pisces sun I’ve met has said they don’t really like being a Pisces at least once. Which is so interesting because Pisces sun isn’t a placement in determent, Libra is ! And I think 9 times out of 10 Libras will say they love being Libras (or it’s a huge part of their personality fr)

-My favorite thing I’ve heard from a Libra sun I knew was that they hated doing all of the things that made them appear socially functional so I said “why do you do it? why not just stop doing what you hate?” and they just looked blank like they couldn’t even imagine not conforming (even though they were an aqua moon)

-Ok so I’ve been wondering why I’ve had repetitive instances of some people being passive aggressive and w e i r d at my main job when I literally own the business and I’m their boss?? But it’s that Lilith in 10th. No one is neutral about your energy and you can rub folks the wrong way just by minding your business. I don’t like it but especially at work bc I’m a Capricorn and this isn’t productive >:/ lol

-Oh another Lilith touching Asc observation is when people start a conversation with me like 60-75% of the time they try to challenge me or ask lowkey rude questions (sneak diss shit lol) like 3 different people asked me what tattoo I regret the most and I was like ??? Hello? Who are you? Lol these streets oml…

-cancer placements can be really centered on defending their self, their perspective, their family, their community (they don’t have to be but it can be a common trait). I just noticed the pattern after ages of wondering why cancer was associated with nationalism on a wide scale. (Pluto in Cancer generation and the rise in nationalism after ww2 for example)

-I feel like Sagittarius placements (especially the big 3) will always be ready to do something new and life changing at any age (moving abroad, going on vacation and exploring new places, getting their first tattoo, anything that seems like it’ll open the door to a set of new experiences)

-Strong mars and mercury energy can make someone brutal in arguments (air mars, Virgo and Gemini mars, even Kendrick is an example he destroyed Drake- and Kendrick has mars conjunct Mercury and a Gemini sun)

-Sag Venus culture is being clingy because you need a lot of attention/stimulation and suddenly ditching when you don’t get enough attention/stimulation to keep your interest 🥴 (even more with sag mars since they’re action oriented, they’re in the same camp imo lol)

-I blame America’s Aquarius moon for the cultural phobia of being too “irrational” or “emotionally expressive” ….while being known as being too passionate and irrational in many non US cultures (also the US and the emotional detachment for the sake of “progress”, dark side of this placement but thematic nonetheless)

-imo when sun’s transiting your Lilith you can feel like a lot of attention is on you, sometimes good but often pretty scrutinizing. I also feel like you can achieve some impossible things during this transit due to Lilith’s energy (she’s built for rebellion, so when a lot of criticism is pointed her way she finds an unconventional way to come out on top)

-I have so much writing to do but if there are specific placements you want me to do observations on, let me know in the comments and my inbox!

[sideeve]

can you do a miles e42 fix based off of broken clocks by sza

U LUV ME | with 42!miles

— it’s been 3 years since you’ve dated him. why he still talking about you like you together ? i’m not officially back but i just LOVE this concept. and i love sza🤭 ex!miles, both characters are like 17-18, reader has a younger sister, simp!miles fr, reader is still in love with miles but is stubborn, probably makes no sense whatsoever

“ma,” miles kneeled in front of you. “i’ll do anything to win you back. swear. i’ll drop the prowler job. anything.” his hands were wrapped around your legs as he begged for you to take him back.

“you swear?” you pull him up, he now towers over you. “swear.” his lip inch closer to yours “i lo—”

“WAKE THE FUCK UP!” your sister, nicknamed yaya, repeatedly hits you in the face with a pillow. “damn. i’m up, i’m up.” you sit up as she hits your back.

you grab the pillow, throwing it in her face. “i said i’m up.” “mama said you better be ready in 10 minutes or you’re gonna have to find another ride to work.”

you turn your head, looking at the clock.

it read 9:45.

shittt.

“get out so i can get dressed.”

*time skip*

you had barely made it in time for work. “hi, welcome to [ insert favorite cafe ], how can i—get out.” your voice was quickly filled with hatred. “chill, ma. i just wanted coffee.” the boy laughs. “not from here. go.”

you refused to serve him. you knew what was to come next.

“i miss you.”

“my mom won’t stop talking about you.” know well it was just him ranting about how he wanted you back.

“i want—”

“you want a caramel frappe, no whipped cream, a chocolate chip, warmed. i remember.” you deadpan. “i want something else.” your brows raise in shock, “so you have changed.”

“you.”

you groan. you bit your tongue, trying so hard not to yell at him to get out of your store. “i take that back.”

after completing his order, you slid him the drink and cookie, “that’ll be 12.65. cash or card?” he slid you a 50. “keep the change.” he walked off, sipping his newly made drink.

