#‘why/how do you have an 11 hour playlist about them? you can’t even listen to that in entire sitting’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writingsbychlo · 3 years

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sun in the shadows (11)

word count; 10,191

summary; you go to dinner with stiles, and things that were once great rapidly go south.

notes; you’re gonna hate me. sorry.

warnings; reference to panic attacks, a lot of yelling, just heart pains, y’know?

There was music vibrating the flooring from the apartment next door to Stiles and Noah’s, and it had taken you a moment to distinguish between the two, considering how often it was that the noise was coming from behind this door instead. Swinging open a second later, your flannel-clad best friend stood behind it, a spark in his gaze and a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes when he greeted you.

“Hey, Sti.”

“Howdy, pretty lady. Come on it.” Stepping back, he swung his arm dramatically for you, and you giggled a little as you walked in, bag swinging by your side and keys rattling in your hand as you clutched them with your phone. “I figured I’d drive, it’s easier than taking two cars.”

“That means I get to drink.” You smirked, hanging your own up on the key hooks next to the door, and slipping your bag down from your shoulder to take up a temporary residence on the coat rack. “Where’s Noah?”

“Loverboy is right there on the couch.” Stiles pointed over your shoulder, your brows furrowing a little at his lack of greeting, and when you turned, you realised why. Now that you could see the headphone sitting on his head, you knew why, and you could pick up the very faint humming that was coming from them, unintelligible with the muffled effect, but clearly loud in his ears.

Crossing the room to him, he was focused on his computer screen before him, typing rapidly up at an essay you weren’t entirely aware of, but it was presumably just a final assignment before the end of the year. Placing your hands gently on his shoulders, he jumped rather violently at the sudden touch, and your chin rested on the top of his head as your hands ran a little further down his chest. Sinking back into the couch once the stiffness from his body faded away, the reflection in the computer screen showed a smile, and one of his hands came up to rest over the top of your left. The other raised up, enough to lower the headphones from his head, and leave them hanging around his neck.

“Hey, sunshine.”

“Hey, starshine.” Sliding around onto the couch, you ignored the slight gagging sound Stiles made from the kitchen, taking a seat beside Noah, and he removed the headphones entirely, twisting to face you a little more. Leaning in, his smile shrunk, something softer but a little more serious as your nose bumped against his, before your lips weer brushing together. Once again timid at first, before he was pushing a little closer to you, confidence behind his actions as he left a sure kiss to your lips, smiling all the while.

One warm but calloused hand came up to sit on your cheek, thumb smoothing over your cheekbone each time he pulled back, only to come back in with another peck and another, until you were grinning too widely to let him press anymore. His cheeks were pink when he pulled back to look at you, something sparkling behind his darker brown eyes as he did, and you leaned a little more into his palm, just before it pulled away.

“You two sicken me, I can’t stand to be in this room right now.” You scowled, turning to look at your best friend, and the blush on Noah’s cheeks only got deeper, turning to face his computer as he’d missed the presence of his brother behind you both entirely. “I’m going to get my coat and my jacket, and we can go.”

“Go?” Noah echoed as Stiles left the room, and you shrugged, collapsing back into the cushions of the couch, even if it would only be for a little while.

“I’m going to dinner with Stiles.”

“Oh.” He hummed, and you smirked a little, head tipping to the side to look at him as he tried to hold his face steady. “Sounds fun.”

“Do you wanna’ come too?” You teased him with the tone of your voice, and his eyes narrowed on you a little as he picked it up, but his smile was breaking through the false frown he wore.

“I would, but I can’t.” Raising a brow at him, you prompted him on further, and his gaze flicked to his screen for just a moment. “I have an online lecture in an hour. Can’t miss it.”

“Shame, it’s always more fun when you’re there.”

“Always?” He grinned, leaning in closer again, until his nose was bumping yours, and he let out a breathy laugh against your lips. “We’ve only ever been out together for dinner with my brother once.”

“Yeah, well, that one time was pretty fun. You opened up a lot, I liked that.”

“I like it when you open up too.” He mused, hand landing on your thigh as he moved to place a kiss to your lips, the innuendo not going unnoticed, and you scoffed, twisting your head as not to muffle your laughter, and he grunted when his lips met your cheek instead.

“You’re awful, you know that?” You shoved at him, grinning all the while as he backed off. “So many bad jokes. And dirty jokes. And bad, dirty jokes. That’s all you are.”

“Yeah, but you like it.” He was too confident in himself, and you rolled your eyes, moving to pick up the headphones that still had noise coming from them, and he only watched as you did.

“So, what are you listening to?”

“Your playlist. Well, I mean, the one I made for you. It reminds me of you.” You placed the headphones over your head, a song you were unfamiliar with but had a catchy tune meeting your ears, and you wicked a little at the volume. Reaching a hand up, Noah adjusted the dial on the side of them, turning it down to an appropriate level, and you couldn’t help the tapping of your foot along with the rhythm. “You like this song?”

“I’ve never heard it before, but it’s pretty good.”

“A little time with me, and I’ll have your music taste expanding considerably.” He smirked a little, switching the song while it was halfway through, and beginning to skip through them, clearly in search of one as his eyes were fixed on the computer screen. Lifting the headphones down from your head, his gaze moved back to you, smile flittering for a second as contentment became questioning. “What?”

“You sure you don’t wanna’ come to dinner? I haven’t seen much of you this week.”

He snorted a little, and you rolled your eyes at him, his hand coming out across the cushions to find yours. Flipping it over, your fingers laced together lightly, and he was still smiling when your gaze dragged up from looking at your connected hands to meet his. “We went for coffee twice, and it’s only Thursday.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’m clingy.” You mumbled, pouting as you shrunk back into the cushions some more, and he only chuckled at your false mood.

“I like that you’re clingy.” His hand slid further up your arm, griping lightly at your bicep to pull you to sit up again, and his lips moved close enough to your own once again that you could taste the coffee he must’ve had at some point, warm on your tongue when you inhaled. “I’m kinda’ clingy too, but I just meant that we’ve spent a normal amount of time together so far.”

“For what, normal couples?”

“Oh, shut it.” His lips brushed against your own teasingly, sweet kisses that barely touched your lips, and you smiled, pushing up further into him, only to be teased more when he pulled back, just enough to keep your kisses like featherlight dances instead of loving embraces.

“You gonna’ kiss me already? It’s rude to leave a gal waiting, you know.”

“I’m thinkin’ about it.” He whispered, puckering enough that you could finally steal a few simple kisses from his lips, between fleeting smiles and tips of his head, noses bumping each time he pulled back, only to take your chin between his fingers and kiss you again. “Why don’t you stay over tonight? I’ll kiss you plenty more then.”

“Deal.”

“Gross.” Stiles scoffed, and you groaned once again, pulling back reluctantly as you turned to face him. “Tonight is about me, thank you very much. I got problems.”

“You got no sense of timing. What problems could you possibly have?” Noah scoffed, twisted enough to lay his hand over the back of the couch and face his brother.

“That is a topic for me, her,” Stiles pointed at you, your brows raising for a second when Noah’s eyes flicked to your own, and you shrugged, “and a bottle of wine. Let’s go.” Standing from the couch to do as told, you stretched slightly, Noah following and Stiles grabbed his keys from the hook by the door, a hand settling on your lower back, guiding you. “You wanna’ come with us, Noah? I suppose I’ll let you in on all my big secrets. We did share a womb, and all.”

“I can’t, but if you brought me back some food, that would be awesome.” Stiles only nodded, turning away to undo the latch on the door. Grabbing your bag for you, Noah lifted it up and over your shoulder, a barely audible thank from you as he did, and only dipped his head in acknowledgement.

“What do you want us to bring you back?” With your jacket on and your bag retrieved, you were ready to go, Noah’s fingers smoothing the hair back out of your face when you turned to look up at him again.

“You know what I like,-”

“Yeah, you.” Stiles muttered, and you swung your hand out, smacking him roughly on the arm and leaving him to curse and rub it better, turning back to Noah instead. His twin had ignored him, despite the pink hue to his cheeks because of it.

“Just surprise me, I don’t mind.”

“‘Kay.” With eyes flicking to his brother for just a second, Stiles whistled excessively and turned away to the corridor, allowing you just a moment of quiet as he turned away. A few simple kisses, one to your forehead and then to your lips, the latter a little prolonged, before you were being pushed back away towards the door. A soft smile, warm cheeks and then you were leaving, waving goodbye to him before hooking your arm through Stiles’ and letting him guide you away.

Once the front door was closed, the whispering stopped, and a wickedly smirking Stiles turned to you. “So, things between you and my brother are getting intense, huh? When do you both change your Facebook status?”

“Who the hell changes their Facebook status, Sti? What are you, forty?”

“Hey! He flicked at your nose, punching the button for the elevator with his thumb a second later, and as the two of you waited, he turned to face you again. “Seriously, though, what’s the deal?”

“Well, I guess-”

The door pinged, a group of girls that lived down the hall from him stumbling out. They were giggly and drunk, greeting you both warmly with hugs that were weak and smiles that were a little too wide, loudly chatting as they passed you both by. The smell of floral perfume and booze was strong in the elevator, and once the doors closed, you were left in a little shock. “Oh, my God, I feel like I’m choking on perfume. I’m gay, I shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“I’ve used your bathroom after you got ready, I had to fumigate your cologne out of it.”

Stiles’ jaw dropped at your joke, the machine whirring as it began to lower towards the ground floor, and you giggled at the shocked look on his face. “I do not wear that much cologne.”

“Sure, Sti. Tell me again, how much did your industrial-sized bottle cost?”

“I despise you. That was on an offer, and it’s a refill bottle, it saved me so much money.” You only hummed as the doors opened, and you nodded disbelievingly, following him out of the elevator. Holding the door or the parking lot open for you, he scoffed, a scowl on his face but amusement in his eyes. “Fuck you, okay? You can go hungry.”

“I’ll go home if there’s no food.”

“You’ll do no such thing.” He snipped, knowing it was true, and only a second later, he was grinning again, the two of you making your way over to the powder blue jeep. He held the door open for you on the passenger side, bowing dramatically as he bent at the waist, before slamming the door shut once you were clear, a slight skip to his step as he rounded to his side of the vehicle.

Hopping inside himself, the radio sparked to life with a twist of the keys in the engine, a slight spluttering from the vehicle as it came to life, and his fingers messed with the volume dial, turning it down and strapping himself in. “You know, your brother is a mechanic.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my car.”

“Yeah, they are totally supposed to make those sounds.” You teased, and he patted the dashboard, one hand smoothing over the worn leather of the steering wheel.

“Don’t you listen to her, baby. She’s just jealous because her car isn’t as cool.”

“You’re so weird.” The words came out as a laugh, and then the music filled the silence, his attention moving to the roads before you both. It was always comfortable with Stiles, and despite his erratic tapping or the slightly grainy radio that he insisted he was fine, driving with Stiles was like taking a step away from real life. It was disconnecting, just for a moment, and oddly enough, it was one of the few times when he was quiet.

Today, though, was different. Stiles was different. He was a little twitchy, skipping between small talk topics like the weather and the latest movie trailers, like there was too much on his mind for him to contain, but he was trying to distract himself. He was so busy that you barely got a word in between here and the restaurant, just trying to process every piece of nonsense that he was saying. The man barely took a breath until he was falling out of his vehicle and into the parking lot, the evening chill striking into him for a second and forcing him to pause.

“Got a lot on your mind, Stiles?”

“Yeah. Kinda’.” He sighed, biting down on his bottom lip to quiet himself when it looked like nonsensical jumble was going to start pouring from him again, and he shrugged slightly, before choosing to offer his elbow to you for your arm to weave through his own. “I want to hear the specials before we start unpacking all of that.”

“Then we’d better get you inside. The suspense is killing me.”

With a little tug on his elbow, his clumsy footsteps fell into step beside you, lanky legs taking shorter steps as you took strides just to keep up with him, and a gush of warmer air washed over you both once you stepped inside. The smell of mixed spices and warming meals hung in the air, music made of chimes and upbeat notes playing from speakers in the ceiling and low lighting to set the tone for the evening as the sun outside was setting and leaving the city shrouded by dusk.

You were seated, a reservation under his name that was spelt incorrectly on the sheet, and a table in the back corner with plush seats was given over to you both. The table cloth was long, thick white cotton brushing the exposed skin on your thighs as you tucked yourself in. Your waitress disappeared after handing a menu over to both of you and taking a drinks order, leaving you to sit in silence, with an empty glass each, and a jug of iced lemon water, which your friend was quick to pour out.

His foot was tapping agitatedly against the ground as soon as he had sat back down, sipping continually at his water until the glass was half empty, and you took pity on him. Reaching a leg out under the table until your foot could press up to his, the bouncing of his heel stopped, his eyes raising up to meet yours, and his face crumples a little bit.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Sti.”

“I know, I just- I want to talk about it, but it’s really stressing me out. I feel like now that we’re actually here, it’s more real.” He sighed, giving in to his stress and letting his elbows rest on the table so that his chin could fall to his hands, and he was staring at you expectantly, like you had all the answers.

“I can’t help you ‘til you tell me what’s up.”

“You mean to tell me you’re not a psychic?” He smiled, sitting up straighter again when the waitress returned, and he took his pop immediately, lips sealing around the straw as he took a long gulp of it, and she produced her notepad.

You’d barely had a chance to look at the menu, opening it up and flicking your eyes over it, you looked for the safest option, something you already knew, letting Stiles fill the time with chatter to the waitress as he ordered his own meal. Placing your orders and letting her disappear, Stiles watched her walk away, and then glanced around the restaurant for a while, before his gaze finally came back to you.

“Okay, fine. Stop staring into my soul.” The edges of your lips flicked up at the sides, but your amusement didn’t last long, because he barely even reacted to his joke, the frown on his face becoming permanent. “I feel like I’m losing everyone in my life.”

“That’s heavy.” Your breath left you very suddenly, like a punch to the gut as he spoke, and he shrugged, looking vulnerable as he stared at you. “Shit, that’s not what I was expecting.”

“Yeah, well, I need advice, and I figured, that’s what best friends are for, right?”

“I suppose so.” You sighed over-dramatically, a smile forming on your best friend's face as you did. His hand was resting atop the table, scratching lightly at the table cloth. You weren’t even sure he knew he was doing it, fidgeting was just a by-product of his anxiety, and your hand settled over Stiles’ across the table, calming his movements. “Why do you feel like you’re going to lose everyone?”

“Well, you know, you’re whatever it is you and Noah have going on, which is to be expected, I knew you were going to meet someone someday, but sometimes it’s hard when you come over and it’s not to see me. It feels odd.” It was a hard confession to be made right off of the bat, a slight guilt pooling in your lower abdomen, and he shrugged, but wouldn’t meet your eye.

Squeezing his hand lightly, you turned it over, holding it carefully and raising your second to be able to hold it even tighter, his hand squeezing back over yours in response, and a seeking of comfort. “You know, when you first started dating Derek, you had way less time for me, and I had to get used to that. Our Friday movie nights became your and Derek’s date nights, and that hurt at first, but I got used to it. Because it made you happy, and I wanted you to be happy.”

“I forgot about our Friday movie nights.” He gave a small smile, forcing his gaze to rise so his eyes would meet your own, and you gave one in return.

“You’re not gonna’ lose me, Stiles. Haven’t you already got plans to be my maid of honour?”

“I guess it would be a shame for you all to miss me in a fabulous dress.” He tried to seem positive, like his problems were solved, but you could still pick up the fear and hopelessness that he was trying so hard to cover.

“You’re my best friend, Stiles. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and I never want to know. Maybe after college we won’t see as much of one another, and maybe we won’t get to hang out like this as much, but I’ll always be there for you.” He heaved a heavy sigh, sinking more into his seat, but this one felt a little more relieved. “You know, your brother has these same kinds of fears. You should talk to him.”

“He does?”

“Yeah.” You lifted your drink, taking a sip, and he groaned disapprovingly.

“You can’t just leave it at that! I feel like Noah is slipping away too, tell me about him, so I know how he feels.” His tone was begging, and you once again felt that pang of guilt, shaking your head as your glass was lowered back to the table. Despite taking a drink, your throat was dry once again, and you cleared it lightly before speaking.

“I can’t, Stiles.” His face crumpled, a pout forming on his lips, and you mirrored him. “It’s private stuff, things between me, him, and my files. I can’t say anything.”

“You can’t say anything?” He echoed you, eyes narrowing on you slightly, like he was analysing you, and you couldn’t figure out why.

“You should talk to him.” You pushed, ready to question the looks you were receiving, before a plate was landing in front of you. The shock made you jump a little, a plate landing before Stiles too, and you had never even heard the waitress approach with your meals. She was smiling brightly, clearly unaware of the tension between you both and the weight of the conversation looming overhead. She offered you drink refills and sauces, and everything you could possibly need, before she was leaving once again. “Your brother loves you, Stiles, and I know you love him. If you just talk about this, you’ll work it out.”

“Despite the weirdness of you dating my brother, it’s kinda’ comforting. You know us both so well, your advice is specialised.” His brows wiggled, and you rolled your eyes lightly at him. As you picked up your knife and fork, beginning to poke through your food, his own scraped slightly against the plate, a mumbled apology for the wince it caused. Before he was tucking into his food.

“So, do you want to tell me about your problems with Derek?”

His gaze snapped up to yours, shocked and astounded, his vigorous chewing paused as his full cheeks went still, and you pushed a polite forkful of food into your mouth as your gaze stayed locked with his. His chews were slower, and he choked down the large mouthful all in one creating a loud gulping as he did, following it with a large gulp of water. “How the hell did you know that?”

You smiled despite your mouthful, chewing again and swallowing your first bite as he continued to stare. “Well, you know, for starters, if your problems were solely about myself and Noah, you’d have turned to Derek for advice, plus, Derek was not invited to this dinner. You’ve also been having a lot more little disagreements with Derek than usual lately, and lastly, you haven’t spoken about him once yet today. You normally always want to brag about your big beefcake boyfriend.”

“I thought I was the one who wanted to become a criminal profiler.” He teased, cutting up more food on his plate as he took a break from your lingering gaze to stare down it, and thinking about his next words.

“Spill.”

“Pushy.” He teased, taking another bite, and the silence only lasted for a few seconds longer, before taking another mouthful, chewing on one side of his mouth to be able to talk. “It’s not really an issue, it’s more of a disagreement. He wants to jump right into life, right?”

“I’m not seeing an issue.”

“Because there isn’t an issue. Just a difference on when.” Your brows furrowed a little, waiting for him to explain, and he was pushing food around his plate with his fork. “I want to jump into life and all, I do, but I want to take a break. A gap year, or whatever. Maybe travel, maybe stay put, but just take a little break.”

“And Derek doesn’t?”

“No.” Stiles huffed, stabbing slightly too aggressively at the piece of steak on his plate. “He wants us to move in together, he wants to get an apartment on the other side of the country where his family’s law firm works. He doesn’t think we need a gap year, he just wants to go straight into life.”

“What I’m hearing is that you have a loving and devoted boyfriend who misses his family and wants to live with you.”