*time skip to the next day*

the day before was stressful. you had karens upset bc you didn’t give them a drink at 75 degree exact, too many customers, not enough staff. it was a miracle you made it out alive.

your sleep once you got home was well deserved. it was peaceful.

until the next morning. your phone was blown up by your best friend trying to get your attention.

[ name ] ! when did u and miles get back together ?

[ name ] girl wake the fuck up.

i know you see these messages. don’t make me come to your house.

answer me hoe😡

you quickly unlock your phone,

“tf r u talking abt?”

he posted on his private story. sum abt “when you two talk it out and cuddle” some shit like that. the caption had you name on it

your head hangs low when they sent the screenshot.

this motherfucker is really delusional.

“we never got back together. tf is he on?”

you threw on some clothes, storming your way to miles’ house.

you knew his mother had work at this time so you have no mercy to his front door. “miles, open this fucking door. imma kick it down.” your tone let him know you were pissed. he opens the door, “what are you mad about ma?”

you raise your phone at his face. “what is this?” he leans back, getting a good look at it. “oh, i was letting people know you’re mine.” you tilt your head, eyes squinted. “are you fucking crazy? what part of “we’re broken up” do you not understand? we ain’t together. end of story.”

he laughs, making you more upset. “that’s what you think. why do you think no one has asked you out yet?” he smirks. “because they know that you’re mine. anybody who wants you gotta go through me first. and you and me both know that’s not gonna end well.” he snickers.

“miles—” “i’m not done.” he cuts you off. “look, i know me being the prowler affected our relationship. but i’m done with that. completely. i’m focused on you right now. i’m tryna do better for you.” he suddenly wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“i’m yours.”

you smirk at him. “and how do i know you don’t have any hoes in your phone right now?” “be reasonable right now.” he smile drops, his nostrils flaring. “okay, i was joking.” you laugh.

“so, what’s this mean ma?” you purse your lips, “i guess we can get back together.” he grins, pulling you closer. “you don’t know how much i missed you. and this ass—” his hands squeeze your ass before you smack his hands away.

“i can always change my mind, miles.” “okay, i was just kidding.”

[menagerlie]

WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WAS A WORM?

furina, lyney, & navia… if they became the worm. gn reader. headcanon format. short, trying to figure out tumblr. pt 1 maybe if i think it’s funny enough to add more characters.

FURINA:

she’s living like this now.

that’s it that’s the post.

i think she’d. leave before anyone had the chance to find her tbh, since she lives alone now... alternatively if it was before everything happened i fear she would just further become entertainment. hydro archon is a… worm ??? 😱😱😱 is this the purest form of water.

how much of worms are water

more than 75%.

they’re just like us fr… new conspiracy theory

we’re all worms.

anywayyyy

fontainians are so funny

would she be disappointed at the lack of mac and cheese? maybe. but in the aftermath of everything, she’s looking for simplicity, for reprieve and a way to enjoy life in the barest of forms. of course becoming a worm would be hard to get used to, but i think she could, fairly easily actually in the grand scheme of things. maybe it’s close enough to what she wants.

she’s been in a human body while playing the role of a god for 500 years. i think she could use a change

becoming a worm in this situation is sort of a metaphor for her situation actually. hehe. learning to live with such a modest, small existence after a lifetime of a lavish, celebrated, constantly watched one. and learning to love it— gunshot

after so long of pretending perhaps being a worm would allow her to shed her old skin and simply be.

i think she deserves it

anyway if you lived with her or visited her like every day, maybe she’d just like. curl up and wait. would probably be fairly particular about how she likes her . um. enclosure.

treat furm kindly or i will get you

:3c

as a wild worm, probably extra afraid of the water. panics in the rain. would be the first up if charmed.

like. worm charming. not. you know what i mean

ok so i’ve been enlightened. that is not why worms come up. ignore that

would wormtainians dissolve

erm. next.

oh yeah. if she’s able to turn back, she’d be happy and relieved of course, but i don’t think she’d be as upset about the experience as the others (except for the fact it may be a bit embarrassing, especially if you saw her). she’s lived a long time, she’s seen a lot, i think she’d appreciate the new perspective. even if it was. silly :3

LYNEY:

oh yeah. totally normal . wait. what

i think he’d magic pocket himself . he’d be safe in there for a bit . right

do you think worms could do card tricks.

do you think he could use his vision

worm. on fire.

anyway

i think he’d try and find out wtf happened and try to get himself to turn back first. if he couldn’t/needs help he’s going to try and find lynette first.

he’s silly to get loved ones’ attention. flips over. attempts to lift a card. rolls around

imagine he could change to a worm and back at will and used it in his shows

disappearing act . but what you don’t know is that there’s a tiny worm on the stage.

i keep getting distracted.

wonders what’s going on but thinks it’s funny at first. then it’s like. oh. oh!!

tries his best to figure out how to turn back. there’s panic there definitely, as any sane person would have, but i think it would especially set in after a little while — he starts thinking less about himself and more about his siblings, father, and you. will you know it’s him? he’s stripped of his capabilities, his tongue, his tricks. he was never a good fighter, but like this he is completely helpless.

if he can’t turn back, i think he’d want to stay w/ lynette at all times. sorry. she’s getting enclosure privileges . you can visit though

would a sentient worm be a funny addition to a magic show

could a worm gather intelligence..?

that would be funny

lynette just sets him down places to eavesdrop and he somehow idk recounts what he heard later

weaponized wormification

anyway. learns to live with it, especially if he’s able to stay near his siblings, though not as comfortably as the others

if he turns back he’s very relieved, a bit shaken. not because of really being a worm but just the helplessness that comes with losing your entire body and existence and what you deem useful about yourself . i think this goes for all of them, though

he’s okay

NAVIA:

president, leader, boss, commander-in-chief of the spina di rosula. my girl !!

you think anything’s changing??? nuh uh

get her some nice soil and a piece of paper with letters on it. congratulations . you’re her translator now.

my sister said wormija board im dying

anyway

might be a little shocked at first and wonder what’s going on, but ultimately i think she’d have fun being a worm if she knew she was going to turn back. she’s sillay like that. i loove her

i think first and foremost she’d try to get the attention of you or other loved ones. might stay close to something of hers if there isn’t a way to reach someone quickly, to try and signal that she’s. herselfff

but like she’s having fun. she’s enjoying it. unbothered queen

so wormquette !! :3c

in wormification angst land, she would mourn her human body but if there’s no way to get it back, she’s not going to let it stop her. she’s been through hardship before. she has overcome it before and she can do it again.

would be the best worm president, leader, boss, commander-in-chief to ever live. for sure

girlypop. she eats. she would slay . beauty and brains even in a worm body. :3

would not be that picky about living space tbh . might like some decorations and a nice place to sleep, though. i think she’d like it being watered! unlike someone.

unbothered. moisturized. happy. in her lane. focused. flourishing.

she’d enjoy sweet fruits in particular! worm version of baked goods.

considering the people she’s lost to being dissolved though, being wormified is kind of funny. like . similar situation (losing your body etc) but she’s still here

:3

hehe. fate

worm angst…

i’m silly

promise

[lovemyromance]

After I finished reading the books and the bonus chapter I thought there was a 50% chance that the next book could be about elriel and 50% it could be about gwynriel, especially when I saw how popular gwynriel was. I didn’t pick up on any of the lightsinger hints. I feel like most people don’t pick up on them the first time they read the books. Without the lightsinger theory, the bonus chapter seems to introduce gwyn as a possible love interest for az.

With everything we learn in hofas and what Sarah said in the today interview, I think she’s more likely to write elriel. But that doesn’t mean that elucien or gwynriel can’t happen, after all she said she writes based on vibes and she’s prone to change love interests.

*I don't even care if this is a troll ask I already had a draft along these lines saved so thanks for letting me use it*

Walk with me, 🚶🏽‍♀️

I mean, I agree. If I had ONLY read the bonus chapter and none of the other books, then yeah I'd say he starts the BC with Elain and ends with Gwyn. So he could go either way.

But that would be ignoring the rest of the books outside the singular, 5page bonus chapter 🤷🏻‍♀️

Though you're right, truly, SJM can take it any which way she wants. You see it as 50/50 chance between Elriel and Gwynriel, I see it as 99/1, SJM herself could be 75/25 who knows! She could do 0/0 and make Azriel end up with Eris too!

And yet - when you read that last sentence - where I claimed SJM could write Azris endgame just as likely as she could write Gwynriel or Elriel - I'm sure a part of you disagreed, didn't it?

"There's no way Azris is as likely as Gwynriel!"

You're right. It's not. You know that. I know that. And you know why we both believe it's unlikely that SJM will throw away both Elriel and Gwynriel in favor of Azris?

It's because SJM doesn't just "switch love interests" without buildup.

We all knows she can do whatever she wants - she's the author. But I think it's kind of an inaccurate statement to say "she's prone to switching love interests", point blank. She NEVER has done that without proper buildup.