Stiles stared at you, appalled for a second, before picking up a fry with his fingers and pointing it at you. “Don’t simply my problems when I’ve overthought them all in my head.” He bit the end of the fry aggressively, and you crossed your knife and fork on your plate, the meal half-eaten as your hands came to join in front of you.

“Just because Derek wants to move across the country and start working doesn’t mean you can’t still take a gap year, Stiles.”

“What do you mean?” He was puzzled now, his brows rising and that sweet look of confusion on his features that made him look so young, and he continued to munch through his fries at an almost alarming rate.

“I just mean that it sounds like Derek is trying to build a reliable and secure future for the two of you.” His face softened as he thought about it, before a little guilt was coming in. “You could move in with him, and while he starts working, you could take a gap year. He can take days off, and you can go out and do things together, and you can have your gap year full of wild experiences just like you want. Then, when it’s over, you already have a plan in place.”

“Huh.” He sat back, staring a little beyond you as he spaced out for a second, and you filled the time with your own food, trying not to take too much amusement in the way his face visible flickered with various emotions as he thought about your words. “You know, I may have slightly over-reacted in my last conversation with Derek, then.”

“Well, you’ve never been known to be dramatic before.”

“I will stab you with a fork.” He mumbled, sticking his tongue out at you, and you couldn't stop the burst of laughter that escaped you because of it.

“Thanks for proving my point.” You mocked, and his eyes rolled.

“You suck. Shut up and eat your pasta.” Using his own fork, he reached across, ignoring your protests and making mocking and false threats to stab you with the instrument, before taking several chunks onto his fork, and forcing it into his mouth unattractively. “That's good pasta.”

You cringed as he spoke through his food, watching up swallow it once again, before moving back to his meal.

“That’s what you should get Noah.”

“You think?” Your body buzzed with a subtle spark of excitement just at the mention of the man’s name, and Stiles seemed to pick up on it, smirking as he stared at his plate, picking up more food with his cutlery.

“You guys are, like, really into each other, huh?”

You could only shrug, poking at the remnants of your food, the nerves of a talk you knew was coming but finally being here making your appetite shrink. That didn’t seem to matter though, because the second that you placed down your cutlery to indicate that you were finished, Stiles was reaching across, beginning to pick at your food as he’d finished his own.

“It’s okay. I mean, I know I make a lot of jokes, but you’re good for him.” His words made a smile rise, it was beyond your control, and your hand came up to rest on your cheek, leaning it against the table. “I think he’s pretty good for you, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Stiles smiled, taking all of the dishes and stacking them, moving them away from yourselves to the edge of the table. “He was talking to my dad the other day. I know my dad knows of you, and I mean, I’ve definitely told my dad some stuff about the study and you guys hanging out, but I heard Noah talking to our dad about you yesterday. Pretty sure it’s the first time, he seemed kinda’ flustered.”

“That’s so cute.” You hated how much it made your heart flutter, and a burning wave of heat rush through your body, ducking your head down to hide from Stiles how wide your grin had gotten. “I mean, we haven’t put a label on things, but, that makes me feel secure.”

“I think you bring out the best in each other. It’s nice. You’re brighter with him, and he’s bolder with you.”

“Thanks, Sti. That means a lot.” He grinned, his hand reaching out across the table again, squeezing yours when your palm was pressed to his, and silence fell between you both once again. The restaurant itself was loud, it was busy with the evening rush and the windows to the outside were now black as the night shrouded you in, but there was a bubble formed around the pair of you at this moment.

“So, are we wanting to take a look at dessert menus?”

You jumped, once again caught off-guard by your waitresses silent approach, and you swore she would make an excellent assassin. Or maybe you were just very distracted, but that didn’t matter.

“Uh, absolutely we are. I fuckin’ love the chocolate cake here.”

“Good choice.” She grinned, swiping up the plates and moving away, you were only left alone very briefly, before she was bringing back the one menu for you to look over.

With some persuasion from Stiles about sharing desserts, a request for two spare plates and a fresh set of pasta and some sides to be boxed up for Noah, your waitress was leaving, probably quite happy in the knowledge she’d be getting a very decent tip. Which she did, of course, because she was lovely, she wrapped up your spare food herself and always had a smile, offering refills but never invading your space.

By the time Stiles was paying the check and marking up a tip, you knew it was over 20%, but she’d earned it, and the two of you had become high on laughter and the simplicity of putting everything behind for just a few moments, as you’d giggled and joked like gossiping housewives over dessert.

Your sides were sore from laughter and your cheeks were aching from your smile, and for a while, there wasn’t a single thing in the world to worry about, it was simply you, and your best friend, spending quality time together that lately had been missed, as life had come crashing down.

Stiles was much more cheery as the two of you drove home. He sang to songs on the radio, and he stared out of the window each time you pulled up to a stoplight, and the tension between you both was much lighter. As the two of you got back, there was much more of a pep in his step as you walked back into the building than there had been when you’d left, and you suspected it was due to the weight that had been lifted from his shoulders.

Even if the issues were not entirely solved, Stiles had once been trapped in a maze that seemed like it had no way out, but he had now garnered a clarity, like a light leading the way, a key to the door that trapped him. He just had to build up the bravery to use it. His keys jingled in his hands as he fished them from his pocket once you had stepped from the elevator, along with the rustle of the bag of food swinging by your side each time your leg bumped it gently as you walked.

“We’re back!” You yelled, the door slamming behind you as Stiles closed it, and you jumped a little, sliding your bag down your arm and hanging it up, the paper bag with spare food stored inside rustling in your other hand.

“That was the worst ‘honey, I’m home’ I have ever heard.” Stiles teased, hanging his keys back up on the key rack.

“I don’t know, I thought it was pretty good.” Noah’s slightly deeper, slightly raspier voice appeared around the edge of the doorway, and your attention moved to him. He’d changed, swapped out from his day clothes into his pyjamas. Skinny jeans had become baggy pyjama pants and his jumper had become an old baggy t-shirt, hair a mixture between messy and flattened by the band of his headphones, with a sweet smile on his face as he reached out.

Holding the bag of food out to him, his grin stretched wider, and he stepped forwards, both hands landing on your hips instead, and you couldn't help the growth of your own beam, even as Stiles scoffed beside you. “I literally hate the pair of you, it’s disgusting.”

“Go be bitter somewhere else.” Noah mumbled, stepping a little closer, and Stiles’ shoes squeaked against the floor as he wandered away. Soft and delicate kisses were pressed to your lips, a few sweet pecks. His fingers pressed into your skin more as he held you a little tighter, pulling you a little closer by the grip on your waist, and you hummed against his lips when his head tipped to the side. His tongue dared to poke out, tracing along your lower lip slowly, and you chuckled, pulling back to look at him, your nose bumping his own when he whined a little.

“Easy, tiger. Plenty of time for that.”

“Weren’t you the one who was begging me for kisses before? I’m just holding up my end of a deal.” He teased, your cheeks heating, but he didn’t get a chance to notice before his lips were already moving back in to capture your own in a loving and heated kiss, and you couldn't help but return it. Despite the smile on his face and the matching one on your own, slow kisses were shared between you both, your free hand coming up to tangle in the hairs at the base of his neck. “I laid out some clothes you can wear to sleep in.”

“The comfy green sweatpants?”

“Well, you were so fond of them last time.” His smile became a smirk, the images associated with the night he was talking about flashing behind your eyes, ad the phantom feeling of lips tracing over your skin sent a shake along your spine, goosebumps rising on your skin. It seemed that he knew the effect he had on you, and the care he’d given you afterwards when offering you the clothes the first time. “Was thinkin’ we could watch a movie?”

“Definitely, but I have a little work to do first.”

“That sucks,” He tipped your face up, pressing a few kisses along your jaw, and your knees went a little weak as he did, your hand lightning against the handle of the bag as you gripped it. “You sure? You could leave it ‘til tomorrow.”

“You’re playing dirty.” He only hummed, teeth teasing a little over the skin of your jaw, and your breath was shaky as it came out. Finding a little strength, your hand slipped from his hair to his chest, pushing him backwards, and there was an adorable pout on his face as he looked at you. “Go listen to music, or something. I’ll work for as long as it takes you to eat your food, okay?”

“Fine, but I’m choosing the movie too, and since you’re insisting on being boring, you don’t get a say in it.” He leaned back in, stealing a final peck from your lips as you attempted to complain, noises silenced and he walked away from you with a cheeky grin, back toward the living room. Taking your folder from your bag, the pen and highlighter you’d brought still clipped to the top of it, and you left it out on the kitchen counter, the bag of food that you’d brought following it.

They both sat there, in the few minutes that it took you to slip away to Noah’s room and change, leaving your clothes folded on his desk and your shoes tucked down on the floor beside his chair. When you returned, Stiles was in his comfy clothes too, and he was picking through the bag of food you’d brought home, already unpacking it as his brother sat on the couch.

“You know, that food wasn’t intended for you.”

“Yeah, but, I’m hungry again.” He shrugged, peeling back the folded tinfoil edges and lifting the cardboard off. Swiping the carton out and away from him, you turned your back on him, taking the bag too and turning away from him to face the counters behind yourself. “Please, I’m hungry.”

“You’re greedy. You have snacks. This isn’t for you.”

“When did you become such a mom?” He grouched, reaching past your head and into the cupboards in front of you as he grinned, taking out a couple of bags of chips and a jar of dip from the fridge. When he left your peripherals, you no longer knew what he was doing, instead, focusing on sourcing a plate and beginning to serve up the meal from various cartons. Scraping out the noodles onto the plate, and arranging the dry elements around the source, you were proud of the presentation.

The noise of random reality show TV chatter was filling the background, the crunching of Stiles snacking harmonising with it. Grabbing a set of cutlery from the drawer and balancing them on the edge of the plate, you spun around. Rather than two heads at the couch, there was just one, that of Noah, and Stiles was sitting at the kitchen counter.

Your file was open in front of him, the warm joy filling you changing to cold fear so quickly that a wave of weakening nausea washed over you, and the plate in your hand wobbled, the cutlery dropping away to the floor and clanging loudly against the wooden slats. “Stiles, no!”

“What?”

He jumped, just as much as Noah did as he flinched at the shout and the sharp sound, and you reached out to put the plate down before your grip went so weak that you actually dropped it. “What the hell are you doing?”

Noah was on his feet, and Stiles looked like a deer caught in the headlights, his hunched form straightening out as he went stuff, and his eyes were wide, vulnerable shock on his face as he stared at you. “Well, I mean-” His eyes flicked down to the file, and he gulped as he swallowed. “We talked, about stuff, and you said there were notes in your file but you couldn't tell me, I thought you meant that in an ‘I won’t say it out loud but if you happened to read it then that’s okay, ha ha ha’ sort of thing!”

“What?” You all but hissed the word incredulously, and he shrunk under your stare.

“You didn’t mean that?” Stiles’ voice was a little squeaky now, and as he approached, Noah seemed to realise what he was reading, his own eyes going wider as he snatched the file away from his twin. Silence fell across the room, a pit forming in your stomach as your hands trembled a little, and you wondered just what pages Stiles had read before you’d stopped him, and he twisted in his seat to face Noah. “You have secret anger pent up against me?”

“What?” Noah had a shocked look on his face, one that morphed between fear, to humiliation, to anger, before a fiery gaze was turning to you. “You wrote that?”

“No!” Your heartbeat hard, thudding against the inside of your chest with a force that almost hurt, and you wrung your hands together. “I mean, not in those exact words?”

“Well, then what the fuck did you write?”

“Uh, just that you basically fucking hate your own brother!” Stiles interjected, a hurt look on the younger twins face, and you knew he was doing it on purpose but he was making everything that much worse. “You hate me, you feel like I abandoned you, you feel like I don’t care!”

“That’s not true-”

“It's not? Then why does it feel like everything makes more sense now that it’s out there, huh?” It was Stiles’ turn to yell, your ears ringing from the volume and you were scared by the stare they were both fixing one another with, pure fire burning in both of their eyes as each refused to back down from the other. “I knew something was wrong, I fucking knew it! You never talked to me about this stuff, you never talk to me about anything anymore!”

“I’m the one that doesn’t talk to you?”

“Yeah!” Stiles stood, hands on his hips as Noah’s chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, both of their faces growing a little redder from the heat of anger, and you could barely breathe.

“You never talk to me! You just started your stupid fucking podcast, where you broadcast your feeling out to everyone in the world except for me, and you shut me out!” Noah burst, seemingly regretting his words, and hurt etched its way onto Stiles face for a second, his shoulders, slumping slightly, and his hands fell flat at his sides.

“That’s what you think? That I would rather talk to everyone but you?” Noah shrugged, and a flicker of pain amongst the betrayal and anger on Stiles’ face made your heart break behind your ribs, before yet another blow was delivered from your sarcastic friend. “You think that I’m the one that did this to us, like it wasn't you that created this rift? How could you not tell me about all of these problems you have with me, that I never even knew about?”

“What fucking pages did you read?” He tore open the file still clenched in his hands, sheets becoming warped and crumpled under his grip, and as he stared down at them, eyes flicking over the page, there was a range of emotions travelling so fast across his features you could barely decipher them. Silence hung heavy, and he flicked rapidly between the pages, barely taking in the information but flicking between everything you’d highlighted, everything that seemed important during a fit of rage, and you could barely think of anything but regulating your breathing and slowing your heart, never mind how to stop him.

It all became irrelevant, however, when his gaze came back to find your own.

“How could you?” The anger was turned back to you, furious eyes with a shine that only indicated tears, and you tensed up, feeling stuck in the moment, like you were choking on the breath in your throat. “How could you? You said we were just talking, you said- some of that stuff- you lied! You said it wasn’t for the study!”

“I-I didn’t mean for it to-”

“To what? To ruin everything? You’re a fucking liar, look what you’ve done!” There was venom behind his words, and you knew he was hurting, but it still stung. The look in his eyes wasn’t like anything you’d ever seen before, it wasn’t defensive or anxious, it was pure pain and anger, and you hated that you were the cause of it.

“Don’t fuckin’ yell at her, this isn’t her fault, Noah!”

Whipping back to face his brother, Noah scoffed, rolling his eyes and your arms wrapped loosely around yourself to stop the trembling you felt coming on. “It isn’t her fault? It’s all her fault! None of this would have come to light, none of this would be happening if it wasn’t for her and this stupid study!”

“You have all this rage towards me! Do you think that would have stayed a secret for our entire lives? Do you think that would have just stayed tucked away neatly in a box and wouldn’t have affected us?” Stiles’ arms fell flat to his side, the wild gestures you were so used to seeing simply going limp as his shoulders sagged. “It’s not her fault you feel this way, it was bound to come out at some point.”

The shouting fell quiet, and there was a tension in the room that made you feel like if you even so much as flinched something would shatter and splinter.

“You know, when we were growing up it was the opposite way around.” Stiles’ voice was a little hoarse from, the shouting, and he sniffed back tears, avoiding everybody’s gaze as he stared at the floor. “You were that guy when we were in high school. You were the one everybody thought was cool, do you know that? So many girls asked me about you, nobody ever asked about me. You were that mysterious guy that didn’t talk constantly like his annoying brother, with the fixer-upper bike that made everyone think you were so fucking cool, and the attitude and the tattoos and everything else! You were that guy, and I was the dorky brother.”

“You never told me that, Stiles.”

“Oh, rich of you to talk about honesty now.” You’d rarely ever heard such malice coming from Stiles, he was like a ray of sunshine that was currently encased entirely by shadows, and you could barely breathe for the way it felt to be trapped here right now. “The difference, Noah, is that I never held that against you. I always loved you, and supported you, and I never let the way I felt about myself become anger towards you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Noah was tense again, your fingernails were digging into your palms so hard you swore they might cut right through, and everything was silent.

The first bullet had been fired, the first real shot of the argument had been thrown, and while you could see regret playing on Stiles’ face, there was no way that he could take back what he’d said now. It was out there, for everyone to hear and know, and the way Noah’s face was twisting from guilt to anger again was enough to suggest that he knew exactly what it meant.

“What is that supposed to mean, Stiles?” It was more of a growl now, tension rising once again like a hand around your throat and a stone in your gut that was just getting heavier.

“Shit, Noah! It means that you do this to your damn self, are you happy now?” Noah’s nostrils flared a little, and Stiles ran a hand through his hair, the gelled style he’d done for the evening falling out into an unruly mess. “You have anxiety, I get it, but I wanted to be my own person in college. You were fine in high school, you had your own little group of friends, and you had your bike, and your ego, and you were fine. Then when the loving adorations of stoners and cheerleaders fell away, you caved in, like their validation was all that mattered!”

“That’s not true!”

“That is true!” Stiles fought back, Noah’s jaw hanging like he’d had more to say, but had been cut off. “It is true, and you know it. Why can’t you see what everyone else can? That you’re a fucking great person, Noah, with so much to offer. You’re funny and you’re smart and you’re a great brother, normally, but you can’t see it for yourself. You rely on everyone else to validate you and make you feel special, when you’re special all on your own. You hate me for making you feel less, when you just can’t see how you’re worth so much more. You isolate yourself, and you judge yourself, and you make yourself into an outcast.” You took a deep breath, the kind of revelations you’d never had the strength to even think about finally voiced into the open air, and it felt a little easier to breathe once there was nothing else to be hidden. “Stop hating me because you can’t love yourself.”

“I don’t hate you, Stiles.”

“Yeah? Because right now, it kinda’ feels like you do.”

With that, Stiles was leaving, the slamming of his bedroom door to follow felt like a crack down the middle of the frozen room, and you let out your breath slowly, trying to shake off the feeling you had. It was nauseous, sitting in your stomach and twisting everything up until you practically felt dizzy, but you knew it must be nothing on how Noah felt. Reaching a single hand out, you placed it gently onto his shoulder, his back still to you, tensed from his position, and he jerked away.

When he turned to face you, it was with a deep scowl, and red-rimmed eyes that still shone with unshed tears, and a cold feeling radiated out from the centre of your chest in bursts. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.”

“Noah..”

“No!” He stepped back, eyes cold as they looked at you and it was enough to make you freeze where you were, once again shocked to the point of immobility. He was trembling, a hint of fear, presumably about losing his brother after the argument they’d just had, but that too was rapidly washed away when he wiped at his face, tears finally shed barely getting a chance before they were gone. “You did this.”

“I didn’t mean to, Noah.”

“You fucking lied to me. None of this is real.” He muttered, letting out a ragged and humourless laugh. “It’s all so fucking fake.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do!” His head was shaking, and there was a feeling you’d never felt before settling into your gut, a horrid combination of heartbreak and fear as you watched him. “You never accepted me for who I was, all you’ve done is try to change me since the day we met. You force me to socialise with people who aren’t really my friends, and to go to places that spike my anxiety and you all it pushing my comfort zones but now I get it, you’re just changing me. You fucking used me for your grade, you used me for fun, you’re so fucking fake.”

“That’s really what you think of me?” It was like stepping into a bath of iced water, a cold feeling that moved from head to toe, electricity in the worst way possible, nothing exciting or new but unsettling familiar and terrifying as it moved all the way to the tips of your fingers in sparks. “You think I’d use you, you think I’m fake?”