SJM has two ways she "changes" a love interest:

1. A main character has a minor relationship that is summarized in a passing sentence or paragraph long thought about their ex/current lover. They might not have even been in an actual relationship just had romantic feelings at one point. Either way, it's never a focus of the story.

Ex: Hunt & Shahar, Feyre & Isaac Hale, Elain & Greyson, Mor & Azriel (and cassian ig), Bryce & Connor, Hypaxia & Ruhn

2. A main character has a full blown relationship with another main character and they fully explore all stages of falling in love, lust, breaking up, and then moving on to another character.

Ex: Tamlin/Feyre/Rhys; Dorian/Aelin/Chaol/Rowan

She does it both ways. Here's the difference though:

The first method is minor stakes. It's typically just the beginning of a relationship, or a retrospective point of view. There is very rarely any physical intimacy. It is also typically only the female's point of view.

In my opinion, it shouldn't really even count as a love interest switch up. It is so small in the scale of things and it never pans out or is given any importance in the main story. It fizzles out after the first 10 pages (not literally guys chill), basically.

Then we get to the second method of her "love interest switch". She doesnt do this one often, and it takes MULTIPLE books to cover. It is about a MAIN FEMALE character. The Feyre & Aelins, if you will.

Both of those situations were not something that was just sprung on us without adequate build up.

Feyre fell in love with Tamlin. Met Rhys. Slowly fell OUT of love with Tamlin. Then fell in love with Rhys. It took her 3 books.

They did not have a romance in ACOTAR while she was still falling for Tamlin. That would've been like if she went to Calanmai, saw Rhys, and then decided she didn't want Tamlin and only wanted Rhys from then.

Aelin & Dorian and Aelin & Chaol were two relationships that were FULLY fleshed out. She did not abruptly leave Chaol and immediately fall for Rowan. These aren't instances where anything happened abruptly in a bonus chapter or even in ONE book- these "switch ups" happened over multiple books.

Now let's look at Elain and Azriel.

In the context of the series, let's evaluate where these two stand in the two ways SJM does a love interest switch up:

1. Minor character romance switch up

- Are Azriel & Elain minor characters? ❌ no

- Did they share only one sentence or paragraph thinking about each other? ❌ no, they had multiple major scenes together

- Was it from a female POV? ❌ no

- do they only briefly show physical intimacy? Yes ✅

So clearly, Azriel and Elain don't fit into the first type of "switch up" she does. The only criteria they fit is that they have had one scene of minor physical intimacy.

2. Major character love interest switch

- Are Azriel & Elain main characters at this point? Yes ✅

- Did Azriel & Elain get a chance to fully explore their relationship and fall in love? No ❌

- Did Azriel & Elain get multiple books to cover this changing of feelings? No ❌

So clearly, Azriel and Elain don't fit into the second type of "switch up" she does either. The only criteria they fit is that they are both major characters right now.

Now what did we conclude as a result of this long ass post, if yall are still with me on this 10k hike?

Azriel & Elain have had buildup together that cannot be ignored.

They have been the main focus (Azriel's Hybern camp rescue of Elain was VERY similar to Nesta saving/willing to die for Cassain)

They have had clear romantic feelings for each other as evidenced by the bonus chapter

They have obstacles in place now (thanks Rhys).

There's foreshadowing in droves scattered throughout the bonus chapters and books.

The natural flow of the story supports Elriel

The POV before Elain's book is Azriel's not Lucien's

SJM is on the Today show talking about rejected mates

SJM has made Azriel step into the role Lucien should have been playing for Elain

If you're willing to ignore this and say "Gwynriel could have a 50/50 percent chance of happening bc of the singular bonus chapter" ... then go ahead. But don't act surprised when you get the next book in your hands and it's indeed Elriel 🤷🏻‍♀️

There is always a slight chance the author could do anything. That's like if I said "yeah - in every soccer game there's a chance the goalie could stop blocking shots and let the other team win."

Like yes. Quite literally they could do that. It's up to them.

But is it likely? No.

Will it go against everything they've set up and trained for? Yes.

SJM could write Gwynriel. She could write Azris then too, as that has equal buildup. She could write Nezris or Azquin. She could write anything. But that minuscule possibly of "anything could happen" doesn't affect typical calculations when it comes to statistics, so I don't know why it's playing a part here. SJM's plot does not defy the normal laws of physics and chance🙄

So at the end of this long walk, if you're still with me, I just want yall to know that yes SJM could do anything she wants she's the author - but Elriel is the most likely conclusion by far.