“Oh, c’mon,” He waved around, pointing to everything from the clothes on your body to the plate of food going cold on the counter. “This isn’t you. You aren’t warm jumpers on the couch and reheating food, staying in for the night and listening to music. You’re all popularity and prom queen and parties, you’re bullshit. You’re everything I hate.”

“I don’t think you mean that, Noah. I don’t believe it. I think you’re hurting, and-”

“You think I care what you believe? You think I care at all? Stop trying to analyse me, stop trying to manipulate me right now.” He was glaring, heat in his eyes before something like clarity passed over his vision, and you saw the shift in him as he relaxed a little. “You know what? Just stop altogether. Stop trying to change me, stop your fucking study, stop trying to be a part of my life. I don’t want any of it anymore.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” His arms crossed over his chest, and you tried to stand your ground, copying his motions, until the pair of you were simply stuck, staring one another down. “I mean it.”

“I don’t think you do.”

“I don’t care.” That stung a little, and the calmness of his voice as he spoke made your faith shake, the anger that had been replaced by clarity was wearing you down. “Get the fuck out of my apartment, and get the fuck out of my life. I was doing perfectly fine before I met you.”

“You call secret anger to your brother and unresolved issues ‘perfectly fine’?”

He had a flash of anger again, that and a second of vulnerability, shock at your words as you finally threw a blow at him, but he took it strong, tongue clicking inside of his mouth with snark. “Maybe I was a loner, maybe I didn’t have many friends, but I sure as hell didn’t need you to come in here and try to fix me, because I was never broken!”

“I know that, and I never tried to fix you.”

“You tried to change me!” He yelled back, having at least the decency to look a little ashamed of himself when you flinched, but his stance didn’t change.

“I never tried to change you, I just wanted to help you.”

“Well I don’t want your help anymore, I just want you to get out of my life.” He took a deep breath to follow it, and you were left silent, unsure of what to say. “I mean it. This was fun for a while, while the illusion was still up, but now it’s just a problem, so just leave me alone.”

That struck a little deeper, and your arms feel from their locked position over your chest. You could feel the look on your face change from anger to hurt and you couldn’t help it, because you felt hollow and small as he stared at you. The confirmation came, that your relationship had never even been such a thing to him, it had simply been fun, he thought you were using him and figured he might as well gain something from it too.

The feeling you held weren’t reciprocated, the way he felt wasn’t real, and you took a shaky breath as he continued to stare without remorse to follow his words.

No regret, no back-tracking, no changes. He meant it.

And that was a whole lot worse.

“Fine.”

You moved past him, sure to swerve around his body as you ducked into the corridor, his eyes following you and Stiles’ bedroom door opening again when he peered out into the hall, but you didn’t want to see him either, and it was your turn to slam the door shut.

You felt weak, fingers grasping at the covers as you tried not to cry, because once those tears came you knew it would be a long time before they stopped, and you weren’t ready to deal with that just yet. Your clothes from the day were still neatly folded over the back of his desk chair, seconds later thrown haphazardly across his bed as you struggled to strip yourself of the clothes you’d changed into.

You were shaking, the struggle to undo the knot you’d tied at your waist only made pain turn to frustration, one of your nails tearing as you pulled at the threads, finally coming undone. Your throat was stinging raw from choking back how you felt, and with shaking hands, you folded up the jumper and sweats, leaving them out on the desk, and trying to tug on your clothes. There was shouting behind the door again, muffled voices that weren’t nearly as loud or angry as they had been but still holding rage, and everything felt like it was falling apart.

There was a pang of gnawing guilt in your gut, one you knew was illogical because this wasn’t your fault but it was present nonetheless, and it was already starting to feel like something only pints of ice cream and alcohol could fix. As soon as you’d gathered your things, the door was open again, the voices went quiet, two almost identical faces turning to stare at you.

One blank, the other filled with pity, and you didn’t want to see either right now.

“You don’t have to leave, it’s real late, you can take my bed for the night,” Stiles mumbled, taking a step closer and blocking his brother from your vision, and you were forced to look up to him. He was much a reflection of how you felt, red eyes and sore skin and a frown that felt like it would never leave.

“You know, Stiles, I love you, but with all due respect, I cannot imagine anything worse than staying here tonight.”

He shrugged, lips twitching minutely at one edge. “That seems fair. Do you want me to drive you home?”

You still wanted to cry, and your sniffle made that obvious, but you were still trying to be strong. You meant nothing to Noah, that much was clear, and you didn’t want him to know just how much he meant to you at this moment. Wiping at your eyes when it became apparent the tears weren’t going to leave, you sighed, shaking your head at how nice Stiles was still being, despite it all. “No, I don’t. I’ll drive myself, I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t be reckless, just because you’re mad.”

You ignored Noah, Stiles turning to shoot him a very fast glare, and you moved beyond the pair of them. Swiping your folder from the table, a few sheets were loose, and you didn’t care for them in that time, you didn’t care for any of it, everything you held becoming creased as you grabbed at them. Your bag was still sitting neatly on the coat rack, and with a slightly harsher pull on the zipper, you yanked it open, shoving the notes inside, before swiping it from the hook and letting it fall to your shoulder.

Patting down the pocket of your bag, you couldn't stop the soft whimper that left you when you couldn't find your keys, even after rooting through the purse. You checked all of your pockets too, and as you failed to find them, you were feeling more and more like you were trapped, a caged animal, frightened and alone and the stress made you snap. “Shit! Where are my fucking keys?”

The tears were there now, your voice cracking as you spoke and you didn’t bother to wipe them away because it was obvious, but that didn’t make you feel any less judged by the two sets of eyes on you. A nimble finger and thumb reached past, plucking them from the key rack that your mind had been too foggy to remember hanging them up on, and dropping them into your palm when you held it up. You wanted to small, a silent thank you to Stiles for helping you, but it felt more like a grimace, and your sob was just as apparent when you took a breath. “You sure you don’t want me to drive, or call you a cab?”

“I’m sure, Stiles.”

“(Y/N)..”

Just the sound of your name from his lips, surrounded by so much pity, made your blood boil. “Don’t!” He jumped a little, one of your fingers pointing at him for a second as you glared, and it was your turn to finally be angry. Despite the shell he was putting on, something you knew to be fake from so long of getting to know him, he dared to look guilty, finally, some remorse showing through, and you shook your head at him. “Just don’t.”

There were tears on your face and you knew you looked a mess, the feel of the water dripping from your jaw, the stinging in your eyes and the way you could barely breathe, but you glared a second longer anyway. Your gaze softened as you moved to Stiles, a silent conversation held, before you were gone.

The hallways felt colder, the slam of the door as you’d left made you feel at least a little proud, and the chill through your veins made it easier to breathe. You were being crushed, torn apart from the inside out by how you felt, but the adrenaline of it all was just enough to keep you walking forwards for now, so you followed your feet, and let them guide you to the elevator, hoping it was enough to get you home.

#void stiles #void stiles au #void stiles x reader #void stiles/reader #SITS #sun in the shadows #dylan o'brien #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien/reader #dylan obrien #dylan obrien void stiles #dylan obrien teen wolf

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

ANOTHER TITLE

a/n: personally i’ve been waiting for this part to come since the beginning lmao, so here is the proposal finally!! it’s like so fluffy, almost disgustingly, but i just couldn’t help myself

pairing: Sebastian Stan X Reader

word count: 1.8k

This fic is part of the LITTLE ONE series, but can be read as a simple oneshot as well! Find the masterpost of the series HERE!

masterlist

(gif is not mine)

You’ve been eating like a hormonal teenage boy these past weeks and you know it needs to stop and held under control, but you just can’t help yourself. It’s like your stomach has become a black hole that needs to absorb any and every food that’s home, you’re constantly snacking beside the large portions you eat three times a day, there’s always something you’re craving, the shopping list on the fridge is changing every hour because you think of something else to eat.

Luckily, you haven’t gained that much weight besides the noticeable bump that’s your baby in your belly, seems like your little girl does need all the food and she uses it instead of letting it all get stuck on other parts of your body, so you’re fine for just now.

Sitting on the couch, watching some kind of soap opera, you’re snacking on an entire jar of Nutella this time, shamelessly stuffing your mouth with the sweet, thick stuff, pretty sure that nothing will be left of it by the end of the day. Sebastian is away again for his second filming that was scheduled even before you found out you were pregnant and he messed around with it a little, shortening it once again and you just visited him last weekend. Now that you are pushing the end of your second trimester, your bump is quite evident, not something you can hide easily, so when you showed up on set with your boyfriend, you didn’t even try to cover it up, knowing well someone would spot it sooner or later. However everyone on the team has been so respectful, keeping the news to themselves, because no headlines have been made about your pregnancy just yet, keeping the secret even longer. To be honest, you’re surprised it hasn’t been discovered sooner, you thoughr someone would catch you out and about and see right through your baggy clothes and sell the news to the tabloids, but now you are in the sixth month and no one knows a thing.

Your phone chimes next to you, a text from Seb and you hum to yourself happily, putting the jar aside to grab the phone and see what he wrote.

“How are my two favorite girls doing? Miss you a lot!”

He even attached a silly selfie of himself in hair and makeup, he looks adorable with the clips in his hair and some kind of patches under his eyes. Like a real beauty guru.

Grabbing the Nutella, you place it on top of your bump as you move the phone to a lower angle and take a selfie that makes your bump look even bigger, the jar on top and you grinning widely at the camera as you snap a picture and send it to him with your reply.

“Enjoying our third snack of the day at 11 am! Miss you too, can’t wait to see you next week!”

He reads the message right away, his reply coming just seconds later.

“Look at that bump! You look gorgeous, baby! Can’t wait to see you too, have fun with your sister today, love you lots Xx”

Since he has left you’ve been trying to keep yourself busy so you don’t miss him too much and you’re also using these weeks to spend as much time with your friends and family as possible, knowing well once the baby arrives you won’t be going out that much for a while, nestled up in your home, learning the ropes of being a mother. Today you are meeting up with your sister, she is taking you out to this alleged new, quite fancy restaurant you haven’t heard about before. She claimed that it’s really exclusive, so you don’t have to worry about being photographed or bothered, but she also told you to glam yourself up for the occasion. It’s gonna be some nice sister time, something you haven’t been able to do in a long time.

You take the assignment seriously, doing your hair and makeup the best you can and you decide to put on a flowy maxi dress with a soft, knitted cardigan, very much going for a kind of cottage core vibe. Leaving just in time you text your sister that you’re on your way, putting the address into the GPS and heading out of town, because the place is near the beach. She texts you back that she’ll meet you there and so your short little road trip begins. Sitting in the car you’re listening to one of the many playlists Sebastian has made for you and the baby, he likes to play them at home, humming the songs under his breath, hoping to start educating your little girl in the field of music as early as possible. You have to admit he has a good taste, so you don’t mind it at all.

As you follow the instructions of the GPS you find the place that’s supposed to be your destination, but it doesn’t seem like a restaurant at all, more like a mansion of some kind, a very expensive looking if you are being honest. There are no other cars, no sign of other people so as you park at the front you call your sister.

“Hey, I’m right outside, but I have a feeling I’m at the wrong place? It doesn’t look like a restaurant.”

“Oh, don’t worry! You’re at the right place! I’m a little late, but I’ll be there soon, just go inside, they are expecting us!” she assures you, but you’re still not convinced.

Ending the call you approach the entrance and for your surprise the heavy doors open before you could even knock or find the bell. A man in a tuxedo appears in front of you, smiling warmly at you.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

“Uh, yeah,” you nod, a little shy and confused.

“Please, follow me,” prompts as you walk inside and the two of you start crossing the grandiose hall of the building.

At this point you are sure it’s not a restaurant, but you have no idea why your sister wanted you to come here. You want to ask the man if you’re even at the right place, but he called you by your name so he was expecting you, this has to be the place where you’re supposed to be. More and more questions pile up in your head as you follow him out to the backyard, a gigantic, flower-filled garden that’s straight out of a fairytale, a path leading down to the beach where there’s a dreamy little pergola with even more flowers and fairy lights and as your eyes fall on the figure standing in the middle of the pergola, you immediately gasp.

Because surrounded with all the flowers and lights, there is Sebastian standing in an elegant suit, smiling widely at you as the man next to you helps you down the stairs before you start walking down the path to him.

Tears are flooding your eyes, because you already know what it is, but you can’t believe it’s really happening. He was so sneaky, he got home from filming earlier and even made your sister play along to surprise you, he is such a romantic soul, no one can change your mind about that!

“You’re not in Atlanta!” you tell him when he is finally close enough to hear you. He chuckles sweetly, taking a few steps forward to meet you sooner, his hands finding your waist as you cup his face in your hands, pulling him down to kiss you right away.

“No, I’m not, baby,” he smirks, his hands sliding to your belly, gently stroking the sides as you wipe your tears away, but there’s no use, because the next moment, he steps back a little, just enough so that he can get down on one knee and you’re crying again when you see him pull out a little velvety box from his pocket.

You were expecting it. You knew he would propose before the baby arrives, but you just didn’t know when and how, but he surely outdone himself with his little surprise.

“My Love, Y/N,” he starts after a deep breath, his hands finding yours and you can feel the shaking, but you’re not sure if it’s coming from yours or his. Probably both. “I’ve spent the best years of my life with you and I haven’t been the same man since the day I met you, but in the best way possible. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and I’m so lucky that you did not only choose to be with me, but you are now carrying our baby under your heart as well, out little one who is equal parts of you and me, though you’re doing ninety percent of the job here,” he adds with a chuckle, making you laugh through your tears. “I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you the moment you were so badass on your first date, kissing me when I didn’t have the balls to do the first step, but I’m glad you did. I fell in love with you right then and there and the same thing has been happening every day, over and over again since then. I know we went a little out of order with everything we had planned,” he smirks, glancing down at your bump before his blue eyes find yours again, “but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so I have a question for you.”

He pops the lid of the box open, a gorgeous, brilliant diamond ring coming to your vision, sparkling in the warm afternoon Sun so perfectly, it takes your breath away.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” he asks, clearly nervous, even though there’s no doubt about your answer, you’ve told him plenty of times before that you want to marry him, but still, it’s a huge moment in both your lives.

“Yes, yes, yes!” you nod eagerly as you both start laughing in relief, his shaky fingers tagging the ring out of the box and sliding it to your finger gently, before he brings your hand to his mouth and kisses the ring.

Then he finally stands up and you basically throw yourself into his arms, kissing him like your life depends on it as he kisses you back with just as much force.

“I love you and I can’t wait to call you my wife,” he sighs pleased against your lips.

“Mm, another title in the line? Girlfriend, baby mama, fiancé and then wife,” you giggle giddily.

“You missed one,” he cocks an eyebrow at you slyly.

“Which one?”

“Love of my life.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan blurb #sebastian stan oneshot #sebastian stan one shot #sebastian stan fiction #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader

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rosy-cheekx · 3 years

Note

for the kiss prompts... 16 with jonmartin?

Combined this New Years Kiss prompt with @ombreblossom‘s prompt for “a giggly kiss" and an anon prompt: “I wish you would write a fic where martin scoops Jon into his arms and Jon realizes how strong he is” damn if i dont deliver

Just a good vibes fic while I’m dying over the pre-finals stress. Check on your friendly neighborhood psychology students, especially juniors. They’re a-struggling.

Enjoy!!

Resolutions, 2.2k

CW: alcohol

“Happy New Year’s Eve!”

Jon wasn’t sure what he expected of Tim’s house. Maybe something haphazardly designed, with takeaway menus pinned to the fridge? Maybe the epitome of the bachelor pad?

He definitely hadn’t expected the open floorplan, spotlessly cleaned and well-organized, with furniture complementary to the walls and each other. Warm light spilled from every lamp, with purple and silver decorations inscribed with “2015” and “Happy New Years” dangling from almost every surface.

“You can close your mouth now, buddy,” Tim elbowed him lightly. “I keep my spaces clean, what can I say?”

Jon clamped his teeth back together and held out a bottle of white wine mechanically. “I brought this. Er, sorry I’m late.”

Tim shook his head jovially, taking Jon’s coat and scarf along with the wine, before handing the bottle back to him. “Party’s just getting started. We’ve been drinking a bit, playing some games.” He winked before nudging him toward the couches, where Sasha’s dark curls were just visible. “Go on, I’ll be right behind. They’ll be happy to see you!”

“Jon!” The man in question jumped and craned his neck to see Martin—or, more rightly, his hand—from over the edge of the couch cushions. “Good, you’re here! Sash and Tim are kicking my ass in Scrabble.”

Jon approached the living room, spying Martin, sitting on the floor in front of a coffee table, another bottle of white wine between him and Sasha, along with the aforementioned Scrabble board. “Scrabble isn’t a team sport?”

“Hey, Jon. Ooh, more wine, thank god, this one’s just gone.” Sasha scrunched her nose with her greeting, reaching for the bottle in his hands. “And no, it’s not,” she continued as she spun a corkscrew between her fingers. “But Tim is missing like half the tiles so we can’t play four.”

“Tim’n’Sash ganged up on me,” Martin mumbled, the edges of his words softened, Jon assumed, by wine. “I didn’t even—I’m new to research, issnot fair.”

Sasha pulled the cork from the wine as Tim leapt over the cushion of the suede couch, landing neatly next to her. “I told you, you would get Jon when he showed up, which evens it out anyways. Stop pouting.”

“Am not.”

Jon folded his legs beneath his hips as he sat, examining the board and taking a proffered glass from Sasha’s hands. “Don’t worry, Martin,” he offered, smiling gently at the man, taking in the flush of his face and the rolled sleeves of his dress shirt—maroon, he filed away. Looks good with his hair. “We’ve just got to last long enough before Tim gets drunk or bored and starts to throw letters at us. Did he tell you that’s why they’re missing?”

Martin laughed aloud and the noise caught Jon off guard. It was a low, warm sound, loud in a way that suited the man. Jon smiled to himself, proud.

“I do-I do not,” spluttered Tim, pointedly ignoring Sasha’s raised eyebrow. “…I stopped that when we were down to one W.”

Jon nudged Martin, gesturing for the block of letters in front of him. “You’ll see. Our turn?”

Eight rounds, three glasses of wine, and a dodge from the letter E later, Jon was feeling properly comfortable. They were all properly buzzed, if not a little tipsy, and the clock ticked steadily closer to midnight. Martin and Jon had continued to be partners for all the other games they played: Charades, Pictionary, and a silly game Sasha had made up where they had to describe concepts like colors or sounds, without using words directly related to them. Martin had carried their team for that game, explaining through an embarrassed blush that he liked to read a lot of poetry. Jon elected to ignore that statement, though he was grateful for the edge it gave them; his competitive streak was willing to ignore a multitude of sins.

At 11:15, Tim flipped through the television programs, searching for one doing a proper countdown. One of the BBC Music channels was playing a Countdown playlist, with an eclectic variety of music on the playlist if the presented queue was any indication. Remote in hand, Tim spun on his heel, lip-syncing voraciously to the song, some dreadfully cheesy rock ballad. In turn, he focused on Sasha, then Jon, then Martin, hand outstretched to each of them in a mockery of longing. When he turned his attention back to Sasha, the chorus swelled and she took his hand, swinging herself under his arm with a grin on her face. Jon settled into the couch cushions, a warmth running through his chest as he watched the two spin with each other in a pseudo-dance. Martin sipped his glass of water on the other end of the couch, seemingly as happy as Jon to just watch.