[waterdeep-weavemoss]

Friendly Rivalry

Oopsie... Astarion and Gale go for drinks, it goes about as well as you'd hope... for @silent-words

Astarion sprawled in a booth at the Elfsong and grinned at the wizard opposite him. Gale narrowed his eyes in good-natured suspicion. ‘What?’

‘Oh, nothing darling. I’m just thinking how unlikely this all is. Gods below, could you imagine if Tav knew about this? She’d have a heart attack, poor thing.’

‘We’re allowed to be friends, Astarion.’

‘Oh, where’s the fun in that.’ Astarion’s mouth quirked. ‘We must get drinks. I’ve never seen you drunk. What’ll it be?’

‘I can get my own,’ said Gale. ‘I’ve never had trouble with that sort of thing.’

Astarion tutted. ‘Hello, darling,’ he said, bringing his attention to the young tiefling bartender. ‘A bloody mary for me, would you please? And… hmm…’ he frowned, trying to sus Gale out. ‘A Cormyr 75.’

‘I prefer wine,’ muttered Gale, ‘but very well.’

‘Live a little.’

Gale frowned. When the barkeep handed over their drinks, he took a sip and then, apparently emboldened, said, ‘I live a lot. Tav comes to my bedroll each night, after all.’

Astarion’s expression changed subtly, no longer the open and big-eyed calm of happiness. Now he looked like a cat seeing an opportunity. ‘Most nights,’ he purred, taking a sip of his drink and licking his lips. ‘But it’s unbecoming to speak of the poor darling when she’s not here.’

‘I’m sure she’ll forgive a slip in decorum given the circumstances,’ said Gale tersely. ‘You’re lucky she’s so sweet or you’d starve. Just because she lets you bite her doesn’t mean she wants you.’

‘Hmm, yes she is very sweet,’ said Astarion, his eyes glittering. He sipped his drink, watching Gale’s barely contained rage. ‘But we’re all friends, of course. It’s not like she’s ever come when I’ve bitten her or anything…’

‘Enough,’ said Gale, holding his glass so tightly he looked like he might crush it. ‘You’re lucky I have the decency to cast silence. She screams for me like you wouldn’t believe.’

‘You’re right,’ drawled the vampire, ‘I don’t believe it.’ He leaned across the table, a lazy fanged smile on his lips. ‘Perhaps I would, if she hadn’t been whimpering so deliciously in my arms last night. Not that it means anything of course. She loves you so much it’s sickening.’

‘Jealous?’ said Gale in a low voice. He sipped his drink, watching.

‘Of course I am. Frankly, she deserves better.’

Gale privately agreed, though he would never tell Astarion that. He finished his drink, ordered two more and downed them. Astarion followed suit, slightly bemused but happy to keep pace with him, until Gale’s eyes widened at something over his shoulder.

‘What?’ he whispered.

‘We need to stop talking about Tav.’

‘Why? It’s surely all in fun, it’s not like she-’

‘Shut up, Astarion.’

Astarion’s nostrils flared in anger, but he peeked subtly behind him and seemed, somehow to go even paler. ‘Oh, no.’

‘Exactly.’

‘We can agree on this,’ Astarion breathed, hissing through his teeth in his urgency, ‘we have to protect her from him.’

‘We need to go.’

‘Agreed.’ They stood up to leave, gathering their things quickly, and were a few steps towards the door, when-

‘Such haste?’ Raphael regarded them with wide, expectant eyes. ‘It’s not like you two not to linger. You look as though you’ve seen something truly terrible.’

‘Not at all,’ said Astarion, spinning on his heel with a bright smile on his face. ‘We’re just a little tipsy, that’s all. Eager to go home to our friends and all that. Sleep off the headache.’

‘Come on,’ said Gale, grabbing Astarion by the wrist. ‘We need to go.’

‘Tav’s been looking for you,’ said the devil smoothly. ‘I daresay she gets bored, all alone. And being unable to leave camp currently, well…’ he flashed a smile.

How the hells did he know about that? Gale thought, his mind racing. She’d been incapacitated in the last fight, and he had insisted she stay in camp for her own safety. She hadn’t listened until Astarion gave her a withering look and said something about her needing enough blood to not die when he fed, thank you very much.

‘She can handle herself,’ said Astarion coolly. ‘She’s hardly some wallflower. Especially not in the face of the likes of you.’

‘I wonder,’ said Raphael, finishing his whiskey, ‘has she been reading my letters?’ As Astarion and Gale both tensed he laughed, waving a hand and disappearing in a haze of red.

‘What the fuck is he talking about?’ growled Astarion.

‘I don’t know,’ said Gale, shaking in anger, ‘but we have to get back. Now.’