As the song ended, the rock ballad was replaced by a pop song, one Jon didn’t know but it was apparent everyone else did. Tim sang along in a horrendous shout-sing, and Sasha grabbed Martin’s hand, tugging on it lightly. Martin rolled his eyes, resisting briefly as Sasha wordlessly argued with him, but her will was stronger and he laughed softly as she pulled him to his feet and jumped around to the beat, air-guitaring in circles around him. Eventually, Martin closed his eyes and leant into the dance, reminding Jon vaguely of his club days with Georgie, the dozens of hot, sweaty young adults without a care in the world of who saw them dance. And, most importantly, dance badly. Martin was truly terrible, but Jon was unable to tear his gaze away. He wasn’t matching the tempo and he knew about half the words as he joined Tim in singing the chorus, but there was something about him that was absolutely intoxicating, more than the wine Jon had consumed.

The Beatles played next, and of course Jon knew them. They had been his grandmother’s favorite, and for good reason. He hadn’t even realized he was singing under his breath to Come Together until Tim’s TV remote was shoved under his lips unceremoniously. Without thinking, he accepted the faux-microphone and joined the trio, standing from the couch to the coffee table in socked feet. As he sang, voice growing in intensity, he swung his arms wide, the images of clubs and dancers and stages at the forefront of his mind.

When the song ended, Jon was breathless, and the smattered applause from his friends brought him out of his reverie. He blushed, suddenly acutely aware of the blood rushing through his body and the heart that was pumping it. he handed the remote to Tim and moved to step off the table, chewing on his lip as he did so. Before he could make the awkward step to the floor below, he yelped as he was suddenly swept off balance. The spinning of his mind, thanks to the alcohol, confused him briefly before he realized he hadn’t fallen and was actually being clutched in a pair of strong arms, bridal-style. Martin’s arms, to be precise. His brow was furrowed in concentration, though he held Jon like he weighed almost nothing.

“Ah, you said you didn’t want to fall.” Martin shrugged and bounced Jon in his arms slightly as if that explained everything.

He had? “Mmm-thank you Mar’n,” Jon murmured, eyes unsure where to land and deciding on a loose curl that hung over Martin’s forehead. He wanted to pull it, Jon realized, and he did so, gently, giving the coil a tug, and giggled to himself as it sprang back in place. Martin was a lot stronger than Jon gave him credit for, and warmer too, though that may have been the alcohol. It was nice, being held like that, and Jon felt himself nestle towards the heat of Martin’s barreled chest without thinking about it.

Tim and Sasha, to Jon’s relief, hadn’t seemed to notice, deep in conversation. Martin deposited Jon safely on the couch and slumped next to him, unbuttoning his collar a little more and turning his attention quite intently to his phone.

The music carried on, and Jon was pulled into a few more dances with Sasha and Tim but felt himself gravitating towards Martin as the hour pursued, making excuses to scoot closer on the couch. A few videos of kittens later, he was properly next to him, watching Tim and Sasha tango to Britney Spears and the clock that ticked steadily towards midnight.

As 11:50 hit, Tim lowered the volume and flopped next to Jon, sweat beading on his forehead. “Alright, mates, resolutions for 2015, go.” He popped a grape from the platter that rested on the chair nearby. “Mine’s to get outside more, I haven’t been able to get out of London much. Maybe go backpacking, see the world.”

Sasha shrugged and perched on the armrest of the couch, feet resting on the cushion next to Tim. “Patience, I think. Listening to people better.”

Jon surprised himself by speaking. “Work-life balance,” he mumbled, dragging his eyes from the coffee table to meet Tim’s curious expression. “It’s not like Elias cares much what the researchers do.”

“Hell yeah, mate!” Tim clapped him on the back. “Maybe you’ll finally come dancing with me. You’ve clearly got the skills.” He turned his attention to the final member of their party. “Marto? What about you?”

Martin shrugged, lips pursed in thought. “Mm, be more honest with people, I think.”

Tim nodded excitedly. “Oh yes, I would love to see Martin Blackwood, The Director’s Cut.”

The ginger shrugged. “I don’t think you’re missing much, honestly, just maybe a little more negativity, a little more feeling.”

“Regardless,” Tim waved the thought away. “Can’t wait to see it.” He cast his eyes to the ceiling and crossed his arms under his chest. “What do you think the illustrious Elias Bouchard does on holiday? I swear that man lives and breathes Magnus Institute.”

Sasha grinned. “Bet he wears nothing but a silk robe, with the Magnus owl embroidered on the chest, skulking around the house and drinking scotch, grumbling about budgets and paranormal stories.”

“Bet he has a cat he strokes menacingly while watching the stock market,” Martin added, sighing. “We can agree he’s a total Tory, right?”

“Oh, for sure,” came a chorus of affirmation.

The group sat in comfortable silence as an upbeat love song played on the television. Jon’s eyes were starting to feel heavy, like how they felt when he got them dilated at the optometrist. Midnight couldn’t come soon enough.

“Hey, guys?” The voice from his right was quiet, hesitant. Martin’s eyes were glassy, phone abandoned on his lap. “I’m really happy to be here, with you all.”

“Martin!” Sasha and Tim cooed happily, rushing to coat his words in affirmations and gentle kindness, sweet gifts with which to end the year. Jon opted for a quieter approach, not the verbally affectionate kind of man, placing a hand over Martin’s gently, squeezing his wrist once. He wasn’t even sure if Martin noticed it—he didn’t move his hand before Tim was shouting, hauling them up as 11:59 flashed on the screen and a countdown began to shout its way from 59 on the screen.

“Come on!” Tim crowed. “My mum always said you can’t stand still when midnight hits, or it’s bad luck. Something about starting the year moving.” Tim led them all in a sort of march, stomping forward and back, spinning in circles, and swinging each of his friends under his arms, though Martin had to duck rather considerably. All four of the research staff members were laughing through their words as they tried to add their discordant shouting to the last few numbers on the TV.

“Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Tim grabbed Sasha around her waist and dipped her low as he kissed her, both grinning into the kiss. Jon chuckled and shook his head at the pair, before feeling the hand that was still on his tug gently.

“I-I said I wanted to be more honest,” Martin murmured, voice low in his throat. Jon nodded wordlessly, indicating for him to go on. His words seemed caught somehow.

“If I’m honest,” Martin continued, eyes flitting over Jon’s face before landing back on his eyes. “I really want to kiss you.”

Jon giggled, actually giggled at Martin’s words, the boldness of the wine piloting his voice for a moment. “What are you waiting for?”

So Martin did, one hand on Jon’s waist and one tangled in the hair behind his ears, pressing Jon close and up towards his lips. It was a warm kiss, soft and gentle, and Jon’s head was spinning, not from the buzz or the dancing but from the four points of contact he had with MartinMartinMartin Blackwood is kissing me and Martin’s hand is on my waist and my hand is on Martin’s cheek and his skin is so soft I think I could kiss him forever. Screw 2015; I’ll come back for 2016 and just kiss Martin for a year—

Martin pulled away, smiling down at Jon with a look of utter adoration. “Happy New Year,” he breathed. “Here’s to 2015.”

“H-Happy New Year,” Jon returned, ducking his head shyly at the gaze Martin was casting on him. “Let’s hope it’s a good one.”

#tma #tma fanfic #jmart #timsasha #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #sasha james #tim stoker #jonmartin #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fanfic #fanfic to a tea #cw alcohol #new years eve #new years eve party

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squiggledrop · 4 years

Text

Day 11: Christmas Party - Spencer x Reader

Masterlist

Ficmas 2020

Listen to my Christmas Playlist!

Summary: Ficmas Day 11

Word Count: 1.7k

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Reader

Rossi was holding his annual Christmas party for the team, and the two of you were excited to spend a nice evening with the people you considered family. You stood on Rossi’s doorstep, knocking on the big wooden door to his house. Spencer’s arm was linked with your yours and he held the bottle of wine you brought in the other.

When Rossi opened the door, he pulled you both in for a hug. You heard muffled voices and festive music pervading from the other room, and the warm smells of Rossi’s cooking filled your senses. Spencer handed him the wine, and he thanked you both before taking your jackets to be hung up.

Spencer grabbed your hand and the two of you walked into the living room to greet everyone. After saying your hellos, Rossi offered to get you guys drinks, to which you happily obliged before everyone moved to the dining room for dinner. You all drank and laughed over Rossi’s delicious meal, enjoying the relaxing time you got to spend with your friends.

After dinner, you all retired back to the living room. Everyone was slightly buzzed, having had one too many spiked eggnogs. You plopped onto the couch next to Penelope and Emily, Spencer sitting on the adjacent couch next to Derek. JJ and Will sat together in a large chair across from you while Rossi took his seat in his large armchair, lighting a cigar. He offered one to Hotch, who politely declined.

After another hour so of exchanging stories and jokes, JJ and Will decided to head home to their boys, Aaron taking the opportunity to go home to Jack as well.

“Oh! Be sure to tell Henry and Michael we can’t wait to see them next week”, Spencer called out.

“We will”, JJ reassured.

“Henry hasn’t stopped asking if it’s almost time to go sledding with Uncle Spencer and Aunty (Y/n)”, Will added on, laughing. A bright smile grew on Spencer’s face, and you looked over at him, your heart swelling at how much he loved his godsons. Penelope noticed the way you were looking at Spencer and placed her hand on yours to get your attention as everyone was saying their goodbyes.

“Have you guys ever thought about it?”, she whispered, loud enough so only you would hear.

“Thought about what?”, you questioned.

“About little baby geniuses?”, she asked with a giddy smirk. You felt heat rush to your face, and you stole a glance at Spencer, who was in a conversation with Derek and Hotch.

“I mean”, you smiled causing Penelope to squeal. “We’ve discussed it”, you trailed off. Penelope gasped and pulled you in for a hug. Emily noticed and leaned over asking what was going on.

“Oh nothing”, Penelope gleamed, “Just our resident genius and beloved (Y/n) are going to have beautiful little babies”. Emily’s face lit up and you laughed, shushing them as you nudged Penelope’s side.

“We haven’t decided anything”, you whispered, looking back at Spencer to make sure he hadn’t heard anything.

“But you’ve discussed it”, Penelope said, raising her eyebrows.

“Yes, but-”, you chided.

“But you’ve discussed it”, Emily smirked, cutting you off.

“I hate both of you”, you huffed, holding back a smile. You looked back at Spencer, noticing he was finishing his conversation and Hotch patted him on the back before leaving.

After everyone bid their goodbyes, Rossi walked Hotch, JJ, and Will out, a small lull falling upon the room. Spencer looked over at you, sending you a quick wink. You smiled, sending one back. Penelope watched the adorable gesture and smiled, nudging you. You looked over at her and glared, silently telling her to not bring up your previous conversation.

Spencer noticed how red your face was, and came over, sitting down beside you. It was a bit of a tight fit with all four of you on the couch, so Spencer made sure to pull you close to him.

“You okay?”, he asked, placing the back of his hand on your flushed cheek.

“Yeah”, you said curtly, feigning innocence. He searched your eyes for a moment, scrunching his nose.

“Okay”, he nodded. He relaxed further into the couch, causing you to lean further into his chest.

“You guys are so cute”, she cooed, admiring the way Spencer looked down at you in his arms.

“Yeah, I got a good one”, you chuckled, turning your head to face Spencer. He blushed slightly and placed a kiss on your cheek. You snuggled further into him, slowly rubbing your hand over his arm that was draped across your torso.

You guys talked and laugh for a few more hours, relishing in the opportunity to hang out without the horrors of work looming over your heads. You yawned, the eggnog having caught up with you, and you closed your eyes resting your head on Spencer’s shoulder.

“I think we are going to head out”, Spencer said, rubbing your back. You sighed, nodding.

“Yeah, I’m getting a bit tired too”, Emily said, looking to Garcia, who was her ride home. Everyone nodded, getting up to say their goodbyes. You went over to thank Rossi for a lovely night, who pulled you in for a hug. Before going to say goodbye to Penelope and Emily, you noticed Spencer and Derek standing in the corner, their backs to the rest of the room. You were about to go over and see what they were up to, but Penelope pulled you into a huge hug before you could say anything.

“Please keep me updated if anymore discussing happens”, she gleamed.

“I will”, you laughed, pulling back. “But we haven’t even discussed getting married or anything like that, so don’t expect any big updates”, you said, hugging Emily. Both women just smiled, causing you to shake your head, trying to hide your own smile at the thought.

“You ready babe?”, you asked, making your way towards Spencer. He quickly spun around his hands behind his back.

“Y-yeah, just um, can you give me a minute”. You looked at him quizically before nodding. Derek placed his hand on Spencer’s shoulder, who smiled at him, almost relieved. Derek walked over to you, Emily, and Penelope, placing his arm around your shoulder.

“Here, let me walk my three favorite ladies out”, he said, ushering the three of you to the door. Rossi handed all of you your jackets, wishing you a safe drive home.

When you made it outside, Derek made sure Emily and Garcia got into their car safely, before coming over to you waiting by your car for Spencer.

“Is Spence okay?”, you asked as he came to lean against the car with you. You pulled your jacket around you tighter, the cold winter air blowing against you.

“Pretty Ricky? Yeah, he’s great”, Derek reassured.

“Then what were you two scheming?”, you laughed. Derek paused, looking to the doorway, which Spencer was currently walking out of.

“Nothing bad”, he smirked nodding to your boyfriend, “I promise”. He gave you a quick hug while you rolled your eyes at his vague response. He patted Spencer on the back goodnight before getting in his own car to head home.

“You ready?”, Spencer asked. You nodded, getting into the car.

“Tonight was nice”, you said as Spencer started the car. “Even though we see everyone all day, I feel like we never get to just hang out and catch up like that”. Spencer hummed, nodding at your words. He turned on the radio, the gentle holiday music filling the car. You closed your eyes, leaning into the headrest of the seat. Spencer looked over at you, admiring how peaceful you looked.

“So”, Spencer cleared his throat, breaking the silence. You opened your eyes and turned your attention towards him. “Little baby geniuses?”, he smirked, trying to stifle his laughter. You gasped, rolling your head towards the window, not wanting him to physically see your embarrassment.

“How much of that did you hear?”, you groaned while giggling along with him.

“Enough”, he said simply. You shook your head laughing as he peeked over you, a small giggle leaving his lips.

“I’m going to kill Penelope”, you chuckled, rolling your eyes.

“Don’t”, Spencer said, grabbing your hand, causing your eyes to shoot over to him. “I must say she does have a point”, he smirked, glancing at you. You took in a sharp breath at his words, your heart rate picking up again.

“Really?”, you asked earnestly.

“Of course”, he squeezed your hand. You looked at him, the passing street lights highlighting his face as you drove in the night. You bit your lip, your heart never having felt so full before.

“Um”, you started, Spencer looking over at you. “What were you and Derek talking about, if you don’t mind me asking?”, a playful smile on your lips. You noticed how Spencer tensed up slightly, and he hoped you couldn’t see how red his face was.

“Oh, um, I kind of do mind?”, he laughed. You squinted your eyes at him, not understanding why he couldn’t tell you.

“Alright, be all cryptic”, you laughed, still holding his hand.

“I was just”, he started. “I was asking him some advice on your Christmas present”, he said, squeezing your hand.

“Oh”, you giggled. “You could have just said that”. You brought his hand up to your mouth, placing a kiss on the back of his hand.

“Yeah, I know”, he smirked. “But based on me finding out about these little baby geniuses through Penelope I rather not take any chances of spoiling the surprise”, he teased.

“Okay, fair enough”, you laughed, resting your head on his shoulder as he put the car in park, having made it back to your apartment. You both got out of the car, Spencer wrapping his arm around you as you walked towards the building. You rested your head on his shoulder, placing one of your arms on his back. Spencer snuck a glance at you, excited, and slightly nervous for you to get your gift from him.

What he didn’t tell you, however, was that it wasn’t just any Christmas present. It was a very special one that came in a tiny velvet box that he has had on him every day for the past month, just waiting for the perfect moment to give it to you.

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cacoetheswriting · 4 years

Text

champagne problems, ch.11

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Eleven: I Know It’s Over: Things get a little more clearer as you deal with the pain Spencer caused. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: swearing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, jealousy, talk of breakup/s, mentions of alcohol consumption / intoxication, serious serious angst, this whole series is a real slow burn.

series masterlist

A/N: everyone go thank @ellesgreenaway for getting me out of my writing rut just in time to get this chapter done! and as always, i wanted to reiterate how fucking grateful i am that y'all are reading, and liking, this little story! it means the world to me! also, i didn't reread this so there may some mistakes ill fix later, sorry!!

People love weekends. They’re like a mini holiday. A break from the tedious and repetitive cycle that is Monday to Friday. Weekends are time spent away from the office, your profession and whatever that entails. They are time spent away from completing menial tasks. A break.

Saturdays and Sundays help regain all of the lost energy. When people get caught up in everyday life, weekends remind them to enjoy the simple things. They gives the opportunity to try new things, visit family and friends, or allow to simply spend some time alone. People love weekends.

Your weekend however, was an utter blur.

Aiding a killer hangover on Saturday, you opted to spend the day in bed. A plastic bucket within your reach and a bottle of water on the side table. You slept a lot. Partially to ease the headache, but mainly to ease the pain you were experiencing in your chest. The heartache.

The only thing you could remember from the night before was Spencer completely shattering your hopes and dreams, and the first six shots of tequila you took after at a nearby bar. You weren't entirely sure how you got home; the next morning Ethan clarified he picked you up after the bartender rang him using your phone. Not one of your proudest moments.

Your lack of motivation carried onto Sunday. The grief you were experiencing was not unfamiliar, after all Spencer’s broken up with you before. Although this time the agony that accompanied it felt a lot more intense. You couldn't move, or eat, or even shower. You were frozen. Stuck to the bed as if it was your only lifeline.

Thankfully Ethan was working both days. In your eyes, he was too preoccupied to notice something was wrong. Unbeknown to you however, he knew exactly the reason behind your melancholy.

The weekend soon ended, almost as soon as it began. Monday morning rolled around and with it the encouragement to get out of bed. Not like you wanted to. If you had it your way, you would never leave the comfort and safety of your duvet again. You knew however, you couldn't stay home without at least some of your colleagues questioning your absence, asking what was wrong. No. It was time to face reality.

Time to face Spencer.

The brunette doctor was sat at his desk. He arrived to work today earlier than usual, about four hours early to be exact. He made his usual cup of coffee and since then he hasn't moved an inch, just staring silently at his phone.

It wasn't something he done often, honestly he only carried the thing around for work purposes. But something happened that he couldn't quite get over.

On Saturday morning, Spencer woke up to a message left on his voicemail. A message from you.

At first it was hard to decipher what you were saying, or rather what you were mumbling. Between the drunken hiccups, slurred speech, and obnoxious background noise, Spencer initially thought it was a butt dial. It must have been, right? He was after breaking your heart for a second time, why would you leave him a voicemail?

However, hearing your melodic tone just saying his name, prompted Spencer to listen to the message again. It was then he really heard the distorted words coming out of your mouth.

“Spencerrrrrr, I uh I don't believe yo-ou. I know-w in uh my hearrrt-t you d-didn't mean it.” Hiccup. “P...p-please let’ssss forgetuh abo-ut it.” Hiccup. “I-I love youh-uh anddd I kno-ow you love meeee. I jussst kno-w.” Hiccup. “I-I me-an you uh couldn't-t even look me-e in the eye when you sss-said it.... please-e S-Spencer-”

The message cuts off and he’s left dumbfounded.

Blood drained from his face. The voicemail registered in his brain and he suddenly felt dizzy. Nauseous even. His hands began to tremble in his lap, and he swore if he wasn't sitting down he would have fainted.

By Monday, Spencer had listened to the voicemail a painstakingly two-hundred and eleven times. He had it memorised, and yet he kept playing it over and over again just to hear your voice.

As he sat at his desk, waiting for his colleagues to arrive, he wondered whether you remembered sending it. Truthfully, he hoped you didn't. It would be easier to move on that way - as if moving on from you was an option.

The glass door opened and he heard a faint sound of footsteps walk across the bullpen. Footsteps Spencer would honestly recognise anywhere. Taking in a deep breath, he glanced up from his phone and slightly turned his head, his gaze landing on you.

The air caught in Spencer’s throat, the voicemail instantly replaying in his head.

He wondered what you were thinking. Simply by looking at you he could tell you were in pain. Pain he caused, and he hated himself for it. Having spent countless hours over Saturday and Sunday rethinking the situation, he knew he made a mistake. He should have never given into Ethan’s smug demands. And even if, he should have told you what happened. Leave the choice up to you, as it was in the first place.

It was too late now to fix this, Spencer knew even if you remembered sending the voicemail you wouldn't listen to what he had to say anyway. Selfishly, he wanted you to look at him. He wanted to gaze into your eyes as the drunken message replayed in his mind yet again.

And although you could feel his eyes on you, you couldn't bring yourself to meet his stare. No. The heartache would only intensify. This was a mistake. You should have stayed home. With a blank expression, you placed your bag on your desk and hurried in the direction of the office kitchenette.

Spencer on the other hand followed you with his gaze. Every fibre of his being screamed to follow you, to talk to you. But he was completely frozen and remained glued to his own chair. Once again, a true display of cowardliness.

By lunch time, the whole team picked up on the odd dynamic between you and the handsome doctor. Two people that spent every waking moment together were no longer speaking to one another. It didn't take a profiler to see something was wrong.

You hid in Penelope’s lair with the bubbly blonde and Tara. Enjoying a couple minutes of peace away from the prying eyes of everyone you worked with, most importantly however, away from Spencer.

“So chicken, are you going to tell us what’s wrong?” Garcia enquired, taking a mouthful of her lunch. “Because a blindman could see something is off, and don't you dare telling me I’m delusional or something.”

“Penelope is right, Y/N. Last time you were this silent and upset was when Spencer was in prison.”

You let out a deep sigh at the sound of his name. It was no use hiding your feelings from them, they would figure it out eventually. Plus these were the people you trusted more than anything in the world. If you couldn't tell them, then who could you tell what was going on?

“It’s something similar.” You mumbled, avoiding their gaze. “Just much much worse this time...”

“Well whatever it is, you can tell us. We’re here for you.” Penelope chimed, and reached out her hand to grab yours. She gave it a gentle squeeze and shot you a reassuring smile.

“Yes, exactly. We will support you through anything, you know that.” Tara added nodding along.

You sniffled. What were becoming all too familiar tears formed in the corners of your eyes, and you knew you would break down at any given second. Taking in a long breath, you began to tell the two girls everything that’s happened since your engagement. They listened attentively, never turning their attention away from you. As they listened, they both held your hands and took turns whispering ‘it’s okay’ or ‘take your time’.

“I’m going to kill our resident genius. He won't know what’s coming.” Penelope murmured after you finished in an attempt to lighten the mood. The corners of your lips twitched ever so slightly upwards as you wiped the tears away from your face.

“What are you going to do?” Tara asked after a congenial moment of silence.

“Ehm...” You cleared your throat. “S-Spencer wants nothing to do with me, but uhm... I after everything I c-can’t, I just can't be with Ethan. I can’t-t.”

The girls both nodded their heads, and even though they understood exactly what you meant by what you were saying, you still felt like you had to say the words aloud. For your own sake.

“So, uhm, I-I’m going to break up with Ethan. I-I’m going to end the engagement.” You stated, and even though your heart still ached, you felt as if a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You felt free.

And I know it's over - still I cling I don't know where else I can go

A/N: as always i’d love to hear your feedback! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

masterlist | series masterlist | series playlist

story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94, @stepsofthefbi, @chatterbug2-0, @calm-and-doctor, @halseysunset

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no, @calm-and-doctor, @idroppedmygourd, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @ellesgreenaway

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid series #spencer reid story #spencer reid songfic #spencer reid x reader

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lilypixels · 3 years

Photo

Izzy’s Dag-Dag The Artist… Tag

By @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy

~ Rules ~

Show us a rendition of yourself in your own art! Can be anything! Sims render? Random stick figure? Picrew? Go nuts! (Just be sure to tag the artist if you use someone else’s picrew!!!!) Tag the blogs you want to know, and don’t be a dick that’s it! Also, feel free to answer as vague or in-depth as you want. And if you don’t want to answer a question for any reason just don’t vibe with it! Skip it if you wanna! Also make sure you tag me and use #dagdagtheartisttag so I can see it!!!!!!!!

This is a bit long so i’m just gonna...

~Questions~

1.) Do you prefer to be referred to by your name or blog name? Both are fine! I don’t care much about what people refer to me as in general and have had someone on here call me lily once

2.) Where are you from? I won’t say exact, but I live in the middle of USA (I can’t wait to move-)

3.) Do you have pets? 👀 Yes! 3 dogs and 2 cats, tho only one cat is truly “mine”

4.) Tell us about your “dream”. uhh like where I want to be in life? what I want to do? um I’m still working on the exact job title, but I wish to do research at a natural history/science museum (sorta like archives or collections manager, but neither of those are quite right i think). Otherwise, I just hope to adopt and even foster kids cause my life would not be complete without little ones :3 (spouse/partner optional lol)

5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies? Randomly researching things that grasp my attention, games...lots of games, reading, watching tv, coloring (wait does that count as art-), uhhh spacing out

6. )Does anyone irl know about your blog? yeah, but mostly just know about, not like see my posts i guess

7.)Do you know anyone from your blog irl? not outside of just chatting on discord

8.) What are some fun facts about you? I’ve had some poems published before (it was with entering a poetry contest), I have surprisingly good balance, my brain is not properly awake/functioning until 10am which has led to me almost using soap as toothpaste a few times too many, I have a birthmark on my finger (bonus: it sorta changes color/how noticeable it is depending on how hot or cold I am lol, i call it a mini thermometer cause of this), apparently Lion King was my Disney movie obsession as a kid...oh and I have a certificate in cryptozoology lolz

9.) What’s your day job? i work as a private nanny/glorified babysitter (i don’t live with them or drive but work regular hours through week and as needed; even join the occasional vacation with them)

10.) Do you have a celebrity look alike? i don’t think so; a girl in high school once said I look like Cameron Diaz tho-

11.) What’s your aesthetic? for my blog I think it’s becoming like dark academia meets cottage core?? idk for myself...who knows

12.) What kind of artist are you? the tired kind lol

13.) How did you get into your form of art? if we’re looking at sims, uhhh well I just happened to learn about cc one day, then happened upon simblr, saw edits, and thought I’d give a try cause I can’t draw but I need a creative outlet so this worked for me

14.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create? if I do anything, its listen to music; music is generally random based on what I feel like but more recently its been 2d anime groups (idolish7, hypnosis mic, etc)

15.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far? lets see...this, this, and this edit wise I think

16.) How would you describe your art style? idk chaos

17.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining? coloring, I like coloring

18.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

19.) What character from any media form do you most identify with? oh gosh uhhhh there’s a few but I’ll say Iori and Sogo from Idolish7 since they come to mind first lol. Iori is a fellow aquarius who hides his interests and agonizes over past slipups even a year later, others have legit moved on but he’s still stuck on it (that was true moment I was like “omg you are aquarius” lol cause yeah meee). Sogo i heavily relate to as well cause he’s,,,very nice and hides his own feelings, putting others before himself (but when right buttons get pushed, he can be scary lol) so yeah, those two

20.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to? I’ve never thought of this...no clue

21.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names? I have changed names, yes; I used to be silverine-sims but after a time i didn’t ~vibe~ with it

22.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose? page songs like adding playlist to blog? i mean its possible already with bit of coding and I used to have one set up but uh one song huh? gosh um I guess Twisted Hearts by tasuku hatanaka; it was op for Moriarty the Patriot s2 and I’m pretty obsessed with it rn

23.) Oh yeah, I’m still on the MySpace train and I’m starting discourse! Who’s your top 8? my brain refuses to think and rank; i have trouble with choices and that extends to favorites,,

24.) Did you understand those references or did you have to look them up? (I’m fully aware I’m ancient, but are you?) i know of myspace but otherwise i have no clue what all it entailed

25.) One last question; why are you like that? I grew up watching Secret Saturdays, He-Man, Teen Titans, Danny Phantom, and Spongebob idk what to tell ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dag dag?

Now tag tag!!!

I know not all of you will do this or was tagged by izzy already but I’m tagging everyone I can think of anyway-

@cyansimblr @neriney @lunchsims @waysims @klayde @sinfulwunders @void-imp @ladykendalsims @lazysunjade @almost-spring @smolteabirb @lunaziie @clumsyghostie and uh uh anyone else cause its too early and my brain just quit

#for the card thing #i was gonna do playlist but then id have to think more and choose a few songs from many #for characters itaru from a3 was another one #but two i picked maybe work more #also what does dag dag mean??#or is it a play on tag to rhyme??#tagged #tag thing #was gonna use simself for this #buttt i deleted after that one dream self tag #and photo from it wasnt cutting it #so used this picrew one #from another tag lol #dagdagtheartisttag

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enjennie · 4 years

Photo

The Dreamies as types of dates

Mark

Carnival piers, ice cream and stuffed toys.

The shy date who planned and overthought things beforehand. Simple things like a date by the pier, winning you stuff toys at the carnival and stopping by the ice cream shop are the small things in which Mark would like to spend his day doing with you. Would most likely end the day with a ride on the Ferris wheel because he wanted to see the sunset from up high with you, but didn’t realize how crammed the carriage is, which means awkward glances and accidental hand brushes. He’s debating if it’s the right time to hold your hand, and panicking deep inside. In the end, he takes the leap and places his hand on top of yours, looks at you if it’s okay, before knitting your fingers together. He smiles to himself when you lie your head on his shoulder. “Is this okay?” “It’s perfect,”

Renjun

Museum and art gallery dates, pottery places or just somewhere to get your creative juices going.

Renjun’s the type to make up stories about the paintings displayed on the wall, claiming that the man in the canvas was a spy for the government, or that the picture of the chapel was an old cult gathering place. You think it’s definitely dorky, but don’t hesitate in joining in on making up the stories with him and by the end of the date, you’ve made countless of inside jokes and a bunch of plots you both made up, calling for a memorable date. Renjun would probably walk you home afterwards, and try to steal a kiss on the cheek (or on the lips if he’s brave). “Goodnight, I had fun today,” “I didn’t, the terrible fate you gave old man Harris in that one painting was harsh,” “Can I kiss you to make up for it?”>

Jeno

Karaoke, photo booths and record stores.

The date who surprises you with his singing skills at the karaoke/coin noraebang. Belting out to ballads as if his wife and three kids left him. Spontaneous plans and being pulled into every photo booth he sees, where you make kissy faces and silly expressions for the camera. Jeno wouldn’t want to pressure you in dressing up, insisting that you look lovely in anything you put on. At the vintage record store, he’d pick out his favourite album and put the headset on for you as you both listen. On the way home, he’d share his earphones with you and play the playlist he made for you while playing with your fingers and drawing on your palm. “Guess what I’m drawing,” “A flower?” “It’s my cat bongsik, but okay,”

Haechan

Amusement parks, rollercoasters and street food.

Extremely loud screaming that turn into high notes at the rollercoaster, almost punching the haunted house actor for being too scary and several failed attempts at the claw machine. These are some of the many things that goes on in a date with Hyuck. He wants to try every ride with you, and taste all the food the park has to offer. Won’t leave the claw machine alone until he gets you one of the ‘special’ prizes, which turned out to be a blender. “Seriously, who gives away blenders as prizes in an amusement park?” “Hey if you don’t like it then I’ll give it to my mom,”. The laid back date who treats you like a bro, but offers his jacket to you when it gets chilly at night accompanied by a scolding as to why you didn’t bring your own, then takes you to a 7/11 to eat ramyeon because he wasted all his money on the damn claw machine.

Jaemin

Puppies, charity work and coffee breaks.

The date with the biggest heart who takes you to the puppy adoption center to volunteer because he wants to share his happiness with you. Stealing glances at you as you play with puppies and bathe them, seeing you being loving to the animals makes Jaemin fall deeper in love with you. You almost don’t want to leave the dogs and almost took one with you at the end of the day. Once you finish up, he takes you to a neighboring café and talk about the fun day you’ve had. Jaemin can’t keep the smile from appearing on his face, hearing you say how much fun you had and seeing how happy you are doing the thing that brings him the most joy. “I already miss the pups,” “What do you say we come back again tomorrow?” “Are you asking me for a second date, or do my ears deceive me?”

Chenle

Lightsticks, concerts and being the only person he sees in the sea of people.

You can never tell what’s coming next with Chenle. When he says he’s taking you to a concert, you have to ask if it’s a recital, orchestra or a band because you really don’t know what to expect from the boy. Chenle would buy the tickets on a whim and would be at your front door an hour before it starts. Screaming over the music, or whispering into your ear as you both danced together. Chenle the type to keep his eyes on you while you have the time of your life, spinning you around and asking for your hand to slow dance when the band plays a romantic song. Afterwards he’ll take you home and cook you dinner as you both recap the night you spent together. “I don’t even know the band,” “You’re kidding,” “I wish I was,”

Jisung

Arcades, dance machines and afterschool dates.

The type to hold your backpack for you and awkwardly walk with you. Lots of back of the head scratches and lame jokes to fill the silence between you both which still makes you laugh anyway. Challenges you to the dance machine but loses on purpose. He wants to break the record for the basketball machine to impress you, but gets pressured with you watching him, therefore only getting a certain amount in. Very student friendly budget date, he probably saved up his allowance weeks before. “I’m sorry, I’ll take you on a proper date next time,” “Are you kidding? I’m having so much fun,” hearing you say this would really boost his confidence, and he’d ask for a second date before this one even came to an end. Would take the bus home with you, offer you a hot pack to keep you warm and get flustered when your hands come in contact with one another. Shy side glances and a lot of blushing. You end the night eating snacks in a minimart and you listen to him geek out about the latest released video game.

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your-eternal-muse · 4 years

Text

Wish I Were....

Heather Series Chapter 12 (FINAL PART)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Bonus!:Readers Card Confession Bonus!:To Hold On, To Let Go, Spencers take Bonus!:Series Playlist

Summery: Reader no longer wishes she were someone else

Words: 4k

Warnings: Swearing, Description of Birth, just pure, tooth aching fluff

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Y/N: This is it y’all. This is the final chapter of the Heather's Series. I started this journey a little over a month ago, and my god, has it been amazing. I never thought it would pick up the traction it did, and I am so glad I decided to start posting in the first place. I’m gonna take a short break from posting any writing just to recuperate and stuff, but it won’t last longer than a week, and I will still be interacting on the platform itself. I want to thank every single reader who has liked and/or reblogged my work. It means so much to me, and I would not have gotten this far without your support. I love you all with all of my heart. There will be one more bonus “chapter” that I will be posting within the next couple days, but it’ll be mostly headcanons, and answering any questions you may have about the series. I hope the ending is worth it.