Tags:

@boufsy @owlseeyoulaterpal @lanafofana @amorgansgal

@auroraesmeraldarose @aryancunin @miradelletarot @marlowethebard

@netherese0rb @crimson-and-lavender @reeseykins @medra-gonbites

@roguishcat @weaverofnetheril @galedekarioswifey @hyperfixationstation128 @lastlight-inn

@astarryvamp @tealfling

[astro-rainbow777]

Astrology Observations

Volume I

Disclaimer: Please take these with a grain of salt as I am not a professional. These are just some of my observations I’ve seen from studying random people in my life. I hope you enjoy💕

💐I know someone at work with a Taurus stellium and one of her Hinge posts says her love language is gifts, and said (jokingly I hope) that she would preform sexual favors for a guy if he bought her m&m’s lmao. She also was hooking up with this guy at our work, that she had no intentions on dating, and would get sooooooo possessive if she saw him talking to any other girl. She also talks about being possessive all the time with her “play” friends ;)

🍬 I have my 6th house and Taurus and work with sooooo many Taurus placements. I chart 75% of my coworkers and the ones I talk to the most have Taurus placements, kinda cool.

❤️‍🔥As a Scorpio Moon I’ve found myself really drawn to and appreciative of the Aries Moon nature. They are so direct & assertive with how they feel. I appreciate this so much because I don’t ever feel the need to worry if they are hiding anything from me. Especially when you really get to know an Aries moon, what you see is what you get. They also validate and encourage me to express my big feelings which makes me feel so safe! As a lot of you know Scorpio Moons can be very secretive with our feelings because they can be so big and scary to others. The last thing we want to feel is ashamed for how we feel things and Aries moons get that, and they genuinely don’t hold a grudge against you for anything you say whenever you’re emotional. Just having that type of energy in a connection makes healing and growing in a relationship 10 times easier for us! Thank you sm to the Aries Moons out there! Just to add the 2 Aries Moons I am close with have Scorpio in their personal placements as well….if you don’t relate maybe that’s why lol

👽Scorpio & Virgo in big 3 🤝 Being the most observant people you will ever meet in your life! They pick up on the teeniest little things ever, for ex. If you have a stain or wrinkle anywhere on your clothes that’s the first thing they will pick up on. Also this combination is usually not a fan of change from my experience. Like if you move something from the “correct” place 4 inches over they will be like “Why are touching my shiz brah?”-Never fails. They like the routines and the consistency. They will literally spot a bird 10 yards away and be like omg is that a gRey-WIngEd trUmPetER?!?!! And I’m like how??? How did you even? These people notice everything, probably a great investigator too-same with Gemini/Scorpio placements!

♟️I promise you Virgo placements care about doing something “correctly/right” more than you do- even whenever it doesn’t directly effect them. They are so funny in the way that they operate I love them 😂 If you ask a Virgo to hang up a picture on the wall- please make sure you have a leveler!!!! They will spend 15 minutes minimum making sure that it’s even, if you don’t provide the necessary tools they will rehang something until it is perfection! Once a Virgo was doing a double nose piercing on me and kept redoing the mark of where she was going over and over and over again just to make sure it was perfectly even with my other piercing. Which I appreciated but I could tell if I left the shop with a lop sided nose ring it was going to bother her more than it would me! Very Wholesome peeps- ily guys fr 💙

☮️Gemini Venus’ do tend to be pretty loyal from my experience- but if they are bored or in an unfulfilling partnership they have the tendency to mentally cheat like doing tarot readings to see if their ex still thinks about them type of shh 😭Also the type to gossip about their partner or make up rumors about their relationship. Then they go home to their boo and act like nothing is wrong? 7th house Gemini tho can be very flighty whenever it comes to intimacy (I have this placement)- I am extremely loyal but if me and my partner get into a fight I’m prepared to break up always. I have a 7th stellium tho so I’m not sure how y’all would relate or not 💗

🏖️Leo moons NEED a creative outlet in order to be emotionally fulfilled imo! They thrive having their own little show-from what I’ve seen with these guys they love having a hobby they can share with the world and regularly be the center of attention. No joke-these people are some of the most talented beings I have met in my life! They 100% have a gift or a niche they get a lot of positive attention for and desire to share with the world. Every Leo moon I have been close with loves to perform for their loved ones- it is so wholesome like they are sharing a part of their soul with you⛲️

🐟Heavy 12th house placements (mainly Mercury & Venus) read poetry regularly or relate a lot to poetry. Even if it’s like little Tik tok or instagram posts. I’ve also noticed these guys like to just have books-even if they don’t read regularly? I lived with a 12th house Mercury w/ Neptune in the 1st house and they like to read poetry but only whenever they are depressed. I think that this individual in particular also just really likes for other people to think that they are super poetic themselves. They like to talk about poetry and the arts but I’ve lived with them for almost a year and they rarely do artsy things. Venus in the 12th though genuinely loves poetry and regularly reads it. Venus in 12th is also BEAUTIFUL AF but thinks they have nothing to offer most of time? Like I don’t understand. Blind to their own beauty but so quick to see everyone else’s. Angels 😇

🦀As a Cancer stellium (Mars, Venus, Jupiter) in the 8th, I have lied to people about how I am feeling, or what I am doing as a form of emotional protection. I used to rarely let my friends and family know how I am doing-especially if I’m doing bad. I regularly feel bad for being upset with others, and it leads me to just completely abandon emotional honesty if I don’t think someone will take to my feelings/boundaries well. I AM SENSITIVE AND DELICATE and I’m also damn good at hiding it for I have thine Scorpio Moon in 12th🧚‍♀️ People only know what I want them to know- I’m in therapy guys! So please don’t worry about me 🥸

🌝P.S. happy cancer season reeeeee

I hope you enjoyed my first lil observation!!!🎉

I encourage feed back and kind constructive criticism! Please lmk how you felt and how you relate! Let’s connect! Let’s talk! Mwah 💋

Ty sm for reading 💕

-Kya

⬇️FEAST YOUR EYES FOR THIS IS MY NATAL<3

🌈 I LOVE RAINBOWS 😇

[robertreich]

How the Super Rich Are Killing Social Security

Here’s the real reason Social Security is in danger that nobody’s talking about.

It's not just because too many boomers like me are retiring. It's because of inequality.

Now, I don’t want to alarm you. Social Security is still helping us oldies enjoy our golden years — but only for so long.

Social Security is one of the most popular and successful government programs ever created, not only helping retirees — but it’s also keeping 26 million people out of poverty.  Yet here is the problem:

It’s going run out of money before you can ever receive it if the rich don’t start paying their fair share.

The trustees of Social Security — of which yours truly was once a member back when I had thicker hair — say the program will only be able to pay full benefits until 2033. After that, Social Security will only be able to dole out roughly 77 percent of benefits.

Why? It’s not the reason that many seem to think.

Boomer retirees like me might be soaking up some sun, but we’re not soaking up all of the program’s funds.

The Social Security trustees anticipated the boom in boomer retirements. This is why Social Security was amended back in 1983, to gradually increase the age for collecting full retirement benefits from age 65 to 67. That change is helping finance the boomers’ retirement.

What did the trustees fail to anticipate? How much income would be going to the top.

A big part of the American working population today is earning less than the Social Security trustees anticipated years ago — reducing revenue flowing into the program.

At the same time, a much larger chunk of the nation’s total income is now going to the top compared to decades ago.

But income subject to the Social Security payroll tax is capped. No dollar of earnings above the cap is taxed. The cap in 2023 is $160,200.

So, as the rich have become far richer, more and more of the nation’s total income has escaped the Social Security payroll tax.

For example, a CEO earning $20 million a year pays Social Security taxes on roughly 1% of their income, while a worker earning under the cap pays Social Security taxes on 100% of their income. But they both end up paying the same amount of money into the program.

The rise in the amount of income above the cap due to inequality has cost the Social Security Trust Fund reserve an estimated $1.4 trillion since 1983.

The solution is obvious: it’s time to scrap the cap, and make the rich pay more in Social Security taxes.

One plan introduced in Congress would eliminate the cap on earnings over $250,000 and also subject investment income to Social Security taxes. It’s estimated that this would extend the solvency of Social Security for the next 75 years without raising taxes on 93% of American households.

This is where you come in. Share this video and help spread the word about the real threat to Social Security. If we want to ensure Social Security’s long term future, and that working people can retire with dignity, we must make the wealthy pay their fair share.