With love, your eternal muse,

Frankie <3

~~~~~

I used to be a night owl.

I used to live in the night, sit under the stars and soak it all up.

I used to not go to bed until hours after the sunset, perfectly content to not waking up until hours after it had risen.

Now, I’m lucky to sleep for a few hours between dusk and dawn.

But I’m okay with that.

The ringing of trembling tears echoes through my ears, and I stir awake.

I rub my face, looking at the clock as I push back the comforter.

4 am.

Oh goody.

“I’ve got her baby, go back to sleep.”

Spencer whispers in my ear, planting a kiss on my shoulder, and I’m not one to argue.

I fall back into the pillows, pulling the blanket back up to my chin, my eyes closing without much resistance.

I wake an hour late, expecting to feel his body warmth against my back.

I turn, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, realizing that the blanket is still pulled back from when he got up the hour before.

Oh dear lord please tell me she didn’t get sick.

I climb out of bed, padding down the hallway towards the soft glow of light emitting from her room.

I pause at the doorway, watching as he holds her close to his chest, a smile draped across his face.

I can’t help but stand and watch as he sways back and forth, watching her sleep in his arms.

I notice her tiny hand is clasped around his ring finger, the gold of his wedding band glowing in the dim light.

I love that ring on him.

I never thought I’d be the one to put it on him.

My heart is pounding in my chest.

Why am I so nervous?

He’s not going to leave me stranded.

Right?

Jesus, get a grip, y/n.

“Are you ready y/n?” Hotch walks around the corner, fixing his cuff links as he walks up to me.

I take a deep breath in, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going to throw up.

“Yep. I’m ready, I just….” I fan myself. “Is it normal to feel like you’re going to pass out on your wedding day?”

He smiles, coming forward and taking hold of my hand. “It is. And I guarantee you, he’s worse than you are.”

I laugh, just imagining the state he’s in.

He hasn’t seen me in three days, since I’m a stickler for tradition.

It was my bachelorette party, than his bachelor party, and now here we are.

“When Haley and I got married, I was a nervous wreck. I don’t think I took a normal breath until hours after just because I was so worried about everything going to plan.”

He brushes some of the curls framing my face out of my eye sight.

“But, when I met her eyes, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. It was just us, and I knew, at that moment, that everything would be okay.”

I nod, exhaling. “Okay. I’m ready.”

He loops my arm through his, turning to the closed doors where my future waits for me.

“Thank you, Aaron. For giving me away. You’re the closest thing to a father I’ve got.”

He pats my hand. “It’s my honor, y/n.”

I hear the start of the music, and my heart jump starts.

I grip his arm, trying to control my breathing.

“Don’t let me fall.”

“Never.”

The doors open, and for a moment, I panic.

But then my eyes meet his.

And everything else disappears.

His hands are clasped in front of him, and I see him look me over, taking in everything.

Tears are streaming down both of our faces, and god, I never realized how much I missed him when he’s gone.

We reach the altar, where a proud Rossi stands, and Hotch hands me off with a kiss to my cheek.

I hand JJ my flowers, turning clasping Spencer's hands in mine.

When my hand touches his, my breathing returns to normal.

However, before I even notice, JJ is handing me a folded piece of paper that holds my vows.

Weddings always seem longer when you’re not in them.

I unfold the paper, clearing my throat.

“I don’t have an eidetic memory, so I need this so I don’t make a fool of myself.”

A couple laughs from the crowd.

Okay, here goes nothing.

“The first time I saw you, you were sitting at your desk, while Derek and JJ sat around you, watching you explain the scientific inaccuracies of Star Wars.”

He laughs, and Derek pats his shoulder from behind him.

“I was awestruck to say the least. The way your eyes lit up with excitement, how your hands couldn’t stay still.”

I take a breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“I fell in love with you at that moment. But I knew I was done for when you looked at me for the first time.”

Rossi produces a tissue from his pocket, and I laugh, accepting and blotting at my tears.

“You are my best friend. You are there for me in my darkest times, and are often the cause of all my light ones. You hold me when I cry, and you laugh when I’m angry at something stupid. You never make me feel stupid. You are the greatest thing to have ever happened to me.”

Christ, why was this so hard?

“I love you. And I promise to cherish you, and not get annoyed when you ramble on about god knows what, because I love to listen to you talk. I promise to never make you feel like you don’t matter, because you matter so much. I promise to love you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, until the end of time itself. I choose you, forever and always.”

I fold the paper up again, dabbing away my tears.

“Well, look at that, I still made a fool of myself.”

More laughs, and I hear a few sniffles here and there.

Spencer wipes his own eyes. “I don’t know if I can top that.”

I giggle.

He goes into his jacket, and pulls out a white envelope, and my face scrunches in confusion.

“It’s not what you think it is.” He whispers.

He opens it, pulling out a car, and begins to read from the inside.

“You told me once, in a card similar to this one, that the moment you admitted to yourself that you loved me, was on a road trip to visit my mom. I thought it fitting that I tell you that, that was the moment I admitted to myself that I loved you in the same way. So here we are.”

I bring a hand up to my mouth, covering the ugly sobs that threaten to spill out.

“We had only known each other for a month, but you were easily taking over every brain cell in my mind. I was terrified of you saying no, but I asked anyway. Those two weeks were some of the best of my life. I fell in love with your laugh, your smile, the way your hair looks in the sunlight. I fell in love with you from the driver's seat and I’ve loved you ever since. You deserve to be reminded of that every day for the rest of your life. I promise to hold and cherish the heart that you have given me. I promise to catch you, every time you run away. I promise to protect you with my life. You mean everything to me, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of forever with you. I love you, forever and always.”

He closes it, and it takes a moment for me to gather myself.

“I promise I didn’t look at your vows before writing mine.”

I laugh.

Rossi clears his throat. “The rings please, Henry.”

Henry walks forward, our rings sitting on the pillow as he smiles at us.

“Thank you buddy.” I say, taking hold of Spencer’s between my fingers.

“Alright. Y/n, repeat after me. I, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid, to be my husband.”

I repeat the words, a smile growing bigger and bigger on my face.

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until the end of time.”

Can I kiss him yet?

I say the words, like casting a spell, before slipping the golden band onto his finger.

Rossi repeats the phrase, and Spencer’s smile is as big as mine, if not bigger.

“Until the end of time.”

He delicately slips the ring on my finger, and my heart starts pounding.

“One more question for each of you. I promise, we're almost there.”

He smiles at each of us, before turning back to me.

“Do you, Y/n Y/l/n, take Spencer Reid as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

Not even a question.

“And do you, Spencer Reid, take Y/n Y/l/n as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

I start bouncing on my toes, too excited to care.

“Then it is my great pleasure and honor to pronounce you, husband and wife.”

He turns to Spencer. “You may now kiss the bride.”

He doesn’t hesitate, cradling my face in his hands as he places his lips on mine.

It’s just me and him, in an empty room.

I move my hands up his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.

It’s only when we break, that I remember people are here, and the room is filled with applause.

With our hands clasped together we walk back down the aisle, and I swear I am never going to be this happy ever again. And that’s okay.

My eyes fall from his arms, to the dresser sitting next to her crib.

The top is covered with photos, personalized trinkets, and books.

One picture is framed with her name in gold lettering down the side.

My first sonogram.

Through the glass I can see wrinkles in the film.

Spencer carried it with him until the day she was born.

He had always mentioned how he wanted to have kids someday.

It didn’t make me any less nervous to tell him, though.

“Hello?”

“Hi! Is this Mrs. Y/n Reid?”

I stop writing, my pen mid stroke on my paper.

“This is she.”

“Hello! This is Nicole calling from United Health with the results of your pregnancy test.”

Jesus that was fast.

“Oh! That was quicker than I expected.”

I set my pen down, closing my file, pushing some hair behind my ear, looking around to see if anyone was in ear shot.

They weren’t.

“We get that a lot. But, I’d like to say congratulations! You are pregnant!”

I stop breathing for a moment.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Thank you!”

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

“You’re so welcome! Congratulations again! Have a great rest of your day!”

I hang up, still trying to grasp the words that have just been spoken to me.

I’m pregnant.

I’m fucking pregnant.

Holy fuck.

“Y/n? Baby, are you okay?”

I snap out of my daze to see Spencer standing beside my desk, a look of skeptical worry on his face.

“Uh...yeah. Yeah. I’m fine. Um…”

I have to tell him. I can’t keep this a secret from him, even if I wanted to try and surprise him.

I stand, running my hands over my pants.

“Okay, somethings wrong. You do that when you’re nervous.”

I can’t help but laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Nothings wrong, Spence. Um, I just got a call from United Health.”

He’s confused, setting the file in his hand, down on my desk.

“Why would United Health be calling you?”

There are days when I can't believe he has an I.Q. of 187.

“I went in yesterday, to get a test done. I’ve been gaining weight, and I’ve been getting sick in the mornings. I also skipped my last period.”

I can sense the wheels beginning to turn in his head.

“Wait. Are you…”

I nod, tears falling down my cheeks. “I’m pregnant, Spencer.”

It takes a moment for the words to register in his brain, but then he’s yelling in excitement, throwing his arms around my waist, picking me up and spinning me around.

He sets me down, his eyes red rimmed, his smile one I will never forget.

“You’re pregnant. Oh my god we’re having a baby.”

His hands are placed on either side of my face, and I can’t help but laugh at his infectious excitement.

“Who’s having a baby, now?”

Derek walks up, and Spencer turns, and I know Derek knows just by the shit eating grin on Spencer’s face.

But I just love saying it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Derek’s eyes light up as he claps his hands together, before pulling Spencer into a hug. “My man!”

JJ and Emily gather around, all smiles and squeals as I’m captured in the middle of a group hug.

Penelope walks into the bullpen then, confusion written across her face.

“What’s going on out here? Why are you guys screaming? Who won the lottery?”

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the smile.

“I’m pregnant!” I all but scream.

Penelope’s expression changes in an instant as she practically runs forward.

“Oh my god! Holy crap! Baby genius! That’s so much better than the lottery!”

She catches me in a bone crushing hug before suddenly pulling back.

“Crap. Sorry. Fragile baby.”

“Congratulations baby girl.” Derek swaps places with Penelope, who is now hugging Spencer with everything she has.

“Alright, why are you guys hugging each other?”

Rossi and Hotch walk through the glass doors, taking in the commotion.

I feel Spencer wrap his arms around me from behind, as he kisses my shoulder, my neck, my cheek.

“I’m pregnant!”

A smile immediately forms on Rossi’s face as he comes forward, grasping my face between his hands, kissing me on each of my cheeks.

“Congratulations, principessa.”

“Congratulations, to both of you.”

Hotch is smiling, waiting his turn to give hugs.

“It’s decided, celebratory dinner at my place tonight!” Rossi announces and we all cheer.

I turn my head, placing my hands over Spencer’s which are now resting over my stomach.

“I love you.” I smile.

“I love you, too. Both of you.”

Soft humming breaks the silence of the room, and quiet words float through the air as he sings to her sleeping form.

“Come Josephine, in my flying machine. Going up she goes, up she goes.”

I enter the room then, tip toeing over to stand by his side, leaning my head against his shoulder as I gently stroke her hair.

“Up, up, a little bit higher. Oh! My! The moon is on fire! Come, Josephine in my flying machine going up, all on, goodbye!”

She’s tiny.

I couldn’t fathom how tiny she was a month ago, and she has grown, but she’s still so small.

Has it already been a month?

“Jesus fuck, I promised myself this wouldn’t happen at work.”

I shouldn’t have come in.

I know that.

I know that waking up with contractions is a tell tale sign that you should not go to work.

But she isn’t due for another two weeks. Two weeks is a long time. Hopefully enough time to get a grip on myself so I don’t panic that I’m gonna fail as a mother every time I think about it too hard.

I thought maybe I could just get through the day, but the warm stream trickling down my leg is a big fuck no to that.

I’m trying to steady my breathing, the cup of tea I was making abandoned on the counter as I grip the edge with a force I didn’t know I had.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?”

Hotch walks up, worry creasing his brow.

He places a hand on my back, a comfort as pain ripples up and down my spine.

I shake my head. “I need Spencer.”

I shift my weight from leg to leg. “And a towel.”

He nods his head, looking around for a chair, frowning when he comes up empty.

“Aaron,” I say, turning my head towards him. “Please go get my husband.”

“Right.” He nods, taking a second to make sure I wasn’t going to topple over before almost running towards Penelope's bat cave.

A hiss escapes my mouth as I feel a jab in my side.

“Yeah, I know baby, I wish he would hurry the fuck up too.”

A plethora of footsteps fall upon my ears, and Spencer immediately places a hand on my lower back, taking hold of mine with his other.

“How far apart are they?” is the first thing out of his mouth.

“I’m fine, honey, thanks for asking.” I say as we start to make our way towards the front glass doors.

He gives me a look and I sigh.

“I don’t know. I thought if I didn’t count they’d go away and I could pretend this isn’t happening at work.”

“I wish it worked like that.” JJ laughs, holding open the door and what I presume is my go bag.

“Me too.” I grit, squeezing Spencer’s hand.

“Remember our deal. Not one statistic, or fact is to be uttered from your mouth today. You are not a doctor once we enter the hospital.”

I can see the panic start to form on his face, but he laughs.

“Yes ma’am.”

~~~

I’m never doing this again.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in this much pain before.

I’ve been in this room for what feels like forever, because she’s taking her sweet time being early.

No amount of pillows or soothing rubs can help the aches that are washing over me.

My hair is falling from the bun I threw it up in, sweat coating every inch of skin I have.

I feel gross in every sense of the word.

I lean forward and groan as another contraction rips through me.

How do women do this?

Spencer brushes some hair out of my face and lays a cool washcloth on my neck as I grip the side rails of my bed.

“You’re doing so good baby.”

It feels like I can’t breath.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

He knows there’s not much he can do right now to help, but he holds my hand, trailing his hand up and down my back.

“Just a little bit longer. I promise. She’s almost here. You’re doing so good, y/n. I’m so proud of you.”

If only he knew about the panic flowing through my veins, the thoughts that I’m not ready to be a mom bouncing around my skull like an insistent headache.

A knock at the door, and my doctor walks in, smiles and bright eyes. “How are you feeling, y/n?”

“Like a,” I groan, trying to move away from the pain, shifting forward and backwards. “Like a million bucks.”

She laughs, and I don’t have the energy to be nice and laugh with her.

“Well, I still need to check, but I’m pretty sure you’re ready to push.”

I close my eyes, not wanting to look as she sticks her fingers in a place that will need some R&R after this.

“I was right. You’re ready. Now, your body knows exactly what to do. It’s best to not fight it, and just listen to what it’s telling you okay?”

I start to move myself back away from her, my breathing picking up pace.

I can’t do this.

“No. No. I can’t. I’m not ready.”

She doesn’t seem phased at all, but Spencer easily notices the fear in my voice.

“Hey, Hey, Hey. Look at me.” His hands stroke the sides of my face, and his fingers are wet from my tears and sweat.

I shake my head. “I’m not doing this. I’m not ready. What if I fail? I don’t want to fail her. I can’t. No. I’m gonna be a horrible mother.”

“Y/n, baby, breath with me.” He takes my hand, and places it on his chest.

I can feel his breaths beneath his breastbone, the frantic heartbeats that give away his true state of mind.

I hate that I’m stressing him out.

“You are going to be a great mother. One of the best. I don’t think you could fail even if you tried.”

He brushes my tears away. “But you can’t force your body to stop. You need to let go. I’m right here.”

“Alright, were ready, y/n.”

My eyes pass between Spencer’s and I know he’s right.

I just need to let go.

I nod, and I move back to where I was.

My left hand grips the rail, while my right is situated inside Spencer’s.

I feel the next contraction start.

“Alright I need you to push for me.”

I’m on the brink of a mental breakdown, but I take a breath and let my muscles do the work.

I hear that groaning and screaming can actually help, so that’s what I do.

With every push, my voice grows louder, words lost in the back of my throat.

But I’m getting tired, and I can feel myself crashing.

So when another contraction pulses through me, I push myself forward, and use every muscle in my body.

“Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!”

I don’t think I’ve ever screamed that loud, but it seemed to work.

It felt like a gush and then crys fill the room.

I fall back onto the bed, tears streaming down my face.

“She’s beautiful!” I hear my doctor say over her screams.

Spencer kisses my forehead, his own tears coating his face. “You were amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

“Here she is!”

My doctor lays a bundle of white blankets onto my chest, and when I see her face, my heart stops.

The world could be burning around me, but I wouldn’t care. Even covered in gunk and red faced, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

I sob, holding her close to me, Spencer right there beside me, his hand gently stroking the top of her head.

“Hi, Ettie.” I whisper. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“She’s so beautiful.” He whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

I can’t take my eyes off her. I never want to let go of her.

Nothing else matters anymore, nothing but her.

Juliet Diana Reid.

Born at 6:08 am, on the third of December.

He places her in my arms, and I clutch her close to my chest as I move back towards her crib to lay her down again.

I don’t understand how I could have ever doubted how amazing my life would be with her in it.

Soft snores emit from her small mouth, and Spencer wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, only moving when he hears me sniffle.

“Why are you crying, love?” he whispers

I wipe my face, turning around so I can face him.

His hands are on my hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on my skin.

“For so long, I was jealous of so many people.” My hands play with the fabric of his t-shirt, rubbing it between my fingers.

“I was jealous of Heather. Of what she had.”

My hands move up his chest, coming to rest at the base of his neck.

“I dreamed about this. About having this with you. And I never thought I would get it. But here I am.”

I smile up at him. “I have everything I have ever wanted. I wouldn’t wish for another life even if it was offered. I have you, and Ettie, and the life I wanted so bad. I’m just…”

I swallow the noise threatening to spill from my throat, so I don’t wake up the sleeping girl behind me.

“I’m just really happy is all.”

He smiles softly down at me, and he brings up a hand to cup my cheek.

He leans down and kisses me slowly, gently, in a way that always leaves me paralyzed.

“I love you.” He whispers.

I nuzzle my nose against his, before laying my head against his chest, feeling his arms wrap around me, holding me tight against him.

“I love you, too.”

I love you, Spencer.

I love you.

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thatmultifandomhoe · 4 years

Text

Knitting You a Home - 9

Pairing: Wolf Hybrid Namjoon and Human Reader

Word Count: 2,557

Genre/Rating: Hybrid AU - Established Relationship - Angst - Fluff - Smut - Rated PG-13

Overview: Things have changed for you and Namjoon. It’s been a year since the two of you got together, and despite a rocky start, it was impossible to deny the bond and love you shared for each other. But ever since Hoseok had been separated from his Mate, Namjoon has been withdrawing himself from you and doesn’t come home until late at night.

With questions far larger than either of you imagined, you can’t help but wonder if he’s let his past and old fears come back to haunt him. You had shown him that it was possible to have a home and be loved once before, but will you be able to do it again?

Warning: A brief implication of drugs - shit’s about to go down in this part - sorry - not sorry.

Music Playlist:

Main Master List:

Knitting You a Home Master List:

Mated Love is Never Easy Series Master List:

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - ?

©thatmultifandomhoe 2021. Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

Namjoon’s chest was heaving as he got off the stage, the strobe lights swirling around the room as the bounced up and down. Whoever decided that having the Underground under a night club was perhaps the smartest person alive.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Jackson shouted, handing Namjoon a towel to wipe away the sweat. “You have them eating out of your hands man.”

Letting himself be led to the lounge area, Namjoon laughed as Jackson continued praising him. His ears felt warm as he ducked his head, taking a moment to focus on drying off and collecting his thoughts, a habit he engaged in since the first time he went up on stage.

The Underground lasted until dawn every night. After that first encounter with Jackson, Namjoon found himself coming to Lotus after work on the nights they had rap battles, and this was his fourth time rapping against someone. Apparently after he told Jackson about wanting to be on stage, the jacked up blond man had self-appointed himself as his own personal manager and by the next night when Namjoon came by, he had a clipboard tossed in his face. Written in black pen was his name on a sign-up sheet. Fourth spot.

There was a part of him that felt guilty for not telling you about this. He was still playing it off as late nights at work, which was partially true. Yoongi and him were still at odds with the artist, the unspeakable song was now a thorn in their sides along with the unwanted girlfriend. She was coming to all the meetings now. Her perfume tainted their workspace to the point that Namjoon had to ask Yoongi if they could share studios for a bit.

But now instead of catching the bus or a ride with Yoongi to go home, he found himself going to Lotus, a flame within burning to get up on the stage again. He had years of material and with it memorized, it was only the nerves he had to shove away before walking up those short steps.

No one had cheered for him when he was announced that first night. The other contender had been new as well, but by the end of their round, the crowd was cheering for Rap Monster even after Jackson led him away for some air.

“Hey man, you feeling okay?” Jackson suddenly asked, the door creaking as he led Namjoon out a side door.

Namjoon lifted his head, breathing in a lungful of the warm summer air. “Yeah,” he said, leaning against the brick wall when the door shut. The loud music was muffled then, giving him the peace that he needed for that moment. The high he got from being up there was, out of this world, but the last thing he wanted was for it to get to his head.

What he wanted, was for you to be there.

To be cheering him on and being the one for him to hug after each round. To breathe in your scent and go on a mental trip to fall where there were crisp apples and nutmeg, all while standing out in the middle of a summer night. You were the one who grounded him, the most important person in the world, all while reminding him that he was living out his dreams.

“Just catching my breath,” Namjoon reassured.

Jackson pointed a finger at him and joined his side against the wall. “Man, I knew I had a good feeling about you since that first night.”

“Are you sure you don’t have any dog DNA in you?” Namjoon asked, still amazed with how much energy Jackson possessed.

The blond just laughed though. “Yeah, I’m sure. There’s just something I don’t get though.” He handed over a water bottle, not without stealing a sip first.

“And what’s that?”

“Why the hell don’t you have an album out if you work for a recording company?” Jackson frowned as he looked at Namjoon. The question had been bothering Jackson since he first learned about where he worked.