[nectar-cellar]

Hi, how are you! I was wondering what nose sliders you use? I’m jealous that you don’t use nosemasks! I need the tea

heyyy :3 oh i have a wall of text for you.

i only avoid nose mask makeup because i can never remember which one i used on who + i dislike color matching as i can never get it exactly right. so i just avoid it to keep it simple for myself. i try to keep makeup minimal on my sims since i often change up their makeup. i like the look of it on other people's sims, it can add a lot to an aesthetic, you should go ahead and use them if you want!

well the first thing is to use a skin that already has a cute nose on it, because you don't want to fight with a texture you dislike.

i end up adjusting a lot of sliders... i can't think of an easy way to describe how i shape the nose. i'll give some general tips for how i personally do it below. i do have my sliders folder up for download in my tagged/dl: sims if you want it but i think it's more about how you use any sliders you do have and the overall shape/proportions of the nose, rather than which sliders because there is no one slider that will create the ideal nose. it's more about creating your own nose-sculpting technique which i'm sure is different for everyone, and creating a nose that suits the sim you're envisioning.

my hobby is watching makeup and plastic surgery videos so i guess i think about noses and facial features a lot. i will discuss tips, settings, and specific sliders below...

i am only sharing my process, there is no correct way to make sims, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and nose shapes can vary so much.

i like to start with a clean slate. if i'm doing a townie makeover i will usually have a look at their slider settings and reset any extreme ones back to zero, or reduce those settings to less extreme values.

head section -> i set the (base game) Face Profile slider to about 100 or 200. this brings the nose and chin out so you get more projection from the 3/4 view and from the side no matter what your nose settings are.

nose section -> (base game) Nose Definition slider: i keep this one between -100 to 100. i like a softer look to the nose. at higher settings i find the definition looks too harsh. for flatter noses especially for sims of colour i'll reduce the nose definition to -50 or -100, sometimes more if it looks right.

(base game) Nose Scale and Nose Width sliders: i usually will reset these to zero if i'm doing a townie makeover because i often disagree with EA's slider values. the nose anchors the face so by setting it back to zero it helps me judge other proportions of the face, as well as parts of the nose itself. the nose scale and width are usually the final adjustments i make.

(base game) Nose Mass slider: for very defined noses i tend to keep this at zero or 25, for softer or flatter noses i will increase this to around 100 or more, it just adds softness/mass/width to the nose bridge area.

(base game) Nose Rotate slider: i keep this slider fairly neutral between -75 and 75. when deciding on the upturned/downturned angle of the nose, i adjust this slider first, then go back and adjust more later if needed.

(base game) Nose Tip Scale slider: this affects how much the nose tip juts out from the side view, and how wide your nose tip looks from the front. i usually keep this one at -50 to -200. it's about proportions though. you might want to enlarge the nose tip if the profile lacks outward projection, or if you're just sculpting a nose with a bigger and wider tip. if you already have quite a defined, strong nose then you might want to make the tip smaller to keep the nose shape overall proportionate. if you have a large nose tip, you might want to make other parts of the nose smaller/weaker to sort of let the bulbous nose tip have its spotlight.

(base game) Nose Tip Rotate slider: after i do the Nose Rotate slider, i go to this slider to decide how much i should rotate the nose tip specifically, to see what angle looks good with the nose's overall angle.

Nose Tip Width slider: pretty self explanatory, you can create a daintier or stronger nose tip by adjusting the width. cc slider linked below. not sure if base game has one

Nose Tip Height slider: so this defines how high or low the nose tip "stretches" down, kinda hard to describe and the right setting depends on the nose shape but i use this quite often. it miiight be a cc slider i'm not sure

(base game) nose bridge sliders: for the profile, i adjust the nose bridge depth, nose bridge rotation, and nose bridge height sliders to get the angle i want. then i adjust the nose bridge width which affects how the sim looks from straight on.

finally for the nostrils, i usually set the definition, height, scale back to zero then i adjust it to be proportionate with the nose i'm sculpting. also i will fine-tune the rotation of the nostrils here to make them more or less flared. you can use the Nostril Scale slider and the Nose Width slider together as they both affect how wide the nose looks.

sliders i love

thornsofpeace - thornsboxynosetip slider. so this slider basically creates a narrower, more defined nose tip that i cannot replicate with any other slider. i keep it at 0 to 100, maybe up to 200 for very defined/prominent noses. or very itty bitty bella hadid noses.

simtanico - nostril widen slider. this slider makes the nostrils wider which is very useful and can't really be replicated with other sliders. i usually set this to 100, sometimes 200 or 300 for sims with more prominent nostrils. i use this in combination with other nostril rotating/lifting sliders. simtanico has a lot of nose sliders to try out but i use this one the most.

simtanico - nostril lift slider. i use this slider with the one above to get more flared/lifted nostrils. the amount really depends on the nose/face.

oneeuromutt - nose tip y scale: this slider affects the side profile and the nose tip from the front, basically making the nose look more or less sharp/defined

oneeuromutt - nose tip width: self explanatory

oneeuromutt - nose tweak: an interesting slider that can flare the nostrils and nose shape outwards or inwards

oneeuromutt default replacement nose sliders - good to have

and there are more sliders i use here and there of course but i think those are the main ones.