However, Namjoon just shrugged, gulping down some of the lukewarm water. “It wasn’t a priority when I first started working there,” he explained, passing the bottle back to Jackson. “Yes, I wrote songs and after I met Angel, the dream of putting out an album finally came back, but I wasn’t ready for anyone to hear it.”

Jackson nodded in understanding, but came to a pause as he thought over something that confused him. “Wait, you saw an Angel? Man, do I need to know something? Maybe start carrying a little something in-case things go sideways?”

Grateful to not have taken a drink, Namjoon grinned. Although, when you entered his life, he swore that angels were suddenly real and walked among everyone on Earth, they were just well hidden. Only revealing themselves to a special few. He knew that considering his life and the things that he’s done, he didn’t deserve you, but he was a selfish bastard and he didn’t want to let you go.

“No, no. You’re fine. Angel is just a nickname for my…”

His voice softened, torn between saying the truth, and what he so longed to say. His wife. That word alone managed to free and strangle him at the same time, because as true as it was, it wasn’t a legal binding marriage. Not for humans at least.

“Your Mate?” Jackson said, figuring that was what he meant.

“Yeah,” he said. “My Mate.”

Pointing at the door, Jackson smiled. “Is she here? What the hell man, why’d you let me take you outside if she’s inside? Shit, I feel bad, we ditched her without a second thought. Look I know a girl who works at this florist shop, she does some amazing work and I can get you a discount if your girl’s upset –”

“Angel’s not here,” Namjoon interrupted, waving his hands to catch his attention. It truly was shocking that the guy wasn’t a hybrid.

Jackson’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open, the snap-back that he wore sliding down until he shoved it around backwards. “Oh shit, is she sick?”

“No, she just…”

How does he say that you had no idea that he was even here? That if he was being honest, you were probably certain that he was still at work and because you trusted him, hadn’t thought to call Yoongi and ask where he was. Namjoon knew that you listened to rap on occasion, so it wasn’t as if you would outright hate the music.

It was just…no one knew who he was here.

Sure, he was quickly becoming friends with Jackson, but Jackson never knew him before their first meeting. No one knew about his past, or the hybrid that he had been forced to be to survive. They only knew what he told them, and the songs he wrote and performed.

The idea of you not approving, or worse, being disappointed in him, made the hard decision only slightly easier. It was better that you didn’t know. He was already unable to do the one thing he knew you longed for, why add another to that list?

The side door opened, strobe lights brightening the darkness as a group of girls walked outside, their high-pitched laughter hitting Namjoon’s ears in a way that had them flattening against his skull. They served as the distraction that he needed though. One glance at Jackson revealed that his new friend was already grinning, even finger waving, at one of the brunettes.

Namjoon raised an eyebrow, fighting back a smile as he clapped Jackson’s shoulder. “Alright Romeo, I’m calling it a night.”

“Yeah,” Jackson murmured, glancing back at Namjoon. “I’ll see you for the next battle?”

“I’ll be here. Night man.”

“Night.”

Walking around his friend, Namjoon opened the door and glanced backwards, chuckling as Jackson nodded for the girl to join him. Not wanting to get in the way of his friend perhaps meeting the one, he let the door close behind him and headed his way towards the hallway that would lead out of the Underground and the Lotus.

There was certainly a benefit to knowing that for every Hybrid, each one had their own Mate, destined to be their one and only for eternity. There was too much uncertainty with humans, always the possibility that they didn’t love you as much as you loved them. Granted, finding your Mate was never always an easy thing to do, but even on the coldest night when the entire world appeared in black and white, it had been a comforting thought to know that someone was out there waiting for him.

He never would have thought he’d end up with an angel though.

Leaving the swarm of club goers behind him, he deeply inhaled, double patting his back pocket to guarantee that his notebook was still there – which it was thankfully – and began the long walk home. The last bus running had stopped hours ago. Even Jerry was starting to ask where he went now that he was getting off at a new stop. Every time he asked, the concern and worry rolled off of him like freshly baked bread, and the lies came too easily.

I’m meeting up with Angel for a late night out.

It had worked for the first couple times, but Namjoon knew it wouldn’t last forever. There were only so many places that the someone could go to this late at night.

His ears flattened against the curve of his skull, his tail coming to a halt as he walked. When did it become easier to lie to you than tell the truth? This wasn’t a life that you deserved, but as much as he hated to admit it, there was no ending in sight for him. He…he couldn’t give up the rap battles. Not when he was getting so much attention, when so many people were enjoying and listening to what he had to say.

He finally found a place where he felt like he belonged.

Deep within, his heart ached in confusion and longing. After so long, he was getting the recognition and acknowledgement that his dreams had a possibility of being a reality. On the other side however, he knew he wasn’t supposed to be doing this alone. There was an empty place that could only be filled by one person and one person only, and you were sleeping in bed.

Carefully shutting the front door behind him, Namjoon yawned as he removed his ear buds with one hand, pausing the music on his phone with the other, all while carefully kicking his shoes off and on to the rack in the hallway.

It was well after three in the morning, and limbs heavy from the long walk, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep with you before returning back to work in a few hours. If it weren’t for the fact that he knew he couldn’t sleep without you anymore, he would have gladly passed out on the couch that was only a handful of steps away.

His exhaustion dulled his senses and as a result, he didn’t pick up on the way that your scent was stronger than it usually was. Granted, this was your home and you spent a majority of your time here, but the living room and kitchen were bathing in nutmeg. He hummed at the way it tickled his memories, vaguely recalling the last time it had been this strong so late at night.

A bang in the kitchen revived him from his daze, frowning as he hurried his way to the kitchen, only then noticing how all the lights in the living room and kitchen were on. He stopped short though, only reaching the kitchen table which was currently hidden underneath the many plates of baked goods that covered it.

You were standing at oven with you back to him, the screen of your phone lit up as your fingers quickly tapped on it before removing a cookie sheet off the stove top and on to a cooling rack. It was a pie. A deep breath on his part and not only was he smelling you, or the apple pie that you baked at three in the morning, but the saltiness of tears being shed.

“Angel?”

Stepping around the table, Namjoon suddenly felt wide awake knowing that you were in pain. His instincts screamed at him to go to you, to hold and comfort you until you were able to tell him what was wrong. To protect you from whatever was hurting you.

At the sound of his voice, you whirled around to face him, the tears turning your eyes into mini oceans when you met his gaze. But you held a palm up and shook your head. His heart came to sudden halt. You didn’t want him to come to you.

“I…I can’t do this,” you said. Your voice was cracking, your free hand curling into a fist by your side.

He felt your pain coming off of you in waves, every emotion seeming to hit Namjoon from every angle but when he tried to go to you once again, a choked cry escaped your lips as you shook your head again.

“Sweetheart,” he whined, his ears now completely flat as he reached out for the back of the chair. You never turned away his hugs and touch before. Usually, you told him how much his presence was more than enough to comfort you. “What’s wrong? What happened Angel?”

A quick glance away from you revealed that even on the counters there were more baked goods. The last time you had done this…Sue had taken Hoseok away from Sarah. He bit down on the inside of his mouth, trying to push that memory away. No. You were his Mate. You had promised that what happened to them would never happen to the two of you.

He watched your tongue dart out to wet your lips, your shaky breaths loud as your tried to collect yourself without his help, his own tears slipping out when you covered your face with your hands for a moment.

“Who is she?” Your voice was muffled by your hands, but you lifted your head to repeat yourself. “Who is she?”

“Who’s who?” He asked, not understanding who you were talking about.

That must have been the wrong thing to say however, because your face scrunched up as another sob left your shoulders shaking and bent you forward. Despite not wanting him near, he couldn’t let you collapse in on yourself. Catching you, he gently guided you to one of the chairs, crouching down on the floor in front of you to be able to look up at you.

“Please, sweetheart. What’s going on? Please tell me.”

“Who is she?” You asked, staring at him with all the pain laid out in your eyes for him to see, sending his own heart cracking at the agony you had been hiding from him. He didn’t think anything could be more painful than seeing you hurting so much. His entire being and purpose felt like it was shattering to a million pieces.

“Who’s the woman that you’re having an affair with Namjoon? Who is she?”

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julemmaes · 4 years

Text

Honey extra - The Sex Playlist + a little scene

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: I posted part five on the same day acosf was released, so if you didn’t see it, go read it, cause it’s.. long and it took me years to finish and I saw it didn’t get the same attention the previous parts did, and yeah

fic masterlist

this takes place somewhere between part five and six

Elide was one of the few lucky girls whose period was never too bothersome. The pain was always very bearable and only lasted a few hours, and most of the time, it wasn't even a real pain, just a slight pressure in the lower abdomen. She could go about her day without having to stop every few minutes because of a cramp - unlike Aelin, who died every month as if someone was stabbing her in the guts.

She also didn't have a heavy flow, which she would always thank the gods for, if they existed. She couldn't understand how her friends could put up with such misfortune.

Not that they could do otherwise, of course, but she was always in awe when they told her about their period-catastrophes. She knew that if it were her turn to suffer like that every time, she would rip her uterus out of her belly.

And at that moment, lying in a fetal position on Lorcan's bed, she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to keep from doing it herself before the cramping stopped. Because for some strange reason, her body had decided to turn against her this month.

The last two weeks had gone by in the blink of an eye, she and Lorcan had fucked on every surface in the house and between work and classes and studying, Elide had gotten very little sleep. Considering also that every time she lay down, her boyfriend would slip in behind her and she couldn't say no to herself, to that pleasure so exhaustive and ecstatic, it made her forget that her body needed rest.

It had taken Lorcan to remind her that they couldn't go on like this.

So when she'd found a bloodstain in her underwear the previous night, just before going to bed after her shift at the diner, she hadn't worried so much and had thought that they'd finally take a few days off and maybe her body would calm down.

Elide wasn't a fan of period sex and the few times she'd done it she'd been so grossed out that she'd risked barfing in the middle of it. It simply wasn't for her.

What she hadn't expected though, had been cramps so strong they had pulled her from sleep in the middle of the night. Elide had gotten up and gone to the bathroom because she'd started moving around too much and didn't want to wake up the boy sleeping blissfully next to her. She had started pacing the living room, trying to figure out what the fuck she was in such pain for.

When it felt like someone had stuck both hands in her uterus and was digging their nails into her ovaries, Elide had knelt on the floor by the couch, leaning forward with her fists pressed against her stomach.

Lorcan had found her in that position around half past four.

To say he'd been scared out of his wits would be an understatement.

He'd thrown himself to the floor beside her almost immediately, all traces of weariness gone the second he'd heard her whimper in pain and seen that Elide was biting her lower lip so hard it was drawing blood.

When they had established that it was just her cycle, Lorcan had taken her back to his bed and now they were both lying between the soft blankets she had given him.

They had both been puzzled by this new symptom. After all, Lorcan had never seen her suffer from her period in all the years they had lived together and neither of them had expected it to be any different this time.

Elide had had to joke that it was the fault of his huge cock that had literally stabbed her in the uterus, and Lorcan had apologised in earnest, looking at her with wide eyes and pulling away a little, as if he really felt guilty. She had burst out laughing and then pulled him to her again, taking one of his arms and putting it around her body so that his big hand covered her belly.

He'd started moving his fingers over her lower abdomen, applying pressure from time to time when she seemed to tense up due to a cramp. It helped, somehow, to have him there to massage her. To hold her to his chest as they cuddled.

Now, Elide kept her eyes closed, his head resting on top of hers as they both dozed. Or at least she thought so, because Lorcan spoke, his rough, low voice too close to her ear, "How do you feel?"

She sighed, pulling her knees up slightly. His legs immediately followed her, as if they couldn't bear to be away from her body. She smiled, "A little better." then yawned, "I guess it's the fact that I was already tired as it is, what with university and all."

Lorcan hummed behing her, "I see," then he moved, pulling away only briefly, "maybe we should take it slower, with everything I mean."

Elide nodded slowly. She turned her head towards him, still with her eyes closed, but pursed her lips forward, silently inviting him to kiss her. He chuckled, but a second later their mouths clashed in a simple peck on the lips.

The music playing from the speakers suddenly changed from the sweet melody of a love song to something quite different.

"Cause I eat up for a while, let me through. The shake, the screaming aloud, I'ma fool. In my face you shake, leaking everywhere."

Elide's eyes went wide, "Lorcan!" she let go a surprised chuckle, "What is this?" she turned to him fully and could finally see the satisfied smirk on his face.

"It's a playlist I made yesterday," he then lowered his voice an octave, looking at her lips, "For when we can take the time to think about music instead of jumping right into it," he murmured.

Elide swallowed, nodding slowly, continuing to listen to the song.

Definitely very different from what he normally provided her with.

"I like it," she continued, then draped her arms underneath his, resting her head against his chest as he pulled her close to him and lay on his back, making her lie completely on top of him, "our sex playlist." she smiled, playing with the ends of his hair.

Lorcan hummed again and Elide felt it throughout her whole body when he said, "I called it 'elide'."

She had to force herself to calm the hot spirits that that new information had triggered in her body, but she was glad to know that he wouldn't be able to use that playlist with other people, considering it bore her name.

"I like it even more now," she confessed under her breath.

His arms tightened around her back and then his hands began to rub her lower back, where he knew she was feeling the most pain. Elide fell silent, enjoying his warm hands on her skin, and only had time to thank him before sleep beckoned her again.

The playlists

01.02

1. The Fixer – Brent Morgan

2. Why iii Love The Moon – PHONY PPL

3. Couch Potato – Jakubi

4. Anyway – Noah Kahan

5. comethru – Jeremy Zucker

6. Why Not Me – Forrest.

7. Loving – Surfaces

8. always, i’ll care – Jeremy Zucker

9. Like Strangers Do – AJ Mitchell

10. Yellow Lights – Harry Hudson

11. Glue Myself Shut – Noah Kahan

12. Colour Me – Juke Ross

13. Lovesong (The Way) – Charlie Burg

14. Lucky Love – Michael Seyer

15. Freak In Me – Mild Orange

elide

1. Skin – Rihanna

2. Do It For Me – Rosefield

3. Body Party – Ciara

4. When We – Tank

5. Rockstar – Rihanna

6. F***in Wit Me – Tank

7. On Top – Trey Songz

8. Acquainted – The Weeknd

9. Freaky – Gemaine

10. Make You Feel – Alina Baraz

11. First Fuck - 6LACK & Jhené Aiko

12. Young God - Halsey

13. How Many Times – DJ Khaled

14. Fuck You All The Time – Jeremih

18.02

1. I Don't Know Me Like You Do – Low Hum

2. I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You – Charlie Burg

3. Why Can't I Have You – Gloria Laing

4. If I Go, I'm Goin – Gregory Alan Isakov

5. Let Me In – Skinny Living

6. Reason To Hate You – Rhys Lewis

7. Be Your Man – Rhys Lewis

8. Yours – Jake Scott

9. Loved Us More – Munn

tog tag list (if you wanna be removed or added just send an ask or dm me)

@maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @ladywitchling @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @anne-reads @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @simping4bookboisngrls @post-it-notes33 @booksstorm @nalgenewhore @queen-of-demons-and-hell @miserablemusings @lanyjoy-13 @vasudharaghavan @cupcakey00 @bri-loves-sunflowers @queen-of-glass @thewayshedreamed @the-regal-warrior @fangirlprincess09 @januarystears @rowaelinismyotp

#honey #elorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #elorcan roommates au #tog #throne of glass #tog fic

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vegetalass · 4 years

Note

What about the RDR2 boys on a road trip?

Thank you so much for this fun request! As you can see.... I went a little crazy❤️✨😩

General

They fight about what snacks they should bring and end up forgetting them all

They all fart in the car and blame each other for it.

Literally ends up being the stinkiest ride ever and everyone wants to Die

The fighting about what’s played on the stereo is endless and someone is always unhappy about it

If they have to take two separate cars, Hosea switches up the groups so that no one is stuck with the same people for too long

If one car seats seven, Hosea and Dutch will take the other for themselves (smh)

I’m not gonna lie… literally all of them would pee in a bottle… how they feel about it is pretty different, though

Arthur

Can drive one-handed

Drives in silence, not because he likes silence but because everyone else is Too Loud and he needs a break

Tries to talk about the scenery but that’s boring and he gets ignored

Also gets ignored when he points out cool cars.. and cows… and license plates…

Even Charles can’t be bothered to respond

Backseat driver

Gets yelled at constantly for this but doesn’t stop

John gets it the worst

He doesn’t have road rage, just thinks that everyone is a bad driver

His favorite thing is to roll down all of the windows in the car

Rarely gets to do this because of how many complaint’s he’d get

Stops at every farm stand on the side of the road that he sees

After a while he doesn’t even need anything and just does it because he feels bad if he drives past them

The only thing he’ll eat while driving is chips

His clothes and seat get covered in crumbs

Wears his hat, jacket and boots in the car even though it’s hot and doesn’t make sense

Also probably buys one of those dangly pine trees to hang on his rearview mirror

Can’t read in the car because he gets carsick :(

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, but he doesn’t want to talk about it

John

If he’s not driving, he’s probably asleep

And if he’s not asleep, he’s “resting”

Honestly, he just doesn’t want to talk to anyone in that environment

The grumpiest one of them

He’s just mad (sad) because Abigail wouldn’t let him go with Ms. Grimshaw and the girls

Probably ends up spilling something and tries to blame it on whoever is sitting next to him

Spends most of his radio time just browsing through stations

When he finds anything he likes, it immediately goes to ads and the process starts all over again

Takes all his rest stops at 7/11 just so he can get a slushee and a hotdog

He’s okay with stopping at gas stations too but they’re just not the same

Takes off his shoes in the car and just wears his socks the whole ride

He probably drives like that, too

This is why Abigail didn’t let him go with them

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, but he’d be mad about it and would try to bring it up a lot

Charles

Plans out where and when he’s going to make stops

Probably does a few stretches and some jumping jacks when he gets out of the car

He will let the gang stop at McDonalds but only if he thinks they deserve it

The only thing he orders for himself is an ice cream cone

The safest driver out of everyone

So safe, in fact, that he’s always made to drive at night

He doesn’t mind much because everyone is pretty quiet when it’s late and that means less complaining

Makes a long playlist full of music like Sufjan Stevens and Mumford & Sons (and The Black Eyed Peas)

Everyone tries to clown him for it but he’s the King of brushing it off

“When it’s your turn, you can play what you want” or “I didn’t complain when you were playing 100gecs”

First of all: drag them…

Second of all: okay, Dad.

Talented because he can read in the car without getting carsick

Apologizes for everyone’s behavior when they go anywhere

Makes everyone use hand sanitizer after doing literally anything

They have to pass it around the car like little kids

It’s probably Bath and Body Works

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, but pretends that he wouldn’t

Micah

If he’s driving, he gets control of the radio. Doesn’t matter if it’s his turn or not, he gets Full Control.

If anyone even suggests changing what he’s playing, he snaps at them

Dummy probably smokes in the car

Dummy also probably eats while he drives

Holds his food while steering

Everything gets greasy

His rest stops are incredibly short

So short that they practically don’t exist

Threatens to drive off without people

The only time Dutch intervenes with his behavior is when he tries to pick up a hitchhiker

He’s like, “Look Arthur, it’s your long lost brother!”

He also probably tries to stop at a gentlemen’s club in the middle of nowhere at some point, too

“I could crash this car right now if I wanted to”

He only says this once though because it causes a riot

Backseat driver but only to Arthur

Sean swerving and Hosea speeding: I sleep

Arthur accidentally cutting someone off: REAL SHIT?

The only other one who gets to use the charging cord (because he’s mean and demands to)

Would he pee in a bottle? - He’s almost happy to

Hosea

Is never allowed to drive because he doesn’t like to make stops. He 100% will drive past every single rest stop and every single McDonalds they see

Everyone could be screaming at him to pull over and he’d just ignore them

Drives way too fast. Catch him going 90 MPH saying “I’m just going with the traffic!”

Everyone else: terrified

When it’s his turn for the radio, he chooses to play an audiobook

If you complain about being bored to him, he’ll try to get everyone to sing campfire songs

Everyone gets to about ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall before giving up and start fighting

He’s also the one to suggest playing “I Spy”

The gang will play but it’s all like

“I Spy something gross”

“Is it Micah’s butt crack?”

“Yes”

Has one of those mini electric fans that sprays water at you when you press a button

Doesn’t share it

Always has his phone plugged into the charger to the point where no one else can use it

Keeps a box of bubbly water under his seat

It’s lukewarm

He’s the only one who drinks it but he offers it to everyone 24/7

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, but only because he makes the other boys do it and he feels guilty

Dutch

Acts like everyone should be grateful he’s driving even though they’re all taking turns

Pulls the “You’re lucky I drove, I’m not a chauffeur!” card when someone is mean to him about anything

Music of choice is just Elvis Presley with a few random smooth jazz songs mixed in

“What do you boys know about this?”

Everyone: …

Complains about everything

If he’s not complaining about someone being irritating, he’s complaining about how hot it is, and if not that, there’s something else

Always thirsty and needs to have a drink with him at all time

Will only share it with Hosea or Arthur and lowkey neither of them want what he’s drinking

When he’s driving, makes everyone stop at a drive-through cafe where he orders the most expensive iced drink on the menu

Like Arthur, gets mad at people for “not enjoying the view”

“You boys are so lucky you get to experience the…” Blah, blah, blah

Ends up falling asleep but only because he wears a sleep mask and ear plugs

Probably listens to music on a walkman lmao

*Dutch in sunglasses and headphones* “Sorry I didn’t see you right there, I was too busy, mmm, blocking out the haters”

Would he pee in a bottle? - Yes, because he thinks it’s efficient

Kieran

Slowest driver of the bunch

And out of all of them, takes the most stops

Probably packs his own bag of snacks and it’s all fucking jellybeans and gummy bears

Says that they’re the easiest to eat while driving

Technically, that isn’t even a lie (Micah, please take notes)

He will stop anywhere anyone asks… Why is he so nice?

His favorite stop is Dunkin’ Donuts, though

The music he plays is either great or awful and no one can agree on which is which

Every other song is 2000s dance techno

That or Taylor Swift (and that’s when people start yelling at him to change it)

Spends the whole trip in slides and no one wants to sit next to him because of his exposed feet

He can (and will) drive in them, though

When he’s not driving, he’s probably watching a movie or playing games on a big ass tablet

Gets made fun of for using huge headphones

People are just jealous he’s able to find a wifi signal

Would he pee in a bottle? - He’s done grosser things for less, so yes

Javier

Brings himself a sandwich to eat and ends up sitting on it

Backseat driver energy but he’s better at restraining his comments than Arthur

That being said, if your driving is shitty, he will send you Vibes

Doesn’t bother much with searching for music and just ends up playing a few hour long YouTube mixes when it’s his turn for the radio

It’s either that, or Mexican radio for 2 hours (and he will sing along)

The only people who don’t complain about this are Charles and Arthur

Probably the only one out of all of them to make the gang go to an actual restaurant during his rest stop

It’s the first real meal any of them have had in like, three days, and suddenly they all feel better

They refuse to admit it, though

Clips his nails out the window at some point

Ties a bandana around his eyes and uses it as a sleep mask

*insert that picture of the guy with his face mask over his eyes on an airplane*

Also probably uses the bandana to block out the smell of farts when it gets especially stinky

Would he pee in a bottle? - He doesn’t want to, but his logic is that if everyone is doing it, why shouldn’t he?

Sean

His driving speed is normal but his driving skills are… Bad

He just isn’t paying attention honestly

Too busy talking

Probably tries to text and drive

Arthur takes away his phone after that

Also, did someone say road rage?

When it’s his turn for music, only plays nasty pop and rap

It’s fine at first, but the fourth time he plays “I Cry” by Flo Rida or “New Body” by Kanye and Nicki Minaj, everyone gets mad

Only takes rest stops at gas stations

And takes literally the longest stops out of all them

Probably spends the whole time telling the gas station cashier about how annoying everyone is

Everyone is like “kasjdfkhd” because they think he’s the annoying one and they’ve been waiting to leave for like ten minutes

Don’t sit next to him because he will sweat on you

If you share your drink with him, 50% chance he’ll backwash in it

When he’s not driving, he’s watching Tik Toks without headphones (if Arthur has given his phone back, that is)

Would he pee in a bottle? - Without hesitation

Bonus:

While the boys are all off fighting, Ms. Grimshaw packed the girls a picnic that they get to enjoy at a nice, camping rest stop

Molly speeds like the devil

She’s like Hosea, if not worse

Tilly made everyone a different playlist and they all take turns listening to them

Karen isn’t allowed to drive because she spiked her water bottle before leaving

Also isn’t allowed the aux cord because she will play inappropriate music or meme songs

Sadie pumps the gas and chooses all of the snacks for everyone

It’s a mixture of healthy treats and candy

Jack is the Squidward wearing sunglasses while sunbathing meme when John asks if he wants to ride “with the boys”

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption 2 headcanons #rdr2 headcanons #rdr2 #arthur morgan #bruh i went off #i had to go on a roadtrip a couple years ago and it was HELL so this was easy tho #im working late tomorrow but feel free to send me some ideas yall! i might not do them all but i love thinking about them❤️#also the format got fucked up so if its a lil messy i sowwy #shyhidingshadowgirl

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givemeonebreath · 3 years

Text

A big, messy Linked Universe playlist

Link for Links

Heavy on the angst, because of who I am as a person. (At the same time, don’t take it too seriously, man.)

Influenced by canon, manga (TP Link is really Going Through It™ ), my personal perceptions, and popular fandom canon.

A pretty wide variety of genres, with a bias towards metal and prog rock.

I kept snippets of lyrics for most songs, also because of who I am as a person. (Some were particularly hard to narrow down to just one verse or chorus.) Those - and a little more rambling - are under the cut if you really want, in the order of the playlist. But. It’s long.

I didn’t initially make this with the intent to share, but hey. Throughout my past year+ of listening, I’ve been haphazardly adding songs to a playlist I very creatively named Links. If something reminded me of them, whether through the music or lyrics or both, I threw it on the playlist, so some songs might seem odd or vague. Some are really on the nose, as subtle as a sledgehammer. (Sky for Sky? Dude. Sorry.) Some are there because of a fitting line or two that stuck in my head. Ultimately, music - like any form of creative expression - can be interpreted in a multitude of ways.

My listening habits and tastes are erratic, which is why this is one big, jumbled playlist and not separated for different Links. Not to mention if I did that, some (Wild, Legend) would have a lot and some (Wind, Four) would have none, both because of my own familiarity with them, and because of the general themes of the music I tend to listen to. Most songs are a general ‘hero’s spirit reborn’ mood, anyway - those are the first part of the playlist. The second half is more nuanced to specific Links, plus a few Ganon vibes.

1. Deep Purple - April (Koji Kondo, composer of the original Legend of Zelda theme, was into Deep Purple as a kid, and it shows.)

2. Kamelot - Regalis Apertura

3. Au4 - So Just Hang On, Beautiful One (I’ve posted this here before. I can’t hear it without thinking of LU now.) So I slipped in through the gate almost unknown. All my border stamps were late. Seven days old. Cold hand griped my shoulder blade, broke the bone. Bloody nose and turned away, all the way home.

4. FC Kahuna - Hayling Don’t think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here

5. Glass Animals - Youth Boy, when I left you you were young I was gone, but not my love You were clearly meant for more Than a life lost in the war

6. Pain of Salvation - Restless Boy A restless boy in a world too slow A flame born into cinder, ash, and glow I've given everything I gave it all Yet find myself alone

7. Haken - The Endless Knot Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line our cycle starts to fail. Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line we die to live again. We need a story to believe in. We need a hero to prevail. We need a challenge we can overcome, it takes a tragedy to make us one

8. Kamelot - Memento Mori (I particularly associate this with Time and Twilight) I am the god in my own history The master of the game I may believe if she would come to me And whisper out my name Sometimes I wonder where the wind has gone If life has ever been Sometimes I wonder how belief alone Can cut me free from sin

9. Katatonia - Fighters Look I told you so We never stop If we said that We'll back it up For sure You know We're fighters

10. Megadeth - This Day We Fight! (I mean, all Links, but particularly Warriors) For this I was chosen, because I fear nothing With confidence I tread through the dead of the night Off to another war-torn, faraway battlefield Wherein lies a demonic enemy horde

11. Moon Tooth - Igneous Well, the spirit took me And this old broken body leapt up and danced Settin’ out Settin' out with all my heroes in a bundle at my back Hawk am I More wings span in my shadow than overcast Yeah, you know what they say Always need something to look up to, ha

12. Samael - Moongate Destiny, tomorrow is today Destiny, without boundaries How many nights will we spend together traveling infinity back and forth and again How many times will we go together questioning eternity about us about our wonders...

13. TOOL- Parabola This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion

14. Lunatic Soul - Blood on the Tightrope No matter how hard you try To shut down your feverish thoughts They hunt you down with no regret Cause you have to fix it all

15. Hybrid - Keep It In The Family

16. Soul Savers - Unbalanced Pieces Gone, now carry on Through violent seasons I call you mother, mother, mother In vain, absent chain The twilight's bleeding And the playing board has two unbalanced pieces

17. Steve Von Till - Valley of the Moon All she gives is a stone facade Like ill-given flowers at a dead man's wake Here we slave for the dreams of another And fight over scraps like wayward dogs

18. Ludovico Einaudi - Experience

19. Lunatic Soul - Summoning Dance Three stones on the right side Three stones on the left My vicious circle of life and death “Oh you want it” I hear it again “Oh you want it” My burden Curse to break

20. Lunatic Soul - Through Shaded Woods Run through your shaded woods Run through your shaded mind Run through the night Run away Run through the darkness Run

21. Lunatic Soul - Naavie

22. David Bowie - Nature Boy There was a boy A very strange, enchanted boy They say he wandered very far Very far, over land and sea A little shy and sad of eye But very wise was he

23. The Dandy Warhols - Sleep Well, I could sleep forever But it's of her I dream If I could sleep forever I could forget about everything

24. Au4 - Everyone is Everyone (and Everything is Everything) Tripping and tumbling, Flipping and fumbling. Flowing on the rivers of sadness That have been forever rumbling. But from dawn until now Of all the paths that I could have gone down Of all the valleys That I could have been flowing through. In spite of all the chaos And all that has come between us, How is it I still find myself Here with you.

25. Kingcrow - Everything Goes Your hands again upon the ground Falling rain for hours and hours As you learn the game Time dispels the fog ... Ever been there? Ever felt like prey? Ever thought your mind was feeble? Lot of things that don’t make sense

26. Pain of Salvation - Icon As a child I felt too old And now when I'm grown-up I feel too young A different kind so I've been told Just slightly out of reach and out of time

27. Sophia Loizou - Divine Interference (I got spooky dungeon vibes. Also, the title.)

28. Carpenter Brut - Fab Tool Runnin Gunnin Forward in the phantom shatter so grand Splatter grand, arcanum fuel Wrought iron out of the sky Over me, tells no lie

29. Blue Stahli - Death Will Have to Run All on the open road Where none will ever grow A journey toward the known With countless miles to go

30. Gyroscope - Mistakes & Ladders I am the first? No I can't be the first A continuous nothing, destined for something Tell me who you are and why you trapped me here

31. Queens of the Stone Age - Run, Pig, Run Run, pig, run Here I come

32. Chali 2na & Krafty Kuts - Guard The Fort The swords are drawn and odds are stacked And we clash the impact's a thunderous clap Calm demeanor Even though we are under attack [...my turn to guard the fort ready for combat]

33. The Great Discord - Army of Me (lol)

34. Kongos - Terrified I think I'll start again and change my name You only live once or twice, what a shame Somebody fucked up when designing this game

35. Woodkid - Run Boy Run Run, boy, run! This ride is a journey to Run, boy, run! The secret inside of you Run, boy, run! This race is a prophecy Run, boy, run! And disappear in the trees

36. The Beta Machine - The End A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me

37. Devin Townsend Project - Gump When we last met who was I? I'm sorry we no longer see eye to eye The energy to keep you in while keeping myself out I'm sorry how you'll take this But I just don't have the patience anymore

38. Arrested Youth - Riot! I can't get much satisfaction living in this cave It's tough to breathe, I'm in the belly of the beast Can't sleep with all my rage With me and all my generations living in this cage Pick up your guns and tell your sons, tonight we break the cage

39. Led Zeppelin - Friends So anytime somebody needs you Don't let them down, although it grieves you Some day you'll need someone like they do Looking for what you knew

40. Faunts - M4, pt 2 (Wild) Fight your foes you're not alone Holy war is on the phone Asking to please stay on hold Bleeding loss of blood runs cold And I need you to recover Because I can't make it on my own

41. Faith No More - Ashes to Ashes (Wild) I want them to know it's me, it's on my head I'll point the finger at me, it's on my head Smiling with the mouth of the ocean And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain

42. Devin Townsend - Jupiter (Wild) I know you At least I think I do Everything's changed But in the days that are so dark It's wonderful

43. Katatonia - Neon Epitaph (Wild) Shadow of my shadow Cling not to my grief I am long left behind now You are free

44. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning (Wild) Time has stopped before us The sky cannot ignore us No one can separate us For we are all that is left The echo bounces off me The shadow lost beside me There's no more need to pretend Cause now I can begin again

45. Katatonia - Lacquer (Wild) My voice travelling Soaring bird above your head The house we lived in Ridden with disease ... The levee breaking I can't live to fight once more The road to the grave is straight as an arrow I'm just staying around to sing your song, baby

46. Eskimo Joe - This is Pressure (Wild) There is no romance in suffocation The walls fall down like your expectations You want to scream And you want to shout But you've built up steam And you can't let it out This is pressure

47. Portugal. The Man - 1000 Years (Wild) We'll wait 1000 years Until the end of time We'll wait 1000 more Dressed up in gold and white We'll climb the mountain sides To find what's in the sky We'll dig through mountain sides To find what's deep inside

48. Au4 - An Ocean’s Measure of Sorrow (Wild) Forgot my name and who I was. Memories of nothing floating up. All of the sorrow we once knew, Colours the ocean's water blue.

49. Band of Skulls - Carnivorous (Twilight) I am corrosive and cohesive Like a chemical bond I'm all together undone I am the broken kingdom I'm just so, so, so So carnivorous

50. Glass Animals - Flip (Twilight) I wanna go back with a club and attack I wanna take to my guns and break you I gotta make my little foe take his own

51. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me (Twilight) My mind has changed my body's frame, but, God, I like it My heart's aflame, my body's strained, but, God, I like it

52. Kamelot - The Spell (Twilight) All my demons cast a spell The souls of dusk rising from the ashes So the book of shadows tell The weak will always obey the master

53. OSI - Radiologue (Legend) I was dreaming I was heading west thirty days faster Had a fever woke up in a sweat bailing out the water Can't go on Can't go back Heard your voice coming through the noise wrote it in the radio log Hurt my head, wondering what you said so I threw it overboard

54. Katatonia - Don’t Tell A Soul (Legend) I have been destroyed by the perfection that is a lie see I'm moving soon see my feet are already on the road and if you know where I’m going don’t tell a soul

55. Haken - The Mind’s Eye (Legend) The shape of things to come are closer than they seem Changing your design every time you disappear I'm planning my escape through portals of your mind Where people seem to drop like flies

56. Pain of Salvation - Species (Legend) Sometimes I hate my fucking species Yet most days I'll do anything to please it My generation was fooled to pursue our dreams But it is not what it seems You never need what you want And you rarely want what you need

57. Euringer - Do You Kiss Your Mama with That Mouth? (Legend) All my life, misunderstood I'm fuckin' too smart, too smart for my own good The last question, before I go is "Hey motherfucka, do you kiss your mama with that mouth?" Yes! I kiss your mama with this mouth

58. !!! - Pardon My Freedom (Legend) Like I give a fuck, like I give a shit Like I give a fuck about that shit Like I give a fuck about that motherfucking shit

59. Team Sleep - Ataraxia (Legend) Froze asleep Coma deep I dream I'm out with you Alone at sea

60. Oliver Tank - Embrace (Legend) You're in my dreams The world is torn apart at the seams And I don't wanna leave Wearing my heart on it's sleeve

61. Machine Gun Fellatio - The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares) (Legend) The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares I don't know what it means but she's got multi-coloured hair When she stands in the sand I dream of peaches And I'm not sure what that means either

62. Earl Greyhound - Shotgun (Legend & Hyrule) I am nobody, nobody is who I am I am a traveler on this land And nothing, nothing, nothing in my hands

63. TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun (Hyrule) You're staring at the sun You're standing in the sea Your mouth is open wide You're trying hard to breathe The water's at your neck There's lightning in your teeth Your body's over me

64. Echo & The Bunnymen - The Killing Moon (Time) Fate Up against your will Through the thick and thin He will wait until You give yourself to him

65. Sufjan Stevens - Sugar (Sky) Don’t break my heart, don’t break my flow now And all this rage has got to go now Let’s take up this lifeline Come on, baby, gimme some sugar Don’t make me wait Don’t make me wait too long Don’t make me sing the sad song Come on, baby, gimme some sugar

66. Obsydians - Ascension (Sky) Rise above the hardships you’ll face I will sign and keep on rising As long as you are giving me your soul and keep me awake Feel like home and spread your light around I will listen and just be there As long as you are giving me your love I’ll give you my soul

67. Sonique - Sky -_-

68. Enter Shikari - The King (Ganon) Watch your back, my friend I'm about to kickstart a cycle Of never ending revenge And this time it's primal, it's tribal

69. Saul Williams - WTF! (Ganon, Hylia) "You've been polluted, uprooted by time You have been muted, computed but I'm A living vessel of the one, of the moon, of the sun" Hey! You ain't as dead as you seem, what the fuck? Hey! But you keep living your lies

70. These New Puritans - We Want War (Ganon/ Dark Link/ any nemesis I guess) Shadows dance back up, it's happening again If you listen carefully you might hear them whisper: "We hold all the secrets, we hold all the words; But they're scrambled and broken so you'll never know" Can't you see them Floating like black ash? Can't you feel them Crawling down your back?

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #listening to music while I stare blankly at nothing is legit my number one hobby #and then shit like this happens #linked universe playlist

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